Ambush Magazine Volume 37 Issue 06 by Ambush Publishing

THE OFFICIAL GAY MAGAZINE OF THE GULF SOUTH™

A Biweekly Publication Celebrating LGBTQ Life, Music & Culture Since 1982 VOLUME 37 ISSUE 06

TUESDAY, MARCH 12, 2019

www.AMBUSHMAG.com

MARDI GRAS Highlights, St Patrick’s Day, & Buku Music + Art Project

Vanessa wanted to kiss

.... all the irish boys’ “blarneys”

but she had a

SHOW to do! Play Girlz

The Music of

Senator Ken Fridays 7:30–9:30pm

hosted by Gia GiaVanni

Fridays 10–11:30pm

The Music of the

Vanessa Carr Band

Saturdays 7:30–9:30pm

Divas R Us starring Monica

Synclaire-Kennedy

Saturdays 10–11:30pm

The Half-Assed Straight Boys Sundays 3–9pm

Best L GBTQ

Bar

SA S E N A THE V D N A B R CAR 0pm

ys@7:3 a d r u Sat

Jubilee: Dragging for Jesus with Reba Douglas Sundays 5–7pm

Best Happy Hour

in the Quar ter!

Golden

The Official Home of Southern Decadence.

THE

Lantern

1239 Royal St. New Orleans • facebook.com/GoldenLanternBar

HAPPY HOUR 8AM – 8PM DAILY

N E V E R A C O V E R AT THE GOLDEN LANTERN

JUNE 2019 NYCPRIDE.ORG/2019

PRODUCED BY

WORLDPRIDE LICENSOR

H O S T PA R T N E R

THE “OFFICIAL” DISH by TJ ACOSTA, PUBLISHER

Dear Ambush Nation, Mardi Gras 2019 is in the books and looking back, it was definitely one of the best ever. What was a long Mardi Gras season started with Frank Perez’s Mystick Krewe de la Rue Royale Revelers 12th night party on January 6th and ended with King Cake Queen XXV Tiffany Alexander and friends at the 32nd Annual Gay Mardi Gras Bead Toss on Mardi Gras Day. What happened in between was a blur of parades, parties and Gay Mardi Gras Balls. This Carnival season, I decided early on that I would attend all the Gay Mardi Gras Balls in New Orleans. I also attended a ball on the Gulf Coast in Mississippi. It was an amazing experience to see the creative talent of so many in our community as they designed and brought to life some of the most impressive costumes I’ve ever seen. If you’ve never been before, I would highly encourage you to go to one or

several of the balls next year. Having never been to a Gay Mardi Gras ball before, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I quickly learned that all the balls basically follow the same format. They each have a theme where members of the Krewe present themselves in elaborate costumes for your viewing pleasure. Most throw in a drag number or two where they raise funds for a charity. Finally, at the end of the night a King and Queen (or just a Queen, or two Monarchs) are presented. From there the party begins, where the guests drink, dance and enjoy the fun that is Carnival Season. Like most things in life, some of the balls exceeded my expectations and others left something to be desired. The one thing that was impressive about all the balls is the level of commitment of the members of each Krewe to keep the tradition of Gay Mardi Gras alive in New Orleans and along the Gulf South. In the coming weeks and months, Ambush would love to be

Inside this Issue of Ambush Snap Paparazzi Out & About with Steamboat Club

Snap Paparazzi Out & About with Pauly Cajun

NOAGE and LSUHSC’s Community Survey of LGBT Adults Aged 45 and Older

Christopher Castellani, St. Sukie de la Croix, and Kimberly Dark

Musings by Catherine: Gateway to the Future: Resilience

THE ROCKFORD FILES: Filthy Whore SEEKS Hopeless Romantic

Snap Paparazzi Out & About with the Krewe of King Arthur

From Squirt.org: #CensorshipSucks

Art 101: Contemporary Works and Relationship Quirks

Snap Paparazzi Crossing

Snap Paparazzi Out & About with the Krewe of Queenateenas

18-23

Party Down

24-25

Snap Paparazzi Out & About with Tony Leggio Under the GayDar: New Orleans Hot Happenings

25 26-34

Snap Paparazzi Out & About at the Bourbon St Awards

Under the GayDar: Along the Gulf South

Moments in Gay New Orleans History: The Journal of Joe Wilkins

Book Review: Once & Future

Financial & Business: Financial Guide to Inheriting a Home

Snap Paparazzi Out & About with the Krewe of Armeinius

38-39

Trodding the Boards

40-41

LGBT Owned & Friendly Business Directory

42-43

Snap Paparazzi Out & About with the Lords of Leather

44-47

A Community within Communities: Love is not exclusion.

Saints and Sinners Festival to Feature Panel on Social Justice

ODYSSEY HOUSE LOUISIANA’S 2nd ANNUAL PROPHYLACTIC PROM

LGBT+ Archives Project Launches Oral History Initiative

Sports 52-53 Gulf South LGBTQ Entertainment & Travel Guide Since 1982 New Orleans, Louisiana info@ambushpublishing.com

44-46

part of the conversation to help the Gay Mardi Gras Krewes thrive and expand their membership and reach. I simply cannot put into words the talent it takes to make some of these amazing costumes. I would love to see more people in our community get involved and learn the tradition and craft of making these costumes and putting on these wonderful balls. Ambush is more than willing to help in any way we can. I’m already looking forward to Gay Mardi Gras 2020! KING CAKE QUEEN CORONATION & BEAD TOSS On Tuesday, February 26 the Krewe of Queenateenas presented to society, King Cake Queen XXV, Tiffany Alexander, The Silver Anniversary Queen. The coronation ball was held at the home of Ambush Owner and Publisher, TJ Acosta in Uptown New Orleans and was by invitation only. Over 125 guests were in attendance with several traveling from out of state to attend the coronation. Guests lined up on the red carpet and each had their picture taken with KCQ Tiffany Alexander. The event was attended by several former King Cake Queens and royalty from several of the Gay Mardi Gras Krewes along with other guests. On Mardi Gras Day, KCQ Tiffany Alexander and friends threw beads to the revelers down below from the balcony at 811 Bourbon Street. A special thanks to Randy Roig and Brian Weimer for allowing us to use their balcony for the event. It was so much fun for everyone there and I must say, it truly warmed my heart to see the smile on Tiffany’s face as she tossed beads to the crowds below. I want to thank Tiffany Alexander for for being such a pleasure to work with throughout this entire process. She is very deserving of the honor and continues to make me proud. Special thanks to Aubrey Synclaire who helped to fill me in on the history of the event and aided with reaching out to the former King Cake Queens. I would like to also thank all of our guests who made this event a success. It was great to see so many people from different parts of our community coming together in celebration of Carnival and the tradition of the Krewe of Queenateenas, the King Cake Queen and Gay Mardi Gras. I also want to take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who felt they were left out and did not get an invitation to the event. This was the first time I put on this event and unfortunately there was no instruction manual nor any list of people who were invited each year. We

Gulf South Entertainment/Travel Guide Since 1982 • Texas-Florida ANNUAL READERSHIP OVER 1M+ 260,000+ Print/780,000+ Online Official Gay Easter Parade Guide™ Official Gay Mardi Gras Guide™ Official Gay New Orleans Guide™ Official Pride Guide™ Official Southern Decadence Guide™

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR info@ambushpublishing.com CIRCULATION

Alabama - Mobile; Florida - Pensacola; Louisiana - Baton Rouge, Lafayette, Lake Charles, Metairie, New Orleans, Monroe, Alexandria; Mississippi - Bay St. Louis, Biloxi, Jackson; Texas - Houston

PUBLISHER TJ Acosta EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Reed Wendorf DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS & EVENTS Chris Leonard SENIOR EDITOR Brian Sands CONTRIBUTORS Brian Sands, Catherine Roland, Crescent City Sports, Frank Perez, Jim Meadows, Kevin Assam, Persana Shoulders, Rev. Bill Terry, Rodney Thoulion, Ryan Rockford, Scot Billeaudeau & Tony Leggio LOCAL ADVERTISING sales@ambushpublishing.com Reed Wendorf NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media (212) 242-6863 Ambush Magazine is published on alternate Tuesdays of each month by Ambush Publishing. Advertising, Copy & Photo DEADLINE is alternate Tuesdays, 5pm, prior to publication week, accepted via e-mail only: info@ambushpublishing.com. The Publisher assumes no responsibility for the claims of advertisers and has the right to reject any advertising. The inclusion of an individual’s name or photograph in this publication implies nothing about that individual’s sexual orientation. Letters, stories, etc. appearing herein are not necessarily the opinion of the Publisher or Staff of Ambush Magazine. ©1982-2019 AMBUSH PUBLISHING LLC, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NOTHING HEREIN MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION OF THE PUBLISHER INCLUDING AD LAYOUTS, MAPS & PHOTOS.

4 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 5

did the best we could and will continue to improve the event each year. Finally, I’d like to thank Rip and Marsha Naquin-Delain for starting such a wonderful tradition and for all their contributions to Gay Mardi Gras. If not for them, there would be no King Cake Queen Coronation to write about. I know Mardi Gras was always a special time for Rip and Marsha and I know they were with us in spirit at the coronation and bead toss. Everything we do at Ambush continues to build upon the traditions and legacy of Rip and Marsha. And while I know Rip would have taken issue with my selection of this year’s King Cake Queen, I believe deep down he is still proud that the tradition continues. So to Rip

Naquin, Grand Reveler III, and Marsha Delain, King Cake Queen XV, I simply say Happy Mardi Gras! GAY EASTER PARADE Planning of the Gay Easter Parade is well under way and with this being the 20th anniversary we are hoping to have record crowds at the parade this year. As always, the parade will be Easter Sunday at 4:30 pm. Once again this year there will be a series of fundraisers leading up to Easter. The money raised will be used to pay for the parade with any surplus being donated to Food for Friends. Last year the Gay Easter Parade raised over $13,000 for Food for Friends. We are in the process of finalizing the dates, times and

locations of all of our fundraisers. If you’re interested in being a sponsor or want more information about riding in the parade you can go to GayEasterParade.com or send us an email at info@gayeasterparade.com MARK YOUR CALENDARS Come Out Mobile: A Night of Unity will take place on Saturday, April 13th from 6 to 11 pm at The Ezell House in Mobile, Alabama. The event will feature live entertainment, cocktails, dinner and a silent auction. The tickets are $85 per person or $750 for a table of 10 and all the proceeds will benefit Rainbow Mobile and Prism United both of which are non-profits. This is a

great way to help support the LGBTQ community in Mobile so make plans to attend. For more information you can search for the event on Facebook or email info@rainbowmobile.org. Flashback thru the Decades 3, a fundraiser for NOAGE, will be held on Sunday, April 28th from 6 to 8 pm at Allways Lounge & Cabaret. There is a $10 donation at the door and a 50/50 raffle will be held. Several entertainers will be there to take you thru the decades once again. NOAGE is a nonprofit that advocates on behalf of the LGBT older adult community. Allways Lounge & Cabaret is located at 2240 St. Claude Ave.

SNAP PAPARAZZI Out & About with Steamboat Club AT THEIR MARDI GRAS PARTY AT GRANDPRE’S BAR | PHOTOS COURTESY OF DWAIN HERTZ

6 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

SNAP PAPARAZZI Out & About with Pauly Cajun MARDI GRAS FRENCH QUARTER PICTURES | PHOTOGRAPHY BY GLENN PAUL MELANCON

www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 7

COMMUNITY VOICE

NOAGE and LSUHSC’s Community Survey of LGBT Adults Aged 45 and Older Jim Meadows Executive Director, NOAGE info@noagenola.org In my last column, I gave an update on what’s happening with NOAGE (New Orleans Advocates for GLBT Elders), and briefly mentioned our new community survey. I’d like to tell you more about it now. If you are 45 years old or older and identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, we would very much appreciate your taking the survey. You can access it online at www.surveymonkey.com/r/NOLASHINE. If you do not have internet access but would like to take the survey, give me a call at (504) 517-2345, and I will arrange for you to get a paper copy of it. We will also have paper copies available at various NOAGE events. So what is it? The New Orleans LGBT Social and Health Information Evaluation (NOLA SHINE) is a research survey about the social and health needs of LGBT persons who are aged 45 or older and live or work in the greater New Orleans area. Similar surveys have been conducted in several cities around the country, but as far as we know there has never been a survey of this kind in New Orleans. This survey is a joint effort by NOAGE and

LSU Health Sciences Center. The NOLA SHINE survey asks about your access to healthcare and health insurance, chronic health conditions, use of any kind of assistance for daily functioning, transportation needs, involvement with the LGBT community, experience with harassment or violence, and living situation. It also asks about the kinds of services you need or concerns you might have. Your answers will be combined with those from others who take the survey so that we can build a profile of the health and social needs of the LGBT population aged 45 and older in the New Orleans area. This information can help inform NOAGE, other nonprofit organizations, and local healthcare providers about the kinds of services we need to offer, and what kind of staff training is needed to better serve you. We will also be able to compare the responses in New Orleans to those from other cities and determine whether local LGBT social and health needs are the same as or different from elsewhere. In turn, we can see how other cities addressed similar concerns or issues.

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We will not ask your name, nor will we collect any information that could be used to identify you. You may decline to answer any question you wish, or decide not to finish the entire survey. However, we value your responses, and encourage your participation. We think it is vitally important to learn about the needs of our own community. The Institutional Review Board of the LSU Health Sciences Center in New Orleans has approved this survey. If you have questions about the survey, please contact me at info@noagenola. org or Dr. Edward Trapido at etrapi@ lsuhsc.edu. There have been two major national surveys of LGBT adults aged 45+ in recent years. One was published by SAGE (Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders, headquartered in New York), and the other was published by AARP. I’d like to share some of the key findings of those surveys with you The results of the SAGE survey, called “Out and Visible: The Experiences and Attitudes of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Older Adults, Ages 45-75,” were published in 2014. They found that LGBT older adults are more concerned than their straight and cisgender peers with personal finances, physical decline, remaining independent, loneliness, support systems, and physical attractiveness. The SAGE survey found that many LGBT older adults (40-43%) do not disclose their sexual orientation or gender identity to their doctors and other healthcare providers, usually out of fear of being judged or given inferior care. This reluctance to come out to providers can lead to serious health problems. For example, gay men and transwomen are at a higher risk of contracting HIV than other people. If a doctor is unaware that the patient is part of an at-risk population, they are unlikely to recommend HIV testing. This could be one of the reasons that when people over 50 do get HIV diagnoses, it tends to be later in the course of the illness, when more serious health complications become apparent. LGBT older adults in the SAGE survey also reported that they would not feel comfortable being out of the closet at a long-term care facility (e.g., a nursing home or assisted living facility). They worry that they will be mistreated by staff or bullied by their peers. While attitudes about LGBT people have changed a great deal in recent years, older straight and cisgender people tend to be more homophobic and transphobic than younger people. So, unfortunately, the fear of coming out in long-term care facilities may be justified in some instances.

For these reasons, it is imperative that organizations like NOAGE provide LGBT cultural competency trainings to as many long-term care facility staff as possible. Of course, the ideal solution would be to have retirement communities and nursing homes that are marketed specifically to LGBT older adults, but until that happens here in New Orleans, we need to ensure that the facilities that exist are safe for our elders. Another important finding of the SAGE survey was that LGBT older adults are more likely to live alone, to be childless, and to lack access to a caregiver. Think about it. You move from a small community to New Orleans so that you can live an authentic life. And it’s great while you are young and healthy. But things get more complicated as you age. If you don’t have family in town, who is going to take care of you? There isn’t the same social pressure on friends to serve as caregivers. This is a problem that we all need to be thinking about. And those of us who are able should be doing everything we can to help support aging members of our community. AARP’s survey of LGBT older adults, “Maintaining Dignity: Understanding and Responding to the Challenges Facing Older LGBT Americans,” was published last year. Many of its key findings were similar to SAGE’s. They also found that bisexual older adults are less likely to be out and are harder to reach than their lesbian, gay, and transgender peers, and that for LGBT people of color, “concern about discrimination due to their sexual orientation or gender identity is not disentangled from concern about discrimination due to their race or ethnicity.” We want to hear from you. If you are 45 or older and part of the LGBT community here, please visit www.surveymonkey.com/r/NOLASHINE and take our survey. Your participation will be very much appreciated, and will help us to do a better job of looking out for you in the future.

I’d love to hear from you. Do you have any ideas or suggestions for other services, events, or initiatives that you’d like NOAGE to provide for the community? You can always reach me at info@ noagenola.org. I also urge you to consider making an investment in your future by supporting NOAGE. www.noagenola.org/support

8 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

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www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 9

LITERARY SPOTLIGHT Christopher Castellani, St. Sukie de la Croix, and Kimberly Dark

Christopher Castellani The Saints and Sinners Literary Festival was founded in 2003 as a new initiative designed as an innovative way to reach the community with informa-

St. Sukie da la Croix tion about HIV/AIDS, particularly disseminating prevention messages via the writers, thinkers and spokes-people of the LGBT community. It was also

Kimberly Dark formed to bring the LGBT literary community together to celebrate the literary arts. The Festival has grown into an internationally-recognized event that brings together a who’s who of LGBT publishers and writers from throughout the United States and beyond. The Festival, held over 3 days each spring at the Hotel Monteleone in the French Quarter, features panel discussions and master classes around literary topics that provide a forum for authors, editors and publishers to talk about their work for the benefit of emerging writers and the enjoyment of fans of LGBT literature. The 16th annual Saints and Sinners Literary Festival takes place March 29-31. For more information, please visit http://sasfest.org/#home Three authors who will be at the 2019 Festival are Christopher Castellani, St. Sukie de la Croix, and Kimberly Dark. Christopher Castellani’s fourth novel, Leading Men, is about the relationship between Frank Merlo and Tennessee Williams (Viking). He is also the author of The Art of Perspective, a collection of essays on point of view in fiction. Christopher is the artistic director of GrubStreet, is a Guggenheim fellow, and is on the faculty of the MFA program at Warren Wilson College and the Bread Loaf Writers’ Conference. St. Sukie de la Croix is an internationally published journalist who has been working for the gay, and alternative, press since 1978. His books include Chicago Whispers: A LGBT History of Chicago Before Stone-

wall; Out of the Underground: Homosexuality, the Radical Press, and the Rise and Fall of the Gay Liberation Front; a novel, The Blue Spong and the Flight from Mediocrity; and The Memoir of a Groucho Marxist. He has also written two dance plays, A White Light in God’s Choir and Two Weeks in a Bus Station with an Iguana. In 2012, he was inducted into the Chicago LGBT Hall of Fame. Kimberly Dark is a writer, professor, and raconteur who has written award-winning plays, taught, and performed for a wide range of audiences in various countries over two decades. She is author of The Daddies, Love and Errors, and co-editor of the anthology Ways of Being in Teaching. Her essays appear in online publications, such as Everyday Feminism and Ravishly, and her poetry and prose are published in various literary and academic publications. Kimberly teaches Sociology and Women’s Studies at CSU, San Marcos and writing and theatre courses for Cal State Summer Arts. Enter the discount code: Ambush20 for a 20% discount on your registration.

The 16th annual Saints and Sinners Literary Festival takes place March 29—31. For more information, please visit http://sasfest.org/#home

10 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

MUSINGS BY CATHERINE Gateway to the Future: Resilience Catherine Roland catherineroland12@gmail.com Do you ever wonder what might be in store for you as life just plays along? I know I do, especially around my birthday. As we age (and we are all in the aging process), we learn there is no way to predict the future, not even the next minute in life. Sometimes we feel that we have no power to change life’s path, and feelings of powerlessness can emerge. We all have it inside of us, that frustration, or sadness or anger that manifests in feeling powerless or even hopeless. If the aging process seems overwhelming in any sense, on any day, we can create a gateway to the future in which we do have some control. There’s a deep fear of aging, of being old, that I see in people from all age groups. Younger adults between 25-35 feel that approaching the age of 40 will mean they ARE old; adults in their 40’s seem to dread the BIG 50; and beyond 50, the fear becomes more specific about loss, or what the deficits will be, what we will lose in skill, energy, attention, or any physical prowess. As we age, we may move toward isolation, or hesitate to connect with others outside of the family or workplace. That can actually create loneliness. I’ll share a recent example. A friend received an announcement that his 25th-year high school reunion was planned for this August. His first comment to me was that he would not attend because a reunion would have nothing to do with his life now. We both began some reflection time where he asked me to help him reframe, as friends will do, from an objective point of view. As I listened, I realized that my friend was looking at the deficits, in his perception, that might be observed by

people he had not seen in many years. Things like activities in which he had been very active in high school, like playing lacrosse, photography, booster sports rallies and general hanging out with friends, seemed to be in the distant past, framed in the way a 16 to 20-year-old might frame it. Combine that with the losses that we experience throughout life as we age and the occasional narrow view of what our lives might be as we reach an older age. It sounded like what I have named the Deficit Model of Aging. What is The Deficit Model of Aging anyway? If you feel that every year that passes, you are losing the ability to do or accomplish something, then you are subscribing to this. If you often find yourself lamenting that you can’t run five miles a day like you used to at 22, then you are choosing to see your natural developmental changes as a process that is taking away from you, or limiting your ability to do and be exactly as you used to be. Realistically that may be true in some areas, because we simply aren’t the way we were 1520 years ago. For some, that can be a profound and difficult acknowledgement, and a tangible loss. Please don’t read this as in any way belittling the passage of time, the losses, age, and life stage, and how devastating that can seem for us all. To reframe a concept is not to negate reality, but rather a strategy in which to invest and then cultivate something new. Sometimes just changing an attitude or an inner direction can make an enormous difference in how we negotiate the remainder of our lives, regardless of the age we begin the reframe. Try this multi-part suggestion, if you like:

Assess your life story to date, which can be done by yourself, in a friendly group (something like NOAGE’s CoffeeTalk), in therapy, or in any way that would make sense for you. For those of you who enjoy writing, journaling or even recording, that can be an effective way to assess your life story. Narrative discussion is effective as well – it all depends on you. The sharing of the story can be most helpful; the mode is your choice. The importance is great. When you have finished with the story to date (you will be finished when you feel you are), put it away and out of your mind for at least two days. During that time, take part in some activity that is enjoyable. Maybe that is work, friends and family gatherings, planning your next trip, getting your garden in shape or watching a favorite movie. Then discuss the story with the group you joined, the friend(s), or counselor. Say it out loud if you can. Step out of yourself. And listen as though you are the most objective person you can be in that instance. Resilience; if you are over the age for a 25-year high school reunion, then you are a survivor, and so much more. Read your own story and look for certain things, one at a time. One is resilience, so ask yourself “what have I been through that was difficult?” Go on to “what are my accomplishments as others might see them?” And finally, for this exercise, ask “who have I impacted, in any way, during my life so far?” This exercise relies on an honest interpretation of the things you have done, with no modesty allowed. Might as well sing your praises, you’ll see how good it feels. Write down the answers to these questions, and share those answers with the group, friend or therapist. Keep your copy of all of the things you write. Find some pride in your accomplishments, the difference you have made, and your successes at times that were challenging and even perhaps life-threatening. You survived

them. Lastly, remember those people or that person you were sharing with? Ask them, simply, “why are we doing this, and why have you decided to listen to me?” See what the response is; you will likely be pleasantly surprised at the support you receive. It’s from that support you can build the gateway to your future. All of us lead unique lives with varying career paths, relationships and challenges. These things are true of us through any age. I feel the resilience and reframing exercise, as well as personal introspection, can be done as we age, from young adulthood on. There are countless young adults I meet within my role as counselor in their 20’s and early 30’s who have serious doubts about their goals, direction in life, their self-esteem, and how they feel about relationships. While we can’t reverse the aging process, we can use our inner power of resilience and reframing for the next day, year and rest of our lives. If you can be objective about your life, and can garner hope that your strength will continue to reward you and impact those around you, the Deficit Model of Aging is no longer going to plague you. Consider the positives about getting older. As we age, most have more financial stability, are afforded more respect, more career power, and for lack of a better word, more wisdom than years before. We have successfully gotten through situations we did not anticipate, gaining the kind of experience and savvy that’s simply not available to younger adults. Embrace that inner grace we develop as we age, enjoy some of the ‘riches’ that can be available, having nothing to do with money or power. More, accept who you are, and where you are in your life stage. Your gateway to the future is open!

www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 11

THE ROCKFORD FILES

Filthy Whore SEEKS Hopeless Romantic Ryan Rockford RyanRockfordNYC@gmail.com As with any relationship, there are so many questions that two men have to answer and negotiate in a romance’s fledgling stage, that it can be make for a rocky start for anyone who isn’t prepared for the doors of communication to be blown open. Considering the times we live in one of the questions that many find uncomfortable (including myself) is, “Will your new relationship be ‘open’ or ‘monogamous’ or somewhere in between?” If you were to ask anyone who knows me why I’m single, most could probably whip out a Top Ten list faster than you can drop a bad habit. My friends, even those closest to me, tend to assume that because I’m single and have made my way around the block more than a few times that I enjoy sex too much to want a relationship. That simply isn’t true. I do want a relationship, I want one badly. As a single gay man, I’m free to engage in sex with whomever I want, when I want. But in contrast, when it comes to relationships, I am very traditional. People look at me like I’m crazy or gag on their cocktails when I tell them I want sexual exclusivity, a mo-

nogamous relationship with a man who loves me as much as I love him. “What?!?” is the typical response. I certainly feel in the minority with my ‘old school’ outlook. It seems every other guy I meet is in some sort of open relationship – whether their partner knows it or not. And finding someone in these modern times that is interested in old world views in New York seems impossible. New York is not about relationships. New York is about sex; you’re either having it, looking for it, or selling it. The reason this city never sleeps is because everyone is running around trying to get laid. Finding someone special enough for a ‘relationship’ is difficult, no matter where you live. But in New York it’s even harder. One reason why is that the population in New York is so transient. As a result, there’s a never-ending parade of delicious eye-candy, in every size, shape and color imaginable. The caveat being that this feast for the eyes starves the heart. It’s maddening. For many of those just moving to New York, experiencing so much visual stimulation becomes

too much to handle. Within days of arrival, many develop an acute case of Rubber-Neck Syndrome (RNS). RNS is a temporary condition caused by the excessive thrashing and twisting of the cervical spine, brought on by compulsive hyper-cruising every motherf*cker that walks down the street. Signs/ symptoms may include: The inability to hold a conversation; lack of commitment; loss of friendships; inability to keep one’s dick in their pants; prolonged erections; deterioration of dignity. Side effects: Whiplash; extreme shallowness; isolation; decreased job performance; blue balls; chafing, blisters and soreness from constant fellatio. Maybe it’s unfair for me to say that New York is not about relationships. It might be better to say that New York is not about the kind of relationship that I want and I’m saddened to think that it might not be possible. Technology has made sex easier than ever to find. Getting laid is very much like New York’s other favorite means of survival--ordering take-out. Open one of your favorite menus, whether it’s Chinese, Italian, Lithuanian, French, Middle-Eastern, Greek, whatever, and the choice is yours. Select your dish and have it delivered, usually in thirty minutes or less, 24/7, 365 days a year. New Yorkers don’t like relationships for the same reason they don’t like to cook– it’s too much work

especially with the relationship drama of a bitching boyfriend or cheating spouse. Is there any wonder why those of us who actually do want a relationship are fighting an uphill battle? With the odds stacked against us, maybe the reason men are willing to enter into thruples and other multi-amorous situations is the rationale that something is better than nothing. But is it really? Am I really that out of touch and antiquated to believe that what I want is still possible. Is it really that outlandish to admit that I want a man to call my own? A man I don’t have to share with random strangers? I want to belong to someone. I believe we all do, on some level. I believe that, all of us, deep down, want to be somebody’s ‘boo’, and his alone. I want a man I can keep all to myself. Is that crazy? Has the trade-off of finding someone to share your affections and dreams with come at the expense of self-respect and emotional integrity, all for the sake of variety? Studies suggest, nationwide, that gay men who are over forty and single will most likely remain that way. How exciting is that to look forward to? If the situation is bleak in small towns, where competition among older gays is presumably minimal, what are my chances of finding love in Gotham? I’ll give you a hint, rhymes with “gritty”.

12 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

SNAP PAPARAZZI Out & About with the Krewe of King Arthur PHOTOS FROM THE PARADE ROUTE | PHOTOGRAPHY BY G DOUGLAS ADAMS

www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 13

FROM SQUIRT.ORG #CensorshipSucks Andrew Nolan andrew@squirt.org

Tougher community guidelines on social media have resulted in deleted accounts for many and the ever increasing censorship is now impacting dating apps. Our digital safe-space is being eroded and censorship seems to be the go-to option for governments and companies around the world it feels like anything that’s a bit queer or a bit sexual is at the top of the hit-list. Here at Squirt.org, we love sex. We think that sex is a good thing, and that our bodies – whatever the shape, size, colour, or age – are beautiful and should be celebrated. We believe that there’s nothing wrong with getting your clothes off – that there’s no shame attached to nakedness. Obviously, not everyone feels the same way. Differences of opinion about sexual expression aren’t a new thing, but there appears to be a growing shift to a more socially conservative outlook on the world. Obviously, if you own the platform – if you’re someone like Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, or YouTube – then you get to decide what content you’re going to allow your users to publish. We might not like the decisions they make, or the way they go about it, but they get to make the rules. However, censorship impacts us all, and it can often be in quite unexpected ways. Hook-up apps are being forced to introduce new guidelines for user profile photos. The new guidelines specified that “photos in underwear, jockstraps or bikini style bathing suits are no longer permitted in profile photos.” Given that these are gay hookup apps, on the face of it that seems like an odd move. But, they have been

backed into a corner. They rely on app stores to distribute their service to users, and app stores are becoming increasingly cautious and conservative when it comes to anything that might be considered adult-oriented. From a Squirt.org perspective, we don’t rely on app stores to connect with our members, so we’ve been fortunate to dodge that particular bullet. However, we’re acutely aware that censorship of adult and sex-positive content is only increasing. We can’t be complacent. The rising tide of censorship and online regulation could soon put us all out of business, making it no longer feasible for us to provide the types of services and content that our members value – services and content that also play an important role in our community. So, we want to take a stand. We want to send a message. We can’t stay silent in the face of increasing censorship. We’ve launched out #CensorshipSucks campaign to allow people to have their voices heard. Support for the #CensorshipSucks campaign “A society that is comfortable with every detail of violence being broadcast on every channel but not comfortable with the broadcasting of examples of the love, lust, compassion, caring, and sexual freedom the porn industry portrays, is a society that seriously needs to reconsider their viewing priorities”. - Jack Andy (@jackandyxxx) “I think censorship limits creativity and self-expression. This concept of safety by hiding sexuality of nudity never really did anything to help human trafficking nor folks being raped or abused. Some of my friends think nu-

Jack Andy (Image Courtesy of Andrew Nolan) dity is dangerous. We have to stop the bad connotation associated with the human body and what we do with it.” River Wilson (@riverwilsonxxx) “The whole point about the internet is the freedom to post or create media without censorship. A world with online censorship brings us back to the 1980s. Being a Model and Director in Gay Porn, I think it’s crazy since many men like to and do express themselves in a sexual and more natural manner. People shouldn’t be censored on what they want to express sexually. Even censoring nude photography is a big shame as that’s art, art of the male form. We are now in 2019, censoring things online is quite ridiculous and a step backwards as it’s nothing new and

nothing to be ashamed of – people and companies have been doing this a long time.” - DICE (@DiceInPDXXX) “When it comes to the increasing of online censorship, I feel as though that it is Prehistoric. We are living in a time and age where everything is more advanced. For me personally, I think it is a double-edged sword because there are many things in this world that aren’t censored. Take for instance, various paintings and statues. Those are considered national treasures; however, still showing full on nudity for all to see. The body is an art form, it shows the beauty and uniqueness in all of us. It is a sign of self-confidence. Others can say it’s too much or vulgar, but that just a closed-minded perception of how to think.” - Tigger Redd (@Tigger_ReddXXX) About Squirt.Org: Where men meet other men for sex, fun, and friendship – this is the foundation for Squirt. org, a website established in 1999 and operated by Pink Triangle Press. True to its tagline, “Hot ‘n horny hookups,” Squirt.org is a completely uncensored hookup/cruising site for gay, bi, and curious men who want to skip the pretense of dating and get right to the sex. Consisting entirely of user-generated content, the site is continually growing to provide men around the world a way to meet. Squirt.org is available on mobile, desktop, and tablet platforms through any web browser without the need of downloading any apps. All are welcome in the Squirt.org sex-positive community independent of weight, age, or race, which equates to a great chance at getting laid. For more information, visit www.Squirt.org.

14 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 15

INTERVIEWS FROM KEY WEST

Art 101: Contemporary Works and Relationship Quirks Kevin Assam kevin-assam@hotmail.com Frame trends! Offerings to the gods! And Sex and the City! This interview explores the world of contemporary art and contemporary relationship woes. Brandie Sager is the Director of Effusion Gallery Key West — a glorious wave of present day pop art and a rich tropical art deco downtown vibe. In addition, she’s a total babe capable of maneuvering the pitfalls of life. Thus making her this week’s perfect subject. Q: What does it mean if art is on consignment and why does that sound cheap? Brandie: Art on consignment means there is no exchange of money between the gallery and artist until an artwork is sold. The pieces are basically on loan from the artist with the intention for the gallery to sell it. It only sounds cheap if you aren’t ‘in the know’ as most artists who offer consignment have a strong market value and confidence that their works will sell. Not at all the same as a consignment shop where you sell clothes you don’t want anymore. Q: I’m looking for a striking piece to hang above my bed and look at while making love. Are there

any up and coming artists whose pieces you would recommend? Brandie: First of all, focus on your lover whilst making love or look in a mirror like the rest of us. But if you want erotic art — the place to look is actually Instagram. Just don’t do a search for #eroticart Q: How would you advise lovers of contemporary art to best study it given its continually evolving nature often in real time? Brandie: I think you just have to be in it. Because it’s constantly evolving — you just have to passionately be in it and explore. Go to gallery events and larger shows. But also [explore] social media. Artsy.net is a great resource and their articles are super informative. Q: Is Charlotte from Sex and the City someone I should model my art gallery profession after? Brandie: Nah. No offense to Charlotte, but no. That would be about as successful as modeling your writing career after Carrie — not successful at all in real life. Charlotte gave up her career after getting married. So if your end goal is to be a kept human — go

for it. Q: What’s the current trend with frames? Are we moving toward or away from more ornate options? Brandie: Away! Simple floating frames are in. Let the artwork speak for itself. Think clean lines, always. Q: My ex-partner has gone on to be tremendously successful in the art community. I feel that I inspired some of his most lucrative pieces when we were together. How can I claim my fair share creatively and monetarily? Brandie: You could be very ‘Murican and try to sue. Instead I recommend taking your amazing muse talents to a more deserving person who will cherish your gift and reward you financially and emotionally. Q: What’s the best strategy to get myself invited to that fancy exhibition or opening that my good for nothing ex will be attending? I have zero affiliation to the place. Brandie: Call the gallery directly and tell them you’re interested in the works and are looking to add to your collection. Q: I’m making an offering to the gods on Saint Patrick’s Day for success and well-being. Who’s a fun contemporary artist I should look at? Brandie: For success and well-being look to Nelson de la Nuez. All the luxury and cash money vibes will flow to you and make you smile at the same time. Q: I just moved into my own office at work and have a decorating allowance. I enjoy highly provocative and sometimes erotic pieces of art. My clients already know my style and don’t seem to mind. Should I suppress my personal tastes for the sake of co-workers? Brandie: That’s a good one. My heart wants to tell you erotic art all the way if that’s what makes you happy. However, I think toning down the provocative [display] is the prudent choice. Or find something with hidden

Brady Sager, Director of Effusion Gallery

meaning or imagery! It might be even more enjoyable knowing what it really is while the rabble is left unaware. Q: An artist steeply discounts his work because of his love for my bubble butt. The problem is that I’m a lesbian. I do enjoy his art and ﬂexibility with pricing but am wary of leading him on. Help! Brandie: Let him know your sexual preference but maintain the friendship. If he wants to discount his art for you let him. Hello — momma got bills to pay and art is an investment! Kevin Assam is an average writer and hilarious interviewer originally from the Caribbean. He can be best described as a forty year old imaginative mind trapped in a pint sized twenty something year old body. His upcoming book is a collection of outrageous things overheard in Key West.

16 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · Official Southern Decadence Guide™ · www.SouthernDecadence.com

SNAP PAPARAZZI Crossing PEOPLE ARE CROSSING NOLA TO SEE AND BE SEEN AT CROSSING NOLA | PHOTOS BY TEAM CROSSING

CROSSING

Neighborhood video bar with a steampunk theme in the historic Vieux Carré.

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 7 AM – 9 PM OPENING HOURS 7 AM – 1:30 AM ADDRESS 439 Dauphine Street New Orleans, LA 70112 Phone: (504) 523-4517 www.GayMardiGras.com · www.GayEasterParade.com · March 12 – 25, 2019 · The Official Gay Magazine of the Gulf South™: www.AmbushMag.com · 17