MENCOURAGEM

Honoring Thy Father

Father’s Day brings about lots of emotions in a man’s heart. Those who have had great fathers remember some of the special times they had with them with smiles on their faces. Those who had fathers who were hard and difficult have a whole other range of emotions. Johnny Cash expressed one sentiment about fathers and sons in his famous (or infamous) song A Boy Named Sue. Then there was the Harry Chapin number one song in 1974, The Cat’s in the Cradle. Neither of those two songs represents the ideal father but may reflect the reality in which many men grow up.

Honoring our fathers on Father’s Day is more than just an excuse to sell greeting cards on a “Hallmark holiday.” Actually, the whole concept of honoring our fathers has been around since the beginning of time. Back in 1812, the Grimm brothers may have been thinking about Father’s Day when they wrote the fable The Old Grandfather and His Grandson:

Once upon a time, there was a very, very old man. His eyes had grown dim, his ears deaf, and his knees shook. When he sat at the table, he could scarcely hold a spoon. He spilled soup on the tablecloth, and besides that, some of his soup would run back out of his mouth. His son and his son’s wife were disgusted with this, so finally they made the old grandfather sit in the corner behind the stove where they gave him his food in an earthenware bowl — and not enough at that. He sat there looking sadly at the table and his eyes grew moist. One day his shaking hands could not hold the bowl and it fell to the ground and broke. The young woman scolded him, but he said not a word. He only sobbed. Then for a few pennies, they bought him a wooden bowl and made him eat from it.

Once when they were all sitting there, the little grandson of four years pushed some pieces of wood together on the floor.

“What are you making?” asked his father.

“Oh, I’m making a little trough for you and mother to eat from when you’re old.”

The man and the woman looked at one another and then began to cry. They immediately brought the old grandfather to the table and always let him eat there from then on. And if he spilled a little, they didn’t say a thing.

Ouch! That hurts! What a great fable to bring home the idea that honoring our fathers (and grandfathers) is the right thing to do — no matter what. The Moral Law (aka The Ten Commandments) of the Old Testament tells us that honoring our parents is a way to please God and respect humanity. It is the fifth commandment: Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you (Exodus 20:12).

The whole point of Father’s Day is to honor our fathers and to recognize them for being the special men they are in our lives. I think it is ironic that the word used for honor in the Hebrew Bible is the word that means, “To make something heavy.” Honoring our fathers is not always easy — especially when they reach a certain age. The burden can be heavy indeed. The full intent of the Hebrew word means to add value or worth. We add value and worth to our fathers by encouraging them and thanking them for the good things in their lives.

Honoring our fathers on Father’s Day is a good thing. It is a good way to remind ourselves that our dads may not have been perfect, but they loved us nonetheless. Honestly, most of us owe our fathers immense gratitude for the years and years they sacrificed and provided for us and for the ways they taught us things we could only learn by example. For most of us, our fathers have been the source of security and protection. Even if our fathers failed in some of these things, honoring our fathers is the right thing to do all the time, not just when the calendar demands it.

Maybe your Father’s Day ought to be more than a greeting card, the gift of a new tie, or a subscription to Cigar Aficionado. Perhaps this year could be a renewed commitment to talk by phone every week or to see one another more frequently and remind him of just how “weighty” his influence has been in your life.