Alice & The Mums Magazine Issue 3: Breastfeeding Edition

A L I C E & T H E M U M S Issue No. 3 | April 2020 | Breastfeeding Edition

Mastitis Awareness

Learning to Latch

Sarah Geach tells us about her experience with mastitis as a warning to new mums

A guide for you and baby

ASK THE DADS

16 Breastfeeding Stories From nursing in Sweden to tandem feeding

The dads tell us their top tips on surviving pregnancy hormones!

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Issue 3

BREASTFEEDING 04 Editor's Welcome 06 Tandem Feeding Twins 09 Hayley & Esme

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12 Sian's Story 14 Feeding 3 16 The Editor's Story 18 Laura's Story 20 Feeding with Allergies 22 Shilah's Story 24 Boob Hats 26 Feeding in Sweden 29 I Can, I Will

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31 The Pressures 34 Breastfeeding- The Facts!

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36 Learning to Latch 37 Mastitis Awareness 40 Why Breastfeed?

43 Emma's Labour Story 45 4moms Mamaroo Review 46 Meet the Cover Star 47 The Dad's Corner

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48 Next Month's Issue

Editor's Welcome When it comes to parenting, this is

spotting tongue ties, and making time

quite possibly the topic I am most

for themselves when another human is

passionate about. Breastfeeding has

attached to the nipple like a vacuum.

become a massive part of how I believe

Breastfeeding brings with it a barrage

to parent best (attachment parenting

of miseducation and at times

all the way!) and has truly opened my

judgement. I hope this read and the

eyes to how beautiful, strong and

stories shared bring an insight for those

powerful the female body can be.

who have never done it before, reassure

Not only can we grow babies on the

those who are struggling to, and

inside, but we can do it externally too.

encourage those who are unsure.

It seems so simple and perfect, but

Despite the mumbles and grumbles of

unfortunately this is not always the

mastitis, 'covering up' and night feeds,

case.

breastfeeding does something that no

In this issue, I explore my own

other substance ever could. Our's milks

struggles with the initial stages of

ability to protect and medicate our

breastfeeding, and you'll probably spot

humans with a lasting impact on their

a common theme of how much more

lives, to me, is simply magical.

support mums need in education of breastfeeding, learning to latch,

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Alice x

FROM FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE

BREASTFEEDING STORIES

THE POWER OF LIQUID GOLD

THE FEELING OF FULLNESS, THE PRESSURE AND THE JUDGEMENT

Tandem Feeding Twins

BY SKYE BROWN As I breastfed my firstborn, Rio, who turned 2 the week my twins were born, I intended to breastfeed our twins without even giving it much thought. We wanted a surprise in both pregnancies but we knew that our babies were identical and shared a placenta. Because that meant it was a high risk pregnancy I had fortnightly scans and saw a consultant each time so I had many opportunities to discuss my feeding intentions and concerns. I was often asked how I intended to feed them.

I experienced some difficulties when breastfeeding Rio and felt confident that I could overcome any challenges again. I read a few blogs and books to understand whether I wanted to breastfeed them separately, as you would when feeding one baby, or to tandem feed. I heard a lot of ‘it’s brilliant if you can feed them for even the first few days or six weeks’ and ‘most mums combination feed’. I felt the expectation to

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breastfeed wasn’t so present as it was when I was carrying just one baby.

When Eliza and Cecelia were born they were 37 weeks and delivered by emergency cesarean section (unfortunately they were both head down but Eliza turned when my waters broke.) They were both so sleepy during the daytime I had to undress them to cool them down and splash tiny bits of water on their little cheeks to gently wake them as they needed to be fed every 3 hours. I tandem fed instantly and it felt quite natural because I couldn’t bare the thought of one baby waiting for me and wanting to be fed.

The midwives warned me that most twins drop more than 10% of their birth weight and unfortunately by day 3 Eliza dropped 11% and

"I experienced some challenges when breastfeeding Rio and felt confident I could overcome any challenges again."

Cecelia dropped 9% so we created a feeding plan with a Consultant before we’d be allowed home. I needed to express after every feed and give them top up feeds.

It was difficult to cup feed them but I didn’t want to introduce bottles at that early stage in case they didn’t want to feed from me. I was exhausted and found recovering from surgery whilst needing to handle two babies very difficult. I lost 1.2 liters of blood so I was also very weak.

Eliza and Cecelia slept all day (apart from when I woke the to be fed) and they were awake all night wanting to be fed. I couldn’t sleep much in the day because they still needed to be fed every 3 hours and with cup feeding and expressing it left hardly any time in between. When my husband or mum wasn’t there to help cup feed the other a healthcare assistant would help which I was so grateful for as I wanted to keep them on the same routine. But the assistant buttons never stopped ringing on my ward and there were three other twin mums who were also first-time mums. Without having the experience of having Rio two years earlier I honestly think I wouldn’t have coped. Knowing how to feed, change, wash, dress, and wind a baby was fortunately something I already knew but the midwives kept saying they couldn't believe how natural it came to

me and I was walking around carrying them both and feeding them both like I’d been doing it for months. I think that’s why I got very little help whilst I was in hospital. Because I had to learn how to pick up and hold two newborns at the same time or pick up one baby whilst cradling the other, I quickly became very confident. But I had no choice and I think I was in survival mode.

After 8 days we were discharged. When we settled at home the tiredness hit me and I started to realise that this would last a long time and trying to juggle looking after Rio as well was overwhelming. Rio went to nursery in the mornings and then had a 2 hour afternoon nap so fortunately I only had him for 2 hours a day before my husband finished work. During feeding I would read to Rio or fill a shoe box with fun sensory things and his favourite snacks. It was difficult but we slowly found a routine that worked and I continued to tandem feed the girls every 3 hours during the day time. The main reason I did that was so that I could ensure one baby wasn’t unhappy waiting for my attention and I wouldn’t then be feeding every 1.5 hours up to 1 hour which I felt would also be better given that I had a toddler as well to look after. But during the night

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once they were discharged from the care of

I stopped breastfeeding Eliza and Cecelia when

midwives, I started to feed them as they woke in

they were 18 months old. It was a difficult decision,

the night as I didn’t need to feed them every 3

but they were starting to demand feeds like

hours anymore. I found it easier in 1 way because I

newborns again and were incredibly fidgety! It

could feed them lying down and rest myself whilst

took a couple of weeks for them to enjoy cuddles

feeding them but I soon realized that it meant I

instead of me feeding them. I am so proud of my

would be awake much more often during the night

tandem feeding journey and so pleased I persisted

than if I fed them together. So I started to wake

with it. But my best advice to anyone considering

the other baby when they first woke. As they

whether to breastfeed twins, is it very possible but

approached 4 months I tired to feed them every 3-

have an open mind and be kind to yourself if your

4 hours but they often woke every 2 hours and

plans need to change.

because I didn’t want the other baby to wake I would often end up feeding that baby lying down and I entered the cycle of feeding them sometimes together and sometimes separately.

This continued until they were about 11 months old and I felt that I couldn’t cope any longer. I always felt exhausted and was seeing a physio for shoulder pains that she felt was due to posture from tandem feeding for so long day and night.

So once they turned 12 months they had cows milk in a cup at bedtime and we taught them to self soothe gradually. It was very difficult but resulted in them sleeping much better and once they were 15 months old they were sleeping 12 hours uninterrupted.

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If you want to read more about Skye, Rio, Eliza & Cecelia, then follow Skye's Instagram: @Skye_Jennifer_

AT JUST 6 HOURS OLD, A NEWBORN ESME HAD A STROKE.NOW 7 MONTHS ON, READ ABOUT HOW BREASTFEEDING HAS HELPED IN HAYLEY & ESME'S JOURNEY.

HAYLEY & ESME'S STORY YOU CAN READ MORE ABOUT HAYLEY & ESME OVER ON THEIR BLOG AND INSTAGRAM PAGES:

@ESMEANDME WWW.ESMEAND ME.COM

"I KNOW THAT AS MUCH AS SHE NEEDED THE MILK AND THE COMFORT, IT WAS SOMETHING THAT HELPED ME TO HEAL AS WELL."

BY HAYLEY STANBROOK Before I had my daughter I didn't know if I

I felt utterly useless.

was going to breastfeed, and if I'm being

She had finally arrived, she was so little and

honest with myself, I am not sure I even

I'm her mother, I am supposed to be protecting

wanted to. I could see the benefits of bottle

her, holding her and feeding her and I wasn't

feeding especially when out and about with

even able to see her. That evening, the

baby and I felt uneasy about having

midwives told me that if I could produce some

that pressure to breastfeed on demand. My

colostrum to give to her they could put it in her

mindset on this changed after my

feeding tube and that it was really good for her.

daughter, Esmé was born.

That night, I had to stay in a room on post

We had a rough start. When Esmé was 6

natal, with my husband, surrounded by the

hours old, as I was trying to breastfeed her, she

sounds of screaming, crying, happy newborns

had a stroke in my arms and was rushed away

whilst my own baby was in the NICU ward. It

by a team of doctors and midwives. I was told

was the hardest night of my life, I couldn't

she then had a series of seizures and it took a

sleep with worry and the only thing I could

couple days for the doctors to get them under

think to do, was to get this colostrum to my

control with the right medicine. So, having

baby. I spent 7 hours, squeezing and syringing

barely gotten to hold and hug and feed her,

colostrum, obsessively. I had a 30 hour labour,

she was taken away from me and placed in an

and I was sore and so tired but it didn't matter

incubator. I was devastated and felt shocked

because I knew that she would get this

and lost and broken all at once, but most of all

colostrum and it would help her, and that's all I

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could think about. That night, I decided that as soon as they'd let me get my hands on her I was determined to be feeding this baby myself.

On day 3, I was allowed to take her out of her incubator and try to feed her, I felt nervous and emotional, her feeding tube and wires got in the way, but she still latched easily and I remember just wanting to cry, with joy and sadness at the same time. At this time we didn't know what EsmĂŠs recovery was going to look like, how bad the damage from the stroke was or how long we would remain in hospital but I remember as soon as we started feeding

these several times!). But despite all the

this feeling of just relief and peacefulness

inconveniences, the difficulties, and the pain, I

washed over me because she was in my arm

don't take it for granted, I often think about

again.

that first sleepless night I spent obsessively

That's not to say feeding her was easy, she

extracting colostrum with a syringe and how

was cluster feeding by day 5. My room was in

far we've come. I've always felt incredibly lucky

the ward next door and I felt constantly

to be able to give this gift to my daughter

anxious that she'd wake up hungry and I

and know that as much as she needed the

wouldn't be there, at one point I had been up

milk, and the comfort, it was something

for 27 hours straight, feeding and holding her.

that helped me to heal as well.

My husband was amazing, he was by her side

I understand why breastfeeding is sometimes

or my side every possible minute he could be. I

called nursing. Breastfeeding helped me and

was able to use breastfeeding as a coping

my daughter get through a very shaky start.

mechanism to help me deal with the trauma

EsmĂŠ is now 6 months old, and we've been

and bond with my baby so I can't imagine how

incredibly lucky, her doctors say that all signs

hard it must have been for him, not being able

point to her making a full recovery from her

to do this.

stroke with minimal impact to her health and

I've heard plenty of women say you either can

she is a strong, happy and healthy baby. I have

or you can't breastfeed and there seems to be

been able to exclusively breastfeed and though

this attitude of if you can then great and that's

it's not always been easy, I'm proud of the both

it and you get on with it, no complaints

of us for being able to get this far in our

because plenty of women aren't able to. No

breastfeeding journey and I have no plans to

one talks about cluster-feeding, mastitis, milk

stop feeding her until she feels ready to do so,

blisters and biting (I have experienced all of

she is so worth it, my brave and tough little girl.

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P E R S I S T E N C E

BY SIAN SAXBY

SS “How’s it all going? Is he feeding well?” the midwife asks me. It’s day 3 and our first day at home since the arrival of our perfect little firstborn, Harry. I feel on top of the world, overcome with love for my son and husband and full of pride in myself for getting through what ended up being a bit of a traumatic birth.

“It’s going really well, I think!” I beam at her, full of confidence. She wants to see us feed so I oh-so-carefully put my tiny, delicate newborn to the breast and try to guide him to feed, like the lovely assistant nurse on the postnatal ward showed me. I look over to the midwife, waiting for her approval. Instead, she frowns at me, and suggests I should be forcing his head onto the breast. My smile falters. Doubt begins to creep in. Have I been doing it all wrong?

My fears are confirmed when she puts him on the scales and I see concern in her eyes as she looks up at me. He has lost 12.3% of his body weight. We are almost readmitted to hospital but are allowed to keep him at home if we agree to feed every 3 hours – even through the night – and to top up with 30ml of formula after each feed. Harry won’t take the formula, so we have to take him into the Newborn Centre the next day to be weighed again.

Thankfully, he has gained a little weight.

Maybe I do know what I’m doing after all.

Or… maybe not.

Fast forward 5 weeks. Harry is screaming uncontrollably all day. He won’t sleep unless he is upright on my chest. He

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feeds constantly, for hours at a time. I am on the phone to the GP or Health Visitor every day, in floods of tears, convinced something is wrong. They keep telling me that everything is fine; babies cry; he’ll grow out of it. He won’t go in his pram, or his car seat. Unless he’s feeding, he’s crying, and his latch is horrendous. There is obviously something wrong but I have no idea what it is or where to turn. One day he cries so much he loses his voice.

The silent screams are even worse than the ear-splitting ones.

Our GP finally gives in and reluctantly diagnoses silent reflux and prescribes Ranitidine. It makes not even a iot of difference, but I am convinced now that reflux is the problem. Eventually, a new mum friend I met online suggests taking him to an osteopath for an assessment. I immediately book an appointment but we can’t be seen for 3 more weeks. My husband takes me home to stay with my mum so I can have a bit more help in the day, because the screaming and feeding is relentless. I feel like an utter failure.

Finally, our appointment with the osteopath arrives. She takes one look at Harry’s head and immediately pinpoints the problem. The plates at the back of his head haven’t moved into position properly. They are still overlapping, making him extremely head sore. No wonder he’s been crying; the poor thing has had a constant headache since birth!

Finally – answers; a plan. After 4 sessions, he is completely transformed. He is

A MUM WHO WOULD NOT LET ANYTHING GET IN THE WAY OF A FEEDING JOURNEY AND POWERED THROUGH WHEN IT FELT LIKE THERE WERE A MILLION HURDLES IN THE WAY

"I AM HOLDING MY BREATH BEFORE EVERY FEED HOPING I'M NOT GOING TO BE USED AS A TEETHER." smiling. I am finally able to take him to baby classes and lay him down to play.

I’ve had someone from the Families and Babies service come out to help us with his latch now he isn’t so tense. (For anyone struggling, try the “koala position”; it changed my life!)

For a few months, things go well. Just as my confidence starts to return, just before he turns 4 months old, he suddenly refuses to feed. He has been snotty and irritable for weeks – since his 12 week injections – but this is another level. I have always been able to comfort and calm him through breastfeeding but all of a sudden he is pushing my breast away whilst simultaneously screaming with hunger. I feel like we’re back to square one.

Another panicked trip to the GP, who diagnoses bronchiolitis but allows us to keep him at home providing I can get him to feed. Mercifully, he finally latches on and has a decent feed, but we have 3 very nervous days during which the only way I can get him to feed is when I’m standing up and swaying with him.

We keep going.

His first two teeth appear about a week later. I get my first nipple bite. Two more teeth appear. Then two more. I am holding my breath before every feed, hoping I’m not going to be used as a

teether.

We keep going.

Harry is almost 8 months old now. He is still exclusively breastfed. The wonderful moments of calm I get with him throughout the day fill my heart with a love like nothing I have ever felt before. I love that I am his safe place, that my breast is still his favourite place to fall asleep, that I am able to continue nourishing him with my body. It hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it.

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FEEDING THREE

By Stephanie Cooke (@hanney_homeandgarden) Three different babies and three very different feeding experiences...

As I speak anecdotally of my experiences, I'll do so with honesty. Sat here now, I'm feeding my third baby with my breast that is two cups bigger than the other and a nipple that enjoys looking at the floor (will they ever match again?!). Being able to produce the Liquid of Life has, on the whole, been great. The amazing properties it holds has reduced illnesses, provided comfort, supported growth, provided bonding and all the other associated health benefits. But being truthful, a large part of my breastfeeding decisions was about weight loss, control, and pure laziness. I'll expand.

The first community midwife I met terrified me. One joke about doubling up on mince pies and she was off, telling a doomed future of obesity, birth complications and failed relationships.

Turns out the latter did happen, but it wasn’t down to a mum tum. I wanted the pregnancy weight gone. And fast.

Breastfeeding is demanding. It uses a huge amount of calories and I did lose weight very quickly with my first two.

Although not so much with the third. Not that I'm bothered- in my chaotic life energy levels overrules crop tops. Control is a funny one. With heightened hormones and new mum anxiety I hated the idea of handing my baby over to anyone. The irrational thoughts that the baby would ALICE & THE MUMS | 14

suddenly forget me or not need me anymore. I needed to be needed, and that if I let someone else feed my child, that my bond would be forever broken. At this point, I was not mentally healthy.

Now, I'm free from postnatal depression, but I still value attachment parenting. I want to feel all that closeness and physical connection through the early years. It’s worth missing the nights out, or even a full nights sleep. On the flip side, the responsibility of being the main provider of milk (side note: I tried expressing but none of mine took kindly to a bottle) can be hugely overwhelming and in my darkest times I wish I had known that asking for a break is never going to be detrimental to mum or baby. I have been extremely fortunate to have stepped into breastfeeding fairly smoothly.

The hideous ‘milk coming in’ has left me in tears while trying to relieve my concrete boobs. There has been the odd nipple blister, mild mastitis and the odd toddler chomp but compared to others, a pretty easy journey physically. It becomes so easy to whip an udder out. It solves nearly every grumble or whine, is totally free (more dollar for coffee) and requires no sterilising. A lazy girls dream.

Mentally however, it’s not always been easy. Here's my next contradiction.

Feeding my first nearly broke me, but it

also made me. If it hadn’t of been for her reliance on my milk, I'm not sure how things would have gone. Yet the constant demanding, and lack of personal space or sleep was hard! It was shock, I felt totally unprepared and unsupported. many nights were spent sobbing onto her tiny body as she screamed with colic and I was desperate for anyone to take her and fix us. Our journey ended fairly abruptly at 6 months when I suddenly became physically unwell and unable to feed.

Relief.

It was very different with my second. He arrives a few years later, latches well and fed effectively. My mental health is strong and I loved our feeds (the many, many night feeds). I was obsessed with him and was secretly smug whenever he’d refuse the company of others. Our journey naturally ended at 17 months, and it was the right time for both of us. He still loves a hand down my top, or a skin-to-skin cuddle for comfort and we share and incredible bond. Although, it would be nice if he slept past 5am before dragging me down for snuggles in front of Mr Tumble.

And now it’s baby 3’s turn. I like to think I'm pretty relaxed, and it helps to trust the baby and follow their cues. It’s now second nature, and the ideas of bottles and formula terrifies me, as it's just so unknown. I have no set timeline for weaning, it’ll happen in its own time. With this being the last baby, I feel no need to rush into the next stages.

As for the thoughtless comments from others, the stares across the café and the vulgar words of men- they can take a run and jump! Here I am, successful and proud! Surviving the overwhelming moments and every long lonely night. An advocate for positive and support parenting, however that may be!

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PAGE 7

The Editor's Story ALICE KING For me, the question of whether to breastfeed or not was a conversation I never even had. I knew it is what I wanted to do without question. I knew that biologically and scientifically it was what was best for my baby.

Led by an ex-midwife mother, I was determined to make it work and made myself aware of all the support that would be on offer. Frantically researching different positions, how to get a stubborn baby to latch and where the nearest milk bank was in case I needed donations, I was ready to embark on the most beautiful experiences of my life.

The first 10 days of breastfeeding were by far the most difficult, draining and frustrating for me. Day 1 Ted latched straight away. He was an angel in fact, and despite being a very hungry little bubba, I thought “YES! WE HAVE NAILED IT.” Ted was fabulous at latching to my left side, and really struggled with my right side. This meant every other feed was

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nowhere near enough for him, and by the evening of day 4, we had one very unsettled, hungry little boy.

I mean, what didn’t help was that it took 5 days for my milk to come in, but that evening I sat in tears, rocking backwards and forwards trying to comfort a baby who just needed a mummy who didn’t have the milk to provide for him. We called the post natal unit, and the very unhelpful midwife (don’t get me wrong, every other midwife I had was incredible) told me that we needed to go to a 24 hour supermarket and buy formula and that my baby hadn’t been feeding for long enough.

"I sat in tears, rocking backwards and forwards trying to comfort a hungry baby."

I felt like I’d failed my boy. Like I was a useless mother who couldn’t even do the most natural thing in the world. I refused to buy the formula and instantly called my mum, who despite it being 4 in the morning, answered her phone and directed me on what could help. Skin to skin cuddles for a while and massaging the breast really helped. She explained to me too that sometimes babies will feed for 5 minutes, and other times an hour when fed on demand, and this was reflective of how adults eat- a little snack here, a glass of water there and sometimes a three course meal!

After 20 minutes, Ted was calm, feeding and slowly fell asleep.

Just writing this my eyes well up with tears, because something so precious, so natural and so comforting came with so many difficulties for me. The initial panic of learning to feed was followed by horrible judgement, unsupportive ‘friends’ and unnecessary comments in public. I wrote a blog post at the time about how hard that was for me. I was giving my body up for my son to feed and it just felt like other mums were against me CONSTANTLY, because apparently that's what breastfeeding mums did- made formula feeding mums feel terrible, when in reality, it was the formula feeding mums who were making me feel terrible for even daring to mention it or feed my son in front of them.

In the end, I breastfed Ted for 14 months and he self weaned. I would’ve carried on until about 18 months, and should I have another baby this is the goal I set for myself. I’m proud of how far we came eventually, after those painful first days, and I regularly boast with a beam on my face that Ted was exclusively breastfed.

Not only did I provide Ted with comfort, medicine and nutrition, but he also provided me with something to be passionate about and support other mums with and what could at times be a lonely and long maternity leave.

Breastfeeding made me feel like the best mother I could be, and I loved every single millisecond of it.

"Not only did I provide Ted with comfort, medicine and nutrition, but he also provided me with something to be passionate about and support other mums with"

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LAURA & ISABELLE

BY LAURA MANSON

I think I always had an open mind to breastfeeding whilst I was pregnant and even before I fell pregnant. I think I just thought it was ‘the norm’. I was the first one to have a baby in my friendship group so it was a whole new experience to me. I had never witnessed any of my closest friends go through pregnancy and give birth, therefore I never had anyone to discuss breastfeeding with I just thought to myself ‘I'll just have to try and breastfeed.'

The first time breastfeeding was properly discussed was during my antenatal classes with a knitted boob to demonstrate all the feeding positions. I remember one of the pregnant ladies at the class comparing breastfeeding to bottle

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feeding by saying ‘why go to McDonalds when you can have steak at home.' I was taken aback by this comment as I've never judged anyone on their feeding choices, in my opinion as long as your baby is fed and healthy then it shouldn’t matter! I really felt like my antenatal classes were focused so much around breast feeding that surely it must be the right thing to do.

Fast forward to 8 weeks later when it was my due date and I was awaiting the arrival of my little girl; I never thought to pack any formula, the thought never crossed my mind as I was so confident that I would breastfeed and I was worried that I may be judged for taking formula in.

My husband reassured me daily that shops don’t

close when you go into labour, therefore I never bought any, not even for just in case.

I had a pretty straightforward labour once I was induced, if there is such a thing! Isabelle arrived and changed our lives forever. After only about 1 hour after giving birth my midwife asked if I was ready to try and feed her. With a little help from my amazing midwife, Isabelle latched on and began feeding. I think I was very lucky as I never really had issues with latching or feeding at the beginning, it all felt a little too easy for the first few days. I don’t think anyone or anything prepared me for the cracked nipples and mastitis around day 7-10.

The mastitis fully took its toll for around a week,but with the support from my husband, mum and midwife I persevered with breastfeeding and looking back I am so glad I did.

There were a few days where I almost gave up and bought formula but I managed to power on through. My second hurdle after mastitis was feeding in front of family; like many people I had a lot of visitors each day and I became really self-conscious feeding in front of them. I remember asking them if it was ok to feed my baby in front of them, I still don’t know why I did this.

Some members of my family and friends didn’t really understand why I chose to breastfeed; this made me feel a little uncomfortable feeding in front of them at times. I was also asked on several occasions if I had moved to bottles yet!

I didn’t actually feed Isabelle in public until she was around 9-10 weeks old. I was too nervous about people staring at me or not being able to cover up enough and feeling exposed. This resulted in me giving Isabelle some formula which did not agree with her

"I DON’T THINK ANYONE OR ANYTHING PREPARED ME FOR THE CRACKED NIPPLES AND MASTITIS."

and more often than not ended up in public projectile vomiting!

The first time I fed in public was nerve wracking, however, the more I fed Isabelle the more confident I became. In time I was able to express so that Isabelle’s Daddy could feed her and I could sleep for a little longer, bliss! Isabelle always preferred the breast over the bottle so those lie ins were very infrequent, but I appreciated every single one.

I breastfed Isabelle for almost 10 months until I began to transition her onto formula. Looking back I really do miss that connection, the one on one time with her and the peaceful night time feeding without leaving my bed. I’m proud of myself for going through all the hurdles breastfeeding brought and sticking with it.

The best advice I could give to any new mummies is to do what is right for you and use the support around you.

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ERICA & ISAAC:

OUR

BREASTFEEDING

STORY TONGUE TIE, NIPPLE SHIELDS

By Erica Morris @the.mama.becoming

& ALLERGIES As I look down at my 9 month old son, humming away on my nipple (it's his latest trick to speed up a let down.) I never, ever thought we'd get this far.

My sense of personal achievement is incredible. To be honest, I never even thought I'd have another baby, he is our rainbow baby, my fourth and final child, and the only one I have managed to breastfeed.

Our journey to this point has been hard. I knew breastfeeding was going to be a challenge, like with every ALICE & THE MUMS | 20

new skill. We're all beginners, even if you've done it before - a new baby means starting from scratch again, learning together. Even with mental preparation, I wasn't quite prepared for the amount of toilet crying I have done over the past nine months!

We had a long labour, and a tired baby who just wanted to sleep we really struggled to get him to latch. When I was on the ward in hospital, a trained member of the midwifery team, who I instantly warmed to, was so

gentle, patient and understanding of my frustrations showed me how to hand express.

So I sat there, after 3 days in hospital, a 22 hour labour, milking myself, sucking the dribbles of liquid gold up with a colostrum collector! Even as I syringed those first few drops of colostrum into his mouth I was proud of myself.

That night, my son's blood sugar levels dropped, and we had no choice but to reluctantly introduce formula. I milked myself until day five,

trying to master a latch, getting increasingly frustrated with myself, because I felt I was failing, with hormones and sleep deprivation causing havoc with my sense of self then a midwife who had called to check on us suggested we try nipple shields. By chance I already had some. He latched immediately. Nipple shields aren't right for everyone - we'd tried every latch position going with support, it was a last ditch attempt before we would have to go down the pumping route.

Isaac was referred to the lactation consultant at our local hospital who spotted he had a posterior tongue tie, by the time we had seen Rebecca (the woman is a guru of breastfeeding and well known in our local area!) he had begun to figure out how to latch, so his tie wasn't snipped and at 6 weeks old, he refused the nipple shields and latched without them, we were finally breastfeeding how I envisaged.

During this period of initial testing times, I also figured out Isaac had allergies. At around 3 weeks old he started getting a large frequency of mucus filled nappies, was unsettled with gas pains, had silent reflux, and broke out in eczema. It was a really miserable time for us. I knew it wasn’t normal behaviour and symptoms, and through some online research and forums I was confident Isaac had cow’s milk protein allergy (CMPA.) With support from my health visitor and dietician, I removed all dairy from my diet, and after a transition period of 6 weeks all of Isaacs symptoms cleared up.

Through breastfeeding we’ve also discovered Isaac is allergic to eggs and peanuts.

The support I have received from my husband, my older children, health professionals, other mum's I've met both in person and online, some who breastfeed, and some who choose formula, is profoundly beautiful. People happily giving up their time to make sure I'm ok, I'm managing, I'm coping and I'm learning. Even now, as we press forward with baby led weaning, I need guidance now and then, and I get it, every time I ask a question, someone, somewhere has the answer and some kind words of support.

I've been so humbled by the support I have received over the past 9 months, I've signed up to become a Breastfeeding Peer Support Volunteer myself.

I can only hope that my journey, and ability to stay positive throughout it, will enable me to give that little bit of hope to someone who's perhaps struggling with the mental and physical demands of breastfeeding, because once you work through them, it's the most wonderful gift you can give your child.

The symptoms of CMPA vary so much from child to child, which makes it so hard to diagnose. If you feel that your baby is exhibiting any symptoms associated with it (listed online) please speak to your health professional and request a dietitians appointment for guidance.

If you'd like to continue following Erica's story, please follow her Instagram for updates.

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I combi-fed my son Noah for a few months because he wasn’t well and the nurses said we had to top up with formula. Noah then decided he didn’t want formula anymore and would refuse the bottle. Whilst we got there in the end it was a struggle.

“It shouldn’t hurt”, “there shouldn’t be a clicking sound”, “your breastmilk will come through in about 3 days after birth”. Whilst a lot of these phrases are true it can be so disheartening & damaging to someone’s confidence to hear this at the start. It’s a bit like telling someone who has never ridden a bike before that the bike shouldn’t wobble, it just needs time. A lot of women whose milk hasn’t come in by day 3 think their body can’t produce milk. It can take a while to come in, my milk came in on day 5.

I always assumed that breastfeeding would happen and it was something I really wanted to do.

The educational videos and magazine articles glazed over how tough it may be. There wasn’t a focus on the struggles and where to find help. The videos showed babies latching straight away after birth. The first time I saw it I remember thinking that’s amazing what the human body can do.

Speaking to a lot of my friends I know they have had similar struggles too. I felt like a massive failure and a lot of this was due to the pressures put on us women to breastfeed.

The pressure to breastfeed is so strong & it seems that everyone you meet has an opinion. The pressures of breastfeeding isn’t only just by those that come into contact with you, it's also by people that love to send their unhelpful advice through the phone, email and everything short of a telegram. A friend of mine told me a story. Her mother-in- law had been discussing her breastfeeding journey on the phone to her sister as if this was normal to do.

This aunt-in-law had advised her to breastfeed for 6 months at the very least. This was right at the beginning when she found it really tough and was almost at the point of giving up.

It's easy to say ignore it, but the thing is when you’ve given birth and most of your dignity goes out of the window (what with all the drs, midwives & nurses that saw all your bits and then some) you’re left feeling vulnerable. Your body has been through what can only feel like the biggest battle it will ever have and your mind is just as fragile (if not worse) in the first few weeks.

The other problem combined with the pressure, is the lack of support and help as well as the ALICE & THE MUMS | 22

SHILAH & NOAH THE PRESSURE TO BREASTFEED AND THE LACK OF SUPPORT

"MY ADVICE TO ANYONE STRUGGLING IS TO REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS JOURNEY."

inconsistency in availability of services to help struggling mums. Some areas don’t have breastfeeding clinics available and just a phone line. The phone lines are great, however if everyone is to encourage breastfeeding to new mothers there needs to be the face to face resources available to them.

Luckily for me this wasn’t a issue as there was a breastfeeding clinic we could go to every weekday in a different area in our borough. I remember after my first visit, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do this. But I realised it’s ok if I can’t because I’ll try everything they have suggested as long as it wasn’t at the cost of my sanity...because you know happy mum, happy baby! The breastfeeding consultant said something that really helped my journey.

She said to give myself a set timeframe for how long i want to keep trying.

If it works, then great and if it doesn’t, then put a pin in it and don’t beat yourself up. I think this was one of the best bits of advice I could have gotten. It felt like I had a clear plan in place with a deadline. I knew all the hard moments I’d experienced weren’t going to be forever. If I didn’t manage it then I can say, with full confidence, I tried really hard but that’s the journey done with.

My advice to anyone struggling is to remember that you are not a failure and you are not alone in this journey. Being able to breastfeed does not define you as a mother. You have already done one of the hardest things already by giving birth (vaginally or caesarean)…you are amazing!

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Boob Hats NICOLA CORMACK

Part 1 of 3 of helpful breastfeeding advice! This part focuses on latching, positions, and the pressure we put ourselves under.

Boob Hats- another name for nipples devised

by Chris Traeger in Parks and Recreation (its on amazon and a hilarious show.) So if you are a guy reading this don’t be scared by this title, just carry on reading. Afterwards you will have empathy for us mums.

By the way if you are wondering breastfeeding is like a baster sucking your nipples (don’t ask)! My son is currently 7 weeks and I am breastfeeding. NHS advises breast is best. You know what? Breastfeeding is hard too. Did they emphasise how hard it would be.

Yes, but you don’t really understand how hard it is once you are breast feeding.Yes, it’s good for babies as they will get the nutrients and the antibodies you are producing. Yes, it’s

ALICE & THE MUMS | 24

good for the mums and helps to bond the mother and baby. However, it is bloody tiring.

For me my son latched on as soon as he entered this world. However, in the first day he was deciding what he wanted.

Was it his position? Yes. A mum has to try to get their little one into the right position so they can latch on. For me this continues to be hard as my son is a wriggler and is getting bloody strong as well as growing. Positioning takes time. Mum’s have to ensure their baby is close to them.

Mum’s need to ensure that their baby's head is supported but free. Mum’s need to make sure their baby’s nose, knees and bellybutton are facing the same way. Mum’s have to line their

boob hats with their babys nose. Mum’s need to ensure them and their baby is comfortable.

You think this would be easy right?

No, for me at first breastfeeding was difficult. I couldn’t find the right position for my son. This was hard for me. One of my greatest fears during my pregnancy was my baby wouldn’t accept my breast. My baby wouldn’t want breast fed.

Would I fail as a mother?

Yes, I had tried and tried so hard.

The NHS midwives were great on my ward.

They spent time with me and giving me reassurance. However, I was still scared that my son wouldn’t latch. I tried different positions some worked then didn’t. It really is that difficult. As a mum you would persevere, as you want what’s best for your baby. At night I felt worse. There was no family and my partner went home before 10. It was just me and my son. I had to take care of this little human who belongs to me. A lot of pressure right? I changed his nappies (a lot) and tried to

feed him. Some of the times he accepted.

Some of the times he didn’t.

My son and I were getting used to each other. I can’t bear to imagine what he would be thinking over the first two nights. Trying to remember how to get your child in the right position and ensure they are comfortable (on only a couple of hours of sleep) is very difficult.I found it so hard that I even had to learn how to hand express. That was hard for me. I felt broken and felt that I failed. I wanted my son to accept my breast. I felt I was under pressure to breastfeed my son. I felt that he was refusing to be close to me. I felt that he was refusing me as his mum.

It was very tough for me at that time. I worked so hard to breastfeed. I also think many other mums on the ward were trying so hard too. However, after reassurances from the staff. I tried hand expressing which worked to some effect. I still felt low. It wasn’t until a midwife helped me to get my son into a position which worked for me and him.

Yes, it took time, but, I felt relieved. I got some confidence. However, now I still have some difficulties. Now, thinking about the first few days I was thinking: Why, would I do that to myself? Why, would I put so much pressure on myself? The media. Mums out there don’t feel like a failure. Yes, try. However, don’t feel the pressure. Do what’s best for you and your little one. Whether it be expressing or having to use formula (there’s no right or wrong way).

As long as you are looking after your baby to the best of your abilities. That’s the main thing.

Be the best mum to your baby. Remember every mum will have a breastfeeding issue.If you’re a dad still reading this (thank you) please ask your partner how she is when breastfeeding. Ask your partner if you can do anything to make them comfortable or be there for them to talk too. Please don’t put pressure on your partner as they will be feeling it!

"Yes, try. However, don't feel the pressure."

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BREASTFEEDING IN SWEDEN THE ADDITIONAL SUPPORT AND GENEROUS PARENTAL LEAVE

BY CHARLOTTE GARBUTT In 2018 my husband and I made the crazy decision to leave our regular old lives in West Sussex and move to the North of Sweden, all in the name of adventure.

It's been an amazing experience and a whirlwind of jobs, buying a house and learning the language, but the best part of all has been becoming a mamma. Dorothy was born in October; with huge blue eyes and a full head of hair. It was that instant love that I had heard all about. We had over two hours of skin to skin after the birth and that's when our breastfeeding journey began.

During pregnancy I tried to soak up as much as I could about breastfeeding. I wanted so much to be able to breastfeed my baby that some days it felt like a physical urge. I asked friends about their experiences, watched numerous youtube videos and followed lots of breastfeeding instagram accounts. It felt like I had always been told that breastfeeding is really hard, it hurts and only some lucky mammas are actually able to do it.

After all the worry Dorothy latched almost immediately. I feel so fortunate that we haven't yet had a problem with latching on.

Dorothy is just one of those babies that knew what to do and led me through the process. I had also completed

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a Skype breastfeeding course

Sweden’s generous parental

with the amazing Faye from

leave also means that

The V-Hive, so I felt very very

mothers are under less

well prepared. She also

pressure to return to work.

helped me with what I should

However, if mothers do wish

realistically be prepared for,

to return to work before they

yes it might be sore at first but

are finished breastfeeding,

if it hurts then something is

workplaces are generally very

not quite right.

helpful with finding solutions.

A colleague of mine works in

Dorothy is coming up to six

a school library and brought

months old, still exclusively

her baby with her, whilst she

breastfed and we are on our

worked part time, for the first

way to reaching my goal of a

six months so that she could

year. All of this is made much

feed on demand.

easier by living in Sweden.

Sweden has one of the

Breastfeeding is not without

highest breastfeeding rates in

its own unique challenges

the world according to the

here in the North of Sweden.

International Breastfeeding

Our winters are particularly

Journal. Around 97% of

chilly, with temperatures

women initiate breastfeeding

dropping to -30°c. For

after the birth of their baby

breastfeeding mammas, the

with 60% continuing at six

cold increases the risk

months. That’s compared to

of mastitis and blocked ducts

81% of mothers breastfeeding

(and oh my does that hurt!) So

"WE ALSO HAVE TO WEAR WOOLY BREAST WARMERS!" from birth in the UK and 34%

as well as regular breast pads,

at six months.

we also have to wear wooly breast warmers. Oh yes, they

comments from Mr and Mrs

Support from hospitals,

are just as attractive as they

Public has allowed me to

workplaces, government

sound.

relax. Everyone’s

initiatives and society all

breastfeeding journey is

contribute to those rates.

It’s tough sometimes, being

different, but I think they can

Before you give birth you

the sole provider of nutrition.

all be made a bit easier with

might encounter a few slightly

Whether it’s long nights of

less input from strangers.

pushy breastfeeding

comfort feeding,

positive midwives. You might

growth spurts or distracted

Although we are a long way

also notice that the law

feedings, it’s a lot. But because

from our families (and unable

prohibits formulas from being

of Sweden’s amazing parental

to visit them given the global

advertised at all. After giving

leave there are new mammas

pandemic) we are trying to

birth in a Swedish hospital

and pappas everywhere, so of

take time to appreciate the

parents are given a private

course

small, everyday moments. And

room with two beds and

businesses have to cater for

for me, breastfeeding is just

entitled to stay for five days,

that. Almost everywhere is

that; a magical moment when

many stay longer than this.

child and boob friendly. Being

I’m forced to stop, sit still and

This time is vital for new

able to nurse as and when my

hold my beautiful, perfect

mothers to get all the help

baby needs without the fear

baby.

they need with feeding.

of awkward stares, or

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BY LAURA XENA CAMPBELL

I Can, I Will Whilst I was pregnant, I kept insisting to people that I wanted to breastfeed no matter what! But I was always dismayed to find that others would try to discourage me from even attempting it, spurred on by their own negative experiences.

As helpful as others thought they were being; telling me how hard it was, how painful, time-consuming, lonely and tiring or that I just simply wouldn't be able to do it, because they hadn't - their advice never dissuaded me. I was adamant that this is what I wanted for my little one, and no amount of naysaying was going to deter me!

When my darling son Seth came into this world, I as so happy to put him to breast for the first time. I was ready for that magical moment when he would suck greedily, but he kept coming off. Breastfeeding is hard.

Trying to get the baby to stay on was a nightmare, and I tried every position the midwives could think of until eventually, we cracked the laying down latch. But we knew we wouldn't be allowed to go home until we mastered the cradle or football hold.

There were a lot of tears in that time. I could feel my heart breaking as Seth struggled and I was truly worried that if we

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couldn't get it right, we would be forced to move onto the bottle. But we persevered.

It was draining. It hurt - a lot! And Seth would often fall asleep exhausted and still hungry, even after nursing for up to two hours at a time. I woke on the third night to a wet nightgown as my milk came in. I had a fantastic supply and the next day, baby and I cracked the cradle hold. I was over the moon.

Then, unfortunately, our newly established routine was disrupted when Seth developed jaundice and had to go under the heat lamp. He latched less and less, and in the end, I had to pump and bottle feed for a day after he refused to eat at all. I couldn't understand it. I was trying so hard, refusing to quit and my milk was there.

Why wasn't he feeding?

But I refused to give up. We kept trying the breast, and within another day we were practically experts. Though he still wasn't latching properly and was losing weight (at least he was eating), we knew it wasn't for lack of trying. It was time to explore other causes.

Turns out he had a very bad case of tongue-tie. It's what was preventing Seth from maintaining a latch, which in turn caused me the pain as it elongated the nipple as he was having to effectively bite and basically, he wasn't able to draw enough milk because of it.

We had his tongue snipped and now we can't stop him guzzling! He's putting on weight regularly and has a very healthy appetite. Seth is now three months old and breastfeeding nicely.

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THE PRESSURES OF BREASTFEEDING It's pressure after pressure when you breastfeed. It starts with the pressure to do it in the first place, then learning to latch, followed by getting baby to take a bottle, and trying to maintain your pre-baby life with your new mum life while your little one needs you for nutrition. Helen tells us more...

BY HELEN MARSHALL

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge advocate for breastfeeding, but I understand that it’s not for everyone. I don’t think there’s a pressure on women to breastfeed, in fact, in our society, it’s almost considered strange to breastfeed; bottle-feeding is much more socially acceptable.

I think that, due to this, breastfeeding comes with an unusual amount of pressure once you have decided that is the route you’re taking to feed your child. If someone gets a bottle out to feed a baby in public, no one bats an eyelid. If you’re breastfeeding, there’s a pressure to be discrete, to make sure no one is looking and to get it over with quickly.

Before my child was born, I felt a pressure to breastfeed. My other half’s family are very pro-breastfeeding, so it was almost assumed that I was going to do it. I always wanted to try, but I kept saying that if it wasn’t working for

me, that I wouldn’t continue. It was probably my imagination, but I felt like that was met with disdain.

When I started breastfeeding, I put pressure on myself to continue even when I was at breaking point. Maybe this stemmed from not wanting to let my family down, or my pure stubbornness, but I kept going; I was really unhappy, but I was doing what I thought was best for my child. Looking back, a bottle wouldn’t have hurt and it would’ve helped me mentally.

Once breastfeeding is established, there then comes a pressure to get your baby to take a bottle. Why? If the mother is happy breastfeeding, what is the issue? Yes, the partner can help in the night, but what if the partner helps with everything else and you’d just rather at least one of you got some sleep?

Then comes the pressure of feeding

your baby to sleep. My little girl is one and I still feed her to sleep. She has that sleep association with me and that’s ok. Feeding to sleep is nature’s natural way to help a child drift off into Dream Land. Yet, our society puts so much pressure on sleep that we seem to have forgotten this. Why would I give it up yet? It’s working for us and it would only cause my baby and I unnecessary stress. She won’t do it forever and as she gets older, I can gently help her to fall asleep independently. People seem to forget that a one year old is still a tiny person, who doesn’t understand the world, breastfeeding is their safe space and there’s nothing wrong with that!

As your baby hits six months old, you suddenly realise everyone you knew that was breastfeeding seems to have stopped. It’s suddenly deemed unacceptable to be feeding your baby from your breast once they reach their half birthday. I’ve mainly ignored most

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of the side-eyes and judgmental comments, because I know what’s right for my baby and me, but I can see why women stop. Then as your baby gets older and older, the more the questions start to creep in: “ooh are you still feeding?”; “are you going to start weaning?”; “when do you think you’ll stop?” and so on. It makes you doubt yourself – mothers would be a lot more confident if people kept their thoughts to themselves. I’ve felt it even more so as I’m the only one out of my friends and family who has continued for so long. Don’t get me wrong, I have a lot of supportive friends, but I do feel sometimes they think I would be better off by stopping breastfeeding.

Finally, one of the biggest pressures I think is associated with breastfeeding is sleep. Apparently, breastfeeding is the reason for all bad sleep. Ever. The end. If that was the case, I don’t think anyone would breastfeed and every child would sleep through as soon as

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they had a bottle.

Yes, perhaps, more breastfed babies sleep worse than those who are bottlefed, but there are also PLENTY of bottle-fed babies who don’t sleep through the night either. Sleep is developmental and it is almost guaranteed that it has nothing to do with how your child is fed.

Do I know how long I’ll continue to breastfeed for? No. What I do know is that with all the pressure that comes along with breastfeeding, it is 100% worth it for the bond you have with your child.

For more from Helen, have a look at her Instagram page: @mumbun chronicles

BREASTFEEDING: THE FACTS

Preparing the Un-mumsy Mums BY

MIA

(@UNEXPECTEDLYMUM)

As a first time mum who wasn’t actually planning on having children, I was certifiably clueless when it came to breastfeeding. I’d heard all the stats and I was shocked to learn breastfeeding wasn’t really that common.

Initiation is good at 81% but then unicef states that by week 6, the percentage of mothers exclusively breastfeeding was 18 (I’ve take the average of England, Wales and Northern Ireland here. Scotland did the Scotland conducted its own Maternal and Infant Nutrition Survey in 2018 so they’re not included in there stats). At 3 months the proportion of women exclusively breastfeeding their babies drops to 17% then by 4 months, 12%. By 6 months the data suggests only 1% are exclusively breastfeeding but I can only assume that’s because purées and solids have been introduced.

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Despite this painting a rather daunting picture I

visible.

was resolute. I wanted to breastfeed, for so many

I can remember guiding my sons little mouth

reasons. My partner and I are teachers so we know

open wide with a thumb on his chin. This is the key

know to undertake a good project. We did a

to pain free feeding. The latch.

hilarious amount of research into everything, I

By day three my milk came in; my boobies

mean, we put nappies on a teddy, we swaddled the

become huge (for me) and engorged with milk.

teddy, put him in the car seat and watched hours

From here on things became much easier. I could

on hours of YouTubers telling us their ‘must buys’

feel the tingling sensation of ‘the let down’ coming

and their experiences as new parents. We soon

almost instantly as I put my son to my breast and

found out that with breastfeeding, it’s all about the

actually my left nipple sprayed milk! I knew I had a

latch, a few days of gritted teeth and the haakaa.

fast flow so I wasn’t too concerned that my son

The first few days feeding my son with

never fed for more than 25 minutes when I knew

colostrum were the hardest. You will get little oily

others baby were feeding for 45 minutes to an hour.

jewels of colostrum gathering in beads on your

I will say, there is a stage you feel like you are

nipple and that’s it! It’s nerve wracking thinking

nothing more than a milk machine and it can feel a

that this is all that is sustaining them.

bit thankless and draining but it won’t last.

The first few days are hard mentally and

The next, revolutionary thing was the haakaa.

physically hard because there is pain involved.

This little silicone sucker suctions right on the

Expect soreness, expect the midwives to handle

breast you are not feeding the child on and it

your breasts, expect inhale your breath sharply and

catches the milk that would otherwise be collecting

fear yourself up for the feed but if it’s meant for

in a pad, or spraying across the room in my case.

you, it will get easier. My mum told me to be

With this milk, initially stored in the fridge and

topless in the sunlight as much as possible. Who

gave to my son in a bottle before bed. Perfect for

knows what that’s supposed to do but I was there,

daddy time. In time I stocked up my freezer with a

in my sunniest window and on the lawn. I didn’t

little milk store too. Shout out to my partner and

have any bleeding, I didn’t even use my nipple

friends who have made dash to the kitchen to get

cream (if you have the lilac tube, it makes the best

the freshly washed ‘boobie catcher’ when the milk

lip balm) but I was militant with the latch! My

was free flowing.

partner was even on latch-watch. I knew my nipple had to be right in there with little to no areola

I am still breastfeeding my son at 7 months old. I love it. It’s free. It’s quick. It’s easy and I honestly feel very comfortable feeding him in public. Try it!

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Learn to Latch Latching- sometimes difficult, but natural development. The NHS have a programme called Start 4 Life. They have advised the following steps to latch onto the nipple: Hold your baby’s whole body close with their nose level with your nipple.

Let your baby’s head tilt back a little so that their top lip can brush against your nipple. This should encourage your baby to open their mouth.

When they open their mouth your baby’s chin should be first to touch your breast. Their head should be tipped back so that their tongue can reach as much breast as possible.

Ensure their nose is clear and their mouth is wide open. You should see more of the darker nipple skin above their top lip.

I had a C-section and was given plenty of support from the midwifery team to help me and my son.

Post- surgery, it was important to ensure that I was as comfortable as he was. So, I found a cushion (covered with a muslin) that I was able to place under his head at the perfect level for me.

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BY NICOLA CORMACK

This not only made it easier for me, but made him comfortable and was less painful around my long stitch.

I would also suggest trying different positions if your baby is not latching straight away. The common position is the cradle hold. However, this did not work for us as I was still sore and he struggled to latch on. So, I tried to the rugby hold, which felt natural to me and kept the pressure off my scar.

So, if they don’t latch straightaway try not to panic and remain calm. Luckily for me, through the support from my family and the midwifery team at the hospital I persevered and successfully managed to breastfeed my son.

The Seriousness of Mastitis

Not everybody has heard of it, it doesn't just affect breastfeeding mums and it can be life threatening. Sarah Geach tells us more about her experiences with severe mastitis, urging for more awareness on the topic.

By Sarah Geach (@davatipr & @sarahegeachx)

Whilst pregnant with both my children everyone seemed obsessed with whether or not I was breastfeeding, but I feel like no is obsessed with telling you about the other things that happen to your boobs post pregnancy.

I remember about 6 days after Elijah was born I was lifting him in the air and suddenly I had pain like I've never felt, I literally remember bowling over and just crashing on the bed - the only way I can describe it was as if my boobs had literally turned to stone. I remember texting my mum and being like I'm dying - not over dramatic at all hey and my mum reassured it was my milk coming in, after a few frantic google searches I realised this was pretty much known as the worst pain ever and mums everywhere explaining the hell of their milk coming in - so I shut up and put up .I remember two days later waking up and thinking this can not be normal - it's hell my boobs were now bigger than my head and I'd suddenly developed lumps under my armpits - not just small lumps like massive abscesses. I couldn't move, I couldn't pick up Elijah and I couldn't do anything in fact. I remember asking my health visitors and her briefly saying ‘could be mastitis try lettuce leaves in your bra’ - I remember nodding then telling my husband she was obviously mental when she left. I’d never ever heard of mastitis, I hadn't been warned about it, I hadn't heard of it - I mentioned it to my mum and she explained it all to me, again a quick google and a trip to tesco with some lettuce and painkillers - although in a lot of pain, I managed to get over within a week or so.

Now for those of you who don't know mastitis is inflammation of the mammary gland in the breast or udder, typically due to bacterial infection via a damaged nipple or teat- so basically while you're milk is coming in you've developed an infection!

Now with my second baby, GG, I was more open to breastfeeding - and the midwives actually told me in order to prevent mastitis you should actually breastfeed - it prevents the infection from taking hold apparently. So when GG was born, with the help of my mum I started breastfeeding her - she was really good and did latch on etc - now four days later the same happened again - I felt my boobs ‘turn to stone’, but I thought no no I’ll persevere - I tried to carry ALICE & THE MUMS | 38

on breastfeeding and honestly i nearly passed out from the pain.

This time I went straight to the doctors - I remember not being able to get up I couldn't move at all again and I thought oh god surely not again. I went to the doctors and was told I had severe mastitis, now usually they can prescribe something for you which means you can still breastfeed your baby (to be honest this was the last thing on my mind) but mine was so severe the drug they prescribed was too strong to still breastfeed on it - so there it was 4 days in and the breastfeeding mother nature bubble

was burst.

A nurse managed to physically examine my breasts and confirmed severe mastitis. She even tried to express me - by this I mean literally milk me like a cow, but she confirmed it was too bad to even try this, so next up was to drain me.They literally syringed both my armpits to relieve some of the pressure for me - but that was painful in itself although my boobs went down my armpits were so bruised. I also was advised to strap my boobs up which was hell.

I’ve been unlucky enough in both pregnancies to suffer pretty severely

with mastitis and all it's taught me is that we are not warned enough about it, or educated on it.So many cases of mastitis go undiagnosed every year, but this can actually be fatal if left - the abscesses in my breasts and armpits were so severe that they warned if these have had been left the outcome could have been extremely dark - so I urge midwives, health visitors and breastfeeding classes to really really really make a big deal out of this, it’s horrible to suffer and not know why so lets spread the mastitis word!

ALICE & THE MUMS | 39

Why Breast Feed?

Why consider Breastfeeding? To boob, or not to boob? That is the question!

On my first ever midwife appointment, she asked me whether I wanted to breast or bottle. It was a no-brainer for me. I’d done my research, educated myself on the facts and knew that breast was for me years prior to even considering having a baby. But do you know the facts?

Here are some helpful facts about the benefits of breastfeeding that may help you

BY ALICE KING EDITOR

make your decision, plus places to find support if you have begun your journey and are struggling.

ALICE & THE MUMS | 40

For Baby

For Mum

Research is currently inconclusive, but

Nursing helps your uterus contract back to

multiple studies point towards breastfed

your normal size by 6 weeks post birth.

babies achieving more academic

It will lower the risk of breast cancer and

success in their lifetime, regardless of

ovarian cancer.

socio-economic background. It is said

Breastfeeding saves you a hell of a lot of

that the acids in breast milk enhance

money as it is absolutely free! You might

the production of brain cells. (Source:

need to invest in a pump but other than

www.parents.com)

that, you should be all set.

Breast milk causes less issues in the

Exclusively feeding delays your menstrual

stomach than formula in terms of

cycle healthily. The last thing you want to

constipation and diarrhoea which also

deal with when cradling a newborn is cycle

means breastfed babies throw up their

tracking!

milk less often.

You will absorb calcium more efficiently

It prevents childhood and even

meaning stronger bones and less of a

adulthood obesity, as babies learn when

chance of developing osteoporosis.

they have ‘had enough’ and don’t get

Breastfeeding helps you lose baby weight,

overfed.

as breast milk contains 20 calories per

Breast milk produces immunity boosting

ounce, meaning you are likely to burn

antibodies that are like medicine,

about 400 calories a day.

reducing the risk of viruses, long term

Breastfeeding reduces the risk of

and chronic illness, ear infections,

developing post-natal depression and

asthma and respiratory infections.

anxiety as it releases oxytocin.

Breast milk contains healthy enzymes

It is eco friendly!

that cannot be replicated by science.

Formula only replicates a third of the nutrition of breast milk.

The skin to skin contact of nursing creates a stronger bond between mum and baby.

Support: NHS website

It reduces the risk of SIDS, with half the

Local support group

number of SIDs cases in breastfed

Facebook support groups

babies than formula fed babies.

National breastfeeding

Breast milk protects against allergies

helpline 03001000212

and eczema developing.

It makes vaccinations work more effectively due to antibody release.

ALICE & THE MUMS | 41

JU ST FO R FU N

THE DADS

On dealing with pregnancy hormones

WHO IS THAT ON THE COVER? Find out more about our cover mum and baby

LABOUR STORY Back by popular demand!

EMMA'S LABOUR STORY

By Emma Parker (@emmaparker1983x)

Six days after my due date I decided to have a go on my breast pump as this apparently can stimulate labour. That PM I went into early labour with contractions every 20 mins. I remember laying in the bath for nearly 3 hours drifting in & out of sleep between contractions. I went into hospital very early AM on Tuesday to be checked, they sent me away & told me they would induce me Thursday. Said go home, eat lots of food for energy & try to sleep. Unfortunately none of this happened for me. I struggled to sleep or eat. I think I managed a few mouthfuls of toast but not for trying!

Thursday early AM my waters broke HURRAH I thought, no need to be induced. A few hours later they sent me home as baby was bound to come, if not they would induce me Friday.

NO SIGN OF BABY! I went in Friday morning, at this point I was sleep deprived & had hardly slept as the contractions had become really painful so I chose an epidural. I spent all day sleeping on & off waiting to dilate. This was a very surreal experience when I look back! Â

It got to 18:30 & I was 5 cms. They told

me they would check again at 22:30, I could see Baby coming early hours so ALICE & THE MUMS | 43

"WITHIN THE NEXT 2 HOURS, IT WENT FROM CALM TO PANIC..."

Dad went home to have some dinner &

relieved Baby would finally be here.

get some fresh clothes.

Within the next 2 hours, it went from

The next 16 mins were incredibly

recovery is definitely make the most of needing to sit down and relax &

rushed - the anatheastist had to work out

being looked after, it is a major

calm to panic. Baby’s heartbeat had

how numb I was but finally at 20:56 we

operation & you deserve to rest &

completely gone, midwives descended

learnt we had a BABY BOY and got to

enjoy those cuddles as motherhood

on me after the alarm was rung, I started

meet our gorgeous Ralph!

really is the best thing ever! My

to panic, the surgeon examined me &

Â

experience has been amazing.

told me I was still only 3 cm & that we

expected. It was painful but it helps the

had 5 mins to get this baby out! I had no

midwives get you up moving the next

time to phone Dad.

day. I think you take for granted how

LUCKILY he walked back in just by

Recovery was not as bad as I

much you use your tummy muscles, even

chance at that point to see me being

things like sneezing and coughing are

wheeled off. I was scared but also

tricky! One thing I would say about

ALICE & THE MUMS | 44

Review: 4moms

By Megan

Bath

Mamaroo Looking back on all of the different gadgets I tried for Harrison, one sticks out as my favourite and it’s safe to say it was Harrison’s too. The 4moms mamaroo.

I had tried rockers, automatic bouncers, manual bouncers and so on. I had spent WAY too much money on finding something that would actually soothe Harrison. In all honesty, nothing worked.. out except the 4moms mamaroo. This 4moms device had 5 separate motions that were easily used. 4moms named the 5 all the motions for the device and they are adorably accurate! They are designed to mimic any motion that a parent could make with their arms, body, and even the car.

The first movement, the “car ride,” moves the baby in a sort of figure eight motion - up and over, then back down, around and up.

The “kangaroo” bounces baby up and down in one direction and then back the way it came.

The “tree swing” is exactly how it sounds- it just swings back and forth.

The rainbow pattern of the “rock a bye” keeps the baby moving up and over, back and forth.

The final move, called the “wave” sweeps baby in a circle to keep them gently moving without any bouncing.

All 5 of the motions can be adjusted speed-wise as well. That means the movements can be low and slow for those brand new littles, or maybe a bit faster for an older baby.

The mamaRoo swing also gives you the ability to plug in your phone with an auxiliary cord. So whether you are listening to Baby Einstein or Rhianna, you can turn your swing into a speaker.

Looking forward, I’d definitely buy this again if I were to have another little one, but I’d use it for day dot rather than experimenting with so many other bouncers.

ALICE & THE MUMS | 45

Meet Our Cover Star!

What is your favourite thing about being a mum?

That is a hard one as there are so many things!

Coming back from work and seeing her little face light up is like coming home for Christmas everyday!

I love cuddles with her first thing in the morning and at night. I love watching her grow and develop each day and being able to be part of that is amazing, They give you so much joy! They also bring many challenges, ultimately they make you who are and challenge you to be a better person.

What is the worst thing about being a mum?

To be honest, right now its the lack of sleep ! But in general its the added unpaid labour and the organisation of it all which I’m really bad at!

Especially as a sleep deprived person. My job has no routine or structure so its really hard to be disciplined with Bobbi’s routine and be there for her when my job doesn’t fit around it.

How would you describe your parenting style?

I’m quite laid back , as I mentioned earlier I struggle myself with having a routine and really need to put the effort in there as it doesn’t come naturally. I think I would say i'm a fun mum and I just want to make Bobbi smile, laugh and be happy. Some people tell me I should be a kids TV presenter! No chance! I always aim to make her chuckle once a day. We listen to lots of music as we live in a recording studio / house so she’s always surrounded by music and songwriters, Its a very sociable place and that is in line with my parenting style. I look up to my parents who were both primary Instagram: @thesongwritingmum school teachers and amazing with Job: Songwriter (Lists of songs in children, and my mum had 4 kids (including twins) so I try to take after highlights.) Sarah has just been her, as she always had patience and named in the top 100 female was very creative in her parenting songwriters in the UK by PRS! style. My dad also was always very kind and caring which I try to instil in my Child: Bobbi- 10 months parenting style.

About Sarah

ALICE & THE MUMS | 46

DADS CORNER "I took the moral high ground and ignored her mostly."

"Just ignored her. She cried because spreadable butter wouldn't spread and made a hole in the bread."

"I just used to send her to bed for a nap."

"Buy cravings in bulk. Just think, it won't be long until her next pregnancy nap!"

"Provide lots of treats and accept losing arguments."

"Just do little things to keep her happy."

"Talk to each other and ask your partner what she needs. Make sure she has 'me' time."

"Just do everything she asks for because she is the one in discomfort."

A L I C E & T H E M U M S

E H T : 4 E U S IS N O I T I D E Y C N A N G PRE WWW. ISSUU. COM/ALICE ANDTHEMUMSMAG

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