All Things Feminine Magazine Issue 1

S P R I N G

2 0 2 3

MAGAZINE

How to DATE Like A Feminine Woman

Creating the Lifestyle That You Desire Balancing Work and Life

Why you Should Eat Seasonal Foods for Maximum Health Benefits

$19.95

WELCOME Hello Darlin, I am thrilled to have you join us as we

launch the Spring edition of our All Things Feminine Magazine!

As the founder and creator, I'm

passionate about women simply having a safe space to be their authentic feminine selves. I'm excited to bring you the latest insights, trends, and stories in

womanhood, relationships, work-life

balance, beauty, fashion, and feminine

lady lessons. My team and I have worked diligently to create informative, inspiring, and entertaining content, and I'm

confident you'll find something of interest in every issue.

Whether you're a woman in her early

twenties or late fifties, there will always be an insightful, thought-provoking, and

relatable article! We want to ensure every woman has something they can look

forward to with each magazine issue.

Thank you for your continuous love and support. It keeps us expanding in new

areas to help women become the best versions of themselves, and I hope you

enjoy this issue as much as we enjoyed

putting it together. If there's anything you'd like to see in future issues, or if you have any feedback, please don't hesitate to reach out to us at

newsletter@allthingsfemininemag.com.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

04 08 12 18 22

26

CREATING THE LIFESTYLE THAT YOU DESIRE Adrianna Mason Onubogu

SPRING FASHION & BEAUTY Kai Van Lee

BALANCING WORK AND LIFE Tanya Trotter

EAT SEASONAL FOODS FOR MAXIMUM HEALTH BENEFITS Denishi Blake

DATING LIKE A FEMININE WOMAN April Mason

ARE YOUR PRECONCEIVED NOTIONS KEEPING YOU FROM SPRINGING FORWARD Kelly D. Alexander

30 34

39

ASK APRIL ADVICE COLUMN April Mason

HOW TO LIVE A SOFT LIFE ON A BUDGET April Mason

8 WAYS TO MANAGE YOUR FINANCES DURING THE RECESSION Araina R. Graham

Creating The Lifestyle That You Desire Adrianna Mason Onubogu

By definition, a lifestyle is a way in which a person or group of people live, including their beliefs, values, and behaviors.

It is a combination of habits, attitudes, and

How do you know if you have a good

life. Because of this, everyone has an idea

you value. One woman’s current lifestyle

interests that make up an individual’s daily

of what they would like their lifestyle to look like. There is no such thing as a “wrong” lifestyle; however, only you know when

you’re not living up to your full potential. No pun intended.

enough lifestyle? Well, it depends on what could be considered mediocre, while

someone from the outside looking in could think it to be to die for. You must have an idea of the lifestyle you’re striving for and not let the persuasion or perspective of others play a role in your lifestyle.

How do you change and get to the lifestyle you desire? You remain intentional! The

only difference between you and someone living the lifestyle they’ve always wanted is

the strategy behind making it happen. The strategy that you need is solely based on

the lifestyle you desire to live. For example, say you are a woman who enjoys her job, but it’s time-consuming and leaves you

little time for self-care. You actually want to add self-care to your routine because you

notice you are running on fumes; you have to find a realistic strategy that does not

compromise your job or your mental and physical health.

So, what do you do? You can reassess your roles and duties of your job! Are you taking on more than you should at work? Are you

allowing them to add you to their overtime

list? Do you really need to put in 50+ hours a week all four weeks of a month? Or can you take a day or two to yourself so that

you can make time to implement your selfcare?

Your self-care, or lack thereof, can fuel

everything else you do or don’t do. This

plays a huge role in being able to enjoy

your lifestyle. If you can’t take a moment for yourself now, you and your lifestyle may end up suffering later. Now, this may or

may not be your story, and that’s okay. This

can also apply to the woman who loves her job, has time for self-care, and loves her

home but has not been able to get to that

What does that type of woman do? She

uses her natural skills and talents to create another stream of income that will allow her to purchase what she wants. She

doesn’t max out on her credit card, nor

does she take on any extra unnecessary

debt trying to look like she can afford those expensive things at the expense of her bank account.

next level of luxury she’s looking for.

"There is no such thing as a “wrong” lifestyle; however, only you know when you’re not living up to your full potential."

Here are five different skills you may currently have that you can use to your advantage to change your current lifestyle:

01

WRITING

If people have told you that you have a way with words and tell amazing stories, then you should consider becoming a writer! This can be done in

the comfort of your home, as many people are still looking for great writers for their blogs, websites, dating profiles, and social media captioning.

02

TEACHING

If you have been told that you know how to simplify things and break them

down in a way that makes things easier for people to understand, then you likely have a natural teaching talent! With this talent, you can have an online business tutoring your favorite subjects or overcoming a tough situation.

03

DESIGN

If you have a detailed eye, you can become a designer! Whether graphic designing, web designing, interior designing, or fashion

designing. All of these options pay very well and are always in high demand!

04

PHOTOGRAPHY

If you’re the person all your friends want to take their photos when you go

out, then you might be a great photographer! Not everyone has an eye for angles, lighting, and posing. You can use those natural talents to become freelance photographers or even photojournalists.

05

SOCIAL MEDIA

Social media has turned from a fun and entertaining pleasure to a full-out business. People are breaking into the business side of social media and are looking for someone to manage their social media, create reels, and even help them learn about new trends. You can do this from home and help multiple up-and-coming influencers without burnout.

As you can see, there are so many different ways for you to level up your lifestyle.

Regardless of what your lifestyle, situation, and circumstance might currently look like. All it takes is you being willing to set aside time to envision what that lifestyle looks like, believe that you can have it, and put a realistic plan in place to obtain it.

The All Things Feminine Social Club community was created to unite likeminded women who desire to live a fun and exciting feminine lifestyle. We aim to help women learn the importance of thriving in their femininity on all levels.

OUR community OFFERS: Events Live Streams Challenges Interest Groups Exclusive Content Accountability Partners Feminine Lady Lessons And more!

JOIN ATF TODAY! atfsocial.com

Spring Fashion & Beauty Kai Van Lee

Spring is here, and it’s one of the most exciting seasons for fashion. This is the perfect time to refresh your wardrobe and switch to more light and airy styles.

This is the best time to experiment with

Whether you’re a woman in your twenties or

Whether you’re looking to update your

your figure and reflect your personal style.

bold colors, florals, and new trends.

everyday look or add some new pieces for

sixties, plenty of stylish options will flatter

special occasions, there’s something for

For outerwear, opt for lightweight jackets

on the horizon, it’s the perfect time to

pieces will keep you warm without feeling

styles.

your outfits.

everyone this season. With warmer weather

like denim jackets or linen blazers. These

update your wardrobe and embrace new

too heavy and can easily be layered over

Wide-brimmed hats and sunglasses are

Women in their thirties often have a more

providing both style and practicality. Floral

spring is a great time to add a few new

also essential for the spring season,

prints are a must-have for spring, whether

in a dress, blouse, or skirt. These colors and

prints are perfect for adding a pop of color to your outfits and giving you a fresh and feminine look. Pastel colors like lavender,

baby blue, and light pink are also popular this time of year.

established sense of personal style, and

pieces that reflect that. Invest in a highlyquality denim jacket, which is perfect for

layering over outfits on chilly days, or try a

stylish tote bag to carry all your essentials.

A midi-length skirt or light, flowy dress are also great options that are both comfortable and stylish.

Strappy sandals and tote bags are a

must-have for spring fashion. Tote bags

are perfect for carrying all your essentials,

look, white sneakers are a great option that

"Pastel colors like lavender, baby blue, and light pink are also popular this time of year.

about experimenting with new trends for

Spring is the perfect time for women in their

colors, like a bright yellow sundress, or

highlight their best features. Wide-leg

while strappy sandals are comfortable and stylish. If you’re looking for a more casual

can be dressed up or down. This season is women in their twenties. Try wearing bold incorporate unique patterns like stripes or polka dots into your outfits. High-waisted shorts paired with a crop top or off-the-

shoulder blouse are a fun and flirty option for spring and can be dressed up with

heels for a night out or dressed down with sneakers for a more casual look.

forties to focus on flattering pieces that pants are a great option that is both comfortable and stylish and can be

dressed up with heels or dressed down with sneakers. A chic blazer or a tailored blouse is a must-have for the office and can be

easily paired with jeans for a more casual look on the weekends.

Women in their fifties and beyond often

Consider swapping out heavy foundation

confidence, and spring is the perfect time

more minimal makeup look with just a pop

have a strong sense of personal style and to showcase that. No matter your age,

accessories are a great way to add some extra style to your spring outfits. Embrace bright colors and bold patterns, and

consider adding a statement piece like a brightly colored scarf or a statement necklace to your outfits.

for a lighter tinted moisturizer and opt for a of color on your lips or cheeks. Nude or

pastel manicures are also popular for the spring season and will keep your hands

looking polished and put together. When it

comes to hair, spring is the perfect time to embrace natural waves or try a braided hairstyle.

A lightweight trench coat is a must-have

In conclusion, spring is a time for renewal

a t-shirt or dressed up with a midi-length

to embrace that than by updating your

for spring and can be worn over jeans and skirt and heels. Sunglasses, hats, and

jewelry are all easy ways to make your

outfits look more put-together and ontrend. A pair of strappy sandals or a

comfortable pair of sneakers are also

essential for the spring season and will

keep you comfortable and stylish all day long.

When it comes to beauty, spring is the

perfect time to embrace a fresh, natural look.

and rejuvenation, and there’s no better way wardrobe and beauty routine. Whether

you’re in your twenties or sixties, there are plenty of stylish and flattering options for

every age. So, embrace the warm weather

and have fun experimenting with new styles and trends this spring!

When it comes to beauty, spring is the perfect time to embrace a fresh, natural look.

Balancing Work and Life Tanya Trotter

What are you trying to balance in your life?

Some of us are trying to balance, control, organize, and run our households and careers.

Others may recall stressing out about finding balance with best friends, creating imaginary worlds with bubble baths, spa days, massages three times a week, or escaping all responsibilities just for a little me time. We want to run away from it all, but that’s not possible and would be irresponsible adulting.

Trust me; I have been there.

From my luggage being packed for weeks

With a schedule like mine, the first thing

year-old son’s clothes and

take more than one a day. That’s right; I

at a time, organizing and packing our 11homeschool/road school assignments,

rehearsing over 15 hours a week with my husband, living in and out of 20 hotel

rooms per month, performing at 55 shows

a month, greeting fans nightly, in and out of meetings or Zoom calls with our team, instructing the contractors who are

that I do is take a breather. Sometimes I always find time in my schedule to relax.

How I find the balance between work and life is by taking things day by day.

Sometimes hour by hour, and looking for ways to release and let go of things that don’t serve my day.

rebuilding our home and helping our 18-

My work and life are interconnected, so I

she find out what she wants to do with the

I are a duo called The War and Treaty; we

year-old daughter who also tours with us rest of her life.

Wow! You must be saying to yourself. When do you have time for yourself? Can a

schedule be balanced like that? My answer is probably not, and I have given up trying

to make it make sense for my fantastic life.

Writing out my daily schedule and looking

at my Google calendar sometimes makes me pause. You are right; it can be

overwhelming if you’re not living my life. I

have come to understand that there is no right way to live your life. You have to live your life your way.

I’ve learned through trial and error that

finding balance starts in the mind. Even

when we prioritize things, we have to leave room for error. We try hard to control our lives; however, being flexible and not putting unrealistic expectations on

ourselves often makes our lives better and happier. I know that it does for me.

have no formula to follow. My husband and run our company together, have

employees, and travel with our children.

My work and life are interconnected, so there’s no formula for me to follow.

Sometimes our children may get sick on the road. Sometimes my husband may

need a little more attention than he had the day before. Our tour bus tire may go flat, or our flight might be delayed, which may cause us to miss a show. Anything can happen, and I go with the energy that

challenges bring; however, I don’t let the

challenges alter my positive behavior. I’m

confident that my life is very different from yours. However, I’ve learned to accept the things I cannot change. I love what I do. I love my husband and children, and we have the life we choose to work.

A big breakthrough for me when it came to balancing work and life was to stop

comparing myself and how my life is

designed to anyone else’s. Everyone has a different family structure and work

schedule. It’s impossible to find someone whose life is designed identical to yours.

You may ask, do I ever feel stress from work and home? Of course, I do. When I feel

stress coming on from work and/or home life, I take a walk in nature or go outside to breathe in the fresh air. Being around

greenery and near water is therapeutic for me. There are many benefits to taking a

walk during your lunch break or trying to

add exercise as a priority in your schedule.

Doing this is also a great way to prioritize self-care.

Many of us feel we can’t balance things

because we haven’t learned to trust those around us. When we feel overwhelmed at

work or home, we must learn to trust whom we hire or work with.

If you feel overwhelmed at home, ask for help from your significant other, your friends, or a neighbor of your children.

Expanding my village of trust worked wonders for my mental health.

Going to a spa or taking a bubble bath for an hour did not work for me because I found myself going back into old behavior patterns. After I relaxed, I returned to trying to do it all. I quickly learned that my happiness is tied to my level of community.

Gratitude is powerful; it makes you see what’s stressing you out with different eyes.

We can simplify our lives by trusting the community we surround ourselves with.

Simplifying my life has made balancing it so much easier.

I don’t have to do everything. Therefore I

don’t have to stress over every detail of my day.

Simplifying my life allowed me to make

more room to enjoy my family and friends. I don’t have to be glued to my cell phone throughout the day. When your life is

balanced, you feel it. You feel joy. You feel a sense of relief, and your attitude will also

begin to change. Often when our lives are not balanced, we are not the best person to be around.

In order to make that kind of emotional

adjustment, I had to become a grateful person. I feel balanced with everything

around me when I am in a constant state

of gratitude. Gratitude is powerful; it makes you see what’s stressing you out with different eyes.

I believe that being grateful is the foundation of joy and happiness.

When we are at work, we should give thanks even if the job isn’t our dream job. If we are stay-at-home Mothers, we should be thankful.

The overwhelming desire for peace, serenity, and adding softness in our lives is in demand like never before. But perhaps we women can begin to implement small changes -- such as leaving our schedules open for a bit of adventure, backing off from being involved in activities that don’t bring us joy, and possibly returning to the direction of living an imaginative life where our emotions are not dictated by balancing our work and life. https://www.shelovesvintage.com

http://www.audibletrial.com/amason

Eat Seasonal Foods for Maximum Health Benefits Denishi Blake www.theplantbasedtransformation.com/

Seasons are a part of the natural world and are part of nature’s rhythm; they bring about

changes in the world. Seasons

change the way people live, work, and play. The four major seasons include spring, summer, fall, and winter. Eating seasonally means choosing produce in its peak

season, meaning the fruits and vegetables are at the peak of

their flavor and nutrition. This is opposed to eating out-of-

season produce that has been

shipped from far away and often picked before it’s ripe so that it can ripen during transport.

Did you know that as little as 125 years ago,

In order for certain fruits and vegetables to be

which produce and vegetable would grow

treatments, known as ripening agents, are

most people knew when to pick berries or best in their area? These days food is

transported long distances, and we take for granted that we can eat fresh berries in

January or have avocados every day of the

week. Yet many of us have yet to learn when

these fruits and vegetables are truly in season.

However, our modern lifestyle of “quick and

easy” has caused us to lose touch with these

basic principles. When foods are grown out of season, they cannot follow their natural growing and ripening rhythms.

available year-round, post-harvest

used. These include chemicals, gases, and

heat processes. Some produce is also coated with an edible film to protect it. These

processes allow foods to be produced in

mass quantities by slowing the maturation and ripening process. They also help to

protect the produce from bacteria and other pathogens on their long journey from the fields to your local grocery store. Eating

seasonal foods offers many benefits to your health, your wallet, and the environment.

Here are three reasons to eat seasonal fruits and vegetables: FRESHNESS & NUTRITION

When you eat seasonal produce, it is typically picked at its ripest stage, which maximizes the nutrient content of your

food. As soon as a fruit or vegetable is picked, it begins to

lose some nutrients due to oxidation. That’s why freshness

matters when you select fruits and veggies. Seasonal foods are also more flavorful since they have had time to ripen on the vine or tree for optimum flavor. Don’t believe me?

Take a trip to your local farmers market for a taste.

BUDGET FRIENDLY

Because seasonal produce is abundant during certain times of the year, prices tend to be lower than out-of-

season produce that may have been shipped from afar.

Eating in season allows you to save money without

sacrificing nutrition or taste. Shopping at farmers markets or joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture)

program are great ways to save money while still getting high quality seasonal produce.

Whether you’re looking for budget-friendly or eco-

So, what’s in season?

option for maximizing the health benefits of your food

seasonally but need help

conscious choices, eating seasonally is an excellent

while improving sustainability efforts and supporting

local agriculture communities around you! By taking

advantage of what’s growing locally each season, you

can enjoy delicious meals without breaking the bank or

damaging our planet! So grab a basket and hit up your nearest farmers market this week!

To find out more about the produce that’s available

where you live, check out: www.seasonalfoodguide.org

Are you ready to start eating figuring out where to begin?

Below are general lists of

foods by the seasons to help

you. Keep in mind that where

you live makes a difference in what’s available during each

season, but this can give you a general idea.

● SPRING Asparagus

Bean Sprouts Garlic Kale

ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT

Sticking to local produce can be a great way to

help discover what is in season near you, and

locally grown seasonal produce helps reduce

environmental damage associated with

shipping food long

distances by reducing carbon emissions related to transportation and packaging

materials used in shipping food over long distances. Supporting local farmers also helps preserve agricultural land and small

family farms throughout the country while promoting sustainable

Leafy Greens Mushrooms Peas Radishes Rhubarb

● SUMMER Apricots Avocados

Berries Cucumber

Eggplant Peaches Plums Tomatoes Watermelon Zucchini

● FALL Apples Beets

ecosystems. To explore seasonal foods in your area and support

Bell Peppers Broccoli Carrots Lettuce Pumpkin

CSA (community-supported agriculture). When you visit a

● WINTER

farming practices that protect natural resources such as water, soil fertility, biodiversity, and wildlife habitats in nearby

your community, try visiting your local farmers market or joining a farmer’s market, you can find fresh produce and meat at lower prices. Items are almost always organic, and you’re supporting

locals as well. This also guarantees you eat more seasonally, as

what is available is what nature can provide at that time. Or you could try growing your own produce in a small garden.

Brussels Sprouts Cabbage Leeks Oranges Swiss Chard Turnips Winter Squash

Learn how to awaken the feminine woman within!

TAKE THE COURSE

www.reclaimyourfemininity.com

For the Single Ladies Dating Like a Feminine Woman April Mason

Feminine women have a different type of dating life. If you don’t happen to enjoy your dating life, it’s possible that you’re not dating in a feminine way.

Don’t worry; it’s never too late to change your experience. Most women have a hard time dating more than one man at a time and instead choose to put all their eggs in one basket.

This is not considered dating in a feminine

Dating more than one person and reserving

themselves the opportunity not to be

Still, it keeps you from falling in love too fast

way because feminine women don’t allow thorough when making meaningful life

changing decisions. She understands that

choosing the right partner is detrimental to her future, and she can’t afford not to vet men properly. This means she absolutely cannot allow the first person who shows interest in her

your emotions may feel highly uncomfortable. and giving up your exclusivity way too soon.

Although it may be unusual for you, dating in a feminine way is a fun and intentional

process guaranteed to help you choose the

right partner. This way of dating is familiar to Eastern cultures, and it is the standard for

finding their

husband. It’s

to suck up years of

time to be

her time exclusively, especially if he

intentional with

hasn’t given her a

changing the

way you date

reason to be

so that you can

exclusive. Her time

is valuable, and she

truly have what

needs to ensure

your heart

that she invests her

desires: a love

time in the right

legacy.

person. How does she do this? By

For the Married

open and emotions

Woman First,

Woman :

keeping her options

Wife Second

hidden.

It is not typically in a woman’s nature

Sometimes the

being emotionally

wife can be

to date without

idea of being a

attached, but this is

much more fun

the critical

component of dating as a feminine woman. You must find a way to get

comfortable with the idea of saving your

emotions for “the one.” You can get to know someone without falling in love with them.

It’s genuinely not as difficult as it seems. It’s also easier to do when you’re getting to know more than one person at a time.

than being one. Only a few women

understand what comes with that title. The

type of patience, understanding, compassion, and forgiveness you need for your partner to make a marriage last can be exhausting. It’s

also very hard trying to balance the needs of others, especially if you’re married with

children, while also trying to balance your own needs.

Before you overwhelm yourself with

Without proper self-care your home will be

it’s crucial to remember what you need

aggravated and overall unhappy. You’ll be

everything everyone else needs from you, from yourself. You will never be able to give anything to anyone from an empty cup, and if you can’t remember the last time

you did any of the following, your cup may be running empty:

● READ ● PRACTICED YOGA ● MEDITATED ● DID A MINDLESS ACTIVITY ● GOT A MASSAGE/SPA DAY ● PUT YOUR PHONE ON DND ● GOT UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP ● ENJOYED YOUR FAVORITE HOBBY ● FELT PRETTY EVEN IF YOU WEREN’T

unbalanced because you will be very

more likely to “nag” about things you usually wouldn’t care about because you aren’t

well-rested or rejuvenated. Maybe yoga,

spa days, and massages aren’t your thing,

and that’s okay! Whatever your thing is that allows you to regroup and reset are the

things that you should make sure to keep high on your list of priorities.

No matter what we are doing and who we are doing them for, it's imperative to

remember that the most important person it needs to be done for is you. The same

grace and compassion that we give our friends and family, we must give to

GOING ANYWHERE

ourselves without any excuses. Everything

HAVING TO RUSH FOR ANYONE

and expectations for yourself.

● ENJOYED YOUR DAY WITHOUT

It can be very easy to be running on fumes and not realizing it or how it has an impact on your attitude, energy, and overall

disposition. This is what can make being a

wife even more stressful at times. Don’t feel guilty for putting yourself first, as that’s the

key to your happiness and the happiness of those you tend to regularly. This includes setting boundaries and saying no to

commitments that may cause you to be stressed.

Your self-care as a wife is essential

because whether your husband tells you this or not, you set the tone in the home.

will always fall in line after you set the tone

I give women the tools to make an identity switch and become the feminine woman who gets what she wants in love, business, and life. www.AprilMason.com

Personal Growth & Development

Are Your Preconceived Notions Keeping You From Springing Forward?

Contrary to popular belief, your views and beliefs

about yourself and your life hold more power than you can ever truly imagine. Because of this, the

perception behind your ideas and values you’ve

created since you were a child can keep you from living the kind of life you desire. It’s important to

become aware of false or unhelpful beliefs and replace them with more realistic, helpful, and positive ones.

Lack of trust is one of the biggest things in many people’s lives that keeps them from exploring new love, friendships, and opportunities.

Lack of trust is one of the biggest things in

Something you can do to start making

exploring new love, friendships, and

unhelpful beliefs is to pay attention to the

many people’s lives that keeps them from opportunities. If you currently feel you can never trust anyone again, that belief may

stem from a past situation when someone you did trust broke that trust. Whether it was a friend, parent, family member, or

lover, the pain may still linger, and the idea of trusting anyone again is nonexistent.

baby steps toward redirecting your

words you use when talking about those

unhealthy and nonhelpful beliefs. With trust and the fear you have of it, you must

consciously say things like “I know I want a relationship one day, and there must be

trust for it to work. It’s scary, but I know I can do it.”

Although your reasoning may be valid, how

Or “I know that I will trust again one day. I

that you will never trust anyone again, then

able to acknowledge the limiting and

is this belief impacting your life? If you say you’re saying that you’ll never give

someone an opportunity to show you that they’re trustworthy. You’re also saying that

need to take it one day at a time.” Being

unhelpful belief that you may have is half the battle.

you’ll never allow yourself to love again,

Something else that may be keeping you

love and be loved, but that doesn’t happen

on growth. As impressive as it would be,

which isn’t what you want. We all want to without trust.

from springing forward is your perspective you can’t grow and be comfortable simultaneously.

When things get uncomfortable, that’s how you know you’re evolving as a woman.

Growth is usually accompanied and

We have no idea on what is around the corner for us, so why resist change? It could be just what you need!

sometimes caused by important changes.

Regardless of what you may see on social

change as a regular part of daily life.

also about the journey. The process of

A great way to look at it is by accepting Work on completely letting go of the

tendency to hold on to life as it is and

welcome new changes as opportunities.

media, significant changes take time. It’s

change can be more meaningful than the benefits gained by the change. There are

three key reasons why growth and personal development take time to become a part of your lifestyle:

01

Old habits take time to die off.

It’s not easy to quit smoking or

give up sugar. Your habits may

not be that extreme, but the end results likely look like same. You

have been doing something so

I know that I will trust again one day. I need to take it one day at a time.

much that it’s become a part of

your everyday life, and you must

give your mind and body time to adjust while you’re making those baby steps to rid yourself of

whatever habits you have. Baby

steps are still steps that should be celebrated.

We live in a time where almost everything gets things done quickly, which is what

makes growth seem even more dreading and uncomfortable. When you don’t see

significant change quickly, it can be easy to feel like you’re not growing and everything is staying the same. However, growth and even personal development are more impactful when done slowly.

02

If it were quick, everyone would

It’s not easy to adjust to change or stop

mandatory to obtain noticeable

to reverse those unhealthy beliefs when

do it today. Time and effort are

success in any area of your life.

There are no shortcuts to a better life. Accept that developing

yourself is an ongoing process

that will continue for the rest of

your life. That will help you avoid the need to rush.

03

Your desires will change. As your needs are met, your goals will

change. It’s impossible to predict what you’ll want five years from

now, which makes sense because you’ll be a different woman by then. Your life is expected to

change over time. The way it changes is 100% up to you.

thinking negative thoughts, but you must try they seep into your mind. The fulfilling life you’re looking to live can only exist if you

believe you can have it, even if you have reasons and experiences that make you want to believe otherwise.

Ask April Advice Column

Q

I’ve been seeing a guy for the past four months that I have grown to really like. He checks off the majority of my boxes, and I can actually see myself being in a committed relationship with him. The problem I’m having is that the boxes that he doesn’t check are important to me, but I am not sure if I should be grateful and take what I can get since he gives me more of the things I want and need or if ignoring the boxes that aren’t checked will end up blowing up in my face later.

How do I decide if I’m asking for too much or not getting enough?

- Anonymous Houston, TX I highly suggest revisiting your list of core needs darlin. There is a big difference between wants and needs. Does he check all your boxes in the wants or needs area? If the boxes he isn’t checking are a deal-breaker for you, you may need to

reevaluate the relationship and consider whether you should

continue dating him. If it is a want and something that you can learn to live without or at the very least work on together as a

couple, it’s possible that all is not lost and not all time is wasted.

Either way, you won’t be able to make any decisions without

identifying your core needs and deal breakers. Once you do this, you can prioritize what’s on your list and see if he’s giving you what you want or what you need to have a lasting and successful relationship.

Q

I have never been married, and I have no children, but I am interested in a guy who is recently divorced with one child. I am not in any rush to have children, and I am okay with dating a man with a child. His child lives with their mom, and he seems to make a lot of time for me, but it’s fresh, and I have never dated a divorced man.

Although he is amazing so far, I want to know what things I should be looking out for before I get too emotionally invested.

He’s been very open with what he wants and what he’s looking for, but I don’t know if anyone can really be healed after a marriage that quickly after their divorce. Am I being too doubtful before anything gets started?

- Anonymous Rochester, NY

I am a strong believer in there not being a time limit on healing. Some people heal sooner than others

simply because they’re ready to move on with their

lives and try again at something they failed at, while

others may take longer because they aren’t prepared to deal with the pain that comes with healing and

forgiveness. Either way, it’s important to have open and honest communication with him about his

feelings and intentions to ensure that both of you are on the same page. The most important thing you

should be aware of is the reason behind his divorce, and if any patterns could affect the relationship he may be trying to have with you. Being with anyone

recently divorced is not always easy because of the emotional, mental, and even financial rollercoaster

they are usually experiencing while they’re trying to piece together what their new normal looks like.

I am a strong believer in there not being a time limit on healing.

Q

I have been struggling with becoming more feminine because I don’t feel as attractive as the women that are usually the example of femininity. Can women who aren’t as attractive still be considered feminine?

- Anonymous Atlanta, GA Some of the most beautiful women that I’ve seen didn’t believe they were beautiful

so my answer to your question is absolutely, yes. Femininity isn’t tied to beauty, and beauty isn’t about what other people think but what you think about yourself.

Confidence is the key component you need to be a feminine woman. Here are a few tips that may help you rebuild your confidence and self-esteem so that you can truly see how beautiful you really are and then begin your journey as a feminine woman:

Focus on your self-care. This includes your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Stay active, get enough sleep, and eat well.

Challenge your negative thoughts. When you notice yourself comparing yourself to other women and their appearance, pinpoint why exactly you might feel less than them. What do you feel you’re lacking and why?

Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. This includes paying attention to how you talk to yourself.

Please remember that beauty is not perfection; it starts with believing that you are. That’s the only way others can believe that you are too.

Feminine Lady Lesson How to Live a Soft Life on a Budget April Mason

Contrary to what many believe, living a soft life doesn't have to cost you an arm, a leg, or a bag and a half. A life of ease without the need for hardship, sacrifice, or unpleasantness is what we refer to as a "soft life."

It's a life of ease, calm, comfort, and

It's critical to realize that this social

you should work hard in every part of your

everyone has equitable access to a good

intentional delight. It rejects the notion that life (ie. work 50 hours a week, exercise 10

hours a week, or being booked and busy).

Some people do it as a form of protest

against the idea that they must toil through life for others for years while surviving on the barest minimum.

movement is more about ensuring that

standard of living than luxury and riches.

Essentially, living a soft life includes having fun, being comfortable, and being

easygoing. It's where you choose things that help you feel less stressed.

You're probably wondering how you can do

Budget

things to consider when igniting your soft

living a soft life, it is very necessary if you

this without being rich? Well, here are a few life this Spring:

Adopt a Soft Mindset

I'll describe a "soft" mindset as an attitude

or perspective that allows one to live from a position of least resistance toward

prosperity, ease, happiness, and comfort.

It's an essential part of capturing the genuine meaning of living a soft life.

Place Joy First

To experience joy, you must practice joy.

You attract excellent things when you are

joyful. Plan your days in advance, and don't be afraid to do so. Sometimes we limit our joy by being too afraid to actually make

plans in advance. Sometimes we worry so

much about what may happen by then, but that worry of planning our future will keep

us from practicing the very thing needed to live a soft life: joy, fun, and comfort.

Although it's not the most exciting aspect of want to live the way you want. You must be conscious of your financial activities. Then, consider whether those expenditures are

contributing to your happiness and peace or whether they are consistent with how you wish to channel your energy. For

instance, do you spend $200 weekly eating out with friends merely to avoid feeling left out? Would you feel more at peace if you

reduced that expense by half and watched Netflix with your dog once a week instead of once a month? Before you make any

long-term adjustments to your spending, choose any practical budgeting strategy that works for you and stick with it for at

least a month. Choose two things that will make your life "softer" at the end of the

month, and then figure out how you can adjust your spending to create room for

them. Make sticking to the budget simple

and enjoyable to increase your likelihood of success.

Minimize and Simplify

You can save money and significantly

reduce mental stress by simplifying your

life. To save room, think about moving into a tiny house, RV, or studio apartment.

Spending less time and money on things that don't necessarily results in a more

relaxed lifestyle where you have more time to do something like go on regular

A "soft" mindset is an attitude or perspective that allows one to live from a position of least resistance toward prosperity, ease, happiness, and comfort. It's an essential part of capturing the genuine meaning of living a soft life.

weekend vacations.

Adapt Gentle, Cost-Friendly Lifestyles

If you can't pick up and move, you can

attitude that you aren't going to hurry and

always reorganize and declutter! We often don't need a new home. We need a new

vision of what our current home should look like. It's hard to have that vision when

nothing is in its place, and you're hoarding things that you should have thrown away long ago. Simplify your living space and

create a theme. Once you do this, you can

remove anything that does not go with that theme keeping your spending to a

minimum and the likeliness of enjoying your space to a maximum.

Living the soft life is actually just having the rush through life in an effort to achieve

everything that society tells you that you should be doing, including all the fad

pleasures. For instance, experts advise

taking a nature walk or drinking coffee and meditating for 30 minutes in the morning

as examples of living a gentle life. Do you

enjoy riding a bike near the beach, reading, or listening to music? None of that cost's money and the impact that your life is priceless.

Invest First, Then Avoid Debt

In conclusion, if you're willing to be sensible

stress levels. If you desire a car or a house,

and financially. You only need to lift your

High debt levels inevitably result in highyou may have some debt. However, the

debt you incur should be much below your

income level and should be used to secure your future. Refrain from incurring debt to

purchase the newest clothing or to keep up with social media trends. Put the

information into a debt calculator first to discover how much it will ultimately cost

and make a plan, you can live comfortably head to recognize that luxury sometimes is

hidden in the little things. Work on the inside just as much as the outer (if not more) because no amount of opulent life

enhancement will make you happy if you

aren't comfortable with what you have and where you are.

you before considering making a credit

Feel free to join the All-Things Feminine

sometimes, being extra will give you long-

lady lessons.

purchase. It might seem "extra," but term peace.

Don't Be Harsh With Yourself

Talking to ourselves is something we

frequently do. What tone does your inner voice have? Does the voice in your head often have a nasty and judgmental

attitude? It's okay if it is. Childhood is when negative self-talk usually begins. It's

possible for phrases like "you're so stupid" and "why would you do something so

dumb" to get engraved in our minds. But we can silence that voice and replace it with a kind and sympathetic one. If you

frequently talk negatively to yourself, try posting affirmations around your home and saying them aloud whenever you

come across them. Although it might feel

strange initially, you'll eventually get used to connecting yourself with good things.

Spend some time considering where those negative thoughts originated and put out the effort to overcome them.

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8 Ways to Manage Your Finances During the Recession Finance Tip Your finances will shift when your mindset shifts

Araina R. Graham

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! I know it's easier said than done, but enough is enough!

How long will you continue to live paycheck to paycheck?

How long will you continue to cry wondering how you are going to make “ends meet?" I know it might sound harsh, but sometimes the truth hurts. I personally know the

feeling of being stressed out about money, not knowing

how a bill might get paid. Trust me... you are not alone! I

will be here to guide you through a process that I call the Financial Detox. In order to begin this process you must

change your mindset. As you go through the journey of

your financial detox process, just know your finances will shift when your mindset shifts.

Once you get your finances back on track, you will be able to handle the “unforeseen” situations without being stressed.

Now, I know the thought of being in a

medical problems, stress, anxiety, helping

yourself questions like: How am I going to pay

do understand that sometimes there might

recession can be stressful. You may ask

my bills? How am I going to provide financial support for my family's needs? Will the recession ever end? Do I have enough

savings? All of these are great questions to ask yourself, and it’s never too late to start.

WHAT IS A FINANCIAL DETOX?

According to Webster’s Dictionary a “Detox” is a regimen or treatment intended to remove

toxins and impurities from the body. Just like a body detox, a “Financial Detox” is the process

of removing or abstaining from situations that will have a negative impact on your finances.

Common challenges that people may face that could negatively impact their finances are: No savings plan, overspending, no investments, not enough income,

loved ones, and the list goes on and on. Now, I be unforeseen events that may occur in your life, but once you get your finances back on track, you will be able to handle the

“unforeseen” situations without being stressed.

THE FINANCIAL DETOX PROCESS

Before the process begins, you have to identify what is causing your financial situation to be in the state that it is in. Below are a few

questions you must ask yourself before beginning the process:

What are some of your financial struggles?

What caused you to be in the financial situation that you are in?

What will you do differently once your finances are back on track?

Here are the 8 steps to help begin your Financial Detox process: Step #1 - Get Organized In order to get organized you must first develop a process. Make sure to use a system that can organize all of your paperwork.

Here are some system I use to stay organized:

Accounting system: I personally use Intuit products. Intuit offers many accounting softwares such as QuickBooks,

QuickBooks Selfemployed, Mint, Turbo Tax, and so much more.

Whether you use Intuit products or not, make sure you are

using a system that can capture all of your financial data.

Storage system: There are storage systems such as Dropbox, Google Drive, Sharepoint. etc.

Step #2 - Take Inventory On What You Already Have A lot of times, we buy things not realizing that we already have it.

Before going shopping, start taking inventory of what you already have. Sometimes we overspend because we are not organized.

Start checking your pantries and closets before going shopping.

Make a list before you go to the store and stick to it.

Step #3 - Create a Budget Creating a budget will allow you to see the bigger picture. Sometimes we are oblivious to the reality of our finances because we have not

written it down. Whether you physically write it down or type it into your computer, it is important to know how much money you are making and spending. I would suggest creating some type of system. You can create the following:

In your budget, make sure that you list out all sources of income and expense...personal and business transactions.

Excel Spreadsheet - Excel has budget templates that you can use.

All you would have to do is input your information directly into each cell.

There are numerous budget apps that can be accessed through your phone, ipad, tablets, and computers. Check your App Store and Google Play Store to see what budget app best fits you.

Step #4 - Eliminate Debt It is time to face your fears and stop running from your creditors.

Pull your credit report. List out all the creditors you owe. Contact your creditors to see if you can make payment

arrangements...many times they will settle with you because they want their money. I recommend using the Snowball Method. List out all of your debit and start paying off your debt from the smallest to the largest balance.

Step #5 - Generate More Income More income...more income...more income! If you have a skill or

trade, go to Indeed and see what types of job offers you can find.

At this time, there are so many work-from-home jobs available

during this recession. If you don’t want to work from home, see if

there are job opportunities in your local area that will be willing to hire. Also, think about starting a business. Starting a business will allow you to create your own schedule and create your own stability.

Step #6 - Coupon Clipping: Yes I said it...”Clip Coupons”! Clipping coupons is not the way it used to be. I found this wonderful app called Ibotta. Ibotta is a

coupon savings app that allows you to clip coupons right from

your phone. Ibotta also offers you cash back rewards when you purchase gift cards through their site. There are other coupon savings apps such as Fetch, RetailMeNot, and Groupon.

Whichever app you decide to use, let's get the most bang for our buck.

Step #7 - Create an Emergency Fund/Savings: One of the things my family and I do to create an emergency fund is doing a Savings Challenge. There are so many to choose from, but

one of my favorite is the 52 Week Savings Challenge. Once we save up our money, we then take that money and invest into something.

52 Week Savings Challenge: Save the amount of money

according to the calendar week. Week 1 save $1, week 2 save $2, week 3 save $3. Continue that process until you reach week 52, and by the end of the challenge you would have saved $1,378.

Wouldn’t that be great just to have an extra $1000 in your pocket?

Step #8 - Retirement/Investment: There are investment options such as stocks, bonds, IRAs, 401Ks and more. If you work for an employer that offers stock options, consider investing. Many times, your employer will match the

dollar amount that you put in. Outside of your employer, there are investing companies that specialize in the stock market.

Whichever option that you choose, allow your money to make money for you.

Araina R. Graham Website: www.argfinancialservice.com Email: agraham@argfinancialservice.com QuickBooks ProAdvisor: https://proadvisor.intuit.com/app/accountant/search?searchId=araina-graham USATF Three Rivers Association: VP of Finance http://www.usatf-threerivers.org/contact-directories/