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COMMENT

Diagnosing the GOP Republican Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana has famously stated that the Republican Party has to stop being “the Stupid Party.” I don’t think “the Stupid Party” is going to change or be replaced by another more realitybased party any time soon, so we need to figure out what makes its members the way they are.

Some think that the election of any Democrat to the White House causes them to go berserk. During Bill Clinton’s first term, the Republican Congress stupidly shut down the government — that’s why the current Republican efforts to constantly hold the budget hostage are so scary. During Clinton’s second term, the Republicans stupidly wasted 60 million tax dollars to find some excuse to impeach him.

However, even recent Republican administrations have had to put up with their own extremists whom they called the “Crazies.” President George H.W. Bush and his defense secretary Colin Powell feared the war-loving neo-cons who wanted an invasion of Iraq. Those “Crazies” finally took control of our government under BushCheney and gave us tax cuts for the rich, the Afghan and Iraq Wars, and a massive debt.

Bush-Cheney and “Bush’s Brain” Karl Rove had to contend with another faction that even they called the “Crazies.” The “Crazies” in this case were the religious fundamentalists that are such an important voting bloc for Republicans. This helps explain the relentless war against women’s rights with countless antiabortion laws being promoted around the nation where Republicans control the legislatures. Arkansas’s new Republican legislature has over-ridden Gov. Mike Beebe’s vetoes and passed the most restrictive anti-abortion

laws in the nation. Because they are clearly unconstitutional, they will be contested. That means that Arkansas’s attorney general may have to waste thousands of taxpayer dollars to defend the indefensible.

Schizophrenia is one explanation for Republicans’ bizarre behavior.

They do appear to live in their own private universe, totally detached from the real world the rest of us inhabit.

However, they all share the same universe created by their collective minds. One schizophrenic does not share the same visions as another. This is unfortunate since schizophrenia can often be medically treated. Nevertheless, I would love for a sample group from the Fox-Republican-TEA Party to be placed under such supervision. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, and Michele Bachmann were treated for schizophrenia and began to think rationally? Maybe we could then recommend it for the rest of them!

Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman toyed with the idea that Republican politicians and pundits may be zombies. After the colossal failures of trickle-down economics under Hoover, Reagan, and W. Bush, you would expect it to be dead. After the Great Depression and the Great Recession, you would think the bad ideas that caused them would be laid to rest. The voters in the Election of 2012 rejected returning to those eras.

But, like zombies, the extreme rightwingers, the radical-reactionaries, have risen from the dead and are still promoting tax cuts for the rich, dismantling Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid, and cutting spending on everything except the military.

My own explanation for why the “Stupid Party” is the way it is has been documented in two studies. Joe Brewer of Cognitive Policy Works wrote an article titled “How will the

99% Deal with the 70 Million Psychopaths?” In it, he contends there is currently 1 percent of the world’s population that can be clinically classified as having psychopathic tendencies.

Dr. Martha Stout, who wrote “The Sociopath Next Door,” contends that 4 percent is more likely — that would mean there are 280 million psychopaths on the planet!

The ranking members of the “Stupid Party” consist of followers of Leo Strauss, Ayn Rand, and billionaires’ think tanks. Leo Strauss believed the right-wing could achieve and keep power by using the Big Lie, perpetual warfare and religion. Ayn Rand claimed in her novels that greed is good and government regulation is bad. Billionaires, like the Koch brothers, have created numerous think tanks, like the Heritage Foundation, to promote voter acceptance of the laissez-faire policies of the Gilded Age — an era of government handouts to Big Business with a hands-off policy.

Justice can be defined as having the ability to achieve what you want or need as long as no harm is done to others. Sociopaths are willing to do anything to get what they want or need regardless of who gets hurt. The concepts of right and wrong or doing what is best for all do not concern them. The major players in the “Stupid Party” are not Crazies, schizophrenics or zombies. They are sociopaths.

David Offut El Dorado

From the web In response to last week’s Arkansas Reporter, “Body police,” about a bill to ban certain body modification procedures: This is the same sort of denouncement of culture/rights that brought upon the conviction of the West Mem-

phis 3. “Oh look,” there is someone who is different than me or who has different bodily practices, let’s make sure they feel marginalized and let them know “they” are not welcome and/or make them criminals. If you say you stand for less government, then stand for less government, or at least be clear when you make such broad statements. ark_by_proxy In response to an Arkansas Blog post about the gall of state Rep. David Meeks to tweet, “More inappropriate remarks

by Rep. John Walker from the well.

This is 2013,” after Rep. John Walker, a 76-year-old black man from Hope who was a foot soldier in the Civil Rights movement, spoke about the history of race-based voter suppression during a debate on a voter ID bill: Meeks reminds me of a 14-year old kid I once taught who scoffed at a concentration camp survivor because “that old man doesn’t understand what it’s like in the ’hood!” The survivor had just told them that it was almost impossible for them to understand the horrors and hardship of the holocaust.

Recalling the 14-year-old reminds me of Meeks. Similar problems. Selfcentered and ignorant of history.

Unwilling to listen to the wisdom and experience of his elders.

As I’ve noted before, the voter ID law is just another case of the Chicken Littles of this land forcing everyone to wear helmets because they think the sky is falling.

JakeDaSnake

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MARCH 21, 2013

5

EDITORIAL

EYE ON ARKANSAS

Out of step

R

Left-winger

ick Crawford, who represents one of the poorest congressional districts in America, voted against an increase in the minimum wage at about the same time a whiny millionaires clique was criticizing him for being too liberal.

Short of jailing poor people, it’s hard to please the Club for Growth.

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MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

BRIAN CHILSON

R

epublican legislators as a group favor deregulation of corporations and strict regulation of individuals. They would free a company from all zoning laws, and deny a woman any authority over her own body. The right to bear arms is the only individual right they care for.

It was surprising then to see Rep. Randy Alexander (R-Springdale) deviating from the party line. Addressing a bill to allow the sale of unpasteurized milk, Alexander said, according to news accounts, that “people should be able to put anything into their body they want to.” He continued: “Will there be an idiot that causes a problem for himself and others? Sure, you can’t fix stupid.” Alexander sounds like a closet supporter of medical marijuana, perhaps of legalized marijuana generally, although his party has been strongly on the other side of that question, steadfast in trying to keep people from putting things into their bodies, and punishing them if they do. The putative front-runner for the Republican gubernatorial nomination next year is a man ardently opposed to letting people decide these matters for themselves. Maybe Alexander can talk some sense, and some mercy, into Asa Hutchinson.

Hutchinson is a former U.S. drug czar known for sending federal agents after cancer sufferers who used marijuana to relieve their pain. He recently joined other discredited drug warriors in asking the Justice Department to stop Colorado and Washington from allowing the sale of marijuana, although the voters of those states have approved the sales. Alexander’s work will be cut out for him; “mean” is hard to fix too.

Rep. Allen Kerr (R-Little Rock) also is at odds with his party, apparently. Speaking for a bill to require that special elections be held in May or November, when primary and general elections are held, Kerr said that cities and counties had scheduled elections for times when they knew the vote would be light, “trying to control the outcome of the election, and in my opinion that’s completely un-American and just wrong.”

Kerr’s criticism could be applied with equal validity to a Republican-sponsored bill requiring photo identification from voters. That bill (SB 2) is intended to control the outcome of elections by reducing the number of voters likely to vote Democratic — minorities, the elderly, the poor.

(And yet Kerr is recorded, inexplicably, as voting for SB 2, seemingly having fallen into error and un-Americanism himself. What was it Rep. Alexander said?)

IN BLOOM: It’s beginning to look a lot like spring at the state Capitol.

Back to the train wreck

A

vacation took me from Arkansas for three weeks, but the Great Legislative Train Wreck of 2013 was as close as our iPad while we ogled wombats and wallabies and other wonders of New Zealand and Australia.

The daily accounts from the Arkansas Blog were discouraging. In the end, I couldn’t help but wonder if an Australian in muscular, shiny Sydney would see my home as the “magnet” envisioned by our new Republican majority.

Certainly not Australia’s female prime minister, a product of a socialist student group who supports abortion rights, backed a carbon tax and once told the Washington Post, “I think it would be inconceivable for me if I were an American to have turned up at the highest echelon of American politics being an atheist, single and childless.” (Did I forget to mention Australia has some strict gun control laws, too.)

For all the furious service to its electoral base offered up by the legislative majority in the first two months of the legislative session, the worst is yet to come. I don’t mean to diminish the damage done by the Republican fixation on guns and fetuses and wreckage of environmental regulation. But the still bigger Republican prize lies ahead.

Republicans are working a crafty end-game to prevent expansion of health coverage to all Americans. The disingenuous fog some Republicans have produced about private insurance coverage as an alternative to Medicaid expansion is meant to 1) leave the door open to wreckage of the remaining Medicaid system for the working poor and 2) build financial pressure for defeat of health expansion at the national level. We already know, thanks to Medicare and existing private plans, that the private market can’t deliver the same health coverage for less money. I guess we should be happy if, in the short run, at least some expansion of coverage is accomplished.

House Speaker Davy Carter, itching to run for governor and depicting himself disingenuously as a moderate while presiding over the reactionary putsch, promises up to $150 million in tax cuts without saying what ser-

vices would be sacrificed to pay for it. Others, like Rep. Charlie Collins, itch for windfall income tax cuts for the wealthy. Those who’re already sitting on mostly inherited billions — Waltons, SteMAX phenses, Murphys, Hussmans BRANTLEY maxbrantley@arktimes.com — ache to wreck egalitarian public schools with a crazy quilt of charter schools, private school vouchers, and student transfer schemes guaranteed to resegregate many school districts, both racially and economically.

The worst of the public school attacks has to be the private school voucher bill with money coming out of the pockets of districts that students flee. Those public schools would also have to accommodate private schoolers in extracurricular activities like football and pay their transportation, too. This bill opens with a legislative declaration of the inadequacy of Arkansas schools generally, an invitation to another Lakeview lawsuit if there ever was one.

New Zealand, land of the Hobbit and a $13.50-anhour minimum wage, certainly wouldn’t seem likely to provide many immigrants for a state that refused to raise the $6.25 state minimum wage.

And on it goes. One Republican wants to roll back hard-won safeguards against cruelty to animals. Another wants to teach the Bible in public schools. Another wants to end public spending on women’s health exams and birth control pills. Another wants to allow staff at church schools to carry guns. Another wants to make it official state law to ignore federal laws the Republican majority doesn’t like.

Extremism is the new normal. I’d like to believe that this isn’t representative of mainstream moderate thinking, but elections are the only practical measure.

Call me crazy. I don’t think low taxes, poor government services, disrespect for women, scant respect for the environment, more guns and an increasingly intrusive religionist central government would be much of a siren song in the places I’ve just visited.

OPINION

GOP now aids the rich

F

or nine weeks, the legislature has been finding ways to increase the government’s dominion over people’s lives: limiting the number of days after a woman gets pregnant before her body becomes government property; requiring the poor, elderly and disabled to get a photo ID from the government before exercising their right to vote; putting more government doings and data out of the reach of the citizenry; prescribing the tattoos the government will permit people to sketch onto their skin, lifting people’s protections from gun marauders and vigilantes — make your own list.

This week the Republican legislature will turn its attention in the opposite direction: staying the government’s heavy hand against the citizenry. Actually, only a few of the citizenry — rich white men and manufacturers mainly — but they count, too, don’t they?

The Republican majority thinks the government has its hand too deeply in the pocketbooks of the richest Arkansans and industries, and it’s going to give them relief.

Rep. Warwick Sabin has a competing bill. It would give a tax break to low- and middle-income families, but a Democrat is

the sponsor and it is aimed at helping the wrong people, so it has no chance.

Sabin’s bill helps most of the 1.2 ERNEST million tax filers in DUMAS Arkansas and ends the regressive nature of the tax brackets, but it also would collect some money from people with fairly high incomes. You know how Republicans feel about that.

The big Republican bill, HB 1585 by Rep. Charlie Collins, would adjust the top income bracket and lower the top marginal rate from 7 to 6.875 percent.

The House speaker, Davy Carter, says we must cut taxes on investment income, so another bill, now only a shell, will cut taxes on capital gains.

The GOP income tax bill would take $28 million out of the treasury at first and $57 million when its full impact is felt.

Here is how it will affect you. If you’re in the bottom 40 percent of taxpayers, earning up to $29,000, you will get no cut. If you’re in the middle fifth, earning between $29,000 and $49,000, your taxes will be shaved about $7 a year.

But if you’re in the top 1 percent of tax-

Ten years later

P

ossibly you remember “Shock and Awe.” No, that’s not the title of a Rolling Stones concert tour, but of the United States’ bombs-over-Baghdad campaign that began exactly 10 years ago.

American soldiers went pounding into Iraq accompanied by scores of “embedded” journalists seemingly eager to prove their patriotism and courage.

A skeptic couldn’t help but be reminded of spectators who rode from Washington in horse-drawn carriages to witness the battle of Bull Run in July 1861. They too expected a short, decisive conflict. Even on NPR, invading Iraq was treated like the world’s largest Boy Scout Jamboree, instead of what it turned into: arguably the worst military and foreign policy blunder in U.S. history.

Skepticism, however, was in short supply. Spooked by 9/11 and intimidated by the intellectual bullies of the Bush administration, American journalists largely abandoned that professional virtue in favor of propaganda and groupthink.

Among scores of examples, the one that’s stuck in my craw was allegedly liberal Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen. Reacting to Gen. Colin Powell’s anti-Saddam speech to the United Nations General Assembly — since repudiated by its author — Cohen wrote that “Iraq not only hasn’t accounted for its weapons of mass

destruction but without a doubt still retains them. Only a fool — or possibly a Frenchman — could conclude othGENE erwise.”

LYONS “War fever, catch it,” this fool wrote.

I added that to anybody capable of remembering past intelligence hoaxes it wasn’t clear that Powell’s presentation answered any of the objections put forward by doubters like George H.W. Bush national security advisor Gen. Brent Scowcroft.

“To any skeptic with a computer modem, moreover, it became quite clear why Powell’s speech failed to convert many at the U.N,” my Feb. 5, 2003, column continued.

“Key parts of [his] presentation were dubious on their face. That alleged al Qaeda base in Kurdish-controlled northern Iraq?

If it’s what Powell says, why hasn’t it been bombed to smithereens? British and U.S. jets have been conducting sorties in the nofly zone for months. Because it’s a dusty outpost not worth bombing, reporters for The Observer who visited the place quickly saw.

“The mobile bio-war death labs? Please.

Even if [UN inspector] Hans Blix hadn’t told The Guardian that U.S. tips had guided inspectors to mobile food inspection facili-

payers, making $346,000 or more, your tax cut will average $1,275, although you will have to turn around and give 35 percent of it to the IRS because you will lose the federal deduction for those taxes.

Half of the $57 million savings would go to people reporting above $155,000 a year. The richest will fare far better than that, presuming a capital gains tax cut of some size passes. The state already exempts 30 percent of a person’s longterm capital gains, and the Republican bill will exempt even more or provide a lower tax rate than the state collects from people who work for wages.

Let’s talk about those capital gains, which are profits on the sale of property, including stocks and other securities.

In 2011, Arkansans reported about $1.4 billion in net profits from investment transactions. After excluding 30 percent of the long-term capital gains from taxation, the state levied income taxes on less than $1.1 billion. About half of that, $513.3 million, was income reported by 1,304 people (mostly husbands and wives) whose gains totaled more than $500,000.

They’re the people Carter and his party intend to help.

Obviously, they are not the neediest.

Even Republicans won’t make that argument. Rather, they are the “job creators.”

See, if one of the billionaire Walton heirs

can keep a few million dollars more of his profits he will tell Wal-Mart to open more stores and hire more greeters.

Of course, history shows no such trend.

When Arkansas exempted 30 percent of long-term capital gains from taxation in 1999, effective the next year, and Congress slashed capital gains tax rates in 2001, they were followed by some of the worst job records in modern history, for the state and the nation. On the other hand, when Congress in 1986 required the taxation of capital gains the same as wages and salaries it fueled the big job gains in 1987-89 that became the Reagan economic miracle.

The big Republican justification for tax cuts is that Arkansas is a high-tax state, which keeps business from investing in the state. That is pure baloney. As of 2010, we were 47th.

But Republicans rely on the helpful Tax Foundation, which shows Arkansas as a high-tax state by using a formula that assigns to Arkansas some of the high taxes collected and spent in other states. It says high taxes on minerals, tourism and many businesses in those states actually are passed on to consumer states like Arkansas, which then becomes a high-tax state.

I’m not kidding. That’s why the Republicans say we have to cut taxes for our wellto-do and reduce support of education.

ties, anybody who’s dodged herds of camels, alties in Washington journalism for being goats and sheep and maniacal drivers on proven dramatically wrong. bumpy Middle Eastern highways had to The safest place during a stampede is laugh. Bio-war experts told Newsweek the always the middle of the herd. idea was preposterous. ‘U.S. intelligence,’ My own reward was getting Dixie it reported ‘after years of looking for them, Chicked out of a part-time teaching job has never found even one.’ halfway through a series of columns about “Then there was the embarrassing fact Iraq. Supposedly, Hendrix College ran out that key elements of a British intelligence of money to pay me. My most popular offerdocument cited by Powell turned out to ing had been a course about George Orwell. have been plagiarized from magazine arti- Oh well.

But the purpose here isn’t to blow my cles and a California grad student’s M.A. thesis based upon 12 year old evidence.” own horn. (OK, maybe a little.) It’s to point I could go on. In fact, I did. out that not everybody got buffaloed. Many “This isn’t conservatism,” I concluded. thousands of American and European citi“It’s utopian folly and a prescription for end- zens took to the streets to protest what they less war.” Although the short-term outcome saw as imperialist folly.

I was also very far from being the only wasn’t in doubt and Americans could be counted upon to rally around the troops, journalist to notice that the Bush adminisit struck me as almost mad to imagine that tration’s case for Saddam Hussein’s imagithe U.S. could convert Iraq into a Middle nary “weapons of mass destruction” didn’t Eastern Switzerland by force of arms. add up. Anybody reading the astringent disThat was basically the Frenchman’s con- patches of Knight-Ridder (now McClatchy) clusion too. Conservative Foreign Minister reporters Jonathan Landay, Warren Strobel, Dominique de Villepin said that although John Walcott and Joe Galloway couldn’t “We all share the same priority — that of help but know the score.

But the prediction I’m proudest of was fighting terrorism mercilessly” invading Iraq without just cause would likely “exac- a cynical observation I made after morons erbate the divisions between societies, cul- began smashing Dixie Chicks CDs and retures and peoples, divisions that nurture naming fried potatoes “Freedom Fries.” terrorism.”

A former Hendrix student e-mailed me If it were up to me, the Post columnist’s proof: a photo of a vending machine in a byline would read like a prize-fighter’s rural Arkansas truck-stop.

Sold only for the prevention of disease: robe: Richard “Only a Fool or a Frenchman” Cohen. However, there are no pen- “Freedom Ticklers.” www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

7

PEARLS ABOUT SWINE

Dark days in Hog-land

A

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week ago, right here, Pearls dipped its toe into the prognostication waters ever so lightly, projecting a couple of modest year-end benchmarks for a Razorback basketball team that was in another swoon. I suggested that the team would take not one, but two games in Nashville, then march into the NIT with heads high.

Another big hack, and another pronounced whiff on my part. Gotta stop trying.

Arkansas gagged again on another team’s floor, and was solely responsible for its own pitiful showing. For as mediocre as Vanderbilt has been all season, it is a Division I college basketball team, and by extension it can generally hit 20-footers if afforded chances to do so. The Hogs had three moribund performances against the sub-.500 Commodores this year, winning the first by 23 points only because Vandy was historically inept in its own right. In the SEC tournament, with enough at stake to justify 40 minutes of passion, the Razorbacks summoned...about 3½. And they found it far too late in the proceedings for it to matter.

The insult of another quick exit from the conference tournament was followed by an uncomfortable threeday stretch where Vandy unexpectedly smashed Kentucky, thereby exacerbating the frustration of the Hogs’ loss, and Ole Miss ended up winning the crown and getting “rewarded” with a No. 12 seed. This was a year where Arkansas, had it bothered to show up for a handful of weekend road tilts, would have likely found itself in the field.

Instead, the Hogs were passed over for the NIT (or they may have rebuffed an invite), and at this point a season that had encouraging moments now looks more like the kind of campaign that John Pelphrey oversaw his last three years: smoldering wreckage with likely casualties ahead. The next few weeks will be filled with rumors of defecting players, and already there are rumblings to that effect concerning a couple of players who grossly underperformed. Even though there are no seniors on this roster, it is likely that this team won’t look quite the same next year.

Mike Anderson’s two years deep

into a seven-year deal, and it’s not as if Year Three has the appearance of being make or break BEAU just yet, but the WILCOX reality is that Anderson’s first team likely overachieved and his second one fell way short of the bar. Marshawn Powell returned from a bad knee injury to have a mostly effective junior season, and the Hogs added some vitality with four raw newcomers, but the end result was one more win and a lot more aggravation. Because of the sour finish, there’s a contemptuous pall over the program that everyone hoped was a bygone circumstance.

But it’s very real, and there’s a sense of panic in the fan base. What if Anderson wasn’t up for this? Worse yet, if he can’t correct it, could anyone? Bud Walton Arena, for what it’s worth, did get some of its cachet back as the Hogs marched to an 18-1 record at home this year and wiped out the entire SEC slate there for the first time in 15 years. That’s easily the most positive development in a season that just went into the gutter, but it also makes the complete lack of a postseason less tolerable. Teams that win 18 games at home ostensibly should be no worse than a mid-level entry into the field of 68 (or 96 or whatever the hell the tourney makeup is now).

The conference’s fading quality rating over recent years has left the door splayed wide for some hungry team to get fed up, stick its foot in the breach, and just bolt right back into national prominence.

Arkansas isn’t just stubbing its toe; it’s dropping a dumbbell on its foot. Were this a decade-long stretch of uninterrupted, gross futility, it wouldn’t be as troubling, but the Hogs have done a few things right from time to time under all three of Nolan Richardson’s successors. All the successes were generally modest, but substantial enough to justify a heightened sense of optimism about the state of affairs. Every time the needle has moved favorably, though, it flips violently backward. We’ve been left with this pervading sense that the jewel’s just not gonna shine again, no matter who tries to polish it.

Single Parent Scholarship Fund (SPSF)

3rd Annual Perfect Gift Campaign No more flowers, and not another tie. This year, honor your parent and help another parent.

When you make a contribution of $50 or more, your name and the name of your honoree(s) will appear in the May edition of Soirée (for Mom) and the June 10th edition of Arkansas Business (for Dad).

All honorees will receive a card from SPSF acknowledging your contribution. All donors who sponsor scholarships will receive a letter from a student recipient.

Your gift provides scholarships and support services to high achieving, single-parent students in Pulaski County.

“When you bring single parents out of poverty, they bring their children with them.”

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Robinson Center Music Hall April 1-2, 2013 (501) 244-8800 • (800) 982-ARTS

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Groups of 10 or more receive a discount, call (501) 492-3318

www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

9

W O RDS

Oh my particle I’ve read articles, or tried to, about the Higgs Boson, which is “The subatomic particle scientists say gives everything in the universe mass.” So I knew that the HB is also referred to in the media as “The God Particle.” I didn’t know that name was offensive to scientists until I heard a discussion of the controversy on “All Things Considered,” the National Public Radio program.

“All Things” staffers said they’d received complaints from scientists when they used the “God Particle” name, the complainants arguing that the Higgs Boson has to do with science, not religion, and that it is offensive and misleading to suggest otherwise. The “All Things” people interviewed Dick Teresi, who in 1993 co-wrote a book, “The God Particle: If the Universe is the Answer, What is the Question?” His co-author was Leon Lederman, a Nobel Prize-winning physicist. Teresi said he deserved the blame or credit for the “God Particle” name, but he said it was sort of a light-hearted working title that he expected the publisher to reject. Both he and Lederman were atheists, he said, with no intent to suggest that God had the Higgs Boson in His hand. To Teresi’s surprise, he said, the publisher liked the title, and the term “God Particle” was on

its way. He mentioned the “Big Bang” as another scientific theory that has acquired a popular nickname.

DOUG SMITH

dougsmith@arktimes.com “I am a stylist, closet editor and personal shopper.”

Is a closet editor an editor who has to work in tight quarters, possibly employed by a desktop publisher? Or an editor who is in the closet figuratively, keeping his sexual orientation secret? (In that case, closeted editor would be more grammatically correct.) Or someone hired to go through your closet and throw out all the unstylish items? I could use somebody like that, although I probably couldn’t afford as much editing as is needed.

“An Iowa native and graduate of Drake University, Ash has never stepped foot in Fayetteville, and he did not interview for the coordinator job with Bielema.” Set foot is the original, but stepped foot works about as well, I suppose. It’s closer to the real thing than many of the mistakes of idiom that we see.

WEEK THAT WAS

Holy Week &Easter March 28 - MAUNDY THURSDAY - 12 noon & 6 pm, Sanctuary March 29 - GOOD FRIDAY - “Stations of the Cross”

12 noon & 6 pm, Sanctuary

March 30 - EASTER EGG HUNT - 10:30 am - 12 noon Allsopp Park, 3700 Cedar Hill Rd., Little Rock For 2nd grade & under March 31, EASTER SUNDAY    

 



  10

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

It was a good week for…

EXPANSION PROJECTIONS. The Arkansas Department of Human Services said that offering people health coverage through the “private option” would result in only slightly higher costs to the federal government than offering coverage via traditional Medicaid expansion.

NOT BEING THE WORST. The North Dakota Legislature has now passed the anti-abortion bill that Sen. Jason Rapert wanted to pass in the first place. It offers no exceptions for rape victims or women carrying gravely deformed fetuses. It requires ultrasounds for all women, even before a heartbeat is readily detectable, and thus means an invasive vaginal probe.

The faintest sign of life, as early as five weeks, before many women know they are pregnant, means an abortion is illegal.

A BIG IDEA. Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill Halter proposed to give a free college education for all high school graduates with a 2.5 GPA. He’d base it on lottery receipts, augmented by grants and some general revenue support.

It was a bad week for…

CLASS ACTION PLAINTIFFS. The U.S. Supreme Court ruled on the side of business interests in a controversial case over

handling of class action lawsuits arising in Miller County, Arkansas. In short, the decision makes it easier for defendants to move class action cases from state to federal court.

RAW MILK. A bill to allow Arkansas farmers to sell unpasteurized milk failed by a roll-call vote in the House Agriculture, Forestry, and Economic Development Committee. Looks like a mix of Democrats and Republicans among the yeas and the nays.

A RED, WHITE AND BLUE BROADWAY BRIDGE. Pulaski County Judge Buddy Villines bowed to popular demand (and, supposedly, a higher maintenance cost) to ditch his plan to paint the replacement Broadway Bridge red, white and blue. A lighting scheme might still be possible, if he can dig up yet more money somewhere to go with the county-taxpayer-subsidized graftedon superstructure intended to give the span a little aesthetic appeal.

HISTORY EDUCATION. The state’s historians are deeply lamenting HB 1262,

by Rep. Jon Eubanks (R-Paris), that, according to retiring Arkansas History Education Coalition President Tom Dillard, “essentially guts the requirement for Arkansas history continuing education standards for teachers.”

Join us for a reading, audience Q & A, and book signing by

Young Adult Nonfiction Writer THE OBSERVER NOTES ON THE PASSING SCENE

Cashocracy THE OBSERVER HAS WATCHED the 89th Arkansas General Assembly like a high-speed wreck between an armored car full of money and a loaded manure spreader shown in slow motion. This state, mostly pragmatic and caring, managed to stave off the Teabagger Tide much longer than most, but now it’s come and we find ourselves being rapidly flushed back to the caves with the rest of the South.

Every day during this session seemed to bring some fresh hell, some new backwardness, some new lunacy, some new embarrassment and/or outof-state-employer-repellent for this land we love. There will always be those who want to steer Arkansas and the rest of the South back to the good ol’ days that were only good for a very small, very select few. Now those folks and their agents have seized the wheel of the ship of state. Rocks, ahoy!

Among the latest hellish ideas has been cookie-cutter legislation requiring an ID to vote, an idea which has been rammed through in Republican strongholds all over this country as a way of defeating the largely non-existent crime of in-person voter fraud.

While such laws sound good on the surface (you present an ID at the bank, why not the polling place?) they do, without a doubt, disenfranchise large numbers of the poor, the elderly, and minorities — groups that often vote Democrat, damn them coincidences.

Don’t drive? Live in a rural community and can’t make it to a gubmint office to get an officially-official ID? Don’t have the money to pay for gas to get there and an ID fee? Too bad. You can’t vote.

That’s Cashocracy for ya.

For the middle class and wealthy, an ID requirement is a five-second inconvenience of fumbling the driver’s license you already have out of your wallet or purse. For the poor, the sick, or the infirm, it’s yet another reason to add to the mountain of reasons to stay home on Election Day. After all, why go to all that trouble and expense over one little vote?

The Observer was reminded of our seething rage over the issue when we received an e-mail last week from

Carla Killough McClafferty Thursday, March 28

Event begins at 6 p.m.

Free and open to the public R.J. Wills Lecture Hall

Campus Center Second Floor Pulaski Technical College Main Campus 3000 West Scenic Drive North Little Rock

Pulaski County Circuit Judge Wendell Griffen. He’s a particularly good egg, even among the folks who wear a robe to work — willing to get loud on the topics he cares about, on or off the bench.

The email was titled: “What the Voter ID People Don’t Understand,” and was accompanied by a photo of the stately judge, standing in his chambers, holding a framed piece of paper.

Over his shoulder is a poster bearing the image of three bathroom doors, the doors bearing the words: “Men,” “Ladies,” and “Colored.” An African-American judge, in the State of Arkansas, standing before that image in a country with an African-American president. Oh, how far we’ve come, and oh, how much we have to lose.

But I digress.

“I am holding my mother’s 1963 poll tax receipt,” the judge wrote. “It was among the papers I found following her death in 2002. I keep it framed and on display in my court chambers because I still remember my parents, maternal grandmother, and other elders picking cotton to earn the money to pay the poll tax. Their struggles, and the indignities they endured, are what inspired people like Rep. John Walker and me to become lawyers. James Baldwin once remarked, ‘Ignorance, allied with power, is the most ferocious enemy justice can have.’ I respectfully offer the proponents of voter ID legislation as present-day proof of Baldwin’s comment. Their cultural incompetence sadly is condemning Arkansas for the foreseeable future. Such willful ignorance isn’t pitiable, only damning.”

Well said, Your Honor. I guess that’s why we trust you with that fancy gavel.

For more information, contact Sandy Longhorn at slonghorn@pulaskitech.edu www.bigrockreading.blogspot.com

(501) 812-2200 www.pulaskitech.edu Find us on Facebook.

This project is supported in part by a grant from the Arkansas Humanities Council and the National Endowment for the Humanities.

STOP

HAIR LOSS TODAY! 501.217.8100 1701 Centerview Drive, Ste. 302, Little Rock www.hairclub.com • www.hairclubreviews.com www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

11

Arkansas Reporter

THE

IN S IDE R

Last week, the House debated Sen. Bryan King’s Voter ID bill. Voter fraud generally is rare, in-person voter fraud — the only kind prevented by the voter ID law — is almost non-existent. Voter ID legislation is the creation of cynical policymakers eager to gain any edge possible at the ballot box. Many of the bills introduced across the country in recent years, including Arkansas’s, track back to 2009, a little less than a year after President Obama inspired a historic voter turnout.

In July 2009, at a meeting of the Koch-financed American Legislative Exchange Council, the group’s Public Safety and Elections task force approved a model voter ID bill that became the basis of more than half of the 62 ID bills filed in state legislatures across the country in 2011 and 2012, according to News21. Former Arkansas Rep. Dan Greenberg was one of three ALEC members who led the drafting and discussion of the bill.

Eleven states passed new voter ID laws in 2011 or 2012.

King sponsored similar legislation during the last regular legislative session when he was a representative; it stalled in a Senate committee.

Greenberg has been the leading witness testifying before committees of the House and Senate on voter ID (and many other measures).

When the bill passed the House last week, King tweeted, “Voter ID passes the house. I want to thank former rep Dan Greenberg for all his work on this legislation. He is a great American.”

During the House debate, Democratic Reps. Darrin Williams and John Walker made heartfelt pleas to consider the poor, minority and elderly voters an ID law would disenfranchise.

Walker, a 76-year-old black man who worked in the trenches of the Civil Rights movement in the ’50s and ’60s, gave a passionate speech alluding to his personal history and noting that most in the chamber did not share his background and had never been deprived of the right to vote.

In response, Rep. Ann Clemmer, had the gall to speak indignantly in the House well.

“To assume that elected representatives of this state want to keep people from voting, it is horrifying to me that anyone in this room believes that about me or anyone else,” Clemmer said with her voice wavering. She added that when she spoke in favor of the 12-week ban on abortion that she co-sponsored, she “did not accuse anyone in this body of wanting to kill babies.”

CONTINUED ON PAGE 13 12

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

BRIAN CHILSON

The cynical roots of voter ID

SABIN: A compromise proposal.

Legislative term limits revisited But the proposed adjustments are small.

BY DOUG SMITH

W

hen Arkansas voters adopted term limits for legislators in 1992, Republicans were badly outnumbered in both houses of the legislature, and Republican money fueled much of the term-limits movement in Arkansas and nationwide, although termlimit proponents always tried to pass the idea off as a nonpartisan reform. The Republican thinking was that elimination of long-term-incumbent Democrats would improve the chances of Republican candidates being elected to the legislature.

The strategy has worked, and because of it and other factors, including the nation’s election of a Democratic president who is highly unpopular in Arkansas, Republicans in 2013 have a majority in each house of the state legislature for the first time since Reconstruction. So there was speculation that Republican legislators might want to rethink term limits, making them less restrictive if not repealing them entirely, so that the Republicans could get some long-term, hard-to-beat incumbents of their own. The legislatures of two other states, Idaho and Utah,

that adopted term limits about the same time as Arkansas, have since repealed their term-limit laws. As of January, 15 states had term limits for ALTES state legislators.

But Arkansas Republicans appear not to have changed their minds about term limits, or at least not to have the nerve to admit it. In the current legislative session, two proposed constitutional amendments dealing with term limits were introduced before the deadline for introductions.

Both would make only relatively minor changes. One was introduced by a Republican, one by a Democrat. Either or both could be referred by the legislature to a vote of the people in November 2014.

Both are now in the House State Agencies and Governmental Affairs Committee.

Amendment 73 of the Arkansas Constitution established that no member of the Arkansas House of Representa-

tives can serve more than three two-year terms, and no member of the Senate can serve more than two four-year terms. A member who’s used up his eligibility in one house can run for the other house, so that 14 is the maximum number of years a legislator can serve, in nearly all cases.

(Because senators must draw for two- or four-year terms after each federal census, it’s possible that a legislator could serve 16 years.) Amendment 73 originally established term limits for members of the Arkansas congressional delegation too, but that provision was invalidated by the federal courts, which said that the U.S. Constitution, not state legislatures, made the rules for congressional service.

HJR 1002 by Rep. Denny Altes (R-Fort Smith) provides that no legislator can serve longer than 14 years, the current limit in most cases, but it removes the limits on the number of terms in each house.

A legislator could serve all 14 years in the House, all 14 in the Senate, or a mix of the two. Altes apparently believes there’s some merit in a having a degree of continuity. He didn’t return calls from the Times.

HJR 1009 is a comprehensive reform amendment setting new ethical standards for legislators and other elected officials — limiting gifts to officials, restricting political contributions by corporations, establishing new procedures for setting the salaries of legislators and other officials. It includes a provision that no legislator can serve more than 16 years, and, like Altes’ proposal, it removes the limits on terms in each house, so that a member could serve all 16 years in one house. Rep. Warwick Sabin (D-Little Rock) is the lead sponsor of HJR 1009. Sabin is admittedly more interested in the reform elements of HJR 1009 than in tinkering with term limits, but he said the resolution is a compromise measure, and he hoped the inclusion of term limits would help win support for it from legislators.

There are still those, like Gov. Mike Beebe and the Arkansas Times editorial page, who believe that legislative term limits should be repealed entirely, the people allowed to elect whoever they want for as long as they want, and that the legislature functions better when it includes long-termers who’ve gained expertise in certain areas. But Republican officials and other term-limits proponents did a good selling job in the ’90s, and government is, if anything, even more unpopular now than it was then. Making even a minor change in term limits is likely to be a hard sell.

LISTEN UP

THE

BIG PICTURE

INCONSEQUENTIAL NEWS QUIZ: ALL POLITICS IS LOCAL EDITION

1. In late February, after signing a bill into law that exempts the list of concealed weapon permit holders from the state’s Freedom of Information Act, Lt. Gov. Mark Darr shot himself in the foot, metaphorically speaking. What was his blunder?

A) Literally shot himself in the foot.

B) Failed to return the one bullet that Gov. Mike Beebe entrusts him with whenever he goes out of state.

C) Issued a statement that included the full name of a permit holder from Carlisle who’d visited his office to thank him for keeping her information private, with Darr writing: “Her story is an example of why I felt the urgent need to sign this bill into law.”

D) Showed off his own handgun at a press conference and then began absentmindedly scratching his ear with it as he spoke until a State Trooper gently removed it from his hand.

2. Democratic gubernatorial candidate Bill Halter had an interesting idea for Arkansas students this week. What was it?

A) During the last five minutes of every high school basketball game, hose down the court with Wesson oil.

B) Teachers legally required to retire once their Kardashian Hotness Quotient falls below “Kourtney.”

C) A free college education for all Arkansas high school students who graduate with a G.P.A. over 2.5, mostly paid for by the Arkansas Scholarship Lottery.

D) All physics courses will henceforth be taught in a drained swimming pool by professional skateboarder Tony Hawk.

3. Last week, Arkansas Republicans in the General Assembly voted for a small tax increase after getting the approval from someone who has described the public’s reactions to tax hikes like finding a severed rat head in a Coke bottle. “We branded the Republican Party as the party of not raising taxes — branding is important,” this person said. “Republican elected officials who vote for tax increases are rat heads in a Coke bottle.

They damage the Republican brand.”

A) Rep. Nate Bell B) Sen. Jason Rapert C) Grover Norquist D) Asa! Hutchinson

4. Someone placed a physical metaphor for the 89th General Assembly outside the State Capitol building last week. What was it?

A) Large oil painting featuring Sen. Jason Rapert of Conway reclining on a cloud and providing the Holy Transvaginal Probe to Eve. B) A wrecked-out Lincoln Continental, with the hood and trunk lid accordioned from an accident.

C) Large, reeking pile of human dung, with millions of dollar bills mixed in.

D) Giant, walk-through replica of a woman’s vagina, so Republican legislators can feel what it’s like to literally insert themselves into women’s ladybits instead of just metaphorically.

5. Which of the following is not an actual piece of legislation put forward for consideration by the 89th General Assembly?

A) A bill naming Springdale the chicken capital of the world.

B) A bill making it a crime to sell a used mattress or pillow.

C) A bill insisting the federal government has no power to regulate firearms.

D) A resolution designating March 23 “Arkansas muddin’ day.”

Tune in to the Times’ “Week In Review” podcast each Friday.

Available on iTunes & arktimes.com

INSIDER, CONT. Later, after the Times posted a blog post critical of Clemmer, the Arkansas House Republican Caucus linked to a video of Clemmer’s speech in a Tweet that said, “Check the video that has @ArkTimes warring on women who dare to be conservative.”

The ‘private option’ isn’t a done deal While no Republican has endorsed the “private option” plan for healthcare coverage expansion, key leaders are clearly taking ownership of the new framework.

But going forward with expansion still requires 75 percent approval from both the House and the Senate, and that may remain a tough climb. Rep. Nate Bell, a prominent voice in the conservative wing of the House, recently told the Times that — while he has great respect for the Republicans at the center of the negotiations — if forced to vote now, he would vote no.

“At the end of the day, I like the direction that things are going but unless somebody can show me some better numbers … I haven’t seen any math yet that works. I’m still in the cautiously optimistic but largely skeptical column. I don’t see workable math. If I had to vote today based on what I know I would be a no,” Bell said. (This interview took place before the Arkansas Department of Humans Services released new cost projections for the “private option” [see page 10] ).

If, as Republicans believe, private insurance will offer better care, why should the current pool of disabled or extremely poor Medicaid recipients not get the same benefit as the expansion pool? Bell wondered.

“The issue for me is the underlying quality of care. When we have folks that currently are in that bottom 17 percent that aren’t necessarily getting good quality care and we’re going to turn around and offer what is probably higher quality care to other people just because of timing, that makes me nervous. I want the best possible end results for the folks who truly are unable to provide health care for themselves.”

But …

“I believe that Obamacare is an absolutely unsustainable program.

Since that’s my fundamental belief, I don’t know that hastening its demise helps anybody. Fundamentally, I’d like to see the legislative process work and it be reformed into something that would actually work as opposed to just further hastening the fiscal demise of the nation.” www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

13

ANSWERS: C, C, C, B, D

BOB AND WEAVE A farewell to the great Bob Lancaster.

O

BY DAVID KOON

K, OK, settle down. You three there in the back, put away them gatdamn dominoes and listen up.

We’ve called this meeting today on the occasion of the retirement of the great Arkansas humorist and Arkansas Times columnist Bob Lancaster, who hung up his jock and had his jersey hoisted in the rafters last month.

We’ll be presenting him in short order with his gold watch.

Well ... gold-colored, anyway. We got a recession on, and the free newspaper biz was never a rich man’s game, even back when the rest of the country was using their twenty-dollar bills to light their hundred-dollar bills.

As someone who has spent the last 10 years working a parttime gig in which I try to teach people how to write, I can tell you that the hardest part of that job is making a wannabe writer understand that even if he or she isn’t beautiful, or rich, or powerful, or even particularly talented yet, they deserve to have a voice in the conversation. We’ve got a problem with that in this country (and maybe even as a species): the idea that unless somebody who appears to be in charge tells you it’s your turn to speak, you should shut your yap. It’s a high wall, one most people never even try to climb, much less get their leg over.

One person who scaled that wall a long time ago was Bob Lancaster. It says a lot about Bob that, as a student attending Southern State College in Magnolia in 1962, he lasted all of six weeks as editor of the student newspaper before he pissed off college president Dr. Imon Bruce badly enough that Bob was fired. Though the listed offense was that Lancaster had been running cartoons that offended religious groups, it probably had more to do with the fact that he’d spent that summer writing letters to the Arkansas Gazette in which he — writing under the pen name “Auspice” — went after Gov. Orval Faubus with the linguistic equivalent of a claw hammer.

Though Bob never got a college degree, he kept learning and moving, starting as a sports writer at the Pine Bluff Commercial at 19, eventually working for both the Gazette and the Democrat, heading north for a year as a Nieman Journalism Fellow at Harvard, and doing a three-year stint as a roving columnist 14

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

for the Philadelphia Enquirer in the mid-1970s. He even took a turn as the editor of the storied publication you see before you.

After covering the trials of the West Memphis Three for the Arkansas Times, he was the first journalist — and maybe the first person, period — to publically call bullshit on the prosecutions, years before the rest of the sane world began to suspect they were, in fact, the product of a kangaroo court. After the Oklahoma City bombing, he wrote what could be called the perfect eulogy for those lost. He helped start a magazine called Arkansan. He wrote and published several books, including two novels. He stayed in Arkansas, even though he and his family probably could have had more elsewhere.

In between, he developed that amazing voice of his, and it wasn’t easy. In a 2005 interview with Mara Leveritt, on file at the Pryor Center for Arkansas Oral and Visual History, Bob said that as a child he didn’t talk until he was four or five years old. “I was intimidated by the world,” Bob said, “by my inability to make a place for myself in the world. I shied away from it and I still do, pretty much.”

In that piece, Bob talks about stories he’s written, interviews, moments that gave him pause. He talks about how journalists write for the public but write to impress other journalists — which might be the truest sentiment spoken aloud since “the poor shall always be with you.”

In what might be the most moving part of the piece, Bob recalls going up to Philadelphia, being given total freedom to write about what he wanted, and finding his voice there while in pursuit of the human condition. After awhile, Bob said, he realized that while he’d have to use “I” in his column, the trick was to develop an alter ego — a character who shared his name and face, but who saw the world very differently. “It was a different person from me, really, who was doing the column,” he said, “and it was the development of that character that the column was really all about.”

It’s a voice and a character that lots of folks — this writer included — came to love and admire, and one that will definitely be missed.

ODD DAYS IN LITTLE ROCK

BY BOB LANCASTER

O

ne day in Little Rock a bluejay ate the only tomato on the only backyard tomato plant I’ve ever grown. I don’t normally avenge wrongs committed against me by creatures doing what comes naturally.

But this whorehopper had attitude, and had it coming.

One day in Little Rock state Sen. Mutt Jones of Conway gave me a personal seminar on the life and works of a Belgian historian named Hendrik Willem van Loon. I didn’t know at the time that Mutt and Hendrik were both Loons. I suspected it, but didn’t know.

One day in Little Rock I asked Anita Bryant, then at the top of her game, if she ever doubted the righteousness of her cause. In response, one of her handlers pulled me aside and said, “Let me ask you something. Are you saved?”

One day in Little Rock the late, great George Fisher entertained creative-writing students at a big writers’ conference at Hall High School.

He drew them take-home cartoons of celebrities and of themselves, and played the guitar and sang mountain folk songs and had them sing along. They had a high old time. When George left the stage, I came on to talk to the same audience about writing essays.

One day in Little Rock, Gerald L.K. Smith told me with a companionly chuckle that when he and his goons took over they’d have me in a concentration camp before sundown. If that came to pass, I told him, I wouldn’t want to be found anywhere else.

One day in Little Rock I insulted a blind professional-rassling promoter who retaliated by renaming the fattest, most disgusting slob in his stable “Bruiser Bob Lancaster,” putting him in pink tights, and having his entire sweat-

June 6, 2011

hog drove, pretty boys and villains alike, beat him senseless with piledrivers, clotheslines, ringside tables and folding metal chairs. This was the main event on their weekly TV show.

One day in Little Rock Joe Wirges, the police beat reporter, yelled across the newsroom at the Arkansas Gazette to ask an editor if cocksucker was one word or two. The editor yelled back that you couldn’t use that word in the Gazette, and Joe replied: “Oh, it’s all right. It’s in a direct quote.”

One day in Little Rock some hustings acquaintances came to town for an elegant, romantic anniversary dinner. All duded up, and whetted for prime rib, they were inside the Carriage House with somebody asking “Can I hep y’all?” before they realized it wasn’t a restaurant but a furniture store.

One day in Little Rock the power windows and door-locks on my car went crazy and I had to take it to the dealership, then owned by and named after a famous Arkansas basketball player. “Somebody done put the hoodoo on it,” the repair technician explained. “Oh,” I said, as if I understood. Only cost $1,800 to get it fixed. Including Marie Laveau’s hex remover, and the chicken foot.

One day in Little Rock a former waitress watching the demolition of the Hotel Marion told me the most famous person she’d served coffee to there was the swayve and deboner actor Walter Pidgeon, a fair-to-middling tipper.

The worst tippers then, she said, were judges.

One day in Little Rock an innocent bystander got beat up by a stick-swinging gang of state troopers when civil rights pro-

testers tried to desegregate the cafeteria in the basement of the State Capitol. I was that innocent bystander. Got whomped pretty good, although in later years I didn’t suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

One day in Little Rock, at the State Fair, I saw Jo-Jo the Dog-Faced Boy, not the original certainly, not even a good knockoff, and decades beyond boyhood, but arguably dogfaced, at least as much so as Dwayne Chapman, taking a break from the freak booth, waiting patiently in line to order a corndog.

One hot summer day in southwest Little Rock I set the all-time record for cherry snowcones purchased and consumed by one person in one day at Ethel’s Sno-Cone House.

One day in Little Rock I stood out watching and waiting for the airliners to come crashing into our skyscrapers. And they did. In a way, they did.

One day in Little Rock I saw my brother stepping off a red train at Union Station, home from World War II. First time I’d ever seen him, and him me. My second earliest memory if I’m not mistaken.

One day in Little Rock, Bill Clinton, all sweaty from jogging, flopped down on an expensive leather chair in my office and just ruined it. I was royally p.o.’ed. No, wait, that was Jim McDougal’s office, and it was Jim who was p.o.’ed. That must’ve been the case because I had no office, and my cubicle lacked furniture except in a certain laughable sense.

One day in Little Rock I saw the old America. Didn’t know it’d be the last time, but reckon I wouldn’t have done anything different if I had known. Maxie going out of business. www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

15

THE CHRONICLES OF WEED A recovering addict smokes out the tobacco lobby.

BY BOB LANCASTER

April 7, 1995

... Dying may be the only real escape from nicotine addiction.

It’s the route I took.

I mean that metaphorically but just barely.

The addiction was stronger than I was; I couldn’t ever have conquered it; and to escape from it I had to sacrifice myself to it, to die in a way, and come back as somebody else.

This was one day in the Salem spring of 1984.

Vertiginous from chain-smoking away a tense morning, I put my head on my desk, closed my eyes and said, like Roberto Duran, No mas, and the me who’d been me, like Gen. MacArthur, faded away. Old guy: a reeking old chunk of tar and regret, farewell.

Well, actually, the transformation took some time and occurred in stages —two weeks, then two months, then four or five years. (They say it takes seven years to clean your system of the residue.) But it was indeed a new creature who slowly took shape (lamentably the shape of Mr. Peanut): somebody whose mind worked different, whose habits were those of a stranger, whose prose was suddenly this pile of Coke-bottle fragments and broken runic stones, whose signature suddenly looked like Chinese.

To quit cigarettes, you have to be willing to give up who you are and take your chances on who and what you’ll become.

The new guy might not be a better person; might not be one the old guy would’ve wanted to be or would’ve given the time of day; might be a

bad swap all the way around. But you can count on him being different. Somebody else.

One thing the new guy had that never troubled the old guy was a big void in the middle of his being.

A big hole somewhere inside him. Causing him little fits of grief, anxiety, and longing, mystifying because they were irrational. They came and went. They might last two seconds and yet cause major desolation. Ten years after, he still had them.

New guy figured this hole might’ve been in the old guy too, but old guy kept it filled with cigarette smoke: magic smoke with the tranquilizing power to let him pretend it wasn’t there.

Puff the magic dragon.

This calm that really wasn’t, this placidity of self-deceit, had been the payoff he got from his brain for supplying it with the drug.

Addicts duped, manipulated, jerked around and put through hoops by their own brains.

Knowing your own brain is smarter than you

are. And knowing it’s trying to kill you.

Quitting means going to war against your own brain, knowing you’re outgunned. Your brain even more devious and calculating in this struggle than the tobacco lobby.

You have to run a different gauntlet.

Longer than from here to Conway.

I had to enlist some religious terms and symbols to have a chance against my own devil brain.

One of these was that metaphor about the old guy dying, with such tyrannies of the flesh as the nicotine addiction dying with him, and the new guy emerging from the baptismal waters reborn, a different person.

Deliver us from Evil. The evil being your own brain, under the seductive power of the drug, beseeching you to poison yourself by sucking down all these old gasses and slime. Ordering you to. Furious and despondent and pathetic. Smarter than you are, weary sinner, and stronger than you are. And finally you just have to let it have the old guy, like Jaws getting the old skipper, and watch his torment with pity till he expires.

And give the new guy to know he simply has to keep clear of this old dangerous craziness. Can’t be flirting with it, entertaining notions of “cutting down,” “tapering off,” or “just one after breakfast to kill the taste of the eggs.”

Those just preludes to another fall. They’ll kill you again, and next time maybe your body too.

Just a couple of hundred thousand more will probably do the trick.

THE BUILDING NEVER TALKED

But the Oklahoma City devastation said many things to a visitor from Arkansas.

BY BOB LANCASTER

June 28, 1995

F

our different reporters from four parts of the country tried to interview me that Saturday afternoon, mistaking me for someone who had a reason for being on the scene and perhaps having something to say. They were a little resentful that I wasn’t somebody they could use.

Well, so it went. I never could get the building to talk to me, and it never would let me think. The rescue workers didn’t go back in that evening, and there were no sirens signaling that someone else had been found alive. Just

16

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

the mournful countenance of the ruin looking out over this shabby end of town, vestiges of tarp flapping cruelly over parts of it, from time to time a chunk of concrete falling. Chimney swifts gathered in the dusk above it to clear the sky of gnats and skeeters; the rain returned vengeant after a pause; and in the sloppy fading of day I slopped on back to the car up by the Episcopal Church, shucked the wet shoes and socks, and some of the wet clothes, and betook myself back toward Arkansas, darkness, and home.

On the morrow another Arkie would be here to utter words of consolation at the memorial service. I had been here looking for another species of words — words of explanation, or revelation, or something — but the Alfred P. Murrah federal office building, what was left of it, was no oracle. “Evil visited here,” the snapping tarps or teeth chattering might have said.

Or “Beware the fanatics.” Or simply “Why?” But otherwise nothing that made any sense, nothing you couldn’t get from the graveyard nearest where you live.

BARE FEET AND SLOW TRAINS Arkansas’s image has gone from bad to worse, and it’s not likely to get much better anytime soon.

BY BOB LANCASTER

June 1987

[I]n 1963, state Representative Paul Van Dalsem of Perryville made a place for himself in the annals of both Arkansas and feminism with a speech telling how the menfolk of Perry County kept their women from becoming uppity: by giving them an extra cow to tend, then a larger garden to work, and, as a last resort, getting them pregnant and keeping them barefoot.

Others had only toyed with the association, but Van Dalsem’s speech finally equated barefootedness with degradation, and so the speech and the national publicity it received were especially painful to the longsuffering imagewatchers. All the more so because the spectacle had an aura of naivete about it, as if this were par for the course in Arkansas, where nobody knew better.

It was fitting that this speech should have come from a state legislator, since the General Assembly has been a greater force in shaping Arkansas’s image than any other criminal class. In one of its first sessions in Little Rock in 1837, the Speaker of the House concluded the discussion of a banking bill by murdering a critical colleague on the House floor with a Bowie knife, that marvelous weapon invented in Arkansas and known affectionately to Slashers everywhere as “the Arkansas toothpick.” And ever since, the legislature has seemed to view its mission as including an obligation to amuse the national cognoscenti with yahoo initiatives. These have ranged from antiAbolitionist tirades to creation-science testimonials — from the immortal (and apparently mythical) change-thename-of-Arkansas-hell-no harangue of Reconstruction to the Cow Chip Soliloquy, a heartfelt tribute to barnyard manure, much reprised a hundred years later by a Pine Bluff representative named Boyce Alford.

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MARCH 21, 2013

17

SLOW BURN

BY BOB LANCASTER

Aug. 16, 2007

T

he last time I was in the House of Dominoes when it was this hot, Dollar Short, the moon-shooting fool, now deceased of course, told me, “Everybody talks about the hot weather but nobody does anything about it.

Damn all the talking. I’m ready for somebody to take the bull by the horns.”

His buddy Day Late said, “Amen to that, but you can count me out as far as messing with any bulls.”

“It’s just a figure of speech,” I explained to Day Late, doing my duty as official grammarian of the House of Dominoes.

“Well,” Day Late said, not acknowledging.

Then he said, “I seen on TV where they turn loose a bunch of bulls and these people in Spain are out there on the street running alongside of them, and I told myself, ‘If they’re doing that of their own free will, they just about have to be feeble-minded.’ I mean the people not the bulls.”

“Wally Hall ran with them once,” I mentioned.

“I rest my case then,” he said.

“I knew you meant the people not the bulls as far as the free will,” Dollar Short said. “I’m a dim bulb usually but I know only human beings get to choose their lot. Them and cats. But not bulls.

Especially not one of these rodeo bulls, with the dewlap. Them are some mean suckers but it’s not because of any choice they made.”

“What you need, as far as somebody that can do something about the hot weather,” Day Late said, “is another Homer Berry.”

I remembered Homer Berry. He was our last famous rainmaker in these parts, from North Little Rock, as I recall. Worked with a smoky barrel in the back of an old pickup. Fumes from it seeded passing-over clouds, milking them of their moisture rather than allowing them to bear the precious stuff on to other precincts. In theory anyway.

Hock Tooey remembered him too. We thought Hock was napping, hat pulled down and his chair comfortably tilted against the drink box, but he

opened a bloodshot eye and said, “You boys won’t believe it but I rode shotgun with Homer Berry on two of his most famous cases.”

This claim was met with near comprehensive indifference, and I was only being polite in asking Hock what exactly riding shotgun for a rainmaker entailed.

“He’d stop ever once in a while and I’d have to get out and stir some stuff or throw in some briquettes,” he said. “I never mastered the art of it myself.”

The indifference gave way to apathy, which you get a lot of in this kind of weather.

“His radio didn’t work either time,” Hock said, “but he wouldn’t let me fool with it. He said I might blow something up.”

“What’s the point of this fairy tale?” Dollar Short said.

“I’m just telling you,” Hock said before snoozing off again, “whichever town Mr. Berry doctored for, it wouldn’t be no 109 degrees there. It might be over in the next town, but not in one of Mr. Berry’s.”

This is Dollar Short: “That was a long time ago. Quacks ruled. People were credulous but on the whole I think they were happier. Ol’ Huckabee changed it to where you didn’t try to force it to rain to cool things off, you prayed for it to.

You’d pray for two or three weeks, then when it

DOG-PETER GNATS June 28, 2006

... Pap kept a succession of look-alike fice squirrel-hunting dogs at our place over the years of my youth, all of them named Jack.

And all of them pretty much driven insane by irrepressible, ever bolder dog-peter gnats. You couldn’t swat d-pgs, and they were immune to any kind of spray or application. You could turpentine the dogs, causing them great agony, but the dog-peter gnats seemed actually to relish turpentine. They’d guzzle it like winos 18

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

and swell up big as ticks. As I watched Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, and the other Jack suffer, I resolved to one day get me a laboratory and do the research that would eliminate d-pgs from the earth forever, like polio or smallpox.

But I grew up and forgot about such foolishness. I decided that if I didn’t have bigger fish to fry than dog-peter gnats, then I was never going to amount to Jack Squat. ...

rained six months later, he’d say, ‘See? There’s your answered prayer. Now give me a campaign contribution.’ ” Praying is not really doing anything proactive about the weather, the parlor grammarian noted.

It grabs no toro horn. “Yeah,” said Day Late, “it’s more like we’re saying maybe if we just grouse around long enough, Super Mario will take pity and do it for us.”

If you know dominoes, you know what a “sweater” is, and here’s a remark that a sweater threw into the conversation at this point: “I don’t see why if he could change the course of a cyclone just to get that old 700 Club slime weasel to shut up, he couldn’t stir up a cool front for our bona fide suffering old-timers. Even without being asked.”

“On such matters ours is not to reason why,” the grammarian said.

“Maybe yours idn’t,” the sweater said. “Mine is.”

“Mine too,” Dollar Short said. “That’s what I was saying to begin with.”

One of this crew — it doesn’t really matter which, now, does it? — had the notion that the moral responsibility for doing something about the Arkansas weather belonged to ... well, to Jerry Jones.

I’m not sure I followed it, but it had to do with him and Sheffield having filled their giant pokes by gouging Arkansas biscuit cookers half to death in something called a buy-back scheme, and how, instead of spending it on a billion-dollar football field that the Cowboys don’t even need, he instead ought to install a WeatherGard system over much of Arkansas that would deflect extreme temperatures and fairly apportion the Natural State precip.

I didn’t even know there was a WeatherGard system, patent pending, but there you go. I did know that while our little hick domino parlor had an official grammarian, the Dallas Cowboys opted for an official brick, and I think I know which designation bodes best for western civ.

THE DEVIL ON TRIAL

Some concluding thoughts on the state’s most notorious murder trial.

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BY BOB LANCASTER

W

April 7, 1994

hen you look back at the infamous crimes of this state’s past, this one doesn’t resemble any of them.

There’s something distinctively modern about it.

It’s a crime of this era, but I don’t know what quality or aspect it has that makes it so. The wantonness? The pointlessness?

The challenge it represents to the scantest pretense of decency?

Don’t know what the quality is, but think it might have to do with the question of motive. The absence of motive. Or the trivializing of motive.

Why did Gene Simmons kill all of those folks in Pope County a few years ago? Because he was deranged, it’s easy enough to say, but that’s no answer, and there is no answer — none that ever got outside that spooky man’s spooky head. Why did those Manson zombies, maybe the original modern criminals of this species, kill all those people that night? If you’ve seen the recent interviews with some of them, you saw that even today, with half a lifetime to think about it, they can’t say why, and don’t know why. John Wilkes Booth was confused and deluded, but he had his reasons. What reasons have any of these latter-day assassins had? The absence of motive may be why it’s hard for us even to accept that some of them committed their crimes. Easier to accept the conspiracy theories; conspirators may be shadowy characters but they always have a strong, clear motive.

The prosecutors in the West Memphis murders didn’t establish a motive, and didn’t try to very hard or very long. They looked foolish, and actually jeopardized their case (risked letting it slip over into absurdity) when they did try. Sporadically they portrayed Damien Echols as a novice dabbler in the occult, suggesting he choreographed the murders of those little boys as a kind of ritual blood sacrifice. Satanism would endow the case with a motive. But the prosecutors never produced any evidence to show that Echols had anything beyond a jerkoff Metallica-level interest in witchery and hobgoblins, and they could only conjecture (or hint around about it, in slightly embarrassed fashion) that his “beliefs” in regard to these matters might have inspired or driven him to contemplate murder, much less actually commit it. The one “cult expert” they put on the stand was a sad old retired cop from up North somewhere who got his expertise via correspondence courses from some California academy that’s undoubtedly a post-office box, and he couldn’t rightly say — though he was willing to guess — whether the murders might have been “cult-related” since there was no evidence pointing in that direction, or in any direction. The prosecutors convicted Echols of checking certain suspicious books out of the public library, and copying off dark passages (“full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”) from the likes of William Shakespeare. God help him if he’d ever discovered Poe. And yet this vague proposition of the murders as an expression of an ignorant boy’s conception of the demands of demonology was the state’s entire case. That’s all we had. And an obliging jury — and a judge as dedicated to bringing forth convictions as he was to looking good — called it enough.

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A FEW BITS OF ARKIANA

BY BOB LANCASTER

A

Nov. 9, 2011

few bits of Arkiana, definitions and elaborations, alphabetically arranged for your convenience, to pass a few minutes of a slow week.

All get-out. A vague superlative, the meaning of which eludes and perplexes the authorities. “Them catfish are meaner than all get-out.”

Arkansas go-getter. Said of an Arkansas man who has no job but has a wife who does have a job, “I take her to work in the morning, and then in the evening I go-getter.”

Big old good ’un. The same as a good old big ‘un.

The direct object needn’t be specified. And it needn’t be big, old, good, or just one.

Cellar. A basement. Cellar is sometimes used in storm cellar or root cellar, but if it’s a dark airless place under the house at the bottom of the stairs, one that looks like the set of a horror movie, it’s a basement.

Coffee. A non-native editorial writer eager to sound folksy went into a Little Rock diner not so long ago and ordered a cuppa joe. I’d bet anything that the very next words he heard were, “You ain’t from around here, are you, Slick?” No Arkie ever ordered joe, or a cuppa joe, or a cuppa anything.

Or no Arkie ever did it without getting hoorawed something fierce.

Deep freeze. A food freezer about the size of John Adams’ casket. The deep freeze was the most common piece of front porch furniture in Arkansas throughout the previous century. “If you don’t stay out of my deep freeze, I mona kill you.”

Dingleberry. The worst of our native berries for making jam.

Dinner. The noon meal. The evening meal is supper. We don’t have brunches, at least not on purpose. Or teas.

Done crossed over into Campground. Dead.

Fixing to. Preparing to. As in, “If you don’t shut up, I’m fixing to kill you.”

Gone to glory. Dead.

Goober. Can refer to an idiot, a peanut or a penis.

The people of Goobertown, halfway between Jonesboro and Paragould, used to be called goobers, but now it’s said that the population is “about half goobs and half rubes.”

Horsecock. What stick bologna used to be called.

In this same neck of woods, in the same time period, Vienna sausages, which aren’t sausages and didn’t come from Vienna, were often called puppy peckers.

HOT Springs. Visitors and relative newcomers put the emphasis on the first name of this Arkansas resort town; they call it HOT Springs. Natives and longtime residents put the emphasis on the Springs part, pronouncing it Hot SPRINGS. It’s the same

deal with PINE Bluff v. Pine BLUFF. Also, DeWitt v. DEEwitt.

Houseshoes. Most of the rest of the country calls them slippers.

Jaybirds. According to Vance Randolph, quoting well-known auspexes in Waldron, jaybirds carry firewood to Hell every Friday.

Lost. Going to Hell when you die.

Love offering. This is a second passing around of the collection plate at the same church service, the money designated for a special purpose, often to pay the visiting evangelist at a revival meeting.

Might near. Almost. “I’ll eat might near anything, excepting a eel.” Purt near is not quite as near as might near.

Mona. A contraction of the words “am going to.”

As in, “ If you don’t shut up, I mona kill you.”

Passed. Dead.

Naught. Aught. “Jethro’s fixing to be a doublenaught spy.”

Peckerwood. Turn it around it’s a bird, but with the pecker first it’s a jasper whose highest aspiration is to live in a doublewide in a trailer park. There are no female peckerwoods, or black peckerwoods of either sex.

Removed kinfolks. I don’t understand the concept.

I’ve read the usage mavens and I’m still at a loss.

How is it possible, for instance, that my first cousin twice removed is not the same amount of kin as my second cousin once removed? And where do they go when they’re removed? Is it like the Cherokee Removal along the Trail of Tears?

Ring-tailed tooter. A family of nocturnal stalker critters, with subspecies that include the Going Jessie. Except for the ringed tail, tooters are hard to describe, but you’ll know one if it gets after you on a country road at night.

Sack. What our groceries come in. People elsewhere call it a bag.

Saved. Going to Heaven when you die.

Stuffing. We don’t call our main Thanksgiving dinner turkey go-with stuffing; we call it dressing.

Stuffing belongs in a mattress or a couch, not in a turkey.

Th’ow. Fling. Chunk. “If you don’t quit th’owing rocks at passing cars, I mona kill you.”

Whatnot. Doodad. A store at Ico is named Nanaw’s Nick-Nacks.

Y’all. This is a plural, referring to at least two people. Only tin-eared visitors from colder climes would think of using it in the singular: “Y’all are my best friend; I just love you to death.”

Yard. What we usually call a lawn. If farm animals are eating grass off of it, it’s a pasture.

EAT LOCAL www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

21

Arts Entertainment AND

BRIAN CHILSON

M.F. METAL TURNS BRYANT Fledgling record store aspires to be a hang-out spot.

BY DAVID KOON

D

io is dead, it’s 1,600 miles to the Whisky a Go-Go, and Saline County has never been a place that screams “METALLLLL!” But down in Bryant, there’s a record store that’s as close to a metal Mecca as Arkansas is probably ever going to see.

Situated in a strip mall next to a tattoo shop and the Goodwill, M.F. Metal Music (do we really have to explain what the “M.F.” stands for?) is the dream of longtime, dedicated metal-head Jay Kohl. Featuring more than 2,200 different metal titles on CD and another 150 or so on vinyl, plus sharp-and-pointy jewelry, a great selection of albums by heavier local and regional bands, leather bracers and bracelets that Kohl makes himself, a giant shrine to KISS and a selection of T-shirts that would probably get you kicked right the hell out of your grandmother’s birthday party, it’s 18-year-old me’s version of heaven on Earth, and probably pretty much the same for anyone whose wardrobe colors run toward the bruise palette.

A native of Nebraska, Kohl ran a martial arts studio in Milwaukee for 10 years before moving to Little Rock in 1993 to work at the headquarters of the American Taekwondo Association. In high school and college in the 1970s, he was always a little different when it came to music.

“I was always into different kinds of

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MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

M.F. Metal Music

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music than everybody else,” he said. “I was the guy carrying around David Bowie’s ‘Space Oddity,’ and Lou Reed’s ‘Transformer’ while everybody else was listening to Top 40.”

When his son and daughter started listening to Metallica in the late 1980s, he gave their records a spin and was instantly hooked. Now, at 58, he’s a walking encyclopedia of metal, able to discern one of the myriad subgenres from another the way a wine snob can tell a 1955 Chateau Latour from a ’61.

“Metal is an emotional music,” he said.

“A lot of people have different ideas about it. There are so many different genres of metal. If you need to get out some aggression, there’s music for that. If you want to sit back and just have a fantasy about monsters and dragons and dragonslaying, there’s music for that.”

Always a haunter of record stores, Kohl began kicking around the idea of opening a brick and mortar shop around a decade ago, especially as big-box stores, the rise of

the Internet and digital music began killing off the great used vinyl outlets of his youth.

“I didn’t figure I was the only one who liked to walk into a shop, go through every single CD in the shop, and be able to talk to the guy behind the counter and say: ‘Okay, I like Type O Negative, but I’m looking for something new. Can you guide me to a new band that I’ve never heard before?’ ” Kohl said. “You can’t get that at Best Buy.” None of us are getting any younger, so in Oct. 2011, he left the ATA and opened his shop on Highway 5 in Bryant — where he lives with his wife — last June. At an age when many of his friends are thinking about retirement — not to mention a time in history where we’re being told daily that the record store has been consigned to the dustbin of history — it’s understandable that many of Kohl’s friends thought he was nuts.

“I had a lot of friends asking me, ‘Are you crazy?’ ” he said with a laugh. “People are predicting the end of the CDs and [saying] it’s all going to be MP3s and that kind of thing. There were a couple major things that I thought about, number one being that vinyl is making a comeback. While compact discs and MP3s are convenient, the sound gets severely compressed — even more so on MP3s. There’s a lot of people who know sound and like sound, and when they want to listen to music, they want the full gamut of the sound, not the digitalized version.”

From the start, Kohl said he wanted to make M.F. Metal a hangout — the kind of place where someone can walk in looking for an album by one band and walk

out loving another. There are comfortable couches in the back, and he’s always ready to tap his incredibly detailed knowledge of the genre to help customers find a new band they might like.

“The biggest thing is people coming in and buying the older bands like Judas Priest and Iron Maiden,” he said. “We’ve got that stuff here, because I believe in knowing the roots. We’ve got the Who and we’ve got Rush. But after they’ve been in a few times and kind of developed a rapport, I’m like, ‘When are you going to come to this century?’ ” While the store isn’t quite profitable yet, Kohl said he has high hopes once M.F. Metal gets established. The metal scene in Central Arkansas is excellent, and he’s now received the go-ahead from the city to hold concerts in the parking lot this summer.

Too, as he points out, there has always been a sense of camaraderie between those whose musical tastes run on the shadowy side of the street.

“For more than 20 years, people have been saying hard rock and heavy metal is dead, and it’s not,” he said. “The key is, it’s a brotherhood. Somebody who doesn’t know me from Adam will walk in that door, take a look around, listen to what I’ve got playing, and now I’m a brother. He’ll say: ‘Nice to meet you, brother.’ There’s something to the fact that, just like it was with the old hard rock — the people who listened to The Who, the people who listened to Rush — they’re a little bit of the outcast, a little bit of the ones who don’t always fit in. There’s a bond of commonality: ‘Oh, you like metal?’ ”

BRIAN CHILSON

ROCK CANDY Check out the Times’ A&E blog arktimes.com

A&E NEWS THIS ONE’S A WAYS OFF YET, BUT PINK WILL BE BRINGING her overthe-top pop spectacle to Verizon Arena on Sunday, Nov. 17. Tickets for this stop on the Truth About Love Tour go on sale March 30 at 10 a.m. and they’re going to run you $52-$118.

Now before you balk at that upperend ticket price, you should realize that Pink’s stage show involves a whole lot of ropes and pulleys and gymnastical feats of derring-do from Pink herself as well as a bevy of buff dudes.

So having a good seat will be big deal for this one. The Detroit News called it a “high-flying, even death-defying concert that made most earthbound pop stars look downright lazy.”

Find Us On Facebook www.facebook.com/arkansastimes

Little Rock’s Down-Home Neighborhood Bar 7th & Thayer · Little Rock · (501) 375-8400

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THE THIRD ANNUAL JOHNNY CASH MUSIC FESTIVAL will feature headliners Vince Gill, The Gatlin Brothers and Jimmy Fortune of the Statler Brothers, as well as members of the Cash family, including Joanne Cash Yates and host Tommy Cash. It’ll once more be hosted at the Convocation Center at Arkansas State University in Jonesboro.

Those of you who were torn last year because the Cash fest fell the same weekend as the King Biscuit Blues Festival, fret not! This year, the celebration of The Man in Black will be Aug. 17. The show will start at 7 p.m.

Tickets go on sale April 1. The Times will be doing buses again this year.

Stay tuned; we’ll have more details as they become available.

LAST WEEK, ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY POSTED an exclusive preview of the new series “Rectify,” created by Ray McKinnon. The sixepisode series kicks off April 22 with a two-hour premiere on the Sundance Channel.

The show is about Daniel Holden, who was released after serving 19 years on death row for the rape and murder of his girlfriend. DNA evidence exonerates him, but the residents of his small hometown aren’t so sure.

McKinnon said he was inspired by the real-life release of inmates who said they wanted a steak dinner and a beer when they got out. But McKinnon wondered what the rest of that first day out — and all the days that followed that one — might be like.

The shows looks intriguing and Aden Young, who plays Holden, has that deeply haunted man-on-the-edge vibe down heavy. Note: former Times columnist Graham Gordy is one of the writers on the show and also plays Pastor Beau.

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MARCH 21, 2013

23

THE TO-DO

LIST

BY ROBERT BELL, DAVID KOON & LESLIE NEWELL PEACOCK

THURSDAY 3/21

HINDER

9 p.m. Juanita’s. $25.

Editor’s note: This is the third in an ongoing series profiling the groundbreaking early 21st century Oklahoma band Hinder and the mercurial genius at its fore, singer Austin Winkler.

SEPT. 14, 2057, NORMAN, Okla. — The walls of Austin Winkler’s retirement village apartment are lined with a simply mind-numbing amount of Hinder merchandise. This is a band whose laissez-faire approach to endorsements would make Krusty the Clown himself vomit with jealousy. Winkler shares the apartment with Hinder drummer Cody Hanson, the only other original surviving member of the band. Hinder allowed its name to be emblazoned upon the usual litany of consumer items: Breakfast cereals, tequila, action figures, athletic wear, hot sauce, lawn and patio furniture, novelty prophylactics. But after-market auto parts? Drywall tools? I ask Winkler why the band was so shockingly indiscriminate in its

GOOD-TIME ROCK: Hinder returns to Juanita’s Thursday night.

product endorsements. “You gotta get your name out there,” he says. But does a band whose indescribably beautiful music altered the very course of humanity really need to lend its name to a line of adult diapers? Hinder even endorsed

a pharmaceutical drug, Proplaxidol QM. “Our backup percussionist Dutch had contracted Clodgington’s Dermatitis.

It’s basically a rare, sexually-transmitted form of dandruff. Pretty sure he picked it up at Rocklahoma 2034. He

THURSDAY 3/21

FRIDAY 3/22-SUNDAY 3/24

BLESS THE MIC: TOURE

LITTLE ROCK HORROR PICTURE SHOW

7 p.m. Philander Smith College. Free.

Brooklyn-based journalist, novelist, critic and television host Toure has written for Rolling Stone, Vibe, The Village Voice, The New Yorker, Playboy and other notable publications, covering a who’s who of the biggest names in pop and hip-hop. He’s published several books, including a volume out this week about Prince. It sounds promising: “Expect to understand Prince’s life and music better than ever before. It’s not a biography, it’s a deconstruction and appreciation bolstered by interviews with many past Prince associates and an interview I did with Prince in 1998,” he notes. Toure’s most recently published work, “Who’s Afraid of Post-Blackness” in 2011, earned critical acclaim and was included in the annual New York Times list of the most notable books of the year. He’s hosted several TV shows on MTV2, BET, Fuse, CNN, The Tennis Channel and a show called “I’ll Try Anything Once” that found him wading into all manner of crazy stunts, including demolition derbies, rodeos and an actual stuntman academy. He currently co-hosts MSNBC’s “The Cycle.” Now, 24

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

Various times. Argenta Community Theater. $40 pass. $7 for individual screenings.

This writer has never been one of those happy-go-lucky types drawn to rom-coms and Woody Allen movies. Though my taste for gore has diminished over the years, back in the dark days of teenagehood, I liked my movie characters like I like my steaks: bloody and relentlessly pursued by a sneering man with a knife. I still get in the mood for a horror film these

was like patient zero. Anyway, they did all these tests on him and the trials went well, but once it hit the market there were some, uh, unfortunate side effects, and they pulled it.” Determined to make some sort of human connection with this enigmatic rock mastermind, I ask him once more if he has any regrets. “I got in a pissing contest with Axl Rose one time.” “Two times,” Hanson corrects him. “It was two times, remember?” “Oh yeah,” Winkler says. “Yeah, I guess that first one ended in a draw so we had a rematch.” He pauses, a trace of remorse tightening the corner of his mouth. “That was sad, the way that thing ended. Me and Axl, we polluted that whole entire watershed and caused the endangered Midwestern Spotted Blind Cave Lizard to go extinct and for what? Bragging rights?” Winkler shakes his head slowly. “And $14 million,” Hanson reminds him. “Oh yeah,” Winkler says, “I guess that part was pretty cool.” Opening the show are Acidic and Aranda. RB

days, which is what makes an immersion in the Little Rock Horror Picture Show so cool. The horrid genetic mistake the Little Rock Film Festival keeps chained in the attic, the LRHPS is three days of blood, terror and mayhem, and a hell of a lot of fun. One flick to definitely catch this year is “Roadside,” the latest film by Arkansas filmmaker Eric England. The closer of the festival, it’s the story of a couple trapped in a stalled car by a psychopath with a rifle. Sounds like the feel-good hit of the year. See the schedule and buy tickets at littlerockfilmfestival.org. DK

SATURDAY 3/23

‘STOP THE WAR ON WOMEN’ CULTURE CRITIC: Toure speaks Thursday night as part of Philander Smith’s Bless the Mic series.

that list might seem like simply a rundown of Toure’s resume, but it’s also indicative of a guy who is interested in doing a million different things and seems to do all million of them very well.

Those folks are rare. This should be an interesting presentation. RB

3 p.m. Arkansas State Capitol.

I don’t know about the rest of y’all, but the 89th General Assembly has got me madder’n a wet bobcat at a squaredancing contest. I mean they’ve got me angrier’n a drunken badger at a clown convention. Actually, a clown convention is what these smug, “smallgovernment” jokers like Jason Rapert and Andy Mayberry and David Meeks and Missy Irvin have been running

these last few weeks, although with a lot less dignity and class and professionalism and respect for women. If you’re feeling similarly, then you ought to get out to this rally and show your support. It might be the most satisfying thing you can do until we all get the chance to vote these know-nothing mouth-breathers out of office. Signs are encouraged, but sticks are prohibited. There’s more info at tinyurl.com/ ARWARONWOMEN. RB

IN BRIEF

THURSDAY 3/21

SATURDAY 3/23

PINBACK

band has always been Rob Crow, formerly of Thingy and Heavy Vegetable, and Zach Smith of Three Mile Pilot.

I first heard the band when its 2001 album “Blue Screen Life” became one of the inescapable albums of that year.

It seemed like everywhere I went that year I heard that album, “White Blood

9 p.m. Revolution. $12 adv., $15 day of.

For the last 15 years or so, West Coast duo Pinback has been crafting airtight, intricate indie pop with no rough edges at all and not so much as a note out of place. Collaborators have come and gone, but the core of the

Cells,” “Is This It?” and the Shins’ “Oh, Inverted World.” Since then, Pinback hasn’t been exactly hyper-prolific, instead taking their time crafting three more albums of flawless and unpredictable pop. Opening up the all-ages show is the bizarro TV-theme act JP Inc. RB

SUNDAY 3/24

LEE FIELDS & THE EXPRESSIONS

FRIDAY 3/22

8 p.m. Juanita’s. $12 adv., $15 day of.

While the last few years have seen a steady interest in historically precise oldschool soul and funk, few of these acts have been at it as long as North Carolina native Lee Fields, who cut his first single the same year that a bunch of hippies got together for a concert on a farm outside a small town in upstate New York. Or as Pitchfork put it in a review of Fields’ latest album, “Faithful Man”: “Don’t call it a throwback, though. Fields has been doing this since 1969, so in his case it’s more a matter of sticking to your guns.” Fields is backed up by The Expressions, the house band for New York label Truth & Soul.

Joining him on this tour is female soul duo Lady, also on Truth & Soul. Folks, this show is going to be a good one. RB

REAL DEAL: Lee Fields performs at Juanita’s Sunday night.

MONDAY 3/25

“JFK: 50 YEARS LATER”

JOHN ROGERS ARCHIVE

Argenta Arts District

It’s been 50 years since President John F. Kennedy was killed by an assassin’s bullet in Dallas. Some of us remember the Camelot era he ushered in; others of us are too young. For the former, the photos that make up the exhibit “JFK 50 Years Later” will provoke all sorts of memories; for the latter, they’ll be illuminating.

Monday through Saturday, eight venues in North Little Rock’s historic downtown are showing some 120 photographs from the collection of Rogers Photo Archives, grouped in segments of JFK’s life, from family to the Space Race to his assassination. Along with the exhibits, there will be special events: Filmmaker Craig Renaud will show a short film he created for the exhibition at a 7 p.m. Monday opening reception at the Argenta Community

The Arkansas Repertory Theatre’s production of the musical “Treasure Island” continues at 7 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 2 p.m.

Sunday. White Water Tavern has three of the state’s best songwriters under one roof, Kevin Kerby, Adam Faucett and Andy Warr, 9:30 p.m., $5. Downtown Music Hall hosts pop-punkers The Wonder Years, with Fireworks, Hostage Calm and Misser, 6 p.m., $13 adv., $15 day of. Stickyz brings in folky Memphis singer/songwriter Chris Milam, 9 p.m., 18-and-older.

Film geeks take note: The WRI Film Forum at the Winthrop Rockefeller Institute atop Petit Jean Mountain kicks off Thursday, offering up-and-comers access to industry vets, who’ll impart their wisdom in a four-day series of seminars, workshops and screenings.

More info at livethelegacy.org.

JFK AND JOHN-JOHN: In the “JFK 50 Years Later” exhibit in Argenta.

Theater and Gov. Mike Beebe will read JFK’s inaugural address at noon Tuesday, March 26, on the steps of the Argenta Post Office, 420 Main St. Writers will assemble

for a discussion, “Where Were You?”, for Starving Artist’s Tin Roof Project, 5:30 p.m. March 26. Also scheduled: “Shooting JFK,” a talk by former United Press International photographer Willie Allen, 6 p.m. March 27 and 4 p.m. March 30; a screening of Oliver Stone’s film “JFK” at 7 p.m. March 28 at the ACT, and an auction of work by Arkansas artists at 7 p.m.

March 30 at the ACT. Ticketed events will raise money for the Argenta Arts Foundation and the “Moonshot Project” to boost college success through the arts. Venues include The Joint (301 Main St.), THEA Foundation (401 Main St.), Starving Artist Cafe (411 Main St.), Art Connection (204 E. 4th St.), Pennington Studios (417 Main St.), Greg Thompson Fine Art (429 Main St.) and the Paint Box Gallery (705 Main St.). Call 225-5600 for ticket information; exhibits are free. LNP

“A Hair Affair” is a fundraiser for LGBT homelessness advocate Lucie’s Place and HIV/AIDS support group LACorp, with a fashion show, competition between local hair salons, local arts and crafts and live music from Winston Family Orchestra, Terry House, 6 p.m., $10 adv., $15 door. It’s the last run for The Weekend Theater’s production of “Company,” 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 2:30 p.m. Sunday.

Longtime local rock favorites Big Silver play at White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. Southern-fried hip-hop outfit The Nappy Roots play an 18-and-older show at Revolution, 9 p.m. Down in the Spa City, Texan roots-rockers The Mansion Family perform with Uncle Joe and The Backsliders’ Choir, 8 p.m., $5 adv., $7 door. ImprovLittleRock’s “Battle Royal” finds comedic improvisers going head-to-head, with the audience declaring the winners, The Public Theatre, 10 p.m. Friday and Saturday, $8. Republican Sen. John McCain of Arizona will discuss current affairs at the Clinton School of Public Service, 6 p.m.

SATURDAY 3/23

Former Razorbacks track and field coach and living legend John McDonnell will do a book-signing at Go! Running in the Heights, noon. Verizon Arena hosts the 2013 SEC Gymnastics Championship, 2 p.m., $8-$16.

Ragged rockers Not in the Face return to Bear’s Den Pizza in Conway, 8:30 p.m., free. Fayetteville countryrockers Backroad Anthem bring the ruckus to Stickyz, 18-and-older, 9 p.m.

Buzzed-about Dallas indie rockers Air Review play Maxine’s, with Adam Faucett & The Tall Grass, $6 adv., $8 door.

TUESDAY 3/26

Funnyman Jim Gaffigan comes to Robinson Center Music Hall on his White Bread Tour, 7 p.m. $48-$58.

If you require standup comedy with more of a misanthropic, scorchedearth hatred vibe, Doug Stanhope is at the UARK Bowl in Fayetteville, 8 p.m., $25. www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

25

AFTER DARK All events are in the Greater Little Rock area unless otherwise noted. To place an event in the Arkansas Times calendar, please e-mail the listing and all pertinent information, including date, time, location, price and contact information, to calendar@arktimes.com.

THURSDAY, MARCH 21

MUSIC

Chris Milam. 18-and-older. Stickyz Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicken Shack, 9 p.m. 107 Commerce St. 501372-7707. www.stickyz.com.

Country Karaoke and Line Dance Lessons with Ron Powell. W.T. Bubba’s Country Tavern, 9 p.m.; March 28, 9 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-244-2528.

Gwendlyn Kay acoustic. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m., free. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501315-1717.

Hinder, Aranda, Acidic. Juanita’s, 9 p.m., $25.

614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www. juanitas.com.

“Inferno.” DJs play pop, electro, house and more, plus drink specials and $1 cover before 11 p.m. Sway, 9 p.m. 412 Louisiana. 501-907-2582.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, through March 28: 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Josh Green. Thirst n’ Howl, 8:30 p.m., free. 14710 Cantrell Road. 501-379-8189. www.thirst-n-howl. com.

Karaoke. Zack’s Place, 8 p.m. 1400 S. University Ave. 501-664-6444.

Karaoke night. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 8 p.m.

314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub. com.

Karaoke with Kevin & Cara. MacDaddy’s Bar and Grill, 9 p.m., free. 314 N. Maple St., NLR. Karaoke with Larry the Table Guy. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., free. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

Kevin Kerby, Adam Faucett, Andy Warr. White Water Tavern, 9:30 p.m., $5. 2500 W 7th St. 501375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Krush Thursdays with DJ Kavaleer. Club Climax, free before 11 p.m. 824 W. Capitol.

501-554-3437.

Lucious Spiller. The Joint, 9 p.m. 301 Main St. No. 102, NLR. 501-372-0205. thejointinlittlerock.com.

Michael Eubanks. Newk’s Express Cafe, 6:30 p.m. 4317 Warden Road, NLR. 501-753-8826. newks.com.

Minor Birds, The Winter Birds. Vino’s. 923 W. 7th St. 501-375-8466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

Open jam with The Port Arthur Band. Parrot Beach Cafe, 9 p.m. 9611 MacArthur Drive, NLR. 771-2994.

Randy Rogers Band. 18-and-older. Revolution, 9 p.m., $22 adv., $25 day of. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

RockUsaurus. Senor Tequila, 7 p.m., free. 10300 N Rodney Parham Road. 501-224-5505. www. senor-tequila.com.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 5 p.m., free. 111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel.com/CBG. Wine Tasting. The Afterthought, 5:30 p.m. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

The Wonder Years, Fireworks, Hostage Calm, Misser. Downtown Music Hall, 6 p.m., $13 adv., $15 day of. 211 W. Capitol. 501-376-1819. downtownmusichall.com.

26

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

MINNEAPOLIS VETS: The longtime alt-rockers in Soul Asylum perform at Revolution Monday night, with openers War Chief and The Fable & The Fury, 8 p.m., all-ages, $20.

COMEDY

John Wesley Austin, Mike Smith. The Loony Bin, 7:30 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-228-5555. www.loonybincomedy. com.

EVENTS

Antique/Boutique Walk. Shopping and live entertainment. Downtown Hot Springs, third Thursday of every month, 4 p.m., free. 100 Central Ave., Hot Springs.

Bless the Mic: Touré. Presentation from the novelist, essayist, cultural critic and co-host of “The Cycle” on MSNBC. Philander Smith College, 7 p.m., free. 900 W. Daisy L. Gatson Bates Drive.

Meet the Cat in the Hat and Clifford the Big Red Dog. Meet the Cat in the Hat Thursday and Clifford Friday; free with museum admission. Museum of Discovery, 10 a.m., free. 500 Clinton Ave. 396-7050, 1-800-880-6475. www. amod.org.

FILM

WRI Film Forum. Four-day educational film program, with distinguished actors, screenwriters, directors and more. Winthrop Rockefeller Institute, 3 p.m.; March 22, 9 a.m.; March 23, 8 a.m.; March 24, 9:15 a.m., $250-$750. 1 Rockefeller Drive, Morrilton. 727-5435. www. uawri.org.

POETRY

POETluck. Literary salon and potluck. The Writer’s Colony at Dairy Hollow, third Thursday of every month, 6 p.m. 515 Spring St., Eureka

Springs. 479-253-7444.

SPORTS

Live horse racing. Thu.-Sun. every week until April 13, plus Martin Luther King Day and Memorial Day. Oaklawn, $2. 2705 Central Ave., Hot Springs. 501-623-4411. www.oaklawn.com.

CAMPS

Wildwood’s Junior Naturalist Camp. For ages 7-11. Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts, through March 22, 9 a.m., $180. 20919 Denny Road.

FRIDAY, MARCH 22

MUSIC

Aces Wild (headliner), Dave-O (happy hour).

Cajun’s Wharf, 5:30 and 9 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-375-5351. www. cajunswharf.com.

Acoustic Merlins — Rock & Rogers, Tommy Rock. Cregeen’s Irish Pub, 8:30 p.m. 301 Main St., NLR. 501-376-7468. www.cregeens.com.

The Apache Relay, Adam Faucett & The Tall Grass. 18-and-older. Stickyz Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicken Shack, 9:30 p.m., $10. 107 Commerce St. 501-372-7707. www.stickyz.com.

Big Silver. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 2500 W 7th St. 501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Brian Ramsey. Flying Saucer, 9 p.m., $3. 323 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-8032. www. beerknurd.com/stores/littlerock.

Class of ‘87 Band. West End Smokehouse and Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 215 N. Shackleford. 501-224-

7665. www.westendsmokehouse.net.

Club Nights at 1620 Savoy. Dance night, with DJs, drink specials and bar menu, until 2 a.m.

1620 Savoy, 10 p.m. 1620 Market St. 501-2211620. www.1620savoy.com.

Confederate Railroad. Juanita’s, 10 p.m., $17 adv., $20 day of. 614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www.juanitas.com.

Crash Meadows (headliner), Richie Johnson (happy hour). Cajun’s Wharf, 5:30 and 9 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-3755351. www.cajunswharf.com.

Earl & Them. Denton’s Trotline, 9:30 p.m., $8.

2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Ed Burks. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, March 22-23, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501324-2999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Fire & Brimstone Duo. Montego Cafe, 5 p.m.

315 Main St. 501-372-1555. www.montegocafe.com.

Friday night at Sway. Sway, 9 p.m. 412 Louisiana.

501-907-2582.

Gypsy Lumberjacks. Vino’s. 923 W. 7th St. 501375-8466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

The Hardy Windburn Experience. The Afterthought, 9 p.m., $7. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

Joey Farr & The Fuggins Wheat Band. Midtown Billiards, March 22-23, 12:30 a.m., $5. 1316 Main St. 501-372-9990. midtownar.com.

The Mansion Family, Uncle Joe and The Backsliders’ Choir. Maxine’s, 8 p.m., $5 adv., $7 door. 700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. www. maxinespub.com.

Midas Coven. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 9 p.m.

314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub. com.

Nappy Roots. 18-and-older. Revolution, 9 p.m.

300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Synergy, DJ Sleepy Genius. Montego Cafe, 8:30 p.m. 315 Main St. 501-372-1555. www. montegocafe.com.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 9 p.m., free. 111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www.capitalhotel.com/CBG. “YOLO.” Featuring four DJs and beach volleyball, 18-and-older. Flying DD, $5. 4601 S. University. 501-773-9990. flyingdd.com.

COMEDY

ImprovLittleRock’s “Battle Royale!” Improvisers will go head-to-head, with the audience declaring winners. The Public Theatre, March 22-23, 10 p.m., $8. 616 Center St. 501-374-7529. www. thepublictheatre.com.

John Wesley Austin, Mike Smith. The Loony Bin, 7:30 and 10 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-228-5555. www.loonybincomedy.com.

The Main Thing: “The Last Night at Orabella’s.”

Original two-act comedic play about the residents of tiny, fictional Dumpster, Ark. The Joint, 8 p.m., $20. 301 Main St. No. 102, NLR. 501-3720205. thejointinlittlerock.com.

Peter Barrera. UARK Bowl, 8 and 10:30 p.m., $7.

644 W. Dickson St., Fayetteville. 479-301-2030. www.uarkballroom.com.

EVENTS

Cruisin’ in the Rock. River Market Pavilions, 6 p.m., free. 400 President Clinton Ave. 501-3703201. www.rivermarket.info.

Fantastic Friday. Literary and music event, refreshments included. For reservations, call 479-968-2452 or email artscenter@century-

tel.net. River Valley Arts Center, Every third Friday, 7 p.m., $10 suggested donation. 1001 E. B St., Russellville. 479-968-2452. www.arvartscenter.org.

LGBTQ/SGL Youth and Young Adult Group.

Diverse Youth for Social Change is a group for LGBTQ/SGL and straight ally youth and young adults age 14 to 23. For more information, call 244-9690 or search “DYSC” on Facebook. 800 Scott St., 6:30 p.m. 800 Scott St. Meet the Cat in the Hat and Clifford the Big Red Dog. See March 21.

Sen. John McCain. Sen. McCain will discuss current affairs in the United States and abroad.

Clinton School of Public Service, 6 p.m. 1200 President Clinton Ave. 501-683-5239. www. clintonschool.uasys.edu.

FILM

Little Rock Horror Picture Show. Horror film fest hosted at Argenta Community Theater and The Joint. Argenta Community Theater, March 22-24, $43 (event pass). 405 Main St., NLR. 501353-1443. argentacommunitytheater.org.

WRI Film Forum. See March 21.

POETRY

“A Hair Affair.” Fundraiser for LGBT homelessness advocates Lucie’s Place and HIV/AIDS support group LACorp, with a fashion show, competition between local hair salons, local arts and crafts and live music from Winston Family Orchestra. Terry House, 6 p.m., $10 adv., $15 door. 7th and Rock Streets. 501-372-4000. https://www.wepay.com/events/a-hair-affair.

SPORTS

Live horse racing. See March 21.

BOOKS

“Building Great Sentences: Exploring the Writer’s Craft.” Faulkner County Library, March 22, 2 p.m.; April 5, 2 p.m., free. 1900 Tyler St., Conway. 501-327-7482. www.fcl.org.

CAMPS

Wildwood’s Junior Naturalist Camp. For ages 7-11. Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts, 9 a.m., $180. 20919 Denny Road.

SATURDAY, MARCH 23

MUSIC

Air Review, Adam Faucett & The Tall Grass, Fitra. Maxine’s, 8 p.m., $6 adv., $8 door. 700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. www.maxinespub. com.

The B-Flats. The Afterthought, 9 p.m., $7. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

Backroad Anthem. 18-and-older. Stickyz Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicken Shack, 9 p.m. 107 Commerce St. 501-372-7707. www.stickyz.com.

Black Water. West End Smokehouse and Tavern, 10 p.m., $5. 215 N. Shackleford. 501-224-7665. www.westendsmokehouse.net.

Blood Birds. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m., $5.

2500 W 7th St. 501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Brian Ramsay. Cregeen’s Irish Pub, 8 p.m., $5.

301 Main St., NLR. 501-376-7468. www.cregeens.com.

Club Nights at 1620 Savoy. See March 22.

Delta Donnie Band. W.T. Bubba’s Country Tavern, 9 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501244-2528.

Ed Burks. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, 7 p.m.

500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www. sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Fortune N Flames. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 9 p.m. 314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub.com.

Indie Music Night Hip-Hop Showcase.

Downtown Music Hall, 9 p.m. 211 W. Capitol.

501-376-1819. downtownmusichall.com.

Jason Campbell (birthday show). Denton’s Trotline, 9 p.m., $10. 2150 Congo Road, Benton.

501-315-1717.

JMZ Dean, Sleepy Genius, Justin Sane, Ewell, g-force. With Dominique Sanchez & The Disco Dolls at 12:30 a.m. and a performance from J-Kwon. Discovery Nightclub, 9 p.m., $10. 1021 Jessie Road. 501-664-4784. www.latenightdisco.com.

Joey Farr & The Fuggins Wheat Band.

Midtown Billiards, 12:30 a.m., $5. 1316 Main St. 501-372-9990. midtownar.com.

Karaoke at Khalil’s. Khalil’s Pub, 7 p.m. 110 S. Shackleford Road. 501-224-0224. www.khalilspub.com.

Karaoke. Casa Mexicana, 7 p.m. 6929 JFK Blvd., NLR. 501-835-7876.

Karaoke with Kevin & Cara. All-ages, on the restaurant side. Revolution, 9 p.m.-12:45 a.m., free. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Katmandu. Thirst n’ Howl, 7:30 p.m. 14710 Cantrell Road. 501-379-8189. www.thirst-nhowl.com.

K.I.S.S. Saturdays. Featuring DJ Silky Slim. Dress code enforced. Sway, 10 p.m. 412 Louisiana.

501-492-9802.

Michael Eubanks. Newk’s Express Cafe, 6:30 p.m. 1412 Higdon Ferry Road, Hot Springs.

501-321-4221. www.newkscafe.com.

Not in the Face! Bear’s Den Pizza, 9:30 p.m., free. 235 Farris Road, Conway. 501-328-5556. www.bearsdenpizza.com.

Pickin’ Porch. Bring your instrument. All ages welcome. Faulkner County Library, 9:30 a.m.

1900 Tyler St., Conway. 501-327-7482. www. fcl.org.

Pinback, JP Inc. All-ages. Revolution, 9 p.m., $12 adv., $15 day of. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Rodge Arnold. Flying Saucer, 9 p.m., $3. 323 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-8032. www. beerknurd.com/stores/littlerock.

Singer/Songwriters Showcase. Parrot Beach Cafe, 2-7 p.m., free. 9611 MacArthur Drive, NLR. 771-2994.

The Stone Foxes, Stella Luss, Randy Harsey.

Juanita’s, 10 p.m., $8 adv., $10 day of. 614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www. juanitas.com.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 9 p.m., free. 111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www. capitalhotel.com/CBG. White Noise Theory (headliner), Ben Byers (happy hour). Cajun’s Wharf, 5:30 and 9 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-3755351. www.cajunswharf.com.

COMEDY

ImprovLittleRock’s “Battle Royale!.”

Improvisers will go head-to-head, with the audience declaring winners. The Public Theatre, 10 p.m., $8. 616 Center St. 501-374-7529. www. thepublictheatre.com.

John Wesley Austin, Mike Smith. The Loony Bin, 7:30 and 10 p.m., $7-$10. 10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-228-5555. www.loonybin-

comedy.com.

The Main Thing: “The Last Night at Orabella’s.”

See March 22.

DANCE

Little Rock West Coast Dance Club. Dance lessons. Singles welcome. Ernie Biggs, 7 p.m., $2. 307 Clinton Ave. 501-247-5240. www. arstreetswing.com.

EVENTS

Falun Gong meditation. Allsopp Park, 9 a.m., free. Cantrell & Cedar Hill Roads.

Hillcrest Farmers Market. Pulaski Heights Baptist Church, 7 a.m.-noon. 2200 Kavanaugh Blvd.

Kite Festival. With vendors, games, activities, music and more. Turpentine Creek Wildlife Refuge, 10 a.m., free. 239 Turpentine Creek Lane, Eureka Springs. 479-253-5841. www. turpentinecreek.org.

“Stop the War on Women.” Protest of the extreme reproductive laws passed recently by the Arkansas Legislature. Signs are welcome, but they cannot be attached to sticks. Arkansas State Capitol, 3 p.m. 5th and Woodlane.

FILM

Laurence Luckinbill: “Great Americans: Words Matter.” A 90-minute showcase of Luckinbill’s award-winning “Clarence Darrow Tonight!,” “Teddy Tonight!” Winthrop Rockefeller Institute, 8 p.m., $25. 1 Rockefeller Drive, Morrilton. 727-5435. www.uawri.org.

Little Rock Horror Picture Show. See March 22.

“Seven Wonders of the Buddhist World.”

Potluck and film screening. Ecumenical Buddhist Society, 6:30 p.m. 1015 W. 2nd St. 501-376-7056. www.ebslr.org.

WRI Film Forum. See March 21.

POETRY

Awkward Poetry Slam presents the Era Slam.

Andina Cafe And Coffee Roastery, 6 p.m., $5.

433 E. 3rd. St. 501-376-2326. www.facebook. com/AwkwardPoetrySlam.

SPORTS

2013 SEC Gymnastics Championship. Verizon Arena, 2 p.m., $8-$16. 1 Alltel Arena Way, NLR. 501-975-9001. verizonarena.com.

Live horse racing. See March 21.

BOOKS

Ed Raarup. Book signing with the author of “Fireflies and Shooting Stars.” WordsWorth Books & Co., 3 p.m. 5920 R St. 501-663-9198. www.wordsworthbooks.org.

John McDonnell. Book-signing with the former Razorbacks track and field coach. Go! Running, noon. 1819 N. Grant St. 501-6636800. gorunning.com.

Shelia E. Lipsey. Booksigning with the author of “What’s Blood Got to Do with It?” Pyramid Art Books and Custom Framing, 1:30 p.m., free. 1001 Wright Ave. 501-372-6822. hearnefineart.com.

SUNDAY, MARCH 24

MUSIC

Karaoke with DJ Sara. Hardrider Bar & Grill, 7 p.m., free. 6613 John Harden Drive, Cabot. 501-982-1939 .

CONTINUED ON PAGE 28

DRINK LOCAL www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

27

THEATER REVIEW

A thrill Winning debut of “Treasure Island” at Arkansas Repertory Theatre.

BY ROBERT BELL

B

ased on what I knew ahead of time about the brand new musical version of “Treasure Island” that premiered last week at the Arkansas Repertory Theatre, I was expecting an adaptation of a classic children’s tale that focused on the ways greed can motivate us at our own peril.

Prior to opening, book writer Carla Vitale and director/choreographer and co-book writer Brett Smock discussed the production with the Times. “We’ve always put greed at the front, and we’ve leveraged the show against what people do in the face of having more, wanting more, getting more,” Smock said. While those elements are certainly examined in the production, their treatment isn’t in any way distracting from the actionfilled story.

And it’s not that I was anticipating that the creative team had transformed the tale into some hand-wringing, deeply philosophical treatise on the nature of greed or anything. It’s just that “Treasure Island” ended up being more fun, and a lot funnier, than I was anticipating.

The show will definitely appeal to musical theater lovers of all ages, but for families with children it will prove to be an absolute blast, with riveting action, soaring music, deft choreography and a cast that, by turns, makes the audience laugh, grimace and cheer.

That said, this is an intense show and might be a bit scary for very young kids.

The story — somewhat condensed, out of necessity — moves along briskly. But it nonetheless feels complete and satisfying.

Most audiences are probably familiar with the story of young Jim Hawkins, Squire Trelawney and, of course, the pirate Long John Silver.

Even so, I don’t want to give away too much, so I’ll stick with some of the things that stood out the most and made this musical so enjoyable: • Stanley Meyer’s set works wonderfully in its multiple duties as The Admiral Benbow Inn, the deck of The Hispaniola and various points on The Island. Also, Rafael Colon Castanera’s costumes look simply awesome.

• By nature, a historically accurate 18th-century nautical setting won’t allow for too many women, but Kristy Cates is fantastic as Mother Mary 28

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

Hawkins. Not only can she sing beautifully, she gets in some hilarious lines.

• Speaking of hilarious lines, there are many in “Treasure Island,” including a slight variation on the original text, in which Squire Trelawney, in hiring one of the shipmates, says to Dr. Livesy, “The abominable age we live in — to have lost your pension!” That line elicited a few knowing chuckles from a post-Great Recession crowd.

• Richard B. Watson is excellent as Long John Silver, a role that calls for an actor with the chops to turn on a dime, transforming from a shifty-eyed deceiver to a snarling animal and back again. Watson does so effortlessly.

There’s a particular laugh that emanates from deep within his second-act Silver that will make you shudder. He shines in this production. That he does so while traversing the stage in a prosthetic peg-leg makes his performance all the more impressive.

• If I had to point to one person from this richly talented cast as having stolen the show, it would be Patrick Richwood in the role of the castaway Ben Gunn (you might remember Richwood from his role as the doorman in “Pretty Woman”). Richwood’s Gunn is a tortured, slinky, space-cadet survivor who resembles more than anything some shell-shocked rodent that somehow survived Armageddon. And despite possessing riches beyond imagination, all this mousy weirdo really wants some is some cheese. That simple desire seeps hilariously from his every move. I can’t overstate how physically magnetic and funny Richwood is.

Really, though, there isn’t a cast member that doesn’t command your attention, nor a song that falls flat or goes on too long. And again, if you’re looking to take your children to a show at The Rep, don’t skip “Treasure Island,” because while the upcoming productions of “Death of a Salesman” and “Avenue Q” that close out this season will probably be entertaining, they’re not exactly made for kiddos.

“Treasure Island” runs through March 31, 7 p.m. Wednesday-Thursday, 8 p.m.

Friday-Saturday and 2 p.m. and 7 p.m.

Sunday. Tickets are $30-$60, with a halfprice discount for students with ID.

AFTER DARK, CONT. Lee Fields & The Expressions, Lady. Juanita’s, 8 p.m., $12 adv., $15 day of. 614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www.juanitas.com.

Michael Eubanks. Lone Star Steakhouse and Saloon, 7 p.m. 10901 N Rodney Parham Road.

501-227-8898. www.lonestarsteakhouse.com.

Stardust Big Band. Arlington Hotel, 3 p.m., $8.

239 Central Ave., Hot Springs. 501-623-7771.

Successful Sunday. Featuring live music and DJs. Montego Cafe, 7 p.m. 315 Main St. 501372-1555. www.montegocafe.com.

Sunday Jazz Brunch with Ted Ludwig and Joe Cripps. Vieux Carre, 11 a.m. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.vieuxcarrecafe.com.

EVENTS

“Fireflies and Shooting Stars.” Special presentation of the children’s book “Fireflies and Shooting Stars” by Ed Raarup, with musical arrangements by Michael Rice. RSVP to rachael@wildwoodpark.org, or call 501-8217275 ext. 259. Wildwood Park for the Performing Arts, 2 p.m., free. 20919 Denny Road.

“Live from the Back Room.” Spoken word event. Vino’s, 7 p.m. 923 W. 7th St. 501-3758466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

FILM

Little Rock Horror Picture Show. See March 22.

WRI Film Forum. See March 21.

SPORTS

Live horse racing. See March 21.

MONDAY, MARCH 25

MUSIC

Irish Traditional Music Session. “SloPlay” begins at 6 p.m. Public session begins at 7 p.m. Hibernia Irish Tavern, Fourth and second Monday of every month. 9700 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-246-4340. www.hiberniairishtavern.com.

Jazz at The Afterthought: Barry McVinney.

The Afterthought, 8 p.m., $5. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

Soul Asylum. All-ages. Revolution, 8 p.m., $20.

300 President Clinton Ave. 501-823-0090. revroom.com.

Wolvie Rock, Think no Think. Vino’s. 923 W. 7th St. 501-375-8466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

EVENTS

UCA’s Green Week. Sustainability event, featuring booths, speakers, documentary films and more. University of Central Arkansas, March 25-29, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and 6 p.m. 201 Donaghey Ave., Conway. www.uca.edu.

TUESDAY, MARCH 26

MUSIC

Aaron Carter, The Supporting Cast, Nikki Flores, Petrel, Pricecrew. Juanita’s, 9 p.m., $12 adv., $15 day of. 614 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-1228. www.juanitas.com.

Arkansas River Blues Society Blues Jam Fundraiser. Thirst n’ Howl, 7:30 p.m. 14710 Cantrell Road. 501-379-8189. www.thirst-nhowl.com.

The Hudson Falcons, Dressed for the Occasion.

White Water Tavern, 10 p.m. 2500 W 7th St. 501375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Irene and The Sleepers. Bear’s Den Pizza, 9:30 p.m., free. 235 Farris Road, Conway. 501-3285556. www.bearsdenpizza.com.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Justin McGoldrick. Part of Tales from the South.

Starving Artist Cafe, 5 p.m. 411 N. Main St., NLR. 501-372-7976. www.starvingartistcafe.net.

Karaoke Night. Cornerstone Pub & Grill, 8 p.m.

314 Main St., NLR. 501-374-1782. cstonepub. com.

Karaoke Tuesday. Prost, 8 p.m., free. 322 President Clinton Blvd. 501-244-9550.

Karaoke with Big John Miller. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-3151717.

Lucious Spiller Band. Copeland’s Restaurant of Little Rock, 6-9 p.m. 2602 S. Shackleford Road. 501-312-1616. www.copelandsrestaurantlittlerock.com.

Open Jam. The Joint, 8 p.m., free. 301 Main St. No. 102, NLR. 501-372-0205. thejointinlittlerock.com.

Ricky David Tripp. Rocket Twenty One, 5:30 p.m. 2601 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-603-9208. www. ferneaurestaurant.com.

Sw/mm/ng. White Water Tavern, 10 p.m. 2500 W 7th St. 501-375-8400. www.whitewatertavern.com.

Tuesday Jam Session with Carl Mouton. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., free. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www.afterthoughtbar.com.

UCA Dixieland Jazz Band. Faulkner County Library, 7 p.m., free. 1900 Tyler St., Conway.

501-327-7482. www.fcl.org.

Zoogma. George’s Majestic Lounge, 9 p.m., $12.

519 W. Dickson St., Fayetteville. 479-442-4226.

COMEDY

Doug Stanhope. UARK Bowl, 8 p.m., $25. 644 W. Dickson St., Fayetteville. 479-301-2030. www. uarkballroom.com.

Jim Gaffigan’s “White Bread Tour.” Robinson Center Music Hall, 7 p.m., $48-$58. Markham and Broadway. www.littlerockmeetings.com/ conv-centers/robinson.

DANCE

“Latin Night.” Revolution, 7 p.m., $5 regular, $7 under 21. 300 President Clinton Ave. 501-8230090. www.revroom.com.

EVENTS

Betsy Fischer Martin. Presentation from the executive producer of NBC’s “Meet the Press.” Clinton School of Public Service, 6 p.m., free. 1200 President Clinton Ave. 501683-5239. www.clintonschool.uasys.edu.

Brown Bag Lunch Lecture: “The Real Housewives of Chicot County: Gender and Slavery in Antebellum Arkansas.” Old State House Museum, noon, free. 500 Clinton Ave. 501-324-9685. www.oldstatehouse.com.

Science Cafe. The Afterthought, 7 p.m., free.

2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www. afterthoughtbar.com.

Tales from the South. Authors tell true stories; schedule available on website. Dinner served 5-6:30 p.m., show at 7 p.m. Call for reservations. Starving Artist Cafe, 5 p.m. 411 N. Main St., NLR. 501-372-7976. www.starvingartistcafe.net.

“Trails of Blood: Escaping the Confederacy.”

Presented by Lorien Foote, history professor at The University of Central Arkansas. Second Presbyterian Church, 7 p.m., free. 600 Pleasant Valley Drive. www.civilwarbuff.org.

Trivia Bowl. Flying Saucer, 8:30 p.m. 323 President Clinton Ave. 501-372-8032. www. beerknurd.com/stores/littlerock.

UCA’s Green Week. Sustainability event, featuring booths, speakers, documentary films and more. University of Central Arkansas, through March 29, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and 6 p.m.

201 Donaghey Ave., Conway. www.uca.edu.

FILM

Vino’s Picture Show: “The Wizard of Oz.” Vino’s, 7:30 p.m., free. 923 W. 7th St. 501-3758466. www.vinosbrewpub.com.

AFTER DARK, CONT.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 27

MUSIC

Acoustic Open Mic. The Afterthought, 8 p.m., free. 2721 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-663-1196. www. afterthoughtbar.com.

Blacklist Union. Downtown Music Hall, 8 p.m., $8 adv., $10 day of. 211 W. Capitol. 501-3761819. downtownmusichall.com.

Brian & Nick. Cajun’s Wharf, 5 and 9 p.m., $5 after 8:30 p.m. 2400 Cantrell Road. 501-3755351. www.cajunswharf.com.

Dueling Pianos. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m., $5.

2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-315-1717.

Jim Dickerson. Sonny Williams’ Steak Room, 7 p.m. 500 President Clinton Ave. 501-324-2999. www.sonnywilliamssteakroom.com.

Joey Farr & The Fuggins Wheat Band. 18-andolder. Stickyz Rock ‘n’ Roll Chicken Shack, 8:30 p.m., $4. 107 Commerce St. 501-372-7707. www.stickyz.com.

Karaoke at Khalil’s. Khalil’s Pub, 7 p.m. 110 S. Shackleford Road. 501-224-0224. www.khalilspub.com.

Karaoke Extravaganza. Includes drink and food specials and cash prizes. Montego Cafe, 9 p.m., $5. 315 Main St. 501-372-1555. www. montegocafe.com.

Karaoke with Big John Miller. Denton’s Trotline, 8 p.m. 2150 Congo Road, Benton. 501-3151717.

Live Karaoke and Dueling Pianos. Featuring Dell Smith and William Staggers. Montego Cafe, 9 p.m. 315 Main St. 501-372-1555. www. montegocafe.com.

Ricky David Tripp. Rocket Twenty One, 5:30 p.m. 2601 Kavanaugh Blvd. 501-603-9208. www. ferneaurestaurant.com.

RockUsaurus. Senor Tequila (Maumelle Blvd.), March 27, 7-9 p.m.; April 10, 7-9 p.m.; May 1, 7-9 p.m.; May 15, 7-9 p.m.; May 29, 7-9 p.m., free. 9847 Maumelle Blvd., NLR. 501-758-4432.

Ted Ludwig Trio. Capital Bar and Grill, 5 p.m., free. 111 Markham St. 501-374-7474. www. capitalhotel.com/CBG.

COMEDY

The Joint Venture. Improv comedy group. The Joint, 8 p.m., $5. 301 Main St. No. 102, NLR. 501-372-0205. thejointinlittlerock.com.

Standup Open Mic Night. Hosted by local come­di­ans of the com­edy col­lec­tive Come­di­ ans of NWA. UARK Bowl, 9 p.m., free. 644 W. Dickson St., Fayetteville. 479-301-2030. uark-

“Treasure Island.” World premiere of a new musical version of the classic Robert Louis Stevenson tale. Arkansas Repertory Theatre, through March 31: Wed., Thu., Sun., 7 p.m.; Fri., Sat., 8 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m. 601 Main St. 501378-0405. www.therep.org.

“The Vagina Monologues.” Performances of Eve Ensler’s work will be hosted in Burdick Hall Room 205. University of Central Arkansas, March 27-29, 7 p.m., $5. 201 Donaghey Ave., Conway. www.uca.edu.

bowl.com.

Will Marfori. The Loony Bin, March 27-28, 7:30 p.m.; March 29-30, 7:30 and 10 p.m., $7-$10.

10301 N. Rodney Parham Road. 501-228-5555. www.loonybincomedy.com.

DANCE

Little Rock Bop Club. Beginning dance lessons for ages 10 and older. Singles welcome. Bess Chisum Stephens Community Center, 7 p.m., $4 for members, $7 for guests. 12th & Cleveland streets. 501-350-4712. www.littlerockbopclub.

GALLERIES, MUSEUMS

EVENTS

NEW EXHIBITIONS, EVENTS

Arvind Singhal. The William J. Clinton Distinguished Fellow will discuss “Liberating Structures,” a set of three dozen structured environments that enable people to interact in a way that releases their creative potential.

Clinton School of Public Service, 6 p.m., free.

1200 President Clinton Ave. 501-683-5239. www. clintonschool.uasys.edu.

UCA’s Green Week. Sustainability event, featuring booths, speakers, documentary films and more. University of Central Arkansas, through March 29, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. and 6 p.m.

201 Donaghey Ave., Conway. www.uca.edu.

More art listings can be found in the calendar at www.arktimes.com ARKANSAS ARTS CENTER, MacArthur Park: “Ron Meyers: A Potter’s Menagerie,” 100 ceramic pieces in various forms and drawings, March 22-May 5; “52nd Young Arkansas Artists Exhibition,” art by Arkansas students K-12, through May 5, awards ceremony noon-3 p.m. April 7; “Wendy Maruyama: Tag Project/ Executive Order 9066,” work inspired by the internment, through April 21; “Edward Weston: Leaves of Grass,” 53 gelatin-silver prints, through April 21. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sat., 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Sun. 372-4000.

ARGENTA ARTS DISTRICT: “JFK 50 Years Later,” archival photography exhibition by Rogers Photo Archives and Argenta Images, March 25-30, Art Connection Gallery, Argenta Community Theater, Greg Thompson Fine Art Gallery, Starving Artist, Pennington Photo Studio, The Joint, THEA Foundation and the Paint Box Gallery. Opens with film by Craig Renaud on JFK, 7 p.m. March 25; reading of JFK’s inaugural address by Gov. Mike Beebe, noon March 26, 420 Main; talk by photographer Willie Allen, “Shooting JFK,” 6 p.m. March 27 at ACT, 4 p.m. March 30 at the Joint; screening of “JFK,” 7 p.m. March 28 at ACT, and art auction of work by Kevin Kresse, Matt McLeod, Doug Norton, Stephano Sutherlin and Emily Wood at 7 p.m. March 30, ticketed events benefit the Argenta Arts Foundation and NLR Moonshot Project. 225-5600.

BOSWELL-MOUROT FINE ART, 5815 Kavanaugh Blvd.: “Looking Out,” pastels and paintings by Robin Hazard-Bishop and Hans Feyerabend, opens with reception 6-9 p.m.

March 23, show through April 13. 664-0030.

CENTRAL HIGH SCHOOL MUSEUM VISITOR

POETRY

Wednesday Night Poetry. 21-and-older show.

Maxine’s, 7 p.m., free. 700 Central Ave., Hot Springs. 501-321-0909. maxineslive.com/shows. html.

THIS WEEK IN THEATER

Arkansas Arts Center Children’s Theatre: “The Princess and the Pea.” Arkansas Arts Center, through March 24: Fri., 7 p.m.; Sat., 3 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m., $10-$12. 501 E. 9th St. 501-372-4000. www.arkarts.com.

“Company.” The award-winning musical from Stephen Sondheim about a contemplative bachelor on the night of his 35th birthday. The Weekend Theater, through March 24: Fri., Sat., 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 2:30 p.m. 1001 W. 7th St. 501374-3761. www.weekendtheater.org.

“Rex’s Exes.” Comedy in which the Verdeen cousins of Sweetgum, Texas — Gaynelle, Peaches and Jimmy Wyvette — teeter on the brink of disaster again. Murry’s Dinner Playhouse, through April 7: Tue.-Sat., 6 p.m.; Wed., 11 a.m.; Sun., 11 a.m. and 5:30 p.m., $15-$35. 6323 Col. Glenn Road. 501-562-3131. murrysdinnerplayhouse.com.

SEHABLAESPAÑOL E NU ESTR A CO UESTR MUN IDAD A COM UNIDA TRA CO D MUNIDA D 18 D E

LA VO

LA VOZ

FAYETTEVILLE UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS, Fine Arts Center: Visiting artist lecture by sculptor Leonard Drew, 5:30 p.m. March 26, at dedication of new Hillside Auditorium Building; “Submerged: A Solo Exhibition of Photographic Works by Kendra North,” through March 29; closing reception and lecture by the artist 6 p.m. March 28. 479-575-7987.

FORT SMITH FORT SMITH REGIONAL ART MUSEUM: “Bridging the Past, Present and Future: Recent Works by Sandra Ramos,” prints, video and objects by Cuban artist, opens March 28; “The Secrets of the Mona Lisa”; “Mona Lisa’s Daughters: Portraits of Women from the Arkansas Arts Center Collection,” works by 31 artists, including Milton Avery, Will Barnett, Chuck Close, Naomi Fisher, Norman Rockwell, Byron Browne and Alex Katz. 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

Thu.-Sat., 1-5 p.m. Sun. 479-784-2787.

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BENTONVILLE CRYSTAL BRIDGES MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART, One Museum Way: “Views on “American Chronicles,” talk by curator Kevin Murphy on the exhibition of Norman Rockwell paintings and covers, 1-1:45 p.m. March 28. 479-4185700.

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Free publication available at 200 locations in Central Arkansas PATR ICIA G PAPTR RIM ICIA ERGAUNA UARDADO PRDIC PATR : RDERAD IV EIAER IM SUGU www.ellatinoarkansas.com • Facebook.com/ellatinoarkansas SAOR: AMN AR UIVEDAT DO PRDIMEPER ASGU.5AN ESAR: IO MU ER RER TESARIO IO DEPA G.5MUE IVER SU RT E PAG.5 201 E. MARKHAM, SUITE 200 | LITTLE ROCK | 501.374.0853

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El Latino is Arkansas’s only weekly circulation-audited Spanish language newspaper. Arkansas has the second fastest growing Latino population in the country, and smart business people are targeting this market as they develop business relationships with these new consumers.

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CENTER, Bates and Park: Women’s History Month presentation, “Agents of Change: Guest in a Strange House,” by Dr. Sybil Jordan Hampton, 1-2:30 p.m. March 23; exhibits on the 1957 desegregation of Central and the civil rights movement. 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. daily. 374-1957.

PAINT BOX GALLERY AND FRAME SHOP, 705 Main St., NLR: New paintings by Mike Spain. 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m. Tue.-Fri., 10-3 p.m.

Sat. 374-2848.

UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS AT LITTLE ROCK: “Annual Student Competitive,” 140 works from students in all disciplines, through May 3, Gallery I, reception 12:15 p.m. April 2; “A Table of Elements,” ceramics and wood by Sandy Simon and Robert Brady, through April 3, Gallery II, gallery talk 2 p.m. April 4; “John Harlan Norris: Occupants,” portraits, Gallery III, through March 21. Gallery closed March 23-25 for spring break. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.Fri., 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Sat., 2-5 p.m. Sun. 569-8977.

12th ANNUAL OZARK FOOTHILLS FILMFEST www.ozarkfoothillsfilmfest.org | (870) 251-1189 www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

29

MOVIE LISTINGS

MARCH 14-16

SHOP LOCAL SUPER CREEP: Nicole Kidman and Mia Wasikowska star in the very spooky thriller “Stoker.”

Frances Flower Shop, Inc. Located in beautiful downtown Little Rock two blocks from the Arkansas State Capitol building.

We send flowers worldwide through Teleflora.

Proudly serving the Greater Little Rock area since 1950.

1222 West Capitol • little RoCk, aR 72201 501.372.2203 • WWW.fRanCesfloWeRshop.Com

wmichaelabstract.com W. Michael Spain art is available at

705 Main St. • Downtown Argenta 374.2848 30

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

Market Street Cinema times at or after 9 p.m. are for Friday and Saturday only. Rave showtimes are for Friday only. Showtimes for Breckenridge, Chenal 9, Lakewood 8, McCain Mall, Movies 10 and Riverdale were not available by press deadline. Find up-to-date listings at arktimes.com.

NEW MOVIES Admission (PG-13) — Tina Fey is an admissions officer at Princeton in this First World-problems comedy. Rave: 11:30 a.m., 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:15, midnight.

The Croods (PG) — Animated story of a cavefamily that must venture into uncharted realms.

Rave: 12:15, 2:50, 5:30, 7:15, 8:00, 9:45, 10:30 (2D), 10:35 a.m., 1:10, 3:55, 6:30, 9:05 (3D) 11:10 a.m., 1:50, 4:25 (3D eXtreme).

In APPropriate Comedy (R) — Sketch comedy with Adrien Brody, Lindsay Lohan, Rob Schneider and Ari Shaffir as “The Amazing Racist,” all of which should frighten off most folks. Market Street: 2:00, 4:20, 7:00, 9:15.

Olympus Has Fallen (R) — Terrorists overtake the White House and kidnap the president in this not-at-all-utterly-implausible movie with Gerard Butler and Morgan Freeman. Rave: 7:00, 10:00 (eXtreme), 10:00 a.m., 11:15 a.m., 1:15, 2:15, 4:10, 5:10, 8:05, 11:00, midnight.

Spring Breakers (R) — Sex-drugs-and-dubstep skeeze-fest from director Harmony Korine, starring James Franco and his cornrows, grill and terrible Southern accent. Rave: 11:00 a.m., 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15, 11:50.

Stoker (R) — Ultra-creepy family murder thriller, with Nicole Kidman and Mia Wasikowska. Rave: 11:55 a.m., 2:30, 5:00, 7:40, 10:40.

RETURNING THIS WEEK 21 & Over (R) — D-bags behaving badly, from

the writers of “The Hangover,” because of course it is. Rave: 10:55 a.m., 9:40.

Argo (R) — A group of Americans in revolutionary Iran make an improbable escape, based on actual events, from director Ben Affleck.

Market Street: 4:00, 9:30.

The Call (R) — 911 operator (Halle Berry) takes a call from an adopted girl (Abigail Breslin) and ends up in danger. Rave: 11:20 a.m., 12:20, 1:50, 2:50, 4:20, 5:20, 6:50, 7:50, 9:20, 10:20, 11:45.

A Good Day to Die Hard (R) — “Die Hard” goes to Russia in search of a paycheck. Rave: 10:45 a.m.

Identity Thief (R) — Yeah, real cute Hollywood.

We’ll see how funny it is when somebody steals your debit card number and uses it to buy a bunch of iPads. Rave: 1:35, 4:30, 7:35, 10:25.

The Incredible Burt Wonderstone (PG-13) — Las Vegas superstar magicians (Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi) secretly hate each other but have to pair up to fight competition from a street magician. Rave: 11:25 a.m., 2:05, 4:45, 7:25, 10:10.

Jack the Giant Slayer (PG-13) — Basically, it’s “Jack and the Beanstalk” with a bunch of CGI monsters and Ewan McGregor. Rave: 11:05 a.m., 4:50, 10:35, (2D), 2:00, 7:35 (3D).

Life of Pi (PG) — Based on the smash-hit book of the same name, from director Ang Lee. Market Street: 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15.

Lincoln (PG-13) — Steven Spielberg’s biopic about Abraham Lincoln, with Daniel Day Lewis and Sally Field. Market Street: 1:15, 6:45.

Oz the Great and Powerful (PG) — How the Wizard of Oz got that way. Rave: 11:15 a.m., 2:20, 3:55, 5:25, 7:00, 8:30, 11:35 (2D), 10:30 a.m., 12:50, 1:35, 4:40, 7:45, 10:05, 10:50 (3D).

Quartet (PG-13) — Bunch of retired British singers in an old folks home have to get the

band back together to save the orphanage, er, sorry, the old folks home. Market Street: 2:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:15.

Safe Haven (PG-13) — Sorry dude, but you are definitely going to have to take your girlfriend to see this soft-focus yawn-fest. Rave: 10:20 a.m.

Silver Linings Playbook (R) — Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence star as two dysfunctional yet charming weirdoes who are just trying to make their way in this crazy world, OK? Jeez! Market Street: 4:15.

Snitch (R) — The Rock has to go undercover in order to save his son. Rave: 1:20, 4:05, 7:05, 9:50.

Warm Bodies (PG-13) — Pretty much “Twilight,” but with zombies instead of whatever it was “Twilight” had. Rave: 1:30, 4:40, 7:10.

West of Memphis (R) — Acclaimed new documentary about the West Memphis Three case, from director Amy Berg. Market Street: 1:15, 6:45.

Chenal 9 IMAX Theatre: 17825 Chenal Parkway, 821-2616, www.dtmovies.com.

Cinemark Tandy 10: 4188 E. McCain Blvd., 9457400, www.cinemark.com.

Cinematown Riverdale 10: Riverdale Shopping Center, 296-9955, www.riverdale10.com.

Lakewood 8: 2939 Lakewood Village Drive, 7585354, www.fandango.com.

Market Street Cinema: 1521 Merrill Drive, 3128900, www.marketstreetcinema.net.

Rave Colonel Glenn 18: 18 Colonel Glenn Plaza, 687-0499, www.ravemotionpictures.com.

Regal Breckenridge Village 12: 1-430 and Rodney Parham, 224-0990, www.fandango.com.

Regal McCain Mall 12: 3929 McCain Blvd., 7531380, www.regmovies.com.

MOVIE REVIEW

BOSWELL

MOUROT FINE ART

Opening ReceptiOn: Looking out Saturday, March 23, 2013 • 6 – 9 PM the show will run through Saturday, April 13, 2013

‘THE INCREDIBLE BURT WONDERSTONE’: Steve Carrell and Steve Buscemi star.

Almost magic ‘The Incredible Burt Wonderstone’ is all mixed up.

BY SAM EIFLING

“T

he Incredible Burt Wonderstone” is a crass, chaotic jumble of a movie that squeezes several laughs out of the raw talent of its performers. But it’s also painfully less than the sum of its parts: Steve Carrell, as the titular Vegas magician, plus Steve Buscemi as his partner, James Gandolfini as the plutocratic casino owner, Jim Carrey as a send-up of douchebag magicians everywhere (specifically those named David Blaine and Criss Angel), Alan Arkin as a retired curmudgeon magician.

Instead of darkly hilarious, or perversely strange, or consistently silly, “Wonderstone” sprays all those elements onto a sort-of feel-good comedy that mostly feels like a scattershot approach to nowhere. To put it in the most dire terms possible: Jay Mohr appears for about six minutes as a character named Rick the Implausible and gets nearly as many laughs as Carrell does in the remaining 94 minutes.

“Wonderstone” begins with little Burt getting gut-socked by a bully who tells him no one will ever like him. But when Burt receives a magic kit for his birthday, he attracts another lonely boy, Anton, who becomes his lifelong sidekick. Thirty years later, they’ve become bona fide stars. Downside is, by playing the same room in Vegas with the same sagging act for a decade, Burt, inured from real life by his fortune and fame, has become a jackass of the highest order. This transformation to a woman-using, verbally abusive burnout happens totally out of view — just one story element this potholed script expects you to write on your own — but, OK, we now instantly are supposed to loathe the protagonist. With

that, the confusion begins.

Appropriately, shifting audience tastes bring his comeuppance. Carrey’s magician, in the sharpest bit of parody “Wonderstone” serves up, drags magic into a masochistic black art with tricks such as marking a playing card, concealing it and then cutting it out of his face. Burt and Anton, pressed to keep up, instead flame out spectacularly, and on his own, Burt proves to be a sad disaster. The rest of the story tracks like a letter V — a decline, an ascent, ta-daaaaaa.

The two semi-surprises in store involve a) Burt’s relationship with his assistant (Olivia Wilde), who forgives his jackassery at ludicrous speed and b) a finale that, while borderline funny, trashes any claim the movie had toward representing magic realistically.

In context, that’s a shame. One of the tensions in “Wonderstone” is a real one: the possibility magic has to blow people’s minds, and how that power makes magic either incredibly powerful or, done badly, incredibly disappointing. At first we see Burt, with his sequined maroon jumpsuit and tragically literal choice of Steve Miller Band’s “Abracadabra” as his theme song, representing the cheeseball school of magic. Gradually he finds his way back to some pretty decent tricks.

When “Wonderstone” lets the performers simply perform, the giddy thrill is the magician-comedy equivalent of watching stunt doubles risking limbs. The filmmakers cut a few corners via edits and digital effects. But some of the tricks? The sleight of hand, the parlor classics? Those are the finest parts of the movie. They arrive as a relief, a chance to wonder how (instead of why) did they ever do that?

Robin Hazard-Bishop

Hans Feyerabend

5815 Kavanaugh Blvd • little RocK, aR 72207 • (501) 664.0030 www.BoswellmouRot.com

OUR READERS CONTRIBUTED MORE THAN

ARKANSAS TIMES READERS ARE GIVERS.

TO CHARITIES AND NON-PROFIT ORGINIZATIONS LAST YEAR. SOURCE: THE MEDIA AUDIT, JAN. 2012

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MARCH 21, 2013

31

AFTER DARK, CONT. HOT SPRINGS FINE ARTS CENTER, 626 Central Ave.: “The Great Art Caper,” mystery-themed fundraiser, 4-7 p.m. March 23, tickets $50, wine and hors d’oeuvres included. 501-624-0489.

5 P.M. Thursday, March 21

When We Style Your Art, You’re Walls Will Love You.

CUSTOM FRAMING, FRAMED PRINTS, DECORATIvE MIRRORS

TUME CONTEST

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32

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

ROGERS ROGERS HISTORICAL MUSEUM, 322 S. Second St.: “Spring Cleaning,” the history of turn-of-the-century housecleaning, March 23-May 4, 1895 Hawkins House. 479-621-1154.

CALL FOR ENTRIES

The Thea Foundation, 401 Main St., North Little Rock, is taking submissions for its 11th annual scholarship competitions for high school seniors. Submission for filmmaking scholarship due April 5. For more information, go to the theafoundation.org/scholarships or call 379-9512.

The Palette Art League is taking entries for the “2013 Young Artists of the Ozarks Competition” to be held April 9-12. Registration is 10 a.m.-5 p.m. April 8. Call 870-656-2057 for more information.

CONTINUING EXHIBITS

Thursday night is Ladies Night!

501-375-2985

JONESBORO ARKANSAS STATE UNIVERSITY: “2013 Small Works on Paper,” through March 29, Fine Arts Center Gallery. 870-972-3053.

monika@arktimes.com

BUTLER CENTER GALLERIES, Arkansas Studies Institute, 401 President Clinton Ave.: “No I’m Not, He Is: A Flying Snake and Oyyo Comic Retrospective,” cartoons by Michael Jukes; “1st Annual Membership Exhibition” by the Arkansas Society of Printmakers, through April 27. 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon.-Sat. 320-5700.

CANTRELL GALLERY, 8206 Cantrell Road: “Structures II,” paintings by Daniel Coston, through April 27. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Sat. 224-1335.

CHRIST EPISCOPAL CHURCH, 509 Scott St.: “Mid-Southern Watercolorists Spring 2013 Juried Exhibition,” through April.

CHROMA GALLERY, 5707 Kavanaugh Blvd.: Work by Robert Reep and other Arkansas artists. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Fri., 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Sat. 664-0880.

COX CREATIVE CENTER, 120 River Market Ave.: “Bridging the Burden: In Their Shoes,” boots of Arkansas soldiers killed in the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, through April 27. 9183086.

ELLEN GOLDEN ANTIQUES, 5701 Kavanaugh Blvd.: Paintings by Barry Thomas and Arden Boyce. 664-7746.

GALLERY 221, 2nd and Center Sts.: “Highlights of Spring,” work by Sean LeCrone. 801-0211.

GALLERY 26, 2601 Kavanaugh Blvd.: “The World is Flat,” recent paintings by Stephen Cefalo, through May 11. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tue.Sat. 664-8996.

GALLERY 360, 900 S. Rodney Parham: “Yosemite: Images from the Past,” prints from early 20th-century glass plates by unknown photographer, through March 30.

GORRELL GALLERY OF FINE ART, 201 W. 4th St.: Work by established and emerging artists, including Doug Gorrell. 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Tue.-Fri., noon-4 p.m. Sat. 607-2225.

HEARNE FINE ART, 1001 Wright Ave.: “The Struggle Continues ... History Unfolds,” paintings and mixed media by Frank Frazier, through April 8. 372-6822.

M2GALLERY, 11525 Cantrell: “Holiday Show,” work by Dan Holland, Suzanne Koett, Charles Henry James, Dan Thornhill and Jason Gammel. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Tue.-Sat. 225-6257.

SEQUOYAH NATIONAL RESEARCH CENTER, UALR University Plaza Suite 500: “Contemporary Art of the Osages,” J.W. Wiggins Gallery, through March 29.

BENTONVILLE CRYSTAL BRIDGES MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART, One Museum Way: “American Chronicles: The Art of Norman Rockwell,” 50 paintings and 323 Saturday Evening Post covers from the Norman Rockwell Museum in Stockbridge, Mass., through May 28, $12 nonmembers ages 19 and up; “Abstractions on Paper: From Abstract Expressionism to Post Minimalism,” through April 29, works from the collection of the Arkansas Arts Center by Lee Krasner, Helen Frankenthaler, Ellsworth Kelly and others; permanent collection of American masterworks spanning four centuries. 11 a.m.-6 p.m. Mon., Thu., Sat.-Sun.; 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Wed.-Fri. 479-418-5700.

HOT SPRINGS BLUE MOON ART GALLERY, 718 Central Ave.: “Steel Creations,” sculpture by Wayne Summerhill, through March. 501-318-2787.

FINE ARTS CENTER, 626 Central Ave.: “2013 Hot Springs Regional Art Competition,” featuring art by Dick Easter, Barbara Cade, Paige Dirksen, Rashawn Penister, John D. Woodridge and others, through March 30.

10:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Tue.-Sat. 501-624-0489 GALLERY CENTRAL, 800 Central Ave.: Bob Snider, watercolors. 501-318-4278.

JUSTUS FINE ART, 827 Central A: “Abstracts,” ceramics by Michael Ashley, paintings by Donnie Copeland and Vivian Noe-Griffith, paintings and sculpture by Robyn Horn, through March. 501-321-2335 TAYLOR’S CONTEMPORARY SALON OF FINE ART,204 Exchange St.: “The Warren Criswell Show,” paintings by the Arkansas artist. 501624-0516.

ONGOING MUSEUM EXHIBITS

CLINTON PRESIDENTIAL CENTER, 1200 President Clinton Ave.: “Jazz: Through the Eyes of Herman Leonard,” more than 40 original black and white images by photographer Herman Leonard, who documented the evolution of jazz form from the 1940s through post-Hurricane Katrina, with photographs of Miles Davis, Duke Ellington, Count Basie, Dizzy Gillespie and Ella Fitzgerald, through July 21. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Sat., 1-5 p.m. Sun. $7 adults; $5 college students, seniors, retired military; $3 ages 6-17. 370-8000.

HISTORIC ARKANSAS MUSEUM, 200 E. Third St.: “Hidden Arkansas,” photographs by 11 members of the Blue Eyed Knocker Photo Club, through May 5; “Treasures of Arkansas Freemasons, 1838-2013,” study gallery, through July 12; “Phenomena of Change: Lee Cowan, Mary Ann Stafford and Maria Botti Villegas,” through May 5; “Perfect Balance,” paintings by Marty Smith; “A Collective Vision,” recent acquisitions, through March. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Mon.-Sat., 1-5 p.m. Sun. 324-9351.

MacARTHUR MUSEUM OF ARKANSAS MILITARY HISTORY, MacArthur Park: “Undaunted Courage, Proven Loyalty: Japanese-American Soldiers in World War II,” through August; “Korea: The Forgotten War”; and other exhibits. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon.Fri., 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sat., 1-4 p.m. Sun. 376-4602.

MOSAIC TEMPLARS CULTURAL CENTER, 9th and Broadway: “The Inauguration of Hope,” life-sized sculpture of the First Family

by Ed Dwight; “Forty Years of Fortitude,” exhibit on Arkansas’s African-American legislators of the modern era. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Tue.Sat. 683-3593.

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Dining WHAT’S COOKIN’ NOW THAT SPRING has officially sprung and temperatures are beginning to warm, we’ve got farmers markets on the mind. The yearround Hillcrest Farmers Market (2200 Kavanaugh Blvd., in front of Pulaski Heights Baptist Church) will shift from winter hours (8 a.m. to noon) to spring hours (7 a.m. to noon) on April 6. That’s also the Saturday the Argenta Farmers Market kicks off. It runs from 7 a.m. to noon. The Sunday Bernice Garden Farmers Market (1401 S. Main St.) begins April 14. It’s open from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The Little Rock Farmers’ Market makes its debut on April 30. It runs from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. every Saturday and Tuesday.

AMERICAN

1620 SAVOY The food is high-quality and painstakingly prepared — a wide-ranging dinner menu that’s sure to please almost everyone. 1620 Market St. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-221-1620. D Mon.-Sat., BR Sun. ADAMS CATFISH & CATERING Catering company with carry-out restaurant in Little Rock and carry-out trailers in Russellville and Perryville. 215 N. Cross St. All CC. $-$$. 501-374-4265. L Tue.-Sat. ALL ABOARD RESTAURANT & GRILL Burgers, catfish, chicken tenders and such in this train-themed restaurant, where an elaborately engineered mini-locomotive delivers patrons meals. 6813 Cantrell Road. No alcohol. 501-975-7401. LD daily.

ALLEY OOPS Plate lunches, burgers and homemade desserts. Remarkable Chess Pie. 11900 Kanis Road. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-221-9400. LD Mon.-Sat. BR Sun. B-SIDE The little breakfast place turns tradition on its ear, offering French toast wrapped in bacon on a stick, a musthave dish called “biscuit mountain” and beignets with lemon curd. 11121 Rodney Parham Road. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-7162700. BL Wed.-Sun. BAR LOUIE This chain’s first Arkansas outlet features a something-for-everybody menu so broad and varied to be almost schizophrenic. 11525 Cantrell Road, Suite 924. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$.

501-228-0444. LD daily. 11525 Cantrell Road. 501-228-0444.

BIG WHISKEY’S AMERICAN BAR AND GRILL A modern grill pub with all the bells and whistles plus boneless wings, burgers, steaks, soups and salads. 225 E Markham St. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-3242449. LD daily.

BOBBY’S COUNTRY COOKIN’ One of the better plate lunch spots in the area, with some of the best fried chicken and pot roast around. 301 N. Shackleford Road, Suite E1. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$.

501-224-9500. L Mon.-Fri. 34

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

JESS ROBERTS

DINING CAPSULES

BBQ SHRIMP: From Andrews New Orleans Style Restaurant in Hot Springs.

Spa city, New Orleans-style Despite some bumps, Andrews impresses.

T

he old adage “good things come to those who wait” isn’t necessarily true in the restaurant business. Leisurely meals can be a great joy, as course after course hits the table to the tune of clinking glasses and lively conversation, but the flip side to this is service that’s just simply slow, with long pauses between dishes, awkward assurances from the wait staff, and a growing sense that maybe all isn’t right with the kitchen. How a restaurant handles such a thing says a lot about a place, and while our most recent meal at Andrews New Orleans Style Restaurant started off with the kitchen obviously in the weeds, it’s a story that has a happy ending.

The atmosphere at Andrews is festive in the laid-back Bohemian manner of Hot Springs’ bathhouse row. From the secondfloor dining room, the historic buildings and sights of the Spa City are laid out like a postcard, with charming guy-and-aguitar background music. We settled in and ordered a couple of appetizers, barbecued shrimp and boudin balls. The shrimp

Andrews New Orleans Style Restaurant 410 Central Ave. Hot Springs 501-623-3200 QUICK BITE The restaurant can be entered from Central Avenue, but a handy back entrance off Exchange Street provides easy access from the large parking deck.

HOURS 11 a.m. until 10 p.m. daily.

OTHER INFO Full bar, all credit cards

came out swimming in a spicy, tangy sauce that we mopped up with the buttered French bread long after the succulent shellfish had been eaten. The boudin balls, deep fried chunks of breaded pork and rice sausage, were good but small, especially considering the $8-a-platter tab. Still, the flavors of both dishes were spot-on,

and we eagerly awaited our next course.

Our eagerness turned to concern, however, and then to a slight irritation as we waited ... and waited some more. Tea glasses were emptied and refilled, and the memory of our appetizers grew more and more distant as we listened to four, five, then six songs in a row from the guitar player — who at this point was swiftly losing his charm as we became hungrier.

It was then that our waiter did something to help his kitchen out that not only gave them enough time to finish our orders, it also saved what was becoming a bad meal experience: He went to the kitchen and personally fried up an order of fresh beignets, bringing them out with an apology about our wait and an assurance that things were on track now. That’s the sort of customer service that warms our hearts, and it was a gesture made even better by the fact that those piping hot pastries with their ample coating of powdered sugar were as good as any we’ve had in the French Quarter.

When our food finally arrived, our spirits had improved, and the tasty main courses took us all the way into forgiveness. The Fried Seafood Platter, a plate of fried oysters, catfish, shrimp, and a crab cake was popular with two of us, although as with the boudin balls, the small portion didn’t seem to justify the price ($24.95).

Save the bland and rubbery crab cakes, the seafood was all freshly cooked and quite tasty. A savory, buttery shrimp scampi was the second great shrimp dish we sampled, and a delightful shrimp Alfredo made three. This Alfredo was easily the best dish of the night, with perfectly cooked egg noodles covered in a thick, Parmesanrich sauce and loaded with large, plump shrimp. Rice is popular in New Orleans cooking, but pasta is also an important staple, and it’s nice to see a place doing it so well.

Our meal at Andrews, judged on the flavors and quality of food alone, has to go down as one of our favorites. Missteps with the service were handled well — and anyone who thinks our loyalty was bought too cheaply hasn’t had those beignets. If there are strikes against the place, it’s that the portions don’t quite seem to match the price point on many dishes, as if the place is confused about whether it wants to be high-end dining or mid-range casual. But again, despite these drawbacks, the atmosphere, friendly staff, and good, honest New Orleans cooking have guaranteed a return trip to Andrews in the future.

Information in our restaurant capsules reflects the opinions of the newspaper staff and its reviewers. The newspaper accepts no advertising or other considerations in exchange for reviews, which are conducted anonymously. We invite the opinions of readers who think we are in error.

BOOKENDS CAFE Serving coffee and pastries early and sandwiches, soups and salads available after 11 a.m. Cox Creative Center.

No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501- 918-3091. BL Mon.-Sat. THE BOX Cheeseburgers and French fries are greasy and wonderful and not like their fastfood cousins. 1023 W. Seventh St. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-372-8735. L Mon.-Fri. BUFFALO GRILL A great crispy-off-the-griddle cheeseburger and hand-cut fries star. 1611 Rebsamen Park Road. Full bar, CC. $$. 501-2969535. LD daily. 400 N. Bowman Road. Full bar, Beer, All CC. $$. 501-224-0012. LD daily.

CHEERS Good burgers and sandwiches, vegetarian offerings and salads at lunch and fish specials, and good steaks in the evening. 2010 N. Van Buren. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-6635937. LD Mon.-Sat. 1901 Club Manor Drive.

Maumelle. Full bar, All CC. 501-851-6200. LD daily, BR Sun. CHICKEN WANGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CAFE Regular, barbecue, spicy, lemon, garlic pepper, honey mustard and Buffalo wings. Open late. 8320 Colonel Glenn Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-5621303. LD Mon.-Sat. CORNERSTONE PUB & GRILL A sandwich, pizza and beer joint. 314 Main St. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-374-1782. LD Mon.-Sat. DAVIDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BUTCHER BOY BURGERS Serious hamburgers, steak salads, homemade custard.

101 S. Bowman Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$.

501-227-8333. LD Mon.-Sat. 4000 McCain Blvd.

NLR. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-353-0387.

LD Mon.-Sat. FLIGHT DECK A not-your-typical daily lunch special highlights this spot, which also features inventive sandwiches, salads and a popular burger. Central Flying Service at Adams Field.

Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$. 501-975-9315. BL Mon.-Sat. THE HOP DINER The downtown incarnation of the old dairy bar, with excellent burgers, onion rings, shakes, daily specials and breakfast. 201 E. Markham. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-2440975.

LASSIS INN One of the stateâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s oldest restaurants and one of the best for catfish and buffalo fish. 518 E 27th St. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$. 501-372-8714. LD Tue.-Sat. LYNNâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S CHICAGO FOODS Outpost for Chicago specialties like Vienna hot dogs and Italian beef sandwiches. 6501 Geyer Springs.

No alcohol, All CC. $. 501-568-2646. LD Mon.-Sat. MARIEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MILFORD TRACK II Healthy and tasty are the key words at this deli/grill, featuring hot entrees, soups, sandwiches, salads and killer desserts. 9813 W Markham St. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-225-4500. BL Mon.-Sat. NEWKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S EXPRESS CAFE Gourmet sandwiches, salads and pizzas. 4317 Warden Road.

NLR. Beer, All CC. $-$$. 501-753-8826. LD daily.

PHILâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S HAM AND TURKEY PLACE Fine hams, turkeys and other specialty meats served whole, by the pound or in sandwich form.

11121 N. Rodney Parham Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-225-2136. LD Mon.-Fri. L Sat. SLICKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SANDWICH SHOP & DELI Meatand-two plate lunches in state office building.

101 E. Capitol Ave. No alcohol. 501-375-3420.

BL Mon.-Fri.

BELLY UP

B Breakfast L Lunch D Dinner $ Inexpensive (under $8/person) $$ Moderate ($8-$20/person) $$$ Expensive (over $20/person) CC Accepts credit cards

SPECTATORS GRILL AND PUB Burgers, soups, salads and other beer food, plus live music on weekends. 1012 W. 34th St. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-791-0990. LD Mon.-Sat. STARVING ARTIST CAFE All kinds of crepes, served as entrees or as dessert. The Black Forest ham sandwich is a perennial favorite with the lunch crowd. Dinner menu changes daily, good wine list. 411 N. Main St. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-372-7976. L Tue.-Sat., D Tue., Fri.-Sat. THE TAVERN SPORTS GRILL Burgers, barbecue and more. 17815 Chenal Parkway.

Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-830-2100. LD daily.

VICTORIAN GARDEN Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve found the fare quite tasty and somewhat daring and different

Check out the Timesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; food blog, Eat Arkansas arktimes.com

with its healthy, balanced entrees and crepes.

4801 North Hills Blvd. NLR. $-$$. 501-758-4299.

L Tue.-Sat. WAYNEâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S FISH & BURGERS TO GO Offers generously-portioned soulfood plate lunches and dinners â&#x20AC;&#x201D; meat, two sides, corn bread â&#x20AC;&#x201D; for $6. 2221 South Cedar St. 501-663-9901.

ASIAN

BENIHANA JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE Enjoy the cooking show, make sure you get a little filet with your meal, and do plenty of dunking in that fabulous ginger sauce. 2 Riverfront Place. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-3748081. BLD Sun.-Sat. CHI DIMSUM & BISTRO A huge menu spans

LITTLE ROCKâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S MOST AWARD-WINNING RESTAURANT 1619 REBSAMEN RD. ÂŹsÂŹTHEFADEDROSE COM

Hair Affair Hair Affair Hair Affair

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March 22nd

doors open @ 6:30pm

benefitting Lucieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Place and LACorp Tickets: $15 at the door $10 in advance Purchase Tickets @ The Root Cafe & Luciesplace.org

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the Chinese provinces and offers a few twists on the usual local offerings. 6 Shackleford Drive. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-221-7737.

LD daily. 17200 Chenal Parkway. No alcohol, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-821-8000. LD Mon.-Sat., D Sun. FAR EAST ASIAN CUISINE Favorites such as orange beef or chicken and Hunan green beans are prepared with care. 11610 Pleasant Ridge Road. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-219-9399.

LD daily.

FORBIDDEN GARDEN Classic, American-ized Chinese food in a modern setting. Try the Basil Chicken. 14810 Cantrell Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$. 501-868-8149. LD daily.

FU LIN Quality in the made-to-order entrees is high, as is the quantity. 200 N. Bowman Road.

Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-225-8989. LD daily, BR Sun. IGIBON JAPANESE RESTAURANT Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a complex place, where the food is almost always good and the ambiance and service never fail to please. 11121 N. Rodney Parham Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$. 501-217-8888.

LD Mon.-Sat. KIYENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S SEAFOOD STEAK AND SUSHI Sushi, steak and other Japanese fare. 17200 Chenal Pkwy, Suite 100. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$.

501-821-7272. LD daily.

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE & SUSHI Kobe stands taller in its sushi offerings than at the grill. 11401 Financial Centre Parkway. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-225-5999. L Mon.-Sat. D daily.

NEW FUN REE Reliable staples, plenty of hot and spicy options. 418 W 7th St. No alcohol, All CC. $. 501-664-6657. LD Mon.-Sat. VAN LANG CUISINE Terrific Vietnamese cuisine, particularly the way the pork dishes and the assortment of rolls are presented. 3600 S. University Ave. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$.

501-570-7700. LD daily.

BARBECUE

CAPITOL SMOKEHOUSE AND GRILL Beef, pork and chicken, all smoked to melting tenderness and doused with a choice of sauces. 915 W. Capitol Ave. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-372-4227. L Mon.-Fri. CROSS EYED PIG BBQ COMPANY Traditional barbecue favorites smoked well such as pork ribs, beef brisket and smoked chicken. 1701 Rebsamen Park Road. Full bar, All CC. $-$$.

501-265-0000. L Mon.-Sat., D Tue.-Fri. 1701 Rebsamen Park Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$.

501-227-7427. LD daily.

FATBOYâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S KILLER BAR-B-Q Tender ribs and pork by a contest pitmaster. Skip the regular sauce and risk the hot variety, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s far better.

14611 Arch Street. No alcohol, All CC. $$.

501-888-4998. L Mon.-Wed. and Fri.; L Thu. HBâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BBQ Great slabs of meat with fiery barbecue sauce, but ribs are served on Tuesday only. 6010 Lancaster. No alcohol, No CC. $-$$. 501-565-1930. LD Mon.-Fri. SIMS BAR-B-QUE Great spare ribs, sandwiches, beef, half and whole chicken and an addictive vinegar-mustard-brown sugar sauce. 2415 Broadway. Beer, CC. $-$$. 501-372-6868. LD Mon.-Sat. 1307 John Barrow Road. Beer, All CC. $-$$. 501-224-2057. LD Mon.-Sat. 7601 Geyer Springs Road. Beer, All CC. $$. 501-5628844. LD Mon.-Sat. CONTINUED ON PAGE 36

www.arktimes.com

MARCH 21, 2013

35

CROSSWORD

DINING CAPSULES, CONT.

EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

ACROS S

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1 Tow job, maybe 5 Saturn or

Mercury

8 Best buds?

13 Stylishness 14 ___ canto 15 A Jackson 16 *Comfy place 18 Rick who sang 19 20 22 23 25 26

“Together Forever” PayPal money *Alternative to a Crock-P ot Clear Oahu-toMolokai dir.

Truly Prefix with thermal *Metaphor for a sharp mind Make lean Woman in a garden American Heart Mo. (appropriately) Pitcher Hideo ___

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*Gathering spot for the upwardly mobile?

Turn about Discernment of a sort Enumeration follower What George lacks? *Campaign from town to town Return address for many absentee ballots: Abbr.

Wall St. insider, maybe Like some stocks, for short Weak ___ *Where a cast may be found Skater ___ Anton Ohno Garment with buttons on the left

Welcoming symbol … or what each part of the answers to the six starred clues can do?

Compounds with nitrogen Where a cast may be found Jai ___ Sharp tastes Big do Filibusterers, e.g.: Abbr.

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PUZZLE BY JULES P. MARKEY

34 36 37 38 39 40

Gen. Scowcroft who advised Ford and Bush New mintage of 2002 Limerick scheme Oncology procedure Day of rest One of the Canary Islands

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Dangerous buildup in a mine Onetime Ebert partner Eight-time Oscar nominee who never won Advance again Hunters of the now- extinct moa

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Shippers’ plans: Abbr. ___ fu “An expensive way of playing marbles,” per G. K. Chesterton P.R. agents’ aids Massage target, maybe

For answers, call 1-900-285-5656, $1.49 a minute; or, with a credit card, 1-800-814-5554.

Annual subscriptions are available for the best of Sunday crosswords from the last 50 years: 1-888-7-ACROSS. AT&T users: Text NYTX to 386 to download puzzles, or visit nytimes.com/mobilexword for more information.

Online subscriptions: Today’s puzzle and more than 2,000 past puzzles, nytimes.com/crosswords ($39.95 a year).

Share tips: nytimes.com/wordplay.

Crosswords for young solvers: nytimes.com/learning/xwords.

THIS MODERN WORLD

36

EUROPEAN / ETHNIC

5

1 Directs 2 Draw 3 Detour- causing

event Some poor Olympic scores 54 30 5 Eastern wrap 55 32 6 Like Texas vis-à-vis New 58 York, politically 33 7 ___ cheese 60 8 Four-time Pro 35 Bowler Ahmad 9 “Beetle Bailey” dog ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE 10 Algebra problem A R M A N I P O S I N G directive S E A S O N E D A L L M E N 11 Test with letters S E E T HR U S E T HR O G E N 12 Refuse E S T A S K A N I O U S 15 Some frills S E E M E D F L A G S I N G L E T HR E A D 17 Put off till later A S T A S I E A L I C I A 21 Universal donor’s D O R M D A R N T E HR A N classification D M I T R I I R E E L S E 24 Case who N E P HR O L O G I S T co- founded AOL A W L S T U G S O N N S E C E V A M A N N A 28 Caught fish in a pot, say H & R B L O C K E HR L I C H D E B T O R S E A L A B L E 29 Broadcast workers’ union S K E E T S M E S S E D 31 Pass 27

1

ALI BABA A Middle Eastern restaurant and grocery. 3400 S University Ave. No alcohol, All CC. 501-570-0577. LD Mon.-Sat. KHALIL’S PUB Widely varied menu with European, Mexican and American influences. Go for the Bierocks, rolls filled with onions and beef. 110 S. Shackleford Road. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-224-0224. LD daily. BR Sun. THE PANTRY The menu stays relatively true to the owner’s roots, but there’s plenty of choices to suit all tastes. 11401 Rodney Parham Road.

Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-353-1875. LD Mon.-Fri., D Sat. STAR OF INDIA The best Indian restaurant in the region, with a unique buffet at lunch and some fabulous dishes at night. 301 N. Shackleford.

Beer, Wine, All CC. $$. 501-227-9900. LD daily.

TASTE OF ASIA Delicious Indian food in a pleasant atmosphere. 2629 Lakewood Village Dr. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-812-4665. LD daily.

ITALIAN

DAMGOODE PIES A somewhat different Italian/pizza place, largely because of a spicy garlic white sauce that’s offered as an alternative to the traditional red sauce. 2701 Kavanaugh Blvd. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$-$$$.

501-664-2239. LD daily. 6706 Cantrell Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$-$$$.

501-664-2239. LD daily. 10720 Rodney Parham Road. Beer, Wine, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-664-2239. LD daily. 37 East Center St. Fayetteville. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 479-444-7437. LD daily.

GUSANO’S They make the tomatoey Chicago-style deep-dish pizza the way it’s done in the Windy City. 313 President Clinton Ave. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-374-1441. LD daily. 2915 Dave Ward Drive. Conway. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-329-1100. LD daily.

NYPD PIZZA Plenty of tasty choices. Even the personal pizzas come in impressive combinations, and baked ziti, salads are more also are available. 6015 Chenonceau Blvd., Suite 1. Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$. 501-8683911. LD Mon.-Sat., D Sun. VESUVIO Arguably Little Rock’s best Italian restaurant is in one of the most unlikely places – tucked inside the Best Western Governor’s Inn within a nondescript section of west Little Rock. 1501 Merrill Drive. Full bar, All CC. $$$. 501-225-0500. D daily.

LATINO

CASA MANANA Great guacamole and garlic beans, superlative chips and salsa and a broad selection of fresh seafood. 6820 Cantrell Road.

Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-280-9888. LD daily 18321 Cantrell Road. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-868-8822. LD daily 400 President Clinton Ave. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. BL Mon.-Sat. CASA MEXICANA Familiar Tex-Mex style items all shine, in ample portions, and the steak-centered dishes are uniformly excellent. 6929 JFK Blvd. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-835-7876. LD daily.

EL PORTON Good Mex for the price and a wide-ranging menu of dinner plates, some tasty cheese dip, and great service as well. 12111 W. Markham St. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-223-8588. LD daily. 5201 Warden Road. NLR. Full bar, All CC. $$. 501-753-4630. LD daily.

ELIELLA You’ll find perhaps the widest variety of street style tacos in Central Arkansas here. The menu is in Spanish, but the waitstaff is accomodating to gringos. 7700 Baseline Road. Beer, All CC. $. 501-539-5355.

L Mon.-Sat. LA HACIENDA Great taco salad, nachos, and maybe the best fajitas around. 3024 Cantrell Road. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-661-0600. LD daily. 200 Highway 65 N. Conway. All CC. $$. 501-327-6077. LD daily.

LA VAQUERA One of the few trucks where you can order a combination plate that comes with rice, beans and lettuce. 4731 Baseline Road. No alcohol, No CC. $. 501-565-3108. LD Mon.-Sat. LAS DELICIAS Levy-area mercado with a taqueria. 3401 Pike Ave. NLR. Beer, All CC. $. 501-812-4876.

LAS PALMAS Mexican chain with a massive menu of choices. 10402 Stagecoach Road. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-455-8500. LD daily.

MARISCOS EL JAROCHO Try the Camarones a la Diabla or the Cocktail de Campechana. 7319 Baseline Road. Beer, All CC. $-$$. 501-565-3535.

Serving BLD Wed.-Mon. MEXICO CHIQUITO Hearty platters of boldly spiced, inexpensive food.

13924 Cantrell Road. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-217-0700. LD daily.

MOE’S SOUTHWEST GRILL A “build-your-own-burrito” place, with several tacos and nachos to choose from as well. 12312 Chenal Pkwy.

Beer, All CC. $-$$. 501-223-3378. LD daily.

SAN JOSE GROCERY STORE AND BAKERY The fresh flour tortillas, overstuffed burritos, sopes, chili poblano are the real things. 7411 Geyer Springs Road. Beer, CC. $-$$. 501-565-4246. BLD daily.

SUPERMERCADO SIN FRONTERAS Shiny, large Mexican grocery with a bakery and restaurant attached. 4918 Baseline Road. Beer, All CC. $$.

501-562-4206. BLD daily.

TAQUERIA LOURDES This Chevy Step Van serves tacos, tortas, quesadillas and nachos. Colonel Glenn and 36th Street. No alcohol, No CC. $. 501-612-2120. LD Mon.-Sat. CONTINUED ON PAGE 38

1

2

TOMS for spring shoes Spring!

MARCH 21, 2013

Get ready for

3

BY JANIE GINOCCHIO

T 4

he recent schizophrenic weather patterns have shown us a small glimpse of the warm weather to come, so it’s time to get those feet ready to make their debut after a long winter of boots and sensible shoes. Of course, every masterpiece needs a great frame, and local stores have the hottest spring shoes to show off those pampered tootsies.

When it comes to wedges, the finds at BOX TURTLE can’t be beat, like the Splendid cork sole mule with basket weave print 1 or the color blocked leather wedge sandal

from J Shoes 2. If you want to make more of a transition, check out the Tom’s oxford wedge bootie 3. Box Turtle has other colors available in the Splendid and Tom’s lines, and you’ll find Tom’s ballet flats 50 percent off in the sale room.

The folks over at SHOE CONNECTION were nice enough to give us the lowdown about what’s on trend for spring: Look for bling, interesting details and plenty of hardware on platform wedges; coral and mint green are best bets for colors; and nude patent leather is the go-to for neutrals 4.

2616 Kavanaugh Blvd. • Little Rock 501.661.1167 www.shopboxturtle.com

6th AnnuAl

sAturdAy, APril 6

show stArts At 7:30Pm ViP mixer beGins At 6:30Pm Benefiting the timmons Arts foundAtion

metroPlex eVent Center 10800 Colonel Glenn roAd For more info, contact info@timmonsarts.org or 501-221-1792 GenerAl Admission $35 • ViP $55

hosted by

BUILD THE PERFECT SHOE WARDROBE

If you’re anything like me, you have 10 pairs of black shoes in a variety of styles and maybe a brown or nude pair of pumps stuck in the back of the closet somewhere. If you’re looking for the must-haves in your shoe collection, check out these tips from Shoe Connection: DRESS/WORK SHOES: Two pairs of pumps and one pair of flats. Color must-haves are black, nude and a bold color, like red.

CASUAL SHOES: A pair of flip-flops and a good versatile sandal that’s comfortable and has enough details that allows it to go from day to night wear.

SPORT SHOES: Buy a pair of slip-ons with support to use as a “shopper shoe” — for these types of shoes, it’s key that they’re lightweight and fit well. For more strenuous activities like working out or walking outdoors, grab a sneaker that has adequate support and contours to fit the shape of your foot. Bright colors are always in style to bring energy to your workout.

Actor Lamman Rucker Designer Korto Momolu Heather Brown of Alice 107.7

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Tickets can be purchased at Jeante’ One of One, Vogue Visage, Box Turtle, Butler Furniture Depot, Uncle T’s, and online at www.dcfplr2013.eventbrite.com ADVERTISING SUPPLEMENT TO ARKANSAS TIMES

MARCH 21, 2013

37

DINING CAPSULES, CONT.

AROUND ARKANSAS

CONWAY

EL ACAPULCO Tex-Mex served in hefty portions in a colorful atmosphere. 201 Highway 65 N. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $$. 501-3278445. LD Mon.-Sun. EL HUASTECO Reasonably priced Mexican fare. 720 S. Salem Road. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-764-1665. LD Mon.-Sun. EL PARIAN Traditional Mexican and Tex-Mex favorites are offered by this Arkansas restaurant chain. 2585 Donaghey. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-513-1313. LD Mon.-Sun. FABY’S RESTAURANT Nuevo Mexican and Continental cuisine meet and shake hands at Faby’s. The hand-patted, housemade tortillas are worth the visit alone. 2915 Dave Ward.

Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-3295151. LD Mon.-Sun. LOS AMIGOS Authentic Mexican food where everything is as fresh and tasty as it is filling. At lunch, go for the $4.99 all-you-can-eat special.

2850 Prince St. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-329-7919. LD daily.

MARKETPLACE GRILL Big servings of steak, seafood, chicken, pasta, pizza and other rich comfort-style foods. 600 Skyline Dr. Conway.

No alcohol, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-336-0011. LD Daily.

MIKE’S PLACE Delicious New Orleans-inspired steaks and seafood, plus wood-fired pizzas, served in a soaring, beautifully restored building in downtown Conway. 808 Front St. Conway. Full bar, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-269-6493.

LD daily.

PATTICAKES BAKERY 2106 Robinson Ave. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. (501) 205-1969b.

SLIM CHICKEN’S Chicken in all shapes and

sizes with sauces. 550 Salem Road. Conway.

All CC. $$-$$$. 501-450-7546. LD Mon.-Sun. SOMETHING BREWING CAFE Coffee, pastries, sandwiches and such dot the menu of this longtime Conway favorite. 1156 Front St. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-3275517. BLD Mon.-Sun.

FAYETTEVILLE

A TASTE OF THAI Terrific Thai food, from the appetizers to the entrees to the desserts. Only the brave should venture into the “rated 5” hot sauce realm. 31 E. Center St. Fayetteville. All CC. $$-$$$. 479-251-1800. LD Mon.-Sat. ARSAGA’S FAYETTEVILLE COFFEE ROASTERS A locally owned and operated chain of Fayetteville-area coffeeshops featuring hot coffee and chai, sweet pastries, sandwiches and live performances by area musicians. 1852 N. Crossover Road. Fayetteville. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. (479) 527-0690. BLD daily.

HERMAN’S RIBHOUSE Filets, not ribs, are the big seller at this classic, friendly, dumpy spot.

The barbecue chicken is another winner. 2901 N. College Ave. Fayetteville. 479-442-9671.

MARKETPLACE GRILL Appetizers set on fire, Italian chips, funky low-fat dressings, prime rib and pasta in big ceramic bowls, the fare is a combination of old standbys and new-age twists. Also at 3000 Pinnacle Hills in Rogers.

4201 N. Shiloh. Fayetteville. No alcohol.

479-750-5200. LD 600 Skyline Dr. Conway. No alcohol, All CC. $$-$$$. 501-336-0011. LD Daily.

SLIM CHICKEN’S Chicken in all shapes and sizes with sauces. Also locations in Rogers, 3600 W. Walnut Street; and Conway, 550 Salem Road. 2120 N. College Ave. Fayetteville. All CC. $$-$$$. 479- 443-7546. LD 550 Salem Road. Conway. All CC. $$-$$$. 501-450-7546.

LD Mon.-Sun.

HOT SPRINGS

ARLINGTON HOTEL Massive seafood buffet on Friday nights, breakfast buffet daily, served in the splendor of a grand old hotel. 239 Central Ave. Hot Springs. 501-623-7771. BLD. BAMBINO’S This little corner eatery, opened in March 2011 by Thelma Anaya, is an intimate breakfast and lunch place, featuring Italian/American entrees. 432 Ouachita Ave. Hot Springs. No alcohol, All CC. $$. 501-6270541.

THE BLEU MONKEY GRILL High end, artfully prepared pastas, salads, sandwiches and appetizers are one of the hallmarks of this classy/casual newcomer to the Hot Springs dining scene. Stay for the interesting dessert menu. 4263 Central Ave. Hot Springs. Full bar, All CC. 501-520-4800. LD daily.

CAJUN BOILERS Expertly prepared boiled shrimp, crawfish and such, served in a fun atmosphere. 2806 Albert Pike. Hot Springs.

Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$. 501-767-5695. D Tue.-Sat. HOT SPRINGS BRAU HAUS All the usual schnitzels are available, an inviting bar awaits as you enter, and the brick-walled place has a lot of history and coziness. 801 Central Ave. Hot Springs. 501-624-7866. LD. JASON’S BURGERS AND MORE Locals love it for filets, fried shrimp, ribs, catfish, burgers and the like at good prices. 148 Amity Road.

Hot Springs. 501-525-0919. LD. OHIO CLUB Great atmosphere and a standout burger highlight what claims to be the state’s oldest bar. 336 Central Ave. Hot Springs. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-627-0702. LD daily.

ROD’S PIZZA CELLAR Terrific handmade pizzas highlighted by the Godfather, a whopper. Lunch specials are a steal, espe-

cially the buffet. 3350 Central Ave. Hot Springs. Beer, Wine, All CC. $-$$. 501-3212313. LD Tue.-Sun. TACO MAMA Fresh, creative, homemade Mexican treats created with a Southwest flair.

The menu is not huge, but there’s not a dud in the bunch. Truly a treasure for Hot Springs.

1209 Malvern Ave. Hot Springs. Full bar, All CC. $-$$. 501-624-6262. LD Mon.-Sat.

JACKSONVILLE

THE ORIGINAL FRIED PIE SHOP Fried pies for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 1321 T.P. White Drive. Jacksonville. $-$$. 501-985-0508.

MABELVALE

THREE SAM’S This family-owned barbecue spot by the tracks in “downtown Mabelvale” packs’em in at lunch with huge portions of well-smoked barbecue, 7-ounce hand-patted burgers, homemade sides and wide array of homemade desserts. 10508 Mann Road.

Mabelvale. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-4070345. L Mon.-Fri., D Thu.-Fri. (closes at 6:30 p.m.).

MAUMELLE

SMOKE SHACK BAR-B-Q Another relative of the Shack, a legendary and long-gone Little Rock barbecue place. The beef and pork sandwiches are the best bet. 20608 Highway 365 N. Maumelle. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-8034935. LD Mon.-Sat. WOKA WOKA CUSTOM STIR FRY Chooseyour-own meat, noodles, vegetables and toppings at this Mongolian grill, where you’ll find all sorts of non-Asian options (barbecue sauce, penne pasta to name a few). 1800 Club Manor Drive. Maumelle. No alcohol, All CC. $-$$. 501-803-9251. LD daily.

ARKANSAS TIMES CLASSIFIEDS Programmer Analyst

PROTECH SOLUTIONS INC., Nationwide Innovative IT solutions Provider has several immediate opportunities in Little Rock AR. Responsibilities include: Development and testing of Software Applications, which includes analyzing and converting program specifications and procedures to detailed logical flow diagrams, coding, testing and documenting applications using one or more of the following: JAVA, JSP, J2EE, Servlets, EJB, JDBC, Struts, Spring, XML, Javascript, Perl, AJAX, Web Services, HTML, UML, WebSphere, WSAD, JUNIT,Oracle, DB2, J2EE, Design Patterns, MQ Series, Oracle Developer Suite, ASP, VB, VB.NET, SQL Server, Business Intelligence Reports, Web Services, Rational Suite and FileNet Applications.

Bachelor degree and two years of experience required. We also accept the degree equivalent in education and experience. Excellent Compensation offered.

Send resumes to HR, Protech Solutions Inc. 303 W. Capitol Ste #330 Little Rock AR 72201 or HRSupport@ProtechSolutions.com

Network Administrator

PROTECH SOLUTIONS INC., Nationwide Innovative IT solutions Provider has several immediate opportunities in Little Rock AR. Responsibilities include: Install, configure, test and maintain computer servers, peripherals, software and hardware upgrades, LAN, WAN and VPN networks; maintain system performance by system monitoring and analysis, and performance tuning; troubleshooting system hardware, software, networks and operating and system management systems; designing and running system load/ stress testing; escalating application problems to vendor; Establish and maintain user accounts, profiles, file sharing, access privileges and security; perform daily server tape backups; research, analyze, monitor, troubleshoot and resolve server or data network problems; Analyze and troubleshoot the network logs and track the nature and resolution of problems; monitor usage to ensure security of data and access privileges; provide support and administration for Windows 2008R2/Windows 2008/Windows 2003 server infrastructure/Exchange 2012/EMC application Xtender document management system/EMC CX-380 SAN storage infrastructure/VM ware infrastructure; perform restoration of services including power cycles, critical time bound restores from backups and recovery after server crash; facilitate disaster recovery exercises and VLS management; Network management (switching/routing/ firewalls). Bachelor degree and two years of experience required. We also accept the degree equivalent in education and experience.

Excellent Compensation offered.

Send resumes to HR, Protech Solutions Inc. 303 W. Capitol Ste #330 Little Rock AR 72201 or HRSupport@ProtechSolutions.com 38

MARCH 21, 2013

ARKANSAS TIMES

Employment

vase and perpetual care located at Pinecrest Memorial Park in Alexander, AR, asking $3,000 firm. Call Theresa at 812-923-1939.

AVIATION GENERAL Manager, machining, sheet metal, electronics, assembly, supervisory experience, growing small manufacturer, excellent growth potential, fax resume 931-537-6495.

Miscellaneous

Paid in Advanced! MAKE up to $1000 A WEEK mailing brochures from home!

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Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operators Now! 800-405-7619 EXT 2450 www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN) LIVE LIKE a popstar. Now hiring 10 spontaneous individuals. Travel full time.

Must be 18+. Transportation and hotel provided. Call Loraine 877-777-2091 (AAN CAN)

Careers DISCOVER THE “Success and Moneymaking Secrets” THEY don’t want you to know about. To get your FREE “Money Making Secrets” CD, please call 800-470-7545 (AAN CAN)

For Sale For Sale double bronze yawn crypt with

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Automotive CASH FOR CARS: Any Car/Truck. Running or Not! Top Dollar Paid. We Come To You! Call For Instant Offer: 888-420-3808 www. cash4car.com (AAN CAN)

Education ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE from Home. *Medical, *Business, *Criminal Justice, *Hospitality. Job placement assistance.

Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified. SCHEV authorized. Call 800-4819472 www.CenturaOnline.com (AAN CAN) AIRLINE CAREERS- Become an Aviation Maintenance Tech. FAA approved training.

Financial aid if qualified-Housing available.

Job placement assistance. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance 877-492-3059 (AAN CAN)

Adoption PREGANANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with a caring agency specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

Local Printing Business is looking for a junior, senior, or graduate on Graphic Design to help complete our team. Applicant must have a good understanding of Adobe Creative Suite with emphases in Illustrator, Photoshop & In design, Production Management experience a plus.

We are looking for motivated, organized and some technical individuals. Please send your résumé and sample portfolio.

Miguel@imprentaprinting.net

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Heart Connections

Saturday, April 6, 2013 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Sunday, April 7, 2013 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.

The Peabody Hotel Three Statehouse Plaza, LR, AR, 72201 Admission: $6 per day or $10 for the weekend (Bring 1 can of fresh puppy/kitten food and receive $1 off admission.)

For More Information: 501.955.2063 or sharpump@aol.com www.BodyMindSoulExpos.com

Crystal…Crank…Glass…Ice…Meth…Speed…Cocaine…Crack

Faith Dental Clinic Beautiful SmileS make Happy people!

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We accept: ar-KiDS, Medicaid and all types of insurance.

Payment Plans • Monday-Saturday

Lilliam Prado, DDS

Methamphetamine Or Cocaine Users Are you seeking treatment for a problem with methamphetamine or cocaine use? You may be eligible to participate in a UAMS research study of a medication to help prevent relapse. Participation includes up to 12 weeks of outpatient treatment and possibly a two-week stay at the Recovery Centers of Arkansas.

Participation is at no cost to you and you will be compensated for your time during the study.

For more information, call (501) 526-7969.

All calls are confidential!

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• (501) 565-3009

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MARCH 21, 2013

39

LAKE MAUMELLE The best‐tasting water in America doesn’t happen by accident.

C

G

and to avoid operating sprinkler systems o sailing, or do a little fishing.

ENTRAL ARKANSAS WATER AND THE WATERSHED MANAGEMENT STAFF WANT YOU TO GET OUT AND ENJOY ONE OF CENTRAL ARKANSAS’S MOST TREASURED RESOURCES…THE LAKE MAUMELLE WATERSHED!

The Lake Maumelle Watershed includes all the land and streams that drain into Lake Maumelle, which provides cities and communities in Central Arkansas with some of the purest drinking water in America.

Bring a backpack and take a day hike along the Ouachita National Recreation Trail or stretch your legs for a short jaunt on the Farkleberry Trail.

Pack a picnic, take in the view and enjoy the wildlife, but remember to enjoy the outdoors responsibly.

Current water quality conditions in Lake Maumelle are very good, but we need your help to protect and maintain these pristine conditions.

You can help us keep Lake Maumelle clean for generations to come by boating responsibly, picking up trash, and following our lake rules and regulations. Be sure to be kind to the environment when hiking and picnicking in the watershed.

CLEAN WATER ADDS TO QUALITY OF LIFE.

For more information on Lake Maumelle and the Watershed Management program, check us out online at www.carkw. com under the Watershed Management tag.

THIS IS YOUR DRINKING WATER. GET OUT AND ENJOY IT.