Arkansas Faith & Family magazine (Fall 2015)

Faith & Family ARKANSAS

Fall 2015

Let the Word do the work

Passing on a Christian worldview FORGIVENESS: Walking through the “valley of the shadow of death”

A JOURNEY OF LOVE: ARKANSAS PASTOR NICK FLOYD NAVIGATES ADOPTION

// FALL 2015 ARKANSAS FAITH &of FAMILY 1 A publication the Arkansas Baptist News

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ARKANSAS FAITH & FAMILY

READERSHIP SURVEY Arkansas Faith & Family wants to hear from you. As we strive to be relevant in meeting the needs of families throughout Arkansas, we want your feedback.

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FALL 2015 18

FEATURES

Forgiveness: Walking through the “valley of the shadow of death” How do you even begin to discover forgiveness when an unthinkable tragedy invades your life? Learn from one who lived through the horror of losing her two grandsons in a senseless massacre and learned to forgive those who committed the act.

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COVER STORY: A journey of love

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Let the Word do the work: Praying God’s Word for our children

Walk with an Arkansas pastor and his wife as they navigate an international adoption journey that began five years ago and continued this past May when they brought a precious daughter home from Malawi.

Looking for a guidebook on how to rear your children? Look no further than God’s holy Word, where you will find Scripture to pray over your children daily.

MORE ...

5 Trending 6 Post from the editor 7 A merry heart 8 Lessons our family learned about the nations in public school 10 5 simple ways to teach your children theology 12 Family truths from one who has “been there” 16 Passing on a Christian worldview 23 Is your child ready?

26 Making a difference in an overly sexualized world

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THE REACH OF CHRISTIAN MEDIA

Christian media have devoted followers among churchgoers and evangelicals, but many Americans never connect to Christian media.

Those are among the findings of a new study on the use of Christian media from Nashville-based LifeWay Research.

“Christian media delivers teaching, music and entertainment to a predominantly Christian constituency,” noted Ed Stetzer, executive director of LifeWay Research. “Not surprisingly, those who embrace Christian teaching will value and consume these the most.”

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Too many people meander through life without purpose or direction.

It is no wonder that, according to recent news reports, the U.S. experiences a suicide every 13 minutes. In fact, the suicide rate in our country is the highest it has been in 25 years.

When a person created in God’s image is influenced by the mainstream to believe that all there is to life is sex, material pleasure and the pursuit of success and power, there’s bound to be a fall – and suicide can sometimes be the result.

God had a purpose in creating mankind. So why did He make us?

It’s all about purpose

First, it’s not like God needed us. He created us for His glory and for His pleasure, according to the Bible: To paraphrase Acts 17:24-25, “The God who made the world and everything in it … is not served by human hands, as if he needed anything.”

And Isaiah 43:7 (KJV) says this: “Even every one that is called by my name: for I have created him for my glory, I have formed him; yea, I have made him.”

God created us because “God is love” (1 John 4:8). In fact, God loved us before He created us: “I have loved you with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3, ESV).

Finally, God created mankind because He wanted us to be a part of His eternal plan – which culminated through His gift of His Son, Jesus, to make atonement for our sins after man had broken fellowship with Him. “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord” (1 Corinthians 1:9, ESV).

“But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, ESV).

Arkansas Faith & Family (AF&F) is published to help you navigate the complicated world of the 21st century by providing guidance and direction for living found only in God’s eternal Word.

As you read the articles within the pages of AF&F, think of ways you can use it in your walk and witness. Refer to the articles with your friends who need encouragement as you seek to glorify the Lord with your life.

Tim Yarbrough Editor/Executive Director

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Faith & Family magazine

Publisher

Arkansas Baptist Newsmagazine, Inc.

Editor/Executive Director Tim Yarbrough

Special Projects Coordinator Margaret Dempsey-Colson

Graphic Designer/ Senior Assistant Editor Jessica Vanderpool

Special Projects Advertising Heather Baker

Assistant Editor Caleb Yarbrough

Administrative Assistant Jeanie Weber

Business Manager Becky Hardwick

On the cover:

Arkansas Baptist pastor Nick Floyd and his family share their journey of adopting their daughter from Malawi.

Read the full article on page 20.

Photo credit: Kelsey Crawford

www.arkansasbaptist.org Arkansas Baptist News 10 Remington Drive Little Rock, AR 72204 Phone: 501-376-4791 Toll-free: 800-838-2272 email: abn@arkansasbaptist.org

We all fall down.

I

fell.

That’s right. One moment, I was jogging along happily, feeling strong and sure with each step. The next moment, as if in slow motion, I could feel my body awkwardly crashing to the sidewalk that was supposed to be my friend and partner along my morning run.

Somehow, an unexpectedly uneven crack in the sidewalk had caught the sole of my shoe, and it sent me d-o-w-n, d-o-w-n, d-o-w-n. Is this what it means to “hit the ground running”?

After a second or two of stunned “What-justhappened?” and “I-wonder-if-anyone-saw-me” thoughts, I slowly stood up. My knees, elbows and the palms of my hands shrieked in defiance. All I could do was walk, step-by-painful-step, back home, where my husband tended to my skinned knees, elbows and hands – and bruised ego – and assured me that, Yes, I would get out and run again and that, the next time, I would be prepared for that particular tricky patch of sidewalk.

Have you ever felt that you have fallen as a parent? Perhaps you were walking in meadows of green, with nothing threatening the happyfamily scenario, when, out of nowhere, comes the unexpected.

By Margaret Dempsey-Colson

he chooses to put his phone on silent – just to send you a wordless message.

Hmmm, it seems like I have personal “been there, done that” experience in each of those untenable actions.

Take heart! You’re not the first parent who has fallen! And, you won’t be the last. Those times will come for every parent, leaving parents questioning, “What just happened?” and, “I wonder if anyone saw me.”

What happened – when you fall as a parent – was a moment in a terminal condition called “being human.” It’s human to trip up and fall – even as a parent. I wonder if Jesus’ parents ever felt that they had fallen as parents. I believe that they most certainly experienced their “human” moments.

And, Yes, Someone saw you. That Someone is God. He is not surprised! He created us, and He knows the “uneven cracks in the sidewalks” of our lives better than anyone else.

And, He offers the answer to the “What next?” question forming in our hearts and minds. God is there, with a helping hand, to help us back up on our feet and to tend to our wounds.

•

Maybe your toddler gets stuck in a restaurant’s high chair, screaming for everyone within earshot to hear.

Sometimes He is there through a trusted friend or family member.

Sometimes He is there with a promise in His holy Word. Sometimes He is there in our quiet moments we share with Him.

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Or, you watch your preschooler step onto an elevator by himself as you’re engaged in conversation – and the doors close, with your young child going on an upward adventure without you.

Parenting is ... sometimes joyful. Parenting is ... sometimes painful.

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“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified, … for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6, NIV).

Or, you and your husband leave one child behind at the ballpark, with other parents frantically calling to remind you.

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Or, you borrow a new blouse out of your teen daughter’s closet, sporting it proudly around town, even spilling a little coffee on it, until you realize that she was saving it for school picture day, which just happens to be the next day.

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Or, you find yourself calling your newly minted college student daily, wanting to make sure he awakens for his morning class, until

But, remember, even when you fall, you are never alone!

Despite her awkward tendencies, Margaret Dempsey-Colson still hits the ground running on most mornings, often with her children and husband cheering her on.

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Lessons our family learned about the nations in public school

By Ann Lovell

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y 11-year-old daughter, Alli, looked anxious. It was sixth grade summer orientation – Alli’s first year of middle school and her first time in an American public school.

During the years our family lived in Asia as Christian workers, she’d spent kindergarten through second grade at Seoul Foreign School in Seoul, South Korea, and third through fifth grades at Grace International School in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

“Mom, will there be any students at this school who look like me?” she asked.

Alli’s anxiety wasn’t focused so much on being thrust into an American public school. It was more about being “different.” Alli is Filipina. We adopted her when we were living in Manila in the early 2000s. Her brown skin was never an issue in Southeast Asia; the three “whiteys” in our family – my husband, our older daughter and I – were the ones who stood out there.

But this was a different place. Alli already thought all of America was one long episode of “iCarly.” As we approached the doors of the middle school that hot August day in 2012, I got just a glimpse into

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what she was thinking.

“I think so,” I replied confidently. “We’ll ask.”

Turns out, we needn’t have worried.

The student body at Alli’s middle school represents 46 countries – including Belgium, Bermuda, Brazil, China, Honduras, Israel, Japan, Kazakhstan, Lebanon, Singapore, South Korea and North Korea, among others. Apparently, the nations live right around us, supporting a 2012 report from the Center for Immigration Studies that one in four public school students speaks a language other than English at home.

As a result, during Alli’s three years in middle school and as she’s now moved into public high school, our family has been applying here in America six lessons we learned while living in Asia:

1.

We are global citizens. The Apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 3:20, “Our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ” (ESV). As citizens of heaven, we are all “wanderers” or “sojourners” with a responsibility to love God and those He created. As global citizens, loving God and

2.

3.

4.

5.

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loving others translates to a big-picture understanding of how our day-to-day actions affect the nations living among us.

Being paralyzed by “fear” is unhealthy … and unbiblical. Paul wrote in 2 Timothy 1:7, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (NKJV). Granted, public schools can be a scary place.

However, the best way to approach the “scary” is not to run and hide, but to embrace the challenge and enjoy the adventure. When we face our fears with the power of the Holy Spirit – and teach our children to do the same – we all gain strength for the next big challenge.

We look for other Christians and draw strength from them. Sometimes it is easy as a public school student or the parent of a public school student to think, like Elijah, “I alone am left” (1 Kings 19:10, HCSB). More often, though, our “godless” communities are also home to a number of Christians – like the 7,000 in Israel – who are also looking for support and strength (1 Kings 19:18).

We listen and learn from others but aren’t afraid to offer an alternate perspective. In sixth grade, Alli’s English class was assigned a book about racism in the United States. In the story, set in the segregation era, a black family from Detroit visits a Southern state and is forced to ride in the back of the bus. Alli, who had no concept of the racial tension that has defined the United States, offered innocently during a class discussion, “We rode in the back of the bus in Korea.

We liked it. It was our favorite seat on the bus.” The ensuing conversation gave Alli insight into a significant American cultural issue, and it gave Alli’s classmates the perspective of someone new to our country’s racial discussion.

“Tolerance” does not necessarily mean “compromise.”

As citizens of heaven, our family can be tolerant of – and even friendly toward – the Muslim mother in a burqa or the Hindu man who avoids meat, realizing that some of our cultural practices may appear equally oppressive or unnecessary to

“God orchestrates opportunities for His children to interact and influence those who don’t know Him with the gospel.”

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6.

them. This doesn’t mean we compromise our beliefs, but we seek to understand the motivations and beliefs behind their practices and build gospel-focused relationships in the process.

We have an opportunity to treat expatriates in our country as kindly as the people of Asia treated us. Leviticus 19:34 says, “You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt” (ESV). So many people in the Philippines, South Korea and Thailand welcomed us into their hearts and lives. They loved our children and showed them a world without borders. They were patient and gracious with our blunders. As we left Asia, I prayed that I would be as kind to visitors living in America as they had been to us.

“Pursue hospitality,” the Bible says (Romans 12:13, HCSB). Even if you haven’t experienced the hospitality of another culture, practice it with those from other nations living among you, however that looks in your family.

Remember, God orchestrates opportunities for His children to interact and influence those who don’t know Him with the gospel. Just as God called us to live cross-culturally, He also brought us back to the United States. He can and will use our experiences – and yours – to influence the nations around us with the gospel.

Ann Lovell is an editor and writer with the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention. She and her husband, Joe, and their daughters, Lauren and Alli, currently live in Richmond, Va.

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theology

5 simple ways to teach your children

By Aaron Earls

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eaching your children math can feel daunting. But teaching your children theology can feel downright terrifying.

Some parents feel overwhelmed with a lack of time. They just don’t see how they can fit something else into their day. Others may not feel as if they have adequate theological training. They don’t feel comfortable going much beyond, “Jesus loves you.”

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You don’t need to feel like you’re trying out the latest parenting fad or complicated system. Instead, here are five simple ways to teach your children theology virtually every day.

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So how can you weave theological teaching into their daily lives, without necessarily setting them down for an in-depth family sermon (though there is nothing wrong with that)? How can you impart good theology into 10

the lives of your children, without possessing a theological degree?

Read the Bible

It seems obvious, and it is, but it is the foundation before anything else. Why not let God do much of the teaching for you?

He has given us His Word with the Holy Spirit working in the life of the believer to help

illuminate that Word. By reading the Bible to your children, you’ll allow God to speak through His Word, while demonstrating that Scripture is important to you and your faith.

Use it before anything else.

Will you come across passages you don’t understand? Absolutely. Will your children ask questions you don’t know the answer to? Sure.

Both of those are actually beneficial to your children and your own Christian walk. They can see that their mom and dad are growing, too.

They’ll know it’s okay to ask questions and wrestle with some of the hard things in their faith. Hopefully, it will inspire both you and

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Pray intentionally

Honestly, this is one I accidentally discovered with my children. In praying with them at night, I would try to always pray with the gospel in mind, with the ideas of creation, fall, redemption and restoration at the forefront of how I talked to God. Thanking Him for the goodness He made, how we messed it up, but how He opened the door for us to be redeemed through Jesus’ death on the cross and how, ultimately, God is going to restore things back to the way they should be.

One night, I heard one of my boys praying about how he got a scratch on his leg because this world was fallen, but that God still had good things here.

The leg could be healed, and God was still here.

Those were good things to be thankful for, even though the world is fallen. My son had picked up on that from my prayers.

2 4 your child to seek answers through your own personal studies and also using some other sources of good theology.

Read other books together

Some of the memories I cherish the most are the times of reading to my children before they went to sleep. Along with the Bible, we’ve read devotional books, classic fiction, Christian stories and several others. I don’t have to start a discussion time with them; they naturally ask questions.

Because of our reading the books together, both of my sons are practically experts on all things Narnia and Middle Earth. They often remember scenes from the novels better than I do.

They also caught the spiritual themes before I expected. As we read through “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,” they commented about how Aslan was sacrificing himself just like Jesus did.

I didn’t have to tell them that or develop a lesson for that. They naturally got it. And yours will too, if you make a habit of reading them good stories that reflect the great story.

TV, video games, everything – in light of a Christian worldview, through the perspective of Scripture, and talk with your children about what they saw or heard.

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It will help them see how their faith should be involved in every aspect of their lives.

Model it

This may be the most difficult, but it is absolutely the most important. Live out your faith in front of your children, even when they no longer think you are the greatest thing ever, even when they know you make mistakes.

“It’s our job as parents to teach our children theology.”

Be specific and intentional about what you are talking to God about with your children.

Use that prayer time to speak to God, but also cause your children to think theologically.

Talk about entertainment

This is one opportunity many parents fail to capitalize on. Most families watch some TV or movies, read books or consume some type of media for entertainment.

Sometimes, those entertainment choices may line up with your values. Oftentimes, entertainment, even children’s shows, lies in direct contrast to your perspective as a Christian parent.

What do you do then? Use both of those situations to create theological conversations.

It doesn’t have to seem deep and philosophical in order to be important and impacting.

Reinforcing that we aren’t a cosmic accident, which just purposelessly evolved, can create a lasting reassurance in the mind of your child.

Evaluate the entertainment – music, movies,

Your children may have thought you were a superhero when they were younger but, at some point, you can no longer wear a mask. They see you and how you live.

If you say you value Christ, His commands and His church, but you can’t be bothered with going to services on Sunday because the big game is on or the golf course is “calling your name,” then what you say is pointless.

It’s not a matter of being perfect; again, your children know better than anyone else you aren’t. It’s about being consistent and seeking to live for Christ and admitting when you mess up.

After all, that probably needs to be modeled more than anything else. Have the humility to acknowledge your own shortcomings, ask them for forgiveness and help them see they can always turn to God for forgiveness.

It’s our job as parents to teach our children theology. It can be intimidating, but it doesn’t require a seminary degree. You can help your children know and love Jesus more, and it doesn’t have to be time-consuming and difficult.

Aaron Earls (@ WardrobeDoor) is online editor of FactsAndTrends. net, where this article originally appeared.

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FAMILY TRUTHS from one who has been there

By Vickie Lee

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hen my husband and I learned we were expecting our first child, we were excited. For the next few months, we planned, read books and sought advice from experienced parents. When the first contractions hit shortly after 10 p.m. one night in mid-October, we were sure that we were ready for this parenting gig.

After a long labor process and an emergency cesarean section, our son was born healthy and screaming. My husband and I were filled with joy for the gift God had entrusted to us. However, all too soon the day arrived when we were dismissed from the hospital. The nurse came in, handed me my newborn son and, as she sent us on our way, my first thought was, “Excuse me. Where is the instruction book for raising this child?” After a few nights at home with our newborn colicky son, I wanted to call the hospital and check on the return policy.

When our second son arrived, we really were getting the hang of this parenting gig – or so we thought. How hard could it be to have another child in the family? We would just do what we did with the first child and everything would be great. Wrong! Each of our sons has a very different personality. While one form of discipline worked well for one boy, it did not necessarily work for the other since both were strong-willed and independent. Yes, I read James Dobson’s “The Strong-Willed Child” several times to no avail.

As a survivor of the childhood years, I want to share some important lessons my husband and I have learned. (continued on next page)

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“We are mere humans who have been given the honor of investing in our children’s lives for a few short years.” // // ARKANSAS FAITH & FAMILY FALL 2015 ARKANSAS FAITH & FAMILY FALL 2015

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“No amount of ‘how-to’ books or experienced motherly advice will replace the only Instruction Manual for raising a child – the Bible.”

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ENJOY your children.

You have them for a few short years, and then you must release them into the world. Laugh with them. Play with them. Hug them. Even if it has been a rough day, tell your children that you love them.

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ENCOURAGE your children.

Observe where your children’s interests lie and look for opportunities to help develop these interests. As your babies grow into adulthood, you may be surprised to see how God uses their interests to point them to future career choices.

When we left that hospital more than 30 years ago as firsttime parents, reality sank in. We had been entrusted with a child who relied solely on us for everything. Neither of us had burped an infant, bathed a wiggling baby or changed a diaper in our lives. No one told us of the discipline challenges and the terrible two’s temper tantrums. No one prepared us for sleepless nights with a colicky baby or pacing the intensive care unit praying our toddler through pneumonia. No one explained to me how a mother’s heart breaks for her child (at any age) when life is disappointing and dreams are crushed.

Were we perfect parents? No! We can say we somehow survived raising children. Looking back now, there are so many things I wish we could have done differently.

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ENABLE your children to be independent.

As parents, we want to keep our little ones small and dependent on us. However, as they mature, our children need to learn to make wise decisions. Teach your children about finances: paying bills, tithing, saving, etc. Give them the freedom to make decisions with the understanding that a bad choice can and will often result in unpleasant consequences.

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ENTRUST your children to the Lord.

From the day you learn that you are expecting your first child, I believe it is very important to commit him or her to the Lord. We are mere humans who have been given the honor of investing in our children’s lives for a few short years. Parenting is a huge undertaking, and without the Lord, we cannot do it. Entrusting your precious charges to the Father says that you trust Him to guide them and reveal His purpose to each one.

However, when I look at my adult sons with their families, I realize my husband and I did a pretty good job in raising godly men by following God’s instructions in His Word.

When I meet young couples who are preparing for the first child, I simply smile. When I visit bleary-eyed new parents at home with their newborn who has colic, I pray for them. When young mothers seek advice on dealing with their child who is experiencing a difficult time, I share my experience and lessons learned. However, no amount of “how-to” books or experienced motherly advice will replace the only Instruction Manual for raising a child – the Bible.

Claim the promise found in Proverbs 22:6 (NASB): “Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.”

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EDUCATE your children.

Educate your children not only in the academic world, but most importantly, in the spiritual world since Christian parents have the responsibility of training their children in the ways of the Lord. We need to model Christ-filled lives to our little ones and instill in them a love for God, the local church and others, just as Christ loved us. From their births, our sons have been in church, where they developed a strong Christian foundation. They grew up attending Sunday school, mission organizations, youth group and so much more. In grade school, our boys went on mission trips and helped with everything from Bible school to construction.

As teens, they traveled to Third-World countries to broaden their vision of missions. Also, when their ball teams would schedule practice or a game on Wednesday night or Sunday, our sons attended church instead. Although this decision was met with “crying and gnashing of teeth” for our sports enthusiasts, we survived. We wanted our children to understand that serving the Lord through the local church was an important part in our family life.

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EQUIP your children to handle difficult circumstances.

It does not matter how hard you try to protect your children; bad things will happen. Our job as parents is to help our children deal with them in a godly way. Sadly, both of our sons tragically lost friends in car accidents.

Through each crisis, we helped them to see the importance of sharing Christ with everyone, including their friends.

These tragic events also taught our sons that life is short and that they need to cherish each day given to them.

Vickie Lee is a blogger for ministers’ wives in Tennessee and Arkansas. She is a pastor’s wife (Ricky Lee, First Baptist Church, Sherwood) of 37 years, mother of two married sons and grandmother of two grandchildren.

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PASSING ON A CHRISTIAN

“Mommy, what does ‘transgender’ mean?”

She was stunned.

WORLDVIEW

“There are some people who feel like they are a boy on the outside and a girl on the inside,” was all she could think to say.

His follow-up question was even more disturbing.

“Do I have to be a girl someday?”

At this point, I hoped she would explain how we are made in the image of God and that many people struggle with accepting who they are.

Instead, she simply followed the cultural norm and said, “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

By Kim Reeder

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6, KJV)

A

s a pastor, I cannot count how many times I have heard this promise repeated by a church member whose teenage or adult child was living a wayward lifestyle. As a parent, I long to see my children make smart, godly decisions that will take them down a road of blessing, rather than a road of heartache.

However, as every parent knows, one day, sooner than we wish, our children leave the nest and our ability to help them choose the right way is diminished. Therefore, we must make the most of our time with our children while they are young. Never before has it been so difficult in America to raise a child with a Christian worldview. TV routinely makes fun of Christians while glorifying alcoholism, drugs, violence, promiscuous sex and the homosexual lifestyle. I recently watched as a popular sitcom attempted to usher in the transgender lifestyle as the new norm.

So how do we prepare our children for what is to come? How do we provide our children an environment where they can grow and experience life without giving in to the anti-Christian worldview?

Don’t rely solely on the church There is almost no greater blessing than being a member of a church that preaches the Bible and provides effective ministry to families.

Make no mistake. No matter how wonderful the church, it cannot replace a parent’s leadership in the home. The Bible never releases us from our personal responsibility to raise godly children. While it may seem tempting to let the church bear the weight of training our little ones, parents simply cannot be replaced.

Don’t let the culture dictate your values Not long ago, a professing Christian shared with me a conversation she had with her 9-year-old son.

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As Christians, we are not allowed the luxury of our culture telling us what to believe. Christianity is diametrically opposed to the secular worldview, and in some areas of life these two will always clash.

However, we must intentionally instill in our children a biblical view of reality, rather than swaying with the ungodly and foolish notions of an unredeemed culture.

Don’t be afraid to fail When my wife and I found out we were pregnant with our first child … well, who am I kidding? She was pregnant with our first child. I just scooped out the ice cream and pickles. I told a friend I was afraid I would be a bad parent. Although not a Christian, he gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever heard. He said, “Don’t worry about failing.

Just enjoy your child and have fun.” Little did I realize the value of that statement. Yes, I am far from being the perfect father. I often apologize to my 9- and 7-year-olds for my failures. I have found that children are very forgiving when you own up to your mistakes and treat them with respect. Children have fantastic memories. They will remember how we handle our failures, and we are going to fail. If we are paralyzed by the fear of failing, we will never be the influence our children need.

Intentionally make memories Life moves fast. Andy Savage, a minister at Highpoint Church in Memphis, Tenn., has often pointed out that we basically have 7,000 days to raise our children. In the beginning when those days are filled with sleepless nights and stinky diapers, it seems like they cannot pass by fast enough. Later, they go too fast. We cannot take enough pictures. We cannot share enough experiences together. There are so many demands on our time we often miss out on precious memories we can never replace. Sometimes the memories are as simple as sitting down at the dinner table … or as complex as a family vacation. Either way, memories made on purpose are memories that last.

Look for teachable moments The other day, our family was at a park, and my children were playing on the monkey bars and slide with other children. A little AfricanAmerican boy came up to me with my children in tow; as we talked, he said, “I wish I was white like you.” I realized at that moment I had been given a divine opportunity to steer him and my children toward a Christian worldview. I said, “You do not want to be white like me. God made you special just the way you are. He made you like He wanted you to be.” A big smile formed on his little face as a complete stranger affirmed that he was fearfully and wonderfully made. Teachable moments come when we least expect them. If we will be ready, God will help us teach our children more in 5 minutes than we could in 5 hours if they are not willing to listen.

Training up our children involves more than teaching them to read and write, mind their manners, make their beds, brush their teeth and eat healthy breakfasts. Even more important is instilling in them an understanding of how the Bible should guide and direct their lives. There is no greater legacy we can leave them.

Kim Reeder is pastor of Barton Chapel Baptist Church in Tyronza. He and his wife, Jennifer, have been married for 12 years, and they have two sons: Thomas, 9 and Joshua, 7.

”We must intentionally instill in our children a biblical view of reality.”

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FORGIVENESS WALKING THROUGH THE “VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH”

By Anna Hurst

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“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV n April 19, 1995, bitterness, rage and anger became a fierce reality in Kathy Sanders’ life.

On that day, Terry Nichols and Timothy McVeigh, also known as the Oklahoma City bombers, left the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in a heap of destruction, with 168 people dead, including Sanders’ two grandsons, Chase and Colton.

Forgiveness: a PROCESS In a fast-paced world where people want their wounds to heal as quickly as they were inflicted, Sanders learned that “forgiveness is not an event; it’s a process.”

“I didn’t just wake up one day and think, ‘You know what? This would be a good day to forgive Terry Nichols and Timothy McVeigh,’” she stated.

Growing up in a Christian home, Sanders was no stranger to the word “forgiveness.” However, the massacre of her precious grandchildren challenged her faith. The question, “How does a loving God let such a tragedy happen?” bombarded her mind, leaving minimal space for forgiveness in her heart.

“I often thought about Jesus’ command to forgive and how He was surely asking for too much,” Sanders said, reflecting on the months following the bombing.

“I would ultimately realize that while commanding me to forgive others, Christ wasn’t trying to bully me. He was trying to better me and bring me peace.”

After months of battling with depression and suicidal thoughts, she heard the words of John Walsh, host of “America’s Most Wanted”: “You will grieve, and you will grieve deeply, but you will survive!”

His words inspired her to choose life, take it step-by-step and begin the slow process toward healing. While she did not know how or what to say, her first step was simply praying for her enemies.

reflects on the lives of her KATHY grandsons who were killed in the SANDERS 1995 Oklahoma City Bombing.

Sanders’ slow realization of the true value of forgiveness would set her apart from the majority of the nation. The lessons she learned as a result of her willingness to forgive are universally applicable and relevant to all situations.

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“I don’t know what my prayer for Nichols and McVeigh did for them, but I know what it did for me; from there, it just seemed natural,” she explained.

“What would Jesus do? What does He expect of us? He loves us all. Are we to pick and choose? I found that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”

Sanders began to personally establish relationships with the perpetrators and their families – a decision that fostered negative

feedback from the general public.

In Psalm 23, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” Sanders found affirmation of her choice to forgive and pursue meaningful relationships with her enemies, rather than succumb to society’s beckoning for bitterness.

“How long you remain in that valley depends on what you feed your mind (because that) is what you’re going to become,” she said.

“If you spend your time dwelling on, ‘I wish he was dead; I hate his guts; I can’t stand him,’ then your life is going to be bitter and you’re going to be defeated. But if you can control those thoughts and put good thoughts in, you’ll move out of the ‘valley of the shadow of death’ and you’ll be able to move on with your life in a positive way.

There’s nothing any more healing than doing something for someone else that’s hurt; and that’s what I found when I was reaching out to Nichols’ family.”

The more she prayed for her enemies and reached out to them, the more she found herself feeling fulfilled. Nichols became a Christian soon after his incarceration, and the more Sanders communicated with him, the more she began to view him as a brother in Christ.

“Forgiveness is evident when you’re not dwelling on the event, when it’s not eating at you and you’re not struggling. Did I forgive Terry Nichols? Yes. Do I think he ought to be punished? Yes,” she said.

Seven years after the death of her husband Glenn Wilburn, Kathy married Tom Sanders and relocated to Little Rock, Ark. She began an art studio, Portraits of Love, where she paints pictures for families who have lost children. She also authored the book “Now You See Me: How I Forgave the Unforgivable.” For more information, visit kathysandersart.com.

“Forgiveness and punishment are two different things. I think sometimes people get those confused. If somebody has offended you and hurt you, you can forgive them without putting yourself in harm’s way again.”

Forgiveness: a CHOICE Because of her experience, Sanders now understands how to relate to those experiencing conflict or great loss.

She challenges others to be mindful with their words, realizing that no words will fix the situation. Sometimes the best response is simply, “I love you and I’m here for you,” she believes.

She acknowledged that one person cannot be responsible for another person’s decision to forgive. She watched her own children deal with the loss of Chase and Colton in very different ways and advises parents in similar situations to strive to set a good example.

“I think you sow this seed, and then it’s up to the person who receives the seed what they do with it,” she stated. “It’s a choice they have to make, and this sounds trivial, but it’s almost like losing weight. You can’t make somebody lose weight or help them lose weight; they’ve just got to decide that’s what they want to do. You can be there for them, but they’re the only ones that can do it.”

Sanders said, adding she believes unrelenting bitterness in her first husband’s heart attributed to his death.

Sanders’ forgiveness process has encompassed every day of her life for 20 years; and the results have enabled her to live with an unbridled sense of freedom and joy. She has been able to honor the past without living in it.

“I’ve had a lifetime of just imagining what the first day of kindergarten would’ve been like or their first little T-ball game. You do wonder what life would’ve been, but with that said, had they not been killed, we wouldn’t have Glenn and M.J., my two new grandchildren, and I can’t imagine life without them either. I mean, with great pain comes great sorrow, but we’ve been greatly blessed as well. I can say I have had a lot of tragedy in my life, but I’ve been very blessed. I still have a smile on my face and a song in my heart, and that is something I’m forever grateful for.”

Forgiveness: a HEALER While forgiving seems a monstrous task, the dangers of not forgiving are far more devastating.

“Harboring bitterness and hatred is like drinking poison and expecting the enemy to die – you’re ruining the quality of your life,”

Anna Hurst is a mass communications and marketing student at Ouachita Baptist University and was the summer intern for the Arkansas Baptist News.

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A journey of ...

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For the past five years, pastor Nick Floyd, teaching pastor at Cross Church in Fayetteville, and his wife, Meredith, have been on an adoption journey. On Jan. 26, 2015, the couple received a phone call from their adoption agency that they were closing the program of the country from which they had been attempting to adopt. Unsure of their next steps, Meredith simply said, “I just want God to bring a baby to our doorstep.”

On the same day the fateful phone call from the adoption agency was received, little Mwayi Siyambili was born in a tiny village in Malawi in southern Africa. The first several weeks of the infant’s life were heartbreaking, as her mother was tragically killed, and the tiny baby became severely malnourished and was hospitalized for about a month, suffering from malaria and pneumonia. On Good Friday, April 3, 2015, Nick and Meredith heard about Mwayi’s birth ... and her struggle, which made her eligible for adoption.

On May 6, Nick and Meredith – along with a fellow church member who had been ministering in an orphanage in Malawi – traveled 9,000 miles to Mwayi’s birthplace.

Over the next three weeks, the pastor said, “We went on a whirlwind journey across the country, attempting to get everything necessary to adopt this little girl. These three weeks were the most difficult, faithchallenging and exhausting weeks of my life.”

Below are some reflections about his journey of love, based on a personal interview as well as details from the blog post: http://tinyurl. com/FloydAdoption.

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love

By Margaret Dempsey-Colson

Q: Please tell us about your family.

A: Meredith and I have been married for 10 years. We actually

celebrated our 10-year anniversary in Africa while adopting Maya (Mwayi). We have three biological children – Reese, 8-years-old; Beckham, 5-years-old; Norah, 2-years old – and our newly adopted child Maya Faith.

Q: When and why did you first start thinking about adopting?

A: We really felt called to adopt right after our son was born. We entered the adoption process not long after that and were on the waiting list for 5 years.

Q: A: We

Why did you and your wife gravitate toward international adoption? had several friends in our church who had adopted internationally, and so honestly that’s probably why we gravitated toward international. We applied to be put in the domestic program once our international plans fell through but were denied because of the number of children we already had. So we waited, and God reopened the international door.

Q:

How did you prepare your three biological children for welcoming a new sister from a different culture and of a different race into your home?

A: We had been in the process for a few years so they knew we were trying to adopt. We talked openly.

Q: A: We had been prepared for 5 years. … Then it snuck up on us really

How did you and your wife prepare for bringing your new daughter into your home? quickly, out of nowhere! I think we realized after we got back home that we hadn’t really prepared for all the details of her coming into our home because it all happened so fast.

Q: Tell us about your baby daughter’s name.

A: In Malawi, when we told people her name was Mwayi, they would

reply, “Do you know what that means?” Her name means “lucky.” I don’t really believe in luck. I do believe in a sovereign God of the universe who looked down on a small baby in a small village in a small country in Africa and intervened in a big way. We are calling her Maya Faith. We’ll keep Mwayi as a middle name.

Q:

You’ve only had Maya in your home for a few months now. What have been the biggest blessings and also the most significant challenges?

A: We got home the last day of May. Maya has been such a blessing to our family. Our other children are all in love with her. It’s a constant opportunity to share the amazing story of how God brought her into our family. The most significant challenges are just adjusting to having four children. We get an insensitive comment here and there, but for the most part, people have been amazing.

Q: Is the adoption complete?

A: Adoption is complete as far as Malawi goes. Her citizenship is not

all settled, but the Malawian court has ruled in our favor. Once we get her citizenship figured out, we will complete the American side of the process.

Q: A: Get ready for a roller coaster. It is often a long, frustrating and

What advice/suggestions do you have for other parents considering international adoption?

expensive process. However, we have been abundantly blessed and have seen God work a miracle like we could not have imagined. I’d so go for it if God is leading in that direction!

Q: A: In Ephesians 1, Paul relates our salvation to the picture of adoption.

How is your adoption of Maya a beautiful picture of our adoption by God as His children?

That makes a lot of sense to me. Just like little Maya was helpless and headed toward death, all of us are the same in a spiritual sense. We have a God who seeks us, who comes after us and who pursues us in adoption. Maya’s life will never be the same because of adoption, just like our lives are never the same after God’s adoption of us.

Our story is a story of God’s intervention. We didn’t expect it and still can’t explain it. What we do know is this: When God intervenes in your life, get ready for the ride of a lifetime.

Margaret Dempsey-Colson is special projects coordinator for Arkansas Faith & Family.

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Printed newspaper: $15 per year Digital newspaper: $8 per year

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IS YOUR CHILD READY?

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By Kelly Tolley

My 6-year-old daughter began playing softball this spring. My husband and I went to the first team meeting, and the coach told us about the equipment each player would need: bat, helmet, cleats, glove, the usual line-up. So we set out to the sports store to buy all of the necessary equipment.

Then we began to practice with our daughter, working on softball skills like catching, batting and fielding. My husband and I wanted to teach her the skills necessary to play softball and to be successful. We didn’t care if she was a softball superstar, but we did want her to know which hand her glove goes on and where to run if she hits the ball! We were equipping her with the skills needed for softball.

My husband and I are like most parents.

When a child starts a new venture, we want that child to be ready. We buy the equipment, and we put in the practice hours.

So why, then, do parents struggle to do the same in their children’s spiritual lives? Why aren’t we equipping them with the skills needed to dig deeper into God’s Word at a young age or to learn how to pray to God with intentionality and boldness?

every aspect of your life: at church, at home and in the world around you.

2. We are simply too busy.

Children have school, homework, ball practice, video games and dance class.

You name it, children have it. And, how do children get to and from all of these activities? Mom’s shuttle bus, of course! After you have taken one child to ball practice and one to piano lessons, cooked dinner, helped with 30 math problems and supervised bath time, all you want to do is collapse. I get it. I’ve been there. Almost every parent has been there.

But did you know that, in your busyness and chaos and in your perpetual state of exhaustion, children notice your priorities? Children see you make time for prayer (continued on next page)

I believe there are two simple reasons why we as parents do not focus on equipping our children spiritually:

1. We think our children get everything they need spiritually by attending church.

We reason, “We take our children to Sunday school, vacation Bible school, children’s choir and Bible drill. They must be learning everything they need to know.”

Of course, all of these ministries are wonderful avenues to impart knowledge into the little minds of our children, and I would recommend these for all children. But, children need to see you, their parent, make God a priority in

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and Bible study. They see you make church a priority, not a leftover. In those moments, when you may not even realize it, you are making an impression on their young hearts and minds.

I remember as a child going on vacation with my parents. We took a trip to the beach or went to visit grandma.

Once we went to Las Vegas for a basketball tournament. No matter where we went on vacation, we always went to church. My parents didn’t sit my brother and me down and tell us, “Church is important, and just because we are on vacation does not mean we take a break from church.” They didn’t have to tell us; we knew it by their actions.

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OK, so where do we start? How do we equip our children spiritually? It seems like a daunting task because it is such an important undertaking. But, guess what. You have a stepby-step Instruction Manual to follow and an open line of communication with the Author!

Here are five ways you can get started today, and then adjust these ideas to fit the needs of your family.

Kelly Tolley lives in Perryville with her husband, Travis, and two children, Ella Jane and Carter. She is the children’s ministry director at Perryville Second Baptist Church.

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Pray for your children.

Demonstrate the importance of attending church.

Hebrews 10:25 clearly tells us not to give up meeting together, and Acts 2:42 says the people devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship. “Devotion” is a word that people today tend to take lightly. But, our children need to see us devoted to the church, to worship, to Sunday school and to every aspect of church life.

Children need to see us make all of those things a priority, not just something we do if it fits into our already-busy schedule.

You can start praying for your children before they are even born; God says before we were even formed, He knew us (Jeremiah 1:5). Pray for their future salvation (Acts 16:31). Pray for their future decisions, that God will direct their steps (Jeremiah 29:11), and pray that they will listen to God’s direction. And, pray for godly friends (and also spouses) for your children. Pray that God will send wisdom to your children when they are selecting friends (James 1:5), and also pray that your children will be good friends, following God’s directives to clothe themselves with compassion, kindness and patience (Colossians 3:12).

Pray with your children.

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I believe one of the greatest spiritual disciplines you can teach your child is how to pray, and one of the greatest ways to teach children how to pray is by modeling. Let them hear you pray at church, at home, at meals, in the car, anywhere! Children learn so much when we don’t even know they are listening.

Once children have heard you pray and feel comfortable, have them start to pray with one- or two-sentence prayers. I can vividly remember being in Sunday school as a child, and we would go around the room and pray a “sentence-prayer.” I just wonder how many sentence-prayers God has heard ... and answered. God hears all of our prayers, from the most eloquent speech to the earnest pleas of an innocent child.

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When children get a little older, teach them the ACTS acronym for prayer – Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving and Supplication. You may have to use different words like “praise” (adoration), “sins” (confession), “thank you” (thanksgiving) and “request” (supplication) to explain the idea, but children will catch on really fast.

4 Have a time of family worship at home.

In Deuteronomy 6, we are instructed to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul and strength, and then to impress God’s commandments on our children, to talk about them when we sit at home or walk on the road or lie down or get up. Everything we do, say or think should follow this command. Yes, our children should see us worshipping God at church, but also at home, at work, at the ballgame, in the car and other places we go. This will make an impression on their hearts and minds.

We have no problem worshipping with our children at church, but what about at home? Do you have a dedicated time of family worship at home? Family worship does not have to be complicated. First, you need to have a dedicated time to worship together. For some families of teenagers, this is before school. One woman I work with said, “This is the only time our family is together every single day.” For other families of small children, right before bedtime may be the best time.

Next, determine a loosely followed routine. Open with prayer, sing a song of worship, read and discuss Scripture together and close with prayer. Or, your family might want to do half songs and half Scripture reading. Or, you might want to assign each family member to lead a devotion each night. There is no right or wrong way to do family worship. God tells us where two or three are gathered in His name, He is with us (Matthew 18:20). Fathers and mothers need to lead their children in these times of intimate worship. Children will begin to develop an intimate relationship with God, and these times of worship can foster family relationships built on a spiritual foundation.

5

Serve in the church with your children.

In most churches, acts of service are left to the adults and possibly youth, but I love seeing families serve together. A church in our area offers a family mission trip every year. The trip usually involves helping a smaller church conduct some kind of event like a block party or Christian concert, but the goal is to get families working side-by-side together, to honor and praise God. What’s the old saying? “Actions speak louder than words.” Your children will remember serving with you for the rest of their lives. These acts of service may open up new opportunities for your family or church. Ephesians 4:12 reminds us that God equips us for service so that the Body of Christ might be built up. That’s a pretty awesome responsibility for the church. Start now by preparing the hearts of your children for service.

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SEXUALIZED world Making a difference in an overly

By Garrick D. Conner

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ex. It’s a three-letter word with a loaded connotation.

It was God’s idea, but in many ways, it has become mankind’s god.

Long gone are the days when sex was merely alluded to in movies and on TV. Nudity and sex, once relegated to the dark corners of the marketplace, are now a regular part of our society. They show up not only on TV and in movies, but also in mainstream magazines, commercials and billboards. One could easily argue that we are bombarded by sexually-charged messages and media every single day.

We are, in fact, a nation obsessed with sex.

Pornography is running rampant in our society, with many clinging to the myth of anonymity as they give in to temptations to view pornographic images. Consider the statistics in the chart on the facing page.

the less our sense of shock.

Why does the media intake of most churchgoing Christians not look much different from that of the general population? I think it points to the failure of pastors and church leaders to shepherd and disciple the members of their congregations.

On any given day, my Facebook news feed is populated by likes, comments, photos, articles and videos that range from sexually suggestive to outrageously salacious. Sadly, much of the content and interactions described are from professing Christians.

In recent years, neurological studies have demonstrated that our addictions to technology are actually remapping our brains and stunting our capacity for oldfashioned interpersonal communication.

“I would suggest that we are not obsessed Perhaps my original assumption was with sex so much as not quite accurate. I would suggest that we are not obsessed with sex so much as we Nowhere has the reality of our nation’s we are starved for are starved for intimacy – the sense of being obsession with sex become clearer than with comfortable enough with another person so as to be the recent Supreme Court ruling effectively intimacy.” legalizing gay marriage in all 50 states. Whether it’s Bruce Jenner’s widely applauded transgender transformation – or – Miley Cyrus’ push-the-envelope style of near nudity – or – the recent publicity surrounding the hack of the Ashley Madison confidential affair-marketing website, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to shield our children and grandchildren from this unhealthy and unbiblical sex obsession.

And I’ve noticed something worth mentioning. The more exposure we have to all things related to sex, the greater our tolerance and 26

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emotionally and spiritually naked. It’s the idea of being known – really known – by someone else, yet unashamed and uninhibited.

Sexual innuendo, pornography, affairs and promiscuity often become means of acting out in order to fill a void created by an unsatisfying and unhealthy relationship or by the absence of an appropriate outlet.

I find that this is especially true for Christian singles. The truth is that compulsive sexual habits and behaviors frequently carry over into marriage, where the problems become more complicated and destructive.

Statistics on pornography today from CovenantEyes.com

• As of this writing, there have been 1.5 billion searches for online pornography since the beginning of 2015.

• One in five mobile searches are for pornography.

• 24 percent of smartphone owners admit to having pornography on their phones.

• The first exposure to pornography among men is 12 years old, on average.

• 20 percent of 16-year-olds, and 30 percent of 17-year-olds have received a sexually explicit text message.

And the typical response of the individual is to choose silence and emotional and/or social isolation over accountability and community.

This further fuels the bondage of sin.

As I was putting my thoughts in writing, I was approached by my dog, Maggie. She is so much like a child because she’ll do absolutely anything in order to get a few minutes – or even seconds – of interaction. Maggie has learned that even negative behaviors – like stealing shoes or chewing socks – will garner some attention.

Her eyes beg for just one touch, be it a pat on the head, a rub on the tummy or a brief game of tug-of-war. You may or may not be a petlover, but I doubt the meaning will be lost on you. We’d do well to ask ourselves a few simple questions: What if we touched our spouse even half as much as we touched our pets? What if we spoke tenderly and honestly, risking rejection but also love? What if we learned the fine art of being emotionally present with those we love, without the pressure or expectation of saying a word?

In a recent article for Christianity Today, Kathleen Mulhern tackles the subject of practicing spiritual disciplines in a high-tech, alwaysconnected world.

She writes poignantly, “We’re turning into virtual kiosks of information about ourselves, but are losing the ability to work through that thick space between us and our co-workers, between us and the people who sit in that pew in front of us every Sunday, between us and even our closest friends. Can we speak with grace and listen without judgment?”

Sex is a real sticking point. Technology is a real threat. Temptation is a real challenge. But I believe the root problem can be traced to the lack of real relationships that are grounded in the decency of personal communication.

The group 4Him sang a song many years ago titled “The Basics of Life.” The words resonate in a contemporary Christian culture that in many ways has made the tragic mistake of elevating happiness and devaluing holiness.

Those statistics include the whole population. It can’t possibly be that bad among people who claim to be Christians, right? Let’s see.

• 51 percent of pastors claim pornography is a real temptation to them personally.

• 64 percent of Christian men and 15 percent of Christian women claim they watch pornography at least once a month.

• 75 percent of pastors do not make themselves accountable to anyone for their Internet use.

We’ve turned the page, for a new day has dawned We’ve re-arranged what is right and what’s wrong Somehow we’ve drifted so far from the truth That we can’t get back home Where are the virtues that once gave us light Where are the morals that governed our lives Someday we all will awake and look back Just to find what we’ve lost In his book “A Compassionate Call to Counter Culture,” David Platt writes, “Any sexual sin, including the most heinous sexual sin, can be justified and rationalized by sexual sinners.”

Without question, there are no easy answers or quick fixes to the problems that plague our nation. The moral fabric of America is increasingly threadbare, and the rips and tears started in the Church, whose leaders some time ago largely abandoned their biblical responsibility to focus on the basics of discipleship.

In times like these, we Christians must do a better job of discipling our children and teaching them right from wrong. We must be the ones sharing with them God’s design for marriage and the gift of sexual expression that is meant to accompany it.

But we must also model for our children and grandchildren the simple pleasures of honest, unhurried conversation, tender touch and genuine interest in people.

While this is far from a formulaic prescription for stemming the tide of an overly sexualized world, like the old story of the little boy rescuing beached starfish, you will be positioned to make a difference – one person at a time.

Garrick D. Conner is discipleship pastor at Park Hill Baptist Church in North Little Rock. He and his wife, Michelle, have two children, Jackson and Caroline. You can find more of his writings at www.garrickdconner.com.

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“Are we raising warriors for God’s kingdom or only successful citizens of this world?”

LET THE WORD DO THE WORK PRAYING GOD’S WORD FOR OUR CHILDREN

By Laura Macfarlan

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aising children is hard work.

Without a doubt, parents would agree it is a paradoxical blend of commitment, joy, angst, drudgery and happiness that has us feeling confident or incapable, delighted or defeated and ready to laugh or cry – sometimes all in the same afternoon. Being handed a tiny person whose very life is dependent upon you conjures up both joy unspeakable and a weighty responsibility that threatens to break our hearts by its heaviness.

As Christian parents, we want to get this right. We want to protect them from hard lessons, but yet we know our own lives prove the adage: “Lessons are more caught that taught.” Life is indeed a classroom, and we learn best through experiences and circumstances. The implication for parenting, then, is that we are engaged in on-the-job training and learning. We don’t get to figure it all out first and then begin the parenting journey. It’s the living that brings the learning. We are changing and growing

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as we go, and sometimes our children are teaching us, too.

We finally figure out something that works, and then our children are growing into a new stage or season with new needs and challenges. It often feels like the only constant is change.

“

hope” (Psalm 130:5, NIV). God’s Word brings comfort, guidance and direction for Christian parents. We are not left to our own devices and values or limited by our own resourcefulness. God’s Word offers direction for all areas of life and is particularly helpful to us as parents. We can let the Word do the work!

Breathe. There is a constant that does not change. Our holy God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Let’s consider Psalm 127:4: “Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one’s youth” (NIV).

Take a time out.

Breathe. There is a constant that does not change. Our holy God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

He is our ever-present Help (Psalm 46:1), our Anchor in the many storms and the One we praise for the joy of being a parent. He is the Genius who thought up family and gave us these precious ones to love!

We are at war! Ours is a spiritual battle. Are we raising warriors for God’s kingdom or only successful citizens of this world? Are we praying our children will change the culture? Are we concerned the culture is changing them?

The Psalmist wrote, “In his word I put my

When an arrow is released, it goes ahead of

the warrior – to a place distant where he/ she cannot engage in face-to-face battle.

Our children will be released to places and people both geographically and time-wise where and when we will not go. At least two characteristics are necessary for a good arrow: It must have a straight shaft, and it must have a sharp point. The straight shaft ensures it arrives at the target and does not veer off course. The sharp point ensures it is effective when it gets there. God’s Word will hone, shape and sharpen our “arrow” to ensure it hits the mark effectively.

Let’s begin by praying our children come to faith at an early age and then that the roots of their faith go deep. Let’s ask God to grow warriors with an active faith who intentionally use their gifts and talents from Him to actively serve Him. Join with me in praying the passages below over our children, grandchildren or anyone you love. Use the prayers as prompts, but (of course) feel free to tailor them to your own child or family.

Sunday – Romans 3:20

“Therefore no one will be declared righteous in his sight by observing the law; rather, through the law we become conscious of sin” (NIV).

Lord, I pray my child would love Your Word. Show him the danger of accepting only selected passages and rejecting what he/she does not agree with. Give him/her the maturity to see Your Law as a mirror revealing sin and prompting the need for a Savior.

Monday – 1 John 1:8-9

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (NIV).

I pray my child would not fall prey to the deception that ignores the gentle prompting of the Holy Spirit. Thank You, God, that Your mercy never fails and You are a forgiving God.

Tuesday – Romans 2:4

“Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance?” (NIV).

Lord, I pray my child would welcome conviction, embracing it as Your kindness. I pray my child’s spirit would respond to conviction with repentance.

Wednesday – 1 Peter 1:22b

“Love one another deeply, from the heart” (NIV).

Jesus, help my child love sacrificially, unselfishly, stubbornly and deeply.

Thursday – Acts 20:35b

“The Lord Jesus himself said: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’” (NIV).

God, I pray my child would be a joyful giver of time, talent and treasure.

Praying for my children

Friday – John 14:21a

“Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me” (NIV).

Jesus, let my child see that obedience brings blessing. Let his/her belief prompt changed behavior.

Saturday – Acts 28:31

Sunday

Romans 3:20 Salvation

Monday

“Boldly and without hindrance he preached the kingdom of God and taught about the Lord Jesus Christ” (NIV).

I pray my child would have courage to boldly share the love of Christ and truth of the gospel.

1 John 1:8-9 Confession

God’s Word provides the words to pray to Him when we have none of our own. It renews our parental strength and reassures us of God’s provision.

Romans 2:4 Repentance

Because of God’s Word, I am forgiven for the parenting mistakes of my past.

Because of God’s Word, I can parent my child well in today’s season.

Because of God’s Word, I have confident faith in my child’s future.

As parents, we don’t claim the credit for our child’s successes, so we also need not accept all the blame for their poor choices. God has no grandchildren! Allow 1 Peter 4:8b to reassure you as a parent: “Love covers over a multitude of sins.”

Laura Macfarlan continues to pray for her children and grandchild from northwest Arkansas.

She is a member of First Baptist Church of Siloam Springs.

For more information, see www.

CrossMyHeartMinistry.com.

Tuesday Wednesday 1 Peter 1:22b Love deeply

Thursday

Acts 20:35b Live an active faith

Friday

John 14:21a Obedience

Saturday

Acts 28:31 Share the gospel

ARKANSAS FAITH & FAMILY // FALL 2015

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Is there more to life than this? There is…

Jesus said, “My purpose is to give them a rich satisfying life.” John 10:10, NLT God loves us and has plans for our lives.

“God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16, NIV Our problem is that we have willfully chosen to disobey God (called “sin”).

“All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23, NIV Though we deserve to be punished for our sin and separated from God, He provided a way for us to be forgiven and changed. “The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6:23, NIV

TO ENJOY THE LIFE GOD INTENDED FOR YOU, CALL 800.537.8720.

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ARKANSAS FAITH & FAMILY // FALL 2015

ARKANSAS FAITH & FAMILY // FALL 2015

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