Amsterdam Weekly: Vol 3 Issue 50, 21 December 2006-3 January 2007

Volume 3, Issue 50

TWO-WEEK ISSUE 21 DECEMBER 2006 TO 3 JANUARY 2007

FREE EVERY WEDNESDAY

JOB WOUTERS EN YVO SPREY LET

Inside: Music, Film, Art and Events

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

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EUROPEAN NEWSPAPER AWARD 2006 WINNERS Contents: On the cover Happy New Year! Illustration

by Job Wouters and Yvo Sprey.

Features Red lights out . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Bolstraat braaderij . . . . . . . 4 Jango Edwards . . . . . . . . . . 5 Worst A-Z . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Best A-Z . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 50 covers, 50 quotes. . . . . . 8

Going out Short List . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Party round-up . . . . . . . . . 13 Night Top 10. . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Sleazy Top 10 . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 Clubs. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Gay & Lesbian . . . . . . . . . . 21 Stage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Art. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Pimp your Rembrandt . . . 23 Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Addresses . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27 Sound and vision . . . . . . . 29 Film Times. . . . . . . . . . . . . 31

Plus The Glutton . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Classifieds . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 Life in Hell . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 Eefje Wentelteefje . . . . . . 35

Amsterdam Weekly is a free cultural paper distributed every Wednesday in Amsterdam. Paid subscriptions are available on request. For details, write to info@amsterdamweekly.nl. Contents of Amsterdam Weekly are copyright 2006 Amsterdam Weekly BV. All rights reserved.

Winner of 3 European Newspaper Awards Amsterdam Weekly BV De Ruyterkade 106, 1011 AB Amsterdam Tel: 020 522 5200 Fax: 020 620 1666 www.amsterdamweekly.nl General info: info@amsterdamweekly.nl Agenda listings: agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl Advertising: sales@amsterdamweekly.nl PUBLISHER Todd Savage EDITOR Steve Korver ASSISTANT EDITOR Kim Renfrew AGENDA EDITOR Steven McCarron FILM EDITOR Julie Phillips PROOFREADER Mark Wedin EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Sarah Gehrke ART DIRECTOR Bas Morsch PRODUCTION DESIGNERS Mattijs Arts, Rogier Charles, Monica Ragazzini SALES ASSOCIATES Haitske van Asten, Alexander Gan, Simon Poole, Justin Rink, Carolina Salazar OPERATIONS MANAGER Monique Gruter OPERATIONS ASSISTANT Desislava Pentcheva DISTRIBUTION COORDINATOR Patrick van der Klugt DISTRIBUTION INTERN Chris Tian FINANCIAL ADVISER Kurt Schmidt, Veresis Consulting PRINTER Het Volk Printing ISSN 1872-3268 THIS WEEK’S CONTRIBUTORS Peter Bartlema, Willem de Blaauw, Anuschka Blommers, Natasha Cloutier, Dara Colwell, Shyama Daryanani, Floris Dogterom, Hans Eijkelboom, Sarah Gehrke, Matt Groening, Arnoud Holleman, Luuk van Huët, Jaro Renout, Nanna Koekkoek, Patrick van der Klugt, Sophia Kornienko, Steve Korver, Jeroen de Leijer, Nick Leslie, Iris Maher, Steven McCarron, Bas Morsch, Julie Phillips, Bart Plantenga, Kim Renfrew, Jaro Renout, Marinus de Ruiter, Nina Schein, Suzanne Schreve, Niels Schumm, Shain Shapiro, Yvo Sprey, Simon Wald-Lasowski, Mark Wedin, Job Wouters and Chiel van Zelst.

10 PUDDLES by Arnoud Holleman

PRIAPIC AMSTERDAMMERTJES by Arnoud Holleman

SATURDAY 13 MAY | Dam 13.30 - 15.30 | by Hans Eijkelboom

DUTCH MOUNTAINS, by Arnoud Holleman

These four series won two European Newspaper Awards. For the award-winning covers, see page 8.

Amsterdam Weekly

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21 December 2006-3 January 2007

AROUND TOWN The Bol is back!

But not, alas, for long...

NANNA KOEKOEK

By Willem de Blaauw

Bibob-ahooha On burgemeesters, brothels and bans.

By Floris Dogterom Come Christmas, will the lights still shine in the Red Light District? If city hall applies the so-called Bibob [Bevordering Integriteitsbeoordelingen Openbaar Bestuur, which means roughly ‘promotion integrity assessments public administration’] law strictly, chances are that about a third of the window prostitutes will have to turn off the lights.

The Bibob law enables the city to suspend brothel licenses if there are reasons to believe that the premises are being used for penal offences like money laundering. Mayor Job Cohen has spoken of a ‘frontal attack’ on dubious brothel proprietors. It’s the umpteenth chapter in the never-ending story of a city government and its relation with a line of business that in the Dutch press is often euphemistically referred to as the ‘relaxation industry’.

It’s the year 1865. De Amstelstem, a kind of 19th-century Amsterdam Weekly, derides Mayor Messchert van Vollenhoven’s indecisiveness, by writing: ‘How well the medical police is doing their job! What strict and just supervision on the prostituted!’ This jibe is quoted in Een keten van macht—Amsterdam en zijn burgemeesters vanaf 1850 [‘A

chain of power—Amsterdam and its mayors from 1850’]. Its editor, who also wrote six chapters of the book, is political scientist and journalist Dirk Wolthekker, who’s working on his dissertation about Gijs van Hall, the mayor between 1957 and 1967.

Sitting in his living room in the eaves of a house in Eerste Helmersstraat, Wolthekker explains that in 19th-century Amsterdam, the situation surrounding prostitution was different from other cities. ‘Unlike in many other Dutch cities, in Amsterdam the prostitution wasn’t regulated. There was no need for it,’ says Wolthekker. ‘After the Golden Age, the Amsterdam economy stagnated, a period that lasted until approximately 1850. Business was declining, not many sailors were coming. There wasn’t much money around, which meant that there weren’t that many prostitutes around either. But, although the proportions of prostitution weren’t a problem, public opinion raised questions in the morality and public health care departments. On a moral level, there was friction between prostitution and the prevailing Calvinistic ethic. People were also worried about venereal diseases. Amsterdam, as the capital, had to set a good example for others.’

The situation changed dramatically in the late-19th century, when Amsterdam became a boom town. The harbour flourished again, steam engineering spurred on the manufacturing industry and tens of thousands of people from other parts of the country moved to the capital in search of a better future. So did the prostitutes. Wolthekker says: ‘In 1896, an investigation showed there were nineteen

Plug out of socket. Keep that bulb in your pocket.

brothels and one hundred and ten prostitutes. Only eleven of them were Dutch, the rest mainly German. Of course, these were only the official figures. Illegal prostitution was much bigger. The city council proposed a ban on brothels, but the police were against it, out of fear that clandestine prostitution would grow. In that respect, there is a clear link with the present debate.’

In 1926, the vice squad was formed in order to establish better control over regular prostitution. By that time, the official count was 1,000 so-called ‘houses of ill repute’ and 1,900 prostitutes. Wolthekker says: ‘Still, politics didn’t identify a need to ban prostitution, on the basis of the relatively low number of illegitimate children. It was concluded that prostitution couldn’t be that widespread.’

Wolthekker says he approves of the current wind of change in the prostitution debate. ‘It was Lodewijk Asscher [deputy mayor] who started the discussion; Cohen took it over. The heart of the matter is: what kind of country are we living in, that puts its women behind windows like this? Next to that, the mayor is worried about the enormous amounts of illegal money involved, even if prostitution now has a legal status. With the Bibob law, the onus of proof now lies with the insured. I think that’s a good thing. Of course, there’s always a chance that prostitutes will go underground, just like in the nineteenth century. But that shouldn’t be a reason for doing nothing about the current situation.’

It’s happy days for shopkeepers and inhabitants of De Pijp: work on the Noord-Zuidlijn in Ferdinand Bolstraat has—temporarily—stopped. No more noise from dawn until late and no more mess and muddy pavements. What’s more, the bicycle lane that had to make way for the works, machines and builders is back.

And now there’s a Friday and Saturday braderie. Will this bring the shoppers back?

‘It’s about bloody time!’ A woman with a thick Amsterdam accent doesn’t have any trouble speaking her mind. ‘For the last four years, Ferdinand Bolstraat has been a complete nightmare, what with the work, noise and no cycle path. I live near Rustenburgerstraat and work in the centre. The easiest way for me to get to work is to cycle through Ferdinand Bolstraat, but for the last four years I had to make an annoying detour. Sometimes I absentmindedly still make that detour—force of habit I suppose. But I’m very, very glad the cycle path re-opened a few weeks ago.’

And so am I. I live around the corner and for four years I’ve had to worm my way along the narrow pavement between the shops and the gates. Despite numerous ‘no biking’ signs, I often collided with cyclists who couldn’t be arsed to obey the rules. When the work in Ferdinand Bolstraat started, it was estimated that it would take only a year and a half. Now it’s four years later and it’s not yet complete.

The Noord-Zuidlijn is also 83 million euros over its estimated budget and the opening is now foreseen for 2013.

Shopkeepers were the first to complain. Of course shopkeepers always complain: it’s in their genes. And if you are an Amsterdam shopkeeper, you probably get a complimentary complain diploma when you open a shop. But this time they were right—so they must be over the moon

De sfeer is weer helemaal terug. Not.

Amsterdam Weekly

NANNA KOEKOEK

that the work has stopped for a while.

Jorien Kaper, street manager, confirms this: ‘Shopkeepers are extremely happy. Stadsdeel Oud-Zuid came up with a plan to do something to lessen the pain of loss of income. On Fridays and Saturdays a braderie is held in Ferdinand Bolstraat, where once the machines were digging.

Each shop or local artist in the street, can have a free stall, paid for by the stadsdeel.

Christmas lights have been put up and the weekend before Christmas there’ll be some more atmosphere-enhancing activities. There’ll be a Father Christmas and the off-licence will hand out glühwein.’

It sounds jolly good on paper, but when we have a look on a busy Saturday, the so-called ‘promenade’ is full of empty stalls. There are 15 to 20 stalls, but only a handful are actually used by shopkeepers.

The pouring rain—and later hail—doesn’t make it better.

A woman from FEBO is braving the horrible weather behind her stall. She isn’t selling kroketten, but a selection of books (romance and thrillers) and clothes. ‘I can’t produce snacks here on the stall,’ she explains. ‘And we are allowed to sell anything we want, so we are not limited to frietjes. I’ve heard that lots of shops simply don’t have the staff to man a stall on a Saturday. They are needed in the shops,’ she says when I ask her why so few stalls are doing business.

‘That’s true,’ says Lidwien Curfs, owner of clothing shop Haastje Repje.

‘When the idea was first introduced most shops said they would join, but it’s not always easy. Some staff refuse to stand outside, other shops just need all their staff inside. But we are all happy the bicycle lane is back and that the gates have gone. People couldn’t see the shops across the street and had a difficult time crossing the street. The result? They couldn’t be bothered to visit shops. I can tell the difference financially, and the street has been “re-opened” only for a few weeks now.’

The work on the metro line will restart some time in February next year. ‘Most of the work will be underground,’ explains Jorien Kaper, ‘so it won’t be such of a mess as before.’ And the cycle lane? Will it stay?

‘In principle, yes. But you never know.’

So we better make the most of it while we can, otherwise we will need to take action into our own hands. To misquote The Smiths: shoppers and cyclists of De Pijp, unite and take over!

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NANNA KOEKOEK

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

Send in the satanic clowns!

The return of the original cool fool.

By Jaro Renout Anyone who lived in Amsterdam between 1975 and 1984 remembers the Festival of Fools. Clowns, jugglers, magicians and more clowns roamed the city, a medieval mass with a modern touch. In summer, fools from all over the world flocked to Vondelpark and it was largely this band of merry pranksters who gave our city its reputation as a safe haven for harmless idiots. It was cool to be a fool.

At the centre of it all was downtown clown, Jango Edwards. Accompanied by his friends Road Show, he brought us classic songs such as ‘Life could be oh-sosweet, if I was a bicycle seat’ and characters like the partly enlightened Hare Christmas. He left Holland in the mid-’80s, and the park was never the same again.

But now he’s back, with two Melkweg shows and stage partner Peter Ercolano.

Why did you leave us?

Holland was changing. The whole fools thing was changing. And Holland has a different comedy tradition—more cabaret. I was teaching at the Kleinkunstacademie. Among my pupils were people like Arjan Ederveen and Kees Prins. They made their mark in their very own way. Plus, Holland is a relatively small market, it’s difficult to be just here.

I was clowning all over the world, South

America and so on. The only place I haven’t been to yet is China. I’m still travelling ten months a year. I’m not living anywhere specific.

How do you feel about coming back to Amsterdam?

Oh, it’s great. We did a reunion show in Venlo last year, and to my surprise twelve thousand people had a ball that day. And I did a commercial on Dutch TV: I was Boris, the near-sighted clown with a frown in the Pearl ad. That made an impact as well. That’s when we thought: wow! We should be doing shows in Amsterdam. They didn’t forget about us just yet. We’re also making a new album for our Dutch friends. We felt obliged.

Is the profession thriving?

Yes! You may not notice in Holland, but it’s huge. There are clowns everywhere. Peter Ercolano and myself were in Mexico, doing stuff in the streets. You wouldn’t believe the amount of people involved in clowning. The future looks bright.

The world is changing. Does that affect you as a clown?

Of course. You know, the world has become less safe, less stable. A clown should watch his ass these days. Before you know, they’ll think we’re dangerous and subversive. But clowns don’t harm anyone—on the contrary, we make people laugh.

What can a clown do to make this world a better place?

What we’ve been doing all along. If you’re having a good time with each other you’re not likely to kill the person sitting next to you. Clowns don’t take sides. We make fun of everything.

This thing we did in Mexico was called ‘Fools Militia’. We took it to Rome, Hamburg, Barcelona, Geneva, everywhere. We raise questions, and resolve them by means of a veritable weapon of mass destruction: humour. A huge success. But then I said something in an interview about Bush, and also the use of

In yer freakin face!

words like ‘militia’ and so on in the emails I sent, drew the attention of the U.S. authorities. Soon after that I lost my passport. And guess what, the American Embassy made it clear that I was under suspicion for terrorism. Would you believe it?! This has been going on for a year. I have a passport now, but it expires while I’m in Holland. I’ll have to convince the American embassy I’m not Satan.

Have you been back to the States at all?

Yes, I have. They just think I’m crazy.

Mind you, it’s very difficult to be an American these days.

My friend Johnny Depp had to withdraw some statement he made to keep his passport from being confiscated.

What can we expect in Amsterdam?

We’re doing two shows, and both nights are going to be completely different. I’m working with a full band again, sixteen musicians. It’s awesome. On 29 December we’ll be doing a musical concert, all the songs. The following night, seven performers are added, and my two sons will join me [One of them is better known in hiphop circles as DJ Turne].

Expect a lot of old stuff as well, characters like Oral Bob. Like a ‘Best of Jango’.

We’re gonna do a two-and-a-half hour excerpt from a sixteen hour show! And workshops: the world needs more clowns.

Do you think you will ever perform in Vondelpark again?

Not likely. I’m retiring soon. It’s getting hard, physically, to dive into a glass of water. The Amsterdam shows and workshops are among the last I’m doing.

I’m looking forward to working with my old friends again. I’m gonna stop were I started, right here in Amsterdam.

Do you still feel like a Fool?

Absolutely. I’m fifty six, but in my mind I’m still seven.

Amsterdam Weekly

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21 December-23 January 2006

OW 2006 Illustrations by Job Wouters and Yvo Sprey LET

Amsterdamdag An expensive day of ‘bringing Amsterdam together’ generated little interest. When will they learn that you can’t manufacture gezelligheid from the top down. Free pendel buses to Kwakoe instead! (SK) Balance We were overly concerned about the names that football players call each other in those 90 minutes a week when testosterone and adrenaline fight for supremacy in their bodies and minds. Meanwhile, cold-hearted politicians take the Mickey out of stuff like justice, civilised behaviour and empathy, and we wonder whether to agree or not. (JR)

terdam Weekly distributed there, she said: ‘No. We don’t want English visitors.’ Integratie autism in action! (PK)

around so the ceiling crumbles on my carpet. Sometimes it is one hard loud thump.

He probably just knocks himself out. (SS)

Irony Ah, the Dutch. Not only losing their self-esteem in moral issues (see: Srebrenica), but now also having to face the facts presented in recent studies that they don’t speak foreign languages as well as they assume they do. They think they are near-native English speakers; in reality they can’t tell a collar from a colour. (FD)

One night stand A Bulgarian DJ. (The best was an English chef.)

Names have been withheld to protect the guilty. (WdB)

Joke Q. What neigbourhood destroyed itself before the local youth got a change?

A. Bos en Lommer (JR)

Crime rate De Baarsjes’, to be precise.

Dozens of shootings around the corner and I never noticed any of them. How is one supposed to keep up one’s street credibility? (LvH)

Demotion According to some smartass space scientist types, Pluto no longer rates as a planet. Hey, what ever happened to looking out for the little guy? (SK) Exhibition The Serge Gainsbourg photo exhibition at Masion Descartes turned out to be really crap.

Only 15 pictures on display, no effort made whatsoever. I mean, my Gainsbourg CD collection looks better! (WdB) Festival The Lowlands festival used to be an exciting, even daring, celebration of pop culture. Unfortunately, corporate indolence turned it into Ikea.

This year’s apathy was momentarily pulverised by a man celebrating his 163rd birthday: Iggy Pop. Unprecedented amounts of raw power poured onto us like sweet rain. ‘It’s fucking hard to be Elvis!’ Yeah, right. (JR) Gezeik Yuppies trying to stop the Westertoren’s carillon from rocking out at night as it has for centuries.

Wimps! Don’t you know the long-term residents can’t sleep without it? Just freaking move to Almere. (SK) Honesty The ticket counter lady at the Theater de Meervaart in Osdorp. When asked if they wanted Ams-

Kaka, a new strain of Across from Chocolate Bar in De Pijp, a brown-yellowish, sturdy and smooth, perfectly coiled dog turd stayed in shape for three days against all odds, untrammelled by the ravages of passers-by, bicycle tyres, sanitary bags, curious dogs or weather conditions. (SS) Lesbian and gay angstinducing moment Five years of gay marriage.

Does it mean we’ve gone respectable?

Have I been an outsider for 20 years just to be accepted into the fold by the very people who rejected me in the first place?

Is it apeing heterosexuality? Is it right for us? What does it all mean? Where do we go now? Who wears the frock? Which one’s the man? Arthur or Martha? These are the kind of spiritually hand-wringing questions we toss and turn at night about.

(KR) Monopoly Ticketmaster: greedy fucks. Sometimes it’s better to stay at home than feed their monopoly. Booking fees, credit card fees, postage fees, print your own ticket at home fees. You can’t even order for more than one event at a time, like there’s no supercomputer built so far that could cope with the strain. ‘Thank you for buying from us, now pay me to take your money.’ No! Fuck off! (SM) Neighbour Peter refused to take his anti-schizophrenic medications, now a whole bunch of people live up there. His favourite tune is Underworld’s ‘Born Slippy’ which he plays at four a.m. on loop 10 times. Peter also likes to jump

Politician Gonny van Oudenallen. It’s tough being a bigger cunt than Verdonk, but she pulls it off. (LvH) [Note from editor: A lot of people wanted to write this one.]

Quadricentenary Rembrandt van Rijn’s. It doesn’t matter how much you loved the Master on 1 January 2006.

Even the most ardent of aficionados were stifling yawns by summer. Note to curators: you can have too much of a good thing. (KR)

Rubber Rotten Tomato for My All Round Worst Eating Experience 2006 goes to Dim Sum Court. You can eat all you like in an hour—but who would want to? Their dim sum was as tough as rubber bullets.

Everything had spent far too long lying about in a bain-marie, developing a tough rhino skin. (NL)

Service The Kafka-esque trials with KPN. When they incorrectly shut off ADSL late in October, trying to get it rectified took two months of insane conversations with highly strung, thin-skinned employees who, if you said: ‘Don’t take this personally, I’m not blaming you, but this is really bad service,’ would prove it by hanging up. As the frustration mounted they said there was nothing they could do except follow protocol which of course each employee interpreted totally differently. I straggled along a virtual highway littered with a tragicomedy of errors, gaffes, waiting, impenetrable hierarchies that made you feel like the victim of a conspiracy about to become a theory. Sisyphus would have committed suicide. I vented my fury by cleaning the house and drinking goblets of calvados. (BP)

Taxi The Amsterdam taxi experience: a smoking driver who doesn’t speak the language—any language—will not take you for a ride under five kilometres. If you desire to go to an address beyond the five kilometre limit, you’ll have to explain where it is.

He doesn’t understand TomTom. Oh, and then they drive like maniacs and charge the most expensive prices on the planet. When is the big change coming exactly? (FD) Useless survey This summer, a survey found that Balkenende is definitely not sexy, an obvious conclusion for many thinking constituents. Evidently, the survey found the Dutch prefer choosing their wallets over sex appeal and charisma, so Harry Potter, at least in the meantime, gets to stay. (DC) Vertrutting Man I miss those raffelrandjes of yesterday. Dijksgracht has to make room for parking metres. ADM is threatened with eviction. Can’t they leave at least some of that funky shit alone?

(SK) Woeden Het Woeden der Gehele Wereld rates as the year’s worst film. At the press screening, the producer, who also co-directed, was present to hand out copies of the book to each and every audience member, which were accepted with an awkward silence.

(LvH) Xmas tree The one on the Dam, natch.

Bare of baubles, impoverished of pine needles, generally appearing like a bedraggled stray dog which has slumped its weary corpse in front of the Royal Palace. Make like Londoners, city councillors, and get on the blower to some friendly Norwegians. (KR) Y ‘Why?’ Yes, why? Well, because some questions shall always remain unanswered. And that kinda sucks. (SK) Zwartboek It’s actually better than bad: it’s good. Yes, we are ending this list with something a bit more upbeat... When Paul Verhoeven was filming Zwartboek, word kept going around: ‘Wow, he blew up a whole farmhouse in Groningen.’ It turned out that not only was the farmhouse bombed sky-high, but this SFX tour de force— one that would have been the climax of most Dutch movies—happened in the film’s first five minutes. Within the first 15 minutes, Verhoeven had offed Michiel Huisman, Holland’s most handsome leading man. Whatever else you think of the film, the man gets points for audacity. (JP)

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

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WOW 2006 Willem de Blaauw (WdB), Natasha Cloutier (NC), Dara Colwell (DC), Floris Dogterom (FD), Luuk van Huët (LvH), Sophia Kornienko (SoK), Steve Korver (SK), Nick Leslie (NL), Iris Maher (IM), Steven McCarron (SM), Bas Morsch (BM), Julie Phillips (JP), Bart Plantenga (BP), Kim Renfrew (KR), Jaro Renout (JR), Nina Schein (NS), Suzanne Schreve (SS), Patrick van der Klugt (PvdK) and Mark Wedin (MW).

Ass-muscles exercise: Instant out-of-town high: ride your bike to the end of tram 25, cross the Utrechtsebrug and start unwinding as you coast downhill around the curve. Hang a left and just follow the path. Pass the volkstuinen and vacant lot containing a Camaro and an ancient Oldsmobile or two. Then along the Amstel, admiring boats, goats, turkeys and windmills on your way. Don’t forget to stop for ice cream on the way back. Also good with tourists in tow. (IM) B12 The new street drug hype? So far, there’s only one person in the entire wallen peddling this vitamin as if it’s a hardcore drug. He’s dressed all in white, his sanity is not quite clear, but his determination is. Most people ignore him, but many (especially tourists) wonder just how good his stuff is. Perhaps we’ll see more B12 on the black market next year. (MW) Conspiracy PIPS:lab’s Washing Powder Conspiracy. Remember kids, manipulating the media can still also be fun! (SK) Day of Slayer One day you can tell your children that you lived through 6 June, 2006—a day to celebrate the devil and his music. And who thought it would ever be acceptable to listen to Slayer now that you aren’t 16 years old? Extra credit goes to Rotterdam where the day marked the 666th birthday of the city, so it became a prolonged celebration. Bet you always thought Rotterdam was evil. (SM)

Eats Foodware’s Italian bol: one half covered with a creamy, fungi-porcini sauce on succulent guinea fowl breast chunks, topped with crispy pancetta, the other with rucola, mixed salad leaves and oven-cooked mushrooms. Pienong Thai’s sate. New King’s lamb rack with garlic and sweet soy.

Tasca de Lisboa piri piri chicken.

Tjingtjing’s bold grilled ostrich in a tumeric, white wine and apricot sauce on fresh coriander rosti. Café de Klos for spare ribs. (NL) Furniture The chairs that adorned the election billboards. I don’t know what affiliation it was, but they made it clear they wanted a zetel. Inspired.

(LvH) Gitanes, fistfuls thereof Serge Gainsbourg: Een Hommage at Paradiso on 23

September. Hyper-fantastique evening where I thought I’d gone to heaven, which turned out to be a multimedia theatre filled with Francophiles and Serge fans.

Hearing author Sylvie Simmons read from her Gainsbourg biog, DJ Guuzbourg spinning, old films and Scopitones and some great live interpretations and extrapolations of Serge, all presented in such a lively hypertextual-altered-state-of-consciousness way I left the Paradiso suddenly wondering if he really was dead and whether smoking Gitanes is something my resumé lacks. (BP)

simply could not resist the artistic merits of the signs. To avoid any further theft, the town hall decided to put the new sign on sale on the internet, at 90 euros per piece. They received over 800 orders in the first week alone; 65% of the orders came from the US. (SoK)

Hack The Spiderman of modern art did it again. Graffiti artist Banksy—currently as famous as his identity is secret—and Gnarls Barkley’s brainiac producer Danger Mouse illegally remixed the hell out of Paris Hilton’s latest hobbyhorse CD and switched copies in stores around England. Guess which one will be talked about for many years to come? (JR)

News titbit Dutch women’s breasts are getting bigger—a whopping 32% register as a D-cup or bigger, ranking behind British and Danish mammaries. Bad news: 44% of teenage girls think eating fatty foods makes ’em bigger. Like, huh? (DC)

Kraak The bridge building over the A10 in Bos en Lommer was the perfect place to hang ‘Honk for Squatting’ banners. It even became a mosque for Ramadan. (SK) Lesbian and gay two-fingered salute The fifth birthday of same sex weddings in May. But the fight isn’t over yet: while some people think it’s a good thing that lesbian and gay relationships are enshrined in law as a right, others—i.e. me—won’t rest until they’ve become an obligation. (KR) Marketing Amsterdam city council’s decision trade in street signs forbidding smoking weed outdoors. The first red-and-white signs, depicting a joint squeezed between two fingers with smoke clouds shaped like marijuana leaves coming out, appeared on 1 February in De Baarsjes, but were stolen in a matter of days. The locals

Terrible TV Moment The real-life show Ik vertrek featured a boy and a girl—about 20 years old—who had the dream of starting a restaurant in Greece. They had never been outside of Holland, had no cooking experience, and barely spoke any English. They took a plane and bought a restaurant. The cooking of two omelettes ‘Special’ for their very first customers is definitely the Best Terrible TV Moment of 2006.

(BM) Undercover action Positief Offensief for randomly repairing people’s flat bike tires under the cover of night.

(SK)

Iranian graphics The graphic designer Reza Abedini helped remind people that making beautiful images can be more powerful than politics. Visit Teheran today! No joke. (SK) Jet-set Yodel moment Early in November, while shooting the documentary Yodelling: Echo of Life in Switzerland, we enter the deep Muotathal valley backwoods Schlussel bar reeking of schnapps and beer, where we hear some amazing natuurjodels—the kind associated with herders—by a young farmboy duo, only to have the rest of the bar of hearty imbibers join in with deep background bass yodelling. It was like a cross between Gregorian chant and the vocal equivalent of a Coltrane solo. Tears welled up in internal organs where no tears have ever been found. (BP)

Sit-in Not since the days of James and their huge chart hit ‘Sit Down’ has it been the done thing to manipulate an audience into doing just that. But The Decembrists from Portland are so uncool that they’re now ultra cool and successfully got a Paradiso full-house to hit the deck on command. Who’d have bet on an audience actually listening to a band? (SM)

One-man band Andrew Bird is the best one-man-band you’ll ever see. It’s suddenly the hip thing to set up a violin with a loop station, but no-one does it like Bird. The American songwriter played two nights at Paradiso back in May and swept away the audiences with some help from Anticon drummer/sample maestro Dosh. A proper touch of the sublime. (SM)

Penalties Football, football, football. It’s all I remember from June and July while the World Cup was on. Holland choked and all the entertaining teams went out too soon, so it certainly wasn’t the best competition ever. At least you can always count on England to save the day by blowing it on penalties—again. As if they were wearing orange shirts... (SM) Quincentenary Rembrandt van Rijn’s. The good news is that we’ll all be dead and buried in the cold, cold ground by the time that one comes around! (SK) Reinterpretation of a classic The appletini! Njoy by Leidseplein served me some deep martinis that kept my head spinning the whole night of my birthday. Just when I had lost faith in a touristy area, Njoy made me a great cocktail. (NS)

Vessel Stubnitz. Who can’t love a post-Apocaplytic fishing boat turned into a floating cultural power thingie. (SK) Wurst Tilmann Meyer-Faje opened a temporary all-German shop in Westerpark. Among the goods were some delicious, impeccable Würste. Along with mustard, they were handed out with the phrase: all things have an end, but a wurst has two.

(MW) Xylophone (of course.

What else would X be for?)

There’s man who busks with a xylophone—or maybe it’s a glockenspiel. Or is it a marimba? Ah! Who cares?—who busks around Leidesplein and Rembrandtplein and all the tourist hotspots, and he’s a joy to see and hear. He’s like a Looney Tunes cartoon! A blur of octopus arms, his crazed journey up and down the musical scales always sound like Tom and Jerry are creating havoc in Mammy Two-Shoes living room. (KR) Yé Yé Girl French 1960s legend Jacqueline Taïeb performed live, together with the Amsterdam Beat Club, at the Winston.

They hit it off so well, they just rerecorded her famous hit ‘7 heures du matin’ and she’s written a song about Amsterdam. (NC) Zwijger Anyone who organises a Brainspotting festival is AOK in our books. Whatta Pakhuis! (SK)

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Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

50 COVERS...50 QUOTES...50 POINTS OF VIEW.

1.‘YOUNG THINKERS FIND BEAUTY IN POO.’

2. ‘Like the time he was interviewing Boris Yeltsin, for instance, who became so angry at Vischjager’s question that he started beating on the table with a shoe. “Like, uh, Khrushchev?” “Yes, exactly. Yeltsin was fuming.”’

5. ‘“I saw a photograph of Annie of when she was old,” he explains, “and I noticed that she wore sunglasses, even though the picture was taken inside. I soon discovered that she always wore sunglasses, because she was snow blind. As an actress she had jeopardised her eyesight by staring into carbon lamps, because this helped to make her cry for dramatic scenes.”’

3. ‘Job Cohen seemed equally unsure about how realistic it would be to evacuate Amsterdam. He said: “If you try to cart off a million people, that’s naturally an enormous commotion and confusion—it would never go perfectly right.”’

6. ‘“My woman. Why my woman do this?” he moaned as he pulled his bloodstained T-shirt over his head and hissed between his teeth. He looked at me inquisitively, as if I had the answer.’

4. ‘Van der Hout’s idea was that fairytales originate from a bygone era and all the old storytellers that knew them have passed away, so each tale has become an “island in time.” He thought it was a brilliant metaphor, while we thought it meant declaring that storytelling culture was dead.’

7. ‘I remember one sunny Saturday afternoon in April 2003, riffling through the outside tables and coming across the garish, sensationalist cover of a 1960s gay pulp fiction paperback. And another.

Then another and another and another. This was pay dirt, and at €10 per half-dozen! I came away with two carrier-bags full of the buggers and each is a sociological specimen.’

8.‘BY MID-AFTERNOON THE HOURLY “DRY FUCK SHOWS” HAD TO BE INCREASED TO EVERY HALF HOUR IN ORDER TO ACCOMMODATE THE LONG QUEUES.’ 10. ‘One of Engelbregt’s projects 9. ‘This afternoon, I tried that caused a real media frenzy out the seats in the was his “investigation of illegals” in gemeenteraad. They’re 2001. Some 200,000 households in Amsterdam received a form in nice, with a little computwhich they were asked if they er and all. You can just knew any illegals, and if so, if they continue doing what you could report their whereabouts. normally do, like surfing Although some people actually filled out the form, many were outover the web, or making raged by the investigation—and art. Even in the Stopera, only very few understood they life goes on.’ were dealing with art.’

11.‘FUCK I’M DEPRESSED.’ 12. ‘I heard the news about Taida Pasic on the radio and thought: “That Verdonk, wat een kutwijf!” In a spontaneous reaction I used my blog for a weapon and made the bomb.’

13. ‘I was finally given my full rights—rightly so, as I was already paying all my taxes but was denied my full citizen’s rights.’

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15. ‘A walk among all the rust and rubble shows that beauty can also be found in decay and destruction, not to mention it being a fertile ground for things to come.’

14.‘“MY FATHER’S POLISH,” SAYS BURAKOWSKI,“SO THERE’S A LOT OF POTATOES IN MY WORK.”’ 17. ‘I actually don’t want to draw people’s attention to the shop window; the things on display I’ve put there for my own amusement.’

18. ‘Komrij explains: “You know, there are so many cookbooks, but hardly any about the second part of the digestive process. Mind you, I am only interested in writings about shit, not in shit itself. Seeing a dog’s turd is usually enough to make me want to vomit.’

20. ‘I’ve only dropped acid that one time. I felt it was necessary for the accuracy of the movie.’

19.‘YOU SEE, LIFE IS FULL OF CONTRADICTIONS THAT CAN ONLY BE RESOLVED THROUGH LOVE.’

21.‘THE RESULTS WERE PRETTY DAMN AMAZ22. ‘My eyes bulged out in complete fascination at ING. IT CHANGED A LOT OF PEOPLE’S watching my pee come out my paper penis.’

PERCEPTIONS OF THE CRANK ORGAN.’

16.‘THE LEAST DISCRIMINATING DINERS OF ALL TIME MUST BE ZOMBIES: THOSE BASTARDS WILL EAT ANYONE AND ANYTHING.’

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

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...A YEAR IN REVIEW...50 COVERS...50 QUOTES...5 European Newspaper Award winners NA

23. ‘Before the opening game against Serbia-Montenegro the son of Frans, our administrator, will play the national anthem Hendrix-style on an electric guitar.’

24. ‘At night I went to the fence and called out her name. Miss Pels, with whom Anne had been hiding at Prinsengracht, heard me and got Anne. Anne called back, but I heard she wasn’t the same Anne anymore.

She was a broken person. We both cried.’

25. ‘“When I released my first album, I was living in the park. Now I am in Amsterdam: hiphop has brought me here,” says KRS-One.’

29.‘I SEE THE BIJLMER AS A MULTICULTURAL METAPHOR FOR THE HOLLAND OF TOMORROW.’ 26. ‘The problem with these projects is the complete lack of soul. Do you realise what you can do with 250,000 euros? Festivals like Roots Open Air, for example.

Six stages, over 50 local and international acts and 58,000 Amsterdammers of all cultural backgrounds.’

27. ‘Stupidity is everywhere, and as a human being you have to come to terms with it.

You have to celebrate stupidity. I see life as a game, but I take that game seriously...’

28. ‘I used to dare her to come at me full speed; it was a little like a matador thing and we danced like mad whenever we were out. One time I even got on her wheelbed with her and she spun me around—that was wild.’

30. ‘Let’s see... what am I gonna do? I’m gonna cut some mangoes. That’s what I’m gonna do.’ issue 6

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31.‘ONE CAN’T GO ON IMPERSONATING SHIRLEY BASSEY FOREVER.’ 32.‘PLEASE GO DIVING, OTHERWISE YOU BECOME TOO DEPRESSED.’

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34. ‘There is, to put it simply, a shortage of beds in closed psychiatric institutions. And the reason for that is that they have been scrapped because of cost cuts. It’s not hard to understand. It’s not rocket science.’

36.‘I FOUND A PLASTIC CARROT LEFT OVER FROM THAT ERA.’ 35. ‘I become a giant mouth, masticating morsel by morsel, gibbering with glee.’

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33. ‘“Uh, well...the rugstreeppad. It’s a kind of frog. When we build new terminals in the port we have to create new living areas for the frogs.” This is the closest thing to a concrete answer that Franklin Wattimena can provide regarding the city port’s environmental concerns.’

37. ‘The media producers, content distributors, advertisers and investors who are attending will hardly flinch at the high fee. But it somehow feels uncomfortable; being that cross media is also about open-source, bottom-up innovation and knowledge sharing.’

38. ‘By far, the most common thing people say to me is, “Get later hours for nightlife.” That’s what everybody wants.’

39.‘DID HE WHO MADE THE LAMB MAKE THEE?’ issue 46

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40.’ The safest—but longest way—is to fly to Istanbul then to Diyarbakir in South Eastern Turkey, then three-and-a-half hours by car to the border, and from there, seven hours to Suleimaniya.’

45. ‘The foundation came to the conclusion that GroenLinks, SP and ChristenUnie (the reformed Christian party) are “reasonably green” and the social-democrat PvdA too, “but to a slightly lesser extent.” The Christian-democrat CDA and VVD are doing a worse job.

41. ‘I found her in a cardboard box, naked with big boobs and blond hair. I instantly knew she would breathe life back into Club Pipi.’

46.‘EEEEEEEVVVVVRRROOOOOOOOOM!’

42. ‘“Wahbopalubopopawhapbambu has been my favourite line of all time.’

43. ‘“Normally we have a lot of electric objects making strobes,” says Wagemakers, “but tonight they will be turned off—for the sake of people with pacemakers.”’

47.‘I BELIEVE IN THE EXISTENCE 44.‘I LOVE HAVING A VIP OF A STROOPWAFEL.’ 48. ‘“We report a consistent neural response in the SECTION AT AN EQUALITY EVENT.’ ventromedial prefrontal cortex that correlated with subjects behavioural preferences.”’

49.‘THE SECOND B IN BBC STANDS FOR GEZELLIG.’

50.‘NOTHING SAYS CHRISTMAS LIKE GERMAN THRASH LEGENDS.’

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

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TANIA THEODOROU AND MELANIE BONAJO

SHORT LIST

GLU party, Thursday, 11

THURSDAY 21DECEMBER Exhibition: Hot Rod Kustom Art Exhibition

tainers dance their way past you to the beat of a different drum. (Shyama Daryanani) Sugar Factory, 20.00, €12.50. Until 26 December.

Latin/Jazz: Sensuàl

Once upon a time there was a daddy. Ed ‘Big Daddy’ Roth, to be exact. Ed was a bona fide low-brow Renaissance man who unleashed on 1950s America such concepts as kustomized kars, monster T-shirts and the world’s first alternative rodent: Rat Fink. An excellent documentary—Tales of the Rat Fink by Ron Mann—has just been released and while we await its distribution, we can whet our appetites on the work of his evil spawn being displayed at Café De Cantine. There’s Wes Core, a hardcore kinda guy who specialises in tattooing and ‘lowbrow graphic design’. Then there’s Dominic Romney, the UK’s leading hot-rod lensman with his prints of tanked-up motors. German Spooky Sally is another snapper, and her speciality is cheesecake of the non-edible Americana kind. Okay, you can’t eat it, but it’s all still delicious. (Steve Korver) De Cantine, Until 21 January.

Fronted by your favourite girl-next-door Eva Kieboom, Sensuàl are a five piece whose origins can be traced back to the conservatoire in Utrecht. It’s the place where the band took off in 2003, fusing jazz, funk and popular Brazilian music styles such as samba and bossa nova in the wake of Zuco 103’s success. You could easily accuse them of being mere copyists, but, unlike their Amsterdam counterparts, until now Sensuàl have not busied themselves with electronics and the like. What’s more, Zuco’s very own Lilian Vieira has heaped praise on the band’s debut album Acústico. She even contributed to their second one, due for release some time in 2007 and featuring a more pop- and club-orientated sound. That’s no surprise when you know the multifaceted Kieboom, who counts Jill Scott, Elis Regina and Christina Aguilera among her favourite female vocalists, collaborated with DJs and has a Nederpop project on the side. (Peter Bartlema) Badcuyp, Bovenzaal, 20.30, €8.

Stage: Blue Man Group

Film/Lesbian: GLU party

Lights, music, props, action! And three blue men, of course. From New York to London to Berlin and now, to Amsterdam, the Blue Man Group dazzle with an unconventional mix of sound, visual effects and comedy. Some of you might have already seen a preview at the Uitmarkt ealier in the year or on the TMF Awards. If so, you’ll have a tiny idea of what to expect from the trio. What started out as a modest performance on the streets of New York has become a quite spectacular show involving multimedia, paint, pipes, all kinds of creative ways of making noise, and non-verbal theatre which appeals to audiences of all ages, even tickling the funny bones of the littlest ones. So even if not for the colour or the music, go for the comedy and you’re bound to have a good time. The best part: their show is interactive. So a tip for people with front row tickets: casual is the way to go. It could get a little messy. (Shyama Daryanani) Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 19.00, €29.50-€49.50. Until 28 February.

As part of their programme ‘If I can’t dance...’, art centre De Appel has invited GLU (Girls Like Us) magazine to present a night of short film to celebrate the publication of its fourth issue. The international quarterly, founded in 2005, aims at representing lesbian culture with humour, subversiveness and class. Tonight’s selection of films, curated by artist Susanne Winterling—interviewed in GLU #4—focuses on notions of identity. Among the film-makers are members of the collective LTTR—Lesbians To The Rescue—who also publish a regular journal. One of the longer contributions is an excerpt from The Boy Mechanic by Kaucyila Brooke, an ongoing project that documents the history of lesbian bars in cities and towns across the US and Europe through maps, photographs and stories. After the screening, there will be performances from Osdorp rapper Shedney and Chicks on Speed collaborateuse Anat Ben-David. The line up is bolstered by a strong DJ presence, including Berlin/Warsaw based Kinga, fresh from the Marc Jacobs show and NYC’s Ingie Pop. (Marinus de Ruiter) 11, clubnights until 04.00, free.

Ladies First: The Whole Shebang Ladies First are back with a bang. A she bang, in fact. For the last week of December, they will be performing their Christmas special, The Whole Shebang, in the Sugar Factory. It’s a new show in seven acts with a twist: there’s no moral and no message.

Anything is possible. The varied evening includes singing sheep, sweet angels, German divas, lipstick, dynamite... even a turkey! Claire Leenaers directs and Donja Surowiec plays the piano, while the other ladies—Bernadette Jilesen, Yvonne Weijers, Claire Fleury, Margot van der Lee and Saskia van Engeland—sing and dance. Then they scream their way through ‘Silent Night’. A theatre group that consists of professional theatre-makers, Ladies First has managed to develop a language which is accessible to everyone. So come to be surprised, laugh heartily and enjoy as these all-round enter-

SATURDAY 23 DECEMBER Festival: Sleazefest In the hilarious flick Bad Santa, Billy Bob Thornton is a bitter, foulmouthed safe cracker who robs stores by playing a grouchy Santa. Although Billy Bob will probably not show up at OCCII tonight, I sure hope the festivities are more Bad Santa than It’s a Wonderful Life. Showing up to sleaze you into the season’s cheer are a bevy of bands

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21 December 2006-3 January 2007

including garage punkers Zlammer Stuntman, The Gravediggers, The Stilettos (well received by 3voor12, among others) and in the spirit of the European Union, the Spanish garage harmonica trash blues outfit Los Fregaplatos and the German one man band The Damnation kids. More musical interludes will be provided by resident DJs. As the bar charges very reasonable prices, it could become a happy Christmas indeed. Also see the ‘Top 6’ sleaze moments of 2006 on p. 13. (Luuk van Huët) OCCII, 20.00, €6.66.

TUESDAY 26 DECEMBER Electronica: Audio Bullys When Basement Jaxx appeared in the mid-1990s in Britain, a whole new wave of house music sprouted from clubs and bars. London’s Audio Bullys are one such act who, along with the aforementioned Brixton boys, led the musical ingenuity. Production and vocal duo Tom Dinsdale and Simon Franks, both accomplished producers and musicians in their own right, have released two albums and a whole slew of singles together, including the most recent and ultra-polished ‘Generation’. Their trademark is sampling various influences from every decade and mixing them with modern, almost robotic house to create a sound that is a thumping, crisp sludge of beats, blips and bleeps that flirts with older Detroit house whilst keeping it ultra modern and definitively British. The duo are playing a few pre-NYE dates in Benelux, including this date at the indoor beach centre out in Sloterdijk, which will ensure—whatever the weather’s like—a bit of tropicana on Boxing Day. (Shain Shapiro) The Sand, 23.00, €45.

WEDNESDAY 27 DECEMBER Festival: Tangomagia Wanna see hot swinging couples? Then come and watch some warm, intimate and passionate tango moves during that awkward pause between Christmas and New Year.

For four days, the city will host the ninth annual Tangomagia festival, which attracts hundreds of tangueros and tangueras from all over the world. During the festival, Amsterdam will magically turn into the Mecca of Argentinian tango, with demonstrations from famous Argentinean couples and concerts by groups such as Orquesta Tipica Silencia and Quinteto Zárate. For novice and experienced couples who could use a little spice, be sure to catch the many salons and workshops being held in various locations around the city, as well as the free daily tango café at Hotel Arena. If your sweetie still needs convincing, here’s what you tell them: Zandunga Tango Productions, the company behind the festival, supports street children in Argentina. (Natasha Cloutier) Various locations, times and prices. Until 30 December.

THURSDAY 28 DECEMBER Film: 40 Jaar Star Trek Special Forty years ago this year, Star Trek made its debut on US TV. A soap opera in a dream landscape, it dealt with the West’s colonial past while predicting its multicultural future and, like all successful formulae, has lent itself to shameless parody ever since.

In a fortieth anniversary double bill of holiday Trekkie fun, Filmhuis Cavia brings us the singing, dancing, cross-dressing German comedy (T)raumschiff Surprise (2004; in German with Dutch subtitles). The crew of the Surprise are the last hope of Earth in the war against the Martians—but all they care about is getting ready for the Miss Waikiki pageant. A time moped may solve their problems—if they can just get out of the 14th century and back to Waikiki. In the darker Finnish space opera Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning (2005; in Finnish with English subtitles), Captain Pirk crash-lands in the 21st century and, when history doesn’t go the way he expects, sets out to make himself emperor of Earth. So much for the Prime Directive… (Julie Phillips) Cavia, 20.30, €4.

WEDNESDAY 3 JANUARY Gay and lesbian: F*cking POP Queers and Artlaunch Café So much nightlife at this grey, chilly, bilious time is to do with looking back, for the sake of auld lang syne and all that. So full marks to Studio 80 for inaugurating a new once-a-weeker so soon into 2007. Although the venue is known for it’s remarkably gayfriendly programming, until now it’s never had a regular gay night proper. F*cking POP Queers was given a dress-rehearsal back in mid-December, and now it’s taking centre stage and the debutante’s DJs are Claudette, Kmart, RFH Delfos, a regular at many Studio 80 nights, including M.U.L.T.I.S.E.X.I. and Kaseta. Regulars of another Studio 80 evening, Electric Xchange, will recognise the ArtLaunch Café brand, held in the club’s back room. (Kim Renfrew) Studio 80, 23.00-late, free before 0.00, then €5.

Send details and images for listing consideration at least two weeks in advance to agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl.

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

Oh, my head feels like it’s gonna pop!

SIMON WALD-LASOWSKI

want to shake a leg to, via a digital voting system. So if you happen to share the tastes of the mass, you’ll have a blast! For even more fun, there’ll be a special edition of the notorious Popquiz a Go Go, plus the country’s one and only fireworks DJ. Club 8, Admiraal de Ruijterweg 56B, 22.00-6.00, €20 (€25 after 1.00), presale at Club 8 and Killacutz.

Of course most of us will be drinking alone and smoking that last cigarette, but just in case you do want to party...

SIX WAYS TO SAY GOODBYE TO 2006

By Sarah Gehrke Amsterdam Beat Club New Year’s Beat Bash Attention hepcats and beatnik babes: at Maloe Melo, the biggest night of the year will be easy as ABC, with the Beatclub celebrating in suitably existential style.

Performances by T-99, The Anacondas, West Hell Three and The Sixtyniners will provide for some rockin’ live action.

Then, continue to boogie, twist and shout and shake and swing to tunes supplied by DJs including Johnny Torpedo, De Pep, and Charley Rhythm.

Maloe Melo, Lijnbaansgracht 163, 22.00late, €25, presale at Maloe Melo.

DRACUL Oud & Nieuw ‘It is the eve of 31 December. Do you not know that tonight, when the clock strikes midnight, all the evil things in the world

will have full sway?’ Yes Mr Stoker, we know. And so do the organisers of this theatrical event based on everyone’s favourite bloodsucking story, taking place on two ships in the industrial harbour. Strive for dance floor immortality while DJs Joost van Bellen, NYC house legend DJ Pierre, Blue Note hero Maestro and many more provide the sounds. So come out, come out, wherever you are, and don’t forget to don that gothic gear.

Ferries go every 15 mins from Oude Houthaven, Tasmanstraat, 22.00-5.30, €66.66 (yes), presale at Diep, Getaway, Brix and AUB. Superstijl It’s your party and you can pick the music you want to, way out in Amsterdam West tonight. Party crowd democracy wins over DJ dictatorship: every 15 minutes, the audience will determine which music style they

Trailer Trash Gypsy Circus Spectacularly trashy entertainment for all five senses is being offered by this Gypsythemed rock ’n’ roll extravaganza at Westergasfabriek. Fire-eaters! Party Polka! Strong liquor! Knife throwers!

Bearded ladies! Balkan beats! And, for all you conservatives out there: Champagne!

So, paint on a ’tache, hurl that glass over your shoulder, shout ‘Yihaaa!’ and get ready to go as wild as you can.

Pacific Parc and Zuiveringshal, Westergasfabriek, Haarlemmerweg 8-10, 22.00-6.00, €37.50, presale at Pacific Parc.

Wax New Year’s Eve Party BG is the place to be for all hiphopheads, when the late Mazzo’s monthly party WAX returns for one night only. Expect classic hiphop tunes as well as some soul, funk, dancehall and grime. Eclecto-hopper Killahman kicks off the celebrations, followed by some funky stuff supplied by DJ Lovesupreme. The dancefloor dancehall madness continues with DJ Abstract and culminates when new project KINGS takes over the decks.

BG, Oosterdokskade 3, 23.00-5.00, €35 presale/€45 door, presale at Boudisque, Fat Beats, Pico and AUB. WickedJazzSounds At Sugar Factory, the town’s favourite Sunday all-nighter will funk you into the New Year when DJs together with live musicians burn down the house with their mix of jazz, hiphop, soul, house, broken-beat and drum ’n’ bass. The audience here is usually as mixed as the musical styles, so expect all kinds of fun people uniting in a fantastic vibe.

Sugar Factory, Lijnbaansgracht 238, 22.00-5.00, €35, presale at Studio Korte Leidse 12, Concerto, Killa Cutz, AUB and post offices.

SLEAZEFEST PARTICIPANTS TOP 6 SLEAZY MOMENTS OF 2006

THE NACHTBURGEMEESTER’S TOP 10 NIGHTLIFE HIGHLIGHTS OF 2006

By Mark Wedin

By Chiel van Zelst

Claudia Hek: At my engagement party at the Maloe Melo, I stood half naked on stage with White Cowbell Oklahoma and got my ass spanked by two of the guitar players.

Stilettos: Putting your dick away after you’ve taken a leak, only to feel some more piss come out, leaving a warm & wet stain for the next 15 minutes or so.

DJ Bone: Coming to my senses in the gutter in the Pamplona mini-San Fermin after a 34-hour bender not knowing how I got there. Walked around aimlessly for an hour, decided to sleep on a park bench, only to be awakened by two junkies asking me if I was alright and if I wanted to buy cocaine with them, which I thanked them for as I returned to my park bench only to be awakened by the delightful Basque rain... It sure felt pretty sleazy.

Saskia Rocks!: Drinking pastis and broccoli soup at Remco and Jeroen’s house while Kiki, of Malle Pietje and the Bimbos, did a rendition of her solo songs on a stray guitar.

DJ DaanModern: I got a stain of red wine on my pink petticoat while DJing at the ‘vomit bar’ in Antwerp.

Pedro Delgados: At the Cuyp Studios, we had been drinking a lot and decided to make smoothies with alcohol, but we had no yoghurt or cream.

So we mixed bourbon and mayonnaise. Pretty greasy. But we drank it.

Sleazefest, 23 Dec, 20.00, OCCII, Amstelveenseweg 134, €6.66.

10. Rembrandt sculptures on Rembrandtplein getting beheaded.

9. The opening of new night bar Flex on the Westergasterrein. Rock on!

This place is open until 5 a.m.!

8. The realisation of a five-year guaranteed mooring place for floating cultural platform Stubnitz at NDSM. And again: it’s open until 5 a.m. on weekends.

7. The one bummer of the year that makes you want to keep fighting: rock ’n’ roll cafe De Diepte lost its liquor licence. In other words: it got closed. ‘They ripped out the heart of rock ’n’ roll,’ said zZz’s Bjorn Otterheim. Oh well: U can’t win ’em all.

6. ERRorKREW wins Prix de Nuit with a bakfiets-rave in Paradiso.

5. Chinese restaurant Golden Chopsticks on Damstraat gets a licence to serve food and drinks until 3 a.m. on weekends. NYC, eat your heart out!

4. Job Cohen hits on Dikke Charles, the red light boss. Ban the hookers and dim the lights, but what’s going to happen to all those empty windows next year? Student housing? Broedplaatsen? Snack Art? 3. The way the lights of the Magerebrug reflect on the Amstel.

2. Those introspective ferry rides back from Noord in the dead of night.

1. The Awakenings New Year’s party got cancelled. Who cares? Poppin’ pills is so last season anyway.

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Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

Babyshambles, see Wednesday 3 January

MUSIC Send listing suggestions at least two weeks in advance to agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl

Thursday 21 December Hiphop: The Game When not tossing handbags at 50 Cent—and others—The Game is one of the main driving forces of the West Coast hiphop scene. Having recently released Doctor’s Advocate to critical acclaim, he’s arriving in town on a high. The question is, once he takes to the stage, will he spend the night laying down vitriolic raps about Ali B? Heineken Music Hall, 20.00, €38 Classical: Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra Performing Mozart’s Symphony No.33 in B Flat and Beethoven’s Symphony No.9 in D; conducted by Mariss Jansons. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.15, €55 Blues: Scott H Biram Spirited country blues with a side serving of punk attitude. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.30, €7.50 + membership Latin/Jazz: Sensuàl Brazilian pop jazz, mixing samba, pop, dance and jazz. See Short List. Badcuyp, Bovenzaal, 20.30, €8 Electro rock: Robotrock Indie to dance to and electro to rock out to; provided by TomCat and Arafatt. Winston Kingdom, 21.00, €5 Rock: The Nits Legendary Dutch art rockers who keep rolling on and on and on. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 21.00, €20 + membership Jazz: Yaron Herman Inspired by Jarrett, Bley, Coltrane and Tristano, alongside traditional Israeli music and more contemporary pop, this young pianist has already taken France by storm. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Pop/Rock: Freak-a-Dell, Dox Pop, funk and melodic guitar music. Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 21.30, €5 Pop/Rock: Flex YourSpace Synth pop meets rock ’n’ roll in this set by the MeloManics. Flex Bar, 22.00, €5

Sukilove Singer-songwriter: Sukilove Sitting on the incestuous Belgian indie rock conveyor belt, Sukilove began as the pretty acoustic project of songwriter Pascal Deweze.

Over the last few years it’s morphed into a twangy country concept, and now into a more traditional rock band selling big melodic hooks—imagine the noisi-

ness of Sebadoh with the harmonies of The Posies.

Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.30, €7.50 + membership

Friday 22 December Classical: Lunch Concert Featuring students from the Conservatorium van Amsterdam. Bethaniënklooster, 12.30, free Pop: White Christmas If the sound of all the classic Christmas numbers playing in stores hasn’t got you shedding tears of blood yet, then maybe White Christmas is actually for you. With an orchestra joined by vocal guests like Syb van der Ploeg, Chaira Borderslee, Tony Neef and Antje Monteiro, it’s a sing-a-long occasion mixing upbeat pop favourites with pure winter schmaltz. Heineken Music Hall, 20.00, €17.50-€42.50 Classical: English Baroque Soloists Bach’s Christmas cantatas; conducted by Sir John Eliot Gardiner.

Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.15, €42.50/€50 Pop: The Human League ‘Don’t You Want Me?’ Phil Oakey and his now retro synth pop outfit better hope so, or they’ll be playing to themselves for two nights.

Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €20 + membership Blues: Erik Vandenberge & His Crappy Dogs Rough and ready folk blues. Winston Kingdom, 21.00, €5 Jazz: Philip Catherine Trio Renowned Belgian guitarist who’s been prominent in the jazz scene for 40 years. Bimhuis, 21.00, €16 Reggae: Luie Hond Nederlandstalige reggae and ska to chase away any winter blues. Melkweg, 21.30, €10 + membership Rock: Nuff Said Energetic power trio who earlier this year won the Kink FM LiveXS award for best Dutch live act. Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €5 Rock: Ramones Tribute A New York punk party featuring sets from a selection of guest performers. Maloe Melo, 22.00, €5 Jazz: Sinas Eight-piece ensemble specialising in fully live and dance-friendly Afro-Latin jazz. Badcuyp, Bovenzaal, 22.30, €8

Saturday 23 December Rock: The Clash of the Cover Bands The Noord-Holland regional final. Mixed rock and blues covers seem to be the norm for tonight, although Amsterdam’s Elvis tribute The Suspicious Minds could at least be good for a laugh. Melkweg, 19.30, €12.50 + membership Classical: Weihnachts-Oratorium Bach’s collection of cantatas, which after being repackaged in 1734 with a Christmas theme, have remained as one of the most popular seasonal classics. Performed by Combattimento Consort and Cappella Amsterdam.

Muziekgebouw, 19.30, €32 Rock: Sleazefest The sleaziest rock ’n’ roll this side of Lapland. See Short List. OCCII, 20.00, €6.66 Pop: White Christmas (See 22 December) Heineken Music Hall, 20.00, €17.50-€42.50 Classical: Nederlands Kodály Koor Vocal works by Fauré and Flothuis, and Christmas carols by Massenet

21 December 2006-3 January 2007 and Britten, so glug down some glühwein and revel in the holiday spirit. Bethaniënklooster, 20.15, €12.50 Classical: Ralph Meulenbroeks A solo viola da gamba performance, featuring works by Marin Marais, Antoine Forqueray, KF Abel, Tobias Hume and Louis de Caix d’Hervelois. English Reformed Church, 20.15, €15 Classical: Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra Performing Kodály’s Psalmus Hungaricus and Beethoven’s Symphony No.9 in D. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.15, €45-€60 Pop: The Human League (See 22 December) Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €20 + membership Rock: Christmas Stomp An annual event hosted by The Chimney Brothers—conspicuous in their absence tonight. Instead expect sets from Aux Raus (gabber punk), The Allegro’s (rock ’n’ roll), De Nieuwe Vrolijkheid (experimental pop) and Jack Molton Distortion (garage rock). OT301, 21.00, €6 Latin/Jazz: Michael Simon & Roots United Led by Venezuelan trumpeter Simon, who’s known for his roles in both Fra Fra Sound and the groups of Gerardo Rosales, Roots United offer a contemporary treatment to the traditions of Latin jazz. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Blues: The Maloe Melo All Stars A night of the blues featuring Maloe Melo regulars. Maloe Melo, 22.00, €5

Sunday 24 December Contemporary: Mauricio Kagel’s Birthday Party Mauricio Kagel, the world-famous composer of theatrical, provocative and hilarious music turns 75 today.

Marking the occasion, the Schönberg Ensemble will celebrate the whole day long, with four concerts, films, activities for children and a special Kagel Birthday Buffet. Kagel will conduct two works himself, sing, sign CDs and cut the birthday cake during dinner.

Muziekgebouw, 11.00, 14.00, 16.00, 20.30, €36 for morning and afternoon, €40 for afternoon and evening, €44 all-day ticket World: Hafla Anissa A festival curated by women for women. Moroccan music is the dominant factor in this programme, but there’s also extras, like a fashion show. Paradiso, 13.30, €17.50 + membership Pop: White Christmas (See 22 December) Heineken Music Hall, 14.00, €17.50-€42.50 Jazz: Mood Indigo, Aquarius Trio Jazz meets classical with Mood Indigo and the Aquarius Trio. Club 8, 16.00, €10 Rock: De Zinderende Kerstavondshow! A diverse affair that kicks off with a rock ’n’ roll party from the new generation, with live sets from De Boogie Parkers and De Siems. A variety show from duo Starla is thrown in for good measure, and as night turns to morning, Spliff Tail Posse will be providing an authentic Jamaican dancehall set. Pacific Parc, 20.00, free Singer-songwriter: Jodymoon Radio-friendly Dutch pop from the Maastricht duo, consisting of Digna Janssen and Johan Smeets. KHL Koffiehuis, 20.30, €5 Hiphop: Fatbeats & Friends: Rock The Mic Fatbeats’ Amsterdam store is 10 years old. Celebrating their mantle as the best place in town to pick up your hiphop articles, they’re throwing a party to celebrate, and doing it in style by taking over the whole Melkweg.

Special guests include Shami the Rhymestein (L.A.C. Los Angeles), Nosa & Rosco (Fatbeats Records), Alpha the Family First & Family, Mike Tibbert (VSOP) and El Rod Colombo (The Proov). While the DJ list stretches on and on, there’s also open mics, MC battles, breakdancing and beyond. Melkweg, 21.00, €15 + membership

Amsterdam Weekly Jazz: X-Mas Dash A funky reworking of ‘We Three Kings of Orient Are’ by Maarten Ornstein’s DASH! Bimhuis, 22.00, €18

Monday 25 December Pop: White Christmas (See 22 December) Heineken Music Hall, 14.00, €17.50-€42.50 Classical: Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra (See 23 December) Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 14.15, €45-€60

Tuesday 26 December Classical: Don KosakenChor Russland Traditional festive music from the Russian-Orthodox liturgy, backed by the Moscow Festival Ensemble. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 14.15, €28.50 Classical: Anna Fedorova A remarkable young pianist from Ukraine, performing works by Chopin.

Muziekgebouw, 15.00, €25 Heavy: Sodom, Finntroll Nothing says Christmas like German thrash legends. Classic Sodom song titles include ‘Agent Orange’, ‘Napalm in the Morning’, ‘Eat Me!’ and ‘The Saw is the Law’, so you know you’re in for a festive treat. And then there’s Finntroll, who take the traditional twin guitar black metal assault and throw in Finnish polka folk and goblins. It sure beats sitting around watching TV on tweede kerstdag. Melkweg, 19.30, €17 + membership Rock: Drive By Wire Fuzzy indie rock trio from Deventer fronted by former Telefunk member Simone Holsbeek. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €5 + membership Rock: Das Aldi Combo Organ grinding rock ’n’ roll.

Pacific Parc, 22.00, free Electronica: Audio Bullys ‘Alwight guv’nor! Come dance with us on the beach.’ See Short List. The Sand, 23.00, €45

Wednesday 27 December Classical: Lunch Concert With the Holland Symfonia; conducted by Rolf Gupta. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 12.30, free Jazz: Sean Bergin’s Mob & Song Mob Sax player Bergin returns with a full complement for yet another African adventure, bringing the passion and rhythmic vitality of South African music into the European jazz scene. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Electronica: Sonic Warfare Dubstep was the big thing to emerge from London and other English pockets over the last year or two. Still relatively fresh, the distant cousin of the UK garage scene has particularly taken off in Amsterdam and Rotterdam, and a crowded night in Melkweg is only set to prove the point.

Featuring sets from three of the biggest UK dubstep names: Digital Mystikz, Skream and Loefah, it also marks one of the biggest shows by Amsterdam crew U Dub. Melkweg, 22.00, €12 + membership Festival: Tangomagia Opening of the 9th international tango festival. See Short List. Hotel Arena, 22.00, €26, €100 festival pass Electronica: Transmission Debauched rave-noir from Ravage! Ravage! plus murderous electro breaks from Yobkiss. Studio 80, 22.00, €5

Thursday 28 December Hiphop: Adrenaline Tour 2006 Featuring sets from

U-Niq, Winne, A&C, Feis and Milz. Melkweg, 20.30, €12 + membership Rock: Backfire! Rough and tumble sets from Malle Pietje & The Bimbo’s, Dominatör and afterwards, some electro rockin’ from Aux Raus. Winston Kingdom, 20.30, €5 Contemporary: Calefax Reed Quintet Ode aan de vrouw: a programme ranging from 14th-century balladry to contemporary visions of man’s dependence on and desire for women. With works by Gesualdo Beltà, Jean Philippe Rameau, Debussy, Ellington and others. Muziekgebouw, 20.30, €17.50 Jazz: Zakarya, Der Rote Bereich Led by renowned accordionist Yves Weyh, Zakarya are one of the best avant-klezmer ensembles in Europe. And with furious energy and original compositions, Berlin’s Der Rote Bereicht have achieved worldwide cult status with their antithesis of conventional jazz. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Pop/Rock: Dutch Delight Stacey Records presents three sets from upcoming Dutch talents. Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €5 Festival: Tangomagia With Rubén and Sabrina Véliz.

See Short List. Hotel Arena, 22.00, €26, €100 festival pass

Friday 29 December Hiphop/R&B: BO! Showcases & Open Mic A residual effect of the Blacksoil film festival, today’s programme mixes music and film. Aside from screenings and the open mic segments, Blaxtar will headline. Grolsch Music Café, 16.00, €7.50, €5 after 20.00 Chanson: Wende Snijders Theatrical contemporary international pop, with special guest Huub van der Lubbe. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 19.30, €20 + membership Festival: Tangomagia Featuring the ensemble Orquesta Tipica Silencio. Salon follows at 22.00. See Short List. Muziekgebouw, 20.30, €20-€41.50, €100 festival pass Pop: Dox Family Night New and fresh artists from the Dox Records family tree. Performers include Wouter Hamel, De Toffen and Dean Tippet, and alongside a barrage of special surprises, the Easy Aloha’s will be hosting and DJing. Sugar Factory, 21.00, €9 Jazz: Jesse van Ruller & Bert van den Brink A melodic collaboration between the guitarist and pianist. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Rock: Meindert Talma & The Negroes Raw American folk traditions from Harry Smith’s Anthology of American Folk Music, reworked and warped by the Groningse songwriter in this presentation for his new album Nu geloof ik wat er in de bijbel staat. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 21.00, €7.50 + membership Rock: Blue Moon Special Jumpin’ and jivin’ rock ’n’ roll. Maloe Melo, 22.00, €5 Punk: The Riplets A fairly rare rip-roaring live show from the Rotterdam punker pop grrrls. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.30, €6 + membership

Saturday 30 December Jazz: Carte Blance Han Buhrs Vocalist Buhrs leads two sets tonight. One is a more traditional performance as Trio Baars, Mengelberg, Buhrs, which is enough to tantalise any Bimhuis regular. In the other set, rock musical clashes with contemporary classical

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Free tickets!

Go to www.amsterdamweekly.nl and click on off the wall logo to win tickets to one of these nightlife events. To advertise your club night or concert, contact Todd Savage at 020 522 5200 or todd@amsterdamweekly.nl. The next page appears on 31 January.

21 December 2006-3 January 2007 and improv jazz, with Buhrs being joined by singer Tatiana Koleva, guitarist René van Barneveld and bassist Luc Ex. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Rock: Restless This English rockabilly trio have been on the scene now for nearly 27 years, but they’re finally winding down. This Cruise Inn appearance marks their last ever show in mainland Europe. Support from El Rio Trio. Cruise Inn, 21.00, €15

Amsterdam Weekly

CLUBS Thursday 21 December Poptrash Three decades’ worth of rock, electro and hiphop with The Punchout DJs. Melkweg, 23.00, €4 Vreemd Outlandish electro and live performances.

Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €8.99 Dirty Disco Space disco madness with Gstring and Funknoir. Studio 80, 23.00-late, €5

Friday 22 December

The Pedro Delgados Bluegrass: The Pedro Delgados Hillbilly bluegrass from Amsterdam. KHL Koffiehuis, 21.30 Pop: De Smartlappen Karaoke! Relive and reinterpret the traditional Hollandse music repertoire—if you dare. Oldies by André Hazes, Willy Alberti, Johnny Jordaan and Tante Leen are just some of the songs being dusted off tonight. Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €5 Festival: Tangomagia Live music by Quinteto Zárate.

See Short List. De Duif, 22.00, €30, €100 festival pass

Sunday 31 December Classical: New Year’s Concert A traditional New Year’s performance by the Nederlands Blazers Ensemble. Just don’t tell anyone involved that 2007 actually starts tomorrow. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 15.00, €18 Rock: Arthur Ebeling & Peter Wassenaar A rockabilly and Ray Charles style performance from guitarist/singer Arthur Ebeling, backed by bassist Wassenaar. KHL Koffiehuis, 20.30, €5 Jazz: Refavela A benefit for those living in the favelas of São Paulo. Theatergroep Flint presents excerpts from ’n Pikketanissie and Korreltjie, Korreltjie Sand, Simon Nabatov offers parts from his programme Around Brazil, and other guests include Joanna McGregor, Georg Gräwe, Larissa Groeneveld, Wolter Wierbos, Alan Purves, Franky Douglas, Wilbert Joode, Maarten van Roozendaal, IKKI and Martin Fondse.

Bimhuis, 20.30, €35 Rock: The Presidents of the United States of America What’s not to love about PUSA? Comedy rocking with peaches, kitties and postmen, these guys built a career on being funny, and believe me, they still are.

But there are more strings to their bow than on their guitars. So imagine all that quirky goodness bundled into a New Year package with Dans Le Rock, Robotrock DJs, Ameezing Clash and even more live music. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 21.00, €45 Rock: Amsterdam Beat Club Four bands, two bars, two DJ booths and enough alcohol to see you into 2008. Live bands include T-99, The Anacondas, The 69-ers and The West Hell Three Plus Two. Maloe Melo, 22.00, €25 Rock: Sixtyniners Ringing in the new year with copious amounts of alcohol, country rock, punk and rockabilly. KHL Koffiehuis, 23.59, €10 presale, €12.50 door price

Monday 1January Classical: New Year’s Concert A traditional New Year’s performance by the Nederlands Blazers Ensemble with the theme ‘paradise’. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 13.15, €22.95-€27

Electronation A Christmas special with Electronation favourites: Pablo Lamberti, Generik, Groove Addicts, Dax vs. Clockwork, Terry Toner and Mason. Bitterzoet, 22.00-04.00, €10 Penis in Vagina An indie disco rave party with the Snob! DJ Team, Arien Intifada Soundsystem, Fade Out Fred and a live set from anarchic London electro punks Lost Penguin. Club 8, 22.00-04.00, €5 ¿Que Pasa? Latin-crossover night with reggae, folk, ska, punk and mestizo. Melkweg, 23.00, €7 + membership Appelsap Kerstspecial A fruity mix of hiphop goodness from the Appelsap regulars. Melkweg, 23.00-late, €12.50 + membership Moskow Disko An imaginary Moscow discotheque filled with exotic, thrilling and teasing airs. Sugar Factory, 23.30-05.00, €12

Saturday 23 December OntFront: Blazin(Jingle)Bell Edition Hiphop and pure soul with Edzon, Broky B, Sam, Levano and Mars.

Bitterzoet, 21.00-04.00, €5 Origins Old school hiphop and booty-friendly breaks.

Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €5 Girls Love DJs An eclectic mix of DJ favourites with Missinglinks & Rubywax, The Flexican, Mr Speak and many more. Hotel Arena, 23.00-04.00, €15 Blacktro II Raw, mean and funky electro. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €15 Passion Club house and electro from We-be-1 and Borntofunk. Odeon, 23.00-05.00, €10 Superstar With Lucien Foort, (Nul33) Sidney Samson & Tony Cha Cha, Brian S and Dekky. The Powerzone, 23.00-05.00, €15 ADHD Underground electro and techno sessions with Alex Bau, Vincent de Wit, Dia.Chro.na, Recovery Sounds, Tim Nieburg and Wouter de Moor. Studio 80, 23.00-late, €7.50 Crossfader Final Edition Hiphop and dancehall favourites for the very last time. Melkweg, 23.59, €10 + membership Dance Arena Alternative dance, pop and rock. Melkweg, 23.59, €7 + membership

Sunday 24 December HushHush Disco, eclectic and house with Lars Dales, Joshua Walter and Rubywax. Jimmy Woo, 22.0003.00, €8 Sappig! Eclectic house from Benny Rodrigues, Lucien Foort, Victor Coral and guests. Hotel Arena, 22.0004.00, €20 Old Skool Rush Raw urban house from Lucien Foort, Victor Coral and other guests. Panama, 23.00-05.00, €15 WickedJazzSounds Jazz, hiphop, broken beats, nujazz, funk and Afro sounds, as classic vinyl collides with live musicians. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €8.50

Wednesday 3 January Pop/Rock: 3xLive A trio of melodic rock sets from locals Theux, Boilersuit and Satellite 7. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €5 + membership Rock: Babyshambles Kinda like how NORAD tracks Santa each year, 3voor12 tracks Pete Doherty when he’s due in Holland. If you’ve been bold enough to buy tickets in advance, good luck to you. Patronaat, Haarlem, 20.30, €17.50 World: New Year’s Concert Featuring the duo Yuri Lemeshev (of Gogol Bordello) and Pamelia Kurstin (of Barbez), and a solo set from virtuoso balalaika player Alexei Arkhipovsky. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14

Monday 25 December Cheeky Monday Drum & bass and jungle night. Winston Kingdom, 21.00-03.00, €6 A White(ish) Christmas Christmas beats and grooves with DJ Alec Smart. Sugar Factory, 22.0004.00, €10

Tuesday 26 December Armada With birthday boy, Armin van Buuren. Panama, 22.00-03.00, €25

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Free tickets!

Go to www.amsterdamweekly.nl and click on off the wall logo to win tickets to one of these nightlife events. To advertise your club night or concert, contact Todd Savage at 020 522 5200 or todd@amsterdamweekly.nl. The next page appears on 31 January.

21 December 2006-3 January 2007 The Power Zone: 6 Years Anniversary With Roog, Benny Rodrigues, Ricky Rivaro and Chris Rox. The Powerzone, 23.00-06.00, €12.50 Electric Xmas Featuring The Heels (live), DJ De Nachtzuster, Martijn (Black Box), DJ Trashling (Disco Hospital), Prosumer (Berlin) and more. Studio 80, 23.00-late, €6

Wednesday 27 December Cold Turkey The best indie, electro and hiphop tunes from 2006. Melkweg, 23.00-late, €6

Thursday 28 December Vreemd (See 21 December) Sugar Factory, 01.0005.00, €8.99 Poptrash (See 21 December) Melkweg, 23.00, €4 Kortsluiting With Nuno Dos Santos, Eva Maria, Kabale Und Liebe, Pablo Lamberti and the Groove Addicts.

Studio 80, 23.00-late, €5

Friday 29 December Jack Trax Old school house, disco, Italo and electrofunk. Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €5 Wanted Now Soulful and funky house from DJs Dave Mayer & Xavi, Jade, Jason and Jerven. Hotel Arena, 22.00-04.00, €8 Club 8 Spin Off Party With Plan West, Ground Sound and Headroom. Club 8, 23.00-04.00, €5 Rush A Back2back Mixed-Beats Edition with DJs Brian S, The Flexican, Jaziah, Cream, Victor Coral and O.Boogie. Panama, 23.00-05.00, €15 Stir Fry Nu-Latin, disco and funk. Odeon, 23.0005.00, €10 Kindred Spirits Countdown With DJs Rednose, Antal, Tom Trago, Live La Melodia and Quiet Storm. Paradiso, 23.59-05.00, €10

Amsterdam Weekly Infrarouge Electro disco with guest DJ Dexter. Odeon, 23.00-05.00, €10 Rex A final Electronation farewell to 2006 with one of the most exciting artists of the year, Gabriel Ananda, who brings an entirely fresh take on techno to the table. Also with a live set from Edo Van Asseldonk and DJs Terry Toner and Pablo Lamberti. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €15

formers—including live gypsy and metal sets— exploiting the theme to the full, expect blazing DJ sets from Joost van Bellen, Pierre, Tommi and MPS Pilot. TT Vasumweg 131, 21.30-05.30, €66.66

Fragile Breaks With DJs Philippo, Rombout, Arrow, Hepcat, Dennis Hupla, DikkieD, MNO and Meneer de Beer. Studio 80, 23.00-late, €5 Jamrock Explosion Hard-hitting reggae and hiphop as Amo-Lab signings Lyrical present their new CD. With DJs Waxfiend, MBA, Jah and MC Shyrock. Paradiso, 23.59-05.00, €15

Sunday 31 December Sin City Lust, gluttony, greed, laziness, wrath, envy and pride. All your favourite sins can be found on Warmoestraat, but it’s magnified tonight with champagne, cocktails, black jack, karaoke and candy.

Winston Kingdom, 0.30-late, €25 eRRorKREW They won the Prix de Nuit 2006, but will they win the race for your New Year party custom? Expect acid, house and techno from the eRRorKREW residents, some special guests and a dash of creativity. Studio 80, 00.30-late, €22.50 Oudejaarsavond With Lupe, Sandrien, The Walk & RogerSeventyTwo, Tom Trago, DZN and PR Soundsystem. Flex Bar, 01.00-late, €20 Arrival ’07 With two arenas featuring sets from the likes of Dr Lektroluv, Fedde le Grand, Jaziah, Victor Coral, Marcello, Dimitri and 100% Isis. Passenger Terminal Amsterdam, 20.00-04.00, €55 Casino Royale A Bond themed dance party with Goodgrip, The Swingkings, Robert Feelgood, Timothy Watt and more. The Mansion, 21.00-06.00, €30 A Brand New Year 2006 With star turns from Roger Sanchez (US), Joey Negro (UK), Roog and Marnix.

Westergasfabriek, 21.00-07.00, €60

Saturday 30 December

Qrime Time Hardstyle dance event split into three DJ rooms. Heineken Music Hall, 21.00-07.00, €42.50

Static With Bart Skils, Daniel Bell and Polder. 11, 22.00-04.00, €10

Dracul A theatrical dance concept inspired by the mythology of Dracula. Along with actors and live per-

19 Soigné A Champagne Society event featuring DJs Dekky, Bryan Dalton, La Nina, Fedor Limjoco, Denniz and more. The Zebra, 22.00-late, €20 The New Year Show It’s all about showmanship at Hotel Arena. Alongside music from the Disctwins, Lacroix, Funkerman and Frederik Abas, there’ll be Dancing With the Stars, a dating show, a honeymoon show and other surprises. Hotel Arena, 22.00-late, €50 Gloss With DJs Sharam Jey, Laidback Luke, Ricky Rivaro, Leroy Styles, Denniz, Virgil Reality and Issie Star. The Powerzone, 23.00-05.00, €30

Joost van Bellen (Dracul) Putsch With Herr Arter, Eva Maria, Richard Parker, Ramchez, Pep and a special guest from Berlin. NDSMwerf, 21.30-07.00, €25

WickedJazzSounds Dance yourself silly into 2007 with that WickedJazzSounds mash up of jazz, hiphop and broken beats—classic vinyl reborn with the aid of a live crew. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €35 NYE 2006 A Cannes party hosted by French celebrity Gilles Jacobs. With music from Dennis Christopher, Steven Quarré (Hed Kandi) and Born To Funk. Supperclub Cruise, 23.00-late, €95

Glam City Contemporary house and some retro favourites are on the menu, as are some free drinks— well, it’s not really free, is it? As you’d guess from the title, it’s all about unleashing your glamorous persona.

Odeon, 22.00-05.00, €95 New Year’s Ball With Rishi Romero, Philip Young, Suzie Cue, Lucky Charmes, Moska, Dekky, Royalistic, Mea Culpa, Sunnery James, Ryan Marciano, Jay-B, Fanny West, Spark and Way. Sinners, 22.0005.00, €35 Geisha: Tempted by Tradition A sophisticated but costly New Year option, promising live music, dance and theatre performances—the latter directed by Miyamoto Musashi. There’s even a fashion show set to unleash some Japanese mystique. The dress code for men is ‘dark and dashing’, while women are recommended to appear like a ‘mysterious goddess’.

Beurs van Berlage, 22.00-06.00, €97.50 Superstijl Kicking off with the Superstijl pop quiz, the musical course of the evening can be guided by the audience. Club 8, 22.00-06.00, €30 Trailer Trash: Gypsy Circus Balkan beats, gypsy punk, polka, ska, cumbia, salsa and rock ’n’ roll.

Throw in some toothless carnies breathing fire or walking on their hands all night and you have this year’s most bizarre experience to be catapulted into 2007 with. Pacific Parc, 22.00-06.00, €37.50

zZz (Oud & Nieuw) Oud & Nieuw A party for music lovers of all styles.

Organ rockers zZz will be blazing their rock ’n’ roll trail, while a line of DJs—including Sandrien, ONNO, Punchout DJ’s, Arnold, MPS Pilot and others—will be serving up a diverse array of party tunes. Melkweg, 22.00-late, €40

Monday 1January 1+1 Noodlanding! €1 per beer. There might even be some music. Paradiso, 23.00-05.00, €1

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

GAY& LESBIAN Thursday 21 December CliQue Dancing—for free!—on a Thursday night. DJ No 5 plays electro, classic ’80s and funky techno. With lounge, fashion catwalk and a happy hour from 01:00 until 02:00. Exit, 00.00-04.00, free GLU party Lesbian flicks picked by GLU magazine. Live music and DJs after the screenings . See Short List. 11, 21.00, free

Friday 22 December Twisted Tunes Tonight, DJ Bo is the selecta. PRIK, 22.00-03.00, free

New Year Party Special New Year Party. Start 2007 with a big bang at the the multi-storey nightclub.

Champagne available by the glass. Exit, 00.00-05.00 New Year’s Eve Party Starting in the afternoon and going on late into the night—and early into next year—the premier Jordaan lesbian party dishes up different DJs, dancing in the basement, fireworks and more. Saarein, 12.00-late Double Bubble Happy Hour DJ No 5 gets the party rolling. A heady mix of dance classics, theme tunes, disco and cheap happy hour booze ensures that many punters will stay until 03.00. Especially since there’s Champagne by the glass. April, 18.00-20.00, free

Sunday 24 December Double Bubble Happy Hour DJ No 5 plays dance classics, TV tunes, Dutch pop and disco at this popular happy hour. April, 18.00-20.00, free Chicks with Dicks The drag troupe present KerstKlokkenSpel, a cross-dressing Christmas extravanganza brought to you by Coco Coquette and Jet Lag, with help on the singing, dancing and cabaret front from their TV diva friends. Winston Kingdom, 20.00, €10 Xmas Night Happy Hour Your insurance that Christmas Eve will be very merry: beer at just €1 a pop.

Saarein, 20.00-22.00, Live Jazz en Soul A gentle wind-down to the weekend. Soho, 20.30, free Prikmass Eve Party DJ Gina is on the decks and there’s a special performance from, er, a singing Christmas tree. PRIK, 21.00-late, free

Tuesday 26 December AbFabulous Prikmassparty Patsy and Edina are on the big screen from 16.00, and the party goes on deep into the night. PRIK, 16.00-late, free

Friday 29 December Pre-2007 Warm-up Party Festive cocktails, sexy crowd, finger titbits and good ol’ Getto cheer. Special guest DJ Eric KandÉ. Getto, 22.00, free Twisted Club Tunes An altogether clubbier incarnation of the Friday night regular, with DJ Lestat alias Moreno. PRIK, 22.00-03.00, free

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 20.00, €29-€55

Live Jazz en Soul Calm down then wind up again with Sophie and Pieter’s smooth jazz. Soho, 20.30, free

Saturday 23 December

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 20.00, €29-€55

Oud en nieuwparty With DJs, oliebollen and Champagne. Custom Café Sugar, 22.00-03.00, free Sparkling Prik Party DJ Nookie plays classics and electrics. White and pink bubbles for an eminently quaffable €3 a glass. PRIK, 22.00-03.00, free

Monday 1January New Prik’s Day The bar is specially opened for a nice New Year borrel. PRIK, 16.00-01.00, free

Ballet: Nutcracker & Mouse King During the Christmas season Het Nationale Ballet dances the fairy-tale ballet Nutcracker & Mouse King. A festive staple, the old favourite is given a Dutch twist in this interpretation

by Wayne Eagling and Toer van Schayk, playing out the story in an Amsterdam canal-house around 1810. No matter the setting, audiences love the music by Tchaikovsky. Het Muziektheater, 14.00, 20.15, €20-€50 Cabaret: Blue Man Group Their group is blue, bonkers and bamboozling Amsterdam with their antics. See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 16.00, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50

New Year’s Day Special Start where you left off—or carry on, if you haven’t stopped yet—with the Happy New Year happy hour from 5 p.m. to 6 p.m. Amstel Taveerne, 17.00,

Wednesday 3 January F*cking POP Queers and Artlaunch Cafe Unambiguous disco. See Short List. Studio 80, 23.00-late, free before 0.00, then €5

STAGE

Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50

Friday 29 December Theatre: Hallo Maria (See 26 December) Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10 Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 16.00, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50 Theatre: Platonov (See 27 December) Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €11.50-€22.50

Ballet: Nutcracker & Mouse King (See 23 December) Het Muziektheater, 20.15, €20-€50 LPDPN Theatre: LPDPN: Over zolen die maar niet slijten willen (See 21 December) Ostadetheater, 17.30, 20.30, €12/€30 incl dinner

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: The Nutcracker (See 22 December) RAI, 20.00, €29-€55 Music/Theatre: Waanzin: Het Syndicaat (See 21 December) Het Rozentheater, 20.00, €12.50

Thursday 21 December

Music/Theatre: Het Zilvermeer (See 21 December) De Engelenbak, 20.30, €11

Theatre: LPDPN: Met de Helm op Part of a mini-festival by theatre group La Pralinette de Papa Nugue. See www.lpdpn.nl for full schedule. In Dutch. Ostadetheater, 17.30, 20.30, €12/€30 incl dinner

Music/Theatre: Ladies First: The Whole Shebang See Short List. Sugar Factory, 22.00, €12.50

Sunday 24 December Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: The Nutcracker (See 22 December) RAI, 15.00, €29-€55 Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 19.00, €19.50-€49.50 Music/Theatre: Ladies First: The Whole Shebang See Short List. Sugar Factory, 20.00, €12.50 Scènes uit een huwelijk

Theatre: Platonov (See 27 December) Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €11.50-€22.50

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 20.00, €29-€55

Theatre: Scènes uit een huwelijk (See 21 December) Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €25

Performance: Jango Edwards & Friends Roadshow The first of two final shows from the legendary hippy clown. Tonight he presents a musical reunion of the Little Big Nose Band, performing greatest hits like ‘Sweet If I Was A Bicycle Seat’ alongside new works. See article on p. 5. Melkweg, 21.00, €22 + membership

Saturday 30 December Ballet: Nutcracker & Mouse King (See 23 December) Het Muziektheater, 14.00, 20.15, €20-€50 Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 16.00, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50 Theatre: Platonov (See 27 December) Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €11.50-€22.50 Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 20.00, €29-€55 Performance: Jango & Sons Tonight the hippy clown is joined by his two sons and special guests.

See article on p. 5. Melkweg, 21.00, €22 + membership

Sunday 31 December Theatre: Hallo Maria (See 26 December) Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10

Monday 25 December

Ballet: Nutcracker & Mouse King (See 23 December) Het Muziektheater, 14.00, €20-€50

Theatre: Scènes uit een huwelijk A stage adaptation of Ingmar Bergman’s mini-series/film Scenes From a Marriage, about a married couple—Marianne and Johan—whose relationship slowly disintegrates into divorce. In Dutch. Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €25

Music/Theatre: Ladies First: The Whole Shebang See Short List. Sugar Factory, 14.00, €12.50

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 15.00, €29-€55

Music/Theatre: Ladies First: The Whole Shebang A special Christmas show, including sweet angels, German divas, lipstick, matches, sheep, and maybe also an exploding turkey. See Short List. Sugar Factory, 20.00, €12.50

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: The Nutcracker (See 22 December) RAI, 15.00, €29-€55

Music/Theatre: Waanzin: Het Syndicaat Who do you trust to save your soul? A friend? A medium? A personal trainer? Waanzin is a musical performance about faith, hope, and friendship. In Dutch. Het Rozentheater, 20.00, €12.50

Theatre: Hallo Maria Experience some family harmony at Christmas as Maria welcomes home her 33-year-old son for the double celebration of Christmas and his birthday. He’s unemployed but has recently been enlightened by ‘the inner divine spirit’.

In Dutch. Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10

Saturday 30 December Twisted Dance Tunes The regular night is given an extra twist by DJ Danny. PRIK, 22.00-03.00, free

Friday 22 December

Oud en Nieuw Themafeest Whatever happens, it’s gonna be busy. Café Sappho, (Sun, Tues-Thur 18.0001.00, Fri, Sat 18.00-03.00)

Music/Theatre: Waanzin: Het Syndicaat (See 21 December) Het Rozentheater, 20.00, €12.50

Theatre: Hallo Maria (See 26 December) Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10

Music/Theatre: Het Zilvermeer Kurt Weill’s last opera—written in the early ’30s—provides a gripping analogy on emerging Nazism. De Engelenbak, 20.30, €11

Sunday 31 December

Theatre: Platonov Rated as one of the season’s Topstukken, Alize Zandwijk’s production of Chekhov’s play about a frustrated philosophy teacher concentrates on the lack of idealism Platonov’s generation suffered from. In Dutch. Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €11.50€22.50

Comedy: easyLaughs Comedy improv in English.

Two different shows every Friday night. Crea Muziekzaal, 20.30, 22.30, €10, €5 (late night)

Wednesday 27 December

CliQue DJ No 5 plays electro, ’80s pop and rock, and funky techno. There’s a catwalk, a lounge, and a happy hour between 1 a.m. and 2 a.m.—and it’s all for free. Exit, 00.00-04.00, free

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: The Nutcracker Performed by one of the grandest dance companies in Russia, the Tchaikovsky Perm Ballet. Over the next couple of weeks, audiences will be dazzled by their traditional approach to three of the composer’s most popular works—The Nutcracker, Swan Lake and Sleeping Beauty. RAI, 20.00, €29-€55

Thursday 28 December

Bingo Diva May Day hosts a special Boxing Day bingo jamboree. Queen's Head, 22.00,

Thursday 28 December

Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 16.00, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50

New Year’s Eve Party Not just fun and games and drinks, but oliebollen, too. Where do you think they hide the deep-fat fryer the rest of the year? Amstel Taveerne, 20.00, free

Christmas reception Share a post-Christmas Day drink with like-minded people. Amstel Taveerne, 17.00,

Bückstück - Brutale Musik Music with a sharp edge.

PRIK, 16.00-late, free

Music/Theatre: Ladies First: The Whole Shebang See Short List. Sugar Factory, 20.00, €12.50

Music/Theatre: Het Zilvermeer (See 21 December) De Engelenbak, 20.30, €11

Saturday 23 December Twisted Tunes DJ Nookie twists it up. PRIK, 22.0003.00, free

21

Ballet: Nutcracker & Mouse King (See 23 December) Het Muziektheater, 14.00, €20-€50

Tuesday 26 December

Music/Theatre: Ladies First: The Whole Shebang See Short List. Sugar Factory, 14.00, 20.00, €12.50

Monday 1January Ballet: Nutcracker & Mouse King (See 23 December) Het Muziektheater, 14.00, €20-€50 Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 15.00, €29-€55

Tuesday 2 January Theatre: Hallo Maria (See 26 December) Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10 Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: Swan Lake (See 22 December) RAI, 20.00, €29-€55

Ballet: Tchaikovsky Ballet Festival: The Nutcracker (See 22 December) RAI, 15.00, €29-€55

Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50

Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 16.00, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50

Wednesday 3 January

Theatre: LPDPN: Over zolen die maar niet slijten willen (See 21 December) Ostadetheater, 17.30, 20.30, €12/€30 incl dinner

Wednesday 27 December

Theatre: Hallo Maria (See 26 December) Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10

Theatre: Scènes uit een huwelijk (See 21 December) Stadsschouwburg, 19.30, €25

Theatre: Hallo Maria (See 26 December) Theater Bellevue, 12.30, €10

Cabaret: Blue Man Group See Short List. Theater Fabriek Amsterdam, 20.30, €19.50-€49.50

Amsterdam Weekly

22

Museums

Keizersgracht. Museum van Loon (Wed-Mon 11.0017.00), until 15 January 2007

Rembrandt’s Drawings: The Observer Part two of this study of Rembrandt’s drawings, showing how he viewed the world around him and recorded it in ink and sketches. Rijksmuseum (Daily 09.00-18.00), until 31 December

Foam_3h: Diederik Meijer—1900 Groom Road A series of vivid portraits of inhabitants of a New Orleans trailer park, whose belongings were destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Foam (Sun-Wed 10.00-17.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 26 January 2007

Inside Iran An overview of Iranian painter Khosrow Hassanzadeh, whose works focus on political and social developments in his home country, and demonstrate a critical approach towards both Iranian state propaganda and Western prejudices about the Muslim world. Tropenmuseum (Mon-Fri 11.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 13.00-17.00), until 7 January 2007

Room for Advertising Companies, governments and cultural institutions are becoming increasingly inventive in utilising public space for their products and services. Posters and billboards have always been around, but enormous banners and projected images, for example, are becoming increasingly obtrusive.

Here, ARCAM stimulates visitors to consider questions such as: what does the city do with advertisements?

And what do advertisements do with the city? ARCAM (Tues-Sat 13.00-17.00), until 27 January 2007

Night Garden This exhibition, in the form of a subtechnical indoor garden, links new technology, nature, contemporary art and its consumption. Visitors can expect to be transformed into a cybernetic nocturnal animal, build robots at a garden robot production studio, wander through a digital alter-garden, learn the science of mating calls, experience psycho-chemical garden furniture and eat at a restaurant prototype that serves over 30 sorts of sprouted micro-greens. Mediamatic (Thur-Sun 18.00-23.00), until 7 January 2007

August Sander: People of the 20th Century, see Opening

ART

EFA2006 Landscapes, portraits and documentary series. All forms of photography are tackled in Fotoacademie Amsterdam’s final exam exhibition. Pakhuis de Zwijger (Fri 09.00-17.00, Sat 10.00-17.00), opens Friday, closing Saturday

Opening Aanwinsten 2005-2006 A presentation of recent purchases, including pieces by Francis Alÿs, Mike Kelley, William Kentridge, Philip-Lorca deCorcia, Aernout Mik and Thomas Ruff. Stedelijk Museum CS (Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), opens Thursday, until 9 April 2007

The Neglected An exhibition by award-winning photo journalist David Gillanders about HIV victims in Russia and Eastern Europe. Melkweg Galerie (Wed-Sun 13.00-20.00), opens Thursday, until 20 January 2007 Winter A series of photographs made in Hortus by Marnix Goossens, asking what does winter in the botanical garden mean? Hortus Botanicus (Daily 09.00-04.00), opens Thursday, until 31 January 2007 August Sander: People of the 20th Century A representative selection of vintage prints from the German photographer’s (1876-1964) world-famous People of the 20th Century project. Proposing to chart the entire structure of society in his day, the result was a sociological project, a historical document and a photographic masterpiece. Foam (Sun-Wed 10.00-17.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), opens Friday, until 21 March 2007

The Clouds Are More Beautiful From Above Guido van der Werve’s two films are concerned with ardent ambition that is doomed to failure. Number Six couples Van der Werve’s characteristically sombre narrative with romantic classical music, and Number Seven charts an experiment in which a rocket is used to shoot a meteorite back into space. Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), until 7 January 2007 Pierre Bernard: Erasmus Prize 2006 Marking the award of the Erasmus Prize 2006 to the French graphic designer Pierre Bernard, this collection features over sixty posters and other works by the artist. Stedelijk Museum CS (Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), until 7 January 2007 Beelden van Zwartboek An exhibition on set photography, storyboards and other ephemera documenting the creation of Paul Verhoevens’ wartime drama. Filmmuseum (Daily 13.00-17.00), until 8 January 2007 Who Can I Trust? An exhibition on the persecution of homosexuals in Germany between 1933-1945 and in the Netherlands during the Nazi occupation.

Verzetsmuseum (Tues-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat-Mon 12.0017.00), until 14 January 2007

Kees de Kort A tribute to 40 years of painting, illustrating and designing by the Dutch artist. His work shows biblical inspiration but also a great fascination with animals. Bijbels Museum (Mon-Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 11.00-17.00), opens Thursday, until 18 March 2007 Moscow Zandvoort Helsinki Moscow Zandvoort Helsinki Photography of apartment buildings by Mieke Woestenburg. De Kijkkasten (Daily) opens Thursday 28 December until 1 February 2007 Rembrandt de Remix Rembrandtjaar is closing and the sense of relief is palpable. Then it turns out there’s still time for one more collection, but at least there’s a sense of humour to this one. Curated by Chiel van Zelst and Peter Huybrechts, artists are being given their own Rembrandt prints to ‘pimp’ in their own style.

Around 50 artists have been invited and anything goes, so it should be fun. See article on p. 23. Arti et Amicitiae (Tues-Sun 13.00-18.00) opens Saturday 30 December until 6 January 2007

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

If I Can’t Dance, I Don’t Want To Be Part Of Your Revolution The famous quote by anarchist Emma Goldman is the departure point of this travelling visual arts collection. This year’s programme borrows from the language of dance, music, theatre and archived visual material to create a series of performances rethinking the representation of women today. De Appel (Tues-Sun 11.00-18.00), until 14 January 2007 Jesper Just: Something to Love Three short films by the Danish artist, whose films deploy a highly stylised visual language that references Hollywood cinema with which he scrutinises notions of masculinity in popular culture. Stedelijk Museum CS (Fri-Wed 10.0018.00), until 14 January 2007 Le Nouveau Siècle Work of contemporary artists inspired by and presented in the stately mansion on

Henry Moore: And the Challenge of Architecture Showcasing the works of one of the most influential sculptors of the 20th century, the exhibition focuses on the relationship between Moore’s sculptures with architecture and urban spaces. Kunsthal (Tues-Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 11.00-17.00), Rotterdam, until 28 January 2007 Erik van Lieshout: This Can’t Go On (Stay With Me) An overview of the Rotterdam artist’s commentary on modern life in all its varieties, expressed in installations, films, drawings and paintings. Van Lieshout’s newest film, Rock, is shown in a drive-in cinema that has been erected in the museum’s hall. Museum Boijmans Van Beuningen (Tues-Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 11.00-17.00), Rotterdam, until 4 February 2007 Geroofd, Maar van Wie? Hosted in the Amsterdam theatre that became a Jewish deportation centre during World War II, this exhibition’s focus is on works of art taken during wartime, and later returned, though remaining unclaimed. Hollandsche Schouwburg (Daily 11.00-16.00), until 4 February 2007 Paul Kooiker: Paradise Twenty-One Various photo sets from the last ten years and new video works made

by Dutch photographer Kooiker. Reflecting his fascination for perception, he focuses on the female form, which he produces in many different ways. His oeuvre is a contemporary continuation of a traditional theme: the relationship between artist and model, viewer and viewed, object and subject. Foam (Sun-Wed 10.0017.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 11 February 2007 Tour de France 1646 Drawings by Rembrandt’s student Lambert Doomer and his friend Willem Schellinks, made during a trip along the River Loire.

Rembrandthuis (Mon-Thur, Sat, Sun 10.00-17.00, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 11 February 2007 Facts, Fictions and Stories The first solo exhibition in the Netherlands by the South African photographers Adam Broomberg (1970) and Oliver Chanarin (1971), featuring their most recent work, Chicago . This collection shows various aspects of the war and propaganda in Israel, as well as the series Mr. Mkhize’s Portrait, which casts a glance at South Africa 10 years after the end of apartheid. Stedelijk Museum CS (Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), until 25 February 2007 Anton Rooskens A tribute to Anton Rooskens (19061976), co-founder of the CoBrA movement and one of the Netherlands’ leading post-war experimentalists.

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007

No disrespect to the dead intended, but let’s just paint over that fat, broke and dead master.

FINALLY, NO MORE REMBRANDT!

By Mark Wedin That’s right folks: the end of 2006 means the end of the celebration. No more Greenaway flicks or lookalikes singing Broadway-style musicals. Goodbye, Rembrandt 400. Breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy the delicious anticipation of a peaceful town without that funny little hat on every corner.

And what’s a good way to hammer the last nail in the coffin? Simply steal the master’s works and make them better. Or worse. Or just plain different.

In a sense, that’s what Peter Huybrechts and Chiel van Zelst, curators of Pimp my Rembrandt (AKA Rembrandt de Remix) at Arti Amacitiae, are doing.

They handed out 40 aluminium photo prints to painters, cartoonists, graffiti artists, industrial designers, and digital artists—a varied bunch who took the masterpieces home and began the task of remixing them any way they wanted.

‘Everyone was very enthusiastic about the idea,’ says Huybrechts. ‘We told them they could pick up a print between seven and ten p.m., but a lot showed up at six forty-five, and soon it was a madhouse. By seven forty-five, everything

was gone. It felt like I had been plundered.’

Part of the eagerness resulted from the fact that it was on a first-come, firstserve basis. ‘The work that everyone wanted was the “Crucifixion of Christ”,’ says Huybrechts. ‘It’s a very beautiful one. We actually made two prints of it, because we knew it was quite popular.’

No work was too holy for anyone to touch; the artists are willing to splash their own modern tastes all over any piece by the ageing master. ‘We just thought it was an interesting idea for artists from nowadays to give their own addition to a well-known work,’ says Huybrechts.

Rumour also has it that some very famous artists are participating—though under aliases. ‘It was fun to watch all these professional artists running around and acting like children,’ smiles Huybrechts. ‘But none of them will tell us anything about what they’re going to do. The big issue for us is: what’s it going to be?’

Pimp my Rembrandt 29 December-6 January, Arti et Amacitiae, Rokin 112, 624 5134, www.pimpmyrembrandt.nl

23

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 January 2007 This extensive exhibition features painterly highlights from his body of work. CoBrA Museum (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), until 25 February 2007 Gregory Crewdson: Retrospective 1985-2005 Since the mid-’80s, New York photographer Crewdson has created six carefully staged photo-series in which he presents the world as an obscure cinematographic dream. Against the background of suburban America, he explores the fears, neuroses and desires that are deeply rooted in everyday modern life. Fotomuseum (Tues-Sun 12.00-18.00), Den Haag, until 25 February 2007 Vincent van Gogh and Expressionism The first show to highlight the impact of Van Gogh on German and Austrian expressionists. Between his death and the outbreak of World War I, Van Gogh’s paintings came to symbolise ‘international’ and ‘modern’ art, and he was more popular in Germany than anywhere else.

Van Gogh Museum (Mon-Thur, Sat, Sun 10.00-18.00, Fri 10.00-22.00), until 4 March 2007 Bare Hidden poverty in the Netherlands is the theme for this year’s annual ‘Document Nederland’ photography assignment organised by the Rijksmuseum and NRC Handelsblad. The works show those who literally live ‘below the minimum’: people who scrape by on a social security payment or old-age pension, and as a result, end up living on the outskirts of society in barestripped existence. Photographer Geert van Kesteren leads the exhibition. Huis Marseille (Tues-Sun 11.0018.00), until 4 March 2007

Just In Time The annual Municipal Art Acquisitions exhibitions allow for an overview of cultural activity in Amsterdam in the areas of visual art, photography, design and applied arts. Each year the show pivots on one discipline—or a combination of various disciplines—and works are acquired from it for the Stedelijk Museum collection. This year’s guest curator is Maxine Kopsa, freelance curator and associate editor of the contemporary art magazine Metropolis M. Stedelijk Museum CS (Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), until 11 March 2007 In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni ‘First of all, the world must be changed’. Paintings, pamphlets, films, and letters by members of Situationalist International, a movement that rebelled against consumerism, mass media and existing social and artistic norms and pleaded for making art an integral part of everyday life. This exhibition will give an overview of the 20th century’s last avant-garde movement, including works by Guy Debord, Asger Jorn, Guiseppe Pinot Gallizio, Ivan Chtcheglov and others.

Centraal Museum (Tues-Thur, Sat, Sun 12.00-17.00, Fri 12.00-21.00), Utrecht, until 11 March 2007 Objects for Eternity: Egyptian Treasures from Antiquity Approximately 150 objects from ancient Egypt, detailing how intensively and carefully the ancient Egyptians prepared for the eternity they believed was in store for every decent person following death. Allard Pierson Museum (Tues-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 13.00-17.00), until 25 March 2007

Bert Teunissen: Domestic Landscapes Taking more than 300 photos for this project over the last decade, Teunissen has been in search of the light that he remembers from his parental home, while also documenting an authentic way of life that is disappearing.

Focused on houses built prior to World War II, before electricity started to have an influence on the rhythm of life, he has sought out the interiors of homes in which daylight still determines the furnishings, the atmosphere and the daily existence of their inhabitants. Huis Marseille (Tues-Sun 11.00-18.00), until 4 March 2007 French Passion During the early 20th century, private collectors in the Netherlands acquired many masterpieces by painters including Monet, Daubigny, Cézanne and other famed French artists. This exhibition provides an overview of the pieces united at the time. Centraal Museum (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), Utrecht, until 11 March 2007

Eva’s Story Eva’s Story Showing paintings of Erich and Heinz Gieringer made while they were in hiding from the Nazi prosecutors. Verzetsmuseum (Tues-Fri 10.0017.00), until 6 April 2007

Istanbul From Byzantium to the Ottomans, from Constantinople to Istanbul: the pieces from the Nieuwe Kerk’s winter exhibition are born of one of the richest and most diverse histories in the world. The exhibition focuses on Ottoman heritage, displaying nearly 300 treasures of the sultans—including exhibits from Topkapi Palace Museum. Nieuwe Kerk (Thur 10.00-22.00, Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), until 15 April 2007 Behind the Curtains Fifteen innovative architectural designs by Willem Jan Neutelings and Michiel Riedijk, whose expressive buildings are icons within cities that are appreciated equally by tenants and passers-by.

Museum Hilversum (Tues-Sat 11.00-17.00, Sun 12.0017.00), Hilversum, until 6 May 2007

25 Living Room 2 An interactive installation based upon huge wall drawings by interior designer Matali Crasset—winner of the Designer Prize 2005 at Salon du Meuble of Paris—in collaboration with the artists Petra Mrzyk and Jean-François Moriceau. Maison Descartes (Mon-Thur 10.00-18.00, Fri 10.00-17.00), closing Friday Pablo Pijnappel Photography. Galerie Juliette Jongma (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00, first Sun of month 14.00-17.00), closing Saturday Happy Hour Group exhibition featuring works by Jan Pieter Fokkens, Daniel Hofstede, Sander Reijgers and Jasmijn Visser. De Praktijk (Mon-Sat 13.00-18.00), closing Saturday

Beauty and the Bead: From Madonna to the Maasai The first exhibition ever to focus on beads as a worldwide phenomenon, Beauty and the Bead features beaded costumes from every epoch and all corners of the earth. Among the exhibits are a royal robe from Congo, a parka from the North Pole and a mummy from Ancient Egypt, as well as a glamorous dress worn

by Marilyn Monroe, shoes worn by Madonna’s shoes and haute couture by Versace and John Galliano.

Tropenmuseum (Tues-Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 12.0017.00), until 13 May 2007

Much Ado About Nothing Mixed works by Matthias Hoch, Edwin Zwakman, Ilya Rabinovich and Lea Asja Pagenkemper. Akinci (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00), closing Saturday

Galleries

Ed Dukkers, Jef Gysen Abstract paintings and drawings by Dukkers (1923-1996) and oil paintings and images by Gysen. Galerie Jos Art (Tues-Sun 11.0017.30), closing Sunday

What You Need to Make It The items presented in this show are not meant or made to be artworks. Instead, the intention is to draw attention to the items which led the artists to create their best artworks—things that wouldn’t normally be shown in a gallery space but which have been hugely important during the production of a favourite piece. Artists include Elsa Manceaux, Merel van ’t Hullenaar, Hedwig van der Heiden, Apostolos Ntelakos, Luciënne Köhler, Imke Ruigrok, Panos Mitsopoulos, Menso Groeneveld, Aquil Copier and many more. Chiellerie (Wed-Sun 14.00-18.00) Le Dernier Cri Exclusive silkscreen prints from Pakito Bolino, Ota Keita, Reinhard Schneibner, Fredox, Stumead and some 40 other graphic designers associated with the Marseille group. iLLUSEUM (Sat, Sun 15.00-20.00), closing Friday Andreas Gefeller: Supernatural Large-scale abstract photographs by the German artist. Dubbelbee Galerie (Wed-Sat 12.00-17.30), closing Friday

Sibylle Eimermacher: House_in_space Drawings and paintings from the German-born artist, recently nominated for the Koninklijke Prijs voor Vrije Schilderkunst. AYAC’S (Fri, Sat 13.00-17.30), closing Saturday Guilliaume Bijl Installations from the Antwerp artist.

Lumen Travo (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), closing Saturday

Buning Brongers Prijzen Prize-winning artworks from the 10 finalists of the art prize. Artists include Miranda Cleary, Nathan van Heynsbergen, Rijnder Kamerbeek, Henrik Kröner, Anna Niederbremer, Pauline Niks, Jack Ruebsaet, Lucy Stein, Evi Vingerling and Rozemarijn Westerink. Arti et Amicitiae (Tues-Sun 13.00-18.00), closing Sunday Wendell Gladstone New paintings rendering both the natural and the fantastic in landscapes dotted with animal and human life, and often hybrids of the two.

Artspace Witzenhausen (Thur-Sat 12.00-18.00), until 30 December Naro Snackey: Beyond Surfaces Autobiographical sculptural collages based upon paintings and drawings. The Amsterdam artist was invited to take part in this Outline series by guest curator Roy Villevoye. OUTLINE (Thur-Sat 13.00-17.00), until 30 December

26 Nouriman Manuchehri The final instalment in the series De Kleur van Iran features a solo exhibition from acclaimed contemporary Iranian artist Manuchehri. De Levante (Wed-Sun 13.00-17.30), until 30 December Spool II A multimedia exhibition featuring adventurous sound and film installations and live performances. Artists include Semiconductor, James Beckett, Pleix and Richard T Walker. Consortium (FriSun 14.00-18.00), until 31 December Natuurlijke Chemie Outdoor exhibition showcasing the natural techniques used by Leentje van Hengel on textiles and clothing. A total of 28 cases will display her work along the route between De Waag and Nieuwe Hoogstraat. Sint Antoniesbreestraat (Daily), until 3 January 2007 ArtOlive Offline #5 A collection of paintings and bronze sculptures by Monica Rotgans in a series titled Toros y Tierras. ArtOlive (Mon-Fri 11.00-17.00, Sun 12.00-17.00), until 5 January 2007 Benoît Hermans: Objets troublant, Objets troublés Solo exhibition of paintings by the Maastricht artist.

Galerie Ferdinand van Dieten-d’Eendt (Thur-Sat 11.0018.00), until 7 January 2007 Grind An exhibition aiming to unearth the underlying layers of contemporary society. Four different artists/groups pick at our common perceptions and preconceived notions of contemporary life, reconstructing and dismantling them into a palette of new experiences that ultimately formulate positive solutions. Studio Apart (Wed 10.00-18.00, Thur 10.00-21.00, Fri 10.00-18.00, Sat 12.00-17.00), until 12 January 2007 Gé Karel van der Sterren: Point of view Recent works by the Amsterdam artist whose paintings are renowned for their vivid colours and exuberant paint use. Galerie Fons Welters (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 13 January 2007 Fumus Fugiens The former Pathological Anatomical Laboratory is explored and deconstructed. The exhibition focuses on dissection, forensics and other elements that are relevant to anatomical practice.

SMART Project Space (Tues-Sat 12.00-17.00), until 13 January 2007 Terry Rodgers: The Apotheosis of Pleasure Paintings showing a hedonistic vision of the upper classes. Torch Gallery (Thur-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 13 January 2007 Ron Galella: Disco Years A colourful collection of images by renowned American nightlife photographer Ron Galella. The exhibition reads as a visual diary of the New York club scene in the ’70s, with plenty of star-studded cameo appearances. Galerie Wouter van Leeuwen (Thur-Sat 12.00-18.00), until 13 January 2007 Gallery Cover An installation by Ryan Gander, winner of this year’s Baloise Art Prize. Annet Gelink Gallery (Tues-Fri 10.00-18.00, Sat 13.00-18.00), until 13 January 2007 Nick Ervinck The young Belgian multimedia artist combines technological ingenuity with creative experiments, resulting in striking sculptures and mesmerising 3D animations. De Brakke Grond (Mon 10.00-18.00, Tues-Fri 10.00-20.30, Sat 13.00-20.30, Sun 13.00-17.00), until 14 January 2007 Monsters Recent drawings and collages by Tom Lenders, and new aquarelles by Reiko Nak. Suzanne Biederberg Gallery (Wed-Sat 14.00-18.00), until 14 January 2007 Mayuka Yamamoto, Hiroyuki Matsuura Paintings by two Japanese artists. Yamamoto presents the series Deer Boy and Other Infants, while Matsuura presents Acrylic Skin. Canvas International Art (Thur-Sat 14.0018.00), Amstelveen, until 20 January 2007 Koen Delaere New paintings by the artist from Tilburg.

Aschenbach & Hofland Galleries (Wed-Sat 12.0017.00), until 21 January 2007 Hot Rod Kustom Art Exhibition Cars, tattoos and rock ’n’ roll. De Cantine (Daily 12.00-17.00, 18.00-22.00), until 21 January 2007 Dirk van Lieshout Models, drawings and video by the Rotterdam artist. Upstream Gallery (Wed-Sat 12.0018.00), until 22 January 2007 Lloyd History Graphical works by V Wiertz, the calligrapher of the Lloyd Hotel, and photo portraits of the builders of the hotel by S van den Horst. Lloyd Hotel (Daily), until 31 January 2007 Beauty Unrealized A new research project dedicated to the investigation of beauty and the status of objects.

During this project, the gallery space will become a library, containing lists of items (books, films, articles, music, etc) submitted by different artists, filmmakers, writers and composers, whose works have been influenced by those objects. Public Space with a Roof (Thur-Sun 15.00-19.00), until 8 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

EVENTS Friday 22 December Party: iLLUSEUM: 5 Years Le Dernier Cri exhibition is wrapped up in fine style: there’ll be magic, music, ‘sonata erotica’, food, drinks and other surprises. iLLUSEUM, 19.00, free Circus: Wereldkerstcircus It’s hardly the trendiest of outings these days, but tradition goes a long way, and this is the 21st Christmas circus to take over Carré.

Stars on this year’s bill include Dutch magician Hans Klok and Las Vegas clown David Shiner, all aiming to dazzle audiences with excitement, beauty, illusions and humour. Carré, various times daily, until 7 January, €15-€49

Saturday 23 December Art/Music/Performance: Plug-In 2006: Elite/Elitair This art event about the elitism of art events poses the question, ‘should art openings offer additional entertainment in order to appeal to the broader public?’ Does art have to be combined with a night out in order to be attractive to anyone apart from a small elite? P/////AKT’s answer is apparently ‘yes’, as there’ll be film screenings, presentations and live music by Krause, Kid Goesting ft Roald van Oosten and more, as well as a special Radio Rietveld broadcast to accompany the exhibitions of the three collaborating galleries: Kattenbak Collectief, Horse Move Project Space and Chiellerie.

P/////AKT, 19.00-03.00

Tuesday 26 December Performance: Apassionata: Hommage A spectacular horse show featuring magnificent stage sets. RAI, 15.00, 20.00, €35-€55

Wednesday 27 December Performance: Apassionata: Hommage (See 26 December) RAI, 15.00, 20.00, €35-€55

Thursday 28 December Reading: Why Tramline 8 No Longer Runs A moving narrative about a woman, who as a Jewish baby was rescued by the resistance. In 2006 she returned to Amsterdam accompanied by her children and grandchildren. Read by Karel Baracs in English.

Verzetsmuseum, 14.00, €7.50 Music/Theatre/Poetry: Love Unlimited An interactive show about love in our multicultural society, raising questions like, ‘is love fate?’ and ‘can love transcend national borders?’ Also featured is the performance of a new play by Nahed Selim, a reading of classical Arabian poetry, and music by Meral Polat and DJ Suna.

De Balie, 20.30, €12

Friday 29 December Performance: Hommage Apassionata (See 26 December) RAI, 15.00, 20.00, €35-€55 Music/Theatre/Poetry: Love Unlimited (See 28 December) De Balie, 20.30, €12

Saturday 30 December Sport: Masters of the Game There’s going to be an afternoon of fancy footwork and proper footballing fun when these 16 freestyle footballers get into the ring to fight for the title of ‘MotG’s World Freestyle Champion’ in two-on-two battles. This is followed by the ‘Ring Soccer Championships 2006’ where teams of two fight for the Ring Soccer trophy. Plus there’s music from DJs 360 and Kid and live performances by Darryl, FuriuzStylez, Xchange Project en C.A.N.E. (The Most Official). Pepsi Stage, 14.30, €20 Performance: Hommage Apassionata (See 26 December) RAI, 15.00, €35-€55

Sunday 31 December Party: Het Damfeest Looking for a free party with fireworks and entertainment where you can ring in the New Year? This is Amsterdam’s biggest outdoor party. See www.idtv.nl for the latest schedule. Dam Square, free

ADDRESSES 11 Oosterdokskade 3-5, 625 5999 AdK Actuele Kunst Prinsengracht 534, 320 9242 Akinci Lijnbaansgracht 317, 638 0480 Allard Pierson Museum Oude Turfmarkt 127, 525 2556 Amstel Taveerne Amstel 54, 623 4254 Amsterdams Historisch Museum Kalverstraat 92, 523 1822 Annet Gelink Gallery Laurierstraat 187-189, 330 2066 De Appel Nieuwe Spiegelstraat 10, 625 5651 April Reguliersdwarsstraat 37, 625 9572 ARCAM Prins Hendrikkade 600, 620 4878 Arti et Amicitiae Rokin 112, 624 5134 ArtOlive Polonceaukade 17, 675 8504 Artspace Witzenhausen Hazenstraat 60, 644 9898 Aschenbach & Hofland Galleries Bilderdijkstraat 165C, 412 1772 AYAC'S Keizersgracht 166, 638 5240 Badcuyp 1e Sweelinckstraat 10, 675 9669 bak Lange Nieuwstraat 4, Utrecht, 030 231 6125 De Balie Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 10, 553 5151 Bethaniënklooster Barndesteeg 6, 625 0078 Beurs van Berlage Damrak 277, 530 4141 Bijbels Museum Herengracht 366-368, 624 2436 Bimhuis Piet Heinkade 3, 788 2150 Bitterzoet Spuistraat 2, 521 3001 Bourbon Street Leidsekruisstraat 6-8, 623 3440 De Brakke Grond Nes 45, 626 6866 Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina Veemkade 576, 419 3368 Café Sappho Vijzelstraat 103, 423 1509 De Cantine Rietlandpark 373, 419 4433 Canvas International Art Fokkerlaan 46, Amstelveen, 428 6040 Carré Amstel 115-125, 524 9452 Centraal Museum Nicolaaskerkhof, Utrecht, 030 236 2362 Chiellerie Raamgracht 58, 320 9448 Club 8 Admiraal de Ruyterweg 56B, 685 1703 CoBrA Museum Sandbergplein 1-3, Amstelveen, 547 5050 Concertgebouw Concertgebouwplein 2-6, 671 8345 Consortium Veemkade 570, 06 2611 8950 Crea Muziekzaal Turfdraagsterpad 17, 525 1400 Crea Theater Turfdraagsterpad 17, 525 1400 Cristofori Prinsengracht 581-583, 626 8485 Cruise Inn Zuiderzeeweg 29, 692 7188 Custom Café Sugar Hazenstraat 19, 06 1401 3143 Dubbelbee Galerie Gerard Doustraat 142-144, 623 2884 De Duif Prinsengracht 756 Ellen de Bruijne Projects/Dolores Rozengracht 207A, 530 4994 De Engelenbak Nes 71, 626 3644 English Reformed Church Begijnhof 48, 624 9665 Exit Reguliersdwarsstraat 42, 625 8788 Filmmuseum Vondelpark 3, 589 1400 Flex Bar Pazzanistraat 1, 486 2123 Foam Keizersgracht 609, 551 6546 Fotomuseum Stadhouderslaan 43, Den Haag, 070 338 1144 Ferdinand van Dieten-d'Eendt Spuistraat 270, 626 5777 Galerie Fons Welters Bloemstraat 140, 423 3046 Galerie Jos Art KSNM-laan 291, 418 7003 Galerie Juliette Jongma Gerard Douplein 23, 463 6904 Galerie Krijger + Katwijk Lange Leidsedwarsstraat 198200, 627 3808 Galerie Wouter van Leeuwen Hazenstraat 27, 06 5203 1540 Getto Warmoesstraat 51 Grolsch Music Café ArenA Boulevard 242, 365 2035 Heineken Music Hall ArenA Boulevard 590, 0900 300 1250 Hermitage Amsterdam Nieuwe Herengracht 14, 530 8751 Hollandsche Schouwburg Plantage Middenlaan 24, 531 0340 Hortus Botanicus Plantage Middenlaan 2A, 625 9021 Hotel Arena ’s-Gravesandestraat 51, 850 2400 Huis Marseille Keizersgracht 401, 531 8989 iLLUSEUM Witte de Withstraat 120, 770 5581 Jimmy Woo Korte Leidsedwarsstraat 18, 626 3150 Joods Historisch Museum Jonas Daniel Meijerplein 2-4, 531 0310 KHL Koffiehuis Oostelijke Handelskade 44, 779 1575 De Kijkkasten Sint Nicolaasstraat

21 December-3 January 2007 De Kunstfabriek Polonceaukade 20 (Westergasfabriekterrein), 488 9430 Kunsthal Museumpark, Westzeedijk 341, Rotterdam, 010 440 0301 De Levante Hobbemastraat 28, 671 5485 Lloyd Hotel Oostelijke Handelskade 34, 419 1840 Lumen Travo Lijnbaansgracht 314, 627 0883 Maison Descartes Salle André Citroën, Prinsengracht 644A, 531 9500 Maloe Melo Lijnbaansgracht 163, 420 4592 The Mansion Hobbemastraat 2 Mediamatic Post CS, Oosterdokskade 5, 638 9901 Meervaart Meer en Vaart 300, 410 7777 Melkweg Lijnbaansgracht 234A, 531 8181 Melkweg Galerie Marnixstraat 409, 531 8181 Motive Gallery Elandsgracht 10, 330 3668 Museum Boijmans Van Beuningen Museumpark 18-20, Rotterdam, 010 441 9400 Museum Hilversum Kerkbrink 6, Hilversum, 035 629 2826 Museum van Loon Keizersgracht 672, 624 5255 Muziekgebouw Piet Heinkade 1, 788 2010 Het Muziektheater Amstel 3, 625 5455 NDSM-werf TT Neveritaweg 15, 330 5480 Nederlands Architectuurinstituut Museumpark 25, Rotterdam, 010 440 1200 Nieuwe Kerk entrance on the Dam, 638 6909 OCCII Amstelveenseweg 134, 671 7778 Odeon Singel 460, 624 9711 Ostadetheater Van Ostadestraat 233 D, 679 5096 OT301 Overtoom 301, 779 4913 OUTLINE Oetewalerstraat 73, 693 1389 P/////AKT Zeeburgerpad 53, 06 5427 0879 P60 Stadsplein 100A, Amstelveen, 023 345 3445 Pacific Parc Polonceaukade 23, 488 7778 Pakhuis de Zwijger Piet Heinkade 179-181, 788 4444 Panama Oostelijke Handelskade 4, 311 8680 Paradiso Weteringschans 6-8, 626 4521 Passenger Terminal Amsterdam Piet Heinkade 27, 509 1000 Patronaat Zijlsingel 2, Haarlem, 023 517 5858 Pepsi Stage ArenA Boulevard 1, 0900 0194 Platform 21 Prinses Irenestraat 19, 344 9449 The Powerzone Spaklerweg, 681 8866 De Praktijk Lauriergracht 96, 422 1727 PRIK Spuistraat 109, 06 4544 2321 Public Space with a Roof Overtoom 301, 06 1117 4239 Queen's Head Zeedijk 20, 420 2475 RAI Europaplein 22, 549 1212 Reflex Modern Art Gallery Weteringschans 79A, 627 2832 Rembrandthuis Jodenbreestraat 4, 520 0400 Rijksmuseum Jan Luykenstraat 1, 674 7000 Het Rozentheater Rozengracht 117, 620 7953 Saarein Elandsstraat 119, 623 4901 Shirdak Prinsengracht 192, 626 6800 Sinners Wagenstraat 3-7, 620 1375 SMART Project Space Arie Biemondstraat 107-113, 427 5953 Soho Reguliersdwarsstraat 36, 422 9936 Spijker Kerkstraat 44, 620 5919 Stadsschouwburg Leidseplein 26, 624 2311 Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam Rozenstraat 59, 422 0471 Stedelijk Museum CS Oosterdokskade 5, 573 2911 Studio 80 Rembrandtplein 70, 521 8333 Studio Apart Prinsengracht 715, 422 2748 Sugar Factory Lijnbaansgracht 238, 627 0008 Supperclub Cruise Dock 4 behind Central Station Suzanne Biederberg Gallery 1e Egelantiersdwarsstraat 1, 624 5455 The Sand Mekongweg 5, 614 7262 Theater Bellevue Leidsekade 90, 530 5301 Theater Fabriek Amsterdam Czaar Peterstraat 213, 522 5260 Torch Gallery Lauriergracht 94, 626 0284 Tropenmuseum Linnaeusstraat 2, 568 8200 TT Vasumweg 131 (next to NDSM) Under the Grand Chapiteau Next to ArenA, 621 1288 Upstream Gallery Kromme Waal 11, 428 4284 Van Gogh Museum Paulus Potterstraat 7, 570 5200 Verzetsmuseum Plantage Kerklaan 61, 620 2535 Westergasfabriek Haarlemmerweg 8-10, 586 0710 Winston Kingdom Warmoesstraat 129, 623 1380 The Zebra Korte Leidsedwarsstraat 14, 330 5266

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

Come On Baby, Roze filmdagen

FILM

Edited by Julie Phillips.This week’s films reviewed

by Floris Dogterom (FD), Angela Dress (AD), Shyama Daryanani (SD),Laura Groeneveld (LG), Andrea Gronvall (AG),John Hartnett (JH),Luuk van Huët (LvH),JR Jones (JJ), Terri J Kester (TJK),Steven McCarron (SM),Marie-Claire Melzer (MM),Mike Peek (MP),Jaro Renout (JRe), Jonathan Rosenbaum (JR) and Bregtje Schudel (BS).All films are screened in English with Dutch subtitles unless otherwise noted. Amsterdam Weekly recommends.

Festival Roze Filmdagen Ten years old, 10 days long, and completely homo. That, in a nutshell, is Roze Filmdagen. What started as a stopgap replacement for the ill-fated Internationale Gay en Lesbian Filmfestival Holland now attracts 5,000 visitors and has become an annual fixture that’s up there with Pride. See www.rozefilmdagen.nl. De Balie, Cavia, De Uitkijk, ends 23 December.

New this week Bhagam Bhag Last decade’s Bollywood hottie Govinda (now making a comeback) and up-and-coming comedian Aksay Kumar star in this romantic comedy, playing actors in an Indian theatre group that snags a tour in the UK. Their female lead, tired of Kumar’s romantic advances, refuses to go, so they find a new actress (Lara Dutta) in the UK. Two problems arise.

First, she’s lost her memory. Second, she gets it back.

In Hindi with Dutch subtitles. Pathe Arena Snow Cake Director Marc Evans brings us a portentous tale of friendship, loss and uninteresting dark secrets.

Depressed ex-convict Alex gets stranded in a sleepy Canadian town teeming with such quirky-yet-loveable characters as high-functioning-autistic Linda and sexcrazed Maggie. Alan Rickman and Sigourney Weaver undoubtedly thought they were doing something special (and disabled characters and Oscar nods tend to go hand in hand). Yet the developments feel forced, or unfocused at best. Weaver’s portrayal of Linda could have been the icing on the (snow)cake. Instead, her performance is all quirks and no personality. (BS) 112 min. Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé Tuschinski

Sympathy for Lady Vengeance This final chapter

of Chan-wook Park’s Vengeance trilogy is more soulful and forgiving than the first, although it may feel a bit contrived at times. After spending 13 years behind bars for the alleged murder of a small boy, the vampish Geum-ja Lee sets an intricate plot into motion that has the narrative weaving back and forth through time and space while the real killer is slowly ensnared in her web of revenge. This film is slightly more upbeat than its predecessors, as redemption finally seems possible in Park’s universe without copious amounts of self-flagellation and sacrifice. Still, it doesn’t come easy. In Korean with Dutch subtitles.

(LvH) 113 min. Filmmuseum, from 28 December.

Still playing 4 Elements Documentarist Jiska Rickels portrays the

four elements by linking each one to man’s efforts to use—or fight—them. Each element has its own landscape, atmosphere, language and protagonists, hard workers making a living in the face of adversity. Earth is represented by a coal mine, water by crab fishermen in the Bering Strait, fire by firefighters in Siberia and air by a crew of astronauts in training. Narration and dialogue are in Russian, English, German and Kazakh, with sparing use of subtitles; but in this beautiful, thoughtprovoking film, the challenge to the audience is amply repaid. (TJK) 100 min. Het Ketelhuis, Rialto

27

Snow Cake

After the Wedding Jacob Petersen has dedicated his life to helping street children in India. When the orphanage he heads is threatened by closure, he receives an unusual offer from Danish businessman Jørgen who offers him a donation of four million dollars. There are, however, certain conditions: not only must Jacob return to Denmark, he must also take part in the wedding of Jørgen’s daughter. This proves to be a critical juncture between past and future and catapults Jacob into the most intense dilemma of his life. In Danish with Dutch subtitles. 120 min. De Uitkijk An Inconvenient Truth This souped-up slide show by former US VP and presidential candidate Al Gore is brought to you in full Lecture-Vision, as the man bashes you over the head with statistics, pictures, scientific facts and cute computer-animated polar bears to make you understand the importance of his mission. Gore is out to save the world from global warming and Uncle Al needs you! If you’re already in the know, it might be a sermon to the converted, but that doesn’t detract from the importance of this documentary and how it inspires people—maybe even you—to make a difference.

(LvH) 100 min. Kriterion, The Movies Ave Maria Veteran documentarist Nouchka van Brakel explores the cult of the Virgin Mary in the Netherlands, Spain, Poland and Turkey. Van Brakel portrays people who worship Mary, who claim to have seen her and who find solace and even healing in her image; a muslim theologist also contributes her views. 77 min. Het Ketelhuis Babel In a North African desert, two bored boys herd-

ing goats decide to try out their gun. The shot causes a chain reaction that changes the lives of an American couple (Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchett), a rebellious, deaf teenage girl in Japan and a Mexican au pair caring for two American children. According to director Alejandro González Iñárritu, this is the third film in a trilogy that began with 21 Grams and Amores Perros. It’s all about relationships, love in the midst of adversity and communication. In many languages with Dutch subtitles. 142 min. Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé De Munt

Five-Word Movie Review

ANGRY DEAF MAN SEEKS KIDNEY Sympathy for Mr Vengeance Filmmuseum

’N Beetje Verliefd ’N Beetje Verliefd Martin Koolhoven (Het Schnitzelparadijs) brings us another multicultural comedy with a multinational cast. Cute 19-year-old rapper Yes-R stars as Omar, who can marry his Turkish sweetie only if he oil-wrestles her brother (figure that one out). He goes for help to his grandfather Thijs (Ad van Kempen), who used to be a wrestling champion. Also with Plien van Bennekom, Tjitske Reidinga and Sabri Saad El-Hamus. In Dutch. 82 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt Borat Borat, the third-best reporter of Kazakhstan, is sent on a noble mission to America, where he must

learn some important lessons from this prosperous, advanced country. Yet Borat’s bluntness and political incorrectness soon reveal a nation that isn’t all that enlightened. It’s hard to know what exactly to make of Borat, another imaginative alter-ego of Sacha Baron Cohen, who also created white rapper Ali G. Some may find his insolent behaviour towards his ignorant victims shocking; others will find it hilarious. Either way, you’ll leave the theatre utterly exhausted. (BS) 84 min. Pathé De Munt Buddha’s Lost Children A feature-length documentary film about a Thai Buddhist monk who—armed only with his faith and boxing skills—wages an inspirational battle to help orphaned children, fight drug abuse and preserve a vanishing way of life.

Followed over the course of a year by Dutch director Mark Verkerk, Abt Phra Khru Bah transforms the lives of the children he encounters through a mix-

Special screenings It’s a Wonderful Life The Frank Capra tear-jerker that grew into a Christmas classic. James Stewart stars as Gearge Baileya small-town nobody, on the brink of suicide, who believes his life is worthless. Guardian angel Henry Travers shows him how wrong he is by letting Stewart see what would have happened had he never been born. Wonderfully acted by a superb cast (Donna Reed, Beulah Bondi, Thomas Mitchell, Lionel Barrymore, Gloria Grahame) and told with a sense of image and metaphor (the use of water is especially elegant) that appears in no other Capra film. The epitome of movie sentiment and a transcendent experience. (DK) 129 min. Filmmuseum

feel-good movie, but it received a well-deserved Grand Jury Prize at Cannes.

Ja zuster, nee zuster Campy Dutch TV nostalgia from the pen of Annie MG Schmidt and composer Harry Bannink. The original, wildly popular series was broadcast 1966-68; later the VARA, to save money, erased and re-used the tapes. In 2002 it was remade as a feature film with the original songs. Ja Zuster stars musical-comedy actress Loes Luca as Zuster Klivia, who presides over a boarding house full of assorted characters. It’s fun, but you probably have to have grown up with the series to truly appreciate it. (JP) 110 min. Kriterion

The Robber Symphony A young musician, Giannino, discovers stolen money in his piano and goes on the lam, pursued by both the police and the saxophone-playing thieves, in this 1936 British surrealist film in which music (played by the London Symphony Orchestra) rather than dialogue is used to convey the action. A tremendous cult hit in the Netherlands, The Robber Symphony played at the Uitkijk well into the 1960s. In French and English with Dutch subtitles. 136 min. Rialto

Minoes As entertaining for adults as for kids,

Romance and Cigarettes John Turturro directed this oddball musical set in working class New York. Nick Murder (James Gandolfini, a.k.a. Tony Soprano) stars as a man who makes a journey into infidelity and redemption. All revolves around the repercussions of his adultery and doomed fascination with the flame-haired seductress Tula (Kate Winslet). For Kitty (Susan Sarandon), Nick’s long-suffering wife, his treachery is the final straw.

The all-star cast includes Steve Buscemi, Christopher Walken, Barbara Sukowa, Elaine Stritch and Amy Sedaris. 115 min. Rialto

this 2001 film features a deliciously dizzy Carice van Houten as a cat trapped in a human body.

Cabaretier Theo Maassen is the hapless reporter who takes her in; Pierre Bokma is the industrialist whose cat-lover pose is revealed as part of a devious plot. In Dutch. (JP) 89 min. Kriterion

Oldboy In this second instalment of Chan-wook

Park’s Vengeance trilogy, a seemingly innocent Korean salaryman is kidnapped and held prisoner for 15 years. One might expect the good man to hold a bit of a grudge, so it’s no surprise when Dae-Su Oh goes on a rightous rampage of revenge in his quest to find out the who and why of his capture. When he eventually unmasks his nemesis, he’s drawn deeper into a game in which all the odds are against him. Although the influences of Miike, Fincher and Lynch are obvious, director Park manages to combine them, with remarkable vision and excellent craftmanship, into a refreshing tale of revenge gone wrong. Oldboy is not exactly a

Our Man in Havana The Filmmuseum’s Carol Reed retrospective continues with this 1960 satire, adapted by Graham Greene from his own novel.

The film always seems to be verging on high comedy but never quite makes it; still, there are some gentle laughs in this story of a British vacuum cleaner salesman (Alec Guinness in high form), recruited by British intelligence to spy on the Batista regime in Cuba, who finds he never has anything to report to London and so begins fabricating information. 111 min. Filmmuseum

Sympathy for Mr Vengeance Bless the wicked

hearts at the Filmmuseum for purchasing Chanwook Park’s third instalment of his Vengeance trilogy, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, and for using it as an excuse to screen all three of these pearls for us film-buffed swine. Mr Vengeance kicked off the series with a bang, as we’re introduced to a deaf man whose sister desperately needs a kidney transplant that he can’t afford.

When his hare-brained scheme to kidnap the daughter of his former employer backfires, the film spirals into a cruel but beautifully shot circle of violence and retaliation.

Snowboard Filmnacht Snowboard evening featuring a Swiss action film, Snowbored, a travel documentary, Boardbagged, and a late-night afterparty. Kriterion

The Third Man This Carol Reed classic was once

praised as a sharply realistic study of American idealism crushed by European cynicism, but today it’s the extravagant falsity that entertains, from Orson Welles’ ‘cuckoo clock’ speech to the crazy camera angles and madly expressionist lighting. It isn’t easy when you’re up against the likes of Reed, author Graham Greene, and producer David O Selznick, but Welles still manages to dominate this 1949 film, both as an actor and as a stylistic influence. (DK) 115 min. Filmmuseum White Christmas This 1954 musical is a semiremake of Holiday Inn (1942), which introduced the title song. Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye are a pair of nightclub performers who use their song-and-dance act to help an old army acquaintance make a go of his resort hotel. Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen provide the love interest in this antiseptically cheerful holiday film. Michael Curtiz directed, a long way from Casablanca. (DK) 120 min. Filmmuseum Winterschläfer This stylized, vaguely mystical 1997 melodrama by Tom Tykwer (Perfume) tracks five residents of a cozy Alpine ski resort as their lives become intertwined during the Christmas season.

The characters—two housemates, their boyfriends, and a farmer looking for an errant driver—seem fated to meet, driven by lust, loneliness, jealousy, spite or cabin fever. Yet Tykwer weighs down the thin story line with coincidences and premonitions, using visual cues to segue from one event to the next when narrative logic fails him. Neither the splashy visuals nor a soundtrack that mixes punchy pop music with neo-medieval chants can gloss over the film’s superficial emotions. In German with Dutch subtitles. (TS) 122 min. Kriterion (T)raumschiff Surprise/Star Wreck: In the Pirkinning See Short List, p. .12.

Amsterdam Weekly

28 ture of compassion and tough love. In Thai with Dutch subtitles. 96 min. Kriterion The Cave of the Yellow Dog In this follow-up to Byambasuren Davaa’s spellbinding international hit The Story of the Weeping Camel, the Mongolian film-maker sticks to the kind of down-to-earth docudrama she does best. Once again exploring the nomadic aspects of Mongolian life through a real family, she documents their everyday existence in a quiet, monotonous world. The film is brought to life by the family’s six-year-old daughter when she finds a dog. In Mongolian with Dutch subtitles. (SM) 95 min. Rialto Déjà Vu: D-4 After a terrorist explosion kills the passengers on a New Orleans ferry, an ATF agent (Denzel Washington), discovering that a form of time travel can send him back to the event, resolves to save the life of a woman (Paula Patton) killed shortly before, as well as prevent the explosion. The story recalls Otto Preminger’s Laura (1944) in its romantic moodiness and has some of the philosophical poignance common to tales of time travel. But the SF hardware

(enjoyable) and thriller mechanics (mechanical) of this Jerry Bruckheimer slam-banger don’t mesh very well with reflection, and the action trumps most evidence of thought. (JR) 128 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé City, Pathé De Munt

Déjà Vu

The Departed Director Martin Scorsese’s latest finds him once again in top form and at home in his favourite subjects: the underworld, money and clan loyalty. The Departed is based on the 2002 Hong Kong thriller Infernal Affairs and set in Irish-Italian South Boston. Mob boss Frank Costello (an exuberantly evileyed Jack Nicholson) runs the show; Matt Damon, as Costello’s police department mole, alternates between

a poker face and a winning smile. But the police have their own double agent, Leonardo DiCaprio, whose slow disintegration is at the heart of this drama about doubling and deception. (JH) 152 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé City, Pathé De Munt, Pathé Tuschinski Dhoom 2 Jai Dixit (Abhishek Bachchan) and Ali Akbar Fateh Khan (Uday Chopra) are back to chase another thief, Mr A (Hrithik Roshan), in this sequel to Dhoom. A master of disguise, Mr A works alone and on an international scale. He is impossible to catch, so Jai enlists the help of Sunehri (Aishwarya Rai), another thief. But after winning Mr A’s trust, Sunehri falls in love with him.

Whose side will she choose? Directed by Sanjay Gadhvi, Dhoom 2 offers the viewers a chance to get lost in a story with daring stunts, hi-tech gadgets, diverse chase scenes with narrow escapes, eye candy and, of course, love. In Hindi with Dutch subtitles. (SD) Pathé ArenA Dutch Touch Ulrike Helmer’s documentary celebrates the state of hiphop NL style, as she follows three players of different stature and style over the course of a year.

Brainpower is the fully arrived professional, the DuvelDuvel collective represent raw shit from Rotterdam and

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007 Jay Colin embodies the struggling young artist from Amsterdam Zuidoost. Helmer specialises in street culture, and this is a film made with passion—for the game, the truth and the players. Though it has its occasional longueurs, among them lurk some mighty fine surprises. In Dutch. 76 min. Het Ketelhuis, Kriterion Eragon Farm boy Eragon (Edward Speleers) happens upon a dragon’s egg and discovers he has been chosen to defend his land against the evil king Galbatorix (John Malkovich) in this adaptation of wunderkind Christopher Paolini’s best-selling medieval adventure fantasy. Sienna Guillory plays the elf Arya, the guardian of the dragon’s egg; Rachel Weisz is the voice of the dragon Saphira. 104 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé City, Pathé De Munt

Eragon

Flushed Away A collaboration between DreamWorks Animation and Aardman Features, this delightful computer animation is less twee than Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit, with more action. A posh pet mouse (voiced by Hugh Jackman) is booted down a Kensington sewer to an underground replica of London where he helps an intrepid rat (Kate Winslet) battle a loathsome gangland toad (Ian McKellen). Bill Nighy and Andy Serkis are the toad’s dim henchmen, and Jean Reno is hilarious as Le Frog, leader of some inept Gallic ninjas. But they’re all upstaged by the Greek chorus of stem-eyed slugs, who emit sound effects and chirp pop standards with insolent glee. (AG) 82 min. Het Ketelhuis, Kriterion, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt Forever Heddy Honigmann’s latest film documents the life of the Parisian cemetery Père-Lachaise. But the film-maker can’t seem to make up her mind whether to make a film about Proust (one of the cemetery’s residents), a statement on art versus mortality, or a portrait of the living visitors. Her quiet style of filming, using long shots and a static camera to allow the action to unfold, has worked well for her in the past, when you felt she had a connection with the people she filmed. But in Forever, none of these approaches brings the talented Honigmann onto familiar ground.

In French with Dutch or English subtitles. (MM) 95 min. Het Ketelhuis, De Uitkijk Frozen Land This Finnish combination of Magnolia and Pulp Fiction shows us a downward spiral of violence and grief that begins when irresponsible youngster Niko prints out a fake 500-euro note and tries to use it. Each time the note is passed to a new person, the situation gets worse. The ingenious thing: you can’t really tell when exactly director Aku Louhimies shifts into darker gear—until you find yourself suffocating in intense human drama. The oppressive cinematography will confirm your prejudices about Finland: it’s very cold and very white indeed, and the snow is just there to make up for the colour of its inhabitants’ souls. In Finnish with Dutch subtitles. (MP) 130 min. Filmmuseum The Holiday Iris lives in London and faces the same problem as Amanda in Los Angeles: men. In order to get away from it all they switch houses for two weeks, only to find out that love can’t be avoided. Iris runs into local film composer Miles (Jack Black) and Amanda hooks up with Graham (Jude Law), Iris’ brother. Director Nancy Meyers has Bridget Jones (Iris) meeting Posh Spice (Amanda) in a bittersweet Christmas fairy tale that works mainly thanks to its incredibly charismatic cast. Winslet once again shows her excellent range, Diaz outdoes herself and, for once, Jack Black truly seems a nice guy. Check your cynical self at the door and enjoy Hollywood at its cutest. (MP) 135 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé City, Pathé De Munt, Pathé Tuschinski Into Great Silence A first look into the lives of the monks of the Grande Chartreuse—the mother house of the legendary Carthusian Order in the French Alps— this documentary by Philip Groening serves to remind that there’s more to silence than just silence. There are no interviews, no commentary and no music, other than the monks’ song, yet this is an eye- and ear-opening piece. Groening spent six months alone in the monastery, filming daily rhythms and rituals as the monks went about their slow-paced business. In French/Latin with Dutch subtitles. 164 min. Rialto Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek/Crusade in Jeans An English-language film, with a largely Dutch cast, of Thea Beckman’s beloved Dutch children’s book.

Fifteen-year-old Dolf (Joe Flynn) misuses a time machine and gets sent back to the 13th century, just in time to get caught up in the Children’s Crusade. Veteran director Ben Sombogaart seems to have had trouble getting this international produc-

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

29 Take a gander inside this panda.

Beeld en Geluid Experience is a swanky new fix for the televisually addicted in the palpitating heart of media land.

SOUND AND VISION IN HILVERSUM

By Luuk van Huët As I trudged through the rain-drenched centre of Hilversum on my way to the Mediapark, that palpitating heart of Dutch television, I felt slightly grouchy.

The new public transport schedule had messed up my own timetable, and now I was forced to rely on my own bumbling sense of (mis)direction.

I turned a corner and my spirits lifted when I was faced with the sight of the swanky new Instituut voor Beeld en Geluid, which also houses the tantalisingly entitled Beeld en Geluid Experience. The Technicolor glass facade of this impressive building would not look out of place as the set of a cyberpunk film: I could imagine hovercars flitting about, to and fro.

Staggering through the entrance and shaking off the raindrops, I was not greeted by a flick-flacking leotard-clad Darryl Hannah—alas—but by scores of spry seniors and a gaggle of chattering, smartly dressed fillies accompanied by lanky, sullen boys.

I received a warm welcome from the friendly receptionist, before being whisked away by Antal van Elsen, the Instituut voor Beeld en Geluid’s friendly,

neighbourhood publicity person. Even though we just met, she gave me a ring on the spot. Van Elsen exorcised my abiding fear of commitment by explaining: ‘This ring contains a microchip, with which you’ll be able to personalise your own Beeld en Geluid experience.’

With a newly acquired rock on my finger, I logged onto one of the waiting workstations.

After entering my name, date of birth and email address, I was offered the choice of picking a host to guide me through the experience. Feeling multicultural, I picked the Girls from Halal, but other boob tube bigshots included Reinout Oerlemans, Sascha de Boer or even Rembrandt, for the English speaking audience. All in all, there are more than a dozen familiar faces to guide you on your way.

When I enquired whether there had been any start-up hassles, Van Elsen replied: ‘Queen Beatrix consecrated the institute on 1 December and we’ve been open to the public since the second.

Apart from a few installations that occasionally malfunction, we’ve had little trouble so far.’

After mounting a second flight of monumental blue stairs that look like

they’ve been carved out of stone, we entered a cacophony of sound and sights.

A cavernous cathedral filled to the brim with contraptions and doodas to worship at this altar of popular culture brought a manic glee to this particular couch potato. It was like NEMO, on acid!

Van Elsen pointed out several eye catching vistas: ‘Our exhibition is organised thematically. For instance, over here is the Sterrenshow, which deals with celebrities. Over there is the Betovering, in which you can learn everything there is to know about special effects. And these egg-shaped huts give you the chance to watch a compilation of shows from your childhood, based on your date of birth.’

After ascending another two flights of stairs—who says TV is bad for your health?—we reach the top level. Van Elsen brings to my notice an aspect of the Experience that will cause any cinephile to salivate: ‘It a bit hard to see now, but we have the largest movable screen in Europe, measuring forty-two by four metres. On the stroke of every hour, it unrolls itself to show a fiveminute long film, dealing with the impact of media.’

But it’s not just fun and games, as the Instituut is also the biggest archive of Dutch audiovisual heritage, as Van Elsen attests: ‘We have more than seven hundred thousand hours of television in our archives. About ten thousand hours are incorporated in the Beeld en Geluid Experience.’ In order to see everything in the archives, you’d have to watch TV non-stop for almost 80 years, while the Experience itself would warrant about one-and-a-half years of viewing pleasure.

With these mind-boggling numbers rattling my cranium, I quickly set out to explore and experience. I was tipped off

that Amsterdam-based creative collective Captain Video contributed two Wild Rides in the shape of a panda bear and a dolphin. Not put off by the ominous sounding warnings that single out pregnant women or heart patients, I slunk inside the panda and found myself seated in a comfy chair. Using my magic ring, I activated the machine and found myself transported to a faraway, exotic locale, to be soothed by the sights of nature. I jolted upright when all of a sudden, my chair started to gyrate and tilt.

After the initial surprise, I enjoyed myself immensely. The eggs of the Kijkbuiskinderen exhibition are an interesting idea, but by covering rather broad patches of TV history, I was treated to a lot of material that was broadcast before I was born, although Sesame Street and Ome Willem’s mention of a shit sandwich made me wax nostalgic for a moment.

While assembling my own news broadcast at a booth of the Dit is het Nieuws territory, lights suddenly fade and a booming soundtrack reverberates through the hall. The large screen slowly unfurls and in an eerie coincidence, Rutger Hauer appears as a grizzled explorer who uncovers a magical glowing orb that contains the history of Dutch television.

To get a little in-depth perspective on the Beeld en Geluid Experience, I tracked down the elusive chaps at the aforementioned Captain Video to get the lowdown on the hoedown. I got a hold of Kees Fopma, who was responsible for editing the Wild Ride footage. Fopma explains: ‘The whole idea of moving the chairs in the cabin was already there from the beginning. The illusion of movement through the swaying of the chair is much bigger in your mind than it is in real life.’

His colleague Oscar Luyer had this to say about the Experience: ‘We were approached by Northern Lights and Kiss the Frog to work on the design and the motion graphics, which means all the moving images, leaders and bumpers you’ll get to see on any of the one hundred and sixty screens. We started out in March of 2005 and have been working hard until finishing up last month. I haven’t seen the installations in conjunction with an audience, to test the interactivity.’

This particular furniture ’tater can vouch for the addictiveness of the Beeld en Geluid Experience. If you stay too long, you might grow roots.

Nederlands Instituut voor Beeld en Geluid, Media Park, Sumatralaan 45, Hilversum, 035 677 5555 (Tue-Sun 10.00-21.00), €11, http://portal.beeldengeluid.nl

30 tion right; the result is uneven, though entertaining. At least it’s a chance to see a movie starring both Emily Watson (Breaking the Waves) and the venerable Belgian character actor Jan Decleir. Cinema Amstelveen, Het Ketelhuis, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt Leonard Cohen: I’m Your Man The trick of a true ladies’ man is that he knows how to act out the part of a sad and lonely one. No woman with a heart can resist that. Leonard Cohen knows the trick: he has written numerous sad songs and slept with numerous beautiful women. Just admit it, a line like ‘I said that I was curious, I never said that I was brave’ (from ‘So Long, Marianne’) is a very romantic way of saying, ‘Sorry babe, I found someone more interesting than you.’ And now, in his seventies, the Canadian bard has had a beautiful blonde, Lian Lunson, shoot a documentary about him. The film contains footage of a recent concert in Sydney, as well as old material and interviews, both with Cohen himself and artists such as Nick Cave, Beth Orton and Rufus and Martha Wainwright, who all talk about his influence on their music. (MM) 105 min. Het Ketelhuis

Little Miss Sunshine

Little Miss Sunshine In this offbeat comedy, a

fractious family of misfits piles into an ailing VW bus and sets off for California so the youngest (Abigail Breslin) can compete in a children’s beauty pageant. Suffering each other along the way are her irascible grandfather (Alan Arkin), suicidal uncle (Steve Carell), Nietzsche-obsessed teenage brother (Paul Dano), beleaguered mom (Toni Collette), and abrasive dad (Greg Kinnear), a motivational speaker whose nine-step programme for success constantly aggravates the others’ sense of failure. As scripted by Michael Arndt, this isn’t much more than a glorified sitcom, but it deftly dramatises our conflicting desires for individuality and an audience to applaud it. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris directed. (JJ) 102 min. Kriterion, The Movies, Pathé Tuschinski

Amsterdam Weekly

Nachtrit Cool film about a taxi driver who gets caught up in the Amsterdam taxi war of 2000. Dennis (Frank Lammers) takes on a huge debt to finance his own taxi permit. Little does he know that a new law is about to come through that will make his permit absolutely worthless. With good acting, great dialogues and a convincing sex scene, the film makes perfect use of the darker side of the city. And who would have guessed that Rembrandt: The Musical star Henk Poort was such a badass? In Dutch. (LG) 104 min. Het Ketelhuis, The Movies Ober Absurdity reigns once again in Alex van Warmerdam’s latest feature, a hysterical tale about the many bizarre misfortunes of a waiter named Edgar (played by the director himself), who also happens to be the main character of a manuscript in the making. Reality and fiction coalesce even further when the badgered Edgar complains to his creator about all his mishaps and demands restitution. Van Warmerdam’s characteristic grim sense of humour and the many hilarious guest appearances by renowned Dutch thespians make this a film you’re not likely to forget. In Dutch.

(BS) 97 min. Het Ketelhuis, Kriterion Perfume: The Story of a Murderer One of the most expensive European films ever produced, Perfume, based on Patrick Süskind’s book, is a sinister fairy tale about Jean-Baptiste Grenouille (Ben Whishaw), who is born with an unusually sensitive nose and becomes obsessed to the point of murder with making the perfect scent. As long as you’re not allergic to Tom Tykwer’s mysticism, it’s an incredibly sensual film.

With Dustin Hoffman as master perfumer Giuseppe Baldini and Alan Rickman as the father of endangered love interest Rachel Hurd-Wood. In English 147 min.

Cinecenter, Kriterion, The Movies, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt, Pathé Tuschinski Le Petit Lieutenant Xavier Beauvois’ fourth film (2005) is an unusual police drama, made with a documentarist’s eye for real-life detail. A young police officer is assigned to the team of commandante Vaudieu (Nathalie Baye); together they attempt to solve the murder of a homeless Parisian. In French with Dutch subtitles. Filmmuseum Pretpark Nederland Director Michiel van Erp explores a weird phenomenon the Dutch call ‘leisure time’.

According to some, the Dutch are maniacally battling the boredom that lurks in every corner—whether it’s by attending a women’s magazine day out, shopping in giant mall Batavia Stad or watching the Gay Parade.

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007

It’s refreshing to have a Dutchman self-reflect on habits without getting exploitative or malicious. The film is a bit overlong, yet it never gets boring. And apparently that’s what Dutch life is all about. In Dutch. (BS) 90 min. Het Ketelhuis

Seven Invisible Men A group of Russian dropouts take a long, alcohol-sodden and largely silent road trip across the Crimean steppes, stunningly filmed by Lithuanian director Sharunas Bartas in full Sergio Leone mode. With Dutch subtitles. Rialto

The Queen Helen Mirren’s flinty performance as Elizabeth II is getting all the attention, but equally impressive is Peter Morgan’s insightful script for this UK drama, which quietly teases out the social, political, and historical implications of the 1997 death of Diana, Princess of Wales. Shortly after the shocking news reaches Britain, Prime Minister Tony Blair (Michael Sheen) scores a PR coup by memorialising Diana as the ‘people’s princess’, while the royal family’s obstinate silence angers their grieving subjects. But Blair is more sympathetic to Elizabeth than many of his staffers, and he instinctively understands what she cannot: that in the tabloid age, celebrities are dangerously usurping the monarch’s hold on the public imagination. (JJ) 97 min.

Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé ArenA, Pathé Tuschinski

The Story of the Weeping Camel An ethnographic drama focusing on a family of Mongolian herders in the Gobi Desert who face a crisis when one of their camels refuses to nurse its albino newborn. In Mongolian with Dutch subtitles. (JJ) 90 min. Rialto La Tourneuse de pages A young, working-class girl with a talent for the piano sees her chance at further education ruined by the thoughtless arrogance of a well-known concert pianist. Ten years later, she goes to work for a lawyer who turns out to be the husband of the woman who changed her life. A taut thriller with a strong performance from Déborah François as the embittered Mélanie. In French with Dutch subtitles. 85 min. Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé Tuschinski

The Science of Sleep Michael Gondry’s latest flick

is a bit more lightweight than his previous efforts, but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing. The Science of Sleep is a rumination on love and longing, in this case the love felt by the dopey Stéphane for his lanky neighbour Stéphanie, which he expresses by presenting all kinds of inventive doodads for her. While Stéphane is a cocksure and confident dude in his cardboard-riddled dreams, he turns into a clunky kid in real life. Gondry’s inventive low-fi aesthetic is always appealing, as are the two leads, Gael García Bernal and Charlotte Gainsbourg. In Spanish/English/French with Dutch subtitles.

(LvH) 105 min. Kriterion Scoop Woody Allen follows up his best film (Match Point) with another story set in London and starring Scarlett Johansson as an American greenhorn among the English gentry, but this mystery comedy is tired, laboured and lazy. A journalism student (Johansson), drafted by a stage magician (Allen) to take part in a vanishing act, winds up in a hidden compartment and meets the ghost of a journalist (Ian McShane), who informs her that a wealthy playboy (Hugh Jackman) may be a notorious serial killer. This is hardly Allen’s worst film (I might go with Shadows and Fog or Hollywood Ending), but he’s definitely going through the motions. The score consists of classical chestnuts (Grieg and Tchaikovsky), which Allen seems vaguely to associate with upper-class Brits. (JR) 96 min. Cinema Amstelveen

La Tourneuse de pages Unaccompanied Minors Like many holiday packages, this family comedy is most fun when it’s still wrapped: director Paul Feig created the sublime but short-lived TV series Freaks and Geeks, making his new feature film sound promising. Once the paper’s torn off, however, this tale of six kids stranded in an airport on Christmas Eve turns out to be entertaining but shticky. The sardonic humour in Freaks and Geeks grew out of the frustration and heartache of high school, but here, though there’s some emotional truth—the kids, most of them in transit from one divorced parent to another, are treated like lost luggage—most of the comedy consists of one-liners and wacky slapstick. (JJ) 89 min. Pathé ArenA The White Planet This French documentary, made for the World Wildlife Fund, means to do for the North Pole what March of the Penguins did for Antarctica. The camera ducks below the ice to film Beluga whales and into the sky to capture the aurora borealis in this portrait of the Arctic’s remarkable—and fast disappearing—diversity. 86 min. De Uitkijk

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007 Het Ketelhuis , Haarlemmerweg 8-10, 6840

FILM TIMES Thursday 21 December until Wednesday 3 January. Times are provided by cinemas and are subject to last-minute changes. Film times also at www.amsterdamweekly.nl.

De Balie Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 10, 553 5151 Roze Filmdagen Thur-Sat. Cavia Van Hallstraat 52-I, 681 1419 Roze Filmdagen Thur-Sat. Cinecenter Lijnbaansgracht 236, 623 6615 Babel Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 18.45 Perfume:The Story of a Murderer Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 15.15, 21.45, Sun also 11.00 The Queen Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 16.15, 19.15, 22.00, Sun also 11.00, 13.45 Snowcake Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 16.30, 19.15, 21.45, Sun also 11.15, 14.00 La Tourneuse de pages Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 16.15, 19.30, 21.45, Sun also 11.15, 14.00.

Cinema Amstelveen Plein 1960 2, Amstelveen, 547 5175 Baas in Eigen Bos Tues, Wed 11.00 Charlotte's Web (NL) Sat 11.00, Wed 13.00 Flushed Away (NL) Sat, Tues 13.00, Sun 11.00, Wed 15.00 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek/Crusade in Jeans Thur, Sat, Tues 15.00, Fri 20.30, Sun 13.00, Wed 15.30 Scoop Thur 20.30, Sat, Wed 19.00 Zwartboek Sat, Wed 21.00.

Filmmuseum Vondelpark 3, 589 1400 Frozen Land Thur-Sun, Tues 21.30 It's a Wonderful Life Sun 15.45, Tues 17.15, 19.45 Het Mysterie van de Zuidpool Sat, Tues, Wed 14.00 North by Northwest Sun 16.00 Our Man in Havana Thur 19.45 Le Petit Lieutenant Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 22.00, Thur also 17.15 Pettsons belofte Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed 13.45 Sympathy for Lady Vengeance daily from 28 December The Third Man Fri, Sat 17.15, 19.45, Sun 19.45 We Shall Overcome Sat 14.00 White Christmas Sat 16.00, Wed 19.45 Zwartboek Thur-Sun, Tues 18.30, Tues also 15.45, Wed 17.00.

4 Elements Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 19.45, 21.30, Fri-Sun, Tues, Wed also 16.15 Ave Maria Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed 11.45 Dutch Touch Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 18.00 Flushed Away Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed 14.00 Forever Sun, Wed 13.15 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek (NL) Sat, Tues, Wed 12.45, 15.15 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek/Crusade in Jeans Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 18.45 Leonard Cohen: I'm Your Man Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 15.45, 21.45 Mozart - Da Ponte: Le Nozze di Figaro Sun 13.00 Nachtrit Fri, Sun, Wed 17.45 Ober Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 19.45, Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed also 12.00 Pretpark Nederland Sat, Tues 13.15 Schoffies Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 17.30, Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed also 15.00 Zwartboek Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 21.15.

Kriterion Roetersstraat 170, 623 1708 An Inconvenient Truth Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 19.00 Buddha's Lost Children Thur, Fri, Sun, Wed 15.15 Dutch Touch Sat 23.45 Flushed Away Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed 13.30 Ja zuster, nee zuster Sat, Sun, Tues, Wed 14.45 Little Miss Sunshine Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 20.15 Ober Sun, Tues, Wed 18.15 Perfume:The Story of a Murderer Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 16.45, Thur, Sat, Sun, Wed 21.00 The Science of Sleep Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 22.15, Thur-Sat also 18.00 Sneak Preview Tues 22.00 Snowboard Filmnacht Fri 22.00 and 23.15 Winterschläfer Tues 15.15.

The Movies Haarlemmerdijk 159-165, 638 6016 An Inconvenient Truth Fri, Sat 23.15 Babel daily 16.45, 19.45, Sat, Sun also 12.00 Flushed Away (NL) Sat-Mon 12.30, 14.30, Wed 14.45 Lights in the Dusk daily 17.45, 21.30, Sat, Sun also 13.30, Fri, Sat also 23.30 Little Miss Sunshine Sat, Sun 14.45, Fri, Sat also 0.20 Nachtrit Fri, Sat 0.40 Perfume:The Story of a Murderer daily 16.30, 19.15, 22.00 Pettsons belofte Sat-Mon 14.15, Wed 15.15 The Queen daily 19.00, 21.15, Sat, Sun also 12.15, Snowcake daily 16.15, 19.30 La Tourneuse de pages daily 19.45, Sat, Sun, Wed also 15.30.

Pathé ArenA ArenA Boulevard 600, 0900 1458 Casino Royale daily 14.10, 17.30, 20.00, 20.40, 21.30, Thur, Sat-Wed also 18.10, Thur also 12.25 Charlotte's Web daily 13.45, 16.30, Sat-Wed also 10.25 Charlotte's Web (NL) Fri-Wed 14.25, 16.45, Sat-Wed also 10.50, Fri also 12.20

Déjà Vu: D-4 daily 12.55, 15.50, 18.45, 20.50, 21.45, Sat-Wed also 10.05 The Departed daily 21.10 Dhoom 2 Thur 12.35, 16.20, 20.15 Eragon daily 14.45, 17.45, 19.20, 20.10, 21.55, Sat-Wed also 10.40, Thur also 12.00, 14.25, 16.55 Flushed Away daily 15.40, Thur, Fri, 13.35 Flushed Away (NL) Sat-Wed 10.10, 11.10, 12.10, 13.10, 14.10, 15.10, 16.10, Fri also 13.20, 15.25 Happy Feet daily 13.15, 15.45, 18.20, Sat-Wed also 10.45 Happy Feet (IMAX) daily 19.00, 21.35 Happy Feet (NL) Sat-Wed 10.15, 12.50, 15.30, Fri also 13.00, 15.35, 18.15 The Holiday daily 14.00, 17.15, 18.15, 20.20, 21.15 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek (NL) Sat-Wed 10.00, 12.45 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek/Crusade in Jeans daily 12.30, 15.20, 18.25 Perfume:The Story of a Murderer daily 21.00 Plop in de stad Sat-Wed 10.35, 12.15 Prettige kerst, Mr. Moose Sat-Wed 10.20 The Queen daily 18.40 Sneak Preview Tues 21.00 Unaccompanied Minors Sat-Wed 11.05 ’N Beetje Verliefd daily 17.40, 19.50, 22.00, Thur, Fri also 12.05, 15.00.

Pathé City Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 15-19, 623 4570 Casino Royale daily 17.30, 20.40 Charlotte's Web (NL) Fri-Wed 13.15, 16.00 Déjà Vu: D-4 daily 18.30, 21.30, Thur also 15.15 The Departed daily 20.00 Eragon daily 16.30, 19.10, 21.45 Flushed Away (NL) Fri-Wed 12.45 Happy Feet daily 14.30, 17.10, Fri-Wed also 12.00 Happy Feet (NL) daily 15.00, Fri-Wed also 12.30 The Holiday daily 14.45, 18.00, 21.00 Plop in de stad daily 14.15, Fri-Wed also 12.15.

Pathé De Munt Vijzelstraat 15, 0900 1458 Babel daily 16.45, 19.55, Sat also 23.00 Borat Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 16.00, 18.10, 20.10, 22.15, Thur also 13.50, Sat 17.30, 19.35, 21.40, 23.45 Casino Royale daily 14.15, 17.30, 20.00, 20.45, Sat-Wed also 11.10, Sat also 23.10 Charlotte's Web daily 12.50, 15.15, 17.40 Charlotte's Web (NL) Fri-Wed 13.15, 15.30, Sat-Wed also 10.50 Déjà Vu: D-4 daily 14.20, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 18.30, 21.40, Sat-Wed also 11.30, Sat also 19.00, 22.10 The Departed daily 17.15, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 20.30, Sat also 21.00 Eragon daily 12.15, 13.25, 14.40, 17.05, 19.30, 22.00, Thur, Fri, Mon-Wed also 15.45, Thur, Wed also 21.20, Sat-Wed also 10.45, Sat also 23.20 Flushed Away daily 12.35, 14.45, Sat-Wed also 10.15 Flushed Away (NL) Fri-Wed 13.40, 15.50, Sat-Wed also 11.40 Happy Feet Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 13.45, 16.25, 19.00, 21.30, SunWed also 11.15, Sat 10.10, 12.35, 15.10, 17.50, 20.24, 23.05

31 Happy Feet (NL) daily 13.00, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 15.45, Sat-Wed also 10.25, Sat also 16.00 The Holiday Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 14.30, 17.45, 21.00, Sat-Wed also 11.00, Sat also 14.00, 17.15, 20.15, 23.30 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek (NL) Fri 12.00, 14.40, Sat 11.20, 14.10, Sun-Wed 11.50, 14.35 Kruistocht in Spijkerbroek/Crusade in Jeans daily 18.00, 20.50, Thur also 12.10, 15.10 Perfume: The Story of a Murderer daily 18.00, Thur, Fri, SunWed also 21.15, Thur also 12.00, 15.00, Sat also 21.30 Plop in de stad Fri-Wed 12.20, Fri, Sun-Wed also 14.05, SatWed also 10.40, Sat also 14.10, 15.45 Prettige kerst, Mr. Moose Sat-Wed 10.10 Saw III Sat 23.40 Zwartboek Thur, Fri, Mon-Wed 18.10, Fri, Sun-Tues also 21.10, Sat, Sun also 16.00, Sat also 19.15 ’N Beetje Verliefd 21.

Pathé Tuschinski Reguliersbreestraat 34, 0900 1458 Casino Royale Thur-Sat 15.15, 18.30, 21.45, Thur, Fri also 12.00, Sat also 12.10, Sun-Wed 14.30, 18.00, 21.30, Mon-Wed also 11.00 Charlotte's Web (NL) Sat-Wed 10.00, 12.20, 14.40 The Departed daily 20.45, Thur, Fri also 12.20 Flushed Away (NL) Sat-Wed 10.45, 13.00 Happy Feet (NL) Sat-Wed 10.10, 12.45, 15.30 The Holiday Thur, Fri 12.00, 15.00, 18.00, 21.15, Sat-Wed 10.45, 14.00, 17.15, 20.30 Little Miss Sunshine daily 18.15, Thur, Fri also 15.45 Perfume: The Story of a Murderer Thur-Fri 16.30, 20.00, Fri also 13.00, Sat-Wed 10.30, 13.45, 17.00, 20.15 The Queen daily 22.00, Sat-Wed also 17.00, 19.30 Snowcake Thur, Fri 13.15, 16.15, 21.30, Sat-Wed 15.30, 21.00 La Tourneuse de pages Thur, Fri 19.00, Sat-Wed 18.30.

Rialto Ceintuurbaan 338, 676 8700 4 Elements Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 20.00, 21.45, Fri-Sun, Wed also 16.00 The Cave of the Yellow Dog Sun 11.15 Garpastum Sat, Sun, Wed 16.15, Sun also 11.30 Harvest Time Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 21.15, Sat also 13.15 Into Great Silence Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 18.15, Fri-Sun, Wed also 15.00 Kebab Connection Fri, Sat 23.00 The Robber Symphony Sun 11.00 Romance and Cigarettes Fri 16.15 Seven Invisible Men Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 19.15, 21.30, Sat, Sun also 14.00 The Story of the Weeping Camel Sun 13.15.

De Uitkijk Prinsengracht 452, 623 7460 After the Wedding Thur, Sun-Wed 21.00 Forever daily 17.00 Roze Filmdagen Thur-Sat The White Planet Sun-Wed 19.00 Zwartboek Sun-Tues 14.00.

Amsterdam Weekly

32

Fish, rice very nice Sushi Me Oude Leliestraat 7, 627 7043 Open Daily 14.00-22.00 Cash, PIN Relax, Comrade. There is no need to check out the delicious items in this sushi bar with your Geiger counter. Freshness is the watchword in Sushi Me, along with style, simplicity and elegance. Located opposite lunchroom Foodism, with the chocolates-to-die-for palace Puccini nearby, this place is worth a visit. Especially as Christmas charges towards us like a runaway gravy train, puffing and panting and lugging loads of luscious goodies, entreating us gluttonous mortals to pig out. What aromatic visions we have!

Menus are pored over. Restaurant bookings made. What are we going to eat? Where?

But before all that begins in earnest, what about something healthy and light? For me, nibbling freshly made sushi and sashimi as a stress-free, relaxed munch is very appealing.

Especially when I don’t have to make it myself— I lack the necessary expertise and frankly, I am lazy. It would also make a great starter and, thank heavens, Sushi Me offer catering, party and delivery services. It makes hosting so much easier.

Their brochure offers subtle, warm humour alongside information about the origins of sushi and the etiquette of eating it. It’s a very professional and comprehensive piece of literature.

The imagery reflects respectful dedication to abundant nature and how to enhance the refined Japanese eating experience.

Sushi and sashimi combinations, subtle

THE UNDERCOVER GLUTTON It was hot enough to make my eyes and nose run and my scalp prickle, as my fingers manipulated the chopsticks, popping morsels into my chewing maw. flavours to titillate the eye and taste bud. Sake, anyone? The 17th century poet Basho wrote a haiku about rice wine: The man drinks the flask,

The second drinks the first, The third drinks the man.

The menu prices range from a very reasonable €7.90 to €21.50, or you can order by the

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007

piece. It’s all made fresh on the premises—and to please the eye. What a tranquil setting for post-work R and R. The decor is trendy, yet understated.

My mouth watered for Sushi Me’s wares once more. What were rivulets, become a roaring torrent, threatening to rise up to Mount Fuji height and drag me under.

So there I lurked, a hooked-fingered gargoyle, anxiously waiting for my treats to arrive. I had ordered Combi Menu 3, which comes with three maki pickles—nori seaweed wrapped around sweet-and-sour vinegared rice with either raw fish or vegetable at the centre. There are also three ‘in and out’ tunas, with the rice on the outside. There’s some nigiri—raw fish balanced on a bier of rice—and some sake to wash it down with. The explosive green wasabi horseradishmustard hybrid hides under pale pickled ginger.

It was hot enough to make my eyes and nose run and my scalp prickle, as my fingers manipulated the chopsticks, popping morsels into my churning, chewing maw. Wonderful stuff, this mixture of seaweed, rice, fish and vegetables, all finished off with sesame seeds. The combination of textures was great, as well. Crunchy bites from the pickled radish contrast with the softness of the fresh fish: tuna, salmon, mackerel, prawn, each covering an oblong of rice.

All was silent, except for the little grunts and moans that delightful feeding exudes. My head began to spin, like air currents moving the clouds you see depicted on blue porcelain. My sake helped a face-splitting grin break through as the Rising Sun reflecting on a sea of burnished gold.

Could I eat this everyday? No, although it’s healthy, low in cholesterol and all those other things, I am too much of a decadent Westerner to turn my fat, hairy back on Italian and French food. So sue me, if you disagree about a diet of nigiri. Life’s too short. Enjoy!

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007

WEEKLY CLASSIFIEDS Ads are free, space permitting. They will be posted both to the paper and online. Guaranteed placement is available for a small fee; see our website for details. Ads may be published in English, het Nederlands or whatever language is best for you to communicate your message. How to submit an ad: via our website at www.amsterdamweekly.nl, by fax at 020 620 1666 or post to Amsterdam Weekly, De Ruyterkade 106, 1011 AB Amsterdam. Deadline: Monday at 12.00, the week of publication.

AD OF THE WEEK STUPID AMERICANVisiting Amsterdam has been an illuminating education. I thank the beings of the city for this lesson - being kind and showing love is better than being correct.

HOUSING OFFERED AMSTEL RIVER Ground floor, 2 large rooms, spacious garden, internet, DVD, UPC Film Net, fully and classically furnished. Located on Amstel River, beautiful view. Walking distance to Amstel Station. Suitable for one person or couple. Available immediately. €900 all incl. One month deposit. Call 06 1294 1029.

BEAUTIFUL MAISONETTE apt in A’dam centre. 95m2, new kitchen, balcony to the south, €1200/mth excl. Available immediately. Contact Thomas +49 163 924 8588.

2-RM APT OFFERED Central A’dam. To rent to working person. €800 (incl utilities). Unfurnished, needs some paint but in v.good condition. No registration possible. Longer period possible. Stove, fridge and gas

heater available. Email anand.essed@hotmail.com.

Tel. 0643543098 APT FOR RENT 2-room apt. Furnished with shower. €950pm incl. South city. Registration possible. Call 06 2124 1858.

APT FOR RENT Ams Zeeburg.

Freshly decorated fully furnished apt for rent from Dec-April. 2 beds, kitchen, living and bathroom, free parking. €650 all inc. Call 06 1033 7501.

ENGLISH TEACHER Native English teacher without accent required by adult (intermediate level) and also by 10 y.o. boy (beginner). We live in Amstelveen. Contact shujiokada@aol.com.

100S OF APARTMENTS available in A’dam immediately.

From €450 p.m. www.xpatrentals.com/offers HOLIDAY HOMELarge house in Pyrenees, Southern France. 3 large bedrooms, lounge, wood burning fire. 3 mins from ski lifts, 16 pistes, walking/cycling routes. Stunning location. Contact Jane 0033 4 6831 2295 /

jane_finniss@hotmail.co.uk.

HOUSING WANTED SHORT TERM RENTAL Single prof male looking to rent furnished apt in A’dam for 2 or 3 months starting early Jan. Please call 06 4674 3717. Email geoff.bray@intel.com.

ARTIST COUPLE Artist couple seeking work/live space.

Space/conditions unimportant.

Email museling@gmail.com.

WORK/LIVING SPACEArtist couple seeking work/living space.

Space/conditions unimportant.

Contact museling@gmail.com.

SIMPLE ROOM Single simple room for a simple price (max400euros) wanted in Ams (within the ring) from Feb till end May 2007. Contact anna.lag@tiscali.it.

ROOM WANTED Responsible, reliable 28 y.o. guy looking for room in A’dam. Max. €350 p.m.

Contact 06 4249 0235 / octavio_gomez@yahoo.com.

APT./ROOM WANTED 22 y.o. icelandic working student, male, non smoker, easy-going and desperately looking for a big

room or a nice appartment. Can pay up to 550 euros. Contact me in phone: 0616165936 or e-mail: giu@badtemperdesign.com. Thanks!

SINGLE ROOM REQUIREDYoung man looking for small single room in A’dam immediately for low montly rate. Contact hellopal30@yahoo.com.

GOING ON HOLIDAY? Or just a room to spare? Furnished room / small apt wanted for 1 jan-28 Feb or part of that time (dates flexible) by honest / reliable Swedish writer and PhD student who will work in A’dam. Everything considered but Centrum or close preferred. Kind Regards.

Contact noaklin@hotmail.com.

HOUSING TO SHARE LOOKING FOR ROOMFlat share or apt wanted for 24 y.o. professional. €350-€450 p.m.

Long or short term. I am clean, responsible and easy going.

Please call 06 1921 3699.

OTHER SPACES PHOTO STUDIO TO RENT for amateur and prof photographers. Can also be used as

33

meeting or gathering space.

100m2, €150/day. Also possible to rent photo equipment.

Studio has high ceilings, good natural light and located on WG Plein, adjacent to Overtoom.

For appt and more info, contact D. Ingel on 06 2883 4224.

MENTOR STUDENTS? Are you working as professional artist?

Would you like to volunteer mentoring students of audio visual department at Gerit Rietveld?

For more info email short presentation and CV to m.kruyver@ rietveldacademie.nl.

MOTORBIKE PARKINGI am looking for a dry place to park my motorbike. Ideal place has easy street access and is located in A’dam Oud West, but please offer all! Thnx! Email patrick@ amsterdamweekly.nl.

PART-TIME JOB Callers needed to contact advertising agencies for The Collective. French and Dutch advantageous. Send CVs to info@thecollectiveeurope .com.

CONSULTING ROOM Consulting room for rent in medical centre in central A’dam, Jordaan area, for (para) medics.

From march 2007. Contact huisartsen@planet.nl.

WORK OFFERED TRANSLATION WORK Company looking for native Czech, Romanian, Turkish and Greek people who speak fluent English for part-time translation job. If interested, write to michal@ staff.onehello.nl.

COMPUTER HANDYMAN Company looking for part-time administrator of computer network in small office. Tasks include formatting, installing programs, virus protection and other similar tasks. If interested, write to michal@staff.onehello.nl.

TULIPANYAre you thinking about starting a business? Do you have a business but administration and papers are not your thing? Call Tulipany on 061021 8271 or send an email to gierkelder@hotmail.com.

IT JOBS IN NLWe have over 650 IT and technical support jobs for non-Dutch speakers all over NL. www.xpatjobs.com.

PROFESSIONAL ARTIST? Would you like to voluntarily mentor students of the audiovisual department of Gerit Rietveld? For more info email a short presentation and curriculum vitae to m.kruy ver@rietveldacademie.nl.

HOUSE RENOVATIONS If you are thinking about renovating your house or office and don`t want to spend a lot, contact 06 1512 8587.

PEOPLE WANTEDFulltime/parttime.Marketing company is looking for FRENCH,ITALIAN,GERMAN,SPANISH and PORTUGUESE speakers. Good rates of pay.If you are interested please contact Simon Roe on euroview@euronet.nl or telephone (020) 6251942

WORK WANTED PORTRAIT PAINTERThe Muse is Calling! I am a painter of self revealing portraits. Insight is but a painting away. Email me to

set up a consultation for your expressionist portrait at museling@gmail.com. Be Inspired!

WORK SOUGHT Ams resident with SOFI number and good references. Call 06 2090 0819.

WORK WANTEDHelp! Dead beat husband has left me stranded in Ams. While he is out running around with his new girl I need some work. I am skilled at secretatial, organizing, cleaning, baby sitting, dog walking, music lessons/services. Contact 06 3844 4074 / romancinthearts@yahoo.com.

Marnixstraat 65D, 612 2605, Open Tues & Thur-Sun. MOVING SALE Beautiful wooden dining table + 4 chairs € 95, 2 Conran’s 2-seat designer sofas €139 each, AEG 7940 top loader compact washing machine €175. All good condition. Buyer collects from Ams Centrum. Contact jze-6f3c@iximail.com for pics.

CHRISTMAS BIKEBeautiful gold racing bike for sale. Must sell soon. Wonderful condition except front wheel. For info, contact ariotsruse@hotmail .com.

HOUSE CLEANINGDo you need a house cleaner? Then count on this hardworking, reliable and experienced young man to do it for you. Contact 06 2273 3003 / yawoache@yahoo.com.

ELECTRO DICTIONARYElectronic dictionary between Dutch and English required. Please advise products details - make, age etc plus your selling price. Contact hichao77@gmx.net.

HOUSE CLEANINGDo you need a cleaner in your home? Please contact Rich 06 1527 4966 / richiemoonbeam@yahoo.com.

STEREO EQUIPMENT Yamaha amplifier from €200, Bowers and Wilkins speakers from €140, Wharfedale speakers from €80 each, CDJ Pioneer100 (bought in August 2004) from €300.

Contact gidiking@yahoo.com.

GAY MODEL WORK25 y.o Male, defined, looking for work in the gay adult movie / photo business. Contact pabalo18@ yahoo.com.

FOR SALE WINEUnique South African qualitywines.Pricesrangefrom€4.95€15.75. We do B2B and B2C wine tastings. Website www.coza.nl or email info@ coza.nl.

COLOURFUL HOME FURNISHINGS Recently opened bright & colourful little home furnishings store. Many nice home accessories for yourself or for a gift. Opposites Attract,

COMPUTER TABLE Computer table Ikea from €30. Contact gidiking@yahoo.com.

SERVICES ENGLISH MAN WITH VAN can help with removals big or small, in or outside of country. Reasonable rates, quick service.

Contact Lee on 06 2388 2184 or isabelleandlee@planet.nl.

BEST MOVINGSERVICE IN TOWN Driver with van (10m3) or truck (40m3) available. Plus extra moving men, hoisting rope and

Amsterdam Weekly

34 elevator. Any combinations possible. Call Taco on 06 4486 4390, email info@vrachttaxi.com or check out www. vrachttaxi.com.

FRED'S PET CARE Friendly dogwalker with references, available from 07.00-20.00 to take care of your pets. Also possible to keep them during the day and overnight. Reasonable rates. Call Fred 06 1649 1359.

NEED A STUNNING WEBSITE? Experienced web designer builds professional, unique sites for very reasonable prices. Online links to past projects available.

Jordan: jordangcz@yahoo.com, 06 3034 1238.

GOING TO SPAIN? If you need a car, truck or van to go to Spain - I am on my way with many years experience! Call 06 4656 4369.

MAN TO SERVE YOU Ladies, I am will and able to fix your home, car & life etc. What a man’s good for. If you know what you need just ask me. 06 4656 4369.

EXPATRIATES COUNCELING, coaching and therapy in English and Dutch serving the Expat community. For more info www.expatriatecounseling.com or tel. 06 2824 4088.

SOUND/LIGHT RENTAL Soundandlights.nl are a professional team ready to give life to any event. The equipment we provide guarantees excellent sound and lighting for live performance shows, media events or private parties. Call 06 4273 6998 or visit www.soundandlights.nl HAIRDRESSER English mobile hairdresser in A’dam. Have your hair done in the comfort of your own home. Hair cuts starting from €12.50. Please call for an appt 773 6095.

CLEANING/IRONING Perfect cleaning and ironing. I will clean your apt regularly or one-off. I am mid-20s, very energetic with an eye for detail. Also ironing.

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007

€10 per hour. Contact 06 4286 6533 / nl.galia@gmail.com.

heartbeat, it’s the rhythm of your life. All aspiring dancers private tuition in Ballet, Jazz, Contemporary, Modern and Hip Hop. Good Rates. Contact laura2c2002@yahoo.com.Express Yourself Through Movement!

HAIRDRESSING In your home or mine. Up to the minute fantastic and creative. Cuts €20€25, Highlights €35-€50, Perms from €35. Call Andrea 06 1433 5259.

EXPAT MEDICAL Expat doctor is looking for serious health professionals(psy/physio/giro etc) to join new expat health centre in central A’dam. Contact 06 1771 4131 / huisartsen@planet.nl.

YOUR NEW WEBSITEBefore you pay for a new website, contact us for a free consultation. The result will be a 10 step plan to making the most of the internet for you or your business.

Contact edvass@hotmail.com.

ACTIVE LIVING Need a rock climbing partner or maybe a kitesurfing partner? thexyboy@rocketmail.com.

GROW YOUR BUSINESS Would you like to attract more clients and grow your business? Grab your free special report ‘7 Steps to Attract More Clients in Less Time’ plus a bonus of monthly profits tips at www.fireflycoaching.com written by Life & Business Coach Stephanie Ward.

YOU don’t have to restrain your desires or be able to hold a conversation in Sanskrit to be a saint.

See essentialmeditation.org (well, one or two words in Sanskrit may help you get a date with your favorite goddess or god).

DOCTOR SERVICE Cambridge Medical offers doctor service for expats and tourists in A’dam area. Dr. E. Cambridge, huisarts, GP offers high quality consultations, home visits and emergency prescriptions. Contact 06 2723 5380 / 427 5011 or doctor@planet.nl, Address: 30 Rapenburg, A’dam.

XPAT PAGES Looking for an English speaking plumber, dentist, lawyer etc? www.xpatpages.com BLAH BLAH BLAH Original and word perfect text for your website or print work. Affordable copy, editing & proof reading service. Contact proof.work@ gmail.com.

CAT / HOUSE SITTER Are you going on holiday? Quiet nonsmoking yoga teacher is willing to cat/house sit. I am trustworthy, clean and come with good references. Contact PenJJay@12move.nl or leave a message on my answering machine 620 3644.

CREATIVE / PRINTING services offered. Business cards, T-shirts,

NEED A GOOD MASSAGE?Excellent therapeutic massage at a great location in De Pijp. Check out our website at www.acupressure.nl and contact Liza@acupressure.nl.

flyers, posters, advertising. Contact dizzy.design@graffiti.net / 06 2816 3169.

Heighten your quality of life and improve your relationships with the help of a native English speaking therapist. My 20 years of professional experience and understanding can help you better cope with feelings and sort through stressful thoughts.

Sagar: 06 4626 5412.

Pilates studio with Reformer, Cadillac, Wunda Chair and Spine Corrector. Improve your strength, flexibility, posture, body awareness and more! Visit www.pilatesamsterdam.nl or call 06 2893 2706. Private lessons only, from fully-certified instuctor.

HEALERlife coach, yoga teacher and reiki healer available for all types of sessions. visit www.empowerall.eu or contact 06 5210 1547.

HEALTH & WELLNESS

POLE DANCINGWORKSHOP It’s a girly thing. Dance school in A’dam specialised in pole dancing classes & workshops.

Whether it’s a private gathering for the girls, wedding celebration or wild moment out, our bachelor parties are designed to provide a unique experience. www.sexyinstructors.com.

THINKING ABOUT THERAPY?

PILATES STUDIOFully-equipped

VISUAL SHOUT!Creative graphic designer, photographer and web designer for any visual communication work. Just check out www.namelesspace.com.

WEBSITEDESIGNStylishandhigh quality web sites that look great and work well. See www.oliversmithdesign.com for examples.

Contact studio@oliversmithdesign.com or 06 1993 2780.

VOICE PROJECTSNeed a voiceover for your next project? Visit www.voicetake.com.

BEAUTIFUL SMILE Have your teeth bleached for only €199 (regular price €300). Offer ends Jan 10 2007. Dr Falsafi is American trained (practicing in A’dam) and will perform the

procedure personally. For appointments contact hfalsafi@hotmail.com or 612 6093.

FOOT REFLEXOLOGY Works through the feet on the whole body to rejuvenate and boost energy through deep relaxation.

Can shift long term complaints.

Treat yourself or a friend. Various locations in A’dam. www.peakexperience.nl. Paula Charnley 06 1489 6198.

MEANINGLESS ? Amidst the silence of crows in the blink of an eye? Existential crisis management and metaphysical motivation. Pouring purpose fuel back into your life. Contact Milton 06 1488 9377.

DANCE It is your pulse, your

BRITISH BEAUTY Therapist with 25 years experience. Cidesco, babtac, anbos, Laser Hair Removal, Adv Electrolysis, Brazilian Waxing, P8N8 Oxygen Skin Care, anti-age facials, gift vouchers etc at McTavish Hair Salon, Quellijnstraat 80 (de Pijp) A’dam.

Contact 06 4079 9921 / www.lindayoungaesthetics.com.

VEG COOKING CLASSES Plantbased, organic cooking courses from a NYC Natural Foods Chef. Various themes such as Amazing Grains, Traditional Italian Vegetarian and Healthy Sweets. Visit www.justnosh.com or contact joslyn@justnosh.com / 06/25092117.

HOME IMPROVEMENT PAINTER + HANDYMANI’m available to paint inside and outside + lend a helping handy hand.

Reasonable rates. Lots of prac-

tical and professional experience. Good references available. Dacho: 06 4275 6045.

COMPUTERS NEED HELP WITH YOUR MAC? MAC-lover helps you with basic setups, minor troubleshooting, install, networking, basic MAC lessons, setting up programs, MS Word, QuarkXpress, etc.

Help with purchasing the right MAC, call Sagar at 779 1926.

PC HOUSE DOCTORSpecialised in virus/spyware removal, H/W, S/W repair, data recovery, wireless, cable/ADSL installation and computer lessons from friendly and experienced Microsoft professional for reasonable price. Contact Mario at 06 1644 8230.

MASSAGE 3 KINDS OF MASSAGE Relaxation, tantric or chakra healing.

More information at http://franciscos.pimp-my-blog.net or f27036@hotmail.com or mobile 06 2022 4973.

MASSAGE in central A’dam.

Friendly setting, good rates. Different types offered: one to help you breath more easily, one for legs and feet, relaxing back massage to relieve tension, or combination of all three. For details see http://massageams.spaces.live.com or contact massage_hotmail.com or 06 2159 1867.

PURE PEARL,Pleasure, perfectly pandering to Eve. Tantric touch therapist for women only. Ring Glen for resume. 061410 3234.

MASSAGE FOR LADIES Wherever you are - for ladies only.

Good men are hard to find. Call 06 4656 4369.

THAI MASSAGE www.timeforthaimassage.com / 061031 6310 Marco.

FULL BODY MASSAGE for guys.

How would you like a 24 y.o, very attractive American to come over to your place and help you forget all about your troubles?

Amsterdam Weekly

21 December 2006-3 Januari 2007 Then give me a call 06 4248 3802. Clothing Optional!

CRANIOSACRAL , holistic massage and foot reflex at your place or in my studio.In case of stress, insomnia,tiredness headache and backpain, ears and eyes problem, also for children and elderly. Treatments reimbursed by health insurances. contact Unmani 0630049738 info@ilcielo.4t.com, www.ilcielo.4t.com

COURSES SIVANANDA HATHA YOGABeginners course starting in A’dam at ABC Treehouse. Always wanted to experience yoga and didn’t know where to start? Join this 8-week course, starting Mon 29 Jan from 18.00-19.30. €100 incl textbook. Contact Susan Nicolas on 06 5176 4621/nicolas@planet.nl/www.yogaadvaita.org/amsterdam.

TRANSFORMATIONAL HATHA YOGA for all levels in Oud West.

Yoga postures, meditation and relaxation. Call 612 1236 or visit www.yogatha.nl.

CHILDREN'S ART CLASS Join our art classes for kids from 412 y.o. in middle of Vondelpark at the Groot Melkhuis. Every Wed from14.00-16.00. Contact Samma on 683 4069 or sammamutsaers@hotmail.com.

SELF-DEFENSE Tues 20.3022.00 at Bellamystraat 49-51.

Free trial lesson! Contact 06 1892 0549 or wingtjun_amsterdam@yahoo.com.

OPEN DAYon14th January from

35

2pm - 6pm at Mirror Centre (Muiderpoort station). il cielo present beginners courses of massage and craniosacral which commence in February. Everybody can participate. Please contact us in advance if attending. Call 06 3004 9738 or info@ilcielo.4t.com. www.ilcielo.4t.com.

advanced. 1.5 - 2 hours based on your chosen musical style.

Lessons divided into technique, theory, repertoire and groove (occasional playing with drummer). Contact 06 4325 9603 or dnbass@gmail.com.

VOCAL COACHINGSinger Songwriter offers vocal coaching and songwriting skills sessions. Contact 06 5210 1547 or visit www.dvoradavis.com.

DRAWING AND PAINTINGDrawing and painting workshops by professional artist. Various techniques, all styles. For info call 681 3067 / joneiselin@hetnet.nl.

LEARN IMPROV Do you fear the stage? easylaughs offers improv theater courses in English for all levels of experience commencing mid-January. See www.easylaughs.nl for full program and information.

VIVA BRAZIL! Brazilian dance instructor direct from Bahia, Brazil, available for group / private lesson and parties. All dances: samba, lambada, zouk, forro, axe. Great exercise and fun way to de-stress from a busy day. Contact 06 1453 9123.

ANIMATION / VIDEO Want to learn photoshop/ premiere/ 3dsmax? I teach at your own pc video-editing/ 3d animation/ photo-editing. Beginners and experienced persons welcome.

Friendly hourly rate. Contact animationfarm@hotmail.com.

KUNDALINI YOGA teaches you the techniques to stay healthy.

You gain a strong immune system, vital glands, a strong nervous system, good circulation and an awareness of the impact of your habits. This allows you

to deal calmly and gracefully with lifes challanges. Contact 06 1146 4372.

SINGING LESSONSon Prinsengracht. Classical voice training.

Vocalization, scales, etc. Free introductory lesson. For more information contact Michael on 320 2095.

BELLY DANCE COURSENew Belly Dance Course in A’dam at Mirror Centre, every Monday & Friday 20.30- 21.45. Starting 15 Jan ‘07. More info at www. sitadance.com or contact 06 2518 1717.

LANGUAGES LANGUAGE COACH Would speaking Dutch make you feel better? Call 625 3231 or go to www.talencoach.com.

IMPROVE YOUR DUTCHLink Taal Studio, a professional way to learn Dutch in private & small groups, starting every week, Vijzelgracht 51-55. For more info contact 06 4133 9323 or linktaalstudio@gmail.com.

LEARNING DUTCH? JOOST WEET HET! €7/hr. Don’t go to sleep in winter time, improve your Dutch at Joost Weet Het! Courses on all levels and real quality. 2 x 2 hrs/wk, €7/hr. Visit our website www.joostweethet.nl or call 420 8146. Email: info@aprenderholandes.nl.

SPANISH CONVERSATIONWant to practice your Spanish with a native speaker? Different fun topics: food, Latin America, music, literature etc & a glass of wine, tea or coffee. Individual lessons, €20 & group lessons (2-3), €15. If you have any further questions contact Natalie on 06 4299 9648 or nataliad37@hotmail.com.

INTENSIVE DUTCH COURSES €7/hr. 4 x 4 hrs per wk. 2, 3, 4 and 8 wk courses. Do you want to learn Dutch? Take your classes at Joost Weet Het! We have an unconventional and very clear learning method. You learn fast and we put emphasis on conversation. And, it’s not expensive!

Email

info@aprenderholandes.nl.

DUTCH LESSONSin A’Dam. For improved conversation or for professional / studies. NT2, solo lessons €15 p.h. Intensive courses and online lessons / min intensive 15 hours €187.50. All ages. 10am - 9pm 7 days. http://home.tiscali.nl/stylusphant/indexdutch.html. excellentdutch@hotmail.com or call 06 3612 2870.

SPANISH LESSONS Spanish lessons offered by a qualified teacher (native speaker) with 5 years experience. Conversational technique and grammar explanation. €18 per person per hour. Contact 06 4249 0235 / octavio_gomez@yahoo.com.

Hasta pronto.

BRAZILIAN/PORTUGUESEgrammar and conversation. You will understand and speak from the start. 4 hours per week. Learn as a child without fear. Contact Tania 06 2091 1390.

LEARN PORTUGUESELearn Portuguese with experienced teach-

er. University level and experience. Costs €11 p.h. private or €7 p.h in a group. Contact online.portugues@gmail.com / 06 1115 5859.

FRENCH CONVERSATION Fancy brushing up on your French?

Conversation sessions offered by former University lecturer and French native speaker. These sessions are meant for intermediate/advanced levels. Contact marc@fermin.fsnet.co.uk.

ENGLISH LESSONSfor both language and business English offered by mother tongue Englishman. Years of experience, comfortable and relaxed learning environment with good rates. Contact 06 2324 5957.

ITALY IN AMSTERDAM Do you want to learn Italian and know something about Italian culture? Everyday from 8.00 to 17.00. €10 for groups or solo.

Contact 06 2711 7703.

MUSICIANS ELECTRICBASS LESSONS Private lessons for beginners or

BASS GUITAR LESSONS all levels music, theory and techniques. All styles. Contact niroded@yahoo.com.

PERSONALS MISTRESS REQUIRED Regular visiting businessman wants to meet interesting, good looking lady, age between 20 and 35 for exciting and fun relationship. Must be honest, gsoh and with genuine interest in life.

Email harryadonis@lycos.nl.

MEET AND GREET Sophisticated woman of nearly 60 is looking for a man who would like to go out occasionally to a museum, cinema or for a glass of wine.

Write your do’s and don’ts to juul@macosx.nl.

ROMANCE Handsome, athletic, well educated, romantic man, African American origin, living and working in A’dam, looking for good looking slim girl (1932y.o.) for a (serious) romantic relationship. Contact amsterick@hotmail.com.

SEX IS FREEDOM Portuguese male(38) living in A’dam is looking for women (20-50) to have sex. No money involved, just

for pure pleasure and fun. If you are free thinking please contact doninha333@yahoo.com.

LUSCIOUS YOU Exciting attractive couple, 35, slender, cultured, well-read. Looking for great girl to explore mutual desires and enjoy sheer luxurious physical love. Do you want to be seduced by us? Contact libertijnselessen@live.nl.

ANNOUNCEMENTS HOUSE CHURCHChristian house church: www.housechurch.nl.

WARDROBE WANTED Looking for a 2nd hand wardrobe in good condition. Minimum1.50m wide x 2.00m high. Contact walkabout_00147@yahoo.it NATIVE ENGLISH speakers required for quiz game. ‘That’s the Question’ seeks contestants aged 18 – 50, native English speakers living in The Netherlands. Win up to 1500 UK pounds! Do you have A good general knowledge of Showbiz, Sports, Art & Culture of England? Contact leoni@castingcall.nl / or call 489 5956.

FRIDAY NIGHT CURRY Monthly eventforavidcurryloversinA’dam centre. Each event offers a different banquet menu and guests are able to taste authentic regional cuisine from India, Sri Lanka & Thailand. For more information visit www.abfabdining.com.

GREGORIAN CHANT Want to sing Gregorian Chant? Men and women welcome. Check out www.gregoriaanskoor.nl or come and listen Sundays at five in the Nicolaaskerk.