NEVER LOOK DOWN UPON YOURSELF CONTACT ME ON 0540861551

F O R E W O R D B Y A P O S T L E E M M A N U E L A CQ UAY E

NEVER LOOK DOWN UPON YOURSELF Equiping the Youth for Excellent Exploits

PROSPER AFLOE

Copyright © December, 2020 by Prosper Afloe All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, copied or transmitted, save without written permission or following the provisions of copyright.

Unless otherwise stated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the NKJV Bible ISBN: 978-9988-53-515-5 FOR BULK PURCHASES PLEASE CONTACT AFLOEDEE ENTERPRISE IN THE KPONE KATAMANSO MUNICIPALITY AT PENTECOST JUNCTION OFF ASOGLIE ROAD NEAR THE NEW DISTRICT COURT. OR Call us on 0540861551, 0247904205 or 0247082906 Email: prosperafloe42@gmail.com or dianaafloe202@gmail.com THANK YOU EDITORS Lady Evangelist Mrs C. Nanapanin Akosua Amankwa-Arhin (ONUA FM), Mrs. Georgina Rockson, of Kumasi Ashanti Regional Office of OFFICE OF THE ADMINISTRATOR OF STOOL LANDS, Mr. Kwabena Ababio Toya and Mrs. Grace Aborah Kusi all of Eastern Regional Office of OFFICE OF THE ADMINISTRATOR OF STOOL LANDS and Rev. Reginald Fiifi Quansah of THE DIVINE HEALER’S CHURCH, AWOSHIE ASSEMBLY. I say God richly bless you all for your time and support.

Cover & Layout Design Michael Maupioga, 0242539261 Designed and Printed by BHL Printz Telephone: 0201736883, 0244650055

DEDICATION I dedicate this wonderful book to every child of God, most especially to my wonderful wife, Diana Mamley Okoe Afloe, Rt. Rev. Christian Obebie Duorsi of Blessed Memory - Founder and leader of Christ Healing and Salvation Church, Rev. Mrs. Joyce Tetteh and Rev Reginald Fiifi Quansah of the Divine Healer’s Church District A West 3 Kwashieman And my wonderful counselor Mrs. Lady Evengelist C. Nanapanin Akosua Amankwa-Arhin (Onua FM) To my mother, Mrs. Sophilia Dornukie Duorsi, God richly bless you for all you spent to bring me up.

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENT My appreciation to my wonderful Counselors - Lady Evangelist Mrs. C. Nanapanin Akosua Amankwa-Arhin (Onua FM), Mrs. Christie Esi Bobobee, former Administrator, Office of the Administrator of Stool Lands, Nana Nsuase Opoku Agyeman III, The Chairman of Lands Commission, Ashanti Region, Mr. & Mrs. Adumuah of The Methodist Church of Ghana, Kpone Circuit and my wonderful Pastors; Apostle Godson Tetteh Asilevi, Head Pastor, The Divine Healer’s Church, District ‘A’ West 3, Kwashieman – Accra; Rev. Elliot Class-Peters (National Youth Secretary – TDHC), Rev. Mordecai Adjetey NicksonNubuor (National Youth Organizer – TDHC); Rev. Reginald Fiifi Quansah, Rev. Charles Appiah, Eld. Naomi Bruce and Eld. Joseph Wuko Tetteh – all of TDHC Awoshie Assembly, and Rev. Mrs. Joyce Tetteh – TDHC, Darkuman Assembly, Ebenezer Arthur – Former Regional Stool Lands Officer, Ashanti, Mrs. Stella Owusu Ansah and Ruth Arthur all of Regional Stool Lands Office, Ashanti, Mr. Eugene Asante Koranteng, Kumasi Metropolitan Assembly, Mukaila Bludo, Asikuma-Eastern Region, Elikem Avemegah, Fredrick Opoku Denkyira, Dickson Agbogah and Maame Ama Edumadze-Acquah – Administrator, Yaa Boatema Asare all at the Head Office, Administrator of Stool Lands, Accra, Francis Arthur – Victorious Child Ministry, Kpone. To Mrs. Hellen Dzigbordi Dzorka-Korley, Romeo Sarpong – Hyundai Motors & Investment Gh. Ltd. and my wonderful in-laws – Mr. Cornelius Amankwah and Mrs. Dora Allotey from Kpone; Mr. and Mrs Brown Acquah, Mrs Comfort Naa Norkor Amankwah. Above all my wonderful parent, Sophilia Donukie Duorsi and Mr. Emmanuel Tetteh Afloe, my wife Diana Mamley Okoe Afloe, my adorable Son and Daughter Reynald Adom Lamptey Afloe and Emmanuella Dede Wayo Amankwah, all my Brothers & Sisters, and Friends. Most especially my one and only lovely sister Roseline Buenorkuo Afloe. Thank you for making this project a success.

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CONTENT Dedication iii Acknowledgment iv Foreword viii Introduction x

CHAPTER ONE – MY TESTIMONY Confession 11 Life is a Challenge so Never Look Down Upon Yourself

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My Educational Life 12 How Life Became Very Difficult For Me

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How I Became a Worker

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Advice to the Youth

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CHAPTER TWO – SELF CONSCIOUSNESS Never Look Down upon Yourself

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Self- Discipline and Hard Work

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How to Dress for Your Success

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Self-Discipline and Friendship

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The Core Personalities of Human

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Seven Ways to Make the Youth Feel Important

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CHAPTER THREE – YOUTHFUL CHALLENGES Seven Things Evil Spirits Pin on the Youth

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Some Symptoms of Pride

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CHAPTER FOUR – INTERPERSONAL INTERACTIONS Why People Look Down on You

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Four Types Of People You Should Be Careful With

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How You Should Deal With Your Family Members

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Three Reasons Why People Look Down On You

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Seven People You Should Avoid as Youth

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Dealing With Jealousy And Hatred

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Benefits of Over Sensitive People at Work

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How to Manage Highly Sensitive People

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CHAPTER FIVE – LESSONS THE YOUTH SHOULD LEARN Ten Important Lessons The Youth Must Learn Before Age 30

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Four Mistakes Most Young People Do At Their Youthful Age & Regret Later In Life

How Young People Think & How they spend their resources

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Do Not Allow Yourself To Be Controlled By These Five Things As Youth

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Six Things Poor People Do that the Rich Do not Do

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CHAPTER SIX – LEADERSHIP SKILLS See Yourself as a Leader

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Be Forward Thinking as a Youth

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The Quality of Courage in the Life of a Youth

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Stay on Course in Life as a Youth

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Dare to Go Forward to Achieve your Goals in Life

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How to Build a Strategic Plan as a Youth

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How to be a Self-Motivated Leader

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Hard Work can Make You a Great Leader

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Treat others with Respect

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CHAPTER SEVEN – THE MOTIVATIONAL FACTORS Confidence

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Start Thinking Confidently about yourself

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How to Practice Confidence as a Youth

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Focus on What You Want Rather Than What You Do not Want

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How To Be Confident As A Youth

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Seven Steps to Become a Better Leader

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Strong Leaders Consistently Credit Their Success To Having

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Reach Out To Those People And Connect

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What Does Becoming A Better Leader Mean?

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CHAPTER EIGHT – LEAD BY EXAMPLE When You Do not Lead by Example as Youth

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Apply this to your Life as Youth

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How Do You Lead By Example In The Workplace?

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Here Are Seven Ways To Lead By Example and Inspire Your Team

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Why Is It Important To Lead By Example As A Youth?

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What Kind Of Leader Leads By Example As Youth?

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What Are The Leadership Skills As Youth?

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Why Are Leadership Skills Important?

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Leadership Skills: Definitions And Examples

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Six leadership skills you must know

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Here Are Some Examples of Additional Ways You Can Develop Your Leadership Skills

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How To Highlight Leadership Skills When Applying For Jobs

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The Importance of Leading By Example As Youth

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CHAPTER NINE - COMMUNITY Q& A

These Are Some Question From The Community Where I Live

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Conclusion 97 References 99

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FOREWORD The book Never Look Down Upon Yourself, Equiping the youth for Excellent Exploits written by Brother Prosper Afloe, seeks to bring to the fore issues of self-consciousness, management of your youth as far as challenges that every young person goes through as they grow up come into play. In it, he has carefully given account of his own life experience just for you to understand that no matter what life presents to us there is always the Living God who is ready to take you out of it and set your feet to a solid ground.

The writer further talks about self-introspection which he calls “interpersonal interactions”. He answers the question of who to trust and reasons why people look down on you as a youth, including the age long family members and their attendant problems.

Brother Afloe explains mistakes that the youth of today makes and how to identify them and work towards them. He doesn’t end there but goes further to give readers six things poor people do that the rich will never do.

In chaper six the writer gives us six leadership skills for all categories of leaders. Also motivational factors that drives leadership to safety. It is really important for leaders to lead by example and not to teach virtue and practice vice. So he discusses that in detail as well.

In brief the writer has broken each chapter into segments for you to really appreciate the nitty-gritty of each topic raised, he left no topic hanging rather every topic has vividly been explained to make it easy for readers to appreciate. He discusses each chapter viii

in a frank and down to earth manner in a simple everyday English for the understanding of all manner of persons.

As a youth activist, and one who has been in the space of the youth in The Divine Healer’s Church for close to two decades, I know that equipping oneself for excellent exploits is important.

I appreciate the content of this write up and I would therefore recommend it to every one especially the youth who have all manner of problems when it comes to peer pressure and trying to make headway in life. In short the book Never Look Down Upon Yourself is a must read for all.

Apostle Emmanuel Acquaye National Youth Chairman The Divine Healer’s Church Headquarters, Accra.

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INTRODUCTION “There are three types of people. Some people make things happen, others watch what is happening, and some people have not the slightest idea what is happening”. MRS. CHRISTIE ESI BOBOBEE (FORMER ADMINISTRATOR), OFFICE OF THE ADMINISTRATOR OF STOOL LANDS, once said. In this book, we are going to talk about confidence in action and leadership in our society. There is a need for good leadership in our homes, in our business organizations, in our private and public institutions, we need leadership more than ever before. And especially, we need leadership to take us into the future. We need people who have vision and courage, people with the ability to chart new seas and break new grounds.

We need two types of leaders. The first type is the most important or foundational - the transactional leader. The transactional leader is the person who gets things done with and through others.

The second type of leader that we need is the transformational leader. This is the leader who is the path maker. This is the leader who is the visionary. This is the leader who motivates, uplifts, inspires, and empowers people to perform at levels far beyond anything they have ever done before.

THEREFORE, NEVER LOOK DOWN UPON YOURSELF x

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MY TESTIMONY

CONFESSION Thanks be unto God who has transformed me from the domain of darkness into the kingdom of His beloved son in whom I live, move, and have my being! He is my place of rest, health, wealth, security, and peace with prosperity.

I influence my world with the principles of God’s glorious kingdom to which I belong, in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

LIFE IS A CHALLENGE SO NEVER LOOK DOWN UPON YOURSELF The Bible says that “Mark the perfect man and behold for the future of that man is peace. (Psalm 37:37).” I would like to share a bit of my life story for you to know that life is not a race but rather how you make it. There is no hurry in life, so never follow the world but rather let the world follow you. I come from a village called Ada Koluedor in the Ada West District of Greater Accra Region.

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MY EDUCATIONAL LIFE I started school at Nkwakubew Presby Primary School at New Dodi, a village in the Asuogyaman District of the Eastern Region of Ghana. Then to McCarthy Hill Basic School at Awoshie in Accra. I went on to complete Junior High School at Ada and then proceeded to Ada Technical Institute for my Secondary School education where I offered a course in Motor Vehicle Mechanics from 2009 to 2013.

HOW LIFE BECAME VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME After completing school, I went to see my father in Accra who asked me to come back home and take up a teaching job. I indicated my intention to go on attachment but he will have none of it. He told me if I was not prepared to teach, I should find something else to do so I can fend for myself because he’s done all he could for me. From this point on, life became so difficult for me to the extent that there were so many times I could not afford even one meal a day. I would stay indoors for days without food and sometimes no water to drink. I got so frustrated.

A couple of times I journeyed from Accra to Tema on foot in search of something to do to earn a living. It was on one of such occasions, journeying on foot to Tema with only Gh¢1.00 in my pocket. I used a part of this mount to buy spring rolls and sachet water at 50pesewas and 20pesewas respectively, left with the change of 30pesewas in my pocket.

On my way back to Accra I met a truck driver also on his way to Accra. I stopped him and, with God’s providence, he offered me a lift to Makola. He engaged me in conversation 12

to ascertain my motivation to commute on foot between Accra and Tema. This conversation connected one thing to the other and before I could get off the truck, he handed me Ghc30 for food. I was so happy and thanked him for saving my life that day.

A week after my encounter with the Good Samaritan, I went back to Tema to seek employment as a driver’s mate. I met another driver and pleaded with him to take me on as his mate. God being so good, he accepted me that faithful day and that was how life began for me. One day my boss asked me to go and load at the DHL yard in Tema Community 9, there I met my saviour who has now become my lovely wife.

On that faithful day at the DHL yard, I met a lady called Diana. She was on her way to fetch water. I asked her to give me some water to quench my thirst of which she did.

We established friendship and I took her contact details.

We built upon this relationship and through this, I later proposed to her and she also accepted to be my life partner.

By the grace of God, prayers were answered and we got married.

My experience has thought me that life is no joke. It takes determination and perseverance to make it successfully.

As someone with special interest for youth development, I entreat all youth to work hard till the last sweat drops, to make life better for themselves. Hard work is not an easy battle, yet it has killed no man. If a physically challenged 13

person can make it in life, what stops you – an able-bodied youth?

PRAYER Precious Father, I thank you for my new life in Christ. I have put on the new man, which is created in righteousness and true holiness? I have put away the works of the flesh, and live only in, and by the truth of your word.

Thank you for bringing me into the liberty of the Spirit, as I walk in the glory of my new life and nature in Christ, in Jesus’ name Amen.

HOW I BECAME A WORKER The good news happened after my marriage when God opened a job opportunity for me and today, I am permanently employed with the Office of the Administrator of Stool Lands (OASL), Regional Office at Kumasi. I am so grateful to Almighty God for all He has done for me and my family and all glory, honor be unto His Holy name.

ADVICE TO THE YOUTH Never give up in life. Stay focused, be watchful, and never follow friends aimlessly. Know what you want in life my brothers and sisters, and let no man deceive you. Finally, in all things, remember the Lord your God; for He is the Supreme Commander. Shalom! Peace!

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SELF-CONCIOUSNESS NEVER LOOK DOWN ON YOURSELF Men are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they, therefore, remain bound. The man who does not shrink from self-crucifixion can never fail to accomplish the objectives upon which his heart is set. This is true of earthly as of heavenly things.

Even the man whose objective is to acquire wealth must be prepared to make great personal sacrifices, how much more he who would realize a strong and well-poised life.

Never look down upon yourself because no one knows tomorrow. Life could be really terrible but there are so many ways of making life easier and comfortable for yourself.

Never let bad friends influence you. Bad influence they say can cause failure in life because …your influencer may be looking forward to destroying you and bringing you down to his level. You may have a great future but because you allowed yourself to be negatively influenced by friends, all you have laboured for could automatically go down the drain for good. Therefore never put your trust in people but only in God and yourself. Doing it yourself can help you achieve a lot in life. Working by yourself, more often than not, helps you create your vision and common goals for tomorrow.

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Scripture says, “With God, all things are possible” (Matthew 19:23). As true and powerful as this scripture is, ask yourself this question: Are you walking according to God’s will? I appeal to you dear brethren, to work hard and fight for your better tomorrow because nothing good is achieved on a silver platter.

SELF DISCIPLINE AND HARD WORK Leaders are not born; they are made. And they are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that is the price we will have to pay to achieve that goal, or any goal.

There is perhaps no area of your life where self-discipline has a greater impact on your future than in your work.

Yet, if you are like most people, from the time you start in the morning and continuing throughout the day, you are surrounded by people and events that draw you away from doing the most important things. However, it is through doing your most important tasks that you move onward and upward, quickly, and dependable in your career. A group of senior executives were asked, “What are the most important qualities that a person would need to be promoted in your company?” Of these executives, 70 percent agreed that the most important qualities are; 1. The ability to set priorities and work on high-value tasks; 2. The discipline to get the job done quickly and well.

More than anything else, these two qualities are vital for career success. Diligence, discipline, focus on work will enable you to consistently and predictably get more work done and get paid.

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HOW TO DRESS FOR YOUR SUCCESS Finally, you need to discipline yourself to look the part.

Remember, “Birds of the same feather flock together.” When it comes to presentation, people like to promote others who look like them. Bosses are very sensitive to the appearance of their staff. They like to promote people who they are proud to introduce to their friends and colleagues. Be sure that you dress and groom in such a way that your boss would be proud to take you out for lunch and introduce you to others as a representative of his or her company. Each morning before you go to work, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “do I look like one of the top people in my field?”

If you do not, go back and change- and keep changing until you look like one of the top people in your company.

Learn how to dress for success. Read books and articles, or ask others for advice. Look at the most successful people in your company and dress the way they do. Dress for the job two levels above your current job. Remember that 90 percent of the impression you make on other people will be determined by your dressing and grooming. Make sure that your first impression and then the second and third impressions- are consistent with the message you want to send.

Many people work their entire lives without realizing that by putting forward a little extra effort, working a little harder, and focusing on higher-value tasks, they could become one of the most valuable people in their organization. When you discipline yourself to continually increase the value of your contribution to your company, you guarantee yourself a wonderful future.

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SELF-DISCIPLINE AND FRIENDSHIP Everything you want in life has a price connected to it. There is a price to pay if you want to make things better, a price to pay for leaving things as they are, a price for everything.

Seventy-five percent (75%)of your happiness will come from happy relationships with other people. Make strategic association with other people as well. E.g friends and neighbours. These are the same people you need to be very careful with as well.

It, therefore, behoves on you to become excellent at human relations. Fortunately, this is a learnable skill. You can become one of the most popular people in your work and social circle by simply engaging in practices that other popular people such as friends and coworkers practice regularly.

Aristotle wrote that man is a social animal. This means that we define ourselves in terms of our relationships with other people. Our destinies are determined by our interactions with others and theirs with us. We learn who we are and know much about ourselves only by interacting with other people.

THE CORE PERSONALITIES OF YOUTH Psychologists tell us that everything we do is either to build our self-esteem or to protect it from being torn down by other people. Each person is hypersensitive about his or her sense of personal value and importance.

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Your self-esteem (how you feel about yourself, how much you like yourself) is largely determined by your self-image or the way you see and think about yourself.

Your self-image is made up of three parts, like the three wedges of a pie, each touching the other: 1. First, your self-image is made up of the way you see yourself. This largely determines the way you walk, talk, behave, and interact with others.

2. The second part of your self-image is the way you think others see you. If you think other people like, respect, and admire you, you positively see yourself and you enjoy higher feeling of self-esteem and self-importance.

3. The third part of your self-image is the way people see you and treat you. If you think you are wellliked and popular and someone treats you rudely or disrespectfully, it can be a shock to your self-image and lower your self-esteem. On the other hand, if you see yourself as an average person, and the people you meet treat you as though you are a valuable and important person, you can experience a positive shock to your selfimage which causes you to like and value yourself even more.

PRAYER Dear father I’m completely yielded to your word and walking according to your divine instructions, in an orderly manner. I refuse to be disorderly, unruly, indisciplined, or lawless; I act on your instructions swiftly without hesitation. Therefore, I experience the miraculous every day, in Jesus name Amen.

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(Hebrews 8 verse 3), “For every high priest is appointed to offer both gifts and sacrifices. Therefore, it is necessary that this one also should have something to offer.”

SEVEN WAYS TO MAKE THE YOUTH FEEL IMPORTANT The key to excellent relationships with others is quite simple: make them feel important. To the degree which you can make other people feel important – starting with members of your family and then extending outward to your friends and coworkers- you will become one of the most popular people in your world.

There are seven ways to make other people feel important.

These simple practices one can learn through repetition.

1. Accept People the Way They Are: One of the deepest cravings of human nature is to be accepted by other people without judgment, evaluation, or criticism.

Psychologists call this behavior “unconditional positive regard”. This is when you accept the other person completely, without reservation for exactly the way he or she is.

Because most people are judgmental and critical, to be unconditionally accepted by another person raises that person’s self-esteem, reinforces his or her self-image, and makes that person feel happy about him or herself.

2. Show your Appreciation for others: whenever you appreciate another person for anything that he or she has done or said, you raise that person’s self-esteem and make him or her feel more important. Expressions of 20

appreciation – from small nods and smiles through to cards, letters, and gifts – raise people’s self-esteem and can cause them to like themselves more. As a result, by the law of indirect effort, they will like you more as well.

3. Be Agreeable: The most welcoming people in every situation are those who are generally agreeable and positive with others. On the other hand, argumentative people who question, complain, and disagree are seldom welcomed anywhere. When you nod, smile, and agree with another person when he or she is talking or expressing an opinion, you make that person feel intelligent, respected, valued, and important. When you are agreeable with another person, even if he says something with which you may not be in complete accord, you make that person feel happy to be in your presence. In every case, however, you smiled and agreed, nodding and asking them questions and listening to them express their ideas and opinions.

They go away feeling that they have had a good conversation with the speaker and that he/she probably agrees with them. It costs you nothing and it makes them happy. It makes them feel important.

4. Show your Admiration: people usually invest a lot of personal emotion in their possessions, traits, and accomplishments. When you admire something belonging to another person, it makes him feel happy about himself. As Abraham Lincoln said: “everybody 21

likes compliments”. Express your admiration for people’s appearances and specific items of their clothing or dress. Men are especially complimented when you say something nice about their ties and shoes. Women enjoy being complimented about their hair or any other item of their appearance. People spend a lot of time putting themselves together before they go out.

5. Pay Attention to Others: the most powerful way to raise another person’s self-esteem is to listen to him attentively when he speaks. The key to great listening is for you to ask questions and then hang on every word of the answers. When the person slows down or comes to the end of a statement, ask another question. Lean forward attentively. Listen without interrupting. Listen as though what the person is saying is the smartest and most interesting thing you have ever heard.

6. Never Criticize, Condemn, or Complain about anything, whether it be directly or indirectly. Never do or say anything that lowers a person’s self-esteem or make him feel less important or valuable. Refuse to gossip or negatively discuss other people. Never say anything about a person that you would not say to his face. So never complain needlessly about people or situations that you don’t like. Just be nice. ‘Nice’ is the kindest word to use for people in every field. Whenever you recommend or refer someone to someone else, don’t forget to mention how nice the person is.

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In sales and business, the nicest people are always the most successful. People like to buy from them, buy again and then recommend them to their friends. People enjoy seeing nice people and they look forward to seeing them again.

7. Be Courteous, Concerned, and Considerate of Everyone You Meet: Think of these as “the three Cs” and practice them with everyone you meet.

When you treat someone with courtesy and respect, he or she feels more valued and important, and will in turn value and respect you the more.

When you express concern about things that are happening in a person’s life, he warms up to you and likes you more.

When someone is in a difficult situation and you express your concern or compassion, you touch his heart.

You connect with his emotions. Through this, you make yourself a more likable person.

Consideration is the third of the three Cs. When you practice consideration, you discipline yourself to do and say things to people that make them feel more valued and important.

PRAYER Dear father, I thank you for enlisting me as an end time soul winner, armed with the glorious gospel of Christ. I’m committed to do the urgent spread of the gospel around the world, turning many unto righteousness, by your grace and power at work in me, in Jesus’ Name; Amen.

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(1 Corinthians9 vs 16), “For if I preach the gospel, I have nothing to boast of, for necessity is laid upon me; yes, woe is me if I do not preach the gospel.”

For I have availed myself to spread the gospel to the youth of today for them to know that if you have God you have everything.

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YOUTHFUL CHALLENGES SEVEN THINGS EVIL SPIRITS PIN ON THE YOUTH Ever sat down to eat a meal and a fly landed on your dinner? What was your reaction? Did you shove it away or just thought “well, it is just a little fly.” Never taking the trouble to think of where this insect came from or where it was conceived, you will do all you can to get rid of that fly.

The Bible calls Satan “Beelzebub” and that term means the lord of the flies or dung.

Like flies, he sends his demon forces to attack the darkened areas of our lives and spread his diseases, causing this darkness to putrefy the very core of our hearts.

Just like the attraction between ants and sweets, I have outlined seven major lifestyles demons are attracted to. If you exhibit any of these lifestyles, you can bet evil forces having their way in your life.

I. LUST: The Oxford Dictionary defines lust as a very strong sexual desire, especially when love is not involved or a very strong desire for enjoyment of life. Never be abated to sex or extravagant in life. In all things, be diligent and strong-willed to make life better for yourself. For the Bible says, according to Genesis 4 vs 7, that “If you 25

do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin lies at the door. And its desire is for you but you should rule over it.”

II. UNFORGIVENESS AND BITTERNESS: Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or a group of people who have harmed you, regardless of whether they deserve forgiveness.

Forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go off deeply held negative feelings. That way, it forbids that pain from defining you, enabling you to lead and move on with your life.

Bitterness on the other hand, as defined by the Oxford Dictionary of English, is a feeling of anger and unhappiness because you feel that you have been treated unfairly by someone you dislike. Let us consider Jesus’ response to Peter’s question about forgiveness according Matthew 18 vs. 21-22: “then Peter came to him and said, Lord how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven”. Please read Mark 11vs. 25-26, Matthew 18 vs. 23-35, John 20 vs. 23 and Hebrews 12 vs. 14-15.

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III. HURT AND WOUND: A wound is a serious injury, especially a deep cut through the skin. But things like pride and feelings can also get wounded. Hurt, however is defined as harm, or physical or mental pain.

IV. CONTRACTS AND AGREEMENT: An agreement is any understanding or arrangement reached between two or more parties. A contract is a specific type of agreement that, by its terms and elements, is legally binding and enforceable in a court of law.

V. ANGER: Anger is one of the basic human emotions, as elemental as happiness, sadness, anxiety, or disgust.

These emotions are tied to basic survival and were honed throughout human history. Anger is related to the “fight, flight, or freeze” response of the sympathetic nervous system; it prepares humans to fight. But fighting does not necessarily mean throwing punches; it might motivate communities to combat injustice by changing laws or enforcing new behavioral norms.

Of course, anger too easily or frequently mobilized can undermine relationships and it can be deleterious to bodies in the long term. Prolonged-release of the stress hormones that accompany anger can destroy neurons in areas of the brain associated with judgment and shortterm memory, and weaken the immune system.

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VI. IDOLS: The definition of an idol is a false god or an object that is adored or worshipped. An example of an idol is a rock that people pray to as their God. VII. PRIDE: The Cambridge English Dictionary defines pride as a feeling of pleasure and satisfaction that you get because you or people connected with you have done or got something good. For Example; a. She felt a great sense of pride as she watched him accept the award. b. He felt such pride walking his little daughter down the street c. He shows great pride in his work and has no false modesty about his success.

SOME SYMPTOMS OF PRIDE The following are just a few. i. Ego trip ii. Vanity iii. Self-righteousness iv. Importance v. Intellectualism vi. Driven vii. Argumentative viii.Compellation ix. Rationalization x. Arrogance xi. Haughtiness

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All of the afore mentioned symptoms are notable character traits the youth of today suffer and need refraining from or careful control. Failure to do so may have dire ramifications on our future. Desisting from such vices or being responsible about them is one sure way of securing our future.

Currently, many of our youth, one way or the other, are involved in so many vices either for selfish gain or because of pressure from peers and sometimes the society. Vices such as; i. Smoking ii. Prostitution iii. Armed Robbery iv. Money Rituals v. Fraud vi. Excessive Alcohol intake These vices, among others, are gradually wiping out our once vibrant youth. But I am confident, if we can discipline ourselves by remaining focused, be hard working and God fearing, we can achieve anything.

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CHAPTER

4

INTERPERSONAL INTERACTIONS

WHY PEOPLE LOOK DOWN ON YOU People look down on you because of where you are right now, or what you are going through. But never let that get to you because you are not defined by what people think or say about you.

Just be focused and wait upon the Lord for he will be your provider. There is nothing easy on this earth.

FOUR TYPES OF PEOPLE YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL WITH There are certain people in your life that you cannot do without but must handle them with care. These people have the potential of impacting your life in unimaginable ways: i. Neighbours ii. Institutional leaders iii. Family members iv. Friends

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HOW YOU SHOULD DEAL WITH YOUR FAMILY MEMBERS i. Provide less details ii. Do not share your plans iii. Encourage them

THREE REASONS WHY PEOPLE LOOK DOWN ON YOU In this life, no matter who you are or what you have, you will have haters. This is an undeniable fact. People may hate you for the following reasons: i. You threaten them ii. They hate themselves iii. They want to be like you

SEVEN PEOPLE YOU SHOULD AVOID AS YOUTH These are the people who distract you in life. They look like encouragers but are the very people after your downfall at all times. i. Gossips ii. Jealous haters iii. Time wasters iv. Money grabbers v. Over sensitive people vi. Excuse makers vii. Ignorant people These people are people who distract you in whatever thing you are doing in life they always make sure that they encourage you but at the same time, they will be the very people who will be looking for your downfall at any time.

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1. JEALOUS HATERS: If someone is jealous, they feel

angry or bitter because they think that another person is trying to take a lover or friend, or a possession, away from them. If you are jealous of another person’s possessions or qualities, you feel angry or bitter because you do not have them. There is no industry where you hear talks about haters as often as in entertainment.

Although there are true haters out there, too often, the word hate is used to justify our failures. Truth is, people confuse jealousy and envy with hatred. People who are envious of us, do not hate us, they want what we have, or want to be where we are. But, if you do not address those who are envious of you, their jealousy can ferment into hate.

Haters do not start as haters. Hate has different phases.

Opponents grow into enemies, enemies grow into those who have contempt for you, who then grow to be the true haters. They impose their self-loathing on others.

There is no reason in a true hater. As humans, we make the mistake of thinking we can fix people, that with enough love, even true haters will stop hating. They will not. True haters are sick people.

How do you define a hater? List the qualities of a friend.

Look at that list. Haters do not possess the qualities you seek out in people. Sometimes we have friends that are constantly tearing us apart — no constructive criticism, just negativity. Make that list, see if these so called friends have any of the qualities you would want 33

a friend to have. Sometimes we confuse people who are around us, as friends. Friends do not hate, they honestly critique. Check yourself, do not surround yourself with haters.

Sometimes you hear people say, “You either hate me or you love me.” Hate is not the opposite of love. Love and hate are more closely connected than what we think. They are just different sides of the same coin. When someone hates you, they still deeply care about you. When you are doing good work, someone will love it, not everyone, but someone will. You have gotten worried when no one cared enough to pay attention to you. When people do not love or hate you — when people do not care enough to feel any way about you and what you are doing — that is when you worry. Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.

DEALING WITH JEALOUSY AND HATRED The best way to tell who a hater is: Look at how they treat others and look at their actions. Do not think you are special. If they tear down and disrespect people, they consider friends and then smile in their faces when they come around, do not deceive yourself by thinking they will not be the same with you. I think the hardest thing for us as humans to do is to accept people for exactly who they are. Mrs. Christie Esi Bobobee said, “When someone shows you their true colours, believe them.”

Hatred ultimately destroys the hater. Do not get tricked into thinking that you have to carry the burden of hate.

The psychology of a hater is to impose their self-hate on 34

others. It is not as much about you as it is about them.

Do not take hate personally, because at the end of the day — it just is not. Do not look at hate as a reflection of yourself and your work, but do not use it as a crutch either. Take time to reflect and critique yourself and surround yourself with others who are honest enough to do the same. Now go get you some haters!

2. TIME WASTERS: A person who either consciously or

unconsciously tries to engage you in a fruitless investment of your energy, time, money, or attention. These people can be “takers” or simply object individuals. The truth is that engaging in these types of interactions is an act of time-wasting because you might have something better doing at that time.

3. MONEY GRABBER: Money grabbers are people

who snatch other people’s money. From my point of view, those people are called money grabbers. Clearly something which does not belong to you and you take it in the absence of that person is money-grabbing.

4. OVER-SENSITIVITY: Mr. Ebenezer Arthur, The Regional Stool Lands Officer - Ashanti Region, says that people with sensory processing sensitivity feel more stressed by their work environment than most, but their managers rate them as the best performers. Although too much sensory or social stimulation can overwhelm highly sensitive people and make them stressed and withdrawn, they are conscientious, creative, hardworking, and dedicated individuals. Mr. Aaron Amfo-Adjei, a former 35

Public Education Officer also says that over-sensitive people do not have a meltdown at work because they tend to deal with stress privately, by spending their free time alone to revitalize.

BENEFITS OF OVER SENSITIVE PEOPLE AT WORK Chances are, someone on your team or in your organization is over sensitive. Many managers struggle to see the potential of over-sensitive people because of their quiet, non-confrontational nature, but they can be a great asset to your team. Amfo-Adjei – former Public Education Officer of the Office of the Administrator of Stool Lands, Ashanti Region gives a few things we benefit from over-sensitive people at work: i. Awareness: An over-sensitive person’s sensitivity allows him or her to notice subtleties and distractions in his surroundings. This makes them aware of what works and what does not, both for himself/herself and others. ii. Insightfulness: These individuals are aware of potential “people problems” before they become serious and know how to deal with them. iii. Empathy: Over-sensitive people are often intuitive and empathetic, and they understand people and their motives deeply. This means that they can interpret and resolve interpersonal problems effectively.

Oversensitive people dislike conflict and they care about others’ feelings and needs, which allows them to create harmonious working environments. iv. Conscientiousness: Over-sensitive people tend to 36

be hardworking, careful and vigilant about quality.

They can see the details and the big picture, and they can visualize different possibilities. v. Talented: Over-sensitive people can often be creative, perceptive, excellent communicators, and gifted.

HOW TO MANAGE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE Let us explore six approaches that you can use to motivate your highly sensitive team members, reduce their stress levels, and keep them engaged. i. Accept Them It can be tempting to try to help oversensitive people on your team to overcome their sensitivity. However, this often-used tactic may make them feel ashamed, rejected, inadequate, and increasingly stressed, despite your good intentions.

Oversensitive people are all not the same. They have varying triggers and are therefore sensitive in different ways. For example, loud noises may be unbearable for some, while emotional tension may affect others. So, make sure that you are open, receptive and understanding, and work hard to create and sustain a positive and relaxed workplace culture for your highly sensitive team member. Be careful not to let their quiet demeanor influence your appraisal of their performance.

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ii. Address Sources of Stress Ask your highly sensitive team members what overwhelms or irritates them. For example, feeling irritated by a humming fan, exhausted by long meetings, or upset by office gossip. Try to deal with these problems straight away, rather than dismissing their concerns.

Highly sensitive people care about their work and can be sensitive to criticism, so offer them positive feedback as well as negative. Where possible, let them know that you appreciate their traits, and clearly explain how they benefit the organization. iii. Let Them Work Alone Many over-sensitive people are also introverts, which means that they do their best work alone. So, allow your highly sensitive team members to work on their own wherever possible, and schedule regular breaks for them to recharge during teamwork or group events.

Since over-sensitive people are highly aware of their environment, they tend to feel uncomfortable and perform poorly when you observe them working, micromanage them, or put them on the spot. They may also perceive reminders or “checking in” as a lack of trust. So, give your highly sensitive team member space to work alone, and make it clear that you’re available when they need support.

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iv. Provide a Quiet Place to Work Offer your highly sensitive team member a calm working environment, wherever possible. This could be a quiet part of the office or a conference room, or you could allow them to work from home, if appropriate. They may also appreciate quiet time first thing in the morning to prepare for the day.

Encourage your over-sensitive people to take regular breaks during the day, especially after a group activity, as they may feel overwhelmed. A day of meetings, events, or networking will likely take its toll on a highly sensitive person’s health and wellbeing, so allow them some time to recharge alone between social gatherings.

When you do this, you will likely boost their productivity and allow them to come up with creative ideas and innovations that can benefit your team and organization.

Take Action: Other team members might see your actions as preferential treatment. So make an effort to treat everyone equally and accommodate people’s working and environmental preferences, where possible. v. Give Advance Warning Many over-sensitive people manage overstimulation by preparing or developing routines, plans, and strategies for upcoming events. Whilst you can not 39

always prevent sudden schedule changes, try to give your highly sensitive team members as much notice as possible before meetings or activities. If they do become flustered when last-minute changes occur, give them time to recover their composure.

Take Action: Everyone has their strengths, weaknesses, and needs, and some people require more stimulation in their environment than others. So, ask each of your team members what would make their working environment more comfortable. When you understand each person’s sensitivity level, you can optimize their potential, talents, wellbeing, and performance. vi. Encourage your Over-sensitive People to Take Action In her book, Making Work For The Over-Sensitive Person: Madam Georgina Rockson – Chief Stool Lands Officer, Bono Region – suggests that there are also a few things you can encourage your oversensitive team members to do to help themselves at work. For example, if they are feeling overwhelmed or stressed, you could suggest that they spend a few minutes alone and take some deep breaths. You might also encourage them to take solo walks during their lunch break and to listen to soothing music with earphones. If they learn to become aware of what overwhelms them, they can avoid those triggers or take breaks afterward to get back on track.

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5. IGNORANT PEOPLE: People who represent the word

stupidity. They spout off information with no basis, no facts, and form opinions based on gossip and what is popular and trendy. The ignorant person has opinions on what he/she knows 1% about every story he/she has.

6. GOSSIPS People who enjoy talking about other people and their private lives are gossips.

LET US LOOK AT SOME EXAMPLES I have just been talking to the girls downstairs and I have got some delicious gossip.

Let us go for a coffee - I need to catch up on all the gossip.

There is a lot of gossip about me going around. What have you been saying?

Some magazines contain nothing but scandal and gossip.

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CHAPTER

5

LESSONS THE YOUTH MUST LEARN TEN IMPORTANT LESSONS THE YOUTH MUST LEARN BEFORE AGE 30 It is exciting to be a teenager. In your 20s, sometimes the fun is too much. But guess what? That is life. There are important lessons you must learn before you turn 30 years, if you want to have great years for the rest of your life.

These are the ten major lessons you need to know: i. Make friends with positive people alone. ii. You cannot please everyone. iii. Bad habits will not help you. iv. Learn how to organize. v. Do not take things for granted. vi. Make budget to suit you. vii. Form savings & investment habit. viii.Ask questions; there’s no shame in not knowing. ix. Do not rush into things. x. Life is not always fair.

FIVE MISTAKES MOST YOUNG PEOPLE DO AT THEIR YOUTHFUL AGE AND REGRET LATER IN LIFE If something is too exciting, you can suspect something is probably wrong about it. Adolescence and early adulthood is just too exciting, no wonder most of us make several mistakes at a time like that.

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If you are still young, you will have opportunities to correct some of these mistakes. But if you are above 60 years, that is where you will be sorry for yourself.

These are four major mistakes that we do at our youthful stage; i. Young people spend money anyhow they like. ii. Young people think schooling is enough to get rich. iii. Young people tend to give up so easily. iv. Young people accept whatever and anything they hear

HOW YOUNG PEOPLE THINK AND HOW THEY SPEND THEIR RESOURCES i. Young people invest without research. ii. Young people think that love alone is enough to sustain a relationship. iii. Most young people do not save money for the future. iv. Young people try to please everyone. v. Young people largely blame their parents for their misfortune. vi. Young people forget to have a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Whether young or old, this is the most important proponent to a successful life.

Whether young or old, these are some very important proponents to leading a successful life. i. Delay gratification, do not buy things because everyone is doing so. ii. Learn how to save for investment and retirement purposes.

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iii. Do not believe everything, ask questions, and challenge status quo compatibility. iv. Do not think you are educated because you have a degree, learn every day. v. Try things and do not give up easily. vi. Do not blame your parents or government for your failure to take responsibility.

DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE CONTROLLED BY THESE FIVE THINGS AS YOUTH If you want to live a great life, do not allow yourself to be controlled by any of these things. i. Your past ii. Other people’s opinions & judgments iii. Limited beliefs you project on yourself iv. Relationships v. Money 1. YOUR PAST: Do not allow your past to control your present or your future. Whatever happened, you must let it go. Leave the pain of your past behind so it does not ruin your future. Leave the darkness of your past behind so it cannot block the light of your bright future.

Your past is gone, whatever happened. Whether unjust, cruel, harsh, and whatever the case, reliving the events will never do you any good. If someone did you wrong, the only way you can win is to let go and move on. If you live in hate, they win. If you live in the victim’s story, they win. If you want to win, you must focus on building your future and start right now. Release that weight from your back so you can be free.

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2. Other People’s Opinions and Judgements: Do not allow other people’s opinions and judgments to control the direction of your life. The need to fit in and feel wanted can cause you to travel down paths you do not want to travel. People-pleasing is a curse that should be avoided at all cost. Before you do anything, ask yourself ‘’Am I doing this because of my fear of judgment from others?’’

You were born unique for a reason; you were born to stand out to be appreciated and loved for who you are.

Do not dim your light so you fit into the dull background of other people’s lives. Shine bright so others will see that light and shine with you.

3. Limit Beliefs You Project On Yourself: Do not allow your life to be controlled by your own limited beliefs.

Now a warning with this one. These beliefs may be conscious, but more than likely they are unconscious.

They may be unconscious limitations that have been conditioned in you from a young age and throughout your entire life by listening to those around you who never reached for their dream.

Notice your own limiting beliefs and tell them to shut up. There is nothing you cannot do, cannot have and cannot become if you believe in yourself. If you believe anything is possible, guess what, anything is possible!

When you change your belief from limited to unlimited your potential is unlimited. Imagine what you could achieve if you lived your life as though anything is possible. As the saying goes: ‘’When there is no enemy

within, the enemy outside can do you no harm.’’ When you have nothing inside holding you back, there is nothing outside that can hold you back. Your entire life will change the very moment you decide to change your mindset. The moment you decide to see everything as a gift. .

4. RELATIONSHIP: A touchy subject but one partner does not need the other person to be happy, to feel complete; then the relationship is just moments away from a breakdown if that person leaves you. I am not suggesting you avoid relationships. There is no force on this earth greater than love and connection. I am talking about those who can not live if they are not in a relationship. Those who will be with just about anyone, including all the wrong ones, just to avoid spending a moment being single. What l am saying is, to develop enough mental strength that you do not need others to make you happy. You are just as happy alone as you are in a relationship.

5. MONEY: This is what controls the majority of humans on the planet – Money! Money is an irresistible force.

This does not mean you should not desire abundance.

It does not mean money is evil. You know as well as I do what great things you can do and how many people you can help with money. What this means is, do not allow your decisions to be controlled by money. If you are choosing something based on how much money is involved, you have just made the wrong decision. The 47

secret is that, when you follow your heart, and you lead with good intentions to serve others, always giving your best to others every single time; when you follow your intentions and truly give your soul, money will find its way to you in unimaginable proportions. Money will literally chase after you. So, challenge yourself with the life you want to live. Free yourself from being controlled by anything. Find your freedom to live fully!

SIX THINGS POOR PEOPLE DO THAT THE RICH DO NOT DO • • • • •

•

The poor get paid based on time. The rich get paid based on results.

Poor people blame others for their misfortunes while rich people take responsibility for their failures.

Poor people focus on saving while rich people focus on investing.

Poor people think they know it all while rich people continuously learn.

Poor people believe that money is the root of all evil while rich people believe that poverty is the root of all evil.

Poor people have a lottery mentality while rich people have an action mentality

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CHAPTER

6

LEADERSHIP SKILLS

SEE YOURSELF AS A LEADER Leaders are not born; they are made. They are made just like anything else, through hard work. And that is the price we have to pay to achieve that goal, or other goals.

In the introduction, I expressed the idea that there is a spectrum where, at the very bottom, we find people not having the slightest idea of what is going on and could not care less, while at the very top there are the one percent of people in our society who are spark plugs in the engines of change. Every one of us is on that spectrum somewhere, moving up or down, depending on the things that we are doing and saying daily.

If you want to be a leader or a better leader, remember that it is all up to you. It is in your hands, or even most important, in your mind. You are what you think you are. Your selfimage determines your performance. You can become a much more effective leader by changing your self-concept, the way you think about yourself as a leader.

The purpose of this book is to enable you to become a leader and if you are already a leader, to enable you become a more 49

effective leader. I will do that by describing to you some of the qualities, attributes, and behaviors of the most effective leaders in our society so that you can emulate those qualities and make them your reality.

BE FORWARD THINKING AS A YOUTH Leaders are forward-thinking. Most leaders live in the future. They are continuously focusing their thoughts on the future – what will be and how to create it. Most nonleaders focus on the present and the past. To be forwardthinking means establishing a set of goals and focusing every day on moving toward those goals.

Leaders follow these seven steps in achieving their goals: 1. IDENTIFY YOUR MAJOR GOALS: Decide exactly what you want to achieve, whether it is for your business or your life. Clarity is essential.

2. WRITE IT DOWN: Be specific and detailed. Make it measurable. As an example, your goal might be to double your sale in the next three years. So, write it down. If your goal is not in writing, it is nothing more than a vague fantasy.

3. SET A DEADLINE FOR THE ACHIEVEMENT OF THE GOAL: If it is a big goal, then break it down into pieces and set deadlines for each of those pieces. We are energized by time-specific goals. Give yourself deadlines.

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4. MAKE A LIST OF EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO ACHIEVE EACH MAJOR GOAL: Be comprehensive. As you think of more things, add them to the list until it is complete.

5. CREATE AN ACTION PLAN: This is where you take the list and turn it into specific steps. There are two things to think about: priority and sequence. What items or things to think are important? What must be done first? When setting priorities, remember the 70/30 rule: 30 percent of the things you do will account for 70 percent of your results. You do not want to spend your time on unimportant things. You do not want your people spending time on unimportant things. Identify what is going to help you and your organization to achieve your goals. As for sequence, you have to identify exactly what needs to be done before something else can be done. Any plane is going to have activities that are dependent on certain other activities being done. Also, identify the limitations, constraints, or obstacles that stand in your way. Priority is again important. What are the most important obstacles? What are the things you will need to overcome before you can achieve your goals?

6. TAKE ACTION: Now that you have a plan, and you know the hurdles on the path before you, you must act immediately. There can be no more delays. Many people fail because they do not take action on their goals and plans. Good leaders do not make that mistake.

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7. DO SOMETHING EVERY DAY: When you get up in the morning, plan your day and then do something, anything that moves you toward achieving your goals.

THE QUALITY OF COURAGE IN THE LIFE OF A YOUTH Courage is one of the most important qualities of leadership.

It is courage that causes the leader to launch, and it is also what causes people to rally around the banner of the leader.

Courage, wonderfully enough, can be developed. Courage is not something you are born with, but it is something you can learn.

Courage is something that is a habit. You can develop the habit of courage by practicing it. Whenever you tend to hesitate or back off from a challenge, force yourself to go forward. Always move toward and face the things or people you fear head-on. Every day, you must make it a habit to confront the things you fear, to face the people or situations you fear. Each time you face a fear and conquer it, your courage grows. Eventually, just by continually doing the things you fears you will no longer fear anything.

STAY THE COURSE IN LIFE AS A YOUTH Another mark of courage is the ability to stay the course.

This is often called courageous patience. It is what Mrs. Christie Esi Bobobee (Former Administrator) Office of the Administrator of Stool Lands once told me. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how much tension or stress you face, stay the course, and hang in there. Sometimes, if you stay the course long enough and hard enough, the sun will break through the clouds and things will happen for you.

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DARE TO GO FORWARD FOR YOUR ACHIEVEMENT IN LIFE

Remember that the future belongs to the risk-takers. There is no greatness in life among those who avoid taking risks.

Now, that does not mean that you have to risk your life, limb, and everything you own. It just means that you take calculated risks in the direction of moving forward.

Consider the worst possible outcome and do everything possible to minimize unnecessary risks, but then dare to go forward. Perhaps no other quality distinguishes leaders from non-leaders than the willingness and the dare to push forward.

HOW TO BUILD A STRATEGIC PLAN AS YOUTH

Leaders must have a strategic plan for their organizations.

There are six key questions you must answer to develop an effective plan.

1. Where you are now: Any strategic plan begins with a complete assessment of the company’s situation. If you do not know your current situation, you will not know what steps your company needs to take to achieve its strategic goals. Be specific. For each business unit or product area, determine your sales, profitability, assets trends, and competitive position.

2. How did you get to where you are today: Being honest here is key. What decisions have led to your current situation? What activities are you doing that are important to your current success? What activities are unnecessary to acquire and keep profitable customers?

What activities could be outsourced but are still in the house?

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Where do you want to go from here: Once you have determined where you are today and successfully diffused step 1 & 2, you now must identify where you want to go.

Be focus. Identify, for example, the product to want sell, the customer base you want to sell to, and the financial results you will be achieving in the ideal world fives from now.

3. How do you get from where you are today to where you want to go: Make a list of everything that you would have to do to achieve the ideal future you just described.

Every time you think of a new task, add it to the list.

4. What obstacles will you have to overcome to achieve your strategic plans: Are there constraints and limiting factors that are preventing you from being the ideal company described in your strategic plan?

5. What additional knowledge or resources will you need to achieve your strategic plans or objectives: There are always new core competencies that a company needs to acquire or develop to stay relevant to customers and ahead of its competitors. For example, many companies now have social media experts on their staff.

HOW TO BE SELF- MOTIVATED LEADER AS YOUTH Leaders take responsibility for keeping themselves motivated. They meet this responsibility using three methods. But I would like to explain only one method.

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One of the methods is through their vision. Most real leaders, especially transformational leaders can create the future and of possibilities that nobody has thought of before.

Sometimes true leaders can see the future with crystal clarity while other people around them cannot imagine it at all. Then the leaders go forward and through planning, administering, and organizing, they make their dreams come true.

HARD WORK MAKES YOU A GREAT LEADER Success does not come easy. Leaders are self-motivated to put in the work required to achieve their dreams. These are steps of a great leader: • Leaders work harder: The workplace is not the place to socialize. It is not the place to wander around the internet. Leaders do not waste time when they are in the workplace.

•

Leaders work faster: They are always looking to pick up the space, immediately. They are never satisfied with their speed. They want to get more done faster.

•

Leaders work longer hours: Most leaders are the first ones in the office. And they are often the last to leave.

Just those extra hours a week make a huge difference in their productivity.

•

Leaders are at the top of the pole: They cannot depend on others to motivate them; they have to be self-motivating.

Of course, being a leader is a very motivating experience.

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TREAT OTHER PEOPLE WITH RESPECT Another element of attitude is the way a leader treats others.

People will know how you treat them and will see how you treat their colleagues, their bosses, or even the organization’s customers and partners, and they will follow your example.

Leaders know that if they are rude to a customer, their people will be rude to costumers, and their business will acquire a reputation that will keep customers away. They know that if they do not treat managers with respect and civility, those managers will not treat their subordinates with respect and civility, and the business will acquire a reputation for mistreating employees, which will keep the best people away.

Leaders also know that if they act as yes people to their superiors, such as the board of directors, then they will find themselves surrounded by yes people as well, instead of honest collaborators who will give them the fact they need to help the organization. As a leader, it is up to you to set the right legacy for people to also follow.

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CHAPTER

7

THE MOTIVATIONAL FACTORS CONFIDENCE Confidence is a very tricky little thing. Feeling good about yourself is so easy to put at the will of others when it should only be up to you. The good news is that you are driving this self-assurance train and it is ready to depart from the station.

1. Look the part: If you know that you look like a confident, capable person, eventually you will start to feel like a winner, too. You should dress how you feel best — not what you think confidence is. Try these tricks: Devote a little time each day to personal hygiene and making sure you are presenting yourself well. Shower daily, brush and floss your teeth, and groom your skin and hair.

2. Dress for confidence: You do not have to buy a whole new wardrobe to feel better in your clothes. As long as you are clean, comfortable, and feel good, you are set up for confidence! Remember, you look more confident when you are enjoying what you wear!

3. Be careful not to base your confidence on your outside appearance: Practice wearing clothes that make you feel unconfident for a whole day and try feeling confident without basing it on appearance.

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After all, you would not wear a three-piece suit on a pizza delivery. If you think you look good, odds are you probably do.

4. Perfect your posture: How you carry yourself communicates a lot to other people, so make sure you’re telling them that you’re confident and in-charge. Keep your shoulders back, your spine straight, and your chin high. Walk with purpose instead of dragging your feet, and sit up straight. When you look like a confident person on the outside, you will be approached as one by the world around you.

You will not only fool everyone else - you will fool yourself too. Recent research shows that the positioning of your body cues your mind to feel a certain way - so positioning yourself confidently will make you genuinely feel in charge. And to top it off, having confident body language has been linked to lower levels of stress, too.

5. Smile: Keep your grin in easy reach - you would be surprised how even the smallest of smiles can disarm many a social situation and make everyone feel more comfortable. Research shows that smiling reduces stress hormones in the brain. Can you imagine approaching someone who is scowling? No, thank you.

If you’re worried your smile is fake, keep it small. A fake smile can be spotted from a mile away. On the other hand, if you’re genuinely happy to see them - or just 58

happy for the chance to practice your new confidence skills - flash those pearly white teeth.

6. Make eye contact: It is a subtle change, but it can work wonders on how other people perceive you. Do not be afraid to meet the gaze of someone else; it shows not only that you are a person worthy of communicating with, but it tells them you respect them, acknowledge their presence, and are interested in the conversation.

You would not want to be rude or disrespectful.

Our eyes are uniquely human. They are windows to the soul, and show-case our attention and feelings. By making eye contact, you will improve the quality of your interactions in addition to appearing more confident.

You will come off as more likable and trustworthy and those who converse with you will feel more appreciated.

If you cannot do it for you, do it for them!

7. Have approachable body language: If you see a person huddled in the corner pretending to play games on their mobile phone, are you going to come up and say hello?

Probably not. If you want others to approach you, make sure you are approachable!

8. Keep your body open: If you have your arms and legs crossed, you are telling the world that you are not interested in welcoming them in. Same goes for your face and hands -- if it is clear you are preoccupied with something else (be it a thought or your iPhone), people will take the hint.

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9. Do not be too self-conscious about your body language.

When you start feeling confident, you will naturally start to improve your posture.

10. Hold your gaze: Now that you have gotten the eye contact thing down, it is time to put it into practice.

Did you know that other people are just as shy about eye contact as you are? Try this out: make eye contact with someone and see who lasts longer. Do they avert their gaze before you? See?! They are uncomfortable too! I am not advocating staring someone down. Staring intensely at someone until they feel your gaze and shrink accordingly due to palpable awkwardness is not the goal. The goal is, however, to recognize that other people are just as nervous about you looking at them as you are about them looking at you. If you get caught, just smile and you are off the hook.

START THINKING CONFIDENTLY ABOUT YOURSELF a. Recognize your talents and good qualities and write them down: No matter how down you feel, try to pat yourself on the back a little and remember the things you excel at.

Focusing on your better attributes will distract you from perceived flaws and boost your sense of worth. Think of your good qualities in looks, friendships, talents, and most of all, personality. b. Think back on compliments from other people: What have they told you about you that you otherwise have not noticed or acknowledged? Maybe they have remarked 60

on your smile, or your ability to stay cool and collected in stressful situations. c. Remember past accomplishments: It can be something other people recognized, like being at the top of your class, or something only you know about, like a quiet act of service to make life easier for someone else. Realize how great this was. You go! d. Think about the qualities you try to cultivate: No one is perfect, but if you are actively trying to be honorable, good person, give yourself some credit for the effort.

The fact that you think about bettering yourself at all says that you are humble and good-hearted, and those are positive attributes. e. Now write down everything you can think of and refer to it next time you are feeling down: Add to it as you remember more things you can take pride in doing. f. Think of the obstacles that stand in the way of your confidence: Take a piece of paper and write all the things that you think are keeping you from becoming confident, e.g., bad grades, introversion, not many friends, etc. Now ask yourself this: Is that valid or logical? Or are these just assumptions on my part? The answers are “no” and “yes,” respectively. How in the world does it make sense that one thing determines your self-worth? It does not.

Here is an example: You did not get good grades on your last math test, so as a result, you are not confident when it comes to your next test. But ask yourself this: If you 61

studied hard, worked with the teacher, and prepared for the test, would you do better?! YES. That was just one event and has nothing to do with you. You have zero reasons not to be confident. g. Remember that everyone struggles with confidence: Some people are good at hiding it, but nearly every person has struggled with his or her self-confidence at one point. You are not alone! And if you can think of someone confident, odds are there is a situation they are not confident in. Confidence is rarely universal.

Here is a fact for you: Most people are too preoccupied with how they appear to be constantly judging you. Ever notice how people love talking and looking into things that are even just barely reflective? 99% of people are inwardly focused. Breathe a sigh of relief and recognize that you do not have to be perfect all the time.

Stop comparing yourself with everyone else. Not everything is a competition, and viewing life that way will wear you out. You do not have to be the smartest, prettiest, most popular person to be happy. If you have a strong competitive streak that you cannot completely ignore, try competing with yourself instead and strive to keep getting better. h. See confidence as a process, not a singular achievement: Having confidence is not a finish line you cross once, and the process will not always move forward — there will 62

be days when you feel like you are starting from square one. Take a deep breath, remember the self-confidence hurdles you have already cleared, and resolve to keep going. In the toughest of times, it is good to make it your duty to pat yourself on the back even if you did not do anything. i. Odds are you will not realize you are confident until you are already: Was there a day you realized you were smart, funny, resourceful, or punctual? Probably not. So, if you do not see immediate changes, know that it is just because you are too close to the painting. Cannot see the forest through the trees type of thing. You get it. j. Tap into that confidence that you were born with: it is there, it is just buried under years of exposure to praise, threats, and perceived judgments. Take everyone else out of the picture they do not matter. They have nothing to do with you. “You” is good. “You” exists apart from any other judgment. k. Get out of your head: A lack of confidence has nothing to do with the external world, so you have to get out of your head. If you catch yourself having an inner dialogue, just stop. The world is swirling around you -swirl with it. The only moment that exists is now. Do not you want to be a part of it?

So much of the world exists outside your head we are going with the assumption that reality is as it seems.

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takes you out of the moment. Practice not thinking about the past or the future. Concentrate on what is in front of you -- there is probably something exciting about it.

HOW TO PRACTICE CONFIDENCE AS YOUTH 1. Embrace your interests: If there is a sport or hobby you have always wanted to be good at, now is the time! Improving your skills will reinforce that you are talented, and subsequently boost your confidence. Learn a musical instrument or a foreign language, take up an art like painting, start building projects—whatever it is that catches your interest.

2. Do not get discouraged if you are not immediately awesome: Remember that learning is a process, and you are in it for the small victories and the relaxing recreation time, not to be the best.

3. Take up a hobby you can do with a group: Finding likeminded people who share your interests can be an easy way to make friends and build confidence. Look around your community for groups you can join, or find kinship with fellow hobbyists.

4. Talk to strangers: Straight up, confidence is more than just a state of mind -- it is a habit. That is all humans are. So, to be confident, you have to do confident things.

One of those is making conversation with strangers. It is intimidating at first, but with each time you will be more and more unfazed.

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5. You do not have opportunities, hub? How about the barrister at your coffee shop? The girl at the check-out counter of your grocery store? Random strangers you pass on the street? No, that will not creep strangers out unless you are a smelly. If someone says, “Hey!” smiles at you, and asks you whether they should go to Starbucks or Coffee Bean, how are you going to feel? Probably good. Everybody likes to be the hero, talk to other people, and be spontaneous. You are just brightening up their otherwise dull day.

6. Do not over-apologize: Being able to say you are sorry is a good trait and something too many people struggle with. However, be careful to say it only when necessary. Apologizing when you are slighted or have inconvenienced someone is polite. a. Apologizing when you have not done anything wrong, though can make you feel subordinate and like you should be sorry. b. Before it slips out of your mouth, take a second to make sure this is a situation that needs an apology from you. c. Use workarounds. You can express your sympathy or regret without actually apologizing. For instance, if you are worried about inconveniencing someone, you could say “I hope this has not been too much trouble” instead of automatically reverting to “I am sorry.”

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d. Apologizing needlessly makes you seem unsure of yourself. That does not make sense because you are inferior to no one. Why apologize if you did not do anything wrong? After all, do you mean it? And if you apologize all the time, it loses value. Being sorry for everything means you are sorry for nothing.

Think of “I am sorry” like “I love you.” It should only be said with care.

7. Accept compliments gracefully: Do not just roll your eyes and shrug it off — own it! You deserve it! Make eye contact, smile, and say “thank you.” Being nice about it when someone else wants to compliment you does not compromise your humility; it shows that you are polite and have a secure sense of self-worth.

Pay a compliment in return. If you are still uncomfortable taking compliments, try giving one back after you have accepted. This can help you feel like the score is even and you have not been too proud.

8. Build your confidence by helping others: Take time to pay someone else a compliment, or do an unannounced good deed. You will brighten their day, and you will feel better about yourself. When you become a source for positivity, others will seek to be around you, bolstering the good vibes.

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Lots of people are not good at receiving compliments.

Odds are if you give someone one, they will respond with one in turn. Just make sure you mean it or they might respond skeptically -- “Hey, I like that shirt you are wearing. Was it made in China?” might not get the best response.

9. Drop those who bring you down: It is hard to be confident among a group of people you feel are constantly judging you. You could naturally be the most extroverted, loud, self-assured person, but with these people, you turn into a puppy dog that has not been cared for well enough.

Those people need to be dropped like a bad habit, and now.

You must surround yourself with others who make you feel you are the best version of yourself there could be.

It is only around these people that you will be able to make the growth you want to (and can!) make.

10. Expect success: A lot of life is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

When we think we have failed, we do not try as hard.

When we think we are not good enough, we often act not well enough. If you expect success, you may just draw it out. Pessimism can undermine your capabilities.

Right now, you are probably saying, I am no accurate predictor of the future! Expecting success is not logical “- were you not pushing logic just a second ago?!” Well, yes, but think of it this way: you often expect failure, 67

so why not expect success? They are both possible circumstances and in most cases, one is not more likely than the other.

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT RATHER THAN WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT Take risks. Sometimes the only way out is through the hard way. Sometimes to get good at life, you may have gotten experienced encounters that forced you to learn. You cannot be awesome at it right off the bat. If you keep doing what you have always done, you will never get better at anything.

Failure is inevitable. It always happens and it does not matter, the only part that matters is that you get back up.

Everyone experiences setbacks, but not everyone gets back up. It is the getting up that builds confidence, and you have got to fail in the first place to do so.

Go out of your comfort zone to help you learn from experiences and grow more confident.

HOW TO BE CONFIDENT AS A YOUTH Here are some tips for us (youth) to know how to talk with confidence. Being cocky and being confident are two very different things. Being cocky is not good; being confident is.

Know the line.

Do not devote your life’s mission to being confident. You must do things that make you happy. In happiness, you will find confidence.

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Being confident is not being perfect. Perfectionists tend to be more self-critical rather than confident. The tips are: i. SPEAK POSITIVELY: When you hear yourself saying something negative about yourself, instantly replace it with a positive comment. ii. You are the only one who truly knows you. Love yourself and others may follow suit. iii. BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE: A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it is emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence. iv. STOP BEING A PERFECTIONIST: Nothing and no one is perfect. High standards have their place, but your daily life is going to have pitfalls and flaws. Accept them as learning experiences and move on. v. SEND POSITIVE TEXT MESSAGES TO YOURSELF: Try to believe that someone else is sending you these texts; it will build your confidence level instantly.

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vi. Imagine yourself in various situations where you display confidence, wit, or leadership. By simply picturing yourself doing such things, being self-confident becomes less of a foreign concept and you begin to believe that you can. vii. RETRAIN YOUR INNER VOICE: In situations where you believe you lack confidence, realize that your inner voice is telling you negative things. You need to retrain that inner voice to be positive at those times. viii. EVERY DAY, MAKE A LIST IN YOUR HEAD OF EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF: Say thank you silently in your head for each thing on your list. ix. M A K E GOALS FOR YOU R SEL F, NOT E X P EC TAT IONS: One must be deliberate when planing his/her life. Make specific achievable goals and do not leave things to chance. x. REMEMBER TO LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST: Who knows when it might end? Who cares what other people think as long as you’re thinking positive and feeling good? xi. Every time you pass a mirror or a reflection of yourself, compliment yourself in your mind. Keep this up until you see the compliment as a fact about yourself. When you wake up in the morning, look into the mirror and 70

tell yourself that you have made it this far in life and you are not going to let anything or anyone put you down. xii. Sometimes people will say mean things because they are jealous of you! Remember to smile and enjoy life.

Consider attending leadership classes. Learn to take control of things. If you are in school, then consider running for a social position, such as a president of a club. The ability to lead others and respond to others’ behavior under your leadership will help to bring you self-confidence. xiii. When you are feeling bad about yourself, imagine one of your friends feeling the way you are. Take a piece of paper and write down what you would say to the person to help them feel better. Put that piece of paper in a safe spot, then when you are feeling down you can grab it and read it to yourself. xiv. Eye contact is very important, as it shows your confidence. xv. Try not to slouch, it makes you look closed off and very insecure. It also represents vulnerability. It makes you look very uninviting and unhappy and you do not want that if you want to show people that you are confident. xvi. Think positive. Think about all of the good things about yourself and how lucky you are compared to others. Embrace your differences and learn to accept that 71

you are different and that is what makes you unique. xvii. If you want to be confident, do not let anything bother you; drain out everything that gets under your skin and keep on walking. Do not be afraid of being judged. Sometimes it can hold you back. xviii. Talk to people you do not get to know much. This can help you make contact with the outside world more. xix. You can learn to be strong, to push on through failures. You can stand up tall, take deep breaths and remember that you are in charge of what you feel. Like, if you are struggling to lift something, you can slow down, take a few deep breaths, and remember that your struggles will soon all pass. Then, you focus, take a deep breath, and push and push and push over and over again until you finally do it. xx. If you ever hear your inner voice telling you something negative, pretend it is your old self telling you that. xxi. If you start thinking negatively, turn the voice off, and have a positive statement pre-pared to play repeatedly in your head until you get out of it. xxii. Treat yourself the way you wish to be treated by others. So, you see, it pays to be positive about yourself so people will treat you in like manner.

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SEVEN STEPS TO BECOME A BETTER LEADER 1. FOLLOW LEADERS WHO YOU LOOK UP TO: There is no better way to learn how to do something than to find someone else who you admire and who does that thing well.

There is an endless number of amazing leaders out there, but it comes down to what type of leader you want to be.

So while I could share a list of leaders who you might follow, your list is likely going to look different.

TAKE ACTION: Pick out 2, 3 or even 4 leaders who you admire – either for their speaking abilities, their expertise in a particular industry or niche, their ability to teach others who can learn from their mistakes – and read their articles, follow their speaking engagements, and check out their presence on social media and within online communities.

As you start to follow these leaders, notice how they present themselves, how they teach, and how they communicate.

You will soon find that leaders have an effective way of getting out there and being seen and heard, and that is great news for you because it means you can learn from them.

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2. PRACTICE THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE: If you know you want to become a better leader, then you probably already know many of the things required of you. But there is a reason you have not taken action on those things: you are scared.

I have been there, and I know it is not easy to get out of your comfort zone. I also know that practicing – taking one step at a time – will get you to where you want to go.

So, what do you practice exactly? Well, that ultimately depends on what type of leader you want to be, but you can start by: Practicing to become a better speaker, building stronger relationships, taking yourself out of your comfort zone TAKE ACTION: Start practicing the things that make you uncomfortable with a mentor or friend. Before you know it, you will not only become better at doing these things, but you might grow to like them!

Anything that makes you uncomfortable will make you stronger and more confident after you have achieved it, and building confidence is necessary to become a great leader.

3. TELL YOURSELF EVERY DAY THAT YOU ARE A LEADER AND BELIEVE IT! It is easy to tell yourself all the things you are not: you’re not good enough at this, or strong enough at that… It 74

becomes comforting to know the things you are not, because it means you cannot fail at those things. If you already know you cannot do it, then it will not be a surprise when you do not.

LISTEN UP: If you want to become a better leader, you have to believe that you are a leader and start acting like one.

TAKE ACTION: Look at yourself in the mirror every morning, and tell yourself out loud that you are a leader.

Follow that up with one thing you will do today to start acting like one.

4. LEARN SOMETHING NEW ABOUT YOUR EXPERTISE, INDUSTRY OR NICHE EVERY DAY: I do not care what expertise you have, or what industry or niche you are in; in the online world, things are changing by the minute.

To maintain your leadership level and your expertise – your ability to teach people things that will keep them from making the same mistakes you have, and that will help them get to where they want to go – you have to stay on top of the changes that are happening around you.

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TAKE ACTION: Do keyword searches for words and phrases that are trending in your world.

Then, find relevant articles, writers, and publications who keep up with the latest and greatest and add them to Feely, or whatever platform you use to track your favorite feeds.

5. GATHER RESOURCES YOU USE AND THAT YOU WOULD RECOMMEND TO OTHERS: If you are seen as an authority figure by others, then you better believe you are the one they will be looking to for resources and advice.

This is why it is important to have a collection of resources you have not only used and believe in, but that you also feel strongly about recommending to others.

TAKE ACTION: Every time you use a new resource or tool, take notes on your experience. Once you have a strong list of 5 resources or more that you know your followers can benefit from, create a resources page on your site.

NOT E : Your credibility depends on these recommendations, so choose wisely 6. READ MORE: In addition to following leaders who you look up to, and learning something new about your expertise, industry, or niche every day, it is also important to read. Business books abound, proven and recommended by today’s top entrepreneurs.

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And in every one of these business books, you will be introduced to new strategies, new ideas, new resources, and new inspiration.

KEEP YOUR MIND AT WORK. TAKE ACTION: Make a list of the top 5 business books you want to read, and set a date that you want to have them finished by. Hold yourself accountable to that date.

7. BUILD AND GROW YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: Building and growing relationships will no doubt help you become a better leader, because the more connected you are, and the more people you have to bounce ideas off from and share feedback with, the better off you will be. I cannot think of a single leader who went at it alone.

STRONG LEADERS CONSISTENTLY CREDIT THEIR SUCCESS TO HAVING i. Support and motivation, ii. Accountability, iii. A community or mastermind they can turn to for feedback TAKE ACTION: Write down the names of 10 people who you feel that – either by building or growing upon your relationship – both of you would benefit.

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REACH OUT TO THOSE PEOPLE AND CONNECT If they are in your geographical area, then try to set a time to meet for coffee. If they are not in your geographical area, then send them a note and ask how things are going with their business, and whether or not there is anything you can do to help.

Also, ask whether they are planning to attend any upcoming conferences or events, and try to connect with them in person if you will be in the same place at the same time.

Building and growing relationships takes time and energy; commit to it.

WHAT DOES BECOMING A BETTER LEADER MEANS? Becoming a better leader means: • Consistently growing your knowledge and expertise in whatever industry or niche you are in; • Being willing and able to share your insights with those around you; • Being good at not only sharing your expertise and insights, but also at teaching others how to apply that knowledge so they do not make the same mistakes; and • Being someone, your followers view as an authority and someone they can trust.

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CHAPTER

8

LEAD BY EXAMPLE

WHEN YOU DO NOT LEAD BY EXAMPLE AS A YOUTH We have seen just how powerful it can be to lead by example.

But what happens when you do not follow this rule? How does your team feel when you tell them to do one thing, and then you do the exact opposite?

As indicated earlier, if this has ever happened to you, then it should not be hard for you to remember how angry and disappointed you were.

When leaders do not “practice what they preach,” it can be almost impossible for a team to work together successfully.

How can anyone trust a leader who talks about one thing, but does another?

Consider what might have happened if he had, even one time, been in a physical fight with his opposition. His important message of nonviolent protest would probably have been much harder to believe after that. His followers would have looked at him with suspicion and distrust. The chances of them getting into physical arguments or committing acts of violence probably would have increased dramatically.

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Do you think that Alexander the Great’s soldiers would have fought so hard for him if he had sat on top of a hill, safe from the battle? Probably not. He would have been just another average general in our history books, instead of the example of a successful leader that we know today.

And so it is with your team. If you say one thing and do another, they are likely not to follow you enthusiastically.

Why should they? Everything you tell them after that may be met with suspicion and doubt. They may not trust that you are doing the right thing, or that you know what you are talking about. They may no longer believe in you.

Good leaders push their people forward with excitement, inspiration, trust, and vision. If you lead a team that does not trust you, productivity will drop. Enthusiasm may disappear, the vision you are trying so hard to make happen may lose its appeal, all because your team does not trust you anymore.

KEY POINTS Good leadership takes strength of character and a firm commitment to do the right thing, at the right time, for the right reason. This means doing what you say when you say it. If your team cannot trust you, you will probably never lead them to greatness.

Leading – and living – by example is not as hard as it sounds.

It is the easiest path. If your team knows that you will also do whatever you expect from them, they will likely work hard to help you achieve your goal.

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Mahatma Gandhi and Alexander the Great helped change the world because they lived by example – and, as a result, they accomplished great things.

APPLY THIS TO YOUR LIFE AS YOUTH If you ask a co-worker to do something, make sure you would be willing to do it yourself.

If you implement new rules for the office, then follow those rules just as closely as you expect everyone else to follow them. For example, if the new rule is “no personal calls at work,” then do not talk to your spouse at work. You will be seen as dishonest, and your staff may become angry and start disobeying you.

Look closely at your behavior. If you criticize people for interrupting, but you constantly do it yourself, you need to fix it. Yes, you want people to pay attention to one another and listen to all viewpoints, so demonstrate that yourself.

If in the spirit of goodwill, you make a rule for everyone to leave the office at 5:00 p.m., then you need to do it too. If you stay late to get more work done, your team may feel guilty and start staying late too, which can destroy the whole purpose of the rule. The same is true for something like a lunch break – if you want your team to take a full hour to rest and relax, then you need to do it too.

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HOW DO YOU LEAD BY EXAMPLE IN THE WORKPLACE? Why is it important to lead by example?

What kind of leader leads by example? What is a good example of leadership?

HERE ARE SEVEN WAYS TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE AND INSPIRE YOUR TEAM. i. Get your hands dirty. Do the work and know your trade ii. Watch what you say. iii. Respect the chain of command. iv. Listen to the team. v. Take responsibility. vi. Let the team do their thing. vii. Take care of yourself.

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO LEAD BY EXAMPLE AS A YOUTH? Leaders set the direction by helping others see what lies ahead and rising to the challenge. They see everyone’s potential and encourage and inspire those around them.

Leading by example is a trait of a true leader. Leaders must lead with their actions as well as their words.

WHAT KIND OF LEADER LEADS BY EXAMPLE AS YOUTH? Good leadership is not something that just happens.

It requires many competencies such as decisiveness, motivation, and the ability to lead by example.

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WHAT ARE THE LEADERSHIP SKILLS AS YOUTH? Leadership skills are skills you use when organizing other people to reach a shared goal. Whether you are in a management position or leading a project, leadership skills require you to motivate others to complete a series of tasks, often according to a schedule. Leadership is not just one skill but rather a combination of several different skills working together.

SOME EXAMPLES OF SKILLS THAT MAKE A STRONG LEADER INCLUDE: • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Patience Empathy Active listening Reliability Dependability Creativity Positivity Effective feedback Timely communication Team building Flexibility Risk-taking Ability to teach and mentor

WHY ARE LEADERSHIP SKILLS IMPORTANT? Effective leaders are essential to any organization. They can help build strong teams within a business and ensure projects, initiatives, or other work functions are performed successfully. Because the skills of a leader involve multiple 83

interpersonal and communication skills, anyone can exercise and hone their leadership abilities.

Most people have seen the results of both effective and ineffective leaders on the job. Good leaders increase employee engagement, support a positive environment, and help remove obstacles for their team. Good leadership is also contagious, inspiring colleagues to apply positive leadership traits in their work.

LEADERSHIP SKILLS: DEFINITIONS AND EXAMPLES Leadership skills can help you in all aspects of your career, from applying for jobs to seeking career advancement. It is one of the very soft skills that employers value. Leadership skills often incorporate several different personality traits and communication abilities that are useful for anyone to learn and practice over time.

Knowing the definitions of leadership skills and seeing relevant examples can be exceptionally helpful when you are writing your resume. If you are applying for jobs that require you to take initiatives and be a leader—whether as a manager or among your peers—you should list leadership skills on your resume.

SIX LEADERSHIP SKILLS YOU MUST KNOW Almost any positive soft skill might be considered a leadership skill. For example, active listening helps leaders bring projects to completion by hearing the ideas and concerns of the team. Empathy, for example, helps leaders 84

understand how their team feels about their workload, environment, and workplace relationships.

Here is a list of must-have leadership skills that may prove valuable to anyone applying for work or looking to advance in a career:

1. DECISIVENESS

Effective leaders are those who can make decisions quickly with the information they have. Effective decision-making comes with time and experience. As you become more familiar with your specific industry, you will be able to make decisions faster, even when you do not have all of the necessary information. Decisiveness is seen as a valuable leadership skill because it can help move projects along faster and improve efficiency.

2. INTEGRITY Integrity is often seen as just truthfulness or honesty but, in many cases, it also means having and standing by a set of strong values. Integrity in the workplace often means being able to make ethical choices and helping the company maintain a positive image. All businesses seek to hire workers who have a strong sense of integrity.

3. RELATIONSHIP BUILDING (OR TEAM BUILDING) Leadership requires the ability to build and maintain a strong and collaborative team of individuals working toward the same goal. Team building requires other leadership strengths, like effective communication skills and conflict resolution.

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4. PROBLEM-SOLVING Good leaders are skilled at solving issues that arise on the job. Effective problem solving often requires staying calm and identifying a step-by-step solution. Problemsolving skills can help leaders make quick decisions, resolve obstacles with their team and external teams alike, and ensure projects are completed on time, according to the specifications.

5. DEPENDABILITY Being a dependable leader means that people can trust and rely on you. A dependable person follows through on plans and keeps promises. Strong relationships built by a dependable leader create a resilient team that can work through difficulties that may arise.

6. ABILITY TO TEACH AND MENTOR One of the skills that differentiate leadership from many other competencies is the ability to teach and mentor.

Effectively teaching colleagues or direct reports on how to grow in their careers helps organizations scale.

Often, this skill requires that leaders think less about themselves and more about how to make their team as a whole successful.

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS You can practice good leadership skills in any role, at any level. For example, showing up on time to meetings and turning in work on schedule shows dependability. Offering support and coaching to less experienced colleagues is also 86

an example of leadership. If it seems like a good fit for you, you might consider seeking out leadership roles to develop and practice your leadership skills.

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES OF ADDITIONAL WAYS YOU CAN DEVELOP YOUR LEADERSHIP SKILLS • IDENTIFY YOUR LEADERSHIP STYLE While you will use different styles of leadership for different occasions, identifying your leadership style can help you refine specific skills that will be effective for your team or project. You might use your team or project goals to help identify what leadership styles will be most effective for you.

• FIND RESOURCES LIKE BOOKS OR PODCASTS ABOUT LEADERSHIP A self-study on leadership may help you get a better understanding of how to develop your leadership skills.

Many books on the subject exist, including the 1937 Dale Carnegie book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, which has been a favorite among many business leaders for decades. There are also many podcasts and video workshops you can find offered at no cost online.

• PARTICIPATE IN LEADERSHIP TRAINING COURSES OR WORKSHOPS You can find both in-person and online courses that help teach leadership skills. In-person courses, in particular, often include practice sessions and role play.

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• FIND LEADERSHIP ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF WORK If you have trouble finding leadership opportunities on the job, you may be able to find them outside of your workplace. This can include taking the lead in organizing activities or work outings with your colleagues.

• STUDY LEADERSHIP STYLES YOU ADMIRE VERY WELL AS YOUTH When you see leaders you admire, whether they are at your job or in your community, take note of the specific qualities they have that make them a great leader. Focus on ways you can develop those qualities and apply them to your work. It might also be helpful to set specific goals toward developing one practice at a time.

• FIND A MENTOR The best way to learn is by studying under those you admire most. If possible, ask a leader you respect to mentor you on a weekly or monthly basis. They can help you set goals toward becoming a better leader by developing skills and using them.

HOW TO HIGHLIGHT LEADERSHIP SKILLS WHEN APPLYING FOR JOBS If being a leader is one of your career goals, you should include leadership skills on your resume. Try incorporating key traits you possess that may be valuable to future employers.

You may be able to present those skills in different areas of your resume, such as the skills and achievements sections 88

as well as in the experience section. Your cover letter is also a good place to showcase leadership ability.

THE IMPORTANCE OF LEADING BY EXAMPLE AS YOUTH Leadership qualities are natural for some people and learning for others. Leadership is the process by which an individual influences the behaviors, attitudes, and thoughts of others. Leaders set the direction by helping others see what lies ahead and rising to the challenges. They see everyone’s potential and encourage and inspire those around them.

Leading by example is a trait of a true leader. A group of individuals with poor leadership will quickly degenerate into conflict because everyone sees things differently and will naturally lean toward different solutions.

ETHICS Leaders can guide nations or businesses in either a positive or negative direction. For example, Adolf Hitler had strong leadership skills but put them to horrible use. By contrast, the head of a charitable organization can use the same type of leadership skills to guide the group to help others. Ethics is a key element of leadership. They are the inner compass that motivates and directs a leader toward what is good and fair, and ethics help guide leaders in using their skills for noble purposes.

LEADING BY ACTION Leaders must lead with their actions as well as their words.

Leaders can effectively translate intention into reality by acting on the concepts and messages they teach and the 89

things they say to those around them. Leadership is the act of setting the right example for those who follow. Leadership is about actively demonstrating your belief, not just talking about it. People who say one thing but do another eventually lose credibility.

STANDARD BY EXAMPLE Leaders’ actions set an unspoken standard about what is appropriate and what is not. Followers learn about acceptable behaviors through observation. For example, a leader can consciously or unconsciously set the dress code for an office by wearing a certain style of clothing to work. That is why it is significant for leaders to check their behaviors and lifestyles; followers will watch, learn, and imitate what leaders do.

HIGHER STANDARD For an organization to grow, the people within it also must grow. The way for leaders to bring a team to a higher standard is by committing to a greater challenge themselves.

The abilities, talents, and characteristics of leaders provide a larger foundation on which those around them can grow, both as individuals and as a group. By being the example of greater discipline and greater drive, a leader encourages those who follow him to adopt a higher standard as well.

GOOD LISTENERS SHARE THESE CHARACTERISTICS: • •

They pay attention to the person who is speaking.

They keep eye contact.

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• •

• •

They show interest by nodding or by smiling at appropriate times.

They make sure that they understand what has been said by repeating it in their own words. For example, a good listener might say, “Do you mean that...”

They let the other person finish his or her thoughts without interrupting.

They ask questions if anything is not clear when the speaker has finished.

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9

COMMUNITY Q&A

THESE ARE SOME QUESTIONS FROM THE COMMUNITY WHERE I LIVE Question: How can I be confident with weight?

Expert Answer: (Licensed Professional Counselor, Mrs. Lady Evangelist C. Nanapain Akosua Amankwa-Arhin, Onua FM) Try to accept your weight rather than neglect it. You cannot fool yourself. Instead, try writing down the things you like about yourself and focus on those while accepting your current weight.

Question: How do I stop putting myself down so much so I can be confident?

Community Answer: Monitor your internal dialogue. Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend or family member. In other words, give yourself respect.

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Question: How do I feel better about myself when I feel like everyone around me is prettier, faster, smarter or whatever than me?

Community Answer: Remember that everyone has flaws. Even if someone is pretty, fast, or smart, that person may be having a tough time too even though outwardly they make it look like life is a breeze.

Question: How can I stay confident in front of jealous or mean-spirited people?

Community Answer: Jealous people lack confidence themselves, and they’re trying to get a reaction out of you that brings you down to their level. Cut them out of your life if you can, and “kill them with kindness” if you can not.

Question: How can I win people with my newfound confidence?

Community Answer: Walk proudly and smile like everybody is happy and excited to see your changes. But always remember to be humble.

Question: What if my friends let me down?

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Community Answer: Talk to them about how you feel. If they keep letting you down, let them go and find new friends. It may be hard now, but in the long run, you will be a lot happier without them bringing you down.

Question: How can I become confident enough that I do not worry about people talking about me behind my back?

Community Answer: Just be confident. Do not worry about what other people have to say - let them talk because you know exactly what you do and do not do.

Question: When I make eye contact with people, they always look somewhere else on my face. What do I do? It is hard making eye contact when people do not focus on my eyes. It messes with my confidence.

Community Answer: Do not worry, a lot of people do that as they are not always comfortable with eye contact, or you may be looking at them too long, too intensely. Remember that the eyes are windows to the soul and others may feel uncomfortable looking at them straight in the eye. If people do not look at you straight in the eyes, they’re probably just uncomfortable doing it. If you are staring too much, then look away now and then, to give them some space.

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Question: When I am talking to someone or a group, sometimes I get a mental block or I lose my train of thought. How do I stop doing this so I can sound more confident?

Community Answer: This may well occur because you probably think about the thoughts the other person has for you instead of concentrating on the task of conversing. Stop worrying about what the other person is thinking and instead, think positively and be your true self. Focus most on ensuring the other person’s comfort and your comfort will occur as a result.

Just remember that every person in that group is an individual and that you are speaking to them as such. When you talk eye to eye with someone, you want them to hear what you say, to understand what you say. The difference when talking in a large group is that you’re now addressing a bunch of individuals, gathered in front of you and you’re still talking person to person.

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CONCLUSION The reason we need good and effective leadership so badly in our lives, homes, workplaces, and in anything we do for a living is because the people living and working in today’s world are far more difficult, complex and demanding than there was before.

Without the courage and confidence to exercise honest and result-oriented leadership, grabbing the bull by the horn and taking up challenging pursuits, one will continue to feel inadequate, battling with insecurity and ending up unproductive.

Positioning ourselves the best way possible through discipline, hard work and faith in God, draws our planned and well worked future to the fore and shines more light on our dreams so it is well appreciated by all.

No matter how rugged, stressful or incomprehensible the road may lead, I encourage you to Never Look Down on Yourself, for you are more capable than you ever give yourself credit for.

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THANK YOU FOR READING THIS BOOK

REFERENCE Brain Tracy, Earn What You Really Worth, Vanguard Press, 2012 Joseph Kyei Ankrah, Dream Big But Start Small, Bridge of Hope Ltd. Kumasi, 2018 https://danlok.com(retrieved 13/06/2020) https://lesbrown.com (retrieved 13/06/2020) https://www.briantracy.com (retrieved 13/06/2020) https://www.youtube.com/user/ModelingTheMasters?pbjreload=101 (retrieved 13/06/2020)

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PROSPER’S YOUTH

PYF FOUNDATION

This book will be a blessing to anybody who reads and understands the knowledge in it very well, and all of his/her desires shall be granted in Jesus’ Name.

This book is written by Prosper Buenortey Afloe I work as an excutive officer at the office of the administrator of stool lands Ashanti Region, Kumasi Regional Office, Adum – Danyame around 4th gardens, Ridge Kumasi, Opposite National Communication Authority Email: prosperafloe42@gmail.com TEL: 0540861551 PHONE: 0247904205 MOBILE: 0247082906

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