S.4A.34-35
J.5
As to those women On whose part ye fear Disloyalty and ill-conduct, Admonish them (first),547 (Next), refuse to share their beds. (And last) beat them (lightly); But if they return to obedience. Seek not against them 5411 Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High. Great (above you all). If ye fear a breach Between them twain. Appoint (two) urbiters. One from his family, And the other from hers;549 If they seck to set things aright. Allah will cause Their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, And is acquainted With all things.
547. In case of family j<trs four steps are mentioned, to be taken in that order: (I) perhaps verbal advice or admonition may be sufficient; (2) if not, scx relations may be suspended; (3) if this is not sufficient, some slight physical correction may be administered: but Imam Shari'i considers this inadvisable, though permissible. and all authorities arc unanimous in deprccating any sort of cruelty, evcn of the nagging kind, as mentioned in the next clause; (4) if all this fails, a family council is recommcnded in h'. 35 below. 548. Temper. mlgging, sarcasm, speaking at each other in other peoplc's presence, reverting to past faults which should be forgiven and forgottcn.-all this is forbidden. And the reason given is ch;lnlcteristic of Islam. You must live all your lifc as in the presence of Allah, Who is high above us. but Who watches over us. How petty and contemptible wilt our little squabbles appear in His presence! 549. An excellent plan for settling family disputes. without too much publicity or mud-throwing, or resort to the chicaneries of the law. The Latin countries recognise this plan in their legal systems. It is a pity that Muslims do not resort to it universally. as they should. The arbiters from each family would know the idiosyncracies of both parties, and would be able. with AlIah's help to effect a real reconciliation.
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