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Salomon Kalou katie clements Y-3 in NYc Jermaine Jenas Volvo Ocean Race (We Are) Performance Tiger Woods James Cracknell Dwain Chambers A1GP

claire merry

back in fashion







MO-EDU PUBLISHING ANGLOMANIA LTD PO BOX 206, 77 BEAK STREET, SOHO, LONDON, W1F 9DB EDITOR IN CHIEF & ARTISTIC DIRECTOR mo galy sow DEPUTY EDITOR amy tipper-hale Sports Editor julien laurens FASHION COORDINATOR cleo davis BEAUTY COORDINATOR niedian biggs EDITORIAL TEAM amy tipper-hale, cleo davis, julien laurens SUB-EDITOR kia abdullah ART & DESIGN zuki turner PHOTOGRAPHY ishay botbol, camilla treharne, daymion mardel, emma tempest, francis ware, john davis, mac for fashion week, magnus ekstrĂ˜m, munetaka tokuyama, natalia skobeeva, puma active bodywear, stelianour sani CONTRIBUTORS andreas trop herring, agenda, ashanti omkar, caroline eden, charlotte jones, debbie sim, donald lawrence, emily dickson, emily rachel dean, frederik andersen, jada pollock, kah li, kazunoriueda, keiko hitotsuyama, keiko hiramoto, louisa michel, make up forever, marta stempniak, martine mbala, maude, michael wylie-harris, nick dines, nicola hamilton, nurah kushkov, olivia gagan, regina harris, rosie hamilton, rosie gamble, ryutaro, staci child, steven griffiths, tania doorn, tracy montigny, vibeke asboe, zarra celik, zoe hicks, zuki turner INTERN laura hall, martine mbala ADVERTISING frederic galligani tannaz kowssari PUBLICATION DIRECTOR alain lecour @ exportpress paris FINANCE AND BUSINESS OPERATIONS michael scott carter PRODUCTION MANAGER tom simpson ACCOUNTS robert shaffran INFO PRINT epc bristol

on the cover: CLAIRE MERRY photography: STELIANOUR SANI styling: CLEO DAVIS make-up: NIEDIAN BIGGS hair: RYUTARO swimsuit: VINTAGE

DISTRIBUTION domestic comag international; export press ISSN 1758-9827











The Italian Job

After emerging victorious from their battles with the Italians, English teams are now dominating the Champions League. Could it be an allby JULIEN LAURENS English final in Roma next month? In the 1969 movie of the same name, the wonderful Michael Caine managed to

Guus Hiddink has restored since his arrival in replacement of Luis Felipe Scolari is

steal four million dollars worth of gold in Turin thanks to three Mini Coopers. Today, it

the mental strength of the team. They never panicked and each time came back in

seems that it is an Italian victory against an English club that would be a real robbery.

the game to book their place in the next round thanks to Essien’s first goal on his

Indeed, the clubs from the Premier League have an amazing record against their

first start of the season, eight months after his crucial knee injury and Drogba for his

Italian opponents: only two defeats in the last 16 European cup encounters! They

fourth goal in the last five games.

have proved their supremacy over the previously dominant clubs from the Calcio

In contrast to United, Arsenal experienced a nerve-wracking night in Roma. The

in resounding style. The second week of March was no exception. Three English

Gunners were made to sweat in the Eternal city’s Stadio Olympico as, after a 1-1

clubs faced three Italians clubs and once again the results were emphatic. It ended

aggregate draw, the Premier League side defeated Roma 7-6 on penalties. Their

up with the English trio all in the next round of the competition, leaving not a single

one-goal advantage of the first leg was quickly cancelled by Juan’s opener. Arsene

Italian team in the last eight of the Champions League for the second year running.

Wenger’s players struggled to reach their best level as Roma dominated, pressed

The Serie A used to be the best league in the world. It is clearly not the case

high on the pitch and created the best chances. But Arsenal never gave up and


fought until the end to get to the penalty shootout. Eduardo and Vucinic failed from

Manchester United and Sir Alex Ferguson earned rare bragging rights over Jose

the spot, and then Tonetto blazed over the bar to send Arsenal through.

Mourinho as MU continued their quintuple quest with a 2-0 second-leg win over

The Gunners, Chelsea and Manchester United were joined in the last eight by

Inter Milan (2-0 on aggregate). Inter are top of the Italian league by seven points, but

Liverpool. The Reds crushed Real Madrid at Anfield (4-0) in an outstanding

not even the self-styled ‘special one’ could halt United’s cleansweep bid.

performance. In a remarkable first half, Real were torn to shreds by a breathtaking

Having already lifted the FIFA Club World Cup and the Carling Cup, while an FA Cup

attacking display led by Fernando Torres, their arch-enemy from his Atletico Madrid

semi-final place has been booked at the same time as a seven-point lead has been

days. Torres scored early on before Steven Gerrard fired home from the spot. And

carved in the Premier League, United look unstoppable this season.

had it not been for a magnificent display from Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas,

And Ferguson – who recorded only a second win in 14 attempts over Inter and

Liverpool would have had a hatful in that first 45 minutes alone.

former Chelsea boss Mourinho – was delighted to see that even the best Italian

For the second year in a row, the four English clubs have made it to the last eight

side for the last three years could do nothing to stop them. After a 0-0 draw at the

of the best club competition in the world confirming the dominance of the Premier

San Siro, goals from Vidic and Ronaldo at Old Trafford boosted MU’s dreams of

League. The clean sweep proves how far ahead of the rest the English league is and

becoming the first team to ever defend the Champions League title.

it would be no surprise to see another all-English final in Roma in May. Barcelona,

Chelsea suffered a little more to knock out Juventus (3-2 on aggregate). The Blues

Bayern Munich, Porto and Villarreal, the other four teams qualified for the next

won 1-0 at the Bridge in the first leg but found themselves trailing 1-0 down in the

round, will do anything they can to avoid it. But, deep down, they must be scared

first half and then 2-1 in the second half of the second leg. But the one thing that

of being engulfed by a tidal wave of English dominance.





Manchester United will face Everton in the FA Cup semi-final next month with Chelsea taking on the winners of the one remaining quarter-final between Arsenal and Hull. Both games will take place at Wembley, one on 18th April, the other on the 19th. The United-Everton tie will be a repeat of the 1995 final in which the Toffees recorded a shock 1-0 win thanks to a Paul Rideout goal. They have beaten United just once since that game 14 years ago but they will look for an upset. MU will hope to get through to the final to get even closer to the formidable quadruple they dream to achieve.

There won’t be a fourth win in the London Marathon for Paula Radcliffe. Not this year. The marathon world record-holder has been forced out of the London Marathon after breaking a toe in training. The 35-year-old got injured last month while altitude training in the USA. She had been hoping to build on her victory in the New York marathon in November but instead she will watch Germany’s Irina Mikitenko, Romanian Constantina Dita and Catherine Ndereba of Kenya competing to be crowned London marathon queen. Radcliffe’s focus will now turn to the World Championships, which are staged in Berlin in August.

TIGER CONTINUES HIS COMEBACK NADAL AND SPAIN CRUISING IN DAVIS CUP After an eight-month lay-off following reconstructive knee surgery, Tiger Woods resumed his career at the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship and WGC-CA Championship in Florida. The world number one was knocked out in the second round, a disappointing result by his standards. However, at only 33, it won’t be long before Tiger gets back to his winning ways. Inevitably, Tiger will be named as one of the favourites of the US Masters at Augusta, starting on 9th April. If he was to win a career 15th major only a few weeks after his comeback on the greens, it would be an amazing achievement.

Davis Cup holders Spain, led by Rafael Nadal, crushed Serbia (4-1) to progress to the quarter final of the competition. The Spaniards, favourite to retain their title, will now face at home Germany who defeated Austria in the quarter final. Czech Republic dominated France (3-2) and will meet Argentina. In the two others quarter finals, Croatia will host the USA and Russia will travel to Israel. Great Britain, without Andy Murray, was heavily beaten by Ukraine in Glasgow (4-1) and will have to win a relegation battle against Poland to avoid dropping to the 3E division of world tennis.





The battle of the sexes commences online this March, as Nike tally up the scores for a Men Vs Women Virtual Running Race. The campaign has been launched globally, with help from the likes of Eva Longoria Parker, Roger Federer, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Paula Radcliffe and Fernando Torres. Competitors need to sign up online at and spot themselves using Nike+ running shoes (which transmit the data of their run wirelessly on ipod equipment). The champion will be determined by winning two of the three running categories, and runners can stay motivated by setting goals, challenging friends and partners, or using the Nike+ Coach feature. Paula Radcliffe believes the advantages are with the women: “You might see the guys start off a bit faster and probably running at a quicker pace, but they’re fair weather runners. If the rain or snow comes in, the guys are going to bottle out!” Let the battle commence.



500 Fathoms ultimate sports watch for divers £poa BLANCPAIN As diver watches come, you can trust a Blancpain to take you to new depths. The new 500 Fathoms features a brushed titanium case measuring 48mm in diameter and performs swimmingly with a water-resistance of 1000 metres. And more, when made, it is specially placed inside its case at exactly 10’o’clock; an automatic decompression valve guarantees the security and the reliability of the watch, without requiring any handling on the part of the wearer.


Let this season’s statement colour red be the alert of dangerously amazing handbags. Quilt bag with gold chain and detail £1010 CHANEL




New York fashion week previewed the pastel colours and relaxed elegance of the autumn/winter 09 collection by Christopher Lemaire for Lacoste. Comfy creations designed for fashionable lounging included a deep-V jumpsuit, jogging suits, hooded parkas and jumper dresses. Accessorized with wooly scarves, leg warmers, knee high socks and geek chic glasses. Layering was key to the collection, keeping looks entirely monochromatic in winter white or powder blue, or mixing those shades with other colors such as yellow and/or orange. Lacoste, once again, was a sport of stylish sophistication.


The concept of was conceived on the streets of NYC but born to the British market. The online footwear etailer specialising in new customised and limited edition trainers from the world’s most sought after brands including favourites such as Adidas, Nike and Puma. Recently awarded Specialist Etailer of the Year at the Drapers Fashion Awards 2009. At, it is trendy footwear that gets their feet a tapping; “Simple things make us happy and that’s hanging out with friends, good music and decent sneakers!” Not just an online shop, caters for those wanting to stay one step ahead of the footwear field with forums and fasttrack information on custom kicks, branding and buying guides, and a database of friendly facts including sneaker heritage and specifications for each product. Their next-day delivery deal means your trainer fix is serviced within a speedy for the needy 24 hours.


MEDI-SOLE Mediterranean born Camper shoes celebrate their heritage with a summer range based on the philosophies of tranquility and serenity. The three icons of Majorcan footwear are Camaleon, I-Mar and Peu. Each shoe keeps the Camper brand design concepts, but differ in ease, flexibility, and come in a rainbow of colours.


Patent clutch £600 VERSACE




Anglomania gives the green light on top gear for drivers this month…

MAC’S POWER ARMADILLIO clothing has been designed to suit all riders and climates from Vespa enthusiasts to city commuters. Keep your thighs dry in this smart black Mac for men, £114 Every garment carries unique detailing

CRUSIE CONTROL Ensure that you can be reached at any time on your scooter or motorbike. The PARROT SK4000 is a bluetooth wireless hands-free kit designed for scooters with a social life as bustling as its specification features. Make and receive calls in complete safety on two wheels with voice recognition; just say the contact name and the SK4000 will dial. Other features include Volume adjustment of calls and music to suit your speed, a wireless remote control and an FM radio. Priced at £169.99.

ON YOUR NIKE Nike and Lance Armstrong have united forces to launch a global art exhibition ‘Stages’ to raise funds in the fight against cancer. These AIR MAX NIKE trainers are from the ‘Stages’ footwear collection ‘Greatest Hits’ £price TBC


PORSCHE STUFF PORSCHE DESIGN SPORT BY ADIDAS has produced some slick stuff this season for the Driving Range, including this Biker Jacket ÂŁ280 and the cockroach shape holdall below.



green with white piping mid top £406 LANVIN




















Monthly Kicks


by Cleo Davis



1. Blue patent slim hi top £395 DIET BUTCHER 2. Newport white mid £55 K-SWISS 3. Black patent slim hi top £395 DIET BUTCHER 4. Brea multi colour hi-top £70 GOLA 5. Escape unisex multi colour pump £50 GOLA 6. Fairbank black and brown £37 POINTER 7. Electric blue calfskin £505 DIOR HOMME 8. Multi colour canvas £28 KEDS 9. Leather black £37 POINTER 10. Low ‘CL’ men’s black/grey £55 NIKE DUNK 11. Lo-down HC £50 GRAVIS 12. Court force hi stripe women’s £64.99 NIKE 13. Porello full grain £235 CREATIVE RECREATION 14. Metallic silver, black and purple £54.99 PASTRY 15. Beige and white mid-tops £poa J.LINDEBERG 16. Women’s prestige hi-top £64.99 NIKE 17. Women’s vandal hi premium £63.60 NIKE 18. Pink canvas £28 KEDS 19. Low ‘CL’ men’s black/orange/red £55 NIKE DUNK 20. Scandal mid women’s premium white £68.50 NIKE AIR


Monochrome mix up leather bag ÂŁ1122 RAF SIMONS The Fred Flintstone of bowling bags, this monochrome manbag looks futuristically fantastic with metallic features of silver metal zips and studs.










T-BREAK by Cleo Davis

1. Cross-blocks in black and neon £25 QUICKSILVER 2. Ebony deer head tee £45 AON! 3. White button neck white/red tee £30 FIRETRAP 4. Crew neck purple tee £32 LYLE AND SCOTT 5. White ‘Are You Eco’ tee £25 QUICKSILVER 6. E-boy multi tee £30 GOLA 7. Black ‘Skin Deep’ tee £45 AON!











NY An inspirational installation at Pier 40 was the backdrop for the Y-3 Autumn/Winter 2009-10 show, on February 15th during New York Fashion Week. Approximately 1,000 guests experienced an artistic display of color, contrasted by Y-3’s signature collection of the collaborative efforts of adidas and Yohji Yamamoto. Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, Rufus Wainwright, Milla Jovovich, Veronica Webb, Kim Kardashian and adidas’ own Reggie Bush and Ian Thorpe attended the commendable presentation which included a soundtrack of classic Carol King. Set against a raw and industrial simplicity, the center of the show illuminated the inspiration for this season’s collection. The 5,000 square foot floor of the venue was transformed into a vibrant installation by artist MOMO. His use of paper and paint applications of colourful geometric shapes perfectly contradicted the mostly subdued, black and navy collection, while highlighting the hints of bright blue, bordeaux and hazard orange that were incorporated into the Y-3 range.



bodysuit: VINTAGE cropped leather jacket: GEMMA SLACK 26 HOGG metallic leggings: PAM


Claire Merry: Back In Fashion

The elegant female who’s as far away from WAG as a girl can get, has moved on from the split with Thierry Henry, started her own lucrative business and put her best foot forward in the world of fashionable females photos: STELIANOUR SANI words: AMY TIPPER-HALE

The term WAG has become an international phenomenon and it’s hit the psyche of young British teenagers the hardest. Channel 4 has aired countless documentaries on the young women whose life goal has been to marry a footballer and live the jet-set lifestyle offered from the pages of Vogue to the Daily Mirror. They search the spotlight in earnest, fuelling a media riot on those who are celebrities in the most derogative sense of the word. In that respect Claire Merry is the anti-WAG. The antithesis of the women that seek fame from dating footballers. She was married to Thierry Henry but never cashed in on her married name, and when they met she was already successful in her own right with a lucrative modelling career. She shunned the media spotlight and the detrimental day-glow fake tan to become a woman dedicated enough to get off the sun lounger and get a life. Claire Merry has started her own lingerie label and got back into business, showing that a single mother still has what it takes to break back into fashion. It seems dressing up and dressing down is where Claire has belonged all along. Despite still modelling, it’s the creative side that she really revels in: “I have been involved in the fashion industry since I was 16 so to design a range was a natural progression. I have always loved lingerie”. Following the dreams of most women, Claire’s wardrobe is a lesson of understated chic; more Carla Bruni than Alex Curran. “My designer icons are Yves Saint Laurent, Chanel for beautiful classic timeless pieces”. So, is it a new designer ensemble once a day? “The staple of my wardrobe is my YSL tuxedo jacket, which I have had for years and a classic Chanel handbag that I pinched off my mum. At the moment I cannot get enough of my Balmain jeans ­I live in them!” Her style is far removed from the over-groomed and static tributes to fashion: “I like to mix and match designer pieces with high street. Day to day I wear a lot of PPQ, Topshop and All Saints. I tend to spend more on handbags and shoes although, saying that, my favourite boots at the moment are a studded suede pair from Zara. Fashion should be fun and I like to experiment­ sometimes I get it wrong as does everybody...” ANGLOMANIA meets Claire Merry for a photo shoot, taking place at Home House in Portman Square. It’s a place of pretty rich British heritage, and somehow amidst the ageing wallpaper juxtaposed with a new bar designed by Zaha Hadid, this mix of old and new and the quiet grandeur of the building suits Claire. It’s subtle and elegant, and for someone who married a French sportsman, it’s clear where Claire has her roots. She has long

been a champion of British interests, including UK design: “All the big design houses look to recruit from the British fashion colleges. The final year shows are always full of amazing new talent and cutting edge ideas”. And London Fashion Week? “This season rocked. I felt it was the strongest LFW in years. I was so glad to see Pam Hogg back on the catwalk ­ all eyes were on the Brits this season.” Along with launching her lingerie, Claire has re-signed to Models 1. “I, like many models, took a break to have a child.” But Claire accepts that modelling hasn’t been an easy ride. “You need to be thick skinned and not take things to heart. Sometimes you just may not be what they are looking for, for that particular job ­it’s not a personal criticism.” She advises any girls aspiring to work in the fashion industry: “The way in which you present yourself is really important. For instance, if there is a shoot going on abroad for a week and there is a toss up between two girls, the team are far more likely to choose the girl they have a laugh with and will enjoy spending that time with. The shoot will probably finish between 6 and 7pm ­who wants to be stuck with a lemon for the rest of the evening?” Quite right. At the ANGLOMANIA shoot Claire was lively and fun, play acting and not taking herself too seriously, and after the day’s work was done she bought a round of drinks at the bar. It hasn’t all been fun and photo shoots for Claire. This past year has been fairly tough, having to juggle her own business and life as a single mother. “It has been a bit of an eye-opener exactly how much time and effort there is to launching a range of lingerie. It has been challenging to get it up and running but I¹m nearly there now. When the first collection is ready and in the stores it will have been worth it.” She seems a little shocked when asked about her beauty maintenance: “What beauty maintenance!” I’m seething with envy as I realise that her beauty is, annoyingly, perfectly natural. “I tend to cleanse with a baby wipe and products-wise I swear by Yon-Ka, and Palmers Cocoa Butter is the best body moisturiser. I cannot remember the last time I had a facial but when I do, I go to Linda Meredith in Beauchamp Place, Knightsbridge.” Claire embodies a far more ‘down-to-earth’ lifestyle than most in her position, and though the phrase is coined to describe every fashionista that doesn’t have a hissy fit when her still water is sparkly, there’s no surprise that the Croydon born and raised Ms Merry has her feet firmly planted on the ground. A lesson, perhaps for those who yearn for the WAG wealth and all its trappings: true success is when a woman gets out of the kitchen and does it all for herself.





photography: STELIANOUR SANI photographer’s assistant: ZOE HICKS post production: styling: CLEO DAVIS & DEBBIE SIM stylist assistant: LAURA HALL make-up: NIEDIAN BIGGS USING ARMANI MAKEUP & ZARRA CELIK USING ESSIE hair: RYUTARO USING PAUL MITCHELL with thanks to DEE MURREN and all at HOME HOUSE



LFW AUTUMN/WINTER 2009/10 Anglomania’s front row feedback words: Martine Mbala photos: Natalia Skobeeva



The Noir collection showed that sexiness, luxury, fashion and corporate work beautifully in harmony. The show saw super-strappy platforms (which were multi-buckled and fed through a gold buckle), black glitter ponchos with slick skinny trousers, leather mini dresses and sequin halter tops teamed with chunky knits. There was a rock ‘n’ roll edge to the Noir collection with particular attention to detailed necks with buttoned-up collars and scarves. Legs were layered in gaiters that boasted sky-high zips, worn over everything from harem pants, skinny trousers and diaphanous bandeau evening gowns. The dark colour palette continued with grey, green, copper and navy with lighter shades of aqua and jade.



Vivienne Westwood has gone back to the infamous St Trinian’s, looking to British cartoonist Ronald Searle for inspiration. Uniforms – from sports to school – were reincarnated the Westwood way; stripes diagonally and vertically working their way down blazers bunched in at the waist so that their lapels come forward. There were ‘Pink Panther’ moments with fedora hats teamed with trenches, billowing capes and blanket coats. A mix of wearable-with-an-edge, cool and signature kooky ensembles included reworked loafers that were fringed at the front with a super-curved instep while thigh-high Dick Whittington boots sexed up the style in Westwood class.



Marios Schwab presented a collection of sculpted, figureaccentuating dresses in vivid red and cyan prints with earthly inspirations of crystal fissures, climate change and the cracking of rocks. The collection saw body-con dresses in marble prints, encased in outer shells to emphasise curves, simple strapless styles with tulip-shaped skirts and waist belts. The show also saw slashes of iridescent cerulean silk on little black dresses, and protruding origami construction. The concept was short and sharp accentuated by pixelated and light-reflective prints. As a collaboration between Schwab and Ileana Makri, the jewellery consisted of cluster formed crystals as necklaces and cuffs.



Louise Goldin’s collection was slick and black with a reference to futuristic warriors. The space-age vibe mixed with sporty suggestions was illustrated by panelling, plating and armour additions. Skirts were overlaid with what looked to be another skirt, only this time deconstructed and overlaid – a mini over a maxi. With knitwear in shades of black; blue glistening jumper dresses and vests with knitted sleeves and weaves of silver sparkle.



Armand Basi’s collection saw the innovative construction of edgy tailored versions of the biker jacket, oversized coats and cropped jackets. Textures were aplenty in tweed, leather and sequins. Silhouettes were hugely voluminous, with high-waisted and drop-crotch trousers. Baggy jersey and knit jumpers mimicked balloon pants with huge batwing sleeves. These were perfectly juxtaposed with tight highwaisted pencil skirts. Eighties knitted mini dresses were punctured with eyelets and sporty jersey separates were ruched in all the right places. The outerwear coats were key to the collection. Textured, oversized and blown-up eighties detailing including corsetry and zip detailing. The colour palette remained simple with a clear focus on shape, and while the pants may be a little more than most can manage, Markus Lupfer executed a collection that suitably finds the balance between the familiar and something very new and cool.



King Salomon At only 23, Salomon Kalou is one of the most promising young players in the Premier League. ANGLOMANIA meets the man hailed as the next big thing in English football profile by Steven Griffiths interview by Julien Laurens photos by ISHAY BOTBOL photographer’s assistant: AGENDA styling: CLEO DAVIS, JADA POLLOCK and ZUKI TURNER grooming: NICOLA HAMILTON

Since Roman Abramovich bought Chelsea in 2003, Stamford Bridge has become home to some of world football’s most sought-after stars. Like a wealthy WAG on a shopping spree, it has been one boutique purchase after another for the Blues. Didier Drogba, Nicolas Anelka, Michael Ballack, Deco and a host of other fashionable names have arrived in west London with big reputations and price tags to match. These iconic figures come with a guarantee of quality. But every successful team has room for a player who has the talent and tenacity to emerge from the shadows and write their name in lights alongside the established heroes. For Manchester United it is Nemanja Vidic, for Arsenal, Emmanuel Adebayor or Kolo Touré. At Chelsea it is undoubtedly Salomon Kalou. Kalou has defied the odds to become a key figure at one of the world’s biggest clubs, and he’s still only 23. It helps that he learned how to stand out from a crowd way back in his childhood days in the Ivory Coast city of Oume. Born on August 5 1985, Kalou always had to fight for attention alongside two brothers and eight sisters. His older brother, Bonaventure Kalou, was the first to emerge from the family to make a name for himself by moving to France to play for Ligue 1 club Auxerre. Salomon was soon treading a similar path. He joined ASEC Abidjan in 2000 and, groomed by a renowned youth academy that had already produced Bonaventure, Didier Zokora and Aruna Dindane among others, Kalou won admirers with his speed and ball control. Sharing a room with another aspiring starlet by the name of Emmanuel Eboue, Kalou spent his spare time dreaming of following his brother to Europe. He didn’t have to wait long. Aged 18, Kalou was signed up by Dutch giants Feyenoord. Kalou played for Feyenoord’s sister club Excelsior Rotterdam for most of the 2003-04 season so the young winger could become accustomed to the intensity of European football. A glut of goals and assists for Excelsior made it clear that Kalou was a quick learner. He was recalled by Feyenoord for the following season and made an immediate impact on the Eredivise. Kalou won the Johan Cruyff award for the best young player in Holland in 2005 and went on to score 35 goals in 67 league appearances. Word of his talent spread to west London and in early 2006, Jose Mourinho, then Chelsea manager, made a trip to Rotterdam to watch Kalou in person.


With Mourinho keen to find a winger with craft and an eye for goal, Kalou was effectively auditioning for a transfer. He responded in style, scoring twice and setting up a further two goals. Mourinho was dazzled and agreed a deal to sign Kalou for £8 million in May 2006. It was a life-changing moment for Kalou. He arrived at Chelsea’s rural Cobham training ground with the enthusiasm of a tourist taking his first tour of a famous city. Camera in hand, Kalou gleefully took photographs of the players who had once been nothing more than glowing images on a television screen but were now his teammates. “The first time was so exciting that I took a camera with me because I wanted a picture of me with every one of my new team-mates,” he said. “This was the dream moment of my life and I did not want to wake up and find out that it was not real. Suddenly to find yourself on the pitch with Ballack and Drogba... Well, it was impossible not to feel like a timid young lad. The key thing to explain that overwhelming sentiment is that I never, even in my dreams, thought I’d some day be at this level and playing in this kind of company.” Kalou was never likely to be overawed for long. He made his debut in the Community Shield against Liverpool and was soon making his presence felt in English football. His first year in the big-time ended on the game’s grandest stage as he helped the Blues beat Manchester United in the first FA Cup final to be played at the rebuilt Wembley stadium. He continued to improve the following season and helped Chelsea finish second in the league and reach the Champions League final for the first time. It was Kalou, once again in the right place at the right time, who sent over the cross that Liverpool defender John Arne Riise turned into his own net in the semi-final at Anfield. He also scored a penalty during the final shoot-out against Manchester United. For once, his luck was out though as United held their nerve to win the trophy. That defeat signalled the end for Avram Grant who had replaced Mourinho earlier in the campaign. Since then, Luiz Felipe Scolari has come and gone and Guus Hiddink is now calling the shots but, through all the change, Kalou has been a constant in the Chelsea line-up. He is likely to remain so for years to come.

dotted shirt: PAUL SMITH bowtie: EDE & RAVENSCROFT glasses: STYLIST’S OWN


white and green polo: ADIDAS ORIGINALS grey trousers: PAUL SMITH red braces: AMERICAN APPAREL trainers: CONVERSE






dotted shirt: PAUL SMITH bowtie: EDE & RAVENSCROFT



The Interview Salomon Kalou never stops smiling. Whatever question you throw at him, his face keeps that big grin. It must come from his Ivory Coast roots. Sweet, Kalou is for sure but don’t let that fool you. His chilled attitude to life hides a fierce desire for success that burns within. ANGLOMANIA meets the Chelsea winger and finds a man that is deeply confident but also touchingly humble. What kind of impact has Guus Hiddink had on Chelsea so far? His arrival has boosted everybody. It has been so positive for us. The players who didn’t play under Scolari feel that they have a chance now and the ones who are used to playing are fighting to keep their place. Before, it was always the same team playing. There wasn’t much of a competition. Everybody wants to prove something because everybody wants to play. What are his qualities? He has brought a lot of rigour and tactical discipline that was not there under Scolari. With Hiddink, we are on the right path. It is a new start. Before, all the players were not equals. Now we are. Now to play, you have to show the manager that you deserve to. You play only if you deserve it so it is a fresh start for the coach and for the players. Can the squad feel the difference? His message is new and everybody is listening. We are more attentive than we were before. Now we have someone who is directing us and putting us right. We are going forward with him. Was there a lack of communication with Scolari? Yes. We were not going anywhere with him. I respect him but when you are not winning and not playing well, there is a lot of frustration which leads to a lack of communication. That’s what happened. We started well with good games and maybe we got carried away and let it go a bit. Then we couldn’t win anymore and now we are seven points behind MU. Take the big games against Arsenal, Liverpool and United – we couldn’t win them. Our quality was not a fault. It’s just that when two great teams play against each other, it is about organisation and we didn’t have that. You didn’t play much under Scolari... I was frustrated. It is hard to be on the bench especially after a good end of the season last year. But I always respected the manager’s choices and I worked harder to hope to play. Sometimes, you are a bit angry with the coach – it is normal. I hope that all the hard work I put in will pay with the new coach. How important is this season for you? It is massive. I need to step up a gear. I am not a prospect anymore; I need to confirm the good things people think of me. I need to play regularly and play

well to become a great player. I want to be included in the Chelsea players people are talking about. When someone thinks about Chelsea, I want them to think of Drogba, Terry, Lampard, Anelka and Kalou. This is the step forward I want to achieve. I don’t want to be seen as a good prospect anymore. I want to be a regular who makes Chelsea win games. I have more confidence now. I am not scared of anything in the game. You haven’t seen the best of me yet. It is still to come. In which areas do you need to improve? I need to make better choices sometimes. Like when to pass the ball or when to take on an opponent. I need to get that spot on. I need to see the game better too. I am working hard to get better. Would you like to stay at Chelsea? I am very happy there. I have 18 months left on my contract. I want to stay at the club and I would like to sign a new contract to stay longer. I see my long term future at Chelsea and I hope that it is the same challenge for the club. Is it true that you are the worse dancer in the team? At Chelsea, no, but I am the worst in the national team. With Ivory Coast, they are all amazing dancers! Me, I don’t really have the rhythm because I spent a lot of time in Holland when I was younger. At Chelsea though, there are worse dancers than me, trust me. Do you think an African nation can win the World Cup soon? Yes, of course. I think that the differences between European countries or South American countries and African Countries are starting to disappear from a football aspect. There is so much talent in Africa but we lack discipline. We are getting more and more experience though and the gap is getting smaller and we are getting there. Take Ivory Coast for example – we have a great team with a perfect mix of young and experienced players who all play in Europe and now we have a manager, Vahid Halilhodzic, who has brought us the discipline and rigour that we needed. We will achieve some great things. What can we find in your iPod? There is a bit of everything and the others are laughing at me because I have some country music, some rock and some reggae. I like a good mix but they are teasing me for it. Who was your idol when you were growing up? Thierry Henry. I have always liked him. I followed him from his Monaco years. I used to love watching him play. Unfortunately, I never got to play against him as he was injured when Chelsea played against Arsenal during the 2006-07 season – the two games. But he still gave me one of his shirts and signed it for me. I have framed it and hung it up at home.






In January his days in north London seemed numbered, but in the months that have passed Tottenham’s Jermaine Jenas has knuckled down, earning the respect of his coach and peers alike. He talks exclusively to ANGLOMANIA about life in the media eye, his hopes for the future, and his enduring World Cup dream. “I never saw myself in a sitting-behind-a-desk kind of job,” Jermaine Jenas reveals in an interview for ANGLOMANIA TV. “I need to be outdoors, involved in sport.” If the Nottingham-born midfielder talks like a natural athlete, born for sport, it’s because he is one. Jenas is one of those innately gifted footballers who make the game look easy. “You get to do what you love most, day in, day out,” he continues, expressing his appreciation of life as a footballer and the vast rewards it brings. “And to be able to take care of my family, it’s a very fortunate thing.” Lucky as he may feel, the reality is that a footballer is only truly happy when he’s in the team and playing well. In this respect, it has been a tough old season for Jenas. In January, with new coach Harry Redknapp at the helm at struggling Tottenham, replacing Spaniard Jose Ramos, rumours began to circulate that the 26-year-old was surplus to requirements. No less a figure than Inter Milan coach Jose Mourinho publically declared himself a fan, and a swap-move involving the Brazilian Adriano was touted. Jenas’s future at Spurs looked in huge doubt. For a long period, in Jenas’s own words, his head “wasn’t right”. Tottenham’s turbulent form had damaged his confidence and with the managerial upheaval came uncertainty about his own future. But Redknapp, faced with a thin and weak squad, knew he was in no position to discard of a player

of Jenas’s talents. The former Bournemouth, West Ham, Southampton and Portsmouth coach put into action his trademark arm-round-the-shoulder approach and Jenas remained at White Hart Lane to fight a relegation battle that, at time of writing, is still not quite won. As we approach the season’s home strait, Jenas finds himself a mainstay of the Spurs midfield and while he still divides opinion among the White Hart Lane faithful, his ability is unquestionable. Yet something appears to have held him back throughout his career. And it is when Jenas talks about life in the goldfish bowl of Premiership football, that he perhaps unwittingly reveals the frustrating elements of his personality that have prevented him from ever fulfilling his huge potential. “You don’t have an option – the higher you go in your career it’s just a part of your life,” he says. “You just have to deal with it when the cameras are about. The way I handle it is, I’m just myself and I feel comfortable, answer any questions, and that works well for me.” Off the pitch, Jenas exudes a Buddha-like level of contentment and relaxation – the problem is that it translates onto the pitch too. His loping, laissez-faire style is at odds with the assumed requirements of a Premiership midfielder, and the inevitable conclusion that many reach is that he just doesn’t ‘want it’ enough. And yet, when asked about his career ambitions, his ambition is palpable. “I just want to achieve more,” he insists. “Win more trophies, progress, be a better player, a better person, be the best that I can be so when I look back at my career and life I don’t have any regrets.” And his ultimate dream? “The World cup is the crème de la crème. It’s what you dream of when you’re kid,” he says, the eyes of one of the Premiership’s most enigmatic stars turning just a little bit starry.






1. Jermaine’s nicknames include ‘JJ’ and ‘da Jenius’ for his creative box-to-box play 2. His father Denis was a former semiprofessional footballer with Burton Albion 3. Jenas was Britain’s most expensive teenager having moved to Newcastle from Nottingham forest for 5 million pounds before Wayne Rooney burst onto the scene 4. One of his trademark tattoos was designed by Spur’s favourite tattoo artist Lal Hardy 5. He has a tattoo of a clock showing the time and date of the birth of his daughter… 6. …and a hibiscus flowers to remind him of his mother 7. One of his favourite books is The Damned United by David Pearce, which focuses on Brian Clough’s short spell managing Leeds United from a fictional perspective 8. His father was born with the surname ‘Genas’ but changed it as he wanted the initials ‘D.J.’ 9. Jermaine thinks his head is too small to suit hats 10. He made a cameo appearance in the 2005 film Goal! 47





Here Comes The Girl Katie Clements, Britain’s youngest A1GP Team Principal, is carving her own path in a male-dominated world. Nick Dines meets the ambitious pioneer When Katie Clements met with her careers advisor in her younger days, it’s a fairly safe bet that the high-octane world of motor racing didn’t cropup in conversation. You see, Clements doesn’t immediately strike you as your typical petrol-head. However, don’t be deceived by her blonde locks as Clements more than holds her own, calling the shots as A1GP Team Principal of Great Britain. In what’s usually considered a male-dominated arena, life sure has taken a massive change for the one time London stockbroker, ditching the heels for wheels and oil-scented overalls to become the only female in the series to occupy the prestigious position. Like many, Clements was immediately seduced by the unique sporting elements of A1GP, which pits nations against one another on a level playing field in a motor sport ‘World Cup’. With cars specifically designed for overtaking, pulsating nail-biting racing is the refreshing end product.


The brainchild of Sheikh Maktoum Hasher Maktoum Al Maktoum of Dubai, A1 is fully committed to truly competitive racing and has gone from strength to strength since its conception in 2004. Clements replaced her predecessor, John Surtees, prior to season three in May 2007 to become the youngest team leader in A1GP, having been with A1 since day one in a commercial capacity. With a strong committed team of around 18, the unpredictable sessions spent in the paddock aren’t always the pits. Instead, this adrenaline-filled environment is very much Clements’ comfort-zone. “I think it does take a certain type of person to carry out the role, however, it’s not intimidating. I have the support of the paddock but I don’t get a power trip.” With the spirited Team GBR made up with Formula One, Formula Three and British Touring Car experience, Clements’ engaging job has been made easier with a team boasting enviable longevity. “I think we’re incredibly lucky


as most of them have been with us since day one so the experience we have is second to none. They’ve also got typical British morale and humour.” With bikini-clad pit lane girls usually standing supermodel-like on the starting grid, Clements’ role is far from just looking pretty in the paddock, à la Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger. Her role often entails as much work during the off-season as during the seven-month campaign. “There’s so much preparation in terms of organising contracts for the drivers and looking over accounts and budgets. Following a race meeting, it’s a case of looking back over the race with the team manager and the engineers, see where we went wrong and assess where we can improve, then make sure we’re prepared for the next race.” Upon beginning her role, the self-confessed busybody appeared to possess the golden touch, winning her first race in charge at the Autódromo Hermanos Rodríguez circuit in Mexico. “Although it built up expectations, it was incredible and very much a case of tequilas all round. Winning races is by far the most enjoyable aspect of my job.” Results such as that brought well-deserved praise, however, the obvious flipside means the blame ultimately lay with the 30-year-old, taking full responsibility should matters stall. One of Clements’ lowest moments came this season when Team GBR started off on the back-foot by not featuring in the first race of the campaign as the cars weren’t actually available in time for the race. “Whatever happens, it’s me that’s going to have to answer. You do come across various hurdles, which you have to overcome. Motor racing always holds surprises and doesn’t always run smoothly as you can be at the front of the grid, yet in the race you can have engine failure or a crash that’s totally out of your hands.” Initially the long-term prospects for A1GP looked doubtful with the French and then the Germans dominating seasons one and two respectively. However, since then there’s been a more unpredictable closely matched contest. “Competition has increased dramatically and the top-ten are now very close, including the likes of Ireland, Switzerland, Portugal and the Netherlands.” Having finished the previous three seasons in a respectable third position, Clements had initially planned to finally penetrate the top two this season, however, sometimes what you desire and what becomes reality don’t often correlate. Currently situated in tenth position and despite a season of setbacks and mid-table mediocrity, Clements remains confident that Team GBR still pose a threat as a future contender. “I think we’re definitely up there in the top three but we’re obviously not ideally where we want to be right now. We go into every race to win and it’s disappointing when you finish and you’re not even in the points.” After a particularly frustrating season travelling to race circuits across the world, the beginning of May brings with it the British round, Brands Hatch, notoriously favourable to Team GBR. For Clements and her team, it’s a welcome return home for the season finale with an added incentive to reward their loyal British fan-base. “Brands Hatch is pretty special and is usually the best event. There’s that pressure on the home nation, however, when you’ve got a sea of fans with Union Jacks and everyone standing up upon hearing the national anthem, it’s brilliant.” Clements now wishes to maintain Team GBR’s strong form at Brands Hatch. “You obviously want to win every single race but you feel you also have to do it for the crowd. Brands Hatch is an awesome circuit to look at from both a racing and spectators’ perspective as you can see most of the track from the grandstands.” In a world where Formula 1 is the cream of motor sport, you’d expect a

certain amount of envy from their younger sibling, especially in light of an intriguing past couple of seasons, which has knocked football off the back pages of the newspapers. “F1 journalists and fans are always surprised when they come to an A1 event. I wouldn’t say it’s a case of F1 looking down on A1, Formula 1 is the pinnacle but we’re not in competition with it. I think F1 is beneficial to A1 as it gets more people excited about motor sport and then we give the motor sport fan the opportunity to watch motor sport all year round as our series runs during F1’s off-season.” It’s clear that the emergence and resulting domination of F1 sensation Lewis Hamilton has culminated in an influx of budding racing drivers, ready to hit the tarmac, which can only be good news for Clements and her team. “Everyone in the UK knows who Lewis Hamilton is and that’s, without a doubt, beneficial to Team GBR. We have the opportunity to test young drivers in A1 on Friday mornings before the race weekend. Unlike any series, you can bring in young drivers, give them an hour and then hopefully grow them into future racers. We’re very fortunate in the UK to have a lot of talented racers.” A1GP has come in for slight criticism, with many detractors believing changes are confusing its audience, something Clements fervently disagrees with. “I think the organisation is just trying to work out the best format. Look what Bernie Ecclestone did with F1; he changes things around whether it’s regarding budgets or the one engine policy so we’re not the only series changing things. When we think we’ve cracked it, we can then try and maintain some continuity.” One initiative employed that can most definitely be considered a masterstroke in the security of the series is the partnership with a certain brand that’s supplying engines for the A1 cars until 2014. “Everyone was ecstatic about getting Ferrari onboard and it’s been very beneficial for every team. The racing is spectacular and anyone who loves Ferrari has got an entire racing series that’s of interest. I don’t think looking back to August 2004 we’d ever be thinking that come season four, we’d have a deal with Ferrari. We’ve also got some fantastic tracks next season including the exciting street circuit Surfers Paradise in Australia. That will most probably be the flagship event next season, attracting an audience of up to 300,000 people.” With the likes of Sky Sports demonstrating further commitment having agreed to an extension to live coverage of the competition, A1GP is proving enticing for brand as well as fan. It’s news such as this that has motor racing fans revved-up. “I think we’re very well recognised amongst most motorsport fans. The racing is so exciting and it’s a very inclusive environment whether it’s gaining entrance to the paddock or autograph sessions with drivers. A race fan may have backed the likes of Coulthard, Button and Hamilton because they’re British, but then they were supporting three different teams. In A1 you’ve got a Team Great Britain to support, therefore appealing to those interested in national pride.” Approaching the latter stages of season four, A1GP appears to have come through the initial teething problems and the hunger remains for one of the most influential women in motor sport. “I wouldn’t say we’re fully established right now but we’re getting there. These things have always got to have time to evolve but it’s amazing how it’s grown. We started looking at season five last November and December time and we’ve shown we’re capable of putting this new car on the front row. It’s now a question of getting as many points as possible, making sure we’re up there come the end of this season.” A1GP Brands Hatch, Great Britain, 1-3 May 2009






10 THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT AN A1GP CAR 1. Each team uses an identical car model, gaining no technological advantage 2. All teams’ 4.5-litre V8 engines will be specifically designed and manufactured by Ferrari until 2014 3. The 600bhp machines run on Michelin tyres and are one of the fastest racing cars in motorsport 4. Michelin is an exclusive partner to A1GP and their tyres stem from F1 technologies, offering both optimum performance and safety 5. The lightweight composite chassis weighs in at around 695kg 6. The chassis is made of carbon fibre skins and an aluminium honeycomb core, based on the F1 Ferrari F2004 7. Cars possess a six-speed gearbox via a Magneti Marelli paddle-shift system 8. Each car is equipped with a unique PowerBoost system, providing short bursts of power, increasing overtaking opportunities 9. Front wheels measure in at 13” dia. X 12”, Rear at 13” dia. X 14” 10. Described as the ‘World Cup’ of motor sport, all cars are adorned with their respective national colours. 53



ANGLOMANIA meets the A1GP racers that would give The Stig a run for his money Danny Watts Great Britain What originally drew you to racing and how did you get started? My dad and godfather used to be the pit signallers for Jaguar at Le Mans and they were always going indoor karting for fun. When I was 12 they asked if I wanted to have a go. I said no because I thought it was too dangerous – I was really into football at the time – but I did have a go and was absolutely rubbish! I absolutely loved it and I got bitten by the bug. I got an outdoor kart and did a couple of years in British championships and lucky enough to get some sponsorship and moved into Formula First. What are the challenges of A1GP compared to any other championships you have competed in? I think the main thing I’ve noticed is that it is still down to the individual in the car to perform but because it’s a nations competition it feels like more of a team effort, which I really like. It’s an international championship and I feel lucky and privileged not only to be able to race for my nation but to travel the world a bit and see new countries and cities. Without this opportunity I probably wouldn’t have gone to Mainland China, Malaysia or Johannesburg. It’s a high standard of driving so it makes you raise your game and work hard all the time. How is the new A1GP Powered by Ferrari car? It’s really good. The paddle shift and brakes are good and it’s a well-balanced car on the whole. The engine seems to run trouble free and bottom line is that it’s a very fast car. How has your season gone so far and what are your hopes for remainder of the season? It’s been disappointing so far really. We missed first race due to a build delay on the new car so we’ve been forever playing catch up since that. We bounced back at China with two podiums but the following race in Malaysia was unfortunate. We had the pace, began the race on the front row, set the second fastest lap, but we had technical problems that meant we didn’t convert that to a decent result. Now we’re looking forward to the remaining races and the big one at Brands Hatch. I know Brands like the back of my hand - I raced there in Formula Renault and F3. It’s been a good circuit for me so I’m going there with confidence and high hopes. 54


Adam Carroll Ireland What originally drew you to racing and how did you get started? My parents are not from a motor racing background but basically, when I was three and a half I was riding a motorbike. From that age, anything with wheels and an engine, I was either on it, in it or trying to do something with it – usually crashing! My sister taught me how to drive a road car when she was 12 and I was eight and then I got a racing go-kart from Santa Claus when I was nine. Within an hour of driving it around the house I blew the engine. I took up racing after that in cadet go-karts and it just started to go really well for me. What are the challenges of A1GP compared to any other championships you have competed in? I’ve driven a Formula 1 car several times for testing and A1GP is completely different. The result you see from F1 is 400 million dollars a year spent on a racing car. Times are changing but the technology race in F1 is in a different league, it costs that amount of money to produce what you see. A1GP is different in that it is cost effective and extremely close as everyone has the same cars. Compared to other championships I’ve raced in, A1GP is very competitive and, in fact, even more so this year. A new rule was introduced so that the fastest guy from each session has to give his data to the rest of the teams. So any tricks you find are gone as soon as everyone has seen your data. That makes this so much tighter and increasingly so over the weekend. You have to be constantly on top of your game and put everything together.

Felipe Guimarães Brazil What are the challenges of A1GP compared to any other championships you have competed in? I’m only 17 years old and I have raced in Formula 3 in South America and Euroseries 3000 but A1GP is the first international series I’ve been involved in and it is very different. I first joined the team in March last year as a rookie in Mexico and for me it was like another world because it was just a different league to anything I’d done before. It’s really marked itself on the international motorsport scene now and I think it’s an important series. How has your season gone so far and what are your hopes for the remainder of the season? So far it hasn’t gone so well, although we did have a seventh place in Malaysia after a bad crash in the first race. We started far back and the team did a great job to fix the car so that was not a bad result. We’ve had the third fastest lap twice during the races so we have proved that we are fast. I just hope to get points consistently for the rest of the season. I am aiming for top five or six finishing positions in the remaining races.



Jeroen Bleekemoelen Netherlands What originally drew you to racing and how did you get started? My dad was a racing driver and I travelled a lot with him to the races. I really liked the sport and started racing in go-karts from when I was five. My dad built a go-kart for me and we started driving it. It was a lot of fun. As soon as I was 16, I started racing cars because that was where I really wanted to go. What are the challenges of A1GP compared to any other championships you have competed in? The cars are all equal, which makes it a lot of fun and also a big challenge as everyone has the same equipment. But the best thing about A1GP is that you race for your country. It is the only opportunity to do that in motorsport and makes it a very patriotic experience.

Adrian Zaugg South Africa How is the new A1GP Powered by Ferrari car? Compared to last season’s car, it is more consistent over a race distance, which is probably down to the Michelin tyres we’re running now. Also, the PowerBoost (which gives the cars an extra 60bhp when the button is pushed) is better this year. How has your season gone so far and what are your hopes for the remainder of the season? The season has been very difficult for us, trying to get in tune with the new car. We haven’t been able to repeat our performances from last season. Every area of a whole team needs to fit together to have success in such a competitive series. There aren’t many races left and there is no testing in between so it won’t be possible to catch up to the leaders. But we never give up and are hopeful of a strong result before the end of the season.



Loic Duval France What originally drew you to racing and how did you get started? I had a friend of mine who was a go-kart driver and I went with him once to try it. I loved it and my father offered to buy me a kart for a Christmas gift. We started to race in the regional championships, then moved onto national series and we went right up to international level. After that we continued racing as the French Federation sponsored me to enter Formula Campus. How is the new A1GP Powered by Ferrari car? The car is good. The aerodynamics are great and it is a closer racing car to F1 as we have carbon brakes and the Ferrari technology. It’s powerful but I wish it had even more power!

Filipe Albuquerque Portugal What are the challenges of A1GP compared to any other championships you have competed in? The biggest difference is that we are racing for our country, so it’s not Filipe Albuquerque that won but it is Portugal that won! How has your season gone so far and what are your hopes for the remainder of the season? So far the championship has been very good and I’ve been on the podium at every meeting. Unfortunately, Ireland and Switzerland are also very strong. I think in the last two events we were a bit unlucky because we had problems with the clutch in Taupo and with engine power in South Africa. Without this we could probably be leading the championship. But I still think we are in a good position to go for the title and that is my goal.



Hear Me Roar As Tiger Woods returns to the green, he’ll be hitting faster, stronger and harder than ever before, predicts Nick Dines



Sam Cooke famously sang ‘It’s been a long time coming but I know a change gonna come’. Well, the golfing world can certainly relate to that following the long-awaited and welcome return of Tiger Woods. Touted as one of the most anticipated returns in sport’s history, Woods gave a promising performance at the WGC-Accenture Match Play event in Dove Mountain, Arizona, demonstrating glimpses of what golf’s been missing. This followed his arduous comeback having suffered both severe double stress fracture of his left tibia and also anterior cruciate damage on his left knee last June. Woods’ late father, Earl, famously stated in a 1996 Sports Illustrated article, The Chosen One, that “Tiger will do more than any other man in history to change the course of humanity. He is the chosen one. He’ll have the power to impact nations. The world is just getting a taste of his power.” Now, over a decade on, I wonder in Woods senior’s wildest dreams whether he ever imagined how true this statement would turn out to be. With his comeback featured in the likes of Business Week, you begin to understand that Woods is on a completely different fairway when it comes to sponsorship and advertising. The business publication depicted the return with “The advertising star with stripes is back”. Having turned professional in 1995, the phenomenal Woods has been at the top of his game for well over a decade now and 2009 could prove to be the year of the tiger once again. Golf Digest lists Woods as earning almost $769,500,000 between 1996 and 2007. They predict Woods will next year become the first athlete to surpass the mindblowing one billion dollar mark. However, February not only brought a rejuvenated Woods back into the fray in Arizona, but also the arrival of another cub to his family pride. Woods became a father to baby boy Charlie, creating his own foursome including daughter Sam and wife Elin. In the meantime, golf has endured a sense of consolidation, yearning for an injection of adrenaline and entertainment. Rivals among the likes of Padraig Harrington, Ernie Els and Vijay Singh attempted to capitalise on the ‘Messiah’s’ eight month absence, however, most suffered stage fright, failing to escape the lingering shadow still cast by their nemesis’s overwhelming presence. When the PGA ‘broke the glass in case of emergency’, there was no immediate resolution, no saviour. Success stories such as the emergence of 19-year-old Northern Ireland talent Rory McIlroy have been a rarity; a scarce beacon of fresh hope for golf fanatics. However, there appears no understudy fit to replace Woods. The PGA Tour events of late have been a little like attending a wedding without the bride being present. Not since the days of Ali and maybe Michael Jordan has an individual grabbed a sport by its collar and brought it to a whole new casual audience outside its hardcore fan base. Woods’ clear monopoly over the game is there for all to see. When you have a football at your feet, you’re the sultry skills of Ronaldo. When you’re raging around a court before hitting an unstoppable winner down the line, you’re the bullish Nadal. But most of all, when you’re putting on the green from 12 yards, you’re most certainly Tiger, the perfectionist. Whilst match play rivals will shudder at the very mention of Woods’ return, the vast majority will offer a friendly ‘putt’ on the back, relieved that His Majesty has returned as they will yearn to test themselves

against the best. His presence alone improves their game and like a National Heritage project, Woods’ preservation has been paramount. At this time of year with Easter approaching, Woods knows a little something about sacrifice. Here’s a gutsy athlete that put his body on the line to secure the US Open, his 14th major championship. At that time he was pretty much running on empty, which makes his gruelling epic achievement all the more astonishing. Woods will be chomping at the bit with extra verve and vigour and it will make a pleasant change for him to swing clubs and not feel the movement of bones. It may be a case of a new knee, however, here’s hoping that it’s the same old Tiger. Woods wasn’t the only one wincing in pain when he announced his plan for a little R&R. The PGA Tour suffered a crucial TV viewing figure decline during the 33-year-old’s absence, especially during the Ryder Cup and the two majors Woods missed last year, The British Open in July and the PGA Championship last August. Tiger is a ‘piggy bank’ shifting merchandise and elevating ratings, vital in today’s current financial climate. Like Christmas or a birthday, they’ve been crossing off the days until his return. Facts and figures can often speak volumes and television network CBS reported a substantial 48% drop in ratings for coverage of last summer’s AT&T National, an event Woods usually participates in. However, for Woods, it wasn’t a case of out of sight, out of mind. I for one was mighty relieved to learn of his return as the closest we’ve got to seeing Woods had been those damn Gillette ‘Champions campaign’ adverts involving the Oscar and Golden Globe winning performances of the three musketeers Woods, Thierry Henry and Roger Federer. Sports brand Nike owes much of its global domination to the ripple effect of cash cow Woods, as its golf apparel Nike Golf is estimated at a staggering $600 million in sales. Described by many as the world’s most marketable athlete, the majority of his endless list of corporate sponsors have already capitalised on the interest and opportunities gained from the buzz and hype surrounding the ‘return of Tiger’. His impact is reckoned to be so enduring that an absence from the game has failed to make even a dent in the business figures of Nike Golf. How many sportsmen can maintain their stranglehold as World Number One despite missing several months competing? His current stint on the lofty perch is now approaching an astonishing 200 consecutive weeks. The world has had a chance to foresee the game of golf without its blue-chip player, and this scenario received a resounding Caesar-like thumbs down. ‘The Great One’ can single-handedly make or break professional golf as a business. Tiger’s timing is as always impeccable as The Masters arrives this month. Now allegedly hitting stronger, harder and longer, Woods is tailor-made for yet another famous green jacket, having come so close to eventual victor Trevor Immelman in last year’s finale. When Tiger tees off, the world takes note and Augusta will provide the perfect litmus test to demonstrate the commercial capability Woods possesses. Fans that were once firmly on the fence to attend will now be sure to make the pilgrimage to see golf’s circus act. Roll up, roll up! The Tiger’s in town. The Masters, Augusta National, Georgia, USA – April 9th-12th 2009



Tainted Talent?

From sprinting superstar to shamed sinner, Dwain Chambers speaks to Nick Dines about defeating demons, learning lessons and finding forgiveness Six years on from testing positive for the banned steroid THG, the ostracised Dwain Chambers has revealed all in an explosively brutal autobiography, splitting sporting opinion wide open. Whether you love him or despise him, the once sinful but now cleansed and repentant sprinter is in scintillating form, having annihilated the field in the recent European Indoor Championships in Turin. Ok, the impressive gold wasn’t of the Olympic kind and GB’s fastest man still remains largely frozen out of the sport due to his past misdemeanours, yet Chambers’ relaxed smile and swagger has returned and the 31-year-old’s yearning to dethrone that lightning bolt Usain. Firstly, following your record-breaking 60m success in Turin, how great was it to be back successfully competing on the world stage? It was enjoyable and it was just great to get out there and participate, socialising in a team environment where the athletes were all very receptive. That’s been very unfamiliar to me because it’s been such a long time so it was brilliant to be


back in that atmosphere again. Genuine athletics fans have come up to me, showing their support to what they feel has been a hard struggle, which I really appreciate. How tough was it to remain focused and put aside the media frenzy over your controversial book and its frank revelations on the corruption in athletics? I’ve been dealing with pressure for a long time now. I knew it was going to be a struggle and it was very difficult but I still came out victorious. Dealing with situations such as that has further improved my mindset on how to deal with pressure. What I’ve written has no negative reflection upon what’s happened to date. It’s all about what happened during my time in America. I decided to put it in black and white, which rejuvenated my body and enabled me to get all that frustration and tension off my chest. It used to be a case of just thinking about loading up but now that’s not my motive.


You’re being allowed to compete in a Golden League meeting in Germany in June and the lucrative Diamond League is on the horizon. Are you hopeful of further opportunities? It’s what I’ve been striving to achieve so I’m very grateful for the meet in Berlin. It’s a lifeline and it’s great to be accepted back. All I want to do is get back out there and compete with the best guys in the world. Ultimately it’s those head-to-head clashes with the likes of Usain Bolt, Tyson Gay and Asafa Powell that people want to see so I’m going to give it to them. I’ve been waiting for a long time and I’ve definitely learnt the art of patience. I’ll email as many event promoters as possible, but doors close and others open which is shown with this Berlin meet invitation so I’ll just have to make sure I make the most of such opportunities. You’ve stated your ambition to ‘try to win back the hearts of the athletes’. How important is it to be respected by your fellow competitors? You don’t want to be on the starting line with somebody that hates you. Who wants to be hated? All the athletes that participated in Turin were fantastic and they didn’t have a bad word to say to me. They all commended me on how strong and determined I am to return and it’s inspiring for them because it helps pick them up. It’s a difficult position that I’m actually in because I’ve been portrayed as the bad boy of athletics and that’s just not the case. What happened, happened six years ago and we’re still talking about it so let’s put it behind us. You remain in contact with Victor Conte, the infamous nutritionist at the centre of the BALCO doping scandal. Surely this is detrimental to your quest for forgiveness? I don’t see what the problem is. The media killed me for the past six years yet I still speak to them. It’s a working relationship. I don’t have a problem with Victor and Victor doesn’t have a problem with me. I’m a forgiving person and am aware that by making that mistake, we are now in a better position to correct it and our relationship is based on educating UK Sport and relevant governing bodies to help tidy up the sport, which we said we’ll promise to do. Athletics struggles to gain the back-page headlines. Do you think the anger aimed towards you is because you’ve brought the sport tarnished publicity? I don’t ask for these headlines. The headlines follow me. I try to come across as positive as possible but that’s not good enough in most people’s eyes so I don’t know what else to do. People aren’t paying their TV licenses to just hear about me. I don’t want to hear about me any more – I just want to get out there and compete. The sport doesn’t need to be dragged through this BALCO saga for another three years – it needs to stop. It has to end because I want to be in the sport for another three years and I don’t want to be talking about this any longer. It’s frustrating because you’ve got to keep on answering the same old questions over again. Criticism just ricochets off me now. Do you wish there had been more clarity following your two-year worldwide ban? The situation should have been dealt with better in the way I was briefed. The media just ran with the story and it got out of control. We can prevent this from happening so I educate those athletes that come up to me and ask questions so they’re better prepared than I was. Is the dread of being busted worse than the actual exposure? It all went pear shaped from the moment I made the decision to go to America. I’m not blaming anybody for that. A person in my position, at that level, should never have gone. My world was falling apart and I just couldn’t tell anybody – it was difficult. I was getting injured and forgetting to do things and following the incidents at the airport, I should have seen the signs.

Do you wish the truth about the cocktail of performance-enhancing drugs had come out earlier during that critical 18-month period, before you got carried away? I wish it never happened in the first place. I wish that every day. We would all like a crystal ball that we could look at. I’ve got three years to have fun and that’s what I’m going to do, but there’s more to life than competing and there are other things to pursue. There’s nothing like a reformed sinner. Do you see yourself having a role in tutoring youngsters of the future? It’s something I’m in the process of doing now as I speak at the Oxford Student Union, which I enjoy immensely. It’s in their best interest to do it, as it’s only a matter of time before somebody else comes out with a positive test and if we can prevent that from happening, let me go out and do that. You describe the pain of missing out on Beijing as ‘a knife through the heart’. Could you put aside your disappointment and enjoy Usain Bolt’s stunning 9.69sec world record 100m performance? Of course I wish I was there but it was exciting to watch from an armchair spectator’s point of view. It was tough because I knew that the second and third places were up for grabs and I could have done something. You state that ‘Bolt is on another planet… miles clear of the rest of us’. How are you going to conquer Project Bolt? He was on another planet in Beijing, but I’ve had time to sit down and analyse a way that’s going to put me closer to him. There are particular training drills that we put together that force you to run out of the norm for your body. I have to put myself in those positions in order to get those results, hence why I’m running so much better. Don’t worry about others, focus on yourself – is that your best bit of advice for other athletes? That’s where my problems started. I was worried about other people and when you do that, you want what they want. It’s important to be aware what others are doing but use that knowledge to better yourself. You don’t need to cut corners to achieve success. Do you feel that new UK Athletics chief Charles van Commenee wants to demonstrate from an early stage that he’s not frightened of making big decisions? Charles and I have a very good understanding. We’ve had a number of meetings and we spoke after Turin, but he’s been very supportive and feels that the decision to exclude me from the World Championships relay team is the right decision because of the sheer fact that I can’t compete at 2012. It’s what’s best for the team camaraderie, as they need to work as a unit all the time. Finally, you’ve obviously served your time and remain adamant in your quest to overturn the BOA ban. What would it mean to you to race for Team GB in London 2012? It would mean everything – of course it would. The Olympic Games is the highest profile event of any athlete’s career and all athletes want to be there. The rules have been in place since I failed in 2003 so I’ve missed the Olympics in 2004, 2008 and maybe 2012. I know my chances of getting there are very slim because of the BOA rule and I’ve come to terms with that so I’m just going to enjoy my athletics leading up to 2012. I just want to remain optimistic and get ready for the World Championships in Berlin this summer.

Race Against Me: My Story by Dwain Chambers is available now (Libros International) £18.99



Hard Nut to

Cracknell Skiing for 16 hours a day in -50 degrees, defying injury and possible death every step of the way, Olympic Gold medallist James Cracknell tells Nick Dines about his once-in-alifetime trip to the South Pole


SPORT In January this year, British double Olympic Gold medallist James Cracknell, TV adventurer Ben Fogle and doctor Ed Coats, aka Team QinitiQ, participated in the gruelling Amundsen Omega3 South Pole Race; a 450-mile race across the hostile white canvas terrain of Antarctica. Replicating Captain Scott’s ill-fated mammoth race against Roald Amundsen nearly 100 years ago, Cracknell, the 36-year-old retired rower, undertook one of the most dangerous endurance events in the world, proving you can take the man out of competing but you can’t take the competing out of the man. Firstly, how did competing in the historic Amundsen Omega3 South Pole Race come about? Having ridden across the Atlantic with Ben (Fogle), we said if we’d do another trip we would chat to each other first. I asked him if he was up for doing it and he said, “Yeah, game on”. Obviously the logistics of going to Antarctica are pretty hefty and we didn’t have the expertise to go totally solo so we spent 18 months getting ready for it. This was no vacation in the Alps. Was there ever any hesitation in deciding to compete? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have doubts about whether I was being too selfish. We had a couple of sessions in a cold chamber at -40 degrees, spending 24-hours in there – our first exposure to those temperatures. We were then given hypothermia by having to immerse ourselves in cold water, teaching us to recognise the signs and what your body goes through. After those sessions I thought, “Why are we going again?” In recent years you’ve taken on the Atlantic Rowing Race and the Cross-Continent Challenge. How did you go about training for this expedition? Rowing across the Atlantic, we used to do two hours on, two hours off, so the other person would row at their own pace when you were asleep. With this trip we were skiing for 16 hours a day and we all had to be as fit as each other as we had to ski at the same pace. We practiced on a glacier in Switzerland at night, which was great. Being awake when your body wants to sleep is tough to get used to so I used to go running at 2am, which is the last thing you want to do, but it prepares you. Did you find this lengthy preparation useful when faced with the harsh realities of the expedition and its -50 degrees temperatures? If you’re not prepared, it’s a dangerous place to go and luckily we were far more prepared for this than the last trip we did. However, nothing can really prepare you for skiing for lengthy periods, day after day. That’s what is really hard to prepare for mentally as you can’t see an end. To be in a situation where you’re not sure if you can finish, that’s very hard to simulate. Was it hard undertaking an expedition outside your comfort zone? That was one of the reasons I did it. I don’t really like the cold and I’d never skied before so it was a chance to learn a whole set of new skills. As the race went on, I was getting better at skiing and putting up a tent at very low temperatures. You get used to improving a lot of the time, which is actually quite motivating. You learn that as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other, you’ll get there eventually. Covering 25 miles a day, ski-pulling 200lb sleds, was there a point when you realised what exactly you were up against? On a good day, Antarctica is beautiful and one of the most stunning places I’ve been to, but on a bad day it’s horrible. We actually had really nice weather for the first week and then we had some pretty bad storms – that’s when I thought, “Jesus, this place isn’t nice”. That was an awakening to how quickly the landscapes change. The sleep deprivation combined with the hunger was challenging and during the race I had really bad blisters and pneumonia so I was really struggling physically. You’d set off skiing in the morning with those first few steps on sore feet in the knowledge that you’ve got 16 hours ahead of you – that was demoralising. Looking back, I don’t know how we did it. Did you ever doubt your chances of finishing in such a killer environment? Very rarely did all three of us feel low; there was always someone more positive. That was the good thing about our team; we could help each other through. If you’ve got guys going through the same as you, it forces you onwards. We fell back a bit in the

second half of the race because we got ill. We were always going to be up against it and realistically to have been up there challenging the Norwegians, Team Missing Link, we would have had to have lived in Norway for a year just to learn what they do naturally. It was good to at least push them. Was this the hardest you have ever pushed your body? It was hard to tough things out but it’s amazing what the body can put up with. It was certainly the most ill I’ve ever felt. As a sportsman you would have spent a week in bed, but that wasn’t really an option. My feet were so painful and I didn’t want to slow the others up so I ended up taking a lot of painkillers and hallucinations proved one of the side effects. At that point I thought I should cut back on the painkillers. What we went through was nothing compared to the likes of Scott In 1912. We were on Antarctica for seven weeks, racing for about three weeks, however it took Scott 78 days to walk to the Pole, then he turned around and walked back before he died. He was out there for a total of 150 days. You completed the race on the afternoon of January 22nd, reaching the lowest point on Earth. Have you now fully thawed out? I still haven’t got feeling at the end of my fingers due to frostbite and my big toes are a mess with pretty bad blisters. I lost three stones but the weight has come back on worryingly easily. I felt very weak for the first month but now I feel fine. Were there any life threatening incidents during the 18 days, 5 hours and 30 minutes? We came across crevasse fields and, at that time, we’d been skiing for a while so we were knackered. You’d walk over a bit of snow, feel it sink beneath you and hear a mini avalanche underneath the ice. That’s when you think, “This isn’t a great place to be,” and we then realised that we felt quite vulnerable. The phrase goes ‘two’s company, three’s a crowd’. Would it be naïve to say that there weren’t ever any strops amongst the team? Three’s a tricky number but we worked well together. Obviously you get ratty and we tried to make sure we said something as soon as it entered our heads rather than let things fester for a few days before exploding. We had a couple of rows but compared to the intensity we were living in, it wasn’t too bad. Aside from loved ones, what do you miss during demanding expeditions? A running tap was the biggest thing. We would spend four hours a day melting ice to drink and even then, we didn’t have enough. We were eating dehydrated food and snacks such as nuts and chocolate so some spicy flavours would have been nice. What did you learn about yourself on this particular awe-inspiring trip? I think there were times when I should have backed off when I was getting ill and I ended up worse. Being tough and pushing on is actually more stupid than helpful. It’s hard to stand there and say to the others, “Can you take some of my weight off me?” Ultimately it was selfish, as we had to stop and slow down until I got better and it may have cost us the chance of beating the Norwegians. Despite finishing runner-up from six competing teams, how does finishing such an arduous challenge compare to the euphoria of winning Olympic gold? The Olympics was obviously very intense with four years of preparation and emotion crammed into six minutes’ racing. With this race I didn’t feel emotional until we got to the Pole, then we all started blubbing like babies. We had a really terrible last 28 hours, skiing all the time, then there’s a massive sense of relief when you haven’t got to ski anymore. You remember the good bits and block out the bad bits. Finally, do you think you’ll ever reach a point in your life where you’ll be content with just a round of golf? These trips offer me a chance to engage in things that I missed out on doing when I was younger because when you focus on one sport, that’s all you know. After all, there might come a time when I have to get a proper job. The BBC series On Thin Ice reaches our screens in May









“John Davis’s photography style reflects a strong personal passion in this visual art. He brings to his photographs an individual and highly distinctive visualisation of the subject. The power of creating a story from one image is the foundation of his work. John’s mastery of the photographic medium is recognised around the world. His ability to work to a brief whilst providing a unique insight of the subject has resulted in commissions from a wide-ranging international client base. John is focused on the creation of a compelling image whether for an advertising campaign, editorial feature or publishing project. Image photographs are John’s modus operandi; his focus is to make what he sees beautiful and desirable. His skill at creating images which are provocative not predictable and sensual not sexual has gained him commissions from many top publishers, PR and advertising agencies along with clients such as Gillette, Adidas, Carling, Orange, Speedo and Volvo.”









SPORT profile



shirt: Eton denim jacket: Whyred


suit: DAY Birger et Mikkelsen shirt: Eton tie: Paul Smith belt: Redgreen bag: Royal Republic 71

THIS PAGE suit: Suit Sand shirt: Eton tie: Paul Smith hankerchief: Paul Smith boots: Red Wing glasses: Han bag: Acne JeanS OPPOSITE PAGE suit: Matinique cardigan: Whyred shirt: Marlboro Classics

THIS PAGE shirt: Velour vest: J. Lindeberg silver blazer: René Gurskov jeans: Acne cap: stylist’s own OPPOSITE PAGE denim shirt: Hope blazer: Blueblood trousers: Whyred socks: Richard James shoes, Whyred hats: stylist’s own


THIS PAGE jacket: Sand cardigan: Paul Smith shirt: Boomerang hankerchief: Paul Smith OPPOSITE PAGE jacket: Fred Perry T-shirt: Acne Jeans pants: Sand watch: Rolex Explorer

THIS PAGE flowery shirt: Eton denim jacket: Marlboro Classics jeans: Won Hundred OPPOSITE PAGE shirt: Whyred denim shirt: Levi’s denim vest: Marlboro Classics jeans: René Gurskov boots: Hope hat: stylist’s own


THIS PAGE knit: Knowledge Cotton Apparel shirt: Garbstore glasses: Paul Smith from Poul Stig Glasses OPPOSITE PAGE jacket: Sand shirt: Boomerang T-shirt: Acne Jeans jeans: Won Hundred 76

photos: MAGNUS EKSTRØM styling and text: FREDERIK ANDERSEN grooming: VIBEKE ASBOE FOR BOBBI BROWN model: TOBIAS B. SØRENSEN ELITE MODELS photographer’s assistant: MAUDE THIS PAGE sweater: Whyred blazer: Whyred jeans: The Local Firm OPPOSITE PAGE turtleneck: J. Lindeberg sweater:stylist’s Velourassistant: jeans: The ANDREAS Local Firm TORP photos: Magnus Ekstrøm styling: Christian Schleisner/ Unique Look hair and grooming: Zenia Jæger/ Unique Look model: Lasse P/ Unique HERRING photographer’s assistant: Anders Frauerby stylist’s assistant: My Ringsted retouch: Nurali Kushkov 77 retouching: NURALI KUSHKOV



by munetaka Tokuyama

dress: Josef Statkus sunglasses: American Apparel gloves: Lacraisia 79


THIS PAGE pants: Frank Tell top: Suzie Won shirt: Hunter Dixon gloves: Carolina Amato Opposite page dress and belt: Frank Tell gloves: LaCraisia shoes: Giuseppe Zanotti


dress: Frank Tell bangles: Ben-Amun


THIS PAGE earrings & bangles: Ben-Amun dress: Manish Arora OPPOSITE PAGE tank top: Ideen earrings: Ben-Amun




THIS PAGE dress: Frank Tell gloves: LaCraisia necklace: Ideen sunglasses: American Apparel OPPOSITE PAGE dress: Coven earrings: Gara Danielle 87


top ruffles: Manish Arora bathing suit: Josef Statkus earrings: Mawi

photography: Munetaka Tokuyama styling: Keiko Hitotsuyama makeup: Keiko Hiramoto for make up forever hair: Kazunori Ueda (Next) model: Marta Stempniak (One) location: Shoot Digital NYC production: Tracy Montigny (CA1 CA2 Cornelia Adams) 89





THIS PAGE dress: Hamish Morrow OPPOSITE PAGE 92 dress: Hussein Chalayan





THIS PAGE trousers: Bernard Chandran necklace: J.W Anderson shoes: Christian Louboutin belt: Betty Jackson

photography: EMMA TEMPEST styling: THEA LEWIS makeup: SAMANTHA CHAPMAN USING Chanel Pro Lumiere



by Daymion Mardel

black fringed jacket:98Ralph Rucci


black dress: Norma Kamali jewellery: Alexis Bittar

wetsuit: O’neil jewellery: R.J.Graziana

BOTH PAGES jacket: Prada skirt: Prada printed gloves: La Crasia black fringed hat: Norma Kamali

1982 art deco original vintage sunglasses: £350 ARLEQUIN polkadot blouse: £185 SAMANTHA COLE


THIS PAGE white dress: Frank Tell gloves: La Crasia jewellery: R.J.Graziano hats: Patricia Underwood OPPOSITE PAGE printed top: Tibi hat: Patricia Underwood

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makeup artists: Regina Harris (Jed Root)

stylist assistant: Kah li models: Melina@Trumpmodels BARA,LEONI AND Vanessa@Imgmodels Eva and sara@Wilhelmina, Alicia, ANNA and AMANDA@Elitemodels


Face of Fashion

One of the key makeup trends for Spring/Summer is soft pastel colours reminiscent of Monet’s Water Lilies crossed with A Midsummer Night’s Dream as we saw backstage at London Fashion Week by NIEDIAN BIGGS



FROM LEFT TO RIGHT eight hour cream Elizabeth Arden £20 zoom lash mascara Mac (£10) eye basics Laura Mercier £27



CLOCKWISE FROM TOP RIGHT House of Holland This spring, pay close attention to your brows and keep them super groomed with Mac (£12) clear brow gel. This gel will hold all stray hairs in place until your next trip to the brow bar. Then you can fill in any gaps with a brow powder and a clever angled brush from Bobbie Brown. Complete this look with an almost clear lip gloss. I would recommend using my favourite beauty basic Vaseline (£1.50). Nicole Farhi It wouldn’t be spring without your yearly dose of sumptuous lip colours to give you that really pouty lip, and this season is no different. But forget your hot pinks and chill in lilac and devilishly seductive purples from Mac (£11) for that bee-stung lip effect. For your cheeks just add a little peachy hue in a cream blusher by Dior (£18). Erdem To achieve this look just add Estee Lauder (£27) Maximum Cover for that super-matt flawless skin. This look is very soft and romantic with a Shu Uemura (£27) lime green eye shadow on the lids. Apply a little concealer under the eyes to even out all those late nights. A good tip is to use one with built-in moisturiser – try Studio Moisture Cover by Mac (£11) then base the eye lid with Eye Basics from Laura Mercier (£27) to correct any discolouration on the lid. images courtesy of MAC cosmetics



FROM LEFT TO RIGHT purple lipstick Mac (£11) clear brow gel Mac (£12) clever angled brush bobbie brown maximum cover Estee Lauder (£27)



Polo in the Park Glamorous, exclusive and somewhat elitist, could polo become the new Formula 1? Rosie Gamble meets the man on a mission to make it so



This June, West London’s illustrious sports venue The Hurlingham Club will play host to a polo tournament, Polo in the Park. The brains – and bank notes – behind the project belong to corporate financer Daniel Fox-Davies who believes polo has the marketing potential to surpass the global success of Formula 1. “Formula 1 is pretty dull really,” he explains. “It’s made exciting by the graphics and TV coverage. Ecclestone has made it sexy through clever marketing and the glamour of big brand-sponsorship. Polo is sexy already. I want to make it accessible.” Fox-Davies, who started playing polo in 2000, was struck by the lack of marketing behind the sport. Polo, he believes, is far from reaching its commercial potential: “On going to events, I couldn’t understand why, for such an engaging adrenaline-fuelled sport, there was not a more mass appeal.” The answer, as exemplified by F1, is simple: television. Sport broadcast on TV generates an audience, brand sponsorship and commercial revenue. Yet polo is notoriously exclusive, largely confined to the private pitches of the wealthy few – not an obvious choice for the average spectator. “Most people don’t wake up and go, ‘You know what? I’m going to go to a polo game,’” admits Fox-Davies. Nonetheless, the recent growth of the Cartier Polo Tournament suggests the sport is creeping – albeit slowly – into public consciousness. The event has seen an increase in attendance from just 1,000 spectators in 1992 to 40,000 last July. So Fox-Davies has settled on a three-day public tournament from the 2nd of June. And secured a venue steeped in nostalgia. The Hurlingham club played host to Britain’s first-ever Polo match in 1874, and became, between 1900 and 1939, the sport’s official headquarters in the British Empire. Polo was last played on the club’s manicured pitches before the Second World War when the grounds became allotments. The original site has since become a municipal park owned by Hammersmith and Fulham Council. Securing the historic venue has been no mean feat. Persuading the council to

play ball required a £250,000 investment into resurfacing the park, carried out by TMGS, the same company that resurfaced Wembley. Historical relevance aside, the venue could hardly be better placed. A central London location, five minutes from public transport, makes an attractive proposition for corporate entertainment. Add in the club’s facilities, the fact that it’s slap bang within one of the highest densities of wealthy people in Britain, sun, strawberries and – quite possibly – a glimpse of Prince William. “I think it should be one of the most prestigious open air events of the year,” says Fox-Davies happily. Yet, the event itself is just a springboard. Fox-Davies hopes to create an F1 style international tour; attracting a live audience on the grounds of location is merely the first step. “People have to care about teams, they need to feel committed to supporting one in particular,” he explains. “We will have city teams as people tend to be as passionate about their city as their country.” Professional polo player Jack Kidd, brother of supermodel Jodie, has selected the ponies and players. He will also play for the London team alongside exEngland captain Henry Brett, Jamie Morrison and Britain’s highest-ranked female player Nina Vestey. Five other teams will compete in the tournament, representing Paris, New York, Sydney, Buenos Aires and Mumbai. “This year we have picked the city teams to create a spectacle,” explains FoxDavies. “The wider business plan is to allow each city to buy their own team. They will then pay a fee to enter the tournament. Eventually, we will franchise out the event so we’ll have a world tour – a tournament in each city.” As to broadcasting the event on television, his plans are equally as ambitious: “We need to bring an audience in and show them the game close up. The main problem with polo is the pitch. It’s four or five times the size of a football pitch so filming with a static camera doesn’t give any sense of the action or speed. We’re going to film it like American Football – from above.”



Sophisticated equipment will be used to film the game including a fly camera suspended on a horizontal wire above the length of the pitch. An electronic screen will show a player’s profile on their scoring including how much time they have spent in attack and defence, and details of the pony they are riding. A digital screen will enable replays and on-screen explanations of the game. A world away, surely, from a traditional scoreboard and the assumption that the average spectator understands the rules? Fox-Davies appears nonchalant: “We’ve got to go big on the graphics. We’re not looking at doing anything earth shattering. If we want mass appeal, it needs to be done.” Fox-Davies is also amending the rules. The tournament will be played on a smaller pitch in order to encourage a faster game with more scoring. “I can never understand why people like sports where the scores are low,” he says. “I want to see scores that are in the teens.” This will be encouraged by the addition of a ‘D’ marked out in front of the goal with two points for scoring outside of it and one from within. Players will no longer be clad in traditional whites, but will wear block team colours and play with an orange ball to aid the spectator. So is it really that easy to change the rules of a sport played over two centuries? Polo has a governing body, the Hurlingham Polo Association (HPA). A club or tournament affiliated with the HPA will play by their rules. Fox-Davies, somewhat audaciously, has set up an alternative governing body, the World Polo Association (WPA) and will play by his new spectator-friendly rules. The HPA’s chief executive, David Woodd, has given his tentative approval: “I think anything that brings polo to a wider audience is good for the sport. The rule changes are not substantial enough to change the game.” Woodd’s main concern lies in the name share between the Hurlingham club and the HPA. “As he is hosting it at Hurlingham – which is our birthplace – if it doesn’t work everyone will think we are running it,” he explains. “Our reputation


is on the line.” And what of the ever-present cloud of recession? Fox-Davies is well aware of the economic climate, but remains confident. “It’s an appalling time to launch an event,” he admits. “But in a service-based economy such as London, firms still need to market to their clients. Corporate hospitality doesn’t decline that much in a recession. We’re doing 50 tables of 10 each day. We’ve sold plenty of tables already.” Likewise, with ticket prices ranging between £10 and £35, Fox-Davies believes he will still attract his walk-in audience. Sponsorship, he concedes, may pose a problem. With F1 revealing that fewer sponsors have joined so far in 2009 than in any of the past years, Fox-Davies will not have an easy ride. As to the all-important TV deal, the two remain indisputably linked. Yet FoxDavies is determined to seek out a silver lining, maintaining that slashed television budgets could work in his favour. “Whereas in the past TV companies might have thought polo was not for them and written it off, they’re more likely to take something for free if they haven’t got much to spend,” he argues. Ultimately, the event will go ahead because Fox-Davies is underwriting it. He expects to experience a substantial loss this year, but hopes to make money in years four or five. So does Fox-Davies see himself as the self-appointed saviour of the sport? Bringing polo to the masses while casually collecting up the cash? “I’d like to see this happen because I love polo and want to see it develop,” he explains. “But at the end of the day, it’s a business proposition. Once upon a time Bernie Ecclestone must have sat down and thought, ‘This motor racing stuff is all a bit disorganised. I think I’ll sort it out.’ Polo has the potential to be put into another global franchise. I think we can do it.”



Million Dollar Baby

As the biggest hit of the year so far, Slumdog Millionaire has garnered praise and controversy in equal measures. Ashanti OMkar examines why the film attracted so much attention A film that very nearly went straight to DVD but ended up sweeping every major award including the much-coveted Academy Award for best motion picture, Slumdog Millionaire has been on the world stage for a while now. Born out of the imagination of diplomat and author Vikas Swarup, the book Q&A was adapted by Simon Beaufoy and directed by British director Danny Boyle, both winning Oscars for their work. It was co-directed by Loveleen Tandan in order to bring authenticity to it from the Indian standpoint. Resul Pookutty was brought in to work on the complex soundscapes to capture the vibrancy of Mumbai while A R Rahman was enlisted to make the music that makes the film jump out of the screen and engage the audiences with its fast-paced action and flashback sequences. Both notable for their work in Indian movies, they have also worked with Hollywood crews and have been rewarded with top awards pertaining to Slumdog Millionaire. British-Asian writer and film producer Raj Kajendra who frequents India explains the realism of the film: “It’s accurate only to a degree as it deals with a section of a metro city, which is multicultural (in an Indian sense) and has many layers. The poverty lies in the background. For a person who visits many big cities, slums are an integral part and they come in different forms and sizes. The bigger and more vibrant the city, the more active the slums are.” In terms of the cases against the film in India, particularly for the usage of the word ‘Slumdog’ in the title, he dissects: “There is a case in India for anything that will give publicity. The Indian media jumps on such controversies. Dog is still a strong negative term in India. In Tamil films, one cannot have the usage of the word ‘dog’ and get a ‘U’ classification. But we all know the title ‘Slumdog’ is just that – a mere title.” In terms of Indian films and their genres, he clarifies: “Indian films have all sorts of genres. They are made in various languages. They do have reality based films, but the so-called happy films dominate the blockbuster market like in the


rest of the world.” Film producer, director and Mumbai resident Manish Jain saw some logical flaws in the film and remarks: “The dress and accent of the ‘Chaiwalla’ (teaboy) would trouble me, but then I know this film is primarily made for American audience and they perceive India like this.” While praising the acting of the kids in the film, especially the ones cast from the actual slums, he also observes: “We know that this film was made with all the ingredients of how Americans perceive India (poverty, slums, the Taj Mahal, call centres, bollywood dance, film star worship, trains, crowds, traffic jams, red light areas, beggar kids, drainage pipelines, an underworld, Hindu Gods, Gandhi et al) and the director ensured that all of that is present and backed it with fantastic direction, visuals, performances and music – overall, amazing film making.” Singer Sai Priya speaks her mind: “Having been to Mumbai and other parts of India on a few occasions, it gives me a wakeup call to count my blessings for the life that I’m living and really negate all the frivolities and unimportant things which in the grand scheme of things really don’t matter. Having travelled to many countries and having seen and experienced different cultures, it almost seems like a hierarchy or a division of wealth and class has to exist for a system to work. I personally think that many ‘real’ elements would not have been shown in the film, as there was another purpose and moral behind the fictitious narrative. With regards to the pain of the slum dwellers, people I know who have been born and raised in India have said these types of stories were very common. Take the heart-wrenching scene of the child being blinded so the public would sympathise with him as a beggar, hence the boss man making more money – apparently this is a very true occurrence. If this title ‘Slumdog’ was used in isolation to the film, then yes of course it is derogatory due to the word dog being attached to a person who lives in the slums. However, it is

FOCUS conducive to the film, hence it makes sense.” Emi Clarke is a movie buff who recently took her first visit to India and expresses some strong views: “The slum was depicted correctly but I still think parts of Mumbai were sanitised for the film, especially the train station. I feel the movie in general was made to the American palate. Where were all the tourists? You can’t miss them or the traffic jams. But we have to be realistic here; there is a limit to what the government would like shown on the silver screen, above all from a foreign director. ‘Slumdog’ is not an offensive term because I am sure the local word for those inhabitants is not any nicer. As a seasoned traveller, I know that slums exist in many countries. I think you learn to view these things as an interesting character building exercise with regards to the history of the country.” With no discernable Indian star cast except Irrfan Khan and Anil Kapoor, Clarke analyses its East West success ratio: “India is not portrayed in a bad light. I think like with most film industries, movies there are made for escapism. What is the point of not improving people’s outlook on live through happy films which do not have any resemblance to normal life/reality? No one would make money. I think the adoration of movie stars is a give-and-take situation in the society as a whole today. But Slumdog is really not that different with regards to most average Indian movies in terms of final outcome – evil does not pay and love conquers all.” Young Political Sciences academic Uma Kumaran is all for the movie and its depictions: “I feel that the film is real; there is no glamour and no Bollywood/ Hollywood style airbrushing. It shows the harsh realities of life in the slums – the grime, corruption and squalor, but it also shows that those who live in it are just like the rest of us; they dream big and fearlessly. It shows the West a previously unseen side of India. It opens the eyes of the cinematic audience to another type of lifestyle, which exists out of sight and perhaps out of mind for most people.” In terms of precision, she says: “The scenes in Delhi are so accurate, especially the Taj Mahal. I have, in fact, visited the area where the rugs were being washed.” In terms of the controversies, she delves straight in: “Indians are quick to be offended yet quick to take credit for what they once criticised. Once the film won Oscars there were joyous scenes of celebration in the streets and the child actors were received back to India with a hero’s welcome – it’s a mixed reaction.” Kumaran also affirms: “This film has done great things for India. It has shunned the West’s perception that Indian films or films related to India are unrealistic or not for a Western audience. It was hard hitting, passionate and believable. It has thrust an exceptional musical genius like A R Rahman onto the world stage and has helped cast aside any snobbery that may have existed.” In terms of media tags, she says: “I don’t agree that it is a feel good film at all. I left the cinema deep in thought. It was a great film which ended on such a high note, but the jokes and comedic elements of the film were lost to the deeper and darker aspects. I would class this in the same genre as films resembling Danny Boyle’s Trainspotting and The Beach.” Noted film critic, writer and producer Dr Naman Ramachandran imparts his expert opinion: “I’ve shot in the slums for TV news and have done lots of research into slums for scripts I have written. I also contribute to a fund that

helps slum children get their education. The movie does depict the slums in a fairly accurate way. It doesn’t look like a studio manufactured slum unlike in many Indian films. Simon (Beaufoy) spent a lot of time in the slums of Bombay. The excreta shed depicted in the film actually exists near the Juhu airfield. One can live in two versions of Mumbai: one is that with your window rolled up – the airport, 5-star hotel – and the other is the real Bombay of the streets. Most Indian critics of Slumdog have most likely never been to a slum and have only seen it in films. Every high-rise building needs a support system nearby to service their rich masters with laundry and services.” Ramachandran speaks of the term ‘Slumdog’: “Personally, I don’t think it is offensive, but I am not from the slums – they may take offence and I can see why. I don’t think it was meant as a pejorative term as it is a celebratory film. If you watch the film carefully, the word Slumdog is uttered only once by the cop – the Bombay police are known to be brutal and profane and they have to be as they are dealing with people worse than them; the gangland.” He reminisces: “The first time I went to the real Dharavi slum, what hits you is the stench as they have open sewers running through it. But the houses are spotless – the may live in shanties but they don’t live in their own filth.” He goes on: “In India, slums are part of the tapestry of life and they don’t think twice about it. Slumdog has raised the profile of slums and they are still there. This movie is a fairytale, not a documentary and it has raised the world awareness.” Many international films have used slums as a backdrop. While the films themselves are not about the slums, in their own way, they too have raised awareness, Dr Ramachandran reveals: “Tsotsi shows one of the world’s largest in South Africa and City of God demonstrates the favelas of Brazil. Trendsetters in fiction features would be Pixote about street children in São Paulo and a landmark South Indian Tamil film called Nayagan, although not shot in a slum but re-created in Chennai.” Irrfan Khan, who has worked on films like A Mighty Heart, The Namesake and The Darjeeling Limited, comes from noble birth in India, but has experienced real slum life when researching for a small role early in his career, in Mira Nair’s Salaam Bombay, soon to be re-released on DVD. He plays the interrogating inspector in Slumdog and says: “Mumbai is a city of colour and diversity and absorbs everything that is offered to it. Any person living in the city will tell you it is the best city in the world and for that reason I did not take heed of any detrimental depictions or comments.” Producer of British film Provoked, Sunanda Murali Manohar pours in her support: “I wish I could make a film like Slumdog and am proud someone made it nevertheless. As a film buff and Indian, I think it is great technically and I am happy that people across the world could see the brainpower of Indians, whether the upper strata or the slums.” Writer Deepak Chopra prophesises on his intent blog: “If Slumdog is a viable symbol, the future it points to is just being born. An out-of-the-way picture can dare to be universal, which means that India may dare to be universal one day. The dispossessed people of Asia are suddenly aware that they have a place at the table where previously only the rich dined. Both developments are encouraging.”



Sailing Everest



The Volvo Ocean Race is described as the ‘Everest of Sailing’ for the brave few who can endure it. Recording the fastest time between ports, the race not only promotes those who take part, but also the vessels that carry them there. The race is over 37,000 nautical miles of the world’s most treacherous seas via Cape Town, Kochi, Singapore, Qingdao, Cape Horn to Rio de Janerio, Boston, Galway, Goteborg and Stockholm. The trip is nine months long, starts in Alicante, Spain, in October 2008 and finishes in St Petersburg, Russia. Each boat has a specialist crew of 11 men who race night and day for more than 30 days at a time. Conditions are extremely harsh with temperatures varying from -5 to +40 degrees Celsius. The sailors have room for only one change of clothing each and suffer from hunger and sleep deprivation. The racers have kept in contact with the onshore world via blog messages and a photography crew snapping the best and most beautiful moments.



Brighton: An Insider’s View

Louisa Michel profiles the unique blend of wayward spirit, creative energy and quintessential seaside charm that makes Brighton one of the UK’s most vibrant cities A platform for radical thinking and dramatic social change throughout British history, Brighton has had a notoriously colourful past. Now a hotbed of culture and diversity, the city today pays testament to all that has gone before. Formerly an obscure fishing village, the town (as it was then) emerged as a health resort in the 18th century, attracting modest crowds drawn to the seaside to ‘take the waters’. Its mounting reputation soon caught the eye of the 21-yearold Prince Regent, and after a visit with some friends in 1783, he became the Patron of Brighton and took up residency there. With the favour of the Prince, later King George IV, thus bestowed, Brighton underwent extraordinary transformation. Quickly establishing itself as fashionable watering hole for the royal entourage, Brighton’s famous Regency squares and crescents were erected, providing elegant town houses for its new high society. As the perfect hideaway – far from the prying eyes of London – the flamboyant Prince is said to have enjoyed a heady appetite for decadence and licentiousness. Indeed, history records that he would often bring his mistress to the town, giving rise to the expression of ‘a dirty weekend’. In 1787 John Nash pioneered the lavish and costly Royal Pavilion. A landmark in revolutionary British architecture, the


seaside fantasy palace combined an Indian exterior complete with minarets and onion-domes, and an exotic Chinese interior. An exceptional building to behold, the pleasure palace (as it was secretly known) has become the most famous attraction in Brighton, very much reflecting the rich and opulent nature of the Regency period. In 1841, the arrival of the railway brought Brighton within reach of day-trippers from London and the rest, as they say, is history. Now with eight million tourists a year, London-by-sea has many charms, including the narrow alleyways or ‘Lanes’ of Brighton’s bohemian quarter. The North Laines are all that remains of the original street pattern of the fishing village burnt to the ground by French raiders in 1514. Now home to independent fashion and design businesses, they are a tropical paradise for any shopper who likes a touch of the Original. With a bounty of independent boutiques and wacky shops, you can pick up the likes of designer fashion, handmade knickers, vegetarian shoes, bespoke jewellery, energy crystals and stacks and stacks of vintage. Oh, and did I mention the erotica? As if the streets weren’t tempting enough, you might find yourself browsing more than just second-hand records.


The Lanes boast 37 cafes and 22 pubs and bars, many offering al-fresco dining. You can expect a menu of the fairtrade coffee and wheatgrass shot variety. At night, bars and restaurants twinkle alluringly. Bill’s is renowned less for its food and more for its ambience with wooden baskets stuffed with wild flowers and wheelbarrows overflowing with colourful fruit. More serious eating can be done in the South Laines, home to two of the most famed vegetarian restaurants in the South East. Michelin starred Terre a Terre is, and I quote, ‘A culinary experience like no other’. But for a cheaper option, just around the corner is the well-loved Food for Friends, still home of inspirational vegetarian cuisine 27 years on. As the unofficial culture capital of the South East, it may not come as a revelation that over 6,000 creative freelancers working as writers, artists, musicians and actors populate the city. Indeed, its creative industry is booming and 10.7% of the UK’s Creative Industries Workforce comes from Brighton and Hove alone. The Fabrica Gallery, one of many groundbreaking art spaces, is based in a former regency church, and commissions contemporary visual art installations specific to the building. Hosting four main shows a year, interspersed with smaller experimental pieces, Fabrica is noted for its often divisive and explicit work. The Phoenix centre is noteworthy in that it is the largest artist-led arts organisation in the country, serving up edgy exhibitions and offering a variety of courses from pottery to felt making. Continuing to push the boundaries in creative thinking, Brighton is also home to arguably the most inspired of Banksy’s portfolio, and one to look out for when passing the only remaining Italianate railway station: the famous ‘Kissing Policemen’. Symbolic of the thriving and much-celebrated gay, lesbian and transgender community in Brighton, the Kissing Policemen is a reminder of an altogether different revolutionary past. As a result of the floating holiday population and easy

transport links with London, Brighton’s emerging gay scene established itself on the queer social map around the 1920s and 30s. Pubs with gay and lesbian clientele prospered, and among these the Star of Brunswick in Brunswick Street West and Pigott’s bar at the St James Tavern in Madeira Place were especially popular with the boys and girls respectively. Now nicknamed the ‘Gay Capital of the South’, Brighton is home to famed carnival ‘Pride’ which attracts thousands every summer who come to celebrate gay liberation. With the award-winning glass-fronted Jubilee Library, Brighton is a place where words also carry weight. Famously home to Rudyard Kipling, the city’s literary residence include many distinguished writers such as Julie Burchill, Chris Palin, Peter James and David Cordingly along with poets John Agard, Grace Nicholls and Catherine Smith, unsurprising given its reputation as the most poetic city in the UK. Now in its 43rd year, Brighton Festival, the largest arts festival in the country after Edinburgh, will attract thousands of people over its three-week course. The festival promotes an international mix of innovative theatre, music and visual arts in a host of grand venues, quirky locations and art spaces across the city. This year heralds the arrival of internationally celebrated Turner Prize winning artist Anish Kapoor as Guest Artistic Director. The 2009 programme, with the Guardian newspaper as media partner, is set to be a captivating affair and includes two new commissions from Kapoor himself, seven events commissioned by Brighton Festival, and a whole series of other must-see shows, talks and concerts. The Brighton Fringe runs alongside the main festival and provides an alternative platform for avant-garde theatre as well as a testing ground for fresh talent in comedy, circus, exhibition and a whole lot more. With spring just around the corner, Brighton’s pebbled beach and stripy deckchairs will become once more a haven for many a British day-tripper.



The promenade, erected in 1867, offers stunning panoramic views across the channel and is home to in-line skaters, joggers and cyclists making use of the generous scenic mile or so stretch. When the sun comes out to play, ‘beach cool’ follows suit, and with numerous trendy bars, coffee houses and funky art galleries that line the world-famous sea front, a ‘stroll by the sea’ may turn into an entirely different afternoon! For the kids of course there are the luminous games and terrifying rides on the Brighton Pier, but as the sun goes down, the promenade becomes home to the well-respected clubbing scene. Local DJ Fatboy Slim and his open-air concert ‘Big Beach Boutique’ last year attracted more than 20,000 revellers to Brighton beach and is set to do the same again in early September. King George’s scandals, the growing lesbian and gay community, and later, the Mods and Rockers movement in the 1960s, have meant that ‘alternative’ is an intrinsic element in Brighton’s make-up. There is a particular kind of free spirit to be found in this city. Yes, the dreadlocks remain, but now Brighton boho very much includes its share of bronzed yummy mummies. Indeed, the central noticeboard in the window of much-loved Infinity Foods Cooperative offers a good sprinkling of the typically ‘Brightonesque’ activities which you might expect. Pilates, meditation and raw food courses are a common occurrence, and then of course there are the numerous local veg box schemes, alternative therapists of every description, and the odd Tantra weekend too if that takes your fancy. For the more hardened of free spirits, the notorious Cowley Club, cafécum-bookshop and hangout of local anarchists and libertarians, runs as a popular base for those involved in grassroots social change. An eco-friendly


ethos permeates city life: recycling is on the up, more and more people grow their own veggies and clothes swaps are becoming the new house party of choice. Transition Brighton, a voluntary group aiming to start a citywide community in response to climate change and peak oil, offers an ongoing and increasingly popular selection of workshops and lectures on sustainable living. It has inspired such projects as Kemp Town based ‘Cranks’, a free weekly ‘do-it-yourself’ bicycle workshop. Twenty minutes outside Brighton is the medieval town of Lewes. The desirable postcode of many artists and journalists, the town is a hunting ground for sought-after antiques, mouth-watering eateries and, of course, the grand Glyndebourne Opera Festival. Attracting many well-to-do attendees, Glyndebourne is regarded a part of the English ‘summer season’ and this year celebrates its 75th anniversary. Its own currency, the Lewes Pound, is very much an expression of the town’s radical past, and the annual firework displays and parades along its narrow streets are said to be amongst the finest in the land. If you fancy exploring the stunning Sussex countryside, Lewes is great base for many of the walks across the whalebacked South Downs with scenic views of chalk cliffs on the coast and wooded countryside. The blend of wayward spirit, creative energy and quintessential seaside charm are characteristics which have earned the South East much in the way of reputation over the years, and Brighton’s beating heart pays homage to this colourful history at every turn. Quite justifiably then, the city has emerged as an thriving component of the ‘Golden Triangle’, listed alongside London and Bristol as one of the most vibrant centres in the country.


Creatures of the Night Social networking is revolutionising how and where we choose to party. Emily Rachel Dean investigates Anyone who has watched the West End club scene evolve in the past five years will have no doubt as to the role social networking sites have played in shaping the industry today. No longer are we restricted to our usual group of friends and no longer are we restricted to the same old clubs (or just those we know to have an easy door policy). Getting onto a guest list is easier than ever. Nowadays you can even put your name on several lists and club hop all night – a practice once reserved for the rich and famous. Our social lives are inextricably linked with our online lives these days. And it’s mainly down to Facebook. Through Facebook we are more aware of niche events that appeal to us and our peers, and we are able to share them in seconds without the endless phone calls of yesteryear. “People used to be much less experimental but are now more willing to try new things,” says Vic Chandrasma of +Plus events, which hosts Friday nights and fabulous theme parties at No5 Cavendish Square. A recent trip to LA and a tour of the stalwart clubs (Hyde, Area) as well as the newbies (Apple, MyHouse) confirmed my suspicion that the ‘reserved’ nature of the British is a thing of the past. Only the Supper Club in San Francisco came close to the ‘anything goes’ hedonistic style of clubbing we are now seeing in the West End. Which all sounds great for the average clubber, but Facebook as a promotion tool is not without its controversy. Whilst some promoters put the percentage of business from Facebook at around the 75% mark, larger and longer running promoters place it around 5%. “We expanded through word of mouth, hard work and physical networking, which have provided long term relationships with the clientele,” Gary Sewell of Sintillate explains. “Facebook allows people to think they can be a promoter in five minutes. This results in short term success for the club and promoter but very little brand loyalty. It’s almost too easy to go to any club.” Joe Ryan, involved with PR and marketing at Chinawhites and Molton House, believes, “The West End is saturated. There are too many clubs. Personal promoting will always be preferential.” Anyone who gets their inbox clogged with multiple impersonal invites (often to the same club night!) will agree with that. I recently went to the launch of be@tv, the “next level social networking experience for the Gen 2.0 clubber. Held at the beautiful Vendome Mayfair, the event boasted

a stunning crowd and the company was given a solid thumbs-up from the music industry – house music maestros Pete Tong and Danny Rampling dropped by and stayed the whole evening. Be@tv films at the biggest and best clubbing events worldwide. Their crew members are going to be exhausted (or should that read spoilt rotten?) come December: they’ll be documenting all the festivals, the Miami Winter Music Conference (70 parties in five days), the Ibiza opening parties as well as five to six days a week in the UK. Dubbed ‘The Clubbers’ Facebook’ (by me and other astute types), people are able to tag themselves in videos, create a profile page, network with like-minded clubbers, learn more about their favourite artists as well as watch events they missed, and the company are sitting on even more technological developments for the future. There is functionality on the site for everyone in the business – clubbers, venues, performers and sponsors alike. The site is primarily intended for unfortunates around the world who don’t have the luxury of having their favourite DJs performing on a rotating schedule like we do in London. It’s a kind of outreach methadone programme for clubbing addicts. Ray Smith, the CEO and founder of be@tv, has an impressive CV of previous successes in hybrids of technology services and content creation and, quote, “was the kid in the USA staying up all night to listen to the Essential Mix on Radio 1”. Unquestionably for real lovers of electronic music, “the site isn’t for people who log in and ask what the incessant beeping noise is”. So, what lies in store for the future? Surviving clubs will be those that retain exclusivity or have real character. Whisky Mist has done a good job of this since its opening this year, and the clubs that have the ‘Royal Seal of approval’ (the Princes’ favourite haunts: Boujis, Amika, Mahiki) will always retain their allure and demand so they can be picky about clientele and maintain standards. As Joe Ryan puts it, “Hopefully the recession will wipe out some of the badly run clubs”. Online social networking is here to stay; the role it and new developments like be@tv will play in the future will be critical in shaping how clubs will ride out these uncertain times. If Sintillate’s Gary Sewell’s vision for the future, “More service, more quality, and more competition”, comes to fruition, it can only bode well for serious high-end clubbers. Watch this space. Emily is our roving reporter and fun-loving face of West End clubland. Each month she’ll be telling us where she’s been, who she’s seen and what’s new on the scene.



A Land Lost and Found

Torn apart by death, violence and rising consumerism, Cambodia still offers beauty, life and hope, says Caroline Eden



In December last year Cambodia’s capital, Phnom Penh, hosted its first annual photography festival. Amidst much hype, the week-long show was held in a French colonial tumbledown building called ‘The Bodega’ opposite the national museum and promised ‘surprising events and photography from around the world’. Open until midnight most nights, the exhibitions created a gala atmosphere and a real sense of excitement on the streets. It was by coincidence that I had arrived at this time but it felt like I was in the heart of something inspired in a land where this kind of creative outpouring is few and far between. Perhaps the most commanding exhibition on display, and certainly the one getting the most press coverage, was Manit Sriwanichpoom’s show The Pink Man Series. A Thai artist/activist, Sriwanichpoom’s collective message is anti-consumerism, but Pink Man also strikes out at consumption, tourism, urbanisation and indifference. The series has been displayed around the world, but it is in Cambodia that the message is all the more painful. The photographs depict a slick Thai man in a garish pink satin suit who in some images is pushing an empty pink shopping trolley. He is superimposed onto different reportage-style black and white photographs. The sub-series on display at the show in Phnom Penh focused on a particular tragedy: the October 1976 massacre in Bangkok. The incident occurred when police violently attacked political activists and students, resulting in the death of 46 people. The artist seems to be asking the viewer: did these people die so that we can go shopping? Sriwanichpoom sees the Khmer Rouge consumerism of his own country spreading into Cambodia, and not without reason. The message in Sriwanichpoom’s photographs is that Cambodia can look to Thailand in order to avoid the pitfalls of consumerism, which he sees as a cancer spreading fast throughout Asia. The truth is that most Cambodians are far too poor to shop for pleasure anyway. There are none of the huge designer malls one can see in Bangkok here in Phnom Penh or Siam Reap – shopping is not yet a leisure pursuit as it is elsewhere in the world. However, there is a different and far more aggressive form of consumerism taking hold of this ancient land, and it is this worrying trend that perhaps Sriwanichpoom is getting at. Gradually, Cambodia is being sold by its own government. What may appear to be a dramatic statement is, in fact, accurate. It is as though the country has gone into liquidation and government officials are acting sales assistants busily clearing out assets in a giant clearance sale. Forests, weapons, fisheries, and even tourist attractions are up for auction. Cambodians fear that even delicate memories and the past are being traded off to foreign companies. Cheung Ek (the famous ‘Killing Field’) was leased to a Japanese company for profit management back in 2005. The local population were outraged, especially when the entrance fee was raised from 50 cents to $2. ‘Ghosts are departing,’ they say and no one appears to be accountable – Cambodians are deeply spiritual and fear that genocide has become big business with little respect for the dead. The newspapers are full of concerns from Cambodians about what is happening to their country. For some time now large numbers of tourists have visited not only the Killing Fields but also the nearby ‘Genocide Museum’. Visitors can pay an entrance fee, rent a guide, buy a postcard and then go for an ice-cream or lunch if they so wish. Meanwhile families of the victims live nearby to these ‘attractions’, some with the knowledge that they can no longer afford to enter the sites. As I planned my remaining days in the capital, I am reminded of the Austrian writer Karl Kraus who once described this kind of macabre tourism in a satire he called ‘Promotional Trips to Hell’. He describes an imaginary Swiss tourist agency that takes travellers into the battlefield of Verdun where in comfort and safety they can witness “the quintessence of the horrors of modern warfare”. When I had booked my flight to Cambodia I had not been prepared

for the level of confusion and moral issues that I was to experience on visiting. After all, Cambodia had always seemed to me just another country on the gap-year students’ travel itinerary, somewhere similar but different to neighbouring Thailand. In my hotel, which was Vietnamese run and in the shape of a giant pink wedding cake, a laminated sheet had been carefully placed on my bedside table. Guests were encouraged to “visit Cheung Ek (Killing Fields), Genocide Museum or shooting range with our friendly family moto driver. Good English spoken.” I asked at reception if I could set off the next morning to the Killing Fields and was told that for $10 the driver would collect me and drive me on the back of his scooter to the site. ‘Cheung Ek’ is the site where many thousands of innocents were murdered by the Pol Pot regime in the mid 1970s and as a result it is also the exact place that inspired the critically acclaimed film The Killing Fields back in 1984. The site is approximately 15km outside of the city limits and the ride there throws up classic postcard scenes of rice paddies and wooden houses on stilts. As we drove along dusty and potholed roads, cattle and children ran by the roadside in the heat of the morning sun. The landscape was typical of South-East Asia and did not hint at the horrors that lay nearby. I was quite relived that it was indeed a hot Cambodian day and not the rainy season. I had been warned that when there are heavy rains human remains get unearthed and stick up through the rust coloured earth; bones and bits of clothing just appear out of the mud. The horror is still very fresh indeed. None of the victims were buried properly – they just fell into the graves they had crudely dug themselves before they collapsed or were executed. A large white and glass stupa containing 8,000 human skulls immediately greets the visitors after paying to enter the fields. A man selling flowers and incense under a large plastic umbrella motioned to me to buy something. I picked up some incense and placed the burning stick into the ground in front of the glass-fronted monument and peered in. The skulls are arranged in order of age and tower up several storeys high. They are different shades of sun-faded white and many are missing teeth. I stare in for a few minutes and unsure of what to do next walk along the trodden grass path to some cordoned-off areas. There is no real sense of following a particular route through the fields; visitors wander about clearly disturbed and unsettled by rustic wooden signs that have inscriptions carved onto them such as ‘Do not walk through the mass grave!’ and ‘Magic Tree, where executioners beat children’. It is bizarre and utterly shocking, and it is supposed to be. There are a few glass-fronted displays explaining to visitors in simple English what the Khmer Rouge stood for and what inspired them to brutally murder 1.5 million of their own countrymen. But Cheung Ek is not a museum and it is not a gallery – it is perhaps not supposed to be easily comprehended or to be anything other than a puzzling memorial to the victims of a hideous period of Khmer history. After an hour or so of contemplating this horror I found my driver dozing in the hot sun. He smiled at me and asked if I’d like to visit an orphanage. I politely declined as I felt I could not manage any more sadness in one day. He also added quietly that he lost three family members during the brutal regime of the Khmer Rouge including his baby twin sister who had starved to death – he somehow had survived. I felt utterly drained by visiting Cheung Ek but I also felt hungry to understand more – how had this happened merely 30 years ago? How had such madness been unleashed and how had Pol Pot come to believe he could really create a radical agrarian communist state and send the country back to year zero? Later that day, in search of some light relief, I decided to go to another famous landmark: the FCC (Foreign Correspondents Club). The ‘F’ as it is fondly known is an imposing club that sits on Sisowath Quay and offers





diners sweeping vistas of the Mekong river converging with the Tonle Sap. Set in a large French colonial villa it has been open to the public since 1993. Huge wooden fans swing slowly overhead and with just a little imagination it is possible to conjure up images of old hacks wiring their Asian war stories back home to New York and London. It is a very romantic setting indeed. There is serious attention to detail and while no longer a private club, the FCC has managed to hold on to a good deal of old world charm. The new FCC group chef Clinton Webber has recently updated the menu, introducing generous accompaniments of traditional Khmer flavours spiked with modern French influences. The recently created ‘Tasting Menu’ features Prawn Creviche with roasted nashi, watercress and cashew nuts splashed with mild kroeung vinaigrette, Duck Dumplings served with a lychee and mint salad and shrimp salt, Five-Spice Chicken Brochettes with jalapeno and palm sugar salsa and Vegetable Spring Rolls with a kapi dipping sauce. The service is impeccable and the prices are very cheap given the quality of drinks and dishes on offer. Phmon Penh does not lend itself to walking tours as some cities do. There is no clearly defined centre and no must-see districts or neighbourhoods. This does not mean that there aren’t places of interest, there are – it’s just far easier to take an economical tuk-tuk ride. One spot that does tend to crop up in ex-pat tête-à-têtes is Street 240. This is an attractive tree-lined avenue that boasts some of Phnom Penh’s best boutiques including the very stylish Le Lézard Bleu which displays fine objects of South-East Asian art and furniture; the long popular Australian-owned Bliss boutique and spa;

and Sap Bay‘s selection of South-East Asian home and tableware, bags and silks. There is even a chocolate shop and a wine boutique. Browsing in the boutiques and second hand bookshops on Street 240 makes for an afternoon well spent. The contrasts in Cambodia are hard and fast; not far from Street 240 I took a short cut down an alleyway and passed a young boy who was crouched with his head firmly planted in a plastic bag filled with glue. Beggars follow tourists determinedly. Many are genuinely needy, struggling in a country without welfare; often they are farmers who have lost limbs due to the unexploded bombs that still litter the countryside. All around, poverty and prostitution are glaringly obvious, even to the naive outsider. Yet, while some travellers I met complained that the few luxury shops and restaurants in Phnom Penh are so far from the affordability of the average Cambodian, hence rendering them offensive, I hold on to the view that this is surely the sign of a growing economy. The expat shops signal the growth in foreign investment and the travel industry, which in nearby booming Thailand employs over a million people and makes up 6% of the economy. In a country that has one of UNESCO’s most important sites, Angkor Wat, tourism will continue to grow – especially now that the country is far safer to visit than it was just 10 years ago, the Cambodians should not be denied the benefits that come from tourist dollars. It is almost impossible to travel to Cambodia and to not bear witness to the lingering scars of the Khmer Rouge genocide, but travellers should also embrace the new contemporary and hopeful Cambodia that Street 240, the FCC and the Photography Festival pay homage to.



Tales of the Orient

From Malaysian mysticism to Singapore skylines, Zuki Turner and her companion from the West discover two faces of the Far East



“So remember, some places smell really bad, the men might be a bit fascinated by your blonde hair, you WILL see rats and my family WILL eat anything that moves… but I hope you’ll like it.” This was a typical preparation speech that was dutifully recited daily to my travel companion before embarking on our two-week tour of Malaysia and Singapore. I was apprehensive to see Malaysia through the eyes of a tourist, worried that as one half of my family hail from that neck of the woods, my view of South-East Asia was more-than-slightly rose tinted. Maybe its less attractive characteristics that I had grown to love, or at least put up with, wouldn’t go down so well with someone who didn’t have that bond with the place. Over countless previous visits I had learnt to accept hazardous and pungent open sewers, men with heads that can swivel 360 degrees as they thunder past on smoky scooters, backwards jackets flapping in the breeze and shameless corruption, but perhaps others wouldn’t. Thankfully, I was wrong. In fact, looking back I am ashamed that I even thought to worry. Visiting Asia was like a much-needed boost after endless weeks of London grey. Everything was brighter, hotter, louder, and smellier. Colours were

intensified like you had just removed sunglasses that had been worn for the past six months and it gave you that feeling you get when your ears pop and suddenly you can hear clearly again. Our little tour enabled us to truly experience the full diversity of Asia, from the sleekest, shiniest city in Singapore to tradition, history and culture in Malacca and the absolute serenity and sumptuousness of the east coast. We were pampered, fed, watered and entertained in the height of luxury from the moment we touched down in Malaysia’s pulsating capital, Kuala Lumpur. During our three short and jetlagged days in the capital we managed to fit in an immense amount including appearing on Malaysian national television, traipsing around countless shopping centres, admiring the world’s tallest twin buildings and making full use of our executive accommodation at Hotel Nikko. We lounged by our unique skyscraper surrounded pool and were treated to a heavenly session at the Sompoton spa located within the hotel. We even found time to hit the plush executive club to drink in the view and the cocktails before heading out to experience what Malaysian nightlife had to offer.





Kuala Lumpur was a great first destination. Westernised enough to make it totally relatable and familiar even if you have never stepped foot out of London, but still distinctly cultural and truly Malaysian. Stray out of the polished plazas of KL’s golden triangle and you find yourself in the hectic humid hustle of China Town where you can visit ornate Buddhist temples, sample fiery Chinese cuisine or just buy knock-off watches and other bizarre tack (like I did). After our initial neon-rich few days in the country, we embarked upon our next adventure, a new experience for myself also, a trip to Terengganu on Malaysia’s east coast. Terengganu is a one-hour flight away from Kuala Lumpur, and Tanjong Jara Resort where we were staying was another hour away by car (or 35 minutes if Michael Schumacher chooses to step behind the wheel and chauffeur himself as our driver delightedly told us). When you arrive you are greeted by the bang of a gong, served with the area’s famed Roselle water and immediately blown over by the resort’s overwhelming beauty. Tanjong Jara sits facing the South China Sea between which sits a golden ribbon of sand which rarely has a person

on it. The resort prides itself on Malay heritage and is steeped in age-old traditions and designed to reflect the elegance of 17th century Malay palaces. Rooms are furnished in local timber and dressed with opulent traditional fabrics. Each comes with a spectacular view of the sky melting into the sea and the sound of the waves colliding with the beach to lull you into one of the most restful sleeps you are ever likely to experience. As well as being stunned by the beauty of the resort, we warmed to the staff immediately. Every effort was made to ensure we experienced an authentic taste of the region’s spirit and the country’s heritage. We were taken on a bike ride to a nearby sleepy fishing village where friendly children shouted and waved at us. We embarked upon a short mosquitoinfested jungle trek and experienced healing arts at the luxurious Spa Village. We even took a trip to the local fish market with the resort’s head chef and most vivacious character, Chef Ann, in preparation for our traditional Malaysian cooking lesson where we produced our very own buttermilk prawns and beef rendang. We experienced traditional Kampung life and on our last day, were visited by a family of cheeky





monkeys on our balcony that had obviously come to see us off. After five relaxing days it was time for us to head back to reality and to our next destination – Malacca, my mother’s hometown and therefore a particularly special part of Malaysia to me. This was a big test and immediately the panic crept back. After five days spent in what felt like paradise, how would Malacca be perceived by someone who had never experienced anywhere quite like it before? I wondered if the shabbiness that I found so endearing would look worse through someone else’s eyes. Again, I couldn’t have been more wrong and my fears vanished as the things that I had panicked about were eagerly embraced by my travelling companion. She didn’t actually mind dodging the occasional cockroach, laughed and took pictures of the scary “squatter” lavatories and still found the food delicious, even if it had been cooked on the roadside by someone who definitely had questionable hygiene.

Looking back I realised, how could anyone fail to love the rich tapestry of multicultural influences that are weaved into all aspects of Malacca, from the distinct architecture to the eclectic cuisine? Our hotel, the Majestic Malacca, also embraced the town’s diverse history with its design integrating the ultramodern with the antique, such as the original porcelain flooring and teakwood fittings. The Chinese, Portuguese, Dutch and British influences, which echo through the streets of Malacca resonated throughout the hotel, which is based on an original 1920s mansion. We only had one full day to explore the 600-year-old narrow pathways, visit the famous red-brick Dutch colonial buildings with their elaborately decorated rickshaws waiting outside and pore over the antiques of Malacca’s Jonker Street before we headed to our next and final destination, Singapore.





Singapore boasts a fascinating ethnic blend of Chinese, Indian and Muslim cultures set against an ultramodern western backdrop. Our short time was spent frantically visiting a different hotel per day with each giving its distinct, individual flavour and exclusive glimpse into what the notoriously spotless city had to offer. The Pan Pacific Orchard placed us in the heart of Singapore’s shopping Mecca, the Orchard Road, where hidden behind the extravagant high fashion heavyweights we discovered unique boutiques selling exciting treasures, trinkets and one-off goodies. The Serviced Suites, a fifteen-minute stroll away, spoilt us with our very own double storey apartment with three bathrooms, two bedrooms, kitchen and a round the clock personal assistant. We were treated to a Bose home entertainment system, Loewe LCD TV in every room, iPod and wireless broadband connectivity as well as Molton Brown toiletries in both of our sparkling bathrooms. We were invited to visit the hydrotherapeutic spa, chemical-free mineral water pool, state of art fitness centre designed by Technogym, or to unwind in the urban sky gardens.

In fact, the night we stayed at the Serviced Suites, we didn’t even leave the building. Across town, the Pan Pacific flaunted spectacular views of the marina set against the buzzing Singapore cityscape while Hotel Re! with its distinct 60s theme embraced retro deco topped off with matching ultra-kitsch Austin Powers style uniforms for the staff. And that was it. Before we knew it our tour was over and our time was up. We had witnessed ancient traditions and raw untouched natural beauty. We had admired almost futuristic sci-fi skylines and had our eyes widened by the cleanest and filthiest streets around. We had experienced immense luxury and stark poverty and discovered a melting pot of religions and cultures. Best of all, we had truly encountered the unique diversity of the South East and both of us left just wanting to learn and see more. South-East Asia had done itself, and me, proud.



Lords of Luxury

Luxury watchmaker Blancpain has signed a deal with Lamborghini to become the title sponsor of the company’s racing series, which is now named Lamborghini Blancpain Super Trofeo. The all-wheel drive series will take place on wellknown circuits, including Spa-Francorchamps, Paul Ricard and the UK’s Silverstone. The race premiers on British grounds (Silverstone race course) at the first race weekend, which commences on 2nd May. For more information, please visit




A new month of clever little creations to get your techy teeth into words: CLEO DAVIS Crystal Clear Expect this over-sized looking pocket watch to tick tock every box in luxury Swiss-made products. With its beautifully crafted outershell in scratch resistant sapphire granite, the AURA by Motorola also boasts a spotless spec resolution of 300 dpi. Packed with a 16 millioncolour display spectrum…and, one more thing, it is a mobile phone… who would have guess it?? Priced at £1200 from Selfridges.

Cool Beans To some, a cup of coffee in the morning is like putting on underwear, a bare necessity. The Jura Signature Z5 is here to froth up your coffee making routine. Impress overnight guests with a cappuccino, macchiato or ristretto at the touch of a button. The sports car style red leather is just as smooth as the cream on top of the coffee. Those in need of that extra kick will make full use of the strength selection mode. Priced at £75, exclusive to Harrods.

Cyber Hot Ever wanted to be the photographic master of a panoramic skyline to impress your friends, look no further than the Cyber-shot HX1 high-zoom camera by Sony. As well as the sweep panorama mode, it offers a premium quality G Lens, a 20x optical zoom range and an effective resolution of 9.1 megapixels. The “Emor” CMOS sensor is a special little feature to make for better images with reduced noise and two new shooting modes when using high ISO settings; “Handheld Twighlight” and “Anti Motion Blur” mode. For those of you still following the techy jargon…and want to know more, check out this website



THE BURNING PLAIN reviewed by Elizabeth Dickson

My first thought, quickly following the opening credits, was “My God, Oregon’s depressing”. It really is grey as grey can be, and despite the magnificence of some crashing waves (the setting is coastal) Oregon is bleak. I wondered if I’d walked into the wrong viewing room – after all, it was a Guillermo Arriaga film (he brought us 21 Grams, The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada and Babel) so I was expecting sunny Mexican out-backs. I got the Mexican views after about 10 minutes when the film cuts to the Chihuahuan Desert, the juxtaposition making Oregon look all the more dour. The story follows Sylvia (Charlize Theron) who’s a bit manic-depressive and can’t stop slicing her inner thighs, drinking red wine out of pint tumblers and exposing herself to strangers from her bedroom window. She also keeps sleeping with men she can’t stand – one of which is Sex in the City’s Aiden. The story also follows a motherless girl (Tessa La) living in Mexico, who makes burritos while her father has a horrible accident. And because it’s a Guillermo Arriaga film, the story also follows two families mourning the loss of their respective mother and father, burnt alive while doing the dirty in a campervan. If I’ve made this all sound horribly heavy and depressing, apologies, because actually it’s very witty and beautiful amidst the A&E. The performances are, as one would expect, brilliant. None more so than Charlize Theron who, looking better than she does in Monster, manages to recreate Sylvia’s inner turmoil and adult-angst with believability and without facial aesthetics. JD Pardo, who plays teenage Santiago, is so beautiful it was difficult for me to concentrate – from what I can remember, he was great too. Kim Basinger stars as Gina, a desperate housewife embarking on an explosive affair, still looking as attractive (though with weirdly coiffed hair) as she did back in the LA Confidential days. The Burning Plain is a gripping film, moving without being Hollywood sentimental and fast-paced enough to keep plot confusion at bay. I tend to find Arriaga endings slightly frustrating, and this certainly leaves a “What happened after?” taste in the mouth, but The Burning Plain is far more satisfying. It’s Arriaga’s directorial debut, but this film has the essence of being the hands of a big screen professional.



Pigeons in the Park Commercial Circus? Led by entrepreneurial 17-year-old genius Sam Kilkoyne, the Underage Festival for only kool kids under the age of 18 is returning to Victoria Park on Sunday 2nd August. With great line-ups you’ve got to assume that the so-hot-right-now bands of 2009 are tired of playing to 18+ drunken louts. The Pigeon Detectives (yawn), The Whip, Hadouken! and The Chapman Family are just part of the lineup playing on what will hopefully be a hot summer’s day.

V Festival have released their headliners: The Killers, Razorlight, Snow Patrol, Oasis, Fatboy Slim, Elbow (hurrah! Worth getting the tickets for alone), Lady Ga Ga and The Ting Tings. Tickets are already on sale and the festival dates are 22nd and 23rd August. V Festival has a bit of a reputation for being far too commercial – however, with this year’s line-up and last year’s Prodigy going down a storm, V Festival may redeem itself yet.

Forever Young Jacko: Eternally Wacko

Best news of this year: Neil Young is due to release his new album Fork in the Road on 6th April. His single Johnny Magic is out on March 23rd and he’ll hopefully be headlining the Isle of Wight Festival, proving that this beloved rocker isn’t even close to hanging up his fender. Two UK gigs have already been confirmed – Nottingham Trent 23rd June and Aberdeen AECC 24th June. He’s also headlining Glastonbury, more reason (as if you needed it) to get those tickets.

Latest news is that he’s writing posthumous songs to leave as a legacy to his children. Jackson has “all kinds of titles” ready to release after his death, but in the meanwhile he’s going on “a world tour and a series of special appearances”. The performances will be the first public ones since the 20th anniversary solo show in 2001 where he was booed off stage. He was looking relatively healthy at his latest press conference at the O2, where press and fans waited for roughly four hours to hear three minutes of “I love you” and “This is it”.



No More Drama

After a turbulent turn at success, (We Are) Performance front-man Joe Stretch is taking a more sedate approach second time around words by Michael Wylie-Harris photos: camilla treharne



Joe Stretch is in a weird place. A kind of “in-between-things” place. Anyone in his position should be pretty buoyant right now but from the way he’s talking, his mind is anything but made up. Sitting in the courtyard of Brick Lane’s 93 Feet East on an icy February night, Stretch is jittery – and it’s not just the cold. His body language and the non-committal way he discusses the future radiate uncertainty, and as he tells me about the kinds of deals that are being discussed, his scepticism becomes increasingly apparent. ‘Why the self-doubt?’ I find myself thinking. After all, his band is on the verge of signing a lucrative deal with a major recording label. Indeed, by the time you read this, (We Are) Performance could be a household name. It soon emerges, however, that Stretch has been here before. Performance (we’ll drop the ‘We Are’ for now, thank you) have had the ‘next big thing’ treatment in the past only to see it all go up in smoke. This time, they’re not taking anything for granted. The truth is there’s a story behind the band’s previous brush with the big time that explains the singer’s reticence. Three years ago, on the brink of being signed the first time around, Performance went through a series of personal crises that saw them collapse not just as a band, but as a group of people. And as Joe Stretch begins to tell me about the “nightmare year” they had, it transpires that his suspicions lie less with empty record label promises than with the effects that success could have on his band mates. “It was pretty serious,” says the tall, good-looking singer, his intense stare betraying just how uncomfortable he finds the interview process, and his tender northern accent reminding me that not every pop star from Manchester is a budding Liam Gallagher. “It was awful. Some of us were seriously ill; horrendous, mental illness type stuff… depressions and addictions. We couldn’t do it. We had a lot of pressure on us back then. We were kind of being tipped for the top. Now it’s a different thing. To be fair we were always a bit sceptical of that because we were always thinking ‘there’s something wrong here’, you know?” A combination of drug problems and mental illness within the band meant Performance had to leave their first deal with Polydor in 2006. At the time they told people around them the decision to leave came after a fall-out with the label rather than as a result of what they were going through as people. “One thing you have to do with any personal problems – and I’ve never spoken to anyone else about this – is hide them, and we had a very difficult two years hiding truths about ourselves and pretending to be in band when really we were actually just falling apart as individuals. We had to keep it all a secret but it was awful. We didn’t know what else to do because we were young and it was scary. It’s nothing new I suppose. It’s just what happens to people, isn’t it? It’s a maddening place to be.”

Three years on, Performance are “healthy”. Having gone through some dark times they’re once again feeling the buzz of making music together. In 2007 they released an album on Zuma records. A limited edition 1,000-copy bespoke release, it was supposed to mark the end of the band. With the failure at Polydor behind them, they saw the record as a nice way of rounding things off, but following the success of Stretch’s move into the literary world a year later, they were all of a sudden encouraged to make another record – and a re-launch looked more and more likely. With one novel, Friction, out last year and another on its way in 2009, Joe Stretch is now a professional novelist. As is the way with these things, the success of his writing career led to more opportunities for the band and, thus, Performance find themselves with a new album “in the can” and a second major deal very much on the cards. “People were telling us to make a record off the back of the book – you know how these things work,” says Stretch. “And we were all sort of quite healthy and stuff so we thought ‘why not?’ and we did it and it’s gone really well. The band is coming back hard now. It all seems to be going great. I’m very distrustful of it all though. I’m superstitious and I don’t like to believe everything I get told. I prefer not to acknowledge any of that.” And how does it feel the second time around? “It makes you realise not to give a shit about certain things. We’ve had a lot of success in the past and a lot of money thrown at us and it destroyed us as human beings. This time we’re experienced enough to know that if it does all happen as we’ve been told it will, we will know how to deal with it. “Our album is in the can which is why we’ve been able to get a deal basically at a time when not many bands can get a deal. We got invested in and that was great because it was on the back of everything, on the back of the bad years and of everything that happened. They put us in this amazing studio – the management company that was backing it – and we had a great time doing music again. There was a sense of innocence and there was a sense of getting stuff off our chests. The whole thing was about redeeming our horrendous pasts. Not in a grand way. Not to give it any gravitas. It doesn’t need any gravitas. That’s just what it’s been about personally. It feels good now. We don’t give a shit and we’re really happy making this record. I’ve become the type of person I never thought I’d become, talking about rejuvenation and stuff, but that’s how it’s really been.” Stretch describes Performance as “a life” rather than a band. He knows it’s a cliché, but given their longevity (now 27, Stretch has known certain members since he was 11) and what they’ve been through, there’s a bond and a sense of shared experience that holds them together tighter than



your average first-time-around band. Musically, it’s easy to see why they’ve never been far from the gaze of a major label executive. Recent single, O, Surgeon is catchy electro pop. Suitably heavy on bass and synths and, like most of what they do, adorned with hooks of infectiously grand proportions, it pays more than a respectful wink to 80s heroes, New Order. Stretch’s considered lyrics pay their dues to another hero, Morrissey, and remind you that despite the obvious ability to write a stick-in-the-head pop chorus, this is a band that have been through a few things and actually have something to say. Stretch tells me that lyrically he’s “thrown everything he has” at the latest record and it shows. O, Surgeon hints at astral, metaphysical themes while retaining an overall grounded perspective that is typically northern, and on other songs such as future single Let’s Start, lines like “After all the injury, nothing means that much to me,” show that this is a writer who knows how to turn life-experience into pop gold. Being from Manchester is clearly something that has shaped the Performance sound too and Stretch admits that the musical heritage of the city is an inescapable force: “New Order and Joy Division, and increasingly The Smiths on the new album – they are all influences. You can’t get away from it when you’re from Manchester like we are. We see it as a positive thing really,” he says. Despite being clearly committed to the band, the singer is also a committed novelist and lectures in Creative Writing at Kiel University. He tells me that these days he prefers everything to be “concrete”. He loves writing, gets a


thrill out of teaching and has another novel to get finished this year. “We’ve played to thousands of people at festivals and I’ve had more adrenalin talking about creative writing to 21-year-olds,” he laughs. I’m not an old man though, I just like boring stuff. I like neat and tidy nowadays. I live a very clean life. I just don’t leave my flat really. Just calm stuff. I’m more of a language nerd. I do love singing though. I love the band and the people in it. I do work really hard for it. I just don’t like believing in it all. I like control. If I dream about stuff then I become really unproductive and I have to write whenever I can these days. I wanna deliver another novel at the end of this year basically, so if I start thinking, ‘Oh wow, for the next two years I’m gonna be swanning around the world playing in bands,’ then I won’t do anything, and if it doesn’t happen I’ll go ‘Oh, I forgot to do anything’.” At times Joe Stretch sounds like he might just rather turn his back on musical fame. Given what he’s been through, the scepticism is understandable, but I get the impression that – underneath the fey coyness – there’s a star that can’t wait to embrace the limelight. By the end of our meeting I get the impression he’s still in that in-betweenthings place, though I do get him to concede that being a rock star might not be that bad a thing after all. “Anyone who says that you don’t need positive feedback is full of shit,” he admits. “We want people to love our music. We want intense appeal. I don’t know about the general public. I’m sure they’re lovely. We’ll see.” A sceptic to the end...



Sounds of the Underground

interview: Charlotte Jones

Queen of Breaks, Annie Nightingale was the first female to join Radio 1, and since the death of John Peel in 2004, is the station’s longest serving DJ. She began her career hanging out with The Beatles, The Rolling Stones and The Who and has travelled all over the world. More recently, she has been a major champion of breaks music, both on her early morning Saturday radio show, and at festivals. In 2002, she became the only female DJ to have been honoured with a MBE, and in 2004, was inducted into the Radio Academy Hall of Fame What have you been up to so far this year? Well, I have big news and you will have to excuse me because I’m really quite thrilled. We have an event every year called the International Breakspoll Awards which are like the Oscars of breaks, and this year, I won two awards which was amazing. It was quite unexpected. I won the award for best radio show which I won for the fourth consecutive year but I actually really was thinking, ‘No, this won’t happen again!’ so I was really surprised about that. Then I won the Outstanding Contribution to Breakbeat Music award as well, and within the genre you think, ‘Well, so what?’ but it’s a massive accolade for people involved in this kind of music. How has breaks evolved? What I think is really coming through at the moment is basslines. It’s a very exciting genre which has all come out of drum and bass. I am very proud about breaks


because it is indigenous to the UK. It has taken twenty years to go mainstream, as did hip hop. It seems ridiculous with all the media we have, and all the ways we have of communicating music, that it still takes a while for something specialist and original to get into the mainstream. But that is fine – if it takes that long, it takes that long. Will breaks keep evolving? Out of drum and bass came breaks and now basslines which is very fast, furious and exciting. That is what keeps one interested. There are constant changes all the time and you never know which way it is going to turn or which particular sound will be picked up. It just keeps on evolving. We are very lucky in the UK that it happens here more than other countries. It has to come from the underground which is why I have always supported the underground because that is where original ideas come from. Breaks has been going for a long while and then it gets called different names such as tear-out. There are all these sub-genres over which people get very snobby – I find it ridiculous really. The big crossover moment was last year when Pendulum, who took up the mantel from Prodigy in a way, released their In Silico album. It was very successful and they played every festival. Are there any mainstream artists or artists who have seeped into the mainstream that have caught your eye? There are overground things I like. I like Lily Allen very much – she has had such a huge success and she is such a talented songwriter. I find it difficult to get so excited

MUSIC about the reality shows because the style is so unoriginal. Someone like Lily is such a breath of fresh air. She says what she thinks and there has not been anyone like that for ages. So we have someone like her in the mainstream who has been number one for a month and then we have a very exciting underground. Do you have a busy year ahead of you with festival performances? I am performing at Snowbombing, the first festival of the year, in April. Then there is one in Seville, Spain, in May and they go right through to the end of September. Obviously we are yet to know how many festivals there will be this year and how the credit crunch will affect the smaller ones. I think the big ones will survive. Is there one particular festival which makes the season for you? I always do the opening at Glastonbury festival because there is a Breaks party on the Thursday night and it is amazing. You think no one will turn up but they come from everywhere. I suppose people think if they are going to make a big weekend of it, they may as well get there for the beginning. So that really is the most unique experience. However, I went to the Big Chill for the first time last year and I thought that was great. I find festival crowds are very open. I like to play at about five in the afternoon, before people get too wasted. You can see everybody. When you play in the daylight, you can see everyone jumping up and down, whether it is raining or not, and you can see them having a great time. Then you get back into the clubs in the autumn and it is just so dark, you can’t see anybody. It is a very strange sensation. So breaks is the kind of music I play and that seems to work at festivals. I do not know why but I think it encompasses a lot of genres without trying to compromise itself. With breaks seeping into the mainstream more and more, do you think there has been a backlash against indie music which is just no good to party to? I think if music is good, it is good – I do not particularly care what genre it is. I do not particularly care if I am listening to a band or a solo artist. There is too much emphasis perhaps on music genres. It is about good music and good performances. Everybody is in, or was in, a band, especially at school. Unfortunately, an awful lot of them are not very good. Internet sites such as MySpace have democratised music wonderfully but if everybody is in a band, we cannot follow all of them. It becomes more difficult to find the very best. I have spent my whole life collecting CDs, I have them everywhere, all over the floor, but 90% of what I listen to, I do not think is good enough for my radio show. It is alright because I can find the good stuff but there is so much more around than there used to be. People can put their own CDs out and not rely on record companies, which in many ways is very good. Unfortunately, it does mean there is an awful lot of stuff out there and it is more difficult for the good stuff swing to the top. As a role model, what advice would you offer to those that want to get into the music industry? Most people say they do not like to be called a role model, but all I would say is you have to be prepared to work very hard, much more than I did at the beginning. I always like to believe if you have talent you will be found. You never know who is out there. You have really got to want to succeed. It is unbelievable the amount of promotion you have to do. Whether you want to be on X Factor or you want to perform at Glastonbury, it is an awful lot of work. I wonder if people knew that whether they would still want to do it. But you cannot really answer that because it depends on the individual. So many people want to be stars or famous, but I think you need to have a real passion for what you do, otherwise you will lose heart. I think what can happen is you think you want to do one thing but somewhere along the line you will get an opportunity to do something, possibly related, in the area you love. How did you get into music? There was a point when I had to make a choice between fashion and music. They were pulling me in different directions but music won. I’m still very interested in

fashion, as most of us are, but the music won out. I love music but I cannot sing and I could never play an instrument. I started off by looking after a band and trying to get them on television, but instead, a producer said he was looking for a presenter. That is how it happened to me. You may be aiming in one direction and you may end up somewhere a little bit different but doing something you can do. If you find something you love doing, you are reasonably good at it and you do not particularly mind working incredibly hard, that is it really. You have travelled all over the world. Which region’s music are you excited about at the moment? Eastern Europe is a most interesting area and we will see a lot more coming from there in the future. If you take Russia for example, their culture, if you think about their musical history, it is incredible. I was very thrilled at this year’s Breakspoll Awards; Lady Waks, a Russian DJ and producer, won the Best Breakthrough Producer Award. I was so pleased because breaks tends to be full of blokes, but also because she’s a Russian as well. This initial success will give her so much exposure – it will be great for her. Breaks tends not to have any lyrics so it tends not to have a language problem or barrier so anyone can enjoy it and have a go. Do you enjoy the festivals in Eastern Europe? I went to the Exit festival at Novi Sad in Serbia with Radio 1 once and that was brilliant. They are very passionate people. I have played in Poland and in Romania. In fact, I have visited Romania many times. I just seem to keep going back. I am really interested in that country, its history and culture. Sziget in Hungary is great too. It’s more of a rock festival. One year, the storms followed us all around Europe and at Novi Sad where there is a huge castle, there was so much lightening it was just like a Frankenstein movie. What does the next year have in store for you? Next year I am going to curate part of the Electric Proms which is incredibly exciting. We are looking at all kinds of possibilities and events. It will be a combination of art inspiration and events. I am just collecting a lot of ideas at the moment. There may be a book and some television to go with that, but I am being cautious because until you have signed the deal, you never know. What I am going to curate I am not sure yet, but I am looking into all kinds of things which reflect the music I have always been into: some basslines, some breaks, and some artists that have been around longer. It should be amazing. Are you still the first one on the floor and last to slide under the table? I do not know. It is quite a quote to live up to. Sometimes. The thing is, there is more work nowadays than there used to be. There is so much media that you spend your life on social networking sites, or at least I do! I have just got onto Twitter and I love iTunes. I think that it has taken over everyone’s lives hugely. The first time I went to the Miami Winter Music Conference, I went to this brilliant party on a boat and we were throwing each other overboard. We were just being British and having fun, not doing anything terrible, but it got in the papers. They said we had drunk more vodka than they normally got through in three weeks and I just thought, ‘What? These are just English club promoters having a good time!’ It really was not that outrageous but it was the best year I went. The following year I thought, ‘Ok, we can do a broadcast from there and it then becomes work’. What is your most expensive and mad idea yet? I have a great thing about doing shows from the top of towers which is great fun. We went to the BT tower, Berlin, Portsmouth – there are towers all over the world but it is a very expensive process. I get these mad ideas and then you have another mad idea. Of course, I like to have fun. Everyone does. I think the work I do takes up more and more of the time I used to spend partying so I just think up crazy ideas. Mad ideas do not always come off, but if you do not try, you do not get. The more work there is, the more there is to do; there is less time for partying but I am very glad I have so much to do.



RUM, CIGARS AND RUBBER We did a shoot at the Village Underground, just off Great Eastern Street a few months ago. ANGLOMANIA returned for a party hosted by the lovely people at Converse. We loved this night: a graffiti battle where artists had 100 minuets to fill one wall, then the winner was voted by the audience. We were given Cuban dollars to buy our drinks with and had more than enough rum. The place was packed out with beautiful people and great Havana influenced music treats blaring from the sound systems.




THE PEARLY GATES ANGLOMANIA attended the launch party of The Queen of Hoxton this month, a bar-cum-performance space that epitomises the soul of the East End. The Queen will be a platform for local artists, musicians and designers, with DJs to karaoke, fringe theatre to live bands. The launch had David E Sugar, Crystal Fighters playing live, Filthy Dukes, as well as Kate Moross, Pixie Geldof and Henry Holland DJing. The ANGLOMANIA team loved the loos where the ‘washroom gallery’ displayed emerging graduate talent from Goldsmiths and Central St Martins students who have created on-off original work to adorn the walls. Beats “Shelly hearts Dan”. Music was great, Sanjay from Eastenders couldn’t stop touching Cleo’s hair, and the bar was nicely stocked. Look out for Queen of Hoxton March events line-up.




Spirited Away Painter? Sculptor? Filmmaker? Rather than forcing Barnaby Hosking into a box, we should apply his principles of fluidity and reflection to our own lives, says Tania Doorn




Life today is a constant hubbub of activity and noise, the culprit, it would seem, of our increasing stress levels. I, like the majority of society today, blamed the clamour of my life for my perpetual anxious existence – that is until I met Barnaby Hosking. Barnaby invited me to take part in an experimental performance piece he was conducting at the Royal Academy in London’s Piccadilly. Each individual was asked to sit quietly in a room for an hour, using the time to meditate and attempt to find an area of calm in what is otherwise a very hectic world. I must admit at this point that my interest stemmed mainly from the challenge this task would pose to me as a ‘non-meditator’ and a person who exists on her nerves. As my time approached, the prospect of an hour alone without a watch, my phone or even another person to talk to became increasingly daunting. Quickly absorbing my surroundings as I walked into the performance space I saw a large stone fire place flanked by a chair and faced by what I later discovered was a meditation cushion. Being a meditation virgin I had very little idea of where to begin with my task and wandered around the room for a few minutes before finally settling on a spot in the centre of the space. Uncomfortable with the idea of sitting rigidly for an hour I decided to lie down to begin my vigil. As my initial discomfort waned I started to focus on some of the inspirational texts Barnaby had sent me in order to prepare for the performance: “The sole cause of man’s unhappiness is that he does not know how to stay quietly in his room”. Contemplating this sentence, an idea began to evolve in my mind. What if the continual stresses and strains that I encounter in my everyday life are not the fault of the world I live in? Horror of horrors, was I in fact culpable? I suddenly experienced a shift in my head, a change in my whole outlook; the negative energy many of us put into moaning about our existences is the result of a personal blunder. Many of us are stuck in this cycle of harmful behaviour, little knowing that by simply refusing to be a part of the stress of life we can to a large extent escape it. Barnaby’s experiment forced me to stop: something we rarely do today and thus we seldom allow ourselves the time to think. From experience I can now say it’s a beneficial activity. I intend to stop much more often in future. After this experience I was keen to continue my spiritual education with Barnaby and so arranged to meet him the following week at his studio in Dalston, a

stone’s throw away from the notoriously ‘arty’ districts of Shoreditch and Hoxton. He intrigued me. I still hadn’t been able to categorise his work into one comfortable genre. An hour or two nosing around his studio and exploring some of his other projects appeared to offer the ideal opportunity to discover exactly what it is that makes Barnaby ‘tick’. I soon learned that not only could I not label Barnaby’s work under one particular heading but that it would in fact be reductive to do so. After ten years as a practicing artist in the capital, Barnaby has explored his craft beyond the limits imposed by many profit-chasing galleries. He does not constrict himself to one subject or medium. In fact, he explained to me that it is more the “blurring between media” that interests him. For example, in his summer 2008 exhibition at the Max Wigram Gallery on New Bond Street, he explored the difference between process and product by filming the method of creating a sculpture. What, he asked me, was the by-product: the film or the sculpture, and did this automatically mean that it was the lesser of the two creations? Once again Barnaby had me thinking. This has been something that has continually interested him. He showed me some extraordinary film footage of a trip to Norway, a desolate yet beautiful white-out landscape with a minute figure frantically painting in the centre of the screen. The film was silent and moving, a work of art in itself, yet we must not forget the piece in production in front of our very eyes. I believe what Barnaby is encouraging us to do is relinquish our supposed need to assess art in terms of value, in both the artistic and monetary sense. We have unfortunately made art a commodity, something Barnaby believes is the fault of the spending frenzy of the last few years. The credit crunch which is affecting all of us is in Barnaby’s mind no bad thing. He explained to me that it has “tapered quality control”, meaning that artists like him are able to experiment and undermine boundaries without the pressure from galleries and buyers to sell, sell, sell. Once again, this man surprised me. The many different facets to him are reflected in his work. I would never be able to describe Barnaby Hosking as anything other than uniquely interesting; his refreshing opinions on the world around him and on human behaviour spurred us on to a very enjoyable discussion on psychological theories. I forgot I was with him to do a job and relaxed with a cup of tea to while away an hour or so of utterly absorbing conversation.





On the

Art Walk


Fashion flutterby Albie Espinola is not unknown among the London fashion crowd. The Central St Martins graduate is easy to spot with his blonde mohawk and directional style of dress, and is likely to be seen happily trawling around every Fashion Week show in search for his next artistic subject. To date, his fashion art has featured in Tatler, USA Today and Hello Magazine How long have you been painting as a professional? I’ve been a professional artist for the last few years but have excelled at art all my life. It is something that from a young age I aspired to do. This is my dream job and I’m so proud standing on my own, getting known as a fashion artist. Where did you get the idea of painting catwalk models? And is it just an excuse to stare at beautiful women?? When I started producing fashion shows, I did paintings of the models from the shows and gave it to them as a thank you for doing the show. I couldn’t afford to pay them what they normally get so I would give them something personal, a one off which was from the heart to show my appreciation. Which model was the easiest and which was the hardest to paint? Do you have a favourite? It’s easier to paint someone I don’t know rather than someone I know well. Close friends especially are the hardest to capture, as memories and thoughts of the person as well as having an image of how they look in my mind can affect how I paint. When I don’t know the model well, I think more of the shapes and imagine their personality, which hopefully shows through. However, the paintings I’ve done of my friend, model Nathalie Quere, were the easiest and quickest as she is the nicest person you could ever hope to meet so I had a good time painting her. I have two favourite models, and they are Lily Donaldson and Jourdan Dunn. Do you show your subject your artwork? And if so, who? What was their reaction? The models get to see the paintings in person if they are in London. Otherwise, I’ll email a photo of it to them, their agencies or the designer they did the show for. They are all on my website I also make videos from beginning to end of the art and post onto YouTube. The paintings get around quite a bit and are on various fashion/art websites. The reaction from the models is usually of surprise and they are happy that someone has done a painting of them. Have you ever had anyone approach you to paint them? I get approached all the time for paintings. I go to all the shows during fashion week as an artist/writer with the designers wanting me to do paintings from their shows. Johnny Blue Eyes personally called me recently because he loves the paintings and wants me at his show to “do my stuff”. How do you choose your subject? My art is about capturing moments in my life. Each piece is coded with personal memories, which a lot of the time is hidden. When choosing models from a show, I paint top models who most rocked on the catwalk in what they were wearing. I also choose models from shows that I had a lot of fun at. Moreover, when painting

the models from the shows, each piece of art brings back memories from who I was with, what I did that day and how I felt. My website details my life in words and photographs but the art seems superficial to everyone… except me. With friends, I paint those who inspire me; each has something within them that I admire. Have you ever caught the eye of a private buyer? I’ve got a huge database of people from buyers, fashion, entertainment and countless businesses that receive my e-mails every week about my art and life so that’s how I stay in everyone’s minds. I either sell my work or get a lot of work from it. Is there anyone you wouldn’t like to paint? I wouldn’t want to paint anyone negative or anyone who has hurt me. As long as they are good people and doing something cool, I’d happily paint them. Does your work give you access to a lot of designers and celebs? My work gets me around. I get invited to a lot of events, performances, openings and parties all the time, which keeps me so busy. A lot of my work is being social so ties hand in hand. Would you like to be painted? If so, who by? Of all artists, I’d love to be painted by Gustav Klimt. He’s a true master and I love his style. Check out his website: Pieces start from £149



Sportsmen of Substance Olivia Gagan examines the reasons behind athletes’ increasing use of performance-enhancing drugs

The mental health of sports stars is not something that tends to be given much space or time in the back pages, player profiles and post-match analyses on radio talk shows. In general, the only time it is given media dominance over player earnings or athletes’ record times is when something extreme happens; when a sportsperson has shown extraordinary mental fortitude (think of the media hype surrounding Lance Armstrong) or has crashed and burned, British footballer Paul Gascoigne being an obvious example. The everyday human strains that we all experience – exhaustion, confusion, lack of motivation – are rarely given credence or coverage. Ghostwriters pay lip service to players’ ‘dark periods’ in clichéd autobiographies, but this is the most reference you will find to the challenges faced by sportsmen and women. Rarely discussed is the fact that the demands placed upon an athlete to perform stronger and faster, to shave off that extra half a millisecond, can create psychological pressures all of their own. Ostensibly sporting achievements are measures of the body rather than the mind, but it is undeniable that when representing the hopes (and the funding) of your country, large demands are placed upon the psyche as well. Performance has to be improved on or at the very least sustained, and the mental attributes prized within sports – endurance, stamina, self-belief – are not always available in limitless supply. With a short career life expectancy, the clock is always ticking for athletes and it is easy to see how performance-enhancing drugs can become an alluring method of extending the limitations of one’s own strength and ability. The use of such drugs, however, is met with disgust for the most part by sports fans and leads to career-culling penalties when discovered by sporting authorities. That their use has become so widespread is a reason for debate – why risk the


disapproval of your fellow athletes and the dismay of your fans, let alone the physical and mental risks associated with drug use? Their usage is evidence of the complex choices faced by athletes throughout their career trajectories and raises questions as to the ethics, definitions, and nature of sportsmanship itself. As records in sport continue to be broken, with the thresholds of human sporting ability consistently breaking its boundaries, it would appear that we’re only getting better at sport, not worse. Improvements in our diets, healthcare, life expectancy, facilities, and the rise of professional sportsmen and women as opposed to amateurs most probably play a large part in the trend. However, a factor which many are quick to pass over, or play down, is the contribution of performanceenhancing drugs to some of our most recent world sporting records. That the use of drugs within athletics is rife was exposed in a controversial interview with Victor Conte in 2004. Founder and president of the US sports nutrition centre Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO), Conte worked as a ‘nutritionist’ with many of the world’s most prolific and popular sportsmen and women, Britain’s Dwain Chambers being amongst them. In the landmark conversation, Conte claimed in an interview broadcast across US TV (and subsequently worldwide) that “the Olympic Games are a fraud. The whole history of the games is just full of corruption, cover-up, and performance-enhancing drug use. It’s not what the world thinks it is”. The cocktails of steroids, stimulants, and growth hormones he supplied to his stable of athletes, which included five-time Olympic gold sprint medallist Marion Jones and American baseball hero Barry Bonds, suddenly tainted the recent history of the progression of human athletic ability at a professional level, casting aspersions on the sporting prowess and achievements of some of the world’s


most revered and respected sportspeople. Most worrying was Conte’s attitude towards the drugs he gave his athletes and towards the athletes themselves. In an open letter to UK Athletics, he sounded more like a drugs pusher than a nutritionist – when describing “the whole enchilada” of Chamber’s prescription, the tone was more one of an insider brazenly attempting to explain how professional athletics really operates than a shamed man attempting to vindicate his actions. Many athletes claimed that Conte was not clear about what he was giving them with tubs labelled ‘flaxseed oil’ and ‘joint rub’ enabling them to pass undetected through customs. Steroid THG – nicknamed ‘The Clean’ due to its failure to show up on drugs tests – was one of the substances Chambers had tested positive for. Speaking of the time in which he was under Conte’s supervision, Chambers claims he carried enough drugs with him “to kill an elephant and I didn’t have a clue whether they were legal or not”. Use of synthetic versions of the male hormone testosterone (anabolic steroids) was found to have been used by Marion Jones at the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Conte’s techniques were met with widespread and vehement criticism from the British athletics community, yet camps are divided within the upper levels of British athletics itself. Some athletes are sympathetic to Chambers and willing to consider his comeback but chairman of the London 2012 Organising Committee Sebastian Coe has remained unmoved and refuses to entertain the possibility of Chambers participating in the 2012 Olympics. Fellow athletes including Dame Kelly Holmes have called for Chamber’s removal from the Great Britain athletics squad, claiming “he needs to… realise why people don’t believe he should be in the sport”. This is one of the most damaging aspects of drugs use on a wider scale – the tarnished reputation that the profession has to endure and the breakdown of public and professional trust and interest. Part of the thrill of watching extraordinary bodies performing at their very peak is that it offers us a rare glimpse of the breathtaking capabilities of the human form – and when those capabilities are proven to be chemically enhanced, we generally tend to feel betrayed. Sport is also one of the few areas of public life left where ‘values’ matter; to tune into a post-match radio debate on a Saturday afternoon is to hear the everyman fuming over the alleged treachery of a player in his loss of temper on the pitch; to read the reactions of internet message boards towards disgraced cyclists; is to realise how, for many, the element of honour and the ethical choices of the players are almost as important as the physicality of the activity. Yet society prizes the ‘superman’ and the ‘superwoman’, and this means that super-drugs may be necessary in order to feed our fascination with incredible bodies. In wrestling sports such as those run under the World Wrestling Federation, there is little or no objection to the use of performance enhancers – indeed, the use of steroids is almost a prerequisite in order to be able to compete effectively. The lack of artifice (ironically in a sport which is for the most part staged) means that audiences are not left feeling cheated. Mickey Rourke’s character in this year’s film The Wrestler gives some indication of the way in which such sportsmen are idealised: Rourke’s portrayal of the battered, drug abused and abusive, but-open-about-it fighter Randy ‘The Ram’ Robinson won widespread praise, and was deemed a likeable character by critics and moviegoers alike. And so, perhaps the answer is greater transparency. If it is not the drug use itself but the concealment of it that causes widespread disapproval, then if athletes are open in their use, at least everybody knows where they stand. The problem then becomes how to define sporting achievement. Is it the person with the best ‘nutritionist’? (A euphemism if ever there was one). Such ‘nutrition’ costs a lot of money and could price many talented young athletes out of the game. Sporting achievement will become a complex equation of natural ability and scientific wizardry, with it becoming increasingly difficult to separate and delineate the two. When considering the psychological reasoning behind taking performance-

enhancing drugs, the issues become even further compounded. To take performance-enhancing drugs is a form of control that diminishes an important constituent of sport, perhaps the one that compels us to participate in the first place: the element of chance, of risk. Sport is an activity in which the outcome may offer us either pleasure or pain – the pleasure of winning, of being admired for our physical and mental stamina and prowess, or the psychological pain of losing, the slight on our capacities. To take a steroid is to ensure that you have an advantage over your fellow competitors that has nothing to do with hard-won strength borne of long gym sessions and years spent improving weaknesses and honing skills. Yet is it possible to create an absolutely level playing field? At what point does one distinguish between an isotonic drink and a ‘performance-enhancing fluid’? In order to create at least a semblance of equality, it has to be all or nothing: either all athletes are free to actively use performance-enhancing drugs or they all shun them. Either option is impossible to implement. The use of drugs testing is useful but never comprehensive; there will always be a new drug that can slip the net, with those athletes who choose not to take drugs being set at an inevitable disadvantage. Conte argued that because substance abuse has always taken place within sports, the field has always been more or less level. Whilst many argue that the ever-increasing plethora of chemical enhancers available to athletes is simply the natural continuation of human scientific advance – the inevitable growth of an area of sport that started with the original Olympiads eating cola plants to improve performance – there are other arguments to consider. Ironically, as we take more and more chemicals, it appears that as a nation we are still unwilling to accept the use of drugs to improve sporting performance. The western world in particular consumes a dizzying array of medications, supplements, uppers, downers and levellers. As society progresses, it seems that we’re getting worse and the drugs are getting better. Attitudes in America, it would seem, differ from those on home soil. The UK’s ambivalent relationship to drugs technology differs to the US as it more readily appears to embrace scientific progress. Different too is the American attitude towards sports stars that have fallen from grace. The recent exposure of Michael Phelps’ use of cannabis demonstrates the difficulties in unequivocally condemning athletes who take drugs – the alleged substance abuse took place off-season and could surely have had only a detrimental effect on his swimming. So should he be castigated for something undertaken in (supposedly) private surroundings in a situation divorced from his professional life? There is a culture of allowing those who have fallen down to get back up again and make a legitimate comeback; one only has to look at Bill Clinton and Martha Stewart to know that these pillars of American popular culture became even more American when they rose, phoenixlike, from the ashes of their previous misdemeanours. Phelps’ misdemeanour has been met with more sympathy than his British athletic counterparts and it would seem that the US has a more forgiving approach to those found to have broken the rules. And so the role of drugs in international sports is a deeply complicated one, in which easy answers cannot be quickly extricated, but it is imperative that further discussion and debate take place in order to understand the impetuses, the possibilities and the pitfalls of drug usage in sport, not just by the sporting commissions and authorities, but by its participants, observers, coaches and academics. Undoubtedly, by the 2012 Olympics new performance drugs will have been developed – what is not so certain is how attitudes towards those athletes who have taken such substances might change, and towards the definition of sport itself. Sport is at a crossroads. It can either take the chemical or the clean route, but the current situation is one where it is practically impossible to accurately judge sporting achievement. The playing field might never have been level and it may never be, but the players at least ought to know where they stand, both with themselves and each other.





The Champagne Socialists words by Amy Tipper-Hale

Vintage champagne and modern art: the play-toys of wealthy investors, socialites and bankers with taste? Not anymore. The investors have fled to sunnier economic climates, the socialites are hiding away on yachts ’til it all goes away, and the bankers are downsizing – big time. Hedonistic humanitarians need not despair; some of us are still having fun. According to political blogger Guido Fawkes, Lord Myners (the newly-appointed City Minister) and his wife recently invited art world luvvies, political movers and the Guardian crew to their home in Belgravia to enjoy an envy-inducing viewing of their multi-million pound modern art collection. How lovely. A little crass, perhaps, considering the recent sweep of unemployment and the heavy hammer of National Debt, but why shouldn’t they enjoy an innocent shindig? Sadly, because Mr Myners can’t keep his trap shut regarding what a fantastically liberal liberal he is – “I have met more masters of the universe than I would like to; people who were grossly over-rewarded and did not recognise that. Some of that is pretty unpalatable. They are the people who have no sense of the broader society around them” – the whole thing smacks of hypocrisy and the smug self-righteousness we’ve come to expect from New Labour. Why anyone would assume that Labour are more “in touch” with the ruffian classes is beyond me. I know John Prescott reportedly loved Spam (presumably before vomiting it back up again as a ‘sufferer’ of bulimia nervosa), Blair was great mates with Oasis and they all love state-run stuff like the NHS but I can hardly imagine Lord Myners actually hugging a hoodie, and I don’t blame him. Lord and Lady Myners’ champagne-socialist misdemeanour is rather quaint by Government standards. My favourite cash blunder this month is a tossup between Alistair Darling and buffoon Jacqui Smith. Under the Commons Additional Costs Allowance (ACA) Jacqui has claimed £116,000 between 2001 and 2007 on her second home, which is actually her first home where two children and, I suspect, a long-suffering husband abide in some unattractive West Midlands hell-hole. Apparently, according to Jacqui on GMTV, “The thing with us MPs, if you are going to serve your constituents you have to have two houses.” Quite. Her alleged first home, where she needs to spend most of her time or ‘more nights than any other’ in to claim ACA, is her sister’s three-bedroom terraced house in South London, where she has one room. This is, of course, a total load of rubbish. We all know that Jacqui is speeding up the M1 whenever she can, and that the West Midland abode is, for some unfathomable reason, her ‘first home’. Oh Jacqui. Which leads us on to Alistair Darling. My favourite thing about Alistair is that whilst he’s bludgeoning the British economy to death, we are reassured that his own personal property portfolio is looking mighty fine. He is one of four Scottish MPs claiming tens of thousands of pounds in public money

for “second homes” as well as renting out other flats in London. I’m rather partial to Scottish MPs – I think they’re so overexcited about having the right to a constituency in the first place that they can’t help but slip up occasionally. The other three cash haggises are John Reid (former Home Secretary), Charles Kennedy (world’s second favourite drunk politician after Ken Livingstone) and Tommy McAvoy (Government Whip and jammy little chancer). Next time you start groaning at your pay cheque, and then hurry to reassure yourself with images of the young getting the much-needed cancer treatment on the NHS six months overdue, or young mums getting breast surgery after young Alfie sucked them south, think instead of Alistair Darling’s taxpayer-funded perks and hope with all your heart he’s enjoying the £1 million family home claimed as his “second house”. Brown has broken a commons rule over a “technicality” – poor forgetful Brown neglected to declare £1,600 in rent from subletting his constituency office to Labour party colleagues. Luckily he’s been really honest about the affair since being busted by investigator John Lyon, so he’s been excused after saying sorry. I would usually rant about how this seems rather suspect – he’s been given a constituency home, but obviously doesn’t really need it if he’s palming it off for cash to his mates – but quite frankly, Brown’s recently had more bad exposure than testicles at a Highland Fling, and I really can’t be bothered. I can’t even be bothered to get annoyed at Jack Straw’s 17th Century Inigo Jones mansion surrounded by 3,500 acres of land that he still lives in, despite it being the official residence of British Foreign Secretaries, a job he got fired from due to shameful negligence of any type of common sense. What I can be bothered to get upset about, however, is that Smith, Darling, Reid, McAvoy, Kennedy and Brown haven’t broken any laws per se – they’ve just exploited them. I don’t think they’ve intentionally been malicious, more that they’ve forgotten why they’re where they are in the first place. The most common government epidemic is a mild dementia when it comes to remembering that they’re there to work for the people and not the other way around. It’s a fundamental disregard for the rules and regulations that are in place to ensure that positions of power are not abused. Lax regulations meant that Jacqui Smith could exploit a loophole worth £24,000 a year in order to subsidise her “second home”. Jacqui has been quoted as saying that she “played by the rules” when questioned over the allegations. She shouldn’t be “playing” with anything – not the taxpayers’ money or the rules of government subsidisation. What should be happening is MPs finding one reasonably priced flat near their constituency (if need be) or, better yet, they move. Like the rest of us do when we’re offered a job somewhere else, even if it’s miles from our gran, a good school or a post office.



Cold Conflict As Russia and the US struggle to regain credibility on the world stage, could we be facing a new Cold War? words by OLIVIA GAGAN



This year, Germany and most of the world will celebrate the 20th anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall. Built in 1961, the wall became a physical symbol of the very real socio-politico-economic and ideological divide between East and West during the Cold War; the West was capitalist while in the East, political regimes labelled as communist held control. However, it is important to remember that the term was merely a label. In reality, what actually existed were dictatorships of a new emerging elite rather than of the proletariat. Moreover, the struggle between East and West had little to do with ideology, particularly as time progressed. Instead, between 1945 and 1991 the Cold War proved to be no more than a period of competition between the two superpowers, the Soviet Union and the United States of America, for world domination and superiority masked in the guise of ideological rhetoric. However, due to the closed borders and limited flow of knowledge in both directions, citizens in the USSR and the West truly believed that ideology was the basis for the struggle. Recently, there has been much debate as to whether or not the recent heightened tensions between Russia and the West, in this case, the USA and Britain, could be considered as a New Cold War. Championing this theory is Edward Lucas, the East Europe Correspondent at The Economist and author of the book The New Cold War. While Lucas would not be foolish enough to suggest that this supposedly New Cold War is based upon former ideological beliefs, or at the least, those capitalist and communist labels, the suggestion that tensions have resurfaced to the level of those which existed even during thaw periods between 1945 and 1991 seems absurd if not downright scaremongering. Those who grew up during the particularly hot periods of the Cold War, no matter how young they were at the time, will recall the national campaigns regarding what to do in the instance of a nuclear attack and their utter fear at the prospect of nuclear war. Presently, such awareness among today’s youth simply does not exist, and ultimately, would be unnecessary. Neither the puppet-and-master combination of Medvedev and Putin nor Obama have their fingers on a button ready to launch missiles. The only button the Russian and American administrations appear to have their finger on is a reset button which Secretary of State Hillary Clinton recently presented to Russian Foreign Minister Sergei Lavrov. Obama was quick to reach out to Moscow in the hope to forge better relations and help to stem Russia’s influence over Germany, Russia’s greatest European ally with regard to European Union and NATO decisions. Notwithstanding, there have been renewed anxieties: for example, in 2008, Russia invaded Georgia; there is the ongoing issue of Russian missiles deployed in Kaliningrad; and the US army has been removed from a military base in Kyrgyzstan. Nevertheless, these are relatively minor events compared to those during the Cold War such as the Cuban Missile Crisis of the 1960s or the struggle to create and maintain a sphere of influence in Afghanistan in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Present day political rhetoric and military actions on both sides appear to be no more than the two superpowers attempting to regain some credibility. Neither the USA nor the USSR has the political, economic or military clout they once had and both are acutely aware of the rise of China and India as economic and/or military powerhouses, not to mention the problem of an Iran with a nuclear capability. If a New Cold War were indeed underway, would Europe, particularly Britain, have welcomed Russian oligarchs such as Abramovich or Lebedev as owners of Chelsea football club and the Evening Standard respectively? If a new Cold War were in full swing, as Lucas has argued in the House of Lords, would Lebedev and his fellow multi-millionaires and billionaires have befriended members of Britain’s high society such as former editor of Tatler Geordie Grieg and employed him

as editor of The Evening Standard? At the other end of the scale, while Russia has made getting a visa to visit the country slightly more difficult, it is still entirely possible and many British youths visit Eastern European countries, particularly those still outside the Euro zone, for cheap holidays. If a Cold War really did exist, gaining entry into Russia would still be difficult, even highly dangerous. During the original Cold War, Russia and the USSR were completely sealed off from the rest of the world and few westerners were able to infiltrate the region at all. The events of the past 20 years have all been made possible by the dismantling of the metaphorical iron curtain, which Churchill referred to as running from Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Balkans. In reality, Tito in Yugoslavia became less and less influenced by Stalin and opened up his country’s borders to westerners thereby unveiling a friendly and acceptable face of Communism. By the 1960s, the iron curtain had shifted and was largely confined to the very real Berlin Wall. The combination of the fall of the Wall in 1989 and Gorbachev’s perestroika and glasnost, which encouraged greater economic and social freedoms which although in hindsight proved to be too little too late, accelerated the decline of the USSR. By 1991, Russia had lost its sphere of influence in Eastern Europe. While some countries, those most oppressed by the Russians such as Hungary and Poland, were thrilled by freedom from a foreign dictatorship, some countries and regions, namely Belarus, Eastern Ukraine and Serbia, still yearn for Russia to exert authority over the region. Many citizens in these countries will happily state that the worst event to happen throughout history was the fall of the Berlin Wall. While it is understandable that Belorussians and some Ukrainians will feel an affinity to Russia as their states were originally part of the Russian Empire before the revolution in 1917, Serbia is simply an ally. Serbia looks to Russia in the hope that one day both could recover their sphere of influences over their neighbours, in Russia’s case, the former USSR countries which have not yet been lost to the EU, and in Serbia’s case, those in the Balkans. However, what Serbian citizens perhaps forget is that Yugoslavia was in fact held together by Tito and its decline was facilitated by his inadequate measures to find a replacement figurehead or a sufficient replacement political system to maintain the unity of the Yugoslav nations. Debates about a renewed Cold War will no doubt continue for many years; the countries involved may change as will political leaders, and this particular discussion regarding Russia and the West will continue until the West accepts Russia as an equal. Unfortunately, acceptance is unlikely to occur until Russia analyses its past in the way Germany did regarding its role in the Holocaust. Until Russia accepts responsibility for the deaths of between 10 and 20 million in the concentration camps known as Gulags, it will continue to appear an unsavoury regime to the somewhat hypocritical West given the existence of, and practices employed at, Guantanamo Bay. With Russian political figures allegedly responsible for the recent deaths of former KGB spy Alexander Litvinenko and journalist Anna Politkovskaya, the unpleasantness of the Russian regime does not look set to fade away. Moreover, the Russians’ admiration for Stalin, a ruthless despot but under whom great economic advancement occurred, extends throughout all generations and is of great concern to the West. Fortunately, neither the USA nor Russia is in an economic or political situation where a New Cold War is feasible. The world economy is dire and spheres of influence on both sides have been lost or damaged. Consequently, lofty rhetoric or minor military incursions should be regarded as no more than attempts by the two superpowers to maintain or regain some credibility on the world stage.

images: Lyubov Popova Painterly Architectonic 1918 Slobodskoye Museum and Exhibition Center Aleksandr Rodchenko Cover Design for Marietta Shaginan’s “Novyi byt and Art” 1923 Rodchenko and Stepanova Archives (Moscow, Russia) © Rodchenko and Stepanova Archives (Moscow, Russia) Gelatin silver print with gouache Aleksandr Rodchenko Illustration for the magazine ‘Young Guard’ 1924 Rodchenko and Stepanova Archives (Moscow, Russia) © Rodchenko and Stepanova Archives (Moscow, Russia) Photomontage Lyubov Popova Cover for the catalogue of the exhibition ‘5x5=25’ 1921 Collection of Vladimir Tsarenkov © Collection of Vladimir Tsarenkov Cut‑and‑pasted papers, India ink and crayon on paper




words by Amy Tipper-Hale

The anti-gay Westboro Baptist Church recently threatened to picket a sixthform college in Basingstoke, Hampshire, during an amateur performance of The Laramie Project – a play about an American youth murdered because of his sexuality. I don’t think that anyone from the Westboro Baptist church has even been over to Britain, nor looked it up on Google Maps, because if they were to fly over for their anti-gay demonstration, they might find themselves feeling more than a little ridiculous. A handful of loving relatives meandering into a school college are not going to be remotely affected or put off by a bunch of insane Americans protesting outside the gate – they’d probably think it was part of the performance. Why Basingstoke? Surely start in Soho? But there lies the madness and lack of geographical insight. The core belief of the Westboro Baptist Church is that God will punish the West (the UK in particular) for its acceptance of homosexuality. We are all shortly to be destroyed. Church members, more or less a large number of (most likely) inbred relatives of the church’s founding father Fred Phelps, also regularly protest outside the funerals of service personnel in the US. Mrs Phelps-Roper told Independent’s Mathew Moore: “It is the first actual picket. We have been preaching by so many means to the UK for years. The arm of the Lord, our God, is not shortened by oceans and things, all of which he created and all of which he knew about when he considered these last hours of the very last days of all”. I have no idea what she’s talking about – but it sounds like we might be heading for another Armageddon.


The activities of the Westboro lot are but a small blip on the horizon of religious fanaticism. We usually expect it to herald from Middle America and underdeveloped countries, but Britain has its fair share of the religiously insane. When the Atheist buses rolled around the UK with the slogan “There’s probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life”, some less tolerant people went ballistic, which is obviously unfair. There’s a Baptist church across the road from my house – every morning it tells me I’m born in original sin, which can be rather unsettling. You will find little or no tolerance in religion: non-believers, agnostics, heathens are all fair game. My extensive research on the web pages of insanity reveal there are two types of religious madness. There is the underlying evil of a certain man who is seriously psychologically unwell and has masked himself with the perceived ‘good’ of religious constitution so that he gains a position of power and trust that is all too easy to abuse. Men such as Joseph Di Mambro (cult leader) and Brendan Smyth (Catholic priest and child molester) are examples of this type of man. The other type is the ‘general nutter’ who fixates on religion because it can be manipulated into utter nonsense by fantastical stretches of the imagination. They are usually harmless and write about conspiracy theories that are highly entertaining. They may or may not wear tinfoil. Keep reading more blips of religious fanaticism: some horrific, some merely barking.





JIM JONES (1931-1978) Possibly the most profligate religious nutcase, Jim Jones was the LSD-popping, Elvis-Presley-lookalike founder of the Peoples Temple. He moved his congregation to Jonestown, Guyana, where he attempted to set up a “socialist paradise” of followers. Jim had sexual relations with both male and female members of the temple, fathering a few children for his “rainbow family” on the way. In 1978, 900 members of the Peoples Temple died (including 276 children) of cyanide poisoning. Jim was shot in the head – either by himself or a fellow member. The tally of deaths were racked up further by the visit of congressman Leo Ryan and members of the press who had come to investigate the ‘cult’, and who were shot attempting to leave the site. As a Child: Jim was “a really weird kid” and reportedly stabbed a cat. BRENDAN SMYTH (1927-1997) Almost single-handedly brought down Ireland’s Mass attendance rate from 68 percent to 48 percent in less than a decade when he was exposed as Ireland’s most notorious child molester. Smyth was a member of the Norbertine Catholic religious order, which was aware of his unholy behaviours as early as the 1940s but neglected to report him to the authorities. As a result, he was able to continue raping hundreds of children in Belfast, Dublin, and the US over a period of 40 years. As a Child: No idea, but probably “kept himself to himself”. POPE ALEXANDER VI (1431-1503) His life story reads like a Mario Puzo novel with murders, sex scandals, power and above all, greed. Alexander, or ‘Borgia’ as he later came to be referred too, brought the Roman Catholic Church to its lowest level of degradation. He had little respect for the religious sanctity of his position, and instead concentrated on the great wealth and power his position brought. He was renowned for endowing relatives at the church’s expense, murdered whoever got in his way, and had four

JIM BAKKER children with his mistress, whom he granted all the wealth and riches he could. Strangely enough, it was he that commissioned some of the best architecture and art the city had ever seen, employing the likes of Raphael, Michelangelo and Pinturicchio. As a Child: Rumoured to have committed his first murder at age 12. JOSEPH SMITH JR (1805-1844) Founding father of the Latter Day Saint Movement, a cheap swindle religion conceived in the rampant insanity of Joseph Smith. He gathered a religious following after claiming an angel appeared unto him with some golden plates describing a visit of Jesus to the indigenous peoples of America. He translated the plates using a magic stone into the Book of Mormon. Joseph married doting wife Emma Hale Smith but then continued to marry up to 27 other women. His early demise came in jail when a group of non-Mormons came and ransacked the place, killing John Smith and three other Mormon prisoners. As a Child: It was at the age of 14 that John experienced the “First Vision” of God to Man. JIM BAKKER (1940 -present) Bakker is the more fun-loving face of religious negligence and atrocity. An American televangelist, Assemblies of God minister and former host of the PTL Club, an evangelical Christian television program, Bakker spread his word of the Lord far and wide in Middle America. He even started a theme park and was once quoted as saying, “I believe that if Jesus were alive today he would be on TV”. In 1988 he was indicted on eight counts of mail fraud, 15 counts of wire fraud and one conspiracy. He was found guilty of all charges and has spent 45 years in federal prison. He got away with a sex scandal earlier in his career after paying Jessica Hahn $279,000 to keep her rape allegations quiet. As a Child: Obviously never read the bible – the only time he read it all the way through was in prison.





JOSEPH DI MAMBRO (1924-1994) Co-founder of the Order of the Solar Temple and general wacko. He founded the cult with his friend and homeopathic doctor Luc Jouret in 1984. Di Mambro managed the cult’s finances, but insisted to be working under the direction of never before seen “Masters”. The cult incorporated astrology, medieval legend and Christianity into its beliefs. The cult (at its peak in the late eighties) had around 400 members. It all ended in a few mass suicides, as it nearly always does, but not before Di Mambro killed an infant son of one of the cult’s couples, whom he claimed was the Antichrist. Di Mambro claimed that his son Elie had been created by theology, or marriage of the gods, and that daughter Emmanuelle had been conceived without sex. The two leaders also believed in the transformative powers of fire, and that on death they would be reborn on ‘Sirius’, another planet in another universe. As a Child: Trained clockmaker and jeweller. Became interested in esoteric religions. Probably the quiet type. CREDONIA MWERINDE (Unknown – still around) Co-founder of the Movement for the Restoration of the Ten Commandments of God – a splinter group from the Roman Catholic Church in Uganda. Before having visions of the Virgin Mary, Mwerinde was a shopkeeper, brewer of banana beer and a prostitute. She co-founded the religious movement with school headmaster Joseph Kibweteere in 1989, becoming high priestess of a group estimated between 1,000 and 4,000. They were a doomsday group that stuck strictly to the Ten Commandments. They often communicated in sign language, fasted often and had no sex, nor washed with soap. On the day of the mass murder an estimated 778 members died, either by fire or strangulation from banana fibres. As a Child: in her early twenties she set fire to the household belongings of a local official who had spurned her. A keen arsonist. DAVID IKE (1952-present) “I am the channel for the Christ spirit. The title was given to me recently by the Godhead.” Quite right, Ike. The author, journalist, former football goalkeeper, Green Party politician and television presenter is probably the nuttiest of the lot. Though quite harmless, it seems. He has published 20 books outlining his views on spiritual philosophy and apocalyptic conspiracies. The basic theory is that a network of secret societies, which he refers to as the “Brotherhood”, controls the world. The apex of which are the “Illuminati” who



use mind control over the rest of us. The Luciferic Consciousness control the “Prison Wardens” who are not human, but reptiles from the constellation Draco that control the Brotherhoods. It’s all very confusing. Basically, we better watch out because the reptilian group includes most of the world leaders: Queen Mother, George HW Bush, Hillary Clinton (inclined to believe that), Harold Wilson and Tony Blair. Judaism, Christianity and Islam are all Illuminati creations designed to divide and conquer the human race. As a Child: He greatly feared ridicule. JOHN PAUL II (1920-2005) A much-beloved pope within the walls of the Vatican and within Europe in general. Unfortunately, it may have been the case that John couldn’t see from the gilded windows of the Papal residency the world changing dramatically since his appointment. For example, his dogmatic positions on “family values” have greatly contributed to the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa; John Paul II and the Catholic Church vetoed condoms, and claimed that instead the people should be taught abstinence and marital fidelity to stop the spread. Not that helpful in a country that has some of the highest rape figures in the world – in South Africa there are approximately 150 women sexually assaulted every day. As a Child: Played lots of football as a goalkeeper. Teams were usually Jews vs. Catholics. PAT ROBERTSON (1930-present) Another seemingly harmless nutter with a frightening amount of clout in America. Pat is a televangelist and founder of many organisations and corporations centred on conservative Christianity. He unsuccessfully campaigned to become the Republican Party’s nominee in the 1988 presidential election. His presidential campaign was attacked after he lied about being a combat marine in the Korean War – he never spent a day in combat. Pat’s written many hallucinogenic conspiracy books, one on the world being controlled though Freemasonry, Jewish bankers and secret order of the Illuminati. He has been accused of anti-Semitism as he believes there is a worldwide Jewish conspiracy, and has predicted various doomsdays and world disasters. After 9/11 he announced that it was a divine judgement on a secular society that tolerated homosexuality and abortion. As a Child: ‘Pat’ on the head constantly by an older brother, hence the name ‘Pat’ instead of Marion Gordon Robertson.


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Anglomania Issue 4  

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