Living Cause of Death:

Think about it—you start dying the moment you’re born. While it hasn’t been researched in any highly funded medical studies, we could probably all agree that being born is the No. 1 cause of death for, like, everyone. Sometimes it’s these silly facts of life, like sitting, cleaning and eating that can contribute to injury, disease and even death. What are you doing on the daily to knock years off your life?

By Katie McPherson

Too much time on the derrière can be deadly, bad news for the majority of us with desk jobs already battling carpal tunnel and back pain. Prolonged sedentary behavior (sitting in the car, at work, then at home) means people are more likely to contract type 2 diabetes and cancer. It also leads to decreased metabolism of sugar and fat. In one study, researchers found those who led predominantly sedentary lives were more likely to die of any cause (#fantastic), especially when they didn’t exercise regularly.

Experts recommend standing and moving around for one to three minutes for every 30 minutes spent sitting down to ameliorate these risks, but, of course, a solid exercise routine is the best remedy—shoot for one hour each day. Standing desks are a great solution, too, as simply standing up burns 30 percent more calories than sitting, which is enough to help control weight gain.

A day at work after a night of poor sleep feels like a slow descent into hell. That’s probably because not getting enough sleep is one of the worst things we can do for our overall health. Webmd.com says sleep deprivation was behind the meltdown at Chernobyl, the Exxon Valdez oil spill and that little nuclear incident at Three Mile Island. Fatigue is also the cause of approximately 100,000 vehicle crashes and over 1,550 deaths annually in the United States.

Besides endangering those around you, lack of sleep takes a toll on the body, too. Chronic sleep loss increases risk for the following:

• Diabetes

• Stroke

• High blood pressure

• Heart disease

• Heart attack

• Heart failure

• Irregular heartbeat

• Rapid skin aging

Fatigue, of course, also decreases libido, makes you more forgetful, can contribute to symptoms of depression and weakens the immune system. It can also lead to obesity— sleep loss triggers appetite, which is the body trying to get energy from sources other than sleep.

Oh, and let’s not forget, chronic sleep loss can increase your risk of death. Yep, just straight up death. In what was called the Whitewall II Study, British researchers studied 10,000 public servants to examine how their sleep patterns over 20 years affected their mortality. Short answer: It did. Long answer: Folks who regularly slept between five and seven, or sometimes fewer, hours per night nearly doubled their risk of death from any cause. Apparently your body can actually be too tired to bother saving itself.

Next time you think one more episode of Netflix bingeing before bed is worth it, please reconsider. Breaking Bad is great, but it’s not worth dying for.

It’s not brain rot, but it’ll still kill ya. The University of Queensland in Australia found that for every hour of TV watched after age 25, study participants lost 22 minutes of their lives. In more comprehensive terms, spending a lifetime average of six hours a day in front of the TV shaves 4.8 years off a lifetime. Why?

Researchers say it’s hard to tell, but speculate that it’s a combination of lack of exercise in that time coupled with mindless snacking. This increases risk for obesity, diabetes, heart disease and other chronic illnesses. Like we said before, that extra episode before bed is really not worth it.

Being short. Seriously? As if top shelves weren’t punishment enough, apparently being short can be detrimental to your health. When studying 10,000 men in a stroke study, researchers in Israel found the shortest group was 54 percent more likely to have a stroke than the tallest group. Why? Not too sure, they said. Maybe poor nutrition at an early age or a disruption of growth hormones. Either way there’s nothing you can do about it, shrimp.

No one is safe in this wicked world. A study published in Cancer Epidemiology, Biomarkers, & Prevention says tall women are 17 percent more likely to develop melanoma, breast, ovarian and colon cancers and 23 percent more likely to develop cancer in the thyroid, kidneys, rectum or blood. Tall men are more likely to develop aggressive prostate cancer than short ones. Research in the Netherlands has found that, while in utero, tall peoples’ insulin-like growth factor systems become active earlier than those of short folk, which can permanently activate cell growth and increase cancer risk. Again, there’s no solution to this. So… just take your vitamins and stuff.

SIX HOURS A DAY IN FRONT OF THE TV SHAVES

4.8 YEARS OFF A LIFETIME.

If your spouse doesn’t kill you, your heart might. According to an autopsy review of 5,559 sudden deaths by the American Heart Association, 75 percent of people who died during intercourse were having sex with someone other than their betrothed. Usually their partner was significantly younger and the deceased had consumed plentiful food and alcohol prior to bedtime. Stay safe and faithful out there, folks.

According to the National Safety Council, choking is the eighth highest cause of accidental injury and death in the country. It’s most likely in children under 5 and seniors 65 and up. Hot dogs are the most common perpetrator. (They always did seem suspicious.) Of course, most meals go off without a hitch, but do educate yourself on Red Cross protocol to aid someone who is choking or to save yourself should you begin choking while alone. A hot dog gone bad is not a good enough reason to go. Your obituary will go viral, and the Internet will not be kind to you.

The next time you’re feeling less Care Bear and more Grumpy Cat, leave your frown right where it is. It could save your life. A study called The Longevity Project began in 1921 and followed 1,500 10 year olds through their lifetimes. One discovery it made was that cheerful, humorous people were more likely to die at a younger age than their slightly more melancholy counterparts. Researchers said it seemed they were more likely to take risks with their health, as the data showed they were more likely to drink, smoke and eat unhealthily compared to those who were characterized as “prudent” and “persistent.”

Obviously the benefits of wearing sunscreen include: 1. no sunburn, 2. less visible signs of aging and 3. decreased risk of skin cancer. It’s a great deal, really. But slathering it on could be disrupting your body’s intake of vitamin D, which maintains strong bones and a tough immune system. Researchers in Europe actually estimate one in four women who died from breast cancer would have survived if they had maintained the proper vitamin D levels to support their bodies. Vitamin D supplements are helpful, but some doctors argue vitamin D produced by the skin lasts two to three times longer in the body than the supplement version. Instead, step out into the sun for 10 minutes each day to absorb enough rays to give your body a boost without posing any risk to your skin.

Health authorities usually recommend eight 8-ounce glasses of water per day to satisfy your body’s needs. Being an overachiever in this category, unfortunately, can be deadly. Water intoxication occurs when you take in too much water in too short a period for the kidneys to process it, leading to potentially fatal swelling of the brain and lungs. Even when it isn’t deadly, overhydration can cause nausea, vomiting, headache and feeling feverish. Most of us struggle to meet the 64-ounce requirement for the day, but if you’re an athlete or someone with a taste for club drugs, which give users an insatiable thirst, watch your liquid intake. Or lay off the ecstasy. Your choice.

We all know not to mix bleach and ammonia when scrubbing the bathroom—mmm, chloramine vapors and potential explosive compounds, anyone? Here are some other combos to avoid in future scrubbing scenarios: Bleach + vinegar = toxic chlorine gas. This means chemical burns on skin, eyes and lungs. Bleach + rubbing alcohol = chloroform. It’s a recipe for damaged eyes, lungs, skin, liver, nervous system and kidneys as well as nausea and dizziness.

Hydrogen peroxide + vinegar = paracetic acid. Because these two compounds are frequently used in natural cleaning DIYs, just remember they don’t play well together when mixing your own cleaning agents. Together they’ll irritate eyes, throat and skin and potentially scar these areas.

Acetaminophen is one of the most common drugs we take. It’s the main ingredient in many OTC pain relievers and is often built into other medications, like Nyquil, to ease symptoms of crummy colds. But that low-key acetaminophen can be a problem, because like Nyquil and Tylenol, you may be taking some of these medications simultaneously. Acetaminophen overdoses cause about 500 deaths per year in the United States and approximately 60,000 cases of liver damage (almost all of which are accidental). Make your medicine work for you, not against you, by always reading labels carefully. If acetaminophen is an ingredient in one of your medications, do not take more without consulting your doctor.

Side note: Ibuprofen is also known to lead to tears in the stomach lining and ulcers. Drinking while taking exacerbates this problem. Know thy medication, friends.