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Free compilation for every reader! ft. Sound Of Guns, Stealing Sheep, Bird, Vasco Da Gama, Ninetails and loads more.


Well straddle my filthy chops and call me Sandra. Your favourite (or hopefully soon-to-be favourite) student mag is back and we’re feeling sexier than ever! For those of you that don’t know it, every page of Wireless Magazine is written and designed by students all over the UK - make sure you get in on the action too (just go to This issue is a bloody humdinger, featuring exclusive interviews with the fat thumbed comedy genius Russell Howard, the far-tooclever director Rian Johnson, the terrifyingly hard Ben Drew (Plan B to you and me), the laptop genius Dan Le Sac, super catchy Fun. and Uni tips from the rather lovely Fresh Meat actress Charlotte Ritchie. Oh and you’ll get to learn what ketchup sex is too. Hot diggity. Enjoy... x

s s e l e Wir [MAGAZINE]

Freshers Edition 2012

In this issue.... Page 07: Never Mind The Beatles: Free Compilation Album

Page 13: 8 People You’ll Meet In Halls

Page 16: Russell Howard

t Page 20: Joe and the Gian Burger

words: Ben Gibson

Page 24: Rian Johnson

Page 36: Ben Drew

Page 32: Fresh Meat’s Charlotte Ritchie

Page 30: Fun.

Page 42: Dan Le Sac


Also in this

Page 44: Get The Look

Page 34: The Mass Debate.

This publication is aimed at people over the age of 18, due to the nature of its content. If you are under 18, we suggest you put this magazine down and pick up a copy of Kerrang or Seventeen or something. Sorry about that, our lawyers told us to tell you.

Whilst every care has been taken to ensure that the data in this publication is accurate, neither the publisher nor its editorial contributors can accept any liability to any party or loss or damage caused by errors or o missions resulting from largely This edition of Wireless was created negligence, accident or any while wearing a luminous poncho, cursing the other cause. of

weather and getting drunk in a field full maniacs. Both with and without glasses on.

PUBLISHED BY UK STUDENT MEDIA LTD Telephone 0151 345 3803 Advertising: Editorial:

Editor: Andy Scott Contributors: Joseph Smith, Clare Barry, Amy Pay, Ben Gibson, Rosey Brown, Adam Clements, Ian Pemberton, Laura Griffiths, Zoe Waterson, Michael Glynn, Emma Williams, Faye Duncan, Harriet Midgley, Tom Johnson, Curtis McArdle, Alan Ormrod, Khia Reynolds Design: Andy Scott, John Rule, Rob Armstrong, Zoey Lott, Becky Ryan • Photos: Rob Whitworth, Mark Sethi, Dave McEvoy

Big thanks to: Eugene and Bee at Entertainment One, Hannah at Avalon, Tom at Hall or Nothing, Lisa Vanoli Publicity, Claire at Atlantic, Paul at Zeitgeist, Everyone at ChuffMedia, Rachel at, Blacks Restaurant, Everyone at Redbus, Alka Seltzer.

Wireless Magazine (Merseyside) ISSN 2051-0322

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Reading & Leeds Announce 2013 Pre-Sale Tickets The two greatest music festivals on the planet are over for another year, leaving us naked, dirty and nursing a hangover that's going to last until Christmas. But here's one thing to cheer you up: for a limited amount of time Reading & Leeds are selling tickets for next year's event at this year's prices. Those who want to guarantee their place in 2013's crowd, and save themselves a few quid in the process, would be wise to take advantage. Highlights from this year's festivals included a surprise appearance by Green Day, The Cribs throwing their backline into the crowd and Dave Grohl getting 80,000 people to sing happy birthday to his mum.

Almost Three Quarters Of Lady Gaga's Twitter Followers Could Be Fake

A study by the social media company Status People shows that up to 71% of Gaga's 29 million Twitter fans could consist of inactive or 'bot' accounts. 'Fake Follower check' also reports that 70% of President Obama's 19 million followers could be fake. Fake followers can be bought on the black market to raise the profile of an individual's account although there is no evidence to suggest Barack or Gaga have done this. Ladies and Gentlemen, this has been a slow news day.

Liverpool ONE Morgan Freeman To Student Takeover! Star In Lego Movie From Mon 1st to Fri 5th October students are taking over Liverpool ONE! Yep, for five days there will be music on the streets as well as plenty of bargains to bag in shops and restaurants, with discounts up to 25%. Action will peak on Wed 3rd Oct, when DJs and bands will perform on Paradise St from 1pm - 8pm. Stores will also hold events with live music as well as discounts, complimentary drinks, giveaways and even a chance to win a European break for two! Now say goodbye loan, hello shoes...


It has been confirmed that Morgan Freeman will lend his voice to Lego: The Piece Of Resistance to be released in 2014. The 3D animated movie will also feature a Lego version of Batman.

Hitler To Stop Selling Clothes In India An Indian clothes shop has caused outrage after naming itself Hitler. Owner, Rajesh

Shah says that he was unaware of the German dictator until recently and that he thought Hitler was just a nickname for a strict person, although this doesn't explain why the store's sign includes a swastika...

Big Foot Hoaxer Killed On Highway A man trying to f a k e a Sasquatch sighting on a US highway was killed when he was hit by two cars. The hoaxer, dressed in a full body ghillie suit, was apparently trying to provoke a sighting of Big Foot in Montana. Unfortunately his disguise made it difficult for motorists to see him. The man's motives were uncovered after the local highway patrol interviewed his friends who said that alcohol may have also been a factor.

wireless magazine, dawsons music and liverpoo l sound city present

never mind the beatles...

(a compilation of the best in the liverpool music scene) When people talk about the Liverpool music scene, two words immediately spring to mind “The Sixties”, or more specifically, “The Beatles”. But Liverpool is about so much more than the Merseybeat sounds of days gone by. There is a thriving music scene right now. From the ultra-cool mathrock scene to the underground hip hop collectives, with a hefty dollop of psychedelia, punk, metal, rock, acoustic and indie thrown in there too. Despite venues closing and new city centre busking by-laws, this is still a great time for local music, which is why Wireless Magazine have teamed up with Liverpool Sound City, Dawsons and Crosstown Studios to bring you this compilation, so give it a listen...

Stealing Sheep Track: Shut Eye This all-female neo-psych trio caught the nation's attention when their single 'Shut Eye' featured on a Hollyoaks advert. Since then things have been blowing up big time with Radio 6 airplay, a European tour and an album out at the end of the year. It's all well deserved too because they're brilliant. Playing: October 11th @ Dr Martens Instore (as you do.)

Sound of Guns Track: Sometimes If you're suffering withdrawal symptoms from the time when rock 'n' roll was played on electric guitars then SoG are the perfect remedy. It's all big amp sounds and shouty choruses just like it used to be. The choice of Manics producer Dave Eringa on their latest album offering 'Angels And Enemies' was hence very fitting. Playing: Touring this Autumn.

Vasco Da Gama Track: Them Teeth Rock bands usually go down two paths. You can write catchy pop tunes people dance to or you can create something complicated for people to mull over. Vasco Da Gama seem to have created a third way in which complex dual guitar lines and lengthy instrumental sections can live in harmoniously alongside doo wop vocals and kick ass riffs. Playing: October 26th at the Shipping Forecast, Slater St

All We Are

Track: Cardhouse

Liverpool seems to have its fair share of psychedelic folk groups and this multinational trio is certainly one of the best. The sonic experimentation is deep and heavy while the huge, almost orchestral, harmony sounds are reminiscent of bands like Fleet Foxes and Arcade Fire. Playing: October 11th @ Kazimier, Wolstenholme Square.

Ninetails Track: Rawdon Fever Ninetails are purveyors of lush indie pop with tight, dancey drums and some leftfield guitar sounds. Interest is generating fast for these lads and each online release is spawning new fans across the country. Jump on board now and tell your mates you heard ‘em first... Playing: October 20th @ Shipping Forecast. eless Wir33

Metro Manila Aide

Track: From Liverpool To Manila

Liverpool's strangest and most uncompromising cult band are back, and it's about time too. The Liverpool scene just wasn't the same without them. With equal parts surrealist poetry, hardcore punk and riff laden speed metal, what's not to like? Playing: 1st and 2nd Dec, Metrofest at The Lomax, Cumberland St

Alpha Male Tea Party Track: Depressingly Shit Lunchtime Sandwich Just as partial to school boy shorts as they are to heavy guitars, Alpha Male's live shows can often be raucous and sweaty affairs. A large part of what they play is nerve shatteringly heavy instrumental rock and when the few lyrics do kick it gets very Rage-like. Playing: September 22nd at Mello Mello, Slater St

David Masson

Track: Pick A Place

A regular frequenter of Liverpool's many fine acoustic venues, singer David Masson is capable of writing some heart-wrenchingly honest music. Fans of Eliot Smith should certainly be paying attention. Playing: Recording his new album at the mo, so nothing planned at present.

Married To The Sea Track: Metropolitan This guitar ensemble create awesomely danceable indie magic that in the past has earned them support slots for The Future Heads, Spinto Band and Idlewild. Playing: Sept 27th, Dovedale Social at Dovedale Towers, Penny Lane

The Elemental Orchestra

Track: Science of the Spirit

You might think that decent hip-hop was hard to come by in the North of England, but you’d be wrong - however it's always a must-see whenever you get a huge band like The Elementals doing it for live and for real. Their shows at the Kazimier are so good they're almost legendary. Playing: Not strictly Elementals, but rapper Mak runs the Scratch n Spit night every other Friday at Djangos Riff, Wood St.

Always The Quiet Ones Track: Drought We can only assume that the name is ironic or something because ATQO's music consists of ear-splitting alt rock riffery and vocals so grizzly they'd make a grizzly bear say 'Christ's cock, that's grizzly!' Playing: Oct 27th at The Krazy House Halloween Party, Wood St.

Bird Track: Monsters After a rather drastic line-up change earlier in the year, this Wirral-based doom folk trio have re-emerged more powerful than ever. Adele Emmas' hypnotic tales of witchcraft and monsters are truly spine-tingling. Their new EP 'Shadows' is a record you should buy. Playing: Bird's EP Launch is on Sept 21st at the Kazimier.

Loved Ones Track: Hell West Kirkby's number one experimental outfit produce a unique sound that's organic yet industrial, technological yet touching. It's all very perplexing and exciting stuff. Playing: There are rumours of a tour over October...

The Fire Beneath The Sea

Track: I Am

Although they're regulars at Mello's, TFBTS are more often seen performing their avant-garde, brass-band hip hop on Liverpool's high streets. Their music is completely improvised and the quality of the freestyle rap is breathtaking. Playing: Sept 21st at St Brides Church, Catharine St. eless Wir08

The Last Gambados Track: Don’t Mess Me Around This lot play the sort of music that makes you want dance around like a maniac, knees and arms flailing everywhere. Imagine The Coral had grown up in Kingston, (Jamaica, not upon-Thames) and they had a penchant for trumpets and sunshine. This track in particular, makes you want to don a pair of bermuda shorts and wear a daft straw hat while you drink rum from a pineapple. Make sure you catch these chaps live... Playing: Nothing pencilled in at the mo.

The Hummingbirds Track: Emma These guys encapsulate everything you would want in a scouse indie band. Like The La’s meets The Zutons over a pint of Cains in the Cavern. We like em. But don’t just listen to us though, they’re also Wayne Rooney’s favourite band. So there you go. Playing: 15th Sept at Zanzibar, Seel St.

Chasing Infinity

Track: ??

2012 Winners of the Liverpool Uni Band Society Battle of the Bands, this female fronted four piece are looking set to make some waves this year. They have the kind of bouncy enthusiasm of No Doubt, mixed in with the indie pop stylings of The Shins. You could definitely imagine this lot on the soundtrack to an American teen coming of age movie... Playing: ??

Jetta Track: Start A Riot The NME already loves her, and we can see why. Jetta is a breath of fresh air in the Liverpool music scene - described as “a little bit XX, a little bit Florence” her debut single Start A Riot could pack out dancefloors up and down the country if the radio stations catch on. This is pop at its very finest. Playing: Her next few gigs are down in London!

download your free copy here or visit

It’s completely free, just click “buy now” and then you can choose not to pay a penny. If you do pay money, then we’ll give the money to CALM (the Merseyside based charity Campaign Against Living Miserably)

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(yes, we know there are 15 days there, but fortnight was catchier)


Asylum @ Republik & Penthouse – Liverpool J o h n M o o r e s University BeatFeast @ The Magnet – Liverpool J o h n M o o r e s University International Enrolment @ LIPA

Crunk @ Bumper – University Of Liverpool Secret Warehouse Event @ TBC – Liverpool John Moores University Freshers Fair @ Tithebarn St LJMU

UV Traffic Party @ Privelege – University Of Liverpool Emergency Services 999 Fancy Dress @ Walkabout – LJMU and Liverpool

Freshers Fair @ Tithebarn St LJMU

Welcome Party @ LIPA


Friday 14th Sept @ Detention Livepool Guild Of Students – Uni Of Liverpool Cool it! Mondays @ Privelege –LJMU House Party @ Baa Bar – LJMU Freshers Fair @ Haigh - LJMU

Dirty Antics @ Bumper – LJMU and Uni Of Liverpool

Pre-Med Wed @ Liverpool SU – LJMU Medication @ Nation – LJMU

@ V o d k i s s Revolution & Alma De Cuba – LJMU and Uni Of Liverpool

Freshers Fair @Haigh - LJMU Silent LIPA

A s y l u m Republik Penthouse LJMU and Uni Liverpool

@ & – Of

Gig night @ Kazimier LIPA

BeatFeast @ The Magnet – LJMU and Uni Of Liverpool

Freshers Fair @Haigh - LJMU


F r e s h e r s Opening Night @ The Venue – Edge Hill Uni Freshers Fair @ LGOS - Uni of Liverpool

Sunday 23rd Sept

Sports Star Fancy Dress @ Reflex – Uni Of Liverpool + Hope Uni Get Social @ The Venue – Edge Hill Uni Project X @ Studio Theatre – Edge Hill Uni Gameshow Night @ LIPA

Wednesday 26th Sept


UV Rave & Headphone Disco @ Liverpool Guild Of Students – Of Liverpool

Tuesday 18th Sept

Foam Party @ Walkabout – Uni Of Liverpool + Liverpool Hope University


Big Guild Quiz @ Liverpool Guild Of Students – Uni Of Liverpool

Monday 17th Sept

Thursday 20th Sept


Sunday 16th Sept

Freshers Fair @Haigh - LJMU

Gossip Extra @ Passion & Gbar – LJMU and Uni Of Liverpool


Saturday 15th Sept

Emergency Services Crawl @ LIPA

Gossip @ Garlands – LJMU and Uni Of Liverpool

Uni Of



Friday 21st Sept Where's Wally @ Privelege – Uni Of Liverpool + Hope Uni House Party @ Baa Bar – Uni Of Liverpool Mathsoc Welcome Party @ Baa Bar – Uni Of Liverpool UV Paint Glow Party @ The Venue – Edge Hill



Wednesday 19th Sept Lazy Day Movie Welcome Ball Feat Zane Marathon @ Marylebone @ Liverpool LoweHarrow And Campuses – Guild Of Students – Uni Of Westminster LJMU 2 and Uni Of @ Back Skool Party Liverpool College Froebel Roehampton Uni @ The The Freshers Big Pub Quiz Pre Gathering Venue – EdgeCollege Hill @ Imperial University Union – Imperial College London @ LIPA School DiscoGrand @ The Clapham RSU

Saturday 22nd Sept Big Guild Quiz @ LGOS – Uni Of Liverpool Dirty Antics @ Bumper/Baa Bar – Uni Of Liverpool + Hope Uni Mathletes Pub Crawl @ The Font – Uni Of Liverpool Jameela Jamil DJ Set @ The Venue – Edge Hill Uni

Monday 24th Sept

Tuesday 25th Sept

Gossip @ Garlands – Uni Of Liverpool + Hope Uni

BeatFeast @ The Magnet – Uni Of Liverpool + Hope Uni Mathsoc House Party @ Uni Of Liverpool

Gossip Extra @ Passion & Gbar – Uni Of Liverpool + Hope Uni

Silent Disco @ The Venue – Edge Hill Uni

Ormskirk Town Takeover @ Edge Hill Uni

Closing Party @ LIPA

Mathsoc Poker Night @ Liverpool

Uni Of

Thursday 27th Sept

Friday 28th Sept

Our locally sourced British food, cask ales from Liverpool One Brewery and continental beers create a great ambiance Try us for a drink, dine in a cell, attend our events or hire our function room Tel 0151 709 7000 email facebook Liverpool One Bridewell twitter @Lpool1Bridewell web

1 Campbell Square, Argyle Street, Liverpool L1 5FB

Pub Dining Events Functions Excellence

Relaxing, eating and drinking in the truly arresting surroundings of this former gaol is a unique experience

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This month, we will be mostly... ...listening to Dog Is Dead A l l O u r Favourite Stories Out 8th Oct

The unnervingly talented, and remarkably underrated Dog Is Dead, play the kind of happy-go-lucky sax fuelled indie that makes you want to want to high five strangers and tip your hat to the local shopkeeper. Stand out tracks such as Glockenspiel Song and new single Talk Through The Night are guaranteed to get you on to the dancefloor.

Muse The 2nd Law Out 1st Oct

Their recent s i n g l e Unsustainable has sparked much controversy amongst the keyboard warriors of the world (most of the comments consisting of a simple "what the fuck?") but there is no denying that Muse's experiment with dubstep is a surprise success. Admittedly their Olympics song ‘Survival’ left something to be desired, but even The Beatles released [INSERT ANYTHING RINGO SANG HERE] at some point...

Everthing Everything Cough Cough Out 14th Oct

Back again with their new single, "Cough Cough", Everything Everything have managed to bring us fresh material while maintaining their signature falsetto mathpop sound. And they are out

on tour over September too. Sexy times.

...and a classic Weezer Pinkerton Arguably the best Weezer album amongst fans, this album was slated when it came out, which subsequently influenced Rivers Cuomo to write totally shite songs about Beverly Hills. Tracks like The Good Life and El Scorcho could easily be the soundtrack to your summer...

...going to see Looper Out 28th Sept

Just when y o u thought Back To The Future was the be-all and end-all of time travel films, Looper pops round and bitchslaps you with some brilliantly clever and original ideas. Long story short, Bruce Willis has to avoid being killed by himself in the past, which turns out to be Batman’s mate. Go see it.

...playing FIFA 13 Out 25th Sept PS3/PC/XBox 360

The football g a m e s o addictive that it is now available on the NHS as an alternative to methadone. With a load more features including more player interaction, it’s a good job it’s out a few months before the exams or you’d all be buggered...

...drinking Jack Honey


Dubbed "Honey Nectar of the Gods", the sweeter new s p i r i t i s fantastic on it's own- but i t ' s r e a l novelty is that it can be mixed with almost ANYTHING and taste good. You can put it in your lemonade, coke, tonic water, other spirits. In your coffee at work. Or even your nan's tea, when she wants to watch Antiques Roadshow. .

...wearing T h e o l d f l u f f y v i n t a g e /statement cardigan/ jumper/woolly-arsething in the back of the wardrobe.

It's back to Uni time, which for the most of us means the art of making an effort goes out the window. Not to mention it's about to get cold again and while the weather is inbetween, there is nothing quite like wearing your Dad's old jumper from 1976 and pretending it's a "statement". Don't forget your satchels.

...ignoring Pub Golf Pubs, everywhere.

Sorry, we’re not being boring, but it is truly the most fucking stupid way to spend an evening. Don’t be a sheep. Although Pub Sheepdog Trials would be more interesting...

Wireless 13

8 people you’ll meet in halls this year! words: Laura Griffiths illustration: Becky Ryan

Moving into halls for the first time usually signals; newfound freedom, no parental supervision and even cereal for tea! But we're here to break it to you that you may have just swapped your rents for some equally odd characters... And THEY don't even come with the benefit of doing your washing. You have been warned...

the nympho Or just a bit 'loose' shall we say. Survival items? Ear plugs and disinfectant. You know that grubby shower you dreaded using when you first moved in? Well, she'll have Johnny Chino-pants in there with her by the end of the first week and will be bragging about it to you over your Cheerios the morning after. Sexay.

the one who steals your food First it's just a swig of your milk with a polite 'please' and 'cheers' and of course you won't ask them to replace it because you know, it was off anyway. Next thing you know, they've swiped your last Chicago Town leaving you with nothing but a note saying 'Soz' and turns out it's written on one of your own bloody Post It notes.

the mum

the invisible one W i l l k n o w everyone's full names, families and shoe size within the first ten minutes and will assume responsibility of passing this vital information on to you upon arrival. Can come in useful though; how does this person know y o u r e x a m timetable before you?!

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Rarely comes out of their room except for basic survival needs such as food and hygiene yet will wait for the sound of bedroom doors closing to make sure no-one's about. Top tip when bored: Open and close your door numerous times to confuse them and watch them scarper away with their half cooked spaghetti hoops on toast.

the geek Seems far too excited about using their new matching Paperchase stationery set and doesn't quite realise the concept of first year ‌ Unless wait, you're supposed to work?

the bitch You've got to ask with this one; If you hate people so much, why the hell did you decide to live in halls?

the stoner Says 'chilled' just a little too much for you to take them seriously and their room can normally be spotted by following the door with the funny smell and the sound of a lengthy Halo sesh coming through at 4am.

the party animal Determined to be the ultimate student clichĂŠ, after seeing one too many party movies. Seems like fun at first with their indestructible liver and 'crazy' antics, like they were the first person in the world to steal a traffic cone, but will eventually get on your nerves when they've fallen asleep on the bog for the third night in a row and you're desperate for the loo.

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words: Ben Gibson


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Russell Howard’s Good News returns to BBC Three, 9.00pm Thursday 27th September and the Best Bits of Series 2 are available to own on DVD from Monday 24th September.



along with your Text COMPS 5 plus your answer, 430 name and town/city to 07786 202 eless Wir21



Earlier this year we ran a short piece of copy on our news page about a burger. 'The Beast' is the brainchild of Vas Herodotou, the owner of Burgers At Blacks, a restaurant in Purley, South London. At 18,000 calories the sandwich contains a man's recommended food intake for a whole week. In one sitting the meal would make a very indulgent suicide for a carnivorous mammal. It was a great novelty story but it never occurred to me that one day I might come face to face with the monster and be locked in a life and death struggle like the gladiators of yore. (Little bit OTT there Joe - Ed) Giant food stories are tena-penny for the reason that they’re an easy record. All you need to do is throw enough batter together, fuck a hole in the middle and call it the world's biggest doughnut. The Beast was different however, and the

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media were all over it. As well as extensive print coverage there was a segment on Channel Five's The Wright Stuff and ITV's This Morning. So what was so special about this latest experiment in over-sized cuisine? Europe's largest burger isn't a scrap on the world's which is fifteen cubic feet, but that's a gross-smelling piece of furniture, not a challenge. The stroke of genius wasn't just to make a burger that was record-

draw that had left so many dreams and stomachs shattered. In the weeks I spent training for my challenge a lot of people asked me why I was doing it. It was a good question. Why do two people a year die climbing Mt. Everest? What goes through

“Be careful. It can kill you.” the manager told me. I'm still not sure whether he was referring to the burger or the knife... breakingly large, but to make one that you could order yourself and even stand a chance of eating. The timing couldn't have been better. Just as the Beast was created, the Zeitgeist was also being captured by a certain American TV show: “As fans of Man Vs. Food we wanted an English equivalent,” said Vas. The success of the show in the UK is surprising when you consider that the idea of a professional eater has always been used as anecdotal evidence for the gluttony of our stateside cousins. Rather than watching on in horror British audiences have gained an appetite for their own culinary challenges. So far no contender had successfully consumed the Beast and it wasn't long into my research that I began to feel the same mysterious

the mind of an animal like Sweet Pea, the canine who currently holds the world record for 'Most Steps Walked Down By A Dog Facing Forward While Balancing A Glass Of Water On Its Head'? Perhaps if you don't already know the answer to these questions you'll never find out. Even in the most discreet corner of Black's the arrival of the Beast was bound to attract a few stares. “This one's six ounces,” the waitress said nodding to my colleague Dave's Hawaiian burger, “but this one's one hundred and five.” None of the photographs had prepared me for The Beast in the flesh. It wasn't just its physicality that made it impossible to eat; I'd never seen something so large and organic that wasn't a sentient being. The burger

may not have had feelings but it certainly had character. “You'll need this.” The manager, Tony, passed me a six-inch blade and then said: “Be careful. It can kill you.” I'm still not sure whether he was referring to the burger or the knife. I'd been given some bad advice that if you eat something fast enough you can trick your body into thinking it's not full. As it turns out this is not true at all. Despite wolfing down the first few bites I was immediately surprised at the quality of the meal. I can honestly say that this was the best burger I'd ever tasted. The Beast's 2 inch thick patties retained an extraordinary amount of the meat's juices and the taste was exquisite. Unfortunately I couldn't savour it for long before the pain started to set in. Taking such huge bites meant that hunks of the burger were becoming lodged in my gullet. The massive milkshake the Beast came with wasn't a further challenge but served as essential lubrication. I felt like a cartoon pelican swallowing an anvil. It was only 20 minutes in before I hit a wall. I was a third of the way through and although I couldn't quite believe that the chunk missing was now in my stomach the idea of finishing the rest was unthinkable. Like David Hasselhoff after fifteen pints, no matter how much I wanted the burger, it wasn't going in. It was humiliating to concede defeat. God, if no-one else, knows that I tried. Maybe that's what counts, at least that's what losers tell themselves. The half of the burger we had left we took with us. No point letting it go to waste. The fifty ounces of meat served as a great ice-breaker and bought me some friends and booze at the hostel I was staying in. What we didn't eat we distributed amongst London's thriving homeless population. On this occasion the Beast had won but I don't feel like my plight was in vain. Other champions shall rise from the ashes of my downfall. Some shall win and some shall share my fate, but all the while pioneers like Vas Herodotou s h a l l c o n c o c t VERDICT?: larger and larger culinary behemoths for them to sink their teeth into. My war might be over, but the age of B r i t i s h competitive eating has just begun. (SORRY JOE) eless Wir23

words: james mottram


A quick word with the writer, director and all round clever bugger behind the arguably the best sci-fi film in years... W i t n e s s m e ets The Terminator – that's one way to describe Rian J o h n s o n ' s extraordinary new scifi film Looper. Primarily set in 2044, Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Joe, a mob assassin – known as a 'looper' – whose targets are sent to him from thirty years further

in the future, a point when time-travel has finally been invented. But problems start when he recognizes his next hit as his future self (Bruce Willis), who escapes his death and begins to run amok. Coming after Johnson's promising 2005 debut, the high school neo-noir Brick,

a n d h i s r a t h e r disappointing con-men follow-up The Brothers Bloom, Looper is a remarkable step up for the 38 year-old writerdirector. After the deliberate “unwieldiness” of Bloom, says Johnson, “it felt like a nice new challenge would be to try and do something that was very, very focussed.” Unquestionably he has, crafting a clockwork-like story that's as tightly constructed as that giant of the genre, Back to the Future. An idea he initially conceived a decade ago as a short film, Johnson wrote and re-wrote until he ironed out every logic crinkle the timetravelling plot threw up. “I had it relatively easy with Looper, and it still gave me endless headaches,” he says. While he admits a liking for Shane Carruth's


indie Primer, which “really gets into the math of time-travel”, when I ask if he cast Willis as a nod to his role in Terry Gilliam's Twelve Monkeys, he denies it. “It might have even been a little frightening, that connection, just because that's such a seminal timetravel movie.” Rather, Johnson wanted to play with “that Bruce Willis thing”, as he puts it – the actor's oft-heroic persona. “I didn't want to just play Bruce against type. I wanted to play him to type, but in a way that has some really deep moral complications.” One of the myriad pleasures of Looper is watching the star interact with his 'younger self' – Willis even recorded his voice for Gordon-Levitt, so the younger actor could emulate him. “I think Bruce made some comment to Joe like 'Ah, you sound like me!'” As for Gordon-Levitt – fast-becoming one of the year's hottest actors after The Dark Knight Rises – Johnson wrote

Scan the QR code to watch the trailer

specifically for him. Having worked together on Brick, he first told the actor about the idea back when it was a short-movie script. “This thing has been brewing between us for a long while,” Johnson says. There's even room for British actress Emily Blunt to turn in one of the performances of her career – but to explain her role as single mother/farm owner Sara would reveal too much of Johnson's deliciously dense tale. Suffice it to say, after a summer of big-budget sequels, remakes and

reboots, Looper is refreshingly original – even if its director is too modest to say so. “The word 'original' itself is a kind of a misnomer,” he says. “A lot of the imagery in the film, you can point to everything from Witness to Blade Runner to Akira.” Even so, blending sci-fi with horror and romance, Johnson frequently throws us for a loop. “That's what I place a premium on,” he says. “A movie that's going to go places I don't expect it to.”

Looper is released in cinemas on 28th Sept

“It felt like a nice new challenge would be to try and do something that was very, very focussed...” eless Wir25

Festival Round Up

Our guide to some of the summer’s best festivals, reviewed and photographed by you....


words: emma williams

klife As its usual glorious mudfest, Par e-up lin ty didn't disappoint with a hef s. act ne of genre leading DJs and headli been booked for almost every has he proved why

Labrinth's set g it with his soaring choruses Brit festival this summer; killin DJ slot set the tone for the e's and loveable synth mic. Zane Low ix of Jay-Z and Kanye. Dizzee rem g tin mel e fac a h wit ht nig first wed the Manchester crowd why he Rascal closed the weekend and sho ite. is renowned as a festival favour

Beach Break

words: emma williams Chase and Status' set was inc redible, even just for the col ossal turn-out on the field. 20,000 stu in a muddy field on a Welsh coa dents and graduates collected stline at dusk to see one of the biggest names in electro. Highlight of the long weekend had to be listening to the 'it ' man of the moment, Ben Howard clo se his set with his debut single 'The Wolves ' at sunset. I'll also never forget my bewild ered state one murky morning when I came acr oss Levi Roots performing some reggae classi cs.


words: michael glynn

ary of This year's Download saw the 10th annivers er bett the biggest rock festival in the UK and what and k drun way is there to celebrate than getting listening to loud music?

ntly reformed With The Prodigy, Metallica and a rece the bill, ing topp ath Sabb (minus one member) Black any time y part this ng etti forg be t 100,000 punters won' load Down in soon. 2012 saw the most diverse line up l rsia rove cont most the g history with Chase & Status bein the even e stag that hit they once act in recent years but most ardent of metal heads were won over. That's not to say there was no shortage of rock music though, with the likes of Machine Head, Slash and Trivium providing plenty of material for thos e more take n to headbanging than bodypopping. Here's to another ten years!



words: rosey brown Boomtown festiv al has grown in popularity year blessed by sunn y weather, 2012 after year, and saw it blossom dystopian mass. into a sprawlin g With legendary ac a wonderful surp ts such as Tanya Stephens, the Sk ri Cliff, the fest se guest appearance from regg atalites, and ival was a gr ae giant Jimmy mixture of old and new. Highli eat ghts of the new in inducing electr cluded the joyo swing of Cara Palace, chille van d back reggae from Natty, and dirt y dubstep from Jack Beats.


words: harriet midgley

Hideout Festival, although only in its second year is already one of Croatia's biggest summer festivals. With tight connections to popular UK electro events including The Warehouse Project and Chibuku the line-up was bound to be amazing. I got the chance to see Annie Mac, Claude VonStroke, and Chase & Status all for a surprisingly cheap £99. And, if the line-up isn't exciting enough, the more adventurous amongst you can try bungee jumping over the crowd. As you do.

Leeds/Reading words: zoe waterson / alan ormrod

With arguably the best line up in recent years, Leeds and Reading 2012 certainly packed a punch. Top billed bands included Paramore, The Cure, Kasabian, The Black Keys and the one and only Foo Fighters! And it hardly rained at all! The punk stage was a popular choice throughout the three days, with bands such as Random Hand and Me First & The Gimme Gimmes causing all manner of mayhem. At the Reading site, shock inclusions Green Day played an astounding set, ranging from golden oldies like 'Welcome to Paradise' to the brand new 'Oh Love'. Overall though, none could top the legendary Foos. Their set included rarely played songs such as 'Winnebago' and 'Alone & Easy Target' and closed the show with classic 'Everlong' the lyrics of which summed up the whole festival experience “If everything could ever feel this real forever...”

For all the full festival reviews and pictures visit Remember, we’re always looking for new writers, so get in touch via the website for more info! eless Wir27

Do you think outside of the box? Wireless Magazine has the following vacancies available in this area:

Journalists We’re constantly on the lookout for new writers to contribute to the magazine! Wireless is entirely written by students, for students, as the whole aim is to give up and coming journos the opportunity to get their work published across the UK.

Regional Music Editor We’re looking for one person to oversee the music scene side of things over in the area. You’ll have a team of writers working with you, but you’ll be the head honcho that decides who does what. This involves getting tickets to about three million gigs this year and possibly investing in some ear plugs....

Brand Manager Are you studying marketing or events management? This is probably an ideal job for you. We’re looking for one person to oversee regular events in the city to help promote the magazine. You’ll also be responsible for the street team, who will essentially be your bitches. (Not really.)

Street Team Possibly the least mentally taxing job outside of a burger restaurant, we’re looking for people to distribute magazines and generally help promote the mag to students around the city. Easy money, basically. Email us at with a CV and covering letter Please make sure you include your area (i.e. Liverpool, London etc) and the job you are after, in the subject title. Or give us a shout if you just want a bit more information about the roles. Or even if you just want to say hello. We’d love to hear from you.



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words: joseph smith


possibly the biggest band you’ll think you’ve never heard of... This time last year the band Fun. were a relatively littleknown US indie band. One Jeff Bhasker-produced album and a couple of multi-platinum selling singles later and they're one of the biggest international names in pop.

Following two sold out London shows earlier this year, Fun.'s UK tour kicks off in October. We got to talk to the band's guitarist and founding member Jack

Antonoff about being on the road: “We've played the UK in the past many times with our other bands, but this feels like the moment when we're really going to make a go for it. I think there is a level of synergy that we haven't had. When we've come to the UK in the past it's been very random.” When Fun.'s single We Are Young was released in the US it was the first of a multimember rock band to top the Billboard hot 100 chart in over a decade. The song also

life “In my personal l fucked everything's al up...”

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made download history; at the time it stood as the first and only song to have ever sold over 300,000 downloads consecutively for seven weeks straight. Now the Band has received two nominations at the MTV Video Music Awards. So what effect has fame worldwide fame had on the band? “Musically things haven't changed much because my goals have always been the same. As a band we've always wanted to play lots of shows and give everything we've got whether we're playing to one hundred people or ten thousand people. “In my personal life everything's all fucked up. There's been no time for anything, and you know, everything comes at a great cost. The demand and stuff for us to do is just more than ever. If we didn't have the three of each other to rely on then I'd probably be weeping in a hotel room somewhere.” Fun.'s UK tour starts on 2nd October @ Shepherd's Bush Empire, London. For more dates check out


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is your perfect THE MASS whathangover cure? DEBATE

(warning: contains real life opinions of some rather vulgar people)

Johnathan, Liverpool Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Jonathan: You need to scare the hangover out of you with the terrifying world of opposites. The best two being a hot bath followed immediately by a cold shower and then maybe a cup of tea and some ice cream. Wireless: So how does that work? Jonathan: Your body wont know what’s going on and you'll be cured. Or you’ll have a heart attack...

Laura, London Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Laura: Normal full fat coke. Must be in a can, freezing cold and drunk within 5 minutes of opening. You feel like arse for a few minutes, then you burp all the hangover demons out.

Nick, Barrow Upon Soar Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Nick: Phoning people more hungover than me and screaming at them.

Alex, Doncaster Wireless: Hello Alex, so tell us what is your perfect hangover cure? Alex: A full litre of pure orange juice, some scrambled egg on toast then a trip to Toby Carvery. Always works!

Phil, Liverpool

Wireless: What is your perfect h a n g o v e r c u r e ? Phil: Eggs for the cysteine, which helps break down the acetaldehyde, and a banana for potassium replacement, an isotonic sports drink like Powerade for dehydration and replacing lost salt. Fucking Science.

Robyn, Leeds Wireless: So Robyn, tell us, what is your perfect hangover cure? Robyn: Water, Diet Coke, a meatball Subway and chips and then my box set of Friends.

Matt, Coventry Wireless: Hello Matt, so what is your perfect hangover cure, young man? Matt: Bacon, fried eggs, tea and a wank. Wireless: Delightful. Moving on...


James,Liverpool Wireless: So what is your perfect hangover cure, James? James: Two paracetamol, the rest of last night’s kebab, and 12 hours bed rest before bed.

Jasmine, Liverpool Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Jasmine: Sex. It'll either make you forget how shit you feel or you'll get ketchup bottle syndrome’ Wireless: Ketchup bottle what now? Jasmine: A couple of bangs on the rear end and it all comes out the mouth. Try it! Apart from maybe being covered in vom what's the worst that can happen?

Isaac, Liverpool

Khia, Manchester

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Isaac: Lipton's Peach Ice Tea is pretty good. The perfect blend of caffeine, sugar, and r e f r e s h m e n t . But the only thing that properly cures a hangover is the hangover poo...

Wireless: Hello Khia. What is your perfect hangover cure? Khia: A million bags of crisps, a huge bottle of fizzy pop and three series of "Black Books".

Bethan, Liverpool Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Bethan: I sing songs as I'm vomiting. Wireless: Any in particular? Jane: So far my song bank consists of the opening to Bump N' Grind by R. Kelly, and also pointing at my vomit repeatedly saying "there's my soul, I threw up my soul.". I have a picture, you can use it. Wireless: Erm, wow thanks that sounds lovely. Anyway...

Michael, Durham

Paul, Coventry

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Michael: Berocca, Vitamin C tablets, lots of water, then tea. In that order.

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Paul: I like to stuff their body parts into bin bags, weigh the bags down with rocks, take my boat out and dump the bags over board into a marine trench. Wireless: Ok. Wait, what...?

Andrew, Liverpool

Wireless: What is your perfect hangover cure? Andrew: You know I suffer terribly with hangovers. I used to get in, eat my McD’s with a ton of salt and tomato sauce, have about 5 pieces of bread to mop up the ketchup, have a couple of multi vitamins and a couple of vitamin c tablets and then stand at the sink with a pint glass and wash it all down with as much water as I could drink... Never worked.

NEXT MONTH: WHAT SUPERPOWER WOULD YOU WANT AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH IT? Text 07930 496 605 or email us at texts are your standard network charge.

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BEN DREW Badass Rapper Turned Badass Copper

When musicians crossover to film the results can range from disastrous (see Britney Spears), to brilliant (Johnny Depp) to downright bizarre (David Bowie). So you'd be wise to be a little trepidatious at the news that Ben Drew, the man best known as rapper and songwriter Plan B, has just taken one step further into a movie career. His latest album Ill

Manors is the sound track to a film of the same name, which he directed. However,

a down-to-earth copper in the film adaptation of 70s TV show The Sweeney, which premieres on the 12th of September this year. We caught up with Ben and asked him if it felt strange playing a policeman. “I had to think about what would make me, Ben Drew, become a copper. I didn't have a great relationship with the police when I was younger. My back-story, in my head, is that there has been a tragedy in the family, an injustice. We are trying to say that my past is from a council estate, from the

“My experience of police is they were not likeable. I had to think 'Have I ever met any coppers who were alright?'...” contrary to what ideas you may have about rappers doing anything apart from rapping, the feature received rave reviews. Now Ben plays George Carter,


wrong side of the tracks. So what would make someone like that become a copper, knowing that all their friends would turn against them?” It is not the first time that

Ben has ventured into a film role, but so far his characters have notably been on the other side of the law. In 2008 he played a part in award-winning youth drama Adulthood which chronicled the lives of disadvantaged young men turning to crime, and in Harry Brown his character is evil enough to shoot a lovably old Michael Caine. “I think he [the character of Carter] would turn a blind eye to soft drugs and underage drinking. I don't think he is concerned with that part — speeding fines and TV licences and things like that. With crime there are a lot of grey areas. Not every drug dealer is a horrible c—t. Serial killers, murderers and rapists — that is who he is concerned with. My experience of police is they were not likeable. I had to think 'Have I ever met any coppers who were all right?' And I have. I have met some really nice geezers who have told me they are police and

when I met them I thought they were in it for the right reasons... the same reasons that Carter is in it for. “ One big incentive for Mr. B to star in The Sweeney was the chance to play alongside legendary cockney actor Ray Winstone. “Ray was the only hero. I always wanted to be in a film with him. Obviously, not to play alongside him but just to be a support to him, so it was a massive boost to me. I had met Nick [Love, director]a couple of times before he offered me the role, and I got along with him. He invited my mate and me to the Outlaw set, and we were extras and that. It was nice.” Although the name is the same, the new version of The Sweeney strays far from the plot of the original series. Director, Nick Love has expressed his intention of building an action blockbuster around the setting of contemporary London and one of the scenes in the trailer even depicts Trafalgar Square as the location of a shoot out. The spirit of the TV show remains however, and theme of cops as dubious anti-heroes is the main premise. “When I met Ray we discussed Carter's backstory. This film is more like

what they did with Casino Royale and with Batman Begins, being inventive, so it allowed us to invent a back-story for Carter. “I look and I see what exactly I am doing wrong and do my best to change it. I don't think you should ever approach a film and think 'I want to get a BAFTA out of this' because you won't. Just try to get through it and don't embarrass yourself.” Although the term 'gritty social realism' is an overused cliché in regards to British Cinema, the thing that separates both Ben Drew's and Nick Love's film work from Hollywood blockbusters is the sense that they aren't intended to be pure entertainment. So

what lesson, if any, can we take from the characters in The Sweeney? “It's loyalty over everything. If you haven't got loyalty in any walk of life, no matter how far you get, you're in trouble. You can get right to the top and look back and be very lonely because you have fucked all your mates to get there. It is very important to get to the top but keep your mates, and if you can't do that then fuck getting to the top at all.” The Sweeney is released in cinemas nationwide on Sept 12th

scan the qr code to watch the trailer here

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On Threeen Big Sc the best bits at the pictures this month

Well it's been a while since the last preview/guess page. This is our round up of what to watch this/next month and a good stab at the

possible plot. We must have pissed someone off as we now get invites to press screenings, but that would just ruin the fun...

On The Road in cinemas Fri 12th Oct Jack Kerouac's 1959 cult classic has been made into a movie starring the girl from Twilight (Kristen Stewart). Moving on, the book is rumoured to be written in 1951 entirely on toilet roll and documents the author's spontaneous road trips across the America. This is a classic from the beat generation and is definitely worth giving a go. In truth the cast is excellent and it's directed by Walter Salles (2004's The Motor Cycle Diaries). If nothing else the book will pop up every half hour of so at every student party you ever attend. Maybe you can chip in before someone brings up Hunter S Thompson.

Paranorman 3D in cinemas Fri 14th Sept Don't be put off by the marketing campaign, this is not the latest kids cash cow to fall off the production line. From the same team that brought

you 2009's Coraline this is a visual feast to be enjoyed by all ages. As you can guess from the title it's about a kid who can see ghoulish things knocking about. Apparently he must do something epic to save his town and allow the plot to last 92 minutes.

Taken 2 in cinemas Thurs 4th Oct Remember the retired CIA guy who had a certain set of skills? Clearly one of those skills wasn't to stay the fuck out of trouble and live the quiet life. If Bryan Mills (Liam Neeson) had a hobby, we guess it would quite literally be throwing shit directly into an industrial size fan. Don't worry his family haven't had the ridiculous misfortune (unless you need a sequel) of having another daughter kidnapped. This time Neeson must face the wrath of the mob boss whose goons he killed in the first movie. I'm betting on a high body count in this one, we will take each way bets on over 80 corpses.

Scan any of the QR codes to watch the trailer. For more film previews, reviews, trailers and ticket giveaways visit

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s e l b a e l UnGoog


words: Curt McArdle

The indie world loves a bit of mystery. Wu Lyf proved that. One time just four self proclaimed “dumb kids calling out for a place to call home”. An elusive, flare laden promo shot and a few interview rejections saw AR men scrabbling to grab a piece of them. It's a growing trend. No festival lineup is complete without at least 3 mask wearing acts or dropped vowels (Both, for Mr. SBTRKT). But what if that's not enough? Is it REALLY possible to stay hidden in a world where the latest track is one key word away? Masks hide your identity, but can they prevent your everyday skinny jeans NME type illegally downloading your album from PirateBay? Of course not... For the latest line of hipsters, Google is now the enemy. What was once the land of hope and glory for up and coming bands is considered a hindrance. A threat to persona. But it can be beaten. Whilst it may be a whizz with words, it struggles to get its head around symbols. (It's only 13 after all). Onslaughts of bands now enlisted Character Map as their friend in an attempt to remain underground in the age of technology. Most of them are really horrific, but a few are actually decent. Here's the best we could find:



(TZXTZX) So absolutely fucking stupidly over the top it


makes me want to cut my o p t i c a l n e r v e s . Unfortunately, TZXTZX's Zombie Rave Remixes actually have some substance, adding new sinister dimensions to sugar coated pop tracks. TZXTZX actually removed their ABBA “Gimme Gimme” remix when this feature was gaining momentum. Coincidence? 4)


Not entirely UnGoogleable as such, provided you get the right sequence of 0's and o's. o0o00 epitomise the 'Witch House' scene with Glitchy vox and crunching electro cymbals that would instill fear into Bear Grylls’ heart. 3)

(Alt J) The Triangle has long been the symbol of the mysterious. From the Egyptian pyramids to the Illuminati, no one can get enough of the 3 vertices. It's no surprise, then, that Leeds hipster 4 piece Alt-J incorporated the symbol into their name. Equal measures Jamie XX-esque post dubstep and Mr. Scruff trip hop, dusted with steel drums and Bhangra beats throughout made alt J's debut offering “An Awesome Wave” one of the essential summer albums of 2012.


(Chk Chk Chk) !!!'s name originated from t h e s u b t i t l e d interpretation of tribal “clicks”. Despite their initial obscurity, Chk Chk Chk have made waves all over the indie-sphere with their unique funk pop. Stand out single 'Yadnus' even made it onto GTA IV, and rightly so. 2)



(Ritualz) When the Chillwave scene fizzed out, a gaping ambient hole was left in music market Then †‡††appeared. All atmospheric synths and gloomy vocals compliment precision engineered visual art pieces to make Ritualz (also known as rritualzzz) one of the most blogged about underground artists of the past few years.

∆ (Alt J) Is it all for real though? I mean, sure, everyone loves to be a bit obscure, but can you be TOO difficult to find? At the end of the day, music is an industry. Bands need to make money. It doesn't matter how passionate musicians are, they still need to make a living. Is it all just an act, then? A publicity stunt? I suppose we could always ask them ourselves, but that'd mean blowing our cover...


words: Rachel Victoria Lewis

Most people best know Dan Le Sac (Daniel Stephens) for his collaborations with Scroobius Pip, in 'Angles' and 'The Logic of Chance'. Now currently on sabbatical to focus on his debut s o l o a l b u m Space_Between_The_Wor ds and imminent UK tour, Dan fancied a quick word with Wireless about procrastination, laptop witchcraft and getting his inspiration from some cheeky kids… I wasn't in my most familiar habitat when I recently called Dan (Le Sac), perched on the bed belonging to a very accommodating Parisian lesbian, nursing another French vino hangover. I was enjoying a quick


Couchsurfing venture to Paris, budgeting everything from the enduring hell that is Megabus, to living on a diet of frites and mayo (they drown them in that shit), but all too happy to pick up calling charges to have the chatting pleasure of my interviewee. There's something way more personal about someone talking through smoke filled words, knowing that's he's sat on his own too, in room somewhere wondering what this interview might bring him. For Dan, it was in 'The Studio', the space where his spends his days working, smoking, and he is “an awful procrastinator“ just the damn same as us students. He tells me he's a sucker for everything we're familiar with, browsing through Lovefilm, Tweeting, posting a Facebook status, although for Dan “it can take two

hours of my life away just answering random questions“. He admitted appreciatively “I realised my girlfriend started unplugging the internet before she leaves the at least I can get shit done.“' We talked about his new album and upcoming tour, and the freedom of this new chance for him to be seen in a new light as an artist as opposed to just being seen as 'Space_Between_The_Words’. The name for his album which was actually taken from a confrontation after a gig, “This kid came up to me in the street to tell me how shit I was, telling me I was nothing without Scroobius, that I was just the space between the words“. And in a wonderfully ironic and self-deprecating way Dan took inspiration from that insult and told him right

there “I'm going to call my album that“. He described his place in the duo, with Scroobius Pip, “Dreadlocked guys wanna talk to him about weed and politics, and teenage girls try to touch his beard“ whereas Dan gets the slightly overweight guy come up to him and ask him about his synths, chaos pads but he likes it that way because “I used to be one of those guys“. I was curious how such laptop jiggery witchcraft works, that us music mortals can barely begin to understand. He explained it's an instrument not a genre for a start, and it basically means his laptop is “a holder for all the samples, all the drums, synths“ and he triggers each of those sounds. So in his tour, he's still performing, it's still “hectic, live

appearances from the crazy Merz, Pete from Pete and the Pirates, to the lovely voice of Sarah Williams White. He seemed very self-assured in what he wants from the music industry and what the music means for him. This tour is about him having fun with music without the complicated politics, surprising his listeners

“My girlfriend started unplugging the internet before she leaves the house, so at least I can get shit done...” shenanigans“ but just “a modern gig“. Unlike Deadmau5, who just presses play and lets the gig happen - “If I walked off the stage it would all go wrong“. If you're at Dan's gigs you'd also expect to see guest

with a new sound, and showcasing interesting talent. We are a download generation and there's no changing that. Some of you might read this and listen to his album on Myspace, watch his recent set a Bestival on Youtube,

and share the video on Facebook, but in order to have that privilege, artists are touring, pushing merch, and sometimes having to plug product placement - all to satisfy our free viewing pleasure. Call us online PRs, generating publicity with our every like, share and view, but maybe sometimes we should give something back a little more tangible than virtual. Just don't play the poor student card, that's what you tell your Mum when you've spend all your rent money on Jager. You're only about 3 less pints, 3 less Starbucks frappé doo-dahs or 1 less pizza away from an awesome live show…. Space_Between_The_Words is out now, and Dan is touring all over the UK throughout October...

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get the look:


words: amy pay and clare barry

Freshers' season is upon us, and that means three things: new beginnings, excessive partying and an influx of money from your student loan. When you're dipping your toes into the excitement of university, you don't want to be limited by the contents of your wardrobe. At the same time, you can't afford to party hard and have the entire stock of a clothes store in your possession. The solution to this is to buy a couple of basic items that can be styled into workable, changeable outfits; think of it as recycling and restyling rather than outfit repeating. These outfits use one garment as the foundation piece for a number of versatile looks. Try it yourself!Both the girls and lads looks can be found at (where you can also get a cheeky 10% student discount!)

girls look This dress, also available in sugary pink or bold green, is easily styled into different looks with carefully chosen statement accessories. Try an eyecatching clutch bag to inject personality or switch between basic black wedges and colour-block heels depending on how formal (and how practical) you want to be.





lads look


Team either of these striped tees with dark tightfit jeans and baseball shoes for a casual day-tonight look or slim leg black chinos and a pair of simple lace ups for a smarter feel. TIGHT VERY LIGHT BLACK by CHEAP MONDAY £41.95 GOBI HEAVY by BOBBIE BURNS £ 71.95




and accessorise... Let us all put our pride away for a moment and admit that it doesn't matter how old we are, something buried deep within all of us still manages to get a little bit excited when the shops start advertising their "Back to School" merchandise. From four years of age, we're socially conditioned to believe that having the coolest pencil case will do good things for our social status. Unfortunately, many have us haven't managed to conquer this irrational impulse, so let us guide you through the social jungle with our "face it, I'm better than you are"freshers’ accessories... RETRO RANGE at PAPERCHASE, from £10

New range of slightly ironic laptop sleeves, camera cases and phone-cases from Paperchase, including a kindle cover that makes it look like a book. Particularly handy for the severely hung-over and brief outbursts of amnesia. 10% student discount For those of us simply too flippant to make our own decisions and potentially too drunk to remember the answers, Topshop have conveniently provided the magic eight ball in a pen, so we can t n t discou n e d u t write them down. s % 10 PREDICT A PEN from TOPSHOP - £5


Big enough to fit all your crap in, effortlessly cool and get 20% off with a valid student card. STATIONARY RANGE - MEDIUM NOTEBOOK from ACCESSORIZE - £6

Accessorize are offering 15% of all their stationary with a valid NUS card, which has all the quirky charm without stepping outside of student budget. eless Wir45

be the ! o r e h halls


How would you like to win the chance to treat yourself and 20 mates to a bloody awesome day? You’ve only just met these people, and now you’re all going to get treated like royalty, and of course you will be a hero on campus (at least for a while anyway!) for sorting it all. Wireless has teamed up with rock/indie superclub The Krazy House, bowling giants Hollywood Bowl and the ridiculously tasty Mexican restaurant Lucha Libre to give you the best possible start to uni you could ask for! We’ll even chuck in your travel courtesy of Delta Taxis!

Hollywood Bowl Edge Lane Retail Park • Montrose Way • Liverpool • L13 1EW Tel: 0845 826 1464 •

You know sometimes you might think “hey I’m darn good at bowling”? Well put down the Wii remote, and have a go in real life! It’s not easy, but it’s definitely fun. Hollywood Bowl is just a stones throw out of town, and they have all kinds of cracking student deals on - and there is a bar! They are giving you and your 20 mates two games of bowling each, and Fred Flintstone will also be handing out lessons (possibly a lie).

Lucha Libre Lucha Lubre • 96 Wood Street • Liverpool • L1 4DQ Tel: 0151 329 0200

Lucha Libre is a new mexican street food concept that serves authentic Mexican food from the state of Jalisco, Mexico. The majority of their food is slow cooked or marinated for many hours and we hope you can taste just how much love goes into it. Lots, that’s how much. Plus downstairs, night time becomes a Mexican cocktail fiesta at the underground bar Maya - including their now infamous Mayarita tequila cocktail. They have treats a plenty in store for all of you!

The Krazy House The Krazy House • 16 Wood Street • Liverpool • L1 4AQ 0151 708 5016 •

Celebrating its 21st birthday in the city this year, The Krazyhouse is the largest alternative student club in the North. Open every Thurs, Fri and Sat the club boasts three floors, playing the best in metal, alternative, indie, dance, chart and much more. Students should also be sure to check out the infamous All Nighters on the last Saturday of every month, when the club stays open til 6am. With all drinks 2-4-1, The “K” is part of every students' staple weekend diet. But be warned, it does what it says on the tin...


How To Enter Entering couldn’t be easier. It really couldn’t. All you need to do is head on over to our Facebook page at (or scan the QR code below), “like” the page and then tell us what uni you go to, and why you want to Be The Halls Hero!

SCAN ME es on Competition clos make sure 22nd October - so then! you get in before

massive thanks to:

Terms & Conditions Apply. No employees of UK Student Media or any of the participating companies are allowed to enter. Over 18's only . Entries must be made by 22nd October 2012. The winner will be notified via Facebook, and the prize must be claimed within 7 days of notification, or we’ll give it to a runner up. Winner will be chosen at random. Good luck!

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(and a bit)

Tues 11th Sept O2 Academy: Sue Denim The Kazimier: Sleepy Sun Parr St: Dean Masser

Wed 12th Sept Leaf: Art Magic O2 Academy: Revolution Liverpool ONE: Tickle The Ivories

Thurs 13th Sept Liverpool ONE: Tickle The Ivories The Shipping Forecast: Decade Dovedale Towers: The Dovedale Social, ft The Ragamuffins

Fri 14th Sept Anglican Cathedral: Rhys Chatham: A Crimson Grail for 100 guitars and 8 basses. Erics: Punk, Ska and Reggae Party Mello Mello: More Than Conquerors O2 Academy: 23 Fake Street

Sat 15th Sept


Cavern Pub: Ian Prowse The Shipping Forecast: Jonny Bongo's Monday Night Quiz

Tues 18th Sept O2 Academy: Ben Montague + Mike Markey Parr Street Studios: Stuart McCallum Leaf: Out Of The Bedroom Open Mic

Wed 19th Sept The Attic: Mark Nicholas O2 Academy: Revolution Zombie School Disco Leaf: Spotify Wednesdays

Tues 25th Sept O2 Academy: Dappy O2 Academy: Maleface The Kazimier: Simone Felice

Wed 26th Sept O2 Academy: Y & T The Epstein Theatre: Guitar Masters Tour The Kazimier: Jake Bugg

Thurs 27th Sept Eric's Club: Devon Sproule & Thomas Gill Pier Head Ferry Terminal: The Riverboat Shuffle

Thurs 20th Sept St George's Hall: Spiers & Boden The Shipping Forecast: Wet Nuns Leaf: Only Child Lomax: Indie Thursday Dovedale Towers: Rachael Wright

Fri 21st Sept O2 Academy: Nik Kershaw & His Band Capstone Theatre: Lighthouse The Green Room: Billy Joel & Barry Manilow Tribute The Kazimier: Bird – Shadows EP Launch

Azealia Banks: 2nd Oct @O2 Academy Festival – Ian Prowse + Humming Birds Ship & Mitre: Woody Guthrie Folk Club

Fri 28th Sept

Zanzibar Club: The Hummingbirds The Green Room: Michael Jackson Tribute Night O2 Academy: Idle Frets The Picket: Better Left Alone Pub: Andy’s birthday. Woo.

The Kazimier: 10 Bands 10 Minutes – One Hit Wonders The Phil: Marc Almond The Shipping Forecast: You Slut!

Sun 16th Sept

Sun 23rd Sept

Caledonia: Loose Moose String Band Crown Hotel: Hot Water Comedy Club Hope St Quarter: Hope Street Feast The Kazimier: Absolution Saxophone Quartet

The Shipping Forecast: Tall Ships The Cavern: Caroline Gilmore O2 Academy: Jody Has A Hitlist & The Afterparty

O2 Academy: Carpet Crawlers Empire Theatre: The Illegal Eagles Camp & Furnace: Liverpool International Festival Of Psychedelia

Mon 24th Sept

Sun 30th Sept

O2 Academy: Maverick Sabre O2 Academy: Thomas Nicholas Band The Philharmonic Hall: Dexys

The Kazimier: Silver Apples Eric's Club: Amateur Transplants Pier Head Terminal: The

Mon 17th Sept Cavern Club: The Two Of Us

Sat 22nd Sept

O2 Academy: Guns 2 Roses Cavern Club: The Small Fakers Eric's Club: Jason And the Scorchers View Too Gallery: Merry Hell & Mark Wyne

Sat 29th Sept

eless Wir49

Macgregor O2 Academy: Lianne La Havas The Lomax: Cerebra UK Charity Concert

Mon 8th Oct Mello Mello: The 1930s O2 Academy: A Plastic Rose + Wecamefromwolves Cavern Club: Jay Murray

NoMeansNo: 5th Oct @Kazimier

Tues 9th Oct

River Boat Shuffle Festival – Ian McNabb Floral Pavilion Theatre, New Brighton: Des O'Connor

Mon 1st Oct

O2 Academy: Mayday Parade & The Summer Set & The Natives Empire Theatre: Dirty Dancing Cavern Club: John Lennon's Birthday Celebrations

Wed 10th Oct

Cavern Club: Paul Jones Cavern Club: John Keats Echo Arena: John Bishop

Tues 2nd Oct O2 Academy: Azealia Banks Echo Arena: John Bishop Baa Bar: Rawhide Raw

Wed 3rd Oct Empire Theatre: The Sensational 60s Experience Leaf: Duotone Eric's Club: Al Lewis Mello Mello: Ruarri Joseph & Marc O'Reilly

Echo Arena: George Michael O2 Academy: The Virgin Mary's The Shipping Forecast: PINS & Bird The Philharmonic Hall: John Cooper Clarke

Thurs 11th Oct O2 Academy: Newton Faulkner O2 Academy: Hawklords Echo Arena: Cheryl

The Epstein Theatre: Dervish Liverpool University Guild Of Students: Ren Harvieu

Fri 12th Oct The Philharmonic Hall: The Real Thing The Green Room: Kings Of Swing Liverpool University Guild Of Students: Bastille

Sat 13th Oct

O2 Academy: Reverend And The Makers Nation: Cream's 20th Birthday Anniversary – Part 2 Capstone Theatre: Dean Friedman

Sun 14th Oct The Green Room: Ricky Tomlinson O2 Academy: Dive Bella Dive O2 Academy: Flux Pavilion

Mon 15th Oct O2 Academy: Dar Williams Empire Theatre: Dirty Dancing Cavern Club: Paul Jones

Thurs 4th Oct Empire Theatre: Tonight's The Night Mello Mello: The Moons O2 Academy: Marina & The Diamonds

Fri 5th Oct The Kazimier: Nomeansno Cavern Club & Pub: Are You Experienced Eric's Club: The Beat O2 Academy: Project

Sat 6th Oct O2 Academy: The Rollin' Clones The Kazimier: Field Music Eric's Club: The Travelling Band Nation: Cream's 20th Anniversary – Part 1

Sun 7th Oct Capstone


Married To The Sea – 27th Sept @ Dovedale Towers – MTTS Bring their gloriously danceable pop anthems to the new Dovedale Social night on Penny Lane. The night has had some great names so far and is absolutely free to get in. Take note, Smithdown folks, you’ll love it. Liverpool Comedy Festival – 27th Sept- 7th Oct @ various venues – Loads of proper lols, including Ross Noble, Jason Byrne and John Bishop. George Michael – 10th Oct @ George Michael – The former Wham star has taken time out of his busy schedule of getting off his barnet to visit the Echo Arena. You might want to leave early if you want to hit the road before he does. Dappy – 25th Sept @ 02 Academy – I once saw a bird's egg fall out of a tree and watched as the partially formed chick foetus screamed out silently for the life it never had, and I've still never seen anything as desperate as Dappy and Brian May working together.

Joanna eless Wir51

Tues 16th Oct O2 Academy: Spector & Splashh & Swim Deep The Kazimier: All We Are 02 Academy: Bowling For Soup

Wed 17th Oct The Philharmonic Hall: Ray Davies Eric's Club: Islands Capstone Theatre: Stacey Kent

Thurs 18th Oct Leaf On Bold Street: Ahab St. Georges Hall: Mary Coughlan

Dry The River: 24th Oct @The Kazimier Liverpool Empire Theatre: Dirty Dancing

Fri 19th Oct O2 Academy: Rick Astley Mello Mello: Acid Mothers Temple + Carlton Melt Capstone Theatre: Warm


Sat 20th Oct O2 Academy: Stone Roses Tribute Echo Arena: Deacon Blue Eric's Club: JettBlack The Pub: Liverpool v Reading

Sun 21st Oct O2 Academy: Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs The Philharmonic Hall: The Proclaimers Mello Mello: Azores + Windmill Moth Glue

Mon 22nd Oct

Fri 26th Oct The Kazimier: Dan Le Sac & Friends O2 Academy: Space O2 Academy: Myslovitz View Two Gallery: Liverpool Acoustic Live Capstone Theatre: Public Service Broadcasting

Sat 27th Oct The Kazimier: Lindstrom O2 Academy: The Wicked Whispers Magnet: Neville Staple

Sun 28th Oct

Capstone Theatre: Sonic Interactions: Lauren Hayes Zanzibar: The Songbook Sessions

The Cavern Club: The Quangos Mello Mello: Bo Ningen The Philharmonic Hall: Don McLean

Tues 23rd Oct

Mon 29th Oct

The Kazimier: Pokey Large Face & The South City Three O2 Academy: Benjamin Francis Leftwich O2 Academy: Heaven 17 Mello Mello: My Darling Clementine

Wed 24th Oct The Kazimier: Dry The River O2 Academy: Quandrant Echo Arena: Nicki Minaj

Thurs 25th Oct Leaf: Last Harbour O2 Academy: The Cribs Echo Arena: Snooker Legends


The Kazimier: Clock Opera Magnet: Tim Burgess Leaf: Josephine Foster

Tues 30th Oct The Kazimier: Black AKA ColinVearncombe Capstone Theatre: YoungChoon Park The Philharmonic Hall: Gerry & The Pacemakers

Wed 31st Oct O2 Academy: Lawson O2 Academy: Revolution The Cavern Pub: The Amazing Kappa Band


SE listingsliverpool@uks

All the latest news and info on Merseyside’ biggest and most important music festival...

After an amazingly successful 2012, Liverpool Soundcity is already planning its 2013 event. For a limited time only, music lovers can get their hands on early bird wrist bands which will allow you to see all of the bands for a measly £20 (a fraction of the £60 full price). Previous artists have included Florence and the Machine, The Wombats, Stealing Sheep, Enter Shikari, Mystery Jets,


Paloma Faith and hundreds more from the UK and over 23 different countries. For 2013 LSC will expand even further to include a full film festival program over the three days. As well cheap early bird tickets, student musos can take advantage of a 60% discount on a delegate pass. The pass will get you into the festival's expo and allow you network with professionals from Warner Music, EMI and Universal.

Students can get in for £65 instead of the £200 full price, a sound investment for budding musicians, p r o m o t e r s a n d entrepreneurs. Still not enough? LSC is giving away 4 full festival wristbands at the end of Sept and all you have to do is like their Facebook page...

FREE STUDENT ENTRY 73-75 Lime Street 0151 709 8809

WIN THESE: Text the word COMPS along with the competition number plus your answer to 07786 202430 including your name and uni. We’ll select the winner on the 1st November, and let you know if you’ve won asap! Texts are just your standard charge, we don’t make any sly profits or anything...



For your chance to win every prize on this page, simply log onto our Facebook page and “like” us. One new friend will be chosen at random on 1st Nov. It’s worth a shot!

1 The Pesto Manifesto! Pesto is, quite simply, the tastiest use of basil, olive oil, pine nuts and cheese known to humankind. You can stick it in your pasta, you can throw it on a pizza, you can lick it off a loved one. Whatever tickles your pickle, it’ll still taste awesome. So the absolute heroes at Sacla have given us a whole year’s supply of Pesto for you to win! Just tell us True or False, in the right quantities pesto can be mixed with peanut butter to make a delicious but deadly explosive.

the best pair of headphones you’ll 2 Probably ever own. You know sometimes when your favourite song comes on your iPod, you find yourself strutting down the street like you own it? Well now, you can basically become the coolest person on that street with these RZA headphones from WeSC - worth a cool £150! Your ears are going to feel like you’ve taken them out for a five course dinner.... True or False, if you turn up a Wu Tang album to full blast, your head has got a 24% better chance of exploding.

Pong. The best thing you can do with 3 Beer ping pong balls outside of Thailand. We’ll let you Google the other thing. Anyway, this is a great game involving throwing ping pong balls into cups and getting drunk. It sounds daft and it is, largely, but it’s also a great way to spend your evening. Especially if you have already resigned yourself to the fact that you aren’t getting your house deposit back and you don’t mind spilling beer on the carpet...The awesome people at have given us two pong packs to give away! Just tell us True or False, The world record for most ping pong balls t be fired from a person’s mouth is 180 in the space of a 30 seconds. (hint: it’s obviously false)

4 Hola, Amigos! So you’re a bigwig drinks company, and you’re thinking “hey, on the one hand everyone likes beer, and on the other hand everyone likes tequila - what should we do?”. Well put those hands together Mr Drinksman, because Amigos is an awesome beer with tequila in it. Chuck in a cheeky wedge of lime and you’ve got yourself a full on refreshing beverage, which wouldn’t go amiss at, say, a Mexican night in (see P26!). Anyway, we have two crates to give away, just tell us True or False, in Mexico the expression “Se acabó la cerveza” is roughly translated as “The beer is all gone” and is often followed by a sobbing noise.


Liverpool - Wireless Magazine - 2012 Freshers Edition  
Liverpool - Wireless Magazine - 2012 Freshers Edition  

Wireless Magazine - Freshers Issue, Merseyside Edition. Featuring exclusive interviews with Russell Howard, Ben Drew (Plan B), Dan Le Sac,...