March 2023

EDITORS

LAYOUT

DESTINIE MARKETING DIRECTOR

ASHLYN MULTIMEDIA DIRECTOR

MEG EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT

DAN & LACY, THE SWING NATION

JEFF, SWINGER SOCIETY

NICOLE OPERATIONS

CHRISTINA JES

CASEY KALI POPPUNKPINEAPPLE

MILITARY Non-Monogamy in the

By: @Mr.Swinger ed

When I was first asked to write an article on Swinging/Nonmonogamy and being in the military I thought, “too easy”. It is actually a very complex topic though, and each service member will have a different experience. I was an Army Infantryman. In this job, you have a lot of A-type personalities and it's admittedly a very misogynistic culture The stereotype of the infantryman exists for a reason. Infantrymen in general think of themselves as better than all other soldiers in different jobs in the military. The Army only recently allowed women to serve in the occupation

Military recognize spousal Consent! Consent! Consent!

The C a r e e r s a n d t h e L i f e s t y l e

Mr.Swinger_ed joins as a guest writer from the Swinger Society Influencer Team.

I was moved OUTofa leadership position

Although military service members can be criminally charged, the military generally maintains a “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” mantra. Swinging is a practice that fits into this category. Service members: please be careful when discussing the Lifestyle with work peers until we can get enough advocacy to make changes that would allow non-monogamous couples to pursue careers without the threat of being criminally charged or ostracized for activities they engage in within the bedroom.

In most cases, it is the social and professional ramifications that are devastating for service members after being outed in their unit’s community. In many combat occupations, swinging is looked down on because of the egodriven, A-type personalities that can not comprehend swinging These soldiers perceive it as a weakness and think poorly of the infantryman’s spouse. Nonmonogamy in the form of cheating is more widely accepted, but in my experience, a soldier will get ostracized for being a swinger. People seem to assume you want to swing with everyone The spouse will be the topic of gossip and the infantryman will slowly stop being invited to social gatherings with his peers.

In my case, I was moved out of a leadership position so I wouldn’t be in the unit anymore This likely affected my future promotions and caused a setback in my career. Officers can be charged more severely with multiple charges and risk a lot more when engaging in the lifestyle. That is why discretion is so crucial for many service members in the lifestyle

With Unicorns

By: @Lea Rose

Advice from a Unicorn!

You’ve probably heard the term “Unicorn” floating around, but what exactly is a Unicorn in the Lifestyle? A simple definition: A Unicorn is a single female who prefers to play with couples. There is some disagreement within the community about the sexuality of a Unicorn needing to be bisexual; many are comfortable with other women but may not be as sexually attracted or driven to the female in the couple. So, for the purposes of this article, we will use the loosest definition of a Unicorn: a single female in the lifestyle, straight or bisexual.

Lea _ Rose joins ALT Life as a writer who is passionate about educating the on positive body image

There are multiple reasons why a single female may choose to join the lifestyle. Some enjoy enhancing the communication and exploration of a secure and strong relationship. While others may enjoy being the center of attention in a play environment. Some enjoy being with multiple couples/persons without committing to a relationship. Remember, this is only a very basic overview, and many Unicorns will have their own reasons that could include all, some, or none of those mentioned above.

Everyone (single or couple) has their personal preferences. Unicorns are no different, each with their own wants and needs. While some Unicorns may seek a throuple/triad relationship with a couple, others will engage with a couple and focus more on play. Play may last for a single play session, or the Unicorn could want to establish repeat play partners. Unicorns may play solo with other singles, as well.

Unicorns havetheir ownwants andneeds!

Everyone’s journey is different. A Unicorn may become part of a couple at some point, or someone once in a couple may become a Unicorn after becoming single. The biggest thing to remember is that no one’s journey or experience will be the same. The tips below are generalizations. When in doubt, ask! Communication is key.

Determine what you're looking for, i.e., couples only, single play, long-term, etc.

Communicate with both (all) members in a partnership. Consent/expectations should come directly from each participating person.

Keep communication open and honest.

Set expectations and boundaries for yourself and receive them as well.

Follow your gut!

Safety first! Everyone will have a different view on safety, but it is a priority. If you feel uncomfortable for any reason (whether in conversation or play), speak up and remove yourself from the situation.

Enjoy and have fun!

Seeking a Unicorn

Unicorns are named what they are because they are rare and special. Treat them accordingly.

Unicorns will often be most comfortable conversing with the female of a male/female couple. Keep this in mind when initiating interaction.

“Unicorn Hunting” tends to scare away more than attract. Aggression/desperation will make a Unicorn go into hiding.

Be clear with your intentions: is this a one-time event? Long term? Play partner only or looking to introduce a third into your relationship?

Make sure your Unicorn feels safe and secure at all times. Check-in to ensure they do.

Take good care of your Unicorn.

Understand that she may choose to play with others on her own. Unless a relationship has been established that requires exclusivity, do not expect fidelity to your dynamic.

When heading to a club or takeover event, do not leave your Unicorn all alone (unless they have requested). They are there to spend time with you, even when engaging with others.

Not every Unicorn will be interested in every couple or person. There are more people interested in finding a Unicorn than there are Unicorns. Go at it slow and steady.

This one seems simple but often needs the reminder- Don’t be creepy!

Just because you have had a past experience with a unicorn does not give you priority or a right to expect play.

Confirm any rules or limits of your Unicorn. They are entitled to boundaries in play as much as the couple they interact with.

Defining Defining

TN _ Gal _ Nicole joins ALT Life as editorial operations, and is passionate about ENM education

ELA STOEHR, MD FACOG

WOMEN'S INTERNATIONAL DAY!

March 8th is International Women’s Day So, instead of a diatribe about sex, vaginas, or STIs, I’m going to stand on one of my soapboxes and give some props to the professional women in the Lifestyle. The day is meant to uplift women’s rights, access to medical care, access to reproductive care, and lobby against violence towards women We’ve still got an obnoxiously long way to go, and as members of the Lifestyle, I think we can agree on a different approach to this altogether. Maybe we can be the ones to stand up and make headway!

Life is a bit frustrating for women in professional positions.

We get looked over for promotions, patronized, and not taken seriously. I cannot tell you how many times a month I have a patient/family ask when the doctor is coming, and they seem genuinely surprised that I’m already here. This is often after I’ve already counseled them about their procedure and am about to operate on them! As a gynecologist, I get paid 1/3 the amount to biopsy a vulva as a urologist does to biopsy a scrotum (which is actually easier) I have trouble getting coverage for my female patients’ medications related to sexual health, but men can get Viagra online with barely a hello from a bot. It’s tough being a professional woman serving other women. Truth be told, though, it’s worth the fight and I’m up for it! I have spent a lot of time and effort lobbying politicians, posting on social media, and trying to educate, but it just doesn’t seem to resonate. It feels like I’m yelling into a void. I’m beginning to wonder if there’s a different way.

IT’S TOUGH BEING A PROFESSIONAL WOMAN SERVING OTHER WOMEN.

I’ve always approached people of different backgrounds with some amount of trepidation, afraid to step on toes. Growing up as a conservative Christian, I was supposed to be judging people left and right, but never could quite make myself do it I wonder if it was because I knew deep down that I was different too and it seemed wrong to call others out when I was just as different. When I entered the Lifestyle, I realized that there were other people like me - people with unusual kinks, desire for all genders, attracted to people in general and not a specific genitalia type I found that it was OK to be like this, and see others as humans and not in some type of specific labeled box (straight/gay, male/female, right/wrong).

As a group, LS folk seem to accept all comers. Doesn’t matter the kink, the fantasy, the sexual attraction type, the gender, or lack thereof.

Regan and I have never had better friends, ones that accept us and love us just as we are, kinks, quirks and all I think this exceptional acceptance may be the way to conquering the world for professional women. It’s one part “I don’t give a fuck what others think of me,” and two parts realizing that people are PEOPLE. They don’t have to be correct to be appreciated. They don’t have to be a certain gender to be treated with respect I think if all of us in the Lifestyle started acting like pineapples outside the pineapple grove, we might actually make a really big difference. We can and should lift each other up, praise each other’s accomplishments, and realize that we are not in competition with each other Love doesn’t have borders and it’s not a finite resource. Respect should be the same. Encouragement should be the same. Praising someone’s accomplishments doesn’t diminish your own.

We can all be radically accepting, irrationally loving, and unforgettably encouraging. That’s how Lifestyle people can change the world, by treating all the vanillas out there as if they were our pineapple friends (minus the sex)!

We are an unusually accepting group of humans.

BY: KALI

are le/group if

Dear Boston,

Most people get into the LS to explore something new and have fun! Approach every situation that way, and have fun with it! If you are shy/reserved, fake it till ya make it and pretend to be more confident. Over time you’ll start to actually feel more confident. I’d recommend, when getting to a club or event, being open to conversations with everyone! It’s the best way to meet people and give you the comfort and confidence to then talk to someone with whom you may be interested in playing. If you are still too shy to talk to someone, go play with your partner and enjoy the time, that’s what you’re there for!

“Being sent out by my wife to play with another woman or a couple. I don't consider it cheating, but I am having a tough time with the idea of playing without her. How do I get past that?” -

Charlie

Dear Charlie,

If you are having a difficult time with any aspect of the LS, I would recommend talking about it. Talk to your partner. Tell her your reservations and how you feel about playing alone. Talk through ways to get to that end goal, if that is something you are wanting. Maybe start by sending pictures to another woman or couple. Then you can progress from there Talk with the woman or couple and maybe start slow with dinner or drinks Progress to kissing and touching, then move forward at whatever pace you and your partner feel most comfortable! Baby step through it until you get to that place, or if you aren’t comfortable and don’t want to play alone, then that should be talked through as well. It is absolutely ok not to want to play alone. That should be communicated and perhaps you change play styles to only playing alone or any other variation you are comfortable with Things are continuously evolving within the LS You may not feel comfortable now, but after time you might be and that is ok! It's very no s you discover and identify things you like and things you mmunicate to help make the most out of your journey!

My Age Gap Relationship

When I first heard the term “age gap couple,” it caught me by surprise. This was before we’d gotten into the lifestyle and I was watching a video about how weird people thought it was For example, it didn’t make sense that people were giving my husband and I the side-eye when we told them we had a 19 year age gap between us We are so compatible with each other, and we felt like we fit each other like a glove. When I took a step back and really thought about it, I guess from the outside looking in, it would be weird. What would a man in his forties want with a girl in her twenties, other than bragging rights amongst his friends? We want what we all want: Happiness. Love. Companionship Almost a decade later, that’s exactly what we have

I’d just finalized a divorce, had an infant and a toddler, and was living on my own with my kids. I met Ira on a weekend getaway with friends: we were introduced by his brother, who I’d gone to high school with years before. We instantly clicked over music, similar interests, and a love of cooking for the people we loved. I couldn’t get over his gorgeous sky blue eyes and easy smile, and he was over the moon with my room-filling laugh He lived in South Carolina, I lived in Mississippi After that weekend, we kept in touch over Facebook, and a few months later, I made the trip to South Carolina to see him again. By the end of my trip, we knew that we were done for all other people.

When I first told my parents about Ira, they had many concerns. He lived a solid ten hours from me. He was childless at the time. He was only two years younger than my own mother. What in the world could we find in common?! I remember a conversation I’d had with my dad over dinner one night I’d just gotten off the phone with Ira, and I could see my dad’s face tense He asked me if I was making the right decision for me and my children, and if I felt like his intentions with me were more than carnal. I pondered his words and before I realized what I said, I told my dad, “He’s the greatest thing in the world for me. I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect man to walk into my life when he did. If I’d met him earlier, I wouldn’t have pursued him because I was still committed If I’d met him any later, I would’ve written off all men for the rest of my life ” Now, those two are best friends and I can’t get a sideways glance when they are talking.

What in the common? world could we have in

During late September of 2020, I brought the idea of swinging up to Ira. We had many conversations about what the lifestyle would look like for us. We watched TikToks of other swingers, read articles and books, and listened to podcasts about the Do’s and Don'ts Communication between us was great Our foundation and reasoning was right A few months later, we joined online swinger platforms. I was only 27 at the time. I got frustrated because many of the lifestyle groups wanted the couples to be 30 years or older. Many online profiles wouldn’t even give ours a passing glance due to their age restrictions. After a few hits and misses, we gave our local club a go. We didn’t talk about our age, we just let people decide for themselves if we were worth the risk After the first night in the club, we made many friends and had a great time We were doe-eyed the whole time because nothing prepares you for what you’re about to experience in a lifestyle club. But we had fun and had plans for a few double dates in the coming weeks.

When we disclosed to our friends that yes, we had a considerable age gap between us, they were immediately blown away. One wife actually made us pull out our licenses to prove that we weren’t joking. If you didn’t know our ages, all you’d see are two people who are head over heels for each other. Our friends now joke that I’m the youngest in the group, and Ira is the oldest. Even though it was a little worrisome at first, we have been able to meet some of the most accepting people that got to know us for who we are as people.

Now when I think about the term “age-gap,” I laugh It doesn’t feel taboo It doesn’t feel like we are doing anything wrong Much like the lifestyle, once people find out we are just like every other couple, they find all their imposition was completely wrong.

We are just two people, who love each other fiercely, and occasionally like to be naked with other people who are in love.

the hotwife dynamic

KYVIXEN, WRITER

'Hotwife' is a general term that is used in swinger communities to refer to a wife ora devoted partner who is allowed and encouraged to have intimate relationships with individuals (typically male) outside herrelationshipwiththeblessingof hersignificantother.Whydoesany ofitevenneeddefiningorlabeling?

It’s just sex, right? A label or category gives a general starting point or idea of what someone is interested in without a substantial amount of explanation. It gives a commondenominatoramonglikeminded individuals without a lot of explaining.Itisan“Ifyouknow,you know”situation.

Nothinggetsmemoreexcitedthan whenmyhubbywhispers“Youhave a date” in my ear in a crowded room My mind begins racing thinking about all the possibilities and the scenarios that may unfold that include me as the star of the show.Theanticipationbeginstorise - along with my temperature - the more I think about all the possibilities that could be part of the arrangement. My husband discusses my limits with my suitor and makes the arrangements for me. Confident in his curation, I play outmydesireswithinthefantasyhe hascreatedforme.Iamhishotwife. This article is for those interested in thehotwifedynamic.We’llstartwith an introduction to the term and then talk about the key aspects of “hotwifing” from my unique perspective.

The first key aspect is determining what aspectofhotwifingismostinterestingfor you Thisincludesdeterminingifyouasa couple intend to play together as a couple, separate as a couple, or as a threesome.Myhusbandlovestoshowme off, put me on display for others, and to seemelustedafter.Forhimtogetthefull experience, he is always in the same roomasIamwhenasuitorcalls.Ineedto be able to see my husband for the experience to be what I want. This sets a ‘boundary’ or ‘rule of play’ for us. He enjoysthepowerofbeingabletosayyes ornotomysuitersalmostasmuchashe enjoysthelooksonmyfacewhenasuiter hascalled Thesearemomentshecannot getasthesuitor.

Eachhotwifedynamicoffersaverydifferentexperienceforboth the husband and the wife. In each, the couple will likely work together to find ‘dates’; this togetherness can range from sitting together while on the hunt or him finding her obvious trail of breadcrumbs to her presenting him with a video of the entire experience,dependingonthekink.Whathappensafterasuitoris found is what really separates the different dynamics of the hotwifefromoneanother

...referstoawifeor partnerwhoisallowed& encouragedtohave intimaterelationships outsideherrelationship withtheblessingofher significantother."

'Hotwife'

Playing separately as a couple:

The most straightforward hotwife scenario and is generally referredtoasahotwifewhenboundbythesebasicguidelines.In this dynamic, after the right suitor is found, the wife will have playtime with him. Playtime can be a simple meetup for a few hours, an overnight stay, or even a weekend getaway. After the playtime,shewillreturntosharetheexperiencewithherhusband with stories, videos, audio clips, photos, and many other forms dependingontheirspecifickinksandfetishes.Heisnotphysically thereinthemoment,butisverymuchapartofwhysheisdoing whatsheisdoing.

Playing as a couple – together:

In this scenario, the husband is present on dates. His participation may range from being within ear-shot or in the roomandabletoofferadvice,suggestions,oreventakepart.For many hotwife husbands, such as mine, part of the excitement comes from watching the live, personalized porn his wife is starringin.Inthisstyleofplaythehusbandmaystayjusttowhere he can hear the activities, or he may be inclined to join in pleasuringhiswife

Playing as a threesome:

Similartothescenariosabove,manyMFMthreesomesfallunder thehotwifeumbrella.MFMsituationsgenerallyfocusmoreontwo men fulfilling the desires and fantasies of the female. This situationgenerallyincludesone-on-oneplaywitheachmale.This can mean the husband is being pleasured or standing back to admirehiswifeinactionortotakephotosorfilmtheexperience.

Discussing what aspects of hotwifing turn youonisalsoveryimportant.Forsome,the kink is far more relevant than the affair: it can include humiliation such as in the cuckold scenarios, in which case the husband is degraded or humiliated in someway.Theseverityofthehumiliationis subject to each couple. It can be seen in theplaytimehepermitshiswifetohaveor as extreme as her verbally degrading him while having playtime openly in front of him, again depending on the kinks of the individual couples. A “Vixen” is generally considered to be a hot wife that doesn’t wanttohumiliateherhusbandinanyform buttobethe‘trophywife’thatanotherguy gets to carry for the night - an honorary team member if you will - after the championshipwin.

Time after the date is just as important as time during for some kinks The term ‘reclaim’ is frequently used to describe the private time the husband has with his wife after playtime. This may occur immediately after the date or within a different time frame. Some kinks prefer no cleanupinbetweenromances,othersmay prefer assisting with the cleanup. Some husbandswillhavenointerestinanyofthe cleanup activities. Some will have their owntimewhensheisreadyagain.

Justasthelayersofabudopentoexposeaverybeautifulflower,thegeneraltermofhotwife hasmanydifferentaspectsandisincludedinmanydifferentdynamicswithintheLifestyle.If any of these dynamics or scenarios intrigued you, have a conversation about it with your partner. Tell them exactly what about the topic excites or intrigues you. Even if it is not somethingyouwanttoproceedoracton,havingtheconversationaloneisastepbetween youandyourpartner.Alwaysrememberthatnomeansno,practicesafesex,andplaywell withothers!

Time after the DATE is just as important as time during for some kinks.

E M B R A C I N G T H E D I V I N E A N D ( W I L D ) W O M A N W O M E N ’ S

March is commemorated as Women’s History Month in the United States. This yearly tradition began in 1908 as a day honoring women,andtheirfightfortheright to vote and improve their working conditions. Since 1980, the United States has observed the significant contributions women have made in our history throughout the whole month of March, as women around the world continue to fight for basic rights. However, Women’s History Month is about more than just getting informed. It’s about becoming inspired to make meaningful change In honoring Women’sHistoryMonth,thisarticle looks at the feminine energy that ispresentinallofus,regardlessof gender, and encourages us to embrace and honor the feminine aspects of the self and the world around us through understanding thedivinefeminine.

It's about meaningful change becoming inspired to make

KELSEY EVANS-AMALU, PHD

U N D E R S T A N D I N G T H E D I V I N E

F E M I N I N E

The "Divine Feminine" is a concept that represents the sacred, nurturing, and creative aspects of femininity- and can also be termed as a “receiving” energy. It is often contrasted with the "Divine Masculine," which represents the active, rational, and assertive aspects and can be termed as “giving/doing." It is important to mention that the use of the words "feminine" and "masculine" are not intended to be used as a form of gender prejudice. Rather, I am referring to an energy that exists both within all human beings as wellaswithinnaturearoundus

The concept of the Divine Feminine has been present in various spiritual traditions and religions throughout history, such as in the ancient goddess worship oftheMediterraneanandtheNear East, in Christianity we see Mary Magdalene or the Virgin Mary, in Hinduism with the worship of the goddess Shakti, and in Buddhism with the figure of the compassionate and nurturing bodhisattvaAvalokiteshvara.

In modern times, the concept of the Divine Feminine has been embraced by many individuals and spiritual movements as a way to honor and reconnect with the feminine aspects of the divine, as well as to counterbalance the patriarchal and male-dominated aspects of society and spirituality. This can involve practices such as meditation, ritual, and even acknowledgment of the feminine archetypes or goddess figures that have existed throughout history.

with the feminine aspects as a way of the divine

to honor and reconnect

T H E F E M I N I N E A R C H E T Y P E S

We are in the age of reclaiming all aspects of the feminine. The more we develop the qualities of these feminine archetypes and integrate them into our lives, the more nourishedandbalancedwewillfeel Femininearchetypesaresymbolicrepresentations of different aspects of the feminine psyche, personality, and behavior They are often used in psychology, literature, mythology, and spirituality to explore the different ways inwhichwomenexpressthemselvesandrelatetotheworld.

Representsthe abilitytoheal oneselfand others,both physicallyand emotionally

Thesearchetypescan beusefulinunderstandingand exploringdifferentaspectsofthe femininepsyche,aswellasin personalgrowthandselfawareness.Itisimportanttonote thatnoonepersonembodiesonly onearchetype,andthatthese archetypesarenotlimitedto women,astheycanalsobe presentinmen.

Inapplyingthisto EthicalNon-Monogamy,we willlookatoneparticular archetype-“thewildwoman”.

The Mother Represents nurturing, unconditional love,and protection

The Maiden Represents youthfulness, innocence,andthe potentialfor growthand change.

The Queen Represents authority, leadership,and sovereignty

The Wild Woman

Represents untamednature, sexuality,and freedom.

The Wise Woman Represents knowledge, intuition,and spiritualwisdom

The Healer

The Mystic Representsa connectionto thedivine, intuition,and mystical experiences

The Wild Woman archetype is a powerful and often misunderstood aspect of the feminine psyche. She represents the primal, instinctual, and untamed aspects of womanhood. She is often associated with nature, the wilderness, and the animal kingdom.

The Wild Woman archetype is not necessarily about being wild in the sense of being reckless or out of control. Rather, it is about embracing one ' s natural instincts and allowing oneself to be authentic,passionate,andfree The Wild Woman is often depicted as a powerful force of nature, untamed by societal norms or expectations. She is in tune with her inner voice and follows her intuition and desires

The Wild Woman is not afraid to take risks, explore her sexuality, be creative, or speak her truth. She is fiercely independent and selfreliant, and she values her freedom aboveallelse.

In modern times, the Wild Woman archetype has become a symbol of feminine empowerment and a call to action for women to embrace their true selves and reject the limiting beliefs and expectations of society. The Wild Woman encourages women to trust their instincts, connect with nature, and embrace their wildness, both within andwithout.

Embracingthe“wildwoman”meansembracing your sensual expression and allowing yourself to connect with your senses, your body, and your feelings in a way that feels pleasurable and authentic It involves accepting and honoring your unique sexual desires and needs, withoutshameorjudgment.

Herearesometipsforembracingyour sensualexpression:

Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and emotional needs by eating well, exercising, and getting enough rest. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as taking a bath, gettingamassage,orspendingtimeinnature. Explore your body: Take the time to explore your body and discover what feels pleasurable for you. This can involve self-pleasuring or exploring with a partner, but the key is to focus on what feels good for you, rather than trying to meet someone else's expectations.

Cultivate intimacy: Cultivate intimacy in your relationships by communicating openly and honestly with your partner(s), expressing your desires and needs, and listening to theirs This can createasafespaceforyoutoexploreyoursensual expressionanddeepenyourconnection.

Practice mindfulness: Practice being present in the moment and fully engaging with your senses. This can involve practicing mindfulness meditation or simply taking a moment to appreciate the beauty andpleasureofthemoment.

Let go of shame and judgment: Let go of any shame or judgment you may feel about your sensual expression. Remember that your desires and needs are valid and deserving of acceptance andrespect.

Byembracingthewildwoman,youcan cultivateadeepersenseofself-awareness, self-love,andpleasureinyourlife.

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4. 5.

By BustyBlueEyes

Just the Tip… on Taking a Good Dick Pic

A few decades ago, sending dick pics would have been unthinkable. Today, sending and receiving dick pics has become normal in the dating scene. Whether you’re an active bachelor, a hot husband, married and monogamous, or just a dick-in-hand fella with consent to send, there’s NO reason to be sending bad dick pics.

If you haven’t sent one, or sent some, or sent many… odds are you’re reading this article because you’re a bit compelled to take one or more sooner than later. Whether you choose to share that picture brings us to the most important aspect of sharing dick pics/nudes: Always obtain consent.

want not

DIRTY PICS GROSS ONES we

Talking before hitting send is crucial for multiple reasons. Not only is sending unsolicited dick pics illegal in many states, you want to be sure you can trust the lucky recipient of your spicy shares. Discuss taking the necessary precautions to ensure anything shared is only seen by the intended recipient.

Additionally, discuss possible boundaries or limits around content exchanges. This conversation doesn’t need to be awkward. In fact, it’s a super sexy way to chat about likes and dislikes and gives a better idea of where you’re each at on the sharing front.

Alright. So, you’ve had the conversation and you’ve got the green light to send. Now for the fun part taking the perfect picture. While the simple act of snapping a sexy pictureis ationofhowyourpartnerwillrespondtriggers the stadiu d center. To get the type of response you’re posingfor inmind:

ry of your proud soldier, you need to take the time to d on’t just lie down and flash us your POV shot. Try a s rmgriparoundthegoods.Ifyou’refeelingartsy,prop your phone on the table and lean over it putting the focus on your member and blurringoutyourbody.Don’tbeaf eyourshoulders andchest.

Properlightingishuge!Donotbealightingrook perfectlylitdickpic.Notonlydoesthatpresentyo makesyourdicklookbetter!Thereareplentyofch g g itdoesn’thavetobeoverthetoptomakeitcount.Youcanusethespotlightmethod shininglightdirectlyonyourdickandleavinglittletotheimaginationoramorestylish approach w dow of sorts Candles can be trickybutar

outsayingthataharddickandatoiletshould ot to say bathroom pics are bad. Who doesn’t dirty sinks, counters, and floors are a big time and a quick way to deflate any kind of spicy build-up. Taking a few moments to toss those dirty clothes in the hamper or washer for bonus points, makes a big differenceinyourpictureoutcomeaswellastheresponse Thepointis-wewantdirty pics,notgrossones.

Making a good impression means putting in the e thebathroomatworktosnapapicofyourdickbetwe g time and place to put together a worthy dick pic b e camera status below the belt. Take your recipient’s whereabouts into consideration they’re at work or out with family, that may not be the best time to be having a dick popupontheirphone.Theunderlyingmessageofcontentsharingmaybesexual,but mostpeoplearelookingforthingslikecharm,personality,andspice.

By Mrs. Samoan

The night started slowly with angst accumulating in both my husband's and my minds Tons of questions rushed through our heads as we walked into the hotel lobby We instantly made eye contact with a couple we had seen on a LS dating site I felt stared at and awkward, but not in the good way my exhibitionist side likes to be We walked from the lobby to our hotel room and observed that it was a dimly lit hotel and very outdated. We had hoped this wouldn't foreshadow the time we would have later. After settling into our room, we got dressed. He wore his vest and button-up white dress shirt and I wore my neon orange Mardi Gras dress with purple feathers that seemingly flowed off my shoulders. After some words of preparation, we walked down the hallway full of people mingling and to our vehicle to grab our alcohol. Reluctantly, after 5 minutes, we went back into the hotel to stash our alcohol safely in our room. The stares I had felt earlier were stronger, but much morewelcomed.

Overall we had a much better experience than we had expected.

Wecan'twaitto attendaneventagain!

I texted a couple (R and B) that we had contacted through the LS website we were using at the time and asked what room they were in, and they replied "120." I excitedly marched, just two roomsdown,intotheirroom, or so I thought. It turns out my anxious self misread the message and thought it said 220 – I apologized to the couple I had walked in on and went back to my room where I laughed for a few minutes until my husband wrapped me in his arms and told me it was okay to be nervous, but I needed to calm down a little.

After his words of encouragement and gaining accountability for my feelings, we went down to the correct room – 120. Theroomwasdarkwithonly LED lights enhancing the largedisplayoffloggers.

I found this intimidating at first, not realizing the relationship and respect which doms have with their subs I also noticed B as I walkedinthedoor,herdress shining from the LED lights like a pond on a sunny day We told B and R the story of the wrong room and we all laughed together After several minutes of chatting and getting to know everyone in the room, we headed down to the event in the ballroom We were checked in and the feeling of being overwhelmed reared its head again. There were hundreds of individuals in the room, mainly 40 years old and older. I had wondered if we were in the right place. R and B showed us where to go and we lined up to get a tarot card reading from their friend D. Once it was myturnIbentoverthetable and shuffled the cards. D seemed very inexperienced with Tarot cards but I shared I had a deck of my ownandcouldhelphim.

While I was doing this R asked my husband if he couldsmackmyass,andhe said"Withawifethatlooks-

-like a porn star, it would be a crime if I said no!" It appeared he was so proud of me. He loved me at that moment. Those feelings of unconditional love rushed through my heart and down to my groin as I felt another strike.

Once our cards were read, we began to mingle more and dance on the well-lit dance floor just in the other room. The way B looked at me was enticing and naughty. While dancing B asked Kenny and me if she could kiss us, to which we did not object. After making conversation about boundaries and consent we were very confident we had found our people. B leaned in and I grabbed her face, thefeelingofherlipslocking with mine instantly made mewet.

The feelings of angst and overwhelm that I had felt just hours ago had faded away. I felt as though I belonged. We ended our time on the dance floor with sexual innuendos, grinding on one another, and boundary talks. Next, we would head to their room where things escalated quickly. It felt as though we knew them for years. A recap of the night's events flowedthroughmyheadasI laydowntosleepthatnight. A replay began of the warmth of R's hand on my ass, the tingling sensation I felt as B's lips landed on mine, the feeling of D throbbing inside of me and thrusting himself into me countless times, and the feeling of being watched by my husband who was encouragingthemtoplease me.

about

After making boundaries

conversation &consent we were very confident we had found our People

By Influencer Jade Li

EXPERIENCING EXPERIENCING THE LIFESTYLE THE LIFESTYLE AS A AS A STRAIGHT STRAIGHT FEMALE FEMALE

As society continues to change, so have our attitudes towards sexuality. One such example has been the emergence of the swinging lifestyle, which involves couples engaging in sexual activity with other couples or individuals. While this may seem like a taboo subject to some, it has become increasingly mainstream in recent years It is my goal to share what it is like to be a straight, married woman in the swinging lifestyle in my life and through social media.

To begin, it is important to understand that every couple's experience in the swinging lifestyle is unique. Some couples may have rules around who they can play with while others may be more open to exploring with different partners. As such, my experiences may differ from others in the community I first became interested in the hotwife lifestyle four years ago after my husband, Brad, shared his desires and fantasies of sharing me with another man. I must say that I was curious and intrigued by his fantasy and that began our journey in the lifestyle of becoming a hotwife and swinging couple.

My husband and I had been together for over a decade by then and our sex life was still amazing. He told me that the lifestyle was something that always lingered in the back of his mind from previous experiences before our marriage I was open to discussing it further and it eventually led to taking the first step.

We began by creating a dating profile and attending events at a local swinger club. Doing this allowed us to take the time we needed for me to become comfortable with engaging in sexual activity with other men We found that the people we met were friendly and welcoming, and we enjoyed the freedom to talk openly about our desires without fear of judgment.

As we both became more comfortable with the community, we started attending more events where sexual activity was more prevalent. We both spent a lot of time discussing what we liked and didn’t like throughout. One of the most important aspects of swinging is communication. Before we engage in any sexual activity with another couple/single male or female, my husband and I always have a conversation about what we are and are not comfortable with This includes rules about testing/using protection, boundaries around certain sexual acts, or guidelines around how we interact with other couples.

In my experience, most of the people we have played with have been respectful and considerate of our boundaries However, if there is an instance where we feel uncomfortable or violated, we will be quick to communicate our feelings and exit the situation. It is important to remember that just because you are in the swinging lifestyle does not mean you have to say yes to every sexual encounter. I am regularly approached by couples where the female partner is bisexual, and they are looking for me to play with the male partner as well as the female partner too. As a straight woman I must turn down many of the couples that we are approached by I know my husband would love to see me have an experience with a female as well, but he is respectful of my boundaries. That is why open communication is a top priority for me. Most women I have met in the lifestyle are bisexual or bi-comfortable. I am 100% comfortable with bisexual women, even experiencing a FMF (female, male, female) experience as long as all parties are respectful of boundaries, especially with me being straight It is extremely important to discuss these boundaries in the beginning of communication.

As a straight woman I also have to consider the feelings of the female partner that we are having an experience with, whether it’s a single female or a couple In a situation where the female partner is bisexual, I am sympathetic towards how I might make her feel knowing that I am primarily interested in playing with her male partner and not her. It is important to me that I still give the female partner attention and respect in a way that I am comfortable with.

Being in the swinger lifestyle has its struggles, but I feel that sometimes it is hard to find couples that are open to playing with us due to the fact that I am straight In the past, most of our experiences have been with straight and bisexual men, as my husband is pansexual.

It has been my experience in the lifestyle as a straight woman that I experience the same feelings and emotions as everyone else. The feelings of excitement, curiosity, nervousness and fear of acceptance and rejection The best part is being able to have the once-in-a-lifetime experience with my husband and the connections and friendships we make along the way.

every couple's experience is unique in the swinging lifestyle

EROTICA

I read a ton of books. It’s my life. I also always strive to read the smuttiest book. Which… so far so good! I wanted to share about a book series I read last year. It has become one of the best series I have read It is called The Salacious Player’s Club by

Sara Cate

This series takes the reader on a kinky ride with four owners of a club (Cate will be adding two more books to the series but these have not come out yet and the main characters are not the owners) Salacious Player’s club started out as an app and turned into a kink club where people can be themselves and experiment with different types of kink and sex and see what they truly desire.

The first stop on our kinky journey is Praise. This book tells the story of owner Emerson Grant and his son’s ex-girlfriend Charlie. There is an age gap element along with a huge dose of praise kink. Praise kink is the desire to be praised with words of affirmation, especially coming from your partner.

The next stop is Eyes on Me, which follows the story of club owner Garrett and his step-sister Mia. Garrett’s kink is voyeurism which means he likes to watch and he finds out his much younger stepsister is a cam girl This story includes age gap and t) elements

Then there is Give Me More. This book follows club owner Hunter, his best friend Drake, and Hunter’s wife Isabel. Drake is out as bi-sexual, and while on a trip checking out sex clubs with Hunter and Isabel, he gets asked by Hunter to have sex with his wife while Hunter watches. “Isabel is the woman of my dreams, but she’s his And the exact reason I should say no is the one reason I say yes Because it’s not only Isabel I want ” It’s an MMF romance with some hotwifing thrown in (a wife encouraged by her husband to have sex with another partner, usually a man )

Mercy follows club owner Maggie She thought she was the vanilla one in the group but she finally takes the test and figures out she is a female domme The Salacious Players Club app matches her with Beau, Emerson Grant’s son. There are mutual journeys of finding out who they truly are and if they are right for each other. This story also includes age gap and female domination (FemDom) elements.

Highest Bidder and Madame are the last two books that will be coming out later this year This series is beautifully written and very kinky and explicit It features BDSM, eroti trigger warn

Neurodivergence & BDSMDYNAMICS

Navigatingthelifestylecanbeadaunting task.Doingsoasaneurodivergentperson is a different proposal. Add to that the navigation of the wide range of kinks, fetishes, and sexual interests of one’s partner(s) and it can be overwhelming. Not to worry, The Swinging Skeptic is here onceagaintoofferabitofhelp.Today,we are talking about living at the intersection of Neurodivergence (ND) and the myriad sexual interests under the BDSM umbrella. Today we’re going to do a *very* brief introduction to ND (for more, see last month’sSwingingSkepticarticle),thentalk a bit about what BDSM is. The weight of this article will discuss some of the impactstraversingboth.

So first, ND. ND is a non-medical term that helps us define people with atypical brain patternsofallsorts.ThetermNDshouldnever be confused to always mean disorders or “problems'' with brain function. It simply meansthebraindoesnotworkthesameway most brains do. ND includes folks with ADHD, Autism, PTSD, and various sensory processing disorders. Most of us either fall into the category of being a ND person or know and love someone who does. Many of us have ND partners. We all have the opportunity (and, somewouldsayresponsibility)tobeawareof and consider the needs of the ND person when engaging across all levels, to include swinging. Your author (PopPunkPineapple) does not fall into the ND category, but I do haveseveralfriendsandfamilymembersthat do.

PopPunkPineapple

Thishasbeenabitofalearningcurvefor

The Swinging Skeptic as well. I’m not, nor haveIeverbeen,apropermemberofthe BDSM community. Those of you who know meknowIamsomeonethatalwaysloves to learn… especially when pleasure is involved!Butherewego,andasalwaysifI say anything that requires correction, PLEASEwritetous!

BDSM is a community that includes, celebrates, and provides space for a variety of kinks and fetishes. The abbreviation entails the convergence of B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/S (Dominance and Submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism). In classical sociology, BDSM was seen as an outlet or an indicator of psychopathology (in other words, mental problems). Some of the best new scientific literature focuses on moving away from that, with a general viewofembracingBDSMasanavenuefor healthy sexual exploration and fantasy fulfillment. This has HUGE impacts for the NDcommunity.

While interest in BDSM does not denote ND, the generally accepting nature of the community makes it ideal for a person withNDtofitin.ArielPliskinhasafantastic piece in the journal Ought, discussing the various benefits the BDSM lifestyle has for ND individuals (lucky for us, the full text is available online and I’ve linked her article below). For those that know traits of autism and sensory integration disorders, of these will make a *ton* of sense. t play matches well with the ncy for many ND individuals to seek c and intense physical stimulation. ng concepts with deep, nearly stive detail is an attractive pattern ny in the ND community, which behavioral modeling within BDSM ng” a good match. The normative unication style within BDSM mics is explicit and direct, something omfortingtomostNDpeople.

ND people engaging in BDSM should be aware of themselves and attempt to connect their needs with the unique benefits that BDSM offers. Partners of ND individualsalsohavearesponsibilitytoknowandconsiderthoseneedswhenhelping to structure the dynamic for the individual couple and, when applicable, with other partnersjoiningplaysessions.Somekeythings:

• Rules and expectations should change rarely, and when they do change, only incrementally. ND individuals tend to accept change poorly, and genuinely need warning and space to accept change.

• Direct communication is not just helpful, it’s intrinsically necessary to the mental (and, with BDSM, physical) health of the ND person. ND individuals are often ill-suited to picking up social cues, and assumptions on behalf of play partners can go awry quickly.

• Guidance and directions should be practiced before intense play sessions. “Punishments” must be balanced against the submissive’s ability to correctly interpret direction and consequences. “Bratty” behavior may not be what it seems.

• For many, “Do” instructions are more useful and affirming than “don’t” instructions.

Finally, I want to wish everyone the best of luck. If you have personal experiences you’d liketoshare(onorofftherecord)wewouldbethrilledtotakeyouremails! https://www.kinkweekly.com/article-kink-weekly/neurodiversity-in-kink/ https://aspecc.ca/blog/kink-bdsm-and-autism-adhd/ https://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1107&context=ought https://www.researchgate.net/publication/336141106 A Systematic Scoping Review of the Preval ence Etiological Psychological and Interpersonal Factors Associated with BDSM

Talking AboutSex withour Children

Dangerous or Our Responsibility?

Lauren Elise Rogers

CHSE works with individuals and partners to restore positive and consensual approaches to sexuality and relationships She has studied the lasting effects of trauma, childbirth, parenthood, culture, and spirituality on human sexuality and believes that sexual health is an inherent, essential, and beneficial dimension of being human

Many of us think of sex as something individual and private about ourselves instead of a topictobediscussedopenlyandhonestlywithourchildren.YetIwouldarguethatwhenwe moveage-appropriateconversationsaboutsexualethics,power,pleasure,andjusticeout ofthebedroomandtothekitchentableweempowerchildren,families,andcommunities

In their 2009 Article, Mary E. Hunt and Patricia Beattie Jung conclude that ‘JustGoodSex’issexthatisdelightful, safe, responsible, and community enhancing.Butthemajorityofparents avoid conversations about sex with their children because they are embarrassed by their own lack of education

Many of us, myself included, grew up being told that it’s “not polite” to talk about sex But is this true? Or are we inflicting harm by silencing our children’s questions about bodies, relationships,gender,andsexuality?

By committing to a different way of communicating with our children, we can become Sex-Positive Parents. SexPositive Parenting creates open, accepting,andsafespacestotalkabout sex and sexuality. Built upon evolving familyvaluesthatarefreefromguilt and/or shame, SexPositive parents focus on diversity, responsibility, consent, safety and pleasure.

Ibelievethateveryparenthasarightandresponsibilitytodevelopsexualvaluesand assist their children to do the same, but this can be a difficult subject! Don’t worry, I developedatooltohelpyouasyouseektobecomeaSex-PositiveParent.

MytrademarkedsystemiscalledtheTRUSTSystemandstandsfor:transparent,real, understanding,smart,&thankful.

I You can do this! Remember, the best way to stimulate children's understanding of sexuality is to present ideas that require them to stretch their understanding of the world. Sex-Positive Parents don’t have to know everything, but they do focus on: diversity,responsibility,consent,safety,andpleasure. Forresourcesandindividualizedhelp,feelfreetosendmeanemailat lauren@sexedforyou.comorsetupaFREEconsultationbyclickinghere: www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult

The Great Kiss-Off Lip Color Testing Challenge

My purse holds a secret. Well, it holds many secrets. Most of which I don’t even know as I have yet to explore the entire thing in a single sitting. It is where I keep my wallet, key fob, Midol, setting spray, that receipt for a pair of shoes that didn’t fit back in 2019 that I swore I was taking right back to Target, and the absolute most important items of all: my lipsticks. I will leave my house in a bath towel before I leave it with bare lips. I spent most of my life avoiding lipstick. I would flaunt a full face of makeup from foundation to mascara then have the audacity to hit my lips with a flakey layer of lip balm, creating a pale, lifeless lip that would only be relevant during an audition for Body #2 on an episode of Law and Order: SVU.

By Lea _ Rose

After becoming a licensed cosmetologist and professional makeup artist a few years back, I began to play around with different lip colors and discovered the vast selection that exists. Sheer, opaque, matte, high gloss, lipstick, lip stain, liquid lip color, lip pots, etc. I discovered there were lipsticks that didn’t end up all over your teeth and there were more than just the two colors my mom wore (though I would like to add that my mom knew her colors and stuck to them, always looking beautiful). The more I learned the chemistry behind different lip colors, I started seeking out the ultimate in long-wear lip pigmentation. Over the years, I have discovered my favorite picks, but the technology is always changing and there seems to be a new lip product introduced on a monthly basis. Thanks to the rise of online beauty influencers and makeup artists demanding better performance from cosmetics, there are now endless options from which to choose. So, how do you choose? Let’s see if I can help.

THE LIP COLORS READY TO SERVE

While everyone will have different wants with their lip colors, this particular experiment and article centers around the longevity and transfer-free properties of four of the most popular lip colors currently available. My favorite lip color does have play in this experiment, with the other three being recommended by utilizing online reviews, beauty influencers, random polls, and chitchatting with my girlfriends. I recognize that this is in no way a complete list, nor a scientific experiment, but it can hopefully act as a guide when shopping for your new smudge-proof lippy. Be sure to reach out if there is a lip color that you swear by and I might just test it out in the future. Now let’s get into this experiment.

I’m sure my 10th-grade chemistry teacher will be thrilled to know that I followed as many experimental rules as I could remember. I tested each lip color at the same time each day and followed the exact same exfoliation and hydration routine prior to color application. I used the same three testing tools: a white paper towel, a cup of water in a clear plastic cup, and a banana to represent the kiss test, the moisture test, and the suck test. I told you, my chemistry teacher would be so proud. I also used liquid lip colors as these are most frequently determined to have the greatest long-term wear. Each color was worn for 12 hours through two meals and busy days in the office. While the goal of the experiment wasn’t necessarily to determine all-day wear capabilities, I will certainly comment on it. Extra tip: to remove completely after wear, use an oil-based makeup remover or witch hazel on a cotton pad. Be sure to rinse your lips before applying moisturizer.

THETESTINGTOOLS

I started this incredibly-not-really-scientific experiment with my go-to long-wear lip color: Anastasia Beverly Hills Liquid Lipstick in color American Doll (available at sephora.com for $20). This is a quick-drying, matte finish, one-step liquid lip. I applied two coats (allowing 60 seconds between applications) and another 60 seconds before starting with the kiss test. I was immediately impressed with the very faint light-pink transfer that took a full 2 minutes of searching to see on the paper towel. The moisture test also did well, leaving a bit more color transfer on the ring of the cup after submerging my lips into the water for 60 seconds. The suck test demanded a bit more work (I almost snapped the banana in half!) but still gave impressive results with only a few spots of transfer. 4.5/5 stars. I did reapply a bit after lunch as my lips were a bit dry and the color started to flake off slightly in those tiny areas. 4 out of 5 stars for 12-hour wear.

Next up for science was the Maybelline New York Super Stay 24 Color Liquid Lipstick in All Day Cherry color (available at CVS.com for $11.79). This liquid lip is a 2-step application process. The double-sided tube features a liquid color on one end and a soft-solid lip hydrating balm on the other end. I applied 2 coats of color, allowing 60 seconds of dry time between layers and before applying the moisture balm. The color is quite sticky prior to the application of the moisturizer but once applied, my lips felt light and hydrated and I almost forgot I had lipstick on at all! The kiss test did leave some transfer with the initial results smooth from the inner part of my lip but left no transfer with the second kiss. There was a high success with the moisture test as there was only one tiny dot of transfer left on the cup. The banana did not fare quite as well as there was transfer as I worked my way down the banana, but was only dotted as opposed to a full lip outline. 4/5 stars. I did not reapply the color at all but did use the moisturizer several times throughout the day. 5/5 stars for 12-hour wear.

Day three brought us NYX Professional Makeup Shine Loud Liquid Lipstick in On A Mission color (available at Ulta.com for $12). Also a two-part timed application, this lip color features liquid pigment on one end and a high-shine gloss on the other. Following the same 2coat application process as the previous entries, I began with the kiss test. Learning from the last test, I gave a “courtesy blot” before attempting the kiss test. Even with the initial blot, there was a noticeable full lip print of color transfer left behind. Unfortunately, it also took off most of the super high-shine lip gloss. It fared better with the water test, leaving some transfer behind but not enough to produce a full print. Sucking did present an opportunity for some color flaking but did not smear the color off of my lips whatsoever. 3.5/5 stars due to the lip gloss being short-lived. I reapplied the gloss after testing which lasted until I took my first sip of iced coffee an hour later at work. I touched up the color once after lunch. This earns a 12hour wear rating of 4/5.

The last to be put to the test was the Wet ‘N Wild Megalast Catsuit Matte Liquid LipStick in color Missy and Fierce (Amazon com for $4 73) This lipstick showed the greatest amount of transfer during the kiss test, producing two full lip prints on the towel but it showed no signs of smearing or budging on my lips. The moisture test also revealed the most noticeable transfer of the four tested lip colors on the cup after water submerging The transfer on the banana was visible but did not smear up and down the banana and was isolated to only the spots that experienced the greatest amount of lip pressure. 4/5 stars. I did not reapply this color but did notice a slight color lift around the 11th hour in the areas where my lips were becoming a bit dry 4 5/5 stars for 12-hour wear.

I can confidently write that all four lipsticks impressed me overall with their performance. The varying price points allow just about anyone who wants a high-pigment, low-transfer lip color to obtain one, two, or 27 if you’re me. The current trend of long-lasting lipsticks seems to be here to stay, which can be great for those of us in the lifestyle who want to be able to play without smearing ourselves on our partners. Though, according to Mr. K, “It depends on the situation. If we are at a club or about to go out, then my answer would be (for the lipstick to) stay in place. Other than that, it all depends on how spicy things get during play.” That might just inspire a future article on which lipsticks leave the best marks and smeared-up faces. Looks like I have more shopping to do.

FEEDING THE Libido Libido

When you’re thirsty, your libido is hungry! When swingers get ready for a night out, we all go through a tedious ritual to make sure our bodies and moods are as enticing as possible. Trimming, shaving, lotions, and probably an energy drink. But how do we prepare our libido? Most don’t. But, it is something you need to consider. Especially if you are over 40. Of course, we can get loaded up on alcohol, which relaxes our bodies and lowers our inhibitions. However, alcohol also deadens sensations and the ability to “rise to attention”. What if I told you our bodies respond better when they are fed well?

Eating better creates a healthier mind and body. When the body is fed properly, the libido goes on high alert. Here are some foods to keep on hand that will help make you the sexual Gods and Goddesses that we all know we are.

Let’s start with the heart. If the heart is healthy, its libido is healthy. The Mediterranean Diet is perfect for improved circulation. Good circulation is necessary for achieving the happy tingly feeling in our nether regions

Here are some examples of those foods:

a wide range of fruits and vegetables

whole grains and plenty of fiber

healthful oils, such as olive oil

and sunflower oil

seafood, nuts, and legumes

*Fun fact: In the language once used by the Aztecs- the term for avocados was the same as the term for testicles Eat your guacamole, boys!

Foods that will help you “keep that lovin’ feeling” are more commonly known as aphrodisiacs. Oysters are among the most famous aphrodisiacs in history. But don’t worry, you don’t need to slurp down a platter of oysters to get yourself all worked up. Oysters are very high in zinc. Zinc is a mineral the body needs every day for many vital functions, such as metabolism, stamina, and regulating levels of testosterone. Testosterone is the most important sex hormone.

Here are some oyster alternatives:

crab lobster

red meat

fortified breakfast cereal

pine nuts

Although foods high in zinc are essential, reducing stress levels is important also. Stress can zap a sex drive in seconds. Consider meditation, yoga, or fishing to combat stress. A multivitamin made from whole foods is also a great choice.

Now that you have a basic understanding of how to make a happier home for your libido, let’s talk about erections.

The flavonoids in many fruits may be beneficial to keep your little soldier at attention.

Foods rich in flavonoids include:

berries

citrus fruits

grapes

apples

hot peppers

cocoa

red wine

tea (green, white, and black)

Some studies are showing that watermelon may be effective in prolonging erection. It has an amino acid called l-citrulline. I-citrulline is being used to treat ED and is showing some very promising results.

Eat your beets! Beets are high in nitric oxide and nitric oxide increases blood flow and vasodilation. Ask any bodybuilder how to feed the muscles.

You have learned the basics of how to make a happy libido but I know how overwhelming it can be trying to eat right. So I will break it down for you.

Stop eating processed foods

Grab a Mediterranean diet

cookbook (heart healthy)

Find a way to destress (meditation)

Exercise (take a walk every day)

Multivitamins (whole foods)

One more thing. This doesn’t need to be a chore. We are a community that can turn everything into a sexual adventure. Food can be fantasy. Bringing the right food into the bedroom can elevate your senses and heighten your arousal, as well as promote healthy flora. Put the whipped cream aside ladies. It’s called a honey pot for a reason. Try some yogurt and honey with a cherry on top.

Happy munching!

"IFTHEHEARTISHEALTHY, ITSLIBIDOISHEALTHY."

From a ver knew I want remember w or a burles other girls Barbies I w pretending t performing twerking an best friend' turned 18 I pole perform (a day shift of course) at the local stripclubinJune2009.Ihadnoidea what I was doing on stage. I was a bit chubby and I thought stripping was like being a drag performer so I would perform all the songs and lip sync. Eventually, I learned my way. I remember the other women mocking me and laughing at me instead of helping me. I think that’s because we didn’t have TikTok or YouTube to look to for advice, only other veteran dancers. One day, a woman of color came up to me and said,“GirlwithanasslikethatIgotta teach you how to shake it!” Within a fewdays,andafteralotofpractice,I learnedhow

I then learned how to work the pole and give a great lap dance but I still hadnoideahowothergirlswouldgo home with loads of cash, in a recession, and after tipping out the bar, the dj, the house, etc. I would be lucky to leave with $100 on a good day and if I left with more than $200 Ifeltrich.Irealizedearlyon(about6 months in) that stripping really isn’t abouthowgoodofadanceryouare. Making money as a stripper is all about your sales skills and how you talk to people. Mind you, I was freshly 18 so I hadn’t developed manyreal-worldskillsyet.So,after6 months, I decided to quit dancing and continue on to a different career.

In 2020 the world was put on hold by a tiny little virus called the Coronavirus (I can’t believe it’s been 3 years). During this time, many people including me were laid off from my service industry job. I saw a lot of girls using Only Fans as a stream of income. I told my fiancé, “Hey. We like sex. We like performing. Why not make money off of it?” We hadfunwithitbutpromotingit became exhausting. I spent day after day promoting myself on Reddit and Twitter and it didn’t do me very much good. Most of my subscribers were guys from my high school who wanted to see me naked. I decided to quit posting, but I continued making TikTok videos because I enjoyed making them as a hobby.

Fast forward a year and I’m a successful “Swingtok” personality gaining 75,000 followers in what seemed like overnight. I decided to reenter the online sex work community viaOnlyFansandquicklyshotuptothe top percentages. In January 2022 I decided to give dancing a go again because my bartending job was the only thing vanilla in my life at that point. I wanted to be in a more sexpositive environment so I decided to dance again. I told myself if I was terrible I would quit after a month but I needed to give it some time. I realized very early on I was actually very skilled at this job and I really enjoyed it. I think a lot of it has to do with me being neurodivergent. I also help many people find the swinger Lifestyle when performingdancesforcouples. NowinFebruary2023,Ihavecontinued to dance as well as be a voice for sex workers. I now work with organizations that help destigmatize sex work. Hopefully, someday sex work will be decriminalized because of women and menwithvoiceslikemine.

As for this periodic article: you are going to read the real and raw truth about sex work. I will interview my colleagues, tell stories from my day-to-day that seem relevant as well as write educational information about sex work to help further destigmatize sex work.

What do sex work and swinging have in common you may ask? They bothfallunderthe“sexualfreedom”umbrella.Embracingswingingisthe same as embracing sex work. Sexual freedom is a fundamental human right. It is our duty as swingers to acknowledge, protect, and celebrate allformsofsexualfreedom.

F A S H I O N PLUS SIZE Springtime Ana Colwell

Spring is a time of renewal, which means out with the heavy coats and black fleece leggings, and in with a colorful new wardrobe! This Spring, we are looking for bright, beautiful, colorful, and playful in club wear. Cute rompers, everyone’s favorite sundress, and two piece outfits that show all the beauty that is us! Here are a few picks to help you get inspired with colorful and trendy outfits. When picking outfits online, always check the sizeguideandmeasurementstoensureitwillfityourbody.

Ourfirstpickisthisfun,pinksatinskirtsetfromFashionNova. The fitted satin look is bound to have all eyes on you! The dusty pink color is playful, with a sexy satin look. The mesh sleeves are great for keeping you cool, and can be worn off or on the shoulder, depending on how comfortable you are with the style. The bodice is stretchy and ruched to give the ladies ahotsilhouette.Thefittedskirtsitsatthenaturalwaistlineand has a hot slit and lace-trim hemline. The material doesn’t have much give, so be sure to double check the measurementsandreviewsforbestfit.

Nothing says Spring like a floral print! Check out this gorgeous split thigh dress from Shein that passes all the vibe checks. I love super affordable and hot outfits from Shein. This green leaf printed halter dress is exactly what you needed in your closet. The halter neckline with the peek a boo cutouts gives such a hot look to a sundress, along with the thigh high slitsthatgivejustenoughlegtomakeheadsturn!Manyofthe online reviews said how this dress on them turned heads all night and made them feel super sexy. This would also be perfectforacertainSecretstripcoming!

WhenIsawthisoutfit,immediately,itwentintomycart.With a bandeau style top, batwing sleeves, and an off body look, I had to have it. Pair it with cute strappy heels or wedges and you’re good to go! ASOS is usually hit or miss for me, but this oneisdefinitelyahit!Thechiffonislightandairy,perfectfora hotandsweatynightattheclub,andtheeaseofnobuttonsor zippersmakesitaquickonandoffforplaytimefunoranoutfit change. Anything that is light, makes me feel good, and comesoffeasily,isautomaticallyinmycloset.

The first thing I noticed about this dress was the robin’s egg blue color. This gorgeous dress from CurvySense has a cute and playful color, and the sexy deep plunge and faux leather look. Everyone loves a good fit and flare, and this one fits the bill for springtime! With its deep plunging neckline, the girls can definitely give a good show, and the short and sassy flared skirt is bound to look amazing twirling on the dancefloor. The cami style straps are adjustable and the back is elasticized for a better, more giving fit if you are blessed in thechest.Itislinedforamorecomfortable,breathablewear.

Springtime gives an air of fresh and feminine, which is what each of these outfits are. Perfect for a Lifestyle club, these also are great picks for date nights, vacations, and overall are closet staples. From the bright and beautiful colors,tothefunsilhouettesthese give, you’re bound to stand out in a crowd! These gorgeous picks are a plus size girl’s dream and are very affordable to fit into any budget.

MORE THAN

By ne

We all know the universal sign of swingers with the upside-down pineapple – but what about other alternative lifestyles? In this article, we will explore BDSM/Kink symbolism and some of the history behind it!

First, there is a universal sign – the Triskelion. Ok, you are wondering what the heck that even is, right? In its simplest form, a Triskelion is a symbol of three interlocking spirals. It is derived from Irish Celtic history, with the root word triskele, meaning three legs

If you recall from last month, BDSM is broken into three different subsets:

Bondage & Discipline

Sadism & Masochism Dominance & Submission

Hence, the three legs of the triskelion.

The additional adjustment from the ancient version to a more yin/yang design is not accidental. The circles represent the gray margins between where one segment ends and another begins and the ultimate division between Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and Sadism & Masochism.

But the symbolism doesn’t end there. As a matter of fact, that is only just the beginning. BDSM is full of symbolism, and being familiar with and aware of it could save you some uncomfortable interactions should you find yourself in an environment with other folks from the BDSM lifestyle.

Collars within the BDSM lifestyle are meant to show submission, devotion, ownership, and many other things. Sometimes, a collar is simply an added component of fun weaved into a play session to that of being taken as seriously as a wedding band. There are, however, a variety of collar types we will explore.

A collar is usually worn around the neck and made of leather or metal. Without a conversation with the person wearing the collar, you might not be able to differentiate between the various types of collars discussed hereafter.

Collar of Consideration – meaning the person wearing the collar is considered a submissive by the person who gave it. It can be changed should the relationship continue moving forward or removed should it end. It is not uncommon for those just starting to get to know one another in a BDSM relationship to begin here. However, it is not unusual for this collar to be skipped and for a relationship to go immediately into what one would consider a training collar.

Training Collar – again, literally means that the person wearing the collar is in training as a submissive to the person who gave the collar to them Think of this almost like a promise ring that hopefully leads to an engagement ring and subsequent wedding band.

Play Collar – one of the least committed types of collars, these are seen more regularly used to indicate that a play scene is about to begin, and removing the collar means the play scene is ending. Typically, the Dominant is the one that places the collar and subsequently also removes it –almost creating a ritual that begins and ends the play session.

Day Collar – a day collar is inconspicuously worn by a submissive In most cases; these are pieces of jewelry that wouldn’t draw attention to them when interacting within vanilla environments. This could be a necklace, a bracelet, a ring, or an anklet. Common themes you might notice with these include lockets, hearts, and infinity symbols

Permanent Collar – a permanent collar is the equivalent of a wedding band. It identifies and secures the permanent status of the Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship Many prefer these collars to include a locking mechanism where only the Dominant has the key. The alternative is a piece of jewelry the submissive never removes.

Removing a permanent collar is serious and usually means that the D/s dynamic has ended or is on hold.

Committing to wearing a collar is just as serious as marrying your partner. Like a wedding, collar placement is ritualistic and may occur in a private or public space

Often, a collar's public placement may occur within the walls of a dungeon or play space Regardless of type, placement, and collar removal are taken seriously It is a consensual agreement between both parties who have agreed to a set of boundaries.

If you see what you believe to be a collar., Dependingdepending on the established relationship, you may receive a verbal or physical gesture of confirmation. Sometimes, subs are not permitted to speak and may only be able to point Do not take this as rude, but as them following the rules of their relationship When directed to the dominant partner, all communication with the sub should cease. In this case, etiquette dictates you direct all questions to the dom.

Handkerchief code, or hanky code, was a covert code used predominantly by gay persons who were part of the BDSM or leather subculture during the 1970s and 80s. The code was used to indicate both sexual preference and availability During the mid-1980s, the code almost completely disappeared due to the HIV/AIDS crisis However, it gained traction again in the 90s, particularly in the BDSM lifestyle.

In short, wearing a bandana in your back pocket for sexual signaling is hanky code. In some cases, it may be referred to as flagging.

The way you wear your hanky is important; left side placement ultimately means the Dominant (or Top) – the giver. Right side placement would be the submissive or bottom/receiver. In the early adoption of the hanky code, there was a short list of colors. Over time, those colors have evolved into a lengthy list. The latest versions of hanky code even include different patterns and materials.

ting, or shocking!

COLOR LEFT RIGHT

Black Black Velvet Gray Light Blue Teal

Red Fuchsia

Mustard

Orange

Yellow

Heavy Sadist

Heavy Masochist

Has/takes videos Will perform for the camera

Rigger

Wants head

Cock & Ball

Torturer

First Fucker

Spanker

Hung 8+"

Rope Bottom

Cocksucker

Torturee

First Fuckee

Spankee

Wants 8+"

Anything Anytime Nothing at this Time

Piss Freak/Pissee Watersports/Pisser

Brown Scat Top

Scat Bottom

Ultimately, you should know that color, placement, design, and fabric all have meaning – and if you don’t understand or know what that meaning is, then it doesn’t hurt to ask.

STAFF SPOTLIGHT OF THE MONTH STAFF SPOTLIGHT OF THE MONTH

Kink-Aware Kink-Aware

How Do I Find a therapist?

First of all, you can use the KinkAware Professionals (KAP) website owned by the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF):

www.kinkawareprofessionals.org

On this website, you can search for kink-aware professionals across the U.S. and other countries. If you don’t find someone in your immediate vicinity, don’t despair. Call a practitioner in the nearest city or town and ask if he or she can recommend a therapist in your area.

Local kink-related groups are a good choice for seeking a therapy referral. If your local community has a message board or email list, you can also ask for referrals from those resources.

Your local LGBT resource center may be another good referral source. If you are unable to find a kink-aware professional, a therapist who maintains an LGBTfriendly practice may be a good alternate choice.

Another way to find a therapist is to ask your friends and family if they have had a positive experience with a kink-aware professional.

When taking a referral from a friend or family member, it’s always a good idea to consider whether you or the referral source will feel comfortable working with the same therapist. It is up to you (and your friend or family member) to decide. Some therapists also have policies about whether they will treat people who are closely involved with one another.

How Do I know which one is right for me?

Once you have a list of potential therapists, decide whether the therapist’s degree and training are important to you. This is a matter of personal preference. Some prefer to work with psychology professionals who hold doctorates, some prefer those who have had different types of training. Many decide that the level of training matters less than experience, personality and how it feels to talk to the therapist.

What Questions

Should I ask? Is It Okay to Shop Around?

Call a few therapists for more information when you are ready to set up an initial appointment. Make a list of questions that you would like to ask a therapist. Some suggestions for questions are:

1) What is your license?

2) How long have you been practicing?

3) Can you describe your style?

4) Do you do short- or long-term treatment? How frequently do you meet with your clients (once a week or more)?

5) What do you charge?

6) What is your payment policy? Do you accept insurance?

7) What is your cancellation policy?

8) Do you have an area of expertise or specialty?

9) Is your practice LGBT friendly?

10) Are you familiar with alternative forms of sexual expression? What are your beliefs about it? (You may want to state your specific community – BDSM, swing, polyamory, fetish, etc.)

11) Do you consider your practice kink- friendly? How many kinky clients have you worked with?

It is okay to say no. It is appropriate to speak briefly with a therapist on the phone and even to decline their offer of an initial appointment. You do not have to offer a reason, or you can simply say that you do not think you are a good fit. However, sometimes the fit is best assessed by how you feel when you talk to this therapist in person. Do you feel understood and heard? Did you have a good interaction? If you are in the middle of a painful process, therapy can be difficult and provoke feelings of sadness, anger, or pain, but you should not feel that the therapist is the cause of these feelings. It is okay to meet with several different therapists when you are deciding which one makes you the most comfortable. Once you have chosen a therapist, you should not meet with more than one person.

Kinky Is not a Diagnosis!

It is important to find a therapist who understands and supports your lifestyle. BDSM, fetishes, swinging and polyamory are not pathological disorders. Rather they can be a healthy part of your life and identity.

You deserve to find a therapist who has information about the diversity and range of healthy, adult sexual expression.

JOIN THE SWINGER SOCIETY

In 2023 for a great time at... In 2023 for a great time at...

W H Y A L T L I F E ?

You may be wondering why we’ve decided to launch a magazine. That’s a fair question! If you’re familiar with us you know that we host one of the nation’s top podcasts on nonmonogamy and get millions of views monthly on social platforms like TikTok, Instagram, and Clapper.

So why add something else to our plate and start a digital magazine? The truth is, ALT Life Magazine isn’t about us. It’s about you and the community of people who have a message to share and need a platform to do it.

This magazine is for people who may not be able to put themselves out there publicly on social media due to fear of judgment and backlash. Over the last year and a half of our journey into becoming social media influencers for the alternative lifestyle community, the one thing that’s remained consistent is the community and the people that encompass it. Alternative lifestyle people are some of the kindest and most genuine people on the planet. The world needs to hear your stories, to get to know you, to fall in love with you like we have.

Our hope is that if they can see you for who you truly are, then perhaps the hate, the stigma, and the discrimination will come to an end.

We believe one of the best ways to do that is to do what we’ve pledged to do from the beginning; to shine a little light on the community.

So, we’d like to encourage all of you to contribute, to share your stories, to be heard.

We want you to be able to show the world how truly amazing and valuable this community is. We hope that one day we can all come out of the darkness and not have to live in fear.

MAGAZINE