Dunstable & District NCT Summer Newsletter 2014

Dunstable & District Branch Newsletter

2

Summer 2014 Letter from the Editor

4

New Members and Birth Announcements

5

Welcome to the Branch

6-7

Useful Numbers and Websites

8

Nearly New Sale

10-11

A Single Parent Family – My Story

12-14

Pregnancy and Birth Story

16-17

Baby Led Weaning - My Experiences

19-20

Events Planner

24-25

Your Baby, Your Body, Your Choice

29-30

Heidi’s Birth Story

33-35

Praise and Rewards

38

Bumps and Babies

40-41

What’s On in the Community

42-43

Post Holders

44

Volunteering Vacancies

45

© Copyright Dunstable and District NCT 2014 3

Letter from the Editor Welcome to the summer newsletter! As always the branch team have been working hard to organise events and activities for the next few months. Don’t miss our Nearly New Sale at Watling Lower School on 5th July, it’s a great place to pick up amazing bargains on high quality baby and children’s clothes, toys and equipment.

We are very excited to announce the launch of our new Bumps, Babies and Siblings group at Kensworth Village Hall (please check our Facebook page or email dunstable@nct.org.uk for dates). The first session was extremely well attended and it was great to meet so many of you. The group is for expectant parents and those with babies up to pre-walking age (and their siblings if they have any). We are also in the process of setting up a group at the Beehive Centre for parents with babies/children of pre-school age so watch this space!

If you’re interested in helping out with any of our new groups, or with the upcoming Nearly New Sale we would love to hear from you. The branch is run entirely by volunteers so we really need your help and involvement to keep these activities running.

Amy Ivins Deadline for the summer issue: 10th August 2014 Front cover photo: Oscar by Karen Burley Check out the NCT Shop for great deals on maternity and baby items. If you use our branch affiliate code BRNCT539 you will get a 5% discount on your order AND 5% commission will go to Dunstable & District branch. http://www.nctshopaffiliate.co.uk/204.html

Join our Facebook page to keep up to date on all of our local events and activities. www.facebook.com/dunstablenct

You can also follow us on Twitter: COPY DATE FOR SUMMER NEWSLETTER: 12th August 2013 @nctdunstable Email: dunstable@nct.org.uk Phone: 07876 351437 4

New Members Welcome to our new members who have joined since the last newsletter was issued. We look forward to meeting you at our social events.

Becky Holder & Robert Dunhill

Laura & Luke Tunstall

Krishna & Dhiren Chauhan

Jenna Richards & Carl Ryder

Lynette & Graham Carter

Katie Morgan

Danielle Gillett & Joe Reubin

Gemma & Daniel Cannon

Rebecca Betts & Michael Yorke

Mrs N & J Kennedy

Kerry & Russell Ealand

Maryam Jeiran & Zaid Jebar

Sharon Russell

Teresa & Paul Pritchard

If you would like to become a member of the NCT, please contact our Membership Secretary Claire Thomas on membership.dunstable@nct.org.uk or ring the membership hotline on 0844 243 7000 with your credit/debit card details.

Birth Announcements Caroline and Gary Fletcher – Moore

William George

13/02/14 7lb 2oz

Courtney and Wayne Phillips

Maddox Wayne

27/02/14 6lb 5oz

Kim Baldry and Steve Burrows

Olivia Beth

10/03/14

Faith and Geoff Sutton

Caitlin Rebecca

13/03/14 7lb 1oz

Natalie & Chris Malvaso-Alcock

Harrison

17/04/14 7lb 8oz

Louise and Matthew Wiles

Amelia Grace (Millie)

22/04/14 6lb 9oz

Kirsty and Neil Williams

Charlie

25/04/14 6lb 6oz

Kate and Bryan Padley

Frederick (Freddie) Sidney 5

06/05/2014 8lb 10oz

Welcome to the Dunstable & District Branch of the National Childbirth Trust Registered Charity Number: 801395

We aim to provide support, information and friendship, so that all parents have an experience of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood that enriches their lives and gives them confidence in being a parent.

Our branch telephone number will route your enquiry through to the appropriate volunteer. Please call 0844 243 6112 or email dunstable@nct.org.uk Activities are open to both members and non-members. Please do consider joining as membership enables all of the activities below to continue.

Fundraising We are always looking for new and exciting ideas in order to raise funds and reduce costs. If you are able to help in any way then please contact us.

Newsletter A quarterly newsletter is published and distributed to all members, libraries and doctors surgeries in the area. Articles on a variety of pregnancy or parenting topics are always welcomed. If you feel you would like to contribute in either the content or distribution, please either call the branch phone number or email dunstable@nct.org.uk Social Events We hold at least one social event a quarter ranging from dinner, pub quizzes, Ann Summers Parties and Chocoholics Evenings.

Bumps, Babies & Siblings Group A group for expectant parents and those with babies of pre-walking age (and their siblings if they have any). Held at Kensworth Village Hall.

6

Home Birth Support Group For those planning a homebirth or who would like to share their experiences of homebirth there is a friendly, informal discussion group that meets once a month.

Birth Again Group For parents who already have children and are expecting again, or for those who are anxious about the birth, perhaps due to having a caesarean or other intervention previously. This is an informal group that meets once a month where you are able to share your concerns in a safe and friendly environment.

Allergy Support Group This group provides the opportunity to talk to other parents who share the same concerns and worries about allergies. It is a place to swap recipe ideas, discuss your child’s on going treatment, as well as offering support to other families that are in a similar situation. Please note this is a support group for parents facilitated by parents with no medical qualifications.

Bra Fitting It can be difficult to find a bra that is both pretty and practical whilst pregnant or breast feeding. Janet and Kate from Mid Beds NCT cover the Dunstable and District area for bra fitting. Please call 0844 2436206 for more details.

Membership If you would like to become a member of the NCT, please talk to any member and ask for an application form or call the branch number 0844 243 6112. Alternatively you can join online at www.nct.org.uk/support-us/join Breast Pump Hire If your baby is in special care, you are returning to work or are separated from your baby for any reason, an electric pump may be invaluable to you. Contact Sally Thurbon on 0844 243 6112 for more information or email dunstable@nct.org.uk Nearly New Sales We normally have 2 to 3 sales a year, a great chance to buy good quality second hand goods at a reasonable price, and also sell things your baby or child has grown out of. Toys, books, maternity clothes and equipment, children’s and baby clothes.

Buggies, cots and other equipment. For more information contact us on 0844 243 6112 or nnsdunstable@yahoo.co.uk 7

NCT Useful Numbers and Websites The National Childbirth Trust wants all parents to have an experience of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood that enriches their lives and gives them confidence in being a parent. Donations to support our work are welcome.

Registered no. 2370573 (England).

Registered office: Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace, London W3 6NH. Registered charity no. 801395.

Telephone Numbers: NCT Main Helpline

0300 330 0700

Pregnancy & Birth Line

0300 330 0772

National NCT Enquiries Line

0300 330 0770

Breastfeeding Line

0300 330 0771

Postnatal Line

0300 330 0773

Shared Experiences Line

0300 330 0774

Dunstable & District Branch

0844 243 6112

Membership (join/renew)

0844 243 7000

NCT Shop

0845 8100 100

Websites: www.nct.org.uk/in-your-area/dunstable (Main website) www.nctshop.co.uk (NCT Shop) www.nct.org.uk/courses (NCT Course Bookings) www.facebook.com/pages/Dunstable-District-NCT/182848535182311 (Dunstable & District Branch Facebook Page) Twitter: @nctdunstable

Email: enquiries@nct.org.uk (National NCT) dunstable@nct.org.uk (Dunstable & District Branch) 8

9

10

Quick guide to the Nearly New Sale selling process 1)

Register your interest as a seller by emailing nnsdunstable@yahoo.co.uk

2)

A sellers pack and registration form will be emailed to you.

3)

Sign and return your registration form.

4)

Print and attach labels (which will be emailed to you) to all of your items. Labels have 2 sections, one side is cut off at the till so that we know what you have sold and the other side stays attached to the item.

5)

Write your seller number, a description of the item and the price on each label.

6)

Drop off your items at the sale hall in boxes labelled with your seller number.

7)

Volunteer to help out at the sale if you would like to be charged a lower commission or go home and put your feet up while we sell your items.

8)

After the sale your unsold items will be packed back into your box for you to collect.

9)

Labels from the items that you sold will be added up and you will be sent a cheque for the total, minus our commission.

Top Tips for Buyers 1)

Make a shopping list before you come to the sale.

2)

Bring your NCT Membership card and you will get in to the sale 15 mins early.

3)

Bring a friend to help you carry all your purchases.

4)

Buggies are not allowed in the hall so use a sling or baby carrier.

5)

Browse the larger items first as these are the most popular.

6)

If you can’t find what you’re looking for ask one of our volunteers.

7)

Don’t forget your credit card, we have a chip and pin machine.

One member said “I've estimated that 3/4 of my items sold which is brilliant! I bought a push along dog worth £50 for £4, a few little toys roughly worth around £30 for £2, a few clothes for 50p each and some shoes which sell for £28 in Clarke's for 50p! So my savings are around £100, and then add in my profit from the sale and I am one happy lady.”

11

A Single Parent Family – My Story

by Kimberley Hewer “Single Parent Family” – that is now Hayden’s, my 23 month old son, and my label. It’s the box I tick on forms, it’s that look of judgement in some people’s eyes when they overhear that I am a single mother. There is a stigma about single parents and especially single mothers as they are the majority. It’s a wide view that most single mums are irresponsible young women who have got “up the duff” to go up the list on the council housing register. I can say that having worked for the benefits office there is a small minority of these types, a very small minority, but there are other types of single mothers. I’m one of them. It’s just Hayden and me, but it wasn’t supposed to be this way...

I was married, not happily, but married none the less when I fell pregnant with my little man. My husband and I were told we couldn’t have children and finding out sausage related food poisoning wasn’t actually the cause of my terrible sickness was a huge surprise and shock to the system. I took it as a marvellous miracle but my husband took it as negative news. This was to be the beginning of the end of our little family.

When you are in a couple, it’s easy to take for granted that there is someone else there to share the transition from couple to family and all the learning curves, hard work and happy moments that come with it. Together you are responsible for nurturing and raising a human being (or several) which is a huge responsibility. Even though I was part of a couple, I found myself unsupported in everything pregnancy, birth and baby related. This was an even lonelier time for me than now; having to explain why my husband couldn’t make scans, taking along my sister to antenatal classes because he didn’t see the point in them and even being told by hubby that I’d be unsuccessful in my plans from having a natural birth to breastfeeding my baby. Even before Hayden was born I knew motherhood was going to be difficult and not what I had expected. However, a piece of me hoped that seeing the little man, holding him, might change my husband’s attitude and behaviour.

Hayden was born naturally and quite easily in October 2009. A healthy smurf coloured creature weighing 8lb 6oz with dark brown hair and big sticking out ears. Hayden was even nice enough to latch on and feed easily, so my hope to breastfeed had been realised too. He was everything I wished for and more. My husband seemed pretty happy with his offspring as well and I saw a smile on his face when he sat holding Hayden for the first time. Only the smile soon faded, from when my husband left me that early morning at the hospital to go home and “rest up” to his return a whole day and a half later with alcohol on his breath and an even stinkier attitude, I knew the smile probably wasn’t going to return.

The next few weeks were a living hell! I thought being pregnant with no support was a nightmare but having a newborn within an unhappy home was far worse. As I mentioned before, it’s quite easy to forget to appreciate your other half for all they do, or even 12

attempt to try and do. As a couple in the first few months of parenthood, you have another person to share these new and scary experiences with; the night feeds, the day feeds, the nappies, the weekend lie-ins, the panic of a screaming little darling and a hunt for the off switch – even just a hug and being told it’ll all be ok. A single parent doesn’t have another person to share the tough times nor the good times with. No one to share the first smile, the first poo explosion, the first time figuring out how to clear up the poo explosion when it’s outside the nappy and all the way up the babies back. No one to ask, “Do you think we’re doing this right?” Instead I had to figure it all out on my own but luckily most of the time Hayden told me what to do and showed me I was doing it right, with a big smile.

Most days Hayden and I were forced out the house, literally, so we needed to find places to go. When Hayden was three weeks old I attended my first Breast Feeding Support Group at a Sure Start Children’s Centre. I was terribly nervous at meeting other mothers and their babies, nervous about whether I was feeding Hayden right, nervous about whether I remembered to change from my slippers into my shoes before I left the house. Luckily I had come out reasonably well dressed and luckily for me I was greeted with happy smiley faces from both the Mums and their tots. Hayden, of course in his element of being the centre of attention, helped take the pressure of me by being the focus of the questions and any Hayden related questions I could easily answer. By the end of the session I felt relieved, supported and a little less lonely than I had when I first attended.

From this great experience and with the suggestions from the Mums I had met at the breast feeding group, I went to library sessions, coffee mornings and other local parents groups. There are so many out there! With this new support network, Hayden and I made many new friends, which in turn didn’t bode well for my relationship. Things went from bad to worse at home, but with a tiny baby, what could I do – I was financially dependent on my husband, tied into contracts including the biggest contract of all, marriage.

At 12 weeks old Hayden and I started the “Baby Talk” postnatal group, and it was here that I met the biggest support group in my life so far, my Best Friends. I won’t name names as they know who they are and I don’t want to give them big heads, but these lovely ladies saved mine and Hayden’s life. Without them I would hate to think where Hayden and I would be now. They lifted me up when I was down, they never questioned my obviously awkward situation (except for joking that my husband was actually the Talking Clock whilst being on the phone to him, having never seen or met him) but they were just there, they supported me no questions asked.

One of these newly found friends turned out to be more than a best friend, she is my confidant, my guardian angel, a force to be reckoned with; a strong minded, kind and dependable young lady with a bloody good sense of humour. She encouraged me to make a choice for both Hayden and myself. This was the turning point and I thank her every day for holding my hand, willing me forward and going though it all beside me.

In February 2010, with Hayden only 4 months, I left my husband. It was the most difficult 13

thing I have ever had to do, however, it’s the best decision I have ever made. With the support of my family, health visitors, support groups and my fabulous friends I rebuilt my life, little bit by little bit.

It’s starting from scratch that is the most difficult thing after initially leaving. With finances, setting up a home and balancing your work, social and home life. The first piece of advice I can give anyone is find out your rights as a single parent when it comes to child maintenance and access. The first place for anyone to go is the Citizens Advice Bureau who can sit down with you and give the contact names and numbers to get you going in the right direction. There are so many organisations that you have to contact for one thing or another, that it’s good if someone can sit down with you, go through them all explaining the hows and the whys.

I particularly found my health visitor a great source of support, advice and information as when it comes down to putting your little ones first, they are there to help you as a parent and part of that may be coping with this transition from family unit to single parent. The Council’s One Stop Shop, Jobcentre and a Family Solicitors are also places I have had to use when it comes to finances including benefits and would recommend seeking their guidance.

I also attended The Freedom Programme “Survive”. It wasn’t your normal support group, it focussed on providing women with facts and information which in turn increases their knowledge and understanding about their circumstances and gives them back a sense of control. It sounds silly, but until I went to this educational group I didn’t realise the seriousness of the situation I had come from and how strong I was to have left. Finally building up your own social support network is a must do – where would we all be without our friends and family?!

This kind of support is how I have managed so well. Being a single parent means you can’t have lie ins, no nights out etc, as there is no partner to share childcare. So with the help of family and friends, and you may have ask for help, get some well deserved time off even if it’s to sleep rather than go out raving. I have worked out with my parents that Hayden will stay over one night a month. They love it because they get to spoil him rotten and I get to let my hair down and relax without having to worry about getting up in the night or even get up early in the morning. We all need a break and getting this kind of support is a must for one’s sanity.

It’s been a hard slog and a deep learning curve, heart breaking and spirit lifting, but it’s been worth it. It’s taken several months but Hayden and I now live in a wonderful home, our home. We are safe, happy and healthy. It’s just him and me; we are a Single Parent Family.

And thank goodness we are!

Citizens Advice: http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ Gingerbread - A UK charity providing expert advice, practical support and campaigns for single parents: http://www.gingerbread.org.uk/ 14

Shenda Tofts - 01582 703037 dunstable@nct.org.uk

15

Pregnancy and Birth Story

by Sheena Haward Hi, my name is Sheena Haward, I now live in Dunstable and here is my pregnancy and birth story.

I found out I was pregnant in October 2011, I was really excited and scared at the same time as this was my first child. I wasn’t looking forward to all the blood tests but who does.

Unfortunately pregnancy wasn’t a great time for me, I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (morning sickness) and symphysis pubic dysfunction (SPD) throughout. I had a midwife check up every 2 weeks at my normal doctors and at every check up I was sent to hospital with high blood pressure and urine infections. After 2 hours of being on a monitor each time I was sent home. All the midwifes were amazing and very caring.

At 30 weeks I had a growth scan and found out the baby was back to back and breech but more importantly it was a girl! We then did the most stupid thing and move, not only to a new house but also to a new area at 36 weeks pregnant (would not recommend doing this). I had to re-register with a new midwife straight away at Milton Keynes hospital and like always got admitted to hospital straight away.

However this time was different, I had to stay in with pre-eclampsia, which was really scary. I had to take medicine every 4 hours and have my blood pressure monitored every few hours - even during the night - which wasn't much fun!

I was induced and 2 days later had my waters broken, that's when things really started to move quickly and out the window went the idea of no pain relief. I tried gas and air (so did my husband) for a couple of hours then decided enough was enough and had an epidural.

The epidural really helped and I managed to get a few hours sleep.

When I had another check at around 6.20am I was told I was 9cm dilated and ready to push, they just wanted a doctor to check. When the doctor arrived we were told that she was still back to back and breech, so we would 16

need to do a caesarean section straight away.

Everything then happened so fast, my husband was put in "lovely" blue scrubs and we were taken to theatre.

At 7.21am 21st June 2012 my daughter Sophie was born weighing a healthy 7lb1oz.

So not the best pregnancy/labour in the world but with such great care at all the hospitals I went to it all worked out well in the end.

Sophie is now coming up to her 2nd birthday and we have moved again to Dunstable, (not pregnant this time so could help). And after all that I'm still not put off having another one.

17

18

Baby Led Weaning - My Experiences

by Sam Addington When my first son William was ready for weaning I followed all the advice and expressed breast milk to make baby rice, pureed every vegetable in sight and filled the freezer with umpteen ice cube trays of gloop! Even though it didn’t seem it at the time, I had lots of uninterrupted time to sit and feed him, something I didn’t have second time round.

I was aware of the principles of baby led weaning and luckily when my second son Joseph was around 4 months there seemed to be lots of press coverage of the issues surrounding it. The basic principles are that baby is in control of what and how much they eat. They are provided with a variety of different foods to pick up and try at their own pace.

It appealed to me as I have always tried to look at the most natural way to do things – what did people do before they had a Mothercare catalogue to tell them all the things they needed?! What do people without blenders / plastic bowls and spoons / microwaves / freezers do when starting to wean their babies? It is also supposed to be a natural follow on from breastfeeding on demand, where baby is effectively in control of how much and when they eat. (See websites below for information on formula fed babies).

So to start….! It is recommended that baby led weaning isn’t started until 6 months and the baby can sit up. We were due to be on holiday when Joseph reached 6 months and I was dreading taking the steriliser to express milk for baby rice and blender for pureeing etc., so I started to try and feed him baby rice when he was about 5 months. I then remembered how much I hated expressing milk! And he wasn’t interested in eating it.

Looking back I should have just waited as he wasn’t ready for solids. I took some jars of food away with us as I wondered whether a combined approach of spoon and self feeding could work. He wasn’t interested in eating much of either, which I think is pretty typical. I thought jars would be easier when out, but he wasn’t used to sitting up and eating so that didn’t really work either.

So I decided to give the baby led weaning a proper go. When eating ‘at home’, Joseph sat in a high chair when we were eating and we gave him a variety of foods to try – breadsticks, bread, whole banana, cheese, cooked carrot sticks. The food needs to be big enough for the baby to grab and eat – it needs ‘a handle’, so contrary to what you instinctively think, food has to be bigger rather than smaller! Not a lot went in, but I think the same happens with purees. He was really enjoying touching and experimenting with the food. I did feel a bit guilty about the amount food wasted, especially when staying with other people and eating their food. Once a banana has been played with by a 6 month old baby it isn’t really suitable for eating by someone else!

19

We were staying with each set of grandparents on consecutive weeks and luckily both grandmas had read about baby led weaning, and were very supportive of our approach. It became quite a competition to see who could think of the next food to try, with Granddad A winning the prize for suggesting cucumber which is still one of Joe’s favourites! He obviously takes his Geordie roots seriously and loved ‘Stotties’!

He was still filling up on breast milk and not really taking much from the solids. I did have my doubts for a while but I don’t think it was much different from when first feeding with purees. I think it’s one of those things that just suddenly clicked and we realised he was actually eating the food and not just throwing it around.

Joseph is now 9 months and sits in his highchair when the family eats and works his way though a variety of foods, sometimes the same as everyone else, sometimes different as we tend to eat sloppy foods such as pasta and sauce, curry, chilli etc. On a typical day he will eat a banana and then toast and butter for breakfast. For lunch he will have philedelphia on bread or toast, a stick of cheese, cucumber sticks, tomato (cut in half). He also loves eggy bread! For evening meal he likes potatoes (roasted), courgettes, cauliflower, broccoli, carrots. I found some big pasta for him to grab hold of and I have made fishcakes, pizza and carrot pancakes which he enjoys. I don’t eat meat, so he hasn’t had much but he has chewed on some chicken. He eats pears and gnaws at apple pieces. His first snacks were Organgix rusks and breadsticks - he can now manage smaller rice cakes.

I do struggle sometimes to think of things to cook for him or how to adapt our meals but it is quite exciting to come up with new ideas.

I would say that the main difficulties have been: what to feed him when out and about – it is easier and less messy to spoon puree in to a baby in a pushchair; the mess – we have a plastic sheet which catches most of the food that flies around; the variety of foods – although William had every vegetable available as a baby and now is a typical 3 year old and rarely touches a vegetable. In my opinion these are far outweighed by the positives. It takes less time – no pureeing, freezing, defrosting, feeding. Baby can eat with the family and is in control of how much and what he eats – maybe Joseph will learn to stop eating when he is full, something I never quite managed!

The next stage is to teach him to eat with a spoon. I have started to put yoghurt on a spoon for him to try. He plays with the spoon and some of the yoghurt actually goes in his mouth!

Joseph has just had his eight month check with the Health Visitor and had put on plenty of weight. The Health Visitor hadn’t known anyone else to try this approach but was very interested and seemed to think it was a good idea. Baby led weaning really worked for us!

20

21

22

23

June 3rd 10am-12

13th 1.303.30pm

17th 10am-12

26th 8pm

TBC

Bumps, Babies & Siblings

For expectant parents and those with pre-walkers (& Kensworth Village Hall their siblings).

0844 243 6112 dunstable@nct.org.uk

Bumps & Babies Shenda’s House LU6 3LD (contact us for full address)

0844 243 6112 dunstable@nct.org.uk

For expectant parents and those with pre-walkers. ((No older children at this session please).

Bumps, Babies & Siblings

For expectant parents and those with pre-walkers (& Kensworth Village Hall their siblings).

0844 243 6112 dunstable@nct.org.uk

Goody Bag Packing Meeting for Nearly New Sale Karen’s House 42 Allen Close Dunstable, LU5 4DG

Come and help us pack fliers 0844 243 6112 and freebies in to the goody dunstable@nct.org.uk bags for the July Nearly New Sale.

Homebirth Group

Contact Angela for confirmation of date, time and venue.

24

07957 628144 angelahoward@ ntlworld.com

July 5th

Nearly New Sale Watling Lower School Bull Pond Lane, Dunstable,

Free parking on Bullpond Ln. 0844 243 6112 nnsdunstable@yahoo.co.uk Admission £1 per adult (in

Bumps & Babies Shenda’s House LU6 3LD (contact us for full address)

For expectant parents and those with pre-walkers.

11.15am – 12.30pm (11.00am for NCT LU6 3BJ members)

11th 1.303.30pm

aid of NCT Charity).

Buggies & pushchairs will not be allowed in the sales room.

0844 243 6112 dunstable@nct.org.uk

(No older children at this session please).

TBC

Bumps, Babies & Siblings

For expectant parents and those with pre-walkers (& Kensworth Village Hall their siblings).

0844 243 6112 dunstable@nct.org.uk

TBC

Homebirth Group

07957 628144 angelahoward@ ntlworld.com

Contact Angela for confirmation of date, time and venue.

August TBC

Bumps, Babies & Siblings

For expectant parents and those with pre-walkers (& Kensworth Village Hall their siblings).

0844 243 6112 dunstable@nct.org.uk

TBC

Homebirth Group

07957 628144 angelahoward@ ntlworld.com

Contact Angela for confirmation of date, time and venue.

Please email us or check our Facebook event page for updates on dates, times and venues: dunstable@nct.org.uk www.facebook.com/dunstablenct/events 25

Birth Again Group

Allergy Support Group

The Birth Again Group meets every month, currently at Catherine’s house.

Does your child have food allergies? Are they on a restrictive diet? Are you concerned about how a (pre)school will be able to cope with their individual needs?

As with all we do, it is open to all parents, whether NCT members or not. So please tell your friends and family.

Come and talk to other parents who are experiencing similar challenges.

This is a support group for parents facilitated by parents. I have no medical knowledge, only the experiences I have gained from going through exclusion diets with our son and trying to find out what he's allergic to. I can help source foods and give general advice and support.

Anyone willing to share their experience of having another child will also be very welcome.

Don’t forget – your membership supports groups like this, so keep renewing!

For further information and details of meetings, please contact Laura:

For more information please contact Catherine Williams on 01525 636313 or email: catherine.williams1@virgin.net

07725 806866 laurahart27@hotmail.com 26

27

28

Why you DON’T “have to”!

Your Baby, Your Body, Your Choice

by Emma Ashworth Volunteer breastfeeding counsellor and birth doula How often do we hear women saying, “I had to” when discussing their pregnancies and births? “I had to be induced” is perhaps the most common one, but what about those less talked about things, things that perhaps we don’t even think about until we’ve actually had a baby. Vaginal exams (eg to check dilation). Monitoring of the baby, with straps around our belly which mean we can’t move. Being told to lie on our back. Being told when to push. How many of these things are optional – offered to us as choices we can accept or reject? ALL of them. Every single one. And how about, “I wasn’t allowed”? What other area in our life would we accept being told that “I wasn’t allowed to be at home”, or “I wasn’t allowed to go into the bath/pool”.

You DON’T have to, and you ARE allowed!

But how can we work out which interventions have value to us, and which don’t?

Understanding in advance what may be offered is a great start (and no matter how it’s worded to you, it’s always an offer and you can ALWAYS decline the offer).

Attending NCT antenatal classes is really helpful but ask questions, read, go to your local Positive Birth group or homebirth group (even if you’re not planning a homebirth), or birth choices group if there is one. Consider a doula.

Common interventions to consider before labour include vaginal examinations (VEs) (which absolutely do not have to happen unless you want them to!), foetal monitoring, especially continuous monitoring and positions for labour and birth (you don’t need to be on the bed, and you certainly don’t need to be on your back, unless you want to be). Key things to consider are, “what value has this intervention for me”.

So for instance, looking at VEs, there’s no way that your cervical dilation will tell you how much longer your labour will be, because cervical dilation is not linear. You could go from 3cm to 10cm in ten minutes, ten hours or 4 weeks. Some women really want to know how they are “progressing” and in this case you may decide that a VE is a positive thing for you. But consider what you’ll feel if your dilation isn’t as much as you’d hoped, given that it doesn’t actually mean much anyway! Provided that there is some progression, given plenty of time, while mum is managing ok, and baby seems well, what’s the problem? VEs can also be useful for checking on the position of your 29

baby if there is good reason to feel that his or her position isn’t optimal. However, again, what will you do with that information?

Changing position by listening to what your body is saying to do can help a baby to move into a better position, and you don’t need to know where you baby is to do this if you are able to just move freely as you want to. Not On Your Back – unless your body clearly tells you that’s where you feel best!

At no other time in our lives would we accept that someone else has autonomy over our body. When we are giving birth, nothing changes. It is STILL our own body, still our own choice what happens to it and our own choice about what interventions, if any, are right for us.

Birth may not always be how we want it to be. We are incredibly lucky to live in a time and place where we have the ability to choose to accept obstetric interventions when needed. But don’t ever forget – we always have the right to choose or decline what is offered to us in birth. That is the part of our birth plans which can never be taken away from us. ”If I don’t know my options, I don’t have any.” ~ Diana Korte

Further reading on vaginal examinations: http://aims.org.uk/Journal/Vol22No1/VEsDiagnostic.htm http://www.biomedcentral.com/1471-2393/10/54 http://publications.nice.org.uk/intrapartum-care-cg55/guidance#normal-labourfirst-stage – NICE guidelines – note that VEs are always OFFERED! For more help and support: NCT Helpline: 0300 330 0700 (nct.org.uk) AIMS (Association for Improvements in the Maternity Services) Helpline: 0300 365 0663, or helpline@aims.org.uk (aims.org.uk) Birthrights: info@birthrights.org.uk (birthrights.org.uk) 30

31

32

Heidi’s Birth Story

by Claire Thomas Nearly four months in with our second daughter and we are starting to feel more human again! Darcie our first, was born two and a half years earlier. Falling pregnant again, we were over the moon, however, my husband Bryn and I weren’t sure how we could ever love a second baby as much as our first born. We needn't have worried.. our love just blossomed over the days, weeks and months of my ever growing baby bump.

I compared much of my second pregnancy to my first which was only natural. Both were very similar, however I felt bigger almost immediately and struggled to keep my expanding tummy under wraps from nosey work colleagues in those early weeks.

Luckily again I escaped morning sickness although I always felt tired. Running around after our then under two year old and also holding down my full time job was exhausting. I would put Darcie to bed at 7pm and my husband would find me already asleep on our bed.

Everything this time was more relaxed. We didn't need to buy many new items. We decided not to find out the sex like with Darcie. Our nursery was neutral anyway. I did find time flew as I didn't have as much time to get lost in my own thoughts of a new baby arrival. I worked up until 3 weeks before the birth and had a lovely send off from work... this time a full year planned of maternity! I previously had six months.

Everyone kept saying second babies come quicker but I just kept brushing those comments off. I tried to stay active by walking and swimming when I could. I gave up my weekly jogs to lessen impact on my softening joints.

Baby number 2 was due on 29th December 2013. We ensured we were mega organised for Christmas with cards, presents and decorations up. We kept talking about the new baby to Darcie to try prepare her for her new sibling. I felt anxious that care for Darcie was all organised for when baby decided to appear. Cue Nanny and Grandad Thomas who live not far at all from us.

Once on maternity leave I kept up my walking and swimming. I had a good two weeks of cleaning the house, sorting out any last Christmas bits and spending time with Darcie before our family of three turned into four.

My parents arrived on Friday 20th December from Kent on their travels to Liverpool to spend Christmas with my brother and his young family. We had originally planned to go too, but once we knew our due date we had to reconsider. We joked how funny if I gave birth the weekend they came up. We didn't actually think that would be the case.

33

That night Darcie was so poorly. Being sick every few hours. She came into bed with us after waking up during the night with being sick again. It was a tough night. At about 5am I awoke with period pains. I was so tired. I poked hubby and said I think labour day is here.

We both fell back asleep until 8am. By then the pains were every 10 minutes. We all got up and joined my parents downstairs for breakfast. Bryn had pre-warned my parents I was having pains but business as usual. I gathered up washing and put a load on. I had all these raspberries defrosting on the side that I had planned to make jam with, needless to say it didn’t get done.

I ate porridge in between rocking from side to side. By 9am my parents were unsure about whether to stay with us or carry on to Liverpool. I assured them they needed to go as they had plans with my brother. By this time I was bouncing on the ball, now with erratic contractions so I wasn't too worried but they were getting stronger. As soon as they left I got into the bath. Darcie joined me!

Bryn called his parents to come collect Darcie. I was trying to grin through the pain. Darcie was having fun drawing on me with bath crayons none the wiser. Bryn ordered me out of the bath as soon as Darcie was collected by his parents and said "right we need to get to the hospital." My parents called to say they had forgotten some Christmas presents and they came driving back from around Milton Keynes. I think Bryn just threw the presents out the door and off they went again.

My brother called for a "chat", my mind wasn't really in the zone. I am in labour...The contractions were every 3-4 minutes now. I was practically swinging on our chest of drawers with deep breathing, cursing that I didn't remember how strong these could be. At one point I ran to the bath and was sick. They literally took my breath away. We called the hospital to alert them. The car ride was interesting. All I wanted was to be hanging off the back of car seat, not strapped in facing forward.

The hospital is only 10 minutes away, however the journey felt like a life time. We pulled up right out front and I staggered to the entrance. Thank goodness it was a Saturday, no-one was around. A student midwife introduced herself and I could have cried with relief to be there. The contractions were still coming thick and fast. All the checks were a real mission for the midwives as I was so wriggly. Finally I got some gas and air however I just remember shouting “I need to push”. A feeling I never really had with Darcie, all the same a natural delivery with her but this I knew now was the urge and I couldn't stop it.

We had been in the room for 15 minutes. Bewildered, I was checked and I heard "The head is crowning!" A couple of 34

pushes and our baby's head was born, still in the sack. 11:32am 15 minutes after arriving. I was holding our new baby daughter, Heidi Mabel Thomas, weighing 5lbs 10oz. Very little but very perfect.

We sat, over-whelmed for ages staring at Heidi then at each other.. .just at how fast events had proceeded. My parents had pulled over at Birmingham services. They couldn't believe it. I think I had played down my contractions without even realising it.

I had the best jacket and beans ever and we were able to leave at 6pm to go home. We had to stop at Tescos on the way home to pick up smaller nappies!

Darcie met her new sister the next day. It was lovely her peering into the moses basket.

I unloaded the washing from the previous day to find a nappy all shredded and gloopy that had been wrapped up within our duvet. Aarrrggghhh Heidi is now 11lbs 6oz and such a lovely bundle. Darcie loves having a little sister to dote on.

Darcie will be three in August.

35

36

Studham C of E Village School

Offering high quality care, education and play for children from age 2 to 9 yrs.

Acorn class (our Pre-school) runs in line with the school academic year and is open as follows; Monday , Tuesday & Thursday - 9am to 3pm Wednesday & Friday - 9am to 1pm (Children are able to bring a packed lunch or purchase a hot meal from the school.)

If you would like more information please browse our website;

Studhamschools.org.uk please feel free to contact the school office, by; Telephone on: 01582 872337 or e.mail to: Studham@cbc.beds.sch.uk and arrange a meeting with Mr Burrett, our Head Teacher and view the school, we would be delighted to meet you.

We offer the opportunity for you to take your funded hours flexibly and allow you to ‘top up’ with paid hours if you wish.

37

Praise and Rewards

by Joanne Thorley Praise  



     

Praising is not going to spoil a child. But ensure it is genuine and proportionate – kids are great at spotting a fake!

Children who are frequently misbehaving need more frequent praise, not less.

Try to catch them doing something right and point it out, rather than focussing on the bad behaviour and giving that the attention.

Praise your child when he or she is making a good attempt at the right behaviour, don’t wait for 100% perfect behaviour. If you praise the steps towards the goal, they often may feel it’s more achievable.

Tell your child very clearly why you are praising – what they have done.

Vary the words you use.

Praise should only follow good behaviour and you should give praise as soon as possible after good behaviour, especially with younger children.

Be enthusiastic and give the child eye contact when you praise if possible.

When praising a young child, give cuddles, pats and kisses as well.

Occasionally praise children in front of other adults and other children.

Rewards  

Try to notice any good behaviours, even small ones.

Choose small rewards and give rewards often, normally immediately following good behaviour.



Use a mixture of incentive rewards (“if you do this you will get this”) and surprise rewards (“you did x so well, I thought you’d like this”). Unexpected rewards are very effective at reinforcing good behaviour.



Sometimes enlist your child to help you choose the rewards.

Give rewards only after the desired behaviour has been achieved.

Reward ordinary, everyday achievements.

Explain clearly why the rewards are being given – what they have done.

Have a variety of different rewards on offer – these should not all be ‘things’ – activities, privileges and choices are just as important.

Let your child know that you have confidence he or she will behave well enough to achieve the rewards.

    

38

39

40

Bumps and Babies - Your Experiences Going to a group for the first time was a bit daunting but I needn’t have worried as everyone was so friendly and welcoming. I think the fact that we all have something in common (mainly babies, sleepless nights and endless teething) made it really easy to talk to the other mums and make friends.

Catherine Bowen My 3 closest mummy friends were made at Bumps and Babies groups, two who were in the antenatal class before mine and one from the group after mine. Strangely we bonded better than my actual antenatal class did! When our babies got too old for the group we continued to see each other regularly and went to playgroups and the park together. It has meant that my daughter has friends her own age and I have friends who are going through the same things I am.

Helen Gibbs I was quite nervous about going to Bumps and Babies for the first time, but was keen to make local friends as we’d just moved to the area. I’m so glad I made myself go because four years on I’m still friends with several of the mums I met there. One of the main benefits of the group is that you get to meet people who are a few weeks or months ahead of you and can sympathise and advise you on any problems you’re having, and more importantly make you feel like you’re not the only one in that situation. I wish I’d started going when I was on maternity leave.

Amy Ivins I went to my first Bumps and Babies group when I was pregnant with my first son. Talking to the other mums put my mind at rest about a lot of the things that I was unsure about as they’d all been through it. I met another lady who was due 2 weeks after me and our babies ended up being born a day apart! We continued to see each other at the group and started having our own meet-ups and going to baby classes together as our boys got older.

Laura Woodward Bumps Babies & Siblings, Kensworth Village Hall, Common Road, Kensworth 

3rd June 10am—12pm



17th June 10am-12pm

Bumps & Babies, Shenda’s House, LU6 3LD (please contact us for full address) 

13th June 1.30-3.30pm



11th July 1.30-3.30pm

41

What’s on in the Community…..

These activities are not organised by NCT. Details are correct at the time of printing.

Event

Day and time

Details

Contact

Baby & Toddler Groups Methodist Church Toddler Group Methodist Church, The Square, Dunstable

Mon 10am-11.30am Weds 13.30-3pm Term time only

Ages 0-3 Refreshments included

Mrs A Jenkins 01582 476229

Toddlers! The Way, West Street Christian Centre

Mon & Thurs 9.30-11am Term time only

£1 suggested donation

01582 661621

Parents, Carers & Tots

Mon & Wed

01582 477762

4 Tavistock Place, Tavistock Street

9.45-11.45am All year

£2.50 per child £1 for siblings

Toddler Group Dunstable Baptist Church, St Mary's Gate, Dunstable

Tues 9.15am-11am Term time only

Birth to school age 70p Inc drinks/snack

01582 511371 andyruth.banton @ntlworld.com

Totternhoe Baby & Toddler Group St Giles Church Hall, St Giles Close, Totternhoe

Tues 9.30-11.30am Term time only

£1 per adult, £1 first child, 50p further children, under 1's free Refreshments included

Nadine Morgan 07823 447362

Toddington Baby & Toddler Group

Tues 9.30am-11am & £2 per family Thurs 1.30pm-3pm Refreshments included Term time only

maxinewhiting@ yahoo.co.uk

Parents & Tots Dunstable Community Centre 69 High Street North, Dunstable

Tues 10am-12pm Term time only

Ages 0-5

01582 477147

Cheeky Monkeys Baby & Toddler Group

Weds 1pm-2.45pm Term time only

Birth to 5 £1 adult, £1 over 1, under 1 free Refreshments included

Cheekymonkeys eaton bray@hotmail. co.uk

Kensworth Baby and Toddler Group Kensworth Village Hall, Common Road, Kensworth

Weds 9.30am11.30am Term time only

First visit free, £1 for under 1’s, £1.50 for over 1's, £2 for two children

01442 842957

Little Lambs Group Chilterns Gateway Centre, Dunstable Downs

Thurs 10am-12pm Term time only

Toddler activities Ring for more details

01582 500920

Toddington Community Café Toddington Baptist Church

1st Thurs of month 9.15am - 11.30am

Toys for children, buggy parking space.

Colette Young c.young121@btin ternet.com

Toddington Community Café Wilkinson Hall, beside St George’s Church

3rd Thurs of month 9.15am - 11.30am

Toddington Village Hall, Leighton Road, Toddington

Village Hall, Church Lane, Eaton Bray www.cheekymonkeys.btik.com/

42

As above

Tiny Twisters Kensworth Village Hall

Thursday 2pm2.40pm Term time only

£1 per child.

07447 082107 07764 489630

St Mary’s Little Tots Marion Hall behind St Mary’s Church, 82 West Street, Dunstable

Friday 10-11.30am Term time only

New born to 3 years Donation of 50p/£1

01582 662384

Dunstable Icknield Mums & Tots Dunstable Icknield Lower School, Burr Street, Dunstable

Fri 9:15am-11:00am Term time only

Birth to school age £1 includes refreshments

01582 663709

Creasey Park Toddler Group

Friday 9.30-11am Term time only

Ages 0-4

hayley066

£2 including refreshments

@btinternet.com

No need to book, come along and join the fun.

Library Activities Dunstable Library Rhyme Time

Tuesday 10.45 - 11.15 For ages 5 and under

0300 3008056

Dunstable Library

Wednesday 10:45am - 11.30am Term time only. For ages 5 and under

0300 3008056

Wednesday 10.00-10.30am Term time only

0300 3008058

Friday 9.30-10.15 and 1.30-2.15 Term time only

0300 3008058

Toddington Library Crafty Tots

Friday 2.30-3.00 Term time only

0300 3008069

Toddington Library

Saturday 14th June 0300 3008069 10.30 - 11.30 Come along and make something special for Father's Day.

Activity Time Houghton Regis Library Rhyme Time

Houghton Regis Library Kraftee Kidz

Father's Day Crafts

Children’s Centres Beehive Children’s Centre, Beecroft Lower School, Westfield Road, Dunstable

Tel: 01582 699092

Parkside Neighbourhood Centre, Parkside Drive, Houghton Regis

Tel: 01582 758023

Tithe Farm Neighbourhood Centre, Tithe Farm Road, Houghton Regis

Tel: 01582 867692

Downside Neighbourhood Centre, Oakwood Avenue, Dunstable LU5 4AS

Tel: 01582 666403

43

Post Holders Joint Branch Coordinator

Amy Ivins

dunstable@nct.org.uk

07876351437

Joint Branch Coordinator

Angela Coyle

angelacoyle04@gmail.com

0844 243 6112

Secretary

Sally Thurbon

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Treasurer

Angela Coyle

angelacoyle04@gmail.com

0844 243 6112

Deputy Treasurer

Karen Burley

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Membership Secretary

Claire Thomas

PSA Link

Angela Howard

angelahoward@ntlworld.com

01582865751

Parent Support Coordinator

Laura Hart

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Laura Hart

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Laura Richards

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Amy Ivins

dunstable@nct.org.uk

07876351437

Nearly New Sale Coordinator Sally Thurbon

sallythurbon@yahoo.co.uk

0844 243 6112

Advertising Coordinator

Amy Ivins

dunstable@nct.org.uk

07876351437

Press & Publicity Officer

Emma Ponsonby

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Grants & Fundraising Coordinator

Emma Ponsonby

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Antenatal Teacher

Shenda Tofts

dunstable@nct.org.uk

01582703037

Homebirth Support

Angela Howard

angelahoward@ntlworld.com

01582865751

Birth Again Support Group

Catherine Williams catherine.williams1@virgin.net

01582290955

Breast Pump Agent

Sally Thurbon

sallythurbon@yahoo.co.uk

0844 243 6112

Valley Cushion Agent

Shenda Tofts

dunstable@nct.org.uk

01582703037

Webmaster

VACANT

dunstable@nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

membership.dunstable@ nct.org.uk

0844 243 6112

Antenatal Class Supporters

Newsletter Editor

44

Your Branch Needs You! Current Volunteering Vacancies Dunstable & District branch are always looking for enthusiastic volunteers willing to give a few hours of their time to help the branch run smoothly.

There's a wide range of tasks so there's bound to be something that you'll enjoy that will use your skills and experience.

Webmaster Work closely with the branch team to keep the branch web page up to date.

Nearly New Sale Team Helping your branch to organise NCT Nearly New Sales not only provides a valuable service to local parents and parents-to-be. You also raise essential funds for NCT, supporting hundreds of parents locally and helping the charity as a whole to support over a million parents every year.

We currently need more people to help out with the organisational/administrative side of things, as well as people to help out on the day of the sale. Nearly New Sale volunteers get the first pick of the bargains before the sale opens.

Helpers for Bumps, Babies & Siblings Group We need a few people to arrive at the group 15-20 mins early to help with setting up toys, making tea and coffee and tidying up at the end of each session.

Coffee Group Hosts We aren’t currently able to run any coffee groups due to a lack of volunteers. If you could host a coffee group in your home, please get in touch. Just let us know the date, time and number of people you can fit in and we will advertise it for you.

A full role description for any of these opportunities is available from: dunstable@nct.org.uk

NCT members who volunteer 12+ hours per year (with their role recorded with Head Office), will automatically receive a discount on their membership.

45

About the NCT The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) offers support in pregnancy, childbirth and early parenthood.

We aim to give every parent the chance to make informed choices. We try to make sure that all our services, activities and membership are fully accessible to everyone. Run by parents for parents the NCT is the largest and best-known childbirth and parenting charity in Europe. It is the voice of parents on antenatal, birth and postnatal issues, and provides a range of quality educational and support services for parents at a local level.

The NCT provides a range of services including antenatal classes, postnatal discussion groups, breastfeeding counselling and a network of over 350 local branches for parents.

The NCT is a Registered Charity (Registration Number 801395) and a membership organisation with over 50,000 members across the UK. All services are available to members and non members alike. The NCT encourages parents to become members, as it is the membership fee that funds services.

Our Vision Our vision is a world where parents are valued and supported to build a strong society, believing that a child’s early years significantly impact upon the future they help to shape.

About This Newsletter The information in this newsletter is for the benefit of NCT (National Childbirth Trust) members and beneficiaries. It may be used only in connection with NCT activities and may not be used for any commercial purposes. The views and opinions expressed in this newsletter are not necessarily those of NCT. The information contained in this newsletter should not be reproduced without the editor's consent in writing. All articles and other material appearing in this newsletter are copyright © NCT, Alexandra House, Oldham Terrace, London, W3 6NH The appearance of an advertisement in this newsletter does not imply endorsement of the company or its products by NCT, nor does it constitute a recommendation. However, it is always worth mentioning when replying to an advertisement that you saw it in an NCT newsletter. NCT cannot be held liable for loss, damage or injury arising out of goods sold through any advertisements in this newsletter. Any discount offered to NCT members by any advertisement is done so entirely at the discretion of the advertiser. NCT will not compensate any member who is refused a discount from a third party.

Advertising Rates (exclusive of VAT) Full page black and white £25 Full page colour £30 Half Page black and white £18 Half page colour £23 Quarter page black and white £12 Back cover colour £50 Full page colour inside front/back cover £40 Flyer insert £25 (no VAT) Nearly New Sale Goody Bag Flyers £10 for 150 flyers (no VAT) To advertise in this newsletter please contact: dunstable@nct.org.uk 46

47

48