J E S U S
OCTOBER TWENTY NINETEEN
angelic M U S I C
F A S H I O N
NEW BEGINNING THE
BIBLE TALKS ABOUT BEING REBORN,
BECOMING A NEW CREATION IN
WARRIORS STRIVING TO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT NEED TO REINVENT THEMSELVES. NEW BEGINNING IS A NEW SEASON. FILLED
HIS NAME. FORGETTING PRESS
HAS CALLED US TO BE IN
WHAT IS BEHIND US, WE
TRANSFORMING US INTO.
DILIGENTLY AS A MINISTRY UTILIZING
FASHION. ALONG OUR WAY THE MUNDANE SET IN, THE ORDINARY NO LONGER SERVED ITS PURPOSE. WE STEPPED AND
BACK AND HAVE NOT RELEASED AN ISSUE SINCE THE SPRING OF TWENTY NINETEEN.
NEW ISSUE, THESE NEW PAGES, THESE
FRESH WORDS SHARE A UNIFIED MESSAGE:
IS FOCUSED ON BEING
A MINISTRY RELENTLESS IN PROCLAIMING THE WORD OF
ARE FOCUSED ON DOING THINGS FOR
JESUS THAT WE HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. WE HAVE A NEW AESTHETIC AND A NEW SPIRIT IN OUR STEPS. THIS IS OUR SEASON. THIS IS OUR NEW BEGINNING. AND WITH
OCTOBER TWENTY NINETEEN
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THERE I AM WITH THEM
r e t t e L r o t i d E r e Octob It was September of 2013 when Angelic launched its first issue. A lot has changed since that time, and most of the change has been within my own walk with God. I was a twenty something year old fashion photographer and a DJ and I am now older, wiser, a 30 year old something ready for a new journey with God. This October issue marks six years and one month that Angelic has been alive, and I am inspired to see the team of Angelic Magazine grow individually so that collectively we can march towards the mission God has put before us. And that is to relentlessly proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ in creative and bold ways. I hope you enjoy this issue. Blessings, Jesse Anaya
M A G A Z I N E
F E A T U R E
T H E
C L I M B
PHOTOGRAPHY: MICHELLE COPPINI HAIR AND MAKEUP: KRISTIE WILSON MODEL: SYDNEY SORENSON
M I C H E L E
C O P P I N I
THE CLIMB B Y M I C H E L L E C O P P I N I
Up and down. An endless cycle of highs and lows. The peaks and valleys strung together to encompass a lifestory. Snapshots of your successes imprinted on your memory just as prominent as the failures. How high was your climb? How long was your race? How fast was your time? How good did you do in light of others? How much better will you do next time? Will you make it, will you reach that peak? Arriving at your summit of success. A success that is measured by your answers to those above questions. The “best” beckons and so we climb. Climb high and always needing to reach higher. Always grasping that next rung on the ladder of our “best.” Stretching for our peak potential with greedy eyes and peer pressured motivation. “Reaching for the sky,” because where we are is somehow where we believe we aren’t supposed to be. Where we are isn’t, “good enough.” This race. This climb. It has me burnt out. Its false promises of contentment and happiness have set me on a course for comparison and a daily date with defeat. A road that began with beautifully pure intentions but through execution has transformed to muddy unkind trails. Potholes filled with selfish motives, shallow thoughts and actions that seem deeper than they really are. Spinning around this foggy setting, solitude whispers hello and through her lonely shadows I sense forgetfulness. Somehow, I have forgotten. I have forgotten the “why” of my heart’s motivation. Looking inwards I am not only faced with unremembered intentions but the bold presence of their counterfeit replacement. One that measures worth with “likes” and beauty with emoji “hearts.” One that hungers for notoriety and is never satisfied with the status quo. This unsatisfied motivator is an unquenchable beast that has pulled me away from where I truly long to be. Drawn me from WHO I long to walk WITH. Who sets my feet on high places and lifts my heavy head. Whose nailpierced hand I hold and whose companionship is more precious than gold. Any ladder I climb. Any mountain I scale.
"Always grasping that next rung on the ladder of our “best.” Stretching for our pea potential with greedy eyes an peerpressured motivation. “Reaching for the sky,” because where we are is somehow where we believe w aren’t supposed to be."
Any ocean I swim. Any desert I trek. With Him by my side it is always right. In His presence my “why” takes shape. It settles into parts of my soul. Taking its rightful place in the foundatio heart. With Him speaking and fashioning life around me, I ca With Him creating life inside me, I cannot miss it. With Him takes on its rightful definition. Loneliness is forgotten and muddy potholes become dream as He holds my hand and jumps from puddle to pudd His fingers laced in mine and suddenly this climb is a th still filled with uncertainty and unknown but with the One never failed (and who never will) my confidence swells. propelling me with new found purpose No longer is the push to “be best” a motivator. No lo endless chase of selfish success. With HIM I truly run. Run from a place of freedom and rest. Run from a place and endless possibilities. Run till I fly, as He defines constructing it through surrendered friendship a conversations. This climb was never meant to be done alone. Never mean monologue of self triumph. This climb was designed for intimacy. It is a call to dept of two hearts dreaming as one. An invitation into c possibilities and the promise of triumph. An invitation to try try again. Never working towards worth but always working Lacing my fingers in His, I catch His bright eyes. Onc head out towards my adventure.
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FROM ONE ANXIOUS HEART TO ANOTHER B Y A L A N I E S AY E R
A N G E L I C M A G . C O M / A L A N I E S AY E R
I’VE FOUND THAT THE PROCESS OF FOLLOWING GOD IS ALWAYS ONE OF PERSEVERANCE AND TRUST. KNOWING THAT THE LIES AND THE CONFUSION THAT CLOUD OUR MINDS ARE NOT FROM HIM BUT A DISTRACTION AND AN ATTACK.
get it. The heaviness in your chest. Your heart racing from the chaos. The fog in your head clouds everything that makes sense. I get it. I really do. I’ve always written from a viewpoint of how I can help others get through what I’ve gone through and what I’ve learned from The Lord on the matter. But this time, I’m here writing to you from one anxious heart to another. To give you some encouragement and tell you that you are not alone. So far from alone. Dear anxious heart, I know you have grown weary. I know these moments feel like an eternity. I know how hard it is when you’re brushed off to the side because others “just don’t get it”. I know how painful it is to be surrounded by so many people and still feel lonely. I can’t sit here and give you a formula to rid yourself of the anxiety. There is no formula. But there is Someone. His name is Jesus. The Lord is the only One that can bring you out of the chaos and into perfect peace. What I have to always remind myself is that my peace HAS to be found in Him, not anyone or anything else. In the moments that my mind won’t stop racing and my heart won’t calm down, I’ve learned that the only way to get out of it is to draw back, put my focus on Jesus, replace the lies with the truth and get in the Secret Place. It’s a fight to push back all of the lies and fear that is gripping for your attention but He is so ready for you to rest and to quit fighting a fight that He’s already won. How do you get to that place of rest, you ask? First, know the Word and the truth it holds. Know what God says about you. When the enemy is spitting lies at you, you must be prepared to replace them with the truth. The Word of God needs to be etched so vividly in your heart.
Secondly, get in the Secret Place. Put your todo list down, leave your phone in another room, grab some Kleenex and get alone with God. Don't forget the Kleenex. Moments of confusion, frustration and anxiety can easily lead us to distrust in God. Guilty. That’s why the Secret Place is such a necessary holy ground. When we take the time and get on our knees before the Father, we allow for Him to sweep us up and bring us into a Peace that goes beyond all understanding. What helps me is knowing that when I press in, He hears me, He sees me and He’s working. It can become such a holy process when we don’t rush for the fast answer. The immediate need to know the outcome or the answer to “why” all of which leads us down a neverending pit of worry. I’ve found that the process of following God is always one of perseverance and trust. Knowing that the lies and the confusion that cloud our minds are not from Him but a distraction and an attack. BUT, this part of your story that hurts so much, the tears burning down your face, this moment is actually your victory cry – because Jesus has already won this battle. You are not defeated, friend. So, I leave you with these truths: You are not alone. You absolutely matter. You are so loved and worthy of more than living in constant fear and anxiety. He is doing a new thing. No matter what things look like, Jesus is still on the throne and guess what? He doesn't fall off of it. “Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:1618
'THIS IS NO BUMPER STICKER KIND OF THING' B Y W H I T N E Y H A N C O C K
like any good bumper sticker, I could have told you a thousand different ways; “hope is the anchor.” (to my ship that’s already sinking?) “hold onto hope.” (you’re right, it’ll probably all be okay.) “Those who hope in the Lord…” (I am one of those people, right?) maybe it’s because I’m not ready maybe it’s because I’m being prepared maybe it’s because the timing isn’t right I could have told you it’s going to help. you’ll get through it if you just hold onto… but this isn’t a bumper sticker kind of thing. this place in your soul only carved out in bonechilling silence pins dropping heart heavy, pounding drenched in humiliating tears they called me ‘misses bright side’ I had done war with negativity It was the silverlining every time. rose colored everything I'd see. but she knows the darkness intimately, Hope. she’s warred with superficial success. long ago she staked her claim. when no one was looking, she weighed every option calculated investigated waited. Hope answers to no one but Love. Call on her for a sudden answer, she won’t reply. Demand from her quick results, you’ll hear silence.
She’s deliberated. whether elation and pride, or heartbreak and strife, her ‘Yes' birthed from an honest heart. she chose this, and she chose it with her eyes opened wide. this is a song that comes from the deep. it’s no bumper sticker kind of thing. and when you hear from her, it’ll be when she sings. she’ll sing sweetly the tune without the words and she’ll never stop at all.
THE WOMEN OF PHOENIX GATHER IN THE NAME OF JESUS EVERY 3RD TUESDAY OF THE MONTH.
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ife has changed a lot for me in the past year. A year ago, I had a fulltime job in a field that I loved. I was going to school prepping to apply for a Master’s program. I was actively involved in ministry. I was a part of a wonderful small group. I had solid community at both work and church. A year ago, my family consisted of me, my husband, and our catchild. Then we welcomed a baby into our lives. My husband’s job moved us across the country for 6 months. And now, my life looks very different. I’m not working anymore. I’m taking a break from school. My community consists of more facetime dates than coffee dates. My days consist of running our household and caring for our sweet 7 monthold daughter. I have gone from being super productive on my days off to being lucky if I get basic household chores done. And I have had to learn to give myself grace. And although this is such a sweet season in life, I find myself feeling attacked by negative thoughts. Thoughts of doubt and inadequacy. Thoughts that I am not enough because I’m not “having it all”. “I’m not contributing to society.” “I’m not contributing to our family financially.” “I’m JUST a stayathome mom.” JUST a stayathome mom? Where did these lies come from? Definitely not Jesus. We live in a culture that has pounded it into our heads that women need to “have it all”. We should be able to have fulfilling marriages and spotless, DIY project homes. We must have fulfilling careers and make pintrestworthy meals. And most of all, we need to be present, involved mothers. And in this season of my life, all of my energy is spent investing in my marriage, my relationship with the Lord, and raising my child 24/7. And sometimes, I have a hard time accepting that as being enough. Do you want to know what I want to be when I grow up? (Because at 27, I am still not grown up). I want to be a missionary overseas with my husband. That is what God has given me a dream for. Before I go overseas, I need to go back to school to work in the medical field. That is what the Lord has laid on my heart to take with me to the mission field. And before that, I need to start (and finish) my Master’s program. But then the Lord laid on our hearts that it we needed to pause to start our family.
ISSING OUT ON LIFE.
C OM P E TE S A N D C OM PA R E S. SOC I A L M E DI A HA S LI V E S LOOK LI K E A LL OF THE HI GHS, A N D N ON E HE LOW S. "
Friends, maybe you are in a season like this. Maybe you are facing lies (and they are in fact, lies) that you are not far along enough or accomplished enough or contributing enough in life. Maybe God gave you a vision or dream, but it hasn’t come to fruition yet. But here’s the question that really matters. Are you where God wants you, right now? Have you been obedient to His will for your life? Because if you have, then you can rest. Rest in where He has placed you. Rest in what He is doing, even in the unknown or the mundane. Rest in what He is doing in you and through you. We live in a world that strives and competes and compares. Social media has made it incredibly simple to make our lives look like all of the highs, and none of the lows. It’s all about the next big thing, rather than being still. I know that I am exactly where God wants me. Being a mother is one of the greatest joys of my life. But there are some days where I still struggle and wonder, “What did I accomplish/contribute today?” Having a satisfying career is wonderful. And being that “pintrest perfect” homemaker sounds nice, but my value doesn’t come from the external things of this life. It comes from my relationship with Jesus, and He said it’s time to rest and focus on being a wife and a mother. Satan would love to have us focus on the lies and play the comparison games. They’ll keep us distracted from the task at hand. Abiding where God has us. Serving in whatever season He has you in. Being missionallyminded always, even in the mundane or “still” seasons of life. Be confident in where God has you. Be confident in where He has led you. God is sanctifying me, even now. Working on the deep places of my heart while I’m “being still”. This season is a huge blessing, even if it feels mundane sometimes. In a world that tells us we must work to earn satisfaction and fulfillment, let us rest in where God has placed us and in who He has made us to be. “My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken,” Psalm 62: 12
M A G A Z I N E
F E A T U R E
A T H E I S T
WORDS BY BRANDON LYONS
W O R S H I P
L E A D E R
PHOTOGRAPHY: ALANIE MODEL: BRYANT
ATHEIST WOR B Y B R A N D O N LY O N S
A N G E L I C M A G . C O M / B R A N D O N LY O N S
“What do you do when you’re a worship leader in your church and you’re not sure you believe in God anymore?” That was the question posed to a pastor in a breakout session I was sitting in. I felt drawn to this young man. He sat alone and left alone. His bearing akin to a downtrodden Charlie Brown. I tried to grab him but lost him in the crowd. During the lunch break on the following day, he walked in front of my lunch table and I shouted, “I appreciated the question you asked in our breakout.” He looked as if to ask if he heard me correctly. We exchanged numbers, and I offered my prayers. Over the last 18 months I’ve prayed for my friend daily, texting him from time to time. We speak rarely but when we do it is for well over an hour each time. My takeaway he was set up to be disappointed in God. I spent my twenties working at premium wineries. It was an industry full of hedonists. Bosses who would mock my faith. Consumers who couldn’t believe I’d be so naïve to believe the Bible. I loved it. Rarely a Christian. Fine by me. I’d never had Christian friends, so the wine industry felt right at home. My favorite part of the job was giving vineyard tours. I could tell the varietals by the leaves. The vineyards were in calcareous soil, that just means chalky limestone. Yields were low. Most of the vineyards were watered by drip irrigation. Drip irrigation is enough to sustain the plants in a heatwave but force them to find their own water most of the time. Their roots were driven downward, deep through hard soil. I heard a recent podcast with David Kinnaman, President of the Barna Group. Their research is showing that while Gen Z is less Christian, of those who still selfidentify as Christian, 10% are
what Kinnaman refers to as “resilient disciples.” Think Daniel and his friends in Babylon. The more pressure, the stronger they got. They were exiles in a foreign land who laid the foundation for Israel’s revival. That’s what this next generation represents. They weren’t raised with the same Christian culture of boomers, Xers, or even Millennials. Being a Christian was no longer assumed, and those who remained are more resilient for it. One of my favorite kids at our church is named Jack. I’ve become good friends with his father, Pete. Pete told me a story of when his son wanted to go to a party with drugs and alcohol. Pete obliged. No long lecture. No just say no. Just a father who had built his son up for years for this moment. He explained to his son that this wasn’t the party for him, but he’d take him. Pete waited down the street and sure enough within minutes Jack called, wanting to go home. Jack was raised at a great church, his parents served at their church, he was involved in student ministry, but he was never held back from real life or discouraged form real questions. He, like the rest of his generation were raised like exiles. I just smile now as my peers share how they plan to help their child avoid the evils of public education. The walls of Jerusalem are crumbling all around them as they squeeze their child like Lennie Small holding the rabbits. I work extensively with the Z generation in my church. I love them. The depth and sincerity of their faith is something I rarely see in people in their 30s or 40s. What is usually reserved for those who have walked with God through the dark night of the soul is alive in our youth and I’m here for it.
RSHIP LEADER In the 1960s, students were trained on how to persist during a sit in. Training was intense. They were yelled at. Called derogatory names. Had milkshakes dropped on them. The list goes on. Their organizers knew it was not enough to tell them to be strong, they must be trained to persist and resist. They must know what it was to be yelled at, mocked, ridiculed, taunted, provoked. Nobody was trained to expect applause or plaudits. More like beatings and abuse. Yet, when the pressure came, they were ready. They knew it would be hard, and they were ready. My friend from the conference was raised with a God who would bless those who were faithful. They’d experience his presence. They’d have a great marriage, kids who obeyed, and friends who loved them. When the ball of twine began to unravel, it all felt so foreign. Where is God? Where is the blessing? Why is God silent? Was it something I did? Suddenly, God’s love letter written to us felt empty. His good plan for our life didn’t feel very good. Friends were hard to find, marriage was difficult, the church was unhealthy. No wonder God was so disappointing. I don’t fault his parents. They were just doing the best they knew how. Like so many parents today, they couldn’t read the times. They didn’t feel the undercurrent pulling our nation’s Christian morale from under their feet. Still, I do wonder. Would he be as disappointed if he knew God owed us nothing, because he already gave us everything? Would he find courage knowing we follow the suffering servant, not yet the conquering king? I don’t know. I was once told this, we aren’t trying to raise great children, we want to raise great adults. It’s not a new idea. Paul tells us that’s what God wants for us! God has called us into maturity. We need
“WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU’RE A WORSHIP LEADER IN YOUR CHURCH AND YOU’RE NOT SURE YOU BELIEVE IN GOD ANYMORE?” more than milk, we need meat. If we want to help someone develop a faith that last, we must teach them to be spiritually resilient. It is a skill we must embody so they can learn it. Like those students in the 60s, we need to be allowed to feel the pressure. We need experience delaying gratification, answering hard questions, turning to community. We need to learn that pain, heartache, frustrations are not bad, they’re just hard, and hard allows us to leverage what we don’t enjoy so God can redeem it. It’s not something negative, it’s an opportunity for God to grow us. Our resolve is a testimony of God’s faithfulness to a world that finds our faith impossible to believe. We are exiles in a foreign land. God is not concerned with our political rights. He’s not concerned with our comfort or social calendar. No, he’s developing something far greater. It’s something I find reverberating from the words of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego to King Nebuchadnezzar, “we do not need to defend ourselves before you. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.” God can do all things, heal all, save all, but even if he doesn’t, I won’t deny him. For my faith is not based on God’s willingness to remove obstacles, but the comfort I have in following him into the fire.
All Hall B Y J E S S E A N AYA A N G E L I C M A G . C O M / J E S S E A N AYA
SHOULD FOLLOWERS OF CHRI
I wore a long sleeve thermal underneath my button up yesterday as the morning was brisk. The weather has left summer and all around me I notice the leaves have begun to fall. Autumn is here, and Halloween night is on the horizon. My older brother, who we'll call Fun Eddie told me the other day he wouldn't be taking his little girl trick or treating this year. He said he didn't feel good about celebrating a holiday that wasn't of God. In his prime, single Eddie, aka Fun Eddie used to live for nights like Halloween. Like many adults, Halloween was a night for my big brother to party. Alcohol, late nights, girls in skimpy costumes. Nothing about this version of the night says, “I'm worshiping Jesus.” As my conversation with my brother about Halloween took place, I began to wonder if I would take my children trickortreating the day I become a father? And my immediate response to myself was, yes, absolutely. Am I wrong for feeling this way? This is an opinion – so you may completely disagree and this is the point of this article, it's an opinion, not gospel or a piece written from fact. When I was in the sixth grade I wore my brothers sailor uniform for Halloween. My brother Eddie is twelve years older than me and he was in the Navy during that time of my life. I wore an authentic US Navy uniform hemmed and fitted for a sixth grader on Halloween, the sailor hat and all, and its my most favorite costume that I've ever worn. Everyone stopped and and stared, and asked if it was real? And I proudly said yes, “It's my big brother's.” My memories of Halloween are filled with chilly weather, fun costumes that my mom helped me to get ready in, going trickor treating with my four older siblings, excited to get as much candy as possible and my parents wading in the background as we tricked or treated from house to house. Halloween wasn't about debauchery for me, it was about spending time with my family.
I S T C E L E B R AT E H A L L O W E E N ?
As an adult I don't celebrate my Halloween's with alcohol or going out trying to meet girls as most nonmarried guys do. I don't celebrate Halloween to celebrate the dead and I don't celebrate Halloween as a night to worship the devil. Though I acknowledge the mayhem of Halloween, as followers of Christ we can take back the night to glorify and worship our God. Nothing is more beautiful than a family spending time together. That is worship. The pure joy of seeing a child's face light up because their neighbor down the street freely gave away chocolate to them is community. This is worship. Take a way the whole costume thing and just view neighbors extending love and communication to one another. A community invested in opening their doors with a smile and hello. Families spending time together by making an effort to actually be together and participate in memory making moments. Where sin increases, we must increase our faith all the more. When the enemy makes a night about evil, as followers of Christ we must make the night about God. Candy and costumes are not evil, it's our individual intent behind the costumes and candy that point us to sin or to God. According to the History Channel's website, “Celts believed (on Halloween) the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31 they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth.” I believe it's a heart issue. One may feel conflicted about celebrating a night where it is believed ghosts returned to earth and that is perfectly acceptable. One may feel inspired to celebrate the night making a concerted effort to bring God into the night. And one may seek to use the night as an opportunity to dress up and intertwine themselves with alcohol and mayhem. What it comes down to is our heart? Do you feel good about what you are doing with your Halloween celebration? If Jesus was to return in the rapture the night of Halloween, would He know that you are a follower of His?
M A G A Z I N E
F E A T U R E
K I L L I N G
WORDS BY SHANNON STODDARD
S O F T L Y
I heard He sang a good song B Y S H A N N O N S TO D D A R D ANGELICMAG.COM/SHANNONSTODDARD
I heard he sang a good song, I heard he had a style. And so came to see him and listen for awhile….. The other morning as I was listening to 70’s music, Killing Me Softly by Roberta Flack came on. The lyrics grasped me as it spoke to the depths of my weary soul. Strumming my pain with his fingers Singing my life with his words Killing me softly with his song Telling my whole life with his words I wondered about my own pain. The pain I have spent years hiding so strategically. Have you ever been so moved by the lyrics to a song as if those words are your story? Like someone pulled back the bedroom curtains or opened the shutters to your heartache. The light trickled in. The heaviness vanished for a tender but fleeting moment. There was another walking silently with you. You were not alone. It comforted you like a warm blanket to know there are others who have gone ahead. I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd. I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud. I prayed that he would finish but he just kept right on…. I laid my head on my pillow that night asking Jesus if the pages, the journal entries, the letters we wanted to rip out from our own life story were really where the beauty lies within? Is it possible when we choose to lean in to our own pain that it takes on another form? Each day we wake and make the decision to get out of bed. Each time we share with a trusted friend. Each honest prayer to the one who bends down so eagerly to listen, bringing our trouble souls back to life Jesus gently takes me by the hand and says, “This is the way.” He walks me right through the center of my own pain, the pain that was killing me softly. How can He know every thought, every dark secret, every mistake, every tear, and still love me completely? I’ve never known a love like this. He meets me right where I am. He uncovers the pain. At last, I am no longer afraid. He doesn’t leave me the way that He found me. Only then am I able to meet you where you are. I pull back the curtain and lovingly reach for your hand and walk you through your pain. This is the Gospel. This is the way to healing. This is Jesus; the light of the world. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland Isaiah 43:19
PHOTOGRAPHY: ALANIE MODEL: CHARITY
The October 2019 Issue of Angelic Magazine. JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION. www.ANGELICMAG.com