SHIFT YOUR FOCUS AND FIND GREATER BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE
By Jeremy Cutler, Director of Special Projects
Success Counseling How can Success Counseling be useful in a pandemic? Wow, what a topic! And perhaps not one perfectly suited for merely a few short paragraphs, but let’s give it a shot. We could start by saying Success Counseling is an internal control psychological framework that borrows from and builds on many other counseling and philosophical traditions…zzzzzzz. Uh oh. I’ve put you to sleep already. Okay, new approach coming up! How about I give you a bare-bones look at Success Counseling, and then
include some vintage SC questions you can ask yourself during times of high stress or hardship (2020, anyone?), even if you’re a beginner. The quick idea: Success Counseling looks at the world and what is happening around us (like a global pandemic) and helps to illuminate the places where we still have perhaps more control over how we think, act, and feel than we might realize. Instead of saying something “makes us feel” a certain way, SC helps us focus on the places where we do retain some power, even in very difficult circum-
stances. By introducing thoughts, questions, and actions with an inward focus, Success Counseling helps us to thrive and find balance in situations where it’s hard (or unwise) to fully control or change what’s happening around us. This definitely sounds applicable to the last 12 months! So, in honor of one of my favorite talk-show hosts, I’m giving you a “Top 11” list of Success Counseling questions that an expert camper or counselor might be asking themselves at regular intervals. None of this is easy. It takes practice, discipline and lots of mistakes. Give it a try!
The quick idea: Success Counseling looks at the world and what is happening around us (like a global pandemic) and helps to illuminate the places where we still have perhaps more control over how we think, act, and feel than we might realize.
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If I were being that best version of myself, how would I approach this situation?
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Am I remembering my basic instructions to be loving, powerful, playful and free? Am I replacing activities that don’t help me follow those instructions with activities that do?
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What are the things I can’t control in this situation? How much time and energy and power do I want to give to those things?
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Back in the non-pandemic “good old days,” what was I doing and what was I saying to myself when I hit rough spots? Can I 8 push myself to do those things and tell myself those things now, even if I don’t feel like it?
Success Counseling
What am I hoping will happen (in this situation)? Is what I’m doing getting me closer to that, or dragging me further away? If it’s the latter, does it make sense to try a different approach?
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TAKE THE TOP 11 QUESTION CHALLENGE
When the people in my life (boss/child/parent/teacher/student/ partner/friend) feel so annoying, maybe I can remember that they too are struggling and doing the best they can with the informa6 tion they have. Maybe I can seek to understand where their behavior is coming from, instead of just getting angry with them. Do I know anyone who seems to be handling themselves well these days? What are they doing and saying to themselves? How do I think they would handle it if their kids drove them crazy/boss 5 was unreasonable/partner wasn’t pulling their weight/parents were grouchy, etc.? What are my most important qualities and/or values? How can I hold onto these and bring them out on a daily basis? Who or what can help me do this?
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What’s most important to me? What are the big things that if I get right, will allow me to ignore some of the other things that might not go my way?
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To learn more or book a virtual workshop for your school or workplace email me: jcutler@ alohafoundation.org. Or ask your own kids, who are probably budding experts in their own right! In the meantime, hang in there and reach out if we can help in any way!
Can I still feel proud and strong if I handle myself the way I want to (being honest, working hard, sticking to my values), even if things don’t change as a result?
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What’s a small step I can take today that won’t necessarily get me to any proverbial finish line, but one I would take if I were serious about being the person I say I want to be?
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