Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

Sybil James - 29th May, 1931 - 17th Oct, 2022

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

Sybil James A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

This short book is dedicated to the legacy of our beloved Mother

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

Introduction

A

fter the death of our father, Felix Joseph, during the week following his funeral, I sat in the family's living room with our mother, Sybil James, to make a recording of her life story on my phone. I recorded her words, for it was her long-cherished wish to write a book about her life, to leave a legacy that would resonate with generations to come.

Through the lens of her own experiences, her story is a testament to the indomitable human spirit. It's a story of triumph over adversity, of love in the face of loss, and of an unwavering commitment to family. Hers is a life story marked by lessons learned and wisdom earned—lessons she always shared willingly with us. She was not only our mother but also our guide, our anchor, and our endless source of inspiration.

Sybil had a unique ability to turn hardship into opportunity, to transform challenges into stepping stones toward a brighter future. Her life was not without its share of struggles and sacrifices, but it was always underscored by unwavering hope and a relentless drive to provide for her family.

But her story is not only a narrative of personal triumph; it is also a reflection of the values she held dear. Her devotion to family, her commitment to hard work, and her unwavering faith in the power of kindness have left an indelible mark on each of us.

As we embark on this journey through Sybil's life, we invite you, our readers, to be part of a special tribute. In her own voice, it is our goal to continue to celebrate her legacy through the Sybilix Fund, a testament to her financial acumen and her boundless generosity. It's our way of honoring the woman who, even in her final days, asked me in the presence of my sisters, "Reynold, what about the Sybilix fund...Is it dead?" Our promise to her was unwavering: we will make the vision a reality.

Join us as we embark on this poignant journey—a journey that not only tells the story of one remarkable woman but also imparts invaluable lessons in resilience, determination, and the enduring power of love. Sybil's voice may have stilled, but her spirit lives on, guiding us through the pages of her extraordinary life.

Reynold James

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

B e anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7 Her favorate screpture verse

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

Preface

In

the vast tapestry of life there are stories that stand out as beacons of inspiration and wisdom. They are stories that transcend the boundaries of time and circumstance, leaving an indelible mark on those fortunate enough to encounter them. The story we are about to embark on is one such remarkable tale—a story that reverberates with the strength of the human spirit, the power of resilience, and the unwavering capacity for love and compassion.

This is the story of Sybil James.

Sybil James was not a household name in the conventional sense, nor did she seek fame or fortune. Her life unfolded in the quiet corners of the world, far from the spotlight of acclaim.

Yet, her life was extraordinary, her journey awe-inspiring, and her legacy enduring. For those who knew her, her name evokes feelings of reverence and admiration, for her life was a testament to the extraordinary impact one person can have on the lives of many.

In these pages, we will embark on a profound and moving journey—a journey that traverses the landscapes of adversity and triumph, sacrifice and selflessness, and the enduring bonds of family and community. We will explore the life of Sybil James, guided by her own words, her wisdom, and the voices of those she touched.

Born into a world filled with challenges, Sybil's early years were marked by hardship and struggle. Yet, it was precisely these early trials that would forge the strength and resilience that would define her life. Through unwavering determination and unwavering faith, she carved a path for herself and her children, navigating the tumultuous currents of life with grace and courage.

As we journey through her life, we will bear witness to the moments of joy and sorrow, the laughter and tears, and the invaluable lessons she imparted. Sybil James's story is a reflection of the triumph of the human spirit, the profound importance of familial bonds, and the transformative power of love, generosity, and compassion.

This book is more than a memoir; it is a tribute to a life well-lived, a celebration of a mother's love, and a testament to the enduring impact one person can have on the lives of many. It is a testament to the belief that even in the face of adversity, we can find strength and inspiration.

As we embark on this poignant journey through the life of Sybil James, we invite you to join us in honoring her memory, reflecting on her wisdom, and drawing from the wellspring of her experiences. Her legacy lives on not only in the hearts and minds of her loved ones but also in the Sybilix Fund—a living testament to her enduring spirit of giving.

May her story inspire us all to embrace life's challenges, cherish our loved ones, and leave a legacy of love and kindness for generations to come.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

01. Early Childhood Recollections

M

y name is Sybil James, and I was born in Sangre Grande, located in the serene northeast of Trinidad and Tobago, in a small village known as Vega De Oropouche. I came into this world as the third of seven children, surrounded by the warm embrace of family.

My family comprised two boys and five girls, starting with my eldest brother, Sidroy, followed by Aileen, then myself, Signer, Uriah, Gloria, and my youngest brother, Everest, who, tragically, lost his ability to hear and speak due to a severe ear infection that struck him at the tender age of three.

Our family's financial circumstances were far from affluent, and the weight of raising all of us became a burden that our parents couldn't bear. Consequently, they made the heartwrenching decision to send me away to live with my aunt, who resided in Preysal Couva. It was within my aunt's home that I spent my formative years, under the loving care of a woman named Christiana James. Later, she get married, becoming Christiana Joseph, but her love for me remained unwavering.

Yet, life took unexpected turns, as it so often does. My aunt's marriage faced its share of challenges, and during one tumultuous period they had a break up, and she decided to send me to my other aunt, Aunty Lynn. It was under Aunty Lynn's roof that I was finally taken on a journey to visit and reunited with my mother, a momentous occasion that filled my heart with boundless joy.

My early years had been a blur, for I was a mere four-year-old when I left home. I had but faint memories of my mother before my aunt took me in. One particular recollection did stand out—a memory of my mother returning home one day. I vividly remember the excitement bubbling within me as I sprinted toward her, the path leading to our humble abode seeming longer than ever. But in the midst of my eager sprint, tragedy struck. My older brother, keen on impressing our mother with his diligent chores, was industriously wielding a hand-held swiper to clear the yard. Unbeknownst to me, I ventured too close, and in an inadvertent moment, I felt the sting of a cutlass blade cut my foot as i ran to meet mother.

That cutlass, wielded with care by my well-meaning brother, left its mark on me. My attention had been fixated solely on the approaching figure of my mother, unaware of the peril that lurked in my path. It was a testament to my brother's dedication, his desire to make our home a welcoming for our mother's return.

As I reflect on those fleeting memories, they remain like fragments of a distant dream. I cannot recall the moments before or after that encounter, nor can I recollect the daily routines my mother undertook within the home. However, I held onto the profound sense of love that emerged from the shadows of my early years, a love that would guide me through the tumultuous journey of life.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

02. Childhood Memories of living with my aunty

I

n the midst of the intricate dance between my aunt and uncle's stormy relationship, there was an underlying rhythm to our days. My aunt, stern and unyielding, was as serious as they come, while my uncle, a man of few words, exuded a quiet calmness. Although their bond was fragile, they always found their way back to each other. For my aunt, I was the child she never bore, a surrogate of sorts, yet her love found expression in her strict and unsmiling demeanor.

One of my earliest memories in that household was the persistent eczema that plagued my young legs. Tiny buttons of rash speckled my skin from just below my knees to just above my ankles. My aunt's remedy was a regimen of homemade medicine, mixed with salts and purging agents. Each morning, she would pour this concoction into a wine glass, and I would dutifully drink it. As time passed, my blood ran cleaner, and the stubborn eczema began to heal. Yet, the legacy of those remedies remained with me in the form of varicose veins that would mark my feet for years to come. Yes, the medicine, her stern care, and those daily rituals played a role in shaping my early years.

Another memory etched into my consciousness was the path to Chickland Government School. It lay a considerable distance away, but resourceful children from our neighborhood had carved out a shortcut through the cocoa fields. They took me along that route just once.

The journey involved crossing a precarious bridge that spanned a ravine, riddled with holes.

To traverse it safely, we had to leap from hole to hole, risking a fall into the abyss below. A safer alternative was wading through the water beneath the bridge, but my companions favored the daring path above. I embarked on that adventure just once, and it left an indelible impression.

Soon after, they decided that the risks outweighed the rewards, and I began attending the Preysal Canadian Mission School, a place of learning owned by the church and the center of education for our locality. I started when I was five years old, escorted by my aunt who had been my steadfast guardian since I was four. Over the course of eight years, I continued my education there until I reached the age of thirteen.

During those school days, I forged a deep and lasting friendship with Rhoda, a kindred spirit who became my confidant in the journey of life. However, life had other plans for us. My uncle received a promotion, elevating him to the position of overseer or manager of a larger cocoa estate. Our world was about to change once again. We said our goodbyes to Preysal Couva, for our new destination lay in Santa Cruz, where a fresh chapter of our lives awaited in the estate house of his new appointment.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

03. A New Life as a Teenager in Santa Cruz

O

ur journey to Santa Cruz was a lengthy one, taking us from the familiar surroundings of Preysal to the mid-northern section of our country. The house in Santa Cruz was considerably larger, and my heart swelled with pride because my uncle had become the boss of the estate. It seemed as though the world looked up to us now, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of importance in our new surroundings.

Upon our arrival, I eagerly approached my aunt, inquiring about my future in education.

However, her initial response was met with silence. It wasn't until a week had passed that I mustered the courage to ask again. To my dismay, her answer was far from what I had hoped for. She firmly stated that I would not be returning to school. I couldn't contain my tears and pleaded with her, asking why she was making this decision. In her anger, she simply declared that it was final. My heart sank as I grappled with the realization that my dreams of completing my education were slipping away.

At just thirteen years old, I appeared much older and more mature than my age. It later came to light that it was my Indian friend, Rhoda, who had influenced my aunt's decision not to send me back to school before we left Preysal. This revelation left me heartbroken, and as a result, I never had the opportunity to attend the Santa Cruz school, despite being eligible to do so. It was a deep wound that would remain with me throughout the years.

Our new abode was called Pipiol Trace, where we resided. Sadly, I never had the chance to attend school there. I had left school at the tender age of thirteen due to our move from Preysal, and the burden of unfulfilled dreams weighed heavily on my young heart. My aunt may have deprived me of an education, but she never deprived me of self-respect. She made certain I always looked presentable, ensuring my clothes were neatly ironed and my hair impeccably combed. She instilled in me a sense of pride in how I carried myself, in the way I walked, dressed, and dined. In society, they were esteemed figures, largely due to my uncle's position as the chief overseer.

I recall the occasions when she sent me to the local shop with a list in hand. The journey required me to traverse a desolate cocoa field road, which could be rather intimidating for a young girl. Nevertheless, I embarked on those solitary walks, and upon reaching the shop, I'd hand over the list. I never had to bring the groceries home; someone would come to collect them. The path was lonely, and it wasn't long before a group of boys began to walk me back. It was a situation fraught with vulnerability and uncertainty.

As time passed, those boys took a keen interest in me, persistently accompanying me on my walks home. I had little control over their advances, and it was on that desolate road that I found my first boyfriend. Yes, boyfriends came and went, each offering to escort me, but I often felt powerless and at their mercy.

My stay with my aunt was prolonged, as she informed me that my uncle was overseeing the propagation station in Santa Cruz, where cocoa plants were cultivated. He held a higher Page 10

Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity A New Life as a Teenager in Santa Cruz cont.

position than the foremen, with the title of overseer, and they lived in a handsome house on the estate. However, their relationship was far from harmonious. I once witnessed a physical altercation between them, though my uncle remained silent throughout their quarrels. It was my aunt who unleashed her fury in their disputes. Their home was not a happy one, and I became a frequent target for her anger, subjected to undeserved beatings. I often wondered if her frustrations were channeled toward me because I was not her biological daughter. The arbitrary lashings were inflicted for the slightest reasons, leaving me feeling helpless and vulnerable. The thought of running away crossed my mind countless times during those difficult years.

The unprovoked beatings became a grim routine, and my often pondering escape as a means of liberation from the oppressive atmosphere became stronger. Yet, despite the hardships, my spirit remained unbroken. I clung to my dreams of education, silently vowing that my own children would never suffer the same fate. In the midst of adversity, I forged a resilience that would guide me through thoes challenging days of my adolescence in Santa Cruz.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

04. Journeying Back to My Mother

M

y years with my aunt were marked by a peculiar mix of affection and hardship. Even during my time in Preysal, from the tender age of four to thirteen, she wielded discipline with a heavy hand, subjecting me to frequent beatings for even the slightest transgressions.

Yet, in the midst of her sternness, I harbored no hatred towards her. I never uttered unkind words or showed disrespect. Instead, I regarded her with a mix of respect and caution.

As we settled into our new life in Santa Cruz, my aunt's physical discipline ceased, but her propensity for quarreling remained relentless. She seemed to find reasons to argue about almost anything, creating an atmosphere of perpetual discord. As I grew older, I found it increasingly difficult to endure the ceaseless quarreling, and eventually, I reached a breaking point.

One day, unable to bear the constant strife any longer, I made the bold decision to run away.

My destination was crystal clear in my mind—I was going back to my mother, whose whereabouts I knew from my time spent with Aunty Lynn. My departure was not fueled by anger or resentment; it was born out of a deep desire for peace.

I'm not entirely certain where I found the money for my journey, but it's possible my uncle provided it. With the meager funds in hand, I embarked on the journey back to my true family, leaving behind the grandeur of the overseer's house to embrace a more humble existence. The reunion with my family was a source of immense joy, especially as I was reunited with my little brother and my other siblings. My elder sister had already embarked on married life and resided in San Juan, while my other sisters found amusement in my "proper" manners, learned under my aunt's tutelage.

My father, whom we affectionately called "Daddy," regarded me with a touch of seriousness for having left my aunt's care. He didn't quite approve of my decision to run away. Life, however, had its own plans for me, and I soon found myself in search of employment to help support both myself and my family.

In those days, the train system ran from Sangre Grande to Port of Spain, the capital city. I purchased a ticket and journeyed to Port of Spain in pursuit of a job, eventually securing a position in a sweets factory known as Eastmoor. The daily commute on the train became my routine, and I moved in with my sister and her family since she resided closer to town.

It was during this time that I received news of my uncle's passing in Santa Cruz. This news prompted me to visit my aunt once again, this time during the wake before his burial. My sister lived on the route that led to Santa Cruz, making it convenient for me to reach there.

Though she accompanied me, my aunt and I exchanged few words during our reunion.

Perhaps she wished for my return, now that she was alone, yet her pride prevented her from expressing it. The unspoken tension hung in the air, a reminder of the complexities of our shared history.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity Journeying Back to My Mother cont.

Over time, my aunt's demeanor shifted, as if softened by the passage of years and the changing circumstances of our lives. While she had once been an imposing figure in my upbringing, she now showed a glimmer of understanding. It became apparent that she, too, had experienced her share of hardships and disappointments.

As the years unfolded, my relationship with my aunt took on a new dimension, marked by mutual respect and a shared understanding of life's complexities. We may not have been able to rewrite the past, but we could forge a new connection in the present. Our conversations became more meaningful, filled with the wisdom that can only come from the passage of time.

In the end, my return to Santa Cruz symbolized more than just a visit to pay respects; it marked a chapter of reconciliation and healing. Life had taken us on separate paths, but our shared history had woven our fates together inextricably. It was a reminder that even in the face of adversity, there is room for growth, forgiveness, and understanding.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

05. A Life on the Move

M

y journey through life continued to be marked by a series of transitions, as I moved from one place to another, seeking stability and a sense of belonging. After leaving my aunt's house, I found temporary refuge with my elder sister, Aileen, who was married to Mr. Corby. However, it wasn't long before I sensed that I couldn't stay with her for an extended period.

The allure of the bustling town drew me in, and I began to spend more time there.

Eventually, I moved in with my father's brother, Uncle William, who had his own home.

Yet, this arrangement, too, proved to be short-lived. My uncle's wife, a Spanish woman, harbored a disliking for me, though the reasons remained a mystery. Despite my job in Port of Spain, the strained relationship with my uncle's wife made it untenable for me to continue living there.

Leaving my uncle's home marked the beginning of a challenging phase in my life.

Unfortunately, I lost my job shortly after moving out. I found myself at a crossroads, uncertain of what to do next. In my uncertainty, I returned to my sister's home for a brief period.

During this time, I was involved with two different boyfriends. One of them was the brother of my sister's husband, part of a quartet of brothers. However, my heart still held a special place for the boyfriend from Santa Cruz, whom I cherished more than the others. A visit to Santa Cruz to see him led to an unexpected confrontation upon my return. The Corby brother, angry and possessive, pursued me, eventually catching up to me on a hilltop. His jealousy erupted into violence as he slapped me across the face, leaving me no choice but to leave my sister's home once again, to escape the abusive relationship.

In search of a reprieve, I returned to my uncle's home, attempting to find a sanctuary from the tumultuous relationships that had marked this period of my life. Unfortunately, my uncle's wife proved to be no more accommodating than before, and I once again moved out.

My life had become a series of shifts and transitions, leaving me feeling vulnerable and restless. Despite the challenges, I remained determined and resilient, never giving up on my pursuit of a better life. I secured another job in Port of Spain, but the lack of a stable living arrangement continued to complicate my daily routine. Sometimes, I would spend nights with my mother, traveling from Sangre Grande to Port of Spain each day for work. To make the daily commute more affordable, I purchased a monthly train ticket, which the conductor would split until it was used up, lasting for the entirety of the month. This period was marked by hustle and difficulty, a time of constant movement and uncertainty As the years passed, I continued to grapple with the challenges of shifting between different living arrangements and relationships. It was a period marked by resilience, as I navigated through the complexities of young adulthood and the intricacies of human relationships.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity A Life on the Move cont.

Despite the hurdles and hardships, the experience taught me valuable lessons about independence, determination, and the importance of maintaining one's sense of self amid life's uncertainties. It was a chapter in my life that would ultimately shape the person I would become.

Throughout it all, my unwavering commitment to my dreams and my enduring spirit kept me moving forward. I refused to be defined by the challenges I faced, and I held fast to the belief that better days were ahead. The struggles of those years would serve as the foundation for the strength and resilience that would carry me through the rest of my life.

As I reflect on those turbulent times, I am reminded that it is often in the face of adversity that we discover our truest selves and find the inner strength with the help of God to persevere. My journey was far from easy, but it was a journey that would ultimately lead me to a place of stability, contentment, and fulfillment..

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

06. The Challenges of Motherhood

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he passage into adulthood was a tumultuous time filled with unexpected challenges and life-altering decisions. I had found a new boyfriend, and what began as a simple romance soon transformed my life in ways I could never have anticipated. I learned the profound impact a relationship could have when, without my permission or knowledge, I discovered that I was pregnant.

News of my pregnancy reached my father, and his disappointment was palpable. In his anger, he told me not to return home. It was a painful and heart-wrenching moment, feeling rejected by my own father when I needed support the most. In my vulnerable state, I sought refuge with my sister, but I knew I couldn't stay there indefinitely.

I found myself in a difficult situation, forced to rent a small room not far from my sister's home. The room was even smaller due to the necessity of sharing it with a neighbor to afford the rent. Unfortunately, this arrangement led to trouble, and I was eventually compelled to give up the room.

As my child's birth approached, I returned home to my parents, but my desire for independence and a job remained strong. I needed a way to support my child, and I couldn't rely on my family alone. His name was Dunbar Michael James, a name filled with hope and promise. While his father and I did not continue our relationship after the pregnancy, I refused to let it define my future.

Living at home with my father presented its own set of challenges. My sister Ura offered assistance in caring for my son, allowing me to tend to my responsibilities. However, I knew that I needed to find work to provide for my child.

Dunbar's father arranged for me to move to Siparia to live with his grandmother, who would help care for our child while I searched for employment. It was a daunting decision, as I would be leaving behind everything and everyone I knew, venturing into the unknown with just my son by my side. The journey to Siparia was filled with uncertainty, but my love for my child propelled me forward.

Upon my arrival at Siparia station, I scanned the crowd for an elderly lady who would be waiting for a young woman with a child. When our eyes met, I knew I had made one of the most significant decisions of my life. It was a courageous step into a new and unfamiliar world, a testament to the depth of my love for my son and my determination to provide him with the best possible life. I was just 19 years old when he was born, and I was ready to face the challenges of motherhood head-on.

Despite the challenges, I was grateful for the opportunity to seek employment and support myself and my son. I knew that in this new life, my independence was vital, and I needed to secure a stable source of income.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity The Challenges of Motherhood cont.

My days were filled with job hunting, often in unfamiliar surroundings, as I searched for work inan area where I had no prior connections. It was a period of perseverance and resilience, as I faced the uncertainty of job searching and the setbacks of some rejections The decision to leave behind the familiar and embark on this new journey was a testament to my resilience and determination. It was a reminder that even in the face of uncertainty and adversity, the love for one's child can inspire remarkable courage and strength. And so, my life in Siparia marked the beginning of a new chapter, one in which I would continue to be my strive for a brighter future.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

07. A Heartbreaking Separation

L

ife in Siparia continued to had its share of challenges and adjustments, yet I was determined to persevere for the sake of my son, Dunbar. Living with Dunbar's grandmother initially provided some stability, but it was clear that my journey had only just begun.

As I settled into this countryside setting, I felt a sense of déjà vu, reminiscent of Sangre Grande. I knew that my main goal was to secure employment to support my child, and I soon found a job as a sleep-in maid for expatriate workers in the oil field. My place of employment was located in Beach Camp, within the community of Sobo Village in Palo Seco.

However, what transpired next would be one of the most heartbreaking and regrettable experiences of my life. After leaving Dunbar in the care of his grandmother, as we had agreed, I was shocked to discover that she had decided not to return my child to me. She had taken him from me, and my world crumbled.

It was a devastating blow, as I felt helpless and powerless in the face of this unimaginable situation. While I appreciated her willingness to help me initially, I couldn't fathom the idea of losing my own child. The pain of being separated from him was unbearable, and I questioned why this was happening to me.

I struggled with the decision made by Dunbar's grandmother, feeling that she had taken away my child without my consent or understanding. While I knew that she believed it was in the best interest of my son, I couldn't accept that I had been deprived of my own flesh and blood.

This separation would go on to define a significant portion of my life, as my son was taken back to Port of Spain, and I was left with a void that seemed impossible to fill. For over 30 years, I had no contact with my son, and our lives took separate paths.

When we finally reunited, it was as if we were strangers. My son had grown into a man, married, and had his own family. The scars of our separation ran deep, and he struggled to trust me, feeling that I had abandoned him.

This chapter in my life was marked by the profound loss of my son and the painful consequences of a decision made by another. It was a reminder that life could be both cruel and unpredictable, but it also underscored the enduring love and determination that would continue to shape my journey.

Reuniting with my son after over 30 years was a bittersweet moment, marked by a mixture of joy, regret, and the complexities of a relationship that had been severed for far too long.

It was a journey of healing, forgiveness, and the gradual rebuilding of bonds that time and distance had strained.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity A Heartbreaking Separation cont.

As we stood face to face, it was evident that our lives had taken vastly different paths. My son, Dunbar, had become a husband and a father, with a family of his own. His experiences had shaped him into the person he had become, and the wounds of our separation still lingered in his heart.

I understood his apprehension and hesitance to trust me again, for he had lived a lifetime without the presence of his mother. I felt a profound sense of guilt for the pain and uncertainty he had endured during our separation. It was a regret that weighed heavily on my heart.

Our reunion was not without its challenges, as we navigated the complex emotions and the unspoken questions that lingered between us. I yearned to bridge the gap that had formed between us over the years, to understand the man my son had become, and to share in the joys and triumphs of his life.

Over time, we began the process of rebuilding our relationship, one conversation and one shared moment at a time. We learned to navigate the delicate balance between our past and our present, slowly letting go of the pain of our separation and embracing the possibility of a renewed connection.

Our relationship blossomed as we worked together to heal the wounds of the past and build a future based on trust, understanding, and acceptance. It was a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the enduring power of a mother's love.

Our story serves as a reminder that even in the face of adversity and the challenges of life, the bonds of family can be rekindled, and love has the capacity to bridge even the widest of divides. Our journey was a testament to the strength of the human heart, and it marked the beginning of a new chapter in both of our lives, one defined by forgiveness, reconciliation, and the enduring love between a mother and her son.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

08. Meeting Felix and the start of a new family

M

y life took another turn when I met Felix while on my way to find employment at Beach Camp in Sobo Village. Little did I know that this chance encounter would mark the beginning of a new chapter in my life, filled with both challenges and blessings.

As fate would have it, on that day when I set out to secure a job, Felix passed me riding a stationary bike with no fender; he was going in the opposite direction, and when he saw me walking, he was staring at me but I was not looking at him, so when he passed me and I look back, he was also still looking at me, and he immediately turned the bike around and spin back, and came to try to chat with me. It seems he recognized that I was new in the area. I normally walk very fast, so he rode slowly along with me the whole road on the way to beach camp, talking with me. So before I got the job, it seems I got a boyfriend, so that is how I met Felix.

Our initial encounter was the beginning of a budding romance, and Felix would visit me every evening after work. We spent countless hours together, forging a connection that seemed destined to grow stronger.

However, as our relationship deepened, I was unaware of the ulterior motives that lurked beneath the surface. One evening, when I returned to my quarters after a long day of work, I was shocked to find Felix waiting for me in my room. It seemed that he had entered without my permission, and I couldn't fathom how he had circumvented the security field police in the area.

To my surprise, he had brought groceries, a gesture of kindness that only added to my confusion. Rather than reporting the intrusion, I allowed him to stay the night, unknowingly setting a precedent that would lead to him becoming a fixture in my life.

Night after night, Felix entered my room and spent the night, gradually establishing a sense of ownership over my living space. It was a situation that spiraled out of control, and before long, I found myself pregnant with my second child, Niel.

With my pregnancy, Felix insisted that I move into his home, and I left my job behind. Our relationship began to change, and the loving and caring man I had initially known gave way to a more demanding and quarrelsome presence.

We moved from one rented room to another, facing the challenges that life threw our way.

Felix's work often took him to Venezuela, leaving me alone to care for our growing family.

During this time, I gave birth to Niel and Lenny, making it a life of constant transitions and challenges.

Despite the difficulties, I persevered, traveling back to Sande Grande to give birth to my children with the help of my mother, and then returning to Sobo when I had regained my strength.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity Meeting Felix and the start of a new family cont.

The pattern of Felix's absences and returns continued, as he often ventured to Venezuela without informing me of his plans. It was a tumultuous time, and I found myself alone and struggling to provide for our children.

One day, while I was on the brink of moving to another space, Felix returned from Venezuela once more. Our lives were marked by uncertainty, but something kept me from leaving him behind. I remembered my father's words when he had seen me returning home with my bags and baggage, and I vowed never to go back again.

As a result, I weathered all the storms that came my way, determined to face my trials and tribulations head-on. My resolve to stand by Felix's side, no matter the challenges, would go on to define the course of our lives.

It was during these tumultuous times that Felix secured a steady job working at the dairy, a blessing that would bring stability to our family and mark a new chapter in our journey together.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

09. A new house, the Dairy work and lost opportunities

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ur lives took a turn for the better when Felix secured a job at the old dairy, complete with a company house for the workers. It was the most stable job he had ever held, and it came with the added benefit of a decent place for us to live. The house was tall and narrow, with just one bedroom. To accommodate our growing family, we had to convert the living room into another bedroom. Nevertheless, it was a significant improvement from our previous living conditions.

Felix's restlessness persisted, and he often ventured out in search of other job opportunities.

He would leave the dairy to explore other options or work additional jobs in Forest Reserve, sometimes holding multiple jobs simultaneously. He had an unyielding work ethic, getting up as early as 3 o'clock in the morning to start his shifts.

During this time, our family continued to expand. I gave birth to our fifth child, who was also my fourth child with Felix, Dominic. Soon after, our first daughter, Phyllis, was born right in our house. A midwife had come to assist with the delivery, but it happened so quickly that she arrived just in time to witness the birth.

Our family grew even further with the births of Lewis, Chris, and Annabelle, all delivered with the help of a midwife in our home. Annabelle, in particular, stood out because she had her father's clear complexion, which delighted Felix's family, and they came to see her shortly after her birth.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity A new house, the Dairy work and lost opportunities cont.

Then came another time to give birth on valentine’s day, and Felix was absent again, possibly in Venezuela. As he had not returned, I decided to name that child after him. Felix Reynold, as I couldn't recall clearly his second name which was actually Randolf not Reynold. So I gave birth to to the first child in a hospital, a stark contrast to the home births of all his siblings. The midwife had refused to attend the birth, deeming it excessive given my numerous pregnancies. I had to take a taxi to the San Fernando Hospital alone while in labor, and he was born quickly upon arrival, an experience I described as the easiest childbirth I had ever endured.

Our situation took a turn for the worse when Felix lost his job at the dairy due to his frequent absenteeism and tardiness. We were forced to vacate the company house, and I had to rely on Felix's family for support. Going back to my parents' home was not an option, as my father had made it clear that he would not accept me back again.

Felix's dissatisfaction with work persisted, leading him to wander again. During one of his absences, he found refuge with a friend named Clive, who allowed us to live in a small house. This pattern of leaving me alone with our growing brood and no means of support became a recurring challenge.

One day, representatives from the dairy came searching for Felix. The dairy had a new manager, Mr. Richard Wallis, who was interested in offering Felix another chance due to his extensive family responsibilities. They had recently established a new dairy and needed a capable foreman to oversee operations. Mr. Wallis decided to wait for Felix's return, convinced that he was the right person for the job.

I prayed fervently for Felix's return, and my prayers were answered when he came back just in time to seize the opportunity Mr. Wallis had offered him. Felix was appointed as the foreman of the new dairy, and we moved into a new house provided by the company, complete with a new kitchen and improved living conditions. It was a moment of triumph and a fresh start for our family.

Little did we know that this new beginning would present its own set of challenges and adventures. Our faith, resilience, and love would continue to sustain us as we embarked on this new phase of our journey together. Through it all, I never lost sight of the promise I had made to myself—to stand by Felix and our family, no matter what obstacles lay ahead. It was a promise that had carried me through the toughest times in my life, and it was a promise I intended to keep.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

10. A New Life in Kendal Dairy

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ur move to the new dairy in Palo Seco call Kendal Dairy marked a turning point in our lives. The company provided us with a house, and Mr. Wallis, the generous manager, even offered an extra apartment from one of the double-unit homes to accommodate our large family. It was a tight-knit community, with six families living on the gentle hill where the houses were situated. The dairy farm, where everyone worked, lay at the bottom of the hill.

The surroundings were idyllic, resembling the green pastures of English dairy farms. It was truly a blessing, and we thanked God for this remarkable change.

The new house came with numerous amenities we had never experienced before. We had free electricity, running water, an indoor toilet, and a veranda for the single unit home. We had ample space to rear chickens, rabbits, ducks, pigs, cows, and goats, along with plenty of room for cultivating gardens to grow our own food. The entire farm was surrounded by vast open fields of lush green pastures where the cows grazed freely, reminiscent of the picturesque landscapes you might find in England.

Despite our newfound comfort, our financial situation was still challenging when we moved in. Our initial visit to the local shop left us with just a bag of flour, and we had to make do with dumplings for a week until Felix received his first paycheck. In those days, new employees had to wait for their first week's pay, leaving us with only flour to sustain us until he was paid. We were thankful for the job, but the initial weeks were indeed difficult.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity A New Life in Kendal Dairy cont.

Felix was supposed to be paid every week, but due to the one-week delay for new employees, we had to manage with limited resources. When his first paycheck arrived, we headed to Mr. Rupert's supermarket in Palo Seco to purchase groceries, finally diversifying our meals beyond dumplings.

At the dairy I had my last two children at the San Fernando hospital Alphonso, and my last girl child Allison. Felix drove me to the hospital to have them, which was a welcome change.

Felix continued to work at the dairy for over 23 years, and during this time, he settled into family life and helped care for our children and animals. Despite our long partnership, we never officially married. However, as the years passed, sadly he began to behave erratically and entered into a relationship with an Indian woman. Eventually, he moved out of our home to live with her.

During that period of his absence, I started selling at the local market to help support the family, it was hard work, in a time when I was not getting younger. But it was a labour of love.

Before his retirement at the age of 65, Felix wanted us to move to live in the land he aacquired through the government agricultural society. He started raising pigs and cows on this property, later he building a house in the secluded area within the land. He wanted us to move there before his retirement, but I refused to leave the dairy house, it felt like a step backwards to me. He suggested that I and our children should relocate to the new property, leaving the dairy house for him and his new partner, the Indian woman.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity A New Life in Kendal Dairy cont.

As the situation became more strained, Felix left his job at the dairy a few years before his official retirement, forcing us to leave the place we had called home for over two decades.

Those last few years were marked by many tears and hurtful words, with Felix repeatedly telling me that he no longer wanted me and that I had grown too old for him.

This marked the end of an era, as we left behind the dairy, the place where we had built a life together and raised our children. It was a time of transition and uncertainty, but we faced it with the same resilience and determination that had carried us through the challenges of the past.

The tought of Leaving the dairy farm after over two decades was undoubtedly a challenging transition. It was as if we were starting anew, but this time, I was determined to do so on my terms. The years of hard work and sacrifice had taken their toll on me, but they had also made me stronger and more resourceful.

Felix had moved out to live with the Indian woman, and I decided to hold my ground. I would not be pushed out of the home we had shared together for so long. My remaining children were growing up, and they needed a stable environment. I refused to uproot them and move to the new property that Felix had acquired. Instead, I stayed in the dairy house, determined to provide a stable home for my children.

Despite the difficulties, I was grateful for the support of my children. They were growing up to be strong and independent, and they helped me in any way they could. We were a close-knit family, and our bond grew even stronger in the face of adversity.

Over the years, our children began to leave home one by one as they grew up and started their own families. It was a bittersweet experience to see them go, but I was proud of the strong, independent individuals they had become. I had done my best to instill in them the values of hard work, resilience, and determination that had carried me through life's challenges.

As I entered my later years, I reflected on the journey I had taken, from a young girl facing the uncertainty of pregnancy and motherhood to a mature woman who had weathered many storms. I had learned that life was full of ups and downs, but with faith, determination, and the love of family, one could overcome even the toughest obstacles.

Looking back on my life, I had no regrets. I had faced adversity with strength and courage, and we had raised a family that we were proud of. Our children were my greatest achievement, and I knew that they would carry forward the lessons I had taught them into the future.

And so, as I entered the next chapter of my life, I did so with a sense of gratitude and contentment. I knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, I would face them with the same unwavering spirit that had carried me through a lifetime of trials and triumphs.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

11. The Final Chapter

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s time moved forward, our family underwent a significant transformation. We left the dairy farm, our long-time home, my daughter's husband, Elvin Sam, had given us the land to build upon. Felix and my sons help build a flat, three-bedroom house designed by my son Chris, who had become a draftsman. While it was bittersweet to say goodbye to the dairy, it marked a new chapter in our lives.

Moving our belongings to our new home was no small task. My son Lenny, now married and working on the farm, played a crucial role by driving the farm tractor and trailer to transport our possessions. After a few days of hard work, we were finally settled into our new house. It was not a company house like the ones we had lived in for so many years; it was our very own home, and that made it all the more special.

By this time, many of my children had grown up, married, and some had even moved to the USA. The ones who had already started their own families by the time of our move were Neil, Lenny, Glenroy, Dominic, Phyllis, Lewis, Chris, and Annabelle. They had made homes of their own, and their own children were beginning to grow up.

The children who moved into our new house included Reynold, Alphonso, Allison, and three of Neil's children: Steve, Michelle, and Jilleen, along with one of Felix's nieces named Mary. But Felix did not come to live with us. He had chosen to stay with the Indian woman he had been involved with for many years. But this adverse situation as hurtful as it was allowed me to find God in a new way. I gave my life to Christ and was baptisted and became very fountional in the Early church movement.

Felix's actions were not without consequences. He eventually sold the land he had acquired, not considering leaving a legacy for his children. As the years passed, he wanted to return home, but pride prevented him from asking in person. While he occasionally visited me in the garden, he never directly expressed his desire to come back home. I knew he wanted to, but he couldn't find the words to say sorry.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity The Final Chapter cont.

Before he became sick with cancer, there were attempts to bring him back home for me to take care of him, but I declined. I carried that decision on my heart, unable to forgive him for leaving me after all we had been through together. He had never formally married me, and now, when he was sick and dying, they wanted to bring him back. I couldn't bear the thought.

Felix passed away at the home of the Indian woman with whom he had spent his later years.

They eventually reunited, and he lived in a house he built at the back of the Palo Seco velodrome. His death marked the end of a tumultuous chapter in my life.

In his final days, Felix did not forget to speak ill of me to our children, sharing many untrue and hurtful stories. It was a painful experience for me, but I chose to focus on the life I had built with my children. I thanked God for the strength, resilience, and determination that had carried me through a lifetime of challenges.

And so, as I entered the final chapter of my life, I did so with a sense of closure. I had faced adversity, endured hardships, and celebrated triumphs. My children and grandchildren were my greatest blessings, and I knew that the love and bond we shared would continue to carry us forward into the future.

As the years went by and I settled into my final chapter, I found myself again reflecting on the journey that had brought me to this point. Life had been far from easy, but it had been rich with experiences, lessons, and love.

My children had grown into strong, independent individuals, each with their own families and paths in life. They had made me proud with their accomplishments, and I knew that they carried the lessons I had taught them into the world. Despite the challenges we had faced, our family bond remained unbreakable.

I continued to live in our family home in Cayanne Trace, Santa Flora, surrounded by the memories of the years gone by. The house was filled with the laughter and chatter of my children and grandchildren whenever they visited. It was a place of warmth and love.

I spent my days tending to the garden, which had always been a source of solace for me. I grew vegetables, herbs, and flowers, finding peace and tranquility in the simple act of nurturing life. It was in these moments that I felt closest to God and found the strength to carry on.

I often thought about the choices I had made in life, both the triumphs and the regrets. My decision to leave home as a young woman, the challenges of raising a large family on my own, and the pain of losing contact with my son were among the defining moments of my life. But I had also experienced the joy of motherhood, the satisfaction of hard work, and the blessing of finding a loving community.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity The Final Chapter cont.

In my quiet moments, I thought of Felix, the man who had been a central figure in my life for so many years. Our relationship had been marked by both love and hardship, and his absence had left a void in my heart. I had never stopped loving him, despite the pain he had caused me.

But life had taught me resilience and the ability to carry on. I found comfort in my faith, knowing that God had been my constant companion throughout the journey. I had weathered storms and basked in moments of sunshine, and through it all, my faith had remained unwavering.

I continued to impart my wisdom to my children and grandchildren, sharing the stories of our family's history, the challenges we had overcome, and the values that had guided us. I hoped that they would carry these lessons forward, passing them on to future generations.

As the sun set on each day, casting a warm glow over our family home, I felt a sense of contentment. I had lived a life filled with love, laughter, and resilience. I had faced adversity head-on and emerged stronger for it. My journey had been a testament to the power of family, faith, and unwavering determination.

And so, with a heart full of gratitude and love, I embraced the twilight years of my life, cherishing each moment and finding solace in the legacy I had built with my beloved children and grandchildren. My story was not just mine; it was a part of our family's history, a testament to the enduring spirit of love and family bonds.

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

12. Sybilix Family Fund: Continuing Her Legacy As we close the chapters of this remarkable life story, we open the door to a new beginning—a continuation of Sybil's legacy through the Sybilix Family Fund. Just as Sybil James lived a life guided by unwavering values, resilience, and an enduring love for her family, the Sybilix Fund embodies her spirit.

The Sybilix Family Fund is not just a tribute; it's a living testament to her financial wisdom and boundless generosity. Through this fund, we aim to carry forward the principles that defined her life. It will serve as a beacon of hope, a source of support, and a symbol of her enduring presence in our lives.

With your support and contributions, the Sybilix Fund will empower individuals and families to overcome challenges, seize opportunities, and build brighter futures. Sybil's journey, which began in humble circumstances and led to a life filled with achievements and love, continues in the lives that this fund touches.

We invite you to join us in preserving and sharing her legacy, ensuring that Sybil's impact endures for generations to come. Together, we celebrate not only her extraordinary life but also the enduring power of love, generosity, and the indomitable spirit that defines the Sybilix Family Fund.

Thank you for being part of this journey.

In loving memory of Sybil James (29th May, 1931 - 17th Oct. 2022)

Sybilix Family Fund Contributors To learn more or contribute, please contact or WhatApp any member of our brothers and sisters or Reynold James at 345-4870

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Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

Write some of your fun memories and how Her life may have impacted you. ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ Page 31

Sybil James: A Journey of Resilience, Love & Generosity

01. A Journey of Resilience Love Generosity

A Journey of Journey of Resilience Love Generosity Resilience, Love & Generosity

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This book is not just a memoir; it is a tribute to a life well-lived, a celebration of a mother's love, and a testament to the enduring impact one person can have on the lives of many. It is a reminder that even in the face of adversity, we can find strength and inspiration.

Sybil James

As we embark on this journey through the life of Sybil James, we invite you to join us in honoring her memory, reflecting on her wisdom, and drawing from the wellspring of her experiences. Sybil James may no longer be with us in the physical sense, but her legacy lives on in the hearts and minds of her loved ones and in the

Sybilix Fund, a testament to her enduring spirit of giving.

A Sybilix publication

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