Leading Hearts September/October 2014 issue by Leading Hearts Magazine

LEADINGHEARTS.COM

LEADING HEARTS FOR CHRISTIAN WOMEN

SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2014 VOL. 1, ISSUE 4

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING ANGRY?

WHO IS THE ‘YOU’ GOD’S ORDAINED YOU TO BE?

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH SCOTT STAPP

FINDING YOUR PASSION, PURSUING GOD’S CALL

‘‘

Three very different women. One dangerous journey.

And a future that seems just out of reach.

As season turns to season, suspicion turns to friend-

ship, and fear turns to courage, three spirited women will discover what it means to be truly free in a land that makes promises it cannot fulfill. This multilayered story from bestselling author Jane Kirkpatrick will grip your heart and mind as you travel on the dusty and dangerous Oregon Trail into the boundless American West. Based on a true story.

AVAILABLE WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD ALSO AVAILABLE IN e BOOK FORMAT

While many respond negatively to the thought of exercising, dieting, and changing their lifestyle, Dr. Furman has managed to take what is threatening and

‘‘ ‘‘

MAKE IT THRILLING.

When you finish this read, you will actually be excited about the possibility of a

LONGER, HEALTHIER LIFE.

—from the foreword by DR. DAVID JEREMIAH

AVAILABLE WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD ALSO AVAILABLE IN e BOOK FORMAT

“IN LES MISÉRABLES, THE

INSPIRING NOVEL BY VICTOR HUGO OFT PERFORMED ON BROADWAY AND THE SILVER SCREEN, JEAN VALJEAN, IS CAUGHT AND SENTENCED TO NINETEEN YEARS IN PRISON FOR STEALING A LOAF OF BREAD TO FEED HIS SISTER’S HUNGRY CHILDREN. His release came with impos-

“

sible curfews and check-in points and continuous mistreatments. One night, Jean knocked at the door of the Bishop of Digne’s home. The bishop took pity on him and gave him food and shelter for the evening. However, after the household went to bed, Jean robbed the bishop of his silver. The next morning, Jean was caught and thrown at the bishop’s feet. The bishop had the power to send Valjean back to prison, but instead he handed Jean Valjean the silver candlesticks from his own table and said, “Would you leave the best behind?” The bishop’s grace and generosity had an amazing effect on Jean Valjean’s future. No longer was Valjean a slave to the law, but a man who multiplied the grace he had so freely received. This is silver candlestick living. It’s when we live focused on pouring out the abundance of the grace that we ourselves have been given. We are those who were redeemed by Jesus, God’s only Son. Jesus paid the penalty for our sins through his own suffering and death on the cross. He, the resurrected Lord, gave us his love and grace freely so we can lavish it on others.

FROM THE PUBLISHER “THIS MEANS WE ARE RICH

ENOUGH TO SPEND OUR LOVE, TIME, EFFORTS ON THINGS OF ETERNAL VALUE; FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND LOVED ONES IN CHRIST, NOT TO MENTION THE POOR, BURDENED, AND HEARTBROKEN AND THOSE WHO NEED CHRIST.“ We can afford to give ourselves to silver candlestick living because we have been given so much. As we press into our abundance and give what we’ve received, God miraculously and abundantly replenishes our rich supply and graces our lives with joy. So let your light so shine on top of your silver candlesticks to fire the passion in others to seek out the same grace you have been given.S With love,

LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD PUBLISHER, LEADING HEARTS MAGAZINE

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{3.}

EMPOWERING CHRISTIAN WOMEN FOR LEADERSHIP

LEADING HEARTS SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2014 VOL. 1, ISSUE 4

EDITORIAL STAFF PUBLISHER....................Linda Evans Shepherd EDITOR........................Amber Weigand-Buckley ART DIRECTOR...............Katie Mattiuzzo ADVERTISING................ Linda Evans Shepherd, Angelina Locricchio COPY EDITOR...............Amber Weigand-Buckley EDITORIAL SECRETARY.....Angelina Locricchio CONTRIBUTING WRITERS................................................... Shelly Ballestero, Angela Breidenbach, Rebekah Binkley Montgomery, Penelope Carlevato, Kathy Collard Miller, Michelle Cox, Saundra Dalton-Smith, Sharon Norris Elliott, Dr. Edna Ellison, Pam Farrel, Katie Mattiuzzo, Marilyn Luce Robertson, Rhonda Rhea, Heather Riggleman, Lisa Troyer, Karen H. Whiting and Heather Van Allen

RIGHT TO THE HEART BOARD MEMBERS Linda Evans Shepherd (President), Dianne Butts, Sharon Norris Elliot, Dr. Edna Ellison, Karen Porter, Kathy Collard Miller, Rhonda Rhea and Carole Whang Schutter and Joy A. Schneider

INFORMATION Leading Hearts magazine is published bimonthly by Right to the Heart Ministries 2014. ADVERTISING | Display rates are available at leadinghearts.com. By accepting an advertisement, Leading Hearts does not endorse any advertiser or product. We reserve the right to reject advertisements not consistent with the magazines objectives. MANUSCRIPTS | Writers guidelines are available at leadinghearts.com. Leading Hearts | PO Box 6421, Longmont, CO 80501 phone: (303) 835-8473 | fax: (303)678-0260 email: amber@leadinghearts.com MEMBER | Evangelical Press Association All rights reserved. Copyrighted material reprinted with permission Photos courtesy of: Dollar Photo Club, Centricity Records, Deanna Sammons Photography, Gotee Records, Jesus Culture, Kerry Kara Photography /KLS Photos & Imaging, Heather Riggleman, Thomas Nelson, Lisa Troyer, Revell, Wind-Up Records, Word Entertainment and Zondervan.

TABLE OF CONTENTS 08 REDEEMED 16 PICKPOCKETING & OTHER DISTRACTIONS 18 BEHIND THE SCENES WITH SCOTT STAPP 24 ONE CHICKEN TO RUIN THEM ALL

11 FAITHPRINTS

13 CHECK MATE 15 IN THE SPOT

16 PRAYER CIRCLE

32 WHO IS THE ‘YOU’ THAT GOD’S ORDAINED

21 JUST 18 SUMMERS

36 WHY DO I KEEP GETTING ANGRY?

31 BELLY LAUGHS

YOU TO BE?

22 IN THE LEAD

26 HEALTH TRACKS 28 LIFEBYTES 38 REVIEWS 42 TRUTH

“HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INVOLVED

IN AN AUTO ACCIDENT WITH A STATIONARY OBJECT OR LAUGHED AT SOMEONE WHO HAS? I have to admit the first time it happened

“

to me it was pretty funny. Of course, I wasn’t the one driving.

I was cruising with my best friend Tabatha on the way to our half-time performance at a football game. As she backed her parents’ giant station wagon out of our parking space at the local food shop, a light pole came out of nowhere ... and held on. Tabby was bawling as she revved the engine to remove the side of the car from the pole. Separating from the post took so long a crowd began to gather. I could have sworn I saw people ripping out lawn chairs from their pickups and scarfing down popcorn. Finally freed, we noticed a huge hole ripped into the side panel. We spent the whole game worrying that the real collision would happen once Tab got home and her mom and dad got a gander at the new trunk access point. However, we all ended up having a good laugh recounting the hilarity of the day. Fifteen years later, it was my turn behind the wheel. For the first time in my life I was “victimized” by one of those menacing yellow concrete poles directing the traffic flow in Wal-Mart parking lots. I was so embarrassed. I might as well have been wearing a sign: “If you didn’t notice by the huge dent and paint scuffs on my van, I can’t navigate around yellow poles.” My embarrassment soon brewed into obsession. I knew the whole world was looking at that dent. Suddenly, my mind raced each time I pulled into a parking space — I bet that guy didn’t park next to me because he’s thinking, Man she has a huge dent in her car. Better park somewhere else so my car doesn’t depreciate faster. Everybody’s looking at my dents!

FROM THE EDITOR But even while laughing at the other guys for being so dysfunctional, we still find ourselves stalled out, incapable of moving forward in the call God has planted in our lives. In fact, some of those mistakes leave a much more heinous imprint than a dent in the car. Whether it is from choices or life’s unexpected circumstances some Christians feel totaled out — you’ll be good if you can just get from point A to point B without detouring off the heavenly path. Perhaps you feel your life is a mistake, or you’ve resigned yourself to life of insignificance. This issue of Leading Hearts is dedicated to helping refire your passion and totally embrace the calling God has for your life. And He doesn’t want anything holding you back. Know that He has something in store for your future that is beyond what you can even think or imagine, if you will only step forward in the promise penned in Jeremiah: “For I know the plans I have for you. … plans to give you hope and a future” (29:11, NIV). If we had the mind of the Creator — knowing all that might be and that we are human and capable of all things despicable — how could He ever make such a lofty affirmation? It’s not about what we do to raise the bar in our lives. It’s all because He steps into the driver’s seat — and a sweet ride awaits. So start your engines! S

It seems we are such a voyeuristic society. If it’s not enough to just obsess about our own junk, we have to turn on the Peace! tube and watch that lady on “Maury” throw a chair at her AMBER WEIGAND-BUCKLEY skinhead-by-day and cross-dressing biker-babe by night EDITOR, LEADING HEARTS MAGAZINE cheating boyfriend. I guess it makes us feel a little bit better about our own issues. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{7.}

REDEEMED BY HEATHER RIGGLEMAN

{8.}-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

”IF

YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME TEN YEARS AGO THAT I WOULD BE GOING ON MISSIONS TRIPS TO THE PHILIPPINES OR CHINA, TRAVELING ALL OVER THE U.S. AS A SPEAKER AND WRITER, I WOULD’VE LAUGHED IN YOUR FACE AND ASKED YOU TO GET YOUR HEAD CHECKED.

”

But that’s what I do because of the redemptive power of God’s love for all of us—even a messy person like me. Because I know what it’s like to believe the lies of being worthless and broken. I love to see a woman’s eyes light up when she finally gets it that God loves her. What happens when a woman is opened to the power of God working in her life? She embraces her ability to mold and shape the future—touching generations for Christ. This is my passion.

past of growing up in a violent alcoholic home and years of hiding the secret that my cousin was molesting me. I can remember being as a young as five and thinking, Families don’t live like this, as I began to hide behind the mask of poise, not wanting anyone to know what was happening. It served me well until my friends turned in my journal which recorded accounts of what my cousin had done. and school officials got involved Shortly after that, we moved from Arizona to my uncle’s ranch on the Wyoming – South Dakota border where my family became the poster child for welfare. I tried to be like the other girls in school, hiding the pain of feeling broken, unwanted and used. I helped my mom raise my five siblings while she moved us into town—working full-time and going to school full-time. And that’s when I met the love of my life and fell head over heels. I met Chris in Home Ec. class. We flirted for a year until he finally asked me out on a date. Two short years later, I sat on my bunk bed trying to get the nerve to call him—I had just learned I was pregnant.

As a writer and speaker, I’m nicknamed “The Real Mom” because my heart is to boldly take women by the hands and lead them to the home their hearts have ached for—a place where God fits the messy moments and broken pieces of their lives perfectly together through His amazing grace. I remember the day, ten years ago, when I decided to end my life. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I thought God was an idea to help ease the reality of life. As the doctors fought the cocktail of drugs and alcohol that were shutting down my system, God showed up in the emergency room with the words, “Heather you are not done here, I have plans for you.” In that moment an overwhelming sense of peace and hope flooded my heart and I was never the same. After being released from the hospital, I went straight to the tattoo shop to have a royal purple butterfly tattooed to my ankle. I remember gritting my teeth as purple ink swirled with my blood. It constantly reminds ßme that every part of me belongs to Jesus. Every drop of blood, every tear, dream, hope, and fear belongs to Christ, too.

“IT WAS A REMINDER GOD COULD

It was crazy. Within five months, I graduated high school, moved across state lines, moved in with Chris, got married and gave birth to a 9-pound baby girl. After Chris graduated college, we moved to Kearney Nebraska. Everyone kept telling me how my life was over, but I thought, if my mom can graduate from nursing school with six kids, why can’t I? Wanting to prove everyone wrong, I dug in, trying to be a mommy and wife while going to school full-time and

TAKE THE BIGGEST MESSES AND CREATE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL OUT OF IT - continued IS WHAT HE - - - - - AND -God - - -then - -THAT -began - - - -to - -restore - - - - my - - -life - -and - DID. - -help - - -“ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -{9.} me face the --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

working full-time until I hit a breaking point. I went to lunch with a co-worker and he assaulted me. The assault brought up my past, my father and what my cousin had done. I didn’t know how to handle it except to party all night long. When the pain was too intense to deal with, I cut my arms.

Today I am still the wife to my high school sweetheart, Chris, who is also now serving Christ. We now have Elijah and Tori Grace in our little family.

One night I was arrested and taken into the hospital. The doctor came in began to prepare my arms for stitches. Instead of sewing my wounds closed properly she put one stitch in each and stated, “You aren’t worth my time or expertise,” before leaving the room. Life spiraled out of control and I didn’t feel worthy of being a mom or wife, so I decided to end it which is the day God showed up. As I began to grow deeper in my faith, women started hearing my story and asked me to share it in their small groups, churches, and MOPS groups . That’s when I got the word “Redeemed” scrolled across my left wrist—it’s a great way to share my story when women ask about my scars.

“WHAT I LOVE ABOUT WOMEN IS THEIR HEARTS, HOW WE CONNECT AND SHARE EACH OTHER’S DREAMS.“ After that I began to share my journey on my blog— Falling to Peace(s): Thoughts on Grace, Letting Go, and Imperfection. What’s even more amazing is how God used my Bible study group to encourage me to blog and found my ministry. They collected funds to send me to my first writer’s conference where my first book Mama Needs A Time Out was conceived.

I’ve been honored to found and launch an online women’s magazine before beginning my writing / speaking ministry focused on teen pregnancy. Right now I’m in the process of creating a teen mom website filled with resources, information, and support for both mom and those who are support her like mentors, teachers, small groups and family members.

By day, I’m an everyday mom dealing with boy farts to the face and by night I blog, write, and prepare to speak to women’s hearts—opening their eyes to just how much God loves them. And every once in a while I still have to pinch myself... because I know no matter how amazed I am at how far God has taken me, He’s still not finished with me yet.S --------“Real moms, real life, real faith, real grace.” HEATHER RIGGLEMAN: Author –Speaker–Grace Dweller is known as “The Real Mom” Heather boldly takes women by the hand and leads them to the place their hearts have longed for—where God cherry picks the messy pieces of their lives and fits them perfectly together. When she isn’t sharing about her tattoos and scars, she’s a frequent contributor to Today’s Christian Woman, Proverbs 31 and Hello Darling. She is also a MOM MENTOR and Speaker for The Mom Initiative and Moms Together. Heather can be found hanging out with her husband and three kids in Kearney, Nebraska. Cheyenne is 15, Elijah 8, and Tori Grace is 6. Heather is the author of Mama Needs a Time Out and you can download a FREE copy of her latest ebook, Let’s Talk About Prayer on her blog, HeatherRiggleman.com

I’m praying my second book for teen moms, Detour: Surviving (and Loving) Life as a Teen Mom, gets into mom’s hands all across the nation. I want these young moms to get the emotional support and encouragement they need. {10.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

FAITHPRINTS

A CODE OF HONOR BY REBEKAH MONTGOMERY

“IT WAS A MISTAKE. I KNEW IT THEN; I ADMIT IT NOW.“

I was in Atlanta attending a conference where I didn’t know hardly anyone. Lonely, I decided to telephone an old friend living there. He came down to my hotel, picked me up, and you can guess what happened next: He fed me barbecue. We talked over old times. Laughed a lot. Then he dropped me back at my hotel about 9:30. No romance. No attraction. Not even a peck on the cheek. But it was wrong, not because I am a married woman—my husband knew and approved the dinner—but because I am called to be a Bible teacher. The Scriptures are clear: God Himself holds those who teach the Word to higher standard. By the way, so do the world and our students. (James 3:1) For this reason as well as others, I take the privilege of teaching the Word very seriously. Because of this, I have adopted a Code of Honor for my ministry and I want to share the condensed version with you.

As I learn, either by instruction or from a mistake, I amend it. But I share it with you now, and perhaps it will serve to help you shape a Code of Honor for your ministry, too.

A WOMEN’S MINISTRY CODE OF HONOR

1. When I quote Scripture in a teaching, I will look it

up in context to be certain that I am not twisting it to make my point. I will try to memorize the passage so I quote it correctly. 2. I will make sure that any teaching showcases Jesus and His truth, not me or my pet subject. 3. When I speak, I will not tell anecdotes about my children or husband without their permission. 4. When I am a guest at a church, I will not publicly dispute doctrinal issues with which I disagree. I will conform to their social and religious customs provided they do not disagree with my basic faith tenets. 5. I will dress modestly in public at all times. 6. When I am teaching the Word, I will dress in such as way as to not call undue attention to myself or be distracting. 7. I will not be alone or meet privately with a member

This is some guidelines I’ve established for myself out of my convictions, not meaning to restrict but protect the Lord’s reputation, my reputation and those who are - continued -- -- -- -- -- new -- -- -- --believers -- -- -- -- -- --or-- --seekers -- -- -- -- --from -- -- -- --being -- -- -- --lead -- -- --astray. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{11.} -

FAITHPRINTS of the opposite sex who is not a close family member. If I do have a meeting, it will be in a public place or with someone else present. 8. I will not pray with or privately counsel a member of the opposite sex who is not a close relative. I will leave the door open and plan for someone to be in an adjacent room. 9. I will not flirt in any way with a member of the opposite sex. (Except my hubby, and then watch the sparks!) 10. I absolutely will not discuss anything of a private sexual nature with a member of the opposite sex. I will not laugh at suggestive stories or jokes. 11. I will love and treat others as I wish to be treated, considering everyone as beloved by God regardless of their sexual orientation, social status, race, religion, criminal record, addiction, or lifestyle. 12. I am a servant, not a master. I wash feet, not stand on a pedestal. 13. I will not take money to pray for or with someone. Since I am not a trained counselor, I will not take money to counsel someone. 14. What someone tells me in confidence remains private unless he/she has committed a crime that by law I have to report. 15. I will not pretend to be perfect. But neither will I strip down to my emotional underwear for the purpose of attention.

16. I will be transparent and accountable. When I’m

wrong or hurt, I’ll admit it. If I make a public mistake, I’ll admit it publicly. 17. I will be quick to apologize. I will seek restoration. 18. I will be scrupulously honest in any area that deals with money. I will take a loss rather than allow any suspicion of financial mishandling. 19. I will avoid personal habits (use of alcohol, smoking, gambling, etc.) that might cause others to sin. 20. I do not publicly discuss my own political views, but if someone asks privately, I will share my opinion. 21. Whether I am in public or private, I will be aware that I am a representative of Christ, and because He has entrusted me to teach His Word, my actions have greater repercussions. S --------REBEKAH BINKLEY MONTGOMERY is author of Faithprints. Find her online at www.rebekahmontgomery.com

CHECKMATE

A SOFTER TOUCH BY PAM FARREL

“WE HAVE A SECRET FOR YOU.“ One your husband may not even be able to verbalizeyou may be the only person he feels truly safe with. He has feelings too! Emotionally, guys guard themselves. For many a man, it is only his wife that he will completely open up with to and share the deepest hopes, fears, frustrations, pains and stresses. When you are an expressive wife, you touch him in a way that he won’t feel so alone. Genesis 2:18 notes, “It is not good that the man should be alone” (NIV). The term alone means to be isolated, curtained off, or in prolonged solitude. God made a wife so that man would not have to be facing life alone.

“AS YOU EXPRESS YOUR LOVE TO

YOUR MAN, YOU CREATE A SECRET SAFE HOUSE FOR YOUR HUSBAND— AND HE WILL LEARN TO BE VERBALLY EXPRESSIVE TOWARD YOU. “

In Red Hot Romance Tips for Women, I share several ideas from leading relationship specialists on how they become a softer toward each other:

TOUCH OF EMPATHY

Les and Leslie Parrot, in Trading Places recommend a simple empathy process: I notice you I feel with you, and so I act to help you.

TOUCH OF REMINDER Create an honor journal to help you keep a soft heart toward your husband. Dr Gary Smalley explains why he keeps an honor journal: “If you want to create a safe environment that encourages healthy relationships to grow, then start by honoring those around you. Picture those individuals as people autographed by God. Imagine giving those people a standing ovation. Another practical way to recognize value a person is to keep a list of all the good qualities of that person. I keep several such lists in what I call my Honor Journal. If I feel frustrated, I read the Honor list rather than read them the riot act. That way I can see them as

If you were in the witness protection program, the legal authorizes would lodge you in a safe house to ensure your ability to communicate vital truths at an appropriate time. In the same way, empathy, and an expressive caring heart can become a safe house for your husband. - continued -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{13.} -

CHECKMATE God sees them, and my perspective changes.”

TOUCH HIM

A man wants his body touched—but he also wants his heart, mind and life touched by your care and kindness.

Touch His Love: If you want to get a man to open up, to share what is really going on inside his mind and soul; you have to love what he loves.

“A MAN IS MUCH MORE LIKELY TO OPEN UP IS YOU ‘EXPERIENCE LIFE’ WITH HIM, SIDE BY SIDE, DOING WHAT HE LOVES.“ Dr William Harley in His Needs, Her Needs explains that the number two most pervasive need for a husband is recreational companionship. In Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, we explain that when guys are stressed, they like to go to their “favorite easy boxes” to rest and recharge. (God kind of helped us girls recognize these recharger boxes as most of them are shaped like boxes: the TV, the garage, the football field, baseball diamond, basketball, court, the refrigerator and the bed.) What would your husband say is his favorite box he likes to go to when he is all stressed out?

he will cherish you for being his best friend, his confidant, and at times, his counselor. To help me, I created a SOFTER listening method:

Stop what you are doing and turn toward him. Open up your body language Find key words, or a key phrase to repeat. Try not to take it personally Express affirming emotions Respond with loving action Take time to listen, to review his wonderful qualities in your Honor Journal, and then reach out and touch him. Be SOFTER and it will feel as if you on a stethoscope to listen beyond the words and hear your man’s heart. Which touch does your man need today? S --------PAM FARREL is an international speaker, author of 40 books, and co-director of www.Love-Wise.com

Touch His Body: You can open him up emotionally if you touch him physically. We tell couples, “If you give a man your body, he will give you his heart. If you give a woman your heart, she’ll give you her body.” Dr. Gary and Barbara Roseburg suggest sex helps men process life better, “ . . .men often solve problems when they have sex with their wives.” Sex does lowers his stress, but even small physical gestures will lower his stress, and often entice him to open up and share verbally what is going on in his world.

Even a six second hug makes the receiver feel happier, braver and less fearful When we feel emotionally close oxytocin is released, “Oxytocin helps ease our fears and increase our trust levels” Dr David Schnarch, in his work, Passionate Marriage, encourages couples to “hug until relaxed”. Bill and I have used this “hug until we melt” our entire marriage. You might not be able to “fix” anything, but a great hug releases those endorphins and often, the creative juices too—and God might use the process to help a solution to become more apparent.

Touch His Heart: Listen to him. Really. Listen. To.

Him. This takes time, but it will be well worth it because {14.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

IN THE SPOT

SHOW, DON’T TELL BY KATHY COLLARD MILLER

“THE CONCEPT ‘SHOW, DON’T

“Darcy!” I yelled. “I’ve told you three times today, don’t play in the fireplace!”

TELL’ IS ESSENTIAL FOR POWERFUL WRITING AND SPEAKING WHEN YOU’RE SHARING A STORY. I use

Anger boiled within me. I didn’t need another mess to clean up with company coming that evening. I yanked her up by her arm, and began hitting her bottom and legs. “Why do you keep disobeying me?” I shrieked as my hand slapped against her skin again and again.

“

the acrostic “DEA” to remind me what “showing” means: D: dialogue and detail E: emotion A: action

Instead of writing, “Tony said he was angry” write: “Tony slammed the slim, tan-colored phone down and screamed, ‘I can’t believe she did that!’” Instead of writing, “I was afraid” write: “My throat felt dry. ‘What am I doing here?’ I wondered, as I rubbed my sweat-soaked hands on my jeans.” I used this concept when writing the opening of my personal experience story. Instead of writing, “I was a child abuser,” I wrote:

Then Darcy’s hysterical screaming brought me back to reason. I sank to the floor and pleaded, “Oh God, I did it again! I promised I would control myself. What happened?” (Yes, God did deliver me from being a child abuser!) As you use the “DEA” concepts, you will write and speak more powerfully. S --------Read Kathy’s article on Anger on p. 36 of this issue. Excerpted from The Complete Guide to Writing Professionally by Kathy Collard Miller, Copyright 2002, by Jubilant Press.

I walked into our living room and saw my two-year-old daughter sitting at the fireplace sifting ashes through her fingers. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{15.} -

PRAYER CIRCLE

PICKPOCKETING & OTHER DISTRACTIONS BY LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD

{16.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“WE ALL HAVE DISTRACTIONS

AND MANY OF MINE OFTEN KEEP ME FROM GETTING ALONG WITH MY DEADLINES INCLUDING MY WRITING PROJECTS. However, the best

“

lesson I’ve learned about distractions happened one sunny December day in New York City. My friend Eva Marie Everson and I were in town to do on-location-research for one of our Potluck Club novels. We were ready for a day of exploring. I prepared my huge, blue tote bag stuffed with everything I might need; an umbrella, my coat, snacks and bottles of water piled high on top of my wallet. Eva and I caught the subway from our hotel so that we could walk down Canal Street to take in the sights. We browsed through the faux designer purses and fingered the bright wool scarves and smirked at the fake Rolexes on display. As we strolled, we were caught in a throng of tourists who flowed down the street like a slow moving river. As I walked along gawking at the sights around me, a pretty, young woman appeared beside me. She turned to face me and with her arms opened wide, she sideskipped to my steps as if she was trying to block me from turning right and walking past her. What in the world is she doing? I wondered. I craned my neck for a better look and she seemed to disappear. Where’d she go? Suddenly I snapped my head to the left, and there she was, her arm rammed deep into my tote bag as her fingers groped for my pocket book. I instinctively jerked my tote away from her and instantly she disappeared into the crowd. It seemed I’d been preyed upon, unsuccessfully, by a New York City pickpocket. But what struck me about the experience was the pickpocket’s maneuver to distract me—to cause me to not only take my attention away from my tote, but to place my focus in the opposite direction so that she would be free to snatch my wallet, something I’d wanted to hang onto throughout my New York adventure. As I thought about it, I could see that distraction is exactly how the enemy tries to steal from me in an effort to keep me from my very important work; and I’m not talking about my writing. I’m talking about living my life with joy, peace and the presence of God. However, distractions abound, like fiery arrows that the enemy zings at me when I lose my grip on my shield.

PRAYER CIRCLE

“THE ARROWS STING AND I’M

SUDDENLY DISTRACTED FROM MY PEACE WITH WORRIES, STRESSES, OFFENSES AND FRUSTRATIONS, NOT TO MENTION A DEADLINE OR TWO BREATHING ITS HOT BREATH DOWN MY NECK. “

That’s when I turn into a red-eyed zombie trying desperately to write about prayer and God’s love. In times like this, I have nothing worthwhile to say, at least nothing worth reading. (Though it’s all good for the recycle bin.) I find that the real work of living distraction free involves guarding my heart, letting go of offenses and opening my soul to more of God’s peace. When I can do that I am left with peace; peace to follow the joy of the Lord, and peace to finish my writing projects. If you’re ready to bypass your distractions and focus on what’s really important like the Lord and the peace and joy he offers, pray the following: Dear Lord, Shine your light of truth over my distractions; my worries, stresses, offenses and frustrations as I yield them all to you. I choose to forgive anyone whom I’ve blame for these distractions, including myself. For the truth is; I myself am to blame for lowering my shield so I could stare at all the arrows flying my way. You’d think I’d have noticed that every time I peek from behind my shield, I get zapped with even more worry, stress, offense and frustration. Give me the strength to bypass the temptation to peek at my adversary instead of focusing on you. Heal me from the pain that my distractions have caused me. Now that I’ve chosen to focus on you, I yield to your peace and joy. I declare that my trust is in you, despite whatever battle is raging around me. And I make an agreement with Psalm 119:114, “You are my refuge and my shield; your word is my source of hope.” Thank you that I can trust in you, my refuge, shield and hope. In Jesus’s name, Amen S

---------

LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD is author of 30 books. Article adapted from her latest book The Stress Cure; Praying Your Way to Personal Peace (Baker Revell) www.StressPrayers.com

BEHIND THE SCENES WITH

SCOTT

STAPP

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“WITH THE PUBLICATION IN

A LOT OF TIMES, THOSE THINGS COME BACK TO BITE US.

2012 OF SCOTT STAPP’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY SINNER’S CREED, THE FORMER LEAD SINGER, SONGWRITER AND LYRICIST FOR OF MULTI-PLATINUM RECORDING BAND CREED DETAILED HIS STRUGGLES WITH DRUGS, ALCOHOL AND DEPRESSION.

“

It became the catalyst for his album Proof of Life, which released last year. Editor Amber Weigand-Buckley had the opportunity to set down with Scott to talk about the road that brought him to finally surrender his life totally to Christ, the support of his family and what he has learned along the way.

YOUR LIVE ALBUM RELEASED LAST YEAR. PROOF OF LIFE TALKS VERY MUCH ABOUT WHO YOU ARE. TELL ME A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THE PROCESS OF PUTTING THAT ALBUM TOGETHER.

SCOTT: Absolutely. We cut the trees down but there are roots, emotions and feelings. For me, that needed to be dealt with because at the core they were impacting my life all these years later. It all came from fear. God is the opposite of fear. God is love. So in shining that light on the areas in my life, and looking at it from that lens, I can see how and where it started in my life, and how fear impacted me. Then, it disguises itself through other things and I wanted to change. I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

YOU DEALT WITH DEPRESSION AND THAT LED YOU INTO A PATTERN OF SUBSTANCE ABUSE WITH ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. HOW DID YOU GO ABOUT PROCESSING DEPRESSION? SCOTT: I was self-medicating. I had to first get rid of the way I was doing things to make myself feel better. Alcohol and other drugs initially made me feel better. I felt all the symptoms of depression. When I

SCOTT: I look at Proof of Life as the musical accompaniment to the transformation in my life. Coming out of a period in my life where I became self-destructive in decision-making and suffered from the consequences. I finally got to the place of how did I get here, what makes me tick, what’s unresolved? So in writing my book, Sinner’s Creed, I began the process of going back and honestly reflecting on my life. What I thought was a negative and dark period, repurposed psychologically in that I now see it as something that I went through, learned from and now I can pass that story along because it’s a common story for all of us as human beings. It really demonstrates the power of what God can do in your life and how everything matters. We don’t have to regret those times when we’ve become a hostage to our decision-making and situations we’ve put ourselves in. Every day, make a decision that today is a new day to change and allow God to free us from those self-imposed prisons.

IT’S EASY WHEN WE RECEIVE SALVATION TO WANT TO BRUSH EVERYTHING UNDER THE RUG AND NOT DEAL WITH THE PAST.

THE STAPP FAMILY (L to R) Jaclyn, Daniel, Melaina, Scott and Jagger.

drank, or did some drugs, it took that away but then it became destructive and began to kill me. So removing that was the first thing. - continued -

writer and lyricist, that was a part of me and came out in the songs I wrote. I was wrestling with it but could not escape the resolution that it was true— but that’s a part of the human story, the spirit and spiritual things. Now, I’m more solid in my Christian walk. I’ve been through a lot and have a lot to share. I’m still just an artist. I’m sharing my story through song.

Then, depression, from what I’ve learned, is a chemical sickness. Just like we get the flu, just like you get a bacterial infection, it’s a treatable chemical virus of the mind. Once I accepted that that was the reality of my situation, I sought help. Because of my decisions and where I was spiritually, it just made that worse. But I think it definitely took a combination of modern medicine and absolute focus on just my spiritual self to come out of that.

YOU TALK A LOT ABOUT TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW THEY IMPACT OUR LIVES. I KNOW YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY MUST BE PART OF THE SUPPORT GROUP THAT KEEP YOU ON TRACK. SCOTT: Yes, I think it’s important for us to surround ourselves with people that don’t contribute to whatever our issues are. For me, battling with alcohol, some drugs, and the lifestyle of rock and roll—my wife doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke. That’s not even her elective blow-off steam. That’s just not how she was raised. So definitely the way she lives her life, in the terms of health and what she puts into it, raised and shined a light on mine. The love and the looks in your children’s eyes and family support, it’s amazing what that can do to you—what you can endure and the limits that can be pushed within you when you have that direct manifestation of God as love in your life at all times.

PEOPLE WERE ASKING ALL ALONG THE WAY IS CREED A CHRISTIAN BAND? WAS THAT SOMETHING YOU WERE SEARCHING FOR PERSONALLY?

YOU’VE DONE THE ROCK STAR THING. WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN YOUR CAREER RIGHT NOW? SCOTT: The most important thing in my career is to be authentic and make sure that I’m staying true always to what’s guiding my life, who I am as a human being. I never want to feel I need to conform, hide or not be the person that I am—either in mind or spirit. In fact, the spirit itself is more important. I just need to embrace that aspect of my being—that’s what I am. If people don’t get it, they don’t get it. That’s my niche. Rock and roll brings that to light for me even more so and connects me with those thoughts and feelings. There was a time I felt criticized, labeled, judged and thrown over the way because of something that is connected with being human—a part of our psyche that we often dismiss. Externally that is the reason why so much crazy stuff is going on in this world—we are not feeding our spirits. There’s a vacuum of soullessness and disconnection from God. We have taken God out of everything. Therefore, we don’t have God as the moral standard, as the moral baseline.

WHAT IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS YOU’VE LEARNED IN YOUR 8-YEAR JOURNEY WITH JACLYN—BEING HUSBAND AND WIFE? SCOTT: Her motivation and relentless ability to press forward inspires me. I’ve learned the power of family, how that can transform your life. I see clearly what the power, strength and love of what a real family is.

WHAT IS ONE THING THAT JACLYN DOES THAT BRINGS YOU STRENGTH IN YOUR DAY TO DAY?

SCOTT: I always know the truth—she says it like it is. In my position, it’s important to have that in my life. SCOTT: Well, I was a Christian at that time, strugSomeone who speaks their truth into your life when it gling and rebelling, choosing the things of this world can be so clouded with other things. Think that pasover my spiritual well-being and what I knew was sion and honesty and commitment to staying real has right. But Creed wasn’t a Christian band. Some of the been something that has really helped me and my life. guys don’t even believe in God. So, that label caught Find out more about Scott’s album Proof of Life and his everyone off guard. I knew, being the primary songbook Sinner’s Creed at www.scottstapp.com. S {20.} - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

JUST 18 SUMMERS

HELP THEM SOAR BY MICHELLE COX

“FRUSTRATION LACED MY TEEN-

AGED SON’S VOICE. ‘MOM, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE.’ He only had a year of

“

high school left and I could tell the pressure of choosing a future career was weighing heavily on his mind.

I could understand his frustration. It’s a difficult and important choice. Wise parents will start thinking ahead for this time, even when their children are still small. Here are some ideas that might help: Begin by praying for your children and asking God to guide you as you counsel them. When your children are older, pray together with them about their future career choices. Claim Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) where it says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” God’s plans are always best!

ter that we plant when they’re young will blossom into something beautiful when they’re adults. Look at their God-given talents and abilities. That’s a great starting point when considering possible career choices. What do they dislike? What are their interests? What brings a sparkle to their eyes when they talk about it? Be supportive. Guide them subtly and provide resources as they search for God’s plans for their lives. Look for opportunities where your children can volunteer or be an intern so they can try out various careers before they have to choose a major. Teach your children that following God’s will is one of the most important things they will ever do. Help them soar as they discover His calling for their lives. S --------MICHELLE COX is an author and speaker and the creator of the Just 18 Summers® brand of parenting resources and products. The Just 18 Summers novel is available now! To visit her parenting blog, to learn more about Michelle and the book, or to invite her to speak, go to www.just18summers.com and www.Facebook.com/just18summers.

Instill a strong work ethic in your children. Teach them about responsibility and remind them to give their best effort at whatever they choose. Those seeds of charac-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{21.} -

IN THE LEAD

THE SOUND OF GOD’S TUNE BY EDNA ELLISON

“A PILOT WAS SHOT DOWN

BEHIND ENEMY LINES IN ASIA. HE HID HIS PARACHUTE AND BEGAN TO WALK FAST THROUGH THE UNDERBRUSH, AS FAR AS POSSIBLE BEFORE HIS PLANE WAS FOUND. Suddenly an Asian man,

“

The Spirit of God transcends language. The pilot recognized God’s tune and turned in that direction to follow it. Learning to walk in faith is awkward, isn’t it? Like the pilot, have you hesitated to follow your passion for God, letting fear of the unknown distract you, needing the assurance to move with power toward your goal?

“TODAY TURN YOUR THOUGHTS TOWARD ‘GOD’S TUNE.’ WHAT DOES

dressed in a drab hand-woven outfit, jumped out of HE WANT YOU TO LEARN ABOUT the woods. The pilot stopped—breathing heavily, gun drawn, on guard. Then the peasant motioned the pilot YOUR PASSION FOR HIM TODAY? to follow him. He did, slowly, hesitating at every bush for an enemy ambush. Sensing the pilot’s fear and Paul speaks of growing in faith, power, knowledge, unable to communicate in his language, the peasant and love in Ephesians 3: 13-21. He says you’re rooted began humming a tune: “Amazing grace, how sweet and established, like a flower, with lots of Living Water the sound, that saved a wretch like me. . .” An hour in the early-learning process so that your deep roots later, after they reached a Christian church in a friendwill withstand trials and suffering as a mature leader. ly village, the pilot grinned as he recalled the sound of God’s tune from the Christian peasant’s humming: “I These things help you identify your passion: You are called would have followed him anywhere!” - continued {22.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“

a Christian (vv. 14-15), which identifies you as a daughter or son in the family of God. You gain strength and power from glorious riches in God’s resources (v. 16). These are in your inner being (v. 16), dwelling in your heart (v. 17). Paul prays fervently for the leaders in Ephesus who are reading this letter that:

1. God will give them strength, or power (v. 18a), 2. they will work together with other saints (Chris-

tians, v. 18b),

3. they will “get it!”—grasp how wide, long, high, and

deep the love of Christ is (v. 18c), and

4. to know His love (v. 19, comprehending the truth

of his love: not just knowledge but filled with the measure of all the fullness of God). As a leader, you may have a burning passion to serve God in a certain way. God may now be confirming how he wants to use your natural talents, a specific learned skill, or a spiritual gift from God as your passion in His kingdom. Remember: God is economical. He never wastes any experience you’ve had, good or bad. Discuss what your leaders have experienced that led you to recognize your passion for Christ, your local church, or your service for Him. Do you hear His “God tune” now? If Paul were leading you today, he would say, “Walk worthy, with passion!” Yet, learning to walk is an awkward process. My daughter, Patsy, learned to sit up, pull up, take a step, hesitate, fall, get up again, take another step, toes curled under, slowly trusting. . . and with arms waving, she stumbled across the room! As her mother, I yearned for her to move, to quit hesitating, and start strutting! I wanted each of my children to soar on their own, with passion, in just the unique way God made them. They did, as they grew in faith. Our Father watches like a parent, loving you, knowing the struggle is the only way you will be refined into the precious metal forming His house, His kingdom. Rise now, strong enough for service. Walk now with passion! S --------EDNA ELLISON, president of the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association and author of 32 non-fiction books, adapted today’s mentoring article from her book Friendships of Faith, a Shared Study of Ephesians (Unit 3: Studies 13-15), available from www.ednaellison. com and www.newhopepublishers.com.

IN THE LEAD

DISCUSSION STARTER:

Beforehand, ask each participant to highlight the requests in Ephesians 3:13-21 that Paul submits to God as he prays.

DISCUSS THE FOLLOWING:

1. Paul is in jail in Rome, far away from Ephesus.

Why does he think the Ephesians are discouraged? Is Paul discouraged? Why or why not?

2. What do you know about Paul from other studies that show his passion? (Chose one below.)

a. Paul is willing to suffer because his passion and his power are based on Jesus.

b. Paul is a meek man without any passion. c. Paul sees suffering as a glorious thing. This

man has serious delusions! (Answer: a)

3. The word glory in verse 13 means “honor, dignity,

or worship.” How do you think suffering compares to these definitions of glory? (your opinion)

4. Summarize main points in the Bible study above

(vv. 13-19) that personally affect your passion.

5. Do you believe God is economical? How? Why? (your opinion)

6. Read verses 16-18. Compare spiritually younger

leaders to flowers. How can older leaders nurture younger ones? How can younger leaders absorb the Living Water from the spiritual wisdom of older ones? [Each leader needs a mentor and a merea (“mahRAY-ah”: Hebrew: dear young friend, one mentored, sometimes called “mentee”)]. Share your passion with them, older and younger. Close with Paul’s passionate words in Ephesians 3:20-21. As you leave, walk worthy, listen to God’s tune, and follow it!

ONE CHICKEN

TO RUIN THEM ALL BY KATIE MATTIUZZO

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“FOR A NEW BRIDE I HAD A

FAIRLY DECENT INTRODUCTORY KNOWLEDGE OF KITCHENRELATED PRACTICES. I had always

“

had an interest in cooking and baking and had learned a tremendous amount from my mom. However I quickly found that now that I was on my own, mastering the complexities of meats was difficult. My most horrific meat-related meltdown came just a few months into my marriage—a highly educational and insecure time for a new bride as it is! I had invited my in-laws over for a birthday dinner in honor of my mother-in-law. The menu consisted of roast chicken, potatoes, salad, Jell-O, and an extraordinary looking chocolate cake complete with garnishes, of which I was most proud. My new family began to sit down at the table while I made my way over to the oven to take out the roast chicken. To my horror, the meat was still pink, blood drizzled down the seasoned skin, and little chunks of ice stubbornly clung to the inside cavity of the chicken. A flood of emotion washed over me in that moment, the greatest being sheer humiliation that my meal was a failure and insurmountable anger at the chicken for rebelling and making me look bad in front of my company. I profusely apologized to my husband’s family while I fought back the urge to throw myself into the oven with the chicken I had come to despise so ardently. I had to fight that urge for another HOUR while that chicken leered at me from the safety of the oven. We did eat that chicken that day, but only after a reversed dinner—chocolate birthday cake first accompanied by singing, presents, and cards, then salad, Jell-O, potatoes, and finally chicken. With the shame behind me, I have developed some insight into our walk with the Lord — we are much like chicken. In order to be fully used by God to do great things we must first thoroughly thawed.

“BY LETTING GO OF EVERYTHING HE

Secondly, cooking is a time and temperature sensitive process. God brings us to and holds us in different stages at different times in our lives for reasons sometimes only HE knows. We shouldn’t be in such a hurry to rush out of that stage of preparation. If something has not been cooked long enough or at a high enough temperature, it is too soft or raw. Likewise, a person who is under-cooked runs the risk of not being fully ready for the task they are rushing ahead to tackle. Maybe they haven’t been cooked at a high enough temperature to develop a hard exterior to take criticism or to work in emotionally difficult situations. Whatever the reason for the phase of life we are in and the high temperatures we might have to put up with from time to time we need to remember that God is the ultimate Chef who has everything perfectly timed out for delicious result. Finally, we must surround ourselves with other appetizing dishes. Just as chicken tastes better when accompanied by mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, and biscuits, so is true of us. You will be far more effective in life if you don’t go at it alone.

“SURROUND YOURSELVES WITH WISE FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS WHO CAN SPEAK INTO YOUR LIFE AND PROVIDE UPLIFTING CONVERSATION. MAKE SURE THAT YOU IN RETURN ARE THE KIND OF WOMAN OF GOD THAT COMPLIMENTS SOMEONE ELSE’S MAIN COURSE.“ Since that fateful dinner, I have cooked for my in-laws numerous times without any similar mishaps, but every time I put a large or awkwardly shaped piece of meat in the oven I remember the chicken that nearly defeated me and that taught me such a great lesson about life! S ---------

CAN MELT AWAY AT THE HARDNESS KATIE MATTIUZZO juggles life as a stay-at-home-mom with a IN OUR HEARTS AND ALLOW US TO freelance career in graphic design in Springfield, MO. She and her husband Nick have a 2-year-old son and a baby girl on the way. She BE SOFT, TENDER, AND READY TO BE graduated in 2008 from Evangel University with a degree in Adverand Public Relations and a Concentration in Art for graphic PREPARED FOR THE WORK THAT WILL tising design. BE DONE IN US AND THROUGH US.“ -------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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HEALTH TRACKS

DOES BEING PASSIONATE ABOUT YOUR WORK IMPROVE YOUR HEALTH? BY DR. SAUNDRA DALTON-SMITH

“DURING YOUR YEARLY PHYSICAL,

IT’S CUSTOMARY TO SHARE YOUR CURRENT GOOD HEALTH PRACTICES WITH YOUR DOCTOR.

“

Regular exercise, a variety of vegetables, and adequate water consumption has all been shown to contribute positively to your wellbeing. But good health practices go much deeper than this; it includes not only those things that go into your body but those things which go into your mind and spirit. What you do, why you do it, and how you feel about it can either help or hurt your health.

will improve your health and happiness. Negative work stress is toxic and can translate into physical symptoms. Headaches after a hard day at the office or noticing stiff muscles as you strive to meet a demanding deadline are examples of this principle you have likely already experienced in your own life. Work however is not the enemy. All work is not bad. When your work is something you are passionate about, your body will respond differently to the resulting positive work stressors. Positive stressors include demands on your creativity, stretching the limits of your expectations and overcoming the fear of success. Each positive stressor moves you from one level of glory to another. Each positive stressor will cause you to draw closer to God as you will find you are dependent upon his guidance in the process. This type of life giving fruit grows best in a field of passion, purpose and promise.

People who enjoy their work and derive fulfillment from it are less stressed, more joyful, and live longer. Those who spend their 40+ hours a week laboring with a job they find a chore will ultimately live the majority of their days in a state of persistent despair and hopelessness. Proverbs 13:12 So what can you do if you think negative work stress states hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulmay be putting your health at risk? filled is a tree of life. Joy, peace, and laughter are good for your body and soul. Engagement in work which satisfies - continued {26.} - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

1. Rediscover what makes you smile.

There is healing power within your smile. The act of smiling releases the “happy” neurotransmitters dopamine, endorphins and serotonin. These cause a sense of relaxation and contentment. During your work day seek out opportunities to practice smiling. The more you look for thinks which make you smile, the easier it will be to recognize these happy triggers when they appear.

2. Learn how to say “no” without guilt.

“Yes” may be your enemy. If you find yourself saying yes to please others, it’s time to establish some relationship boundaries. Your yes should be reserved for those opportunities and experiences which align with your personal desires and aspirations. Whether your goal is to share hope with a hurting world or expand the outreach of your organization, your yes should come from an authentic place not one of fear or insecurity.

3. Make an appointment with laughter.

Make laughter an important part of your daily agenda. Proverb 17:22 tells us a cheerful heart is good medicine. Laughing is not a suggestion for health; it is a required part of living whole. Can’t find anything funny about your current work situation? Start with looking at yourself. A great way to take yourself less seriously is to remember times when you took yourself too seriously.

4. Stay true to your statement of faith.

If you are compromising your beliefs for a paycheck, your peace will suffer. Determine the key components of what you believe and resist the vacillation of public opinion. The more grounded you are in your beliefs, the easier it will be to dwell in a place of personal harmony.

5. Seek wisdom for change.

Just because you are not happy in your current job does not mean you should turn in your letter of resignation today. What can you learn where you are at? What good can you glean from this position? Pray for the wisdom to know when a change is warranted. Just because something is hard does not mean it is not where God wants you to be. Seek to know the difference between struggle which leaves you drained, and struggle which transforms you into something beautiful.

6. Define your happy.

HEALTH TRACKS happy place with 0 meaning nowhere near and 10 meaning you are living in it. An honest look at where you stand will help you see if changes are needed.

7. Implement a plan for your desired result.

If you don’t know where you are going you won’t know how to get there. Determine the result you desire then create a plan to move you closer to the place you want to be. If you are passionate about writing, start with a few classes on the craft or a conference to meet like-minded individuals. If you are passionate about serving, consider researching mission trips or shelters in your area where you can be of service. Move toward work you love doing, and you will be amazed at the myriad of opportunities which present themselves.

8. Focus on pleasing an audience of one.

Knowing your work reaches beyond time and eternity can be an awe-inspiring moment. Resist the need to judge your success in sales numbers and new contracts. Passionate work is not always a sure ticket to riches and fame. Often passionate work is work you would do even if the only beneficiary was a nail-scarred audience of one.

9. Become a problem solver.

Challenges can either be a catalyst for growth or a stumbling block to success. One way to discover your passion is to evaluate what really gets under your skin. Allow you inability to accept the status quo to propel you the next level on inquiry. Ask the hard questions, knock on closed doors, and seek answers to the problems which beset you. You may find that you have not because you have asked not.

10. Merge your present with your passion.

Take a good look at what you currently have to work with, and then work with it. What talents do you possess? What relationships can you draw upon? What do you have in your hand that you can use with renewed purpose? Actively pursue finding joy in the work you do. Don’t spend another day lamenting over a job you despise. The negative stress of dissatisfaction will only lead to disease. Instead use that energy to reconnect with work you are passionate about doing and improve your overall health. S ---------

DR. SAUNDRA DALTON-SMITH is an internal medicine physician, author, Happiness means different things for different people. and speaker. She shares with audiences nationwide on the topics of Specify what happiness is for you. Is it an unrushed eliminating limiting emotions, breaking free from mental bondage, and pace which affords you time for the simple things of helps others see God’s plan for them to live free in Christ. life? Or do you see happiness as strong relationships and budding friendship? After you decide upon your definition of happiness, rate how close you are to your -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{27.} -

LIFE BYTES

beauty

DIY SHINY HAIR POTION BY SHELLY BALLESTERO

“IF YOU’VE GOT DULL HAIR THAT

COULD USE SOME BRIGHTER DAYS...HERE IS A RECIPE YOU’RE GONNA LOVE. I use this a bunch. Now

“

for those skeptics out there who would rather not use vinegar, water is just fine. However the shelf life changes and is only good for about a week.

WHAT YOU’LL NEED:

Rosemary. Rinse 2 cups of cider vinegar 1 cup chopped Rosemary

HOW TO MAKE:

1. Place 1 cup of chopped Rosemary in a glass jar.

in the refrigerator or in a dark, cool place for two weeks.

4. Strain steeped vinegar from herbs through cheesecloth or a coffee filter into a fresh, clean bottle. * Will keep refrigerated for 6 months.

HOW TO USE

Dilute 1 tablespoon of the rosemary vinegar in 1 cup of water. After shampooing use the rosemary rinse as your final phase,you can Rinse it out with fresh water or, for extra conditioning, leave it in and towel dry hair. The vinegar scent will disappear as your hair dries. S --------SHELLY BALLESTERO is author of Beauty by God: Inside-Out Secrets for Every Woman. Find her beauty products at www.mybeautifultruth.com.

2. Cover with 2 cups of vinegar. 3. Allow mixture to steep in a tightly closed jar or bottle

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LIFE BYTES

food

SHARING JESUS ONE TEACUP AT A TIME BY PENELOPE CARLEVATO

“I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT TEA;

THE BONE CHINA, THE LINENS, THE DAINTY AND PETITE GOODIES, THE GLEAMING SILVER AND THE COMBINED ATMOSPHERE OF EVERYTHING LOVELY. My English mother had

”

instructed me from a very young age the importance of hospitality and especially in the art of afternoon tea. It was an exciting beginning of many venues to come as I continued from that first workshop to writing and teaching about sharing Jesus at the tea table. I felt that writing about my love of tea was a calling I could no longer ignore. I pursued the avenue of my love of the Edwardian and Victorian era and combined them to write Tea on the Titanic, and continued on to write my latest book, First Class Etiquette.

been to a tea party, and certainly never given one, but, give it a try. There are so many choices for tea, both in teabags and loose-leaf tea. I suspect you might just have a teapot and a few teacups and saucers tucked away in your cupboard. Follow these simple steps to make a proper cup of tea, pray for the person God puts on your heart and you will be sharing Jesus one teacup at a time.

THE PROPER CUP OF TEA

1. Pour fresh cold water into the teakettle and heat to a boil 2. Warm the teapot with hot tap water. Pour out tap water from teapot when the teakettle boils 3. Next, place teabags or infusion basket with tea leaves into teapot. Note, a small teapot usually serves 2, a medium serves 4 and a large serves 6. A good rule of thumb is one teaspoon (or teabag) for every two cups of tea. 4. Pour boiling water from the teakettle into the teapot and let the tea brew for three to five minutes or as long as it takes to read Psalm 51. Use a teacozy to keep the teapot warm. 5. Remove infusion basket or teabags from teapot and pour into teacups. Enjoy! S ---------

I have been thrilled to see how the simple act of hospitality, combined with prayer and a cup of tea has been the beginning of transformed lives. Not only with our friends and neighbors, but having a tea party with our children and grandchildren gives us the gift of slowing down and PENELOPE CARLEVATO is author of Teatime on the Titanic. Find her having time to listen. It might be that you have never online at www.penelopesteatime.com. -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{29.} -

LIFE BYTES

time

LIVING INTENTIONALLY

IN FOLLOWING GOD’S CALL BY KAREN WHITING

“YEARS AGO I SPENT A FEW

DAYS ON A RETREAT PRAYING FOR GOD’S WILL. God gave me a vision

“

and spoke to me. That doesn’t happen often, so I paid attention. He stretched out His hand with water flowing over it and held what looked like a golden ball. He explained it was a seed and said, “Plant it. It will yield much.” He wanted me to be a writer and not just write one book. The thought stunned me, but I said, “Yes.” I committed to follow the calling and whole-heartily work at writing for at least five years. I chose to live intentionally, investing my time into the calling. Twenty years later, I am still writing and have had many books and articles published. It’s been an adventure and God has blessed my work and effort.

• Choose to invest your time to move toward the goals. Schedule regular time and honor that as time dedicated for God. • Eliminate interruptions. Don’t answer emails or the phone during that time. • Choose to do what helps you fulfill your calling and decline other other opportunities. • Focus on what you can do and do it. • Consider your motives. Reread your mission statement often to focus on the good motives. • Be prepared for challenges. When the apostle Paul followed God he faced shipwrecks, prison, beatings, and other difficulties. He pressed forward and kept his eye on the calling. • Set monthly or quarterly dates to review your progress. • Find a mentor or accountability partner who can help you evaluate the calling and your progress. • Schedule time to rest and relieve stress. • Be flexible if God guides you in a different direction within your calling. • Keep your family and friends a priority.

When you’re called, take steps to invest in the calling: • Write the calling as a mission statement to clarify what you believe God has called you to do. Enjoy the adventure and persevere as you follow your • Then, set goals to help you focus and fulfill the mission. calling! S • Note what you need to follow the calling in funds, training, --------and opportunities. Trust God to supply your needs. • Envision the future and what fulfilling the calling will KAREN WHITING (www.karenwhiting.com) is an international speaklook like. er and award winning author of seventeen books. Check out her • Get equipped. Study and prepare yourself to fulfill your call. book: Secrets of Success for Women: Time for more time tips. • Pray daily and ask others to pray for your calling {30.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

BELLY LAUGHS

FIRMING UP BY RHONDA RHEA

“I JUST FINISHED MY MORNING

RUN. WAIT. DID I SAY MORNING RUN? I MEANT MORNING DONUT.

“

I was actually a real jog this morning, though. Then I decided to just Google Earth search a nice, scenic route in my neighborhood and trace it with my eyes several times. My eyeballs are in fantastic shape.

While some call my morning donut a basic overload of dough, fat and every form of sugar, I prefer to think of it as carb-loading. I’ve been carb-loading since around 1985. On the upside, I’m one of the few people truly carbohydrate-prepared for a spur of the moment 500K. If only I could run a race using just my eyes and all these carbs. Unfortunately my thighs might have to come along too. I try not to mention running if my thighs can hear me. They get upset and start to spark. The thighs tell me the spark is all about friction but I think that’s probably just the way thighs exhibit a panic attack.

He’s calling us to stay alert to our faith condition. Keeping the faith means never quitting. The evidence of a “faith kept” is growth. A firm faith flourishes. Paul talks about stop-being-a-baby kind of growth in Ephesians 4:14-16. “Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.” So whatever my thighs decide to do, the rest of me has no choice but to grow—to firm up. To make a resolute, firm decision to give my faith-life focused attention. Second Corinthians 1:24 says that “It is by faith you stand firm.” And just so you won’t think that I’ve replaced every one of my brain cells with donut batter, yes I do know that being soul-ready and body-firm are not mutually exclusive. I wouldn’t exactly call it a “firm decision,” but I’m gradually working up to a regular fitness routine. Very, very gradually. I’ll probably start with a rigorous eye-tracing of a half-marathon. Impressed?S ---------

I can put off my thigh-readiness for the time being, but my soul? Never. Soul-readiness is essential for running this life-race with alertness and running it in victory. Firm thighs would be nice, but a firm faith is critical. RHONDA RHEA is an author, humor columnist and radio personalGod calls us to attention: “Keep alert. Be firm in your ity. She lives in the St. Louis area with her pastor-hubs and has five grown children. Find her online at www.rhondarhea.com. faith,” (1 Corinthians 16:13, CEV). -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{31.} -

WHO IS THE ‘YOU’ THAT GOD’S ORDAINED YOU TO BE?

BY LISA TROYER

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“I REMEMBER IT WELL, CHRISTMAS DAY 1968. “

I had just turned four years old on the 5th day of the month. (And no, I never felt having a December birthday was a disadvantage.). On Christmas morning, I was enthralled, curious and excited as I saw this large piece of new furniture in our family room–a brand new Philco stereo. It was stylish, sounded incredible and was a welcomed replacement for the wellworn Montgomery Ward cabinet (yes, they were pieces of furniture back then) record player that had served us until that day. That Christmas, we all were sick and Dr Hart made a house call to give us shots. It was a good thing to be on the mend. My mom was expecting my baby sister that February.

influence on her development. She can hear incredible harmony parts because she would continually repeat Beach Boys songs so as to figure out the structure of the chords they were skillfully singing. Her gift, developed through dedication, is extraordinary. Little did Dawn and I know that the experience of our mutual late 60s and early 70s childhoods would lay a foundation that God would employ for a new chapter in both of our lives. She and I had already begun our songwriting relationship in 2009, when an evening in Grand Rapids, Michigan while filming Carol Kent’s “Between A Rock and a Grace Place” DVD birthed a ‘new song’……and thus, a new chapter in our musical partnership.

You may ask what all this has to do with what God ordained me to be? What five years ago was a mystery, has become clearer in more recent days. I have always loved music. And I have always loved the images that pop into my mind’s eye when I listen to music. The safety of feeling emotions that nobody but God gets first glance at — and I think He delights when those ‘warm fuzzy’ feelings are experienced by His children. I’m a child of the 60s, so the Columbia Record Club had a significant influence on my musical development. It was always exciting when the mailman would deliver new music my older sister and I eagerly opened upon its arrival. Who needs candy when there are new records to be played? Also, because my family didn’t attend a full-gospel church at the time, I was not significantly influenced by hymns until almost a decade old. I’ve often wondered why God had all those ‘formative’ years enrobed in music from the distinctive guitars of The Ventures, The Beatles, Percy Faith Orchestra Singers, Bobbie Gentry, Dusty Springfield and of course, my hero du jour – Glen Campbell. Wow! The Wichita Lineman album that came with that brand new stereo was my watershed musical moment. That young man from Arkansas with stellar guitar skills and a quick smile that inspired me to memorize lyrics and planted the desire to one day learn to play the guitar. He also taught me to like red polka dot shirts and suede jackets!!

In the hotel room that cold January night, we were working on a song originally titled “Caught.” Dawn had already developed the chord progression and melody. I just came along for the ride and contributed to the lyrics. As she played, I got that ‘warm fuzzy’ feeling that I would have listening to those records by The Ventures. When the song was completed, I told Dawn, we need to record this tune!! I believed our friends at Zodlounge Studios in Nashville (they were members of the band Sonic Flood) would be able to ‘hear’ what was going on in my head. I shared that I could hear something reminiscent of the 1960’s Phil Spector ‘Wall of Sound’….or Sonny and Cher’s ‘The Beat Goes On’….. Not anything that even resembled music being played on Christian radio stations. What in the world was I thinking??

Fast-forward forty years…recent years have been filled with writing numerous songs with my friend and ministry partner, Dawn Yoder. She too was born at a time where the pop music of the era was an early, significant - continued -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --{33.} -

Well, from the session a few months later was the beginning of what we refer to as Redeemed Retro. It’s been interesting to see how the songs, as we present them at conferences (and even on secular radio stations in Europe) connect with not only the women in our age demographic, but young women and guys as well.

My friends, we are on a journey. Each chapter is significant in someway to the ultimate roll God wants us to embrace in His kingdom. Whether it’s learning the art of cooking from Mom and Grandma, how to manage a growing business, how to mentor and teach the Word of God — or, sing retro style music that has ‘redeemed’ lyrics……God wastes nothing! When we bring these gifts, talents, experiences and allow Him to use it all to shape who we are called to be, we see the calling that is unique to us. Did I ever think that God would have songs by my best friend and I played on the airwaves of Germany when I was four years old that Christmas day we got a new stereo? No – but He knew in eternity past. These are precious testimonies to the truth of Ephesians 2:7-10. The Message translation puts it this way…

The young women that enjoy the UK pop icon Adele, or her contemporary, Duffy, like Redeemed Retro, too! We always smile when we are compared to Dusty Springfield or Karen Carpenter —God’s always doing ‘a new thing’, with Kingdom purposes in mind. To bring this full circle, as it were. The last while, Dawn and I have augmented these retro melodies with Christmas lyrics. By ‘accident’, when I was speaking and singing in Germany with Carrie Blackaby-Webb, in November 2012, a radio station in Germany started playing our cover of ‘Love Is The Answer/Tell Me The Story’ (Todd Rundgren and Fanny Crosby – who would have dreamed?)as a CHRISTMAS single. The national radio programmers in Germany blessed us again by making it a Christmas list staple again in 2013.

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. S --------LISA TROYER is an author and speaker who enjoys spending time with her husband Bob, and their children Jillian and Christian. Find out more about her and her music online at www.lisatroyer.com.

Dawn and I never imagined how God was going to use our mutual love for this style of music for His glory – not to mention, across the sea. We just smile at His kindness. {34.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

“Packed with prayer and promises, this book will free you to experience the POWER of GOD’S PEACE.” —LYSA LYSA TERKEURST TERKEURST, New York Times bestselling author of Unglued and president of Proverbs 31 Ministries

he true remedy to stress, Linda Evans Shepherd says, is prayer. In this inspiring book, she shows you how to recognize God’s continual presence in your life and yield your troubles to the Prince of Peace. Through captivating stories, explorations of fascinating biblical characters, and examples of deeperthan-ever prayers, she brings within your grasp the peace that passes understanding. If you are overwhelmed by all of the urgent demands on your time, this book is your lifeline to true peace.

Also Available from LINDA EVANS SHEPHERD

www.StressPrayers.com

AVAILABLE WHEREVER BOOKS ARE SOLD ALSO AVAILABLE IN e BOOK FORMAT

WHY DO I KEEP GETTING ANGRY? BY KATHY COLLARD MILLER

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“HANNAH IS A HAIR DRESSER

WHO GETS VERY UPSET WHEN PEOPLE ARE LATE FOR THEIR APPOINTMENTS. She asked me, “Kathy,

”

how can I control my frustration? Even my grown kids tell me I’m angry towards them, saying I micro-manage their lives.” I asked her about her childhood and she replied, “After my dad left us, my mom worked. By the time I was six years old, I had to get myself off to school and home from school. Anxious about losing the key for our house, I created routines for almost everything. That way I wouldn’t get locked out and feel helpless.” After hearing her story, I shared with Hannah my theory about her anger. “Hannah, when you developed those routines to safeguard yourself, you believed the lies that no one cared about you and that you were on her own. You bought into the accusations that Satan had thrown at you—like God didn’t care and He wasn’t available to help you.” Hannah looked a little surprised but I continued, “You learned to control every part of your life and then the lives of others, otherwise, life was too dangerous. Even as a Christian who claims you trust God, your actions reveal your distrust. And your family and your clients experience the result.” Hannah’s eyes widened and she exclaimed, “It makes sense. In effect, I’m trying to make sure I don’t lose the key that will keep me safe. I’m really acting like God won’t take good care of me. And I get angry when my tight grip is threatened. I sure don’t want to be like that. What can I do?” I suggested Hannah pray asking God to forgive her lack of trust in Him and then surrender to Him even when her “routines” were threatened. Then she could learn to trust Him instead of losing her cool. I assured Hannah this wouldn’t be a one-time surrender but a process of growth. After she prayed, she wiped away tears, saying she felt like she had released a huge burden.

“JUST LIKE HANNAH DID, YOU AND I CAN DISCOVER THE HEART ISSUES OF OUR ANGER. THEN WE CAN LEARN TO BE PATIENT AND GRACIOUS TOWARDS OTHERS.“

As you work on any anger issues in yourself or have an opportunity to help others, look for the underlying sources of anger when:

Our goals feel threatened. We might believe our

goals are the best — or only — way to get something done. But our plans may only be our way to control life and people so that we feel safe or successful.

Our personhood is belittled. We may feel like a little

girl again being berated by a stern parent or teacher. Our anger is our way to defend our image — it puts attention on the faults of the others and not ourselves.

Our abilities are disrespected. We may feel like we’re not being given the credit we deserve. We’ve possibly depended upon acknowledgement of our skills or talents to make us feel good about ourselves instead of allowing God to define our worth and value.

“IN EACH OF THESE CAUSES, WE NEED TO ASK GOD TO FORGIVE US FOR THE WAYS WE’RE SEEKING OUR OWN WAY (THROUGH ANGER) AND THEN SURRENDER TO WHATEVER HE HAS IN MIND. “ The day after Hannah and I talked, I received a text from her while she was at work: “You’re gonna laugh! Everyone is coming late for their appointments and the Lord is empowering me to be gracious and relaxed. Now I know I’m not on my own. He is here to help me and I don’t need to control everything. He’s in control!” I rejoiced in Hannah’s steps of faith. S --------KATHY COLLARD MILLER is the author of 50 books including her next book, Never Ever Be the Same: A New You Starts Today (Leafwood Publishing), due out January, 2015. Kathy is a popular women’s conference speaker who has spoken in 31 states and 7 foreign countries. She’ll be speaking next in China. Visit her at www.KathyCollardMiller.com. Sign up for her newsletter at http://eepurl.com/UpP8n. Kathy lives in Southern California.

REVIEWS

BOOK REVIEWS BY MARILYN LUCE ROBERTSON

THE BEST YES by Lysa Terkeurst â&#x20AC;&#x153;I dread saying yes but I feel powerless to say no.â&#x20AC;? Have you said that to yourself lately? We women are under so much pressure. With demanding schedules, family responsibilities, and an overwhelming, seemingly endless to-do list, the idea of picking and choosing our yeses gets lost in the fray. In The Best Yes, New York Times bestselling author Lysa Terkeurst not only throws a life preserver into the crazy, but helps us to shore as she offers direction in making wise decisions in the midst of endless demands. With a warm wit and disarming honesty, Lysa shares personal illustrations and the guidance you need in learning to separate the wheat from the chaff as you create priorities that enrich your life and honor God. RATING: 4.5 OUT OF 5 - continued -

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REVIEWS

UNSTOPPABLE by Christine Caine “A beautiful chain reaction began on the cross 2,000 years ago, and, through a series of batons handed from one runner to another, generation after generation, you were brought into your race.” In Unstoppable, bestselling author Christine Caine shows you how to successfully run this race you were born to win. You will be encouraged with real-life accounts of other runners in the faith, and inspired to run your race with perseverance as you boldly take your place on the team of the Body of Christ. By challenging you to face your obstacles and embrace the confidence that comes as you give your cares and concerns over to God, Christine helps you become Unstoppable. RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

BREATHING ROOM by Leeana Tankersley “My inability to suck it up and manage exposed and highlighted my growing suspicion that I was grossly inadequate for my own life.” In this smartly written expose’ of the human soul, Leeana Tankersley says out loud what most us are thinking, but don’t want to admit, to others or ourselves. With an admirable clarity, and a gifted, conversational tone, this military wife and mother of three invites you to come to the table and “. . . talk about how we might begin caring more how it feels on the inside than how it all looks on the outside.” Learn how to stop hurting yourself with self-doubt and offer yourself grace, in the big things and the little things. Take a deep breath, believe in God and in yourself. RATING: 5 STARS

REVIEWS

MUSIC REVIEWS BY HEATHER VAN ALLEN & S STAFF

LINDSAY MCCAUL One More Step “I’ve heard other people describe the experience of walking through the last weeks and months of life with a loved one as sacred. I totally agree,” Singer/Songwriter Lindsay McCaul explains about the inspiration behind the release of her sophomore album. One More Time, (Centricity Records) chronicles the life and death of her war veteran dad, Ret. Col. Larry Walter Pritchett, who passed away two years ago. McCaul co-wrote the eleven songs on the record, and the title track is a tribute to her father. The new albums is receiving rave media reviews. Hallels.com says listening to One More Step is like “hearing a God-transforming narrative that moves from despair to hope; from pain to joy and from lifelessness to eternal life.” RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

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REVIEWS

JUSTIN JARVIS Atmospheres (Live) With both subtle and massive arrangements hinting at inspiration from rock greats like Coldplay and The Killers, Atmospheres (Live) by Justin Jarvis was recorded live on tour with Jesus Culture band in March 2014 and captures 10 original anthems. Justin speaks to the shifting of atmospheres that takes place in us and through us every day because of the love of Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit. From the soaring title track, “Atmospheres,” and the epic instrumentation of the modern hymn, “Heaven’s Light,” to the intimate reflection of “Born of God,” every song at its core is written in and for the local church, inspiring a journey into the fullness of God’s heart. RATING: 4 OUT OF 5

ABOUT A MILE Self-Titled Comprised of brothers Adam, Luke and Levi Klutinoty, this band’s name originates from the belief that Jesus carried his cross “about a mile.” Birthed out of adversity, that saw frontman Adam nearly dying coupled with the chemistry and accomplished artistry that comes from the bond of brotherhood, About A Mile’s self-titled debut album is the suffering and truimph of a crucified and risen Christ. For listeners who want music that offers a raw, open and honest message, About A Mile fits well. The subject of the album is clear: it’s Jesus, pure and simple. The tracks both proclaim who Jesus is and worship and praise Him for what He has done in these brothers’ lives, without restraint or reservation. With skilled instrumentals and strong, smooth vocals, they play and sing their awe of and love for God. RATING: 5 OUT OF 5

TRUTH

SENT TO BE SPENT BY SHARON NORRIS ELLIOT

“AS THE MOTHER OF BOYS, I

CAN IDENTIFY WITH THE MOTHER OF ZEBEDEE’S SONS IN MATTHEW CHAPTER 20. Like her, my requests to Jesus

“

about my sons grow out of my love — we want the best for them as any mother would. This woman’s boys were two of the prominent disciples, James and John. In fact, they along with Peter were in Jesus’ inner circle. Many times in Scripture, we see these three with Jesus when the other nine are not. So she felt comfortable asking Jesus, “Grant that these two sons of mine may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on the left, in Your kingdom” Matthew 20:21 (NKJ).

That day, Jesus shifted the attention off of James and John and onto himself. However, He told the disciples something they didn’t quite catch all the implications of.

“‘WHOEVER DESIRES TO BECOME GREAT…LET HIM BE YOUR SLAVE, JUST AS THE SON OF MAN [CAME]… TO GIVE HIS LIFE AS RANSOM FOR MANY’ (V.26) WHAT DID JESUS MEAN BY THAT?“ Upon His resurrection, the disciples found out exactly what Jesus meant by that.

Jesus answered, explaining that she didn’t know what John 20:19-20 tells us of the evening after “Mary Magshe was asking. A high cost came gaining those spots. dalene… told the disciples that she had seen the Lord” Although the boys said they were able to handle it, (v. 18). It says, “Then, the same day at evening, being Jesus still responded that those seats were reserved by the first day of the week, when the doors were shut God the Father. He went on to explain that “whoever where the disciples were assembled, for fear of the desires to become great among you, let him be your Jews, Jesus came and stood in the midst, and said to servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, them, ‘Peace be with you.’ Now when He had said this, let him be your slave — just as the Son of Man did not He showed them His hands and His side. Then the come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many” Matthew 20:26-28 (NKJ). - continued {42.} - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

disciples were glad when they saw the Lord. So Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you’” John 20:18-21 (NKJ).

TRUTH

In essence, Jesus was saying, “Remember that time when I told you if you wanted to be great, you’d have to become slaves? Remember how I said I would give my life as a ransom for many? Look guys, see these scars? These scars are why I was sent to you in the first place. These scars show what I came here to do. I came to get you to God. Now, for the same reason God sent me to you, I am sending you to others. I gave my life to save everybody. Now you live your lives to tell it.” Paul later wrote that same message this way: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God— this is your spiritual act of worship” Romans 12:1 (NIV). In the rest of Romans chapter 12, Paul goes on to urge us to use our spiritual gifts. This is how we are “living sacrifices,” serving one another, giving to one another and living our lives for one another. Jesus was sent to be spent. As we live identified with Christ, develop our call and pursue our passion, we must realize we too are sent to be spent. S

SHARON NORRIS ELLIOTT’S engaging yet challenging messages touch the hearts and tickle the funny-bones of her audiences, making her a popular, sought-after speaker. She and her husband James are enjoying their empty nest in Southern California.

EMPOWERING CHRISTIAN WOMEN FOR LEADERSHIP LEADINGHEARTS.COM

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