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INCONSEQUENTIAL NEWS QUIZ: ALL POLITICS IS LOCAL EDITION
1. In late February, after signing a bill into law that exempts the list of concealed weapon permit holders from the state’s Freedom of Information Act, Lt. Gov. Mark Darr shot himself in the foot, metaphorically speaking. What was his blunder? A) Literally shot himself in the foot. B) Failed to return the one bullet that Gov. Mike Beebe entrusts him with whenever he goes out of state. C) Issued a statement that included the full name of a permit holder from Carlisle who’d visited his office to thank him for keeping her information private, with Darr writing: “Her story is an example of why I felt the urgent need to sign this bill into law.” D) Showed off his own handgun at a press conference and then began absentmindedly scratching his ear with it as he spoke until a State Trooper gently removed it from his hand.
2. Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill Halter had an interesting idea for Arkansas students this week. What was it? A) During the last five minutes of every high school basketball game, hose down the court with Wesson oil. B) Teachers legally required to retire once their Kardashian Hotness Quotient falls below “Kourtney.” C) A free college education for all Arkansas high school students who graduate with a G.P.A. over 2.5, mostly paid for by the Arkansas Scholarship Lottery. D) All physics courses will henceforth be taught in a drained swimming pool by professional skateboarder Tony Hawk.
3. Last week, Arkansas Republicans in the General Assembly voted for a small tax increase after getting the approval from someone who has described the public’s reactions to tax hikes like finding a severed rat head in a Coke bottle. “We branded the Republican Party as the party of not raising taxes — branding is important,” this person said. “Republican elected officials who vote for tax increases are rat heads in a Coke bottle. They damage the Republican brand.” A) Rep. Nate Bell B) Sen. Jason Rapert C) Grover Norquist D) Asa! Hutchinson
4. Someone placed a physical metaphor for the 89th General Assembly outside the State Capitol building last week. What was it? A) Large oil painting featuring Sen. Jason Rapert of Conway reclining on a cloud and providing the Holy Transvaginal Probe to Eve. B) A wrecked-out Lincoln Continental, with the hood and trunk lid accordioned from an accident. C) Large, reeking pile of human dung, with millions of dollar bills mixed in. D) Giant, walk-through replica of a woman’s vagina, so Republican legislators can feel what it’s like to literally insert themselves into women’s ladybits instead of just metaphorically.
5. Which of the following is not an actual piece of legislation put forward for consideration by the 89th General Assembly? A) A bill naming Springdale the chicken capital of the world. B) A bill making it a crime to sell a used mattress or pillow. C) A bill insisting the federal government has no power to regulate firearms. D) A resolution designating March 23 “Arkansas muddin’ day.”
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INSIDER, CONT. Later, after the Times posted a blog post critical of Clemmer, the Arkansas House Republican Caucus linked to a video of Clemmer’s speech in a Tweet that said, “Check the video that has @ArkTimes warring on women who dare to be conservative.”
The ‘private option’ isn’t a done deal While no Republican has endorsed the “private option” plan for healthcare coverage expansion, key leaders are clearly taking ownership of the new framework. But going forward with expansion still requires 75 percent approval from both the House and the Senate, and that may remain a tough climb. Rep. Nate Bell, a prominent voice in the conservative wing of the House, recently told the Times that — while he has great respect for the Republicans at the center of the negotiations — if forced to vote now, he would vote no. “At the end of the day, I like the direction that things are going but unless somebody can show me some better numbers … I haven’t seen any math yet that works. I’m still in the cautiously optimistic but largely skeptical column. I don’t see workable math. If I had to vote today based on what I know I would be a no,” Bell said. (This interview took place before the Arkansas Department of Humans Services released new cost projections for the “private option” [see page 10] ). If, as Republicans believe, private insurance will offer better care, why should the current pool of disabled or extremely poor Medicaid recipients not get the same benefit as the expansion pool? Bell wondered. “The issue for me is the underlying quality of care. When we have folks that currently are in that bottom 17 percent that aren’t necessarily getting good quality care and we’re going to turn around and offer what is probably higher quality care to other people just because of timing, that makes me nervous. I want the best possible end results for the folks who truly are unable to provide health care for themselves.” But … “I believe that Obamacare is an absolutely unsustainable program. Since that’s my fundamental belief, I don’t know that hastening its demise helps anybody. Fundamentally, I’d like to see the legislative process work and it be reformed into something that would actually work as opposed to just further hastening the fiscal demise of the nation.” www.arktimes.com
MARCH 21, 2013
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ANSWERS: C, C, C, B, D