The The Apricot Apricot Journal Journal
A compilation of literary works written by
A compilation of literary works written by South High Community School students. South High Community School students.
Editors’ Note Editors’ Note
Hello
everyone,
Happy belated new year! It is crazy to think that it is now 2023, and it has been almost three years since 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic struck the United States. Since then, time has held a weird meaning for many of us. We spent hours and days staring at computer screens—we lost a sense of what a normal week would feel like. When we came back to school and “normal life” last year, it was strange to go through an entire five-day week in person. We readjusted to having sports, clubs, jobs, and other activities that COVID had prevented. Now, we are in our second year back after COVID, still readjusting, still refamiliarizing ourselves with life.
And here we are, in a new year. For many people, a new year means a blank slate, a fresh start. And with the craziness of the past few years, we could all use a fresh start.
In this issue, you will find stories, essays, and poetry—in English and Spanish focused on the ideas of time, change, and the new year. We hope that you are inspired and moved by them—to contemplate your perception of time, and to think about your experience with change. Please enjoy the Apricot Journal’s ninth issue.
All the best,
The Editors-in-Chief
Anya
Geist & Denisa Iljas
Rachel Vuong, Grade 11
Malaak Massoud, Grade 10
Gabriella Martinez, Grade 10
Rania Amallah, Grade 11
Imran Mbaziira, Grade 12
Heidy Rodriguez, Grade 10
Matthew Lashua, Grade 9
Carina
Shannon Dennehy, Grade 10
Tianna Crankson,
9
10
An Ode to the Past
Rachel Vuong, Grade 11
the present becomes the past in the fall of a petal of a flower feelings become nothing more than a distant echo in my heart fleeting laughs and smiles slip through my fingers memories become engraved in black and white against my will, forgetfulness corrupts my mind it creates gaps in the moments i swore to always remember my memories become faded in the past once lost it’s as if they were never real
As People Change
Malaak Massoud, Grade 10
As the weather changed, you stayed the same
As daylight savings changed, you stayed the same
As the trends changed, you stayed the same
As the seasons changed, you stayed the same
As the quarters changed, you stayed the same
As the year changed, you stayed the same
As everyone else changes-even past the minute the hour struck 12
You are the same.
My New Year
Gabriella Martinez, Grade 10
My sister running up down the halls Of the hotel screaming.
And there it was It was a new year A motivator to become the person I’ve always wanted to be.
But I said this last year And made the same vision board with the same goals.
But I'm different this year, Right?
I'm new and determined And I didn't know everything I know now I know what it means All of it
But I thought that last year.
I want to be the best version of myself be the person Everyone wants and everyone wants to be.
But I'm stuck
Stuck in everything I've never been Stuck in last year.
Blank Fragment
Rania Amallah, Grade 11
What lies ahead is a complete mystery
It plagues my mind, it is the reason for my misery
It is the period of my life that is guaranteed
But does not yet exist
It is the accumulation of my past and present
It is the very product of every choice I make
Every word I speak
Every thing I do
Every emotion I feel
Will inevitably come back to you
Dear future
You are the imagination that encapsulates my thinking
And simultaneously the blank fragment of my life
I think about you constantly
Desperately trying to live in the present
How can I escape your suffocating grasp
And finally find peace in past
Pigeons on the Moon
Imran Mbaziira, Grade 12
Picture this: you're sitting in the sun. It's quite cold there. Unfortunately, you are dressed in a blue-striped dress shirt and beige cargo shorts. You’re desperately in need of something to make you warm. Across from you is a pigeon lying down on the moon. You look in its hand and behold: it is holding a gray sweater and a hot, steaming cup of tea in the other. You smirk a little and rub your eyes. While you are so indulged in this pigeon's eccentricity someone taps you on your shoulder…
You are startled and turn your attention to what just tapped on your shoulder. Nothing’s there, so you take a deep sigh and turn to look at the pigeon. There is no pigeon; it's a human being - a woman. She looks devastated and she is speaking with someone on the phone. You feel as if you would love to comfort her and tell her that everything will be alright. You desperately want to go give her a visit but you simply can't. How are you going to get there?
An hour goes by and the woman is still talking on the phone, and it's getting seriously chilly. Now she's shedding tears. It’s getting really frustrating for you, so you start wandering within the sun. As you are walking around there is this large gleam all around you. You are getting dizzy and you suddenly pass out. Waking up, you see the environment around you. It’s larger than normal and it's darker. Oh wait - you’re on the moon, and you're not human…
As you stand still in shock some hands pick you up and toss you in a cage. In front of you, outside of that cage, is the woman you saw when you were still on the sun. You try to fight to open the cage. She whispers, “stop, I'll keep you safe.” She takes you to this area and it's a thousands of other pigeons in cages. They look sad and now you are too…
What's there to do? Nothing. No one is there to save all of you. Not even the pigeon hoarder can see her cruelty.
A Happy Poem
Heidy Rodriguez, Grade 10
This is not a happy poem
No
This isn't about butterflies Or rainbows.
No
This is about life Because Life isn't happy
Life is sad
The rain clouds cover the blue sky
The darkness beats the light
The anger gets the best of us
The anxiety frightens us
The low self-confidence cowers us.
Some may say that there are still roses
There are still rainbows
There are still games and laughter
But life isn't all that Life isn't happy
This is not a happy poem.
The Effects of Social Media Due to The Pandemic
Matthew Lashua, Grade 9
In 2020, something unpredictable happened. An outbreak of Covid-19, a prior animal disease, caused the whole world to shut down. This began a global pandemic, causing people to turn to alternatives to socialize with friends and family. With the invention of Social Media, starting about 23 years ago, many people fled to this new reality to hopefully escape the isolating effects of the pandemic. Though it may have seemed like a good idea at the time, it affected most people in a harmful rather than beneficial way.
Social media use skyrocketed during the pandemic. According to Statista.com, electronic use went up 30% with people between the ages of 13 and 17, initially being only 32% and rising up to 62%. Most of that data was contributed to social media platforms like Youtube and Instagram. Youtube and Instagram have both been known for affecting their users' mental health, even before the pandemic, either by spreading false information or even playing with other people's feelings. Social media got worse to the point where people felt as if their only escape was also the thing that harmed them the most. In recent years, there's been one app in particular that has been pretty infamous for its content.
TikTok is a social media app that was created in 2017, following its predecessor, Musical.ly. Though TikTok was pretty famous before the pandemic started, it wasn’t until the lockdown that it blew up. TikTok is known for its short, bite-sized videos which many other social media networks like Youtube and Instagram have tried to copy. According to many child safety advocates on ABCnews, Tiktok’s algorithm can promote things like eating disorders, self-harm, or even suicide. Another infamous problem TikTok has been known for is the promotion of many dangerous and illegal challenges. Earlier in 2021, a trend surfaced, showing people (especially those under the age of 18) stealing things from public places like bathrooms and classrooms. This was known as the ‘Devious Lick’ challenge. This was not the only harmful trend that has spread to other Social Media platforms, and it won't be the last.
Though society has slowly been coming back together, the effects of social media are still lingering around us. As we know it, social media broke us apart more than it brought us together. It made us feel as if our voices weren’t being heard, or that they were judged for every step they took. The truth is, social media is still harming us today. We’ve gotten so used to using social media as a form of entertainment and socialization that we still use it that way today. Though we're slowly getting back to normal, social media still hasn’t changed at all. Most social media platforms have a way where users can directly message other users, like Snapchat and TikTok. Its intentions were to allow users to have fun and socialize with each other, but many users have experienced the complete opposite. According to the CDC, about 1 in 6 students were cyberbullied in the previous year. Most of these reports came from middle and high school students, age groups between 12 and 18. This is still a serious issue throughout social media, and this negatively affects the mindset of the victims. Though we know how social media can break us apart, can it bring us back together too?
The idea of social media was to connect people to others that they wouldn’t be familiar with in their daily lives. Though social media has evolved since its creation, its motive has always been the same for its users. So at the end of the day, is it really the user's fault? Not entirely. Social media platforms are designed to share and spread things that are trending at that moment. So because of this, the risk of sharing harmful or misleading media is high. Social media platforms are not sentient beings, so they can’t fully understand if something needs to be taken down or not. Going back to the question though, can social media bring us back together? The answer is ultimately yes. Again, the original idea of social media was to connect people from all around the world to each other. This idea never changed, but people misused social media to the point where our focus was shifted more onto the idea of jumping into a deep pool of different thoughts and feelings. Currently, many people have been shifting their focus back onto using social media to create bonds and friendships with other users, what social media was created for. In 2020, a new social media app was launched called ‘BeReal.’ The idea of BeReal is to give the user a certain two-minute time frame in which they can share a photo of themselves in real-time with friends that they have added. This photo can only be seen by your friends and is uneditable to prevent you from creating a false narrative of yourself, hence the name BeReal. The app's idea from the start was to connect people, without the worry of feeding into something potentially fake. Its intentions are so simple, but they have made a huge difference to how we look at social media now. We have slowly been taking social media back into our hands, using it not for its weaknesses but for its strengths. As you know, people have started using social media as a way to spread issues and problems that our generation faces today. Social media can spread that to people who may not be aware of the current situation. This is another example of using social media in a positive way. We are slowly working towards building a better future, and that starts with a better connection to each other.
The pandemic really made people feel a sense of isolation from one another. People needed some way to reconnect with each other, so everybody fled to social media, hoping to somehow connect with others as they did in the real world. Over time, it had a harmful effect on its users' mental health. It had a harmful effect on its users’ social responsibility. It had a harmful effect on its users’ reconnection to others. Spreading false information, dangerous trends, and even giving people the opportunity to harass and hurt others verbally. Social media really took a toll on the mental health of its users, and it really needs to be held accountable for that. As we're getting closer and closer to reconnecting with each other in person, we’ve been trying to take back social media for ourselves, and turn it back into what it was designed to be. We need to use social media in a way where we can actually connect with each other, where we can share a true part of ourselves without the feeling of being alone. Social media was made to give people the chance to present themselves and hopefully make connections with others, so let's bring it back to what it was created for.
Where Am I From Where Am I Going
Carina Diaz Perez, Grade 12
Mis sueños han nacidos en lugares
Que no han sido mios, se siente muy raro y ajeno
Mis sentimientos, lo que siento en cada lugar. “Amor mio”
A donde vamos? Si es con tigo no hay fin
Aunque le demos vuelta al mundo y mas aya, Ambos sabemos de donde pertenecemos.
Pertenecemos de la tierra, vamos a las estrellas
Solo con tigo triunfos no guerras.
No quiero estar en otro lugar o en otros brazos
Mis labios y mi cuerpo se siente seguro junto a ti,
Pues mi amor por ti es infinito
Y tu corazon, para mi es oro fino.
Diaz
Where Am I From Where Am I Going
English Translation
Carina Diaz Perez, Grade 12
My dreams have been born in places
That they have not been mine, it feels very strange and foreign
My feelings, what I feel in each place.
"My love"
Where we go? If it is with you there is no end Even if we turn the world around and beyond, We both know where we belong.
We belong to the earth, we go to the stars Only with you triumphs not wars.
I don't want to be in another place or in other arms
My lips and my body feel safe next to you, Well my love for you is infinite And your heart, for me is fine gold.
Diaz
Bad Habits
Shannon Dennehy, Grade 10
in the backrooms of my mind i have to be the best i live for proving others wrong i outwardly strive for my own success but i leave my self in the dust
i’ve toasted to far worse i’ve created this monster i’ve dug the grave so when the fire catches up to me my bad habits will have their apocalyptic grasp around my throat and my drive for being elite will drive me into the riverbank and i’ll watch myself make the very mistakes i tried so hard to avoid.
Ginger Playground
Shannon Dennehy, Grade 10
the location of beggars asking for knowledge my overwatered memories laid to rest in this ginger playground. vermillion years of energy and concentration. the swings were our temple of bright eyed innocence.
ice cold nights at the brink of dawn and the escape into our overgrown garden. visiting this ginger playground feels like striking a match with the sun and holding it in your hand waiting for the moment it envelopes our wildest temptations.
Timeless
Shannon Dennehy, Grade 10
5:30 am; my alarm rings, and my groggy brain begins to focus. i lost track of the day; monday, wednesday, friday the mornings blend together. it's hard for me to realize how time passes by. i forgot today was yesterday and how yesterday was last week. the hands on the clock never stop spinning, they just orbit around the numbers 12, 4, 8, 11, 2, 5, 9, midnight again these endless cycles feel encapsulating with Time’s cold, dead hands grabbing on to me, as i try to escape the past and run to my future.
The Dark and The Light
Tianna Crankson, Grade 9
Alone and silent.
That's how it always was in the dark, no light, no sound, and absolutely no love, nothing! This was my life for as long as I could remember. I longed to be like those other humans who had a choice, smiles plastered on their faces, surrounded by people who cared. Who weren't labeled as bad, evil, or different.
Suddenly something happened, something that has never happened before. A light, although dim like a light that would flicker often in a basement almost like it was fighting to stay bright. I had waited for years for something like this to happen and I wanted to be a part of that light. Anything, I thought, was better than here.
As I got closer to the light it shined brighter but as I tried to reach in I realized that it worked as if it was a mirror. It was as if the universe was taunting me and I hated it but as I was about to leave I realized something weird. In the light I saw bullies, they picked on kids younger than them but as teachers and adults walked by they acted like saints, lying straight to their faces.
I soon realized these were the same people that I had smiles plastered on their faces surrounded by people who cared except the people I thought cared for them were just as mean and self-centered. Soon the light got dimmer leaving me in the darkness again but this time instead of silence my mind was filled with thought.” how could the light be just as dark as the darkness?”
Maybe I'm the one who has it better because unlike the light I would rather be labeled different and know that I'm kindhearted than be labeled pretty or popular while everyone knows I'm mean and a bully.
After all this time of wishing, I had finally found the one place where I belonged and all I had to do all along was just realize that being different isn't a bad thing but that was what made me special and who I was. As I thought that the light had returned but this time it wasn't too dark nor too bright I was finally right in the middle where I belonged……….. Wake up Lila, wake up my mom said as she woke me up and I got out of bed.
Ode to Joy
Alina Liu, Grade 10
And you must be happy, because you are supposed to.
And you should be delighted, because those were the intentions.
And you have to be enraptured, because all else is too busy to care for you.
And why aren’t you happyis it because you’re bad?
And what happens, when one is stuck climbing And climbing through the painful journey to joy?
74 Aspen Court
Leah Bai, Grade 9
If you walked to 74 Aspen Court, opened the front door and walked up several flights of old creaky stairs, if you set down the ladder and opened the hatch, if you pushed past the piles bins and of stores, you would find a mirror with a small window next to it. It’s a rather large mirror with a simple frame, but it seems that someone liked it-for they made their home there. You see, covering the mirror is a web and in the middle of this large web is its maker: an innocent little spider. Now through the piles of bins and stores, back through the hatch, back down ladder, back down the creaky old stairs is a person. This person is also quite ordinary. They work a nine to five, paint as a hobby, and have a few friends. They live a neat lifestyle with little excitement, but they like it like that. That is all you need to know about 74 Aspen Court.
The web is shaking again. I know what this means. I steel myself in preparation, as in sync with me, it hits, I block. It snarls, “You cannot protect this world forever you know, I know you grow weary of this same routine, one day we will break through.” It is right. I have grown tired of defending this world for so long, but even so, just like everyday, I chant, “Esse superis tempus tuum hodie non est quia adhuc custido speculum.” Its side of the mirror flashes and it darts away.
That is my life. Every day one or more of them from the other side try to break through, try to escape their prison of their own regrets, their own pain, their own failures-trying to release their anguish on the world. My pedipalps quiver thinking about the nightmare the world would become if that happened.
Long ago, Their world was prospering: they had technological wonders in everything from medicine to transportation. However, it didn’t take long for them to become obsessed with their progress. Instead of the safe state-of-the-art transport, they made unstable portals. They had mastered the art of medicine and creation but it wasn’t enough so they tried to take the next logical step. Instead of healing the living or creating new life, they sought to bring back the dead. Their hubris and obsession led to their world being torn apart and them becoming just mere shadows. Unknown to this world, they were able to make one stable portal. The one which I was tasked with guarding from them all those years ago, and so here I stay year after year, decade after decade, looking out at the chest of drawers and the vanity that was moved in here some time ago.
My master knew that if they were to get through they would try to start again, bring back the experiments that doomed them the first time. They would try bringing back loved ones they lost, would try to use our world to fix ours. My master knew the rebirth of their world would be the death of ours, so he left me to guard it.
I can admit in earnest that if it weren't for my oath to my master I would’ve never taken nor kept this job. Some days I almost can’t remember why I do this, why I fight everyday. At first, it wasn’t so bad. The people knew of the other world, and hailed me as a hero. But now after all this time this world has forgotten, about me, about the other world, about the mirror. It is to no surprise that they forgot me. After all, not many people are fond of spiders. They no longer know the constant danger I protect them from. This ignorance that they now possess, while not surprising given the other side of the mirror looks identical to this side, is dangerous for if one of them discovered me I do not know that they would let me be. So it is with a heavy heart and a weary mind that I still guard this mirror, until death do us part.
“Ah what a lovely morning,” I say to myself. Today marks the fifth and final day of my spring cleaning. Unfortunately this means I have the hardest task left for me. The attic. This is the part I have been dreading doing this whole week. Apparently nobody has entered let alone cleaned that attic in centuries, so I know I have my work cut out for me.
“Let’s get this over with,” I say as I take down the ladder. As I open the hatch a huge cloud of dust comes out. Ugh, this is going to be a long day, I think as I enter. “Ew,” I think. Standing right before me is moldy and dusty vanity while right behind it is a chest of drawers in the same condition. “This is going to take forever,” I say out loud to myself. I climb up and down the ladder for what feels like thousands of times until, “Finally.” I go back up the ladder and enter the hatch for my last push. “Almost finished, just have that one last section and then I will have a clean usable attic.” “This deserves a smoke break” I tell myself as I make my way to the window and pull out my lighter. Then I see it.
There in the corner Is the largest spider I have ever seen.
Personally, I do not have a vendetta against spiders; however there's something different about this spider. It is just sitting there. I would have thought it was dead had it not moved ever so slightly when I looked at it. Not only is the spider unsettling but so is what it chose to make its home on. This spider sat on one of the most ancient looking webs I have ever seen and covered a mirror. This mirror the spider was sitting on looked fairly ordinary except for the fact it looked like it was brand new despite having been here for what I assume is forever. This miracle I realize could make me a pretty penny with an antique in such good condition is certain to be worth quite a lot. But I would have to get rid of or kill the spider. Maybe I should just leave it there. It's been there for so long a sentinel guarding its home. Even if it is a spider I would surely have a guilty conscience taking it’s home from it. “Maybe if I burn it it won’t suffer so much,” I think. I light my lighter and walk towards the mirror until I am right in front of it. I sit on my heels to light the web when the spider looks right at me, in those eyes I see something that feels much more intelligent than it should, suddenly; I don’t know what to do.
Anya Geist Editor-inChief
Christine Lam Magazine Layout
Benedict Morrow Editor
Natalie Boucher
Social Media Manager
Denisa Iljas Editor-inChief
Daniel Arnold Editor
Jenny
Huynh
Social Media Assistant
Ms. Bishop Advisor
Mrs. Eressy Advisor
Staff Staff Members Members
