Men The Forgotten Gender by Ang Taga

ANG TAGA

Ed torial Board and Staff A war ds

ROSALEA FENINA MARGALLO Ang Taga Chair

MARVIN PABLEO Ang Taga Co-Chair

KIM ANGELO MANSUETO Artistic Adviser

EDLEN RJ SAUSA Editor-In-Chief

DEUTSCHE MARK RONDINA Associate Editor-In-Chief-Writing

JOHN LYNARD REDOBLE Associate Editor-In-Chief-Visual

LUCKY JEWEL ROSE SALVADOR Creative Director

PERCIVAL MABANTO JR. News Editor

LEDEN FAITH DABATOS Literary Editor

JOSEPH RALGIE BANSILOY Editorial Cartooning Editor

DONALYN SABANAL News Writer

MARY ANGELI DEL MAR Feature Writer

NATHALIE JEAN TEMPLADO Feature Writer

JOAN HERNANDEZ Literary Writer

ANDREW CARL AMAD Literary Writer

MARVI RULLAN OFIAZA Editorial Cartoonist

CERELYN KAYE BUENDIA Editorial Cartoonist

RENEIR ROSE C. ELECCION Layout Artist

NORJEAN YOSORES Photojournalist

MARJERICK BALANSAG Photojournalist

ABOUT THE COVER

M ODE L S

Jans se n Niño Tarongo y Narlou Tabana o

F erbi e n Tabana o Chri s Rudolph F erolin o John D av e B e n s in g

1st Place in the FSJ Virtual Press Conference 2021

Best Magazine Category

Best Editorial Page Category

Best Feature Page Category

3rd Place in the FSJ Virtual Press Conference 2021

Best News Page Category

JOSEPH RALGIE J. BANSILOY

FSJ Virtual Press Conference 1st Place Editorial Cartooning

EDLEN RJ L. SAUSA

FSJ Virtual Press Conference 2021

2nd Place Sports Writing 2nd Place News Writing

PERCIVAL R. MABANTO JR.

FSJ Virtual Press Conference 2021

3rd Place News Writing

DEUTSCHE MARK L. RONDINA

FSJ Virtual Press Conference 2021 2nd Place Featue Writing

JOHN LYNARD S. REDOBLE

FSJ Virtual Press Conference 2021

3rd Place Photojounalist

ANGELICA MAE G. VILLANUEVA

2021 Hinasashan Workshop for Young Writers Qualifiers

JANELLE MIKAELA BALICOCO

1st prize 2019 PASUC Essay Writing (CTU South Cell)

1st prize 2019 PASUC Essay Writing (CTU System)

3rd Prize 2019 PASUC Essay Writing (Regional)

MERRY JOSEPHINE BALICOCO

2019 Fellow Paglambo Regional Creative Writing Workshop

GABRIEL REYVEE EMMANUEL L. PAQUERA

2021 Hinasashan Workshop for Young Writers Qualifiers

MEN THE FORGOTTEN GENDER

Men are often acknowledged as brave and strong. In the vastness of society, their existence is remembered but neither felt nor seen. The world fails to recognize that they are humans capable of vulnerability. Men need what everyone else desires: love, protection, and empathy.

N e l s on John Seno c C e drick Pera s

Rony Macasero Jr

L yfhord Aspaci o

Love that embraces flaws, offers protection against inequalities and false judgment, and shows empathy for every circumstance they endure. They have equal rights and freedom of expresbroken. re ’they when cry can They sion. Men are men. They live not only for themselves but also for the welfare of others.

In the ongoing discourse surrounding gender equality and gender-related issues, the focus often seems to center primarily on women’s rights and the challenges they face. While it is undeniable that women have historically been marginalized and continue to face various forms of discrimination, it is equally important to acknowledge that men can also be victims of gender-based problems.

This essay delves into the concept of men as the forgotten gender, highlighting how men are rarely considered as victims and are often portrayed as aggressors or exploiters in society.

It is crucial to recognize that both genders can experience hardships,

and society must not conform to simplistic stereotypes.

Society’s Limited View of Men

Stereotypes are deeply ingrained in society’s consciousness, and this is especially evident when it comes to the portrayal of men.

Men are often seen as stoic, emotionally robust, and even aggressive. These stereotypes are problematic because they create an environment where it is difficult for men to express their vulnerabilities or seek help when needed. Society’s expectations for men to conform to traditional notions of masculinity can be stifling and detrimental to their well-being.

Men as Victims of Violence

One aspect of men’s victimization that is often overlooked is their vulnerability to violence. Men can be victims of various forms of violence, including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.

Domestic violence, in particular, affects both men and women, yet the prevailing narrative often portrays men solely as perpetrators and women as victims. This limited perspective not only fails to acknowledge the suffering of male victims but also discourages them from seeking help or reporting abuse.

Men’s Mental Health

The stigma surrounding men’s mental health is another critical issue. Men are less likely to seek help for mental health concerns due to the societal expectation that they should be strong and resilient.

Consequently, many men suffer silently, which can lead to severe mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Society’s failure to address men’s mental health issues reflects a fundamental disregard for their well-being.

Men as Victims in Custody Battles

In family and custody disputes, men often face bias in the legal system. There is a prevailing assumption that women are more suitable caregivers, which can result in fathers being denied custody rights or facing unequal treatment. Men who want to be actively involved in their children’s lives often have to overcome societal stereotypes and legal obstacles.

False Accusations tion of Guilt

Another timization is the particularly in cases of alleged sexual misconduct. While it accusations seriously survivors, it is equally sure due process guilt before evidence ed. False accusations devastating consequences person’s life, and immune to this vulnerability.

In the pursuit der equality and social it is essential to recognize men can also be gender-based discrimination and violence.

Society yond simplistic stereotypes portray men solely or exploiters and multifaceted nature issues.

Empathy, understanding should tended to all individuals, gardless of their gender. by addressing the es faced by both women can we create more equitable and society for all.

EDI T O R ’ S N O T E

EDI T O R iA L

• Sistemang Nakasanayan Isang Baluktot na Paniniwala

• Strength in Vulnerability

• Dalaygon nga Bahandi sa usa ka Adan

OPINIO N

• Between Love and Predjudice: Man to Man Relationship

• To Pay or Not to Pay

FE AT U R E

•• Fixing Broken Steps and Patching Holes

• Sailing Through Life by Building Boats

•• To Roll Up Sleeves

• The Greatest Enemy of

• The Greatest Enemy

• Victims of Abandonment • The Courage of his Heart

• Victims of Abandonmen • The Courage of his

0 3 0 8 1 2 1 7 2

2 4

Edlen Rj Sausa Jr.

ON T EN T

new s

•• Single Father’s Bittersweet Reality

• files Nograles Rep. Rizal House Bill No. 4888 to expand VAWC Coverage for Abused Men EDI T O RIA L B O A R D AND S TAF F jum p pa g e

3 8 4 2 4 4 4 6 C O VE R PA G E

Panin w a l a sistemang nakasan

i s ang Baluk to t na Panin w a l sistemang nakasan

i

s ang Baluk

to

t

na

Kay tagal na nating nakakulong sa paniniwalang dapat maging matapang, matatag, at hindi umiiyak ang isang lalaki. Kung gagawing panukat ang mga iyan ay magiging isa itong inhustisya, sapagkat magkaiba man ang mga lalaki at babae sa maraming aspeto, ang damdamin nila’y hindi kaiba. Ang lalaki ay tao ring nasasaktan, nakararanas ng problema, at nahihirapan din sa buhay.

Ang mga naka s anaya n nating mga paniniwala ang nagtutulak sa mga kanilang itago ang kanilang mga nararamdaman, kaya pinipilit na lang nilang maging masaya para walang masabi ang iba.

Pipilitin nilang maging matapang upang umayon sa nakagisnang katangian ng isang lalaki, sapagkat sa oras na mabigo sila ay agad silang tuturigang “bakla” at pagtatawanan lamang.

Dahil sa mga iyan ay nag-

bubunga ito ng sikolohikal na trauma sa mga kalalkihan, ang sikolohikal na trauma ay hindi lang nakatuon sa mga pangyayari du- lot ng gyera, mga kalamidad o aksidente mga pangyayaring nagdudulot o nag iiwan ng sugat sa isip at puso ng tao.

Mistula’y nagiging isang gyera ang nagaganap, na kung saan ang mga naglalaban ay sariling damdamin at ang lipunang kinabibilangan na syang pa

ayan:ayan:

ngunahing nagdudulot ng trauma. Ang lipunan na sanay pinag kukunan ng lakas ay siya pang humihila pababa, kasama ng mgaga taong walang magawa kundi hanapin kung san ka nagkamali.

Kung sino pang mga inaasahang magingpahinga sa oras ng pagod at sumbungan ng hinanakit ay siya pang nagpapalubog nang husto.

Bilang isang lalaki, maraming beses na akong nasagasaan ng mga baluktot ng paniniwalang ito. akoy hindi pinalad mag magkaroon ng masaya at kumpletong pamilya dumaan sa mga pagsubok at problema na di sana dinadanas ng musmos na bata, na sanay naglalaro pa, nagtatakbuhan sa kalsada ngunit pinoproblema na kung ano ang kakainin bukas at sa susunod na araw.

aking nararamdaman hindi ako umiiyak kapag marami ang tao dahil takot ako na mahusgahan, ito kase ang ating nakasanayan na kapag ang lalaki ay iiyak bakla na ating itatawag.

Masama ang ibinunga ng trauma sa aking sarili, kapag na dedepress ako kapag napupuno na ako, yung tipong pagod na pagod na?

Sinasaktan ko ang sarili ko minsan ay inuuntog ko ang ulo sa pader may mga bagay na itinatapon at nasisira ko, wala kase akong taong masusumbungan, wala akong pinagkakatiwalaan, sa halip na maka sakit ng ibang tao ang sarili ko nalang sinasaktan ko.

Maramin g beses kong tinago ang

Sa totoo lang nakakapagod din, yung tipong gusto mo na mawala pero may magulang ka pang dapat suklian ng kabutihan at iparamdam ang kaginhawaan, sa kanila ako humuhugot ng lakas.

Sa mga kalalakihan, di niyo na kailangan maranasan ang naranasan ko, di niyo na kailangan saktan ang sarili niyo, Hindi nakababawas ng pagkalalaki ang pagpapalabas ng emosyon, ni pag-iyak o pagdaramdam. Kailanma’y hindi magiging mali ang pagiging emosyonal ng isang lalaki, at panahon na upang ituwid ang maling paniniwalang nakasanayan ukol dito.

N G A BAHAN

D I SA USA K A A D A N

Isip nilalang sa kalibutan, nagatubang og nagkadaiyang mga pagsulay ang tanan. Apan, ngano man nga kon ang usa ka Adan ibutyag iyang kasubo ug iyang kahuyang, isipon kini nga hiyas nga dili angay buhaton sa usa ka lalaki?

Nasayod ang tanan sa nikaylap nga balita mahitungod sa pagpanglaparo sa aktor nga si Will Smith ngadto usab sa usa ka aktor nga si Chris Rock, sa entablado sa gipahigayon nga Oscars 2022. Nabuhat ang bayolente nga aksiyon tungod sa gibuhiang komedya ni Rock ngadto sa asawa ni Smith, kung kinsa nag-antos sa sakit nga Alopecia, usa ka sakit nga muresulta sa pagka-upaw sa usa ka tawo.

Ang maong panghitabo nagpakugang sa kadaghanan ilabi na kay nahitabo kini live. Pipila lang ka minuto ang nilabay ug gipiyestahan na kini sa mga netizens sa lain- laing social media sites, ilabi na sa Twitter nga nag-trend-

ing ang #ToxicMasculinity. Ang toxic masculinity kay ang tawag sa kinaiya o binuhat nga aksyon sa usa ka lalaki para mapakita ang iyang pagkalalaki, apan sa paagi nga negatibo ang epekto ngadto sa uban nga nakapalibot kaniya. Kung atoang isipon, ang panghitabo dili lang angay ibasol ngadto kang Smith, apan adunay sayop usab si Rock.

Ang komedya nga iyang gibuhian, dili kataw-anan ngadto sa mga nahitungdan. Nibuhi siya ug panultihon nga insensitibo ug dili angay nga komedyahan.

Sa bahin pud ni Smith, mamahimong madawat ang iyang reaksyon kay ang iyang asawa ang nahitungdan sa sakit. Apan ang nakasayop kay abtik pa sa manatad siya nilihok aron ipadayag ang iyang pag-disgusto sa gibuhi nga istorya ni Rock. Kung buot huna-hunaon ug kung nagpagung siya, daghan nga paagi niya kini mamahimong ibutyag, ug dili unta niya matagamtaman ang iyang pait nga sitwasyon karon ug moabot sa punto nga manamilit.

Tuod ang bisan unsa nga agresibong aksiyon dili makatarunganon, apan ikaw nga nahitungdan adunay katungod nga mubati ug kahiubos. Apan, dili angayan nga ihaklap nimo sa imong palad ang hukom, busa ang lalaki angayan nga ma-ehemplo sa kaisog, dili sa kagubot, kundi sa pagpugong sa emosyonal nga reaksyon aron

dili kini mahulog sa bayolente nga buhat.

Angayan nga handumon sa tanan nga dili permanente nga sakto ang pagka-abtik pa sa manatad.

Ang usa ka Adan nga taas ug pailog, mao ang angayan nga dalaygon. Hinaot kini nga panghitabo , magpabili n nga panig-ingna n nga dapat na nga manamilit ang tanan sa pagkupo t sa agresibo nga hukom.

Busa, angay

nga dawaton ang konsepto nga mas nindot sud-ungon ang komunidad nga ang mga nagapuyo niini mapaubsanon, ug dili ipaagi sa pisikalan nga buhat kung adunay gusto ipadagay nga punto. Dili kahuyang ang pagkamapailubon ug mapaubsanon, kundi bahandi kini ug kamatuoran nga angay sagubangon.

Be t ween Love and P re judice :

A Man-to-Man Rel ationship

Be t ween Love and P re judice : A Man-to-Man Rel ationship

OPINION BY JOHN LYNARD S REDOBLE

PHOTO BY JOHN LYNARD S. REDOBLE

Men are exclusively supposed to partner with women only. Such belief has long been established as the norm for relationships based on a biological standpoint which is also supported by certain cultures and religions. Thus, it is not an uncommon sight to see a man and a woman along the street or in the park, holding each other’s hand, sharing a laugh, and making memories as the sun goes down.

It is indeed a fulfilling feeling to share life with someone through eternity. But as the world inevitably revolves, so do the people. Modern-day relationships are changing from one dimension into a wide array of intersections, challenging long-standing conventions of relationshipping.

An example of this is observing a now broad spectrum of relationships like, for one, between man-to-man or, shortly, ”gay relationships.” It gives an eerie impression for those who have been strictly brought with heteronormative culture, where the roots of prejudice on these relationships stemmed from. As a consequence, some families may think of gayness as a condition, a psychological one at that.

But what is wrong with love beyond sex? With this question, what matters is validation.

Traditionally this kind of relationship is considered to be a plague, as it results in lifetime single blessedness, a culturally frowned upon situation because of childlessness. To understand it very well, an example is given. Say a man does not wish to marry a woman to avoid offspring. Because his culture commands him to, he ne- g le c t s his wish and goes on marrying a woman.

I f w e t r y t o d i g int o hi s s i t uation, a man refuses to marry a woman because, for one, his body does not desire a woman ’s . Yet, he c ho s e to be-

t ra y hims e l f fo r hi s

culture’s beliefs. This stereotype is an alarming path because it influences his relationship with others, the more of himself. It is, as such, oblivion of acceptance.

With all these homophobic paranoias, studies have shown regarding gay relationship intimacy that attachment security mediated the association of friends’ support and self-acceptance is a huge significant antidote.

We must recognize that a relationship with others is an extension of our relationship with ourselves, that all of us are longing for connections with those who can’t.

However, the role of the parent also plays crucial development in the relationship. It is important for the parent to trust them, to love them, and the bravest thing to do is to accept them.

In that way, they already feel that they are loved, no matter how painful the world is. When they finally come out, they bring the love that their parents give, and they radiate it to the world.

Yet, the w orl d i s

changing, and so do the people. The evidence of how man-to-man relationship is already in a vast field, and how it is already a norm. Although there are people that still protest homosexual relationships, this type of couple respectfully accepts that those stereotypes may disturb others’ values, instead of the objective circumstances.

It is very important to speak on their part, that they are capable of being respected regardless of how abstract the relationship is, and that they deserve to be loved and seen as equal to others.

Multitude of perspectives on how man-to-man relationships should be accepted— it should have. We still have to keep understanding and explore ourselves to a different dimension. We must learn how to keep our judgment in check, no matter how different they may seem.

In fact, we are all different, we just have to find someone we connect with, regardless of who and what they are. You can’t force love to deceive itself, likewise to the feeling of being accepted. In that way, we don’t have to walk through roadblocks of fear.

At the end of the day, it’s not about the homosexual couples walking around the street, holding each other’s hand, making laughter around the park, and making memories when the sunset goes down.

It is about how they live and deal with prejudices. Yet, they choose to love, they choose happiness, and every one of us should be. It is evident that love really conquers all— no matter who they are.

OPINION BY DEUSTCHE MARK RONDINA

PHOTO BY NORJEAN YOSORES

strength in vulnerability

Society has been very insistent in creating standards that have lingered for a long time, especially for men. When people are asked what a man should be, nearly everyone would have the same answers: strong, tough, and brave. Society has undeniably imposed such qualities, directly or indirectly, forcing men to adopt these into their personalities.

This imposition takes form in norms and even the media, ultimately manifesting in the form of a patriarchal system in society. But because of this same system, men are often disregarded when they open up, just because “they can take care of themselves.” As a result, they tend to bottle their emotions up to maintain the ideals of being a “man.”

same respondents think that society expects them to be emotionally strong. Thus, men are left with no choice but to fend for themselves because they’re expected to behave this way.

Numerous statistics support this idea, such as online surveys conducted by the Ipsos MORI research company in 2019. According to their survey, more than 75 percent of their male respondents describe themselves as manly or masculine, whereas 58 percent of these

Their struggles do not end there, though, as they have also been subject to society’s judging eyes today. They struggle with how to behave themselves in many settings, knowing that society has its eyes on them. They are in constant confusion because of past experiences, forcing them to exercise caution in their actions to avoid being either sued or publicly humiliated.

For instance, even the slightest physical contact from men with any woman can be outright labeled as creepy and inappropriate; even accidental ones can get them sued for harassment right away. Men rarely compliment other men because they’re thought to like the other guy and sometimes even get called “gay.”

But what’s far worse is when they cry or break down because when they do, they get called weak, soft, and sometimes even labeled as overreacting.

This list of broken conventions could stretch longer, as exemplified by the many experiences of men out there.

These standards set up by society have been limiting men for so long to what they can and cannot do. They become afraid, and ironically, they fear that becoming afraid will make them less of a man and more of a laughingstock.

But at the end of the day, men have emotions too. They are still human beings who value attention and care, and they are merely victims of patriarchy’s flawed system. Instead of forcing them to appear tough all of the time, society should allow them to be true to themselves and free.

Yes, they are men. But that doesn’t mean they have no right to be weak, appreciative, or soft anymore. They are still human, and they have all the rights in the world to be one, even if it means showing vulnerability.

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ociety emotion vulnerable norm victim

attention and

truggle gay man

tough

trong

TO PAY OR NOT TO

PAY

OPINION BY ANDREW CARL AMAD ILLUSTRATION BY MARC LUMAYNO

bes sociThey’re everything, including the ability to pay for anything, such as dates. But in here, the age-long question lies: is it really necessary for men to pay for dates?

There are several reasons that push men to pay for dates with their partner, a friend, or anyone they like. As dictated by the norms of society, men are expected take charge in most things. They believe that this shows how much of a gentleman they are, and will feel terrible if they fail to do so. They also do this to impress, because as they say, first impression lasts.

notentirely wrong if a womif she was the one invited. The point of a date is to help people know each other well and savor the moment together, not to know if a man has deep and full pockets. But when the ability to spend for the occasion becomes an issue at hand, both sides must be equally honest about it too.

At the end of the day, a date is meant to be enjoyed and create a pleasant atmosphere for people. What matters most during the moment is the experience of spending time with people close to one’s heart, regardless of who picks up the bill and reaches down to their pocket to pay for it.

Yet, the question still remains: responsibility of dates? When are society are put turns out that men are obliged at all. It is only a standards that have been knowing that it is part of culture that becomes unacceptable when broken. would also agree to that it is not really necessary for men to pay for dates.

FEATURE BY DEUSTCHE MARK RONDINA

PHOTO BY JOHN LYNARD REDOBLE

hShoes with holes or soles that start to peel off surely are painful to see, and to the foot eventually. They become inconvenient, uncomfortable, and worse, compromise the safety of your feet after some time. But in the hands of skilled shoe repairmen, these damages get fixed in less than a few hours.

Many people have tried entering this line of work, with most of them being small-scale and setting up along the busy streets. But among them all, Eduardo Tamparong stands out, having his unique story to tell. He shares the reasons why he is different in an interview by telling his tale, while imparting lessons he has learned along the way.

First steps in life

Eduardo, or Eddie for short, was born on June 26, 1955 in the province of Zamboanga del Norte, and stands in the middle among seven siblings. His childhood was just as normal as any other kid, until he contracted polio at the age of 3, resulting in the deformity of his right leg.

“Tulo ko katuig, three years ko… usa ko gihilantan, nagsakit ko,” he recalls.

He didn’t let his condition limit him and went on to continue living a normal life. Eddie chose to continue his studies by going to Iligan City, juggling school and work at the same time. He then completed his course on electronics afterwards.

After spending his early years and completing his education in rural Mindanao, he then moved to Badian, Cebu together with his older sister. He shared that he came to Badian just because his sister took with him with her, hoping to settle life on new soil.

“Gidala ko sa akong igsuon diri, nya nikuyog lang sad ko niya,” as he recollects.

Walking on life’s stairs

Eddie didn’t get to shoe repair right away, as he did other lines of work first, including carpentry. He started with small-time commissions, which gradually progressed to much bigger clients as he rendered highly satisfactory service to them.

“Silbi, ako ang foreman. Kuha-

on ra ka, tawo ray mukuha sa imo. Kay ang imo mang agi ilang gitan-aw,” he explains.

He didn’t stop with carpentry, as he also worked on electrical wirings and parts before, owing to the fact that he finished a course on electronics. Moreover, he also had experience in plumbing, which he learned through experience and careful observation.

Now at 66, Eddie is currently repairing shoes for a living, which he has been doing since 2011. As he remembers, he started with very low fees during his start-up days, with rates starting at only

mga silingan, naa man [magpa-ayo ug sapatos],” he recalls.

Standing on his own feet

Eddie is currently living with his live-in partner, along with three kids to which he stands as a stepfather for them. As the head of the family, he makes sure that he is able to provide the needs of every member, especially the kids.

“Kinahanglan gyud tang muhatag, mao man gyud na,” he explains. He does not also consider it as pressure, because he sees it as a responsibility rather than something that is forced. Eddie believes that it is a part of a man’s life, especially for him that has a family to support.

Eddie also shared that he would have preferred settling down with his own family earlier in his life. But although he considers himself a little late aspect, and lives right now.

“Paita

mga

Sailing Through Life By Building Boat

FEATURE BY DUETSCHE MARK RONDINA PHOTOS BY NORJEAN YOSORES

“It takes hands to build a house, but only hearts to build a home” is how one quote would put it. Hands can truly do only so much in building structures and houses, but one can never turn it into a home without pouring love and everything into it.

But what if instead of a house, it was a boat that was asked to be built? Would hands and hearts suffice to build one, knowing that it should be made to withstand the waves of the rough sea? In an interview, seasoned boat maker Manuel Dionaldo shares his experience, revealing the painstaking work that goes into making boats and how it changed his life for the better.

the People Power Revolution broke out in 1986, Manuel decided to come back to Cebu, given that the conditions were already alarming at the time.

CHANGE OF PLANS

Manuel, a resident of Moalboal, Cebu, has been making boats for more than 17 years, but did not initially get into boat making right away.

Prior to his current endeavor, he has experienced being a bartender, laborer, and a contractor.

His first job was bartending back in Olongapo, where he worked in a club for 9 years, as he reminisced. When

“Niuli nako pag katong People Power bitaw. Wa na may trak managan, kuratan man tag di ta kauli ani!” he said during the interview.

By the time he came back to Cebu, he decided to marry the love of his life and settle for a family. He then went on with a new line of work, which was laboring for rattan manufacturing.

During his time as a laborer, he would move out the already painted rattan products around, setting them out for drying.

He also carefully studied how the products were made as he worked, gradually learning the ways of rattan manufacturing along the way. He then gained confidence with the craft after learning the ways of the rattan, which prompted him to shift from laboring to contracting for the same products.

“Naningkamot gyud kong makat-on ko sa tanan nilang gibuhat sa usa ka buwan… namakyaw na ko,” he said.

He was making hefty sums of money by the time he contracted for rattan products. But as rattan products started to decline in popularity, Manuel decided to leave the industry and look for greener pastures.

It was hard at first, as he had to deal with boredom and stagnation first before he hopped to another endeavor: boat making. He thought of making boats as he observed that there were already many tourists in their place, many of which came for island hopping.

Manuel started making pump boats by himself using the knowledge and skills he learned from his father, who was a boat maker himself too. He also attended seminars that immersed him even more in the knowledge of boat making. From there, he grew the business and continued making more pump boats of various sizes, with some even reaching up to 65 feet in length.

FROM SCRATCH TO SEAWORTHY

Making boats is not an easy

feat, considering that these boats must be able to sustain abuse from the rough sea. Thus, when Manuel is commissioned by his clients to make boats for them, he makes sure to plan things out first. He

takes every factor into account, such as materials, manpower, and even the direction of the wind.

“Og di ka kahibaw sa pagtrabaho, taka lang kag hamag sigeg trabaho, ang abog pirteng katula. Kinanglan, ug magtrabaho ka… kung Amihan, naa gyud ka diri [opposite side] kay ang iyang abog, dili anha nimo padung,” he explained.

After planning and considering many factors, he then proceeds to start creating the boat itself. The boats that he makes are mostly classified into two types based on the materials used, wood and fiberglass. Each type calls for different techniques, but more or less share the same procedures, only largely differing in the materials used.

The boats are created part by part, starting from the base going to the outer walls, up to the roof, and to the katig or outriggers. The parts are then ga t h e r e d for assembly, going throug h pain t in g afterw ard s , with some final touches applied before it becomes ready for the sea.

SAILING THROUGH THE WAVES OF LIFE

Despite the apparent stability of his current endeavor, Manuel admits that he still experiences challenging times in his life, both as a boat maker and a father.

Manuel may already be a pro in making boats, but he still considers it a tedious job that requires focus and dedication. “Lisod gyud, dili madali,” is how he would put it into words.

Things also took a hard turn for him when the pandemic came, followed by the ravage of Typhoon Odette. Many businesses suffered significant losses because of these calamities, and Manuel’s boat making enterprise is no exception.

“Naundang gyud kay, kinsa may magpabuhat pagkahuman atong bagyo? Wala gyuy magpabuhat kay puro man lisod,” he said.

These problems also took a toll on his role as a father to five, as he needed to make ends meet for his family, even if it meant working twice as hard as he normally does. He acknowledged the fact that raising a family is indeed a struggle, especially at times when opportunities became scarce for him.

But in the face of all these adversities he faced, Manuel maintained a positive outlook on life and came through. He was able to help her three daughters finish college, while constantly providing the needs of his family through his grit and hardwork.

Manuel still keeps on making boats as of the moment, with the help of his son and some relatives. Although he may have already fulfilled most of his responsibilities as a father to his family, he still looks forward to keeping the business running and even passing it onto the next generation.

“Maong akong gi-master ning akong laki kay kaning tawo, duna may katapusan ug matiguwang ta. Unya ug mamatay ta, og naay magpatrabaho diri, wa nay musunod,” he asserted.

Success comes in waves -Guy Pearce “ “

“ anyone can be a hero on their own ”

as brawny individuals an d can protect the vulnerable.

These heroes are often seen as entities that possess supernatural powers with noble qualities. They are continuously perceived to triumph over risk to save others. Some additionally have superhuman strength that prevents catastrophes.

The definition to become such is so fictitious ensuing people to believe that they barely exist. It turns out there are real heroes anywhere and many only them. person they can be a hero on their own”. y job ordinary Pabuaya construction part-time for father

fail to recognize them. In some

children. His work is not a dream of many due to the fatigue it entails however for him, it has become part of his manliness.

To become a construction worker, one must possess physical strength, endurance, and dexterity. His task involves working under the sun, covered with sweat, and life-threatening tasks. He has experienced many constructions such as formworks, lifting steel bars, climbing scaffolding, and building materials on the ground.

In his many years of service, Mr.

ANG JO ILOY

FEATURE BY MARY ANGELI DEL MAR ILLUSTRATION BY JOSEPH RALGIE BANSILO

Pabuaya becomes a worker on large corporate projects like Robinsons Galleria. He also works in constructing establishments, and huge and small homes. It is his daily routine to do a massive amount of work, but it is undeniable that there are moments of exhaustion and anxiety despite being a man.

However, men are associated with masculinity, so they are expected to overcompensate in a specific manner to meet that norm. Regardless of the heat of the sun, his task must continue. Despite muscle pain, he has to work even when he needs to carry heavy loads. Also, the worries of working above the ground should be set aside because it is unlikely for men to be afraid.

Appreciating simple works

The kind of job that Mr. Pabuaya have for years remains to be labeled as ordinary. It is a painstaking task however is unnoticed by many. People appear to only admire the end-product of their work and overlooked the hard-working men.

But this didn’t hinder him from loving his job. He finds himself gratified in doing bodily works each day, “Nindot sad, kay kaning akong trabaho, magamit akong kusog, makalihok jud ko”, which he shared in an interview.

The contentment he sees in his job is one of the reasons why tired days appear to be normal. Doing the same extensive physical task each day has been a part of his regular life. Until the time came when his job would lead him to make a difference in the recent devastation of Typhoon Odette.

It was through that point were many properties, infrastructures and houses have been destroyed including his workplace and his home. The incident

caused the increasing demand for construction workers and carpenters.

Because of a disaster, his ordinary job becomes one of the needs uttered by people.

A job that makes a distinction

After the devastation of typhoon Odette, he was challenged to respond to people’s call for assistance while considering, that he has a workplace to rebuild and a home to repair. “Paghoman sa bagyo, ang akong gi-trabaho mura rasad ug nagbalik sa kinaunhan”, he shared. The incident someway led him to use his skill for the past years.

“Pag-abot nako, ang among balay, haligi nalang ang nabilin” he added.

His work has doubled but he was able to manage his obligation as a father, responsibility as a worker, and service to others. He was able to rebuild damages in his workplace in the morning and assist his colleagues. When he arrives from work, he repairs his home until the evening. His brothers and neighbors helped him in repairing his house. Moreover, he also does the same with people in need of his help without expecting in return.

Mr. Pabuaya earns just enough to support his children. He is aware how ordinary his job is however, it taught him how it becomes an aspect to numerous opportunities of serving others.

“Makaproud ug makalipay kay bisan sa ka yano sa akong trabaho nakatabang kos komunindad ug dili ko ikaulaw sa akong mga anak” he touchingly said.

His work will stay the same every day, it would require him to use his strength as a man. But it is not a problem to consider for he finds himself glad in the things he does. Mr. Pabuaya is a living testimony of the saying, “choose a

FEATURE job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life”. He will continue to love his job of building and repairing shelters.

THE GREATEST

of Man Enemy

STORY BY NATHALIE JEAN TEMPLADO

PHOTOS BY JOHN LYNARD REDOBLE

It was in December when he surrendered everything to a man he loved. He gave him everything, including his heart, and now he can barely live.

It was the darkest and hottest night of my December. I couldn’t think about anything else, and I had become so shameless and wild that I couldn’t recognize my own voice or even myself. The only thing that matters to me is that this man I’m with will love me much more than he could imagine. I pleased him in levels I never believed I could. The four walls of the room we hired for the night were filled with his moans, which grew louder every time I flicked my tongue on his pulsing shaft. I can sense it. He’s having more fun than I am. “Please, do me,’ I begged, and that was the last straw for me. And everything became blurry.

I had a fight with papa on May 10th, during the summer. I’ve always kept an eye on him since I’ve seen how irresponsible he is, a drunken man who is too proud of himself and is still unemployed. Because men are often conditioned to hold everything inside, I wasn’t going to let out my emotions, and I still am.

It was in December when he surrendered everything to a man he

loved. He gave him everything, including his heart, and now he can barely live.

“Pre, come on in!” I’d like you to meet my son! “ He remarked triumphantly to his kumpares, as if I were the most valuable trophy he had. As a symbol of respect, I kissed the hands of these unfamiliar guys in front of me, but I halted kissing the hand of this particular old man when he said,

he would but he

words abou t me, about how I savored the moment when he penetrated me from behind.

on e, ” I stoppe d in the middle of my sentence. When I saw the look on his old wrinkled face, I came to a halt. What’s the point of stating these things?

“Don’t you dare turn your back on me, Cjay! I am your biological father! “ Papa yelled as I grabbed for the handle on our front door. I didn’t notice he was following me because of the tears streaming from my eyes and the jumble of thoughts I was experiencing. He had abandoned his kumpares. I confronted him, enraged by his prior behavior.

“That’s it! That’s it, papa, you’re my father! And how can you let them make fun of me!?

How dare you laugh at my state! How dare you laugh, when you must be the one who should feel embarrassed for you are an unemployed worthless kind of a father!” I said straight to his face, pointing my finger at him.

“You must be the one who earns to provide for us all, not mama!” “You should be the

Why am I trying to pin the blame on him in order to calm my racing heart? ‘How dare me?

“I should be the one, what? Come on Cjay, tell me! Tell me what you are angry about. Enlighten me, for I am unaware that being an unemployed man makes me less of a parent!

Didn’t I give you everything? Didn’t I accept you the way you are? Didn’t I love you more than you expected?

Don’t you accept me, the way I wholeheartedly accept your true color? Tell me, for I am willing to listen to your rants and doubts. Tell me, for I won’t be mad, for you are my son. Explain to me why he spoke to you in that manner? Tell me about the video, why son, why?” He spoke it carefully, in between heavy breaths. I was taken aback, my hands trembling, and tears streamed down my cheeks.

This is the first time I’ve cried, because I used to believe that sobbing was a sign of weakness. And it was the first time my spirit left my body that I saw papa fall from his knees, gripping his chest and staring up at me, fall and sleep, and never wake up.

The creates a bustling street in different directions. are simply sitting drinking beer, and having in that store has with. I fix my gaze on him for a second before returning my It’s already 6:30 urgent matters to fix.

I parked theMasilang police went inside to interview the theft charge the interview was carefully to the exit when I heard a group of cops laughing so hard.

“Are How would a man said. “Perhaps you’re just hungry, man,” the other do you just want why you’re imagining things, last one mockingly commented.

hey, down, boy. I won’t harm you.” No my ly.” He’s looking at me now him does, Okay? and only ing. He didn’t respond. want Shan,” “And “I’m can Nathan if you want to.”

“No, assaulted by ened to kill spare me mercy!” pleaded in front of the cops.

“Go away, boy. You’re just disturbing us. Go back to your home before the night gets darker, or else you might get raped in the street. Understand?” another cop said teasingly.

Instead of forcing them to believe him, the boy ran away towards the exit. I quickly followed and looked for him everywhere, until I just saw him beside my car, squatting on the road while hugging his knees.

“Okay,” “Now, tell me what happened. I’ll listen.” took narrating him heart skipped a beat. I see myself in him. I remember the past, which I buried 15 years ago. I was also a victim of sexual assault. But the thing is, I concealed it from everyone. I assume the crowd will just laugh at me when they know it. The laws are blind and evil, just like my father before.

After a long pause of silence, we finally arrived at my condo. I wanted to help him, but I don’t know how. A crime without evidence is nothing. Laws need evidence.

“No! No, no, don’t touch me! Please, I’m begging you!” he screamed,

“Shan, you will stay here tonight. You can use my room over there,” I

grabbed my car keys and started driving, even though I didn’t know where to go. I tried to turn on the radio, hoping to hear news of Shan’s whereabouts. Until the news broke.

“There was a boy who jumped off the bridge across the Polo River in Barangay Masikat, municipality of Masilang, and was found dead. The boy’s name is Shan Alvarez. According to...” the report continued, but I didn’t want to listen.

him , and yet he just nodded in response. He lowered his head while heading to my room. After he told me everything, he remained taciturn and became unresponsive.

Morning comes, and I’m still sleepy. I didn’t have a peaceful night because I was worried about Shan. Hearing him cry last night also punched me. Despite feeling drowsy, I went to the kitchen to cook breakfast. When I finished setting the food on the table, I called Shan, but he didn’t respond. I called his name again but still got no response. I immediately looked in his room and found out that he wasn’t there. I saw a sticky note stuck in the cabinet.

“Thank you for helping me tonight, Kuya. Thank you for believing me when no one else does. Don’t worry about me. I will surely find my peace when you read this. Sorry,” was the inside note that Shan wrote for me. I was shocked, and my mind is in a state of utter confusion. Right after that, I quickly

I abruptly stopped the car.

“No! It can’t be. It’s impossible!”

I hastily drove to where the incident happened. When I arrived, I noticed that there were cops investigating the scene. I walked slowly towards the police officer, who had a familiar face.

“Do you recognize that boy?” I asked while pointing to Shan’s dead body, which was being loaded by an ambulance. “Do you believe him now that he was assaulted? ”I looked him straight in the eye. He fell silent, and his hands began to shake.

“Mocking someone’s struggles, I hope one day you can keep your mouth shut and let your ears speak the law.” I marked my words before turning away. I watched the rest of the officers bow as I passed them. Regrets were visible on their faces.

Shan’s funeral took place few

days after the incident. Many people were present to offer condolences to the bereaved family. As the burial ceremony is complete, this man is the only one left in the cemetery. He wept bitterly, asking forgiveness for his son’s death. This is the second time I’ve seen him after many years. The first was in the store when I was stuck in traffic.

“Shame on you!” I interrupted. He turned his back and looked at me in horror. “Do you remember me, dad?” I laughed sarcastically. “Everything you did to me, I thought you wouldn’t do it to Shan.” Tears slowly form in my eyes, but I’m trying to suppress them.

“Did you know how evil you are? You must be in jail right now. You killed your own son! How could you... “I cut off my words and burst into tears.

“Na-than, I’m sorry. It’s not my intention. I was drunk. Forgive me,” he reasoned.

That’s it. His old excuses. When he gets drunk, he cannot remember how evil he is. I don’t know if he had an illness, but I don’t care.

“Liar! Even if you surrender yourself to the police, I will never forgive you. I despise you for being a father to us. You’re a piece of shit!”

After giving him hurtful words, I walked away. While arriving at my condo, someone just reported to me that my father surrendered himself to the police. I’m not sure if the news makes me happy, but at the very least we got justice.

As I continue living in this cruel world, I wonder how many men are going through the same thing as me and Shan.

I wonder how many men the abandonment of laws mocking comments about tion. When men are sexually raped, people, justice, and voiceless.

In the eyes of are invisible. It seems like is a curse. And I’m living And as an attorney, I must save men from the invisibility didn’t have the courage fight and save my brother, time, I will break the chains.

“Therefore, I, Attorney than Alvarez, had proven fendant guilty of sexual by the male plaintiff who filed him. I rest my case! “

Finally, after many I have successfully defended men against sexual assault. And to my brother, Shan, may forgive me for being late. Now you can rest peace. I will continue battle for you. As your kuya, I make you a promise.

THE COURAGE OF HIS HEART

and overcome these trials in our lives with just the three of us. In the wake of the Pandemic, I was forced to quit my part-time job as a housekeeper. I also sold food at the school to add to my income, which allowed me to meet my financial obligations while also continuing my education.

STORY BY LEDEN FAITH DABATOS ILLUSTRATION BY PERCIVAL MABANTO JR

When I decided to take on the role of an elder son on my own, I thought about every scenario and uncertainty that could arise in my life. I was prepared for anything. What would happen if I was unable to find employment? If I became ill, what would be the consequences? My father and sister are both sick, so I’m worried about what would happen to us. Because no one is coming to help us, I’ve been waking up every night worrying about how I’m going to help my sister who is battling Leukemia as well as my father who has a disability if I contract the virus in the last couple of weeks.

Not only did this pandemic not rank among the worst-case scenarios I’d encountered, but I also had to deal with a lot of other difficulties. Because of the lockdown, our community comes to our aid and provides support for some of our necessities.

Additionally, my father’s salary is insufficient to meet our daily needs. While the emotional pain that endures within me will not change how isolating doing this alone is, it will increase the amount of work required to entertain

On the following day, I was not expecting to be faced with another problem, this time with numerous bills that we needed to pay, and I was concerned because I no longer had a job and we still required medication for my sick sister’s ongoing medical care. I really don’t know what to do anymore, and I really want to commit suicide as a result of this problem, but I also believe that I cannot abandon my father and sister in this situation and that I must be strong for them.

Because of her illness, my family’s financial situation deteriorated, and I was unable to transport her to the hospital because we lacked the funds to pay for her treatment. My world came crashing down.

‘’Kuya”, said voice, calling night. derstand.” need?” My was bright and positive. tired and Please let if this is to you.” streaming cheeks. The

my sister is struggling is heartbreaking, and I am powerless to help her because she has also given up the fight of her life.

“Does that sound like what you’re looking for, Mary?” You must be tired of fighting, don’t you think?” The question came to me as she sobbed in my arms:

“And I don’t want to be in pain any longer, so I want to rest peacefully. Will my dreams come true if I sleep forever?” As she spoke, I couldn’t help but cry. I couldn’t bear the thought of my sister giving up, and I couldn’t bear the thought of her being in this condition. It hurts me, even more, to see her constantly battling with her misery, so I’d like him to take some time off as well.

“Pa, do you mind if I hug you a little bit? While smiling at me and opening my arms, I asked him the question.

“Of course! That’s fine with me Leo, what exactly is the problem? “ - My father inquired his face a mixture of surprise and bemusement.

ability, and will be eternally grateful to have you my life. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us. “ With sincerity in my eyes, I said it to him.

Th e two of us hugged son, for recognizing my worth.”

I had not anticipated becoming a Social Media Influencer, where I would share inspirational messages, as a result of the Pandemic of 2009. It was completely unplanned because when Mary died, my world came crashing down around me and I was on the verge of death. However, I am thinking of Mary and she still needs me, so I got up and faced the challenge head-on.

I just and exfor evdone for many sacyou are be the hardNo job any salbeing works night to for us your dis-

The idea of recording a video and then telling the story of my life with lessons that I had learned from my experiences never occurred to me. I had no idea that my videos would garner more views and positive feedback, so I created another inspirational message that everyone could relate to. We began to overcome and rise again from that point on.

All I wanted to say is that Being a single father, and being a man is an underrated responsibility because some duties cannot be compensated with a salary or any other form of compensation.

Sing le Fathers’ Bittersweet Reality

NEWS BY DONALYN SABANAL

Everyone is thrilled when they learn you’re a parent. However, when your single status is revealed, individuals respond in a variety of ways. When it comes to single parenting, there are a unique set of issues, including the stigma, judgment, and prejudice that can interfere with a child’s growth.

The Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) described single fathers as those who were divorced, separated, widowed, single, never married, and did not live with a partner and had one or more biological or adopted children.

The majority of research on single parenthood focuses on single mothers. However, information on single fathers is critically limited. Single fathers are a growing group that has received little attention. Resources and connections, including support groups, forums, and community partnerships, are lacking for single fathers.

Several Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) have programs to assist single mothers, and society has a long way to go in embracing single fathers as major caregivers for their children.

Men are seen to be stronger and more capable than women, but it

doesn’t mean they aren’t facing challenges, particularly single parents. After all, most people still believe that men are incapable of parenting on their own. It may lead to unreasonably celebrating everything a single father does - it can grow tiring to see them revered for doing something as simple as grocery shopping with their children, as if it’s a huge feat.

Single men face the societal stigma of single parenting, which includes addressing questions about why they are parenting alone. They may also have a little knowledge on how to raise kids, and lack of support from their family and community. Additionally, most men are programmed to be ‘providers’ rather than ‘nurturers,’ and making the adjustment to embrace parenting fully might be difficult for some. For single fathers, balancing the roles of caretaker and earner is a daily uphill fight.

“Life as a single parent is pretty tough for me and my children,” said Joemy, a single father of three children. He was overwhelmed by the burden of feeling totally responsible for his children’s overall contentment and well-being, not merely everyday responsibilities like getting the kids to school on time or paying expenses.

“It’s difficult, but it’s not im-

possible to raise my children by myself for over a decade,” he added. The reality is, men like him are more than capable and competent they’re also devoted, attentive, and more than qualified.

Whether they became single fathers by choice or by circumstance, they are part of a community with its own set of problems and obligations.

They have challenges, but they also have the capacity to set the tone for their family by developing strong bonds with their children and depending on good parenting methods.

Additionally, in order for single fathers to become the men they should be and the men their children deserve, society must change its perspective of single fathers because single fathers are capable, competent, and, most importantly, they require assistance.

Gender stereotypes and social stigma towards single fathers must be addressed, at the same time, programs designed to assist this group of people should be organized by both the government and NGOs. Thus, to enhance better community and social support for single fathers, society must take single fatherhood more seriously. They should never be neglected because they are an important part of our society.

ANNA S H VET S

IEDLEN RJ SAUSA

n 2019, Rizal Rep. Nograles files House Bill No. 4888 or the Anti-Violence Against Partners and their Children (Anti-VAPC) bill to expand VAWC coverage and protect men from getting abused in the same way that VAWC protects women.

The House Bill No. 4888 was filed to expand the scope of the 2004 Anti-Violence Against Women and Their Children Act (VAWC) to include violence against same-sex partners and husbands in heterosexual relationships.

In the bill, the term “partner” includes “lesbian, gay, bisexal, queer, intersex, cisgender, and transgender partners” in addition to heterosexual relationships.

“I urge my colleagues to pass the Anti-Violence Against Partners and their Children bill so that we can help protect victims of domestic violence, who are increasing by the day because of the pandemic,” Rizal Rep. Nograles said.

The term “partner” includes “ lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer, intersex, cisgender, and transgender partners ”

NEWS BY

PHOTOS BY NORJEAN YOSORES

In a publication written by Manila Doctors Hospital’s Rafael R Castillo, the medical doctor quotes Emiliano Mahan, also known as Nano, an anti-domestic abuse advocate, as saying that the incidence of male abuse is on the rise and affects 12 to 15 out of every 100 couples in the country.

The following acts are designated as acts of violence against male, gay, lesbian, and transgender partners and their children in House Bill No. 4888: “Physical violence, sexual violence including rape, sexual harassment, forcing the partner to watch obscenity or porn,

forcing them to do indecent acts, prostituting their partner or child, psychological violence or acts that cause mental or emotional suffering in the partner, and economic abuse or acts that attempt to make the partner financially dependent on the other.”

Dr. Castillo continues on writing that the majority of males who are the victims of domestic abuse don’t even consider themselves as victims.

Papa died.

Humans are cruel. They hurt each other, say hurtful things behind each other’s backs, spread it, and ruin your life. When they realize you’re aware of their nonsense, they beg forgiveness as if everything can be restored.

“I’m sorry for your loss, Cjay”, in the cemetery, in front of Papa’s tomb, a man in a cap and a mask approached me. Pietro. If others can’t identify him, I can. I’ll never forget the man I used to genuinely love but ended up ruining my life.

“If you’re sorry, bring my papa back. Bring him back to me, Piet. I am the reason why he died, Piet, now, if you’re sorry, r es urre c t him. But, if you

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can’t…….take his place.” I said this while staring into his eyes as if I were hurling daggers at him.

Half of me died when Pietro uploaded the video, and now absorbing the fact that papa is no longer alive is killing me twice. Moving on is difficult for someone like myself who became famous as a result of my controversy. Especially, when the perpetrator was unexpected. I am a man, and I am also dignified. Being a man in a society is difficult; people seem to believe that we are strong in every way and deny the idea that we, like women, have feelings.

I want to die so that I can escape reality and bury my anguish with me. But is it certainly worth dying for?

“Hello?” I answered my phone with a hint of a question. Who’s this caller? Strange caller. I wonder.

“Dear?”, a strange unfamiliar voice enveloped my ears. Unfamiliar, but my heart knew who this was. Papa.“Papa!? Where on earth are you? “I asked with my eyes wide open. Silent, scared, and worried.

“I am fine papa, I was worried about you,” I confessed. I was nervously pacing back and forth in

my room, for I was afraid someone might hear me, us.

“I’ll be back home soon,” he said, and the line went...dead. I lost my grip and dropped my phone on my bed with half of my body on the floor.

I started wiping my face... wet...were these tears? The entire exchange had me in tears. My heart aches knowing that I’ll have to wait for his call again. To once again hear his voice and talk to him in a way I’ve never done before. Papa. How in the world did this happen to me? What about us? I’m sick of pretending that I didn’t regret what happened. I’m sick of disguising the fact that I’m not sorry to papa.

“Good day, mister Cjay!”

“It’s time to take your medicine,” a young woman said as she walked into my white-cornered room.

It was the last day of December, and I wanted to start again. I may not be able to resuscitate my father or my former life, but that will never stop me from reviving myself. The controversy that ruined me, doesn’t diminish my worth as a man. I’ll strive to resurrect myself, and maybe then I’ll be able to forgive myself, and then him.