Hello Springtime! The joy of Springtime brings new light, energy, and fresh ideas as we shed the layers of winter sluggishness. We are thrilled to celebrate the springtime birth of our new magazine’s first edition.
Welcome to the A Day At A Time + (ADAAT+) Monthly Magazine. I am so excited because this is our first edition, and yes, it is a BIG deal! Not only to me, but I believe it will be to you too. Our magazine was birthed from my weekly Podcast, A Day At A Time with Belinda Payne.
I am an author, speaker, teacher, wife, mother, and grandma. I love biking, walking, traveling, and cooking. My greatest love is my family; second to that is writing and sharing stories. This magazine comes from my heart and soul!
At sixty-three years old, I am learning to fly a day at a time – with new dreams, visions, and a new mindset. I am excited about our planned conversations for you, and I look forward to you joining me on these pages. And yes, just like you, I get to learn the dynamics of living life a day at a time with each article we print. These articles are designed with you in mind to help keep you and me motivated, light-hearted, and passionate about building, guarding, and cultivating our lives a day at a time.
Our central focus is to empower you to thrive, A Day At A Time. We take a conversational journey to shine the spotlight on exciting individuals who are Thriving at what they do by making the best use of their time.
This insightful Podcast has spread its wings, and now we are soaring to higher heights to bring you multiple ways to stay connected with us. After all, we can only say so much within thirty minutes. As you read these articles, I am persuaded you will see the contributor brings profoundness to the forefront to help you look at a situation or a complex conversation and extract from it what you may not have otherwise been able to perceive, see or understand and present it back to you in a way that sheds light, enlightens, or infuses wisdom, understanding, a knowledge previously not known – Insight.
Be sure to subscribe to A Day At a Time with Belinda Payne to get notifications for the newly released episodes each Wednesday and share this Podcast with someone you know who would love to hear these timely messages. And also, check out my apparel store, TheTimesStore.com, for fashionable wear. I am inspired to inspire you along your life journey.
So let me take this opportunity to introduce myself.Belinda Payne is ADAAT+’s editor-in-chief. Follow her on Instagram @msbelindapayne.
Time is one the most elusive, nonspatial, and irreversible occurrences that will ever exist. Time cannot be exported, imported, expedited, replicated, defeated, or conquered. Time can represent a moment and be the face of eternity simultaneously.
Back in the day, the senior folks would say, keep living… what I have learned is that means Time is a teacher. Each day God gives you, a new lesson will be learned. I’ve also learned that every day will become yesterday – Time does not stand still, nor does life.
I believe life is a journey to be lived “A Day At A Time,” and I firmly believe that with a good understanding of Timing integrated with (Time Management), you can develop a healthy relationship with Time. Our relationship with the three Ts brings clarity; when you see with clarity, you can aim and hit your target more accurately.
Seeing is not merely with the human eye but perceiving and understanding life through a clear lens of Time, Timing, and Time Management in everything you do. Everything and everyone has an appointment with Time.
Here’s a revelation: You can naturally and harmoniously learn and apply the principles of TIME, TIMING, and TIME MANAGEMENT according to your God-given rhythm of life that’s already down on the inside of you to help you manage to master all three. It’s not about changing your rhythm; it’s about synchronizing your inherent rhythm with T-I-M-E, TIMING, and TIME MANAGEMENT.
Why is Time a Teacher?: Because your core beliefs about Time, Timing, and Time Management permeate every thought you have, the decisions you make, and actions performed - and will directly influence your ability to pass or fail the tests of time, timing, and time management.
How Do I Master Time?: Learning to allow your natural rhythm to instruct you on making wiser decisions. Your rhythm of life will show you how to use better judgment, open your mind to learn ways to increase your knowledge, give you understanding, impart the clarity you need so you can see the way you need to take and train you to exercise better problem-solving skills for more successful outcomes.
Let’s look at life through the microscopic lens of Time, Timing, and Time Management – because they do not stand alone! TIME will always be in the past, present, and future – but our views about time, timing, and Time Management are sometimes subjective, dimensional, and controversial. This revelation took way too long for me to comprehendand I don’t want you to spend precious time wandering around in a desert land as I did.
What Will I Achieve?” You will learn when to say yes and when to say no, or at least not now. That means you begin to recognize when to stop doing the right things at the wrong time and start doing things at their appointed time; embrace time as your best friend, not your worst enemy!
Even though I can’t hear your voice…I hear you. I hear your soul, struggles, thoughts, feelings, and frustration concerning Time, Timing, and Time Management!
We all struggle with managing our day because of Time constraints, many of which we cannot control. However, the relationship between TIME, TIMING, and TIME MANAGEMENT seems to be the greatest challenge for most individuals.
Time, Timing, and Time management are not destinations – each continues to evolve | and develop throughout our lives through the thousands of events we will encounter along our journey.
Once you complete one project, achieve one milestone, or finish one race, another will appear before you. That’s why we need many moments of spiritual solidarity, revelation, liberation, and times of healing and refreshing. These moments happen a day at a time, shaping the whys, hows, whats, and whens we experience along our journey.
When starting something new most people what to know why they are doing it; they need to understand the purpose or reason for doing the task, and that’s fair—but immediately following the resolution of why in their mind - then it’s on to how - how are they going to attain or complete the task in front of them – will it be done by a tangible or intangible method, formula or process. And finally, people need a realistic but challenging explanation of what specified outcomes or results to expect from performing the assigned tasks. Time, Timing, and TM are the interface for all three.
Listen closely: Sometimes your life may feel like you are standing at home plate waiting for the perfect pitch, and the pitcher throws you a curveball, then a fastball, now a changeup, and maybe he even throws you the perfect pitch – but here’s the reality; no matter what the pitch – if you swing and fail to hit the ball it’s called a strike and after three strikes – you are out! You might say that’ how I feel about Time, Timing, and TM.
I have tried repeatedly to master all three – but I keep striking out – and now my life is dysfunctional; I am overwhelmed, overworked, and overextended Being a good hitter in baseball is about mastering all three. The key is for the player to know how much time he needs to commit to practicing his form, developing the awareness of his timing or rhythm, and then to self-administrate time management to maximize his ability to use his time effectively to work out, get rest, and more.
Leveling all three increases that player’s ability to begin to calculate from the moment the ball leaves the pitcher’s glove to the moment he must begin to move | angle his entire body, so the bat can make direct contact with the baseball using the right amount of force. The same applies to the hockey player racing around the ice rink with a bunch of guys swinging a skinny stick, trying to strike at a tiny little rubber puck on a floor of ice, to make a shot into a net – at the right time and timing, at the best angle to get past the goalie to score a goal.
How about that quarterback who throws the ball to the receiver, who has to estimate the timing and speed of the ball which he through the air, all while calculating the speed and timing of the receiver; simultaneously while the receiver is calculating the timing of the quarterbacks throw to ensure he will be in the right place at the best time to catch the ball mid-air | run into the end zone to score a touchdown.
Have you ever wondered how basketball players can run back and forth up and down the court, throwing a basketball back and forth multiple times among their teammates with the opponent on their heels, waving their arms in their faces, reaching in to grab the ball – and somehow still pass the ball to their teammate or jump and shoot the ball sending the ball flying through the air with such, velocity, timing and precision that the ball goes through the hoop –sometimes not even touching the net?
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ou just checked the clock and it only reads 10:47 a.m. You are thinking, “How am I going to make it through the day? I love being a helper but right now I could care less about helping. Is it me? It is them? Yes, it is probably them!” You may be reading this thinking “How does she know?” but the truth is that many can identify with these thoughts. I have come to realize people are familiar with the physical and emotional symptoms of compassion fatigue, not knowing compassion fatigue is real. Feelings such as being tired, disengaged, believing you have symptoms associated with a cold/flu are all associated with compassion fatigue.
Marisa Nowitz, Director of School and Community Engagement for the Trauma and Grief Center at the Hackett Center of Mental Health defines self-care as “the ability to engage in helping others without sacrificing other important aspects of life”. The opposite of this practice is compassion fatigue; sacrificing important aspects of life while still trying to help others. At one time, compassion fatigue seemed to be focused on specific professions, however, the COVID-19 pandemic showed that anyone in the role of helping- caring for an ailing loved one, teaching your children at home, as well as teachers, medical professionals, mental health professionalswere susceptible. Additional risk factors include professionals who work with traumatized individuals, persons with their own unresolved trauma, as well as feeling isolated socially and professionally. Stress, burnout, compassion fatigue and emotional overwhelm are terms used interchangeably, but it is important to have a working definition of each.
According to Healthline.com “stress is a natural physical and mental reaction to life experiences”. This definition emphasizes stress is not always bad. Some stress builds our resiliency, such as exercising. Your muscles are stressed in the workout and strengthened during recovery. However, when stress prohibits you from pursuing wholeness in life, you should attend to it. Many factors contribute to stress including daily hassles, major life changes as well as life circumstances both within and outside of your control.
Burnout, another term closely related to compassion fatigue, is defined by Freudenberger as the “state of mental and physical exhaustion caused by one’s professional life. Maslach and M.P. Leiter (2005) said burnout includes losing three things:
Based on the work of Figley, Tend Academy’s Compassion Fatigue (CF) refers to “the profound emotional and physical erosion that takes place when helpers are unable to refuel and regenerate”. This definition highlights even though compassion fatigue is associated with helping professions, you do not have to get paid for the work to be susceptible.
While the signs and symptoms of burnout and compassion fatigue can feel personal, there are general similarities in experience:
* Tired
* Feeling like you are coming down with something
* Loss of motivation
* Skipping work or the responsibility
* Actually wishing illnesses on yourself or a broken bone
* Forgetfulness
The Professional Quality of Life Measure, can help you determine your current level of compassion fatigue and/ or compassion satisfaction. It is available in multiple languages. Take it. See where you are. Wisdom is the principal thing. Get wisdom and in
all thy getting, get understanding. Here are steps you can take, a day at a time, to reduce compassion fatigue and regain satisfaction.
1. Physical- Learn to recognize your body and its signals. Your body sends signals of what it needs, and it is important to be attuned to its various cues. This may mean laying down to rest well before you reach the point of exhaustion or feeding your body nourishing foods.
2. Mental- Do your A,B,Cs as explained by cognitive behavioral therapy. Our feelings and behaviors (or C, consequences) are impacted by our beliefs (B= beliefs), more so than the events occurring in life (A=activating events). Actively examining our thoughts to determine their truthfulness can positively impact our feelings and behaviors.
3. Professional- Ask for what you need and have the confidence to say what you do not need. If you have seven back to back meetings, avoid scheduling all the tasks from those meetings in the same day. Work to pace the tasks and activities instead. Remember, you are a human-being, not a human-doing.
4. Emotional- Attend to your flame when it’s flickering. Priti Avantsa, coordinator of Mental Health/Social Work Services for Fort Bend ISD, says that our flames can wane at times, meaning emotionally we can start to feel drained. She recommends tending to that feeling when you first notice it rather than allowing your flame to go out. One helpful way to tend your flame is to put voice to your current experience. Allowing your stories to have a place to live outside your body can be restorative. Consider talking with a friend, recording a voice memo, or journaling.
5. Personal- Give yourself permission to care about yourself before you care about others. In the book Quiet, author Susan Cain encourages readers to find a “restorative niche”. My favorite restorative niche occurs at the car wash. As the wheel tracks navigate my vehicle through the wash, I turn the radio off, lean my seat back, close my eyes, and peacefully listen to the water cascade over the windows and roof. This is sometimes the best few minutes of my day.
6. Spiritual- Pour to be refilled. God has an amazing way of refilling us when we pour into the lives and assignments He gives. If compassion fatigue arrives, ask, “God, am I pouring into the things and people you want right now?”
Compassion satisfaction is born out of pleasure in helping others and we can increase our resilience when we witness transformation in the lives of others as they overcome adversity. The key is to remember that you, too, are included in this group, both needing help from time to time and being a witness for others with your overcoming testimony. Whenever someone struggling with compassion fatigue says, “I’m trying to keep going because I care about people”, I kindly remind them, “YOU are people, too.” You deserve compassion, too. Kuykendall-Rogers, V. (2019). Burnout and Compassion Fatigue: Signs, Intervention and Prevention.
Nowitz, M. (2021). The Cost of Caring: Supporting the Supporters. The Hackett Center for Mental Health
What is Compassion Fatigue? (2023, March 31). Retrieved from https://www.tendacademy.ca/what-is-compassion-fatigue/ The Effects of Stress on Your Body. (2023, March 31). Retrieved from https://www.healthline.com/health/stress/effects-on-body
Carlete Metoyer has been a counselor for 14 years and is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in Texas, a Texas Professional School Counselor, and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional. She has experience in education at the secondary, district administration as well as collegiate level. She has also worked in the private sector and healthcare. Carlete is the practice owner and provider of CSM Counseling Solutions, where she focuses on reducing the stigma associated with seeking mental health services while helping clients achieve wholeness in their lives. She is also the host of the Seen, Heard, Whole Podcast
“I’m trying to keep going because I care about people”, I kindly remind them, “YOU are people, too.”
“ Carlete Metoyer, MA, LPC
Houston is known for its performing and visual arts centers, with hundreds of institutions across the region dedicated to artistic expression through many mediums. Whether looking for a night at the theater or an afternoon exploring one of the city’s many museums, you can always find something unique. Take a tour of the town; we love and explore much of its beauty in the nation’s most diverse city
Vacationing is educational and provides a recreational way to explore the world around us. It offers many opportunities to experience things we love and make new friends. And the taste and budget of residents. You’ll discover trying fresh food, exploring new cultures, and tasting local drinks here. There are many choices when it comes to taking a trip to places you love to visit, from trendy towns and city treasures, and historical landmarks to near-town adventures. Find your perfect place to explore today.
In today’ world, it’s easy to feel like you can’t make a difference. But the truth is, we all have the power to make the world a better place. You can make a difference in the world in many practical ways, including volunteering your time, donating money, speaking out against injustice, and being a positive force for change. Volunteering your time is one of the most practical ways to make a difference. You can volunteer at a local soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or animal shelter. You can also volunteer your time to tutor children or mentor someone who is struggling. Volunteering your time is a great way to give back to your community and improve the world.
Donating money is another practical way to make a difference in the world. You can donate money to charities that support causes you care about, such as environmental protection, education, or medical research. You can also donate money to help those less fortunate than you by giving to organizations that provide food, clothing, and shelter to those in need. Donating money is a great way to support causes you care about and make a difference in the lives of others.
Speaking out against injustice is another practical way to make a difference in the world. When you see something happening that isn’t right, speak up! Stand up for what you believe in, and don’t be afraid to voice your opinion. You can also join protests or write letters to elected officials to demand change. Speaking out against injustice is a great way to stand up for what’s right and help create a better world for everyone. Being a positive force for change is another practical way to make a difference. One simple act of kindness can brighten someone’s day and inspire them to do good deeds for others. Showing compassion and understanding towards others goes a long way toward making the world better for everyone. So next time you see someone struggling, lend them a helping hand; it is maybe what they need.
These are just some practical ways to make a difference in the world. No matter how big or small, every act of kindness creates an impact. So go out there and start making the world a better place! Join me every Wednesday on this journey together at A Day At A Time Podcast.
It is all about marrying up the principles of time and timing with the elements of time management. You can’t have one without the other – Time, Timing, and Time Management are a team. They work, play, and live as a team. They think in concert with one another. They respect one another. They learn from one another because they have a relationship, and we can learn a valuable lesson from the three Ts too!
I want to leave you with a word of encouragement and a challenge. Please feel free to roam around your universe and practice listening to your inner sense of timing. This time it is really all about you, so make a few tweaks to improve your concept of Time, Timing, and Time Management related to your routines and activities. Share with me what you discovered about yourself and your relationship with the three Ts of life. Be sure to subscribe to ADAAT Podcast to receive notifications when my new Podcasts are released. Use the hashtag #adayatatime to send me communications. I’d love to hear from you. I’ll see you on your journey!
WEDNESDAYS @6AM
Your journey can inspire and empower others in many ways. By sharing your story, you can show others that it is okay to be human and to make mistakes. You can also show them that it is possible to overcome struggles and achieve success. Additionally, being authentic and vulnerable can help others feel more connected and understood.
Sharing your story is one way to use your journey to empower others. It can be in many ways, such as writing, speaking, or making videos. When you share your story, you permit others to be imperfect. You also show them that overcoming challenges and achieving success is possible. In addition, sharing your story can help others feel more connected and understood.
Another way to use your journey to empower others is by being authentic and vulnerable. When you are open about your struggles and triumphs, it helps others feel less alone. It also allows them to see that it is possible to overcome challenges. Being authentic also helps build trust and connection with others.
You can use your journey to empower and inspire others in many ways. Please share your story with vulnerability and authenticity to show that it’s okay to be human, that mistakes are part of the journey, and that success is attainable despite challenges faced along the way. Most importantly, stay true to yourself throughout the process to inspire others to do the same.
“HOW YOU USE YOUR JOURNEY TO EMPOWER AND INSPIRE OTHERS”
There are always exceptional people in our lives. Let’s not forget to celebrate them, pick up the phone and call to wish them a Happy Birthday. You never know how long that will go.
Hold yourself accountable this month to take a walk, ride a bike, or get on the trail for just 20 minutes each day. The more you take care of your body, the further your body can carry you to achieve your goals in life.
Take your 10 - 20 minutes mindfulness break. Rest is one of the most important things to help you refocus and stay sharp daily when you can allow your body to shut down and reboot again, taking a 100% break away from everything to recharge.
