Amsterdam Weekly: Vol 4 Issue 13, 29 March-4 April 2007

Volume 4, Issue 13

29 MARCH - 4 APRIL 2007 Member of the broodje pom club

‘…a very extreme form of generosity.’ page 15

FREE

www.amsterdamweekly.nl

Nature calls, ambulance answers page 6

Sugar Factory, two years of mind and ass interaction page 5 A nose for future news page 4 / Too many artists, not enough buyers page 4 / An escort philosopher page 15 ART: Jan van der Heyden: painter, inventor and hosemaster p. 17 / FILM: Taking the dicks out of Dixie p. 23

Short List . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 Music/Clubs . . . . . . . . .11 Gay & Lesbian . . . . . . . .13 Stage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Art . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16 Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . .19 Dining . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .21 Classifieds/Comics . . .25

29 March-4 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

CITY SECOND BY PETER CLEUTJENS In this issue Clubs. Some save animals. Others nurture the needs of the human animal—and/or the boogie beast within.

Still others have abandoned the limited arena of ‘meatspace’ to gather on the (nearly) endless vistas of cyberspace.

Witness this week’s offering on eBay: for €50,000 you can buy the Second Life version of Amsterdam. If it didn’t look so tragically half-assed, one could imagine setting up a whole new world of amster-interaction: why smoke real dope when you can puff cybersensimillia? Exactly. But if you really crave a sense of belonging there’s only one bandwagon to jump on this week: keeping the HEMA Dutch. The iconic chain is now available on the open market at an estimated sale price of a billion euros, so each Nederlander just has to invest €60 to make it truly belong to the volk. Go to www.schonekleren.nl/hema and buy your stocks today. You won’t have to pay until the actual goal is reached. It’ll give you that sense of belonging. And besides, people will still always want their space for meat—or their HEMA worst anyway.

On the cover SWAN’S SONG Photo by Monique Fakkeldij

Next week Tourists: what they should know and what we should know about them.

Letters Got an opinion? We want to hear it. inbox@amsterdamweekly.nl

Amsterdam Weekly BV De Ruyterkade 106, 1011 AB Amsterdam Tel: 020 522 5200 Fax: 020 620 1666 www.amsterdamweekly.nl General info: info@amsterdamweekly.nl Agenda listings: agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl Advertising: sales@amsterdamweekly.nl Classifieds: classifieds@amsterdamweekly.nl PUBLISHER Todd Savage EDITOR Steve Korver ASSISTANT EDITOR Kim Renfrew AGENDA EDITORS Steven McCarron, Mark Wedin FILM EDITOR Julie Phillips PROOFREADER Karina Hof COPY EDITOR Michael Martin EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Sarah Gehrke ART DIRECTOR Bas Morsch PRODUCTION MANAGER Vela Arbutina PRODUCTION DESIGNERS Mattijs Arts, Rogier Charles SALES ASSOCIATES Alexander Gan, Simone Klomp, Simon Poole, Carolina Salazar OPERATIONS MANAGER Monique Gruter OPERATIONS ASSISTANT Desislava Pentcheva DISTRIBUTION COORDINATOR Patrick van der Klugt DISTRIBUTION/MARKETING INTERN Heini Suokari FINANCIAL ADVISER Kurt Schmidt (Veresis Consulting) PRINTER Corelio Printing Amsterdam Weekly is published every week on Wednesday and is available free at locations all over Amsterdam. Subscriptions are available for €60 per six months within the Netherlands and €90 per six months within Europe. Agenda submissions are welcome, at least two weeks in advance. New contributors are invited to visit Amsterdam Weekly’s website for contributor guidelines. Contents of Amsterdam Weekly (ISSN 1872-3268) are copyright 2007 Amsterdam Weekly BV. All rights reserved.

21/03/2007 - 14.09 - STATIONSPLEIN

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Amsterdam Weekly

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29 March-4 April 2007

AROUND TOWN Going, going, going...

Auction doesn’t sell art like hot cakes.

Not yet anyway.

Fiction faction On having a nose for tomorrow’s news.

By Douglas Heingartner What role does science fiction play on pure science and design? A three-part seminar taking place this spring at Pakhuis De Zwijger examines the porous borders between these disciplines. And the first instalment, held last Thursday, started in fine form by inviting legendary cyberpunk author Bruce Sterling to hold court on these themes and more.

The evening opened with a presentation by Universiteit Leiden anthropologist Peter Pels on the long-running exchange of ideas between anthropology and science fiction. Pels is part of an interdisciplinary research project called CyberSpace Salvations, which investigates the links between religion and technology, enquiring, for example, why the rise of the latter hasn’t (yet) led to the death of the former. In other words, religion is bigger than ever, and the emergence of cyberspace might have helped fuel the fire. Both domains prophesise better worlds, Pels pointed out, in which meatspace—that is, the corporeal world—is left behind in favour of a dematerialised sublime.

Curiously, the most salient example of this fusion—namely Scientology—didn’t come up for discussion on stage. And perhaps that was by design. ‘I don’t have a kind word to say about L Ron Hubbard,’ Sterling said in the Pakhuis bar after the lectures. ‘The guy was a cult leader. I don’t believe he understood how our minds work any better than any other huckster.

He was the dark side of the force.’

And the increasing religiosity of the West isn’t just a fleeting dalliance. ‘It will pass,’ Sterling said, ‘but it’s not clear how long. Religious wars tend to last for generations.’ Even nominally progressive Holland, which recently voted the Christen Unie to its coalition government, is no exception. ‘Do I expect the Dutch Christian right to go away? No, I would project the opposite,’ he said.

But Sterling’s onstage presentation steered largely clear of religious themes, favouring instead a look at the interplay between science fiction, design and futurism. Sterling has worn all these hats and others at various times—cyberpunk, design theorist, teacher and artist, and doesn’t see them as distinct domains. ‘The field has many gardens,’ he said.

Ditto his role as godfather or guru, a designation Sterling doesn’t have much trouble with. During a chat in the café, a good half dozen well-wishers approached him with their unbidden epiphanies. Being this kind of public springboard needn’t be weird, he explained: ‘no more so than it is for a bartender. People’s fears and dreams are actually quite interesting. Besides,’ he said, ‘I’m not super-famous.’

Sterling seemed quite comfortable in his own skin onstage, mashing up the roles of stand-up comedian and good-natured polemicist. In fact, the much-touted crossfertilisation between disciplines has long been a fait accompli, as is the merger of the real and the virtual. The web, Sterling pointed out, is anything but a Euclidean non-space of the mind, referring to gigantic server farms that slurp down power, like the one Google has recently announced it will be using in Eemshaven. The internet is ‘blazingly hot and heavy,’ he said, and ‘needs to be fed; there are no immaterial bits.’

Which isn’t to say that distinctions between real and virtual, or futurist and market analyst, have become irrelevant. ‘I think the borders are dissolving quite

Bruce Sterling, cyberpunkpundit.

quickly,’ Sterling said after his presentation, ‘but it still matters a very great deal what you’re called, and what you choose to call other people. Because if you don’t call yourself something, you will be named by others. These little membranes of verbal differentiation end up being institutional membranes.’

Sterling cited the example of potterymakers who start using 3D printers to produce their wares. ‘If you’re a craftsman, then you’re in the atelier and in the gallery scene, but if you’re a technician, then you’re in manufacturing and engineering.

It’s a whole set of payoffs—the clients you have, the places where you’re shown.’

Yet despite his flirtations with pedagogy and design, Sterling remains an unapologetic science fiction author. Good sci-fi, he said, is more about holding a mirror up to the present than conjuring up fantastic worlds of enormous spaceships and invading aliens. ‘I think you need a certain quirkiness of temperament to be a successful science fiction writer. It’s like having a nose for news that hasn’t happened yet.’

Which helps explain why Sterling has moved away from fiction to a more active role in designing our future, as evinced in his most recent non-fiction book, Shaping Things. ‘I’m more keenly aware that we really have to make some major technological and scientific changes. There are a lot of practices we have that are not sustainable and are really kind of dangerous.’

The Science Fiction/Science Faction seminars: RU Sirius and Rudy Rucker on 11 April, 19.45, free, Brenda Laurel, Bruce Damer and Galen Brandt on 2 May, 19.45, free, Pakhuis de Zwijger, Piet Heinkade 179, 788 4444, www.cyberspacesalvations.nl, videostreamed at www.killertv.nl

The artists’ initiative W139 recently set up an experimental project entitled W139/BASEMENT; in a joint effort to help artists sell their work and help collectors discover new talent, Marc Schoneveld and Tony Hofman organise a unique monthly exhibition in the basement of the Post CS building, concluded with an auction on the last Sunday of the month, where part of the exhibition is sold off.

‘There are a lot of good artists in the Netherlands, but there’s a lack of places for them to show their work,’ explains Schoneveld. ‘That’s why we decided to rent this basement and use it as an exhibition space.’

Schoneveld and Hofman divided the basement into 10 separate exhibition areas that can be rented at a low price by artists or groups for the duration of the month. Artists are then asked to enter two pieces of work to the auction, which focuses on pieces with a market value of up to €1,000. ‘There’s plenty of interest from the artists’ side,’ says Schoneveld.

‘We got so many offers we could have easily filled a venue three times this size.’

In order to keep the sale from turning into a real Dutch auction with prices dwindling away to nothing, each participating artist came up with a minimum reserve price for his or her piece of art. A smart decision, as it turned out: at the first W139/BASEMENT auction held last Sunday, people didn’t exactly bid in the high figures.

The auction started off with work by Petra van der Steen, who embroiders troubling quotes onto textile. Her first

SIMON WALD-LASOWSKI

YVO SPREY

By Laura Groeneveld

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007

Next W139/BASEMENT exhibition opens 7 April, auction 29 April, BG, Post-CS, Oosterdokskade 5, 06 2427 6657, www.w139.nl/basement

SIMON WALD-LASOWSKI

Art? Art? My five-year-old child could have done those!

Sugar Factory on map Two years of jumping higher than yr ass.

By Steve Korver Two years ago, the Sugar Factory opened as a new kind of club—mixing theatre, music, art and dance, while seeking to blur the lines between performers and audience. It was about delivering a ‘total event’ six nights a week. And it’s safe to say things have gone swimmingly: on any given night one may encounter live action painting, an anorexic Karen Carpenter tribute, a big band playing breakbeats, spoken-word ravers or a performance featuring Hitler kebab. Then there’s always old-fashioned ass-shaking after 11 p.m.

The club’s artistic director Jacek Rajewski—who could be described as a passionate Polish cowboy poet-type (yes, one of those)—set things up along with three partners. He had already been around block as both DJ and clubnight organiser for the 15 years he’d been the city—the perfect man to look both back and forward on amsterclubland.

‘So do you feel like Andy Warhol?’

‘No fucking way!’ answers Rajewski.

(Indeed, it’s hard to imagine Andy suffering from RSI.) ‘I have no time to be a horecalcoholic. I spent the last two years in an office with colleagues focusing on the three P’s: programming, publicity and promotion. At the beginning, there was the discrepancy between the concept and the reality. Fixing the loose ends, dealing with the unknown factors and walking in the fog while taking the balloon of the concept back down to earth. It was a very stressful life. A chess game where you have a plan but then you had to save your rook’s ass. But it actually went much quicker than we thought. We are established. Two years ago we would book Ellen ten Damme and no one would come, but now we can do any programme on a Friday and everyone will come. Now we can catch up with ourselves and enjoy more than sweat for it.’

Sugar Factory seemed to arrive at the right time with the right concept. Along with Studio 80, 11 and Bitterzoet, Sugar Factory marked a point where clubs became more homey, less pretentious and even attractive to those kroeg-types who prefer their ceilings low and the option to have their geouwehoer uninterrupted in a quieter corner.

‘I think there was a point of general enlightenment a few years ago where clubs became more creatively inspired than criminally inspired,’ observes Rajewski, ‘Clubs in the Eighties and Nineties tended to be money machines treating their employees like shit and their public worse. Everyone was

MONICA RAGAZZINI

work up for sale read: ‘Is this it?’ When people failed to bid for it, the other works, which read ‘It can get worse’ and ‘Where is this going to?’ managed to add a whole new dimension to their original meanings.

Auctioneer Simon Ferdinando, who tried to get the crowd going by describing some works of art as ‘small, sexy and yours for only six hundred euros,’ occasionally needed to remind people that they were at an auction—and thus to act accordingly. He was a tad disappointed to see that not many works got sold. ‘It’s like pushing a snowball,’ he says.

‘Once you get people bidding they become really enthusiastic and it’s a lot of fun. But it’s hard to get them started, especially in unfamiliar territory like this.’

Still, Ferdinando was pleased with the high quality of works that were for sale.

‘The exhibition is great. The work looks very good and it’s not mainstream.’ One of the visitors, who came all the way from Oegstgeest for the auction, agrees: ‘The fact that a lot of the works didn’t sell today doesn’t say anything about their quality.’

Ferdinando thinks that initiatives like W139/BASEMENT are significant to the city’s cultural life: ‘It’s important for artists to have places like these, where you don’t have to go through all the hurdles and hoops that exist in the mainstream art world. A place like W139/BASEMENT still has a sense of possibility to it. This is where all the stewing and brewing takes place and a next generation of artists is born. It’s just what the city needs.’

Aside from the city’s interests, this is a great opportunity for anyone on a small budget to start investing in art. Who knows? You might just discover the new Damien Hirst. And if you a need helping hand, W139 has just started an art collectors’ course for beginners.

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stoned... But I don’t think the gemeente had anything to do with changing this with their clampdowns. It’s the public that gives it all the real twist. Today’s public is more social, and socially aware.

They have different needs. They want their intelligence and their aesthetics triggered. They want to be part of an event.

Not just getting drunk and stoned.

‘Of course they also have more money than ten years ago—ten euros is a lot for entry and that’s normal now. And they’re no longer persecuted for having money: before, Amsterdam had tons of squatters running around ready to call you “yuppie” if you enjoyed the finer things. Today clubbers don’t roll shag, they smoke cigarettes. It’s more metropolitan.’

So what has Rajewski learned the last two years? ‘You can’t jump higher than your ass,’ he laughs. ‘For me personally, it was how to go out there and stand up for your ideas. To talk, meet, create. A new way of thinking about what nightlife can be. About sticking to the core idea—that we are about culture and just not horeca baasjes out for money. We had to work to counteract the idea of the shady boss. I know some of my colleagues at other clubs are much more disillusioned about these prejudices. Bitter even.’ He then trails off while looking wistful: ‘Oh, and I learned how not to lose my cool...’

‘There’s still resistance to development inside the gemeente. But now there’s a much stronger front. Melkweg, Paradiso, Studio 80, Bitterzoet, nachtburgemeester Chiel van Zelst and many others are working more as a united front

Jacek Rajewski: poet, cowboy, Pole, dancer.

to inspire politicians to think differently.

There’s great initiatives, like the Fringe Festival that seeks to bring underground theatre to mainstream locations, but on the local political level, we still need the big breakthrough. We are close to breakthrough on how culture is financed, different ways of getting money. A change of quality: instead of banning smoking—a dark medieval idea—we can think of new ventilation systems as Paul Hermanides is busy with.’

And how about the next two years?

‘Stay independent and artistic. Get finance for bigger projects. I also want to see more programming for youth— inspire them just as they are beginning to enjoy their first years of adulthood. And if I could be real ambitious, I want to see a new public square. Leidseplein seems like a lost cause with no vision but perhaps we can create a new square along Lijnbaansgracht connecting us to the soon-to-be-connected-anyway Melkweg and Stadsschouwburg. It would be a place for a street theatre festival, an alternative market...’

OK, it’s hard to imagine the police giving up their direct route to Leidseplein, but meanwhile at least trying to jump higher than one’s ass remains a great way to stay in shape.

Sugar 2 Jaar Weekender, 29 March-1 April, Sugar Factory, Lijnbaansgracht 238, 627 0008, www.sugarfactory.nl

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Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007

Nature calls...

...and volunteers answer, rescuing everything left behind by the meagre one-species ambulances. From overgrown arachnids to flightless fowl, these anonymous saviours see it all. And you can too. Buckle up and hold on. We’re riding shotgun with the Dierenambulance.

STORY AND PHOTOS BY MARK WEDIN

29 March-4 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

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hen feathers fly or canines howl, the Dierenambulance is on the call. Rain or shine. More reliable than the mailman—and friendlier too—they deliver lost kittens to the animal shelter, injured foxes to the vet and sick hedgehogs to the egelopvang. (Rumour has it that numerous hedgehogs were found in an irritable state, due to the recent warm winter, which disturbed their hibernation.) But, with over 5,000 birds saved each year in Amsterdam alone, it’s the flying creatures that are most in need of attention: broken wings, respiratory problems, abandoned ducklings or cold feet—literally. When waters freeze, many birds get their feet stuck in the ice.

‘A lot of people call for that,’ explains Annelies Vlap, Communications Director for the Dierenambulance. Approximately 14,500 animals are aided each year, she explains, averaging roughly 40 a day. A hefty number, considering the organisation survives almost exclusively on donations and a volunteer workforce.

‘But it’s not for everyone,’ says Vlap.

Volunteers visit every section of the city, anywhere animals are found, and the things they see are not always pretty. But regardless of prior experience, anyone interested may sign up. First step: hang with the experts.

Normally, it’s wise to schedule a preliminary ride along on a fairly quiet day, ensuring that there’s enough time to explain everything and that the uninitiated aren’t overwhelmed. Early morning on a rainy Saturday, for example, should be perfect. Most residents are asleep. Those that are awake stay home. And with animals unable to use a phone, well, few calls are expected.

But today turns out to be anything but quiet. The clouds quickly blow away, and there is nearly no end to the calls for animals in need—not until the last hours of daylight, when the rain returns, does the city grow calm once more.

Reunited between the sheets Around 8.30, 15-year veteran Monique Fakkeldij shows up in the requisite green and yellow garb, all embroidered with the Dierenambulance logo. She says good morning to the other early risers, and then heads downstairs to check her ambulance.

‘Just a daily check, to make sure it’s clean, and everything’s there.’

In the garage, three shining white ambulances are parked, waiting for action.

Monique slides open her vehicle’s large side door and goes through the gear. There are four containers for transporting dogs and cats (and occasionally herons), three smaller cages for hamsters and birds and a little styrofoam box for bats. ‘They don’t like a lot of light,’ explains Monique.

There’s also a canvas sack for snakes, heavy duty gloves for animals that might scratch and a small box of latex gloves— ‘for vieze dingen’.

The remaining space contains a small, dog-sized bed with an oxygen pump and a suction unit, two seats for human passengers, an assortment of towels, plastic bags and bungee cords, along with a detailed street map and an electronic chip reader for dogs and cats that have chips embedded under their skin. ‘That often makes it much easier to find the owner,’ Monique points out.

Additional instruments are fastened

behind a door on the other side of the van: a small stretcher, shovel, rubber tongs, a large net for catching birds and a vangstok—a metal pole with a canvas noose that can be lowered from one end. ‘I almost never use this,’ says Monique. ‘It’s not very animal-friendly, but sometimes you have to. Sometimes it’s either him or you.’ On any given day, she will improvise with a variety of these objects, depending on the situation.

blanket and the bird seems surprisingly calm. ‘Under the blanket,’ she explains, ‘it’s dark, so they relax and go to sleep.

Same with chickens.’

Just before departing for the bird shelter, they get a call about another swan sitting on the other side of the same stretch of motorway. A police car is already at the scene, awaiting their arrival.

Monique explains that it’s probably the female. ‘Swan partners live their entire

When they find the cat, its fur is wet, the snout is covered in blood and one eyeball is dangling from its socket. On its collar is the name ‘Lucky’. The obvious joke is made, but no one laughs.

Her partner Jo (who prefers not to have her last name used) arrives shortly afterwards, followed by the night crew, who arrive at the end of their shift with a large male swan they picked up on the A10 motorway. Nothing appears to be physically wrong with the bird, but the fact that he was sitting on the side of the road suggests that something’s not right. The swan is transferred to Monique and Jo’s ambulance, where he will be delivered to the vogelopvang. Monique wraps him in a

lives together. If you find one, you’re likely to find its partner waiting nearby.’

Sure enough, at the scene, a female swan sits in the wet mud, somewhat out of breath. Monique carries her into the ambulance, wraps her in a blanket next to the male, and sits in the back with them. The two police officers smile and wave as Jo pulls away, heading to the bird shelter.

Once there, the two birds will be cared for until both are healthy enough to be released.

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T-shirt pizza The vogelopvang—open to visitors six days a week (see www.toevlucht.nl)—is located in a green, lush area of De Bijlmer, surrounded by a canal and filled with a variety of spacious cages for the many birds in residence. Several ducks are in one large cage, a lone heron stands in another, and next to that, the swans are mixed with a few recuperating seagulls.

Injured birds of prey dwell on the other side of the shelter, and there is an open section—half on the water—from which the birds can fly away when they feel strong enough. (Though a few birds look suspiciously healthy already, perhaps just lazily enjoying the free food.)

Inside an enclosed den next to the cages, an elegant long-eared owl sits in the dark. Jo explains that they had found him two weeks earlier near Oosterpark.

‘People saw him on the street. They called us after putting him into a cat box, and he made no struggle against being picked up. That’s a very bad sign. He didn’t look happy when we picked him up; I didn’t think he would survive.’

She says that birds of prey are highly susceptible to stress. ‘Simply handling one can be too stressful for it to survive much longer. But sometimes that’s a risk you must take.’ As she talks, the owl watches everyone closely, slowly moving its head like a high-precision security camera. Its ears stick straight up, like short furry antlers.

Nearby, a yellow duckling basks in the warmth of a heat lamp hanging above him. ‘This was the first baby bird we found this year,’ says Jo. ‘People called us because they saw him sitting all alone on the ground. We don’t know what happened to his parents, but we brought him here before a cat or another predator found him.’

‘We should go,’ cuts in Monique, who just got a call on the radio. ‘There’s a dead cat on the road. We should pick it up before it’s completely pizza.’

On the way there, Jo slows the vehicle as two ducks waddle across the road.

‘That happens a lot now,’ explains Monique. ‘It’s mating season. The male ducks chase the females and they walk everywhere—including under cars.’

They drive around for a little while, but the only thing on the street is a crumpled up T-shirt. ‘It happens a lot that people phone us for a dead animal on the road,’ explains Monique, ‘and it turns out to be an umbrella, or a large white plastic bag, which they think is a swan.’

Another call comes in for a dead heron that was spotted near Park Frankendael in Oost. On arrival, it appears to have been run over. A group of chickens that roam through the park are pecking the ground nearby. Monique and Jo put the heron into a grey plastic sack, record when and where they found it, and return to headquarters.

There, the cadaver is stored in the building’s small mortuary. It’s full of dead animals, all kept very cold, and a light sour smell lingers in the air. Animals that could potentially have owners are bagged, tagged and kept on the shelves for a couple weeks, giving time for the owners to call about their missing pets.

Wild animals are placed into what is essentially a large trash bin, where they are collected each week for cremation. Jo lifts the lid and drops the heron onto a pile of carcasses: a white swan, a brown

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Amsterdam Weekly

Monique and Jo to attend to their other calls; she’ll arrange a taxi for the woman.

Outside, Monique explains that the old woman had just cremated her husband three weeks before. ‘Now the dog has to go and that’s the last thing she has.’

fox and a black meerkoet with its legs sticking straight up.

Monique and Jo head upstairs for coffee. ‘It may seem like sometimes we’re a bit cold,’ says Jo, ‘but after doing this long enough, you learn to separate your emotions from the work. You have to.’

A lot to handle Around the coffee table, Jo shares stories about some of the more unusual calls. ‘I collected a butterfly once,’ she recalls. ‘It was during football championships.

These guys called from a pub, saying they had a butterfly as big as their hand. We thought: “They’re pissed. It’s probably just a bat.” We arrive at the bar—yes, everyone was pissed—but they had a plastic container with holes poked in it.

Inside was an enormous beautiful butterfly. Very exotic. We took it to Artis zoo.

They said it probably escaped from somebody’s private collection.’

‘I don’t understand.’ Just then, Monique walks into the room with a live pigeon in her hands. ‘I just don’t understand,’ she repeats, frustrated. Much of the bird’s wings have been clipped. It was brought to their front door by a resident who found it on the street. ‘If you have birds in your home,’ continues Monique, ‘you might clip their wings. But these pigeons will never be domesticated.

There’s no reason to clip its wings. It will just sit in nature and die.’ She heads downstairs to put it in a cage in the ambulance. A frisky kitten that was found earlier is also placed into the ambulance—each animal bound for its respective shelter.

Jo and Monique hop in the front, and head back out. But first—beep beep beep—the radio goes off. Near the T-shirt they spotted in De Bijlmer, there is in fact a dead cat. This time, the caller gives more accurate directions. When they find it, its fur is wet, the snout is covered in blood and one eyeball is dangling from its socket. On its collar is the name ‘Lucky’.

The obvious joke is made, but no one laughs. Monique checks it for an electronic chip. Negative. But the collar gives an address and phone number. ‘His owners live here in the neighbourhood.’ Monique grabs the radio, asking if they should personally go to the owner. There’s no time.

An old woman in Amstelveen has a sick dog and she needs a ride to the vet. On the way, they stop by the bird shelter, drop off the pigeon, and say a few soothing words to the kitten, who yawns in its cage, then falls asleep.

‘You have only a short time with the animals,’ explains Monique. ‘Just bring them to the vet or the shelter. Then it’s out of your hands and you go to the next animal. You don’t normally call the vet later to follow up.’

‘We have six ambulances,’ Jo says.

‘Today we’re the only ones out. It would be nice to have another car out, but there are just not enough volunteers. In the summer, I think we might be able to pay some people to help. It gets extremely busy then.’

‘When you first start,’ explains Monique, ‘you have lessons on how to handle birds, the behaviour of dogs, see if they will bite, that sort of thing. But until you’re really ready, you always go with an experienced person and learn everything from them.’

‘Of course, it’s not only handling animals,’ adds Jo, ‘but also people.’

29 March-4 April 2007

Floating footstool Monique and Jo arrive at the house in Amstelveen. While stepping out of the ambulance, Monique explains that it’s not yet clear what’s wrong with the dog. ‘I think the old lady is confused.’

The door is opened by a small and delicate old woman. She says hello, blinks a couple times and, after she is asked about her pet, slowly turns and points a shaky hand down the hall behind

the dog and the old woman. Monique sits in the back of the ambulance with both of them, asking gentle questions about the animal, as Jo drives to a nearby vet.

Once there, the old woman is helped out of the ambulance, grabs this reporter’s hand, and doesn’t let go until walking the 15 metres to the door of the vet. She takes very small steps, doesn’t say much, and smiles every time she is looked at. But her glazed eyes seem to

‘Of course, it’s not only handling animals,’ adds Jo, ‘but also people.’ her. There, in the kitchen of her small, ground-floor home, a cinnamon-coloured poodle is standing, back legs trembling, looking at nothing in particular. On top of his back is a plastic footstool, resting somewhat like a saddle. Evidently, the dog, which is 14 years old and completely blind, walked under the stool and is now carrying it.

Monique speaks reassuringly to the animal, removes the footstool, and gently puts her hands on its fur, checking for injuries. Beyond a coat full of fleas and its decrepit old age, no harm is immediately apparent.

A leash is attached to the animal’s collar, and everyone exits the house, collectively slowing down to the pace of

suggest something deeper than mere concern for an ageing dog.

The vet takes them in to be examined and Monique and Jo agree to wait, ensuring the old woman has a ride home. ‘We try to accommodate them as much as we can,’ explains Jo, while Monique follows the doctor into the examination room. ‘It depends on how many ambulances are on the road; we can’t guarantee that we’ll be on time to pick them up—especially if there’s an emergency.’

After about 20 minutes, the door of the examination room opens and the old woman comes out sobbing. The vet has advised that the dog be put to sleep. It has heart problems, trouble breathing and, in general, little quality of life. The vet tells

Swan’s song Out in the ambulance, the kitten is sleeping peacefully. They drive past an AH to go, grab a few sandwiches, and head to the next call. It’s become something of a regular thing—for the past month, they’ve been trying to catch the same sick goose.

Each time they try, it flies off into the water. ‘We can’t get them if they’re in the water,’ explains Monique. ‘We don’t have boats or any water equipment. Often we must wait until they’re too weak to escape.’

Today is that day. The sick bird is too tired to fly very far, and doesn’t stay long in the water. After a couple unsuccessful attempts with the large net, Monique slowly walks up to the bird holding out a piece of sandwich bread. Hyperventilating, it doesn’t resist. Monique calmly takes the animal in her arms, carrying it to the ambulance.

Two older ladies walk by. ‘Look, they finally caught the sick goose.’ ‘The what?’

‘The sick goose, look.’ ‘Oh, the poor darling.’ ‘I see him here everyday. He looks awful.’ ‘Oh, the poor darling.’

Jo drives to the nearby emergency vet and Monique sits in the back again, steadying the goose on her lap while holding an oxygen mask to its beak. The bird’s tongue, which was turning bluish, slowly returns to a healthier salmon colour. The kitten watches through its cage, one paw holding onto the bars.

In the emergency waiting room, a young couple sit with their dog in a box, somewhat stunned at the sight of a large goose being carried in. Jo rings the bell, and, after a short minute that feels too long, the busy vet comes out quickly from the back. ‘Ach, sjonga. OK, bring her in.’ The bird’s tongue is turning blue again.

Once on the examination table, the doctor inspects the long throat, gently squeezing, checking for obstructions. She looks into its mouth with a flashlight. The goose tries to struggle, but has little strength after the prolonged illness. Dark little eyes look around the room; its agonised breathing becomes more strained.

The doctor exchanges quick words with the ambulance drivers and a decision is made. A clear fluid is injected into the animal’s foot, and within seconds, the bird rests her head on the table. The breathing stops. It’s all over.

‘I agree with the vet,’ Monique would later explain. ‘We couldn’t find anything in the throat blocking it. Sure, you could do surgery, but if it can’t even breathe...

The best thing is to simply give it peace.’

The bird is placed into a large, grey plastic bag and taken back to the ambulance. The young couple in the waiting room glance fearfully at the lumpy form in the grey bag. Outside, the floor of the ambulance is quickly sterilised as dark clouds return in the sky, dropping a sudden torrent of rainfall. The groggy kitten meows.

‘We can finally take the little cat in,’ says Monique. ‘Poor guy. He’s probably traumatised after all that.’ www.dierenambulance-amsterdam.nl

29 March-4 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

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SHORT LIST

Harald Thys & Jos de Gruyter, Sunday, The Go-Between

THURSDAY 29 MARCH Theatre: Blind Blind is about three different women in the 1990s, a time when life was all about individualism, forcing your opinion upon others—and also a time when compromise was not an option. First is the girl who likes to go clubbing at the RoXY and get high on ecstasy. Second is a young woman whose anti-social life revolves around computers—but when her neighbour is found lying dead for two weeks, she realises she’s afraid of dying alone and changes her life. The last of the trio is a woman who organises company outings; things are going great until she moves in with her boyfriend of two months and everything goes downhill. Carola Arons directs Tom Helmer and Willem de Vlam’s script, while Lizzy Timmers portrays the lives of all the women, wondering about liberty, leisure and happiness.

In Dutch. (Shyama Daryanani) Theater Bellevue, 20.30, €10.50-€12. Until Saturday.

Art/Electronic Music: Impakt Aside from the numerous video, film and art screenings in Utrecht’s Louis Hartlooper Complex, the Impakt festival this year is featuring two noteworthy exhibitions in the neighbouring Centraal Museum. Swedish artist Miriam Bäckström became known for her suggestive photographs of interiors devoid of human presence. Since 2004, she has made several films concentrating on naked emotions as portrayed by actors. Rebecka, for instance, is a gripping 42-minute video in which the off-screen artist harshly incites well-known Swedish actress Rebecka Hemse to perform a wide variety of roles. The other exhibition, Modern Living, focuses on artist Ursula Mayer, who reinterprets contemporary architecture through her video works. Tonight opens with an electronic audiovisual performance by Carsten Nicolai in Tivoli De Helling. Other music nights hosted by the venue during the festival feature extreme ensembles like Austria’s Fuckhead on Friday and more mellow acts like the UK’s Plaid on Saturday. See www.impakt.nl. (Marinus de Ruiter) Louis Hartlooper Complex, Tivoli De Helling and Utrecht Centraal Museum, Utrecht, various times and prices. Until Sunday.

FRIDAY 30 MARCH Festival: London Calling Every six months, this two-day festival at Paradiso brings over all the newest and hippest (or hyped-est) guitar talent from the British Isles. Although the extensive lineup usually contains one or another mediocrity, the event is nevertheless an excellent

opportunity to check out a lot of bands and find a few new favourites. From The Wombats’ happy-go-lucky indie pop to new singer-songwriter sensation Kate Nash to art-punk-pop by The Victorian English Gentlemen’s Club, there’s something for everyone. Even the locals get their say this time, with Amsterdam’s own Moke—hotly tipped for making it big time this year, which is maybe why they got a slot at the usually exclusively British affair. This London Calling sold out faster than any of the earlier ones, but for those who weren’t quick enough in the ticket run, there’s still the afterparties on both nights, where there’ll be even more bands to catch. (Sarah Gehrke) Paradiso, 19.30, sold out. Also Saturday.

Festival: no_)toon) Due to financial problems, there will be no )toon) festival this year in Haarlem. However, this weekend’s no_)toon) festival should fill the void for those who hunger for the more out-there and challenging sounds and visions. Yes indeed folks, we are dealing with the avant-garde here. Some examples: British artist/musician Max Eastley will present his ‘Kinetic drawings’, Dutch artist Marissa Evers will play the plumbing of the Nieuwe Vide gallery building, De Hallen will ring with the sounds of various fucked-up electronica artists, industrial noise-funksters Sand will rock the Patronaat, and Rob Young, former editor of bleeding-edge music mag The Wire will give a lecture on the importance and future of music—and its continued blurring with the boundaries of art. See www.toonfestival.nl for the full heady programme. (Steve Korver) Various locations and times, Haarlem, €10 festival pass. Also Saturday and Sunday.

SATURDAY 31MARCH Sex: Open Wallen Dag Everything you always wanted to know about prostitutes but were afraid to ask. Yep, it’s Open Wallen Dag again, so today all Randy Andies have a legitimate excuse to head for the Red Light District. That said, there will be a handful of male prozzies in windows, too. So ladies, this is your perfect excuse to spend your weekly groceries budget on a hunk instead of haricot verts. One of the men showing off his body in a window, is DJ ADHDave (David Rouw) from Radio 100&NL. He claims it’s not just a publicity stunt, and that he will show what he’s capable of if he gets any customers. Well, after his wife has ‘paid’ the first visit, that is. Head for the info desk at Oudekersplein where, for one euro, you can buy a brochure showing all the places you can visit. The big, erm, climax of the day will take place at 17.00 sharp when the world’s first-ever statue in praise of female sex workers, made by Els Rijerse, will be unveiled. (Willem de Blaauw) Various locations in Red Light District, 12.00-18.00, free.

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29 March-4 April 2007

Gay: Speed-dating for HIV+ gay men Speed-dating for gay men? Isn’t that what normally happens in darkrooms and sex parties? Seriously, setting aside crude remarks about five-minute affairs that aren’t in the slightest way amusing or true, this event could well be a wonderful idea. According to organisers Poz and Proud—a radical group within the HIV Vereniging—this will be the world’s first-ever speed-dating event for gay men who are positive. As many HIV+ people will tell you, finding a lover, a partner or even a one-night stand isn’t easy, especially if one is positive and the other isn’t, and that’s why some HIV+ gay men prefer to date men who share their status. There’s room for 60 guys and each date will last three minutes. To register, you have to be gay, HIV+ and single. If there are more than 60 applications, you’ll be put on a waiting list. To take part, act swift: register at the bar, call the HIV Vereniging between 14.00-22.00 on 689 2577, or e-mail pozandproud@hivnet.org (Willem de Blaauw) PRIK, 15.00, free.

Club: Spank Spank Spank Spank is not just a fun thing to do when it’s raining outide. It’s also a great club night, one that buttresses internationally renowned DJs, party favours and plenty of tunes on top of its brilliantly suggestive title. This time around at the Wilhelmina, Rush Hour Records—who promote and organise the evening—have invited Peel Seamus, GString, Funknoir and Aroy Dee to share in the spanking good time, along with a yet to be announced headliner. What is promised is ‘jackin’ warehouse madness’, which amounts to climactic, heavy-hitting electronic music that borrows everything from industrial to lounge, focusing on the sexier sounds embedded in the whole lot. A truly collaborative effort, as Amsterdam-based Delsin Records is adding another sweaty palm to the bottom end of the evening, Spank Spank should leave you red, tingly and wondering afterwards where all the delightful bruises came from. (Shain Shapiro) Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €7.

SUNDAY1APRIL Exhibition: The Go-Between From most of April, De Bijlmer is host to the Go-Between, a series of art projects inspired by and taking place in the very heart of that district. The notion of ‘gobetween’ is inspired by the observation of certain peculiarities of everyday life in De Bijlmer, such as the unconventional use of business buildings employed as churches, or the existence of resourceful economies like the self-run taxi services. Ten artists will present projects that somehow reflect the special Bijlmer feel, while retaining their own specific artistic language. Mark Hosking from the UK, for instance, investigates the ill-fated El Al cargo plane crash that took place there in 1992. Hosking created a sculptural response to the event that traces the spiralling downward path of the plane with lamps borrowed from nearby houses that he’s customised to burn paraffin oil. His sculpture could be read as another memorial to this historical accident. Base-camp for the exhibitions is Florijn 42. See http://deappeljuice.com. (Shafiq Aziz) Florijn 42, free

Jazz: Rob van Bavel/Sister Bop If you happen to be wearing a hat, kindly take it off to the Jazz Impulse foundation.

Led by the tireless Bob Hagen, the foundation produces a prodigious diversity of jazz concerts throughout the Netherlands. Yet if the series has a shortcoming, it’s that the concerts’ double bills sometimes seem jerrybuilt, with the programme’s two halves largely unrelated. Not so tonight, with this winning twosome of threesomes. Muchadmired Dutch pianist Rob van Bavel—who’s worked with Wynton Marsalis and Johnny Griffin—leads off, fronting a bassist and a drummer for a mix of original tunes and standards. And Sister Bop is a virtuoso trio of female vocalists, performing new songs alongside a cappella remixes of off-the-beaten-path bop rareties. The evening should be both intimate and highly lively—as well as a fascinating study in jazz contrasts. (Steve Schneider) Concertgebouw, Kleine Zaal, 20.15, €20.

WEDNESDAY 4 APRIL Theatre: Blackbird She was 12 and he was 40. Ray (Derek de Lint) is a man with a past: he spent four years in jail for having a sexual relationship with Una (Heike Wisse). When he got out of prison, he left town, changed his name, got himself an office job and a girlfriend (now the mother of his child) who is about the same age Una was during the time of their affair. His life is finally on track until one day, Una walks back into his life. It has been 15 years since they last saw each other. She wants to know what he remembers about them and she wants to tell him what she has been through because of him. She has never forgotten what happened—but neither, it transpires, has Ray. Written by David Harrower and directed by Maaike van Langen, Blackbird raises complex questions about the nature of the two people’s relationship. Was it love or sexual abuse? In Dutch. (Shyama Daryanani) Theater Bellevue, 20.30, €12.50€15.00. Until 8 April.

Send details and images for listing consideration at least two weeks in advance to agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl.

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007

20.30, €20 Rock: Hospital Bombers A cornucopia of bands including Hospital Bombers, alt rock group Zoppo, post-art noise group Pupille and The Moi Non Plus with drums, guitar and samples. Bitterzoet, 21.00, €6

Sunday 1 April Reggae: 2-year anniversary Celebrate their birthday with The Spliff Tail Posse (featuring Crucial T and Guzz) and Karmakonga. Pacific Parc, 10.00-5.00, free Classical: Matthäus Passion (See Friday) Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 12.00, €55 Classical: Brahms, Debussy, Liszt Chamber music trio with Guillaume Coppola on piano, Joanna Wronko on violin and Gerard Boeters on, yes, another piano.

Four strings and 176 keys: always a great time. See Short List. Concertgebouw, Kleine Zaal, 14.30, €23.50 Experimental: no-)toon) Festival Former head editor of The Wire, Rob Young will be on hand to read text (in English), while Martijn Tellinga plays electronic compositions and solo guitar-looping master Machinefabriek builds walls of sampled sound. See Short List. Grasland, Haarlem, 14.30, €10 festival pass

Tinariwen, see Monday

MUSIC Send listing suggestions at least two weeks in advance to agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl.

Thursday 29 March DJ: DaanModern Popular local DJ mixes nostalgia from the ’60s with modern and jazzy numbers. Pacific Parc, 10.00, free Rock: Emergenza Unknown bands around the world are practising like crazy to make it to the next round in this, the largest international battle of the bands.

Come out to vote for your favourite locals, who will go to the national finales in the Melkweg and later the global finals in Germany. P60, Amstelveen, 19.30, €15 Folk: Benjamin Winter and the Make Believe Californian singer-songwriter backed by cello, bass and drums. Winston Kingdom, 20.00, €5 World: Netsayi Born in Camden but raised in Zimbabwe, Netsayi sings in both English and her native tongue, Shona, while blending Afro pop, jazz, soul and folk. Sugar Factory, 20.00, €10 Pop/Rock: Gianna Nannini After recording over 20 albums, this 50-year-old Italian singer-songwriter still retains more energy than your average young pop star, and she’s got more to say (if you understand Italian). Nannini arrives here with songs from her recent CD Grazie and is backed by both a rock band and the Sohi String Quartet. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €22.50 + membership

loud stadium rock à la Aerosmith and Guns N’ Roses.

And they do it quite well. Support by Black Stone Cherry. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 20.00, €12 + membership Hiphop: Juize.FM presents: Rock the Mic Heavy hiphop night with rappers Raymzter, Lloyd Demeza, Kempi and PLS; DJs Ill Skillz and Chief (Soulsearchin’); and the group Dramanol. Also Solid Ground Movement, the first hiphop school in Amsterdam, will organise the breakdance ‘Open Circle’. All hosted by MC Negativ, it’ll be a bumpin’ night. Melkweg, The Max, 20.00, €7 + membership Folk: Loreena McKennitt Performing for over 20 years, this Canadian sings her own compositions and traditional Celtic folk songs, plays the harp, and has sold thousands of albums. But beware, her sounds can float dangerously into New Age smoothness.

Heineken Music Hall, 20.00, €44-€54 Pop/Rock: Tom Cat A fun and friendly punk band where it’s safe to bring your little sister. Blijburg, 21.00, free Rock: Rave Cats Stray Cats tribute band. Maloe Melo, 22.00, free Latin: Santanico House band Santanico jams with Latin dance music and occasional rock tunes. Bourbon Street, 22.00, free before 23.00, €5 Punk: Black Ice American post-punk band that explores the darker side of the genre. Popular with deathrock fans. OCCII, 22.00-04.00, €6 DJ: eRRorKREW Winner of the highly exclusive Prix de Nuit, eRRorKREW organises another beat-spinning night, with experimental acid, electro and techno in Room 1 and deep techno in Room 2. Studio 80, 23.00, €9

Hiphop: Big Daddy Kane Straight outta Brooklyn, this veteran rapper was huge 20 years ago and, despite waning record sales, has never slowed his flow.

Known to have jump-started Jay-Z’s career and influenced a hoard of others, Kane delivers smooth old-school hiphop like the pioneer he is. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 21.00, €20 + membership

Saturday 31 March

Rock: Gra8chaoskaravaan07 A benefit concert for the Gra8chaoskaravaan, a group of political bikers against the G8 and global capitalism. Bands with appropriate names include punkers De Bakfietsboys and U-Lock Justice. OCCII, 21.00, €3

Experimental: no-)toon) Festival Sights and sound from the out-there. See Short List. Hallen, Haarlem, 19.00, €10 festival pass

Jazz: Roy Nathanson’s Sotto Voce Jazz quintet where voice plays the key role—but not in the usual ways. Saxophone, trombone, violin and bass blend with human beatbox and spoken word, among other vocal explorations. Bimhuis, 21.00, €16 DJ: STRFCKR DJ collective comprising folks from London, Barcelona, Belgrade and our own backyard. Flex Bar, 23.00, €5

Friday 30 March Emergenza (See Thursday) P60, Amstelveen, 19.30, €15 Pop/Rock: London Calling (See Short List) Paradiso, 19.30, sold out Classical: Matthäus Passion Sir Roger Norrington conducts the Koninklijk Concertgebouworkest, Groot Omroepkoor and the National Kinderkoor in the popular Bach number. A sheer delight for anyone who can afford it. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 19.30, €55 Rock: Hinder A quick success in America, this rock quintet aims to try nothing new and proudly boasts

DJ: Electronation Born with a vinyl spoon in his mouth, 21-year-old DJ John Dahlback is already a huge name in the big beat world. Tonight the popular young Swede spins with support from DJs Mason and Dave Ellesmere. Sugar Factory, 0.00-05.00, €10

Pop/Rock: London Calling (See Short List) Paradiso, 19.30, sold out Americana: Bright Eyes The songs by former indie wunderkind Conor Oberst vary from ballads balancing on the thin line between emotion and pathos to mocking political songs like ‘When The President Talks To God’. Already his seventh album, Cassadaga mixes orchestral sounds with heavy country rock. Support by Malcolm Middleton. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 20.30, sold out Classical: Nederlands Kamerorkest & Kamerkoor Gordan Nikolic conducts Jan Dismas Zelenka’s Miserere, Mozart’s Symfonie No.25, Krzystof Penderecki’s Stabat Mater, and Bach’s Cantate No.182 ‘Himmelskönig sei willkommen’. Muziekgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €30 World: Servus Gypsy orchestra that plays trad tunes from Hungary and Romania, along with original compositions and Russian, Yiddish and Yugoslavian folk songs. This year marks their 20th anniversary as a group, who’re been nothing short of masters ever since the start. KHL Koffiehuis, 20.30, free World: Sheikh Ahmad Al-Tûni There are few great Egyptian singers in the Sufi tradition left, and this 70 year old is one of the best. Tropentheater, Grote Zaal,

Classical: Beethoven Sonatas Violinist Jószef Lendvay and pianist Klára Würtz perform Beethoven Sonatas No.8, No.9 and No.10. Muziekgebouw, Grote Zaal, 15.00, €25 Classical: Karamazov Quartet The resonant old church will be filled with the sounds of string quartet from Haydn (C Op. 20 No.2), Beethoven (D Op. 18 No.3) and Shostakovich (A minor Op. 118, No.10).

English Reformed Church, 15.15, free Rock: Fret a-Live After a big success three years ago, music mag FRET initiates another festival for some of the most-loved bands in the Dutch music scene. Lineup includes Intwine, C-Mon & Kypski, A balladeer, Lefties Soul Connection, Green Lizard, DiceCream, Malle Pietje & The Bimbos and Nina. Melkweg, 19.00, €15 + membership Rock: Zita Swoon Six-man band from Belgium, this indie rock group not only became hugely popular with the fans, but their own government started singing along, awarding them 1.5 million francs and naming them Cultural Ambassador of Flanders. Tip Toe Topic opens the night. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 19.30, €20 + membership Jazz: Trio Rob van Bavel/Sister Bop Double-header from the Jazz Impulse foundation. See Short List. Concertgebouw, Kleine Zaal, 20.15, €20 Contemporary: Calefax Reed Quintet Oboe, clarinet, sax, bass clarinet and bassoon play vibrating music from Ravel, Monteverdi, Bach, Schönberg, Gesualdo, and Strauss. Muziekgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €17.50 DJ: Living in Oblivion DJane Ms Fortune and DJ CCCP bolster new wave and really, really happy dance tunes in the vein of ‘It’s Raining Men’. Followed by live act Miguel and The Living Dead. Winston Kingdom, 21.00-03.00, €6 Experimental: Eternals Mixing dub, funk, indie rock and blaring horns, this Chicago threesome create jumping, fiery sounds that are somewhat difficult to define. They also carry the motto ‘Dance to the government lies in the club’. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.15, €6 + membership

Monday 2 April Singer-songwriter: Eleni Mandell California girl with breathy vocals and the usual guitar chords. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €7.50 + membership World: Susana Baca Known as the queen of Peruvian music, this two-time Latin Grammy Award winner tours the world to share her Afro-Peruvian music and culture, and is responsible for the genre’s revival in the mid-’90s. Backed up by guitars, percussion and cajón.

Muziekgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €25 DJ: Cool Schmool! DJ Marcelle van Hoffe (AKA Another Nice Mess of DFM radio) plays her usual unpredictable selection of beats and samples. Followed by DJs Kids on TV and 3-1. OCCII, 21.00, €5 Rock: Scraps of Tape Swedish band with avant-garde tendencies. Also Winterbirds (indie folk) and Boilersuit (catchy guitar tunes). Bitterzoet, 21.00, €6 World: Tinariwen Highly active in the political problems of their own Taureg peoples, Tinariwen mixes ‘Maliblues’ and traditional Arabic rhythms with good ol’ rock and reggae. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 21.00, €16 + membership Salsa: Rumbatá Known for being the best salsa band in this little country of the Lowlands may not be so impressive, but this multicultural group bring the real

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Go to www.amsterdamweekly.nl and click on OFF THE WALL to win tickets to one of these nightlife events. To advertise your club night or concert, contact Simone Klomp at 020 522 5200 or Simone@amsterdamweekly.nl. The next page appears on 25 April.

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007 spicy thing, with screaming horns, tight percussion and dance-inducing rhythms that can bring a beached whale back to life. Sugar Factory, 21.00-01.00, €8.50 DNK-Amsterdam Experimental jazz with John Hegre and Lasse Marhaug. OT301, 21.30, €4 Rock: Union of Knives Fuzzy guitars and industrial beats under somewhat teenage lyrics that fall perfectly in line with their name. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.00, €6

Tuesday 3 April Contemporary: Wilde Bloesem On the threshold of tomorrow’s musical legacy, nine students collaborate with the Asko Ensemble to present ‘9x7’: nine new works, each seven minutes long. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €12.50

Wednesday 4 April

Little Feat Rock: Little Feat Nearly 40 years ago, this American seven-piece band started playing their hybrid of classic rock with funk, folk, blues and rockabilly. Despite the greying hair and rounder bellies, they’re still going strong, driven by their seemingly endless songwriting prowess. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €25 + membership Rock: Do the Undo Dutch band led by guitarist Anne Soldaat, with back-up on organ, bass and drums. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.00, €9 + membership

Sugar Bash All of the club’s favourite saccharine personalities will be there for day two of birthday two partying. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €12, free before 12.00

Saturday 31 March Stofpop Six bands made up of 18 and 19 year olds, each playing a 30-minute set for a similarly adolescent audience. Those over the age and in the mood also welcome. Sugar Factory, 19.30-23.00, €5 Spank Spank Spankin’ warehouse madness, apparently. See Short List. Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €7 Platinum Club, groove and house beats worth more than solid gold. The Zebra, 22.00-04.00, €10 Static Live performance by Exercise One, DJs Jay Haze and Bart Skills, plus VJs Out of Order. 11, 22.0004.00, €15 Mama’s feestje Flabbergasted Collective, Kubiekemeester & Missliz, Jay-Dee and other DJs with creative names. Studio 80, 23.00, €7.50 + membership Olympique de Feestspelen Blending club fun with Olympic competition, this huge party with three rooms and eight DJs has everyone donning costumes representing anything found in an arena—Roman gladiators, biker babes, football players, you name it.

Along with the usual dancing madness, those who show up in teams of 8+ with matching attire can participate in games like Rollator racing, ping-pong, mini golf and Twister. See www.olympique.nu. Hotel de Goudfazant, 23.00-05.30, €20 Gemengd Zwemmen Two rooms of noise. In the Max it’s classic ’80s; in the Oude Zaal, expect a mix of indie, pop, rock and dance tunes. Melkweg, 24.00, €8

Sunday 1 April Latin Fever Combination of salsa and Brazilian music for those with great dance moves. Those without: show up early for the free dance workshop. Panama, 20.30-02.00, €12.50 Bash Out Saturday Pure house. Club Magazijn, 22.00-04.00, €5, free before 23.00

CLUBS

WickedJazzSounds Jazz, hiphop, broken beats, nujazz, funk and Afro sounds, as classic vinyl collides with live musicians. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €8.50

Wednesday 4 April Thursday 29 March De Dixo Urban, electro, pop and rock, along with live rock bands Mama Loo and the Sugarettes. Club Meander, 22.00-03.00, €4

08BAR If you bring it, they will play it. Show up with your nastiest beats and get free entrance along with an audience. There’ll also be an open-jam session on stage with various music-making devices. Bitterzoet, 22.00-00.00, €5

Lucy Lee Funk, groove, house and urban. The Zebra, 22.00-03.00, €5 Poppourri Student night! Remember, you may be getting older, but students stay the same age. Go and pick one up tonight. Club 8, 22.00-03.00, €5 Herotiek Sexy house and urban beats from Porno DJ & Webcam Girls, Robocock, MC Gelly and other notso-subtle DJ names. Odeon, 22.00-05.00, €11.99 Vreemd Doubly outlandish and two times the electro.

Vreemd DJs ring in the two-year anniversary for the Sugar Factory. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €10

Friday 30 March Power versus Power in da House Drum & bass, breakbeat, jungle and beatcore. OT301, 22.00, €4 Camping Disco Skipping spring fever and jumping straight into summer heat, partygoers should come clad in the skimpiest outfit they’d wear to a sweltering campsite. Club 8, 22.00-04.00, €7.50 The Zoo Animalistic grooves from DJs Manga and Jean. The Zebra, 22.00-04.00, €10 The Basement Hiphop, R&B and soul. Ladies free till midnight. Melkweg, The Max, 23.00, €17 + membership Traffic Dance and house with the likes of Matt O’ Brien, Fiend & Friends AKA Anton Pieete & Boyconstrictor and Bart Skills. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 23.00, €15 + membership Rush DJs include Brian S and Gene Farris. Panama, 23.00-04.00, €15

GAY& LESBIAN Thursday 29 March Cocktail Night Fancy drinks in Gay Street’s newest bar. ’t Leeuwtje, (15.00-01.00) Pimp my Drink Get an extra dose of booze for €1.

PRIK, (16.00-01.00) Homo Ambtenaren Borrel Monthly borrel for gay civil servants to meet and mingle. Rouge, (18.00-01.00) Red Hot Salsa Night For your weekly dose of tequiladrinking and Latin hip-shaking. Lellebel, 21.00-03.00

Friday 30 March Dirty Dancing Have the time of your life: push those lounge beds up against the wall to make space, and then indulge in some proper dirty dancing at this new monthly gay party. Supperclub, (00.00-04.00), free Women’s Night Weekly night for ladies-lovin’ ladies and all their friends. Café Sappho, (18.00-03.00)

Supermarkt Groove, soul and pop from Chapel, Leroy Rey and St Paul. Hotel Arena, 23.00-04.00, €10

Saturday 31 March

Go!Crunc Go!Geil House music at its purest. Odeon, 23.00-05.00, €12.00

Twisted Classic & Electric Tunes With DJ Nooky on the turntables. PRIK, (16.00-03.00), free

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Amsterdam Weekly

14

Free tickets!

29 March-4 April 2007

Go to www.amsterdamweekly.nl and click on OFF THE WALL to win tickets to one of these nightlife events. To advertise your club night or concert, contact Simone Klomp at 020 522 5200 or Simone@amsterdamweekly.nl. The next page appears on 25 April.

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007 Sexy & Gorgeous A new girly party—and God knows we need one of those—hosted by DJ Paulien. Café Sappho, (18.00-03.00)

HIV+ speed-dating Fast flirting organised especially for gay men with HIV. Register via the HIV Vereniging: call 689 2577, email pozandproud@hivnet.org or sign the list behind the bar at PRIK. See Short List, PRIK, 15.00, free

Sunday 1 April Easy Sunday Live jazz and soul music provide a nice, laid-back sabbath vibe. Soho, (18.00-02.00), free Jam Session Get up there with the stars of the house at this open-stage night. Lellebel, (19.00-03.00) De Trut Cheap ’n’ cheerful weekly club night, to make the weekend last as long as possible. De Trut, (23.0004.00), €1.50

Monday 2 April GGD Goes Clubbing Another chance to get a free prik—of the hep B protecting kind. Same Place, (20.00-22.30) Blue Monday Alternative dance night. Vrankrijk, 22.00-02.00

Tuesday 3 April Bingo evening Hosted by Kimberly Clark & Miss Dela Vita, who give away the first prize of the night: an 11inch dildo. Queen's Head, (16.00-01.00)

LEKKER BEZIG clients is free of obliga‘I like the new experiROSE tions: me going there, ences, sometimes of Philosophy student/Professional escort leaving, and that’s it. things I would never Extremely vrijblijvend. do. I mean, I don’t go But something hapout for drinks with my pens in these two or friends in the Okura three hours. You’re Hotel. I’ve met really kind of stuck with each interesting people, as other. And you have to well. And I can enjoy find a way to connect, having sex with my to figure out a problem clients, it’s not like I do together, the problem— it mechanically. Some the obligation—of of the men really know having intercourse. what they’re doing, ‘My first date. He contrary to some men was this psychoanamy age. But there are lyst, from the also many cases of US—kinda dorky, but erectie-problemen. Or very funny, charmmen who just have no But, well, reading ing. I’ve met some clue—some think Heidegger is difficult businessmen with you’re a porn star and enough as it is. whom I didn’t have like to have five fingers much of a connection, in your vagina. or many things to talk ‘What is really difabout. But this guy was interesting. We ficult for me are the late hours. talked Freud.

Sometimes I sleep very little and the next ‘The man I’m meeting tonight, I really day I try to study, but, well, reading Heilike him, even though he’s in his sixties, degger is difficult enough as it is. for God’s sake, but he’s very attractive, ‘My job makes me think a lot about very intelligent. generosity. I think women who do this, ‘I don’t tell people that I do this, but and enjoy it, must have a very extreme sometimes I wonder what would happen if form of generosity. You have to be able to it would come out. Maybe I’ll become a be generous without conditions, somefamous philosopher and people will judge how. People might think: “Well, you’re me if they know. Though in the end, I realjust being generous because you’re getly can’t think of any reason why not to do ting money in return,” which is true, but this. Can you?’

I don’t think that money and sex are the same kind of currency.

Email questions or comments to: ‘There is a certain dialectics in the rose.amber.smith@gmail.com. whole thing. In some ways, how I meet my NADINE HOTTENROTT

HIV+ speed-dating

15

Wednesday 4 April Fabulous Cocktail Night All cocktails €5, plus some really nice finger-lickin’ finger food. Arc, (10.00-01.00) Paleis van de Weemoed A night for older gay men and women. With tunes varying from ’30s ditties to ’70s disco, plus artists, drag queens and live performers. Brought to you by ArtLaunch. Paleis van Weemoed, (18.00-23.00), €7.50 Gay Prize Bridge Weekly gay bridge night, cosy and comfortable. De Looier, (19.30-23.00), €5 Gay Classic Movies After a free welcome drink (at 20.30), there’ll be a screening of Love and Death on Long Island, and for all who want more, a 2-for-1 drink offer afterwards at April. Pathé De Munt, 21.00, €7 F*ng Pop Queers Get on the dance floor all you pop tarts as tonight it’s hits, hits, hits till the early morn.

Studio 80, 23.00-late, €5

Opening

Theatre: Sukkels Two brothers go looking for happiness and end up burgling a house. Not only are they amateurs when it comes to bliss, but also at committing petty crime. And their guardian angel is new on the job. By Huis aan de Amstel. In Dutch. Rozentheater, (Thur-Sat 20.00), €12.50

Theatre: Diplodocus Deks When a dinosaur fossil is unearthed near a small village, no one really cares at first—until project developer Saïd arrives from the big city and causes uproar with plans to turn the village into a giant dinosaur theme park. In Dutch. Rozentheater, (Wed 20.00), €12.50

Blackbird Theatre: Blackbird David Harrower’s daring drama about forbidden love directed by Maaike van Langen.

In Dutch. See Short List. Theater Bellevue, (Wed 20.30), €15

Ongoing Dance: Points of View Het Nationale Ballet perform four premieres in one programme: Duets with choreography by Merce Cunningham and music by John Cage; Kammerballett by Hans van Manen and Kara Karayev/Domenico Scarlatti; New Choreography for Large Ensemble by Ted Brandsen and John Adams; and a world premiere from Annabelle Lopez Ochoa.

Het Muziektheater, (Thur, Wed 20.15, Sun 14.00), €20-€32.50 Theatre: After The End After a catastrophe of uncertain cause and dimensions—a nuclear attack? an environmental disaster?—Mark and co-worker Louise are trapped in a basement shelter. Though properly equipped with canned food and board games, soon enough, boredom, fear and paranoia set in. In Dutch.

Frascati, (Thur-Sat 21.00), €12 Theatre: Tragedie Written for a selection of actors from Toneelgroep Amsterdam, this new play by Gerardjan Rijnders is a montage of quotes, original texts and separate monologues, featuring a Greek chorus who watch with indifference as tragedies take place the world over. In Dutch. Compagnietheater, (ThurSat, Tues, Wed 20.30), €18 Theatre: Wees ons genadig This new play by Alex van Warmerdam and De Mexicaanse Hond features three men, all artists, and one woman who wants to be their muse. The artists’ poor success rate raises the question of talentlessness—that of men or muse? In Dutch.

Stadsschouwburg, (Thur-Sun 20.15), €11.50-€22.50

STAGE Dance: Inbetween An ironic commentary on ’60s science fiction films and the cold, futuristic worlds that were created in them. Performed by Austrian dance company Cie. Willi Dorner. Melkweg, (Thur, Fri 20.30), €9

Theatre: Maeterlinck Christoph Marthaler’s new piece is inspired by Belgian writer Maurice Maeterlinck’s fairy tale De blauwe vogel (The Blue Bird), and around which the director creates a dreamlike universe filled with music. In Dutch. Stadsschouwburg, (Tues, Wed 20.15), €11.50-€25

Bambie 10 Theatre: Bambie 10 A production by mime theatre group Bambie, with cynicism as central theme. Frascati, (Thur-Sat 20.30), €14 Music/Theatre: De Wereldband: Keet From Celtic folk to flamenco, from hillbilly to quelea and from klezmer to pop: this music theatre group mix all styles possible to produce a right happy-go-lucky show. De Kleine Komedie, (Fri, Sat 20.15), €12.50-€16.50

Theatre/Dance: Is-Man This is director Adelheid Roosen’s next step in her quest to improve cross-cultural communication, this time from a male perspective.

There are two characters: a man who has committed murder to preserve his own honour and his Westernised son, bewildered by his father’s act and questioning the laws of his forefathers. In Dutch. De Brakke Grond, (Thur-Sun 20.30), €15 Dance: THREE A trio of works from Israel’s Batsheva Dance Company, who perform an explosive release of movements in unparalleled solos and duets. Het Muziektheater, (Fri, Sat 20.15), €15-€3

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Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007

Carlos Amorales, Montevideo, see Opening

ART Opening Dark Mirror The differences between the actions of man and beast are not always as great as we like to think. This group exhibition of video art and film explores the relationship between our social conditioning and animal instincts, often depicting the prominence of human emotion and instinct over rational thought.

Opening begins 17.00. Montevideo/Time Based Arts (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00) opens Friday until 19 May Grafiek portfolio Ten internationally renowned artists offer new works in support of the museum’s renewal.

Eberhard Havekost, Sarah Morris, Dirk Skreber, Jonathan Meese, Daniel Richter, Gert and Uwe Tobias, Angus Fairhurst, Luc Tuymans, Wilhelm Sasnal and Michael Raedecker have all signed their pieces, available in a limited printing of 100 portfolios. All profits go towards costs for the museum’s new building.

Stedelijk Museum CS (Daily 10.00-18.00), opens Friday, until 1 May Testimony One of the most influential—and published—photo-journalists, Nachtwey has spent more than 20 years visiting crisis areas like Rwanda, Afghanistan, Bosnia and Northern Ireland. This exhibition reflects his sense of responsibility to give a voice to victims. Foam (Sun-Wed 10.00-17.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), opens Friday Persia The St Petersburg Hermitage lends some of its dazzling collection of Persian art to Amsterdam. This exhibition includes antiquities of the Islamic period all through the end of the Qajar dynasty in 1925. Hermitage Amsterdam (Daily 10.00-17.00), opens Saturday New Horizons Subtitled Room for new Jewellery, this new gallery aims to cross borders both physical and metaphorical, and makes a start with the aptly named first exhibition. Galerie Rob Koudijs, opens Sunday, until 12 May

Museums Groene Vingers A close look at Amsterdam’s ‘green fingers’—the areas of the city pre-designed to pierce the urbanity. Found all over, they were created for various reasons, but by and large their function is to bring recreation in green space closer to the city dweller.

ARCAM (Tues-Sat 13.00-17.00), closing Saturday Seeing is Knowing: Perspectives in Dutch Architecture An opportunity for locals to finally take in the Netherlands’ entry at the 10th International Architecture Biennale of Venice in 2006, which explores the nation’s cities as complete, inhabitable environments rather than simply collections of disconnected buildings.

Zuiderkerk (Mon 11.00-16.00, Tues-Fri 09.00-16.00, Sat 12.00-16.00), closing Saturday Eva’s Story Showing paintings of Erich and Heinz Gieringer made while they were in hiding from the Nazi prosecutors. Verzetsmuseum (Tues-Fri 10.0017.00), until 6 April Systema Sculpturae New members of the Sculptors Collective ABK present their work in the garden and greenhouses of the Hortus. Hortus Botanicus (Mon-Fri 09.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 10.00-17.00), until 7 April

Aanwinsten 2005-2006 A presentation of recent purchases, including pieces by Francis Alÿs, Mike Kelley, William Kentridge, Philip-Lorca diCorcia, Aernout Mik and Thomas Ruff. Stedelijk Museum CS (Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), until 9 April WassinkLundgren: Empty Bottles The latest exhibition by the photographer duo, taking a concentrated look at the daily ritual of China’s refuse collectors.

Foam (Sun-Wed 10.00-17.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 11 April Istanbul From Byzantium to the Ottomans, from Constantinople to Istanbul: the exhibition focuses on Ottoman heritage, displaying nearly 300 treasures of the sultans, including exhibits from Topkapi Palace Museum. Nieuwe Kerk (Thur 10.00-22.00, Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00), until 15 April Ryan Gander: The Last Work A Docking Space event that sees Gander transform the space into a monochrome blue-painted room with an audio work playback. Visitors can experience a whispering girl express her thoughts on the nature of artistic practice and watch a video presenting the artist’s journey from his studio to his house. Stedelijk Museum CS (Daily 10.00-18.00), until 22 April Politiek in prent 2006 Last year’s political dramas in print. Persmuseum (Tues-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sun 12.0017.00), until 29 April Jan van der Heyden The first monographic exhibition in the Netherlands since 1937 of one of the leading 17th-century painters of Dutch cityscapes. See article on p. 17. Rijksmuseum (Daily 09.00-18.00), until 30 April Joan Colom: El Rava A selection of work by the Spanish photographer, featuring 84 black-and-white pictures from 1958 to 1961, all taken during Colom’s nearly daily visits to Barcelona’s Barrio Chino district.

Known today as Raval, the neighbourhood was once a centre of prostitution and crime. Foam (Sun-Wed 10.00-17.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 13 May The Rise A work by German artists Nina Fischer and Maroan el Sani, realised during their five-month residence in Amsterdam’s Zuidas. Dealing primarily in the medium of film, they concentrate on the complex relationship between the visual language of a building, its psychological effects and the political-economic reality in which it functions. Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), until 13 May Mapping the City This group exhibition focuses on the relationship between artists and the city from 1960 to the present day. The show revolves around the way in which artists perceive urban space, with emphasis on the city as social community, its behaviour, poses and urban rituals. Stedelijk Museum CS (Daily 10.0018.00), until 20 May Ten Klooster: A Man With Two Lives Showing over 50 works by the Indonesian-Dutch artist Ten Klooster, varying from paintings to wood engravings. Tropenmuseum (Daily 10.00-17.00), until 20 May Robert Capa: Retrospective Taking a broad look at the work of Robert Capa (1913-1954), the legendary war photographer and founder of modern photojournalism. His photos of the Spanish Civil War and D-Day are etched in everyone’s memory and have shaped our image of the 20th century. Joods Historisch Museum (Daily 11.00-17.00), until 20 May Eva Besnyö: Unknown Photos Work by Eva Besnyö (1910-2003) has featured in countless publications and exhibitions. Yet after her death, many still

29 March-4 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

Amsterdam Renaissance man Jan van der Heyden was a Golden Age painter, inventor and hose maestro.

SAVVY BUSINESSMAN SAVED MANY LIVES ART Brand! Jan van der Heyden Rijksmuseum, until 30 April

By Floris Dogterom

In De Pijp, surrounded by streets that bear the names of other 17th-century painters, Jan van der Heyden has not one, but two streets named after him. Yet it’s his street lights and fire hoses, rather than the products of his paintbrush, that are truly epoch-making.

The Amsterdam Leonardo: that’s how Jan van der Heyden, or Van der Heijden, or Heyde... or—back in the day the spelling rules weren’t all that strict—is sometimes referred to.

‘That’s not correct,’ says Marijn Schapelhouman, senior curator of drawings at the Rijksmuseum. ‘Van der Heyden came from too humble a background to qualify as a Homo universalis, like Da Vinci was. He started in his brother’s company as a glasschrijver—a stained glass-maker. But you can describe him as a Renaissance man who in himself had a combined number of qualities. Because next to being a stained glass maker, he was also a painter, an inventor and a savvy businessman.’

The Rijksmuseum is currently showing a small exhibition dedicated to Van der Heyden. In one room you’ll find his oil

paintings of serene, highly detailed city views, some of which are pure architectural fantasies. The other room focuses on Van der Heyden the inventor. There, most of the items on display are drawings of houses on fire. Most eye-catching here, however, is a hose fire engine from 1720.

That needs a little explanation.

Bye bye buckets In 1652, the then 15-year-old Van der Heyden witnessed a fire in the city hall on Dam Square. The place burned down to the ground, and Van der Heyden started to develop an interest in firefighting. The first thing he did to improve the abominable fire safety situation in the city was to take the street-lighting system to a considerably higher level. In those days, firefighting meant long lines of people handing each other buckets filled with canal water—and better lighting would enable them to see what they were doing.

‘It’s not only that Van der Heyden invented, or rather improved, street lighting, he also organised all sorts of activities around his invention,’ says Schapelhouman. ‘Many people were needed to light the oil lamps and to put them out again.’ In 1669, Van der Heyden became director of Straatverlichting.

His biggest claim to fame, however, is his hose fire engine. Until then, fire engines were static affairs that needed to be filled

with buckets of water, with a fixed nozzle protruding straight up from a reservoir.

The machine had to be brought very close to whatever was on fire, with all the dire consequences. Van der Heyden and his brother Nicolaas developed a better system for pumping water, as well as a leather hose. Schapelhouman says: ‘For the preparation of this exhibition we spoke to several people from the fire brigade. They told us that Van der Heyden’s invention marked the beginning of modern-day firefighting. With the leather hose, firefighters could now go inside a burning building to locate the seat of the fire, instead of only being able to hose water from the outside,’ explains Schapelhouman. ‘And again, around his hose fire engine Van der Heyden built an organisation. He divided the city into fifty districts and installed voluntary firefighters.’

In 1685, the city installed two generaalbrandmeesters . The names of those firefighter generals? Jan van der Heyden and Jan van der Heyden, Jr. The inventor meant a great deal for the development of Amsterdam, believes Schapelhouman. ‘Socially, because the street lighting made the streets safer. The chances you’d take a ducking in a canal became less, and robbers were less well protected by darkness. Physically, this effective way of firefighting meant that many more houses were saved. Before, a fire in the predominantly wooden city used to cause pandemonium.’ Needless to say, Van der Heyden’s invention saved numerous lives, as well.

Extinguish first, draw later The drawings at the exhibition show images of buildings on fire, but also of what those buildings looked liked after their destruction. Schapelhouman, standing next to a glass case containing a big book, says: ‘All the drawings have to do

17

Elandsgracht burns on 27 July 1679.

with this book over here.’ The 1690 Bericht Wegens de Nieuw geinventeerde En Geoctroyeerde Slangbrandspuiten (‘Report on the newly invented and patented hose fire engines’) is the basis of professional literature on firefighting. ‘It’s actually a very expensive prospectus,’ explains Schapelhouman. ‘The drawings on these walls are all examples of the prints that ended up in the book. Van der Heyden claims he was an eyewitness to every fire he describes in it, from 1652 till 1690. This way he demonstrates how badly organised firefighting was, but, over the course of time, when his inventions are used more and more, much improved. With every fire, he lists what the damage was, how much costs were involved, and so on.’

Van der Heyden did not draw the fires at the time they happened, for reasons of being too busy fighting the fire. After all, he was fireman general. Most of the time, he returned to the location of the fire to draw the remainder of the buildings. Later, he’d draw the fire itself, from memory.

The museum has received some criticism about the way the exhibition has been set up. Schapelhouman elaborates: ‘Critics keep hammering on about the fact that the oil paintings are high art, while the drawings are mere documentation. But I see a clear relationship between the two: in both of them you see how Van der Heyden took pleasure in depicting details and texture.

The drawings are just another exponent of high art.’

Whatever your opinion, the exhibition gives a pretty complete picture of Van der Heyden as painter, businessman and inventor. In the latter department the only thing that’s missing is his improved street lighting. To make up for that, two of his lamps can be seen on the outer wall of museum Willet-Holthuysen on Herengracht.

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Amsterdam Weekly unknown and previously unpublished photos were discovered in her archive. This exhibition presents a selection of these photos, underscoring her reputation as one of the greatest photographers in the Netherlands. Joods Historisch Museum (Daily 11.00-17.00), until 20 May Rembrandt in Berlin Excerpts from the worldrenowned collection of Rembrandt drawings from Berlin’s Kupferstichkabinett. Rembrandthuis (Daily 10.00-17.00), until 27 May

29 March-4 April 2007 tion that documents the movement. Other participating artists include Steven Brown (Tuxedomoon), Ana Santos, Bruno Varela and many more. iLLUSEUM (Sat, Sun 15.00-21.00, Wed from 19.00), until 14 April Histories/(Hi)stories… Photographs by Gérard Mermoz, in which the French artist explores the mechanisms of human conflicts by staging impossible scenarios. To do this, he uses objects and figurines from cultures around the world, of varying ages and matter. Gallery Vassie (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 14 April

Lucebert. Drawings Gouaches, drawings in Indian ink and works on paper in mixed media, dating from 1948 to 1993. There’s also an accompanying publication with text (in Dutch and English) by the Dutch author Cyrille Offermans. CoBrA Museum (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), until 3 June

Jan van Nuenen: Optimizer/Evolizer A solo exhibition featuring seven video animations by the new media artist, including the premiere of digital animation Evolizer. W139 (Mon-Sun 11.00-19.00), until 15 April

Galleries

De Nieuwe Oogst Still life paintings for every desire.

De Kunstfabriek (Tues-Fri 12.00-18.00, Sat, Sun 12.0017.00), until 15 April

Coming Up Going Down Turning Around A space transformation featuring installations, paintings and murals from three artists: Diane Moolhuysen, Erwin van der Werve and Guido Nieuwendijk. Chiellerie (Wed-Sun 14.00-18.00), closing Thursday Laser 3.14: Today I Hired a Detective To Track Me Down The first-ever solo exhibition focused on guerilla poet Laser 3.14. WM Gallery (Thur-Sat 14.00-18.00), closing Saturday The High Mind of Lowbrow Pop surrealist Ray Caesar’s ‘Science Fiction Meets Victorian’ is accompanied here by works from other big names of the Lowbrow movement. KochxBos Gallery (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), closing Sunday Istanbul Images Four photo reports highlighting elements of contemporary Turkey. Contributors include: Dandyland, Streetlab, European Children’s Eyes and Leaps of Faith. Pakhuis de Zwijger (Mon-Sat), closing Tuesday The Stability of Truth Artworks with a disposition to ‘straightforwardness’, defiantly telling the truth from the artist’s perspective. SMART Project Space (TuesSat 12.00-17.00), until 5 April Classics Updated A collection set in the window displays of the former ABN AMRO building, restored as a public art space. Opening this project is painter Rae Witvoet’s series of 24 individual works, each referencing works by master painters. Rembrandtplein (Daily), until 6 April Sven Kroner: Witterung Contemporary paintings of natural landscapes balanced between the realms of the figurative and abstract. In the ‘Playstation’ gallery, there’s also an installation by Ryan Parteka. Galerie Fons Welters (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 7 April Joris Geurts New paintings by the Amsterdammer.

Slewe Gallery (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 7 April Carrie Yamaoka: Nocturnal March New paintings, along with a book presentation. Torch Gallery (ThurSat 14.00-18.00), until 7 April Marijn Akkermans: Let’s Wonder Over Yonder Works on paper, attempting to capture the ambiguities between dreams and nightmares, heroes and criminals, and games and drama. Galerie Gabriel Rolt (Wed-Sat 12.00-18.00), until 7 April Patrizia Casamirra: Women in Wartime Taken in Guatemala, Palestine, Rwanda and Bosnia, these photos comprise a series of stories of women who suffered in war and who are today active in human rights promoters. Melkweg Galerie (Wed-Sun 13.00-20.00), until 8 April André Vannoord: Zelfportret met Windmolen Photography by the actor and top model. Lloyd Hotel (Daily 08.00-01.00), until 11 April Gianni Caravaggio Installations by the Italian artist.

Galerie Paul Andriesse (Tues-Fri 11.00-18.00, Sat 14.00-18.00), until 14 April Morag Keil: Re Source This New acrylic paintings from the very young British artist. Grimm Fine Art (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 14 April Dorothée Meyer: Yokus Mahalleler A new solo exhibition from German photographer Meyer, who captures Istanbul’s suburbs and city streets. A challenge to viewership, her photos range from large diptych works featuring sweeping, high-angle views of building blocks, to small images displaying details of street furniture. Motive Gallery (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 14 April Insitute of Nocturnal Light: Visual Resistenz From May through November 2006, Oaxaca, Mexico, was the theatre of a social uprising. Captured on film in a collection of videos is the everyday life of people during the organised resistance. Curated by multidisciplinary artist Gabriela León, this exhibition also features photos, sculptures and a sound installa-

Bloeddorst Bloodthirsty comic art expo, a tie-in with a book of the same name. Galerie Lambiek (Mon-Fri 11.00-18.00, Sat 11.00-17.00, Sun 13.00-17.00), until 16 April Boghe Works by the artist who helped paint the MTV Europe Pimp My Ride garage. Wolf & Pack (Sun, Mon 13.00-19.00, Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat 12.00-19.00, Thur 12.00-21.00), until 20 April Blackmail The artists of Red Stamp Gallery present a series of photographs, collages and 3-D objects, all erotically charged and with a focus on fetishism and the female body. With works by Christian Zanotto, Simone Lucietti, Ketra, Damian Boyall and Sonia Arata. Red Stamp Art Gallery (Tue-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 21 April Jens Wolf New paintings from the German artist, whose latest series features experiments with concentric circles. Aschenbach & Hofland Galleries (Wed-Sat 12.00-17.00), until 21 April Sipke Huismans New works. AdK Actuele Kunst (WedSat 12.30-17.30), until 21 April Marc Ruygrok, Rob Regeer Sculptures and drawings

by Ruygrok and mixed artworks by Regeer. METIS_NL (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 21 April Tim Ayres Ayres’ exhibition On the status of the glass of water at its halfway mark features large-scale paintings that mix bold colours with text and design. Vous Etes Ici (Wed-Sat 12.00-18.00), until 21 April Mens-Wereld / Ode-Angst: Passage 2 An artistic quest for meaning and coherence among nature, society and culture. Arti et Amicitiae (Tues-Sun 13.0018.00), until 22 April SeaSideLight Artworks by Mathilde Cuijpers and Eric de Nie, inspired by the glorious light and atmosphere of the seaside. Arti et Amicitiae (Tues-Sun 13.0018.00), until 22 April Sirens Exhibition tracing the development of the siren from an instrument initially created for sound analysis into the role of auditory alert we’re more familiar with.

Alongside a historical account, the exhibition looks at artistic appropriation of the machine, with participating artists presenting their own interpretation of sirens.

66 East (Fri-Sun 14.00-18.00), until 22 April Marketa Jirouskova Photography from her recent trip to the Ross Sea region of Antarctica on an ice breaker.

IISG (Mon-Fri 09.00-17.45), until 27 April Anouk Kruithof, Aram Tanis Two solo exhibitions: Kruithof presents a study of the psychological and sociological aspects of angst, while Tanis provides images from Japan. Amsterdams Centrum voor Fotografie (Thur-Sat 13.00-17.00), until 28 April Group Exhibition Marc Bijl, Lucy Wood, Katrina Daschner and others. Upstream Gallery (Wed-Sat 12.00-18.00), until 28 April ArtOlive Offline #2 Diverse works from three young artists: Erica Scheper, Marin de Jong and Douwe Dijkstra. ArtOlive (Mon-Fri 11.00-17.00, Sun 12.00-17.00), until 29 April Van Huis Uit... The results of a research project by the Meertens Instituut about immigrant families and interiors of their homes. Imagine IC (Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat 11.00-17.00, Thur 11.00-21.00), until 30 April The New Black and White Four photographers with a refreshing take on traditional black-and-white techniques. Hup Gallery (Tues-Fri 12.00-17.00), until 1 May W139/Basement The temporary W139 space in the Post CS building is being let to artists and galleries at affordable rates for a one-month period; at the end of each month, the exhibits will be auctioned. See article on p. 4. W139/Basement, until 24 June Het Licht van Tunesië Multimedia installation by Maarten Rens and Anita Mizrahi. De Levante (WedSun 13.00-17.30), until 22 July

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007

Art/Music/Film: Impakt Exhibitions, video, film and media art screenings. See Short List. Various locations in Utrecht, various times and prices until Sunday 1 April

Friday 30 March

Impakt, see Thursday

EVENTS Thursday 29 March Classical: Masterclass on Iberian Organ Music Students explore the intricacies of the genre. Plenty of seating available. Oude Kerk, 10.00-1.00, 16.00-19.00, free

ADDRESSES 11 Oosterdokskade 3-5, 625 5999 66 East Sumatrastraat 66, 06 4475 4773 AdK Actuele Kunst Prinsengracht 534, 320 9242 Amsterdams Centrum voor Fotografie Bethaniënstraat 9, 622 4899 Amsterdams Historisch Museum Kalverstraat 92, 523 1822 Arc Reguliersdwarsstraat 44, 689 7070 ARCAM Prins Hendrikkade 600, 620 4878 Arti et Amicitiae Rokin 112, 624 5134 ArtOlive Polonceaukade 17, 675 8504 Aschenbach & Hofland Galleries Bilderdijkstraat 165C, 412 1772 De Balie Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 10, 553 5151 Bimhuis Piet Heinkade 3, 788 2150 Bitterzoet Spuistraat 2, 521 3001 Blijburg Bert Haanstrakade 2004, 416 0330 Boekhandel van Rossum Beethovenstraat 32, 4707077 Bourbon Street Leidsekruisstraat 6-8, 623 3440 De Brakke Grond Nes 45, 626 6866 Café Pakhuis Wilhelmina Veemkade 576, 419 3368 Café Sappho Vijzelstraat 103, 423 1509 Chiellerie Raamgracht 58, 320 9448 Club 8 Admiraal de Ruyterweg 56B, 685 1703 Club Magazijn Warmoesstraat 170 Club Meander Voetboogstraat 3, 625 8430 CoBrA Museum Sandbergplein 1-3, Amstelveen, 547 5050 Compagnietheater Kloveniersburgwal 50, 520 5320 Concertgebouw Concertgebouwplein 2-6, 671 8345 Consortium Veemkade 570, 06 2611 8950 DanceStreet 1e Rozendwarsstraat 10, 489 7676 De Engel van Amsterdam Zeedijk 21, 427 6381 De Looier Looiersgracht 40, 638 1412 De Trut Bilderdijkstraat 165 Dubbelbee Galerie Gerard Doustraat 142-144, 623 2884 English Reformed Church Begijnhof 48, 624 9665 Flex Bar Pazzanistraat 1, 486 2123 Foam Keizersgracht 609, 551 6546 Frascati Nes 63, 626 6866 Galerie Fons Welters Bloemstraat 140, 423 3046 Galerie Gabriel Rolt Elandsgracht 34, 785 5146

Reading: Bart Plantenga Yodel expert Plantenga reads from his new book Yodel in Hi Fi about the black truck driver and yodeler Mike Johnson. The evening is accompanied by many recorded samples and images. De Player, Rotterdam 20.00, free Week van de Populaire Cultuur INFOWARROOM presents another stylistic montage of TV clips with live speakers Leon Verdonschot and Jaap Kooijman and funky music from Grand Wazoo. In Dutch and English. See www.debalie.nl. De Balie, 20.30-02.00, free Literature: Het niet bestaande boek Discussion of a paradox found in books where the writer claims to have no part in the creation of the work, but instead invents a fictitious author who tells the story à la Cervantes’ Don Quixote. In Dutch. Perdu, 20.30-02.00, €6 + membership Event: Gorky Park Clubbing madness with carnival excitement, offering pony rides, ice cream and Ferris

Galerie Lambiek Kerkstraat 132, 626 7543 Galerie Paul Andriesse Withoedenveem 8, 623 6237 Galerie Rob Koudijs Elandsgracht 12, 331 8796 Gallery Vassie 1e Tuindwarsstraat 16, 489 4042 Grasland Helmbrekersteeg, Haarlem, 023 5510067 Grimm Fine Art Hazenstraat 24, 422 7227 De Hallen Grote Markt 16, Haarlem, 023 511 5775 Heineken Music Hall ArenA Boulevard 590, 0900 300 1250 Hermitage Amsterdam Nieuwe Herengracht 14, 530 8751 Hortus Botanicus Plantage Middenlaan 2A, 625 9021 Hotel Arena ’s-Gravesandestraat 51, 850 2400 Hotel de Goudfazant Aambeeldstraat 10-H Hup Gallery Tesselschadestraat 15, 515 8589 IISG Cruquiusweg 31, 668 5866 iLLUSEUM Witte de Withstraat 120, 770 5581 Imagine IC Bijlmerplein 1006-1008, 489 4866 Joods Historisch Museum Jonas Daniel Meijerplein 2-4, 531 0310 KHL Koffiehuis Oostelijke Handelskade 44, 779 1575 De Kleine Komedie Amstel 56-58, 624 0534 KochxBos Gallery 1e Anjeliersdwarsstraat 3-5, 681 4567 De Kunstfabriek Polonceaukade 20 (Westergasfabriekterrein), 488 9430 Lellebel Utrechtsestraat 4, 427 5139 De Levante Hobbemastraat 28, 671 5485 Lexion Avenue Overtoom 65, Westzaan, 0900-BelLexion Lloyd Hotel Oostelijke Handelskade 34, 419 1840 Maloe Melo Lijnbaansgracht 163, 420 4592 Melkweg Cinema Lijnbaansgracht 234A, 624 1777 Melkweg Galerie Marnixstraat 409, 531 8181 METIS_NL Lijnbaansgracht 316, 638 9863 Montevideo/Time Based Arts Keizersgracht 264, 623 7101 Motive Gallery Elandsgracht 10, 330 3668 Het Muziektheater Amstel 3, 625 5455 Nieuwe Kerk entrance on the Dam, 638 6909 OCCII Amstelveenseweg 134, 671 7778 Odeon Singel 460, 624 9711 OT301 Overtoom 301, 779 4913 Oude Kerk Oudekerksplein 23, 625 8284 P60 Stadsplein 100A, Amstelveen, 023 345 3445 Pacific Parc Polonceaukade 23, 488 7778 Pakhuis de Zwijger Piet Heinkade 179-181, 788 4444 Paleis van Weemoed Oudezijds Voorburgwal 15, 625

Wheels, along with a rotation of DJs spinning various styles. Flex Bar, 23.00-05.00, €8

Saturday 31 March Tour: Open Wallen Dag Second annual open day in the famous Red Light District. And for the ladies: newly unveiled male prostitutes will be on hand for, uh, explanations. See Short List. Various locations in the Red Light District, 12.00-18.00, free Walk: Religion in Amsterdam A new monthly programme that features a guided tour of the Amsterdams Historisch Museum and a city tour aimed at unlocking secrets of the metropolis. Today’s walk focuses on religion. Reservations necessary: 06 1825 7014. In English. Amsterdams Historisch Museum, 12.30, €15

19 admission to museum Event: Chad Gadja Aimed at children around age six, this Passover eve meal is filled with stories and songs, including ‘Chad Gadja’, which has been sung around the world every Passover for 500 years. Limited seating.

Reserve: 531 0374. Joods Historisch Museum, 14.30, free Art: The Go-Between Art exhibitions throughout De Bijlmer. See Short List. Various locations, free. Until Sunday 22 April

Tuesday 3 April Literature: Daniel Mason The young author reads from his latest work, Een ver land. In Dutch. Boekhandel van Rossum, 20.00, free

Lecture: Bremmer en Van Gogh Hildelies Balk, author of De Kunstpaus: H.P. Bremmer 1871-1956, talks about his role in shaping the image of Van Gogh, whom he considered the greatest artist of all time. In Dutch. Van Gogh Museum, 14.00, free with

Reading: Willem de Ridder The cinema turns off their projectors and lets your imagination run wild through the master storytelling of De Ridder. Tonight he shares stories from 1001 Nights and other ancient tales. Melkweg Cinema, 20.00, €6 Lecture: Marlies Rohmer Reknowned architect Rohmer discusses the link between social responsibility and architectural design. De Brakke Grond, 20.15, €10

6964 Panama Oostelijke Handelskade 4, 311 8680 Paradiso Weteringschans 6-8, 626 4521 Pathé De Munt Vijzelstraat 15, 0900 1458 Patronaat Zijlsingel 2, Haarlem, 023 517 5858 Perdu Kloveniersburgwal 86, 627 6295 Persmuseum Zeeburgerkade 10, 692 8810 De Player Tolhuislaan 107, Rotterdam, 06 4185678430 PRIK Spuistraat 109, 06 4544 2321 Queen's Head Zeedijk 20, 420 2475 Red Stamp Art Gallery Rusland 22, 420 8684 Rembrandthuis Jodenbreestraat 4, 520 0400 Rijksmuseum Jan Luykenstraat 1, 674 7000 Rouge Amstel 60, 420 9881 Rozentheater Rozengracht 117, 620 7953 Same Place Nassaukade 120, 475 1981 Slewe Gallery Kerkstraat 105A, 625 7214 SMART Project Space Arie Biemondstraat 107-113, 427 5953

Soho Reguliersdwarsstraat 36, 422 9936 Stadsschouwburg Leidseplein 26, 624 2311 Stadsschouwburg Amstelveen Stadsplein 100, Amstelveen, 020 547 5175 Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam Rozenstraat 59, 422 0471 Stedelijk Museum CS Oosterdokskade 5, 573 2911 Studio 80 Rembrandtplein 70, 521 8333 Sugar Factory Lijnbaansgracht 238, 627 0008 Supperclub Jonge Roelensteeg 15, 344 6400 Theater Bellevue Leidsekade 90, 530 5301 Tivoli De Helling Helling 7, Utrecht, 030 231 1491 Torch Gallery Lauriergracht 94, 626 0284 Tropenmuseum Linnaeusstraat 2, 568 8200 Tropentheater, Grote Zaal Linnaeusstraat 2, 568 8500 Under the Grand Chapiteau Next to ArenA, 621 1288 Upstream Gallery Kromme Waal 11, 428 4284 Van Gogh Museum Paulus Potterstraat 7, 570 5200 Verzetsmuseum Plantage Kerklaan 61, 620 2535

Sunday 1 April

Amsterdam Weekly

20

Dinner ordinaire Wereld Keuken Express Amazonenstraat 69, 618 5639 Open Daily 15.00-23.00 Cash On the day we officially declared spring, your Glutton decided to celebrate the happy event by going out to supper. However, the weather was awful, with lashing rain, some sleet and a cold wind that made him cringe at the prospect of being outdoors.

My Mother Hubbard was barren; the empty fridge gaped stupidly like a punch-drunk prizefighter. The mere idea of a friendly neighbour turning up with a pot of steaming stew was as ridiculous as winning the lottery three times in a row. So desperate times create desperate solutions. Phone out: let some other poor schmuck brave the elements to bring in the goodies. Bring on the motorised calorie cavalry!

Do you, gentle reader, have a ‘no junk mail’ sticker on your letter box? I don’t, and it’s a magnet for unwanted missives, mostly pizza adverts, with some Japanese, Indian and Chinese chucked in for good measure. Some of them are pretty good. Some are unspeakably bad. I have a plastic bag of menus; it’s quite heavy and rather full, so deciding which to pluck is difficult. One method is to close my eyes, stick in my hand and pull the first one my fingers should graze. Another is to pour them on the floor and pass my trembling hand over, to pick up vibrations.

Using the divining method, my mitts fell upon the Wereld Keuken Express menu. Nice

THE UNDERCOVER GLUTTON While it was hot, it lacked the layers of flavour that cinnamon, ginger or nutmeg provide. It lacked... love. This was impersonal cooking, mass catering. concept: a glossy brochure offering imaginative dishes from European, Asian and Middle Eastern countries—something to suit every palate; everything delivered within 45 minutes from ordering.

I scanned through tapas, soups, cold and hot starters. Meal-sized salads, pasta, grills and oven dishes. The lettering began to blur, so I finally plumped for pumpkin soup with walnuts and

29 March-4 April 2007

chives (€3.50), a main of spare-ribs, with baked potato, corn on the cob and salad with garlic sauce (€11). Ordering from a takeaway menu this broad is like Russian roulette: spin the chamber, point the barrel to your head, and squeeze. Maybe you’ll survive.

The TV’s cooking programmes kept my appetite bubbling while I waited for the doorbell to ring. After the delivery guy beat a hasty retreat, I re-entered my lair to begin the feast.

Good thermo packing: very professionally done.

But when I opened it... sigh. My pumpkin soup wasn’t as special as I had hoped it would be. It was salty, with a few stingy fragments of nut, which had to be dredged up from the bottom with the pumpkin chunks. The chives were three minute green dots of dried herb. And while it was hot, it lacked the layers of flavour that cinnamon, ginger or nutmeg provide. It lacked... love. This was impersonal cooking, mass catering.

My ribs were soft, and fell off the bone: they had been boiled or pressure-cooked to ensure that. The glaze coating the meat was a thyme-flavoured gravy. Not too bad, but not what I had expected, either. I wanted grilled and glazed sticky ribs. The accompanying potatoes were oven-baked hash-brown type cubes with paprika sprinkled over them. My corn cob wasn’t badly boiled and the salad was fresh, a miniature Greek one with some rocket and olives to pep it up.

Quantity-wise, it was quite enough to fill my gluttonous desires, but I was left feeling I had ordered the wrong items on the menu.

Would I order from them again to see how they handled the other stuff? Nah, don’t think so.

For me, they are one-shot wonders. Perhaps later down the timeline I might try again, but for now... that’ll teach me not to stock up on food.

29 March-4 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

Ghost Rider

FILM Edited by Julie Phillips.This week’s films reviewed

by Fred Camper (FC),Shyama Daryanani (SD), Angela Dress,André Dryansky,Laura Groeneveld (LG),Luuk van Huët (LvH),JR Jones (JJ),Dave Kehr (DK),Marie-Claire Melzer (MM),Vincent Moritz (VM),Mike Peek (MP),Jonathan Rosenbaum (JR),Martin Rubin (MR),Marinus de Ruiter (MdR),Bregtje Schudel (BS) and Albert Williams (AW).All films are screened in English with Dutch subtitles unless otherwise noted. Amsterdam Weekly recommends.

New this week Anche libero va bene Italian family drama from Kim Rossi Stuart, told from the point of view of an 11-yearold boy whose mother disappears for weeks at a time, and whose father (played by the director) struggles to hold the family together. The Movies, Rialto Curse of the Golden Flower After wowing the international community of chop-socky lovers with Hero and House of Flying Daggers, Yimou Zhang is poised to bedazzle once again with Curse of the Golden Flower.

Aficionados of the work of gaijin like Segal or Van Damme will scratch their noggins, but the true connoisseur will appreciate the lavish lushness of the

21

Anche libero va bene

production design, the Machiavellian scheming within the decadent Imperial Court and the expertly choreographed fights, which are mesmerising to behold.

Tricked out with the richest colours, most opulent costume design and most Shakespearean plot of the year, the decline of an empire never looked better. In Mandarin with Dutch subtitles. (LvH) 114 min. Kriterion, Pathé ArenA, Pathé Tuschinski Ghost Rider Maybe it was too much to expect any depth in a film basically revolving around a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle, but director Mark Steven Johnson works his Daredevil mojo once again to royally screw up. Nicolas Cage plays Johnny Blaze as a zany redneck, Eva Mendes seems cast solely as cleavage, and the bad guys look like moping Goth kids who got rejected from The OC. The only inspired moment in the film is when Sam Elliott reveals himself to be the original cowboy Ghost Rider, but that doesn’t justify the fecklessness of this utter drabfest. (LvH) 114 min.

Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt The Monastery: Mr Vig & the Nun The synopsis reads like a fairy tale: an eccentric old man, living alone in a castle somewhere in Denmark, has dreamt for years of starting his own monastery. Finally, the Russian Orthodox Church agrees to send down some nuns.

Amongst them is the remarkable Ambvrosija, who turns out to be just as stubborn as Mr Vig. After years of neglect the castle is nearly a ruin, but Mr Vig and Ambvrosija work hard to repair the building and make their dream come true. The process is filmed in beautiful, smoky images, yet Pernille Rose Grønkjaer’s documentary doesn’t tell much about the promised ‘special relationship’ between Mr Vig and the nun, which should be the most interesting part. Maybe the

camera wasn’t looking, or maybe it just wasn’t there.

In Danish with Dutch subtitles. (MM) 85 min. De Uitkijk Salvador German-Spanish actor Daniel Brühl (Good Bye Lenin!) takes on his first Spanish-language role as Salvador Puig Antich, an appealing young Catalan anarchist who robbed banks to fund leftist movements. In 1974, the Franco regime, anxious to set an example after an ETA bombing, demanded his execution. The film is more personal than political; director Manuel Huerga leaves his viewers room to draw their own conclusions. In Spanish with Dutch subtitles. 134 min. Cinecenter Shut Up and Sing American country-music darlings the Dixie Chicks criticised the president; film-maker Barbara Kopple records the fallout. See review on p.

23. The Movies

Still playing 12:08 East of Bucharest ‘Was there or wasn’t there?’ is the central question—and the original title— of this feature film debut by director Corneliu Porumboiu. Sixteen years after Romania was freed from communist rule, a pompous small-time television host decides it’s time for a televised discussion on the revolution. The only two guests he can find are an alcoholic history teacher and an old man, both of whom claim to have been protesting on the streets before dictator Ceausescu fled, thus making the event an uprising. Insightful and funny, with spot-on performances, the film tells us more about current Romania than its light tone might suggest. In Romanian with Dutch subtitles. (BS) 89 min. Filmmuseum

Five-Word Movie Review

TALK SHOW ABOUT A REVOLUTION 12:08 East of Bucharest Filmmuseum

300 Whatever the fanboys expected from Zack Snyder’s adaptation of Frank Miller’s graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae, it surely wasn’t Leni Riefenstahl-style war porn. The already risible contents of the book are magnified tenfold in the film, so that the Persians are portrayed as deformed, bisexual fundamentalists, while the band of 300 Spartans are engorged, gleaming warriors for the Greek way of life. Spotting your favourite political agenda isn’t too hard, but ultimately imbues too much importance into a flick which has a character proclaim that ‘freedom isn’t free’, while we all know from Team America: World Police that freedom costs $1.05.

(LvH) 117 min. Pathé De Munt

Bamako In a courtyard in a slum in Bamako, the

capital of Mali, the World Bank and IMF are subjected to a mock trial, accused of creating poverty in Africa.

Meanwhile, Melé, a bar singer, and her husband Chaka break up; another couple get married; the residents

Special screenings 8 Femmes A factory owner is found dead, and

the finger of guilt passes from one occupant of his glamorous home to another: his coolly fashionable wife (Catherine Deneuve), his willful daughters (Virginie Ledoyen and Ludivine Sagnier), his morally loose sister (Fanny Ardant), his miserly mother-inlaw (Danielle Darrieux), his neurotic sister-in-law (Isabelle Huppert) and the home’s two domestics (Firmine Richard and Emmanuelle Béart). The French screen royalty assembled by François Ozon and the film’s sheer exuberance in its own artifice make this a delight from beginning to end. In French with Dutch subtitles. (JJ) 113 min. Filmmuseum Bestemming Oerol In 2006, documentarist Willem Wits followed two theatre directors and a photographer as they prepared for Terschelling’s annual performance festival. They arrive on the island full of excitement, but will their hopes survive? 54 min. De Balie A Bittersweet Life The theme for the coming month at the Roode Bioscoop is ‘The Lone Hero’. The series starts with Ji-woon Kim’s 2005 gangland revenge tragedy. In Korean/Russian with English subtitles.

120 min. De Roode Bioscoop Buffalo ’66 A rather bewildering first feature (1998)

by Vincent Gallo, the enterprising actor who appeared earlier in Arizona Dream, The Funeral, The House of the Spirits and three Claire Denis features. Gallo plays a petulant loser emerging from five years in prison for betting money he didn’t have on the Super Bowl, but the whole time he’s been telling his parents in Buffalo (Anjelica Huston and Ben Gazzara) that he’s happily married and holds down a government job in Washington. He picks a random young woman (Christina Ricci) to impersonate his wife, kidnaps her and proceeds to browbeat everyone in sight while mysteriously winning not only the full cooperation of his captive, but her unbounded trust and affection. (JR) 110 min.

De Nieuwe Anita

Citizen Kane What can you say about the movie that taught you what movies were? Kane (1941) is

still the best place to start thinking about Orson Welles, or about movies in general. Showing with films from the Visual Resistance compilation by Oaxacan artist Gabriela Leon. (DK) 119 min. iLLUSEUM Coup de foudre AKA Entre Nous (1983). Two women, a Jewish refugee (Isabelle Huppert) and a budding artist (Miou-Miou), meet in the aftermath of World War II and form a deep bond that excludes their husbands and children. The third film of French director Diane Kurys is told with assurance, precision and balance; rather than adopt a moralising perspective on the action, Kurys presents it as cleanly and elegantly as possible, achieving an effective ambiguity. In French with English subtitles. (DK) 110 min. Filmmuseum Dakota This 1974 film in which Kees Brusse transports a secret cargo from Curaçao to the Netherlands—in the most famous flying scene in Dutch film history— was to be director Wim Verstappen’s most ambitious project ever. The film was plagued by production problems, however: halfway through filming, costar Monique van de Ven and cameraman Jan de Bont left the set and the script had to be rewritten. In Dutch/Papiamento.100 min. Rialto Dark Side of the Moon William Karel’s 2002 documentary ‘proves’ that Hollywood director Stanley Kubrick conspired with NASA to fake the 1969 moon landing. Karel deftly manipulates news footage in a film about the deceptive power of images. In English.

52 min. De Balie

Love and Death on Long Island A reclusive novelist and widower living in London (John Hurt) stumbles accidentally into a screening of Hotpants College II and becomes obsessively enamored of one of its young American stars (Jason Priestley). He then travels to Long Island in hopes of meeting him in the flesh. This 1997 reimagining of Death in Venice is as beautifully acted as it is sweetly hilarious. (JR) 93 min. Pathé De Munt

DOA, Bad Brains, Millions of Dead Cops and the ineffable Flipper), but the encyclopaedic treatment eventually bogs down in a dutiful survey of regional scenes. Still, fans will dig the abundant performance video and commentary from Henry Rollins and Ian MacKaye. Another State of Mind (1982, 78 min) is an American concert film featuring LA punk bands Social Distortion, Youth Brigade and Minor Threat. (JJ) OT301

New Year Baby Video documentary by Cambodian-American director Socheata Poeuv, in which she travels with her parents and her brother to her native country and tries to unravel her family’s history. Kriterion

Saint-Cyr In the late 17th century, Louis XIV’s wife (Isabelle Huppert) founds a school for the daughters of noble French families made destitute in the king’s wars. She offers the girls a liberal education, only to see them become magnets for the local nobles’ lust and take the idea of free thought a bit too seriously. A severe cleric intervenes, and books are burned—a history of ancient Rome is said to ‘distract from piety’. Patricia Mazuy’s 2000 costume drama is a bit stilted but provides insights into the conflicts of the period; Huppert’s inscrutable severity is effective. In French with Dutch subtitles.

(FC) 119 min. Filmmuseum

Old Joy Two old pals, hoping to renew their friendship as they approach middle age, drive into the Oregon wilderness in search of a mountain spring, but the natural purity they find there only accentuates the compromises of their everyday lives. This quiet road movie hinges on a few beautifully underplayed scenes between Daniel London and the singer Will Oldham, but director Kelly Reichardt enlarges their emotional context with long stretches of western scenery. As greenery gives way to industrial landscape and day fades into night, the two travellers’ exhausted relationship begins to mirror a nation’s spent ambition. (JJ) 76 min. Cavia

Exils Tony Gatlif won Best Director for this film at Cannes 2004. In French and Spanish with Dutch subtitles. 104 min. Rialto

La Pianiste If you like being shaken up, Michael Haneke’s 2001 feature, about a prim piano teacher (Isabelle Huppert) who lives with her mother and develops a sadomasochistic relationship with a young male pupil, is probably for you. Huppert gives her all, and you won’t be bored. Adapted from an Austrian novel by Nobel Prize winner Elfriede Jelinek. In French with Dutch subtitles. (JR) 130 min. Filmmuseum

Lost Highway This 1996 feature was Lynch’s most audacious break from conventional narrative since Eraserhead. The plot concerns a jazz musician (Bill Pullman) who inexplicably changes into a much younger garage mechanic (Balthazar Getty) after possibly killing his wife (Patricia Arquette). The wife seems to have been reincarnated as a gangster’s girlfriend, who pursues the mechanic. (JR) 134 min. Melkweg Cinema

Punk Rock Cinema:American Hardcore/Another State of Mind Unlike punk, ’80s hardcore never offered much in the way of fun, hope or idealism—just speed and naked aggression, which makes the documentary American Hardcore (2005, 100 min) a rather grim nostalgia trip. To their credit, director Paul Rachman and writer Steven Blush mostly bypass bands that transcended the genre commercially (X, Hüsker Dü) and stick with the true underground acts (Black Flag, Minor Threat, Circle Jerks,

Swing Tony Gatlif’s 2002 film takes place in France. A 10-year-old boy becomes fascinated with gypsy jazz, starts to learn guitar and strikes up a friendship with a gypsy child. In French with Dutch subtitles. 90 min. Rialto Van de andere kant This month, the non-Western gay movie series will show short films from South Korea, including the compilation film Camellia Project: Three Queer Stories at Bogil Island. In English/Hindi with English subtitles. Rialto Whisky ‘Say whiskey’, a photographer tells dour Jacobo and dowdy Marta as they pose for a lovers’ portrait in this deadpan comedy from Uruguay. They aren’t really in love: Jacobo, the Jewish owner of a sock factory, has enlisted Marta, his long-suffering floor manager, to pose as his wife so he can one-up his visiting brother. The witty title aside, this is a dull exercise in stingy-Jew humour and post-Jarmusch nonreaction, like a hangover without the drunk. Juan Pablo Rebella and Pablo Stoll directed.

(JJ) 95 min. KIT Tropentheater, Kleine Zaal

22 of the courtyard work and play alongside the abstract discussion of Africa’s economic malaise. Intriguing in both content and structure, the film was directed by Abderrahmane Sissako. In French/Bambara with Dutch subtitles. 115 min. Rialto Dealing and Wheeling in Small Arms In Europe pistols are used primarily for sport, but in developing countries they function as real arms in numerous civil wars. Rich businessmen sell these weapons to local dealers, thereby helping to sustain the riots. Through the eyes of a weapons expert trying to identify the type of gun that killed Theo van Gogh, director Sander Francken gives a fair overview of the international ‘trade’ in small arms.

But unlike, for example, Darwin’s Nightmare (about the disturbance of the ecological balance in Africa’s Lake Victoria through European intervention), the film approaches its conflict from a Western perspective and fails to show the consequences for the developing countries at any serious length. Dealing and Wheeling is an interesting survey but lacks emotional depth. In Dutch.

(MP) 90 min. OT301 Death of a President A pseudo-documentary, by British director Gabriel Range, about the assassination

Amsterdam Weekly of George ‘Dubya’ Bush in October 2007. Predictably, the nearest Muslim is found, charged and convicted on flimsy forensic evidence which the CIA is ‘encouraged’ to provide. Add a dose of religious self-righteousness and the toe-curling hokiness deployed by Bush in his public appearances, and you are ready to cheer when the fatal shots are finally fired. The film is sharply edited, and the combination of authentic footage and CGI tricks can be uncannily convincing. It captures the anger of American anti-war protest, but the predictability of the plot lends a going-through-the motions element to the proceedings. Made for television, it doesn’t transfer well to the big screen. (Angela Dress) 93 min. Kriterion Dennis P Like Frank Lammers before him, Edo Brunner seemed destined to act only in bit parts. But in Dennis P, inspired by the true story of a Dutch man who in 2001 walked out the door with a microwave oven filled with his company’s diamonds, Brunner gets his first shot at a leading role. He proves extremely likeable as the jovial clerk who makes a heist of a lifetime and falls in love with an alluringly naive nightclub dancer—though you would wish his character a

less conventional outcome. Director Pieter Kuijpers (Van God los) shows us that chubby guys can indeed play engaging leading roles, but will never be romantic material. In Dutch. (BS) 90 min. Pathé De Munt Flandres Shy Démester lives a dull life on a farm, until he and a few of his friends are called up to serve in a (nameless) war. They commit and undergo unspeakable crimes, leading to subtle but profound changes in theprotagonist's personality. French director Bruno Dumont's films are hit or miss. His last, Twentynine Palms, was a definite miss, but Flandres wich won the Jury Prize at Cannes, is a hit; its slow pacing and strong visuals allow us a glimpse inside a silent man's head. In French with Dutch subtitles.

(MP) 91 mins. Rialto Freedom Writers Idealistic teacher Erin Gruwell has found a highly unconventional way to connect with her unruly students: actually listening to them. After she hears of their rough lives, she grabs their attention by teaching them about the Holocaust. (One of her texts is The Diary of Anne Frank, which leads to questions such as: ‘Will Anne and Peter get together?’ and ‘When will Anne smoke Hitler?’) The story has its fair

29 March-4 April 2007 share of sentimentality and may be too educational to connect with the target group, but the film redeems itself with sincerity and strong acting, especially from two-time Academy Award winner Hilary Swank and the young actors playing her students. (BS) 123 min.

Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt

The Good Shepherd Director Robert De Niro deglamorises the profession of espionage in The Good Shepherd, viewing the CIA through the personal life of a fictional co-founder, Edward Wilson (Matt Damon).

Almost by accident, Wilson becomes a key Agency figure, but his professional success is paralleled by his perfectly executed personal lapse into isolation and paranoia. People expecting an in-depth exploration of the CIA will be disappointed: The Good Shepherd is less a history lesson than a film about the influence of fate and coincidence on the course of each human life. (MP) 167 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé Tuschinski Hukkle In György Pálfi’s oddball first feature (2002), a symphony of rural sights and sounds—including the hukkle, or hiccup, of the title—provides the oblique framework for the investigation of a series of mysterious deaths in a sleepy Hungarian village. While the enigmatic narrative hints at retribution for sins committed against nature and womankind, Palfi’s unfettered, omniscient camera slices across walls, soars upward for bird’s-eye views and dives underground. Told almost entirely without words, Hukkle succeeds as a bravura technical exercise with some truly amazing images. (MR) 75 min. Kriterion

Jimmy Rosenberg—de vader, de zoon & het tal-

ent Who knew that down a flat country road, in a group of Sinti caravans in a dead-end corner of a nondescript Brabant town, lives one of the Netherlands’ greatest musicians? At nine, Jimmy Rosenberg was hailed as the new Django Reinhardt. At 15, he signed a million-dollar contract with Sony. Then when he was 18, his father was sent to prison for murder and Rosenberg fell into a well of despair, heroin and mental instability. This documentary by Jeroen Berkvens is a voyage of musical discovery and a tense father and son story, told with tenderness, insight and elegance.

In Dutch. (André Dryansky) 77 min. Rialto Kicks Albert ter Heerdt’s newest film is made up of various interlocking stories set against the backdrop of contemporary middle-class Amsterdam. It all revolves around the shooting of a young Moroccan rap artist called Redouan; in the middle of the emotional turmoil is Redouan’s brother Said (Mimoun Oaïssa), a professional kickboxer with a Dutch girlfriend, who feels he must choose between the two worlds he lives in. The film’s structure is over-programmed and its characters fail to come alive. It’s at its best in its comic moments, but as a drama remains pretentious and even dishonest. In Dutch and Arabic with Dutch subtitles. (LG) 112 min. Pathé De Munt Das Leben der Anderen This Oscar-winner by Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck mostly deserves all the praise and admiration it has received. A study in the dehumanising effects of state surveillance, it focuses on two men living in East Germany in 1984: a playwright (Sebastian Koch) who attracts the interest of the state and a Stasi officer (Ulrich Mühe) whose loyalty to the socialist cause is starting to erode. Predictable and slightly distant, but also disturbing and effective. In German with Dutch subtitles. (LvH) 137 min. Cinecenter, Pathé De Munt, Pathé Tuschinski, Rialto Namaste, London He is a typical boy from a village in Punjab. She is a Londoner who rejects the Indian lifestyle. He fell in love with her at first sight. She has set her sights on marrying her English boyfriend. Arjun (Akshay Kumar) and Jasmeet (Katrina Kaif) meet during ‘Jazz’’s first trip to India. Her father (Rishi Kapoor) arranges their marriage against Jazz’s wishes. Back in London, Jazz rejects Arjun and accepts Charlie’s proposal. But Arjun won’t give up that easily. Go if you’re in the mood for yet another movie about Indian vs British lifestyles. In Hindi with Dutch subtitles. (SD) Pathé ArenA Night at the Museum Taken from a children’s book

by Croatian illustrator Milan Trenc, this fantasy isn’t exactly heavy, but its ideological implications are interesting nevertheless. A poorly educated, professionally challenged father (Ben Stiller) lands a job as a security guard at New York’s Museum of Natural History, where the historical mannequins come to life every night, most of them speaking perfect contemporary English and behaving like sitcom characters. They mostly fight among themselves until the guard brings all of global history into benign, all-American colonial harmony, even launching a romance between Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams) and the Native American guide Sacajawea (Mizuo Peck). Reasonably entertaining. (JR) 108 min. Pathé ArenA Notes on a Scandal A bitter old history teacher at a wild English high school (Judi Dench) befriends an attractive young colleague who’s just arrived (Cate Blanchett), only to discover she’s having sex with a 15year-old student. Adapted from a novel by Zoë Heller, this drama is both literate and urgently plotted, with a

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007

23 The chick politic.

The Dixie Chicks speak their minds, becoming pariahs and lefty darlings while still shifting plenty of C&W units.

ASHAMED TO COME FROM TEXAS FILM Shut Up and Sing Opens Thursday at The Movies

By Angela Dress

On a stage in London in 2003, on the eve of the US-led invasion of Iraq, Natalie Maines, lead singer of Texas country band the Dixie Chicks, infamously announced: ‘Just so you know, we are ashamed that the President of the US comes from our state.’ At the time of her remark, the Dixie Chicks were the

voice-over from Dench that cuts like broken glass. Her character is sly, controlling, desperately lonely and capable of anything, and when Blanchett’s secret gets out, a proper chamber drama explodes into something much more troubling. Richard Eyre (Iris) directed. (JJ) 91 min. Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé Tuschinski

Offside Director Jafar Panahi shows the plight of

six girls who want to attend a football match but are sidelined by Iranian law. Despite its heavy subject matter, the film remains light-hearted, deriving its delicate touch from the absurdity of the situation. At one point a girl isn’t even allowed to pee, because there’s only a men’s room. The film is daring and insightful, but Panahi’s rebelliousness comes at a price. His films thrive in Europe, but his first feature has yet to be released in Iran. In Farsi with Dutch subtitles. (BS) 93 min. The Movies

Offside

biggest-selling ‘girl group’ in history.

America’s darlings, they had just sung the national anthem at the Super Bowl. Documentary-makers Barbara Kopple and Cecilia Peck recorded the fallout, including a clear and specific death threat to Maines—so much for the Land of the Free—in a political concert film called Shut Up and Sing.

The voice-over-free film is a compilation of footage that swings back and forth between the personal and the professional. We witness discussions of record company Sony’s brand damage

a priest’s bloody quest through the sex film industry to avenge the death of his porn star sister and the abuse of her five-year-old daughter. Princess is relentless in its portrayal of porn as a life-ruining business, raising the issue whether its director, cartoonist Anders Morgenthaler, should have toned down his moral judgement. Highly recommended for those not allergic to controversy. In Danish with Dutch subtitles. (MdR) 90 min. The Movies

Ten Canoes This indigenous morality drama, set in

Australia in the year 1000, begins with a young man who has taken a fancy to his older brother’s wife. To teach the youngster not to break the sacred tribal laws, the brother tells an ancestral story that directly relates to the delicate issue at hand. The story takes place in a mythical past and deals with forbidden love, kidnapping, sorcery and revenge gone deadly wrong. Films about indigenous people tend to meet with a solemn approach. Director Rolf De Heer (born in Holland in 1951, raised in Australia) ventured far from this beaten path, mixing epic storytelling with cheeky humour in this mythic swamp comedy—a thoroughly entertaining film that will teach you how to live the proper way. In English/Ganalbingu with Dutch subtitles. (VM) 90 min. Rialto

Pretpark Nederland Director Michiel van Erp explores a weird phenomenon the Dutch call ‘leisure time’.

According to some, the Dutch are maniacally battling the boredom that lurks in every corner—whether it’s by attending a women’s magazine day out, shopping in giant mall Batavia Stad or watching the Gay Parade.

It’s refreshing to have a Dutchman self-reflect on habits without getting exploitative or malicious. The film is a bit overlong, yet it never gets boring. And apparently that’s what Dutch life is all about. In Dutch.

(BS) 90 min. Cinema Amstelveen

Transylvania Director Tony Gatlif likes to make gypsy road movies—his most famous one being Gadjo Dilo—and his latest film is no exception. This time we follow female protagonist Zingarina (Asia Argento) to the Romanian region of Transylvania to be reunited with her boyfriend. When he rejects her and their unborn baby, Zingarina is inconsolable. Yet love lurks in unlikely places. It’s uncommon for Gatlif to feature a female lead, yet actress Biro Ünel (the antihero of Gegen die Wand) steals every scene. What Transylvania lacks in narrative, it amply makes up for in vibrant music and raw emotion. In French/Romanian/English with Dutch subtitles. (BS) 103 min. Rialto

Princess Half Japanese-style animation and half live action, this Danish cult film tells the violent story of

The US vs John Lennon Another instalment in the singer’s deification, this one focusing on his career as

limitation placed against scenes of the three musicians with their husbands and children. There’s a clear intention to show the Chicks as regular women concerned with their families as well as their careers, with a little too much emphasis on the child-bearing aspect of their lives—do we really need to see banjo player Emily Robison’s ultrasound when she’s heavily pregnant with twins?

That aside, we are also privy to a number of revealing discussions the Chicks have with their manager concerning the personal and professional repercussions of Maines’ remark for the group as a whole.

Maines herself comes across as the most impassioned and, basically, the loudest of the three. Is she playing to the fly-on-the-wall camera? Well maybe, but she’s intelligent, articulate and genuinely funny—the kind of person you would love to go to the pub with (though maybe not if she’s wearing her stage clothes).

Moreover, her analysis is pragmatic and to the point. With the all-important US country radio stations refusing to play the

an activist. Lennon’s most politically potent anthems tend to be dreamily disengaged (‘Give Peace a Chance’, ‘Imagine’); when he threw himself into agitprop in the early ’70s the results were uniformly excruciating (‘War Is Over’, ‘Power to the People’, the Sometime in New York City LP). Writer-directors David Leaf and John Scheinfeld aren’t about to admit that, but they’ve assembled interesting news and performance footage to trace Lennon and Yoko Ono’s anti-war activism from their wacky bed-ins through their dalliance with Abbie Hoffman and Jerry Rubin and their persecution by FBI chief J Edgar Hoover.

Among the talking heads are Ono, Geraldo Rivera, Gore Vidal, George McGovern, Bobby Seale, Angela Davis and G Gordon Liddy. (JJ) 96 min. Cinema Amstelveen La Vie en rose Any director would have had a hard time adapting Edith Piaf’s eventful life—filled with neglect, disease and death—into a 140-minute movie, yet Olivier Dahan eschews any pretence of coherence. Seemingly at random, he jumps through time, barely differentiating between important and less relevant events. We get to see the winning match of Piaf’s lover, boxer Marcel Cerdan, but not her role in the French resistance. Both Piaf and Marion Cotillard (giving a remarkable, fragile performance as ‘The Little Sparrow’) deserve better.

In French with Dutch subtitles. (BS) Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé ArenA, Pathé Tuschinski

The Way I Spent the End of The World After years of change and culture shock, Romanian film-makers are finally starting to portray the chaos of the 1989 revolution. This utterly charming and well-acted family portrait by Catalin Mitulescu is set in the last year before Ceausescu’s fall, when fear and repression were still part of everyday life. Small dramas are paralleled with the historical changes taking place in the background: teenager Eva falls in love with Alex, son of a Communist Party member, much to the dismay of her dictator-hating grandfather and her devious little

Chicks’ music, their exposure is severely restricted, a source of concern for management number-crunchers. In Maines’ own words: ‘I don’t give a shit what Sony wants. I know what Sony wants: money.

We’re a cash cow for them.’ She refuses to go cap in hand to country radio when the controversy begins to die down, arguing: ‘Now that we’ve fucked ourselves we have an obligation to continue to fuck ourselves.’

Amusing too is Maines’ feud with Toby Keith, whose song ‘Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)’ includes the lines: ‘And you’ll be sorry that you messed with the US of A / ’Cause we’ll put a boot in your ass—it’s the American way.’ It’s what you expect from country music in the US, the voice of über-patriotic conservatives. Perhaps that’s why country music fans were so shocked by what Maines said: it came from within the ranks. As fiddle player Martie Maguire says in the film, the dissent came from the most unlikely voice.

Nonetheless, the Chicks’ next CD entered the country music charts at No. 1.

(There’s a great scene of them playing the demo to legendary producer Rick Rubin and his dog.) If anything, getting a boot in the ass from country radio actually liberated the group from both their own and the public’s preconceptions as to what kind of music the Chicks were about. Cut off from their old means of exposure, the Chicks were able to produce a crossover sound that opened up a whole new fan base.

Shut Up and Sing does prove the old adage that, death threats aside, there’s no such thing as bad publicity.

Yet the Chicks continue to be snubbed by their professional peers—guess that’s what you get for speaking your mind.

brother. In Romanian with Dutch subtitles. (MdR) 106 min. Filmmuseum WWW: What a Wonderful World Casablanca.

Kenza is a traffic policewoman who makes money on the side by lending her cell phone to neighbours and friends, including a prostitute called Souad. Kamel is a hitman who calls Souad after each assignment, but often gets Kenza on the phone and falls in love with her voice. Director Faouzi Bensaïdi (Mille mois) creates his own style while mixing film noir, animation, romantic comedy, silent movies and other film genres to tell the story of Kamel and Kenza. His use of choreography, from traffic control to how people walk, makes this movie refreshing and playful. In French/Arabic with Dutch subtitles. (SD) 90 min.

Rialto

WWW:What a Wonderful World Walk the Line Rock-solid performances by Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon and a stellar supporting cast elevate this by-the-numbers biopic of Johnny Cash, his transformation into the iconic Man in Black and the smouldering romance that led to his marriage with soulmate June Carter. Even though the well-researched production design and the rousing musical interludes make for a thoroughly entertaining viewing experience, both the mythical status of Cash as well as the formulaic approach of director James Mangold prevent the film from attaining the title of the Ultimate Johnny Cash Movie Ever. For once, a sequel might actually be in order. (LvH) 136 min.

Pathé Tuschinski

Amsterdam Weekly

24

The Way I Spent the End of The World daily 19.15.

FILM TIMES Thursday 29 March until Wednesday 4 April.

Times are provided by cinemas and are subject to last-minute changes. Film times also at www.amsterdamweekly.nl.

De Balie Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 10, 553 5151 Best of IDFA on Tour Sun 12.00 Bestemming Oerol Sun 20.30 Dark Side of the Moon Fri, Sat 20.30.

Cavia Van Hallstraat 52-I, 681 1419 Old Joy Thur 20.30 ShortCircuit: Haptic Cinema Fri 20.30.

Cinecenter Lijnbaansgracht 236, 623 6615 Das Leben der Anderen daily 15.45, 18.45, 21.45, Sun also 11.00 Notes on a Scandal daily 16.30, 22.00 The Queen daily 19.15, Sun also 11.00, 14.00 Salvador daily 16.00, 19.00, 21.45, Sun also 11.15 La Vie en rose daily 16.00, 19.00, 21.45, Sun also 11.15.

Cinema Amstelveen Plein 1960 2, Amstelveen, 547 5175 Arthur en de Minimoys Sat, Wed 15.30, Sun 14.00 Beestenboel Sat, Wed 13.30, Sun 12.00 Bobby Thur-Sat 20.30, Sun 16.15 Pretpark Nederland Thur 15.00 The US vs John Lennon Tues, Wed 20.30.

Filmhuis Griffioen Uilenstede 106, Amstelveen, 444 5100

iLLUSEUM Witte de Withstraat 120, 770 5581 Citizen Kane Wed 20.30.

Het Ketelhuis Haarlemerweg 8-10, 684 0090 See www.ketelhuis.nl KIT Tropennaeusstraat 2, 568 8500 Kriterion Roetersstraat 170, 623 1708 An Inconvenient Truth Thur-Tues 17.15 Curse of the Golden Flower daily 20.00, Thur, Fri, Sat also 22.15, Sat, Sun also 15.45 Death of a President Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 22.00, Fri, Sat also 0.00, Sat, Sun also 15.30 Flags of Our Fathers Sun-Wed 17.00 Hukkle Sat, Sun 15.30, Mon 22.00 Letters from Iwo Jima Thur-Tues 19.15 Little Miss Sunshine daily 18.00, Fri, Sat also 0.30, Sun also 13.30 New Year Baby Sun 13.05 The Science of Sleep Sun, Mon, Wed 22.15 Sneak Preview Tues 22.00 Surprise Film David Lynch Mon 22.00.

Melkweg Cinema Lijnbaansgracht 234A, 624 1777 Lost Highway Thur-Sat 20.00 Rize Mon, Wed 20.00.

The Movies Haarlemmerdijk 159-165, 638 6016 Anche libero va bene daily 16.45, 19.15, Sun also 12.15 Babel daily 16.30 Beestenboel Sat, Sun, Wed 15.00 The Last King of Scotland daily 21.30, Sat, Sun, Wed also 14.30, Fri, Sat also 23.45 Notes on a Scandal daily 19.15, 21.30, Sat, Sun, Wed also 14.30, Sun also 12.00 Offside daily 17.30, 19.30, Fri, Sat also 0.15 The Princess Fri, Sat 23.15 Shut Up and Sing daily 17.00, 19.00, 21.00, Fri, Sat also 23.00, Sun also 12.30 La Vie en rose daily 21.45, Sat, Sun, Wed also 14.45, Sun also 12.00.

The Departed Thur, Fri, Tues 19.30.

De Nieuwe Anita Frederik Hendrikstraat 111, 06 4150 3512,

Filmmuseum Vondelpark 3, 589 1400

Buffalo '66 Mon 20.30.

12:08 East of Bucharest daily 17.30, 21.15 8 Femmes Thur 19.30, Sat 21.45 Coup de foudre Fri 19.30, Sun 21.45 Les Destinées Sentimentales Tues, Wed 20.30 Grote Kleine Muis: Cirkelientje Sun, Wed 13.45 Our Daily Bread Thur-Sat, Mon 17.15, Sun 15.30, Tues 18.15 La Pianiste Fri 21.45, Sun 16.30 Saint-Cyr Mon 19.30 La Séparation Sun 19.30, Mon 21.45 La Truite Thur 21.45, Sat 19.30 Wallah Be Sun, Wed 14.00

OT301 Overtoom 301, 779 4913 Dealing and Wheeling in Small Arms Tues 20.30 Punk Rock Cinema: American Hardcore/Another State of Mind Sun 20.30.

Pathé ArenA ArenA Boulevard 600, 0900 1458 300 (IMAX) daily 16.00, 18.45, 21.30, Thur-Sat, Mon-Wed also 13.15, Sat also 10.30 Arthur en de Minimoys Sat, Sun, Wed 12.10, 14.20, Sat, Sun also 10.00 Beestenboel Sat, Sun, Wed 13.45, 15.20, 16.10, Sat, Sun also 10.25, 11.30

Blood Diamond daily 21.10 Casino Royale daily 17.15, Thur, Fri, Mon also 14.15 Curse of the Golden Flower daily 12.35, 15.10, 17.45, 20.15, Sat, Sun also 10.05 The Departed daily 20.30 Ernst, Bobbie en de geslepen Onix Sat, Sun, Wed 12.50, Sat, Sun also 10.50 Flushed Away (NL) Sat, Sun, Wed 13.20, Sat, Sun also 11.15 Freedom Writers daily 18.20 Ghost Rider daily 13.30, 16.10, 19.15, 21.50, Sat, Sun also 10.55 The Good Shepherd Fri, Sat, Tues 20.00 Hannibal Rising daily 19.00, 21.40, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 16.15, Thur, Fri, Mon also 13.35 Hot Fuzz Fri, Sat 21.00 The Last King of Scotland daily 21.15, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 12.45, 15.30, Sat, Sun, Wed also 12.30 Mr Bean's Holiday daily 12.50, 15.00, 16.30, 17.15, 18.40, 19.25, 20.50, 21.45, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 12.00, 14.10, Sat, Sun also 10.35 Music & Lyrics daily 13.25, 15.50, 18.35, Sat, Sun also 11.00 Namaste, London daily 12.20, 15.15, 18.10, 21.20 Night at the Museum daily 17.30, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 12.25, 14.50, Sat, Sun, Wed also 12.40, 15.05, Sat, Sun also 10.10 Norbit daily 13.05, 14.35, 15.40, 17.00, 18.30, 19.35, 22.00, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 12.10, Thur, Sun, Mon, Wed also 21.00, Sat, Sun also 10.40 Prime Tues 13.30 The Return daily 12.15, 14.20, 16.20, 18.25, Sat, Sun also 10.15 Sneak Preview Tues 21.00 La Vie en rose Thur, Sun, Mon, Wed 20.00.

Pathé De Munt Vijzelstraat 15, 0900 1458 300 daily 20.15, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 13.30, 15.00, 16.30, 18.00, Thur, Fri, Sun, Tues also 12.00, Sat also 11.15, 12.45, 14.15, 15.45, 17.15, 19.00, 22.00, 23.15, Mon, Wed also 12.15 Babel Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 14.00, 20.25, Sat 15.10, 22.25 Beestenboel Sat 10.10, 12.25, 14.40, Sun 11.00, 13.50, Wed 12.15, 14.30, 16.45 Blood Diamond Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 13.40, 16.55, 20.05, Sun also 10.30, Sat 10.50, 14.30, 17.35, 20.45 Dennis P Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 18.30, Sat 19.20 The Departed Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.00, 15.15, 20.50, Sat 22.15 Dreamgirls Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 19.00, Thur, Fri, Sun-Tues also 16.10, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 12.45, Sat 17.05, 20.10 Freedom Writers Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 15.25, 18.15, Sat 16.40, 19.55 Ghost Rider Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 16.00, 18.45, 21.25, Thur, Fri, MonWed also 13.00, Sat 12.10, 14.50, 17.45, 20.25, 23.00, Sun also 13.20 Hannibal Rising Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.35, 21.35, Sat 10.35, 13.15, 22.45 Hot Fuzz Sat 21.45 Kicks Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 17.25, Sun also 11.15, Sat 12.35, 18.15

29 March-4 April 2007 The Last King of Scotland Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 21.10, Sat 22.15 Das Leben der Anderen Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 14.35, 17.40, 20.35, Sun also 11.30, Sat 12.20, 15.35, 18.40 Love and Death on Long Island Wed 21.00 Mr Bean's Holiday Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.25, 14.45, 17.05, 19.25, 21.45, Sun also 10.10, Sat 11.25, 13.45, 16.10, 18.35, 21.00, 23.30 Music & Lyrics Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 13.15, 15.45, 19.40, 22.10, Sun also 10.50, Sat 11.00, 13.35, 16.20, 18.50, 21.20 Norbit Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 13.05, 14.15, 15.35, 16.45, 18.35, 19.15, 22.00, Sun also 10.35, 11.45, Sat 10.05, 11.50, 12.30, 14.20, 15.00, 16.55, 17.30, 19.45, 20.05, 22.35 The Return Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 21.55, Sat also 23.05.

Pathé Tuschinski Reguliersbreestraat 34, 0900 1458 Curse of the Golden Flower daily 15.30, 21.30 The Good Shepherd daily 20.45, Fri-Mon, Wed also 12.15 Das Leben der Anderen daily 12.10, 15.10, 18.10, 21.20 Mr Bean's Holiday Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 13.45, 16.10, 18.30, 21.00, Sat 12.25, 14.45, 17.05, 19.25, 21.45 Music & Lyrics daily 13.15, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 19.15, 21.45, Thur, Tues also 16.45, Fri-Mon, Wed also 15.45, Sat also 19.00, 22.00 Notes on a Scandal daily 12.45, 19.00 The Queen daily 15.50, 18.15 La Vie en rose daily 12.00, 15.00, 18.05, 21.10 Walk the Line Thur, Tues 13.30.

Rialto Ceintuurbaan 338, 676 8700 Anche libero va bene daily 19.50, 22.00, Thur, Sat-Wed also 17.45 Bamako Fri-Sun, Wed 15.00 Dakota Sun 11.00 Exils Sat 23.15 Flandres Sat, Sun, Wed 15.30 Glue Fri 16.00 Jimmy Rosenberg--de vader, de zoon & het talent Fri-Sun, Wed 17.15, Sat, Sun also 14.00 Das Leben der Anderen daily 19.00, 21.45, Fri, Sat, Wed also 14.15 Swing Fri 23.15 Ten Canoes Sat, Sun 13.30, Sun also 11.30 Transylvania daily 19.15, 21.15 Van de andere kant Sun 14.00/16.00 WWW: What a Wonderful World Fri, Sat, Wed 17.00, Sat also 12.15, Sun also 11.15.

De Roode Bioscoop Haarlemmerplein 7H, 625 7500, Bittersweet Life,A Sun, 20.30.

De Uitkijk Prinsengracht 452, 623 7460 After the Wedding daily 21.00 Forever Sun 14.00 Monastery,The: Mr Vig & the Nun daily 19.00 Perfume:The Story of a Murderer daily 16.00.

29 March-4 April 2007

Amsterdam Weekly

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How to submit an ad: via our website at www.amsterdamweekly.nl, by fax at 020 620 1666 or post to Amsterdam Weekly, De Ruyterkade 106, 1011 AB Amsterdam. Deadline: Monday at 12.00, the week of publication. lets. Email marc_mccarthy guage jobs from all the major AD OF THE WEEK @hotmail.com. employment agencies and HELLO SAILOR! Lessons for beginners and experi- STUDIO APT OR ROOMThe- employers in NL on one webenced sailors. Evenings and weekends of your choice ater artist/peace educator site. www.xpatjobs.com. in May and June, near Amsterdamse Bos! Info: 681 looking for studio apt or nice OPPORTUNITY Imagine 1395/489 1108 or check out www.roerkoning.nl. New room in the city for 500-600. helping people save money Currently live in Hoofddorp and earning money each time instructors welcome! and fully employed in Inter- someone uses their telephone, floors and including utilities. national Research in Duivinternet or mobile. This in 19 HOUSING OFFERED Contact franbula@web.de. endrecht. Friendly, clean, countries. Just click on more 2-ROOM APT FOR SALE 2 MONTHS IN A'DAM Ital- responsible and mature Euro- information and we will get Paardenstraat 9-II,-III, A’dam ian young couple (f+m) work- pean-American. Geminirise in touch with you. www.renecentre. Brilliant and radi- ing as visual artist and film- @gmail.com. No agencies heeren.acnrep.com. cally renovated. All inside maker seeks home in A’dam please. Thanks!

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(PARA) MEDICS OFFICE Expat doctor looking for serious health professionals (psy/physio/giro, etc) to join new expat health centre in central A’dam. Contact 06 1771 4131 or huisartsen@planet.nl.

GMAT PREPARATIONI am looking for an English teacher, familiar with the GMAT test. Contact 06 2639 5651.

TOUR GUIDES NEEDED Native English speakers wanted. New Amsterdam Tours looking for young, enthusiastic A’dam fans to work as tour guides. Share your love of A’dam with visitors, meet people and earn around 15-20 per hour. Acting and history experience a plus. Contact jobs@sandemans-new.com.

BIKE TAXI DRIVER WielerTaxi Amsterdam is looking for new, motivated, responsible drivers. Combine making money with staying fit.

We work all year round, 12 months a year. The earlier you start, the better prepared you are for summer. Contact 06 3882 2683/www.wielertaxi.nl/info@wielertaxi.nl for more information.

SALES MANAGER Young company specialising in European Business Summits looking for sales manager. Experience in telephone sales, selling to C-and Director-level executives. Ambitious, hard-worker, hungry for money. Great earning and promotion opportunities. Send letter + CV to ans@endeavourevents.com.

NATIVE FRENCH Looking for flexible job in the center of A’dam for 10/hr? Up to 45 hours per day, at least 2 days per week? Then Guidion can offer you an interesting job in our international team.

Interested? Please send email to bmartens@guidion.nl.

GRAPHIC DESIGNER WANTED Photographer urgently looking for graphic designer to help in making of a booklet. Material of documentary nature. Project was done in museum in small vilASSISTANT WANTED to lage in Georgia, Caucasus. work on production of sum- Looking very much forward to

meet someone who can offer 21 April. Contact Magda on expertise. Contact 06 4170 06 4136 3552/mag.kowa5501/elkeroelant@planet.nl. lik@gmail.com.

PART-TIME JOBRomanian masters student in finance, looking for part-time job either in finance field or related (secretary, translation Romanian-English). Serious, practical and committed. Contact HANDYMAN Specialise in lorelei_ro2002@yahoo.com. painting, lacquering and FOR SALE small repairs. Contact Peter INDIAN SILVER jewellery, on 06 5537 1575. stones, silk, wool, carpets, WEB DESIGNERlooking for Tibetan tankas, singing bowls, fulltime position. My experihangmats, perfumes, budence includes creating graphdhas, leather, batiek, blanics and layouts for print and kets, bed covers, shawls, web, 3D modelling, also incense, spices. All for sale JavaScript, ActionScript, now. 50% discount on all IndiHTML and CSS authoring. an products. Order now and Please contact me to request pay later. Contact 412 0993/06 my CV or samples of my work.

4035 8511. christopher.ryan@fsmail.net.

WORK WANTED

HANDYMAN Experienced with painting, plastering, wallpapering, carpentry and construction. Contact Cesar 06 2883 0434.

URGENT: WORK WANTED English-/Dutch-speaking female looking for work. Have business education, good general knowledge, excellent verbal & literary skills and fast learner. Full-time job ideal but willing to clean, babysit, wait tables, etc. Contact leenetia@hotmail.com/0612711538.

VEHICLES

my 26 y.o. female Polish friend. She does not speak English, only Polish and German and coming to A’dam on

PRO SOUND RENTAL We at Soundandlights.nl are a professional team of people ready to give life to any par-

BOAT FOR SALE Kruiser Duncan 1974 10.7 X 3.2 X 1.2 meters. Steel yacht, sleeps 5, gas stove, water heater, shower, WC, 2 fridges, 2 TVs, Peugeot 60PK diesel. Bow thruster, 2 bikes, tools, bedding, etc. All complete to cruise the canals of Holland MUSIC INTERNSHIPI am a or live aboard. Price 27,000.

19 y.o. boy from Germany and Contact Mike on 679 0704. searching for an internship SERVICES in music industry. Internship should be scheduled from 1 PSYCHIC WINSORFree psyFeb till end May 2008. I speak chic readings available by German, English, Polish and phone guarantees to help learning Dutch. Already have with all problems. Do you feel experience in the business. you need guidance through Contact david@switchstance love, business or marriage? recordings.de.

Ms. Winsor Guarantees BABYSITTER AVAILABLE results in 24 hours +1 850 Looking for babysitting job for 691 9668.

Amsterdam Weekly

26 ty or event. Sound and lights rental services that we provide are suitable for spaces between 20m2-200m2 and for up to 400 people. www. soundandlights.nl or call 06 4273 6998.

NEED A STUNNING WEBSITE? Experienced web designer builds professional, unique sites for very reasonable prices. Online links to past projects a vailable. Jordan: jordangcz@yahoo.com, 06 3034 1238.

WE MOVE YOU!Driver with trailer 10m3 will travel all the country. Ready to go to any location, at any time. Call Mike on (0)46 273 6998.

CLEANING AND IRONINGI will happily clean your apt regularly or one-off. Am mid-20’s, very energetic and have eye for detail. I can do ironing as well. €10/hr.Emailalesya1981@hotmail.com. 06 274 580 27 GOOGLE ADWORDSWant to attract people to your website, increase traffic and/or transactions? Certified Google Adwords professional can help you maximize your search engine marketing.

Reasonable rates. Located in A’dam. Contact burtonmediaconsulting@gmail.com.

English language content for or visit www.lindayoungaeswebsite, brochures, menus, thetics.com. etc. Very competitive rates. ENGLISH MAN WITH VAN Contact Helen 06 1350 1570. can help with removals big AT YOUR SERVICE Need or small, in or outside of counhelp? I’m your girl! Child- try. Reasonable rates, quick care, house and pet-sitting, service. Contact Lee on 06 errand-running, etc. Aman- 2388 2184 or isabelleanda at Your Service! Contact dlee@planet.nl. me on 06 2523 1611 or a.atyFRED'S PET CAREFriendourservice@gmail.com. ly dogwalker with references, FENGSHUI-ASTROLOGY available from 07.00-20.00 to The benefits from feng shui take care of your pets. Also consultation are balancing possible to keep them durthe energies (‘qi’). We can ing the day and overnight. bring auspicious influences Reasonable rates. Call Fred on our health, wealth and rela- 06 1649 1359. tionships. www.muus-feng- BEST MOVING SERVICEIN shui.nl or call 06 2514 8926. TOWN Driver with van (10m3) SPIRITUAL COUNSELING through the tarot. Understand patterns in your life. Deepen in self-understanding. Clarify decisions. Find healing.

Connect with guidance. 10 years experience. All belief systems. Shamanic and energy work also available. Confidential and enlightening.

Contact nick@collectivethinking.com.

or truck (40m3) available.

Plus extra moving men, hoisting rope and elevator. Any combinations possible. Call Taco on 06 4486 4390, email info@vrachttaxi.com or check out www.vrachttaxi.com.

HEALTH & WELLNESS BODYFORMER SLIMMING Electro-therapy. 10 x 50 min on pre-programmed technology. For beginners or advanced. Muscle build-up, lymph-drainage, cellulite, tenseness, etc. Used within physio. Safe, easy and fast.

Excellent results within 3 weeks. Contact Creative Beauty 488 9346 / 06 5576 7491.

LEARN YOUR FUTURE?Do you want to learn your future?

Understand with Easternorigin fortune.. Deeper in self-understanding. Correct decisions. Find the true way.

10 years experience. All belief systems. Yoga and Reiki also available.Contact: 06 4367 0585 or elcinir@yahoo.com.

TULIPANYAre you thinking about starting your own business? Do you have a company but administration and papers are not your thing?

Do you need a business plan, labour from abroad, to buy real estate or do you have emmigration plans? Call Tuli- MEANINGLESS? The fishpany on 06 1021 8271 or email trap of consciousness? How to learn to live with the almost tulipany@live.nl.

BRAZILIAN WAXINGBritish certain knowledge of your Beauty Therapist. 25 years own conscious annihilation. experience, CIDESCO, BAB- Jack Milton, Metaphysician.

TAC ANBOS, soft laser hair Helping you to help yourself. removal, advanced electrol- Call 06 1488 9377.

ENGLISH COMMUNICATORFreelance English Communication Specialist. Writes, edits and proof reads your

ysis, P8N8 oxygen facials for acne/deep cleansing/antiage at McTavish Hairsalon in De Pijp. Contact 06 4079 9921

experiencesinUSwilltakecare of all your dental needs: general, cosmetic, invisalign and implants.Eveningandweekend appointments available at www.amsterdamdental.com.

OVEREATERS ANONYMOUS Do you have a problem with food? Maybe we can help. English speaking Over eaters Anonymous meetings: Tues 19.00, 3de Hugo de Grootstraat 5. Thur 20.00, Nieuwezijds Voorburgwal 282A. Contact 408 3282/06 4874 9590.

29 March-4 April 2007

UK for 6 years. Look for more Phone 06 2389 1289 or 06 info: www.corakoorn-prak 2332 2767. tijk.nl.

THAI MASSAGEwww.TimeDREAM DENTISTCitizen of ForThaiMassage.com. the world & American-trained.

Lasting relationships with HOME IMPROVEMENT patients is important to me. I WE DO IT ALLfrom planning, pledge excellence in all I do woodworking, painting, floorand look forward to helping you ing, roofing, etc. Good old boys make the most of your smile at good old prices. Email ams& your mouth’s well being. For terdamstu@yahoo.com. now and years to come. Contact 612 6093/www.avicen- NEED A CONTRACTOR ??

For all your electrics, kitchen nadental.com. works, installations of bathTHINKING ABOUT THER- rooms and toilets, roof APY? Heighten your quality repairs, garden works, techof life and improve your relanical advice, painting, renotionships with the help of a vation and reconstruction, native English-speaking therrestauration, tiling, toilets, apist. My 20 years of profesfloors, carpentry, plumbing sional experience and underand much much more, call standing can help you better cope with feelings and sort the Klus Bus on 06 1899 1782 through stressful thoughts. or www.klusbus.net.

LEARN YOUR FUTURE?Do you want to learn your future?

Understand with Eastern origin Fortune. Deeper in selfunderstanding. Correct decisions. Find the true way. 10 years experience. All belief systems. Yoga and Reiki also available. Confidential and Contact Sagar 06 4626 5412. enlightening. Contact 06 4367 MASSAGE 0585/elcinir@yahoo.com.

CRANIO-SACRALMASEXPAT COUNSELING, SAGE Cranio-Sacral-Balcoaching and therapy in ancing with its subtle, genEnglish and Dutch in A’dam, tle, yet deeply effective touch Haarlem and The Hague areas. supports the release of tenWe care because we know. For sions and dysfunction withexpats by expat. For more in the whole system, helping information go to www.expa- the body to heal from withtriatecounseling.com or con- in. Call for session: 412 0993 tact Robert on 023 573 5249. or 06 4035 8511.

HYPNOTHERAPYcan help TANTRA MASSAGESacred, you! Stop smoking? Weight sensual massage created to loss? Stress? Anxiety? Panic arouse, circulate and increase attacks? Phobias? OCDs? sexual energy throughout Depression? Regression? Full entire body. Moving erotic member British Society of energy throughout the body Clinical Hypnosis. For more not only enhances awareness information please visit and capacity for pleasure, it www.self-hypnotherapy.com can also be a powerful healor contact nick@self-hyp- ing experience. Individuals & notherapy.com. Change is couples. Contact 06 4277 3290. closer than you imagine.

FULL BODY massage in

HOUSE RENOVATIONS!Do you need cost-effective and high-quality full house renovation? Professional experience and good references.

Online links to past projects.

Contact 06 4451 7410/karol_ rajczyk@hotmail.com.

WE DO IT ALL 4 LESS We do it all from planning, framing (wood, steel, block, foam), plumbing,(new & repair), electric, flooring (all types), etc. US prices & over 20 years experience. Email limostu@ yahoo.com for appt or call 646 5643.

COMPUTERS

CHEAP MAC & PC REPAIR Upgrades, service, education.

MACs, PCs, laptops, desktops, networks. You name it. An affordable, elegant, on-site AMERICAN DENTISTS solution is available. SatisEnglish- and Dutch-speaking COACHING/THERAPYCER- A’dam for men only by 1 or 2 faction guaranteed. Local refdentists who received our US TIFIED Have been living and masseurs, Latin and Euro- erences provided on request.

Doctorates in Dentistry and academically educated in the pean. Solo or duo treatment. Contact Mike 06 2143 2623/

mike@autonomous.nl.

PC HOUSE DOCTOR Specialised in virus/spyware removal, H/W, S/W repair, data recovery, wireless, cable/ADSL installation and computer lessons from friendly and experienced Microsoft professional for reasonable price. Contact Mario 06 1644 8230.

NEED HELP WITH YOUR MAC? MAC-lover helps you with basic setups, minor troubleshooting, install, networking, basic MAC lessons, setting up programs, MS Word, QuarkXpress, etc. Help with purchasing the right MAC. Contact Sagar at 779 1926.

APPLEMAC computer help, solutions and general troubleshooting. Contact Jay 06 4094 1991.

COURSES BLISSSmall mind, small joy.

Infinite mind, infinite joy.

You get to choose! See essentialmeditation.org. (How to drown a world of worries in a sea of bliss.)

SINGING LESSONSOn Prinsengracht, beautiful atmosphere. Classical voice training, breathing techniques, vocalization, scales, etc. For beginners and professionals.

From classic to jazz, pop or rock, all styles of singing.

Good prices + free introduction lesson. Contact Michael on 320 2095 or ajara 77@yahoo.com.

IYENGAR YOGA CLASSES with certified Iyengar yoga teacher Cristina Libanori, Tues 19.30 to 21.00 at Training Centrum, Europaplein 127 near RAI. Tram 4 (stop Dintelstraat). 8 p/class; with yoga strippenkaart 7.50.

Individual therapeutic classes arranged by appt at 20/hr. cristina@the-wheel-of-yoga. com/773 5307.

HEALING WORKSHOPS Starting March in Mirror Center in A’dam Oost. Il Cielo offers foot reflexology, craniosacral workshops and holistic massage courses. Interested? Check courses/programs on www.ilcielo.org or contact 06 3004 9738. Treatments reimbursed by health insurance.

BEGINNERS MEDITATION Weekend w/ Swami Atma.

Learn about meditation including benefits, techniques & how establish dedicated daily practice. Free intro lecture 30 Mar, 19.00-21.00. Workshop 31 Mar & 1 Apr, 14.0017.00: €65/weekend A’dam center. Susan Nicolas 06 5176 4621/nicolas@planet.nl/http:/ /amsterdam.yoga108.org.

SPICE UP YOUR LIFE! Learn the choreographies of the best videoclips. Go-go dancing classes, pole dancing, cardio striptease, belly dancing, bachelor parties, etc. Check our studio in the heart of A’dam on www.sexyinstructors.com. Email info@ sexyinstructors.com.

CHILDBIRTH COURSES Interactive and dynamic course about giving birth in the Netherlands. Next course starting on 29 March for midApril and May due dates. Meet other pregnant internationals during this English couples course. www.bumpandbeyond.nl.

DRAWING AND PAINTING workshops by professional artist, various techniques, all styles. For info call 681

Amsterdam Weekly

29 March-4 April 2007 3067/joneiselin@hetnet.nl.

YOGACAFE.ORGNew beginner’s course starting 5 April.

For more information about the course and other weekly on-going classes, please visit www.yogacafe.org or contact info@yogacafe.org.

YOGA-REIKI Want a real change in your Life? Wanna relax your spirit? You are welcome to spiritual yoga and reiki world! Friendly prices.

Just call 06 4367 0585.

FITNESS FOR WOMENFeel more joyful, energetic, strong, flexible. Gentle workouts in Jordaan + Baarsjes. All nationalities welcome. Nice quiet atmosphere. Lowimpact conditioning, stretching, yoga postures, breathing, core training, relaxation.

No fitness equipment/experience needed. Certified trainer. www.sylfit.com.

PIANO LESSONS Experienced pianist and teacher from Latin America available to teach Spanish and English speakers.If you ever thought of studying piano and have not done so, now is a good opportunity to begin! Aprende a tocar piano! In A’dam at your residence. 06 2745 80 aleyda_alva@yahoo.com.

27

ga yoga, RSI and stress solving. Exercises adjusted to your personal needs. The practice will vitalize and strengthen your body and spirit. Contact 06 4138 725.

BIBLE EDUCATIONEnglishlanguage, part-time Bible education offered bi-weekly on Saturdays in A’dam, The Hague, Rotterdam and Eindhoven.

For Christians eager to study the Bible and be active in their church. Low course fee. See www.dewittenberg.nl/bee, email bee.dewittenberg@hccnet.nl or call 078 674 7339.

LANGUAGES

1677 7520.

DUTCH LESSONS New evening courses starting in April and May, centre of A’dam. 200- 250 for 20 hours.

Visit www.mercuurtaal.nl or call 693 4250.

NEWINA'DAMStill not found the right Dutch teacher? Try us: C & C Language Support.

Lessons in a relaxed environment, for individuals and small groups.ConcentrationonpracIMPROVE YOUR FRENCH tical use and conversation. For Do you know a little bit of details, visit the www.lasu.nl.

French but want to improve BUSINESS ENGLISHNative through friendly conversa- English speaker (Canadian), tions and funny exercices? Trinity TESOL certified, busiThen I’m your girl! Drop me ness background, available a line at black_light_dis- for business English classes. trict@hotmail.com for fur- Improve email or report writther details. A bientôt! ing, telephone or presentaLEARN SPANISH! Do you tion skills. All levels. Contact want to learn or improve your kelly.a.burton@gmail.com/06 Spanish with professional 5053 4033. native. Speaking, grammar, IMPROVE YOUR FRENCH etc. What you want! Private Voulez-vous parler français?

20 and group 15 each. (2- Inexpensive and individual 3). Phone 06 4384 5642. Y conversation with native habla español!

French girl. Contact 06 3372 ENGLISH TUTOR Practice 5012.

YOGAYOGA.NLoffers Hatha, Iyengar and Vinyasa Flow classes. Daily morning and evening, in English, in A’dam close to Jordaan. Also classes in the weekend: 3 on Sat as well as monthly Sun work- your English with American shops. Visit www.yogayoga.nl and British drama by playor call 688 3418. wrights David Hare, Arthur PERSONAL YOGA TEACH- Miller,CarylChurchill,Eugene ER Professional & friendly O’NeillandTennesseeWilliams. yoga teacher, Jeroen, gives Discusscharactersandthemes affordable yoga classes in incorrectEnglish.British-AmerEnglish, German and Dutch. ican teacher. €15-20 p.h. ConCertified in Hatha/Ashtan- tactgeminirise@gmail.com/06

MOBILE DUTCHStill getting to grips with Dutch? Download a handy translator for your mobile phone@ www.steape.com. Available in 17 languages each product has about 100 handy phrases. Comes with text & sound so your pronunciation

is flawless. Steape is cheap- us at 420 8146 or email er, lighter & more fun than info@joostweethet.nl. traditional phrase books.

IMPROVE YOUR DUTCH! ENGLISH PRACTICEGroup Link Taal Studio, a profesmeets weekly for improving sional way to learn Dutch, pri& developing English skills. vate lesssons, small groups, Grammar, vocabulary & pro- intensive course, etc., startnunciation practice through ing every week, Vijzelgracht discussion, reading, writing, 53. Contact linktaalstudio etc. Led by experienced, @gmail.com or 06 4133 9323. native-speaking instructor. SPANISH CONVERSATION Inexpensive, informal, inter- Want to practise/learn Spannational, in Centrum. Con- ish with a native speaker? tact jehrlichnl@hotmail.com Different fun topics: foods, /486 1037.

Latin America, music, literLEARNING DUTCH?JOOST WEET HET! We offer inexpensive evening classes 2x2 hrs/wk. Improve your Dutch fast at Joost Weet Het and have loads of fun. Courses on all levels and real quality. Visit our website www.joostweethet.nl or call us at 420 8146 or email info@joostweethet.nl.

ature, glass of wine, tea or coffee. Individual lesson 20 & group lessons 15, all levels.

Further questions contact Natalia on 06 42 999 648 or nataliad37@hotmail.com.

MUSICIANS

naar diepgang in het werken met de stem. Contact info@steminbeweging.nl.

Aanmelden. Voor meer informatie kijk op www.steminbeweging.nl of bel 419 8389.

DRUMMER WANTEDBand from A’dam and looking for a drummer. We have some gigs lined up and need someone fast. Style is rock/pop/ blues/anything. Please contact jjtparry@ gmail.com.

Should be willing to live (working/bussiness) in beautiful island Bali, Indonesia.

If interested email jobsolution06@yahoo.com.

withlightingconceptsandtechniques (I have a ProMaster but need more help using it). Contactkatrinafied@gmail.com/06 4849 5222.

NUDE EXPERIENCEWe’re 2 guys offering a couple the chance to have a dinner cooked and served by us nude.

The couple with the best reason why they want it gets it.

Email us and it might be you: dinner_with_a_difference @hotmail.com.

WEBPAGE TEACHER I need to learn how to make a webpage! Do you wanna teach me? In exchange, I can cut your hair, teach you how to make a risotto or to play guitar. If interested email sinaudio@gmail.com.

GIRL FOR DATE WANTED Charming, well-educated, athletic man, living and working in central A’dam, Super social skills, enjoys practicing many sports, music and travelling is looking for good-looking, slim girlfriend, with g.s.o.h. and similar interests. Mail amsterick@hotmail.com.

AANBIEDINGEN ONLINE De leukste online aanbiedingen. Met info over telefoons, vakanties, computers en andere aanbiedingen die gratis zijn. Ga naar: aanbiedingenophetnet.startspot. nl of aanbiedingenonline.bekijkmenu.nl.

STORYBOARD ARTIST? I am seeking someone to help story-board a film idea. I cannot pay, but if the rights are sold you will be compensated. Contact john@rijkshemelvaart.com.

ATTRACTIVE FEMALE, new to A’dam, seeks nicelooking Caucasoid gentleman who is kind enough to show her around A’dam, Keukenhof park, etc. Simply to share some romantic time. She stays BOOKCLUB Do you want to MUSIC LESSONSI offer cus- in Holland around 6 months. join a bookclub? We read fiction and non-fiction and meet tomised guitar lessons for all Email chaohi@ gmx.de. once a month in central A’dam levels. Also for purposes such ANNOUNCEMENTS to discuss. We are a mixed as preparation for conservatory (or final exams), record- PUBLIC SPEAKINGINTER- group of different nationaliing or stage performance, ACTIVE SEMINAR which ties and age. If you are intermusic workshops and more. focuses on public speaking ested, drop me a mail: susanFor more details please con- skills, the common pitfalls newintrich@hotmail.com. tact 06 2956 4595. and how to overcome them. WORLD SESSIONS IS ON GYPSY JAZZ GUITARRobin The evening will be packed Events production company, Nolan is taking students for with tips and advice. My style World Sessions, arives in A’dam gypsy jazz guitar lessons in the of working is educational, for set of unique events. Callstyle of Django Reinhardt. warm and humorous, 15 April ing all artists, dancers, VJs, DJs Contact nolanrobin@hot- 20.00-22.00, ABC Treehouse. and promoters for unique colmail.com or call 06 5216 5010. Details: www.the-speaker.info laboration. Big acts and big /06 4638 8622. love. joe@worldsessions.com.

PERSONALS DIGITAL PHOTOGRA- Pics, CVs and Ideas. boomer BALI TROPIC ISLAND Hi, PHYIamlookingforsomeone 226@yahoo.com.

GYPSY JAZZ GUITARRobin Nolan is taking students for gypsy jazz guitar lessons in the INTENSIVE DUTCHCOURS- style of Django Reinhardt.

ES at Joost Weet Het! 4x4 Contact nolanrobin@hothrs/wk. We have an uncon- mail.com or call 06 5216 5010. ventional and very clear learn- STEM IN BEWEGING Voor ing method. Fun classes, wie: Iedereen die nieuwsemphasis on conversation gierig is naar de mogelijk I am male/Indonesian look- with a Nikon digital camera FREE NOVEL dirtyredand inexpensive! Visit heden van stem, zang & ing for woman for serious who can give me lessons using kiss.com. www.joostweethet.nl or call beweging en die op zoek is relationship and more. my (D70) and who is familiar