UE Manila GCCSO Guiding Warriors Gazette, 2020

Y OF TH SIT

GU IDA N CE, C O U NSE L ING A N D C A R E E R S ERVICES OFFICE, UE M AN IL A

February 2020

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

UNIVER

Volume 4

The Blessing Uncertainty of

Y

Ma. Leonila Vitug Urrea, PhD Director, UE Guidance, Counseling and Career Services Office

es, you read it right! If grace is possible under pressure, confidence in uncertainty is a blessing in disguise. In this volatile generation, changes happen easily with just the blink of an eye. As information is instantly ready to be devoured by our inquisitive brain 24/7 and relationships can be virtual, be ready to be surprised by what lies ahead of you. Life runs too fast and if you are not quick enough, you can effortlessly be trampled on by insurmountable circumstances.

So, rise to the unexpected challenges and see the magic this can bring to you.

As we open our eyes to these realities and find the balance between the positivity and the negativity of our being, we will realize that we become more assiduous,

tolerant and empathetic of others, patiently adaptable of conditions we cannot change, and mindful and engaged to our vision of tomorrow.

Join us again as we journey to these possible truths. The articles shared here by the Guidance Staff are culled from their experiences in dealing with individuals they work and relate with in today’s unpredictable generation. And as we write our thoughts on these experiences, we hope that, one day, we may all step back and appreciate with more clarity the meaning of our accomplishments.

IN THIS ISSUE

2

PERMA to Combat VUCA

3

Accepting Change Through Emotional Intelligence

4

Assiduous

5

Living in the Moment: Finding Stillness in Uncertainties

6

Filipinos and Our Tolerance of the Uncertain

7

Gaining Career Confidence in the VUCA World

8

Bringing Out Empathy in Our Daily Lives

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

2

Y OF TH SIT

W

PERMA to Combat VUCA

e hold on to the premise that the more successful we are, the happier we become. It is true that whenever we achieve a goal, whether big or small, we feel a sense of satisfaction. When we finish a school project, or are promoted at work, or passed a licensure exam, or just bought an item we have been longing to buy, we feel so happy being able to see the fruits of our labor. Success makes us happy. That is our idea of happiness and fulfillment. However, it makes much more sense to think the opposite of it. Success flows from happiness (Hodder, nd). When we are happy, we are much more likely to succeed in life.

Being positive amidst Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity and Ambiguity (VUCA) is taught in Positive Psychology (PP). It is valuable to realize that our positive thoughts and feelings influence how we react and act on things. If we are positive in any given situation, we are more likely to respond effectively and, thus, attain good results out of it. Positive Psychology focuses on finding out how to make life worth living, not on finding ways to fix a problem.

Traditional Psychology has long been focusing on dysfunctions, symptoms, treatments and other negativities, which ignores the ways on how to discover life’s optimum potential. That is why Positive Psychology emphasizes positive events and influences in life, including positive experiences, positive states and traits, and positive institutions. But Positive Psychology is not just about happiness and positive feelings. Positive psychology is also about well-being.

Martin Seligman, the founding father of PP, developed a theory of well-being called PERMA (Positive Emotions, Engagement, Positive Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment) which are the five elements of well-being and happiness. It helps people discover a life of fulfillment, happiness and meaning. Once we experience these five elements, we experience a state called flourishing, one of the most significant notions in PP. We flourish when we express joy and pleasure, use our talents and strengths, meaningfully relate with others, and render a significant service to the world. That is why flourishing not only involves feelings but actions as well.

Being able to discover what we love to do helps us be more engaged in living our life. That is what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, co-founding father of PP, coined as flow. Artists or painters experience flow while creating art. They feel various positive emotions while working that they almost forget that time is passing by. This particular state makes us become immersed in what we do. So, whenever we do tasks that do not challenge us, we become bored. Flow leads to greater happiness and well-being.

Thus, Positive Psychology researches on our potentials, strengths and talents to maximize healthy functioning, which leads to more significant relationships and a satisfying life overall.

Pursuing a good and meaningful life leads to triumph even in the presence of hardships.

Anne Camille D. Mercado, RPm

REFERENCES: Hodder, M. (n.d.). Mark Hodder. Retrieved from http://www.markhodder.net/applied-positive-psychology/4564613741

UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

Y OF TH SIT

3

“

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them; that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality.

Accepting Change Through Emotional Intelligence

Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.”

T

― Lao Tzu

”

here have been many times when I caught myself saying, “Why fix it, if it is not broken?” or “I can’t understand what they are saying.” Then it hit me: The world I live in has evolved. What I learned then might possibly not be useful now. Sometimes I still try to resist the changes, but in the end it’s inevitable.

The impact of change is greatly felt especially if you’re working in the academe. Our profession as counselors requires us to face adolescents using various learning techniques and strategies. Our programs and activities should be constantly enhanced to suit the different needs of our students.

A 2018 article by Wiens and Rowell said that change in any form can be emotionally draining, resulting in anxiety, fear, and frustration. Change really does trigger many emotions, which is why strengthening one’s emotional intelligence is vital in these volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous situations. Along this context, here are a few meaningful tips to help resolve conflicts on change and how emotional intelligence can help.

1. Know and understand why you are resisting. By identifying the origin of your resistance, you will understand your predicament better. Overreacting or overthinking results is poor decisionmaking. Most of the time, when emotions are heightened, the ability to rationalize weakens. It helps to question yourself about the real emotion you are experiencing regarding the change. Once you have established that, your plan of action becomes clearer. You can ask yourself questions like: “What are you worried about?”, “How does this change affect you?”, “How do really feel about the change?”, “What are the pros and cons of the change?”

2. Relieve your stress. More than anything, it is best to look at any situation with a calm mind and heart. Things always go awry when you react at the height of your emotions. There are a variety of stress management techniques to be found online. Even a simple breathing exercise during an emotional situation really helps.

3. Learn about it. To keep pace with the changes, it is important to always update yourself with relevant information or current issues. By doing so, you will be giving yourself a chance to have your own opinion based on facts, then the idea of change will be easier to accept.

Ma. Gracia M. Gallardo-Gonzales, RGC

4. Be proactive. When emotions are subdued, the rational part of the brain is turned on. The chance of making better decisions is high. What better way to practice making sound judgements than to immerse yourself in the things that are unclear and uncertain to you? Being involved in the implementation of change gives you a hands-on experience of the dynamics reducing the urge to resist.

5. Accountability and mindfulness. A person with high self-awareness knows how to reflect on the implications of their decisions and actions on change. Owning the negative impact of their resistance to change creates a possibility of opening their minds to acceptance. Mindfulness is an effective tool in this situation because it allows you to examine your real feelings at present and how it affects your perception and judgement.

6. Practice positive thinking. Studies show that having a more positive view of things opens new possibilities, boosts self-esteem, and makes one become more accepting on change.

According to an article by James Clear, positive thinking is not just about being happy with the things we do. Being positive opens new doors and shows us real things that we value most, the learning and experiences that transcend time and motivate us when the going gets tough.

Emotional Intelligence does not develop overnight. It entails a long journey, with us constantly evolving as new challenges appear.

For every event, obstacle, and breakthrough we face in life, we learn more about ourselves. A piece of the puzzle is placed as we continue to complete the canvass enabling us to become more resilient and respond better to change.

REFERENCES: https://www.td.org/insights/is-emotionalintelligence-the-key-to-effective-changemanagement

https://whatis.techtarget.com/definition/ VUCA-volatility-uncertainty-complexityand-ambiguity

https://jamesclear.com/positive-thinking

UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA

hbr.org/2018/how-to-embrace-changeusing-emotional-intelligence

Assiduous Ma. Lihra M. Daza, RGC

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

4

Y OF TH SIT

Just like how the people before us have strongly withstood the test of time, such Filipinos, from a socio-anthropological perspective, have survived oppression by being pliant. Like them, we too, can survive this world of uncertainty with the following attitudes and skills:

W

illed. We can be strong-willed and determined to emerge victorious from the challenges we face.

A

cceptance and adaptability. Acceptance that things may not always go our way will help us become more adaptable to our environment, and more courageous to gain our fighting chance to achieve our visions.

R

esponsibility. No one is accountable for what we become and how we end up but ourselves.

R

I

n this fast-changing world leading towards the fourth Industrial Revolution, survival has depended on psychological toughness, competitiveness and resourcefulness. One must be mentally and emotionally strong to withstand the pressure of being really good in whatever one has chosen to pursue… and of the societal expectations that dictate how one must become a contributor to a larger community. With this uncontrollable environment becoming even harder to grasp, comprehend and control, how can we be more capable of enduring?

It pays to understand this “uncontrollable” environment that we live in. From the business perspective, this environment is referred to as VUCA, an acronym for volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity. While these terms may suggest a threat to success, would it be believable to learn that these are actually opportunities?

The unknown unknowns[1] (ambiguity) and uncertainty actually serve us good. They pushes us to work hard and prepare for whatever there is to come. Surely, no one can predict what will happen in the coming hours or days or months and years, but have you ever wondered what makes us persist even though we have no assurance that our efforts will pay off? Hope. Living in an uncertain world gives us hope—that things will be better, that we can become better. Realistically, all good things will pass–which is why we have to work really, really hard to sustain all the good things we have. In the same manner, all bad things shall pass too.

Therefore, we also have to work really, really hard to achieve better days while enduring the pain brought about by the obstacles we are encountering. Take note of the key word: hard work. Hope entails striving for what we envision to achieve, and for how we can come out as better people from all the challenges we have overcome.

Knowing that the unknown exists empowers us to aim for leaving something remarkable for the people that matter most to us.

Change is possible. In fact, it moves in an inconstant and unstable manner. As Heraclitus’ popular quote says “There is nothing permanent except change.” Thus, we have to be pliant like a bamboo—strong but flexible. No matter how strong the storm or the wind is, the bamboo can hold its ground firmly and sway to the wind so that it does not break. In light of our way of dealing with challenges, we must be capable of holding our ground sturdily through our values, skills and attitudes, and still be capable of swaying with the wind and coping with changes in whatever aspect of our lives.

esourcefulness. Being capable of working on whatever assets we have can influence our ability to adapt to change.

I

ngenious. Our ability to think outside the box in dealing with challenges will help our journey through ambiguity.

O

pen-minded and open-hearted. Constant change also requires the capacity to be taught, and to understand and empathize with others.

R

esiliency. One of our distinct characteristics as Filipinos is our ability to bounce back and recover after a challenging situation, using internal and external resources that we have (such as faith, inspiration of the people we dearly love, and optimism).

It is also necessary to emphasize that in this ambiguous world, one thing is certain: our actions create a ripple effect.

Visualize how a single pebble can create ripples that spread out and disturb the surface of water in a pond. In a similar manner, humans are interrelated; thus, we are capable of influencing the lives of other people no matter how big or small our actions are.

And similar to the ripple effect, the ripples we create that affect others may in one way or another bounce back to us. Therefore, we have to work hard to always be responsible for ourselves, our thoughts and actions.

As the principle of human behavior and cognition says, we are never capable of changing other people; we can only work on the change within us. But, if collectively, we could realize how powerful this ability is and utilize such for goodwill for ourselves and for others, wouldn’t living in any environment, no matter how uncertain, ever-changing, interrelated and unknown it is, be more bearable, if not better?

REFERENCES: [1]

https://www.hbr.org/2014/01/what-vuca-really-means-for-you

UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

Y OF TH SIT

Living in the Moment: Finding Stillness in Uncertainties Dianne G. Rodriguez, RGC

H

ave you ever been asked if you already have insurance? There are so many choices, from life, health, to educational insurance and a lot more. Don’t get me wrong; preparation for a devastating life occurrence is all well and good. It gives us a sense of control over the uncertain future.

But if we think about it, with all the future preparations we are doing, are we really prepared in facing uncertainties?

Stacey Fuller (2015) asserts that “in considering the temporary nature of all things and in acknowledging that change can come at any moment, we can see that total certainty in life is but an illusion.”

Living a fast-paced life surrounded with uncertainties can be overwhelming for everyone, especially for people who are not accustomed to change, bringing us stress and anxiety over things we cannot control.

Others might argue that it is a matter of perspective or readiness to embrace change.

But while we are trying to grasp the concept of being “in control” of our outer world, is it safe to ask if we really are in control of our lives? And if we are, would we say that we are happy with how our life turned out to be? If we are not in control of our lives, to whom or to what we do we owe who or what we are today?

With so many changes happening every day we are also left with so many choices to decide on. Can we really control the outcomes in our life? And if we cannot, doesn’t it feel frustrating? How do we deal with it? Sometimes, the best solution is to tune out this world and just be in the moment, in the present, right here, right now.

To the person who is reading this article, how are you? Thank you for giving yourself some time to pause and reflect, you owe that much to yourself.

Dr. Joe Dispenza proposed that “where you direct your attention, is where you direct your energy.” I can say that we all have our choices where we direct our attention, but more often than not, our days are filled with reminiscing painful pasts we cannot change or worrying over the uncertain future that is yet to come. We start finding ourselves stuck in a whirlwind of emotions of the past and relating it to the anxiety-laden tomorrow. Aren’t you tired of thinking and feeling about something that might not even happen?

Here’s what mindfulness can offer to slowly move yourself away from the noise and find stillness in moments of uncertainty. Mindfulness is basically about “being aware.” Jay Dixit (2006) described mindfulness as “a state of active, open, intentional attention on the present.’’

Furthermore, John Kabat-Zinn emphasizes that if we want to feel that we are in control of our lives and our mind, we need to learn to pause and “focus on just being.” Authors on mindfulness suggest easy and doable tasks for people to learn how to be mindful.

Breathe Pause and give yourself some moments to breathe. When you breathe, focus your attention to yourself. Feel the tension in your chest and shoulders as you breathe in and notice the falling of your shoulder as you breathe out. Breathing helps us calm down, focus our attention on what needs to be done and centers our thoughts and emotions. When we are unsure of our thoughts, feelings or action in moments of uncertainty, don’t forget to breathe.

Close your eyes When you close your eyes, you temporarily tune out what you see around you and, suddenly, every movement or sound is magnified. When we close our eyes we can get in tune with ourselves and our emotions. Listen to your body. As we do this, let’s check how we are feeling and acknowledge the feelings, but let us not judge ourselves. We can simply tell our self, for example, that we are angry, sad, frustrated, etc. and just breathe it away.

We can also use this time to feel where the pain in our body is coming from as we feel our emotions. This can help us be aware in moments when our anxiety starts to rise and where most of our tension is centered in our body. With this exercise and continued UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA

5 practice, you can start sensing when to feel and how to feel for you to manage your thoughts, feelings and actions.

Be Kind to Yourself Accept that “total certainty is an illusion.” Stacy Fuller (2015) explains that we have certain degrees of control in the “trajectory of our lives” but we do not have full and exclusive control of our lives. In moments of struggle, she mentioned that it is good to take action where you can but it is important to recognize that we cannot always be on top of everything.

By accepting this truth, we can begin to slowly remove the anxiety surrounding the “unknown.”

Talk to friends Support is always important in moments of struggles, sometimes having someone who cares and who listens lightens the burden we have. Sharing how we feel or think with someone always helps us feel much better.

Take some time for yourself Have a break, go for a walk, take a vacation, eat at your favorite restaurant.

Pausing and making yourself feel good will help you feel grounded. Taking care of your self doesn’t have to be expensive; just find what makes you feel at home. If all else fails, perhaps it’s time to see a professional.

We have to recognize that sometimes we need someone who is more knowledgeable to help us.

Dixit (2008) claims that mindful people are happier and more secure. By reducing self-consciousness through mindfulness, we serve as a witness to our life drama in moments of uncertainty as they unfold.

With this awareness, we become more still and in control. Lastly, one paradox in life comes from the pursuit of progress but finding difficulty to get out of comfort.

Are you ready to start your inner journey?

REFERENCES: Jay Dixit (2008), “The Art of Now: Six Steps to Living in the Moment” Psychology Today Magazine, Nov/Dec 2008 Joe Dispenza (2019) ”Where Your Attention Goes Your Energy Goes | Dr. Joe Dispenza and Lewis Howes” website link: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=Om435J7u1T8 Stacey Fuller, LMFT (2015), “Living with Uncertainty: How to Cope During Ambiguous Times” Copyright 2015 GoodTherapy.org Retrieved: October 22, 2019 Website link: http://living%20with%20Uncertainty_%20 How%20to%20Cope%20During%20Ambiguous%20 Times.html

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

6

Y OF TH SIT

Filipinos and

Our Tolerance of the Uncertain Ramon J. Mendoza, RPm

T

he Philippines is known for its diverse culture, traditions, values, natural resources and, of course, its hospitable and welcoming people. Friendly, warm, hardworking, kind—these are words foreigners often use to describe Filipinos. Why? It is because they are known for their, our, optimistic approach to life’s challenges. Filipinos get the most out of everything life has to offer. They are the very essence of the saying “when the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

So, how do Filipinos actually live with uncertainties? Here are some of their traits that explain why.

Flexibility

Optimism

Resourcefulness

Openness & Faith

Coming from a Filipino’s perspective, it’s all about learning how to adapt to situations that may arise. Filipinos are always credited for being alert and being able to cope with different circumstances.

We are also one of the few Asian nationalities praised for being fluent in speaking the universal language, English.

Worrying about uncertainties is normal since we are all human. However, we Filipinos, for some reason, are able to worry about things while keeping a positive and optimistic perspective. We get stuck in traffic, experience delays at the train station, and we will still arrive in the office sharing funny stories about the trip. We get hit by a typhoon and we still post selfies while enjoying the flood. We oftentimes face uncertainties, especially since we live in a Third World country, but still we manage to keep a positive attitude.

As mentioned earlier, Filipinos get the most out of everything—time, money, things are essentials. Filipino workers, or Filipinos in general, transform into “MacGyvers” when situations arise wherein we need to improvise. We have the ability to be creative enough in providing a temporary solution to a problem rather than leave things or do nothing at all.

Last but not the least are openness and faith. Since we acknowledge the idea of a Higher Being, we are more open with uncertainties and trust, that everything will fall into place if it’s God’s will. We have a tolerance for the uncertain. We accept that life is full of unexpected moments, full of struggles but it is what makes it more beautiful and more adventurous.

REFERENCES: Retrieved from YouTube, “Why I’ve Been to the Philippines 29 Times, May 11, 2018. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=ShlzrzeYMU8

No author, 2010 January 10. “What are some of the positive traits of Pinoys?” Retrieved from https://www. philstar.com/inbox-world/2010/01/17/541180/whatare-some-positive-traits-pinoy

The Manila Times, 2019 May 26. “Filipino optimism that seem to never run dry” Retrieved from https://www.manilatimes.net/2019/05/26/opinion/editorial/ filipino-optimism-that-seems-to-never-run-dry/559969/559969/

UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

Y OF TH SIT

V

olatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity (VUCA) are some of the realities of our world nowadays. These are four distinct types of challenges that need different responses. Taken together, all these are one big challenge to prepare for this world (5).

The same phenomena is present in the world of work. Volatility is the constant change that is happening in our economy. Countries previously considered giants in the economy are now experiencing some sort of crisis. Economists are being caught unaware and it’s becoming difficult to determine the cause and effect, more so ways to prevent such challenges. Many companies are filing for bankruptcy here and abroad.

Since the economy has become difficult to predict or forecast, many are finding it difficult to plan and are becoming uncertain of the future.

Adding to this concern is the complexity of the problem. The reasons and effects are enmeshed with other causes and effects. It is becoming difficult to find the best practice because of the ambiguity in our world.

Though we can learn something from our past, we cannot replicate the lessons learned to produce the same results. Nowadays the “what” has been replaced by “why” and “how”.

So how do we prepare for the VUCA world? The VUCA World Organization suggests leadership strategies substituting the negative connotation of VUCA to mean Vision, Understanding, Clarity and Adaptability (3).

Following the new meaning of VUCA, we can be prepared for the new world. Have a vision for your goals. What is your target? When would you take action? Be specific about it. Use the SMART method!

(SMART: Specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-based.) Be clear with your plans and take action to attain your goals.

Make a conscious effort to understand. Understand what is happening in your environment. Observe, study, and avoid prejudice or rash judgments. Most of all, make an effort to understand yourself. What are your aspirations? What career will you flourish in? Empower yourself by enhancing your self-awareness. Learn to love and accept yourself, flaws and all. Remember that you are a wonderful creature of God (4).

In a very complex world, and as hard as it may sound, you should try to live simply. You should have clarity in your life and choices. Be clear with your intentions. Be transparent and have no pretentions. Will your chosen career provide clarity or complexity of living? If it’s the latter, abandon your choice and rethink your decision.

As much as we can learn lot of things in our past, “the best practice was yesterday; the best thinking is in demand today and tomorrow.”

We must learn to be adaptable in this fast-paced world. We must practice ways on how we can practice our adaptability skills: enhance interpersonal skills, be flexible, have lots of options. Be resilient in times of adversity, as it will not always be a walk in the park in the world of work.

As we are constantly challenged with changes, we should learn how to respond properly. We have to be prepared for it as the response to change is mandatory. Should we be afraid to face the future? Nah! Fear not was said to be mentioned 365 times in the Bible, one for each day of the year. Though that claim was found to be untrue, the comforting promise of God remains true (1). With God walking ahead of us, the key is preparation to counter the VUCA world.

“

“Sometimes the one thing you need for growth is the one thing you are afraid to do. ―Shannon L. Alder (2)

7

”

Gaining Career Confidence in the VUCA World Ann Joizelle D. Enverzo, RGC, RPm, LPT

REFERENCES: (1) Gaultiere, B. (n.d.). “Fear Not! 365 Days a Year”. Retrieved October 27, 2019 from https://www. soulshepherding.org/fear-not-365days-a-year/

(2) https://www.goodreads.com/ quotes/tag/career-change (3) “Leadership Skills & Strategies VUCA world”. Retrieved October 23, 2019 from https://www.vuca-world.org/

(4) Psalm 139:14 Holy Bible King James Version (KJV).

UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA

(5) Seth, R. (2017) “Preparing Young Minds for Career Options in ‘VUCA’ World”.

Retrieved October 23, 2019, from https:// www.linkedin.com/pulse/preparing-careeroptions-vuca-world-rakesh-seth

UNIVER

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

8

Y OF TH SIT

Bringing Out Empathy In Our Daily Lives Mary Claire S. Asis President, UE Peer Facilitators SY 2019-2020

Y OF TH SIT

RS

AS EE T

GUIDING WARRI

UNIVER

I

t’s hard to watch someone who is suffering. We may feel their pain or absorb their sorrow; we worry that we may not know what to do or say. Such uncomfortable moments might make us turn away from their distress—to preserve our own well-being or to carry on with our lives. The ability to connect empathically with others—to feel with them, to care about their well-being, and to act with compassion—is critical to our lives, helping us to get along, work more effectively, and thrive as a society.

My degree program, on Psychology, provides a vast aspect of learning and one part of this is about being empathic to people. These days, some people ignore the things they do not understand and things they have a hard time explaining, because it is better to leave and brush off the idea about understanding a person rather than being a part in helping someone out. In my case, I feel for others—an attitude I’ve had for so long. Through that, I learned the essence of empathy and how it works.

Many confuse empathy (feeling with someone) with sympathy (feeling sorry for someone), and both of these are very different from each other. Empathy involves the ability to emotionally understand what another person is experiencing. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else’s position and feeling what they are feeling.

In entering an organization like the UE Peer Facilitators, it brought me this idea of establishing empathy towards my members and the people around me. My personally reaching out to people who are at their lowest might help improve our society. When you see another person suffering, you might be able to instantly envision yourself in the other person’s place and feel sympathy for what he/she is going through.

We don’t need to have the exact same experience or scenario in life to empathize with somebody else. As human beings, we all experience similar feelings of joy, sadness, loss, love, fear, loneliness, pride, shame, guilt, relief and elation. If we listen in a way that allows us to relate to that common feeling or human experience, we can improve our connections and shared understandings with others. Verbalizing empathy allows the people in our lives to feel heard, known, understood and connected to us.

It can diffuse conflicts, as once people feel heard, they may not feel the need to become increasingly defensive or aggressive to get their message across.

Empathy is a skill that can be developed. For example: your girlfriend/ boyfriend is upset that his/her boss reprimanded and humiliated him/her in front of his/her peers.

Non-empathetic responses such as “Don’t let that upset you” are quite invalidating, if you ask me, but if we turn it into an empathic response like, “That was really unprofessional and uncool of your boss. It is completely understandable that you are upset. I know how hard you work and how invested you are in your job,” sounds validating and is not oppressing the idea of the problem.

In a world full of ungrateful episodes, we may have a hard time to empathize with people. Yet we can reinforce the idea that we can strengthen our way of thinking to reach each other and, little by little, we can make a great change around us no matter where we go.

EDITORIAL BOARD MA. LEONILA V. URREA, PhD Supervising Editor MA. GRACIA M. GONZALES Editor in Chief LOUISE ANN L. ESCOBER CHRISTIAN MILLEN C. DIGA Layout Artists ANN JOIZELLE D. ENVERZO ANNE CAMILLE D. MERCADO DIANNE G. RODRIGUEZ MA. GRACIA M. GALLARDO-GONZALES MA. LIHRA M. DAZA MARY CLAIRE S. ASIS RAMON J. MENDOZA

Contributors

EDILBERTO B. SULAT JR.

Consultant

All images used in this publication are under Creative Commons license CC0 and were sourced from pixabay.com

REFERENCES: https://theconversation.com/understandingothers-feelings-what-is-empathy-and-why-do-weneed-it-68494? fbclid=IwAR2sSiJ6cyhVEpi3-0_ OgfUXQqcHAGudWjwmzVq6YpzriZpF2JHg31WUTaE https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_the_ world_needs_an_empathy_revolution https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-empathy-2795562

UNIVERSITY OF THE EAST MANILA