November by Aisling Twomey

motley november 2010 - issue no. 2

CENSORED! Censored! The film industry in Ireland

Mr Nice Talking with

Howard Marks

Lights, Camera, Action! Dress like a Superstar ÂŠ mh

Editor Aisling Twomey I do love a good movie. This would adequately explain the fact that you hold in your hands The Film Edition of Motley, which is full of film trivia, film genres, film interviews, film pictures and, yup, a film fashion shoot. There’s likely nobody in existence who can claim to hate films. No matter what genre, everyone can see a picture from a film and remember a scene about it, or recall the actors in it, or remember how good (or woeful) it was. In this issue we’ve compiled a list of Great Movie Moments. I disclaim this by saying that they may not be the Greatest, but they’re damn good and worthy of attention. If you feel seriously hard done by, send us an email and tell us why our choices were terrible, and why yours are better! You might notice some changes about this month’s edition. For a start, the paper is slightly better and is less reminiscent of toilet roll. Second, we’ve added eight more pages to Motley, purely for your reading pleasure. In the past, the magazine has run to 64 pages, but, well... I didn’t want to make you read a novel, when you could go watch a film instead! Let us know what you thought of the issue!

The Team aisling twomey adam dinan audrey dearing kellie morrissey john murphy siobhán meehan kathryn o regan andrew mcdonnell michael holland muire o hara

daithi Linnane

Editor In Chief - editor@motley.ie Current Affairs Editor Deputy Editor In Chief - currentaffairs@motley.ie Features Editor - features@motley.ie Entertainment Editor entertainments@motley.ie Deputy Entertainment Editor - entertainments@motley.ie Interviews and Local Editor local@motley.ie Fashion Editor - fashion@motley.ie Men’s Fashion Editor fashion@motley.ie Photographic Editor - photo@motley.ie Design/ Layout - layout@motley.ie Advertising Editor - advertising@uccsu.ie

Contents On the cover... 4.

Reel Power- Adam Dinan talks up a storm about Film Censorship in Ireland.

19.

Howard Marks- Siobhรกn Meehan talks to the former drug smuggler, teacher and author.

40.

Lights, Camera, Action!- Fashion goes Hollywood in our themed photo shoot for November.

Current Affairs 7.

Genevieve Shanahan and Tom Smith debate Gender Quotas in Politics.

10.

Laura Harmon considers the shutdown of countmeout.ie.

Entertainments 14.

James Hooper channels Movember and talks Moustaches in the Movies.

Chris Redmond examines that old classic, Back to the Future.

Features 33.

Look-a-likes...Meet lady GA GA

33.

Important Life Lessons Learned- Cathal Brennan learns to clear his internet history.

Fashion

Mr. Nice

Siobhan Mehan meets Howard Marks p.19

37.

Kathryn O Regan leads us through skirt lengths- from ultra short to ultra long.

45.

Andrew McDonnell shows us the Best Dressed Men of Autumn 2010.

Current Affairs

Adam Dinan

currentaffairs@motley.ie

Reel Power

latest film ban shows up the flaws in irish censorship policies adam dinan, current affairs editor

ast month, the Irish Film Classification Office (IFCO) took the decision to ban the re-release of the controversial 1978 horror film I Spit on Your Grave. The decision represents the first prohibition order made for a nonpornographic movie in almost a decade, and was taken on the grounds that it depicts “gross violence and cruelty towards humans”, in accordance with Section 7 of The Video Recordings Act, 1989. The news comes less than a year after the retirement of outgoing censor John Kelleher, seen by many as a liberalising force in the IFCO.

various right-wing pressure groups. Other titles that fell victim to the era include Dead & Buried, a sci-fi thriller by the producers of Alien, and Spiderman-director Sam Raimi’s debut feature, The Evil Dead.

The film itself has remained highly controversial since its first release. Renowned critic Roger Ebert once referred to it is a “vile piece of garbage”, yet lead actress Camille Keaton won awards at several international film festivals for her performance as abuse victim Jennifer Hills. It was one of the movies at the centre of the UK ‘Video Nasties’ saga of the early 1980s, during which distributors and retailers of ‘obscene’ material were prosecuted with gleeful abandon, cheered on by a highly vocal group of moralisers, most of them members of the Conservative Party and

Most of these films have now been approved for general release by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC), and perhaps largely because of the early notoriety, have gone on to develop cult fanbases in the intervening decades. Many now regard I Spit on Your Grave as seminal in the progression of low-budget, independent horror, and it has been cited by film-makers as having influenced the likes of The Blair Witch Project and Friday the 13th. The cast and crew regularly appear at conventions attended by loyal devotees, and a multimillion dollar remake is slated for release here next February, sure to achieve higher sales on the back of this latest controversy. The fallout debate has made its way onto Irish airwaves and into the media, but it has not centered on the artistic integrity of the film. Instead, more fundamental worries about the nature of such decisions and inconsistencies in the IFCO’s methods have

been raised which stretch beyond any singular dispute, and cut right to the core of the film ratings system in this country. Put bluntly, the question being asked is whether, in this day and age, an individual’s subjective view of what constitutes “gross violence” should really decide what may be distributed—to fellow adults—in an entire country. How many films currently permitted for sale in Ireland depict similar or greater levels of brutality than this one? As Donald Clarke asks in the Irish Times, “while the IFCO is at it, why not ban Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist or Gaspar Noé’s Irréversible?” Presumably it boils down to personal taste on the part of the reviewing censor. Meir Zarchi, the director of I Spit on Your Grave, agrees: “with the level of graphic violence and horror available these days, it’s surprising that IFCO sees this 1978 film as more offensive than some of the most daring and empty-of-content torture pornography available today.” An independent review of classification in 2000 recommended a shift away from banning films outright, advice heeded by

Kelleher during his tenure at the IFCO. His replacement, UCD graduate Ger Connolly, is a former accountant based in Dublin. It is not clear what qualifies him to arbitrate over suitable content for the people of this country, any moreso than you or I. He has no specialist knowledge of human psychology, no qualifications in sociology or criminology, and above all, no training in cinema or film-making itself. But then again, neither had any of his predecessors (Kelleher being the notable exception, with a background in production).

Of course the IFCO, like many other Irish institutions, has undergone a general liberalising with time. Gone are the days when the Archbishop of Dublin could demand action from the government over the release of adult material (the response to which from Christopher Macken, head of the IFCO at the time, seems for all the world like a line from Father Ted, but was intended with absolute sincerity: ‘Irish people don’t want to watch pornography’). But this is in no way an argument for retaining its core © ifco

The chequered history of the IFCO’s attitude towards censorship reflects its hierarchical structure, in which one person—the Director of Film Classification

above: ger connolly director of the ifco

—is considered to have an almost divine omniscience. The rest of us are subject to their whims. If they dislike a film (or video game, for that matter), it may be granted a higher certificate, or in the extreme cases, banned outright. Take, from the preponderance of examples that could be chosen, the films ‘Election’ and ‘Brokeback Mountain’. Neither contain violence or sexually-explicit content (and were granted 15 certificates by the BBFC), yet both were rated 18 here. Many believe this to have been due solely to of the theme of homosexuality which they explore.

structure. After all, we still find ourselves in a position where an autonomous body—regulated only by a handful of civil servants claiming exorbitant expenses—has the power to make decisions which may be repugnant to the public good, or to freedom of expression. The organisation is established on a statutory basis, meaning that its appeals process is final, and there is a sevenyear waiting period before a film may be re-submitted for classification. Modern technology means that those who really wish to see ‘banned’ material can bypass

censorship laws, as Zarchi notes: “anyone, anywhere in the world, can simply push a button on a video website store and order a DVD import.” However, such material is effectively hidden from the public at large, as it cannot be advertised and won’t appear on shop shelves, and those who decide to order online are technically liable to prosecution if caught. This latest decisions provides us with an apt time to pause for thought as a society. We should look to other models and strive to modernise our own. Take the US, for example, where film classification is entirely voluntary. No producer or distributor is obliged to apply for a certificate. The MPAA, which determines film ratings, does not have the power to prohibit releases, and any decision to ban a film must be taken by the courts, if and when a case is brought. Here is a system that employs the best of both worlds: films can be classified where parents and cinema-owners wish to obtain guidance on their suitability for children, but a very clear framework exists to settle disputes over the legality of content for adults. Here at home, the Censorship of Films Act, amended to the Video Recordings Act in 1989, is the effective bedrock of the IFCO. It is the only continuity between successive censors, yet contains highly vague guidelines and criteria on what may be considered ‘indecent’, ‘obscene’ or ‘blasphemous’. Consider that it was used to justify the banning of Monty Python’s Life of Brian in 1979, and you get a feel for its content. The time has long come for change, and it must start from the bottom up. The reality is that the roots of the IFCO are outdated and inadequate. At this stage, we don’t need an amendment – we need an overhaul.

below: a list of landmark censorship decisions by the ifco. previous censor john kelleher was reluctant to ban films outright, meaning that I Spit on Your Grave is the first non-pornographic movie to be outlawed since harvey keitel’s Bad Lieutenant in 2003. title

type

year banned

i spit on your grave

film

2010

porky’s

film

1982

manhunt 2

video game

2007

the evil dead

film

1981

film

1979

bad lieutenant

film

2003

monty python’s life of brian

baise-moi

film

2002

debbie does dallas

film

1978

dark garden

film

2002

emmanuelle

film

1974

film

1972

natural born killers

film

1994

deep throat

man bites dog

film

1992

a clockwork orange

film

1971

meet the feebles

film

1989

get carter

film

1971

monty python’s the meaning of life

film

1983

brief encounter

film

1945

the great dictator

film

1940

Current Affairs

Facing Financial Woe - Together. the time has come to stop squabbling about past mistakes and focus on repairing the irish economy, argues sarah slevin.

mprobable as it may sound, there has been much discussion of cross-party agreement on economic matters over the past few weeks. This would help recovery, because attempts to reach a consensus on budgetary savings show that the national interest takes precedence over capitalising on short-term popularity growth. This presents us in a positive, united manner to the international markets.

The difficulty for the government is combining maximum revenue with minimum pain. Unfortunately though, keeping everybody happy is just not possible with a €4 billion hole in the country’s pocket. Already announced by Brian Lenihan is a €1 billion reduction in capital spending. However, this is coming from a capital budget of €5.5 billion, so a further dip into this particular pot could be necessary.

This view was also expressed by former Swedish finance minister Bo Lundgren on ‘Morning Ireland’ recently. He believes that broad agreement on fiscal measures was key to Sweden’s success. As we know, the Scandinavians had a banking crisis not dissimilar to ours in the early 90s. Another measure that was key to their recovery? Rectification of public finances.

Another widely discussed option is the introduction of a property tax on residential dwellings. According to the Commission on Taxation, this could prove lucrative, with an estimated income of over €1 billion. A property tax such as this would be quite substantial, but would hopefully cover a large portion of the deficit.

Sweden managed to reduce their unemployment rate from 13% at the height of their crisis to 4% in 2003. This was quite an achievement for a country that experienced a loss in GDP of 5% over 3 years. It’s also interesting to note the Swedish response to their banking crisis. After a blanket guarantee, the two main institutions were nationalised, with a ‘good’ and ‘bad’ bank created out of each. While Ireland’s solution differs in some minor areas, this congruity in action gives strength to the pro-bailout faction. “The difficulty for the government is combining maximum revenue with minimum pain.” However, I believe the time has passed for conducting post-mortems on our handling of the banking turmoil. Further analysis serves no purpose, except as an attempt to gain cheap political points. Our focus should now turn to saving roughly €4 billion in the upcoming budget. As proven by the Swedes, rescuing public finances is imperative to keeping the International Monetary Fund at bay. Failure to make the savings is not an option, as it would indicate a loss of control, and result in a loss of sovereignty.

Nonetheless, it would provide a less reliable income than a fixed tax alternative. It would also involve installing water meters in every house in the country, costing both time and money. Other options as regards taxation include increases in both standard and higher income tax rates, and in the rate of VAT. None of these seem particularly palatable, and none will stimulate the economy as required. In many ways, spending cuts are preferable to increases in taxation. It goes without saying that all government departments are going to see a further drop in their spending power. While this may have trade unions frothing at the mouth, maybe it’s about time they started accepting the unsavoury scenario we find ourselves in.

above: bo lundgren, the swedish finance minister; believes that presenting a unified front is key to economic recovery. The issue of water charges appeared many years prior to the recession. This has the added advantage of reducing water consumption, and could hardly be deemed unreasonable by opposition parties. Nonetheless, it would provide a less reliable income than a fixed tax alternative. It would also involve installing water meters in every house in the country, costing both time and money. The issue of water charges appeared many years prior to the recession. This has the added advantage of reducing water consumption, and could hardly be deemed unreasonable by opposition parties.

In a recession such as this, debate often centres on how best to implement recovery. Should we focus on creating jobs, or is it necessary to revive the economy as a whole? This question is one of economic philosophy. My personal belief is that jobs cannot be created from a stagnated economy. Pouring funds into unsustainable jobs will actually prevent growth, and not allow any long-term revival. Brian Lenihan said recently that “anger and abuse cannot function as policies for running the country any longer.” Whatever your political persuasion, it is hard to disagree with him. The time for recrimination has passed, and becoming proactive is the only way forward. Let’s hope that our political leaders see it as such. With the right budgetary framework, we may just become a Sweden rather than an Iceland.

Moving in from the Margins

mandatory gender quotas are a controversial proposal for increasing women’s participation in politics. but are they a true solution, or just papering over the cracks?

Give Quotas a Chance: we must take action genevieve shanahan

Let’s tackle the real roots of discrimination

Women make up only 14% of Irish TDs. We have gone from being ranked 37th worldwide for women’s representation in 1990 to 84th - 23rd out of the 27 EU member states, so it is not surprising that gender quotas have featured high on the political agenda here. An Oireachtas report by the sub-committee on Women in Politics, led by Ivana Bacik, last year recommended their introduction on a strictly temporary basis, with a ‘sunset clause’ for when adequate representation is achieved.

tom smith

Ireland’s lowly position for female participation in parliament is shameful, there is no doubt. But let’s examine the facts: where quotas have been introduced, they have generally done little to tackle gender inequality. This has been because female politicians were seen to have illegitimately-gained their positions, as in Belgium, or because quotas prevented women from participating in truly competitive politics, as in Tanzania, or indeed because the husbands of these women have used their wives as proxies to establish their own views, as in India.

The report proposed that each party put forward a certain minimum number of female candidates for election. Yet in August, The Irish Times reported that 14 of the 23 female TDs were opposed to this idea. It’s not difficult to see why people might be reluctant to lend their support. Politicians such as Mary O’Rourke suggest that “such quotas are discriminatory” because they judge candidates’ eligibility based on a supposedly irrelevant attribute rather than purely on merit. But this misses the point.

Real debate on the qualitative aspects of female participation is what has been lacking in these discussions. For instance, if more women were to get into the Dáil, would their ability to set the agenda and contest inequalities be increased, or would men simply hold onto the true positions of power? A superficial change is effectively no change at all.

In an ideal world, gender would be an irrelevant factor in one’s candidacy, and it’s often tempting to try to affect change by treating the world as if it were already ideal – raising standards by raising expectations. However, I think we’re discovering that this sort of approach does not work in the case of institutional discrimination, which is really what we’re dealing with. In reality, male politicians do not adequately represent women in government, and there are various factors that disadvantage women’s opportunity to participate in politics.

Essentially, depending on how quotas are implemented, the outcomes will be very different. If our political parties are going to be the gatekeepers in terms of which women get to participate, then quotas would privilege women who, most likely due to what party their parents belonged to, are members of anachronistic arbitrary groupings based largely on something which happened towards the start of the last century (civil war), who for the most part certainly don’t represent my interests.

Fiona Buckley, a lecturer in UCC’s Government department, stresses that “quotas should be viewed only as a compensatory measure for the structural barriers that prevent fair electoral competition in the first place.” Enforcing a minimum number of candidates would be an ideal solution, because if these women are not seen to merit election, then voters are still free to choose male contenders. This should make it difficult to suggest female representatives are in any way less deserving of their position than males.

Instead of the male heirs of political dynasties, might we simply get the female heirs? By all means, increase the amount of women who are in the Dáil, but the types of women who are likely to get through our parochial system to stand for election are likely to be about as sympathetic to the cause of women generally as Maggie Thatcher. We must be wary of allowing quotas to become so central that if or when they are introduced, there might exist an excuse for complacency and inaction from our elected officials. If you want women to feel welcome in positions of power, let’s start at the bottom rather than the top, and build true equality. Starting from the bottom, let’s tell the Catholic Church, which runs our primary schools and still holds much societal sway, that it’s an inherently discriminatory institution.

Women’s involvement in politics, the political system and attitudes towards women in society at large are interdependent. Change in one inevitably effects the others. Waiting for a natural evaporation of institutional prejudice against women has not borne fruit, so it’s time to kick-start the process ourselves, if only as a temporary effort to change what will not change itself. If women do not want to be represented or are unfit to lead there will be no change to our political landscape. What have we got to lose?

Let’s look at the disempowering way the rest of our education system works. Let’s hold our media to account for subtle and not-so-subtle discrimination against women. Let’s enact a constitution which sees men and women as equal, while simultaneously removing its endorsement of the aforementioned discriminatory church. This and so much more could be done. In short, let’s question the whole system, not just the most visible part of it.

Current Affairs

Pulp Fiction sensationalist reporting in the media does little to inform voters or stimulate real debate, argues eoghan mcmahon.

olitics has never been particularly sexy. There, I’ve said it. It doesn’t often entertain, except to the infatuated few, and 99% of the time it’s about as exciting as watching paint dry. The actual functioning of the political process only becomes interesting when something goes wrong, when there’s a crisis or an incident relating to something negative. These instances aside, politics can be mind-numbingly boring and excessively time consuming. Politics shouldn’t make for good TV, or good newspaper copy. Entertainment should stay within the entertainment sections.

Unfortunately, a narrative of fear and crisis in the Irish media has turned politics into an activity which seems less like the process of governance and more like a horse race. Take the biggest story of the past month, which was the idea, mooted by Green Party Big Cheese John Gormley, of National or ‘Consensual’ Government. National Government would involve the uprooting of the democratic process. Our rights as citizens to know how policy is being formulated, for example, could be stripped, as politics would be negotiated behind closed doors like the social partnership model rather than in the Dáil.

ideas boxed into one. That’s unless the government maintain their power to throw out ideas they don’t like, in which case the process would simply have muted any form of opposition. (We already have ample evidence of what such unequal power relations in consensus-building negotiations inevitably lead to: just look at the Community and Voluntary pillar of Social Partners, established to tackle poverty and inequality). However, the bulk of media coverage has surrounded whether or not Gormley did the dirty on Cowen, publicly railing against what the Taoiseach had previously declared on this issue. Attention centred on whether or not there had been any consultation between the two. For weeks, speculation was rife about whether or not the pair were getting on as well as they’d like to suggest, rather than about whether the idea itself was a good one. So, the talking point was not the fundamental principle of Ireland’s democracy, but whether or not Brian Cowen had done a u-turn on the matter.

This insatiable media hunger for dramatisation fuels a news cycle in which the feeling of total crisis doesn’t drop, and the crescendo of a fear-driven narrative doesn’t level off. Analysis is marginalised by it. That’s not to say that hype is always a bad thing, or that individuals shouldn’t be held to public account. The negotiations of the Bank Guarantee Scheme in September 2008 provide a neat example of how this form of reporting can be legitimately employed to focus attention and pressurise incumbents. In general, however, it does precious few favours for our society as we attempt to get out of our current mess – or any mess – intact. © irish independent

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this insatiable media hunger for dramatisation fuels a news cycle in which the feeling of total crisis doesn’t drop, and the crescendo of a fear-driven narrative doesn’t level off.

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“Ha! Caught out, his reputation in tatters!” Mildly entertaining stuff in a schadenfreude-esque, Perez Hilton sort of way. But almost nowhere to be seen was an analysis of the actual effects these changes could have on the democratic process. Sarah Carey’s opinion piece in the Irish Times (2210-10) was an impressive departure, but even still came nearly three weeks after the event. That was three full weeks before the truly Forcing consensus would cause comprise substantive issue raised by this whole saga got any analysis in mainstream media. on policies, leading to incoherence and a collage-like mish-mash of everyone’s

john gormley (above) has proposed the controversial idea of national or ‘consensual’ government When it comes to matters political, the role of the media in any healthy society should be to report to the electorate information they need to fulfil their rights, and to stay informed about the actions of their leaders. In this way, the public can understand who and what they are voting for, and what exactly is being done in their name. The whole thing certainly should not be a zero-sum horse race between politicians, and the media doesn’t need to get caught up in this facade. We as citizens of a democracy should not let it.

Taking up Thatcher’s Reigns the new british government is implementing spending cuts that will set the country back decades, argues seán ó sé

he Tories, when elected to government in Britain last May, ran on the policy that they would cut the huge public deficit. George Osborne, then Conservative Shadow-Chancellor and now Chancellor of the Exchequer, promised to bring the country back from what he believed to be the brink of bankruptcy. Instead, he is unravelling the work of over a decade of Labour government. The presence of the Liberal Democrats in the coalition offered hope to many in the most sociallydeprived areas of Britain that Osborne would not be allowed to proceed with a slash and burn policy.

They should not have dared to dream, as the reality is that the Lib Dems in government have been totally muted. The cuts in public spending have been the deepest since those in the 1920s which prompted ‘hunger marches’ throughout the UK. Osborne and his Bullingdon club boys have used the current recession in the British economy as a smokescreen to bring the nation back to the 1980s. To quote Tory MP and British Foreign Secretary William Hague, it is clear that the policy of this current government is: “we make cuts not because we have to, but because we want to.”

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The North East of the country, the area worst hit by Thatcher’s venomous economic dictat, face another round of body blows from the Conservatives.

”

So what areas of public spending have been hit by Osborne’s plan? It is estimated that up to 250,000 council employees will lose their jobs. That is a startling figure for any country, and the fact that it is to be implemented as a government policy is frightening. Those 250,000 will have a

ripple effect on the rest of the economy, as many in the private sector who depend on business from the public sector may well be forced to close up shop. The North East of the country, the area worst hit by Thatcher’s venomous economic dictat, face another round of body blows from the Conservatives. One of Labour’s leading policies when in government was not only tackling crime, but also tackling the sources of crime.

they are asking the poorest in society to pay through the nose for a public good. Britain has a proud history of providing decent public housing under the welfare state. This current government is attempting to take it apart brick by brick.

Local government funding will be another victim of the spending plan. Many services provided by local government such as community centers, active retirement groups, child care schemes and youth and recreational facilities will likely be forced to shut as money will not be available to keep them open. Only the bare essential services will survive. The third level education sector is also to face a massive overhaul, with the cap on university fees set to be lifted. This will mean that third level institutions will above: be free to charge whatever they think is british prime minister, david cameron with george osborne, appropriate for a degree, in turn causing a chancellor of the exchequer further rift in the British university system The policing and justice departments have as those from less privileged backgrounds been big losers in the Tories’ new plan, as will be forced into lower quality education. the policing budget will be slashed by 20%. For a party that claims to be tough on crime, the third level education they do not seem to be interested much in sector is also to face a protecting working class communities with massive overhaul, with the such a huge cut in spending. Along with cap on university fees set to this, the prison and court services funding be lifted. will also be chopped by 20%. But this does not mean that prisons or the space for Overall, Osborne and David Cameron are prisoners will be reduced. Instead, probation taking up where Thatcher left off. Their aim and rehabilitation services will take a hit, is not one of reform or of ‘saving Britain’. meaning that the task of reforming criminals Rather, their plan is to dismantle what has will become a lot harder. This will impact on been left of the welfare state that Thatcher the poorest sections of society the most. did not get round to during her reign. This Public housing is also to take a massive hit spending plan has stepped way beyond the in these planned public spending cuts, with policy of reform and into a dogma of greed. a savage 60% cut. To plug the gap, Osborne is As the Tory backers in the City of London asking those already living in public housing feel their grimy pockets fill with funds from to pay radically increased rents. If ever there the British public, it is the mothers and was a sign that the Tories are not living in the fathers, the elderly, the youth of Sheffield real world then this is it. Wearing the mask of and Leeds and every other ordinary member a recession for cover, of the British public who will be forced to wear the heavy chains of this recession.

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Current Affairs

Pope defection u-turn ‘violates religious freedom’ moves by pope benedict aimed at stemming the tide of defections from the church have caused unease, and may be challenged. laura harmon investigates.

ew measures brought in by the Pope have deleted references to the process of defection from the Catholic Church, resulting in accusations that the move was a response to increasing numbers abandoning the Church. The changes—included in the Omnium In Mentem issued recently, which modified documents concerning the sacrament of marriage and of the holy orders—have caused uncertainty among those who wish to leave the organization.

position. She fears that the official act itself has now been removed. “I would find such a development quite worrying, as it would seem to violate a person’s right to religious freedom,” she said.

at a religious service, and I don’t want to baptise my children or to send them to a denominational school.”

She acknowledges that it might not be as simple for many people: “I imagine it could be harder for those who may not “On a personal level, . . . it be comfortable letting their parents or was very easy for me as I community know about their decision to have been an atheist for leave.” When questioned as to what people such a long time” can do now in order to ensure their defections are processed, Mr. Dunbar and Ms. Shanahan She explains that she left the Church admit that there is uncertainty. “Some people primarily “so that I wouldn’t be counted Paul Dunbar, a founder of the website have suggested excommunication,” Ms among their statistics regarding how many CountMeOut.ie, which has had over Shanahan explains, “but even then, you are Catholics there are in Ireland; statistics 12,000 people complete a ‘Declaration of which they use to justify their domination of still technically a member of the Church, as Defection’, insists that the situation must be the education system and continued special Baptism is thought to leave an ‘indelible mark’ clarified. If it is found that defections will place in the Constitution.” She is concerned on the soul.” no longer be possible, he says that they will at the fact that Baptism occurs at an age at The UCC Atheists Society, of which Ms. attempt to challenge it in some capacity. which an individual is incapable of giving Shanahan is a member, is focusing efforts on consent. “Even more worryingly,” she notes, The reference to formal defection was the upcoming census to be held on the 10th “it does not seem that such a fundamental brought into Canon Law in 1983, primarily of April. “In the 2006 census, 175,252 people freedom is catered for by article 44 of the to deal with very specific issues regarding identified as having ‘no religion’. I would Constitution, on religion.” marriage, and for those in Germany needing expect that this number could be set to rise proof that they were religiously unaffiliated “On a personal level,” she continues, “it if all non-religious people coordinate on how for tax purposes. UCC student Genevieve was very easy for me as I have been an atheist they identify themselves, and encourage Shanahan, who received confirmation of her for such a long time, and all my family are those á la carte Catholics who do not believe defection from the Catholic Church about a fine with that. There was nothing tying me to in Church doctrine but culturally identify as month ago, is one of those unsure as to her the Church, as I do not plan to get married Catholic, to accurately represent their beliefs.”

Unfair Trade?

ethical branding has captured the public imagination, but may rapidly becoming a cynical marketing ploy, believes ultan connolly. In recent years, modern consumers have become increasingly aware of the ethics underlying the products they are buying. At face value, this is a welcome development, and big name brands such as Nestlé and Cadburys have rushed to cash in on the emerging trend. However, as a result, so-called ‘ethical branding’ is in danger of becoming nothing more than a contemporary marketing tool. The Fairtrade movement was the first such phenomenon to take hold of consumers’ attention en masse. It was formed with a mission to help small scale producers obtain a reasonable price on the global market for their produce. To date, it has organisations in 60 countries, and has achieved success in increasing awareness of

global trade issues, as well as ensuring a better deal for small producers. Their success has got the big corporations’ attention, but perhaps not for the right reasons. Nestlé seem suspiciously eager to promote Kit Kat as an ethical product, while conveniently ignoring the status of their other goods. This is, after all, a corporation with a background in gross violations of ethical standards. Moreover, how ethical are Nestlé in using cocoa from the Ivory Coast, a country which, according to a 2002 report from the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture, houses up to 284,000 children in hazardous conditions?

In more recent times, a silent battle has been going on between the top brands in ethical products. Now we can either have a Fairtrade certified coffee or a Rainforest Alliance certified coffee. Are they ostensibly the same thing? Despite what your local coffee vendor might tell you, they certainly are not. Firstly, the Rainforest Alliance do not guarantee a minimum price to producers, claiming that the Fairtrade model is encouraging new producers to enter an already saturated market.

>>Continued on page 11

Street View limitations pave way for competitors google street view has finally reached ireland, but its long-term future seems unclear as open-source competitors continue to expand, explains seán o’connell

ast month saw the launch of Google Street View in the Republic of Ireland. This free online resource allows users to virtually navigate through maps using panoramic views captured from its now infamous Street View cars. The online service has provoked both praise and criticism here and internationally. Ireland has now been added to an everexpanding list of accessible areas including North America, the UK, Brazil, Australia, Singapore and many more.

Google’s commitment to cover the entire world, once seen as an unachievable pipe dream, now appears within the realm of possibly. Plans are already in place for South Africa, Chile and many Eastern European countries. The program has received praise for its innovation and usefulness, but has also irked many privacy groups and governments, potentially stalling Google’s plans. Groups have raised concerns about the photographing of people, particularly including sensitive buildings such as shelters and abortion clinics, as well as the potential use of the information in criminal activity.

>>Unfair Trade continued from page 10 Given that the price paid by Fairtrade does not exactly afford producers a life of luxury, this seems unlikely. Secondly, for coffee to bear Rainforest Alliance certification, the product only need contain 30% certified beans. The other 70% can be as unethically-sourced as Nestlé’s baby milk ingredients. Because of this, franchises like Starbucks and McDonalds are choosing Rainforest Alliance certification over Fairtrade, and hence maximising profits rather than ethical standards.

In the UK, failed attempts were made to prevent Street View cars from entering certain areas by locals. Opposition in Ireland has not been as strong. The recent revelation that Street View cars also logged wifi information, including unencrypted passwords and information, has further inflamed privacy concerns. Alan Eustace, Google’s senior VP of Engineering & Research, recently acknowledged these concerns, apologised and has committed to deleting the offending information. This has done little to halt criticism, as the information was made available online and many question whether the action was an unintentional as Google suggests. Authorities in several countries are said to be investigating this issue with possible action being taken in Germany, where Street View has divided public opinion. Recent surveys show more than half of Germans opposing the service including vocal critic, Foreign Minister Guido Westerwelle. This has led to Google implementing an opt-out list for the country. Further restrictions imposed by the EU, such as requiring Google to permanently delete requested images including the original photos of blurred faces within 6 months, has lead Michael Jones, Google’s chief technology advocate, to question whether the company will be willing to continue its Street View roll out in Europe. Alternatives include OpenStreetMap (OSM), which is distinguised by being an On the whole, consumers need to be constantly sceptical and questioning of how ‘ethical’ such branded products actually are. The likelihood of further initiatives springing up and being used by corporations to create an air of equity and humanity, whilst in reality doing little to further a human rights agenda, is high. We must collectively raise awareness to prevent it from becoming nothing more than a marketing tool used to appease consumer consciences.

open source collaborative project, editable by anyone, and has been dubbed the “Wikipedia of Mapping”. Unlike Google Maps, which relies on commerciallyobtained maps, OSM’s data is primarily sourced from its users, who contribute GPS traces and add information to maps such as the location of buildings, road types and much more. This real time access is one of its key strengths. Governments and councils have donated data to the project, such in the Netherlands, in recognition of its quality and potential. Its power was recently demonstrated after the devastating earthquake in Haiti. Users and other volunteers used existing tools and satellite imagery to create impressively detailed and accurate maps of roads, buildings and refugee camps around Port-au-Prince in just two days, immeasurably helping aid agencies organise relief work.

“

The recent revelation that

Street View cars also logged wifi information, including unencrypted passwords and information, has

”

further inflamed privacy concerns.

While the future of Google Street View is questionable, the future for alternatives such as OSM seems bright. Unlike the restrictive Google Map licencing, which prevents users from storing data, OSM is a truly open source project and has spawned innovative new sites focusing on providing accurate cycle routes, public transport information and even ski slopes. OSM apps are readily available for the iPhone and Android, while the data is also being used more and more in commercial devices. The availability of maps online is now taken for granted by web users. However, many are now questioning where their information comes from, and the openness of OSM is becoming increasingly attractive.

Current Affairs

Scraping the Barrel

he U.S. military is the world’s biggest individual purchaser of oil in the world. Only 35 countries in the world consume more oil. In Iraq, the average fuel consumption per soldier is about 27-28 gallons per day. In 2006, the U.S. Airforce consumed 2.6 billion gallons of jet fuel, roughly the same as was consumed through all of World War II. However, the U.S. military is also the biggest purchaser of renewable energy in the U.S., and the airforce will have its entire fleet certified to fly on biofuels by 2011. Confused?

your point of view), it isn’t quite that simple for a plethora of reasons. Firstly, oil isn’t just our source of energy; we use it to make other oilderived objects, e.g. plastics. Also, renewables are a great concept but dependent on a massive oil-intense industry for their production. The reality is that even Western governments have thus far failed to truly take the threat seriously. They remain effectively wedded to the idea that the markets will solve our problems, along with that mythological economic principle of ‘substitutability’.

This failure to plan for a post-cheap oil world, or to even acknowledge inevitable Well, one missing link consists of the future difficulties, will “lead to expensive pesky Taliban, picking off the easy targets and potentially catastrophic consequences”, of military oil tankers, and resulting in an according to London’s Lloyd’s insurance elevated cost of delivery. The other is peak market and Chatham House, the highlyoil: the point at which the maximum rate of regarded Royal Institute for International extraction is reached. Oil discovery peaked Affairs. in the 1960s. Supply may have already Let us not be complacent here, this can peaked according to some experts, and and will have a massive impact in Ireland. we’re turning to ever more desperate ways In fact, we’re one of the most vulnerable to to feed our dependence on it. supply shocks, being a massive importer of The optimists (or denialists) maintain energy, having one of the highest oil consumed it isn’t oil we are addicted to, but energy. per capita figures in the world, being a carAll we have to do is find new sources dependent society, being stuck in the Atlantic of renewable energy, no problem! at the end of the fossil fuel supply chain, being Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on

tom smith

an effectively bankrupt state, relying on a lot of imports, etc. However, we shouldn’t feel helpless. It’s very possible to reassess our lifestyles in an attempt to heighten our resilience to the discomforts increasingly expensive and scarce oil will bring. The large impacts are being anticipated, not just as challenges and threats but as opportunities. For example, the first oil well was tapped only 150 years ago and the planetary destruction it has facilitated has been stark. Groups such as the rapidly-expanding Transition Network of hundreds of communities worldwide, including one in Cork City itself, are looking at how a transition to a post-cheap oil lifestyle could in fact lead to a more ecologically, personally, and economically viable societal model. The post-oil revolution is just starting and isn’t something we can just ignore on an individual level for someone else to deal with. When you eat, you eat far more calories of oil than you consume in food calories. When you shop, your whole world depends on this finite resource. Maybe it’s time we started to face reality and actually talk about it. Visit www.aspoireland.org for more info.

Irish sides on track for Heineken Cup progress Seán Ryan

revitalised by the competition for the Irish number 10 jersey and has been reliable as ever, while creating opportunities for the men outside him with his customary range of outstanding kicking and handling.

After two rounds of this year’s Heineken Cup, the outlook is bright for all the Irish provinces. Leinster have two wins from two fixtures to date, including a fantastic result away to Saracens at Wembley. A resurgent, Springbok-infused Ulster side gained a bonus point victory over Aironi at Ravenhill, but succumbed away to last year’s finalists Biarritz. Nevertheless, they are in a promising position, with two pivotal fixtures against Bath in December. From a Munster point of view, a losing bonus point away to London Irish was a reasonable outcome, while the bonus point at home to Toulon was a marvellous result. The fact that the Ospreys have only managed one bonus point to date, while the other sides in the group have none, is a great advantage and a telling statistic in terms of Munster’s efficiency at cup rugby. Once more, premature shouts of their being a side on the slide were disproven, and the double header against the Ospreys – a side that have always flattered to deceive in European competition – will tell a lot.

Overall then, a promising start for the Irish sides. Leinster have © cady koening qualification in their own hands at this point. Munster should also progress, but a ‘group of death’ such as theirs will likely see just one qualifier facing an away quarter final. I expect each team to suffer at least two defeats, so bonus points will prove vital. Here is where they hold a trump card in terms of experience. Ulster face the toughest task, but they proved last season that they had the measure of Bath, home and away. Their fixture against Biarritz in January may be pivotal in their quest to escape the pool for the first time since 1999.

As ever, there are cries of derision at the state of Munster’s play out wide, but given time, combinations will come together and a fully fit Keith Earls will make a huge difference. Johne Murphy has proven a shrewd acquisition and will only get better when more fully integrated in the system. Ronan O’Gara has clearly been

At this point I believe all three sides have the potential to progress and Leinster should be targeting a home quarter final. In the mean time, though, club rugby is consigned to the back of the minds of rugby fans as international action takes centre stage, with Ireland continuing their search for an elusive first win against the All Blacks.

Entertainments © columbia

entertainments@motley.ie

Kellie Morrissey

Here’s looking at you, kid

kellie morrissey takes a walk down memory lane - you may be surprised what she finds… Hello and welcome to the film issue of motley magazine! As Ents Ed, this is a topic that is pretty close to my heart, and this month we are going to have a little switch up and push reviews, previews and all that new stuff back a page or two and pay tribute to the guys and gals who’ve gotten us here today. That’s right, folks, we’re talking bogie and Bacall, we’re talking Hitchcock and Huston - we’re even talking Ernest Borgnine. That’s right - we’re talking old Hollywood…

ou’ve sat through them on long Sunday afternoons and dark Christmas nights. Your mum loves them. Even seventy years on, films like Gone with the Wind, Citizen Kane and Casablanca are still regarded as the bigguns in cinema history – pretty cool when you think of all the fake sets, fake blood and fake tits that came in their wake.

his 1948 thriller Rope, which operates like a reverse-whodunit: it opens on the strangulation of student David Kentley by two of his ex-classmates, who then proceed to throw a dinner party for David’s friends and family, serving their food atop the very chest which stores his dead body. Classy guys, I know - but what is really special about Rope (which Hitchcock regarded as a “failed experiment”) is its technical accomplishments; it appears to be filmed in one solid take. This is achieved mainly through quick cuts and clever editing, but it makes for an intriguing, if imperfect, experience.

As far as a lot of people are concerned, classic Hollywood begins and ends in this trio of movies (with the occasional addition – an It’s a Wonderful Life here, a The Philadelphia Story there). As good as these movies are, classic Hollywood extends far beyond their reach, and classic films are like puppies: for life and not just for Christmas. Let’s give them a chance.

Rope also features James Stewart in a suitably sleuthy role, which is a treat. Who doesn’t love James Stewart? He’s George Bailey, after all - and Jefferson Smith, L. B. Jeffries and, my personal favourite, Elwood P. Dowd in 1950’s Harvey, which sees him make friends with an invisible, 6’4”, anthropomorphic rabbit. And you thought Donnie Darko established that fad? Jimmy was on it before Donnie was but a twinkle in Richard Kelly’s eye. Harvey is a film that’s full of heart and is surprisingly touching - my favourite film quote ever stems from a scene where Elwood tries to describe his “Philosophy of Life” which is simply to be pleasant. Idealistic as hell, but hey.

You like Gone with the Wind? That Rhett guy is pretty sexy, am I right? Clark Gable was even sexier five years earlier in the 1934 screwball romantic comedy It Happened One Night with Claudette Colbert. This is really feel-good stuff, folks, and as well as that, it’s a pretty good movie – it was the first to win all five major awards at the Oscars. It’s just plain fun, in the way Some Like it Hot is unadulterated fun thirty-odd years later: an out-of-work journalist bribes a spoiled heiress into giving him an exclusive on her recent marriage, and on the way they fall in love. Cheesy? Yes. Unbelievable? Yes. But that pill is a lot easier to swallow with old movies – I think it’s the cute outfits.

Everyone’s heard of it, but I find that my favourite Bogie and Bacall vehicle, John Huston’s 1948 Key Largo, is often forgotten in favour of To Have and Have Not. If you haven’t seen Key Largo, it is an especially goodun: an empty hotel in Key Largo, Florida has been rented in the off-season by a bunch of gangsters when Frank McCloud (Humphrey Bogart) comes to visit the proprietor, who is the father of a man he fought alongside in the war. McCloud, the proprietor and his daughter-in-law (Lauren Bacall) are taken hostage in the hotel by the gangsters who are trying to pull off a heist, and tensions run feverishly high as a hurricane hits the region. Sublime performances from Edward G. Robinson and Claire Trevor top it all off - it’s a dizzyingly tense noir, and a perfect example of a film that could trump its modern-day counterpart with ease.

If light-hearted romps such as the above aren’t your thing in the noughties or the thirties, try David Lean’s 1945 Brief Encounter for a spot of soul-crushery. Brief Encounter follows two married lovers (Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson) as they conduct an affair which inevitably goes wrong; quietly devastating, what I like best about Brief Encounter is the sense of “Britishness” with which it is so imbued. There is a sense of propriety, of dignity, and it’s this that makes the (twist?) ending so cruel. Brief Encounter comes highly recommended, but the final ten minute packs a hell of a punch. 1955’s Marty is an odd one - in its year of release, it swept up the three main Academy Awards despite some suggesting it is not really all that good of a film. I like to think of it as a diamond in the rough - Ernest Borgnine plays the eponymous Marty, an ItalianAmerican butcher who has resigned himself to bachelorhood until he falls for a plain schoolmarm. His first relationship, at the age of thirty four, is met with scorn from his friends and family, but Marty’s a lonely guy, and this film, like Brief Encounter before it, is a quiet and realistic - at times desperate - portrayal of love and relationships. Delving into the depths of the Hitchcock vault is an exercise that always pays off, and this has never been so true in the case of

Classic cinema, for many people, lies undiscovered, a gift yet unopened - as someone who’s shooting up the black & white stuff for years now, I can accept how adjusting to your first few classic films can be daunting. It’s a different world, in many ways - but then again, so is any film, and once you open that door, nearly half of the movies ever made lay waiting. Sure, some are pretty bad, but then again with contemporary Hollywood churning out regurgitated Tim Burton and “comedies” such as Christmas’ upcoming Little Fockers, what have you got to lose?

Moustaches of the Movies it’s that time of year again – movember, the month formerly known as november. as he embarks on his own mission to grow a mo’, james hooper gives a run-down of some of the biggest and best whiskers of the pictures to help you decide on which ‘tache is to your taste! Movember challenges men, such as this writer, to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a moustache. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity,

Billy Dee-Williams - The Painter’s Brush

affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days. To celebrate this testament to testosterone I’m going to run down through the top ten ‘taches in cinema history to give you, dear reader, some ideas for how you’d like to style your very own ‘stache.

Charlie Chaplin - The Tooth Brush Perhaps the most famous moustache in cinema; if one grew one and popped on a bowler hat, pretty much everyone on earth would know who you’re attempting to imitate. Forget to include the hat and you may get a dirty look or two. Chaplin’s tooth-brush moustache is instantly recognisable as an affectation of his iconic hobo character though he didn’t actually wear it in daily life.

Better known to most people as Lando Calrissian from Star Wars, and to other, less cool people as Harvey Dent in Batman (1989), Williams exudes the kind of cool that even cucumbers and the undersides of pillows aspire to. But it would count for naught were it not for his stylish, restrained mo’ worn above, what the Star Wars Visual Dictionary describes as, his “winning smile”. He is the only person in the Star Wars universe to even attempt to pull one off. And he’s not even a Jedi.

In a 1933 interview, Chaplin said he added the moustache because it had a comical appearance and was small enough so as not to hide his expression.

Cesar Romero - The Lampshade

The moustache itself has earned a wholly undeserved, bad reputation after being misused by a thoroughly nasty German dictator and recently spotted gracing the fizzog of Robert Mugabe. While the poor old toothbrush ‘tache had no direct hand in any of the events of WWII, its rehabilitation and revival as popular facial accessory seems most unlikely, despite the recent efforts of comedian Richard Herring to “reclaim the toothbrush for comedy”.

Such was the supposed pulling power of this man’s face-fur that he refused to shave it when portraying arch-nemesis the Joker on the fantastic 1960s Batman show. Instead, they had to cake on layers of makeup in an effort to disguise it. Take note, Mo Growers, don’t let anyone get between you and your ‘tache.

Stan Lee - The Pyramidal

Salma Hayak - The Ronnie

While not technically a movie star, the Marvel maverick has made cameo appearances in many of the silver screen adaptations of his famous creations. Did you spot him as a sausage vendor in X-Men? A security guard in Hulk? As Hugh Heffner in Iron Man? He saves a little girl in Spider-Man, gets poisoned in The Incredible Hulk and narrowly avoids death by toxic waste in Daredevil.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t a boys’ only club. Even the gals can get in on the Moustaction and give the men a run for their money as the usually bodacious Salma Hayak proved when portraying Mexican artist Frida Kahlo in Frida. She sprouts better lip-lockes than most Leaving Certs and should be an inspiration to any MoSista wanting to join the cause and bring back the mo. Except don’t. Cuz it’s disgusting.

All this while sporting a wonderfully mature snow-white brush, which, when combined with his signature specs, make him impossible to miss!

Tom Selleck - The Chevron Now, when you read Selleck’s name, the prevailing 80s pop-culture hangover that we’re forced, by the internet and constant TV list shows, to adhere to would have us associate him with Magnum P.I. in which Selleck and his voluminous, multilayered moustache combated crime in Hawaii.

Sam Elliot - The Walrus Moustache experts (and yes, there exists such a thing) Jon Chattman and Rich Tarantino have rated Elliot’s immense whiskers, through a highly scientific process, one of the best moustaches to ever have grown, in their book Sweet ‘Stache: 50 Badass Moustaches and the Faces Who Sport Them. “Most actors grow a moustache for a particular role, but Elliot doesn’t need a movie. The movie needs his moustache,” says Chattman.

But really. Be honest with yourself. The only thing you were thinking was Richard from Friends. We’re children of the 90s – this is our time.

That doesn’t detract in anyway from the coolness of his facial fuzz, a lipsweater so famous that one only has to type “moustache” into Google image search to return a picture of Selleck.

Movies

Gimme Some Film

Among this year’s film festival with the potential to challenge us are the opening day’s A Good Day to Die by David Mueller and Lynn a mix of entertaining yet thought provoking films and Salt, Dreaming the Quiet Man by Se Merry Doyle, and American documentaries are in store for the 55th corona cork Prince by Tommy Pallotta. The inaugural documentary, which will film festival, writes paul o’connor be shown in the Gate Multiplex on November 7th at 12.30p.m., details the true story of Dennis Banks and the rise of the America Indian The 55th Corona Cork Film Festival opens with Mark Romanek’s (One Hour Photo) adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel Never Let Me Movement. It traces Banks’ life from his early experience in boarding Go, starring Keira Knightley, and will screen on the 7th of November schools, through his military service in Japan, to his experiences in Stillwater State prison which led to the founding of a movement, at 8.30 p.m. at the Cork Opera House. Closing the gala will be this through confrontational actions in Washington DC that changed the year’s Venice Golden Lion winner, Sophia Coppola’s Somewhere, which stars Stephen Dorph as an actor whose hedonistic lifestyle is lives of American Indians forever. disrupted by the arrival of his 11 year old daughter. The latter film’s Dreaming the Quiet Man is a documentary on the making of Golden Lion gong attracted huge controversy at Venice where the John Ford’s 1952 film The Quiet Man, starring John Wayne. Martin head of the jury, Quentin Tarantino, was accused of nepotism after Scorsese, one of the contributors on the documentary, reveals that he presented friends with awards - this created such a furore that the film inspired the idea for 1980’s Raging Bull. Scorsese describes the Italian culture minister, Sandro Bondi, threatened to hand pick The Quiet Man as a ‘work of art... very unique and beautiful’, also jurors for the festival in the future, claiming that Tarantino’s vision referencing the flashback scene of John Wayne as a boxer accidentally was akin to ‘an elitist, relativist and snobbish culture’. killing an opponent as the key image or idea which inspired him to Hopefully the 300 films that will be on show from the 7th to the 14th of November in Cork will not incite political invective from the current Irish Minister for Culture, Mary Hanafin; the kind of films or documentaries shown at these kinds of festivals are invariably challenging and interesting, different in nature to a large portion of Hollywood films. Documentaries in particular can be very challenging and provocative in nature, from Werner Herzog’s Encounters at the End of the World (where the sanity of penguins are questioned) to Mark Achbar and Jennifer Abbott’s The Corporation (which compares the legal ‘person’ or entity that is a corporation to a psychopath); indeed, one can be both shocked and challenged by the power of documentaries.

make Raging Bull; “It was the inspiration for a lot of the scenes in Raging Bull. I wanted the effect of the fighting scenes in Raging Bull to look like the flashback in The Quiet Man”. Dreaming The Quiet Man will screen in Cork Opera House on November 12th at 8.30pm. This is but a mere sampling of the potential delicacies which will be served throughout the festival in the early days of November and the only way you will be able to truly savour these delectable treats is to catch these upcoming films at the 2010 Cork Film Festival. The 55th Corona Cork Film Festival takes place in various venues around Cork city from November 7th to 14th. See www. corkfilmfest.org for more details.

Fiona Burke interviews James Hooper, Film Society Auditor. james hooper, disappointed with the lack of enthusiasm for the film society he noticed when he first arrived in ucc, has taken matters into his own hands, reinventing the society with an admirable amount of enthusiasm and hard work! So what’s on the cards for the film society this year? Well there have been a number of changes to the Film Society. Basically we are looking at the society in a more practical way, so apart from our screenings (which take place every Tuesday at seven in The Western Gate building, room 107) we will be concentrating on filmmaking. We will be filming promos for other societies and making independent shorts. We also hope to travel around the country and perhaps abroad to different film festivals and invite guest speakers with a background in film making to give talks and workshops.

of everything coming up. Once we know you are interested, we will update you on productions coming up and ask to you if you’d like to help out. We hope to end up as being like a film version of Dramat. So are you yourself interested in getting involved in the film industry as a career? Well, it’s always something to keep open! I’m an Arts student so I think that doing any kind of extracurricular activity is doing your job! Getting involved in these things is a great way to make the most out of University. The experience will be valuable to me, whether or not I pursue filmmaking.

I hear you have gotten hold of some new equipment… Yes! We have a new shoulder mounted Sony HD camera, a Tripod, dolly, boom mic, and clapper board. So we would like people to send in scripts to us and we will act like a studio and decide if the idea is viable, and if so we will allow that person to use our resources and help to film. The best way to get involved is to turn up to the screenings on Tuesdays, where will we keep you informed

As a film lover, have you got any recommendations for movies to watch out for in the coming months? The Green Hornet is coming out in January; it stars Seth Rogen and is directed by Michel Gondrey, it looks as though it will follow in the footsteps of Kick Ass and Watchmen by taking a different slant on the Superhero theme, also Tron Legacy should be out in late December. Any other big dates for the film calendar? Yes! From November 29th to December 5th we will be hosting a European Film Week. A number of societies are getting together to organise the week, so not only will there be screenings there will also be events linked to the culture of the particular theme taking place (i.e. a French film screening followed by French House Music and a Spanish Film screening followed by Salsa dancing). So definitely check it out!

A society with a can-do attitude and a friendly openness, be sure to get involved and take advantage of what’s on offer!

Previews

Entertainments

on the way to hogwarts, john murphy meets a friendly vampire, a lonely assassin, and some irrational jackasses.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I © warner bros

Director:

David Yates.

Starring:

Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Ralph Fiennes.

When you see the name ‘Harry Potter’ what is the first thought on your mind? Magic? Wizards and witches? Hogwarts? Owls? A scrawny teen with unflatteringly round glasses wildly brandishing a small schtick he swears to have bought from a wandmaker and learns to use magic with it at a school of magic he gets to by the train on Platform Nine and Three-Quarters at King’s Cross in London that can only be accessed at certain times and people he terms as ‘muggles’ don’t know about it?

The upcoming release of HP7 is one of this year’s most highly anticipated movies – indeed, from the release of HP1 in 2001 (was it really that long ago?), the Harry Potter movie franchise has appealed to muggles (non-magic folk) of all ages who have read the books, and muggles of varying ages who only watch the movies and don’t even want to know that author J.K. Rowling is the creator of young Mr. Potter…

Amongst the several Potter newbies joining the vast cast include Bill Nighy (Love Actually, Underworld) as Minister for Magic Rufus Scrimgeour, and Rhys Ifans (Notting Hill, Mr. Nice) as Xenophilius Lovegood (on-screen father of Ireland’s Evanna Lynch). It was recently announced that Part One would not be completed on time for 3D screenings and, initial disappointments aside, maybe this is good news. Great, in fact. More time will now be spent on the 3D conversion of Part Two (release date set for July 15th), so (hopefully) we will be given the highest quality 3D experience next year!

Getcher wands and accio your Hogwarts House robes – it’s nearly time to apparate to the cinema (try not to splinch yourself. That can be awkward and embarrassing when amongst your peers). Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part One is in Irish cinemas from November 19th.

Director:

Matt Reeves.

Starring:

Chloë Grace Moretz, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Richard Jenkins.

Let Me In

‘I vant to drink your blood…’ Hmm? Oh. Erm… I mean: ‘I vant you to come in’. That’s better. Sounds… welcoming. If not a little creepy.

Moving swiftly on…. Let Me In is an American remake of the Swedish film Let The Right One In and depicts the unfolding relationship between bully-victim Owen (Smit-McPhee) and a girl named Abby (Moretz) – who, oddly enough, happens to be a vampire.

With different directors and different actors (duh) it’s remains a matter of opinion which one shall be the better. The 2008 Swedish film was highly praised, but will Reeves’ version be a replica of the former or an even better movie? Rising star Moretz has been highly praised for her role as ‘Hit-Girl’ from Kick-Ass (hear, hear!), and Smit-McPhee is probably most recognisable from his role as ‘the Boy’ from The Road, where he starred alongside Viggo Mortensen. Hopefully it will deliver – but it should not be applauded if it is just an English-speaking, scene-by-scene duplicate of the former.

So join the queues and take a bite seat at the cinema and decide which should be the higher praised. And perhaps wear some thick clothing and a scarf as a precaution from the over-zealous vampfans...

Let Me In is in Irish cinemas from November 5th.

Other November Notables Jackass 3D (5th November): Well, what can I say… I think the title says it all… The third in the Jackass franchise of ‘plotless’ movies starring halfcrazed, surreal personalities compiling a series of dangerous stunts (idiots please try at home), multiple pranks, and maybe even a laugh or two.

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest (20th November): In the final instalment of the Millennium Trilogy, Lisbeth recovers in hospital from gunshot wounds, awaits her trial for murder, and plots her revenge against powerful enemies.

The American (26th November): George Clooney stars as an assassin who survives a sniper attack, flees the country, takes a new identity, and even finds a new love-interest. However he has one last assignment to complete: construct a custom sniper rifle.

Reviews

Absolutely Despicable

joan morrissey finds hidden depths – and great 3d! - in despicable me Psychology drives this rather intricate kids’ movie movie forward, as everyone is looking for affirmation. The key characters are weak-willed and insecure, and our hardcore villain is open to persuasion about stuffed unicorns. For orphans in loveless care, they are surprisingly demanding in requesting bedtime stories.

World domination is not enough in Despicable Me: these lunatics want the moon! Dr. Gru plans to steal the moon, committing the crime of the century. Back-up? Minions resembling yellow tic-tacs, and a scientist oblivious of the environmental ramifications of stealing the moon. Smart. Motive? These egomaniacs want notoriety fuelled by personal insecurity. The characters in Despicable Me are all motivated by trying to acquire the love of a parent and are seeking love and affirmation. The head-mistress is easily manipulated. Her professional integrity is compromised by one man’s flattery, and the liability of young girls approaching strange houses by themselves is not an issue.

An annoying aspect of this movie is the physical impossibility of some scenes in this movie. Now I know it’s not real, but I implore, where is the realism even implied? The baddies have high-tech security gadgets, but when deployed inflict only superficial injuries – never mind the environmental effects that shrinking the moon and putting it into your pocket would have.

This film annoyed me while I was watching it, but my eyes were moistened by the end even with its overblown sentiment. It’s predictable and formulaic, but children will love it. The 3D, however, is fantastic – check out the rollercoaster © universal pictures ride! Sadly, like any children’s story, Gru turns from bad to good. It may not be a popular opinion, but Despicable Me was good - not great. It has to be said - Gru and Co. annoyed me: despicable he? Nope, more like despicable me.

So the three very sweet, independent orphan girls whom Gru impulsively, and easily, adopts, also conveniently have savings. They support the moon kidnap, and produce a piggy-bank with three hearts (aww). Straight from the cruel orphanage, these girls are somehow not needy, don’t have abandonment issues, and possess the generosity and trust to give their savings to someone they just met. Well, there’s a smart lesson to teach impressionable young children…

Catch Despicable Me in three glorious dimensions at Omniplex, Mahon Point.

The Social Network orla hodnett

film), provide most of the comic relief, portrayed as the hapless foxes, chasing Zuckerberg’s wiley hare. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Dee come to mind, as they have with some unintentionally hilarious lines; their self-proclamation of themselves as ‘Harvard Gentlemen’, as well as “I’m six-five, 220 pounds, and there are two of me,” being my personal favourites. While on the topic of unintentional hilarity, Justin Timberlake’s performance as Sean Parker, founder of Napster, is, well, piss poor. The only response it evokes is ‘stick to the day job.’

The Social Network is David Fincher’s fictionalised (or so says Mark Zuckerberg) account of the foundation of Facebook by Harvard students Zuckerberg and Eduardo Saverin. The film tells the simple tale of girl dumps boy, boy gets drunk, boy starts website with friends, boy shafts friends, website makes billions, shafted friends sue boy. You follow? Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg), is presented as an upwardly-mobile, sociopathic misogynist. And that’s just in the opening scene. Eisenberg is excellently cast, cleverly capturing the right balance of bitterness and arrogance to leave us wondering if Zuckerberg is the underdog or the devious anti-hero. Equally brilliant is Andrew Garfield as Eduardo Saverin, Zuckerberg’s scorned former friend/ business partner (one laptop smashing scene comes to mind…) and I for one, am very eager to see him as Spiderman, in Marc Webb’s reboot.

The film is funnier than you might think. The meathead Winklevoss twins (or the ‘Winklevii’, as they are referred to in the

Zuckerberg is condemned as precocious and arrogant in the film, but is this an unfair representation? The incredible achievements of Zuckerberg as an entrepreneur seem to be disregarded. Zuckerberg himself rejects his portrayal, stating that the only part they got right was his wardrobe of ‘North Face’ sweatshirts and flip flops! Despite its inaccuracies and its speculative nature, The Social Network makes for compelling viewing.

Entertainments

chris redmond hops into the delorean to reinvestigate the recent re-release of back to the future A couple of weeks ago I was asked by a friend to go and see the re-release of Robert Zemeckis’ pop-culture landmark from 1985, Back to the Future. I immediately agreed, despite having given its rerelease little or no thought. It suddenly occurred to me that this was a movie that captured the zeitgeist of the 80s in much the same way that the Star Wars and Indiana Jones sagas © universal studios had done. What’s more, I also realized that it had been so long since I’d seen the film that only three or four individual scenes stood out in my mind. Had I even seen it in its entirety? I honestly couldn’t say. Despite having recently finished an MA in Film Studies, there was a good chance I hadn’t seen one of the most popular examples of popcorn entertainment to have emerged from a very recent decade and therefore, I owed it to myself to go and see it. I had some doubts. For one thing, the 80s has never been my favourite movie era – generally speaking, the emphasis during this decade was on style over substance, and for the first time since the early 60s Hollywood concerned itself primarily with box office success. However, after a year spent wading through my fair share of theory-heavy film articles, I just wanted a movie to make me smile. Had I become too cynical after 12 months of avant-garde, French New Wave and Italian Neo-Realism? The answer, much to my delight, was a resounding no. Not only that, but I came to realise

that while Back to the Future is indeed cheesy, that is by no means to its detriment. In fact, it is all the more glorious for it! From the moment Michael J. Fox’s character, Marty McFly, was blown across the shed after doing a Spinal Tap on the speakers, a beaming smile came to my face and didn’t leave for the next 120 minutes. Nowadays there seems to be an irritating tendency for people to put movies up to a test of reality. This is a shame, but would it be fair to discredit Back to the Future for its zany characters, ludicrous plot and bad haircuts? Not as far as I’m concerned, anyway. Reviews of the re-mastered version have been overwhelmingly positive. So why can we shed our cynicism so easily? I think when a movie is made with such obvious enthusiasm, the effects are wonderfully contagious. I’m betting I’m not the only one who slapped his knees in delight when the opening chords of “Johnny B. Goode” took hold in the film’s most famous scene. Likewise, I don’t think I’m the only one who shifted to the edge of his seat when the climax reached its insane crescendo. And finally, I certainly don’t think I was the only person to have left the theatre with a smile from ear to ear. In fact, I know I wasn’t – one look back at my fellow customers confirmed this right away. So I’m glad now; glad that a year of Jean Vigo and Michelangelo Antonioni has not made me forget the feeling I had when I first set foot in a cinema in 1995. And for that, Robert Zemeckis, I thank you.

Censoring Chainsaw

mary crowley takes a look at the controversial (and bloody) history of leatherface et. al. Tobe Hooper encountered great difficulty when finding a distributor for The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Eventually Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) rated the film but Hooper was disappointed with the ‘R’ rating it received instead of the PG rating he had sought. The film could never possibly receive a PG rating as the violence contained in Hooper’s classic was so severe for its time that the film was banned in several countries including Finland (1984), UK, Brazil, Australia, West Germany, Chile, Iceland, Ireland, Norway, Singapore and Sweden. There was quite a shock reaction to this violent horror in which the viewer is exposed to the gruesome actions of a cannibalistic, murderous, grave-robbing family in Texas. However, if The Texas Chain Saw Massacre was produced and released for the first time today, would the reaction to the film be so negative? The answer is no. Contemporary films are generally not banned unless proven controversial,

such as The Da Vinci Code being banned in the Vatican City.

the film was similar to that created after the discovery of Gein’s brutal actions.

Almost all horror films dwell on the psychology of the audience and largely play on the fear of the unknown. There is no explanation as to why Leatherface and his family are such a psychotic and violent group who enjoy torturing people and feeding on their flesh. When watching the film for the first time, it is possible to pick out many reasons for it being banned in so many countries on its release. Horror films of the 1970s were making a huge impact on cinema, as their budgets were quite big and dealt with contemporary issues as well as addressing psychological fears as seen by the group of teens who meet their horrific demise. The film narrative is based on the true events of the brutal actions of Ed Gein, who viciously murdered two women and wore a mask of human flesh. However, Gein did not use a chainsaw as Leatherface does – but there is little doubt the fear evoked in

The film opens with grim images of rotting bodies which have been snatched from graves, immediately introducing the horror aspect of the film. Many good horror films introduce this feeling of unease and discomfort from an early moment in the film; however, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre opens the film with this. The events which unfold are horrific as Leatherface butchers teenagers who trespass on his family’s property. One member of the group, Sally, does not die but her experience is more disturbing than any of the slasher scenes of the film. The audience has to sit through a disturbing sequence of bloodcurdling screams while watching Sally’s eyes bulge as she is tortured by the butcher family. Although the 1970s became the decade for the rise of the horror genre, it can be suggested that audiences were simply not ready for a film as horrific as this. When asked about this in September 2010, Hooper aptly stated, “I wanted to destroy ‘em...”

Music

Entertainments

local@motley.ie

MR NICE Last month saw the release of Mr Nice, a biopic on the life of former drug smuggler Howard Marks. In the 1980’s at the height of Howard Marks’ infamy, it was believed that he controlled 10% of the worlds hashish trade earning himself a place on the FBI’s most wanted list. On November 14th the man himself comes to The Pavilion, Cork to recall his incredible story. Siobhán Meehan takes us through the life of Howard Marks and chats to him from his home in Leeds, England.

oward Marks was born in Kenfig Hill near Bridgend, Wales in 1945. A bright student, Marks attended the prestigious Balliol College of Oxford University where he earned a degree in Nuclear Physics. “I was keen, as were my parents, for me to go to Oxford and get an academic education and go on to become an academic.” However when a friend of his couldn’t go through with a drug smuggling deal Howard was asked to step in which in turn led him to set up his own drug smuggling ring . Soon his career as an academic fell by the waste side, Marks was now a career criminal. One of his most infamous deals was with Provisional IRA member Jim McCann who helped Marks import large quantities of dope from Pakistan via Shannon airport which was then packed into specially constructed Ford Capri cars and distributed throughout the UK. Things went awry for Marks in 1973 when another method of smuggling - inserting drugs into amplifiers belonging to certain international rock bands- was discovered in a routine customs check. Howard jumped bail and went into hiding and managed to stay in hiding for years using various aliases and fake passports “I just had to make sure to avoid the obvious, stay free and not get caught, I don’t think it required a high degree of intelligence really.” Throughout the 1980s Marks had forty-three aliases, eighty-nine phone lines and had twenty five legal companies including a boutique and a recording studio trading throughout the world. “The companies were from for money laundering, they weren’t indicative of any prowess of those businesses.”

is currently serving 5 years in prison a United States federal prison for selling cannabis seeds online to Americans from his Vancouver base. “Yes I know of Marc’s case and to be honest I think that anyone doing a single day in prison for any cannabis offence is being dealt an injustice and the bigger the term of imprisonment the greater the injustice.” Marks has always insisted that during his smuggling career that he never used violence but he believes the with the illegalisation of cannabis there has entered a violent element to the cannabis smuggling trade. “I think the business has gotten far more violent since the sort of “drippey-hippey” days of the sixties, but I think this is an inevitable consequence of it being illegal and being heavily punished. It’s going to attract hard ruthless people rather than idealists. I think it would be far safer in all sorts of ways if it was legalised and controlled.” Groups in opposition of legalisation tend to use the argument that cannabis use is linked to mental health conditions such as schizophrenia. An argument Howard believes still has not been proven beyond doubt. “People take drugs for a bit of temporary insanity so yes there’s going to be links made, there’s similarities in states of mind but whether it‘s a causal element hasn’t been established. Whether it’s people who are slightly nuts get alleviated by smoking cannabis or people who smoke cannabis go slightly nuts, well we don’t know, they haven’t found a connection yet.”

In recent years Howard Marks has become something of a cult figure to habitual cannabis users when he published his story in his autobiography Mr. Nice which has recently been adapted for the silver screen. Fellow Welsh man Rhys Ifans plays the role of Marks in the movie. “ I’m a good friend of Rhys, I’ve known him for about 14 years, he’s a good friend of mine. It was very entertaining seeing him play me.” Along with the autobiography and film Howard also recounts his story to live audiences in “An Audience with Mr. Nice” Just two years after returning home, Howard Marks stood for election for the UK Parliament on just one single issue, an issue that which comes to Cork on November 14th. “My show is for people who are interested in my story and the history of prohibition and very close to his heart, the legalisation of cannabis. Although he failed to win a seat Howard is an active member of the legalisation of legalisation. I suppose it could be called an education but to educate cannabis movement . “Obviously the law won’t be changed by people means to lead and I don’t really want to see myself as a leader or a role model unless maybe it’s to fellow geriatrics!” Howard’s story like me, it will be changed by the voting public but I like to draw is one that spans over forty years but he believes that it’s a story attention to the idiocy, as I see it, of the law regarding cannabis. I that’s still relevant to an audience today “I think my story highlights think legalisation will be a very long process but I think there are a problem that hasn’t been resolved in our society, could Howard more and more young people in power and less and less old people, so yes it may very well be legalised soon.” I questioned Howard about Marks exist today? Not without some modifications, it’s a different the plight of Marc Emery, a Canadian cannabis reform advocate who world but at a guess…yes!” After years of avoiding the law, a world wide effort by the Drug Enforcement Agency (D.E.A.) saw Howard arrested in 1988, extradited from his hideout in Spain and put on trial in Florida where he was sentenced to twenty-five years in prison after pleading guilty to racketeering charges. After serving seven years, he was released from prison and returned to the UK.

What’s on?

fiona burke and siobhan meehan keeps us informed with what’s on for november and december Cypress Avenue

Cork Opera House

event: Darwin Deez. date: Mon November 8th. overview: Indie folk band from New York City, best known for their song Radar Detector which features in hit TV show The Inbetweeners.

event: Pulled Apart By Horses. date: Tue November 16th. overview: This Leeds four-piece are said to be one of the greatest live bands touring at the moment. Guaranteed to be a fantastic performance!

event: Silent Disco. date: Sat 4th Dec. overview: What’s more fun than watching people’s hilarious drunken dance moves? Watching them in silence!

event: Damien Dempsey date: Thurs 9th Dec. overview: We all know the man and the voice....So you pretty much know what to expect...

event: Screening of I am Love. date: Thurs 25th Nov. overview: A film from Sicilian director Luca Guadagnino set in Milan. Awarded five stars by The Telegraph, it boasts a plot of passion and grandeur; guilty pleasures galore!

event: Robbie back with totally Take That. date: Wed 17th Nov. overview: Can’t make the real Take that? Here’s the next best thing! Full of your favourite hits and dance routines!

event: Man in the Mirror (The Music of Michael Jackson). date: Sun 12th Dec. overview: Anthony Walker (a Michael Jackson impersonator) is joined by a band and dance troupe to perform the man’s biggest hits!

The Pavilion event: And So I Watch You From Afar, Fionn Regan, Jape date: Fri November 12th overview: This is a gig not to be missed with 3 of Ireland’s top home

The Savoy

grown acts. Tickets are a bargain at just €15

event: The Coronas. date: Thurs 16th Dec. overview: Their single San Diego song shot them to fame, hear this

event: An Audience with Mr. Nice aka Howard Marks date: November 14th overview: Howard Marks tells his extraordinary story, relating tales

and many more live!

Cork Arts Theatre event: Cork One Act Drama Festival. date: Thurs 18th to Sat 20th Nov. overview: Amateur drama groups compete for an All Ireland place. Check out all the budding talent!

event: CAT Writers Week. date: Tues 23rd to Sat 27th Nov. overview: Premieres of shortlisted plays from the Playwrights’

from his multi million selling autobiography Mr. Nice

event: Matt Berry. date: Fri 19th Nov. overview: Known for his appearances on the IT Crowd and The Mighty Boosh, his music has got to be interesting!

event: The Magic Numbers. date: Fri 3rd Dec. overview: They’ve been off the scene for a while working on the new album The Runaway which is out now! If you like what you hear go check them out!

Crane Lane

awards will take place all week.

The Everyman Palace event: Dancing at Lughnasa. date: Tues 23rd, Fri 26th and Sat 27th Nov. overview: The popular Brian Friel play is showcased by Second Age and directed by David Horan.

event: Beauty and the Beast (Adult Panto). date: 3rd-22nd Dec. overview: Chattyboo productions promise to make Christmas a bit more risqué! Why should Pantomimes be reserved for overactive children and tired out parents? So if you feel like a laugh and a night a little different from the usual check it out!

Better Drawn Boy cathal brennan takes a peek at photographing snowflakes by badly drawn boy Badly Drawn Boy (aka Damon Gough) is back for his fifth proper studio album, his first since 2006’s lukewarm Born in the U.K. Producer Stephen Hilton sheds the pop sheen of his last effort, and lends a clear, unobtrusive production quality to the album. The album starts with ‘Safe Hands’, a melancholic, reverb-laden song reminiscent of his fellow Mancunians, Doves. The first single, ‘Too Many Miracles’, is pure positivity, encapsulated by the seamless interplay between the full band and string section; ‘What Tomorrow Brings’ sides Gough’s simple vocal to a lush, understated orchestral arrangement, while the light electronic

on his Mercury Award winning debut, The Hour of the Bewilderbeast. The four year hiatus since Born in the U.K. has served him well, and while this album does indicate a move in the right It is in the second half of the album that things get direction, it isn’t quite the return to form that a little murky – ‘You Lied’ is a limp effort, while the the die hard fans might have been hoping for. title track is a self depreciating country style tune Nonetheless, it is an album that has plenty of (complete with lap steel) which plods along for six merits; it would perfectly suit the dying hours of minutes. The Elliot Smith style album closer, ‘This a house party, when most people have passed out Beautiful Ideas’, lifts the standard once again, but is or scored, and everyone else needs a little bit of not suited for closing an album. While It’s What I’m reassurance. Thinking does assure us that Gough’s talents are Tunes to Download: ‘Too Many Miracles’, ‘Safe not in any way vanished, it is still not a patch Hands’. influence of ‘The Order of Things’ doesn’t obscure his lyrical talent (‘birds in the sky steal my melodies’).

kevin o’neill talks movie soundtracks “you gotta hear this one song – it’ll change your life.”

hat could go for any number of songs. Different day, different mood, different song. It’s all going to change your life. For indie nerds like myself, the discovery of a new song or a new band is not always life-changing, but every so often that one song comes along that really does sweep you up in its path.

the same on this side of the Atlantic. Even five years ago such a prospect was practically impossible.

And why? Because of indie films and the cool sounds that they propel into people’s heads. Alternative music is more accessible and popular than ever. Back in 2003, the Bill Murray-Scarlett Johansson romance Lost in Translation threw My Bloody Valentine, The extremely assured quote above comes from 2004’s Garden State, the writing/ Phoenix and the Jesus & Mary Chain back to directing debut from Scrubs’ Zach Braff. The the fore and since then we’ve seen Garden song in question is ‘New Slang’ by the Shins. State (2004), Little Miss Sunshine (2006), And it probably won’t change your life, even Half Nelson (2006) and Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist (2008). All of these are built if it is damn good. around their soundtracks: Sufjan Stevens Average films that garner huge attention because of clever soundtracks are becoming charted high in the US when ‘Chicago’ appeared in Little Miss Sunshine, while a regular feature in recent years. Garden Nick & Norah… is built around the fantastic State includes appearances from Colin Hay, Nick Drake, Iron & Wine, as well as two from soundtrack that includes Vampire Weekend, We Are Scientists and Band of Horses. the Shins. While not a new practice, the last few years have seen a startling rise in the numbers of soundtrack driven films. Hand-in-hand with increased exposure to nerd fashions (Michael Cera, Facebook, Superheroes?), alternative music has made more of an impression in popular culture. Arcade Fire and Vampire Weekend both topped the US Billboard chart this year, while Villagers and Cathy Davey managed

The two most evident cases of this are Juno (2008) and (500) Days of Summer (2009). Juno’s tale of teenage pregnancy was a huge hit. While never a huge fan of the film, I love the blistering mesh of very cool tracks that make up the soundtrack (the Moldy Peaches, the Velvet Underground, Sonic Youth, etc). Among the film’s most memorable moments are Juno’s thoughts on Sonic Youth (“It’s just noise!”) It says something when my favourite

moment in a comic film about pregnancy and teenage love is a comment on the soundtrack. Last year’s sleeper hit (500) Days of Summer wore its indie heart on its sleeve. The film is named after a song by the Smiths and the soundtrack is comprised of a rather eclectic bunch including Regina Spektor, Feist and Doves, not to mention a previously unheard of Australian band – The Temper Trap. That is the indie film effect. Couldn’t escape “Sweet Disposition” last year? Well you can blame this film! It can be the breaking or making of a bands career. Despite working solidly on their craft for years, the Shins have become synonymous with film soundtracks. The Temper Trap, on the other hand, are internationally known as a result. While some of the indie-kids may dismay at the over-saturation of some of their pet sounds as a result of these films, I for one look out for these song driven films each year. More often than not, the soundtracks outshine the films – but it still gives me an excuse to play some old forgotten tracks, or discover some new ones. And, hey, you never know. One of these tracks might change your life.

Listening to the new Sufjan Stevens album is like eating Marmite in Space

cathal brennan employs elaborate metaphors in order to review the latest by sufjan In his latest effort, The Age of Adz, Stevens strives to combine his trademark elegiac orchestral pop with layered electronica, much in the same vein as The Flaming Lips. Synths crackle and pop over the duration of the album, with mixed results. One of the characteristics that has defined Stevens’ music is that it is impeccably textured; his use of classical composition, underpinned by an innate pop sensibility, has resulted in a number of widescreen-pop classics (listen to ‘Illnois’, his breakthrough album). However, his efforts to experiment and expand his sound into the region of electronic music sometimes fall short on his most recent collection; the combustible electronic squelches of ‘Too Much’ are just that, and while the Radiohead-style warbling on ‘Now That I’m Older’ aims for majestic, it borders on being

annoying instead. The syncopated drums and canonic chorus of ‘I Want to be Well’ does better, only to be let down by a strangely emo vocal by Stevens, along with a cringeworthy use of the word, ‘fuck’ (note to Stevens: cursing does not a rockstar make), making it sound like a poor man’s ‘2 + 2 = 5’ by Radiohead. It is on songs such as ‘Vesuvius’ and ‘Get Real Get Right’ that Stevens delivers – when he focuses on simple melodies and makes proper use of his talent for choral and instrumental composition, he’s in top form; the scattershot snare drum crescendo of the latter is arresting, while the former’s repeated mantra and simplicity is immediately catchy. ‘I Walked’ is sheer celestial pop, and the opening of the title track is like what

Wagner would have composed if he was a time travelling killer robot, Terminatorstyle. The problem with much of the album is that it is overproduced, and pushes too far into territory that Stevens is in inexperienced in. The electronic influence in this album is utilised in an attempt to add layers to the texture in a typically Sufjan Stevens way, yet it instead serves to distract from the melodies (‘Bad Communication’). ‘The Age of Adz’ lends itself to repeat listens, but ultimately lets itself down due to bad production and Stevens’ overreaching ambition. Tunes to Download: ‘Vesuvius’, ‘Get Real Get Right’, ‘Futile Devices’.

Entertainments

making noise N

oise Control are an Irish ElectroRock act with a very impressive CV. One of The Prodigy’s favourite bands, the Dublin 5 piece has recently released their debut album and are currently on a nationwide tour. Kevin Curran talks to lead singer Mark Southcroft for a few minutes in the middle of the bands hectic schedule.

and DJ’s I think that you need to make a good first impression and I don’t think we did that with some people in the media. It can be really hard. However getting praise from people like Dan and Cormac can hopefully allow us to move forward. Phantom Radio up in Dublin have given us a lot of airplay and Dave Fanning has been playing our stuff recently. It’s something that you have to get moving yourself and hope it snowballs. Hopefully it gets better and better.”

To mark the launch of their debut album “Our Life” on the 1st of October, Noise Besides Irish DJ’s noise control have some Control held a sold out gig in the Academy in Dublin. The title track will be the first single of the biggest names in Electronica as fans. Liam Howlett of the prodigy has stated off the album and will be released in early that Noise Control are one of his favourite November. bands and personally selected them as main This debut album has been a long time support for their “Their Law” tour in 2006. coming for Noise Control as they have been The band were selected again by Howlett performing and writing songs as a band for to be their main support on a 7 date British the past five years. Mark admits it was a bit and Irish tour last year and appeared in of a slow process “It all hinged on paying The Marquee in Cork as part of that tour. for it really. The whole recording process The Prodigy support aside, the band has actually only took about 3 and a half months played with several other well known acts; so in the time before that it was about doing Underworld, Basement Jacks, Asian Dub gigs and getting the money together for the Foundation and Calvin Harris to mention actual recording. We had to find the right but a few. Mark feels that these experiences engineers, marketing people and all that.” have made them much more professional and dedicated “We learned so much about However he feels that this long time craftsmanship on stage, keeping energy benefited the band by making them tighter and getting the crowd going that we were as a unit and perfecting their sound. “We seemed to have constantly updated our songs able to use in our own band... When you make a good impression on these bands as we went along; we seem to have found they often ask for you back when they come more of a dance vibe and electronic sound back to Ireland and that has seemed to have over the years. As we did more rehearsals and gigs we seemed to add things and then happened with us.” brought them into our live set and then into Through their relationship with The the studio.” Prodigy, Howlett introduced the band to As we spoke, Mark or K.I.D as he is often Shahin Badar who performed the epic female referred to by scenesters, seemed to have a lot vocals on The Prodigy’s signature track of optimism about the album. This feeling “Smack My Bitch Up”, Noise Control were is backed up by well received reviews by able to get Badar to perform on one of their Hotpress and Statemagazine as well as a large songs “Take It” which Mark intimated will be amount of airplay on 2fm by Cormac Battle released in early 2011 as their second single. and Dan Hegarty. Dan Hegarty in particular Having worked closely with The Prodigy one seems to be a major champion of the band would have thought Mark would have some stating on his radio show that the release of tales of debauchery involving Keith Flint “Our Life” turned “a bad weekend into a good however it seems that no such things took one”. However even with this kind of support place in their time together. Mark admits it is still hard to win over the According to Noise Control, Flint was media at large. “With a lot of radio stations

nothing but a gentleman while they were on tour together. Disappointment was felt asthere was a pre-interview expectation of a story involving a drugs and/or dead hookers. Much like The Prodigy in their early days Noise Control have garnered a big reputation as a fantastic live spectacle. As Mark puts it “People are generally buzzing at the end of a Noise Control performance”. To support the release of their album the Electro-Rockers are currently embarking on a large tour of their own across Ireland but K.I.D states that the island of Ireland is not going to be the end of their touring. “We have just played Waterford, Kilkenny and Galway and are trying to get around the country as much as possible. Our tour has 15 dates at the moment so we are trying to get to most of the country before Christmas... we have done a good few shows in England at this stage but we hope to tour Germany in January and then maybe other European countries. We are getting a lot of feedback from Germany in particular that our music is gathering a following there. We’ve only just released in Ireland so we will let that settle and plan for a general release in March across Europe. We’re going to gauge the reaction in Ireland first and at the moment it is going down pretty well.” I asked Mark about the pressures on the band due to the fact that everything they have achieved has been totally self financed. His feelings were although it is impossible for them to survive on what the band makes it isn’t about the money for the band or himself. “For us Europe is probably the route for making a living out of it. We certainly don’t do that at the moment. But we are having great fun doing what we are doing in Ireland. We didn’t get into this for the money. It would be a dream for us to support ourselves doing what we love”. Considering the achievements the band have already accomplished they are well placed to achieve such a goal. Mark intimates that 2011 will be a pivotal year for Noise Control. Here’s hoping they succeed in Europe where a lot of Irish bands have failed.

kevin curran southern rock kept together by a tight Jared Followhill baseline. But by the end of the album these forty-seven minutes of good ole’ fashioned Memphis hospitality seems Kings of Leon have pursued a more to blend into one, long, middle-of-the-road Bluegrass/country style in this album with country track. With songs such as “Back less use of synths or other ‘new sounds’ seen Down South”, with its slide guitar and in “Only by the Night”. The anthemia of their violins, the Followhills threaten to enter previous album can be seen in lead single Dixey Chicks/Garth Brookes territory. “Radioactive” and “The Immortal”. Overall There seems to be a lack of melody or there is a more laid back feeling about “Come “Come Around Sundown” is no less musicality in this album that once was a divisive as it essentially picks up where “Only Around sunshine”; opening track “The End”, hallmark of the band with many tracks held “Pyro”, and “Mary” are prime examples of by the Night” left off. This album seems to this throwback sound. “Pyro” in particular is together solely by Caleb Followhill’s raspy be in Marmite territory again; the same old vocals. That being said, the prospect of sales an enjoyable three minutes of soft battles will be raged between those who in the tens of millions and Giant stadiums lament the death of the alternative hillbilly swaying to “Pyro” or “Radioactive” in 2011 rockers one saw in their first three albums, is a distinct possibility. Kings of Leon seem and those who take pleasure in their new to have reached the point that many bands stadium-filling direction that is furthered have faced, like The Red Hot Chilli Peppers in this album. After listing to “Come after “Californication”, U2 since the mid Around Sundown” in its entirety, one can 90’s, and Oasis since the Early 00’s: the boys see glimpses of the KOL’s previous sound in from Memphis have entered into a bland tracks such as “No Money” and “Mi Amigo” mediocrity where the passion and/or the – however, the imaginary hearses seem to be ability to write meaningful and musical pulling up outside for the rockabilly sound songs has left them. However, there are of the aforementioned shaggy haired hippies more important things to life than musical from Memphis . With the release of the © rca creditability… vast riches being one of them. highly confusing video of KOL frolicking The issue of whether you like Kings of Leon after their last hit album has become a rather divisive subject amongst music fans. If you highly enjoyed it you can be accused of jumping on the bandwagon, or, on the other hand, if you were put off by their new anthemic direction you can be accused of musical snobbery just because the band is now ‘mainstream’.

with black children for their lead single “Radioactive”, their cool, hip image is certainly dead and buried.

Meet the Finklers...

Books

john murphy considers humanity, love, life, and finklerism in howard jacobson’s the finkler question. Recent winner of the 2010 Man Booker Prize, The Finkler Question is, strangely, a step away from the ‘normal’ winners of the prize. It is, in fact, a funny novel. Fail to comprehend my meaning? “Funny; adj; affording fun, mirth-producing, comical, facetious” (courtesy of OED online). I can almost hear you exclaim “ah” in understanding. Obtaining a 3-2 vote (in quite an intense brisk hour), it became the first humorous novel to win the Booker. Since the announcement was made on the 12th of October, the most common question has been “is it really a funny book?”. It may not be ‘laugh out loud’ fiction, but it is witty at times (not as funny as it is claimed to be by many critics and even the author himself, it must be admitted). Revolving around the three main characters’ different lives, Jacobson has produced a clever tragicomedy: a funny yet melancholy creation questioning life, love, loss, and fear both as a Jew and as a Gentile. Julian Treslove, labelled a “sentimental psychopath”, tends to fall in love with every woman he meets with a pulse. Libor Sevcik,

the aging Czech, consistently reminisces about his dead wife, Malkie. Samuel Finkler is a renowned philosopher, widowed Jewish anti-Zionist, and a leading member of an organisation called the ‘ASHamed Jews’ (huh?). Julian, from observing his schoolfriend Samuel, coined the word ‘Finkler’ as a generic word for ‘Jew’ and, has never told anyone about this ‘creation’ (can you blame him?). The three protagonists share one thing in common: their bad luck in relationships. After all three of them meet one particular evening, Julian is mugged – effectively in broad daylight. The unfolding of the incident occupies his mind, and shame prevents him from reporting it, or even telling his friends; a middleaged man mugged by a woman near the BBC (which he fervently loathes). “Why did she want, of all peoples balls, his balls?”. His

persistent examination of the crime leads him to conclude it was an act of antiSemitism – but he isn’t a Jew. This is the opening of the integral question to the book: what does it mean to be a Jew in the twentyfirst century? An entertaining, yet sometimes overlypolitical, novel which confronts the anti-Semitism in society, the darker side of humanity, and the nature of friendships, it won Jacobson a tidy sum of £50,000. It won’t be to everyone’s liking – in fact it’s not really my ‘type of book’, yet I still enjoyed it – but it does offer a good read (a great read to some). If this book doesn’t seem like your choice, pick up a copy of Emma Donoghue’s Room or any of the other books shortlisted for this years Booker. The Finkler Question may have seemed like the ‘underdog’ of the six books to many people, but, nevertheless, it is an illuminating and gently funny creation.

Entertainments

seán ó sé catches up with des sheehan of dr fox’s old timey string band after their recent gig in the old oak.

You play a mixture of bluegrass and folk. It’s not a genre a lot of people your age would be familiar with. Where did learn about this type of music? We heard a band called Old Crow Medicine Show. We were watching television late one night and their song ‘Wagon Wheel’ came on. We were a rock band before that but we picked up banjos and fiddles and started playing this type of music. We have been playing together since 2002 but it was only in recent years that we started to play the type of music we play now. Your version of MGMT’s ‘Kids’ has become a small internet sensation. Have you plans to reinvent any other modern songs in your own style? Yeah Kids has got a lot of attention on the internet. In our live shows we cover the

Strokes and Elbow’s ‘One Day Like This’ is our big finale at the end of gigs. People love it © facebook/dr.fox’soldtimeystringband.com because it is a mix of the traditional and the modern. They are songs that people can sing Have the band picked up any international attention? along to. Bands like Mumford & Sons have brought folk back into vogue recently. Do you see any similarities between their music and yours? We were around before Mumford & Sons ever were. There are three brothers in the group Fionn, Cormac and Ultan Lavery. Brothers often fight. Does constant gigging ever end in rows? No, the three of them get on like a house on fire. It is the two of us who are not related who cause more hassle.

Yeah, we get played on a German radio station so we have a few fans in Germany. We get a few messages from England and Germany. It’s mainly in Ireland we get attention though. We did a set with Alison Curtis on Today FM. Whats next for the band? Are you planning to release any material? We are recording at the moment and we should have an album out in the middle of next year. For more info on the band go to facebook. com/drfotsb

Theatre

War and peace

seán ó sé agrees that the silver tassie is not a good play, but certainly remarkable. The Silver Tassie opened in the Everyman Palace Theatre on Tuesday, October 12th. Seán O’Casey, the playwright, once commented on the play saying it was like “a generous handful of stones, aimed indiscriminately, with the aim of breaking a few windows. I don’t think that it makes a good play, but it’s a remarkable one.” The Silver Tassie often floats between the stark realism of working class Dublin in the early years of the twentieth century and the surrealism of the battlefields of the First World War. The play is broken into four acts. In the first act we see life as it exists and the relationships between characters before the men set sail for the front lines in France. It is the second act that war becomes the reality and behind the march of drumbeat and song we learn that it is nothing but broken men surging forward and retreating backwards like waves on the plains of the Somme. The class issue, a prominent feature in the work of O’Casey, emerges in the second act. The bravery of the working class Dubliners - in stark contrast to the cowardly behaviour of their upper class leader - provokes both humour and the realization that the men at the front lines of the war stand little chance. Acts three and four deal with the soldiers’ return from the front. Everything that was has been inverted. The relationships that existed before their time on the front have drastically changed. A husband who beat his wife in the first act relies totally on the care of his wife

by the third act. The play emphasizes the destructive nature of war: it not only destroys limbs but relationships and people’s perception of the world. The production of The Silver Tassie reaches its peak in the second act when the audience believes it could be on the battlefield with the soldiers. The usual set for this act is the ruins of a monastery but this production of The Silver Tassie plants a life-size tank on the stage which left the audience ducking their heads to avoid being shot by its huge guns. O’Casey was right when he said that it is not a great play. No character is allowed to fully evolve and it is hard to feel compassion for those who come out on the wrong side of the war. However, the play delivers a shock to the audience as to how horrific war is and what it did to this small group of working class Dubliners, and it is this that is the key message of O’Casey and thankfully, this production does the playwright justice.

Meet the Borkmans frances o’rourke reviews frank mcguinness’ new adaptation of ibsen’s john gabriel borkman starring alan rickman As a die-hard Die Hard fan I jumped at the chance to see Alan Rickman in John Gabriel Borkman at the Abbey. Upon laying eyes on the set a lady nearby knowingly muttered “ah, snow!” much in the way I knowingly mutter “ah, fat suit!” at the beginning of those hilarious Eddie Murphyplays-everyone romps. At this point, the realisation dawned on me that I was in for an intense couple of hours of Ibsen - and not an evening of light entertainment. As the drama unfolds it becomes apparent that many years ago respected banker Borkman was jailed for misusing clients’ funds and, since his release, has imprisoned himself (in a somewhat gothic manner) in the upstairs of his home. Unhappy? Yes. Regretful? No. Instead he blames an old friend for betraying him and waits in vain to be reinstated to his former eminent role in society. He is dislikeable, petulant, cruel and of course masterfully portrayed by Alan Rickman.

On the ground floor of this delightful “home sweet home” is Borkman’s wife © abbeytheatre.com Gunhild, played with great intensity and passion by Fiona Shaw in an exceptional the landscape of a beautiful set designed performance. Obsessed with restoring by Tom Pye. Unfortunately this lack of the name of Borkman to its former glory, likeability also leaves the audience cold: she smothers her son in the process. Her making it impossible to care about the fate ice-queen sister Ella (the excellent Lindsay of the characters. Duncan) has also been destroyed by Borkman’s ambition and arrives at the house It would be impossible to watch Frank with her own selfish agenda. All three are McGuinness’ new adaptation of Ibsen’s play obsessed with making their own mark on about a disgraced banker without drawing the future and Erhart, the son, is clawed and comparisons to modern day, and indeed fought over by all three with no thought for it is perfect timing for this production. his own wishes. Experiencing such high-calibre acting certainly made for a memorable and The most humane character in the drama worthwhile evening; however, I’m in no rush is Foldal, the humble clerk who is portrayed to meet these characters again. If I need a fix sensitively by John Kavanagh. He is the of Rickman in a snowy setting I’ll just press only person to regularly visit the isolated play on Die Hard. After all, to paraphrase Borkman, yet he is treated with disdain, and Hans Gruber, “Now I have it on DVD- ho ho Gunhild even sneers at his meagre financial ho.” loss. As a family the elder members are as cold-hearted as the snow which dominates John Gabriel Borkman is playing in the Abbey Theatre until November 20th.

Entertainments

Swan Lake

ballet is coming to cork this month and it’s coming in style, writes siobhán meehan - who talks to swan lake’s artistic director, alan foley I’m introduced to Alan Foley in his office in the Firkin Crane in Shandon on the north side of Cork City. The walls are covered with newspaper clippings documenting the career of one of Ireland’s greatest ballet dancers. The first Irish ballet dancer to be accepted to the world renowned Vaganova of the Kirov Ballet School in Leningrad, Russia, Alan, now retired, has turned his hand to directing and is currently the artistic director of Swan Lake taking place in Cork Opera House this month.

Alan and his co-choreographer, Yuri Demakov, have altered the usual tragic ending of Swan Lake, instead opting for a fairy-tale twist. “Normally the ending is very tragic. The Swan Queen realises that she can never be with the man she loves and so throws herself into the lake and drowns and he throws himself in after her. I thought with all the doom and gloom around at the moment it would be different if the evil guy gets obliterated. So that’s what happens, the power of their love over powers him so that he dies and the two swans are reunited.”

Alan is also the director of the Colaiste Stiofain Naofa’s full-time dance course which is thriving with fresh dance talent. The production also plays host to two “We have twenty four full time students “Swan Lake really is the pinnacle of ballet, of the world’s living greats in ballet, Nikita in the course. Ballet has become hugely everyone knows it. But it really is a difficult Shcheglov and Sofia Gumerova, also popular around Cork city and county, which ballet to do, as it requires a very big and graduates of the 250 year old Vaganova of the is brilliant. It’s fantastic that these young knowledgeable cast. They all need to be Kirov Ballet School. “It really is wonderful students can go to a ballet like Swan Lake mature dancers and for us to be able pull this to have them here,” Alan continues, “As the in Cork and see exactly how it’s meant to be off is quite an achievement.” principles of the show, they have to inspire done.” the rest of the company. It is a great coup Foley has mixed it up a little with this Swan Lake opens in Cork Opera House production with the inclusion of male swan to have them, it’s a wonderful opportunity on Wednesday 24th of November at dancers: “Normally, you have just the female to see dancers of this calibre. Nikita is extraordinary, and Sofia is the nearest thing 8pm until Saturday 27th of November, swans - but this year I thought to myself, with a matinee on Saturday at 2.30pm I’m going to put six male swans in there too. to a swan. One of the Russian critics once concluding with a special gala commented that she would look like a swan They are dressed in black while the girls are performance on Saturday in just jeans and a t-shirt: so it just doesn’t in the usual white swan tutus. I’m hoping evening at 8pm. get any better than that, does it?” that adds an extra dimension to the show.” © alan foley

How’s my driving? Bad? OK, more gaming needed…

Gaming

damien o’rourke discovers that gaming lends you life skills - and not just in cod… A recent study at the University of Rochester has shown that people who regularly play first-person shooter video games have sharper decision making skills, quicker reaction times and better hand eye co-ordination than those who play more laid back games like World of Warcraft, The Sims, or those who don’t play games at all.

everyday life such as multitasking, driving, reading small print, keeping track of friends or family in a crowd, and navigating around town.

The benefits lend themselves to the real world too, according to researchers. FPS gamers gain general skills that are useful in

My hope is that this study encourages more people to give the FPS genre a try. If you’re reading this and thinking about getting into the action but don’t know where to start, I’ve picked four games, any of which would be a great way to begin…

Half-Life/Half-Life 2

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

The original Half-Life was dubbed by many as one of the greatest PC Amassing over $1 billion in sales and over 25 million players online, games of all time. It paved the way for many more FPS games which MW2 is top dog at the moment in the FPS world. It is a more followed. traditional military style shooter whose main value lies in the online multiplayer content.

Team Fortress 2

Left 4 Dead 2

TF2 is one of the more light-hearted shooters. Set in a world of Probably the most hectic game in this list, L4D2 pits four survivors cartoon style graphics, players choose to play as one of nine different tackling hoards of zombies using weapons like chainsaws and axes classes, each with different strengths and weaknesses. alongside more traditional weapons. Teamwork is vital in order to survive.

features@motley.ie

perfect stranger l.a. was developed in 2009 by journalist caitlin foyt to examine the millions of fascinating and diverse residents of l.a. to show what makes the city’s heart beat. perfect stranger cork hopes to continue that aim, only with people who say “like,” and “biy” more.

©mh

Name:

Owen Flanigan

Cork Story: Born in Co. Clare, moved to Cork at age of four. Found:

Inside Dervish Shop Cork on Corn Market Street

Owen Flanigan wouldn’t describe himself as being particularly religious, although he’s not opposed to the idea. A part-time employee of Dervish Shop, a holistic centre and book shop on Corn Market Street, Flanigan hasn’t been to church in years.

success. His experiences with acupuncture was largely positive: “It’s grand once you get over the fact that they’re, you know, needles... I mean acupuncture has been around in the Far East for thousands of years. I’m sure they’ve been doing something right.”

Dervish started out as a book store specializing in books offering spiritual guidance and instruction, but over time grew into something much more. In addition to its extensive book collection, Dervish also offers incense, crystals, jewellery, and cloth directly imported from India. Unlike other shops in Cork, Dervish is unique in that it also provides classes and workshops almost daily in drum circles, tantra, spiritual healing, soul readings, and even yoga.

However, his feelings on astrology are slightly less clear. “I would be very hesitant to believe anyone who said that they were clairvoyant,” he said. Despite the hesitation, Flanigan had his astrology chart read on a whim, and noticed the astrologer subtly steering the conversation to ask probing questions while explaining the maths and calculations that go behind reading a chart. When the chart was said and done, Flanigan and his astrologer had similar readings, and had a light hearted chat about life, resulting in a new friend and a discount off the reading.

Flanigan has personally tried both acupuncture and astrology, with mixed

Although he is not personally an alltogether believer, Flanigan can certainly appreciate the value in having faith. “People are entitled to anything that they get something positive from,” he said carefully.

“

i would be very hesitant to believe anyone who said that they were clairvoyant,

”

While quiet and reserved on first impression, Flanigan is a thoughtful and intelligent man who respects both logic and the right of people to worship, or not worship, in a way that suits them the best.

To learn more about holistic therapy, go to http://dervishtrade.com/ or visit Dervish Shop on 50 Cornmarket Street, Cork.

Look-a-Likes

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in a new monthly feature, motley finds the inner celebrities of college students. if you think you look like a famous face, email us at

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“you have to be unique and different and shine in your own way.”

features@motley.ie.

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“I used to walk down the street like I was a fucking star... I want people to walk around delusional about how great they can be, and then to fight so hard for it every day that the lie becomes the truth.”

from this...

to this... Lady Gaga’s style may be unusual, but it’s always fabulous and it’s always Gaga. Never seen in public without her six inch Alexander McQueen stilettos, her style can be dark, extreme, intense, and attention grabbing. Her style is not without a message, however, and that is to dress the way you want to feel.

“a girl’s got to use what she’s given, and i’m not going to make a guy drool the way a britney video does. so i take it to extremes. i don’t say i dress sexily on stage – what i do is so extreme. it’s meant to make guys think: ‘i don’t know if this is sexy or just weird.’” Fashion Requirements:

Hair: Platinum blonde hair. Sometimes streaked with pink, lavender, or even yellow.

this is my shield. this is my weapon. this is my inner sense of fame. this is my monster. ©mh

Makeup: Dramatic eyes are essential-- don’t forget the fake eyelashes! Check out the Viva Glam Gaga line from M.A.C., designed by Gaga herself.

Clothing: Be loud, be fabulous, be fame. Lots of glitter and dramatic blacks and whites. There’s no rules here— don’t be afraid to be different if you’re being who you want to be.

City Lights

Chaplin’s tramp falls in love with a blind girl- the ending is just the sweetest thing! The Dark Knight

Best opening scene ever- and a really inspired bank heist! Zach and Miri make a Porno

That chick frosted him like a cake. Like a cake.

audrey dearing and aisling twomey

bring you on a rollercoaster ride of some great movie moments; be they rude, crude, terrifying, saddening or hilarious….

Monty Python’s The Life of Brian

Women. Stoning. Need I say more?

Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

The Reader

“Luke... I am your father.” A whole generation remembers the scene and the line. Best. Twist. Ever.

Aside from seeing Kate Winslet naked (again), you get to see her rail a fifteen year old. Excellent.

Gone With the Wind

The Lion King

“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!” A Southern love story that was never meant to be. Iconic!

Mufasa. Stampede. I weep to this day; possibly worse than Bambi’s Mom.

Usual Suspects

A Streetcar Named Desire

You’d never suspect it (clearly!) but that shot where Kevin Spacey’s legs straighten and you find out the truth... Brilliant ending.

Will I ever stop getting shivers when I think of Blanche’s speech on the dock with the music box playing? Never.

The Godfather

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Horse head. In bed. Ideal Valentine’s gift, no?

Tim Curry is the only man who still looks sexually delicious in fishnets and a garter belt. Yum.

Sid and Nancy

Sex and the City

Lovers, fighters- and then she gets stabbed. Die, Nancy, you bitch...

Big is trying to phone you Carrie; he wants to say sorry! But OH NO! You dropped your phone!!

Shawshank Redemption

Anchorman

Not the rainy bit- the beachy bit. You know what I mean!

Four words. Glass Case of Emotion.

Schindler’s List

Oh, God, will you ever forget Ralph Fiennes beating the shit out of some poor little Jewish girl?

Inception

Spinning, spinning, spinning- does it stop or doesn’t it?

Sense and Sensibility

Alan Rickman rescues a damsel in the rain. She falls in love. Me too. The Princess Bride

“My name is Inigo Montoya...” You killed his father! Prepare to die! Robin Hood

We mean the Men in Tights version. And the Men in Tights song. Superb. Bridget Jones 2: The Edge of Reason

Colin Firth and Daniel Cleaver fight. In a fountain. Like Pride and Prejudice, but better! And wetter.

Sweeney Todd

Some Like It Hot

Kick Ass

Probably the pimpest scene ever. My lady crush, Helena Bonham-Carter, gets incinerated by my man-crush, Johnny Depp, who gets his throat cut by an infant.

Marilyn in her most beautiful drowsy self, plus the great Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis dressed like women. Best comedy of all time. And the best line? “Nobody’s perfect.”

kid superhero Hit Girl says c**t. What more could you want from a movie?!

m e i T l l A f o s e i v o Shit M

sam marks takes one for the team and sits down to watch the ten worst movies of all During my experiment to see the ten worst movies, there were a few that really stuck with me like skunk piss. Needless to say, I wish I could forget them.

Zaat

Who was the wise guy that thought “The Invasion of the Walking Catfish” would catch on? The plot is generic enough for a 1970s thriller/cult clobbering; an evil Nazi scientist, Dr. Leopold wants to turn everyone into catfish using radioactive ZaAt and to “take over the universe,” apparently. Having been isolated for 20 years, he resorts to experimenting on himself, turning him to something that resembles a rotting grocery bag. He then decides to take revenge on the neighbouring town that wronged © zaatmovie.com him. For the first half hour you get to hear pointless scientific mumbo-jumbo narrated in the most droll voice you could comprehend. The action scenes change camera so often it’s like strobe lighting (I almost had seizures). To its credit though, it has some fairly decent guitar music by Jamie DeFrates.

Worst scene: The second abduction of the girl scientist. Rather than run or getting a weapon, she resorts to throwing potpori at the monster. As you do. Worst line: Sheriff: There was a rumour going round that he was trying turn a man into a fish. Agent: Damn Lou! Why didn’t you tell us sooner?

time, as per the internet movie database.

Shit

Pocket Ninjas

Shit

Cobra Khan (he has a ridiculous chin, but I will admit, the name is pretty cool) controls “Stingers,” who apparently run all criminal activity. They must be defeated by the dragons (ie. those wearing clown costumes that are the most likely inspiration of Saw’s ‘Jigsaw’ puppet). And why exactly are they on rollerblades? © coldfusionvideo.com

Worst scene: When the bad guys try kidnapping one of the dragon’s mothers, with a dollar bill, then a magazine, then a porn poster on the end of a fishing line. Lame!

Worst line: Ahh buttwhiff !

SUPERBABIES: BABY GENIUSES 2 Why they had to make a second one I DO NOT know! Dumbass German villains want to take over the world through peoples television sets, so obviously babies with high IQ’s save the day. Not generic in the slightest! I am so disappointed John Voigt and Whoopi Goldberg are in this movie, and by the fact the babies’ lair probably got more funding than the original Charlie and the Chocolate. And the CGI mouth syncing, the steroids and the sexual innuendos nothing but creepy. We’re talking babies here!

Shit

Worst Scene: You will always have the body of a child you know! But you will always have the heart of a hero. Worst line: “He dedicated his time to unlocking a supervitamin formula”

Ben & Arthur The worst recording of Scott Joplin’s ‘Entertainer’ plays during the opening credits. Two guys, Ben and Arthur, want to get married, and they can’t unless they go to Hawaii and then Vermont. One has a vengeful ex-wife with a gun, the other a right-wing Catholic nut of a brother who dreams of ‘curing’ him of homosexuality. Both want the couple dead. The music sounds like a transvestite tin can, the entire thing is recorded on what is most likely a phone camera, and all the actors are clearly homophobes (the protagonists can’t even kiss properly after they marry).

Worst scene: The auditioning for a club stripper scene. (Have never been so scared of dancing in my life!) Worst line: Ex-wife: We’re gonna get remarried! Arthur: Tammy, I’m gay! I already told you that. Ex-wife: Then... I’ll be gay too and that would make it right for us to be married again, right?

Shit

Audrey Dee and Mike Mac take you under the covers to see what the other half feels...

The bringing home for the cup of tea. Girl: I’m not going to have sex with him, I just think he’s nice!

Seriously, I’m not that easy. I barely know him. We’re just going to go inside, get to know each other a bit, then I’ll go to bed! Alone!

Boy: “A cup of tea?” Is that what they call it these days? I am so in

there. I am the man. Thank God for Old Spice.

The Scoring Boy: I’m round at first base, going in for the second. Go on, Mike!

The Coitus Boy: Okay we’re in! And she’s groaning, so you know it’s good. There’s nothing worse than silent sex. I’m hitting some kind of nervous system anyway.

Lash it into her!

Girl: No seriously, I’m still not going to have sex with him. Honestly. He’s just a good kisser.

Girl: Where exactly does he think the clit is? Oh well, I’ll put up a show anyway to make him feel better, the wee petal.

Things Get Naughty Boy: Woah, her room is clean. Ohh! Shiny things! Wait, fuck.

The Climax Boy: HHUUUNGNGNNNNNNSGGGHHHHHHHH. Ahh... New

Focus! Focus!

Girl: Well if he’s wrapped up and ready to go I guess I could give him a shot... But this does not make me a slut!

record!

Girl: Aww... Good for him...

The Awkward Silence

The Clothes Come Off Girl: OH GOD, when was the last time I shaved? What underwear

Boy: I really need to use the toilets... Where can I dump my insurance policy?

am I wearing? Shit, I think I have a beer gut. I’m going to ask him to turn off the light...

Girl: Is he done? Maybe I’ll wait a little bit and hope for a

round two...

Boy: Black underwear? How original... Oh God... I shouldn’t have

The Departure Boy: I think I’m going to use the tried and tested 9 am lecture

turned off the light..

The Bathroom Interlude Boy: Please, please, please, please, please... I only had four beers...

excuse...

Girl: Are you serious? That was it? Fine. Thank fuck I keep a vibrator under my pillow, that langer.

Why are you doing this to me?? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.

Girl: Is he doing a poo? Should I go check on him?

Poké-Watch

peter neville takes a step back in time and remembers the days of caterpie, pikachu and snorlax… “I wanna breed like you! I mean I wanna be a breeder like you! I mean...your Vulpix is nice…” For me to say last Monday night was an evening of contrasts would be the understatement of the century. After what I can only describe, due to my own personal censorship, as a “bad day,” I arrived at my apartment. It was the kind of day where anything and everything was out to get me. Let me explain. My key got stuck in the front door, my shopping bag burst, I lost my iPod, my alarm clock broke, my phone charger (pleasant as it is) buggered off, and finally, my ‘epic moment’-- spilling green tea, which is supposed to be calming, on my day’s notes. The only thing- and I mean only thing- that seemed positive, was the fact that I had been asked by my neighbours to check out the ridiculously popular ‘Inbetweeners’ at the pub. Although I wouldn’t have counted myself a fan beforehand, and opinions didn’t change after it, the atmosphere of the pub helped me let off some steam. Then, when the show was over- I made an observation.

College students, as I discovered, hate making decisions; despise it, in fact. I can’tspeak for everyone, especially the Planning Soc (who must like decisions- hence, the name.) It might just be my friends who suffer from choice-phobia, and happen to be the most indecisive people in the world. (I hope they don’t mind me saying that.) However, the choice was as follows- head to another pub and have a pint, or go back home and have tea. Yes, I know, an intensely difficult, life-ordeath kind of situation. Not really. But, it still took twenty minutes of humming and hawing (which was surprising musical) before someone, a.k.a. me, muttered, “Home?” So, after watching the most popular TV cult show in college at a bar that was jam-packed with students, we went back via a convenience store, where we purchased Pepsi and Hula Hoops. In layman’s terms- we were going to watch a movie. Then came a much more perplexing decisionBlade Runner or Watchmen? Hangover or Matrix?

However, we quickly solved the problem by selecting Pokemon. Yes, after the foul mouthed tirade of the Inbetweeners, a Poke-marathon might seem a step down, but damn it, we were going to watch Pikachu, Ash, Misty, Brock and all our old favourites. Isn’t that part of college-- watching slightly obscure cartoons into the ridiculously early hours of the morning? As the first episode started, and the six people in the room started to sing the theme song at the top of their voices, I knew it was a good choice. We were even immersed in conversation about the best game (Blue), and how weird it would be on drugs (not very). However, there’s nothing like going back and reliving your childhood every now and then-- in fact I would argue that it is a vital part of college. So one night forget the pub, forget the alcohol, the thumping club scene, the studies, the pressureget the friends round, and start your Pokemarathon. In no time you’ll all be singing “I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was…”

Sleeping With a Broken Heart luke murphy shares that inimitable experience of loving and losing- and emerging on the other side.

Like every young romance, it started after one too many, in Gorby’s of all places. What else can you expect with three euro vodkas and the over-crowded, sweaty conditions? I used what has now become the human male mating display: basically keeping my feet locked to the floor combined with some rapid hand pumps into the air. Once Flo Rida’s ‘’Low’’ came on, she was as good as mine. What followed was some profound flirting via text message that comprised solely of cheeky winky faces and meeting up to not watch a film until feelings began to develop. As is our culture, it’s the male’s responsibility to face the possibility of complete rejection, and being the romantic that I am, I brought her to a small private beach near where I lived. There waiting, written in the sand where the words, ‘’Girl, will you go out with me?’’

“

The honeymoon period of the relationship was nothing short of fantastic; I don’t think I’ve ever woken up smiling so much.

”

The more time we spent together, the more lust grew until eventually it blossomed into love. The honeymoon period of the relationship was nothing short of fantastic; I don’t think I’ve ever woken up smiling so much. We quickly became inseparable, and friends took a back seat in my life. Just when we couldn’t be closer, we were forced to spend time apart. It was the summer of 2009, and I set off for a month of inter-railing across Europe from which I would return to

two days of her sweetest company until she departed for Thailand on holiday. That summer I learned a lot about the outside world-- things you could never learn in a lecture hall. It was a fantastic experience with its ups and downs, gross consumption of alcohol, surviving on a diet of Micky D’s and the after-limes of tequila, and far, far too much male full-frontal nudity.

we pushed through to find happiness, and happy we were. Or at least I thought we were. I thought I’d found the one who I’d be with forever as I floated through life thinking we had moved past everything, but we hadn’t. Out of the blue, she turned to me and said, ‘’This isn’t working.” I’ll always remember that exact feeling of having what was left of my heart completely crushed. She apparently When we were both reunited after the thought I deserved better, that it wasn’t me it summer apart, I’d like to say that we returned to was her, that she needed to find herself... the way we were, but I can’t. We began to notice those small insignificant hates we possessed for each other, whether it was how I always had to As more time passed, more take a back seat to a Facebook notification, or fights materialised over my unwillingness to converse “enough” with her friends. Small annoyances combined with nothing. They became personal reasons from both sides made our so heated it scared us perfect fairytale relationship quickly crumble both. ‘Maybe that’s what around us. The fights became more and more happens when a tornado intense and things were said and done that meets a volcano,’ never should have been. Through all the shit, we stayed together more for the familiarity than love we still possessed. We got through Let’s just say I took it like anyone would. our squabbles and soldiered on to be happy. I I drank profusely and decided to ask my best showed her my culture of castles, ring forts, friend’s ex out on a date before I was even and suns setting on the coasts of various sea ready. As girls always do, my ex found out side towns, she introduced me to the Spanish and, well, putting it lightly, did not respond language and Valencian Paella, brought me positively. After some time apart and some to her tiny island off the coast of Africa to getting back at me that imprisoned me to meet her father and friends. To this day, one my bed in grief, we began to talk again. I of our shared fondest memories is driving in suppose things are manageable, but who a convertible VW Beetle along the winding knows what’s around the corner? As for the roads of Puerto Rico singing along to the Pink new girl in my life, I do know how to pick CD we had blaring as the sun set behind the them. She’s probably the only person more mountains. messed up than I am. I think that’s why we As more time passed, more fights work we both relate and understand. She materialised over nothing. They became so stands tall despite her small stature, with an heated it scared us both. “Maybe that’s what outer layer of coolness. No one would guess happens when a tornado meets a volcano,” with the frail mess she is behind it. I’m not sure two people so passionate and more so stubborn, exactly what we have. All I know is we both it’s difficult to keep things peaceful. Yet again help each other admirably, and for me that’s enough for now.

“

”

Lessons on the Interwebs caroline o donoghue, in teaching her father about google, discovered the real depth of the world wide web. It was a Wednesday afternoon, and in exchange for a lift to college, I agreed to teach my father about the internet. Jealous that my mother had mastered the intricacies of Gmail and the double-edged sword that is Ryanair.com, Mr. “Nothing Useful Was Created After 1975” had decided the internet was going to be his New Thing. My brother had gotten him around to Sky Plus, so he was feeling pretty cocky. We started with Google. After gleefully googling himself, he decided that Google is essentially a private eye device, and he became obsessed with finding every woman he had ever dated. Frowning at the screen as we tried several names (with inverted commas and without), I attempted to divert his attention. “Dad, this is the most advanced search engine ever created. It has every piece of recorded information, ever. There must be something else you want to look up.” There was a thoughtful pause. “I once went out with this one called Clare Malone. Can you find her on this thing?” Oh dear. I eventually coaxed my father away from his one man re-enactment of High Fidelity, but later on I couldn’t help thinking about what we actually use the internet for. The internet is indisputably the most advanced information storage system ever created, and is unofficially known as being pretty much the best thing ever. The internet is boundless, containing the most detailed information on the most obscure topics at any time of the day or night. Possessing no limit or horizon, there is space on it for literally everybody. No group is marginalised, governed or rendered voiceless. The internet is our generation’s New Frontier. But what are we using it for?

We so-called ‘Celtic Cubs’ are the first Irish generation to have grown up with the internet. According to my hotmail account, my relationship with the internet began in 2001 at the age of eleven. I have understood and been able to access this amazing creation for my entire adult life, and the more I think about it, the more I realise that I use the internet essentially as a time killer. Like most 20 year olds I have a Facebook profile, and like most Liberal Arts students I check it anywhere between 5 and 50 times a day. I compulsively refresh Facebook while doing college work not because I genuinely think something interesting has happened, but out of pure habit; I might as well be cracking my knuckles. I don’t feel ashamed about this because I know the majority of those reading this subscribe to the same habit. I know this because I see you on Facebook in the Boole computer labs while I’m waiting for mine to reload. Ask anyone how their revision is going, and they’re likely to make some crack about their Farmville. Instead of using the internet to access information to better our understanding of the world, we tend to use it to settle arguments with our friends on how old Will from the Inbetweeners actually is. (He’s 26. Seriously. Look it up.) Instead of sharing ideas with people on an international level, we... well, we all know what happens on Chat Roulette. Instead of providing a creative space to the otherwise excluded, occasionally the socially alienated have found too much of a voice on the internet, anonomyously making room for the psychopathic, the paedophiliac, the disturbed, and the downright nerdy. Are we too immature to properly utilise this New Frontier that we’ve been handed? Will we expand our understanding of the world around us, or will we just use it to google ourselves? Wait, hold on, just gotta check my Facebook there...

Important Life Lessons- Learned! cathal brennan learns a harsh lesson about clearing his internet history. I recently moved into a house by the Lough. The house is quite nice – it comes with broadband, a telly, a garden the size of a small field, and a beagle pup called Zeus (he’s some dog, but a bit of a bastard for eating shoes).

housemate in computer science was selling a laptop; twas a little acer netbook yoke, nothing fancy, but suitable for typing up an essay or looking up funny cat videos on Youtube. I said I’d take it off of her hands, no bothers.

entire year, so I gave it back to her. Suddenly a thought hit me – I forgot to clear the fucking internet history.

The room rapidly started to feel much smaller as I struggled to think of how I could get the laptop back off of her momentarily, Within a week of acquiring the new laptop, and save myself from imminent Compared to the first year abode, it was it froze – I turned it off and on again, but embarrassment. I looked around the room fair decent. Back in the halcyon days of this didn’t work; according to the screen and tried to McGuiver myself out of the first year, I was shacked up in a little hut of computer script gobble de gook, it was situation – unfortunately, there were no on Bandon Road, appropriately painted looking to be attached to an external gadget tooth picks nearby. Two other housemates the colour of shit. The house’s proximity thingy, or some computeristic bollocks like were lounging about the sitting room, to Lennox’s and a Carry Out off license that. I handed it back to the housemate, who clueless to the social timebomb that was warranted the death sentence of my waistline and liver respectively. However we fixed it within minutes. It happened again the ticking on my internet browser. Shortly she week after, and the week after. The fourth time had fixed it and was surfing online. “Er, do got through it, Chilean miner-shtyle. that it broke down, I decided that I couldn’t you think I could check my emails there for The new house on Lough Road was a good really use such an unreliable laptop for the two seconds?” >>Continued on page 34 choice. At the time of my arrival, one

10 Things I Love About... audrey dearing discovers that ann summers on prince’s street is the classiest shop in cork for your sexy needs; while the thought of walking in can be daunting, once you’ve passed over the threshold, you’ll find an encouraging and accepting environment.

If you’re looking for the ultimate girls-night-in, try hosting an Ann Summer’s party. A representative will come down to your house and show you and your friends the most popular items in the catalogue, play dirty games, and have the craic. Hostesses get a hefty discount and free goodies, so it works out for everybody! For more information or to book a party, contact annsummersucc@gmail.com or call 086 080 8067

Kissing Cleavage Bra (€34) ~ Increases the appearance of your knockers by a full cup size without making them look stupidly fake. PS: I like your tits in that top.

Pure Lace Bra (€20) ~ If padding isn’t your thing, this bra gives great cleavage with zero padding, just plastic boning.

Hot Flush Lip Gloss (€12.50) ~ Pretty much the neatest thing ever. It adjusts to your body temperature to create a unique pink colour-- the more pink the hotter! Kind of a cool thing to whip out at parties and see what colour everyone changes.

Bondage Tape (€15.50) ~ Also a pretty neat item because it only sticks to itself, not to skin or hair. Besides using it for sexy bondage time, you can also make a turbo deadly miniskirt.

Voodoo Dress (€46.50) ~ A wet-look dress for extremely dangerous nights out or extremely sexy nights in.

Passion Lotion (€12.50) ~ A massage lotion that warms on contact, and also just oh-so-happens to be passion fruit flavoured and condom friendly. I like things that are multi-purpose, especially when one of those purposes is sexy.

The Rubs (€9.25 each) ~ Aptly named Cock Rub, Pussy Rub, and Nipple Rub. All of them do sort of the same thing, which is giving your respective bits an arousing tingly sensation, kind of like mint for your junk. I use the Nipple Rub on my lips over my gloss, because it’s citrus flavoured and it makes the boy (or girl) you score have a tingly mouth without them knowing why.

Vibro Ring (€28) ~ Yes, this is a vibrating cock ring, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Girls love it, boys love it. Everybody happy.

Serena (€18.50) ~ Perfect first-time vibrator. It has a wide range of power settings, it’s non-threatening, it doesn’t look like a langer, it’s pink, and it’s glittery. Plus it makes you cum, and that’s pretty neat.

Rampant Rabbit G-Pulse (€60.50) ~ Also known as my boyfriend, this is the best invention known to man. It’s a dildo that’s angled to hit your G-spot which has a little bunny with little vibrating bunny ears to hit your clit. And unlike my ex-boyfriend, my rabbit actually knows where my clit is.

>>Life Lessons continued from page 33

I relaxed slightly. As she reached the sitting room door, she halted and spun around on her heel to face the room – “Tip for next time I asked weakly, using all ten of my brain cells to get myself out of this Cathal: clear your browser history the next time you’re on someone horrifying situation. ‘Yeah, just two seconds’, she replied. else’s laptop,” and walked away. Understanding the obvious and Moments passed. I sat silently in the corner of the room, tensed up crushing ultimatum, my other housemates stared intently at the as if I was expecting a blow to the stomach. A silence pervaded the TV while I grimaced and felt my ego deflate to the size of a raisin. room. The pooch snoozed on the couch beside me, blissfully unaware of the existence of online pornography, and the social implications of Eventually, she rose from the armchair and handed me the laptop. being caught with it. I thanked her, and proceeded to check my emails, which I couldn’t My thought of the day: never go on 4chan.org, go onto the /b/ have cared less about. I knew she knew, but at least she didn’t blurt it out in front of the other housemates. She went to leave the room, and forum and look at weird Japanese animé porn. Ever.

By moving to Dublin and jolting myself out of my comfort zone and the beloved Peace Park, I was forced to engage in new activities, new experiences and meet new people. Over my first year in Dublin, I’ve been taught beer pong by Americans on residences in kieran murphy, resident cork bogger, relocated to de campus, fully learned what a D4 is, big shmoke for college. his friends have described him how ‘affluence’ is something not as ‘less threatening than a bunny’, ‘power hungry’ and to be proud of, and that UCD’s Rag as having more sexual magnatism than wagner. Week is nothing compared to UCC’s.

Murphy‘s Law

Moving from the country to the big smoke was an invigorating experience. After leaving my small town of Mallow with it’s squinting windows and too many alcoholics, I stepped onto O’Connell street excited to start my new adventure only to be met by a Junkie offering me a sample of hash. My name is Kieran Murphy, a born and bred Corkonian who after 18 years living in Cork decided to join the ranks of James Joyce and Charlie Haughey and become an undergraduate in University College Dublin. Moving to Dublin was a decision that I didn’t make lightly. UCC was the obvious destination for my studies; with all my school friends and acquaintances going there, I’d feel right at home, but would I change any of my ways? It would have been too easy to keep to old habits and stay in my comfort zone. However the prospect of commuting one and a half hours every day to college wasn’t appealing. Where would I find time to get involved with societies and make new friends.

UCD has given me a lot of opportunities, but the same amount as any other college in Ireland. I’ve discovered UCD and UCC are similar in many ways; UCC have the age-old rivalry with CIT, where as UCD has the age old rivalries with Trinity, DCU and DIT, and any other college that isn’t located in the elusive D4 post code. Living in Dublin itself has many advantages over Cork itself, such as the excitement of seeing the cast of Fair City doing their weekly shop in Tesco down the road, or acting the complete commoner when you’re sitting on a bus with Brian Dobson. However I’ve yet to find a pub or club that will recreate my hazy experiences in An Bróg or Gorby’s. Am I happy I moved to Dublin? Yes. Am I happy I’ve left Cork? Not entirely. Many internationals have said to me that Dublin is great, but it’s just like their homes. Cork is where the real Ireland is, and I fully agree. Dublin maybe great for opportunities and the shift, but at the end of it all I’ll take a coffee from Tribes over a Starbucks any day.

Kieran Murphy studies English and Film Studies in UCD; he is the Fashion Editor for the University Observer.

It’s All Part of my Manly Essence mike mccarthy exposes the real secrets to being a real man. When one ponders the vital ingredients that make up the Ultimate Man, one thinks of facial hair, chest hair, dimpled chins, deep husky man voices, and of course a sense of Manly Essence that cannot be described on a medium as un-manly as paper. What I’m talking about here is being a Man, a man’s man, a sex symbol. There are enough pretty boy guys on this campus. What real ladies want are real men, so here is my seven lesson guide to becoming one.

Lesson 4: Musk up time. Men Science has proven that women are attracted to Man Musk, but it’s no harm to give these broads some help. The more masculine the scent is, the greater the rewards are for you. If facial hair is working for you, try a sweeter and more sensual fragrance like Armani Code. For those of us gifted by the gods with the ability to grow face warmers, lets think old school. Old Spice is something ever man should have on his Musk Shelf. © mh Lesson 5: Show some flesh. Men, now it’s time showcase what you got. In any situation, just think what would Shaft do. When you’re in the gym make sure your sweating. The ladies will cringe at first, but as I said earlier, studies have shown that our friends from Venus love the smell of a hard working man. When you’re wearing a shirt, leave an extra button undone. Some people say less is more, but you, sir, are a Man, and we always want more. Go for the jugular.

Lesson 1: Let it grow. Facial hair is the keystone to entering the Manly Man Club. Let your face-fro grow. It will itch at the start, but just man up and deal with it. A moustache, a goatee or even a brigadier general will add levels of masculinity to your persona no after-shave can.

Lesson 2: Give your beard a nickname. When you grow a face-fro, you have to give it a name. This adds character and class to your facial hair. I’ve named many of my beards after famous bearded men: Tom Selleck, Sigmund Freud, and Santa. Each name should represent what you want that bread to accomplish. Consult with your facial hair when a lecturer poses a deep thoughtful question in class.

Lesson 6: Dancing is for ladies. If Tom Selleck was in the Bróg what would he be doing if he wasn’t shifting a young one? Damn straight! He’d be drinking at the bar with his fellow members of the Man Clan. As a man, you gotta let that body, beard, scent, and broad shoulders do the talking.

Lesson 3: Tame the beast. Beards look awesome if they are kept well, but if they get out of control they can be a disaster. It is imperative that you shape and trim your new baby into the animalistic sex feature you want. Ladies will say they are not diggin’ the style, but trust me. Deep down they are thinking about they’ll get a chance to stroke your new man mane.

Lesson 7: Man up your bar order. As students of the School of Man, what drinks are acceptable for the true alpha males on nights out? Vodka and coke, alco pops, lager shandy? I think not. As men we need to drink full measures. Find the beverage you like, lager, stout or even cider

>>Continued on page 35

TRANSLATING JAMIE OLIVER abdulleh morshed

This issue’s recipe is Jamie Oliver’s ‘classic’ Tomato Spaghetti, a very simple recipe to make. Even a moron (Delia Smith) could do it, and it’s very cheap. This recipe is from a Jamie Oliver cookbook, but the problem here is understanding just what Jamie Oliver says. Seriously, it’s like this great chef is trapped inside an illiterate spastic child’s body who has a severe speech impediment. He cannot communicate what he’s doing in the slightest. If you’ve ever watched his TV show you’ll know what I mean; never giving out real measurements (a lug of this, a splash of that. Seriously, just give us measurements.); talking in colloquialisms only he knows (setting the oven to “full-whack” or “half-whack.” What exactly is a whack?). The worst part is when Jamie tries to sound posh by using words he does not fully comprehend. It is painful. Anyway, here’s the recipe, heavily translated: - 2 cloves garlic - 1 chilli (he says red, but it really doesn’t matter) - A bunch of fresh basil - 400g spaghetti - Olive Oil - 1 Tin of Chopped Tomatoes - 100g Cheese (he recommends Parmesan, but feel free to use other cheeses) - Salt & Pepper for seasoning. © mh

Peel and slice the garlic; slice the chilli; take the basil leaves off the stalks and chop stalks. Cook spaghetti to packet instructions, and please, do this before you make the sauce, as the sauce won’t take long to make and you don’t want to be the idiot that could have had the spaghetti cooked just as he finished making his sauce. For the sauce, place a saucepan on medium heat. Add garlic, chilli, and the basil STALKS, then stir. When the garlic begins to brown, add 3/4 of the basil leaves and tomatoes. Turn the heat high and stir it for a minute. Add salt and pepper. Remove the spaghetti from the heat and drain the water. Add it to your sauce and fry it in, which shouldn’t take you longer than a minute. If it does, you shouldn’t be cooking. And if you can’t cook this simple recipe, then you’re a very very unfortunate individual. Be ashamed of yourself. Take it all off the heat and add the remaining basil leaves and your cheese-of-choice. Serve it up how you like, this recipe should make 4-6 servings. Again, another simple recipe that is not mine, but can’t be Jamie Oliver’s either.

>>Manly Essence continued from page 34 (which is questionable in some Schools of Man) and drink it by the pint. Nothing more than 4 gulps per pint is acceptable for one to become a real Man. When you’re going off the top shelf of the bar, forget your mixers. Drink everything neat or on the rocks. Mixers are for girls. You’re a Man!

So now you know how to be a real Man. Follow these steps and see the results. You’ll be thanking me in the morning when that girl from across the bar is making you coffee the morning after. Just for fun, here are a few more quick tips: use fabric softener, moisturise daily, and don’t drink any coffee you haven’t ground yourself. Instant coffee is for boys.

Fashion Kathryn O’Regan

fashion@motley.ie

A Lengthy Issue :

From Minis to Maxis to Midis

Kathryn O’ Regan discusses the mini skirt – the role it once played, and how now we are moving towards a longer length. In 1965 Mod fashion designer Mary Quant shocked the world over when she cut skirts to teeny – tiny proportions, and so, the age of the miniskirt was born. In the 1960s, the mini skirt represented far more than it does today. Sure, it was then just as much as it is now a source of celebration – Rejoice! The female leg! – but, back then it provided a weensy bit more social commentary rather than the mere excuse to get those pins out that it does today.

above left: jean shrimpton modelling the mini, right january jones as betty draper in mad man

constrained, tiered society of these kids’ parents’ generation.

adjectives not generally used to describe the mini.

Nowadays, the miniskirt does not represent any of this, with the majority of us females possessing a wardrobe chock full of shorter lengths. The miniskirt is no longer shocking; it’s no longer bold or daring either (it could still be considered ‘exciting’ though…I dunno...) We women folk wear them on a daily basis, night and day, and the idea of wearing a miniskirt in a bid to rebel against social constraints today is downright laughable.

The noughties was a haze of perma - tan and sequined party dresses with the shorter length more popular than ever before. But, it’s a new decade now, bringing with it new lengths. Along with the maxi and the 50s’ style circle skirt, there is also the ‘midi’, seen recently at Chanel Haute Couture. Perhaps, the hardest length to carry off, but it’s elegant and what is more, something a bit different.

If anything, it is far more rebellious these days to wear a longer length. Maxi skirts in inconspicuous colours worn casually with a slouchy jumper is rebellious in that dishevelled, carefree nineties’ grunge sort of way. A sconce around the shops and the neutral maxi is everywhere. It’s worth a go, if even for the look of surprise of wearing one in a place where there is more leg on show than at a Las Vegas Can – Can performance.

Louis Vuitton and Prada were the most remarkable shows of the season. Their It was a bold and daring move by Quant. respective autumn/winter collections It was outrageous and exciting; era defining provided this season’s key trend: the and it rocked conservative society right down voluminous skirt a la Mad Men’s Betty to its perfectly polished shoes. The 1960s was Draper. The Betty Draper/ Grace Kelly look the decade of the youth and the miniskirt is built around the enormous voluminous was the very symbol of this new carefree skirt to give those exaggerated proportions. lifestyle where young people suddenly had In so many ways, it is the anti – miniskirt; it a role to play in society. The miniskirt in a is matronly where the miniskirt is youthful, sense was the sartorial two fingers to the but it is also feminine, chic and graceful – © getty.com

above left: chanel haute couture midi skirt, right: marc jacobs aut winter 2010 In 2010 the miniskirt is what it is, but for the first time in quite a while the mini skirt isn’t the only skirt option available. Louis Vuitton et al‘s collections signify a shift away from the presentation of the female form primarily in clingy, unforgiving ‘body con’ garments. It marks a change; a turn to a more demure sense of dressing, and in a way that’s a tiny bit rebellious now just as the miniskirt was back in 1965....K

Fashion Moment #2 What? When? Why?

Yves Saint Laurent’s Le Smoking Jacket 1966 When Yves Saint Laurent created a woman’s version of the dinner jacket it was a radical moment, pre-empting the trousers suits and power dressing of latter day eras. Nowadays, we think little of our trendy blazers, but in the 1960s the Le Smoking was seen as a symbol of female empowerment, and heralded a shift to a more androgynous and minimalist mode of dress for women.

Fashion

A Style Icon less ordinary #2... a regular feature where i celebrate the style icons not usually found in the latest copy of ‘look’ magazine – no kate mosses here!

Who? When? What?

Pre – Raphaelite Princesses 1848 – to the late 19th century The Pre – Raphaelite artistic movement was founded in 1848 by William Holman Hunt, John Everett Millais and Dante Gabriel Rossetti in England. Pre - Raphaelite art is intense in detail and colour, and heavily influenced by romanticism and medievalism. The beautiful, enigmatic and fragile woman is an essential element of Pre – Raphaelite art.

Style? Ethereal goddess dresses, capes and shawls, opulent Why?

jewellery, empire lines and flowing, batwing sleeves, cheeks of rosy blush and thick, luxuriant hair. It’s romantic, feminine and otherworldly. Perhaps, floor length dresses aren’t practical for everyday, so instead layer floaty dresses over basics, leave hair in loose waves, and spend your days wandering on lonely moors penning sonnets. Rodarte and Alberta Ferretti channel the Pre – Raphaelites this season with Florence Welch as the modern day Pre – Raphaelite Princess. © Yannis Vlamos_gorunway.com © getty.com

Art Attacks

laura hastings takes a look at the unique and often witty nature of fashion and art collaborations. was a wake - up call to all those who decried fashion as a lesser form of artistic expression.

Since the early twentieth century, fashion and art have been inextricably linked. They draw inspiration from each other, and continually strive for the new. When these two entities combine, they often create something much greater than the two separately could ever achieve. This article explores only a few examples of memorable collaborations; a handful of beautiful moments in fashion – art history. In the 1930s, the exceptionally innovative Elsa Schiaparelli, enjoyed her greatest period of success; overshadowing Madame Chanel as Europe’s most sought after fashion designer. In a move of sartorial brilliance, Schiaparelli incorporated the iconic surrealist Dali lobster into a silk evening gown design in 1937. This unusual move garnered much admiration for Schiaparelli from the worlds of both fashion and art alike. To unite such a bold artistic statement with a piece of pure fashion decadence - a floor length silk evening gown - was unheard of prior to this. Although, the 1930s was a beautiful decade for fashion, the fashion world was still incredibly conservative. The Dali lobster dress

Thirty years later, visionary designer Yves Saint Laurent thought to incorporate the work of a great, contemporary artist into the sixties staple piece - the shift dress. Saint Laurent felt that the “Rectangles” of Piet Mondrian were architecturally suited to the straight and simple lines of his shift dresses. This was a case of fashion and art imitating and flattering one another.

Designers such as Schiaparelli and Yves Saint Laurent paved the way for fashion to be appreciated and admired in the same way as great paintings and sculpture. Today, anyone can enjoy the sprawling Musee des Arts Decoratifs, a wing entirely dedicated to fashion and textiles in the Louvre. Here, the creations of iconic fashion designers are celebrated as works of art in their own right. Indeed, the French have always been at the cutting edge. Designers such as Jean- Paul Gaultier, Nicholas Ghesquiere for Balenciaga, and Christian Lacroix have all curated shows in this space. >>Continued on page 39

street style name? Rory McConville

course?

name?

Emma Saccone

Second Arts

First Arts

Shirt belonged to my dad, T- shirt belonged to my friend’s sister, Jeans – don’t remember, some generic shop, Runners – Schuh, Satchel – bought in Morocco, Coat – TK Maxx

what are you wearing?

course?

what are you wearing?

Shirt belonged to my dad, Bag and boots belong to my mother.

what are your style inspirations?

Street style.

if you could borrow anyone’s wardrobe, who’s would it be?

Casual, comfortable style.

if you could borrow anyone’s wardrobe, who’s would it be?

Everyone’s.

one item of clothes you can’t live without?

Doctor’s from Doctor Who.

one item of clothes you can’t live without?

This shirt.

My satchel.

name?

Eve Doran

course?

Tiarnan O’ Sullivan

course?

Second Government

Second Arts

what are you wearing?

Jumper – Topman, Jeans – Zenith, Shoes and scarf both Penneys.

Dress - Awear, Cardigan - TK Maxx, Shoes and scarf both Penneys, bag - New Look

what are you wearing? what are your style inspirations?

what are your style inspirations?

Lots of colour and the mannequins in Topman.

Pixie Lott and Nicole Ritchie

if you could borrow anyone’s wardrobe, who’s would it be?

Imelda Marcos – just for all the shoes!

Bette Midler’s.

one item of clothing you can’t live without?

one item of clothes you can’t live without?

My snood.

I never wear anything but dresses or skirts!

>>Art Attacks continued from page 38 Fashion continues to evolve in the way it wishes to portray itself. Young designers are now working with photographers and artists to produce images which ridicule those who take the business all too seriously. Photographer, Cindy Sherman, has famously depicted stereotypes of women throughout her career. In recent collaborations with Marc Jacobs and Balenciaga, Sherman has used herself as a model and styled the designers’ clothes in a sardonic manner. With Balenciaga, Sherman styled herself as various fashion characters, all looking over - exaggerated and over - enthusiastic at having their picture taken. As Sherman herself said: “It was inspired by the idea of party photos

so often seen in magazines where people, desperate to show off their status and connections, excitedly pose to have their picture taken with larger-than-life sized smiles and personalities.” Collaborations between fashion and art, and the subsequent blurring of the boundaries between them, emphasize the frequently humorous nature of fashion. Fashion is beautiful and expressive, but it can also be fun, and should never be taken too seriously. Such collaborations demonstrate this, and prove something also of fashion’s artistic relevance to the world, and the © thebandfrom.com powerful platform fashion offers in relation to creative commentary.

Lights, Camera, Action

Take three films from three decades, a handful of silver screen icons, and just a dash of drama. Channel classic cinematic moments with pencil skirts, trench coats, denims and blazers, and prepare for your close up.

jennifer wears: skirt €30, polo shirt €10, jacket €33, all new look john wears: jacket €60, tee €9, jeans €50

James Dean became an icon in Rebel Without a Cause, where he channeled his frustration and rage in a perfect story of teenage angst. He falls in love with Natalie Wood’s Judy and causes havoc, climbing the ladder of rebellion and becoming a fashion icon for the ages. Dean was born in 1931, and died a mere 24 years later. He made just three films in a starring role, but has a permanent spot in a list of The Greats.

Hair and make up – Laura Hastings

Casablanca is a famous place and a famous film. Humphrey Bogart must choose between love and virtue; an impossible choice between what’s right and what’s righter. Casablanca has crime, war, romance and regret- in spades. Beautiful clothes on beautiful people is always a good thing; go back in time with classic silhouettes, chunky heels, fitted suits and trench coats.

jennifer wears: blouse €27, skirt €49, blazer €99, shoes €91, all topshop, shawl €3 – penneys jamie waers: jacket €100, shirt €25, tie €14, pant €25, shoes €70, all top shop

ailbhe wears:top €8, jeans €11, belt, €2, tarten tote €9, black pouch bag €8, all penneys, trench €49.99, shoes €44.99, both new look sam waers: jacket €120, cardi €34, check shirt €19, pant €20, shoes €80

60s film Two for the Road starred Audrey Hepburn and Albert Finney in a beautiful, convoluted story of a marriage, spanning 12 years. A road trip through France is a focal point, the scenery and fashion adding strength and cohesiveness to the flashing timeline. Channel the South of France with pale shades, stripes and brogues, with heavy coats and lighter shades for the men.

Fashion

Andrew McDonnell

fashion@motley.ie

Winter Trends of 2010: Spotted In Film, Celebrity & The Runway Item:

Item:

The Trench Coat

The Schoolboy Satchel

Movies:

Casablanca, John Woo films, Daredevil, Jumper. Trending now because... incorporates both practicality & style. This item is a ‘vintage’ piece, it has been around for decades but somehow keeps resurfacing. Therefore it’s a good idea to keep a trench in your wardrobe as it may keep you dry for many years to come.

The Hangover (no really...), Indiana Jones, Closer. Trending now because... the buckles, the straps, the colour, something about this item screams ‘academic’ to me while also keeping its stylish roots, a rare combination. This is a throwback to 1970s British boarding schools & another example of recycled ‘classic’ fashion. I personally think it is perfect for college this year.

Suitable with:

Generally this look is best suited for a tall man, long legs is pretty much a pre-requisite, this look is best worn with more formal attire rather than with a tracksuit & airmacs underneath...

As seen in our last shoot this bag can work with any outfit, depending on your colour co-ordination ability.

Spotted on:

David Beckham, Ed Westwick, Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt.

Ed Westwick, Penn Badgley, Christian Siriano, Sean O Pry

Item:

Chunky knitwear

Military jackets

Movies:

The Untouchables, Gossip Girl, Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace. Trending now because... the colder the weather the greater our need is for fashionable but practical attire. Scarves, cardigans, jumpers & hats are all examples of chunky cosy knits for the coming winter months.

Pretty much any war film, The Proposal, Twilight. Trending now because... this classic look works well with almost all body types. The result is a welltailored, structured look.

Suitable with:

Cardigans & jumpers work best with jeans & chinos while scarves & hats work with anything. I think they are great in crazy colours when else could you get away with it?!

Mostly any item. The key to this style is to use one block of colour (if at all) with a mostly neutral palette.

Spotted on:

David Beckham, Luke Pasqualino, David Gandy, Marc Jacobs. Brad Pitt, Daniel Craig.

Ryan Reynolds, Liam Neeson, Robert Pattinson, Gerard Butler.

Item: Jeans: dark slim, skinny & new fit, rolled hem, tapered below the knee.

Movies: Rebel Without A Cause, Two for the Road, 17 Again, Twilight. Trending now because... denim has been around for decades & is constantly reinventing itselfwith this being the current trend. Dark denim has a much more sophisticated look, the tapered style adds definition & detail while also paving the way for the relatively new ‘carrot-top’ style

Suitable with: absolutely anything goes with dark denim-anything!

Best Dressed Men Autumn 2010: some men have it & some men don’t, style is something which you simply cannot fake or in the same sense define. which men have truly discovered their revere for styling and can walk down that red carpet with their head held high?? please read on to discover who has made it into this months best dressed list...

David Beckham: David Beckham may seem the obvious choice but lets be honest he is usually bang on trend and this shot proves it. David appears to be channelling our Casablanca themed shoot here. The little details such the design on the shoes, the ribboned tie & lapelles on the beige trench coat work really well together giving a really tailored, well constructed look. Another subtle detail is the only item not neutral in colour is the tie. Add in his little boys, also equally stylish & it’s not difficult to see why Mr Beckham has been voted one of the best dressed men in the world countless times. Although I think he could have done without the hat to really make this a truly classic outfit as it is a little much but regardless he is still one well dressed man!

And then there is the Worst dressed man... Kanye West: Wow, nothing is getting past the giant dead animal Kanye attempts to flaunt while out and about in NYC. Where to start, first off what doesn’t do him any justice are those horrible boots he has on with his too light denim and oversized white tee. I will admit sometimes Kanya can get it right but in this picture he has failed miserably. The animal coat (I don’t want to know the species) is just disgusting. Did he actually think it was fashionable?? God no! Wearing animals as a fashion statement will always land you in my worst dressed list. The wearer does give a statement just not a fashionable or diplomatic one. Next time Kanye leave the coat at home.

Social

Psychology Lecture

George Hook

Sing Along...

Palestine Debate...

photos@motley.ie

ÂŠ emmet curtin

motley november 2010 - issue no. 2 ÂŠ mh