Page 1

motley october 2010 - issue no. 1

O Emperor

The band they’re all talking about...

Back to College Get suited and booted in the latest trends for autumn...

Anglo Irish Rich men borrow and poor men pay... Š MH

Editor Aisling Twomey Motley, n, the characteristic dress of the professional Fool; a varied mixture; Just like the proverbial Fool, life for Motley hasn’t been easy. In the past few years, the magazine has been stilted in its production. We’ve had a bad start- but we’re working on it. I think that everyone deserves to know what we’re up against. Student media is easy to criticise but hard to maintain. Resources are tighter than the skin of an apple; sheer grit and determination are necessary. Motley shares a pokey half office in the basement of the Student Centre. There’s no mobile phone reception. There’s no internet access. The Mac that’s set up down there could be best described as retro. It dates from when dinosaurs roamed the earth and Maggie Thatcher was a nipper. The laptops we carry, cameras we use, programs we utilise, calls we make and texts we send are ours personally. Publishing Motley is likely a yardstick for foolishness, but we are determined to make sure that our folly is your fun. If you have something you want to write, or even a glimmer of an idea, let us know. We’ll answer all calls (unless, ironically, we’re in the office....), and we’ll respond to all emails (unless, ironically...). We hope that you enjoy Motley; it’s been a blast to bring it to you.

The Team aisling twomey adam dinan audrey dearing kellie morrissey john murphy siobhán meehan kathryn o regan andrew mcdonnell michael holland muire o hara

daithi Linnane

Editor In Chief - Current Affairs Editor Deputy Editor In Chief - Features Editor - Entertainment Editor Deputy Entertainment Editor - Interviews and Local Editor Fashion Editor - Men’s Fashion Editor Photographic Editor - Design/ Layout - Advertising Editor -


© MH

Contents On the cover...


Luke Field shows us the bleak path to cleaning up the Anglo Irish mess.


Siobhan Meehan talks to band of the moment O Emperor.


Find out what to wear and how to wear it this semester.

Current Affairs 6.

Is it time for USI to go back to basics?, asks Eoghan McMahon.


Sean Roberti explains the politics and lingo of climate change.


Laura Harmon considers the past and future of the LGBT movement.

Entertainments 14.

Chris Redmond considers the serious art of films twists.


Siobhan Meehan shows you the best nights out on the town.

Features 23.

The Perfect Stranger Project has landed in Cork.

29. Learn more about Haven and Haiti when UCCers volunteer.


Classroom Classics page 36

Fashion 33.

Kathryn O’Regan brings you fashion from film.


Andrew McDonnell advises the men on how to look good on the cheap.


Current Affairs

Adam Dinan

‘Colleges not doing enough for young entrepreneurs’ adam dinan, current affairs editor


rish universities are not doing enough to encourage budding entrepreneurs to advance their skills and gain exposure to suitable business practices allowing them to flourish. That’s according to Collette Twomey, one of the finalists in the 2010 Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year competition, now in its thirteenth year. She spoke recently to Motley about her own experience of developing business creativity and the importance of incorporating fresh perspectives into an organization.

“they are more technologically capable and less restrained by old habits ... they’re not as fearful of risks and you must take risks to succeed in this area” “Young people are vital in any company that wants to remain competitive,” she insisted. “They are more technologically capable and less restrained by old habits ... they’re not as fearful of risks, and you must take risks to succeed in this area.” As an employer of UCC undergraduates on work experience programmes, she stressed the need for reform of the current method of assigning placement in Irish colleges, which she says has a crucial influence on future opportunities and decisions. The present system, as she sees it, does not encourage enough involvement from employers in discussing business workings with candidates. “I think that

Universities should look at establishing a panel, including trades-people and professionals – the employers themselves, which would assist and liaise with students who are considering their options for work placement.” She argued that changes such as these would be mutually beneficial, “because the advisors would be specialists with a working knowledge of business, and ultimately want the right people coming up through the ranks.” A similar format is applied in several European countries, and would not necessarily mean an increase in expenditure for cash-strapped Irish colleges. “I think personally that these people, if you involve them more, will be only too happy to help because they’d be getting so much back from it themselves.” At the very least, she says, she would participate in a consultation process on the suitability of present arrangements and the potential advantages of increased industry involvement.

organisation.” In spite of this, Twomey took on the running of the family business after the death of her husband Edward. “I think that, being a woman in that situation, people would have expected me to let it go and probably retire and sell the business.” On the contrary, she has kept alive a tradition dating back almost 40 years, and overseen the expansion and diversification of what was once a small country business into a nationwide brand employing 42 staff members, with an annual wage bill of €1 million. “People recognise the company, particularly in the locality, and I think that we’ve maintained a great relationship with the people of the town and the people of Cork generally. I’d like to think that the organization will continue for some time to come.”

“i think that, being a woman in that situation, people would have expected me to let it go and probably retire and sell the business.”

She has a special fondness for UCC, having worked in conjunction with the Food Science Department in the 1990s as the recipe for white pudding was developed. This was a key turning point in the fortunes of her company, in the industry generally. Perhaps in light of this experience, she recognises the input of academics and students in creating new business opportunities. “It is extremely important to utilise the science and skills available through colleges – that is the future.”

As head of Clonakilty Foods Company, Twomey is also aware of the greater challenges facing women in enterprise leadership. She is one of only 2 female finalists in the competition, and one of a growing minority of female business chiefs in Ireland. “Traditionally, the man has always been seen as the natural leader in any

The Ernst & Young Entrepreneur of the Year 2010 awards ceremony takes place on October 21st in the Citywest Hotel, Dublin. The event can be viewed live on RTE 1. For more information, see


Anglo-Irish: Deciphering The Spin saving anglo irish will cost the poorest in order to protect the country’s elite, argues

luke p. field


reland’s beloved zombie bank seems to be undergoing some cost revision these days. Initially, we were being told that Anglo Irish would cost €25 billion to keep afloat. Then last month, it emerged that a far more realistic figure would be €35 billion. This allowed Anglo CEO Mike Aynsley to announce, with inexplicable pride, that the actual cost to the taxpayer would be “far below” that figure, at a mere €28.5 billion. So, it appears that there is no shortage of people asking the question of how much Anglo’s life support will cost, and no shortage of answers either. What’s troubling is the apparent lack of people asking why it’s necessary to keep Anglo afloat at all. And as is typical, when nobody bothers to ask questions, answers become thin on the ground. The closest thing we’ve had to an “explanation” from Taoiseach Brian Cowen is that letting the bank fall would hit the taxpayer to the tune of €70bn. No rationale for this figure appears to exist in the public domain. He appears to have simply plucked it out of the air.

what’s troubling is the apparent lack of people asking why it’s necessary to keep anglo afloat at all.

Which brings us, rather neatly, to the all-important issue of payment. Disregarding all the hyperbole and propaganda about it being an “essential” financial institution, the real reason we’re keeping Anglo afloat is to avoid the bank from defaulting on its massive debt.

One could be forgiven for being sceptical of Cowen’s financial acumen given that he was one of the Ministers that presided over our headlong descent into the recession. Current incumbent Brian Lenihan has also proven to be a good little soldier in Fianna Fáil’s army of PR muddlers and spin doctors. In his department’s press release of the 8th of September, Lenihan was quoted as saying that the decision by the Government “will provide certainty about the future of Anglo Irish Bank” and that resolution of the situation “is essential to the promotion of confidence and stability in our financial system.” Strong words, but still no hint of exactly why Anglo is seen as central to this turnaround. ©

Again, Government PR monkeys will probably tell you that this is “essential” because such a default would harm Ireland’s national credit rating. I cannot stress strongly enough how bogus this claim is. After all, Ireland’s credit rating is currently lower than that of Greece, a country which allowed its economy to utterly collapse and is currently being bailed out by the rest of Europe. Things could scarcely get worse. Just who stands to lose money from this default, anyway? A quick look at Anglo’s previous financial strategy gives a pretty clear indication: it is an investment and lending bank that invested in, and loaned, primarily to construction developers. It’s fair to say, then, that the ones who stand to lose out in the event of a collapse are construction developers. The same construction developers that led us into the recession, and the same construction developers that Fianna Fáil has traditionally protected. Funny, that.

“ mike aynsley of anglo irish bank

Let’s investigate further. What does Anglo, in its current form, actually do that makes it so essential? Apparently, it has been split into a funding bank (the “good” bank) and a recovery bank (the “bad” bank). Except that the funding bank exists to loan money to customers, which it doesn’t even do (I quote the Department of Finance’s statement: “this bank will not engage in any lending”) and the recovery bank merely exists to transfer as much of Anglo’s massive debt as possible to NAMA by 2015. This, to me anyway, suggests that we paid €25– €35bn for two banks, and yet are receiving, well, none.


ireland’s credit rating is currently lower than that of greece

So, instead of a few wealthy developers footing the bill for Anglo, everyone will chip in through the spending of our tax money, right? Wrong. Prevailing statistics over the past number of years show that the top earners only pay 1% of Ireland’s total income tax takings, presumably through the use of accountants that can claim the maximum available tax credits and non-taxable earnings for their clients, and also through paying taxes in countries with lower rates. In other words, thanks to our broken tax system, our deluded neo-liberal society, and a Government that appears ill-equipped to manage the finances of a street stall, the poor will pay so that the rich don’t have to. As always.

Current Affairs

Union should consult its grassroots the students’ union needs to shore up support against fees once again if they want the full confidence of their members, argues eoghan mcmahon.


nother college year dawns and tuition fees are once again high on the social and political agenda. Their reintroduction has been on the cards since 2002 and the debate has become increasingly topical since then. But I don’t want to debate the merits of bringing back fees here. Instead, I want to discuss the fact that the events over the past two years have genuinely shaken at least some of the support for the Students’ Union’s current anti-fees stance; and that student representatives shouldn’t ignore it. Despite the fact that the Union in UCC held a referendum in early 2009 to legitimise this stance, an issue that was at one stage over and done with amongst students has re-emerged, largely due to changing economic circumstances both globally and at home. The reasons why this is occurring are, I imagine, centred around the fact that the full extent of the crash is now beginning to kick in, and the dire straits in which the country finds itself has led to doubts about previous decisions and arrangements. The arguments for reintroduction have been getting louder, and the arguments against have gotten more unsure. Whether or not it’s to lead to another vote,

This is not just in the media, but on campus itself. This doubt as to the legitimacy of the union’s stance has to be tackled, and in my opinion has to be done sooner rather than later. Do the reasons why we voted to oppose tuition fees in early 2009 still stand? Have things changed, changed utterly? Does student opinion now favour a more subtle approach? Or indeed, does student opinion now favour a more militant approach? The best course of action to deal with this, in my opinion, is to re-ignite the debate ourselves, and at least reaffirm the reasons for which we have taken this past viewpoint.

© Bryan O’Brien

Opening up debate on this issue again opens the possibility of getting a more accurate reading as to what the student body really thinks of fees.It could be the case that there’s an appetite for fees in a completely different manner to how the government have been planning to go about it, but if so the student movement leaders would want to recognise this. The problem is that it’s currently a (near) total unknown. If the current stance that is being taken is correct, then the powers-thatbe within the Union should have nothing to fear from explaining it, justifying it and

A Year For Revenge

if necessary seeking an updated mandate. Things have changed since early 2009; it may be time to ask again. Regular debate and reaffirment of purpose is the only way in which a representative organisation can claim to be truly democratic and legitimate in its actions. A failure to facilitate and encourage debate and critique can only lead to an organisation looking unreasonable and self-serving. We all accept that there is a huge shortfall in funding currently available to Universities to do what they need to do. It is a genuine problem affecting students that we should be speaking out about. A blind eye turned to the fact that the leadership of the student movement may no longer have the necessary mandate to legitimise its current stance (or any stance), on the reintroduction of fees will do no-one any good. When there are activists on the ground who are becoming unsure of the current path being taken then representatives should be seriously taking note, because it is only through these activists that any real change can be affected; in any direction. The success of the movement depends on having the support of the students. The leaders of the movement need to convince the student population they’re right in the line they are taking, or the movement as a whole runs the risk of becoming irrelevant and students both now and in the future will suffer enormously.

beginning to earn the tag of nearly-men. Up until this September they were the best team of the past 10 years not to win an All-Ireland championship. The problem was not a weak Cork but rather a very strong Kerry and an equally strong Tyrone. While they put Kerry to the sword in the Munster championship several times during the past decade, once they stepped outside the comforts of Munster they froze. >>continued on page 7 ©

seán ó sé reviews the season’s hurling and gaelic football action This time last year, I wrote an article about the majestic continuity of the Kerry and Kilkenny teams. Last September, Kerry and Kilkenny beat Cork and Tipperary respectively in the AllIreland football and hurling finals. This year, Lazarus would not have been able to pull off the feat of rising from the grave of a final defeat. Both Cork and Tipperary growled the cry of revenge to earn their place in history as All-Ireland champions for 2010. Cork like to describe themselves as ‘Rebels’, but following their near misses of the last several years, they were


>>A Year for Revenge from page 6 Most notably last year when they sent Kerry packing in the Munster championship, only to meet them once again in the All-Ireland final. Kerry were by no means impressive during last year’s championship. Cork still could not get over this voodoo and suffered a numbing defeat in the final. 2010 was last chance saloon for Cork. The team had been together for a few years and many wondered how long they could stick together. After winning the National League they seemed to be on the right track yet being knocked out of the Munster Championship did not bode well. After several shaky performances in the qualifiers and the quarter final, and a scramble against the Dubs in the semis, they made it to the final. On the day, it was experience that counted. Even though Down played with more flare, it was Cork who were stronger. And they had a fantastic admiral in Conor Counihan. Graceful and diligent as ever, he managed to steer the Cork ship into the Hogan Stand to collect the Sam Maguire. Tipperary got a glimpse of the Liam McCarthy Cup last year, only from the field as Kilkenny raised it the Hogan Stand. After

three years of dominance Tipperary were the closest team to slaying the mighty Kilkenny and put an end to their four-in-a-row dreams during the 2009 season. Alas it was not to be their year as Kilkenny once again raised the bar and continued their winning streak. Liam Sheedy’s men were down but not out. After coming so close and suffering such a crushing defeat, many believed that it would be hard for Tipp to rise again. This sentiment was compounded by a heavy loss to Cork in the Munster Championship. Yet the team regrouped, reenergized and produced one of the greatest ever displays of hurling in a very tight game against Galway in the quarter final. The match was so fluid and intense that it possibly gave Tipp the boost of energy they needed to make it past Waterford in the semi-final and earn their place in an All-Ireland final for a second year in a row. They were to face a Kilkenny team that were attempting to win their fifth title back to back, a feat never seen in the history of the GAA. Five-in-a-row or not, nothing was going to stop this Tipperary team. The three goals from Lar Corbett were enough to seal their place as All-Ireland Champions for 2010.

You’ve been Quangoed! ultan connolly leads us down the rabbit hole to the bewildering world of irish state agencies.

Ah yes, recruitment in Quangos. Most appointments to the boards in charge are not subject to competition, but made directly by ministers. Unsurprisingly then, they consist largely of a potpourri of cronies, comrades and failed fellow politicians. Environment Minister John Gormley recently appointed two former Green Party councillors to the Private Residential Tenancies Board (PTRB), while Maurice Ahern – brother of that loveable rogue Bertie – sits on the board of the Sports Council. Celia Larkin, Berties’ ex-girlfriend, is on the board of the National Consumer Agency, pocketing €34,000 over a two year period in expenses.

During the heady days of the Ireland’s economic boom, the government decided to create publicly-funded agencies to deal with emerging policy issues and public tasks. It was decided that the formation of such public bodies would facilitate the efficient distribution of public funds to where they are most needed in a fast-changing society. These state bodies are defined as QuasiAutonomous-Non-Governmental-Organisations or Quangos. The autonomous governance structures of these agencies has made them difficult to monitor with the result that they began springing up like mushrooms in a wet field in autumn, many with bewildering remits affording staff a decent wedge of the allocated funding. Between salaries; expenses; administration and rent, most of the funding for these Quangos is used up before they even begin to tackle their remit. Definite figures are difficult to procure but best estimates show Ireland has approximately 800 Quangos, with a total annual budget of €13billion. They range from the very big agencies like Fás to curious little ones such as the Salmon Commission. Some Quangos, such as the Environmental Protection Agency Review Group, have been set up with the sole remit of assessing other Quangos. There is even a genuine mushroom Quango, termed the Mushroom Taskforce. Why, one might ask, would state departments so easily hand out these tasks to autonomous organisations? In essence, they allow said departments to concede all responsibility for failings in the service provided to the Quango in charge. If you’re not in charge you can’t be responsible. Just ask Minister for Health Mary Harney about the health services and she’ll pass you on to the HSE. Nobody seems to be able to reign in these Quangos, least of all the ministers responsible for their creation and recruitment.


if you’re not in charge you can’t be responsible. just ask minister for health mary harney about the health services and she’ll pass you on to the hse.

An Board Snip Nua, itself a state agency, has recommended a major culling of such bodies to reduce public spending and Finance Minister Brian Lenihan pledged in 2008 that some 41 agencies would be axed or merged. Recently this figure was amended to 30, but to date only 16 have been culled or amalgamated. Among the first up for the chop was the National Adult Learning Council; the Centre for Early Childhood Development and the Combat Poverty agency which has been subsumed into the Department of Social Welfare. Ironically, the Grangegorman Development Agency, set up in 2006 to develop a super campus for DIT colleges, is still operating with an annual budget of €1.5 million. Education minister Batt O’Keefe is preparing a memo for the government on its future. All in all, the complexity of the issue is showing no signs of abating with the future sure to require several new Quangos to expedite the cessation or merging of existing agencies. Quango, Quango!

Current Affairs

THE SCIENCE AND POLITICS OF CLIMATE CHANGE sean roberti talks about a green planet- and how to make it a reality


everal decades ago, scientists began to notice that carbon dioxide levels in the atmosphere were rising alarmingly fast. In just 50 years, the concentration of CO2 has risen from 318 parts per million (p.p.m.) to 388 p.p.m. The concentration hasn’t been that high for hundreds of thousands of years. Carbon dioxide traps heat from the sun and prevents it from escaping back into space, like a greenhouse. We know where the CO2 is coming from. Most of it is coming from the burning of fossil fuels such as coal and oil. There are now 30 billion tonnes of CO2 emitted globally every year.. Since 1900, mean global temperatures have risen by nearly three quarters of a degree. Average temperatures during the past 15 years have been the highest ever recorded. The higher temperatures are causing polar ice caps to melt. In the past 40 years, the Arctic ice cap has become 40% thinner. Sea levels have risen by 20 cm since 1900. Many mountain glaciers have also melted. 80% of the glaciers that were on Mount Kilimanjaro are gone. If Greenland’s ice sheet melts, sea levels will rise by over seven meters. Given what’s at stake, one might expect politicians around the world to be eager to do something about it. Instead, some of them have been making a complete spectacle of themselves. Christine O’Donnell, a Republican senate candidate for Delaware, USA said that a cap and trade bill to limit CO2 emissions would “kill jobs” (O’Donnell is staunchly pro-life). Of course, Delaware will have lots of jobs if its coastal cities are permanently flooded and have to be rebuilt. Politicians in the US disagree about whether climate change is caused by human activity. The difference is largely a partisan one and the sceptics are usually Republican. Even though the mathematics of CO2 emissions is relatively straightforward and the science is very clear, many Republicans

© 2009 Ferdi Rizklyanto

find it altogether confusing. Roy Blunt of Missouri believes “there isn’t any real science to say we are altering the climate path of the Earth.” Mike Crapo of Idaho said that “while there is no dispute over the fact that the Earth’s climate has changed many times over the planet’s history, the underlying cause of these climactic shifts is ultimately not well-understood.” Jim Huffman of Oregon believes that humans could quite easily adapt to climate change. These climate-sceptic Republicans get a lot of support from the Tea Party movement, a right wing lobby group that sprung up in 2009 to protest against President Obama’s economic reforms. They are portraying the Democrats, who currently have a majority in both Houses of Congress as a party of tax and bureaucracy that destroys jobs. There’s an election looming in November and the Republicans look set to make substantial gains. Back home, in a recent interview on the Late Late show, former Defence Minister Willie O’ Dea called our carbon levy an “ideological tax”. When people in power start calling science an ideology, there’s definitely something wrong. In Europe, for the most part, the debate is about what governments should do about climate change, if anything. Some politicians


are strangely silent on the issue and others don’t seem to think that much needs to be done. However, very few will try to create confusion or be sceptical about the science. Czech president Vaclav Klaus is an exception. Like many of the Republicans in the US, he thinks that climate change science is all part of a giant Communist conspiracy against the free market. Ironically, the conspiracy theorist Republican Party is heavily funded by oil companies. Many Republicans who until recently accepted the science are now having to toe the party line. Yet, in spite of all that wrong in the world, there are reasons to be hopeful. Many governments are now taking the issue of climate change very seriously. In Ireland, since entering government in 2007, the Green Party has made climate change a top priority. Thanks to them:

• 16% of our electricity now comes from renewables. • New regulations have made new homes 60% more energy efficient. • Over €100M a year is being given in grants to improve the energy efficiency of existing homes. • A carbon tax of 15 euro per tonne is a disincentive for CO2 emissions. • Motor tax and vehicle registration tax are now emissions based. • Ireland is preparing to begin rolling out electric vehicles. • Over 16,000 green jobs have been created. What happens next is up to us. We all have a role to play in determining our future. As a global community, we have the power to reverse the trend of climate change. We have very little time left so we must do it quickly.

LGBT laura harmon, ucc lgbt campaigns & human rights officer, talks to some of the key figures in ireland’s gay rights movement about past victories and future battles. Cathal Kerrigan, UCC Students’ Union President of 1980/1981 and one of the founding members of the UCC Gay Society, remembers when times were different. ‘It was all very hush, hush,’ he recalls, reminiscing on his early days as a student at the college. ‘There was no Gay Society back then, things were very different’. Kerrigan fought hard to establish the Society (now known as UCC LGBT) in 1980, and found it a welcome turn-around when the University itself approached him three years ago to establish UCC’s LGBT Staff Network. ‘Attitudes to these issues have certainly changed a lot.’ When asked about his opinion on the current campaign for same-sex civil marriage in Ireland, he assures me that he will never marry. ‘It is not the outcome I wanted.’ Like many in contemporary Ireland, he doesn’t buy into the values which he feels marriage promotes. However, he firmly believes in an ‘inclusive’ rather than an ‘exclusive’ society and describes himself as a ‘reluctant convert’ to the campaign, purely because he recognises that everybody should have freedom of choice and equality of opportunity. ‘It is beneficial for society as a whole to have inclusivity ... there is no such thing as half equality.’

I experienced a gay community that was very confident, diverse and politicised.

Maurice Ryder, Secretary of UCC’s LGBT Staff Network, takes the view that ‘whether someone personally agrees with the idea of marriage or not, the reality of the situation is that it is a state institution which only heterosexual couples have access to – this is


not equality.’ Maurice, who feels the need to take a proactive approach to bringing about change, raised €1,200 over the summer for MarriagEquality by completing five triathlons throughout the country. Noelle Moran, Organiser and Coordinator of LGBT Noise’s Media Team, remarks that ‘by gaining access to the right to marry, LGBT relationships and our families will be recognised, valued and protected on equal legal, economic and social terms to our straight counterparts.’ ‘I was living in London for over three years,’ she explains. ‘There, I experienced a gay community that was very confident, diverse and politicised. When I returned home to Dublin over 5 years ago, I felt disappointed and frustrated that our community seemed less confident and LGBT politics seemed to be less in the public arena, despite our glaring lack of rights. This is why I got involved with LGBT Noise.’ Moninne Griffith, of MarriagEquality, views the Civil Partnership Bill as inadequate. ‘There are many same-sex couples in this country who already have children’, she explains, ‘and there is no protection or mention of these children in this bill.’ Moninne condemns the deliberate and conscious exclusion of children from this bill and believes that creating a separate system for same-sex couples only serves to further stigmatize these families as unequal. ‘Call something different and it creates a difference.’ So what does the future hold for the campaign? According to Noelle, ‘there are many obstacles facing all campaigners for marriage equality. We are all volunteers and give our time and energy for the cause alone. It is essential that we have new blood and fresh ideas all the time to keep the


motivation going and campaign alive.’ ‘Many both inside and outside the gay community’, she explains, ‘are still unaware to what degree they are discriminated against by law. So educating and informing the community and wider public is core.’ Both Moninne and Noelle agree that the current economic crisis does not help: government and media attention have naturally focused on job losses and banking crises. As a result, LGBT issues have been pushed further and further down the political agenda. ‘Cuts in equality funding are also a wider problem at the moment,’ Monnine explains. Nevertheless, both of these organisations have advanced the campaign so much in recent years and seem determined to persist until equality is secured. ‘I have heard it expressed by a few people,’ describes Noelle, ‘that we should be grateful for getting any legal recognition at all, while some have expressed the feeling that it is a good stepping stone to full equality. Perhaps they feel we can just sit back and in time that equality will just come to them; Noise certainly doesn’t see it that way.’ ‘We only have to look at other movements that created large shifts in how our world is constructed – the suffragette movement, the struggle for civil rights in the US – none of these fights for equality were achieved by sitting back; every step on the road to equality was hard won.’ To find out more about MarriagEquality or LGBT Noise, you can visit their websites: If you would like to find out more about UCC LGBT Society’s Campaigns or would like to get involved then you can contact Laura at

Current Affairs

©Julia Healy

Students should tap into the social side of college life john o’donoghue


ducation means more than just academic learning, it’s about interacting and socialising with other students, which in turn relieves the pressures of being buried beneath a pile of books all year round. To quote a very appropriate article from David Mitchell to back this statement up “three to Four years spent away from home, slightly studying but mainly making friends and mistakes, and working out new philosophies of life at 2am with the help of a wine box, is a timehonoured way of preparing young people for life.” Some of the greatest memories students have of their time in College are of their involvement in Societies and attending Societies events and not, to any great surprise, the 9am lecture on a Thursday morning after a night out. Human beings have always functioned in groups. Behavioural expectations within a group are defined by the culture; norms and roles are established over time, usually in response to needs and challenges of the environment. Tradition and practice strengthen these expectations, religion sanctifies them, and law codifies them. Institutions develop to enforce them. These are all necessary functional responses to the need for a group to operate efficiently. Societies are another form of Human groups, where like-minded students can meet and socialise without the pressure of thinking; “I don’t belong here”, or “I don’t fit in” which are usually thoughts developed at secondary school level. The diversity of

UCC Societies means practically every taste is catered for across all disciplines, meaning that nearly every student can feel like they belong to a group and as a result satisfying the basic Human urge to function as a group. Facilities and Departments have associated academic Societies who cater for their particular students but there also societies that provide interest for people for everything from debating to making tea. And this year there are more societies than ever before. But societies are not just about making sure everyone feels included in the transition to University life, they also provide the majority of entertainment and events to UCC. They also bring an enormous amount of revenue into the local economy around Cork City and County, which of course keeps Cork Inc. thriving as a bustling city with an incredible nightlife. It’s only two weeks into term and already there have been three mystery tours, various themed nights out and Table Quizzes along with a Beach Party or two. Ball season hasn’t even started yet, and when it does hotels around cork will be jumping over themselves to offer students the night of their lives. The crippling Irish hotel industry is hanging onto its pride by the tips of its fingers in the wake of collapsing tourist figures and smaller profit margins. Formal Balls are one of the largest money making events a hotel can run, especially when you look at the Commerce or Science Balls which have around a thousand attendees. Societies therefore hold the upper hand and should deal with

businesses around cork as such, hopefully getting better deals on a wide variety of events. Joining Societies therefore helps develop an ability to negotiate deals amongst other things including public speaking and debating. As everyone is aware in a recession jobs aren’t really in a plentiful supply, and adding societies related things to your CV can give you the upper hand in an interview situation. The Societies Guild Executive have recently made it even easier to join societies by adding a “Join a Society” button on the Societies section of, which signs a given email address up to the mailing list for a chosen society. So getting involved has never been easier, and you never know you might even have a little fun. Just to conclude I’ll finish with another David Mitchell quote “university isn’t about what you learn on the course, it’s about how that learning, how living and studying somewhere new, changes the way you think and who you are. Instead of forcing kids to make binding career choices at 17, higher education is supposed to give students who would benefit from further academic development a bit of space in which to find themselves”. And in my opinion that space is Societies.

John O’Donoghue is Media and Membership Development Officer with UCC Societies Guild. See

The End is Nigh

paul barry reviews the closing stages of the irish soccer season.

The World Cup is a now distant memory, while the All-Ireland triumph will soon follow it. The majority of English Premier League (and most European leagues), as well as Munster rugby, have only just begun. And, of course, Ireland’s qualifying campaign for Euro 2012 is underway, with quite a successful start. But, what of our own domestic football league – the League of Ireland? And, closer to home, Cork City?

Well, as has been long established since the early to mid naughties, the LoI runs through the summer, as opposed to the traditional winter campaign of most leagues. Therefore, while the majority of Europe are only rising from the slumber of the warmer months, we prepare for our own hibernation. Before we do, however, there’s the little matter of the run-ins of the two tiers of the League of Ireland. >>Continued on page 11


>>The End is High continued from page 10 The Premier Division table is much the same as this time last season. Shamrock Rovers lead the pile, while Bohemians are hot on their tails. On the outskirts, though unlikely to be much of a threat at the twilight stage of the campaign, lie St. Pats, Sligo and Sporting Fingal, respectively. The remaining Europa League spot, awarded to third place, is still on the radar for all three, though, so there’s still plenty to play for.

the easiest run in of the other teams chasing that final play-off, a late smash and grab is certainly far from inconceivable. After all, there have been plenty of campaigns where a comfortable lead was let slip, and various trophies lost by small margins – it’s about time City inflicted that misfortune onto others.

The domestic cup scene has thrown up a few interesting ties, this season, as well. First Division side Monaghan United made it all the What is now of more concern to the Rebel County is the First way through to the final before being beaten by Premier high-flyers Division, which houses Cork City. Following two seasons of financial Sligo Rovers. Meanwhile, the FAI Cup is also nearing a finish, with the © trouble, which the City faithful were powerless to semi-final draw pairing Bohemians with Sligo, and prevent, and faced a difficult time in aiding the Shamrock Rovers with Luas-line neighbours, St Pats. misfortunes, the club is now a fans-owned entity. With a place at the newly developed Lansdowne Road And, all in all, this season has turned out to be rather awaiting the finalists, it goes without saying that all successful. Despite heavy criticism of manager four sides won’t be short of motivation. Tommy Dunne’s perceived negative tactics, and a mid-season drought of wins, the Rebel Army have So, as we celebrate the recent All-Ireland victory, managed to turn their fortunes around. and gaze on at the football overseas, don’t forget to keep an eye on the final stages of the 2010 League of Though the Leesiders lie in mid-table, a mere five Ireland. And maybe even take a trip out to Turners points (at the time of writing) separates them from the Cross to see a bit of ball, banners and banter. nearest play-off spot. With City having arguably

Looters Will Be Killed tom smith challenges our common perception of the human reaction to natural disasters. Imagine a disaster unfolding. A serious earthquake centred on a city in a “developing” country, for example. Few, if any, of us will ever have direct experience of such an event but I’m sure we can visualise what we think would be its implications. Even before the aftershocks hit, all shoddily-constructed buildings have collapsed. The dead or dying lie trapped under rubble. Survivors are left with nothing, waiting for help, in a sparse metropolis of rubble. Looting starts almost instantly, with no respect for private property, getting worse as people hungrily start to scavenge. Not just food and basic supplies are taken but TVs and other consumer goods are seen disappearing from shop fronts.

with increased altruism and a disregard for socially-constructed conceptions of property. The better-off, no matter how destitute, often help the worse-off. Waiting powerlessly for help from external agencies, as seen in our imagined scenario, is another common fallacy which we often accept unthinkingly. Take author Rebecca Solnit’s example of Manhattan in the immediate aftermath of 9/11 as an inspiring example of human cooperative possibility. We know plenty about the rescuers in the towers but we hear considerably less about the flotilla, ranging from yachts to historic rescue boats, which spontaneously organised and evacuated 300,000 to 500,000 people in a matter of hours, as bridges, tunnels and subways were closed off. For comparative purposes, the Dunkirk evacuation rescued roughly the same amount but over a period of nine days. ©

Fights break out over scarce supplies. As aid begins to trickle in, the army are forced to keep order, even having to open fire to stop looting of the newly-available aid supplies. A common scenario, one might assume. The truth is that the lens through which we imagine the world is constructed from an elaborate web of stories and myths, a cultural windowpane whose existence shouldn’t be controversial. In essence, however, all these narratives are based on assumptions and prejudgements, some more grounded in reality than others. One image commonly portrayed in the media (be it Hollywood, newspapers, or television), is the natural human disposition to chaos, panic and uncontrollable violence in the aftermath of serious disasters. Haiti, New Orleans, Pakistan, Chile: the media focus often becomes the same. Valuable publicity taken up by scare stories of human avarice and brutality (often racially motivated, as in the case of New Orleans). As global disasters, with blurred natural/manmade lines, are predicted to become more common across the world for a plethora of reasons, confronting this miserable picture of human nature will take on even more relevance. Change must begin with scepticism from the audience; from the person viewing or reading about such claims. The truth is, for example, that crime rates often decline in the wake of a disaster. The best accounts from the ground indicate that communities nearly always cooperate innovatively to share meagre resources,


Moving the image of ordinary people caught up in disaster from one of passive “victims” to a resource for heightened resilience is an activity already underway around the world. The CORE programme in Oakland, California, for example, has trained almost 20,000 citizens in disaster preparedness, with skills including search and rescue, preparation of neighbourhood responses, first aid and much more. The impact of this on human lives is potentially huge, complementing existing emergency services. With our own recent experience of floods, freezes and water shortages in UCC and the wider Cork area, enhancing this bottom-up resilience could be the way to go. Either way, think twice about what you’re told next time the world’s media focus inevitably flits to a new disaster zone.


Kellie Morrissey

Kellie Morrissey catches a glimpse of the future, and boy does she like what she sees… Are you looking forward to october? Because you should be – Fincher does Facebook. Rodriguez doe’s illegal immigrants. Morgan Freeman, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren do aging espionage. It’s gonna be a goodun, and here’s why...


©columbia pictures

©columbia pictures


David Fincher


Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield, Justin Timberlake, Brenda Song

I doubted it, I have to admit. I’m still sort of doubting it – after all, it’s a movie about a website (more accurately, about the founding of a website, but still). A website which has only really been around for five or six years – only really exploded in Irish society about two years ago – and a website, friends, is a changeable thing: the rotting corpses of Bebo, Angelfire and Geocities will tell you just as much.

Strike one against The Social Network being amazing. Strike two is that, while Fincher has directed some pretty stellar movies (Se7en, Fight Club), he has also directed some turkeys (Zodiac) and some which have really just been really rather disgustingly adequate (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button).

The thing is, I can’t come up with a third strike, and so The Social Network is still in the running to be a pretty amazing film. If not laden with the potential for darkness like Se7en, Fight Club or hell, even Zodiac, The Social Network is going to be unique – dark drama is aplenty here, and with resident Master of All Things Dark and Disturbing, Trent Reznor, handling music, why wouldn’t it be?

Interesting to note: Facebook themselves have nothing to do with The Social Network – in deed, Facebook founder Zuckerberg (Jesse Eisenberg) is portrayed as somewhat of a tyrant. When asked about the audience’s reaction to his characters – perhaps suggesting that they are unsympathetic – Fincher replies, “I don’t want anyone’s sympathy – I want their respect.” Nice one, Finchy – you’ve got mine. Probably.

The Social Network is out in Irish cinemas on October 15th.

Gamble who carry the film, even evoking a brief chuckle now and again.

Digging a hole

when john murphy stares into the hole, the hole stares back into him… kinda

©e1 entertainment

The Thompson family have moved to a new home in the quiet town of Bensonville, where Dane (Chris Massoglia) and his younger brother Lucas (Nathan Gamble) discover a locked trap-door on the floor of their basement, concealing a bottomless hole. Along with Julie (Haley Bennett), The ‘girl-next-door’, the trio must face their darkest fears which emerge from the hole.

I am afraid. Very, very afraid… Who wouldn’t be petrified after witnessing the unfolding of a bad script, bland acting, and unoriginal ideas for ninety minutes? The director of Gremlins, Joe Dante, should look into the hole he created and see for himself. Will he recognise the feebleness of the lead actor? The easily foreseeable ‘jump’ moments? Or even the lacklustre script You’re not alone – a lot of that does which would only frighten us if we had to sound familiar. Clichéd? A bit. A quote from proof-read it? Massoglia offers a detrimental the movie poster: “What are you so afraid performance from Cirque du Freak (you of ?” Well, I’m not quite sure... better believe it), but it is Haley Bennett (The Haunting of Molly Hartley) and pint-sized [Fast-forward to seven seconds after the Nathan ending]


The only thing that saves the movie from ruination is the reasonably good visuals: a creative, and sometimes even playful, 3D treat. It still has some cheesy gimmicks, but the effects procure a pair of small wings to stop the film from falling flat. The Hole will undoubtedly be popular amongst eleven and twelve year olds who go with their families, but this film definitely lacks excitement and originality – especially for us veterans over fourteen (even though we may not always act like it). Did I enjoy any of it? I certainly did: munching scrumptious popcorn, watching the interesting previews, glancing at the three people I’m sharing the screen with (ha, funny story about that…) and wrestling with the plastic firmly enclosing the 3D glasses. An interesting night indeed...



©summit entertaining


Robert Schwentke


Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Karl Urban.

There’s something remarkably adorable about aging celebrities – some thing endearing about Bruce Willis’ perennially bald head, Morgan Free man’s twinkling eyes, John Malkovich’s laughter lines. Helen Mirren com pletes Red’s cast of older professionals but she, of course, is sexy as ever. With such a fantastic cast, how could Red fail to disappoint? Complet ing the casting perfection the four are (ludicrously and wonderfully) cast as retired spies in Robert Schwentke’s new movie, based on the graphic novel of the same name by Warren Ellis.

©summit entertaining

©summit entertaining

Everything’s great when you’re downtown... aisling twomey discovers she is willing to pervert justice to help a criminal in Ben Affleck’s latest thriller, The Town. The Town opens at the scene of a bank heist orchestrated by Doug McRay (Ben Affleck). When bank manager Claire Keesey spots something she shouldn’t, McRay keeps tabs on her. As McRay falls for the girl he once held hostage, he starts to yearn for a different life in a different place, but he learns (typically) that it’s not easy to quit crime. McRay’s psychopathic best friend Jem (Jeremy Remmer), an unpredictable victim of his own origin, is brilliant; his scenes are violent and grotty, and realistic enough to make you wince; he doesn’t care who he hurts – or why. There’s a particularly great scene when he comes across McRay and Claire on a date - and steps in to make the situation tense and awkward. His fierce loyalty and addled deprivation make the movie much darker - without him, it wouldn’t be all that good. Jem’s sister Krista, addict and alcoholic with a toddler and a messed up life, is Affleck’s persistent flame before Claire

Schwentke’s most notable films to date have been the pretty dire, if func tional, Flightplan and The Time Travellers’s Wife – with improved cast ing, experience and a solid backing from the graphic novel itself, will Red prove the turning point for Schwentke? It sure looks like fun – while the teaser trailer does have its fair share of pointless explosions, people lifting other people up and throwing them into office furniture, it also has John Malkovich channelling the spirit of Doc Brown, Bruce Willis looking tired and charming, and Helen Mirren shooting people around corners. As cre ator Warren Ellis states, “Who wouldn’t want to see Helen Mirren with a sniper rifle?” Who, indeed. Red is out in Irish cinemas on October 22nd.

comes along. Her slurred speech, fake toughness and pitiful situation, are enough to make you hate FBI man Frawley for manipulating her. She’s a human tragedy despite her peripheral role, and she prevents the film from going into cliché territory. The point of the film is that Charlestown, Boston isn’t a nice place – but it’s a hometown for the people in the story. No matter the lack of opportunity there, and no matter the violence, Charlestown is home – and each of the characters is proud of it in their own way. There’s no such thing as black and white here; the cruel Irish American mobster and his threats are nasty, but so is the Fed willing to destroy families to get what he sees as justice. Affleck isn’t a tragic hero caught in a bad ©warner brothers time; he’s a professional criminal at the head of a violent gang. But you want him to get his chance so much that you’d pervert justice to see it done. It’s not the most original concept in the world – but it’s done very well here, with no melodrama and no stunts. The Town is a dirty crime thriller full of human emotion, and it proves that Ben Affleck is a damn fine director.


Staying in? Rent for a Night - KICK-ASS An action comedy based on the Marvel comic, Matthew Vaughn’s Kick-Ass offers a different take on the ‘superhero’ movie. A high school ‘average Joe’ Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) asks why nobody has never actually tried to become a superhero in real life. Inspired by his treasured comics, he dons a suit, a mask, and becomes the powerless superhero ‘Kick-Ass’. Undeterred at his initial failure, he does his best to bring justice to the town, and eventually encounters two far superior superheros (Nicolas Cage and Chloe Moretz), becoming embroiled in their plot to destroy the local crime-boss, Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong).

©universal pictures

Action-packed with many laughs and great acting, this movie is a must-rent, with Moretz stealing every scene – even over award-winner Cage, who also offers a great performance.


TWIST, JUST DON’T SHOUT ABOUT IT Chris Redmond examines the art of twist endings...


t the start of the summer, my fellow Scorsese worshippers and I eagerly awaited the opening of the great man’s latest offering, the psychological thriller Shutter Island. Having become increasingly disillusioned by the excruciating dross of recent summer blockbusters served up by Michael Bay et al, a so-called “commercial” project from the man who gave us Taxi Driver and Goodfellas, promised very much indeed. Predictably, we were entranced, and marvelled once again at his vast cinematic palette.

Rosemary’s Baby (1968) Se7en (1995) Primal Fear (1996) The Sixth Sense (1999) Fight Club (1999) The Others (2001) The Illusionist (2006) Rec 2 (2009) Shutter Island (2010) However, on my way out of the theatre, and in the days that followed, I couldn’t but notice the one pervasive criticism levelled at the film, from Scorsese fanatics and neutrals alike – the apparent predictability of the “twist” ending. Here was a movie that, for all its breath-taking visuals and intriguing webs of mystery, was to be judged solely on the strength of its

conclusion. This confirmed one of my primary worries regarding cinema in the last few years – the curious overemphasis placed on the supposed intricacy and originality of the “twist” ending. This is a pretty recent obsession, by all accounts. In 1995 David Fincher’s Se7en and Bryan Singer’s The Usual Suspects contained jaw-dropping twists that left audiences at the time in a state of ecstatic shock. Fast forward four years to 1999 and you have M. Night Shyamalan’s The Sixth Sense, a movie famed for its stunning reveal at the end that seemed

l to r: rosemanry’s baby, the sixth sense, the others, the illusionist and the rec

to break new ground for twist endings in the way that it totally redeemed what was up until that point a rather laborious affair. Effectively, it changed our perception of the entire narrative, and, unlike Shyamalan’s more recent efforts, chilled us to the bone. And let’s not forget David Fincher’s Fight Club from the same year, which created a similar wave of excitement with its now-famous ending. Here we are now, a decade letter, and whenever a thriller of any repute comes out, recommendations will inevitably sound something like this: “Oh yeah, it was good alright, there was a great twist in it”. Does this sound familiar?

From my experiences, it is very familiar, but the downside to this fixation seems to be a worrying dismissal of good oldfashioned storytelling, the kind that Scorsese and his peers have become renowned for. I am going to refrain from spoiling the ending of Shutter Island, except to say that, having watched the film, I would contend that the twist is the very expectance of a twist in the first place. Anyone who is aware of Scorsese’s output will know that he likes to tell a story, very visceral stories, driven foremost by razor-sharp characterisations. In short, a gimmicky twist ending would be grossly out of character. We have become so accustomed to thrillers with devastatingly clever endings, or at least pretensions to that effect, but there comes a point when a dose of perspective is needed. Most reviews of Shutter Island marvelled at the intriguing plot and character development, but the most common criticism was that the ending was something of a cop-out, or a “cheat”, to quote Derek Malcolm in his review. Take one look at the critics’ consensus on Rotten Tomatoes and you’ll get the idea. Perhaps it’s time for us to realise that many filmmakers are confident enough in their own abilities to develop a narrative that relies very little on the potentially distracting nature of twist endings. After all, not every twist ending can be as genuinely earth-shattering and revelatory as Se7en or, indeed, The Sixth Sense.

ALSO COMING IN OCTOBER DESPICABLE ME - 15th October Music by Hans Zimmer, voices by Carell and Andrews, just about the most saccharine plotline ever (a supervillain discovers love despite himself through his fathering of orphan girls), all in three glorious dimensions? It’s times like these I wish I had a kid I could bring to the cinema to make my presence at such cute and child-centric movies slightly less creepy.

LEGEND OF THE GUARDIANS 3D - 15th October The full title of this film also includes the appendage The Owls of Ga’Hoole - I did a double-take, too, but not nearly as much of a double take as when I saw Zack Snyder 300, Watchmen - was directing. The film has opened to middling reviews so damn, these owls better be ripped.


VAMPIRES SUCK - 15th October I have no interest in the Twilight series and so I have even less interest in a well-timed spoof of Edward, Bella et al’s excellent adventures. Reviews so far have been dire. I’m still smarting from the blow Twilight has dealt all the cool vampires (Nosferatu represent) and so will not be attending.

Love, loss, and cinematography Tom Ford’s A Single Man

keavy o’sullivan takes a look at tom ford’s pretty and poignant directorial debut. A Single Man is fashion mogul Tom Ford’s first foray into the world of film, both as a director and writer. His cinematic version of the novel by Christopher Isherwood is the poignant story of one day in the life of a rapidly aging professor, George Falconer (Colin Firth). Firth gives the performance of a lifetime as the British expat in L.A., who is struggling to adapt to life after the death of his long term lover, Jim (Matthew Goode). George’s new life, without Jim, is beautifully empty, and this sad beauty is highlighted by the visual intensity of the film. His choice of sets, locations, costumes (interestingly, Ford appointed a Costume Designer from the film world, not the fashion world he is so well regarded by), and the overall appearance of the film takes the edge off what would otherwise be an emotionally and mentally demanding piece of cinema, making it a truly joyful and beautiful thing to watch. In Ford’s own words, he wanted the audience to come away with the idea that “the small things in our lives are really the big things in our lives”. Throughout the film Ford treats the viewer to a series of vivid coloured close-ups and images, seen through the eyes of George. While they are intensely beautiful images that wouldn’t look out of place in an advert for Ford’s fashion house, they fit in seamlessly with the serious and heartfelt message of the film, lending it credibility and a visual resonance that stays with the audience long after the end credits have rolled. A Single Man is now available to rent and buy.

©artina films

The portrayal of the relationship between George and Jim is arguably one of the most important depictions of gay partnership to come out of Hollywood. Colin Firth and Matthew Goode (Brideshead Revisited, Leap Year) both play their parts perfectly, neither of them pandering to the all too common image of “gay” men found in recent cinema. Many critics and gay rights supporters have suggested that A Single Man is a seminal moment in the role of homosexual relationships in Hollywood dramas. A Single Man is an incredible and unique film. In 2009, when everyone seemed to be focusing on the visual qualities of a film (remember Avatar?), Tom Ford didn’t disappoint them. He provided a stunningly beautiful film, with an overall look that fully supported the romantic ‘60s nostalgic mood that he had created, and this alone makes A Single Man well worth watching. Once you make that first step, the cast’s performance and the strong emotional undercurrent of the film draw you in for a brilliant experience.

Best bit: The drunken dance scene. Best quote: “What made it all worthwhile, were those few times I was able to really truly connect with another human being.” If you liked this, check out: The History Boys.

Les Mis on the silver screen

Cork Entertainment in October - Film dates for your diary by fiona burke

Cork Opera House Event:

Screening: Nowhere Boy


Thurs 21st Oct

Overview: Based on the adolescent years of John Lennon (played by Aaron Johnson) and directed by Samantha Taylor Wood. Nominated for four British Academy Film Awards, it is worth a look whether you are a Beatles fan or not.

Cork Entertainment in October - Theatre dates for your diary by fiona burke

Cork Arts Theatre Event:

A Clockwork Orange (The Wild Ensemble Theatre Group)


Wed 13th-Fri 15th Oct

Director: John Hayes Overview: Based on the popular book by Anthony Burgess it has also been adapted for the screen by director Stanley Kubrick. Expect lashings of ultra violence (and a turn from our Men’s Fashion Ed, Andrew, as Pete the droog)!


The world’s longest running musical has made theatrical history yet again: on the third of October, for the first time, three different productions (in The Barbican Theatre, The Queen’s Theatre, and The 02) ran in the same city at the same time, with a live broadcast from The 02 to Omniplex cinemas throughout Ireland. With over five hundred actors and musicians at The 02 for the live twenty-fifth anniversary production, it was a night to remember for lucky people with tickets to London and those who seized the opportunity to watch it in participating Omniplex cinemas nationwide. Selected Omniplex theatres will also be receiving transmissions of various operas from the ©emile bayard beginning of October. Bookings are limited, and those interested can check out for more details. “Les Misérables In Concert”: Live from The O2 will be available on DVD and Blu-ray from November 29th.



reko are an electro-pop band from kilkenny who supported paolo nutini in the savoy on the 23rd of september as part of the arthur’s day celebrations. members stephanie coady, kevin broderick, james walsh, and ucc music student aine mahony have also recently graced a limited edition cover of hot press magazine. having spent a precious ten euro on phone credit (almost four pints in the old bar), i rang frontman and chief songwriter kevin broderick ahead of the big gig.

electronica by Cathal Brennan and Kevin Curran

How would ye describe your music? People tend to class it as ‘electro-pop’, or ‘electronic pop,’ or whatever. But if I was to say a genre it’d be ‘psychedelic electronica’. People say to me that it is like electropop, but that there’s something a little bit different about it, it’s a bit psychedelic in my eyes.

Like all new bands, I presume ye’re on the pull for a contract – how has that been going? Well, we recently came third in the Guinness Our Thursdays competition. Everyone who I reckon it’s sort of like the early 90’s got to the final four had two days free studio dance music that was coming out of Manchester, like New Order. There’s a bit time in Sonar Studios in Dublin, paid for by of electroclash about it, but the drums are Universal Records. They are going to release a song by each band digitally. We already minimalist and ‘dancey’. recorded the song, and it should be released Yeah, that’s been said before by others. digitally in mid-October. So we’re hoping People have said as well that it’s sort of a that that will go well, and then things might cross between La Roux, Basement Jaxx and start to happen... The Prodigy.

How long have ye been playing? Stephanie and I, we’ve known each other for years. We started playing maybe two years ago. The songs back then were just demos; we were just messing around and we never intended on playing gigs. But about this time last year, we decided to get a drummer and start doing a few gigs, and then about 7 months ago we got Aine to play synths – and How does the band work when it comes to songwriting? now the band is complete, in my eyes. I write all the music of the songs. Steph Reko is a fairly unusual name, how did ye writes some of the lyrics too, but I’d make think of that? the majority of the electronic elements in Well, it kind of came about ages ago, when my studio, and then I can put them onto we weren’t taking ourselves too seriously. I the pedals and play them live. I switch was playing poker one night, and I saw on between bass and guitar for different songs the back of a card the reverse of the word when we’re playing live. James plays drums ‘Joker’ – Rekoj. So we decided to go with on a standard kit. Aine plays a Microkorg that for the craic, but once we got Aine and synthesiser which is hooked up to another James onboard and it got more serious, we dropped the ‘J’ and just called it Reko. People keyboard. didn’t really know how to pronounce it with Microkorgs are totally synonymous with the ‘J’. electronic. When I see a Microkorg, they’re kind of like Rekodge, Rekooge... an iconic thing of electronic music. Exactly.

Tenth time’s the charm for the Manics… … says tom collins Artist: Manic Street Preachers Album: Postcards from A Young Man Labels: Columbia Rating: 4/5 Postcards from a Young Man is the Manic’s tenth studio album. Preceded by a long line of award winning albums, the 2010 album has a lot to live up to. It sees the trio take a different path into the mainstream pop culture where front man James Bradfield has claimed that it’s the band’s “one last shot at mass communication.”

We had a photoshoot a while ago, and we got Aine to sort of hug the Microkorg in some photos, we thought it looked pretty cool, and it symbolised the electronic element.

There is no doubt that the album differs from their earlier work, turning full circle from their punk roots to almost ballad-like compositions. The use of orchestral backing and a gospel choir truly define the album for the most part. The lead track “(It’s Not War) Just the End of Love” shows how the band can really compose while still leaving a hint of their true colours. With guest artists such as Ian McCulloch, John Cale and Duff McKagan giving their input, the album is sure to go far.

It’s a pretty good foot in the door. We recorded over two days with a producer and engineer, fully paid for by Universal. It was the most fun I’ve ever had in the studio, but also the most pressured! Also, on Tuesday the 28th (of September) we’re heading up to Dublin to do a studio session for Dan Hegarty’s show on 2fm. We’ll be playing a totally live demo, it’ll be produced by their engineer, and then the four songs that we record will be played on Dan’s show in the next few weeks. Reko are playing in An Brog on Wednesday the 27th of October. You can catch them online at and at

Bradfield has stepped up in this album to produce powerful vocal melodies with some great hooks along the way. Be prepared to hear a lot more from this band in the coming year.

The aim of the album was to “go for big radio hits” and no song disappoints on that front.




Crash, Bang, Boom fiona burke meets with mark hogan, frontman of the four piece irish band hogan. Hogan could be described as musical endorphins! They express an admirable enthusiasm for their music and their fans. Despite their colourful, delightful image they are not without depth and expressivity. Make sure to give their new album Boom a spin. Fiona Burke caught up with frontman Mark Hogan to talk about influences, gigs and comic books... What artists or genres have you been influenced by? “Well I have to say, a bit of everything! I think if you are a good music fan one genre is not enough. I like classical arrangements, singer songwriters, Muse...” What was it like to work with producer Greg Haver (record producer for such bands as the Manic Street Preachers)? “It was amazing! He really got the best out of all of us and therefore the band and the music in general.” The artwork featured on Boom is very comic book/superhero themed, any particular reason for this? “We really wanted something bright to reflect the music. Also we wanted a package so we took into consideration merchandise, performance and music and this theme just worked for us as a whole.” Your music (particularly songs like Jealousy and I Want You) would sound

at home on the soundtrack of an American teen movie. Do you feel that there is a lot of American influence on Irish music today? “Not really. Perhaps amongst the emo and punk scene but from the bands we’ve seen I don’t really think so. I think we are one of the few bands that have that American sound without intending to have it.” Your music and merchandise convey an energy and playfulness; do you think it is important for musicians to show their personality through what they create? “Yes, definitely! It’s something I’ve struggled with. There are lots of different sides to me and I think particularly the slower songs on the album are the most representative of me. We are all very different individuals and that can be hard but self expression is really important. Music isn’t always enough to convey creativity.

It’s very difficult to put your whole self in one art; it’s more complex than that.”What do you believe the most important aim of your music to be? “For people to listen to it. We want to make sure it’s never boring and changes all the time, like people’s lives. We sometimes find when listening to other albums that it’s all one genre. We didn’t want this for Boom - we want everyone to be able to connect with a song on the album and that means having a variety of moods and genres present. What’s next on the cards for Hogan? “Well, we are moving to London in midOctober and will be making it our base. Basically, we want to go worldwide, tour everywhere and make another album. We will be gigging less because of the current economic climate so we want to make a really big deal out of every single gig.” Boom can be bought in HMV and make sure to check out for those all important TBA Cork gigs!

Has The Recession Finally Plug’d Off? records which are often less than/ equal to the price of a beer, and hey, it won’t make you sick in the morning!

records, reggae, and revelry - fiona burke celebrates the return of plug’d records The musically promiscuous have seen their hungry libidos starved as of late due to the dreaded R-word: Recession (Dun, Dun, Dun)! It struck Zavvi and Plug’d records alike, leaving less Katy Perry fans and more Chuck Berry fans feeling robbed – fortunately Plug’d has made a comeback!


Plug’d was forced to close last year due to the recession. For students new to Cork, and for those who don’t already know, Plug’d Records provide a service which the larger CD stores don’t – selling a variety of less mainstream music albums and Vinyl. Its atmosphere promotes discussion and recommendation about the wide range of genres, making it about much more than just selling music. It’s due to shops like Plug’d Records that people have access to albums which would otherwise only be available online. Cork may be the home of the Jazz Festival but despite its overwhelming popularity in October, there is no Jazz section in HMV Cork. This is a huge pity considering the obvious amount of interest there is in Jazz music, from listeners and musicians alike. Most of us students save our extra pennies for beer and take-away’s (and who could blame us!). However, Plug’d also sells second hand

The future of Plug’d seems bright with expansion; a move to a permanent base and weekly gigs brings hopeful possibilities. So keep your eyes peeled and your ears open for news!

Now that Plug’d has returned, we need to make sure it does not go under again! The arts are always the first to suffer in times like this (The Kino being another devastating loss to Cork’s culture last year). If we want to assure that Plug’d survives and thrives this time, and hopefully help other businesses to return, we need to make a change. Yes, it’s the word on the lips of every homeless person and Obama advocator and it looks like we may be beginning to see it - so make a change and put your change in the pockets of businesses that need it to survive!


Plug’d records is now located in the ESB substation building on Caroline Street (just off Oliver Plunkett Street). It is a must for music lovers of all genres, even if you’re only browsing, so check it out!


Singing the Mercury blues villagers were edged out of the winning spot at september’s mercury prize awards, but kevin o’neill thinks that may just be for the best

C “

an you hear me now?” asks Conor O’Brien of Villagers in the opening line of “That Day”, the midpoint of their sublime debut “Becoming a Jackal”. Released just last May, the LP has sparked a whirlwind of success for the former frontman of Dublin band The Immediate. It hit number one in the Irish charts in its first week of release, toppling Cathy Davey and being replaced itself by the unstoppable juggernaut that is Glee, while it has led to a stage headlining moment at Oxegen and two spell-binding slots at Electric Picnic.

Among the most impressive achievements notched up by the Dublin act, however, is their inclusion among the final twelve nominees for the coveted Mercury Prize in London’s Covent Garden last week. Sharing the stage with the likes of Paul Weller, Laura Marling, Dizzee Rascal, Biffy Clyro and Mumford & Sons, Conor’s solo performance on the night won over any doubters that remained. An eerie silence descended on the auditorium as this one man worked his magic with a haunting rendition of the album’s title track. The prize went to London’s The xx for their eponymous debut, though the defeat has

not done any harm to the lofty ambitions of Conor and co. They are embarking on a fullband tour of the United States, the UK and Europe before finishing up in Ireland before Christmas. The tour includes a December stop off in the Savoy in Cork – I highly recommend you don’t miss out. Looking at the history of the Mercury Prize, and in particular that of an Irish history in the competition, the failure of Villagers’ blistering debut is no surprise. Nominations are few and far between for Irish musicians: U2 were nominated in 1992 for “Achtung, Baby” at the first ceremony, while only Therapy? (1994), The Thrills (2004), Fionn Regan (2007) and Lisa Hannigan (2009) have been nominated in the subsequent period. There has yet to be an Irish winner. The signs, however, are positive. Three nominations in the last four years suggest that the Mercury judging panel are becoming more open to the idea of green success, while it is evident that the quality of music emerging from this country has improved in recent years. The creation of an Irish equivalent to the Mercury Prize (The Choice Music Prize) has done wonders to raise awareness of the fantastic Irish music being produced at the moment, while the internet has played a part too. Websites and blogs devoted to the promotion of Irish music have allowed

Boogie nights Over on Marlboro street, Tuesday nights in the Liquid Lounge is now home to Perception. Perception has a choice of chart and club music in the main room while it promises that things get a bit off the wall in the Rave room upstairs. The night is run in conjunction with UCC DJ Society so expect to see the likes of DJ Conor “Big Daddy Can” Lyons and DJ Hoggy behind the decks. Visual displays will be provided on the night by the clubs resident visual artist Arturis. Entry is €5 on the door.

©domino records

smaller, independent acts to put their sounds out there too. Artists such as James Vincent McMorrow, The Cast of Cheers and The Riptide Movement have done very well due to online exposure. There’s plenty of encouragement to take from the experience of Conor and co., however. For one, they have managed to plan an entire UK tour on the back of the nomination, while the album re-entered the Irish charts shortly after their recent appearance on BBC. And, while previous winners such as Arctic Monkeys, Elbow and Dizzee Rascal have gone on to bigger and better things, when was the last time you heard Gomez, Talvin Singh, Roni Size/ Reprazent or even 2009 winner Speech Debelle on a radio? It can be a poisoned chalice, Mercury success. Villagers’ next step is going to be an interesting one, though all the pieces are lined up for something big. “Can you hear me now?” Yes, Conor. We can hear you, and we’re listening closely.

Siobhán Meehan gives us the low-down on what’s happening in town

The Pavilion on Carey’s Lane has recently opened up its doors to a new student club night. Nuts on Thursday nights takes place in the fine surroundings of the old Pavilion cinema. A mix of music genres from Jay Z and David Guetta to Florence and the Machine and the Smiths. Themed nights are also in the pipeline such as popcorn parties and, the student favourite, the UV Party. Nuts runs in the Pavilion every Thursday from 11pm until late. Admission € 8/€5 with

The Savoy Theatre on Patrick St. has launched two new club nights of very different styles. Lipstick Jungle on Tuesday nights describes itself as one of the most “chic, coolest and hottest clubs to hit Cork in over a decade”. Along with the main hall the club boasts a luxurious first class lounge area and exclusive VIP rooms and private booths which can be hired out to groups for parties. Expect to hear chart toppers from resident DJ Philip Bourke. Admission €5/€3 with




If Lipstick Jungle doesn’t sound like the club for you then how about the Savoy’s Indie! night. Held on the last Saturday of every month, Indie! is more like a festival club night. With live bands playing in the foyer the festival feeling continues in the main hall with DJ Keith Synnott spinning the tunes from bands such as Vampire Weekend, Blur, Bloc Party and Justice. Admission is €10/€8 for students. This month’s featured live bands are Suede and Setmaker.

o emperor’s new groove

© MH

“Touring with Mumford and Sons was surreal. We didn’t know how big it was going to be until we were actually out on tour with them. Electric Picnic really was a particularly good gig, we knew that people were at the gig to see us – not just to get into the tent out of the rain!”

our local editor siobhan meehan talks to paul savage, lead singer of waterford 5 piece o emperor So where did it all begin for O Emperor? “We started as a group when we were all about 15 back in Waterford. It felt like the natural thing to do at that age, which I suppose was the driving force from the start. We learned from doing covers, you know the usual classic rock songs, and I guess subconsciously we developed our own sound making the transition from covers to original material together.”

Times are tough no matter what trade one finds themselves in so it must be particularly hard for musicians, how have O Emperor coped? “Things have been quite good for us. The number of gigs hasn’t dropped, and we’ve managed to go to the UK and Germany. We are just making enough to continue what we love doing, which is great.”

You all know each other since school, how is that working with friends you’ve known for so long? “So far so good! It’s pretty relaxed really, we’re like a bunch of brothers at this stage.”

A buzz has built up around the band with appearances on The View and the now legendary Other Voices, an RTE production which showcases the best of Irish and international music. “Some great acts have appeared on Other Voices, it was a big turning point for us. It was interesting doing television performances, and since then we have definitely become more noticed.”

This close friendship must come in handy when performing your intricate vocal harmonies akin to bands like Midlake and Fleet Foxes. How do you cope with these comparisons? “The bands we are compared to are the bands we listen to ourselves. Phil (piano, vocals) and Alan (guitarist, backing vocals) are big into stuff like The Band, Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Neil Young. We also heard artists like Wilco, Flaming Lips, and Midlake. It was then that we realised there was this other music that was way more interesting. Hopefully when people listen to the album, they will notice the broader spectrum of our music.”

Hither Thither is the bands debut album, it has been a long time coming as you had initially planned to release it independently. “We realised there was a good chance that it might go unnoticed in the wider world without some outside help. So I got hold of the Hot Press Year Book directory and sent a copy of the album out to every record company listed. After a few months Universal Records responded and said they really liked it. So we went back and rerecorded some new songs and ended up revisiting some of the original album stuff. It has been about 2 to 3 years in the making. It’s been a long wait for us, finally getting the album out, but we‘re positive about our prospects.”

It has been a successful year for O Emperor, touring with Mumford and Sons for their UK and Ireland tour and then playing what has been lauded as one of the highlight gigs of Electric Picnic 2010.

O Emperor’s debut album Hither Thither is out now.

Cork Entertainment for October - Music dates for your diary by fiona burke

Artist: Pendulum (DJ Set) Date: Sat Oct 16th Overview: The energetic band’s set will no doubt make for an epic performance. Expect a seizure-worthy light show and pounding bass.

Artist: The Heathers Date: Wed Oct 20th Overview: Best known for their song Remember When which was used in the Fáilte Ireland television advertisement. Expect a laid back atmosphere and acoustic sound.

Artist: Marina and the Diamonds

Artist: Tom Waits Tribute Date: Mon Oct 25th Overview: Focusing primarily on his early career, particularly his debut studio album Closing Time. If you are a Waits fan it’s a must see!

The Savoy Artist: Cathy Davey Date: Wed Oct 13th Overview: If you listen to Red FM you have definitely heard her song Little Red. Her new album (The Nameless) has gone straight to number one. I’m sure this gig will prove why.


Date: Thurs Oct 28th Overview: Colourful costumes and inventive pop music will feature heavily in what’s guaranteed to be a show stopping performance from the Welsh singer.

Everyman Palace Theatre Cork Jazz Festival Date: 22nd to the 25th of October Overview: The popular festival returns! Highlights include Herbie Hancock, Louis Stewart International Quartet and Bill Carrothers trio. Gigs will be in venues all over Cork including The Everyman theatre, The Savoy, The Bodega, The Crane Lane and The Pavilion.

One big, Godley family… john murphy finds death, humour, life, and a whole lot more in john banville’s the infinities

“This is the mortal world. It is a world where nothing is lost, where all is accounted for while yet the mystery of things is preserved” and this is certainly true of the parallel world set in John Banville’s The Infinities. A quasitragedy laced with meditations, this novel offers a clever creation, bawdy yet erudite humour, and a delightfully unusual read.

human. Even the gods whom Banville artfully revives are jealous of our mortality; they linger for eternity and occasionally watch us, their creations, for entertainment – but they cannot experience nor comprehend love, and are hence fascinated by it. Banville flourishes his skill with narration and language in this novel: every image, every glance, every thought, every feeling is beautifully presented in a world where the human and divine spheres collide from dawn to dusk with unpredictable consequences. As readers of Banville’s previous works will know, he really likes his words. Approach this book with a dictionary for words such as ‘matutinal’!

Old Adam Godley, a renowned mathematical genius, is comatose after a stroke (induced by a difficult bowel movement) and is brought home to die by his wife Ursula and their troubled daughter Petra. While “going about his dying”, old Adam’s son and daughter-inlaw arrive to wait with the rest of the family. But they are not the only ones to attend the cottage. An unconscious father who proved the existence of multiple worlds, an alcoholic mother who hides her empty bottles in a laurel hedge, an eccentric sister who is committed to compiling an almanac of ailments, an illiterate cowman besotted at the old-fashioned housemaid, an aging dog, and two guests who have come to pay homage to the dying man greet young Adam (old Adam’s son, of course) and his wife Helen at the country cottage. While the mourners-in-waiting anticipate the hour of Adam’s death, the mischievous Greek gods come to play.

As always, Zeus – that’s ‘Dad’ to you, Hermes, our dynamic narrator– ‘has his way’ with the beautiful Helen and is pining for her like a lost puppy. That wily god should thank the Fates that his wife didn’t find out...

Despite its verbosity, the impact of Banville’s powerful use of language is neither burdened nor diminished. Prose becomes stunning poetry, and the narrative voices of characters are seamless. Even the names of the characters enhance certain facets of their personalities: “Godley”, pronounced as ‘godly’; “Adam”, the biblical figure of the first man; and “Helen”, an echo of ‘Helen of Troy’, the most beautiful woman in Greece.

The mysteries of being mortal are one of the key focuses of this novel: love and life, grief and regret, death and ageing. Despite the looming presence of death in the cottage, this novel is full of life. In fact, it is a reflection on life: the wonderful and wicked predicament of being

Unless Hera hasn’t read The Infinities and divorced Zeus (at last), I’m sure the craftsman John Banville has a reserved seat at Olympus next to the lightning-bolt hurler and The Infinities has earned a place on the shelves of Olympus’ library.


Caught between two worlds

The one is the harsh, uncompromising glare of surgical lights, while the other is the contrasting, muted warmth of the light from a half-dead fire. It is this contrast, between homeliness and foreignness, nostalgia and shame, which provides the spirit of the tale. As the mysteries of our characters’ lives begin to clear up for them, equally we begin to see the pieces of the jigsaw fall into place. Thus, a sub-text emerges, one of lost innocence, and this subtext makes us view the relationships of the characters as merely a vehicle for this more subversive message.

Cathal Malone reviews Kazuo Ishiguro’s dystopian novel Never Let Me Go in anticipation of its upcoming cinematic translation

It is little wonder that this novel by the Japanese-born, British-raised, Kazuo Ishiguro was shortlisted for the Booker Prize – an award which he had previously won with his 1989 novel, The Remains of the Day. This is a particularly “Bookerish” book: understated, discomforting, occasionally sparse and even downright cold – yet without ever being bleak. To borrow a phrase from Auden, this is a work which “speaks quietly, but does not mumble,” and, in so doing, it is chillingly effective at provoking thought in the reader.

Comparatively speaking, there is an odd resemblance between this work and that of the Irishman John Banville – the author who won the Booker for The Sea in 2005, the second time both authors had a book shortlisted. It is odd because there is no sign in Never Let Me Go of the gleeful (and almost characteristic) use of extended and obscure vocabulary in which Banville so evidently revels. On the contrary, Ishiguro presents us with a vocabulary which is conversational, limited, and almost as damaged as the characters themselves. The comparison, then, is to be seen in the aforementioned admirable crafting of tempo, and, above all, the sense of place.

This book is primarily a study of relationships, and it throws the relationships of the three main characters into sharp relief by its setting. We are told that this is “England, late 1990s,” but it quickly becomes apparent that it is a skewed take on the real thing, where the rules of human existence are not as we know them, and where a key element of our humanity is missing. Written as a reminiscence by our narrator, Kathy (who is now a 31-yearold carer, and trying to put some order on her thoughts as she enters the next phase of her life), we are side-by-side with her as she uncovers the darker realities of life outside of her boarding school, Hailsham. Never Let Me Go is a book which seems to be caught between two worlds, each with their own distinctive light.



It appears that Kazuo Ishiguro has succeeded in doing that which Andrew Motion states is the object of poetry: “I want them to feel they’re in a world they thought they knew, but which turns out to be stranger, more charged, more disturbed than they realised.” It is this which leads this reviewer to conclude that this book has the potential to be a quiet classic.

Books November 9th: Full Dark, No Stars – Stephen King

October 28th: The Confession – John Grisham

Another new collection of four never-beforepublished stories from Stephen King. How many stories can a man have? That may be another story for Mr. King…

An innocent man is about to be executed. Only a guilty man can save him. Sound familiar? ©double day


*Recommended Read* October 28th: A Year With Aslan – C.S. Lewis

©harper one

This daily reader contains 365 selections from The Chronicles of Narnia – providing daily inspiration, solace and guidance. Or so we’re told…


©dc comics

The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout “Save us!”... and I’ll look down and whisper “No.”

To continue the comic book theme which seems so prevalent among our Recommended… sections this week, this month’s Recommended Read is Alan Moore and David Gibbons’ 1986/7 graphic novel Watchmen. You may have seen Zack Snyder’s 2009 adaptation, and a fine attempt it was too - but nothing quite beats the original novel, which follows a group of retired vigilantes-come-superheroes in an alternate historical timeline of post-Vietnam, pre-Cold War. Dark, surprisingly psychological, and a great place to start in the graphic novel genre, Watchmen is available to buy online and from most major book stores.

How to end up on Jeremy Kyle (if that be your life ambition) ciara drummey on the show, ladies and gentlemen! his (Cue “Ooohs” and shouts for “Jerry! Jerry!” from the audience).

It’s the first week of college. Your alarm is buzzing and it’s nine o’ clock. You’re sure you had something important to do this morning but can’t quite remember what it is. You glance around vacantly wondering just what it could be. And then it hits you, like a wet trout in the face – Jeremy Kyle is starting on ITV in ten minutes.

Housemates from Hell You’ve just moved into a new house with complete strangers. Soon after you start to notice a few things missing: your Koka noodles, a sliced pan, few cans of Druids... You also notice that one of your ©itv housemates is ginger. And a crack addict. Logical conclusion? Confront him on Jeremy Kyle! So you make your feelings and suspicions known to Jezza, while he sits patiently on the step in front of you, congratulating you on being very brave for coming forward with your problem. I mean, it’s not easy living with a ginger is it?

Jeremy Kyle has been gracing our screens for the past five years with over a thousand episodes highlighting a career of gambling, secret love affairs and drinking. And that’s just Kyle’s past – I haven’t even started on the show’s guests. A British Judge once stated the shows only purpose was to “titillate bored members of the public with nothing better to do.” Well yeah, obviously, we are in college after all. But there’s one thing that has always bothered me. At what point in your life do things get so bad that you think the only solution is to air your problems on television in front of millions? Here’s a couple of examples of how YOU just might end up on The Jeremy Kyle Show this year. Who’s your daddy?

The ginger walks on stage and is greeted with a stony silence. Ginger tries to explain his side of the story; he’s been addicted to crack cocaine since he was twelve, he had no money to buy food, so he stole it from his new housemate. He is very apologetic and would like help with his addiction. Jeremy lays into him, saying that a crack addiction is no excuse for being ginger. Jeremy enlists the help of Graham, a professional psychotherapist, who feels that the only solution for Ginger’s problem is a bottle of Tesco Value Hair Dye. Ginger is escorted off stage looking highly confused. You and Jeremy however are satisfied with the solution.

So its fresher’s week, you went out, had a few too many Jägers (three for ten euro in Suas!), got a girl, forgot to hit up to the Students’ Union Welfare Office for free condoms, but figured in your drunken state “Ah sure, it’ll be grand.” Well, no, it won’t be “grand”, and nine months later there’s a baby on the scene - just in time for your summer exams. The only problem is, though, that girl also had a few too many jaegers and a few too many guys that night and isn’t quite sure who the father is. Time for a Jeremy Kyle Paternity Test! Prepare to be berated for at least twenty minutes for being a drunken mess and not having the sense to use contraception. We all know how Jeremy feels on this subject “I see it time and time again on my show - children having children. Why is nobody using CONTRACEPTION?!” At this point he will question the state of society itself, shout and scream at you, the girl, and the eight potential fathers positioned on the stage before finally revealing the results. It’s actually

As entertaining as all this sounds, I’m hoping that college really doesn’t turn out like this for you, and instead you can watch Jeremy Kyle from the safety of your own living room, feeling slightly superior about your life. So in the words of Kyle himself, I would like to thank the audience, the guests, and most of all you at home for watching. Er,



Grab a bite at the Quay Co-op

Wholesome Organic Food suck t ' n s e o d t a th

vegetarian restaurant & wholefood shop 24 Sullivans Quay, Cork | 021 4317026 | | also at Main Street, Ballincollig 021 4314171 & Main Street, Carrigaline (opening soon) Restaurant open: 10am to 9pm Monday - Saturday, 12 to 9pm Sunday | Wholefood Shop open: 9am to 8pm Monday - Friday, 9am to 6.3opm Saturday

Features Audrey Dearing

perfect stranger l.a. was developed in 2009 by journalist caitlin foyt to examine the millions of fascinating and diverse residents of l.a. to show what makes the city’s heart beat. perfect stranger cork hopes to continue that aim, only with people who say “like,” and “biy” more.

Name: Joe Garvey Age: 57 Cork Story: Originally from Port Talbot, Wales. Moved to Cork in late 80’s. Found: St. Patrick’s Street

Joe Garvey is not your typical busker, although he is certainly a talented one. A recent Computer Science graduate at UCC, Garvey has only started busking earlier this year as a way to make some money to help pay for his guitar equipment. He picked up his guitar forty years ago and in that time has only had one lesson, but sat in his room practicing scales and piecing chords together until he learned how to put them together as well as he does now. Garvey spent a good deal of his life working as a steel worker and scaffolding manager in East Angelia, when he first started picking up programming. During the 80’s and early 90’s, Garvey worked for a number of companies as a software engineer , and moved to Ireland to become the Irish agent of PHOTRAX UK LTD. Eventually, however, technology changed so rapidly that Garvey was left unemployed, floating between Ireland and the UK taking jobs such as seasonal work on farms cutting rhubarb, cabbages, and sprouts. In 2003, he went back to school and earned several computer qualifications and ultimately receiving his BSc. (hons) in Computer Science at UCC at the age of 56. A pleasant and polite man, Garvey says he enjoys busking as a way to meet people, enjoy his passion for music, and to get an extra forty quid a day. His musical influences include John McLaughlin, Joe Satriani, and Santana, which comes across in his sometimes slow and always groovy music. Garvey has recorded several demos of his music (available at www.joegarvey.

© MH

com/#music), which capture his funky and in deprivation largely unable to express Zappa-esq guitar solos inspired by his family, anything,” Garvey said, “even unaware that his life, and his causes. perhaps a solution may be available to them in the near years or even months ahead.” It is his dedication to causes that make He calls on all who have any resource to Joe Garvey so remarkable, however. At a help him raise awareness and ultimately aid computer science lecture by UCC’s own Dr. in the research for this treatment. Garvey J Herbert, he learned of brain sensors that says that anyone can help raise awareness can detect “yes” and “no” brain signals that or funds, whether a musician, publicist, may be able to be used to help aid patients researcher, or interested party. He hopes to suffering from Locked-In Syndrome—a have a gig on campus during Raise and Give condition usually following paralysis due Week at UCC in 2011 in order to gain funding to stroke or brain damage where the patient and publicity for the research being done is awake but completely unable to move or here at UCC. communicate. “It’s a horrible condition,” Garvey said. “No one deserves to live like Overall, the impression of Joe Garvey that.” is that he’s a genuine man who has a great love and respect for both music and Garvey then spent the next few months helping others. As with both his busking learning all he could about the syndrome, and dedication to aiding research in the and is eager to help aid the research at UCC. treatment for Locked-In Syndrome, he He is in the process of working on a new song doesn’t ask to be thanked or celebrated; he’s entitled “LockedIn” (preview at http://www. just passionate about his causes., which he hopes will raise awareness for this For more information on Locked-In condition. “Thousands wait suffering Syndrome, please visit



“To walk a mile in someone else’s shoes...” aisling twomey finds out some facts about haiti- and talks to some ucc’ers who are going there to build a future from the devastation.


IME magazine recently quoted an incredible statistic. In the aftermath of the earthquake in January of this year, 98% of the rubble has not been cleared from the streets. Thousands of bodies are still in the ruins. 1.6 million people are forced to reside in tent camps and no transitional housing has been built. Struck by statistics like these, Public Health student Eimear Fitzgerald made the decision to travel across the world with Haven, to be part of the ongoing but severely challenged relief effort for Haiti..

“life matters helped me to survive college. i found college hard at first, the stress and the study.” Eimear relayed to Motley that volunteering abroad was something she had always planned to do, but lacked the confidence to. Going across the planet to volunteer in a devastated area is no easy feat, but Eimear expressed her belief that her participation in Life Matters was what gave her the confidence to volunteer. Her interest in public health coupled with her belief that all people have rights to shelter, food, water and sanitation, led her to Haiti. “It’s an opportunity to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” “Life Matters helped me to survive college. I found college hard at first, the stress and the study. But I learned to deal with those, and now I’m always thinking positively. I learned to build on my own strengths and my own potential”, she said, “As a resource, Life Matters is invaluable.” Eimear’s confidence in Life Matters is echoed by soon to be published statistics, which indicate that the program improves emotional intelligence, boosts self confidence and self esteem, improves coping mechanisms and teaches students to cope with academic stress.

Life Matters has been funded by Dr. Tom Cavanagh, a prominent philanthropist and member of UCC’s Governing Body. Dr Cavanagh, Dr Margaret O Rourke, School of Medicine and author of the original book, the Applied Psychology department and the department of Student Counselling & Development are all involved in the formation, research and direction of Life Matters, which is delivered by Helen Prendergast, who told Motley that the three year pilot program is almost at an end, and that because of its success, it would be sad if UCC did not maintain it into the future. “The research on Life Matters has been sent to Governing Body, and the President of UCC (Dr. Michael Murphy) told us he would recommend to the Academic Council that the program goes forward as a University wide elective module.” In the current depressed economy, students need(s) all the help they can get to deal with the troubled working world, and that is exactly what Life Matters can offer. It is Ms. Prendergast’s intentions to bring more people on board, to train new trainers and to bring Life Matters to as many people as possible.

“volunteers are a vital part of the haiti rebuild. over $1.1 billion has been gathered to give aid to haiti; only two percent of this money has been released.” After Life Matters, and convinced that she can take on such a significant challenge, Eimear wasted no time in signing up as a volunteer. She will be accompanied on her trip by 300 other Irish volunteers. Volunteers are a vital part of the Haiti rebuild. Over $1.1 billion has been gathered to give aid to Haiti; only two percent of this money has been released. Volunteers clearly play a more important role in Haiti than


they ever have before. Eimear will also be accompanied by Evan Reid, a third year B Mus student in UCC, and one of this year’s uLink Peer Supporters.

“the students who volunteer do so because they know how tricky the transition to college was for them. this year, peer supporters are working with the student’s union to raise the €9000” uLink is now in its second and final pilot year of operations in UCC, and plays a vital role in introducing first year students to college life, both academically and socially. Peer Supporters volunteer for orientation, and can be contacted throughout the year by students who have questions, queries or concerns. The students who volunteer do so because they know how tricky the transition to college was for them. This year, Peer Supporters are working with the Student’s Union to raise the €9000 required to send Eimear and Evan to Haiti, and they are hopeful that in future years, Peer Support will make a charity relief effort part of the uLink experience. However, uLink’s future is not definite. With the pilot program due to finish, PASS (Peer Assisted Student Support) Coordinator, Claire Dunne relayed to Motley that it has not been confirmed if Peer Support is to be extended into the future. Evan told Motley that uLink has provided him with an opportunity to help his fellow students, which he found very rewarding, as well as a chance to go to Haiti, which he had not expected. He pointed out that to lose uLink would prevent other students from availing of these chances in the future.

>>Continued on page 25

10 Things I Love About... moderately prices soaps are audrey dearing’s calling…. Walking into Lush (located on 96 Oliver Plunket Street or at is an amazing sensory experience. Rows of brightly coloured soaps and lotions give the place a cheery air of a candy shop with the sensuous smell of a bakery. Lush sells handmade cosmetics that use all-natural ingredients, such as fruits, oils, and oats. The staff at the Cork location is absolutely lovely and very knowledgeable, and are always more than willing to show you around the store or let you sample a product. Even after a short visit I fell in love with Lush’s products and atmosphere, and have compiled a list of must-haves for both genders with an eye on back-to-school and (as always) nights out. You won’t regret dropping by Lush even if it’s just for the smells, and when you do, don’t forget to mention this review! 1.




© Michael Holland


9 to 5 Cleansing Lotion—Perfect for on-the-go deep makeup remover. I love this product because you don’t need to use it with water and it leaves skin feeling soft and 6. clean. €5.20/95g Dragon’s Egg Bath Bomb—Easily the most impressive product I got today. It’s a little white-orange ball that 7. you break in half and place in the bath, releasing a fizz of grapefruit, lemon, jasmine, and dragon’s fire. It creates a beautiful glittering swirl in the tub that’s too nice not to share with someone. Bath time can be for two! €3.80/1 use 8. Vanilla Puff Dusting Powder—Not just for hookers anymore! This talc-free powder lightly dusts your body making your skin velvety soft and smelling wonderfully edible. €9.45/many uses


Oatfix Face Mask—I’m actually wearing this now as I write this! The deep and sweet oatmeal and almond smell is putting me in a fantastic mood as it also calms and smoothes the skin. It even tastes pretty daycent, but you’re probably (definitely) not supposed to eat it. €6.95/multiple uses Sweet Lips—Made of exfoliating sugar and oils, scrub onto lips to clear away dead skin and moisturise, then lick off ! Perfect for clearing away stubborn lipstick stains. T for Toes Dusting Powder—Cool scent that deodorizes shoes before a night out to prevent your feet sticking to your heels, or to put in your boots after a match. Cosmetic Lad Moisturiser—A very manly moisturiser designed to treat shaving irritations and reduce redness. Scented like lavender and honey, and not just for lads! Flying Fox Shower Gel—Gorgeous smelling shower gel that focuses on the smell relaxation. I mostly like it because it smells nice.

Too Drunk Emotibomb—Aroma therapy made for hangovers. You place the bar (which looks like a little 10. Charlotte Island Tanning Lotion—With summer drawing drunk voodoo doll head) at the bottom of your shower, and to a close, it’s the healthiest way to keep your bronze on. As the peppermint scent will invigorate the body, like Red Bull well as providing an even tint, it smells like fruit and is filled but without that weird heart-jittery thing. with cocoa butter, leaving your skin feeling soft and smooth. €2.75/multiple uses

Prison Civile in Port-au-Prince was destroyed. The education system has fallen apart and schools have not been replaced. 260,000 people died in the earthquake and the aftermath. Over 300,000 were injured, and over 1,000,000 were displaced. Haiti has a population of 9,000,000; over 20% of the Haitian population has been killed, injured or displaced. The rebuild has not yet begun. In the poorest country in the Americas (Haiti’s GDP per capita is approximately $2 per person per day), half of the people cannot read or write. 80% of those who make it through University emigrate; one of the most severe cases of brain drain imaginable. Foreign aid already makes up roughly 37% of the national budget. Haiti is still very much so in an emergency, even if that emergency has disappeared from our front pages.

>>To walk a mile in someone else’s shoes continued from page 24

Evan and Eimear are set to take part in an intense building session with Haven, which is intended to better conditions for the local people. Haven also provides employment to Haitians. Because he is not a qualified tradesman, Evan expects to spend a lot of his time “bringing water to people in 45(%)? heat and working as a general labourer.” He is more than aware of the devastation in Haiti, which is a high risk zone for malaria infection. “Mental preparation is going to be important for this,” he stated, “I just plan to take each day as it comes.” While the earthquake has passed, Haiti still poses a large challenge to volunteers as well as the local people. Infrastructure lost in the quake has not been replaced; many government buildings were either lost or damaged beyond repair (including the National Assembly and Supreme Court). 4000 inmates escaped when the


To find out more about Haven, see To find out more about Life Matters, visit To learn more about Peer Support and uLink, go to



Pubs Clubs and Caffeine learn some useless – but very fun- about stuff you love with sam marks and his encyclopedia of pointless knowledge! Well, it’s that time of year again. That time when you wake up from last night’s indulgence, only to find it aggravates something that resembles an angry, underfed and relentless cat gnawing at your cranium for sustenance. And to make matters worse, you have a lecture schedule ahead of you that would even make Stephen Hawking cry. Fortunately for Hawking, Newton said that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Unfortunately, there is no quick-fix to a hangover. So before you start regretting your next batch of ethanol ridiculed potations the morning after, here are some fun facts about the three most important beverages that will probably get you through the college year. Enjoy!

Alcohol Alcohol does not kill brain cells! If it did, one drink would probably be enough to kill you, as brain cells don’t actually regenerate like other cells in the body. In fact, it has been found in some studies to be associated with increased mental function. Your body naturally produces alcohol, due to the presence of yeast in our digestive system flora. All you need then is the presence of glucose from your food and, hey presto, you have it in your bloodstream. Not enough to make you tipsy though, as your liver can usually handle it. However, there have been cases of drink driving in Missouri where the limit was so low that a glass of milk was enough to set off the breathalyzer! Champagne glasses were originally designed on Marie Antoinette’s breasts! Also, it is dirt, and not just the carbon dioxide alone, that causes the liquid to bubble. Hangover is a bit of a tricky word when it comes to translations. The French call it “Woodmouth”, the Danish “Timbermouth”, the Dutch “Tomcat” the German “Wailing of the Cat”, Italian “Out of Tune”, Spanish “Backwash”, Swedes “Pain in the Hair Roots”, Turkish “The Ruins” and the Malay “Lo”. And finally a “toast”, dating back to Roman times when they actually put pieces of grilled bread into their wine before drinking them. Another alcohol-related phrase is the “rule of thumb”, in which brewers had to use their own thumbs to gauge a suitable temperature for adding yeast for fermentation, before the invention of thermometers.

Coffee You have goats to thank for regarding the discovery of Coffee. Ethiopian shepherds first noticed the effects of coffee berries after their herds accidentally ate them and became overly frisky. Before then the bright-red berry (which contains the seed or “bean”) was thought to be deadly poisonous! Coffee is an illegal drug. That is, if you are an Olympic athlete or you were living in late 17th century England. Back then King Charles II banned coffee houses believing them to house conspirators plotting against him. What else would a nice chat during coffee be for? This decision was spurred by wine-merchants who feared that the new beverage would threaten their sales and advised the king to ban the product. You can thank the Muslims for the booming popularity of coffee during the 13th-15th century period and its popularity as a whole. It is the world’s second most traded commodity just behind oil. The word “coffee” itself comes from the phrase “The Wine of Islam”, as while the religion forbids alcohol, coffee is deemed to be a perfectly acceptable drink. Turkish bridegrooms in the past had to promise at their wedding to provide their spouses with coffee. If they failed to do so it was literally “grounds for divorce”! [Ed: Geddit?!] Also in Turkey (as well as Greece), it is polite to serve the eldest in the household with coffee first. The Japanese are renowned for taking “coffee baths” with fermented pineapple pulp, which apparently improves skin tone and wrinkles. Meanwhile, the average Swede drinks 14 cups of coffee a day!

Tea Teabags, along with tea itself were both discovered by accident. The former by trader Thomas Sullivan in 16th century when he ran out of crates to store his tea leaves, and so sold them to clients in gauzed paper instead. The latter dates back even further to 4th century BC China, where tea leaves were accidentally blown into the emperor’s hot bathwater. Tea suppresses appetite. Fact! Good news for you dieters out there. Mind the sugar though! The most expensive teabag in the world was made at PG Tips 75th anniversary, costing £7,500 and containing 280 miniature diamonds. Ireland holds the record for the most tea consumed per capita of any nation worldwide. With TV icons like Mrs. Doyle that you’re probably not surprised! If you like your tea rich then go to 19th century Siberia, when it was the countries principle currency!


Smoking, Fucking and Other Things I learned in College join audrey dee as she reminisces about her past loves- and what college taught her about her new ones, erotic or just plain dirty.

© MH

Growing up Catholic, I had real problems with guilt. By my first year in college, my belief in Jesus had faded but my fear of Him had not, and my brain was hardwired to the Seven Deadly Sins. Virginity was a big point of concern for me, and I held onto mine for an unfashionably long amount of time. Sex seemed terrifying and horribly final, and I went steady for years at a time with guys who had previously gotten more ass than a toilet seat without giving it up. Like any good Catholic girl, I spent a lot of time on my knees.

Sex seemed terrifying and horribly final, and I went steady for years at a time with guys who had previously gotten more ass than a toilet seat

I had been in an on again off again relationship with someone who I greatly admired because he was everything I was not: gorgeous, athletic, popular, and didn’t spend all of his time trapped up in his own head. He seemed to care for me too, God knows why. I used to spend my time lying in bed alone with my knees up and my laptop on my chest listening to Joni Mitchell trying to figure out what kept me from just fucking him. What exactly was I afraid of ? Even if it ended horrifically (it did), wouldn’t I always have a perfect memory of being perfectly close with a gorgeous guy with burnt honey curls whom I loved dearly? And isn’t that better than getting too drunk at a house party on College Road and accidentally fucking some guy named Shane or possibly Sean or Simon?

I figured at the time that losing your virginity is like a bomb going off. It’s going to happen someday, and wouldn’t you rather do it in a controlled situation where you have a lovely memory instead of an awkward and unexpected situation? Even after my relationship ended, I can still remember warm nights with someone who I loved dearly, and who loved me. But what now? What has that experience taught me? Just because it turned out okay for me with this one person didn’t mean that I had any guarantee that the next time I thought someone cared for me, they would be as genuine. Could I get hurt? Absolutely. Should I have sex with every person who pretended to care for more than five minutes? Definitely not. Drunken nights with drunk boys who hold you close and tell you that you’re beautiful to get you undressed don’t deserve you, and don’t let them convince you otherwise.

The first time I smoked a fag, I was tasty drunk in Germany

I remember chain smoking in between drinks because I knew that I didn’t want those euphoric dizzies to go away—ever. But with every cigarette, the feeling dimmed until it was finally gone. The next morning it felt like I had six tons sitting on my chest and I couldn’t stop coughing, but I still knew I would go home to Ireland and fill up my lungs like Boy taught me. Now I only smoke, like many college kids do, when I’m drunk and lonely and want to feel that high that only the very sheltered can get from a cigarette.

I remember chain smoking in between drinks because I knew that I didn’t want those euphoric dizzies to go away— ever. But with every cigarette, the feeling dimmed until it was finally gone.

When you get to be our age, we should know better. Toradh caithimh tobac — bás, Smoking was easier to fall into because but we keep chasing that first fag hoping it didn’t have the permanent and inevitable for that virginal high. Sometimes we give implications of hellfire eternal. My first week in and fuck people we don’t want to because at college, I had fallen violently in like with we’re trying to recapture those warm sticky a dirty, twitching Cork Boy who tasted like nights with someone we loved, thinking Smirnoff Ice and cigarettes. The first time I that moments are replicable. Somewhere smoked a fag, I was tasty drunk in Germany inside we know that smoking gives you where I had inexplicably followed Boy after being horrifically dumped. Boy taught me how cancer and fucking people you don’t care to breathe in until the smoke hit the bottom of about makes you jaded, but we college my lungs and burned in that dark way that felt kids with our knowledge and our passions like a mix of heartache and lust until it hit my are too careless and romantic for logic. Eventually our omission will inevitably hurt head and made me dizzy and warm. us, but for now we’re too busy being young.



The Start of Something New and Artsy . . .

strong interest in art would go onto the Crawford or some other art college.”

The new Art Society is a chance for us all to reconnect with our stick-figure drawing childhood. Audrey Dearing meets with the Auditor. Alan Hurley doesn’t look like the typical artist-type. With his height and build, he looks like he’d be far more comfortable on the pitch than behind the easel, but Hurley is the founder of UCC’s first Art Society. An oil on canvas painter of three years, Hurley dropped out of CIT’s Graphic Design Programme because he and his friends had “a bad habit of laughing at the nude models and making everyone uncomfortable,” and spent an unnecessary amount of time in the canteen drinking tea and eating yogurt. After coming to UCC to do BIS, he felt a lack of presence of art in the school. “UCC isn’t really seen as an artsy school,” Hurley said. “...Most people with a

© Alan Hurley

© MH

Hurley doesn’t feel as though he is alone in missing his artistic background when going off to school for unrelated courses. “When you tell people that you] paint or draw, they go, ‘Oh yeah, ya know I used to do that too.’ So why do they stop? I think a part of it is because they’re not encouraged to do it, or they become so busy that they forget about it. If we had a resource in UCC that encouraged it, people mightn’t give it up so fast.” Hurley directly filled that void by establishing the UCC Art Society, which is beginning its first year in 2010. The society plans to hold art sessions every week, which would be open to beginners to advanced artists who wanted to have some company while sketching, painting, or whatever your particular fancy happens to be. They also hope to hold a number of art workshops throughout the year on photography, painting techniques, etc. As far as displaying art, the society has already participated in the Salon Bodega exhibition that took place at the end of September in addition to plans of holding their own galleries throughout the year. The UCC Art Society facebook page (already at an impressive 1,146 friends at the time of writing this article) features albums where members can display their work to fellow students for criticism and praise. You can also directly like Alan Hurley’s art at “Alan Hurley Artist,” or join the group “Alan Hurley Art.”

© Alan Hurley

The Gems of Cork city Resident Travel Guru Peter Neville takes a jaunt through Cork and finds out some interesting stuff about the city you now call home. My quest to find a quirky, almost hidden section of the city began in Grand Parade. I wanted to find some overlooked areas of the city that held gems, aside from parties and pubs. I entered Saint Francis Church on Liberty Street after being fascinated by the unique and attention-grabbing exterior design. Once I stepped inside and looked at the wonder that beheld me, I was awestruck. There is an air of reverence, relaxation and serenity inside the huge building. The interior with its Romanesque arches, domes and stained glass is highly appealing for those interested in the world of art, history, heritage and design. The mosaic located on the ceiling above the altar is the largest in Europe outside of Rome. Even though the church has a capacity of one thousand (and two thousand five hundred when standing), you feel as though you’re in your own private world. You can share a thought, say a prayer, make a wish or have a secluded moment, all in the confines of one

majestic building. Sometimes amidst hectic student life, trying to balance study and socializing, it is easy to get caught up in your own mind. When feeling burdened by stress of assignments and friends, an escape to the St. Francis Church gives a quiet calmness that clears the mind and calms the senses. I suggest you visit the church for a relaxing break from the rush of the city or the sound of your own mind. The second gem I discovered by getting hopelessly lost. In my attempt to steer my personal voyage forward, I walked resulting in a couple of stumbles on the loose pavement stones, some annoyed looks from the locals, and a torn trouser leg. Finally I found my next destination- Cork City Gaol (old prison) in Sunday’s Well. This amazing piece of Irish and local history was voted as one of Top Ten Permanent Attractions in Cork, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. There is a tour available in thirteen languages, and to bring the jail back to life, there are life-size and very lifelike wax figures,


great sound effects, and many dynamic exhibitions. The Cork City Gaol is not only fun and entertaining, but it will also give you an insight into the social history of nineteenth century Cork, as almost a century of Irish history lies within the walls of the Gaol. The building was designed by Sir Thomas Deane, who also partly designed UCC. The price for admission with a student card is €6, and the Gaol is open from 10 am to 4 p.m. There is also a Discover Cork City Pass (available from the Information Centre on Grand Parade), which contains many great savings, including two adult passes to the jail for €10. Cork city is our home for the next number of years, and is important to get to know your surroundings. Explore, and open your eyes-there’s more to Cork than at first glance. In fact, regardless of your interests, there is a gem for everyone. That is the beauty of it all; Cork is the real gem.

Making Cake for Dummies abdullah morshed

delia smith is a rare breed of hag; she has a yen for being condescending, knowing it, and not caring; but she also does have the talent to back it up. after all, the broad bakes one mean chocolate pudding. now i realize i should be presenting my own recipe here, but then i read on delia’s website that she didn’t come up with this recipe herself, so to hell with her. for the sake of appearances, i am going to throw in some extra ingredients to make this my own (yeah... of course).

It’s quite a simple recipe, actually; - 200g Dark Chocolate. - 200g room temp. Butter. - 2 tbsps Brandy (this is optional, but most of you won’t skip adding it)

- 110g Caster Sugar - 4 large Eggs, 4 large Egg yolks - 2 tsp Vanilla Essence (you can be generous here)

- 60g plain Flour - 1 to 2 tsp Coffee, not the instant variety (This is what I added to make this my own. It does have a reason for being here) © MH

Preheat the oven to 200°C. Break the chocolate up and place in a bowl with the butter and coffee. Then place the bowl in a pan of simmering water. When this is all melted take the chocolate from the pan and give it a good stir until the mix is smooth as shimmering silk. What the coffee does is add some bitterness to the mix, which is does wonders as this is one damn rich pudding and you need something to balance that, as it were. Whilst your Chocolate mix is melting bring together your sugar, whole eggs, yolks, and vanilla essence in a bowl. Blend this mix at a high speed for about 8 minutes, at which time you’ll find your mix has become quite mousse-like and doubled in volume. If you’ve gotten this far chaps, and shame on you if you haven’t, what you will be doing is pouring the silky chocolate mix around the edge of the bowl with your egg mix. Delia thinks it’s easier to fold from the edges. She’s probably right, which it pains me to say, as she’s a swill merchant and a witch. Sift your flour in small portions as you fold the mix together, taking care to do the folding slowly as you don’t want to knock any air out of it. That would ruin your pudding, and you don’t want that, do you? By now, your oven will be ready to bake. Pour your mix into eight little pudding basins/ramekins, with the pudding coming to just under the rim of the ramekins and put them into the oven. They’ll take 12 minutes to bake (or longer if you don’t want them to be too melty). You can serve these immediately. I find they go well with fresh cream, bananas, or ice cream, but it’s up to you. And there you have it, melted chocolate puddings. Not my recipe, but not Delia Smith’s either.


Fashion Kathryn O’Regan


ady Gaga, love her or hate her, you cannot deny that the she is everywhere. But, would we be so ga – ga (deliberated over that cheesy line...) about Gaga without her infamous costume get – ups? The veils, the hair pieces, the sunglasses, the insane high heels – for Gaga it’s all part of the performance; it is theatrical, ridiculous and begs for attention. Gaga is no style icon; not only does no one really desire to emulate her style all that much, but more so in the sense that Gaga isn’t all that unique. She’s a mish – mash; a caricature of other avant garde dressers. What Gaga does bring to the table, however, is avant garde fashion to main stream culture – no mean feat in a society so committed to conformity.

To Fashion and Beyond...

Cruella de Vil hair do, diamonds, hand armour, furs and sculpted dresses is an avant gardeist in the most opulent sense. Vogue describes her as the ‘darling of modern couture’ and for Daphne dressing exceptionally is a life’s work. That’s exactly it for these rare fashion creatures; it’s a way of life. As Daphne says: ‘I cannot bear the thought of being the same as everyone else. Uniformity makes me sad’. Daphne’s sentiments are inevitably shared by British fashion’s most famous eccentric, Vivienne Westwood: “Stand out! ..It’s heroic to stand out. My clothes have always been heroic...

“The late Blow fascinated all and sundry with her kooky hats,”

©Greg Kassler

“Gaga isn’t all that unique. She’s a mish – mash”

©Rex Features

It is no coincidence that Gaga wears head – to – toe Alexander McQueen and hats by Philip Tracey. For any fashion enthusiast, McQueen and Tracey instantly call Isabella Blow, the tragic fashion editor and their mutual patron, to mind. The late Blow fascinated all and sundry with her kooky hats, stilettos and lipstick and continues to be an icon for all those discontent to follow the masses in the sartorial department. Likewise, Blow’s close friend, heiress Daphne Guinness, continues to dress in a manner that defies our society’s narrow notion of what is style. Daphne with her vertiginous Westwood heels,

So much of modern fashion is ordinary but I notice young women in the street and I think they look very good - because they know it’s not about fashion, it’s how you put it together...First you have to know who you are - or want to be. Then you have to use your clothes to tell your personal story. And be confident. I’ve never worried about what other people think of me. I’m only interested in how I want to feel and look. You have to cut a figure. Step off the treadmill of fashion.” As the uncontested queen of punk, Westwood was a trailblazer in the 1970s’ rejection of conservative British society. Westwood, a former primary school teacher, opened her shop, ‘Let it Rock’ (later ‘Too Fast to Live, Too Young to Die’ and ‘Sex’) on the King’s Road, London, hung out with the Sex Pistols and made


headlines with her aggressive clothes and even pornographic accessories. Nowadays, however, Westwood is more famed for her exquisite tailoring rather than S&M inspired regalia. Westwood’s fashion remains absurd and frequently volatile and continues to push boundaries of what is considered style. Westwood is fearless in her lifelong dedication to the avant garde. Lady Gaga certainly isn’t the only mainstream devotee of the avant garde. London fashion blogger, Susie Bubble, aka Susana Lau of Style Bubble has earned legions of fans for her unusual mode of dress. Susie comfortably wears transparent trousers, clashes colours, prints and textures, cage skirts and whimsical hair pieces. Susie’s peculiar but fantastic fashion sense is not only awe – inspiring but brave. Susie reminds her readers that the clothes we wear do provide a message and that we should take the time to consider and to think about what we decide to wear. “Guinness, continues to dress in a manner that defies our society’s narrow notion of what is style.”

©Purple Pr and Dafydd Jones

For fashion’s avant garde, clothes are not merely something we throw on in the morning to shield ourselves from the elements but something much more than that; something to utilise, to use to our creative advantage, a method to challenge. Susie, Vivienne, Daphne, Isabella, even Gaga remind us that clothes can be a means to question and provide commentary and a chance in our largely typical everyday lives to contest the norm of world we know. After all, to quote Cecil Beaton: ‘The truly fashionable are beyond fashion’. K...


A Style Icon less ordinary #1...

a regular feature where i celebrate the style icons not usually found in the latest copy of ‘look’ magazine – no kate mosses here!

© ©

Who? When? What? Style? Why?

above: ‘landgirls’ from the 40’s in their “Practical & Tomboyish” style.


Landgirls (or the Women’s Land Army) The war years, 1939 – 45, Britain Whilst men fought battles overseas, women tied a scarf in their hair and mucked in, taking up the roles left vacant as a result of male involvement in the war. Corduroy breeches (turned up trousers), overcoat, utility dungarees, sturdy boots, fawn shirts, knits, thick wool stockings, flat brown lace – up shoes.

© & Matteo Volta

© & Matteo Volta Practical and tomboyish, it’s a refreshing look to channel. Mix rough textures – wools and tweeds – with well fitting shirts, chunky tights, raincoat and boots or brogues. Margaret Howell’s autumn/winter collection provides further inspiration.

Fashion Moment #1

left: Style inspiration from Margaret Howell’s Autumn/Winter collection.

© & Matteo Volta

Who? Alexa Chung When? Elle Style Awards 2008 Why? In 2008 Alexa wasn’t quite as over exposed as she is now nor did she seem quite as

annoying. She wore this Luella pink confection and we all fell in love with her just a little bit. In addition, doesn’t this dress make you pine for the quirky – cool label Luella which ceased trading last winter. For those still distraught, Luella Bartley releases a new book ‘Luella’s guide to English Style’ this month.



Fashion in Film #1

The Royal Tenanbaums

statement coats

Film: When: Who?

The Royal Tenenbaums

2001 Gwyneth Paltrow as troubled genius playwright Margot Tenenbaum.

Style? Like her on screen siblings, the secretive Margot



Film: When? Who?

wears pretty much the same costume throughout. Her attire is a mix between that of a preppy child with striped sports dresses and juvenile hair clips and an uptown, old - moneyed society lady with furs, cigarettes, gloves and Birkin bag. When Margot’s not mulling over life’s complexities in the bathtub, she’s bundled up in her lux toffee fur coat, ignoring her clueless husband and smoking shneaky ciggies.

The Graduate


The Graduate

Anne Bancroft as the icy Mrs. Robinson who seduces the newly graduated Benjamin. (Dustin Hoffman)

Style? The wardrobe of the rich and bored housewife turned


seductress is devastatingly glamorous with slinky, sheer evening dresses, graphic print skirts in monochrome, saucer earrings, bouffant hair, inky eyeliner and of course, lacy underwear.

Here’s to you Mrs. Robinson in your, what can only be described as fabulous leopard print coat. Animal print whilst attending a secret hotel rendezvous can surely only be described as a statement. PS. She’s gotta leopard skin pillbox hat to match too.

Film: When? Who?

Breakfast at Tiffany’sfi


Coat? ©



Breakfast at Tiffany’s

1961 Audrey Hepburn as film’s most famous style icon, Holly Golightly, the bohemian with a penchant for diamonds. As the eccentric Holly, Audrey wears one of cinema’s most iconic wardrobes. Dripping in jewellery, sashaying down Fifth in floor length Givenchy, swards of necklaces, cigarette holder, sunglasses, party dress of bubblegum pink, but is equally dazzling in off duty wears of oversized shirts, pig tails and a trench coat. Holly and Paul go on a day out and Holly cuts a figure in a voluminous burnt orange coat expertly accessorised with shades and a fur bucket hat. The perfect Givenchy tailoring is offset with the humorous addition of a stolen mask.

andrew wears: boots €55 new look, jacket €315, jeans €115, blue knit €95, bag €125 - ted baker,

Back to College On the dawn of a new college year, campus comes alive with a host of characters; the girly – girls and the rebels, the fashion conscious, the studious and the sporty. Boy meets girl and falls head over heels; shearling, satchels, trenches and boots are key pieces this autumn...

models: jennifer arthur, michele martin, sophie o’ regan, sam marks, stephen buckley, andrew mc donnell hair and makeup: laura hastings

Sophie wears: T – Shirt, Penneys’ Menswear, €8, Flannel shirt, Penneys, €11, Aviator jacket, A Wear, €65, Maxi skirt, A Wear, €20, Scarf, Penneys, €3, Bag, Penneys, €9, Boots, Penneys, €17. © MH

sam wears: cricket jumper: €34.99, white shoes: €29, pant: €29 - new look, bag €75 - ted baker

jennifer wears: sweater-a wear. €35, tutu skirt-new look, €25, brogues-new look €35, bag-new look , €35, corsage-a wear €5, knee high socks-model’s own. © MH

stephen wears: Shoes: €60, Pant: €48, Knit cardi: €60, Shirt: €40, Glasses: €18, bag €50 - TOPMAN

Michele wears: Blouse, €61, Tweed skirt, €53, Blazer. €84, Loafers, €76, Satchel, €55, Fedora, €38, All Topshop. © MH


Student Budget Tips

Andrew McDonnell

so as we are all aware being a student and staying fashionable may sound and seem challenging, in reality it is not as difficult as you may think. here are a few tips to help keep the budget that bit lower;

Listed are a number of Cork city shops who will give discounts to anyone wielding their trusty student card!

© Andrew Thomas

© Andrew Thomas

Topman, New Look, GAP, French Connection & Heatons all offer 10% off for students all year round. Schuh offer 15% off for students Recently launched Ted Baker in Brown Thomas is surprisingly affordable & always fashionable. Unknown to many they offer 10% off for students all year round.


bottega veneta autumn/winter 2010 collection


Can make an outfit more edgy or fashion forward by wearing statement pieces such as a classic watch. Although generally make sure your accessories go with everything. Light-wear scarves work very well as they can be worn in all seasons. A good quality wallet purchased in black will last years longer than the luminous orange wallet which might be ‘in’ at the time but most definitely out the following year.

Don’t be afraid to spend Just because you’re a student and money is low it doesn’t mean that you can’t ‘splurge’ on an item that you love. Jackets, shoes, jeans are essential items for any man & spending more for a good quality item will prove to be an investment in the long run.

The 12 Month Item


There are certain items of clothing which can be worn 12 months of the year and thus reduce your need for specific items which you need to buy seasonally. Light-wear jackets are great as they are perfect as outerwear with plenty of layering underneath during autumn/winter to add warmth and keep the rain out. While during the summer months this jacket can be worn with just a t-shirt underneath and is perfect for night time when out pubbing/ clubbing and don’t want to carry a big jacket everywhere. Cardigans are another must as these can double as jackets during the summer and keep you warm in the winter under your jacket.

Obviously if you wait until the sales are on your clothes will be that much cheaper, just make sure you make it in during the first few days as the good stuff is usually snatched up quite quickly! Especially important for the sale season is to buy items ‘off-season’. Recently I bought a pair of flip-flops & shorts for 14 euro instead of 53 euro it would have cost if purchased mid-summer so this is solid advice!

To sew or not to sew?

Is it reversible?? A reversible item is more or less, two pieces of clothing in one. Jackets & knitwear fit this category perfectly. Even better if you want to change things up midday, just turn your jacket inside out and voila, a new jacket. If you do find a reversible item you like remember to divide the price by 2 and there you go, cheap as chips.

This tip is directed at the more ‘hands on’ man and although it may seem odd if you can sew you can really spruce up your wardrobe on the cheap. First of all you can mend any wear and tear inflicted on that tee or pant during one of your many drunken nights and thus the tee lives to be worn another day. Even simply adding a few new buttons to an old cardi/jumper or jacket can change the look enough to make it feel fresh.

Charity Shops!

Shoes If on a budget make sure at the very least your wearing nice shoes. Shoes are often an indicator of your style. Purchasing a great pair of shoes is relatively easy if you shop around. Darker coloured shoes are more durable as dirt won’t show up as easily rather than on light coloured shoes.


Charity & vintage shops in Cork, specifically around North Main Street are the perfect areas a real bargain is to be had. Vintage & retro looks are all in nowadays & wearing your ‘dads’ knitted jumper is now seen as edgy. With this in mind have an old poke about and see if you find anything that suits your tastes, at very low prices.


Put’m up sucker...

© MH

© MH

© MH

andy burns takes on the world - and gets beaten by a brave kid!

Calling all newbees...

© MH

like lambs to the slaughter, the first years come to eat jellies and get freebies on societies day. this guy loves socs day. too much.

© MH


Fresher’s Week...

© MH © MH

© MH

clockwise from top: The winning move in Giant Connect 4!, Live Music Soc turn out some choons outside the Boole, Extreme Hot Bevs- hoola hooping with a coffee pot!, Free tea and coffee from Hot Beverages!

© MH

© MH

© MH

© MH


clockwise from left: she so hopes hers won’t be the brick that makes the rest come crashing down. does anyone else find it ironic that bank of ireland’s name is all over that giant jenga?!, the societies guild lads take a break to pose in their jackets.... on a hot day, Dramat getting ready for another year of winning every award possibly known to man.

motley october 2010 - issue no. 1