LISTEN UP
Tune in to the Times’ “Week In Review” podcast each Friday. Available on iTunes & arktimes.com
BRIAN CHILSON
INSIDER, CONT.
THE
BIG PICTURE
WHAT’S NEXT FOR TIM GRIFFIN? Tiny Tim, we hardly knew ye. U.S. Rep. Tim Griffin announced earlier this week that he will not seek another term after four years in Congress. It’s been a rough year for the congressman, between his role in the hideously unpopular government shutdown, a disaster in Mayflower that made his Exxon-funded pipeline cheerleading a bit awkward, and finally a tweet calling for Democrats to “stop the violent rhetoric” in the midst of reports of shots fired on Capitol Hill, which earned national condemnation. Was it all too much? Well, who knows why he’s leaving (we know, we know, he wants to spend more time with his family). But what will he do next? We checked with our bookie and here are the current odds on Griffin’s next move.
2-1 D.C. Lobbying Gig.
5-1
Heads up new think tank funded by shady, rich libertarians. Relative to lowly congressman, this new appointment ups his bank account and his influence on Capitol Hill.
10-1
12-1
15-1
Named chairman of Republican National Committee in wake of GOP panic after disappointing showing in 2014 mid-terms, including losing Griffin’s seat. Turns out that what he meant by “spend more time with my family” was actually spend more time on Twitter. Buys police scanner, live-tweets area shootings with complaints about Obama.
30-1
50-1
100-1
125-1
500-1
Hired by ExxonMobil, company issues vague statement on his role.
Hired by Fox News to do oppo research for Karl Rove’s commentary. Newsroom complains that Tim and Karl won’t stop shouting “the boys are back in town!” Jumps in the Republican primary for Arkansas governor, co-opting Asa’s exclamation point with “Timmeh!” signs. Secures venture capital from Koch Brothers to start Griffin’s Liberal Voter Cages. Keep ’em away from the polls the old fashioned way: in a cage!™ Stars in a new sitcom with former U.S. Attorney Bud Cummins called “Who You Know, Not What You Know.” Spends all day in his garage building birdhouses while muttering about how historians will see George W. Bush as a misunderstood genius someday.
1,000-1
Shirtless posterboy for ExxonMobil’s new fragrance, Eau de Mayflower
5,000-1
After publication of his confessional memoir “I Know Why the Caging Turd Sings,” a repentant Griffin sends apologies, by direct mail, to African American voters in Jacksonville, Fla., for targeting them for ballot challenges.
10,000-1
Takes over the Zack Galifianakis role in “The Hangover IV.”
paying Kelly’s state salary, you also paid him an additional $18,696.50 in 2012 alone. Fairfield Bay Municipal Code states only that the city attorney is appointed and serves at the pleasure of the mayor and city council. It doesn’t define a salary or limit his billing rate, so Kelly is free to bill your town $125/ hr for answering emails from his other job, and he’s apparently allowed to bill you by submitting little more than a list of dates and actions (with no amount of time specified for each event) and claim 135 total billable hours that you have no way of verifying.” The Times has asked the secretary of state’s office for comment on Kelly’s moonlighting generally and specifically on whether he’s doing contract work on state time.
Rich get richer The Arkansas Advocates for Children and Families has issued a report underscoring the usual — tax policy in Arkansas favors the rich and does little for the poor. The report is called “A Better Foundation: Building a Tax System that Works for Ordinary Families.” Said the Advocates’ director, Rich Huddleston: “... [T]ax changes passed during the 2013 session consisted largely of personal income tax cuts benefiting upper-income taxpayers and sales and use tax cuts targeted to specific industry groups. ... [the changes] did little to improve overall tax fairness for low- and middle-income families; resulted in flat or underfunding for certain critical services for children and families in the short term; and further undermined an already strained base for funding future services that are critical to the state’s needs.” In four words: The rich get richer. Yes, there was a modest potential cut in the tax on groceries if the creek don’t rise. But the bottom 40 percent will see little or nothing from income tax and capital gains tax cuts. (That capital gains tax will be an enormous windfall for a handful of the unimaginably wealthy.) Result, said Huddleston: “Already, the bottom 40 percent of taxpayers have a state and local tax burden (twelve percent of their income) that is twice that of the richest one percent (who pay only six percent of their incomes in state and local taxes).” You’d think Huddleston didn’t know that was the idea. Trickle-down, see? www.arktimes.com
OCTOBER 24, 2013
11