The Lifeworld of Adopted Children

The Lifeworld of Adopted Children

Copyright © 2022 by The Education University of Hong Kong.

A l rights reserved No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without the permiss on from the pub isher.

Pub isher: Department of Social Sciences, The Educat on Univers ty of Hong Kong

F rst pub ished in November 2022.

Pub ished and printed n Hong Kong.

ISBN 978-988-76430-2-9

Principal Investigator - Dr. Anita Chan Kit-wa

Dr. Anita Chan is Associate Professor n the Department of Socia Sciences at relat ons, educational inequal t es and family changes. Anita enjoys us ng in-depth interviewing to understand peop e’s v ews on gender identit es, family relations and socia changes She is the co-ed tor of Gender perspectives n education: Empirica research into school ng processes and The mak ng of gender identit es: Education and persona development

Co-investigator - Dr. Diana Kwok Kan

Dr. D ana Kwok is Assoc ate Professor n the Department of Specia Educat on and Counse ling at EdUHK. She s a registered soc a worker, approved counse ling superv sor, and a certified sex therap st/supervisor Her research pro ects most y focused on sexual/transgender prejudice, life exper ences of sexua and gender diverse individuals (LGBTQIPA+), rights-based sexua ity educat on, and cultural competence of professionals.

Research Assistant - Tevin Fang Shu-han

Tev n s a research assistant n the Department of Social Sciences at EdUHK She has a master’s degree in Socio ogy Her research interests cover gender, fami y, and work.

Project Manager & Typesetting - Leung Ho-yin

Ho Yin is a curator / researcher based n Hong Kong H s practices revolve around concepts of nter-generat on and mult -discip ine H s curatorial projects nclude ‘Yau Lok Ng Goi’ (West Kow oon Young Fe lows Scheme 2020) and etc

Artwork & Design - Jennifer Poon Hiu-ying

Born and raised n Hong Kong, Jenn fer graduated from the Chinese University of Hong Kong majoring in F ne Arts. She enjoys making co ourful paper col ages by cutt ng out shapes and forms from magazines and colour papers to te l oyful stories She was selected to be one of the final sts at ‘First Smash 5 Art Project in 2018 Her work had exhibited in Hong Kong, Vancouver and Bierum.

appear in the existing l terature. This ‘absence might not be intentional or related to discrimination, but seems to reflect or reinforce the public’s limited understanding of this family type.

A few years ago, my col eague Diana (also an adopt ve mother) and I chanced upon this ‘ nvisibil ty’ of adopt ve fami ies and decided to rect fy this gap. We were gratefu to have rece ved a grant from the Research Grants Counc l. W th the help of Mother’s Choice, Po Leung Kuk and some adopt ve fami ies, we completed the first qual tat ve study on Chinese adoptive fam lies in Hong Kong and were ab e to produce th s p cture book.

This s not a usual picture book; t has no fictional characters and the contents are based on the ived exper ences of thirteen adopted children. It focuses on chi dren’s family ifeworld, including their daily exper ences, mundane activities and key relationships. Reflect ng Hong Kong s un que context, the book is bi ingual, with some Cantonese expressions reta ned to capture the voice and tone of our chi d nterv ewees Apart from using col ages to create ovely and colourful il ustrat ons, photos taken by the ch ldren are also included to augment the r authentic experiences Through the lens of everyday lifeworld, we hope to i luminate both the similarit es and differences in the fam ly exper ences between adopted and non-adopted ch ldren. We also hope that the book can inspire readers to think about the following quest ons: What s fami y? Who is your fam ly?

What does it take to be a family?

We come to ‘The Lifewor d of Adopted Chi dren !

Before read ng, we would like to invite you to consider the following questio

Do you know any adoptive famil es?

Do you have any friends who are adopted children?

Are there any d fferences between adopted and non-adopted children? What are the differences?

This picture book s about the lived experiences of adopted children. You wi l soon learn about their family lifewor d as follows:

Adopted ch ldren like to engage n various act vities with their parents, includ ng board games, reading, wa king, exercising, chatt ng, hugging, shopping, watching TV, binge-watching Korean movies, p aying electronic games, etc.

They like their family members, who nclude mum, dad, grannies, s blings, cats and dogs

They care about the r family members. To express their care, they do housework, send text messages, and offer help when necessary. Yet, they sometimes also disagree with family members over issues related to homework, TV watching and d sc pl ning

You may wonder why their experiences seem so ordinary, tr vial and unimpressive. Indeed, the fam ly experiences of adopted children are pretty sim lar to those of non-adopted ch ldren, which are made up of mundane activities, love and care, aughter and shar ng, as well as nagging and quarrell ng.

However, there are some differences between adopted and non-adopted children:

Adopted famil es celebrate not only birthdays, but also the Adoption Day.

Adopted children are sometimes bu lied by people who don’t understand adopt on.

They are thankful for having a family

They think love, rather than blood-ties, are what makes a fami y.

Dear Reader, who is your family? What binds your fam ly together?

I am Leah. I am six years old.

My parents adopted me when I was only four months old.

I like playing poker and with robots and toy cars.

My mind is full of funny but strange ideas.

I laugh a lot and Mum says I am a cheerful kid!

I enjoy playing poker with my parents. I am very good at it, so I teach Mum and Dad how to play!

I am Gary.

I’m 10 years old and I became part of this family when I was five months old.

I like to play soccer and read comics and novels, and my favorite food is salmon!

Sometimes I don’t want to do homework so Mum says I like to day dream.

I love to visit Grandma.

I play video games, work on my exercise books, and practice Chinese calligraphy at her place.

I receive red packets every year on my birthday.

I keep a portion to buy things that I like, and Mum and Dad help me save the rest in the bank.

My name is Jade and I am 10 years old.

My parents adopted me when I was about a year old.

I have an adopted dog named Cheese.

I like to sing, draw, and play board games and with Legos.

I don’t want to grow up because there are a lot more things to do when you’re an adult.

We like to walk Cheese together.

I love Cheese but it was not easy to adopt him.

Mum said I could learn more about love with Cheese. She also tells me that Cheese and I are very much alike.

Q:

We are both very kind, healthy, and cute.

Jade likes her desk very much where she puts some toys on.

We like to sit together to read books. However, we only read our own books, or two of us read one book and the other reads another book.

I don’t like this.

I wish we could read the same book together, but Mum and Dad said it would be too difficult to do so.

I am Amy.

I came to this family when I was about two years old, and now I am 11.

I like drawing and playing Chinese checkers.

My favorite food is candy!

I like to make friends and I have many friends at school.

I miss them a lot when I don’t get to see them.

When I do someth

Dad will ask me to

Aw! I don’t like wr

My parents and sister usually buy me gifts at Christmas, but I don’t buy things for them.

I hand-make stuff for them or help with the housework instead. This is also a kind of gift, isn’t it?

My name is Kate. I am 11 years old.

I became my parents’ child when I was five years old.

I like to play games with Mum and ride bikes with Dad.

I don’t like the dark but I feel safe when my parents are both at home. I help with the housework.

It’s important that family members help each other.

I help with the dishes.

I also cooked for Mum when she had a toothache.

I put ice on her face and patted her head. Oh, I also showed her Mr. Bean, so she could forget her pain.

I love to hug my parents.

Mum says I hang on to her like a coat hanger!

My name is Sarah and I am 11 years old. I came to this family when I was six months old.

I love to draw and to play tennis and golf.

I am a big fan of Harry Potter. I want to live in a place where it snows. I feel happy every day and, even if something upsets me, it won’t last long.

Mum is a superwoman and she fixes all my problems.

If my charger breaks, I ask Mum for help.

When I can’t find my books, Mum can easily loca them. She can always find stuff that I have lost.

Every time I arrive at school, I use WhatsApp to send Mum a sticker to tell her that I am safe.

I am Timmy and I am 11 years old.

I’ve been a member of this family for six years.

I have many toys and I like to play Monopoly, but I always lose to my parents.

I like to play music on the CD player and Dad buys me many CDs I am just an ordinary kid.

My parents love me and I love them.

Before my parents officially adopted me, they took me out for meals and to play.

There was one time when they sent me back to the foster home and I hid behind a pillar in the lobby. I kept my head down and remained silent. When Auntie arrived and my parents hugged me, I sobbed. I was sad. I did not want to say goodbye. I wanted to go home with them right away.

I like to play a one-minute game called 'unknotting', where I need to try very hard to break away from Dad’s arms But Dad is so strong that I always fail to get out from his hu

I don’t like chocolate cake anymore, but Mum and Dad still buy it for me on my birthday. Alas, they should have listened to me!

I am Joe.

I came to this home when I was two months old and now

I am 12 years old.

I like to read comic books, play board games with Mum and Dad, and have my cousins come over!

I am a happy kid, but I hate doing homework. Homework always makes Mum and me unhappy.

I like my cousin very much and I wish he could come over more o We play games, draw pictures, read books, eat together, and share the same bed. It is so much fun to be with him! He knows a lot of my secrets!

My name is Emma and I am 14 years old.

My parents adopted me when I was a year old.

I have a little sister, Nia, and a little brother, Joseph. I like Nia. We understand each other and we like to listen to music and dance together.

As for Joseph... He always makes me angry! But, if he doesn’t annoy me, I still like to play games with him.

My family always plays UNO and other card games together.

I am Joseph. I am seven years old now.

My parents adopted me when I was a year old.

I have two older sisters, Emma and Nia.

When I am bored, I bug my sisters.

I want them to play with me.

I am glad that Mum and Dad also adopted Joseph.

Joseph keeps bugg

Every year, we celebrate the ann

We have two more ic Yum!

MIKE

My name is Mike.

I am now 16 and my parents adopted me when I was five months old.

I enjoy being alone sometimes.

I think the best family relationship involves being close while having boundaries.

I like to watch TV with Mum.

Dad likes different shows, so I play soccer with him.

I can talk about anything with Mum and Dad, even if we don’t share the same views.

mise is a 16 years old boy

When I was in primary school, I told a classmate that I was adopted. He threatened me and tried to make me buy him stuff or else he said he would disclose my background to the rest of our classmates. Mum later found out and asked the teacher for help.

I think adoption is a great thing, because it gives a child a home and a good life. Everyone should have the opportunity to have a home.

Adoptive families are no different from other families, since family is defined by love and commitment not just by blood.

My name is Keith and I am 17 years old. I became part of this family when I was four years old. Mum and I both like photography and watching movies, and sometimes we go hiking and shopping together. I feel very lucky to be Mum’s child. Oh yes, we adopted two puppies too!

I feel very close to Mum when we talk about photography and appreciate each other’s pictures.

I love stuffed toys

and they are precious parts of my childhood memorie

Mum still asks me if I would like a stuffed toy as a Chr

Last year, I asked for a TV box as a Christmas gift.

Now, Mum does not have to watch movies on her iPh

This is better for her eyes.

I think adoption is meaningful.

I once wondered about what would have happened if Mum had not adopted me, and if no one else had adopted me either...

Would I still be alive now?

I’m Sophia and I’m 17 years old. My parents adopted me when I was three months old.

I love Korean dramas and my parents always watch with me.

Mum and Dad write me a birthday card every year. My parents are my protectors. They will always support me, no matter what happens.

Although I study abroad, Mum and I talk on the phone every day and we share things with each other. The time zone differences and the distance do not make us strangers.

facetime Hello

I love Grandma and we went on cruises together when I was little.

At one point, I didn’t want to study abroad, because I couldn’t bear only seeing Grandma once a year.

It doesn’t bother me that we are not linked by blood. In fact, blood-ties are not necessary to forming a family. Couples and lovers are not blood-related, but they still love each other very much.

Love makes a family

We wou d l ke to thank the adopted children and their parents who took would not have been poss ble without the r participation.

We would also l ke to thank the Research Grants Counc l for funding the research project (Remaking Chinese Families: Narratives and Practices of Adoptive Families in Hong Kong, 18613419), and The Diversity, Equity and Social Inclus on Research Group (DESI) and the Department of Social Sciences of The Education University of Hong Kong for the r kind financial support to th s picture book production

Finally, we were grateful to our fami y members and fr ends for their va uable suggestions to the early drafts of this picture book