Arkansas Times

ARKANSAS’S SOURCE FOR NEWS, POLITICS AND ENTERTAINMENT ■ AUGUST 10, 2011

www.arktimes.com

THE

GOLDFISH KING OF ARKANSAS

Need a goldfish?

Need 10 million?

Here’s the man to see.

BY DAVID KOON PAGE 10

BRIAN CHILSON

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By Emily Griffin

For more than 50 years Johnny Glaze, Public Relations Manager for the Parker Auto Group, has worked in the automotive industry, and while he’s sold many cars over the years, the one thing people remember him by is his kind-hearted and friendly attitude.

“He’s as positive as they come,” Dave Parker, owner of Parker Cadillac, said. “He makes people feel good about themselves.” Parker said Glaze has been a part of

the Parker Auto Group family for nearly 40 years and has never missed a day of work.

Glaze got his start in the automotive business working for his dad, Johnny Glaze, Sr., at the family’s car lot, Glaze Used Cars, which was located in the Levy area of Little Rock. He also served in the Korean War and upon returning home he entered the ministry.

Glaze joined the Parker Cadillac team in the ‘70s, just a few years after the store opened. He explained that he has always followed this motto, “Service makes Sales and Sales makes Service.” And he has certainly gone above and beyond the expectations of customer service.

“Make a sale, make a new friend—you represent the dealership wherever you go. Everyone you meet is a good prospect someday.”

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During this time, Glaze continued his work in the ministry (57 years to date) and is now serving as the pastor of the Little Rock Community Church located downtown at Twentieth and Louisiana. “The Lord’s 8($9&2(!"*&0$*+:5785'*&.5*%;&."&*5,6&8,+.&5&*!,7"<& “I try to let others see Christ within me. When that happens it’s greater than any sermon or testimony.”

“He’s ‘that guy’,” Josh Jenkins, General Manager for Parker Cadillac, explained. “He’s always has a smile on his face and kind words to share.” Jenkins said every morning Glaze walks through the store and says a prayer with everyone as they start their day. “He’s an inspiration to everyone here,” he added.

Glaze has no plans to slow down yet. He said he intends to keep working until “they tell me to stop.” As Public Relations Manager, Glaze visits daily all the Parker Glaze’s sales efforts landed him in the ranks of Dealerships: Parker Cadillac, Parker Lexus, and Parker Cadillac’s prestigious Crest Club. To become a Audi. He meets customers, talks with employees, and !"!#"$%&'()&!)*+&#"&,-&+."&+(/&01"&/"$2"-+&(3&456,7752& looks for ways the Dealerships can improve. sales personnel nationwide. Glaze not only won the award once, but 20 times, earning him “lifetime” Glaze and his wife of 58 years, Denva, have three membership and a commemorative gold ring which he children, Cynthia Fortune, Christy Vail and Craig proudly sports today. =75>"%&5*&8"77&5*&01"&?$5-62.,76$"-<&

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THE INSIDER

Update in ‘widow’ story

n The Times’ Aug. 3 cover story about the conning of a man with dementia by a woman who posed as a widow and was later convicted of mail fraud, has an update. U.S. attorneys have asked a federal court in Seattle to issue a restraining order to freeze the assets of Mark and Rosemary Lumpkin of Ratio, Ark., relatives of Shea Saenger, “to prohibit transfer or disposal of the assets the Lumpkins purchased using the approximately $1,121,000 of proceeds from [Shea] Saenger’s mail fraud scheme.” Norman Butler of Ellensburg, Wash., was the victim of Saenger’s scam.

Among the properties the federal filing lists as being “potentially subject to forfeiture” are: three Edward Jones Securities accounts, five Southern Bancorp checking and saving accounts, and 14 vehicles and pieces of farm equipment, including two tractors, valued at $325,000 and a $137,000 combine.

An affidavit by a postal inspector who investigated the Saenger case listed more than a dozen businesses in Eastern Arkansas where the Lumpkins reportedly invested or spent money.

Doug Butler, son of the man Saenger has admitted defrauding, said the filing was “a huge step” for his family. “Of all the different branches of [Saenger’s] family, the Lumpkins received the most money and offer the best chance of any really significant recovery.”

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Early ‘retirement’

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Deputy Managing Editor for Features Jack Schnedler will retire on Aug. 12 along with his wife, HomeStyle Editor Marcia Schnedler. But in an e-mail to the Democrat-Gazette newsroom with the subject line “The Unvarnished Truth,” Schnedler, 68, portrayed his departure as forced retirement. He said Managing Editor David Bailey and Editor Griffin Smith told him in June that he’d no longer be working for the paper.

“It was my distinct impression that I’d been laid off,” Schnedler wrote. “Griffin has since told me that I misunderstood the situation. I was not laid off, he said, and I shouldn’t take it personally. Rather, my position was being eliminated.

I told him that seemed a distinction without a difference.”

Schnedler’s retirement comes just over one month after two columnists, Jay Grelen and Linda Caillouet, were moved to the copy desk and features department, respectively. Deputy Editor Frank Fellone said to his knowledge, “we have no other serious or major changes on the horizon.”

Schnedler’s day-to-day duties will be absorbed by others on staff, Fellone said. www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 3

Smart talk

Contents

Tea Party timber

n Washington pundits say, “If it walks like a Tea Partier, talks like a Tea Partier, and votes like a Tea Partier, it’s probably a Tea Partier.” By that standard, four members of the Arkansas Congressional delegation are Tea Partiers, though none has owned up to it yet.

Republican Reps. Rick Crawford, Tim Griffin and Steve Womack, and Republican. Sen. John Boozman toed a Tea-Party line during the recent Washington gridlock. Yet none of the four is on the membership list of the Tea Party Caucus, as of March 31. Sixty representatives and four senators are on the list, all of them Republicans, of course. What makes the absence of the Arkansans even more noteworthy is that the Tea Party movement is overwhelmingly Southern, made up of the same kind of people as those who in earlier times opposed the civil rights movement, and earlier still supported secession. Though a Midwesterner, Rep. Michele Bachman of Minnesota, is the titular leader of the Tea Party Caucus, 63 percent of the members are Southerners. The Midwest has the second largest contingent of Tea Partiers — 19 percent.

Arkansas: Not a federal tax leech n While the South has long been seen as something of a fiscal parasite on the rest of the country, hogging more federal tax dollars than the Southern states collect, it turns out Arkansas did pretty well in that regard over the past two decades. According to a new report by The Economist, we’re one of only three states in the South (the others being Georgia and Texas) that paid in more in federal taxes than we spent in federal funds between 1990 and 2009.

During that time, according to their report, Arkansas collected $333.3 billion in federal taxes, but only spent $316.3 billion of Uncle Sam’s money. Compare that to Mississippi — which took in $164.7 billion and spent $404.6 billion — and Louisiana, which took in $397.8 billion and spent $601.2 billion. Also interesting is where some of the socially progressive states land on the list. California came in $336.2 billion in the black, New York $956.2 billion ahead, and Massachusetts $147.6 billion in the plus column.

8 Westward bound

What’s behind Little Rock hospitals’ expansion into West Little Rock? — By Leslie Newell Peacock

10 Lonoke County is goldfish central

TERRORISTS AND GUNS: The Huckabee version.

Making a buck off 9/11 n Just in time for the 10th anniversary of 9/11, Mike Huckabee is hawking a new “history” DVD on the terror attacks as part of his “Learn Our History” series.

“Join the TimeCycle Academy as they travel to one of the darkest days in our history ... but also a day of incredible bravery and a triumph of the American spirit,” the preview video teases, as the attacks are quickly followed by President Bush promising retribution and the U.S. “breaking apart Al Qaeda.”

In an interview last week on TV’s 700 Club, Huckabee said the video would teach kids “what really happened that day.” It will also cost $10, though the Huckabee website says a portion will got to survivors.

Agreeing with 700 Club host Pat Robertson, who suggested that education is failing American children, Huckabee said, “If you look at a typical textbook today, you’d think that America is an imperialistic, war-mongering country that’s gone around pushing people around for the last 250 years.” He didn’t say which typical textbooks he was talking about.

Also cashing in off 9/11: The Tea Party’s Campaign to Defeat Barack Obama, which is selling $10 commemorative pins of the World Trade Center attack, so that Americans “never, ever forget.”

See, without a pin, you might forget, like so many have forgotten Pearl Harbor.

That’s where Pool Fisheries breeds most of the world’s favorite aquatic pet. — By David Koon

29 Motto help

Free advice for Arkansas cities. — By Graham Gordy

DEPARTMENTS

3 The Insider

4 Smart Talk

5 The Observer

6 Letters 8-14 News

16 Opinion

18 Arts & Entertainment

31 Dining

32 Crossword/ Tom Tomorrow

38 Lancaster

Words n “Q. Explain the meaning of the expression ‘Tell it to the Marines.’

“A. The remark is said when one hears a far-fetched story. It means that when a doubtful tale is told, the trusted marines should pass upon its authenticity. Supposedly, in the 17th century in England, Pepys told Charles II he had heard of flying fish.

The king believed when the story was verified by an officer of the trusted Maritime Regiment.”

That’s a new one on me. The authorities I’m familiar with tell a story less flattering to the Marines. John Ciardi, for one, quotes a longer version of the saying: “Tell it to the Marines (the sailors are too smart to believe you).” He says that 18th century British sailors scorned the Marines on board, because of their ignorance of seamanship. Eric Partridge gives a similar account, and adds, “An early variant was that employed by Byron in 1823: that will do for the Marines, but the sailors won’t believe it.” Everybody agrees the expres4 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

Doug S mith doug@arktimes.com

sion started in Britain and spread to the U.S. n Nothing secedes like secession: “Now the Civil War was a near-run affair, and if Missouri had succeeded from the Union it might well have gone the other way.” n Ray White heard Governor Beebe say that someone needed “to come to the licklog.” Looking for an explanation on-line, White found a Time magazine report on the 1966 gubernatorial election in Arkansas: “In trouble, Johnson has not only shown himself eager to shake hands with Negroes, but has also gone hat in hand to seek [Gov-

ernor] Faubus’ blessing. Faubus, in turn, is urging his supporters to ‘come to the lick log’ (Arkansas argot meaning to swallow your pride and back Johnson).”

White asks the derivation of the phrase and whether it’s used only by Arkansas governors. The answer to the second question is “no.” The Dictionary of American Regional English says licklog is Southern, and gives examples from a number of Southern states, including Arkansas. DARE defines licklog as “A notched log or, rarely, a wooden trough, used to hold salt for livestock.”

Figuratively, DARE says, licklog came to mean “a gathering place, a point of contention,” and come to the licklog, “to act decisively, to face facts.” Another source suggests this meaning developed because in pioneer days, when land was unfenced, different herdsmen might want to use the log at the same time. “Give my cattle a lick or I’ll give you a licking,” in other words.

Jim Johnson took a licking 1966. He lost that election to Winthrop Rockefeller.

VOLUME 37, NUMBER 49 ARKANSAS TIMES (ISSN 0164-6273) is published each week by Arkansas Times Limited Partnership, 201 East Markham Street, 200 Heritage Center West, P.O. Box 34010, Little Rock, Arkansas, 72203, phone (501) 375-2985. Periodical postage paid at Little Rock, Arkansas, and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to ARKANSAS TIMES, P.O. Box 34010, Little Rock, AR, 72203. Subscription prices are $42 for one year, $78 for two years. Subscriptions outside Arkansas are $49 for one year, $88 for two years. Foreign (including Canadian) subscriptions are $168 a year. For subscriber service call (501) 375-2985.

Current single-copy price is 75¢, free in Pulaski County. Single issues are available by mail at $2.50 each, postage paid. Payment must accompany all single-copy orders. Reproduction or use in whole or in part of the contents without the written consent of the publishers is prohibited. Manuscripts and artwork will not be returned or acknowledged unless sufficient return postage and a self-addressed stamped envelope are included. All materials are handled with due care; however, the publisher assumes no responsibility for care and safe return of unsolicited materials. All letters sent to ARKANSAS TIMES will be treated as intended for publication and are subject to ARKANSAS TIMES’ unrestricted right to edit or to comment editorially.

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FOR INFORMATION OR SUBSCRIPTIONS CALL 501-375-2985

Motorvating

along

Third

Street toward downtown the other day, The Observer fell in behind the Google Steetview car. If you’ve been trapped in a shipping container since 2001, Google Streetview is the service on Google. com in which — with a few clicks of the mouse — you can see a curbside photograph of most any spot on most any public street in most any city in the country. The Google Streetview car — a sporty compact with a beachball-sized pack of cameras atop a mast on the roof and a WHOPR supercomputer-grade wad of hardware and storage inside — is the mechanism by which those pictures find their way to the Internet. The car trolls up and down each and every lane, circle, drive, boulevard, place and street, with cameras whirring. Even in a smaller city like Little Rock, that’s a heck of a lot of driving when you think about it. Only in America could we dream up something simultaneously so odd and artful.

Yeah, seeing a stalkerific picture of The Observatory on the Internet was a little creepy at first, but we’re a fan of Streetview now. Too, everybody else’s house is on there as well, which makes getting bent out of shape about the privacy aspect of Streetview kinda like getting mad that your name is in the phonebook (or used to be in the phonebook, anyway.

Also: Kids, a “phonebook” was a paper book with alphabetized lists of everybody’s name, address and phone number in it. Check Wikipedia).

Though The Observer knows better than to mess with a man when he’s workin’, we’re enough of a geek that we couldn’t help but tail the car for a few blocks. To be that close to a piece of rolling pop culture was kinda thrilling for an old geezer; borne of the same reason we still get excited when we see the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile parked somewhere (we’ve got several plastic Wienermobile whistles at home. Want one?).

Too, we must admit we had an ulterior motive. While The Observer treasures our anonymity, let’s just say that if you were to look at the streets around Ringo and Third once the new Streetview maps for Little Rock come out, you might see a certain incognito idiot smiling and waving through the front windshield of a dirty white van. That gleam in the driver’s eye? A dream of Internet immortality — or at least what passes for immortality in

this fleeting age.

For two weeks in July, 48 middle school students — 24 boys, 24 girls — went to a sleepaway camp that offered no sports and few recreational activities of any kind. They were not in the great outdoors. Instead, these kids, between the ages of 10 and 14, were camped at UALR, engineering structures to withstand earthquakes.

These campers — up at 6:30 a.m.

— took classes not in knot-tying but engineering design, physical science, math, English, chemistry and technology. They got to shoot off rockets in the evenings.

They met with astronaut Bernard Harris, the first African-American man in space.

The Observer watched as UALR professor Amin Akhnoukh gave a demonstration on concrete strength testing, deep in the bowels of the Engineering and Information Technology.

A concrete cylinder that would hold the same level of stress as an entire bridge was placed in a whirring machine and the campers, who by this point were crowded around with digital cameras, were told to step back to prevent from getting hit by debris. The popping noise at 45,000 lbs. of pressure made a few people jump but seemed decidedly anticlimactic. The crumbling cylinder was passed around, and everyone got to take home a hunk of broken concrete.

The Observer visited an English class, where the campers studied, with a less than enthusiastic eye, the mysteries of pronounantecedent agreement. They would have to write up reports on their earthquakeproof structures, after all. They perked up when they heard their teacher refer to grammatical errors she sees on Facebook.

The teacher had a Facebook account?

At lunch, The Observer talked to a couple of the students. Brandon told us that he appreciated the laid-back teaching style and the field trips to places like the Mid American Science Museum. Omarri lamented the long hours, but conceded that he was enjoying the experience too. The main topic of anguish was the counselors.

Counselors were described as “sassy” and “strict at nighttime.” But they weren’t homesick, the campers said, and there was another bonus: the boys pointed to a group of girls and named the ones they liked.

Future engineers, but interested in other things, too. www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 5

Letters arktimes@arktimes.com

In response to an item in the Aug. 3 “To-Do List” that referenced a PETA video of Ringling Bros. employees using bull-hooks to train elephants:

Ringling Bros. priority is the animals

For our handlers, trainers, vet techs and veterinarians the health and comfort of all of our animals is priority number one. That fact is evidenced by the resources we dedicate to our animal care — $6 million annually on animal care with more than $60,000 a year dedicated to each elephant.

Further, Ringling Bros. is a world leader in the care and conservation of the endangered Asian elephant. That commitment is demonstrated by the creation in 1995 of the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Center for Elephant Conservation in Florida, which is a state-of-the-art facility dedicated to the reproduction, research and retirement of Asian elephants.

Ringling Bros. animal handlers share information and work closely with federal, state, and local officials to ensure that Ringling Bros. maintains the highest quality animal care practices and operates under a zerotolerance policy as relates to any employee engaging in behavior that does not meet or exceed current federal animal welfare standards outlined in the Animal Welfare Act. Ringling Bros. is subject to comprehensive animal welfare regulations at the federal, state and local levels. In more than 40 years of current ownership, Ringling Bros. has never been found in violation of the Animal Welfare Act for abuse, neglect or mistreatment of its animals. In fact, in all aspects of animal care and safety, Ringling Bros. meets or exceeds all federal animal welfare standards.

Crystal Drake, Regional Public Relations Manager Feld Entertainment

Use race in reporting The Democrat-Gazette’s use of racial information in its “Police Beat” column (“Not so black and white,” Aug. 3) is an excellent policy, and I hope [deputy editor Frank] Fellone persists. Too many journalists today arbitrarily decide what the public should know, instead of simply providing what the public wants to know.

When I read a crime story in a paper I immediately want to know race. In a perfect world race wouldn’t be the first thing to pop into my head, but we don’t live in a perfect world and I want to know.

This is such a simple concept, and yet so many journalists are afraid of giving offense by simply reporting facts, and they decide that the public just does not need to know what the public wants to know.

6 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

I suspect this is because nearly all journalists really, deep in their collective hearts, believe in two things. First, that they can change the world through their journalism, and that if they simply ignore the fact that some ethnic groups are more prone to crime than others that perhaps that fact will simply fade away. Secondly, they know deep down that they are far more intelligent than their reader or viewer, and have no trouble believing that their mission is to give the audience just the news that the journalist feels the audience can understand or will accept.

Journalists at least used to be somewhat subtle about these two issues, but now their disregard for the intelligence of their audi-

ence and their contempt for simple factbased reporting is blatant in the extreme, and is playing a major role in the massive changes sweeping the news industry in this country today.

Stephen Taylor Austin, Texas

Where’s the justice?

A few weeks ago the militant who killed one recruiting sergeant and wounded another cut a deal to spend the rest of his life in a federal prison where he will have free medical and dental care, three balanced meals each day plus at least one snack.

He will have access to TV, internet, exer-

R

VICTIM INFORMATION AND NOTIFICATION EVERYDAY

cise equipment, free education, and free use of the prison grounds to walk around.

In addition he will have a free library and office supplies. Meanwhile, at least 4,750 ex-GI’s from the Iraqi and Afghan war who are armless, legless, mentally impaired, jobless and lack skills for a job will sleep homelessly under bridges, in alleys, cars, abandoned buildings and in the woods. Where is the justice for these men and women? The United States prison system will spend more in one year on this killer, than it would take to house most of these ex-GI’s.

I have to say I am ashamed for our government and saddened that our heroes are treated as if they do not count.

Frank Adams DeQueen

Aiding Clinton and Sheen Your July 27 article on Kris Engskov, who was President Clinton’s travel aide, or “body man,” brought to mind the farewell party that I attended on the White House lawn for Engskov back in 2000. At one point in the event, a senior White House staffer (I think Sandy Berger) was going on and on and on about what a great president’s aide Kris was, and said, “How can we ever replace him?” A young man walked up to the group, and said, “I think I can handle the job.” That young man was actor Dule Hill, who played Charlie Young, the president’s aide on “West Wing”. No doubt he could have handled the job, since he lasted on the TV show for about twice as long as Kris did in real life. But, again no doubt, it was probably far easier to handle Martin Sheen than Bill Clinton.

Charlie Cole Oakton, Va. (and formerly, Magnolia, Ark.)

Crawford’s poll

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We recently received Congressman Rick Crawford’s “Seniors Update,” which contained a “please respond Medicare Survey.” Its three choices on “My feelings on Medicare are” are “It works for me, but I understand it needs to change,” “Medicare does not meet my needs.” and “I am not on Medicare.”

Does this mean that Congressman Crawford has no one on staff who can design a meaningful survey, or is he planning to announce the percentage of folks who responded with one of the first two as support for his position? It also would be good if his staff learned the difference between “feelings” and “beliefs.”

It makes you wonder if there’s a limit to Republican dirty tricks in their effort to privatize and end Medicare.

Mark Tew and Linda Boulton Calico Rock

Double-talk On July 26, there was a piece in the Democrat Gazette entitled, “N.Y. group sues over marriage law.” What is described as an advocacy group formed by pastors who want to overturn New

York’s Marriage Equality Act, which allows gay people to be married.

The name of this group is New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms. What?

Are you kidding me? They form a group to deprive other Americans of the Freedoms they are guaranteed by the Constitution, and call it New Yorkers for Constitutional Freedoms.

Are these people insane or do they work for Rupert Murdoch? Only Murdoch’s Nazi machine could come up with a name for an organization that clearly is double talk.

The Constitution provides protection for all Americans regardless of race, religion or sexual orientation.

The gay rights movement is the new Civil Rights movement in America.

What we need is education to eliminate ignorance, prejudice and pastors like these idiots.

Butch Stone Maumelle

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26th Annual Catfish Dinner & Bake Sale Saturday, auguSt 20, 2011 • 4 - 6:30pm Gardner Memorial United Methodist Church 1723 Schaer Street, North Little Rock 72114 Tickets: Adult $12 each, Child (Age 4 - 12): $5.00 each Advance purchase of tickets strongly encouraged.

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Jaipur Collection

From the Internet In response to Mayor Mark Stodola’s press conference about the proposed Little Rock sales tax increases: I’m an activist who serves on a commission and I’m familiar with the budgeting process. I’ve paid close attention to the City’s coffers during the last three years and it’s quite insulting to come and scare folks. How much sense does it make to get stimulus funding to build a fire station when you don’t have staff in place for operations? How much sense does it make to get stimulus funding to hire new officers and firefighters when you don’t have a “vision” to keep them on board? I wonder how many board/ commissioner members who attended yesterday’s conference have contracts with the CITY? — John Carter I live in a Little Rock neighborhood where most of the streets are inadequately paved, no curbs and gutters, and no sidewalks. It is one of Little Rock’s “finer” neighborhoods. Could it be that executives of businesses looking to relocate notice these ghetto-like conditions and move to a city with excellent leadership that gets things done to make life better for its citizens? They can get corporate handouts anywhere from any city.

But they relocate to cities which value the quality of life and good city services. Using the slush fund for even better police and fire, parks and recreation, and infrastructure would make a lot more sense and entice a lot more businesses.

Come back later with a specific bond issue to build the port and research park.

— Cecil Submit letters to The Editor, Arkansas Times, P.O. Box 34010, Little Rock, AR 72203.

Rock Tradition.

Look for us on Facebook

TRUNK SHOW: Friday & Saturday April 15-16

www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 7

THE WEEK THAT WAS AUG. 3-AUG. 9 IT WAS A GOOD WEEK FOR...

HEAT. Little Rock topped out at 114 degrees last Wednesday, the hottest temperature ever recorded in the capital city. North Little Rock, Pine Bluff, Harrison and Hot Springs also reached record highs.

The Arkansas Reporter

Phone: 501-375-2985­ Fax: 501-375-3623 Arkansas Times Online home page: http://www.arktimes.com E-mail: arktimes@arktimes.com ■

■­

■

RANDY WAGNER. The Grubbs man won $1 million playing Powerball. He said he plans to multiply his winnings through wise investment.

JOHNNY CASH’S LEGACY. The inaugural Johnny Cash Music Festival was a sell-out last Thursday.

With performers like Rosanne Cash, Kris Kristofferson and George Jones, the event raised $310,000 to restore Cash’s boyhood home in Dyess. Read a review on page 18.

ARKANSAS FILM. Reps for Little Rock-born Jeff Nichols said the directing talent plans to shoot his third film in Arkansas this fall, with, according to press reports, Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon starring. Nichols is hoping to fill another crucial role with an Arkansas teen-ager. More on page 19.

IT WAS A BAD WEEK FOR...

FINANCIAL MARKETS. In the wake of S&P’s downgrade of the United States’ credit rating, the Dow lost 634 points, the sixth worst decline in its history and the largest drop since the 2008 financial crisis.

KEVIN LEWIS. The former Little Rock attorney pled guilty to a $47 million bank fraud scheme in federal district court.

CARGILL. The meat giant recalled 36 million pounds of ground turkey after officials found a potential link between meat produced in a plant based in Springdale and a salmonella outbreak, which has affected people in 26 states, but at press time, no one in Arkansas.

MIKE HUCKABEE. The Huckster suggested Donald Trump should replace Timothy Geithner as Treasury secretary, and just in time for the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11, released a new history-obscuring cartoon DVD as part of his “Learn Our History” series about the attacks and the subsequent war on terror. It can be yours for only $9.95!

8 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

AHEAD OF THE PACK: St. Vincent Health System broke ground on its new campus at Rahling Road and Chenal Boulevard last January.

Westward, hospital City growth driving hospital expansions.

BY LESLIE NEWELL PEACOCK

n Looking to capture out-patient business in the city’s fastest-growing (and wealthiest) neighborhoods, hospitals are moving to build facilities in West Little Rock at ambulance pace. St. Vincent Infirmary will get there first, with a new medical office building that will house primary and urgent (but not emergency) care on a new $47 million campus at Chenal Parkway and Rahling Road. The University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences and Baptist Health are right behind; UAMS will build on 11.3 acres at Rodney Parham Road and state Hwy. 10, and Baptist has bought 21 acres at Hwy. 10 and Chenal.

That hospitals are investing millions of dollars at a time when nearly 20 percent of Arkansans can’t afford health insurance and when insurance plans are moving patients out of the hospital with catheters trailing seems counter-intuitive. Are hospitals in position to expand because we are paying such high premiums to insurers, who in turn pay hospitals?

It’s not that simple, hospital managers say. They say there’s little correlation between reimbursements hospitals negotiate with insurance companies and the

premiums insurance companies negotiate with buyers, and that because the cost of hospital expansion is paid for over long periods of time, the dollars don’t come from today’s patients.

Another question — for the distant future — is whether hospitals will follow their out-patient services west, to the detriment of mid-town hospitals. There is a trend nationwide for hospitals to invest in outpatient centers in affluent suburbs.

The city of Cleveland has sued Cleveland Clinic over its decision to shut down Huron Hospital, one of the city’s oldest hospitals, located in an area of declining population.

The University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences has too much real estate and investment in its campus and “centers of excellence” to contemplate in-patient relocation. Baptist Health — which already is west, by some lights, on Kanis Road — is in the midst of a $110 million capital campaign to renovate the hospital.

But St. Vincent Health, owned by Catholic Health Initiatives, whose West Little Rock campus is only two acres shy of St. Vincent Infirmary’s, may one day build a hospital out west, though not

any time soon. The campus has “capacity to expand to in-patient beds,” said Tad Richard, vice president of business development for St. Vincent Infirmary, though he added that not all procedures would move to a new hospital.

UAMS says that by building near I-430, it will attract not just patients from West Little Rock but all parts of Central Arkansas. That patient population should leap in 2014 when the health care reform act rules on insurance go into effect.

UAMS expects 250,000 Arkansans who were previously uninsured and unlikely to see a doctor will become insured.

UAMS paid $3.65 million from its surplus fund — which derives from clinic revenues (about 75 percent of UAMS income) — for the acreage on Hwy. 10. Developing a facility there will cost “tens of millions,” director of managed care and business development R.T. Fendley said. “We have a lot more vision than we have capital,” Fendley said; on the other hand, he said, “we need growth to be financially healthy.” UAMS will hire consultants to look at debt capacity and what services should take priority at its new campus before building.

UAMS also sees an advantage to putting clinical offices off campus. Getting from point A to point B on UAMS’ main campus is “complicated,” Fendley said (though the hospital is working on ways to alleviate that). Taking “primary care, patient education, early diagnosis and

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treatment out to the community — that fits better outside of main campus than it does here,” he said.

UAMS also plans to open a small primary care clinic in rented space on Chenal after the first of the year. But Fendley says “competition didn’t play a role for us” in its plans to expand, and he expects the payer mix to be the same out west as it is now — 40 percent Medicare, 30 percent private pay, about 20 percent Medicaid and the rest uncompensated.

Fendley said UAMS has been planning a westward expansion since 2004.

With population declining in the southern and eastern parts of the city but rising by double digits in the west, “it makes sense to us we ought to be placed where we can be attractive.”

St. Vincent’s Richard said the family practice clinic it operates on Rahling Road will move to its new medical campus, which is southwest of the Promenade at Chenal. An urgent care center to problems that don’t rise to emergency room needs will be open after hours and on weekends. In spring, a satellite of the Longevity Center will open at the West Little Rock campus, and an ambulatory surgery center and radiology out-patient services will be added later in 2012.

More services will be added over time; the hospital has been talking to cardiologists about “their future desires to more closely align,” said Jonathan Timmis, chief strategy officer at St. Vincent Health System. Such hospital-doctor partnerships are expected to increase as reforms in Medicare reimbursement and other payments are enacted.

Because St. Vincent posted a loss of $26 million at the end of its fiscal year last year, its investment of $47 million in the western campus has raised some questions. Richard said last year’s loss was due to an accounting entry that wrote off St. Vincent’s investment in Doctor’s Hospital building, which St. Vincent will exit in June of next year.

The hundreds of thousands of newly insured that the health care reform act would theoretically create didn’t figure much into St. Vincent’s plans, Richard said, and Baptist Health said the same.

Baptist has been eyeing the acreage it bought — the land is opposite the Walmart at Chenal and Hwy. 10 — for 10 years, CEO Russell Harrington said.

Baptist paid $7.9 million for the land in June. Harrington said a study Baptist Health had showing that the land was “the best location on the west side of town” created “urgency” to purchase the land.

Though Baptist Health, the third largest private employer in Arkansas, could build a hospital out there, Harrington said, it’s more likely to be the location of “an array of different types” of clinical services.

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BRIAN CHILSON

THE GOLD STANDARD Raising goldfish by the numbers.

I

f you got a goldfish anywhere in America in the past 10 years, Danny Pool figures, there’s about an 80 percent chance it belonged to him

first.

No, that’s not a typo. Eighty percent.

And yes, when we say anywhere, we mean anywhere: Phoenix, Key West, Bangor, Juneau, the pet store down on the corner or a goldfish in a bag won by tossing a ping-pong ball into a bowl at the county fair.

With his brother Ronnie, Pool runs Pool Fisheries, just outside of Lonoke.

There, on 1,150 acres of ponds cut into the cardboard-flat earth, the third-generation fish farmer rides herd over one of the largest goldfish ranches in the world, shipping, trucking and air-freighting between 3.5 million to 5 million tailfins per week depending on the season. Pool Fisheries is FedEx’s largest customer in Arkansas, flying out 50,000 to 60,000 pounds of fish every week to cities in the West. They’re the exclusive supplier to the more than 1,000 stores in the

10 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

Petsmart chain, and — via wholesalers — they supply the vast majority of the fish found at big retailers like Walmart.

Looking into one of their holding tanks is to see life on a massive scale, and is maybe even a little stunning for someone used to seeing a solitary goldfish in a bowl. Pool has every part of it down to a science.

It was Pool’s grandfather, Ruben Pool, who started the company. One of the early pioneers of the fish farming industry in Lonoke County (along with men like I.F. “Fay” Anderson — who Danny Pool calls the grandfather of aquaculture in Arkansas — Euell Nixon and Tony Carruth), Ruben Pool helped build the first state fish hatcheries in Arkansas during the Great Depression.

“That’s where he learned,” Danny Pool said, “as far as putting in the drainage system, putting in the water system and building the levees.”

After a stint building submarines at a California shipyard during World War II,

Ruben Pool came back to Arkansas and worked building grain dryers. He eventually bought a 40-acre farm outside of Lonoke and started digging fish ponds, utilizing the chain-driven bucket pans that had been brought in to build levees for the rice industry.

By then, the fish farming industry in the area was already becoming established. Though Danny Pool’s account is bound to be controversial among the fish farming families in Lonoke County, he pins the credit for creating the minnow industry in Lonoke County on Euell Nixon, a rice farmer and avid fisherman who eventually became one of the county’s largest minnow producers. At the time, Pool said, Nixon was just looking for more lively bait.

“Back in that time, most of your fishermen would trap wild minnows out of the river,” Pool said. “They weren’t very good. They wouldn’t live very long.

Euell Nixon, being a fishing enthusiast — he loved to fish — he heard that the minnows at the hatchery that they were

BRIAN CHILSON

BY DAVID KOON

POOL: At the perfect place. using were much better than the wild minnows out of the river ... they were the best fishing bait you could find.”

One day, Pool said, after a hatchery had drained its ponds and left a school of minnows in a ditch, Nixon drove there, dipped up a bucketful, and put them in a rice field irrigation canal on his property. They spawned there, and anytime he wanted to go fishing, Nixon would net out a few. Word soon got around about Nixon’s tough, hearty minnows, which had spawned by the millions in the rice canals, and he started selling them. Soon, he was making more money from fish than he was from farming.

“In Euell’s mind,” Pool said, “he thought, ‘Instead of growing rice, I need to build ponds.’ ” Soon, Nixon was sell-

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and goldfish have remained steady or gained a little ground. Though competition between artificial lures and live bait will largely determine where the minnow and goldfish market will go in the future, for now farmers in the state are doing more with less.

“We have fewer acres [being used for ponds],” Engle said, “but what’s happened is that farms have become more efficient with new technologies and so they’re raising, I believe, more fish on fewer acres.”

Engle agrees with Danny Pool that Lonoke County is pretty much perfect for aquaculture in terms of the quality of the soil, climate and water. In addition, Engle notes, I-40 runs right through the center of the county, allowing fish to be shipped easily. As a bonus, that area in particular has over the years spawned and attracted plenty of fish farmers willing to take risks and break the mold.

“For some reason, Arkansas seems to have produced more than its share of leaders — insightful, resourceful, imaginative entrepreneurs in the industry,” she said.

ing his minnows as far away as Memphis. Others soon moved to the area, convinced it was the Promised Land for fish. It may well be. Pool contends that Lonoke County is to fish farming what Kentucky is to thoroughbreds.

“This is the best hatching area as far as water, soil, alkalinity, PH,” Pool said. “It’s perfect — conditions are perfect right in the middle of Lonoke County. That’s why all the fish industry is here. If you go too far east, it’s not as good. Too far south, it’s not good at all... weather has a lot to do with it. We’re at the perfect [place] as

far as longitude and latitude.”

Pool Fisheries officially started in 1959, raising mostly minnows and catfish. Eventually, Danny Pool said, a lot of other farmers got into the minnow business in the area, saturating the market. Ruben and his son Lon (Danny’s father) decided to try farming something else, focusing on raising goldfish and Israeli carp. By the 1960s, the Pool Fisheries ponds were supplying about a third of the goldfish market in the U.S. — around four to five million fish a year, with most of Continued on page 12

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“Our industry in Arkansas is more interesting in a lot of respects because it’s not just catfish,” Engle said. “It includes all goldfish production, baitfish production, hybrid striped bass and all the other types of fish we raise in Arkansas.”

Engle said that a scheduled government census of the state’s aquaculture industry was postponed last year due to federal budget cuts, but 10 years ago — the most recent numbers available — fish farming in Arkansas was bringing in more than $170 million a year. Catfish production has faded since then (fish production in the state used to be split 50/50 between non-edible breeds and catfish, Engle said, but catfish have since slipped to around 25 percent of total output), but Engle said her feeling is that sales of baitfish

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those being sold as pets.

The market was fairly steady until the 1970s, when things took off in a big, big way. The jump, Danny Pool said, came with the advent of modern saltwater aquariums, which provided Northern city dwellers both nighttime entertainment in an age of three television channels and — due to expensive and rare varieties of reef fish — a very visible way to show off their

wealth to houseguests.

“People up there can’t have dogs and cats,” he said, “because they’re in real small apartments. So you have a choice: bird, snake or fish.”

How do saltwater aquariums have anything to do with selling more freshwater goldfish? If you ever loved a goldfish in your youth, you might want to skip over this next part. “They were going for live

food to feed these saltwater fish,” Pool said. “They were selling these people really fancy aquariums, selling them fish for $100 or $200 apiece. They’d take them home and put them in their tank, and guess what? [Saltwater fish] won’t eat fish food.

There’s no fish food in the ocean. The only thing these fish will eat is another fish.”

The cheapest food in any given pet store was one-to-two inch goldfish, which

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sold for around a penny apiece. Within a five-year period in the 1970s, Pool Fisheries went from eight ponds of goldfish to 50, and went from selling around five million fish a year to 350 million a year just 10 years later. Around 75 percent of those went for fish food, with a luckier 25 percent becoming pets.

After booming throughout the 1970s and ’80s, the goldfish market began to taper off in the mid-1990s. Pool blames the slowdown on the same thing that’s been blamed for the decline in sales of everything from daily newspapers to trampolines: the personal computer, and the rise of the Internet.

“During the ’80s, most people only had three television stations, they only had maybe four or five radio stations,” Pool said. “So, at night, they enjoyed watching their fish. That was part of their entertainment. Then computers came out. You got AOL, and the computers started getting faster. As the computer technology got better and better, people started spending more time on computers and less time messing with their aquarium ... Now, if they want to see fish, they just put it on their screensaver.”

Currently, Pool Fisheries ships around 5 million fish per week, but gets down as low as 3.5 million some weeks. They’ve also diversified, raising not only goldfish, but also albino fathead minnows (as the name implies, more white than the standard silvery-gray fathead), rosy red minnows (a slender, pinkish-white breed) and other species. A whole wing of their warehouse is dedicated to growing “fancy” fish and other species, like tadpoles (for schools and research), fantail goldfish (with fat bodies and blousy, flowing tails), Black Moors (a bug-eyed, charcoal-colored variety with sweeping fins), koi (the larger, multicolored, carplike fish seen tranquilly swimming in Japanese paintings) and other specialty breeds.

For his part, Danny Pool has diversified as well. For the last three years, he’s been running a music publishing company in Nashville called Blue Guitar Music.

Once on his way to an early grave, he said, due to too much stress and a bad diet, he became something of a health nut, and now helps market a vitamin supplement.

He’s an avid scuba diver. He also runs a duck club management service, planting feed crops around duck clubs and maintaining the wetlands there in the off-season for out of town landowners.

While Pool said the market for fish is still fairly good, it continues to trend Continued on page 14

for Fall

TIPS FROM THE PRO Hints on keeping your goldfish belly-down and happy.

While goldfish are some of the hardiest creatures in the world, able to withstand an unbelievable amount of neglect and abuse without ill effect, they aren’t indestructible. Here’s Pool’s pro tips for amateur goldfish keepers.

1) DON’T USE CITY WATER STRAIGHT FROM THE TAP Fish don’t like chlorinated water. “There isn’t any fish in the world that can live in our drinking water,” he said.

Because of that, Pool recommends using either well water or tap water that has been treated with one of the pet store-available purifying chemicals, then allowed to sit for a day — preferably while being aerated with an air bubbler.

2) YOUR MOTHER WAS RIGHT And wrong. It actually IS possible to feed a goldfish so much that he dies, but he probably won’t croak from gluttony. It’s the ammonia. “When you pour feed in there, he has to consume it,” Pool said. “And

then he has to excrete it, and now he’s swimming in that ... if [the waste content] gets too high, then the ammonia goes way up in the tank and he’s killed by the toxic ammonia.” In general, Pool said, goldfish only need to be fed two to three times a week, and then just the barest pinch of food per fish will do.

3) HANDS OFF Like most fish, goldfish are shielded from disease, bacteria and parasites by a protective layer of slime that coats their bodies. If you touch or disturb the fish too much, you can rub off this slimy shield and open him up to infection.

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is a phenomenon he has watched happen over decades, and it becomes a choke point when you have to spawn and grow 300 million temperature-persnickety fish a year.

“I definitely believe in global warming,” Pool said. “I’ve seen it change over the period of my lifetime. You can ask anybody who is a farmer who has been farming for years. The weather is totally different than what it used to be.” This year, Pool said, Lonoke County spent a total of two days at a temperature that a person of his grandfather’s era would have considered “spring.”

“Our water went from too cold to spawn at about 68 degrees to almost too warm to spawn at 76 degrees in a matter of 48 hours,” he said. “We used to have six weeks of spring. Now we have less than a week on average.”

Since 1993, Pool Fisheries has been preparing for a warmer world. That year, they started pumping well water through their ponds in the spring to keep them at the 72 degrees required to get goldfish to spawn. In 2000, they built an indoor

BRIAN CHILSON

downward. He insisted that his son — now on track to be the fourth generation owner of the family business — get a college degree as buffer against hard times.

“I tried to talk my son into doing something other than farming,” Pool said.

“He’s got a business degree, and he could be a CPA, he could do a lot of different things. He loves farming. He wants to farm. That’s OK. My agreement is, you get a degree just for backup and I’ll let you farm.”

Many local fish farmers are branching out into different species. Pool himself has looked into growing something like tilapia or crawfish. Still, he’s a realist, and has prepared himself for a time when Pool Fisheries might not be what it once was.

“I think the next generation will be fine,” he said. “But I think after that is probably going to be it. It might support one family, but I don’t know if it’ll support two.”

In addition to the cooling market, another thing working against Pool Fisheries is the warming climate. Arkansas doesn’t have the cool springs it once enjoyed, Pool said. The gradual warming

NOW SHIPPING FIVE MILLION A WEEK: It used to be more. hatchery where water temperature could be controlled. In 2002, they built concrete spawning vats for the same reason. It’s enough to make Pool worry a bit about the fate of the planet.

“Fish are kind of like the canary in the mine,” he said. “They’re the warning. When they don’t have a long enough spring to spawn, that tells you the climate is changing tremendously.”

For the time being, things are on a fairly even keel for Danny Pool. He spends a lot of time away from the farm with his other pursuits, including travelling to far-flung places around the world to scuba dive.

HOW IT WORKS The chain of events that brings a goldfish to your bowl.

E

very 14 to 21 days, depending on water temperature, special, larger, brood stock goldfish are seined from an outdoor brood pond. Goldfish can begin to spawn at between two and three years old.

During their time in the brood ponds, eggs have been growing inside the females — between 5,000 and 10,000 pencil-lead-sized eggs per fish.

The brood stock are placed in concrete spawning tanks, with the water carefully regulated to 72 degrees; the optimal temperature for them to spawn. After dark, the water level in the tanks is lowered to around two and a half inches for spawning (they have to do it after dark, Pool said, because goldfish will sunburn in shallow water in the daytime).

On the floor of the spawning tanks are “spawning mats” — thick three-foot-square pads, made from the same wiry material used in home air-conditioning filters, to mimic grass. The mats are black so the eggs on them will be easier to see, and are sandwiched between pieces of heavy wire grid.

Using their “whiskers” — rough, cat-tongue-like patches on their cheeks (this is how you can tell a male from a female, along with the female’s rounder belly) — several male goldfish gang up to push a female onto the spawning mat, where she releases her eggs. The males then release their sperm to fertilize the eggs. The eggs adhere to the mat. During the peak of spawning season

14 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

in the spring, each mat can eventually hold 50,000 to 100,000 eggs.

Once the eggs have been laid and fertilized, the brood stock go back to their brood pond, while the egg-covered spawning mats go to oxygenated, temperature-controlled tubs, each about the size of a washing machine, in an indoor hatchery. Fingerling goldfish will hatch within two to three days, with 750,000 to a million fish per tub. All baby goldfish are black when they first hatch as natural protection against predators. Until they are around two weeks old, even touching the fingerlings with a net will kill them. When they’re large enough, the fish are removed from the tubs via a standpipe system, which drains each tub down to five gallons of water, and then moves the fish and water at the same time through a hose.

From there, the fish are transferred to outdoor ponds to grow up. Around 80 percent of the hatched fish won’t survive to be shipped. “Generally about 50 percent survive from the hatch. You lose half,” Pool said. “The rest of them are lost either to disease or depredation from birds, snakes, turtles, frogs, crawfish. They’re a feeder fish. The reason they’re a great feeder fish is that everything in the world preys on them and eats them. They’re not very smart. They’ll literally swim into a snake’s mouth.”

While being held in the outdoor ponds, the number of fish in each pond is carefully regulated to the point where the uninitiated might consider them overcrowded. That’s

If he doesn’t have a lot of time to kill, he generally doesn’t tell people what he does for a living.

“People ask me what I do,” he said, “and when I tell them, generally there’s 15 to 20 people in a circle asking me questions. I don’t care where I go, anywhere in the world, it fascinates people. I’m not bragging or anything. I’m just telling you: If I’m not in the mood to talk for an hour or two, I don’t dare tell people what I do, because it’s an hour and a half conversation.”

See video from Pool Fisheries at arktimes.com/goldfish.

because, Pool said, when a goldfish is in a crowded environment, hormones in the fish’s brain make his body stop growing. Amazingly, while a one-inch goldfish can stay a one-inch goldfish for years or even decades in a small bowl, if you take him out of that tiny bowl and put him in a huge aquarium, the hormones kick in, and he can grow up to 18 inches long within a few years (before you get the idea of pan-seared Goldie, Pool said he doesn’t recommend eating goldfish no matter what size they are, as they’re much too bony). In order to hold the fish at the one-to-two inch and two-to-three inch sizes preferred by wholesalers, Pool Fisheries carefully controls fish density in their ponds.

When they have reached maturity, the goldfish are seined out of the pond and transferred to an indoor warehouse in preparation for being shipped. Just before shipping, salt is introduced to the water to cause the fish to purge all their waste. While some of the goldfish are shipped via air-freight in insulated boxes (most of the fish headed to stores and suppliers on the West Coast travel this way), more than one million at a time are loaded onto tractor-trailer rigs with dozens of individual tanks on the back and an onboard oxygenation system. For all fish that are shipped out, whether by truck or air, the temperature of the water in each box or tank is carefully regulated by way of ice or cold packs to closely resemble temperature at the ZIP code where the fish are going, to keep their systems from going into shock when they’re unloaded.

Fish going to Arizona, for example, might get two ice packs, while those going to Wisconsin might just get chilled water.

Like I said: They’ve got it down to a science.

— David Koon

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EYE ON ARKANSAS

Editorial n Conservatives who claim to love the Constitution are forever wanting to change the Constitution. One might almost question the sincerity of their affection.

Congressional Republicans have tried repeatedly — and will again — to limit free speech by means of an amendment that would allow Congress to ban the burning or other “desecration” of the American flag. They would let Michele Bachmann rewrite James Madison, and they’ve won House of Representatives approval of this proposal on several occasions.

Fortunately, a more sober-minded, Democratic-majority Senate has declined go along.

The Tea Baggers have barrels of bad ideas and one of the worst is their balanced-budget amendment, but since the Baggers run the Republican Party now, this scheme too gets taken seriously. The proposed amendment would require a balanced federal budget every year, cap federal spending at 18 percent of gross domestic product, prohibit any tax increase without a two-thirds majority of Congress, and prohibit any increase in the national debt without a three-fifths majority.

If the amendment was adopted, the government would be unable to respond to emergency, whether military invasion, natural disaster or economic downtown. The central government was paralyzed just that way under the Articles of Confederation, and that was a big reason for the adoption of the Constitution — so that the government could raise revenue. The Founders considered and rejected restraints such as those now urged by right-wing radicals. (Who are not strong on American history, obviously. One of the Republican presidential candidates, Herman Cain, confused the Constitution with the Declaration of Independence throughout a speech announcing his candidacy. Bachmann and Sarah Palin have demonstrated broad ignorance of America’s past too.)

Texas Gov. Rick Perry, yet another spooky Republican presidential hopeful, has announced his support of a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriages nationwide. Though Perry purports to believe in states’ rights, he’d strip states of the right to legalize same-sex marriages, as a few of them have done.

Perry may actually see more in the Constitution that he doesn’t like than he does. Certainly the business about separating church and state can’t sit well with him. Just last weekend he was hosting what he called a national day of prayer in Houston, he and like-minded others praying and preaching up a storm. All this was done in partnership with the fundamentalist American Family Association, a Tupelo, Miss., group that opposes abortion and gay rights and believes that the First Amendment’s freedom of religion applies only to Christians.

The U.S. Constitution, that noble document, must be protected from friends such as Perry and his kind. It barely survived the last Texas president.

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16 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

SHANNON FRAZEUR

Fatal attraction

COOL DOWN: Children receive a much-needed respite from the heat at Riverfront Park in Little Rock. Highs are forecasted to remain in the 90s this week. Shannon Frazeur submitted this photo to our Eye On Arkansas Flickr webpage.

A tale of two taxes n The organized campaigns for and against the tax proposals to be voted on Sept. 13 by a small subset of Little Rock kicked off this past week. The pro-tax Committee for Little Rock’s Future emphasizes that “the penny” will go to “create a bold vision for Little Rock.” The group opposing the proposals calls them a “$500 million tax” and says that’s too much.

It’s smart politics to simplify the issue by hermetically connecting the issues, but the voters on Sept. 13 actually will cast two votes on two fundamentally different tax measures. Voters — the final legislators in this referendum — need to think about these taxes (and their impact on the city) individually. If they do so, more split tickets may be cast than either side expects — or wants.

The arguments for the second ballot item — a permanent 5/8-cent sales tax for operating expenses — are markedly stronger. The sales tax is an inherently regressive tax, but the state constitution sharply limits the revenue enhancement tools available to municipalities. Little Rock also is a special case because many suburbanites and tourists use city roads and services on a daily basis and would pay a decent share of the tax.

Whatever the problems of city government, there is simply no doubt that Little Rock needs more revenues for its current services and the mostly worthwhile new projects to be covered by the permanent tax. The opposition claims that this tax is too big, but does not argue that additional revenues aren’t needed.

The city’s inability to meet its contractual obligations to raise the pay of police and firefighters and the closure of alert centers in challenged neighborhoods a year ago will be nothing compared to the ugly budgeting process in the years ahead without new revenues.

If raised, the permanent sales tax will still be below many Arkansas cities that lack the complex issues facing the state’s largest city.

A rebuilding of trust between government and citizens, a plan to close race and class divides in the

Jay Barth city, and a sense that public schools in every part of the community work are all essential to propel the city forward. But, new revenue is fundamental for the city to progress.

The justification for the other ballot item — a 3/8cent tax that covers a variety of capital projects across its 10-year lifespan — is considerably weaker. Some of the projects to be funded by this tax (such as the new 12th Street police station) benefit poorer parts of the city, but more benefit wealthier West Little Rock and business interests. The city failed to pay for sprawl to the west with impact fees and now proposes that all of its citizens pay for new roads and firehouses in that area with this tax. As a result this tax plan is decidedly more regressive. While many of the “economic development” components in the proposal can most charitably be deemed “ill-defined,” other parts will indeed immediately create lower-wage (but essential) jobs that will benefit parts of the city facing enormous unemployment rates. The creation of needed jobs and a number of valuable services (goals markedly absent from the recent national economic debates) nudge me towards a “yes” on the 3/8-cent tax at this writing, but I continue to grapple with this second ballot item.

Thoughtful, progressive folks are front and center in both the pro- and anti-tax campaigns. It’s crucial for the city’s lawmakers — in this case the rank and file voters — to ask tough questions in the month ahead so that they make the right call on these two tax proposals.

Jay Barth is the M.E. and Ima Graves Peace Distinguished Professor of Politcs at Hendrix College.

SHANNON FRAZEUR

Can Bachmann beat Cheney? n We are on the cusp of discovering whether Michele Bachmann’s party can achieve what Dick Cheney’s could not, which is to induce a depression.

Cheney got us only as far as the 2008 financial collapse and what has become known as the Great Recession. It’s starting to look like Bachmann and her consorts on the far right can now take us all the way, to 1936 if not to 1929.

My nomenclature needs some explanation. Was it Cheney’s Republican party in the last decade or George W. Bush’s? I choose Cheney because, at least in the first five years of the Bush presidency, Cheney drove the economic and foreign-policy agenda. When Bush said he thought they had taken care of the nation’s richest in the first round of tax cuts in 2001, Cheney corrected him. More had to be done, the vice president said, and Bush acceded, as he always did until the veep fell out of favor over the Valerie Plame affair in late 2005.

When alarms were raised about the mushrooming budget deficits at a meeting of Bush’s economic team (his tax cuts and war spending had turned a $236 billion surplus in 2000 into a $158 billion deficit in only two years) it was Cheney who explained that President Reagan had proved that “deficits don’t matter” and that Bush shouldn’t worry about them either.

After all, Reagan had inherited an accumulated national debt of only $998 bil-

Ernest Dumas lion and his and the George H. W. Bush administrations hiked it to $4.4 trillion, but the sky didn’t fall. W. didn’t worry about it either, and in two more years they had swelled the annual deficit to $459 billion. Bush and Cheney handed off a debt of $11.5 trillion to their successor in 2009.

Cheney’s doctrine metamorphosed across the economic spectrum. Financial controls were shredded and everyone in America learned not to worry about debt — not the poorest homeowners, not the credit-rating agencies like Standard & Poor’s, and certainly not the banks or any of the other mortgage debt holders. When the inevitable collapse came in the winter of 2007-08, the United States was so heavily mortgaged and the political reaction so revolutionary that the country was left with no swift and sure way to address the crisis.

The traditional remedy of middle-class tax relief and jobs spending ended the free fall in eight months of the Obama presidency, but the economy had no reserve energy.

It limped along with anemic growth until the long hot summer of 2011, when the Republican Party, rejuvenated by the Tea Party victories in the 2010 congressional

elections, took over. Although it controlled only a third of the policy-making apparatus, it was enough to hold the country hostage.

But that recent history is stale news, or stale commentary.

To continue the analogy, Bachmann’s party could as easily be Paul Ryan’s party, Eric Cantor’s, Joe Barton’s, Jim DeMint’s or any of the other hard-eyed reactionaries who together have held the Republican Party, and the whole country, in thrall since spring. But it is Bachmann’s meteoric rise that has made her zany pronouncements the fixed doctrine of the party across Congress and the entire field of presidential aspirants.

They were ready to force national default and calamity in order to bring about the dismantling of environmental and banking regulation, Medicare, Social Security, Medicaid and the rest of the safety net for the elderly, disabled, sick, mentally ill, unemployed and everyone else but the squalidly rich.

Though Bachmann eventually voted against it — it didn’t go far enough toward making the U.S. an oligarchy — the debt agreement that her movement produced virtually assures that the country’s economic engine will be stymied until at least 2013, when the elections may have produced prospects for relief. The recession remedies available to every president since 1933 won’t be there for Obama this time.

The Republicans hold the cards.

Dick Cheney’s old allies were there last week to do their part for the second collapse, as they did for the first one in ’07-’08. Standard & Poor’s, which had given the highest grade to hundreds of billions in mortgage securities in the Bush era that were virtually certain to fail, downgraded the United States’ credit even after admitting that it had made a $2 trillion error in its calculations of discretionary spending growth. It helped trigger a historic selloff on Wall Street Monday as investors feared that ruthless government spending cuts next year would plunge the country back into recession, this one perhaps cataclysmic.

Even at that, the Tea Party economists were condemning a bit of uncharacteristic honesty by the credit-rating company.

Down in its analysis, S. & P. explained that it downgraded government debt once it realized that Republicans in Congress would never allow the Bush tax cuts on the rich to lapse, as they are scheduled to do in 2013. Without additional revenues — they are down close to $800 billion a year from tax cuts and the recession — there is no hope of closing the budget gap. The scholars at Cato Institute accused S. & P. of taking sides against the Bachmann party in the great economic war by subtly lobbying for the restoration of a modest tax rate on the super-wealthy.

If it did, no one else seems to have got the point.

These aren’t French impressionists; these are Hogs n Henceforth, if you get a hankering to try to make money by putting out merchandise adorned with the phrase “we didn’t come to paint,” you will need to get permission from the University of Arkansas athletic department, which probably will turn you down.

Like “woo pig, sooie” and the red Razorback logo its own self, this phrase now belongs officially and exclusively to the Hogs. It is now a licensed trademark of University of Arkansas athletics.

You can say it. You can even make your own T-shirt with the words on it. But you may not sell it. Only the Hogs may do that, and, trust me, they intend to do so this fall.

I asked Kevin Trainor, the UA’s associate athletic director for sports information, what the phrase meant, exactly. He said it meant we came to win the game, not to dilly-dally with some other activity.

I said I knew that. What I wondered was whether this phrase itself, from its literal genesis, meant painting a house or painting a picture. Trainor said that would be left to the eye of the beholder.

John Brummett jbrummett@arkansasnews.com

In my eye, then, I behold a French impressionist on the 50-yard-line with an easel and a brush. And I see the Razorback football team running him over — beret going one way, easel another, canvas another, brush another, paints another and artist another — on its way to another great gridiron victory.

Woo pig, sooie, go Hogs, and get that sissy Monet and those water lilies off the field — that’s sort of how I see this not coming to paint.

This apparently is the first official trademark associated with Hog athletics that has nothing to do with the iconic swine, either by image or supposed call.

It has only to do with the specific sequencing of words. As a struggling phrasemaker over a few decades, I can tell you

that I am impressed.

A sports columnist with the Louisville Courier-Journal seemed impressed, too, and maybe a tad surprised.

You see, this phrase came from the mouth of Bobby Petrino, our football coach and Louisville’s former one. This columnist wrote that he knew Petrino for many things: wins over Kentucky, good passing games, good quarterback development and an epic Orange Bowl win. But he never knew him, the columnist wrote, for a quote worthy of trademarking.

We in Arkansas never figured the coach for this kind of thing, either, though maybe we can help with context.

Petrino didn’t originate the phrase and never claimed as much. He acknowledged he was quoting one of his assistants, a longtime coaching associate, John Smith.

This was after the big LSU victory last year, highlighted by a 39-yard touchdown pass on fourth down.

Petrino was explaining his decision to go for broke in that situation. He said he called Smith over for advice and that

Smith reminded him they’d always had that saying: We didn’t come to paint; we came to win.

It was athletic director Jeff Long who decided the phrase offered lingering commercial and spiritual magic, considering that it defined, by heart and soul, this signature Razorback win, the one that sent the Hogs to the Sugar Bowl for their firstever Bowl Championship Series appearance.

Actually, the quote I more readily recall about that fourth-down touchdown pass came, reportedly, from quarterback Tyler Wilson.

As the story went, Wilson stood by on the sideline and heard the play get called, then strolled over to his pal, defensive end Jake Bequette, and said, “Watch this.”

I believe the Hogs ought also to trademark “watch this.” They say it only costs a thousand bucks.

John Brummett is a columnist and reporter for Stephens Media’s Arkansas News Bureau. www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 17

arts entertainment

This week in

Casting Crowns to Magic Springs PAGE 22

and

Billy Joe Shaver plays Rev Room PAGE 23

TO-DO LIST 22

CALENDAR 24

MOVIES 26

DINING 31

CASH LIVES Through the friends, family and fans who celebrated his legacy at the Johnny Cash Music Festival in Jonesboro.

18 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

and important one, Thursday night was as much a celebration of just how much Cash’s family and friends loved him as anything else.

You could hear that love in Kristofferson’s gravelly reminiscences of the man he first met backstage at the Grand Old Opry, when he was fresh out of the army and still wearing his uniform. The next time the two saw each other was when Kristofferson was working as a janitor at Columbia Studios in Nashville, where Cash recorded. After opening his set with the drunkard’s lament to end all others, “Sunday Morning Coming Down,” he moved on to “Here Comes That Rainbow Again” — the song “Johnny said was the best I ever wrote.”

When Cash had finished his final, ultimately successful stint in rehab, June Carter asked Kristofferson to write a song for him.

“I don’t write on command very much, and I write slow,” he said. “But I did it for June.”

Kristofferson’s voice, though cracked with age, is still undeniably capable of bringing tears to your eyes, perhaps nowhere more than on “Good Morning, John,” the song he wrote on command, as one of his closest friends in the world was just recovering from a harrowing period of his life.

Of course, Cash’s family members paid loving tribute to their brother, father and grandfather. Rosanne Cash kicked off the whole show with “Pickin’ Time,” which seemed very appropriate given the setting. John Carter and Laura Cash played a sweet rendition of Tim Hardin’s “If I Was a Carpenter.” Tommy Cash’s singing voice was uncannily close to that of his brother

ALL FOR CASH: Kris Kristofferson (above) and Rosanne Cash performed their own songs, as well as Johnny Cash covers.

BRIAN CHILSON

n There is probably no other American musician more beloved than Johnny Cash, who has essentially attained something akin to sainthood. But then few other artists touched as many people’s lives and gave back so much to their fellow performers, so it’s no wonder that the man inspired such adoration.

The inaugural Johnny Cash Music Festival, hosted last Thursday at Arkansas State University in Jonesboro, was a fundraiser to restore the New Deal-funded house in Dyess, where the Cash family moved in 1935. This year, most of the performers were either related to Cash by blood or, like Kris Kristofferson and George Jones, might as well have been Cash’s brothers.

Because there were so many performers on the bill, the concert felt a bit like eating off of a big, particularly delicious sampler tray — almost everything is great, but it all runs out too quickly.

That said, there were some great performances to be savored. When Jones and the backing band launched into the opening bars of “He Stopped Loving Her Today,” the crowd went crazy.

Behind the stage were three screens, illuminated with photos of Cash throughout his life, with his friends and family. There were great shots of him and Kristofferson and a fantastic one, probably from the early ’70s, of him laughing and hamming it up with Jones, who’s wrapping his arm around Cash’s neck while planting a smooch on his forehead.

While the goal of raising money to restore the Cash family home is a laudable

BRIAN CHILSON

BY ROBERT BELL

on “I Walk the Line” and “Five Feet High and Rising.” Joanne Cash sang the gospel hymn, “Come Home It’s Supper Time.”

Rodney Crowell and Rosanne sang “No Memories Hanging ‘Round,” which she admitted, was “a little weird, singing a duet with my ex-husband while my husband John Leventhal is here playing guitar.”

But the two sang beautifully, and if there were any hard feelings or ill will between

them, no one could tell.

The concert was being filmed by PBS for an upcoming special, which will be great exposure for the burgeoning concert.

While the filming lent a somewhat stilted affair to the proceedings, with Rosanne and John Carter indulging in some do-overs, it didn’t detract from the show in any serious way.

Overall, the event was a hit, and both the crowd and performers seemed like they were having a great time.

According to ASU, the concert was a sell-out, with 7,000 tickets sold and $310,000 raised to restore the Cash home.

Here’s hoping that the 2012 Johnny Cash Music Festival will be even bigger and better. The Times took three busloads of Johnny Cash fans to the concert, enjoying Diamond Bear beer, Lombardi Limonata and en-route live music from Jay Dover, Bonnie Montgomery and Joe Sundell the whole way to Jonesboro. Perhaps even more buses will be in order next year.

On a very sad note, Marshall Grant, the original bassist in the Tennessee Two, died Sunday in Jonesboro. He was slated to play on a song at the concert, but had fallen ill.

Grant was 83.

A & E N E WS SPECIAL KIDS RATE $15

New on Rock Candy n This might be the point where Jeff Nichols moves from indie darling to mainstream auteur: Deadline New York reports that the Little Rock director is in talks with Reese Witherspoon and Matthew McConaughey NICHOLS to star in his next film, “MUD,” which is scheduled to shoot throughout Arkansas sometime this fall.

The film is a “coming-of-age drama centered on two fourteen-yearold boys (Ellis and Neckbone), who encounter a mysterious fugitive (Mud) on an island in the Mississippi River.

Intrigued by this man, the boys enter a pact to help him escape capture,” according to a synopsis courtesy of The Agency, which is handling casting in Arkansas.

McConaughey would play “Mud.” Witherspoon would play “Juniper,” Mud’s soul mate. Tye Sheridan, seen recently in “The Tree of Life,” is in talks to play “Ellis.” And The Agency’s hoping to fill the role of “Neckbone” with an Arkansan in an open call scheduled for the Little Rock Parkview Auditorium for 1 p.m.-7 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 14. Applicants should bring a non-returnable photo and anyone under 18 must be accompanied by a parent or guardian. See more casting details at arktimes.com/neckbone. n Nineties R&B standouts En Vogue, SWV and Silk will headline the Delta Classic 4 Literacy Old Skool Concert on Friday, Sept. 2, at Riverfest Amphitheatre. Tickets — $20 for general admission, $45 for seats, $75 for VIP — are available via Uncle T’s, Ugly Mikes, Arkansas Baptist College, Next Day Wireless and the Record Rack in Pine Bluff. n More concert news: Rappers Gucci Mane and 1017 Brick Squad come to Clear Channel Metroplex Friday, Aug. 19, for a concert and after party. The show is hosted by JoJo Everythangs and Drumma Boy, with music from Dr. Feelgood.

Advanced tickets, available via Uncle T’s, Ugly Mikes, Arkansas Baptist College, Next Day Wireless and the Record Rack in Pine Bluff, come in three flavors: $25 gets you in the door, $50 gets you in the VIP section with a private bar and $75 gets you VIP access plus free drinks and food.

July 26 - September 3 Meredith Willson’s razzle-dazzle musical classic “The Music Man” will lift your spirits with its’ toe-tapping tunes and heart lifting marches. Enjoy this piece of Americana as salesman Harold Hill charms and scams a small Iowa town and a lovely librarian into believing that anything can come true, whether it be a boy’s band or love. One of Broadway’s best!

Colonel Glenn & University • murrysdinnerplayhouse.com • 562-3131

s s a l C e h t f o Head

!

H S BA

FREE activities!

August 13, 2011 10 a.m - 2 p.m.

FREE

• In honor of President Clinton’s Birthday, admission to the Clinton Library and audio tours narrated by President Clinton are free.

• Enjoy complimentary birthday cake and send birthday wishes to President Clinton • Haircuts provided by All Pro Styles • Car seat inspections and fire truck tours provided by the Little Rock Fire Dept.

• Climbing wall and tours of a helicopter provided by AR Air National Guard • Live entertainment and other kids’ activities

Get here early for these FREE activities while supplies last!

• Backpacks with school supplies • Immunizations and health screenings provided by the AR Dept. of Health (Parent or legal guardian must bring the child’s most current shot record) • Hope watermelons provided by the Hope Chamber of Commerce

For more information, please call 370-8000 or email operationslr@clintonfoundation.org www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 19

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A JOYFUL NOISE: Or, perhaps more accurately, a joyful flawless, perfect pop sound, which is what contemporary Christian act Casting Crowns brings to Magic Springs’ Timberwood Amphitheater Saturday night.

SCHOOL REFORMER: Geoffrey Canada, CEO of Harlem Children’s Zone, will discuss his approach to education reform Thursday at the Statehouse Convention Center.

■ to-dolist

BY ROBERT BELL

THU R SD AY 8/ 11

GEOFFREY CANADA

1 p.m. Statehouse Convention Center. $25, $100 for group of up to six.

n For the last two decades, Geoffrey Canada has led Harlem Children’s Zone, a massive project in New York City that aspires to break the cycle of poverty by offering charter schools and preschool, parenting workshops and health programs for impoverished families. Canada is a superstar of the school reformer movement, and he figures prominently in the film “Waiting for Superman.” While I’ve only seen bits and pieces of the film, it seems that its basic thrust is that the future could be rosy and every child could get a great education if only we got rid of those awful teachers unions. I am also generally suspicious of any film praised in the op-ed pages of the Wall Street Journal as a “stun22 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

ning liberal expose of a system that consigns American children who most need a decent education to our most destructive public schools.” Nobody is questioning that millions of American kids are denied a decent education. But all the merit pay, standardized testing and busted unions in the world can’t compare to solid parenting, a stable home life and safe neighborhoods. A book signing will follow the lecture.

F RID AY 8/12

CHARLIE ROBISON

9 p.m. Revolution. $12 adv., $15 door.

n The last 10 or so years seem to have been transformative ones for Charlie Robison. After debuting in the mid ’90s, he signed with Sony/Columbia and released several rollicking albums that had one foot planted in a hardcore honky-tonk tradition and the other in Hammond-heavy, Allman Brothers-style Southern-rock. Many of his earlier tunes were a bit on the raunchy side, exploring the evergreen themes of girls, partying and hell-raising. By 2008, his marriage to Dixie Chick Emily Erwin

had ended, and though the split was amicable, Robison’s pain was evident on his most recent album, 2009’s self-produced “Beautiful Day.” Unlike other divorce albums – “Hear, My Dear” or “Blood on the Tracks” – “Beautiful Day” sounds wounded and real and without indulging bitterness. On “Down Again” he recounts the roller coaster feeling familiar to anyone who’s been through a bad breakup, while the soaring guitar sounds like a liquor-loosened Richard Thompson stumbled into the studio, grabbed a guitar and let it rip. Robison is cut from the same stained denim cloth as fellow Texas troubadours Robert Earl Keen (who plays Revolution Sept. 16) Pat Green and Jack Ingram.

AMASA HINES

10 p.m. White Water Tavern. $6.

n New local band alert! Amasa Hines is made up of Joshua from Velvet Kente plus the dudes in Romany Rye, those being Judson and Josh Spillyards, Whitman Bransford and Ryan Hitt. They’re joined

by Norman Williamson on saxophone and, every now and again, trumpeter Rodney Block. Romany Rye is the band that includes California singer Luke MacMaster, and pursues a very shaggy, flannel-y, CSNY kinda vibe, heavy emphasis on the Y. Velvet Kente, you already know, right?

If not, well, what’s the hold-up? Anyways, Amasa Hines is named after the Spillyards’ great-great grandfather, and got started when the guys were all just hanging out and jamming. Now, they’ve got a steady gig at Ferneau on either Friday or Saturday when the Romany Rye guys are in town. With one song already in the can, Amasa Hines is eyeing a return trip to the studio to get another song or two to fill a 45. Headliners Graham Wilkinson & The Underground Township will play more reggae-ified, bro-friendly jams than you can shake a Bob Marley lighter at.

S AT U R D AY 8 /1 3

CASTING CROWNS

7:30 p.m. Magic Springs’ Timberwood Theater. $22.50-$55.

n OK, as of yet I have no hard evidence to back up this theory, but just hear me out: I believe that somewhere in this great nation of ours, there is a gleaming, ultra high-tech subterranean laboratory where a crack team of researchers and scientists creates sounds that are systematically engineered to cause listeners to sway side to side with their hands in the air while praising the Lord. Call it the NORAD of CCM. I also believe Casting Crowns to be one of the biggest projects, er, sorry, “bands” created in this top-secret, strategic Christian music nerve center. Anyways, Casting Crowns has sold like a zillion records of soaring, dramatic praise pop, the perfect soundtrack for all those super important, emotional moments in your adolescence, like that time at Centrifuge camp, when you met this really awesome girl Sarah, who’s from Alabama and you really liked her, but your friend Brandon liked her too and you guys had this really tense conversation about it while you walked along the beach in Panama City but you both agreed that you met her first so you should get to tell her you like her and then later you finally worked up the nerve to tell her and you went to the worship hall for the Casting Crowns show to find her but she was already there, swaying side to side with her arms in the air next to that backstabber Brandon!

CHARITY VANCE

7 p.m. Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts. $15-$50.

n Performer. Songwriter. “American Idol” contestant. Teen-ager. Charity

MONDAY 8/15

BILLY JOE SHAVER

8 p.m. Revolution. $15 adv., $20 d.o.s.

FAMILIAR FACE: Former “American Idol” contestant and native Arkansan Charity Vance returns to Central Arkansas for a performance at Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts.

Vance is all of these and more. The Little Rock native has been in the spotlight since she was a young’un, singing the National Anthem at Verizon Arena and at Riverfest and whatnot. Also, she moved to Nashville recently. That’s right: The Music City. In one of her latest interviews, Charity said some things that might be useful to you in your life if only you could stop being such a cynical jerk for one minute (Charity didn’t say that part because she would never judge you; I’m saying that, but I’m saying it from a place of love and concern). Among them: She wants to bring a lot of hope to people and

take them away; her inspiration for songs comes a lot from nature, and from both cloudy and sunny days; fear can defeat you (if you let it) or it can push you to success; her all-time favorite performer is Celine Dion. When you go to her website her song “Walk in the Park” starts playing and it sounds really good. But you know what also sounds good? Opening about 15 browser tabs, all playing “Walk in the Park,” that’s what. It holds up! It’s just that kind of song, where you can listen to it once, or you can listen to it 15 times, or you can listen to it 15 times all at once and it sounds awesome all three ways!

n If you grew up in the ’90s in a small Southern town, you might be forgiven for thinking country music sucked. For many of us, the overpowering slickness of Nashville was crammed down our throats, sometimes quite literally, in the form of a Garth Brooks cassingle. Well now that we got this Internet where you can learn about and listen to anything ever recorded, there’s just no excuse (aside from having bad taste) to dismiss country music outright. Hard as it is to believe now, classic country was tough to find 20 years ago. Slick pap dominated the airwaves and Lefty Frizzell, Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and the like were nowhere to be heard on most commercial country stations. Technology has largely corrected that aberration, but if for some reason you still think country sucks, go listen to an album from 1973 called “Old Five & Dimers Like Me,” by Billy Joe Shaver. If you remain unmoved, then you just don’t like good music. Sorry, but it’s true. Shaver is beyond influential, with something in the neighborhood of 210 artists known to have recorded one or more of his songs. Cash had a hit with “I’m Just an Old Chunk of Coal,” while Waylon Jennings’ outlaw country steez was heavily inspired by Shaver’s songwriting. Another thing: a couple years back this guy insulted Shaver’s wife and threatened him in a bar outside Waco and he shot the dude in the face and then left. And the jury acquitted him. The guy lived, but still. Hell, when Shaver first tried to turn himself in in Austin, the cops wouldn’t even book him. The term “living legend” was coined specifically for folks like Billy Joe Shaver. You don’t want to miss this show.

■ inbrief

THURSDAY 8/11

n Ashley McBryde takes her folky, roots-tinged tunes to the stage at Dugan’s Pub, 8:30 p.m., free. The R-rated improv comedy group Red Octopus Theater opens its ’70s-themed show “Caged Heat,” 7:30 p.m., $8-$10. The show runs Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays through Aug. 20. Does Thursday night find you in the mood for some Nat King Cole or Glenn Miller? Check out Bob Boyd Sounds at Laman Library, 7 p.m., free. For some pop bombast in the vein of a more rocking Belle & Sebastian, check out King Arthur at White Water Tavern. Sleepy Kitten and Sea Nanners open the show, 10 p.m., $5. For something completely different, say, some chugging, circle-pit instigating hardcore, check out This Is Hell, with Decoder opening at Downtown Music, 7 p.m., $8 adv., $10 d.o.s.

FRIDAY 8/12

n For some over-the-top, Vaudevilleinformed modern rock, Randall Shreve & The Sideshow will rock your skinny jeans right off those skinny legs, mister.

1 oz. Jig and The Matt Smith Group open the show at Juanita’s, 9 p.m.

Pound for pound, dollar for dollar, you will not get more bluegrass anywhere other than The Afterthought, which hosts Runaway Planet at 9 p.m., $7.

If hot-rod heavy, throwback rockabilly is your bag, then check out Three Bad Jacks. Northwest Arkansas pop-punkers Dreamfast open the show at Maxine’s, 8 p.m., $6 adv., $8 door. Bust a gut at The Loony Bin with the soft-R musings of funnyman Collin Moultin, 8 p.m. and 10:30, $10.

SATURDAY 8/13

ORIGINAL OUTLAW: Billy Joe Shaver is a songwriting legend, and more or less invented the Outlaw country genre, along with cohorts like Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings, both of whom have recorded Shaver’s tunes.

n Big Silver — led by Little Rock mainstay and musical polymath Isaac Alexander — brings lush, ornate pop sounds to White Water Tavern, 10 p.m. $5. If you visit Cork, Ireland, for Christ’s sake don’t kiss the Blarney Stone, no matter what the tour guide tells you about good luck. The locals pee on it. Seriously.

But you might just be able to kiss the beer-swilling punks in the Blarney Street Hooligans, though it might not bring you good luck. The band plays Maxine’s with Sunday Valley at 8 p.m., $5. Discovery Nightclub has another jam-packed late night with Mayday By Midnight, DJs Hollywood, Ramon, Rufio, Jared and Joel Allenbaugh and performers Teresha Foxx, Tori Mathison and Dominique, 11 p.m. til 5 a.m., $12. PG-13 headlines at Cajun’s Wharf, with Jim Mills during happy hour and DJ g-force between sets, 5 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 23

www.arktimes.com

afterdark

All events are in the Greater Little Rock area unless otherwise noted. To place an event in the Arkansas Times calendar, please e-mail the listing and all pertinent information, including date, time, location, price and contact information, to calendar@arktimes.com.

COMEDY

EVENTS

Argenta Restaurant Week. Argenta restaurants serve up special $8, two-course lunches and $25, three-course prix fixe dinners from Aug. 1-13. Includes Argenta Market, Cornerstone Pub & Grill, Cregeen’s Irish Pub, Reno’s Argenta Cafe, Starving Artist Cafe, Benihana, Ristorante Capeo and Riverfront Steakhouse. Downtown Argenta, through Aug. 13, 11 a.m. Main Street, NLR. Arkansas Poker Championship. The build-up to the $25,000 Arkansas Poker Tournament began June 13 with the first of 20 qualifying rounds to be held 24 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

SPORTS

Arkansas Travelers vs. Corpus Christi Hooks.

Dickey-Stephens Park, 7:10 p.m., $6-$12. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-664-1555. www.travs.com.

CLASSES

Computer classes for seniors. These classes for seniors ages 50 and older will be held at the UAMS Institute on Aging in Room 1155. UAMS Institute on Aging, through Aug. 24: 12 p.m. 629 Jack Stephens Drive. 501-603-1262.

KIDS

MUSIC

Collin Moulton. The Loony Bin, 8 p.m.; Aug. 12, 10:30 p.m.; Aug. 13, 7, 9 and 11 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-228-5555. www. loonybincomedy.com.

FILM

Dog Days Movie: “Underdog.” Main Library, 3 p.m., free. 100 S. Rock St. www.cals.lib.ar.us.

Troupe d’Jour’s Midsummer Shakespeare Camp. An intensive acting camp that focuses on acting, movement, voice, diction, focus, text analysis, stage combat, ensemble and performance. Open to students completing grades 1-7. Price includes instruction, course materials, performances, daily snacks and souvenir T shirt. Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts, $295. 20919 Denny Road.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 10 Acoustic Open Mic. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., free. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www. afterthoughtbar.com.

Alternative Wednesdays. Features alternative bands from Little Rock and the surrounding areas.

Mediums Art Lounge, 6:30 p.m., $5. 521 Center St. 501-374-4495.

Bolly Open Mic Hype Night with Osyrus Bolly and DJ Messiah. All American Wings, 9 p.m. 215 W. Capitol Ave. 501-376-4000. allamericanwings. com.

Grim Muzik presents Way Back Wednesdays.

Cornerstone Pub & Grill, through Aug. 31: 8:30 p.m., $5. 314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub. com.

Jason Greenlaw, Buddafli, Shea Marie. 6 p.m. every Wed. Sway, $5. 412 Louisiana. 501-907-2582.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, through Aug. 11, 7 p.m.; through Aug. 18, 7 p.m.

500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www. sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Karaoke at Khalil’s. Khalil’s Pub, 7 p.m. 110 S. Shackleford Road. 501-224-0224. www.khalilspub. com.

Karaoke. Hibernia Irish Tavern, 9 p.m. 9700 N Rodney Parham Road. 501-246-4340. www.hiberniairishtavern.com.

Karaoke with Big John Miller. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Mayday By Midnight. Stickyz Rock ’n’ Roll Chicken Shack, through Aug. 31: 9 p.m., $5. 107 Commerce St. 501-372-7707. www.stickyfingerz. com.

Richie Johnson. Cajun’s Wharf, 5 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www. cajunswharf.com.

Sol Inertia, Reverend Hellmouth, Pure Black Sex. Downtown Music Hall, 8 p.m., $6. 211 W. Capitol. 501-376-1819. downtownshows.homestead.com.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 5 p.m., free.

111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel. com/CBG.

St., El Dorado, AR 71730. For more information about applying, contact the SAAC office at 862-5474. For more information about SAAC, visit www.saac-arts. org. through Sept. 2.

Savor the City. Throughout August, dozens of Little Rock restaurants are offering deals such as discounts and special prix fixe menus. Details are available at www.dinelr.com. Little Rock, through Aug. 31, 11 a.m. 200 E. Markham St. 501-376-4781.

THURSDAY, AUGUST 11 MUSIC

MISSISSIPPI SON: After the Travelers game Saturday night, stick around at the Hookslide Corner Beer Garden for Jimbo Mathus & The Tri-State Coalition. Mathus was the front man for ’90s swing revivalists Squirrel Nut Zippers, but his current act mines a more bluesinflected, Southern-fried boogie sound.

over the course of 10 weeks. Oaklawn Park will host a poker tournament every Monday and Wednesday through Aug. 17. The top 60 qualifiers will go headto-head in the final set for Wed., Aug. 24. The final will offer $25,000 in guaranteed prize money with at least $10,000 going to the winner. Oaklawn, through Aug. 17: 5:30 p.m., $60 buy-in amount. 2705 Central Ave., Hot Springs. 501-623-4411, ext. 602. www. oaklawn.com.

Director for play sought. The Theatre Committee of the South Arkansas Arts Center is accepting

director applications for the upcoming holiday production of “It’s A Wonderful Life,” by James W. Rodgers, based upon the film by Frank Capra.

The play will be produced Nov. 25-27 and Dec. 1-4. Auditions for the production are scheduled for the first week of October. Interested applicants should have experience working with community theatre and its unique challenges. Interested and qualified applicants should send a resume and brief production plan by Friday, Sept. 2, 2011, to South Arkansas Arts Center, Attn: Jack Wilson, 110 E. 5th

Ashley McBryde. Dugan’s Pub, 8:30 p.m., free.

403 E. 3rd St. 501-244-0542. www.duganspublr. com.

“BLISS.” Music by DJ Greyhound. Deep Ultra Lounge, 10 p.m. 322 President Clinton Ave. Bob Boyd Sounds. Laman Library, 7 p.m., free.

2801 Orange St., NLR. 501-758-1720. www.lamanlibrary.org.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, through Aug. 11, 7 p.m.; through Aug. 18, 7 p.m.

500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www. sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Karaoke. Zack’s Place, 8 p.m. 1400 S. University Ave. 501-664-6444. www.zacks-place.com.

Kavanaugh Band. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., $5.

2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

King Arthur, Sleepy Kitten. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 2500 W. 7th. 501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Mr. Lucky (headliner), Josh Green (happy hour). Cajun’s Wharf, 5 and 9 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www.cajunswharf.com.

Ol’ Puddin’haid. Thirst n’ Howl, 7:30 p.m., free.

14710 Cantrell Road. 501-379-8189. www.thirstn-howl.com.

Port Arthur Band. Parrot Beach Cafe, 9 p.m. 9611 MacArthur Drive, NLR. 771-2994.

“Rock in the Rock” showcase with Thread, Se7en Sharp, Underclaire and Stereodown.

Presented by Infrared Records and Big Rock 93.3 FM. Revolution, 8 p.m., $9.33. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

“Sway’s Summer Cure.” DJs Sleepy Genius and Silky Slim play pop, electro, house and more, plus drink specials. Sway, 9 p.m., $5. 412 Louisiana.

501-907-2582.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 5 p.m., free.

111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel. com/CBG. This is Hell, Decoder. Downtown Music Hall, 7 p.m., $8 adv., $10 d.o.s. 211 W. Capitol. 501-3761819. downtownshows.homestead.com.

Tommy Rock. Cregeen’s Irish Pub, 8 p.m. 301 Main St., NLR. 501-376-7468. www.cregeens.com.

Velcro Pygmies. West End Smokehouse and Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 215 N. Shackleford. 501-2247665. www.westendsmokehouse.net.

Zac & Sam acoustic show. Denton’s Trotline, 7 p.m., free. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-3151717.

COMEDY

Collin Moulton. The Loony Bin, through Aug. 12, 8 p.m.; Aug. 12, 10:30 p.m.; Aug. 13, 7, 9 and 11 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-228-

5555. www.loonybincomedy.com.

EVENTS

35th Annual Hope Watermelon Festival.

Watermelon eating contests, fish fry, concerts, games and live music. Final concert by Chuck Wicks and Little Texas is $6 for kids and $12 for adults. Fair Park - Hope, Aug. 11, 12 p.m.; Aug. 12-13, 9 a.m., free. Fair Park Drive, Hope.

Argenta Restaurant Week. See Aug. 10.

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

LECTURES

Central Arkansas Genealogical and Historical Society. Dr. Blake Wintory, assistant director and facilities manager of the Lakeport Plantation Heritage site, will describe research methods associated with black history in Arkansas, with emphasis on sources of 19th century African American political biography.

Arkansas Studies Institute, 6 p.m. 401 President Clinton Ave. 501-912-3587. www.butlercenter.org.

Geoffrey Canada. The education reform advocate and former president and CEO of Harlem Children’s Zone presents “Saving the World — One Child at a Time.” Statehouse Convention Center, 1 p.m., $25, $100 for group up to six. 7 Statehouse Plaza.

501-364-3727.

SPORTS

Arkansas Travelers vs. Corpus Christi Hooks.

Dickey-Stephens Park, through Aug. 12, 7:10 p.m., $6-$12. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-664-1555. www.travs.com.

KIDS

Troupe d’Jour’s Midsummer Shakespeare Camp. See Aug. 10.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 12 MUSIC

Amasa Hines, Graham Wilkinson and the Underground Township. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., $6. 2500 W. 7th. 501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Big John Miller. Markham Street Grill And Pub, 9 p.m., free. 11321 W. Markham St. 501-224-2010. www.markhamst.com.

Brian Nahlen. Cregeen’s Irish Pub, 8 p.m. 301 Main St., NLR. 501-376-7468. www.cregeens.com.

Charlie Robison. Revolution, 9 p.m., $12 adv., $15 door. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Craig Davis Band. Fox And Hound, 10 p.m., $5.

2800 Lakewood Village, NLR. 501-753-8300. www. foxandhound.com/locations/north-little-rock.aspx.

DJ g-force. Deep Ultra Lounge, 9 p.m. 322 President Clinton Ave. DJ Silky Slim. Top 40 and dance music. Sway, 9 p.m., $5. 412 Louisiana. 501-907-2582.

G$ & The Rock Revolution. West End Smokehouse and Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 215 N. Shackleford. 501-224-7665. www.westendsmokehouse.net.

The Ivory Line, Belair. Vino’s, 9 p.m., $8. 923 W. 7th St. 501-375-8466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

Jay Jackson (headliner), Brent & Adam (happy hour). Cajun’s Wharf, 5 and 9 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www. cajunswharf.com.

Jeff Coleman. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, Aug. 12-13, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-3242999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Josh Green. Flying Saucer, 9 p.m., $3. 323 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-7468. www.beerknurd.com/stores/littlerock.

Michael Burks. Stickyz Rock ’n’ Roll Chicken Shack, 9 p.m., $10. 107 Commerce St. 501-3727707. www.stickyfingerz.com.

The OD-5. Hosted by Epiphany. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 8:30 p.m., $5. 314 Main St., NLR. 501-3741782. cstonepub.com.

Randall Shreve & The Sideshow, 1 oz. Jig, Matt Smith Group. Juanita’s, 9 p.m. 614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www.juanitas.com.

Runaway Planet. The Afterthought, 9 p.m., $7.

2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

Ryan Couron. Denton’s Trotline, 9 p.m., $10. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 9 p.m., free.

111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel. com/CBG. Three Bad Jacks. Maxine’s, 8 p.m., $6 adv., $8

door. 700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. maxinespub. com.

White Collar Criminals. Dugan’s Pub, 8:30 p.m., Free. 403 E. 3rd St. 501-244-0542. www. duganspublr.com.

COMEDY

Collin Moulton. The Loony Bin, through Aug. 12, 8 p.m.; Aug. 12, 10:30 p.m.; Aug. 13, 7, 9 and 11 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-2285555. www.loonybincomedy.com.

EVENTS

35th Annual Hope Watermelon Festival. See Aug. 11.

Argenta Restaurant Week. See Aug. 10.

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

LGBTQ/SGL Youth and Young Adult Group.

Diverse Youth for Social Change is a group for LGBTQ/SGL and straight ally youth and young adults age 14 to 23. For more information, call 244-9690 or search “DYSC” on Facebook. 800 Scott St., 6:30 p.m. 800 Scott St. Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

SPORTS

Arkansas Travelers vs. Corpus Christi Hooks.

Dickey-Stephens Park, 7:10 p.m., $6-$12. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-664-1555. www.travs.com.

KIDS

Troupe d’Jour’s Midsummer Shakespeare Camp. See Aug. 10.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 13 MUSIC

Big Silver. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 2500 W. 7th. 501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Blarney Street Hooligans, Sunday Valley.

Maxine’s, 8 p.m., $5. 700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. maxinespub.com.

Bombay Black. West End Smokehouse and Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 215 N. Shackleford. 501-2247665. www.westendsmokehouse.net.

Brian Nahlen. Dugan’s Pub, 8:30 p.m., Free. 403 E. 3rd St. 501-244-0542. www.duganspublr.com.

Brown Soul Shoes. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 9 p.m., $5. 314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub.com.

Casting Crowns. Magic Springs’ Timberwood Amphitheater, 7:30 p.m., $22.50-$55. 1701 E. Grand Ave., Hot Springs.

Charity Vance. Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts, 7 p.m., $15-$50. 20919 Denny Road.

Dave Hardy. Markham Street Grill And Pub, 9 p.m., Free. 11321 W. Markham St. 501-224-2010. www. markhamst.com.

The Fragile Elite. Cregeen’s Irish Pub, 8 p.m., $5.

301 Main St., NLR. 501-376-7468. www.cregeens. com.

Frames, Truth Inside. Vino’s, 9 p.m., $6. 923 W. 7th St. 501-375-8466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

FreeVerse. The Afterthought, 9 p.m., $7. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

G$ & The Rock Revolution. Denton’s Trotline, 9 p.m., $8. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Grady Nichols. Arlington Hotel, 7:15 p.m., $20 adv. $25 door. 239 Central Ave., Hot Springs. 501-6237771.

“Inferno” with DJs SilkySlim, Deja Blu, Greyhound. Sway, 10 p.m. 412 Louisiana. 501-9072582.

Jeff Coleman. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www. sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Jimbo Mathus and the Tri-State Coalition.

Concert starts after the Travelers game. DickeyStephens Park. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-6641555. www.travs.com.

Karaoke at Khalil’s. Khalil’s Pub, 7 p.m. 110 S. Shackleford Road. 501-224-0224. www.khalilspub. com.

KSSN Texaco Country Challenge. Revolution, 8 p.m., $5, $10 for under 21. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Mayday By Midnight (live band), Hollywood, Ramon, Rufio, Jared, Joel Allenbaugh (DJ), Teresha Foxx, Tori Mathison, Dominique (showroom). Discovery Nightclub, 11 p.m., $12.

1021 Jessie Road. 501-664-4784. www.latenightdisco.com.

PG-13 (headliner), Jim Mills (happy hour), DJ g-force (between sets). Cajun’s Wharf, 5 and 9

p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-3755351. www.cajunswharf.com.

Seahag, Pallbearer, Black Pussy, Crankbait, Holy Angell. Downtown Music Hall, 8 p.m., $6.

211 W. Capitol. 501-376-1819. downtownshows. homestead.com.

Shannon McClung. Flying Saucer, 9 p.m., $3. 323 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-7468. www.beerknurd.com/stores/littlerock.

Taylormade. Fox And Hound, 10 p.m., $5. 2800 Lakewood Village, NLR. 501-753-8300. www.foxandhound.com/locations/north-little-rock.aspx.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 9 p.m., free.

111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel. com/CBG.

COMEDY

Collin Moulton. The Loony Bin, 7, 9 and 11 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-2285555. www.loonybincomedy.com.

EVENTS

35th Annual Hope Watermelon Festival. See Aug. 11.

Argenta Restaurant Week. See Aug. 10.

Arkansas Kennel Club Dog Show. Arkansas State Fairgrounds, Aug. 13-14, 6 a.m.-8 p.m. 2600 Howard St. 501-372-8341 ext. 8206. www.onofrio. com/jp/ARKA1JP.pdf.

Arkansas Farmers Market. Locally grown produce. Certified Farmers Market, 7 a.m.-12 p.m.

6th and Main, NLR. Confederate History Weekend. Activities include camp life, cannon firing demonstrations and other living history activities. Visitors are encouraged to wander the grounds and talk with the reenactors.

Prairie Grove Battlefield State Park, 9 a.m. 506 E. Douglas St., Prairie Grove. 479-846-2990. www. arkansasstateparks.com/prairiegrovebattlefield.

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

Falun Gong meditation. Allsopp Park, 9 a.m., free. Cantrell & Cedar Hill Roads.

Farmer’s Market. River Market Pavilions, through Oct. 31: 7 a.m. 400 President Clinton Ave. 375-2552. www.rivermarket.info.

“Garden Gourmet” Chef Series. Celebrating sustainable food and culinary traditions, the series features Little Rock chefs demonstrating their use of fresh, local ingredients. River Market Pavilions, through Oct. 8: second Saturday of every month, 9 a.m. 400 President Clinton Ave. 375-2552. www. rivermarket.info.

Good Gardens presents Beth Phelps. Phelps is an extension agent with the Pulaski County Extension Service and also manages the Master Gardener Volunteer Program for the county, provides horticulture programs for organizations and answers thousands of gardening questions each year.

Laman Library, 10 a.m., free. 2801 Orange St., NLR. 501-758-1720. www.lamanlibrary.org.

Helena Second Saturdays. Enjoy art and live usic along Cherry Street. Cherry Street, through Nov. 12: second Saturday of every month, 5 p.m. 223 Cherry St., Helena.

Hillcrest Farmers Market. Pulaski Heights Baptist Church, 7 a.m. 2200 Kavanaugh Blvd.

Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

FILM

Faulkner County Film Society: “Paul Newman.” Faulkner County Library will screen “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” and “The Hustler.” Faulkner County Library, 5 p.m., Free. 1900 Tyler St., Conway.

501-327-7482. www.fcl.org.

SPORTS

15th Annual Run for the Grapes. Proceeds will benefit the Catholic Youth Organization. Tontitown Knights of Columbus Hall, 7 a.m., $8-$20. 233 N. Barrington Road, Springdale. 479-718-1100.

Arkansas Travelers vs. San Antonio Missions.

Dickey-Stephens Park, Aug. 13, 7:10 p.m.; Aug. 14, 6 p.m.; Aug. 15, 7:10 p.m., $6-$12. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-664-1555. www.travs.com.

NPC 2011 Arkansas State Bodybuilding finals. Robinson Center Music Hall, 7 p.m., $27-$32.

Markham and Broadway. www.littlerockmeetings. com/conv-centers/robinson.

NPC 2011 Arkansas State Bodybuilding prejudging. Robinson Center Music Hall, 11 a.m., $17-$22. Markham and Broadway. www.littlerockmeetings.com/conv-centers/robinson.

BENEFITS

Free2Walk Freedom 5k. Not For Sale Arkansas campaign presents this fundraiser event to raise

awareness about human trafficking and how to combat this crime. Walk starts on the Little Rock side of the bridge. Big Dam Bridge - Murray Park, 7 a.m., $25. 7600 Rebsamen Park Rd. www.notforsalecampaign.org/free2walk.

Phlapjack Phundraiser for Alzheimer’s Arkansas. Includes a festive breakfast of pancakes, sausage, tea, coffee or soda, with net proceeds donated to Alzheimer’s Arkansas. Presented by Little Rock Parrotheads. Applebee’s (NLR), 8 a.m., $7. 4333 Warden Road, NLR. 501-791-3300. www. applebees.com.

BOOKS

26th Annual Arkansas Book and Paper Show.

Dealers from all over will sell a wide array of books and other printed materials, including first editions, autographed books, postcards, maps, photos and more. Jacksonville Community Center, Aug. 13, 9 a.m.; Aug. 14, 10 a.m., $5. 5 Municipal Drive, Jacksonville. 501-590-0071.

Adrienne Thompson. Adrienne Thompson will be signing copies of her new inspirational romance novel “Bluesday” in the lobby at 1 p.m. followed by an author talk at 2 p.m. Faulkner County Library, 1 p.m.

1900 Tyler St., Conway. 501-327-7482. www.fcl.org.

Martha Dixon. The former dressmaker to Hillary Clinton will sign copies of her memoir, “Triumph Beyond Measure: An Autobiography.” River Market Books & Gifts, 2 p.m. 120 Commerce St. 501-9183093.

CLASSES

“Good Gardens.” A monthly garden program.

Laman Library, through Oct. 6: second Saturday of every month, 10 a.m. 2801 Orange St., NLR. 501-758-1720. www.lamanlibrary.org.

KIDS

Troupe d’Jour’s Midsummer Shakespeare Camp. See Aug. 10.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 14 MUSIC

Filter. Revolution, 8:30 p.m., $15. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Karaoke. Shorty Small’s, 6-9 p.m. 1475 Hogan Lane, Conway. 501-764-0604. www.shortysmalls. com.

Sunday Funday. DJs, dancing and drink specials.

Stickyz Rock ’n’ Roll Chicken Shack, 5 p.m., free.

107 Commerce St. 501-372-7707. www.stickyfingerz.com.

Sunday Jazz Brunch with Ted Ludwig and Joe Cripps. Vieux Carre, 11 a.m. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.vieuxcarrecafe.com.

EVENTS

9th Annual Cut-N-Back-2-Class. Professional barbers will be providing free haircuts for students of all ages. New Tyler Barber College, 2 p.m., Free. 1221 Bishop Lindsey Ave., NLR. 501-603-3837.

Arkansas Kennel Club Dog Show. Arkansas State Fairgrounds, 6 a.m. p.m. 2600 Howard St. 501-372-8341 ext. 8206. www.onofrio.com/jp/ ARKA1JP.pdf.

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

SPORTS

Arkansas Travelers vs. San Antonio Missions.

Dickey-Stephens Park, Aug. 14, 6 p.m.; Aug. 15, 7:10 p.m., $6-$12. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-6641555. www.travs.com.

BOOKS

26th Annual Arkansas Book and Paper Show.

See Aug. 13.

MONDAY, AUGUST 15 MUSIC

Billy Joe Shaver. Revolution, 8 p.m., $15 adv., $20 d.o.s. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Brandon Dorris. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., Free.

2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

Karaoke. Thirst n’ Howl, 8:30 p.m. 14710 Cantrell Road. 501-379-8189. www.thirst-n-howl.com.

Macabre. Downtown Music Hall, 8 p.m., $10 adv., $13 door. 211 W. Capitol. 501-376-1819. downtownshows.homestead.com.

Richie Johnson. Cajun’s Wharf, 5 p.m., $5 after

Continued on page 28

www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 25

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FitNess 26 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

Showtimes for Rave, Riverdale and Chenal 9 were not available by press deadline. Market Street Cinema showtimes at or after 9 p.m. are for Friday and Saturday only.

NEW MOVIES 30 Minutes or Less (R) — Danny McBride and Nick Swardson are two inept criminals who abduct a pizza delivery man played by Jesse Eisenberg, strap a bomb to his chest and cause hilarity to ensue. Breckenridge: 1:40, 4:45, 7:50, 10:10.

Lakewood 8: 11:10 a.m., 1:10, 4:35, 7:25, 9:50.

Final Destination 5 3D (R) — The fight for teen-agers’ precious, precious disposable income continues. Breckenridge: 1:45, 4:15, 7:40, 9:55.

Lakewood 8: 11:20 a.m., 1:35, 4:15, 7:00, 9:45.

Glee the 3D Concert Movie (PG) — “ZOMG!!!

LOLLLZZZ! GOT 2 C THIS OR ILL DIE! <3!!!!” (Sorry to have to do that folks, but apparently this is how teen-agers communicate now.) Breckenridge: 1:50, 4:50, 7:10, 10:20.

The Help (PG-13) — Emma Stone and Viola Davis star in this adaptation of Kathryn Stockett’s novel about the African-American maids who work in white households in 1960s Mississippi.

Breckenridge: 1:00, 4:05, 7:10, 10:15. Lakewood 8: 1:00, 4:05, 7:10, 10:10.

The Trip (NR) — Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon, who are actors and British, travel ye olde English countryside, impersonating famous actors and eating food and generally being irascibly hilarious.

Market Street: 2:00, 4:20, 6:45, 9:15.

RETURNING THIS WEEK A Better Life (PG-13) – “About a Boy” director Chris Weitz offers this tale about a father willing to do what it takes to give his child the chances that weren’t available to him. Movies 10: 12:10, 2:30, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35.

Beginners (R) — Oliver, who is pursuing the irreverent and charming Anna, finds inspiration and strength from memories of his father, who came out of the closet after 44 years of marriage to live a happy and fulfilled life. Market Street: 2:15, 4:15, 6:45, 9:00.

Buck (PG) — This documentary follows real-life “horse-whisperer” Buck Brannaman as he travels the country, helping people communicate with their horses. Market Street: 2:00, 4:15, 7:15, 9:15.

Captain America: The First Avenger (PG-13) –

The Marvel Comics patriotic superhero defends American values from the forces of something or other; starring Chris Evans and Tommy Lee Jones.

Breckenridge: 4:10, 9:55 (2D), 1:10, 7:05 (3D).

Lakewood 8: 11:05 a.m., 4:40, 10:10 (2D), 2:00, 7:25 (3D).

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (G) — Werner Herzog films some of humanity’s oldest pictorial creations inside the Chauvet caves in southern France in this documentary. Market Street: 4:20, 9:30.

The Change-Up (R) — Be careful what you wish for, because according to Hollywood, you might just wake up one day and be older or be a different gender or even another person altogether.

Breckenridge: 1:05, 4:20, 7:15, 9:45. Lakewood 8: 11:05 a.m. 1:40, 4:20, 7:10.

Cowboys & Aliens (PG-13) — Exactly what it sounds like, from director Jon Favreau.

Breckenridge: 1:25, 4:30, 7:30, 10:10. Lakewood 8: 11:00 a.m., 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:00.

Crazy, Stupid, Love (PG-13) — Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling star in this dark romantic comedy from the writing team behind “Bad Santa.” Breckenridge: 1:20, 4:25 (Open Captioned & Descriptive Audio) 7:25, 10:05 Lakewood 8: 10:05.

Fast Five (PG-13) – The fifth installation of the “Fast and the Furious” series sees the crew in Rio, stuck between a drug lord and a tenacious federal agent. With Vin Diesel and Paul Walker. Movies 10: 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50.

Green Lantern (PG-13) — Ryan Reynolds stars as the DC Comics superhero in this sci-fi action flick that also stars Blake Lively and Peter Sarsgaard.

Movies 10: noon, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:20.

The Hangover Part II (R) – The Wolf Pack ends up blacking out and having to retrace the night before again. This time in Asia. With Zach Galifianakis and Ed Helms. Movies 10: 12:25, 2:50, 5:15, 7:35, 10:05.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II: (PG-13) – The second half of the film adaptation of J.K. Rowling’s final Harry Potter book.

Breckenridge: 1:05, 6:50 (2D), 4:00, 9:50 (3D).

Horrible Bosses (R) — A trio of frustrated friends takes advice from an ex-con and hatches a plan to permanently rid themselves of their awful bosses.

Breckenridge: 1:35, 4:40, 7:00, 9:35.

Kung-Fu Panda 2 (PG) – Po (Jack Black) is living

it up as The Dragon Warrior, but a mysterious villain threatens to ruin his plans. Movies 10: 12:15, 2:25, 4:35, 6:45 (2D), 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50, 10:00 (3D).

Midnight in Paris (PG-13) — Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams hang out with literary heavyweights of the 1920s in Paris. Market Street: 1:45, 4:00, 7:00, 9:15.

Monte Carlo (PG) — Selena Gomez and Leighton Meester go to Europe, flirt with young bachelors and party on yachts. Movies 10: 12:45, 4:15.

Mr. Poppers Penguins (PG) — Jim Carrey plays a businessman whose life takes a turn for ridiculous after he inherits six penguins. Movies 10: 12:05, 2:20, 4:45, 7:20, 9:45.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (PG-13) — Capt. Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) crosses paths with Angelica (Penelope Cruz), who forces him onboard her ship to find the Fountain of Youth. Movies 10: 12:20, 1:50, 3:20, 4:50, 6:20, 7:55, 9:30.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (PG-13) — The resurrected ’70s sci-fi franchise continues in this origin story of just how those primates got to be so smart. Breckenridge: 1:30, 4:35, 7:35, 10:00.

Lakewood 8: 11:00 a.m., 1:45, 4:25, 7:15, 10:00.

The Smurfs (PG) — The venerable Dr. Doogie Howser must aid a cadre of tiny blue communists as they flee from an evil plutocrat who seeks to control their means of production. Breckenridge: 4:20, 9:40 (2D), 1:15, 7:20 (3D). Lakewood 8: 11:15 a.m., 1:25, 4:10, 7:05, 9:30.

Tree of Life (PG-13) — A spectral examination of childhood and memory from master director Terrence Malick. Market Street: 1:45, 7:00.

Winnie the Pooh (G) – Winnie, Tigger, Rabbit, Piglet, Owl, Kangaroo and Eeyore are reunited in this animated Walt Disney production. Breckenridge: X-Men: First Class (PG-13) – Professor Xavier’s gifted students explore their new-found powers as the Cold War reaches a fever pitch. With James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender. Movies 10: 7:05, 9:55.

Chenal 9 IMAX Theatre: 17825 Chenal Parkway, 821-2616, www.dtmovies.com.

Cinemark Movies 10: 4188 E. McCain Blvd., 9457400, www.cinemark.com.

Cinematown Riverdale 10: Riverdale Shopping Center, 296-9955, www.riverdale10.com.

Lakewood 8: 2939 Lakewood Village Drive, 7585354, www.fandango.com.

Market Street Cinema: 1521 Merrill Drive, 3128900, www.marketstreetcinema.net.

Rave Colonel Glenn 18: 18 Colonel Glenn Plaza, 687-0499, www.ravemotionpictures.com.

Regal Breckenridge Village 12: 1-430 and Rodney Parham, 224-0990, www.fandango.com.

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CALENDAR

Continued from page 25 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www. cajunswharf.com.

EVENTS

Arkansas Poker Championship. See Aug. 10.

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

LECTURES

‘RISE OF THE PLANET OF THE APES’: James Franco stars.

■ moviereview When apes ruled the world ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ is surprisingly subtle. n Even the name “Planet of the Apes” today rings with the kitschy echo of that first, 1968 sci-fi classic that, woe unto the successful, now evokes nothing as strongly as Charlton Heston on a beach weeping at the sight of the Statue of Liberty in ruins. It has been spoofed endlessly and famously since — the nod at the end of “Spaceballs” and the “Simpsons” musical starring Troy McClure both were devastating, if hilarious — and has suffered similarly to “Soylent Green,” oddly enough another dystopian Heston artifact of the era. Maybe it’s a pitfall of powerful writing or a knock on the depth of the movies themselves, but it’s of no help to a film’s place in history if it can be summarized in a single line, whether that’s “Soylent Green is people!” or “You maniacs! You blew it up!”

What propelled those lines was their significance to the key twist in the plot. In the original “Planet,” that was, obviously, that the apparent alien world the astronauts had found was actually Earth. (That sounds quaint now, but if you saw it at age 10, not expecting the reveal, it was a damn spooky concept.) There’s not much in the way of catchy lines during “Rise of the Planet of the Apes,” a clunky title that would have done just fine as “Rise of the Apes” if the franchise hadn’t demanded the hat-tip.

What “Rise” does well, though, is set in motion a series of plausible (as these things go, anyway) events that we’re told, with admirable subtlety, will explain the simian world of the original “Planet.” It also will have you wondering whether an entire planet of these apes wouldn’t represent at least a marginal upgrade from this planet of the humans.

To get from the apes who fling feces at school children to the apes who speak in continental accents and run everything, you have to make them very smart indeed.

Fortunately, in San Francisco, a lab-coated 28 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

James Franco is concocting a viral treatment that helps the brain regenerate cells, in his post at a major pharma outfit that intends to get stinking rich by curing Alzheimer’s. When the test-chimp for this project has to be put down, the good doctor adopts her newborn, who soon exhibits incredible intelligence. With his father (John Lithgow) struck by dementia, the doctor is soon testing the treatment on him, and finds that it shows explosive results, but fades. When he develops a “more aggressive” version of the stuff, and resumes trials with new chimps, we soon see super-smart chimps quite upset with their surroundings.

And the now-grown baby, Ceasar, is able to rally his primate brethren in what amounts to a prison movie inside a medical thriller.

PETA apparently put its stamp of approval on “Rise,” as the film offers a fairly bleak view of animal testing and animal imprisonment. That arises mainly from the empathetic performance as Caesar by Andy Serkis, who has made a brilliant career, truly, from running around in monochrome suits and having characters digitally superimposed on his form, from his “Lord of the Rings” turn as Golem to Peter Jackson’s “King Kong” (he was Kong) to, now, a hyper-intelligent ape who must carry the emotional heft of the story without dialogue. Rupert Wyatt’s direction favors a tighter, more intimate story than you might be expecting, and in the end, you might be let down if you’re expecting widespread CGI devastation. But there’s nothing here but pure summer popcorn flick. Stick around through the credits to see, with brutal concision, how the world ends. You’ll leave humming Patrick Doyle’s score and recalling that ape shall never kill ape. That old adage, however, doesn’t stop humans from accidentally doing a real number on humans.

— Sam Eifling

“Civil War Medicine … Why Should I Care?”

George Wunderlich, executive director of the National Museum of Civil War Medicine, will speak in room 219 of the College of Public Health, in conjunction with the opening of the exhibit “Life and Limb: The Toll of the American Civil War” on the second floor of the UAMS Library. There will be a reception from 5-6:30 before the lecture. University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences, 7 p.m. 4300 W. Markham.

Preservation Conversations: Historic Windows. The Quapaw Quarter Association presents Historic Windows: How and Why to Save Them, with Brian Driscoll of the Arkansas Historic Preservation Program. Curran Hall, 5 p.m., free. 615 E. Capitol. 501-370-3290.

SPORTS

Arkansas Travelers vs. San Antonio Missions.

Dickey-Stephens Park, 7:10 p.m., $6-$12. 400 W Broadway St., NLR. 501-664-1555. www.travs.com.

CLASSES

Computer classes for seniors. See Aug. 10.

TUESDAY, AUGUST 16 MUSIC

Brian & Nick. Cajun’s Wharf, 5 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www. cajunswharf.com.

Brian Martin. Maxine’s, 8 p.m., Free. 700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. maxinespub.com.

Don’t Stop Please, Gone Was Here. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., Donations. 2500 W. 7th.

501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, through Aug. 18, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Karaoke Night. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 8 p.m.

314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub.com.

Karaoke Tuesday. Prost, 8 p.m., free. 120 Ottenheimer. 501-244-9550.

Karaoke with Big John Miller. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Lucious Spiller Band. Copeland’s, 6-9 p.m. 2602 S. Shackleford Road. 501-312-1616. www.copelandsofneworleans.com.

Tuesday Jam Session with Carl Mouton. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., free. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd.

501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

DANCE

“Latin Night.” Revolution, 7 p.m., $5 regular, $7 under 21. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. www.revroom.com.

EVENTS

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

Farmer’s Market. River Market Pavilions, through Oct. 31: 7 a.m. 400 President Clinton Ave. 375-2552. www.rivermarket.info.

Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

Tales from the South. Authors tell true stories; get schedule at www.talesfromthesouth.com.

Dinner served 5-6:30 p.m., show at 7 p.m. Reserve at 501-372-7976. Starving Artist Cafe, 7 p.m. 411 N. Main St., NLR. 501-372-7976. www.starvingartistcafe.net.

Trivia Bowl. Flying Saucer, 8:30 p.m. 323 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-7468. www.beerknurd.com/ stores/littlerock.

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 17 MUSIC

Acoustic Open Mic. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., free. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www. afterthoughtbar.com.

Alternative Wednesdays. Features alternative bands from Little Rock and the surrounding areas.

Mediums Art Lounge, 6:30 p.m., $5. 521 Center St. 501-374-4495.

Bolly Open Mic Hype Night with Osyrus Bolly

and DJ Messiah. All American Wings, 9 p.m. 215 W. Capitol Ave. 501-376-4000. allamericanwings. com.

Chess. Cajun’s Wharf, 5 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m.

2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www.cajunswharf.com.

Chris Stillman, The Jason Helms Band.

Juanita’s, 9 p.m., $7. 614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www.juanitas.com.

Grim Muzik presents Way Back Wednesdays.

Cornerstone Pub & Grill, through Aug. 31: 8:30 p.m., $5. 314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub. com.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, through Aug. 18, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Karaoke at Khalil’s. Khalil’s Pub, 7 p.m. 110 S. Shackleford Road. 501-224-0224. www.khalilspub. com.

Karaoke. Hibernia Irish Tavern, 9 p.m. 9700 N Rodney Parham Road. 501-246-4340. www.hiberniairishtavern.com.

Karaoke with Big John Miller. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Mayday By Midnight. Stickyz Rock ’n’ Roll Chicken Shack, through Aug. 31: 9 p.m., $5. 107 Commerce St. 501-372-7707. www.stickyfingerz. com.

Mumford’s, Utopia Park. Maxine’s, 8 p.m., free.

700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. maxinespub.com.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 5 p.m., free.

111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel. com/CBG.

EVENTS

Arkansas Poker Championship. See Aug. 10.

Director for play sought. See Aug. 10.

Savor the City. See Aug. 10.

CLASSES

Computer classes for seniors. See Aug. 10.

KIDS

Little Beginnings Toddler Program: Transportation. This class is for children ages 2-4 with a parent and promotes learning through hands-on activities, music making, movement and storytelling. No day care or school groups please.

Old State House Museum, 10:30 a.m., Free. 500 Clinton Ave. 501-324-9685. www.oldstatehouse. com.

THIS WEEK IN THEATER “Caged Heat.” Red Octopus Theater presents this ‘70s-themed sketch comedy, recommended for mature audiences. The Public Theatre, through Aug. 20: Thu.-Sat., 7:30 p.m., $8-$10. 616 Center St. 501-291-3896. www.thepublictheatre.com.

“The Music Man.” A charming huckster posing as a bandleader cons the residents of a small Iowa town, only to fall in love with the town’s librarian and risk being caught to win her over in Meredith Willson’s classic Broadway musical. Murry’s Dinner Playhouse, through Aug. 28: Tue.-Sat., 6 p.m.; Wed., 11 a.m.; Sun., 11 a.m. and 5:30 p.m., $23-$33. 6323 Col. Glenn Road. 501-562-3131. murrysdinnerplayhouse.com.

“My Fair Lady.” The classic tale, based on George Bernard Shaw’s “Pygmalion,” of a voice coach who attempts to transform a Cockney flower girl into a proper lady. The Weekend Theater, through Aug. 13: Fri., Sat., 7:30 p.m., $16-$20. 1001 W. 7th St. 501-374-3761. www.weekendtheater.com.

The Weekend Theater volunteer cleanup.

To prepare for a backstage renovation, volunteers are needed to help clean up and prep the area. This will involve some heavy lifting and many trips to the dumpster. The Weekend Theater, Sun., Aug. 14, 11 a.m. 1001 W. 7th St. 501-374-3761. www.weekendtheater.org.

GALLERIES, MUSEUMS NEW EXHIBITS, EVENTS

BUTLER CENTER GALLERIES, Arkansas Studies Institute, 401 President Clinton Ave.: “Shep Miers: now & then,” wood sculpture, reception 5-8 p.m. Aug. 12, 2nd Friday Art Night; “Renee Williams: New Works,” acrylic on paper; “The Art of Robin Tucker,” Atrium Gallery; “V.I.T.A.L. (Visual Images that Affect Lives),” work by Melverue Abraham, Rex Deloney, LaToya Hobbs, Ariston Jacks, Kalari Turner and Michael Worsham, Con-

Hometown Pride™ n I wonder if there is any place in the union that possesses more unified pride than our fair state. Is there a state that you can drive, border-to-border, and find more residents with the name emblazoned across their chests? Do people in Minnesota or Wyoming get the outlines of their state tattooed on their person?

Last week came the news that the University of Arkansas was trademarking the phrase “We didn’t come to paint” after Coach Bobby Petrino off-handedly used it in a post-LSU-game press conference when asked about a bold fourth-down call.

Between this and the hubbub earlier in the year (now dead) of changing the state nickname from “The Natural State” back to its pre-1953 slogan, “The Land of Opportunity,” it got me thinking about the power of words and capitalizing on those things that unite us.

We’ve branded the state well, but what about our towns and cities themselves?

What follows is a list (in alphabetical order) of proposed slogans to bring more commerce to, and engender more goodwill among, the residents of the areas we love.

(Hat tips to Beau Wilcox and Will Churchill for helping revise/improve these.)

Arkadelphia — “Two schools. One ravine. No prisoners.”

Ash Flat — “Kick-ass name for a town or a baby.”

Bald Knob — “Innocence or prurience? Come find out for yourself, you handsome rascal.”

Batesville — “Yes, we’ve heard the Master Batesville joke. Thanks.”

Bentonville — “Save money. Live cordia Hall, through Aug. 27. 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.Sat. 320-5791.

CHRIST CHURCH, 509 Scott St.: “Studio 8 Exhibit,” work by students of the Arkansas Arts Center Museum School, reception 5-8 p.m. Aug. 12, 2nd Friday Art Night. 375-2342.

CLINTON PRESIDENTIAL CENTER, 1200 President Clinton Ave.: Free admission and audio tours all day Aug. 13, “The Head of the Class Bash,” free family festival on the grounds, first 500 students who enter library will get free school supply-stuffed backpacks, music by the Hope High School Jazz Band and an Elvis impersonator, free watermelons, haircuts and immunizations from the state Health Department, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Aug. 13, President Clinton’s birthday; “A Little More Conversation,” Peter Mars discusses Elvis’ contributions to the world of art and pop culture, noon-1 p.m. Aug. 16 (RSVP at publicprograms@clintonschool.uasys.edu); “Elvis,” memorabilia from films, including Elvis’ red MG from “Blue Hawaii,” through Aug. 21; “Elvis at 21, Photographs by Alfred Wertheimer,” 56 black and white images taken in 1956 by RCA Victor photojournalist, through Sept. 11; free Super Summer Saturdays, kids’ activities, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Aug. 20; exhibits about policies and White House life during the Clinton administration. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.Sat., 1-5 p.m. Sun. $7 adults; $5 college students, seniors, retired military; $3 ages 6-17. 370-8000.

UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS AT LITTLE ROCK: “ROUX,” printmaking by Rabea Ballin, Ann “Sole Sister” Johnson, Delita Martin and Lovie Olivia, Gallery III, Aug. 15-Oct. 2; “Thoughts from China,” ceramic figurative sculpture by James Tisdale, Gallery II, Aug.

Graham Gordy better. They’re going to fire you in two years anyway.”

Brinkley — “You have to pee somewhere on the way to Memphis.”

Bryant — “Because Benton was getting all uppity.”

Cabot — “You got robbed in Little Rock too?”

Camden — “No, you’re thinking of Warren.”

Clinton — “Try not to spend it all at that flea market in Choctaw.”

Conway — “Oh, so NOW you wanna live here? ... Damn drunks.”

El Dorado — “Just 20 minutes away from drive-thru margaritas.”

Eureka Springs — “If you’re into UFOs, dulcimers and Jesus, look no further.”

Fayetteville — “Your daughter had a lot of sex here.”

Fairfield Bay/Heber Springs — “Sure, you can drive your golf cart on a state highway.”

Fort Smith — “Old brothels, abandoned buildings, and the gateway to an even more boring-ass state.”

Harrison — “We only have two black people. (What? We’re just sayin’.)”

Hope — “God only knows who’ll claim us next.”

Hot Springs — “Little City. Big Socio-

economic problems.”

Jonesboro — “You’re not still driving all the way to Missouri for your meth, are you?”

Lepanto — “Whuppin’ up on Tyronza since 1923.”

Monticello — “We’re just glad we made a list.”

Mountain Home — “It doesn’t matter how pretty we are, no one is going to drive four hours to see us.”

Pine Bluff — “Pine Bluff Chamber of Commerce Contest. First prize: One night in Pine Bluff. Second prize: Two nights in Pine Bluff.”

Rogers — “We’re the one with the 200foot crosses.”

Russellville — “Nuclear One = Nuclear Fun.” Searcy — “What? We have dancing now. ... Where’d you hear that?”

Springdale — “No, we’re the one with the 200-foot crosses.”

Star City — “White Hall needs a place to make fun of too.”

Stuttgart — “You spent a month here one weekend.”

Texarkana — “Two cities. One fantastic Bennigan’s.”

Warren — “No, you’re thinking of Camden.”

West Helena — “Where the Blues died. No, sorry — still alive apparently.”

West Memphis — “If you’ll eat crab

legs from a dog track, you won’t mind all the other terrible shit that goes on here.”

Greater Little Rock Edition: Argenta — “Gay men built Athens too, and they had a pretty good run.”

Cammack Village -— “Little Rock’s Lichtenstein.”

The Heights — “Tearing down houses and building big dreams ... on really, really small lots.”

Hillcrest/Stifft Station — “When architecture matters more than your car windows.”

Maumelle — “French for ‘small breasts,’ Arkansan for ‘MILF MOUNTAIN’!!”

North Little Rock — “We see your palatial Presidential Library and raise you a concrete RV park.”

River Market — “Piano bars, crotchrockets and skate home in vom every weekend.”

Sherwood — “If you didn’t live in fucking Sherwood, you’d be at home right now.”

West Little Rock — “Pay for ’em when you can. Burn ’em down when you can’t.”

If you’d like to send a note, pass along your own slogan ideas, or want me to be the Grand Marshal of your parade, send messages to: grahamgordy@gmail.com.

TRINITI AUGUST HEAT REDUCTION

15-Oct. 2; “Advancing Tradition: 20 Years of Printmaking at Flatbed Press,” through Oct. 2, Gallery I, Fine Arts Building. 569-8977. n Benton HERZFELD LIBRARY, 1800 Smithers Drive: Paintings and drawings by Carolyn Voss, through August. 501-778-4766. n Hot Springs TAYLOR BELLOTT NATURE GALLERY AND COFFEE SHOP, 42388 Central Ave., Suite J: Featuring photographs by Taylor Bellott, grand opening 4-8 p.m. Aug. 12. 501-520-4576. n Springdale ARTS CENTER OF THE OZARKS, 214 Main St.: “Artists of Northwest Arkansas,” 17th annual regional art exhibit, through Aug. 26, reception 1-3 p.m. Aug. 13. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Sat. 479-751-5441.

ONGOING EXHIBITIONS

ARKANSAS ARTS CENTER, MacArthur Park: “In Search of Norman Rockwell’s America,” paintings by Rockwell paired with photographs by Kevin Rivoli, through Sept. 18, “Building the Collection: Art Acquired in the 1980s,” through Oct. 9; “Texting: Selections from the Permanent Collection,” through Sept. 11, Strauss Gallery. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Tue.-Sat., 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun. 372-4000.

CANTRELL GALLERY, 8206 Cantrell Road: “Arkansas and the Range of Light,” photographs

by Paul Caldwell, through Sept. 3. 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Mon.-Sat. 224-1335.

CHROMA GALLERY, 5707 Kavanaugh Blvd.: Work by Robert Reep and other Arkansas artists.

10 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Sat. 6640880.

TriniTi nighTClub 1021 Jessie Rd. • Little Rock 501.664.2744 www.facebook.com/trinitilr

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Continued from page 29 COMMUNITY BAKERY, 1200 S. Main St.: Susie Henley, paintings, through August.

GALLERY 26, 2601 Kavanaugh Blvd.: John Bridges, photographs; Baxter Knowlton, paintings, through Sept. 10. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tue.-Sat. 6648996.

GREG THOMPSON FINE ART, 429 Main St., NLR: “Charles Harrington: A Sense of Place,” through mid-August. 664-2787.

HEARNE FINE ART, 1001 Wright Ave.: “Poetry — Works on Canvas and Paper,” charcoal studies and paintings by Lawrence Finney, through Aug. 15.

372-6822.

HEIGHTS GALLERY, 5801 Kavanaugh Blvd.: “Summer Birds,” recent work by Rene Hein, through Sept. 3. 664-2772.

KETZ GALLERY, 705 Main St., NLR: Recent work

by John Kushmaul, in collaboration with Tara Stickley, also work by Tim Jacob. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 11 a.m.-3 p.m. Sat. 529-6330.

L&L BECK GALLERY, 5705 Kavanaugh Blvd.: “Impersonating the Impressionists,” paintings by Louis Beck, through August. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tue.Sat. 660-4006.

LAMAN LIBRARY, 2801 Orange St.: “Feelin’ Groovy: Rock and Roll Graphics, 1966-1970,” through Aug. 21. 758-1720.

LOCAL COLOUR GALLERY, 5811 Kavanaugh Blvd.: Art and jewelry by members of artists’ cooperative. 265-0422.

M2GALLERY, 11525 Cantrell Road (Pleasant Ridge Town Center): “Westland: The Life and Art of Tim West,” artwork by West, photographs by Diana Michelle Hausam. 225-6257.

RED DOOR GALLERY, 3715 JFK, NLR: Buddy Whitlock, featured artist, also work by Lola Abellan, Mary Allison, Georges Artaud, Theresa Cates, Caroline’s Closet, Kelly Edwards, Jane Hankins, James Hayes, Amy Hill-Imler, Morris Howard, Jim Johnson, Annette Kagy, Capt. Robert Lumpp, Joe Martin, Pat Matthews and others.10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat. 753-5227.

REFLECTIONS GALLERY AND FINE FRAMING, 11220 Rodney Parham Road: Work by local and national artists. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Sat. 227-5659.

SHOWROOM, 2313 Cantrell Road: Work by area artists, including Sandy Hubler. 7:30 a.m.-4 p.m.

Mon.-Fri. 372-7373.

STARVING ARTIST CAFE, 411 Main St., NLR: Grav Weldon, photographs, through mid-August.

372-7976.

STATE CAPITOL: “Arkansans in the Korean War,” 32 photographs, lower-level foyer. 7 a.m.-5 p.m.

Mon.-Fri., 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Sat.-Sun. STEPHANO’S FINE ART, 5501 Kavanaugh Blvd.: New work by Stephano, Thom Bierdz, Tony Dow, Kelley Naylor-Wise, Michael A. Darr, Mike Gaines, G. Peebles, Steven Thomas, Alexis Silk, Paula Wallace and Ron Logan. 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Tue.-Sat., 1-5 p.m.

Sun. 563-4218.

THE ART LOFT, 1525 Merrill Drive: Studios and art gallery. 251-1131.

ONGOING MUSEUM EXHIBITS

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ARKANSAS INLAND MARITIME MUSEUM, NLR: Tours of the USS Razorback submarine. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Wed.-Sat., 1-6 p.m. Sun. 371-8320.

CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL MUSEUM VISITOR CENTER, Bates and Park: Exhibits on the 1957 desegregation of Central and the civil rights movement. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. daily. 374-1957.

HISTORIC ARKANSAS MUSEUM, 200 E. Third St.: “Playing at War: Children’s Civil War Era Toys,” from the collection of Greg McMahon, through Jan. 10; “Mid-Southern Watercolorists 41st Annual Exhibition,” through Aug. 13, Trinity Gallery; “Reel to Real: ‘Gone with the Wind’ and the Civil War in Arkansas,” artifacts from the Shaw-Tumblin collection, including costumes and screen tests, along with artifacts from the HAM collection, including slave narratives, uniforms and more; through April 30, 2012. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Sat., 1-5 p.m. Sun. $2.50 adults, $1.50, $1 children for tours of grounds. 324-9351.

MacARTHUR MUSEUM OF ARKANSAS MILITARY HISTORY, MacArthur Park: Exhibits on Arkansas’s military history. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat., 1-4 p.m. Sun. 376-4602.

n When The Box, long one of Little Rock’s finest purveyors of delicious greasy burgers, closed shop on South Main Street last April to make room for a USA Drug, owner Kelly Joiner promised to reopen in the old Wooley Electric Supply building on the corner of Seventh and Ringo by June 2010.

More than a year later, just when we were beginning to despair, we heard Joiner tell KUAR’s Ron Breeding that the restaurant is just weeks away from opening. The delay stemmed from replumbing, rewiring and installing new floors, Joiner said. Old-line Box fans worried that the magic will be gone, take heart: The grill and fryer from the South Main location are moving to Seventh Street. n This week’s update on Browning’s Mexican Grill’s incremental opening: At press time, the restaurant remained open only for dinner, from 5 p.m.-10 p.m. daily serving a limited menu. The full menu might debut by Wednesday according to a Browning’s employee and lunch could begin by the end of the week, but that was the word last week, too.

Restaurant capsules Every effort is made to keep this listing of some of the state’s more notable restaurants current, but we urge readers to call ahead to check on changes on days of operation, hours and special offerings. What follows, because of space limitations, is a partial listing of restaurants reviewed by our staff. Information herein reflects the opinions of the newspaper staff and its reviewers. The newspaper accepts no advertising or other considerations in exchange for reviews, which are conducted anonymously.

We invite the opinions of readers who think we are in error.

Restaurants are listed in alphabetical order by city; Little Rock-area restaurants are divided by food category. Other review symbols are:

B Breakfast

L Lunch

D Dinner

$ Inexpensive (under $8/person)

$$ Moderate ($8-$20/person)

$$$ Expensive (over $20/person)

CC Accepts credit cards

LITTLE ROCK/ N. LITTLE ROCK AMERICAN 65TH STREET DINER Blue collar, meat-and-two-veg lunch spot with cheap desserts and a breakfast buffet. But hurry — breakfast closes down at 9 a.m. on the dot, and the restaurant doesn’t reopen until 10 a.m. for lunch. 3201 West 65th St. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-562-7800. BL Mon.-Fri. CAJUN’S WHARF The venerable seafood restaurant serves up great gumbo and oysters Bienville, and options such as fine steaks for the non-seafood eater. In the citified bar, you’ll find nightly entertainment, too. 2400 Cantrell Road. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-375-5351. D Mon.-Sat. COPPER GRILL Comfort food, burgers and more sophisticated fare at this River Market-area hotspot. 300 W. Third St. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-375-3333. LD Mon.-Sat. DAVE’S PLACE Downtown’s premier soup-and-sandwich stop at lunch, and a set dinner spot on Friday night to give a little creative outlet to chef supreme David Williams. Beef, chicken and fish are served with continental flair. 201 Center

■ dining At home at Homer’s East Little Rock fixture is popular for good reason. n Where to place Homer’s in the Greater Little Rock home cookin’ scene? Certainly in the pantheon.

At the top of the heap, probably, if receipts are the most important measure of success. On a recent Wednesday near noon, there must’ve been 150 people crammed in the squat, cinderblock building, with six or seven twiddling their thumbs, waiting for a table. They were there for the atmosphere, which is boisterous because of the large crowds and echo-y cement walls and inviting thanks to the Hooter’sat-grandma’s-house vibe, where deeply tanned, buxom waitresses clad in short shorts and low cut tees rush past the folksy knickknacks (and framed pictures of WON’T DISAPPOINT: Homer’s catfish. jets, courtesy of nearby Dassault Falcon Jet) lining the walls. Would you believe that Homer’s is popular with ago when Arkansas homegrown tomatoes politicians and other local muckety-mucks? hadn’t yet been shriveled by the heat. And Of course, the crowds aren’t trekking out of course there’s a rotating selection of near the airport just for the waitresses and vegetables, like mashed potatoes, creamed decor. The food is as down-home delicious spinach, whole kernel corn, rice and gravy as you’d expect for a restaurant that’s been (rice is a vegetable, right?), pinto beans and in business for 25 years. The menu has two purple hull peas. components, the fixed side where burgers, Everything we sampled on our two visits sandwiches, salads and such live and the was good to outstanding. On our first visit, specials side where dishes come and go. our first choice, the chicken tenders, had Though like a lot of meat-and-threes, a been 86ed, and even though it wasn’t on handful of the daily specials (usually $6.79) the menu, our waitress suggested chicken are fairly ingrained: meatloaf on Monday, fried chicken as a close alternative. It was Southern fried chicken on Tuesday, a good suggestion. Pounded flat, liberally fried catfish on Wednesday, chicken and breaded and topped with thick white gravy, dumplings and chicken and dressing on it was among the best chicken fried chicken Thursday and fried catfish again on Friday. we’ve found in town. With more certainty, To keep things fresh, Homer’s also mixes in we can say that the smothered cabbage we a rotating selection of other specials, dishes ordered as a side is the best we’ve ever had. like an 8 oz. salmon croquette, chicken fried Maybe it’s cooked with eight sticks of butter chicken, smothered beef liver, spaghetti and a slab of bacon, but it’s still a vegetable and meat sauce and baked ham. Often a and we’re keeping it in the good-for-you relatively healthy item features in the mix, category. Ditto for the turnip greens, which too. An “Arkansas homegrown tomato” were smoky and cooked to perfection. stuffed with tuna salad and accompanied by Black-eyed peas were also cooked just right, fresh fruit made the menu back a few weeks with plenty of some kind of pork product

in the mix. The tomato relish was really good, too – tangy, bold and bright green.

In the face of some stiff competition here in Arkansas, the twice-weekly catfish-special holds up well. Homer’s fried fillets were moist and meaty, just a bit spicy and had none of that funky river taste you get sometimes. As such, they didn’t need lemon slices, and weren’t served with any.

The jumbo fried shrimp were also meaty and satisfying. The first time we tried ’em, they were a bit cold, though still tasty. On round two, they were fresh out of the fryer, hot and crunchy, with an excellent batter. The fried shrimp platter comes with six of the little dudes, and while that was filling, a couple or three more certainly wouldn’t hurt.

Much is made of the giant dinner rolls at Homer’s, and while they were good, they were also a tad on the sweet side for some of us, who prefer the dry, crumbly, perfectly not-sweet cornbread, which is also the ideal sponge for soaking up the juice from those tasty turnip greens.

St. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-372-3283. L Mon.-Fri., D Fri. DAVID FAMILY KITCHEN Call it soul food or call it downhome country cooking. Just be sure to call us for breakfast or lunch when you go. Neckbones, ribs, sturdy cornbread, salmon croquettes, mustard greens and the like. Desserts are exceptionally good. 2301 Broadway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$.

501-371-0141. BL Sun.-Fri. FERNEAU Great seafood, among other things, is served at the Ice House Revival in Hillcrest. With a late night menu Thu.-Sat. 2601 Kavanaugh Blvd. Full bar, All CC. $$$-$$$$.

501-603-9208. D Tue.-Sat. FRANKE’S CAFETERIA Plate lunch spot strong on salads and vegetables, and perfect fried chicken on Sundays.

Arkansas’ oldest continually operating restaurant. 11121 N. Rodney Parham Road. No alcohol, All CC. $$. 501-225-4487.

LD daily. 400 W. Capitol Ave. No alcohol, All CC. $$. 501-3721919. L Mon.-Fri. FRONTIER DINER The traditional all-American roadside

Cantrell Road. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-666-8482. BL Mon.-Fri. D daily.

RIVERFRONT STEAKHOUSE Steaks are the draw here — nice cuts heavily salted and peppered, cooked quickly and accurately to your specifications, finished with butter and served sizzling hot. 2 Riverfront Place. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-375-7825. D Mon.-Sat. RUDY’S OYSTER BAR Good boiled shrimp and oysters on the half shell. Quesadillas and chili cheese dip are tasty and ultra-hearty. 2695 Pike Ave. NLR. Full bar. 501-771-0808.

LD Mon.-Sat. SO RESTAURANT BAR Call it a French brasserie with a sleek, but not fussy American finish. The wine selection is broad and choice. Free valet parking. Use it and save yourself a headache. 3610 Kavanaugh Blvd. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$.

501-663-1464.

diner, complete with a nice selection of man-friendly breakfasts and lunch specials. The half pound burger is a two-hander for the average working Joe. 10424 Interstate 30. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-565-6414. BL Mon.-Sat. GRAMPA’S CATFISH HOUSE A longtime local favorite for fried fish, hush puppies and good sides. 9219 Stagecoach Road. 501-407-0000. LD. HAYESTACK CAFE Southern cooking, po’boys and hearty breakfasts with an emphasis on family recipes. 27024 Kanis Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-821-0070. BLD Tue.-Sun. KIERRE’S KOUNTRY KITCHEN Excellent home-cooking joint for huge helpings of meat loaf and chicken-fried steak, cooked-down vegetables and wonderful homemade pies and cakes. Breakfasts feature omelets, pancakes, French toast and more. 6 Collins Place. NLR. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$.

501-758-0923. BLD Tue.-Fri., BL Sat. RED DOOR Fresh seafood, steaks, chops and sandwiches from restaurateur Mark Abernathy. Smart wine list. 3701 Old

BRIAN CHILSON

what’scookin’

Homer’s Restaurant

2001 E. Roosevelt Road 374-1400 Quick bite

You can’t go wrong with either of the sandwiches we tried. The chicken fried steak sandwich is as decadent (and good) as it sounds, while the burger approaches hubcap proportions and probably deserves consideration when talking about the best in town. The fries, notably, seem to be double-fried. Next stop for us? Breakfast, served weekdays starting at 7 a.m.

Hours

7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday through Friday

Other info

Credit cards accepted

Continued on page 32 www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 31

No. 1014 Edited by Will Shortz

■ CROSSWORD

Across 1 Degrees of excellence?

5 Book that begins “Now in the first year of Cyrus king of Persia …”

9 Bumbling 14 Architect Saarinen 15 Fly high 16 Legendary battlers 17 Rub elbows with an expert on some Japanese cars?

20 Beginning 21 180ʼs, slangily 22 How the sun proceeds … and how to read the answers to 17-, 37- and 56Across 26 Johnny with a guitar

ANSWER L E C A R S K I D B A B E

E N O L A

A D M I T

N O B

A J O L A N O X T I O N T C H A L E V O W E T H C H O

30 Like much social interaction nowadays 31 Put on the back burner 32 Show on TV 35 Honorary law degree: Abbr.

36 Pageant wear 37 Notice lightcolored MacBooks?

41 Local dialect 42 “___ Lay Dying” 43 A.A.A. suggestion 44 ___ Gay 45 Marks on a ranch 48 Meat request 49 How the jet stream proceeds … and how to read the answers to 17-, 37- and 56Across 53 Landing place for Santa

55 Come together 56 Comment like a “Seinfeld” character?

62 Premier 63 “Weʼre ___!”

64 Gives a good whuppinʼ 65 Hulu offering 66 Meat request 67 Suffix with towel

Down 1 Tea type 2 Decorative tattoo dye 3 Smelting byproduct 4 Johannesburg township 5 Abbr. on a city limit sign 6 Place to see lions and sea lions 7 Gamma follower 8 Excite 9 Words before “tomato” or “potato” 10 Show on TV 11 Outer: Prefix TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 12 “The tongue of the mind,” per T S W A M I H O P Cervantes W H O Y A M A L L O N O V E R P N E U 13 Tongueproduced sound S O R E S C A G G S 18 Memo abbr.

T A T A B O I L 19 Asian holiday A M A I C A N R O A M 23 Spicy stews R X E R S O L A 24 Source of some S A N D S A S I A power?

B A J A I B E A M 25 Makes lovable 27 Detest P L A Y D O M E O I R E P I T A P H 28 Was a bad night watchman E N L E I S B E E G N O M E S K U L L 29 “Steppenwolf” author E Y R E E A S E L 31 Shoe attachment R U D D D I E G O 32 According to

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2

3

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5

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8

9

15

17

18

12

23

24

25

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30 33

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Puzzle by Peter Collins

33 Colgate competitor, once 34 Wind turbine part 36 Martin or Louis 38 Put up with 39 Singer/actress Zadora 40 It might give you legal problems: Abbr.

45 Transpire

46 Gloomy 47 Setting for some oratory 49 Stir-fry pan 50 Shoot for 51 Artery implant 52 Like Hemingwayʼs prose 54 Twistable treat

TRIO’S Fresh, creative and satisfying lunches; even better at night, when the chefs take flight. Best array of fresh desserts in town. 8201 Cantrell Road. Full bar. $$-$$$.

501-221-3330. LD Mon.-Sat. YOUR MAMA’S GOOD FOOD Offering simple and satisfying cafeteria food, with burgers and more hot off the grill, plate lunches and pies. 220 W. 4th St. No alcohol, All CC. $. 501-372-1811. BL Mon.-Fri.

ASIAN

40 42

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28

36

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41

53

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37

Restaurant capsules

13

21

22

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11

19

20

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10

16

56 Al Sharpton, e.g.: Abbr.

57 Wallach of “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” 58 Prefix with life or size 59 Golferʼs concern 60 Actress Gardner 61 Burns behind a camera

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information.

Online subscriptions: Todayʼs puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year).

Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay.

Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

CHI’S CHINESE CUISINE No longer owned by Chi’s founder Lulu Chi, this Chinese mainstay still offers a broad menu that spans the Chinese provinces and offers a few twists on the usual local offerings. 5110 W. Markham St. All CC. $-$$. 501-604-7777.

LILLY’S DIMSUM THEN SOME Innovative dishes inspired by Asian cuisine, utilizing local and fresh ingredients. 11121 N. Rodney Parham Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$-$$$.

501-716-2700. LD daily.

MT. FUJI JAPANESE RESTAURANT The dean of Little Rock sushi bars offers a fabulous lunch special and great Monday night deals. 10301 Rodney Parham Road.

Beer, Wine, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-227-6498. LD daily. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road.

501-227-6498.

OSAKA JAPANESE RESTAURANT Veteran operator of several local Asian buffets has brought fine-dining Japanese dishes and a well-stocked sushi bar to way-outwest Little Rock, near Chenal off Highway 10. 5501 Ranch Drive, Suite 1. $$-$$$.

501-868-3688. LD. PAPA SUSHI Hibachi grill with large sushi menu and Korean specialties. 17200 Chenal Parkway. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-821-7272.

SAIGON CUISINE Traditional Vietnamese with Thai and Chinese selections. Be sure to try to authentic pho soups and spring rolls. 6805 Cantrell Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-663-4000. L Tue.-Fri., D Tue.-Sun. SUSHI CAFE Impressive, upscale sushi menu with other delectable house specialties like tuna tataki, fried soft shell crab, Kobe beef and, believe it or not, the Tokyo cowboy burger. 5823 Kavanaugh Blvd. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-663-9888. L Mon.-Sat. D daily.

BARBECUE CHATZ CAFE ‘Cue and catfish joint that does heavy catering business. Try the slowsmoked, meaty ribs. 8801 Colonel Glenn Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-5624949. LD Mon.-Sat. WHITE PIG INN Go for the sliced rather than chopped meats at this working-class barbecue cafe. Side orders — from fries to potato salad to beans and slaw — are superb, as are the fried pies. 5231 E. Broadway. NLR. Beer. $-$$. 501-945-5551. LD Mon.-Fri., L Sat.

EUROPEAN / ETHNIC AMRUTH AUTHENTIC INDIAN CUISINE Indian restaurant with numerous spicy, vegetarian dishes. 11121 N. Rodney Parham Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$. 501-2244567. LD daily.

CAFE BOSSA NOVA A South American approach to sandwiches, salads and desserts, all quite good, as well as an array of refreshing South American teas and coffees. 701 Kavanaugh Blvd. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-614-6682. LD Tue.-Sat., BR Sun. DUGAN’S PUB The atmosphere is great, complete with plenty of bar seating and tables. There’s also a fireplace to warm you up on a cold day. The fried stuff is good. Try the mozzarella sticks. 403 E. 3rd St. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-244-0542.

GEORGIA’S GYROS Good gyros, Greek salads and fragrant grilled pita bread highlight a large Mediterranean food selection, plus burgers and the like. 2933 Lakewood Village Drive. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-753-5090. LD Mon.-Sat. HIBERNIA IRISH TAVERN This traditional Irish pub has its own traditional Irish cook from, where else, Ireland. Broad beverage menu, Irish and Southern food favorites and a crowd that likes to sing. 9700 N Rodney Parham Road. Full bar, All CC. $$.

501-246-4340.

LAYLA’S Delicious Mediterranean fare — gyros, falafel, shawarma, kabobs, hummus and babaganush — that has a devoted following. All meat is slaughtered according to Islamic dietary law. 9501 N. Rodney Parham Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-2277272. LD daily (close 5 p.m. on Sun.). 612 Office Park Drive. Bryant. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-847-5455. LD Mon.-Sat. TAJ MAHAL The third Indian restaurant in a one-mile span of West Little Rock, Taj Mahal offers upscale versions of traditional dishes and an extensive menu. Dishes range on the spicy side. 1520 Market Street. Beer, All CC. $$$. (501) 881-4796. LD daily.

YA YA’S EURO BISTRO The first eatery to open in the Promenade at Chenal is a datenight affair, translating comfort food into beautiful cuisine. Best bet is lunch, where you can explore the menu through soup, salad or half a sandwich. 17711 Chenal Parkway.

Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-821-1144. LD daily, BR Sun.

ITALIAN BRAVO! CUCINA ITALIANA This upscale Italian chain offers delicious and sometimes inventive dishes. 17815 Chenal Pkwy. Full bar, All CC. $$$. 501-821-2485. LD daily. BR Sun. BRUNO’S LITTLE ITALY This more-than-half-century-old establishment balances continuity with innovation in delicious traditional and original fare. The pizza remains outstanding. 315 N. Bowman Road. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-224-4700. D Mon.-Sat. GRAFFITI’S The casually chic and ever-popular Italian-flavored bistro avoids the rut with daily specials and careful menu tinkering. 7811 Cantrell Road. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-224-9079. D Mon.-Sat. PIZZA CAFE Thin, crunchy pizza with just a dab of tomato sauce but plenty of chunks of stuff, topped with gooey cheese. Draft beer is appealing on the open-air deck — frosty and generous. 1517 Rebsamen Park Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$.

501-664-6133. LD daily.

PIZZA D’ACTION Some of the best pizza in town, a marriage of thin, crispy crust with a hefty ingredient load. Also, good appetizers and salads, pasta, sandwiches and killer plate lunches. 2919 W. Markham St. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-666-5403. LD daily.

ROCKY’S PUB Rocking sandwiches an Arkie used to have to head way northeast to find and a fine selection of homemade Italian entrees, including as fine a lasagna as there is. 6909 JFK Blvd. NLR. Beer, Wine. $$. 501-833-1077. LD Mon.-Sat.

MEXICAN JUANITA’S Menu includes a variety of combination entree choices — enchiladas, tacos, flautas, shrimp burritos and such — plus creative salads and other dishes.

And of course the “Blue Mesa” cheese dip. 614 President Clinton Ave. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-372-1228. L Mon.-Fri., D Thu.-Sat. TACO MEXICO Tacos have to be ordered at least two at a time, but that’s not an impediment. These are some of the best and some of the cheapest tacos in Little Rock. 7101 Colonel Glenn Road. No alcohol, No CC. $. 501-416-7002. LD Wed.-Sun.

32 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

AUGUST 10, 2011

Natural light floods into the spacious living room from the wall of windows. Parts of the home are being salvaged; the fireplace, for example, is going to Wisconsin with Coates’ oldest daughter.

Eulogy for a house

A piece of mid-century modern architecture meets the wrecking ball

BY KATHERINE WYRICK PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRIAN CHILSON

T

he house stands apart from its neighbors— in its stone construction and style and the way it’s positioned on its pretty plot. On this quiet dead-end, tree-lined street of brick and wood houses, it is a wink at modernity, a clear departure from the traditional.

Built in early ’40s by Frank Erhart of the architecture firm Erhart, Eichenbaum, Rauch & Blass as his residence, it marked a shift away from much of the architecture of its day. This kind of architecture was much more organic in form and less formal. The style emphasized creating structures with ample windows and open floor-plans with the intention of opening up interior spaces and bringing the outdoors in.

David and Lynn Coates have lived here for over 30 years, raising three girls and a long-lived Lhasa Apso named Bandit. “It’s like outside being inside,” confirms Lynn. “It’s very Frank Lloyd Wright-ish,” she adds, gesturing to the expanse of windows in the living room and the

graceful curve of its alcove. “It’s designed so that you can get outside from almost every room ... It’s just so open,” she says.

With their children grown and gone, they’ve recently sold the house, as have their neighbors to the north, to a young family with two boys who plan to raze both houses and build a large one with a generous lawn. This is, of course, par for the course in this Heights neighborhood, located in close proximity to the Country Club and golf course. Fortunately, word has it that the new owners are enlisting the help of widely respected architect Tom Fennell, responsible for some of the city’s more attractive structures. Other older homes in the area, however, haven’t been so lucky, like one a couple of blocks away; where a charming historic country cottage (built in Little Rock’s early days) once stood now sits an oversized monstrosity bearing a striking resemblance to a Captain D’s.

Continued on page 34

hearsay ➥ Beauty school drop-in. For great salon treatments at even greater prices, visit THE SALON PROFESSIONAL ACADEMY in NLR on JFK. There you can get manis, pedis, facials, cuts, color treatments and more. Check out the web site for details: mysalonacademylittlerock.com. ➥ A shoe in. BOX TURTLE just received a new shipment of Toms in metallic tweeds in shades of pewter and gold. Perfect for fall! The metallic tweed wedges (with cork heel) are also out-of-sight. ➥ Prime portraits. This month CANTRELL GALLERY offers black and white film photography sittings by Sean Moorman of Little Rock. They are now booking sittings in their gallery on Thursday–Saturday, August 25–27. There’s a limited number of sittings available, so call now, 224-1335. To see samples of Moorman’s work, visit seanmoorman.com/ ➥ For locavores and carnivores. KITCHEN CO. announces a new Farm to Table Series of cooking classes beginning on August 15. Partnering with the Arkansas Sustainability Network, Kitchen Co. offers classes designed to show you how easy it is to buy local meat and produce.

There will be a representative from the ASN on hand to discuss their program and answer your questions. The offering on the 15th, All About the Burger, will focus on local grain fed beef and local produce. ➥ New shop on the block. THE POLKA DOT SCENT SHOP is now open in SoMa, 110 E. 15th Street, behind Boulevard Bread Co. and The Green Corner Store. The shop offers a variety of hand-poured, fragrant, 100% soy candles and handmade bath and body products.

Open Monday-Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. For more information call 766-8695.

ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT TO THE ARKANSAS TIMES • AUGUST 10, 2011 33

The front entrance faces the wide yard and opens up onto a gentle slope of lawn. Constructed of handsome orchard stone from Tennessee, the house exists in harmony with its surroundings.

The cabinetry in the living room, added 10 years ago, was crafted by renowned local wood-worker Keith Newton. Made from Mozambique wood, it fits seamlessly with the style of the house. The window seat, with its cylindrical skylight, is the perfect resting spot.

A giant beatific Buddha sits serenely in an enclosure by the back entrance.

A mosaic alcove in the hallway has held shrines and objets d’art in times past.

In full disclosure, I grew up across the street from the Coates (in a house that very well could meet the same fate some day). From an early age, I appreciated its otherness. It was the “cool house” in many ways; for one, I immediately identified as the place to score junk food (forbidden chez moi) like Lucky Charms, sour cream and onion chips, Pop Tarts and Cokes.

The Coates were also the first family I knew to have cable (a clunky box with thick black but-

tons), a VHS and Atari (am I dating myself?).

It was where I built a clubhouse with the Coates girls and climbed in the light-dappled canopies of magnolia branches (there are three). I coveted the older girls’ basement lair, two bedrooms adjoined by a dressing room and walk-in closet. The Coates house was also the designated safe spot during tornados, a place where neighbors would congregate as the sirens wailed, the parents sipping cocktails

34 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT TO THE ARKANSAS TIMES

and the kids playing Space Invaders.

To my young eyes, this split-level home seemed the height of sophistication—urban and swank, it had it all.

Of course, today’s realities are different: the converted basement regularly floods, leaks spring up behind the stylish grasscloth adorning the walls of the living and dining rooms, and the layout, with its galley kitchen and small bedrooms, doesn’t meet the needs of the modern family who wants enormous kitchens and “great rooms.”

I consider this as I watch as my 9-year-old

daughter and a friend play in the hammock tucked away in a corner of the yard. As the ceiling fans on the pale stone patio stir lazily in the heat, I reflect on the hours I spent in this very spot (and in the kitchen scavenging for sugar cereal), and I silently say my good-byes.

I comfort myself with the thought that even though the neighborhood of my childhood is gradually becoming unrecognizable to me, there are some constants—enduring pleasures like the shade of a magnolia on a summer day, the companionship of girlhood friends and a well-built backyard fort.

bydesign

BY KATHERINE WYRICK PHOTOGRAPHY BRIAN CHILSON

by design (n.) A place where we check in with tastemakers about town, from decorators to clothes designers and others in between.

2616 Kavanaugh Blvd. • Little Rock 501.661.1167 • www.shopboxturtle.com

This Friday

:

2nd Friday art Night aUGUsT 12

Gypsy Bistro

Mollie Yoder stands before some of her Restored Relics in Riverdale.

Restored Relics

BUTLER CENTER !!!"#$%&'()'*%'("+(,

FOR ARKANSAS STUDIES

Christ Episcopal Church

Putting a fresh face (and patina) on new antiques

W

hen we enter the expansive space of Debi Davis Interior Design in Riverdale, we’re greeted by a soothing palette of creams and an artful arrangement of French and Italian antiques.

The stylish and striking Mollie Yoder emerges from the back, dressed in neutrals that complement her elegant surroundings, a tangle of delicate gold strands around her neck. Yoder, a relatively new addition to the D&D team, heads up the Reborn Relics line, a collection of antique-inspired mirrors, home accessories and fragments made by craftsmen right in D&D’s showroom.

Yoder joined Restored Relics about a year ago, as a business manager and accountant. She soon, however, traded in vertiginous heels and fashionable threads for a pair of overalls and a paintbrush to help in the studio. A former art school student, Yoder says, “It was a natural transition for me from running the business to helping with the art. I like to have

my hands in both.” She’s also helped build the Reborn Relics brand, which started as a side project a little over four years ago.

“Some people don’t want to pay for a real antique but they want the look and the aesthetic, and these are very high quality. By the time we get done with it, you can’t tell it’s a reproduction. That’s the goal.” A glance around the showroom confirms this. I play a little game of trying to spot the reproductions and fail each time. So much for my discerning eye!

But that’s just what the gals of D&D are hoping—not to trick clients, but to offer them an alternative to the often pricey real deal.

come ride the free trolley!

shop local

Visit D&D Interior Design’s web site to see a video on how Reborn Relics are made.

Debi Davis Interior Design 2222 Cantrell Rd. (501) 221-2032 danddinteriordesign.com

support your community Small Town

501-225-M2LR M2LR.COM ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT TO THE ARKANSAS TIMES • AUGUST 10, 2011 35

NATIVES GUIDE Movie theaters W

ith the sweat-hammer of summer falling on our brows with exceptional fury (did it really get up to 114 in Little Rock last week?) this is the season when all warm-blooded mammals begin to seek out the cool and the dark. Don’t fight your primal urge to hibernate until the heat blows over. Why not visit one of Central Arkansas’s fine (and not-sofine) movie theaters and catch a flick?

Little Rock is lucky in that we’ve got theaters to meet almost any cinematic taste and cash flow budget — from 3-D extravaganzas viewed by hundreds to art-house productions seen by only a few fellow cinemaphiles.

LAKEWOOD 8 2939 Lakewood Village Drive, NLR 501-758-5354 Another good choice for a quick and convenient night out is the Lakewood 8 theater in North Little Rock. The theater isn’t as new as some and could use some updating, so paying almost $10 just to get in the door seems a bit much. TICKETS: Matinee (before 6 p.m.): 2-D $7.25, 3-D: $10:25. Eve36 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

BRIAN CHILSON

RIVERDALE 10 CINEMA 2600 Cantrell Road 501-296-9955 The age of the inner-city movie house is mostly long gone, but Hillcrest and Heights residents have come to love the convenience of the Riverdale 10 Cinemas. Situated just a short hop down the hill for lots of Little Rock folks, with reasonable deals at the concession stand, relatively low ticket prices, and screenings often sparsely attended except for blockbusters on opening weekend, it’s kind of the perfect date night theater for all but those looking to impress their squeeze by throwing around money (see Rave below). To boot, it’s one of the last independent theaters in town, so you know your hard-earned dough is staying in Little Rock. TICKETS: Matinee (before 6 p.m.): $6. Evening: adult $7.50, children (4-11) and seniors $6.50; $6 for police and military with I.D. Talent show every other month. Dolby digital sound. 35mm projection. No 3-D.

RAVE MOTION PICTURES

ning 2-D: adult $9.25, children and seniors $7.25, $8.25 military. Evening 3-D: adult $12.25, $10.25 children and seniors, $11.25 military with I.D. Digital sound. Mix of digital and 35mm projectors.

MARKET STREET CINEMA 1521 Merrill Drive 501-312-8950 At Market Street Cinema, the phrase “you have to suffer for your art” leaps to mind. The theaters are small and/ or narrow, and sometimes the AC is on the blink. The sound is often fairly terrible. The box office and snack bar only take cash. Still, it’s Little Rock’s only arthouse theater. Owner Matt Smith may be cutting corners on the amenities, but he’s doing so to keep the projectors spooling beautiful little films that would never, ever, in a million years get a chance to be shown anywhere else in Little Rock. TICKETS: Matinee (before 6 p.m.): $6. Evening: adult $8, children (under 11) $6. 35mm projectors. Cash only, but ATM on premises.

TANDY MOVIES 10 4188 E. McCain Blvd, NLR 501-945-0169 Yeah, it smells kinda like 100-year-old popcorn. The seats are cramped for the long-legged and/or wide-bottomed, and the movies are long past Coming Soon. But can you really complain about seeing a flick in a movie theater for less than the price of gallon of gasoline?

For a person on a budget looking for a theater experience that won’t break the bank, this is a heck of a good deal. It even shows 3-D. TICKETS: Mon. night: 3 or more 2-D tickets $.75 each; 3 or more 3-D tickets $2.75 each. Tue.: 2-D $1, 3-D $3. Wed.-Thu.:2-D $1.50, 3-D $3.50. Fri.Sat. night: 2-D $2, 3-D $4. Digital sound.

Mix of digital and 35 mm projectors.

UA BRECKENRIDGE 12 1200 Breckenridge Dr. 501-224-0990 On the surface, Breckenridge 12 looks a whole lot like other theaters in the area: an older theater with some updates, ticket prices on par with competitors,

and highway robbery at the snack bar.

But its Tuesday night special, which features tickets to all the films it’s currently showing — from just-released blockbusters, to stuff that some might want to catch again — for only $5 each, sets it apart. To boot, it offers the same $5 deal every day for all films starting between 4 and 6 p.m. TICKETS: Matinee (before 4 p.m.): 2-D $7.25, 3-D $10:25. Twilight matinee (4 p.m. to 6 p.m.): 2-D $5, 3-D $8. Evening: 2-D adults $9.25 children $7.25; 3-D adult $12.25, children and seniors $10.25. Digital sound. Mix of digital and 35 mm projectors. Offers a new closed-captioned film for the hearing impaired every week.

CHENAL 9 IMAX THEATRE 17825 Chenal Parkway 501-821-2616 The Chenal 9 IMAX is a clean, pleasant experience and has the only humungoscreen Imax. It runs big blockbusters like Chris Nolan’s “Batman” flicks on the 50-by-70-foot-plus Imax screen, which — while kind of a neck-straining overload — is definitely a novelty experience for the avid movie-goer. It also offers a special “twilight” deal for all films starting between 4 and 5 p.m., with $5 2-D films and $8 3-D. TICKETS: Matinee (before 6 p.m.): 2-D $7.75, 3-D, $10.00. Twilight matinee (4-5 p.m.): 2-D $5, 3-D $8. Evening: 2-D adult $9.50, children and seniors $7.25; 3-D adult $12, children and seniors $9.25. Digital sound. Digital projection.

RAVE MOTION PICTURES COL. GLENN 18 18 Col. Glenn Plaza Drive 501-687-0499 Rave Motion Pictures Col. Glenn 18 is the all stadium-seating, all-digital, fullyimmersive movie experience. Big, flashy, shiny, clean, always comfortable and still relatively new, it attracts big crowds on Friday and Saturday nights, with some of the big blockbuster showings sold out ahead of time. TICKETS: Matinee (before 6 p.m.): $7.25. Adult 2-D $9.25, children and seniors 2-D $7.25. Adult 3-D $13, children and seniors 3-D, $11.

All digital sound and projection. All stadium seating.

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www.arktimes.com • AUGUST 10, 2011 37

Thanks for asking n Moron wants to know if it’s hot enough fer me and I’m like yeah, yeah it is, it’s sho nuff hot enough fer me, thanks for asking, but this is what’s happening on the backroads by the rivers of my memory as Glen used to sing — I can’t breathe, I can’t pee, I can’t eat yet don’t lose weight, I can’t hear the TV unless the people on there shout like Garrett Morris, I can’t see except in gauzy, gauzier, or maxipad triplicate, I’m allergic to most things I’m fond of, which means no goat’s rue or shaved buckeye in my Caesar like the rest of you lucky dogs, I have recurring bouts with shingles, my liver is shot, my prostate a studded mace, I’m kept awake nights by an football injury, an old gunshot wound, an old dogbite, an old accidental kneecapping with a baseball bat, I’m having stabbing pains that give me to think that an alien infant might burst through my abdominal wall any second now, I have arthritis, bursitis, psoriasis, at least three glandular disorders, an erratic pyeloric valve like Ignatius J. Reilly, reflux, bad teeth, bad feet, really bad feet, skin cancers, gallstones, and back spasms that lay me low, I have headaches like Michelle B. except mine aren’t from a walnut-size brain carom-

Bob L ancaster ing around a cranial gymnasium, the mouth-corner dribble gives me to think mini strokes, I’m old, I flub around like a manatee, I’m stifled, I never figured it out, I never got the hang, I’m varicosed and phlebitic, I have big toes shaped like pit viper heads, I have what looks on the X-rays like a saguaro cactus growing on my Id, I have what all my relatives call whelps, I have the Pine Bluff scab, I have the Cabot frakes, I pretty well keep the Smackover drizzles, I have the Flagstaff halvsies and Corky’s lament, at least once a week I have the Magnolia yips, I survived a Campbellite exorcism once but the puzuzu or screwtape still abides to horn and fork at soft spots where the spirit’s willing but the flesh is weak, there’s something I got from hog-nosed bats, something else akin to consumption from a blackbird roost abandoned during the presidency of Rutherford B. Hayes, I go all the way back to breakbone malaria, I’m

often disoriented from bombardment by the same rays that took Warren Carpenter, an ominous chiasm on the back of the tongue, the pins still cause me grief that my late mother-in-law paid an old gypsy woman to stick into the vitals of a cornshuck doll made in my likeness, it seems like they said Alzheimer’s but I’m just not sure, and I’m not sure now what it is I’m not sure of, I was hooked at various times on clay, tobacco, Afrin, and a tranquilizer that cost an arm and a leg and turned out to be a placebo, I don’t have leprosy except for all practical purposes, I’ve got a scattering of what I’m pretty sure are buboes but nobody else thinks so, my nether polyps would barnacle a cruiser, the TV lawyers are pretty persuasive of mesothelioma, the ranched neck is probably traceable to a car wreck that I don’t remember having but that this damn nuclear-coolingtower collar is bound to be evidence of, I just know fracking is at the back of the nervous exhaustion, I’m in line to having my esophagus stretched — really — that procedure being in the family legacy, Cousin Leon just now recuperating from it, I have one of those IRAs that pays a negative interest, it was 115 degrees F. for almost a fortnight one day last week, the idiots have taken over and brought Western civilization to its knees, the Great Crash that will return us all to savagery having just recently

C

commenced and picking up momentum nicely, expect Texas to break off and slip away into darkness first, it being already pretty much there, and sundry other unpleasantnesses characteristic of August.

Comes the time when you fixate on such pecker gnats and toestubs and lose sight of the bigger picture and the brighter side. You no longer think, well, this sucks but it beats a hacking cough, or well, it could be like Jerry N. when, on top of everything else, the rat crawled up through a sewer pipe and surfaced in Jerry’s commode and took a gaping bucktoothed hunk out of Jerry’s haunch as he sat there completing some personal business. Rats biting you on the butt in the sanctuary of your own home is when it begins to get iffy, dicey, when the foundations start to shake. You suck it up or it begins to get away from you. I know that. And I’m committed to doing the right thing. Really I am. Maybe I am.

I had a legitimate topic for today, I swear I did — something conventional, respectable, ponderous, in the blovial tradition that has dulled Wonder State sensibilities with local, national, and international dispatches since 1819, but a moron says something in passing and it becomes suddenly obligatory to throw it all up and vent. It happens, it happens even without the sh- frontloaded. Happens in August a lot.

S

LASSIFIED LASSIFIED

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Miscellaneous

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38 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES 38 AUGUST 10, 2011 • ARKANSAS TIMES

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from Here

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