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c o n t e n t s Baby, baby, baby This month’s features

3 What to expect

First-time moms and dads are often surprised by the realities of parenthood.

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6 Doulas 101

Doulas offer parents help before baby and after. Learn more about their roles.

10 Picking a doctor

Advice on how to choose a physician for your child.

14 Learn about wills

Parents can make sure their children’s future is protected by setting up wills and guardianships.

18 Books for new siblings

Jennifer Prince finds four new books to ease kids into the idea of becoming a sibling.

20 Labor stories

26 A dad’s view

William Tiernan offers suggestions for dads-to-be.

32 Parent 2 Parent

Meet Jennifer Losch, who owns a marketing firm and is expecting her third child.

36 Online support

Moms find friendship, advice in Internet forums.

Babymoons

Four Asheville moms share their tales of childbirth.

42 More expectant parents are

Tips on baby-proofing your home before the bundle of joy arrives.

46 Plugged-in parents

24 Infant safety

In every issue

Kids Voices .......................35 Growing Together ...............45 Artful Parent .....................50 Show & Tell.......................52 Story Times ......................54 Librarian’s Pick..................55 Divorced Families...............56 Parenting in a Nutshell .......57 Home-school Happenings ....60 Puzzles........................65-66 Calendar .....................72-79

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My children were born in July, each on seemingly the hottest day of the summer. In 1999, I went into labor on an hour of sleep. I was in Madison, Wis., and my husband was in Chicago, two hours away. Seventeen hours and no epidural later (the Madison docs didn’t encourage them), I had a feisty baby girl. Almost exactly three years later, my labor started in the elevator at Nordstrom. I drove home (not fun, driving with contractions), and my husband took us to the hospital. I remember walking from the car to the ER, the heat coming off the pavement in waves, the doors like a mirage. After a tidy three hours, an easygoing baby boy was born. Every parent has a story about labor. We’ve gathered the tales of childbirth from some area moms on Page 20. One thing every parent may not have is a will or arrangements for guardianship. Learn about what you should have set up in case the worst occurs in Barbara Blake’s story on Page 14. Some mothers choose to use a doula during childbirth. What’s a doula? We answer that on Page 6. And let’s not forget about dads. William Tiernan offers a new father’s perspective on Page 26. What’s your labor story? Share it with us on Facebook, or at WNCmom.com. Katie Wadington, editor

taking vacations before baby.

Myriad electronic devices distract parents.

On the cover

Photo by Portraits by Tuesday’s Frog, of Asheville, tuesdaysfrog.com.

Are you a member? Join the conversation, post photos and connect with other parents at WNCmom.com. Look for WNC Parent on Facebook and Twitter.

P.O. Box 2090, Asheville, NC 28802 828-232-5845 I www.wncmom.com PRESIDENT AND PUBLISHER Randy Hammer WNC PARENT EDITOR Katie Wadington - 232-5829 kwadington@citizen-times.com CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Nancy Sluder nsluder@citizen-times.com

FEATURES EDITOR Bruce Steele bsteele@citizen-times.com STAFF WRITER Barbara Blake bblake@citizen-times.com

ADVERTISING/CIRCULATION Miranda Weerheim - 232-5980 mweerheim@gannett.com CALENDAR CONTENT Due by Sept. 10. E-mail calendar@wncparent.com ADVERTISING DEADLINES Advertising deadline for the October issue is Sept. 14

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SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Infants can demand more time than a new parent may expect.

Expectations vs. reality

Parenthood’s challenges catch many new parents off-guard

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By Lockie Hunter | WNC Parent contributor

he big day draws near. You have visions of your new angel softly sleeping nearby while you lovingly paste each memory into the scrapbook. Yet, the reality of bringing home a new baby can be unexpected.

“Although these may be some of the happiest days of your life they are also some of the most chal-

lenging,” says Trish Beckman, certified nurse midwife with the Women’s Wellness and Education CenContinues on Page 4

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Expectations

MORE INFORMATION

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ter and Empowered Birthing Childbirth Classes. She notes that new parents are often surprised by some of the mixed emotions that normally occur in the first few weeks after the birth of their baby. “The baby that is so cute when asleep can be so demanding of your attention at all other times and often in the middle of the night,” Beckman says, adding that meeting the baby’s needs can mean that Mom’s needs just simply don’t get met. Laura Traylor, of Oteen, expected to be “bouncing around, cleaning house, fixing meals, helping out others, sewing various projects, all the while watching this beautiful, quiet and content baby sleeping in her bouncy seat — allowing me time to do all these wonderful idealistic things.” Traylor found reality to be much different. “I was too zonked to warm up leftov-

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For a list of support groups that may be helpful to parents of new babies, see the calendar on Page 78.

ers or make a few necessary phone calls while my beautiful baby cried and wanted all my attention,” she says. Lis Anna, of Asheville, had very few expectations. “I think it is how I see the world in general,” says Anna. “Go out, do great things, do silly things and do them with great passion. So, I had no idea what to expect with having a baby. I just knew I loved her the minute I knew about her.” But, after baby was born, Anna was exhausted and the baby’s father was not prepared for how intense the whole experience was.

“He thought you just walked into the hospital on your due date, had a baby and left. He almost fainted in the birthing room when he saw that it was not simple and something could happen to me,” Anna says. Terra Maney, of Asheville, found that after the birth of each child, while most of her friends seemed to have little trouble feeling great and getting out, it would take her six to nine months to feel physically “capable” again. Her solution? “In pregnancy, I began to discover natural health solutions,” says Maney, “and when my first child and I struggled with systemic yeast, my quest for well-being became a passion that expanded into my current lifework.”

It takes a village Once Traylor’s husband went back to work her parents and in-laws each took a week of staying with them to help. “These grandparents held babies, did chores, ran errands and basically took care of us — giving me time to nap,” she says. “It was a wonderful gift of their

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giving themselves to us and us giving them time with their new grandchild.” While family support can be crucial, many moms also need outside support. Beckman strongly recommends joining Mamatime, a nonjudgmental 12-week group for new moms that meets weekly with 10-12 moms and a trained facilitator. “The support of other new moms can be instrumental in helping new moms find balance and humor as they navigate the first few months of motherhood,” Beckman says.

The stork redux Beckman notes that having two little ones doesn’t always add up. “One plus one often feels like a lot more than two,” she says. Traylor found that even before the little brother was born, her daughter Olivia Belle loved him dearly. “She’d sing and talk to him in utero, but despite her obvious love of ‘her baby’ we were concerned about jealousy,” Traylor says. Yet Traylor’s daughter only occasionally reverted to trying to act like a baby, talking and “playing” baby. Maney feels that even when the older child is excited about the new baby and loves to help “mother” the new sibling, the older child still at times experiences mixed feelings. “On at least two occasions, my oldest child bit her younger sister’s toes while I was holding the younger child on my hip.” Beckman adds that if your first child is a toddler you may consider buying him or her a little doll with diapers and blankets and sharing the baby time together.

Although these may be some of the happiest days of your life they are also some of the most challenging. TRISH BECKMAN, CERTIFIED NURSE-MIDWIFE

creatures.” Beckman suggests that new moms get ready for this time. “My top recommendations include taking a childbirth class with a great breast-feeding component to get you and your partner well prepared for both labor and breast-feeding,” she says. “Also, do what you can to make sure some of your basic needs can be met. Think about meals and have your fridge and freezer stocked with healthy nutri-

tious and easy to prepare foods before you deliver.” Anna organized shifts. “It sounds silly, but clearly delineating the times worked beautifully,” she says. “I think people think if they create a schedule they are squeezing out the love and beauty and awe. Really, with a schedule, you make room for more of it.” It was helpful to Maney to journal and to write letters to her new child. “For those of us who had complicated relationships with our own mothers, the birth of a daughter can be the catalyst for much emotional turmoil,” Maney says. “I had to learn (starting in the pregnancy) to make better boundaries and focus my prime energy on my relationship with my new daughter.” A few weeks after Anna’s baby was born, a friend gave her wonderful advice. He said, “love every minute of the waking up in the middle of the night and the confusion and the beauty because children pass through phases quickly. These times won’t last forever, in fact, most of them won’t last a few months.”

Lessons learned While having a new baby presents challenges, the joys are manifold. The magical moments can be married with self-discoveries as well. One of Maney’s revelations serves her well to this day. “Before I was pregnant with my first child, I struggled to advocate for myself,” she says. “The existence of my child helped (and continues to help) me advocate for myself, for my children, and for wellness and equality for all living

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PHOTOS SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Birth doula Pat Durham, left, with parents Tyler and Tara Byassee, after the delivery of daughter Kate.

Doulas comfort through birth By Pam J. Hecht WNC Parent contributor

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he process of childbirth and the first few weeks of parenthood can be daunting. In fact, having a baby may be the most challenging thing you’ll ever do. What if you had a loyal friend — armed with experience and all of the latest facts and techniques — by your side, providing aroundthe-clock, personalized comfort and care? What you’d have is a doula. Doulas offer emotional, physical and informational support but don’t perform medical procedures. Birth (or labor support) doulas have been around for years, while postpartum doulas are relatively new on the scene. Borne of modern necessity, these specially trained professionals are growing in demand. The number of women training to be doulas is rising, while more and more

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and beyond

families are becoming aware of the benefits, says Cheryl Orengo, a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator and doula trainer based in Asheville. Doulas can fill the gaps left by families who live far away and nurses who are too busy to remain bedside, she adds.

A better birth After the birth of her first child, Tara Byassee, of West Asheville, decided she wanted a better labor experience the second time around. So she hired a doula. “I wanted it to be completely different, to feel more at ease and not so nervous,” she says.

She met with doula Pat Durham before the birth to agree on a birth plan and bond. Along with Byassee’s husband, Tyler, they became “a team,” she says. And while Byassee’s first birth involved an epidural and nearly four hours of pushing, with the support of Durham, she says she was able to give birth the second time the way she wanted to, without the use of drugs. “I felt like I could do it,” Byassee says. “Pat kept me active and knew the progression of different types of movements that would lessen the pain.” She and Durham spent most of the labor laughing and telling stories, while her husband “felt like he could be present with me, instead of worrying about what to do,” she says.

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DOULA DETAILS Birth doulas: ◆ are trained to provide emotional and physical comfort to moms during labor. ◆ utilize massage, positioning and other techniques to help labor progress more comfortably; many are also certified in childbirth programs, like Lamaze. ◆ serve as an advocate and provide unbiased information to help parents make birth decisions. ◆ offer some pre- and post-natal support. ◆ studies show that births assisted by doulas result in shorter labor, less medication and use of vacuums or forceps and fewer c-sections. Postpartum doulas: ◆ provide support at home, after the birth ◆ are trained to assist with emotional and physical recovery from childbirth, infant care, breastfeeding, postpartum mood disorder, nutrition and parenting skills. ◆ help with housework and sibling care. ◆ provide medical and other referrals. ◆ studies show that use of postpartum doulas result in less postpartum depression, increased self-confidence and greater breastfeeding success. Doula costs Birth doulas: typical cost is a flat rate of $300$600. Postpartum doulas: hourly rate varies, from $15-$30. Many doulas offer a sliding scale, scholarships, payment plans and/or bartering in lieu of payment.

FOR MORE INFORMATION Visit wncdoulas.com (DAMA) or DONA.org

Doulas also assist with things like getting ice and identifying signs of dehydration, which can slow down labor, and updating family in the waiting room, says Orengo. Rachel and Steve Ansari, of Bent Creek, used a birth doula for both of their children. Each time, pre-eclampsia forced Rachel to be induced — which wasn’t in the plans — and their doulas, Chama Woydak and Jordan Glover, “kept us calm and helped us Continues on Page 8

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Doulas comfort Continued from Page 7

educate ourselves on our options,” Rachel Ansari says. “They helped me find the strength to listen to my body and birth my baby the way I needed to,” she says.

Help at home Postpartum doula visits usually start on the second or third day home from the hospital — “when the milk comes in and breast-feeding gets tricky,” says Katherine Hensley, a postpartum and birth doula based in Asheville. “We can offer the kind of support our communities used to offer all mothers.” After the birth of her first child, Amanda-Ray Danko, of Asheville, learned that the few first weeks can be hard without help, she says. So, for her second child, she hired postpartum doula Molly Rouse to help out several hours a week. Rouse watched her baby when Danko needed to go to the grocery store, did the laundry and taught her how to use her baby

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PHOTOS SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Postpartum doula Molly Rouse checks in with new mom Amanda-Ray Danko and baby, Paul.

carrier. Being alone at home with a baby can be isolating, Danko says, and Rouse offered her “emotional support and a sense of community.” “I provide a sounding board for questions, worries and joys, and have the most up-to-date research-based information,” says Rouse. “It’s someone to talk to and interact with rather than reading a book.” Clients sign a contract (for a minimum of eight hours) with Rouse before the baby is born and after birth, they meet to deter-

Doula Katherine Hensley holds Campbell Brown, 6 days old, son of Krista Brown. Hensley, who was Brown’s birth and postpartum doula, inspired Brown to become a postpartum doula.

mine a schedule and decide what’s needed, she adds. Annie Jonas, of Asheville, decided to hire a postpartum doula to “smooth the transition to being new parents,” she says. “She kept our home more balanced in the ups and downs of those first weeks,” Jonas says, helping to “ease the anxiety,” answering their many questions and boosting her confidence as a mother. “She also helped to maintain the basic functioning of our home,” assisting with laundry, meals, answering the phones,

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Jordan Glover, Annie Jonas’ postpartum doula, holds Jonas’ newborn. taking care of the baby while Jonas napped and more, Jonas says. Even when family is around, they don’t always know how to help, Orengo says. “Visiting family often want to hold the baby, but mom wants to do that and would rather someone make dinner,” Orengo adds. “We show families how to help by modeling.”

Choosing the right doula “Meet with at least two different doulas to see if compatible — most will provide a free meet-and-greet appointment,” says Rouse. “Ask about their training, experience and references and don’t discount your gut feeling — choose who you feel more comfortable around.” Consider a doula practice where several doulas work together, suggests Orengo. That way, you’ll get to know a “fresh” backup doula who can fill in during an extralong labor or an extended period of time, she explains. Doulas can be certified through Dona International, Childbirth and Postpartum Professional Association or International Childbirth Education Association — organizations that require training and continuing education in labor support, childbirth, breast-feeding, infant/child care and postpartum support. Take a childbirth education class first, says Glover, to have “a better idea of what you’re looking for in a doula and what type of birthing and postpartum experience you’d prefer — each doula has a different skill set and specializes in different areas.” Pam J. Hecht is a freelance writer and editor. E-mail her at pamjh8@gmail.com.

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PHOTO BY CASEY BLAKE

Dr. Victoria Morehouse, of Asheville Medicine and Pediatrics in Arden, examines year-old twins Mia and Luca Yochelson. She suggests asking other parents, as well as doulas or midwives, obstetricians or birthing class teachers for recommendations on doctors.

Finding the right doctor By Casey Blake | WNC Parent contributor

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aking choices about how to care for your healthy child day to day is hard enough, but choosing who to care for your little ones when they’re sick can be even harder. Picking a doctor for your child can be a daunting task, and it’s not as simple as thumbing through a phone book for most parents. But many parents, pediatricians and family practitioners agree on one rule of thumb when it comes to choosing a doc: decide what is most important to you, and ask a lot of questions. Here are a few things to consider in making your own checklist of doctor criteria.

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Where to start

Dr. Victoria Morehouse, of Asheville Medicine and Pediatrics in Arden and a mother of two, gave some simple advice on where to begin looking for the right doctor: ask around. “Most parents will happily tell you about their experiences with their pediatricians and their offices,” Morehouse said. “Also ask your midwife, doula, lactation consultant, birthing class teacher or OB who they recommend, as they will be in the know about issues of professionalism and ability.” And while the Internet may be the first place parents turn to find the right

crib or tips on how to make kids eat their veggies, Morehouse warns that it’s not necessarily the place to hunt for the right doctor. “Online reviews should always be read with the understanding that the satisfied parent will rarely take the time to write one. These are mostly a sounding board for patients who are unhappy,” Morehouse said. “I would trust the opinions of other parents and medical professionals that you know far above anything posted on a website.” Continues on Page 12

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5 STEPS TO FIND YOUR CHILD’S DOCTOR Step 1: Ask for recommendations. Ask friends, colleagues, neighbors, your obstetrician, your family doctor, or any other parents for names of docs they like. Chances are that if the doctor gets good reviews from someone you trust, they’ll get good reviews from you. Step 2: Decide what you want. Do you prefer a holistic approach or traditional medicine? What are some of your specific parenting “anxieties” and what will you need from your doctor to relieve them? Look at your preferences and lifestyle first to prioritize the qualities you look for in a doctor, and will know what to ask when you meet. Step 3: If educational or specialization background is especially important to you, do a little homework on your candidates’

The right doctor Continued from Page 10

Meet and greet As one Asheville mom found, getting a good recommendation for a great doc is only the first step. Ruth Taylor, a registered nurse at Mission Hospital, recalled her quest for a holistic doctor for son Oliver after moving from New Orleans last year. “The big thing for me was just meeting with her in person,” Taylor said. “I wanted to see how she would interact with Oliver and that she would be attentive to my child and not just to me. Fortunately, she was.” But for those families who don’t find the perfect fit right off the bat, many local practices offer free consultations for first-time patients to meet with doctors in person. “We encourage people who’ve never been to come and see our offices,” said Dr. Leigh Dodson of Asheville Pediatric Associates. “We offer free prenatal visits to talk about questions parents might have, meet our doctors and just see what we’re about.” Dr. Eric Lewis of Lewis Family Natural Health, a naturopathic practice in Ashe-

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medical backgrounds. Most practices have websites with bios of their doctors including education history. If you decide to go with a pediatrician, you can find out if a doctor is certified with the American Board of Pediatrics at abp.com. Step 4: Visit and ask questions. Many practices offer free consultations and most will welcome “try-out” meetings with new families. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and don’t be afraid to choose another practice. Doctors don’t want a wrong fit any more than parents do. Step 5: Trust your gut. If you feel comfortable there, your child probably will too. If you don’t feel comfortable or don’t feel that your needs are being met, look elsewhere. WNC has plenty of doctors to choose from, and your child’s is out there.

QUESTIONS TO ASK After you’ve done your homework and made the must-meet list, how do you pick the right fit? Here are a few questions that local physicians recommend a parent ask when investigating a potential doctor. ◆ Why did you choose pediatrics? ◆ Will you call in antibiotics over the phone? Why or why not? ◆ Do you have children? ◆ Who are the other doctors in your practice? ◆ Are you available after hours, or will my calls be sent to an outside “nurse line”? ◆ Are you certified with the American Board of Pediatrics? ◆ What are your thoughts on vaccines? ville, also offers free consultations to new families, and recently learned just how important those visits can be first hand. Lewis, who is expecting his first child with wife and fellow doctor Kristina Lewis, spoke about his search for their child’s future caregiver. The couple, both naturopathic doctors, will also include a medical doctor as part of their

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child’s health care team. “The first thing that was important for us was an office that valued the ‘sit down and get to know you’ kind of meeting,” Lewis said. “Of course we wanted someone who would honor what we were looking for, and who would set aside the time to answer our questions.”

The ‘P’ word Even more complicated than choosing between Huggies and Pampers is the ultimate kid physician decision: pediatrician or family practice doctor? Morehouse explained the difference between a pediatrician and family practitioner: “A pediatrician has spent three years after medical school training to take care of children. The reason this is important is pediatricians have seen a lot more sick children when they leave training and begin practice.” “We are just more specialized,” added Dodson, on the value of a pediatric background. “We have more specific in-patient training with children than a family doctor might.” Asheville mom Kathryn Meeks agreed that the extra experience with the younger set can be an asset. “We felt that it had to be a plus that his experience was with children,” Meeks said of her choice in a physician. “We were very happy with our pediatrician from the beginning — I especially appreciated that he was patient with all my ‘first-time mom’ questions. He reassured me over and over.” The Lewises, however, decided that a pediatric specialty wasn’t the most important qualification. “We ended up going with a family care practice and found a physician who does see a lot of children,” Eric Lewis said. “I think a pediatrics specialty is paramount in some situations but for us, the family care route was what worked best.” As is the answer to many a parenting dilemma, most doctors will tell you that choosing the right physician is just about deciding what you want and trusting your gut. “The needs of parents and families can be so varied,” Lewis said. “The most important thing is that you have the right feel and fit for your family. Everyone is different.”

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Preparing for the unthinkable Set up a will and guardianship for your children to protect them in your absence

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By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer

Job No. 1 for parents is protecting their children from harm, but that job goes further than keeping them safe from physical dangers. Equally important is ensuring that if tragedy strikes and the parents both die, the children will be placed with people of their parents’ choosing, and that their financial future will be protected.

The easiest way to do that is by making a will. It doesn’t have to be a pages-long, detailed document. But having one in place will go far to avoid drawn-out custody battles or haggling over assets if the parents meet an early death. It is especially important for single parents to have a will. To help parents get a fix on what’s involved in making a will, we asked for the expertise of two

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Asheville attorneys who specialize in wills and guardianships: Diane Walton, of Walton Law Office at 168 S. Liberty St., and Cynthia L. Alleman, at 75 Church St. Here are some of their tips.

Does everyone with children need a will?

“Everyone is going to die someday, and few know when it will occur, so yes, wills are recommended for everyone,” Alleman said. “Young couples with children can alleviate a lot of stress on their loved ones if they indicate who they wish to care for their children if they die. “While it can be stressful to consider, the alternative is worse on the children,” she said. “Too often when both parents die in a car or plane crash, family members spend years in court fighting over custody of the children. Having the parents indicate their wishes in a will helps the judge to make the best choice for the children.”

How to get started

“Very wealthy people with estates worth roughly over $1 million should see a lawyer who specializes in estate planning,” Walton said. “The rest of us are well-served by your average will that runs about four or five pages long and covers the necessities.” A simple will with a trust for a minor can be helpful for younger couples who wish to leave their assets to their spouse and their children, Alleman said. “A trust for minors is very helpful to prevent the need for complicated court procedures to access funds for the children, and that can prevent the child from receiving their full inheritance at age 18.”

How to pick a guardian

Parents can and should name guardians for their children in their wills. “A guardian can take care of the child and raise them in the parents’ stead — this is called a guardian of the person,” Walton said. “You can also have a guardi-

an that controls the child’s money — called the guardian of the estate. “Both of these roles can be filled by the same person, or the roles can be divided between two people,” Walton said. “Some families may have a very nurturing aunt, let’s say, who would do well raising the children, but money flows through her hands like water. In that situation, it makes sense to appoint the aunt guardian of the person, but the uncle, who is an accountant, can be guardian of the estate and divvy out the money to the aunt.” The court does not have to abide by parents’ wishes, “but absent a compelling reason not to, will usually appoint the individual you have nominated,” Alleman said. “You should let your family members know your preference — and make certain that the individual you named is willing to serve,” she said. “If possible, seek someone with similar parenting Continues on Page 16

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Making a will Continued from Page 15

style, discipline and values, and discuss with this individual your thoughts for your children’s future.” The guardian is responsible for the basic life-sustaining needs of the child and also has a significant impact on the value system developed by the child, his religious beliefs, educational progress and general development to adulthood, Alleman said. “Especially for children who have lost both parents at a young age, such guidance is critical,” she said. “Consequently, you must give careful consideration to the choice of guardian, and you must discuss the prospects of the guardianship with those individuals you nominate.”

What about cost, and do-it-yourself wills?

“I think it’s reasonable to charge between $200 and $500 for a will,” Walton

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said. “Estate planning is more expensive, but if you need an estate planner, you can afford it. “I don’t think it’s wise for people to prepare their own will from something they found on the Internet that they hope follows North Carolina law,” she said. “The consequences for getting it wrong are huge.” Alleman said there are online do-ityourself documents “which sometimes are ‘legal,’ but unfortunately I have seen several which do not carry out my clients’ wishes effectively.” “I have seen many which end up creating a much larger work load for the executor and more fees for the estate,” she said. “If you want to save money, I recommend that you at least have an attorney review your documents to make sure they convey your wishes appropriately and will not cost your estate a lot more than you save.” Alleman said she has helped executors probate wills that were found online, and because they were inconsistent and did not give a lot of powers allowed under North Carolina

law, the cost to the estate was several thousand dollars. “When a client comes to me, it is not just the piece of paper they’re paying for; they’re paying for the advice and knowledge I have gained over 16 years of practicing law,” she said. “I know what to include in my clients’ wills to help them carry out their wishes and help their executor to handle the probate process with the least amount of hassle and fees.”

The bottom line “If you die without a will in North Carolina, the process for your heirs can be much more costly and stressful,” Alleman said. “You may amend your will at any time; in fact, it’s a good idea to review it periodically and especially if your marital status changes. “At the same time,” she said, “review your beneficiary designations for your 401(k), IRA, pension and life insurance policy since those accounts will be transferred automatically to your named beneficiaries when you die.”

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Jacob, Isabella rank as most popular names USA Today and staff reports “Twilight” is spawning more than just sequels. The film seems to be inspiring new parents. According to the Social Security Administration, Isabella (the full name of Kristen Stewart’s Bella character) replaced Emma as the most popular baby name for girls in 2009. Among the boys, Jacob (the werewolf played by Taylor Lautner) retained its 11-year-run at the top of boys list. What? No one’s on Team Edward? Edward posted only a modest rise of 11 spots on the list to reach No. 137, says the agency, but Cullen (his last name) was the fastest rising name among boys, soaring 297 places to land at No. 485. Politics also weighed in: The fastestrising girl’s name is a version of President Barack Obama’s daughter’s name, Malia.

TOP BOY NAMES TOP BOY NAMES IN IN 2009, 2009, IN N.C. NATIONALLY 1. Jacob 2. Ethan 3. Michael 4. Alexander 5. William 6. Joshua 7. Daniel 8. Jayden 9. Noah 10. Anthony

1. William 2. Jacob 3. Christopher 4. Noah 5. Joshua 6. Ethan 7. Michael 8. Alexander 9. Elijah 10. James

TOP CHANGES IN POPULARITY

Boy names Cullen, moving up 297 spots to No. 485 Jax, moving up 266 spots to No. 426 King, moving up 248 spots to No. 462 Emmett, up 215 to No. 332 Colt, up 164 to No. 370

TOP GIRL NAMES TOP GIRL NAMES IN IN 2009, 2009, IN N.C. NATIONALLY 1. Isabella 2. Emma 3. Olivia 4. Sophia 5. Ava 6. Emily 7. Madison 8. Abigail 9. Chloe 10. Mia

1. Emma 2. Madison 3. Isabella 4. Ava 5. Abigail 6. Olivia 7. Emily 8. Addison 9. Chloe 10. Sophia

Girl names Maliyah, up 342 to No. 296 Isla, up 273 to No. 346 Caylee, up 251 spots to No. 263 Kinley, up 214 spots to No. 451 Arabella, up 209 spots to No. 447 Source: Social Security Administration

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Books ease transition for new sibling By Jennifer Prince Buncombe County Public Libraries

Parents looking for ways to help a preschooler or early elementary school child adjust to the idea or the reality of a new baby brother or sister might find these new picture books useful. Each of these books presents a variation on a theme: an only child is unhappy with the arrival of a new sibling. With insight and humor, each author validates the older child’s feelings all the while hinting that new babies are not so bad after all.

Truth about babies

In Sarah Weeks’ “Sophie Peterman Tells the Truth!” straight-talking little Sophie advises new older brothers and sisters on the perils of living with a baby. Babies leak and scream a lot. They get their own way all of the time. They mess up your toys. Sophie recalls a time when her baby brother ate her lucky marble. If that happens to you, she cautions, “You can expect to get it back in about three days. But you will never, EVER, want to touch it again. EVER.” As your baby sibling gets older, Sophie says you really need to be extra vigilant especially if the baby says your name funny or claps every time you come in the room or cries when you go off to school. When that happens, you might end up liking the little critter, just like Sophie now likes her baby brother. Robert Neubecker’s illustrations are bright and effervescent. He captures Sophie’s perspective perfectly, from her pinch-nosed disgust at having to sit next to her dirty-diapered brother on a long road trip to her receding reserve when her brother first reaches out to hug her.

Getting rid of baby

In “Bye-Bye, Baby!” author Richard Morris tells the story of a little

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boy who, upon a trip to the zoo, thinks of ways he might be able to rid his family of his pesky baby sister. Leave her with the hippos? The elephants? Put her in a tree so high only the giraffes would see her? None of these possibilities pans out, of course. When the family gets ready to leave the zoo, the little boy is the one who pitches a fit, and it is his baby sister who makes things right again. Artist Larry Day ensconces the story in realistic details of day-to-day life through painstaking pencil drawings. The realism is softened with the subtle coloring wrought by applications of watercolor.

Attention-grabbing baby

In Kathi Appelt’s “BrandNew Baby Blues,” a little girl bemoans what she sees as her reduced status in the household now that her baby brother is around: “It was me and only me — I was the icing on the cake. I was the royal pooh-bah, the chocolate in the shake.” The girl expounds on the flaws of her baby brother: He is boring, he stinks, he uses her old crib and he takes up too much room in their mom’s lap. After some reassurance from her parents, the girl begins to feel her worth again — and that of her baby brother. While keeping the overall tone of the pictures relatively light, artist Kelly Murphy connects readers visually to the girl’s sad mood by using deep tints of blue and purple in each picture. Towards the end, when the girl is reassured by her parents and begins to feel happy again, the remaining illustrations are awash in yellow.

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Wrong kind of baby In Kate Feiffer’s “But I Wanted a Baby Brother!” the problem is not that there is a new baby. The problem is that the new baby is a girl. A little boy, Oliver, has wanted a baby brother his whole entire life and now this! Over the ensuing weeks, Oliver makes plans to trade his sister for his friends’ baby siblings. Then Oliver thinks he might be able to swap her out at the zoo. That does not work either. When Oliver sees a baby changing station in a public area, his hopes revive until he discovers this is not a place to change out one baby for another. After this, Oliver becomes resigned to living with his sister. He begins to see her as the precious and irreplaceable little person that she is. Using her trademark illustrating style of watercolors emboldened with black ink outlines, Diane Goode creates perfect visual complements to each part of the story. Little extras, like Oliver’s dog appearing in every picture and the exaggerated pinkness and frilliness of his sister’s wardrobe will amuse young readers. These books are available through the Buncombe County Public Libraries. Visit buncombecounty.org/library for more information.

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By Barbara Blake | WNC Parent writer

There are two constants about labor and childbirth that are true for every woman across the globe: There is pain, and there are no two experiences alike. Childbirth leaves unforgettable memories, whether they are marked primarily by a newfound level of pain, the amusing antics of a frantic husband, drama in the delivery room or hilarious events on the way to the hospital. We asked four Asheville moms to share their labor and delivery stories, for better or worse. Here’s what they said.

Adventures in childbirth Melissa Sweeterman, mother of Julia, age 1

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PHOTOS SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Luke, Melissa and Julia Sweeterman

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fter only six hours of labor, I was at 8 centimeters, and still no epidural. There was a woman that had been in labor longer than I next door, so the anesthesiologist was with her first. Obviously, I was a wreck with labor pain, and vomiting with every contraction. He finally got to me (although my doctor said at this point I’d felt the majority of the pain and could opt out of the epidural all together), but I wouldn’t even consider that one. It’s all a bit hazy to me after that, as I had caved and asked for pain medication while waiting — something I had vowed not to do in accordance with my “birth plan.” That had gone out the window once contractions started coming quickly. I had a lot of things I was planning on using for calming methods — aroma-therapy lotions, etc., but once more, out the window once that pain set in.

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My husband (Luke) told me that as soon as I was numb from the waist down, I started to apologize to all of the nurses for having been so “difficult.” He said that must’ve been a first because they were all giving me looks like I was crazy and saying, “Yeah, you were in hard labor, don’t worry about it.” I can’t even imagine the stories they have when they get home from a day of work! Julia arrived an hour later; the epidural actually slowed the labor but was well worth it. My husband was a bit bewildered when it was actually happening, and really funny once it came time to push. All I remember was an astonished look on his face and repetitive “Oh my Gods!” after the baby’s head crowned until the moment she was born. I remember Luke’s first words to our daughter were “Welcome to the mean world, baby girl.” Nice.


Lena Burns Richards, mother of Levi, age 23 months

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went into labor at 3 a.m., piddled around the house (took a shower, watched TV, etc.) until it was time to go. I woke Chris up at 5 a.m., telling him we had to go to the hospital NOW. He jumps up, runs around the house half asleep, screams, “Do we have everything? Where’s the keys? OMG you’re in labor? I have to shave! I have to shave! There will be pictures of me! I have to shave.” He runs into the bathroom and showers and shaves, and I’m stand-

Lena Burns Richards with husband Chris and baby Levi.

ing in the door like “Helloooooo, I’m in labor? Then he runs and gets the car, driving through the front yard, as close to the front door as he can get without driving onto the porch. Then in the throes of childbirth he told me I looked “like a train wreck.” He went “Blllluuuuugh” when Levi popped out — said he saw this giant head and then an eyeball looked at him. He came pretty close to passing out. All in all, pretty tame by typical comparison though.

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Adventures in childbirth Continued from Page 21

Jenny Beckwith, mother of Jaxson, age 1

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went in five days after my due date to have a stress test and an ultrasound so that they could check the amniotic fluids. As I was getting the ultrasound, I asked the tech if everything looked OK and she said, "Well, the doctor will discuss the results with you.” I said to my husband as we were waiting for the doctor to come in, "I think something is wrong," and he said, "No, they just aren’t authorized to tell you anything.” Well, sure enough, a few minutes later, I heard my doctor say to her nurse, "I am going to be in this room for quite awhile.” My husband and I looked at each other and said, “Well, that can’t be good.” She came in the room and said, “So are you ready to have a baby today?” Apparently my amniotic fluid was extremely low so they had to induce me. She said to go, pack your things, have a nice lunch, but be at the hospital at 1 p.m. My labor was very long, and they kept losing my son’s heart rate so they would have to stop the Pitocin for a while, only prolonging the labor. I started around 2:30 p.m. and very slowly progressed in my dilation. By about 10 a.m. the next day I was 8 centimeters dilated and had been for the last couple hours. The doctor came in to talk to me about options. She basically said that she just didn’t think this was going to happen, and we should maybe start discussing a C-section. This is not what I wanted to hear. I asked if there were any other options and she said, “Well, you can try to start pushing and see what happens,”

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Jenny Beckwith and her 1-year-old son Jaxson. but she said she was doubtful that this would do it. I said “I will certainly try,” and in one push I was immediately at a 10! I pushed for about an hour and they kept telling me how good of a pusher I was (I did not know I had such skills). They asked if I wanted the mirror and I said, “Sure, it might give me motivation.” Honestly, it did just the opposite. While they were telling me how good I was doing and how close I was, I just looked in that mirror and said, “I am sorry, but this is obviously not humanly possible.” But in the end it was, and out came a screaming baby boy. I will say that one thing that was a shock, especially to my husband, was that he thought it would be like in the

movies where the drape is over my legs and all the gross stuff would be under that drape and he really wouldn’t have to see any of it. He was so wrong. Basically, there is no drape and my husband was as active in the labor as the nurse was, he held one of my legs while the nurse held the other. At first he was very hesitant (he was not crazy about me even wanting a mirror) but eventually he just dug in and helped. He got so used to it that he and the nurse started chatting away about how she was from New England and we were from upstate New York, and then they started talking about Boston, to the point where I had to be like, “Um hello, down here, what should I be doing now?”

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Melissa Cole Essig, mother of Jack, 3, and Lydia, 1

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Melissa Essig about a week before climbing the fence.

ack was due on Dec. 11, but since I didn’t want a December baby, I started hoping to go into labor around Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving passed, then early December, then his due date was a distant memory and still no baby. Happily, I had already taken off work, and we were living in Southern California at the time, so I got to take long walks every day. On Dec. 22 — the Friday before Christmas — I walked the three miles to Mark’s work with him, wandered around downtown Long Beach, and then headed home. Round trip, it was about seven miles, and I was feeling great. Until I got home and realized that Mark had given me the wrong key to our duplex. Our front door had two locks, but only one was accessible from outside. We had locked the door from the inside-only lock and left through

the back door. I knew the back door was open, but a locked high iron gate to which I did not have the key stood between me and the back door. I considered knocking on the door of our upstairs neighbors to unlock the gate for me but I figured they weren’t home so I didn’t bother. Instead, I and my 9 1/2 months pregnant belly climbed over the 7-foot fence. Thank goodness for yoga. As I dropped into the yard it dawned on me — the key I had did, indeed, unlock the front door, and my certainty that it didn’t was merely a pregnancy brain moment. Just then, my upstairs neighbor walked down her stairs into the yard. I went into labor a few hours later. Plainly, Jack realized it was time to get out before I did something really stupid. Read more about Essig’s adventures in motherhood at yogamamame.com.

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MAKING ROOM FOR

BABY H

aving a new child can be one of the most exciting times in your life. But it can also be filled with plenty of trepidation, especially when considering just how many things can go wrong. Child-safety advocates say being educated about infant safety is one important way to ensure that your home is ready for a baby when the stork finally

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Be sure your home is safe for your little one

By Casey Blake | WNC Parent contributor

makes that long expected delivery. Beverly Hopps and Vickie Whitlatch, cocoordinators of WNC Safe Kids, a network of agencies led by Mission Children’s Hospital working for injury prevention in children, offered some basic suggestions for making your home safer before you bring baby home. “Parents should prepare and baby-proof before baby arrives,” Hopps said. “When a new baby enters the home, new parents can feel overwhelmed, and it’s easy to forget to make sure things are baby-proofed and safe.” “And learn how to install baby’s car seat before baby arrives as well,” Whitlatch added. “So that baby can have the safest ride home from the hospital.” While Hopps points out that all rooms have hazards, here are a few place-specific suggestions to make

the baby proofing process more thorough.

Kitchens As many people store their most hazardous products like cleaning materials and other chemicals under the sink or in lower cabinets, it’s especially important in the kitchen to see the world through a crawling baby’s eyes. “Before baby becomes an active crawler, get down on a crawler’s level,” said Hopps. “Keep medicines and other household chemicals locked up and out of baby’s reach. Also, look for things on floor level that baby can choke on or become entangled in, and look for sharp edges that baby can run into.” “Kitchens have cabinets that

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BED SAFETY TIPS Here are a few additional tips to make baby’s bed safer ◆ Use tight-fitting sheets. ◆ Make sure there are no excess stuffed animals, quilts, pillows, etc., that baby could become entangled in or suffocate on. ◆ Be sure that crib mattresses are firm, not too soft. ◆ Check that the spacing between the flats of crib spindles are no wider than 2-3 inches apart. ◆ Cribs should not be placed underneath windows, and window blinds and drapery cords should also be tied up and out of a child’s reach. ◆ Beware of crib bumpers — they pose an additional suffocation risk and limit airflow around baby while sleeping. To learn more about child safety or contact the local WNC Safe Kids coalition, visit safekids.org.

may have chemicals in them that need to be locked up so that baby cannot reach those dangerous items,” Whitlatch agreed. “But they also have potential burn hazards.” As with every level and sleeping area in the home, be sure the kitchen is equipped with smoke alarms and carbon monoxide detectors, and check them regularly. Parents can also prevent fire-related injuries by preparing an emergency escape route that includes quick access to baby. Parents should make sure the phone number for poison control — 800-2221222 — is prominently displayed somewhere in the kitchen for quick reference.

dicators to keep little ones safe. Babies can drown in an only an inch of water, so no amount of water is inconsequential. Also, when giving a baby a bath, make sure your water heater is set to 120 degrees or lower. But as Hopps is quick to point out, nothing is more effective than good oldfashioned parental supervision to keep baby out of harm’s way. “There are some gadgets that are available that can help slow down the curious toddler,” Hopps said. “But more important than any gadget is what they can’t replace — diligent parental supervision.”

Bathrooms

A child’s bedroom also needs to be carefully prepared to prevent injury and fatalities caused by SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome. While baby’s crib should have a Juvenile Products Manufacturers Association, or JPMA, certification label attest-

To avoid two of the greatest in-home dangers that can happen in the bathroom — drowning and burns — parents can purchase helpful items such as toilet locks and water temperature in-

Bedrooms

ing that the design meets that standard, the burden also lies with parents to be sure that they’re notified if cribs or other items are later declared unsafe. “Make sure you send in registration cards for new crib purchases so that if there was a recall from the manufacturer, the parent would be notified,” suggested Whitlatch, adding that these cards also typically come with other products like high chairs, play yards and swings. Even for parents using second-hand baby equipment, Hopps recommends checking regularly with the Consumer Product Safety Commission to see if the item you are using has been recalled. While any child safety advocate will tell you that keeping baby safe is a lot of work and can be a daunting task, it doesn’t have to break the bank. “In all cases,” Hopps said, “parental supervision at all times is the most inexpensive and effective way to keep your child safe.” Upstate Parent contributed to this story.

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On being (at least) a halfway decent dad

By William Tiernan WNC Parent contributor

Browse the “Family” section of any commercial bookstore and you’ll see dozens of books about parenting. But most “new parent” books are for women — “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and so on. What’s a new dad to do? One thing we don’t want to do is sift through an encyclopedia of facts and figures and articles by experts on nutrition and breast-feeding and immunizations. We want to be good dads, not grad students. What we need is a cheat sheet — something we can skim and memorize just a few hours before our leading lady is about to go into labor. So, here it is, broken down into three easy-to-consume parts. Who knew being a great new dad could be so easy? (Note: These tips are for fathers-to-be and fathers of young children. I don’t know the first thing about parenting a teenager.)

Preparation Get a job. If you’ve got a job, get a second job to pay for diapers. Give your wife foot massages. Get in shape — babies move fast! Get a decent car — one that won’t spontaneously combust when backed into by a Chevy Tahoe. Encourage Mom to express milk so you can feed the baby when Mom’s exhausted. Spring for a nice stroller — one that won’t weld your baby’s shoulders to his or her ears. Learn how to change a diaper; practice on your dog if necessary. Locate the closest zoo, library, aquar-

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SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

William Tiernan with daughter Sophia. ium and hospital. Stock up on pacifiers. Learn infant CPR. Get life insurance. Memorize some nursery rhymes. Defer to your wife on the baby’s name. Get a car seat — they won’t let you leave the hospital without one.

Upon arrival (Note: I use “her” because I have a little girl. In theory, these tactics work equally well for boys.) Get her stuffed animals that play the guitar and sing wacky songs. Sing and dance with her.

Don’t feed her hard candy the exact size of her throat. Teach her how to clap. Make her cool forts. Teach her how to throw and catch. When you put her down for a nap, let her cry; she’ll fall asleep eventually. Set up a college savings plan. And play Powerball every once in a while. You’ll have your bases covered. Change her poops immediately! Take her to the circus, but don’t sit in the first 20 rows. You want her to like animals. Take her to the park and teach her how to go down the slide. Take her to the zoo and library and aquarium; avoid the ER if possible.

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Get off the couch and spot her as she crawls up the stairs! Remember: pens, knives and forks are not toys. Read to her — a lot; get to know your board books. Practice letters and numbers with her every day. Get a digital camera and send pictures to her grandparents. In return, they’ll send new clothes and toys. Cut your toenails and clean your feet; babies live close to the ground. Share your ice cream with her. Get her in the pool and on a bike. Keep your job. Keep your second job. Make sure her first word is “Daddy!” Plan a stellar Mother’s Day!

Expectations Finally, check your expectations at the door. My wife and I are introverted, played sports in high school and college, have dark hair, and don’t have a musical bone between us. Our daughter, who just turned 3, never stops talking, fears balls and bats and sweating, has a crazy head of blond hair, and has memorized the words to “Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina” and “I Dreamed a Dream.” I have no idea if she sings these songs well, but the point is that if you’d told me three years ago my daughter would be a garrulous blonde who loved shopping and purses and dancing and singing and fairy princess dresses and all things pink, I would have said, Nope, we’re having a tomboy. Go figure. I thought my daughter’s first “class” or “camp” would be basketball or Tball or football. But at 3 p.m. today we’re putting on her leotard and heading to ballet. What can I say — kids are who they are and like what they like. As Sophia’s dad, I’ll take pirouettes over passing and punting any day. William Tiernan is an author, freelance writer and communications consultant in Asheville. He can be reached at wstiernan72@yahoo.com

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PHOTO BY JOHN FLETCHER

Jennifer and Bill Losch with their children, Rosemary and Tanner, at their home in Asheville.

Marketing mama

Jennifer Losch blends work, later-in-life parenting By Barbara Blake WNC Parent writer Jennifer Losch and her family moved to Asheville in 2007 after she spent 16 years working in ad agencies and two years as director of brand development at the Home Shopping Network in Clearwater, Fla. She now owns an Internet marketing agency, Red Dog Digital Marketing. Losch holds a B.A. in mass communica-

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tions/advertising from the University of South Florida. She and her husband, Bill Losch, a medical sales representative, are the parents of Rosemary, 4 1/2, and Tanner, 3 1/2, and are expecting a baby in February. Losch does pro bono work for the Association of Fund Raising Professionals of WNC and volunteers on the special events committee of the American Advertising Federation of Asheville. She also chairs the WNC Guatemala Adoption Group for families with

adopted children from Guatemala. Visit the group’s Facebook page, WNC Guatemala Adoption Group, for more. Q. How does a typical day for you begin? A. A typical day is getting up around 7-7:30 a.m. We have trained our kids to sleep in, and we leave milk all ready in the fridge and cereal in snap lock containers on the table, so if they get up before us they can help themselves in the kitchen and play quietly while we pretend to sleep in. It’s a nice luxury. My

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home office allows me to jump on my computer early with a cup of coffee and usually get through e-mails and the day’s to-do list before I get the kids off to school at 9 a.m. Q. What do you do you do for yourself to keep your sanity and stay healthy? A. When I have time, I occasionally sneak out during the day and take yoga or Pilates at the YMCA or grab an early morning walk and let Dad get the kids off to school. Exercise is really important for mental and physical well-being. When I’m feeling disconnected, I pray or walk in the woods. Being in nature really helps me feel more spiritually grounded. I have a few close friends that I try to connect with once a month or so over lunch, dinner or an outing. Right now I’m really looking forward to seeing “Eat, Pray, Love” with a friend. It looks like the ultimate chick flick. Q. You’ve had a big event in your life. What does that feel like? A. We recently discovered that we are expecting a little “surprise” — that is, baby No. 3, due next February. At first I was in shock and kind of freaked out. After all, what sane 44-year old woman

wants to have a baby? Then a good friend reminded me that I always say being a mom is the best thing in my life. She asked me if I’ll look back on this in 20 years and remember the sleep deprivation and hard work, or just all the love. She’s right. I’m finally getting excited and the kids are over the moon about having a baby sister or brother. Q. Is Bill a good parenting partner, as far as caring for the kids/cooking/cleaning/etc.? A. Bill is very supportive. I love to cook but hate to clean up, and he’s great at whipping the kitchen back in shape. He’s also a fanatic about mopping the kitchen floor. It’s the small stuff, you know? To give me some alone time, he takes the kids on little outings and Mommy stays home. I really appreciate that. Q. Rosemary was adopted from Guatemala. What kind of a gift has she been to you? A. I found Rosemary as a 6-week-old infant online at a site called rainbowkids.com. Bill and I were starting our journey as parents late in life and really wanted to jump start our family. We were pretty sure we wanted to go the adoption route while we were trying to get pregnant — turns out we did both.

The day I saw her little face online my heart sank, it was love at first sight. We had an instant connection. She’s like some missing part of me. My mother passed away when I was 27, and her name was Mary. I often think of Rosemary as her special gift to me. Q. Is celebrating Rosemary’s heritage important to you? A. I’ve enjoyed having a close connection to another culture/country that’s not my own. That’s a neat feeling. It’s fun talking to Rosemary about her culture, and we look forward to taking trips to Guatemala when she’s older. Q. What do you admire most about each of your children? A. Rosemary has to be the most tenacious little girl ever and so smart. I think she has a photographic memory. She’ll go far in life. Tanner is a real charmer and the most lovable child ever. Together they complete me. Q. Do you enjoy cooking? If so, what are some specialties? A. I like to cook pasta with a Mediterranean flair. Like angel hair pasta with a Continues on Page 34

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Continued from Page 33

fresh sauce made of roasted garlic and tomatoes (blend it quickly after roasting), white wine, olive oil, Greek olives — topped with sautéed shrimp, fresh basil and feta cheese. It’s quick, healthy and yummy. Q. What are the kids’ favorite meals? A. Rosemary loves shrimp, broccoli and mashed potatoes. Tanner loves chicken fingers with ranch dressing, corn on the cob and frozen blueberries (yes, frozen!). Q. What’s a favorite family activity? A. One of our favorites is biking at Biltmore along the river, taking a picnic and going to the farm. We try to spend as much time outdoors in summer as we can, but this summer has been too hot to get out as much as we’d like to. Q: What book is on your bed table? What’s in your iPod/CD player? A. I’m currently reading “Radical Forgiveness” by Colin Tipping. It’s an amazing book. I still don’t have an iPod, but I want one! I listen to Pandora during the day on my computer so I can hear a variety of music, not just what I own. Q. Any guilty pleasures? A. On occasion, I do crave high-quality dark chocolate truffles. That’s when I head to the (French Broad) Chocolate Lounge downtown. Spending $12 on a half-dozen truffles, now that’s a guilty pleasure. And I don’t share, either! Q. Any tips for other busy moms of how to juggle two kids, soon to be three, with a successful career? A. My advice is this: Want more for others than you want for yourself. And remember, the “in-box” is always full so don’t kill yourself. Life is short. Reprioritize daily to make sure you are living the life you want. Q. What’s the most rewarding part of being a mom? A. The joyous sound of children’s laughter, the seemingly endless stream of love, hugs and kisses and the sense that I am in the process of creating two wonderful and very special human beings — it’s a real gift.

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kids’ voices

My first day of school

The first day of school is a momentous occasion, even when you’re an old-timer entering third grade. We asked students in Tonya Johnson’s third-grade class at New City Christian School on Walton Street to reflect on the beginning of the new school year, and some of the fun or interesting things they did and learned. Here’s what they told Staff Writer Barbara Blake. “We went outside and played football and basketball, and my cousins come here, so that makes it fun. We learned the school declaration, and we learned how to follow directions quickly.” Kyeniase Burgin, age 9

“The most amazing thing that happened was Mr. Fuller doing funny things, and we made up games and played them. We learned all about the rules of the school, but it was all in a fun way.” Jeani Holloway, age 8

“We got to have a snack, and mine was chips. We played basketball. I like to read a little bit, but my favorite subject is math, and my next favorite is science. I think a perfect mix at school would be a little book learning and a little playtime outside.” Logan Glover, age 8

“I learned about discipline — that’s what happens if you did something and it wasn’t the right choice. I learned about lining up, with my hands behind my back, and not messing with anybody, and I didn’t scoot up or make anybody move. It was easy.” Kyree Tucker, age 8

“We told stories, and some of them made everybody laugh. We learned that you have to listen to what your teacher tells you, and we learned about God, and we learned a song, kind of like a pledge, about our school.” Justin Campbell, age 8

“We went outside and played kickball and basketball. At this school, we get to learn about God, and we didn’t get to do that at my other school.” Mia Young, age 8

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Online bonds

of parenthood

Sarah Carzoli, right, and her daughter Mia, 13, in the family’s basement office where Carzoli keeps in touch with mothers from around the world.

By Elizabeth Weise USA Today

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t takes a village to raise children, and Sarah Carzoli’s is a big one. It stretches from her home in Crystal Lake, Ill., to Australia, Paris, London, Canada, Israel and Milwaukee. She joined the online group of parents she calls “her moms” on Mother’s Day 1996. They’ve shared bottle battles, potty training, sleep deprivation, divorce and death across glowing screens that have sometimes brought them closer to women they may never have met in person than the folks next door. “I would leave my daughter with any of these women in a heartbeat,” Carzoli says. Their group was the leading edge of

what has blossomed into a key part of parenting in some circles: the electronic mailing list, or listserv. In many cities and neighborhoods across the country, these e-mail groups are creating — or re-creating — supportive and sometimes intimate connections of the kind that once happened over the backyard fence or at the local coffee klatch. They’re giving new parents the on-the-ground knowledge they need to cope with everything from what stroller to buy to dealing with potential child predators, says Liliana Lengua, a profesContinues on Page 38

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Online bonds Continued from Page 36

sor of child psychology at the University of Washington.

Born on playgrounds

Yahoo and Google groups, which are free and easy to set up, are a popular place to put listservs. (Gannett, which owns the Asheville Citizen-Times and USA TODAY, offers dozens of free MomsLikeMe.com lists in 40 states. The Citizen-Times offers WNCmom.com.) Though across-the-board numbers aren’t available, there are thousands of lists nationwide with tens of thousands of members. Search “parents” on Yahoo alone, and 79,530 different groups come up. Some are very specific, such as groups for parents of children with autism (14,639 members). But the vast majority are simply local parents, most of them mothers, who hear about a group at the playground, sign up and start chatting. They can be small — the East Atlanta Parents Association list has 201 members. Or they can be huge — Peachhead2, a list for Los Angeles families, has 10,970. Carzoli’s was one of the first. Her local newspaper ran an Associated Press story in September 1996 about an online group starting up for mothers due to give birth. That article appeared worldwide, and more than 100 soon-to-be parents signed up. Fourteen years later, 74 of them are still on the list, which began on a parenting site that has since disappeared and finally ended up on Yahoo in 2001. There’s an underlying respect on the lists and a growing closeness that allows for the kind of discussions you can’t have with just anyone, Carzoli says: “There was a thread this week about chin hairs and aging.”

Finding a community

These lists facilitate a kind of information exchange and intimacy that make up for today’s compartmentalized world, which can leave parents, especially new parents, with no one to turn to. “It’s an indicator of what parents don’t find but what they need, which is a natural com-

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HOW TO GET TOGETHER WITH OTHER PARENTS ONLINE How to start a parents’ e-mail list: ◆ Choose a host ◆ Google and Yahoo groups are popular: groups.google.com, groups.yahoo.com ◆ Create a group ◆ Simple neighborhood or city names are clearest, like “Fremont Parents” or “Marmet Moms.” Most lists require members to identify themselves to the list moderator, to cut down on spam. ◆ Post notices at your local library, school or park ◆ Chat it up at the playground. Once a group gets 20 or so members, it tends to take off on its own. ◆ Ask a few questions to get the discussion going. Some Asheville area parents’ groups On Yahoo: Ashevillemamas (for “mamas with ‘personality’”), home-asheville (secular home-schooling), WNC-Homeschoolers, psykids (spiritual and psychic sensitivities). munity,” Lengua says. At their most basic, these lists are simple e-mail lists. A parent writes a message, “Where can I get my 13-yearold’s ears pierced?” and it goes out as an e-mail to everyone on the list. The fun is in the meandering threads of conversation. A topic on where to buy the best Jedi Knight birthday cake can quickly veer into whether plastic light sabers violate the “no weapons” rule at preschool. Most lists try to tone down any discord, though there are always topics certain to provoke strong reactions — circumcision, breast-feeding vs. bottle, vaccinations and training babies to sleep. But mostly they’re about a support group for parents who don’t have the strong family and neighborhood networks their mothers and grandmothers might have had, says Christine Carter, a sociologist at the University of California-Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center: “These online parent groups have really exploded because they’re looking to each other for support and advice.”

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Babymoons rejuvenate expectant parents By Jessica Bliss Gannett Three months after getting married, Amanda McNeal found out she was pregnant. “I thought, ‘This is going to be it,’ ” she said. “ ‘I am going to have a baby and no more fun time.’ ” Then she came across a website post about babymoons. Why not, she thought? So she started planning a trip to Arizona, where she and her husband could enjoy one last getaway as a couple before the arrival of their first child. Ever since the term “babymoon” was coined by a journalist in 2004, pre-baby vacations have been a hot travel trend, and with good reason. Once the bundle of joy arrives, any and all excursions will require sippy cups, bibs and diaper bags, so expectant couples are seizing the opportunity for one last romantic getaway. From lavish to low-key, trips range from cross-country dream vacations to simple driving getaways. Some resorts and hotels cater specifically to babymooners, putting foods typically craved on their menus, adding prenatal massages to packages and creating special baby-themed gift baskets. Agenda and location aside, babymoons seem to leave a lasting impression. “I just can’t stress how it was just the greatest thing,” said McNeal, who is now mom to 10 1/2-month-old Julia. “I would recommend to everyone to take one before the baby arrives, because Continues on Page 44

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TIPS FOR BABYMOON TRAVEL ◆ Time your travel appropriately: The first trimester often involves fatigue and nausea. The third trimester can come with airline travel restrictions and a chance of going into labor while on vacation. That makes the second trimester the best time to travel. ◆ Be reasonable: Remember that the goal of the babymoon is rest and relaxation. A five-hour airport layover or a 13-hour cross-country car ride is stressful, so try to avoid such things. ◆ Bring your records: Just in case you need medical care while you’re away, take along your obstetrician’s contact information and a copy of your medical records. And let your doctor know of your plans, so he or she can offer input. ◆ Scope out vacation-area medical care: Before you leave, find the doctor nearest to your destination in case of an emergency. ◆ Don’t be afraid to cancel: Listen to your body. If you have bleeding, abdominal pain or other signs of complications, you need to stay home. Consider purchasing travel insurance for reimbursement if your plans change. ◆ Don’t forget the essentials: Pack an extra pillow for comfort, your prenatal vitamins, medical information, insurance card, sunscreen, pregnancysafe bug repellent, comfortable shoes, maybe a pair of maternity stockings — and lots and lots of snacks! ODDS AND ENDS ◆ If you go to the spa, make sure your massage therapist knows you’re pregnant. ◆ If you leave the country, ask your doctor for the proper vaccines, and make sure they’re safe for the baby. Find out if blood supplies in your destination are screened, just in case. ◆ If you are trying exotic food, only eat items that are properly prepared and well-cooked to avoid harmful bacteria and germs. Make sure milk is pasteurized and drinking water is safe.

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Babymoons Continued from Page 42

‘vacation’ is a distant word to me right now.”

Not just for first-timers

Babymoons aren’t just for couples who are expecting their first child, either. They can also be escapes for small families that are about to expand. That’s how Ginger-Rose Krueck approached it. Three years ago, she gave birth to Janesta Riley. Back then, she and her husband didn’t consider a babymoon. In fact, they had never heard of the term. While pregnant with her second child, Krueck read about the pre-baby vacations on MomsLikeMe.com, and decided to plan one with her husband and daughter. The quick trip to Florida over the Fourth of July weekend was an opportunity for the Krueks to appreciate being a family of three for just a little while longer. They didn’t plan anything extravagant, just an overnight stay with a rela-

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tive in Pensacola, then a drive to the Atlantic beaches. And along the way, Kruek embraced Janesta’s quickly disappearing “babyness” before entering into a new family dynamic. “I (looked) forward to that last chance to breathe,” said Kruek, who was due Aug. 12. “The chance to watch Janesta interact with my husband and to enjoy what my family is right now, before everything changes. I (wanted) to savor those moments.”

Couples can reconnect

McNeal’s babymoon motivation was also to capture those last fleeting prebaby moments, as well as cultivate a little R&R. She and her husband, Jarred, stayed at the Wigwam Golf Resort & Spa outside of Phoenix. The hotel offered a special babymoon package with some spa perks, McNeal said, but the couple preferred to design their own stay. They began their trip with a spa day that included massages, body scrubs, facials, pedicures and manicures. They spent day two at the pool. Then the cou-

SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Couples are increasingly planning "babymoons" to get in some relaxation time before baby arrives. ple drove to Sedona to shop, peruse art stores, eat ice cream and have dinner overlooking the red rock bluff. Another shopping day was scheduled in Scottsdale, and then a stop at the Desert Botanical Gardens, where they enjoyed a Dale Chihuly art exhibit. Other than a few discussions about baby names, there was very little pregnancy talk. Which was just perfect. “Before we left, we were so wrapped up in the baby that we were already starting to not take time for us,” McNeal said. “On our trip . . . we reconnected with each other. We were just a couple in love again.”

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growing together

The toughest job you’ll ever love

By Chris Worthy WNC Parent columnist

Are you happy? That’s the question being asked of moms these days following “All Joy and No Fun: Why Parents Hate Parenting,” a New York Magazine story by Jennifer Senior. The Internet is sizzling with debate about whether those without children are happier than their diaper bag-toting friends. Senior’s story refers to the drudgery and “brutal reality” of children — the all-consuming nature of parenting that seems only to be enjoyable through reflection obtained when years separate the memory from the work at hand. How’s that for birth control? I think there is a grain of universal truth to this notion, as much as I hate to

admit it. I contend that any mom who doesn’t admit to at least a few days of wanting to fake her own death and run away to the Caribbean isn’t being entirely honest. I may or may not have mapped out a few scenarios in my mind over the years. The reality — and indeed it is often brutal — is that parenting is the toughest job in the world. It is physically, mentally, emotionally and financially draining at times. Sitting on the cold kitchen floor at 3 a.m. with a baby who will not stop crying, while you also have mastitis and a 9 a.m. meeting at work is pretty far removed from the hormonal euphoria of a positive pregnancy test. But aren’t all difficult things better when filtered through the lens of time? I would never define college by stressful midnight cram sessions or marriage by the push and pull of two different per-

sonalities. Life is a total package. If you take only the sweet, the easy and the surmountable, any pursuit lessens in value. The ultimate truth, I think, is that the days of parenting can be very long, but the years are very short. It may sound trite, but happiness comes and goes every day, often many times throughout the day. Joy is set apart from momentary circumstances. It provides the means to get through the tough times and then file off the rough edges of those memories as crying babies learn to walk and run and drive. Are you happy? I hope so. More importantly, I hope you find joy in your life, even on the long days. The memories may indeed be gilded one day but I don’t know any parent who would trade them. E-mail Chris Worthy at chris@worthyplace.com.

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s! Know your online limit

Schedule offline times!

Plugged-in parents put family time in peril the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Initiative on Technology and Self. “None of these things are good. They deteriorate our relationships with family and friends. What children want and need is full attention.”

By Catherine E. Toth Gannett When Jennifer Bowers Pang gave birth three years ago, she was back to running her boutique public relations firm within a week, mostly from her smart phone. The 36-year-old mom from Honolulu — and stepmom to a teenage son — is rarely without her HTC Touch Pro2 or laptop, both enabled with wireless Internet. She’s logged on at work functions, swim lessons, volleyball games, on vacation and in parking lots. In fact, her 3-year-old son, Kailoa, is swept up in her plugged-in lifestyle, too. To distract him, especially when they’re out to dinner, Pang calls up cartoons on her smart phone and hands it to him. “I feel extremely guilty about this, but at the same time, he’s happy watching ‘The Lion King’ and I’m able to have a conversation about something other than Thomas the Tank Engine with my husband,” Pang said. “My son now sees the phone and wants to watch (shows on it). He gets pretty frustrated when I explain they are only for restaurants, and then he starts asking me when we are going to a restaurant.” Pang is not alone. Plugged-in par-

Get over

Real face time

ents everywhere are finding it difficult to balance work obligations, social connections and home life, often doing exactly what they complain their kids do too much: texting, Tweeting and checking their Facebook pages. And the results are worrisome: Child-development researchers point at parents’ use — or overuse — of technology as a potential problem for their kids, who may feel neglected or, maybe worse, learn to model the behavior. “(Children) learn that, in the middle of a conversation, they can pick up a call or respond to a text. In essence, they learn that they can put other people on ‘pause,’ ” said Sherry Turkle, director of

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yourself!

For her book, “Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other” (Basic Books, January 2011), Turkle interviewed children who told stories about being read to by parents who were simultaneously scrolling through text messages, of getting picked up at school by parents who never look up from their BlackBerrys. “Reading, school pickups, watching television and, most of all, dinner — these are times that should be ‘sacred places’ for parents and children together,” Turkle said. For Robi Ludwig, psychotherapist and mother of two in Manhattan, her BlackBerry is her mobile office. But she knows the importance of real face-toface time with her family, enforcing a no-technology rule at the dinner table. The one-on-one communication, even just at dinnertime, makes children feel important while allowing parents to

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model the kind of interpersonal social skills many tech-dependant kids today desperately need, she said. “So much of their interpersonal skills can atrophy if you don’t deliberately make interventions,” said Ludwig, a contributor for Care.com. “You want them to be able to look somebody in the eye and shake their hands.” Distracted parents aren’t a new concept. Before iPhones and Facebook, parents sought escape — and still do — through television, social groups, drug use, exercise, extramarital affairs, even work. Being distracted isn’t the problem, experts say. It’s being distracted too much, too often. “There’s a myth about parenthood, that the giving is un-ending,” Ludwig said. “Parents give and give and give. But they can only give to a certain point.

CONNECT WITHOUT DISCONNECTING Here are some ways to stay connected with your kids and disconnected from your BlackBerry: ◆ Get over yourself. Even doctors have days off. “You’re not that important you need to be linked in 24-7,” said Robi Ludwig, psychotherapist and mother of two. ◆ Schedule offline times. This is especially important for parents who work at home. Carve out specific times, such as during dinner or on weekends, you will turn off your computer and cell phone. “It has to be a deliberate decision,” Ludwig said. “Be in the present and try to make that experience with your kids as exciting and as interesting as you can.”

◆ Know your online limits. If that means actually logging on how many hours you spend on e-mail or social media sites, do it. And like with your kids, you should set limits on how much time you spend online. “If you think you’re on Facebook too much and ignoring your children,” said mom blogger Cathy Hale, “you probably are.” ◆ Aim for moderation. You don’t need to give up technology altogether. It’s about learning how to balance it with your other priorities. Your use of technology may shape the way your kids use it, too. “Too much of a good thing is always bad,” Hale said. “If they want to play video games, there will be rules. If

they want to text, there will be limits. I want them to enjoy the benefits of technology like we do, but I hope they will do it responsibly.” ◆ Remember what’s most important. You only have this time with your kids once. Make it count. “If my daughter needs me more than usual, then I cancel our plans and keep the computer off and spend time with her,” said mom Sarah Christensen. “I will have plenty of opportunities to interact with other people when she needs me less. In the meantime, she is my priority and I refuse to compromise her needs for my desire to peruse social media sites.”

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Plugged in peril Continued from Page 47

There’s a point of no return, of burnout, and I think parents need to give themselves permission to take care of themselves.”

Striking a balance

Aim fo

r mod

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eratio

n!

Cathy Hale, mother of two young boys and full-time blogger in Austin, Texas, remembers her mom “escaping” by catching up on her soap operas or phoning friends. But, she counters, “she was extremely attentive as a mother. She just had her own brand of distractions here and there.” Hale, who spends hours a day on social media sites — even on the weekends — and does more than half of her work from her BlackBerry, finds technology to be more of a benefit to parenting than a distraction.

She can pick up groceries or take her sons to the pool without missing an important call. She can post updates online about milestones in her kids’ lives, like when her son lost his first tooth. She constantly texts her husband about the kids and loves the ease and speed of communication smart phones provide. “Yes, there are times when I just have to be a distracted parent and I feel bad about that,” Hale said. “But the benefits of mobile technology definitely outweigh the challenges.” Like many parents who work at home, Hale tries to do the bulk of her work when her kids are in school, busy with

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homework or asleep. She feels the pressure, too, of being the kind of parent who can do it all. “I think we’ve created this fastpaced world ourselves and now we’re not quite sure how to slow it down,” she said. “Our children are being raised in a world of instant gratification. It’s hard to imagine the impact that will have on them generations from now.”

Taking care of the child The impact now, though, is tangible and real, experts say. And parents need to think about the consequences of that text, tweet or status update. “It really depends on the child,” Ludwig said. “Some can become insecure, others may model their behavior after their parents. Neglected children who feel, in extreme cases, that their parents don’t really care about what’s going on their lives may find different ways to soothe themselves that may not be healthy. They might get into trouble or try to get any attention, even negative.” What children need, experts argue, is quality face-to-face time, for parents to show them that they’re more important than that new photo album a coworker posted on Facebook. “It’s not enough to be in the room and keep the child safe,” said Dana McDermott, associate professor at the DePaul University School for New Learning, developmental psychologist and certified family life educator. “They need to feel that the parent is in the moment with them and focused on the moment and connection.” Sarah Christensen, a 25-year-old mother of an 11-month-old daughter in a suburb of Los Angeles, made a commitment to limiting her technology use, despite running her photography business online. She and her husband, Donald, have a strict no-computer policy when their baby, Charlotte, is awake. And she’ll forgo logging onto Twitter and Facebook — both platforms that help her promote her business and stay connected to family and friends — in favoring of snuggling with her baby. “She’s only this little once,” Christensen said.

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the artful parent

Art is for toddlers!

By Jean Van’t Hul WNC Parent columnist

If you think your toddler is too young for art and crafts, think again. Children as young as a year can be introduced to art, whether as scribbling, fingerpainting or doing simple crafts. The process (rather than the product) is especially important for the toddler years as they will simply be exploring the materials, the tools and what their bodies are capable of — all while developing fine motor skills and having fun! You can begin by handing your 1-year-old a chunky crayon while he’s sitting in his high chair. Yes, he will taste it; don’t worry, just supervise closely. Place a sheet of paper on his tray and make a few marks or scribbles on it to show what it is for, then replace your paper with a fresh sheet so your toddler can try it. Other introductory art activities include fingerpainting, squishing playdough, and making sticker and tape collages. Remember to use art products that are labeled nontoxic and washable. This is especially important

PHOTOS BY JEAN VAN’T HUL

Introduce your toddler to art by taping a piece of paper to her high chair and letting her experiment with a fat crayon. with toddlers since they are likely to taste the art materials and get them on their skin. In addition to traditional children’s art supplies, there are eco art supplies, such as those made by Clementine Art (available at Greenlife), that are made from all-natural ingredients, or you can make your own. Jean Van’t Hul blogs about children’s art and creativity at The Artful Parent (www.artfulparent.typepad.com).

Contact paper collage Your toddler will love observing how things stick to the sticky contact paper. Clear contact paper (available with the shelf liners at the grocery store, drug store, and art supply store) Tape Collage items, including paper pieces (perhaps pre-cut into geometric shapes), tissue paper pieces, string, ribbon or leaves Cut off a piece of the contact paper and tape

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it to the table, sticky side up (pull off the protective sheet to expose the sticky side). Let your toddler explore the sticky nature of the contact paper with her hands if she likes. Offer a selection of collage items and encourage her to stick them to the contact paper. When the collage is finished, add another sheet of contact paper on top, so the collage items are sandwiched between the two sheets of contact paper. Hang in the window as a suncatcher.

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Girls reach puberty earlier USA Today American girls are hitting puberty earlier than ever — a change that puts them at higher risk for behavioral problems as adolescents and breast cancer as adults, a new study shows. About 15 percent of 1,239 girls studied showed the beginnings of breast development at age 7, according to an article in last month’s Pediatrics journal. One in 10 white girls. twice as many as in a 1997 study, showed breast growth by that age, as did 23 percent of black girls and 15 percent of Hispanic girls. The median age of breast development fell from 10.9 years in 1991 to 9.9 in 2006, according to a Danish study published in Pediatrics last year. The new study doesn’t explain why girls are developing earlier, but it did find heavier girls with a higher bodymass index were more likely than others to begin puberty early, says pediatrician Frank Biro, director of adolescent medicine at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center. A third of children are now overweight, and the early puberty trend could be related to the obesity epidemic, says Marcia Herman-Giddens of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill. A growing number of researchers also are concerned about hormonedisrupting chemicals in the environment. Animal studies suggest that many environmental toxins can affect the age of puberty, although scientists aren’t yet sure exactly how they affect people. Suspect chemicals include pesticides used in farms and lawns, flame retardants found in furniture and electronics, and bisphenol A, or BPA, an estrogen-like ingredient found in plastic bottles and the linings of metal food and beverage cans, Biro says. Hitting puberty at a young age can be confusing and distressing, HermanGiddens says. It also increases the odds that girls will develop low self-esteem, eating disorders and depression.

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Jack Otten, 7 months, tries out some goggles. Submitted by mom Erinn, of Fletcher.

Alexa Fernandez, 4, admires her pink hair. Submitted by her mom, Lissa. They live in Clyde.

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Edie Marie Gerken, 1, plays on Jockey’s Ridge on the Outer Banks. Submitted by mom Juli. They live in Asheville.

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We welcome photos of your children. Send highresolution images, along with names, ages and hometowns of everyone pictured. Include your name, address and phone number. Send to Katie Wadington by e-mail at kwadington@citizen-times.com or to WNC Parent Photos, P.O. Box 2090, Asheville, NC 28802.


Elijah Fisher, 14 months, lives in Waynesville. Submitted by his mom, Julia.

Jeremiah Stokely, 6, is ready for water fun at a summer birthday party. Submitted by his mom, Latonya Caldwell, of Asheville.

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area story times Buncombe County Public Libraries

Visit buncombecounty.org Black Mountain, 250-4756 Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Mother Goose Time: 11:30 a.m. Tuesday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday East Asheville, 250-4738 Story Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday and Saturday Enka-Candler, 250-4758 Mother Goose Time: 11:30 a.m. Thursday Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday Fairview, 250-6484 Mother Goose Time: 10:30 a.m. Tuesday Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Leicester, 250-6480 Mother Goose Time: 11:30 a.m. Tuesday Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday North Asheville, 250-4752 School Age Storytime: 3:15 p.m. Thursday Story Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Wednesday Oakley/South Asheville, 250-4754

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Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Toddler Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Story Time: 10 a.m. Wednesday Skyland/South Buncombe, 250-6488 Story Time: 10:30 a.m. Thursday Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesday Swannanoa, 250-6486 Story Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Thursday Weaverville, 250-6482 ◆ Sept. 1, 2 and 7: Kindermusik’s Yvette O’Dell will visit Weaverville Library’s Mother Goose Time, 11 a.m. Sept. 1; Toddler Time, 11 a.m. Sept. 2; and Family Story Time, 11 a.m. Sept. 7. Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Toddler Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Story Time: 11:15 a.m. Tuesday West Asheville, 250-4750 Mother Goose Time: 11 a.m. Monday Toddler Time: 11 a.m. Wednesday Story Time: 11 a.m. Thursday Storyline Call 250-5437 for a story anytime.

Haywood County Public Library

Visit haywoodlibrary.org. Waynesville, 452-5169 Baby Rhyme Time: 11 a.m. Mondays Movers and Shakers: 11 a.m. Thursdays Family story time: 11 a.m. Wednesdays Ready 4 Learning: 2 p.m. Wednesdays Canton, 648-2924 Family story time: 11:15 a.m. Tuesdays Mondays with Ms. Lisa: 3:30 p.m. Mondays

Henderson County Public Library

Visit henderson.lib.nc.us. Main, 697-4725 Bouncing Babies: 11 a.m. Wednesdays and Thursdays Toddler Time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays Preschool story time: 10:30 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays 4 o’clock Craft Club (kindergarten-fifth grades): 4 p.m. Thursdays (September, November only) Edneyville, 685-0110 Family story time: 10 a.m. Mondays

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librarian’s pick

Savor the quiet of ‘The Quiet Book’

By Jennifer Prince Buncombe County Public Libraries

The first line of the poem “Desiderata” reads, “Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.” The world is a loud, busy place, and it grows louder and busier every day. A slew of makelife-easier gadgets keeps everyone in contact with everyone all of the time. Every keyboard, screen and phone blinks, buzzes, rings and squawks for human input, and yet … and yet there is quiet to be had. A wise new children’s book is all about quiet. Written by Deborah Underwood and illustrated by Renata Liwska, it is entitled simply “The Quiet Book.” Everything about this book suggests quiet. The book is smaller than most picture books. The cover shows only the title and a few woodland animals against a foggy gray-green background. As if in mute rebellion to the pick-me-up-and-buy me gimmicks of some book covers, there is no subtitle,

and the author’s and illustrator’s names do not appear on the cover, only on the title page. In spare, lyrical prose Underwood explains that “there are many kinds of quiet.” Some of the quiets are peaceful and have no expectations. There is the “Don’t scare the robin quiet” and “Best friends don’t need to talk quiet.” Other quiets are anticipatory like “Top of the roller coaster quiet” and “Right before you yell ‘SURPRISE!’ quiet.” While Underwood’s choice of words is lovely and masterful, it is what lingers in the empty spaces and behind the letters that evoke something wondrous. Underwood’s hushed tone and deliberate wording insist gently that the reader slow down. In slowing down, the mind has time to process meaning. The mind can ponder each quiet and come up with its own picture of what quiet looks like and feels like in his or her world. Furthermore, Underwood’s quiets are nearly ubiquitous. Few are those who could not relate to and respond to “hide-and-seek

quiet” and savoring a taste in “lollipop quiet.” In the illustrations, Liwska does not use speech bubbles or motion-indicating lines. Rather, she adheres to that which suggests calm. She shows no humans, only sweet, docile animals. The sweetness of the animals steers clear of treacle thanks to Liwska’s choice of colors. Rendered primarily in greens, blues, and browns, each picture has a shadowy brown tint to it. The look is that of aged, time-worn paper. Do not pass up this book. While it certainly has a place as a bedtime readaloud to share with kids, it has broader applications as well. Do not just read it, but contemplate on it. If finding time for one more thing, even quiet, seems impossible, at least recognize the quiets that, according to this book, are in place already. This quiet book — and some loud ones — are available through the Buncombe County Public Libraries. Visit buncombecounty.org/library.

Barnes & Noble

◆ 3 p.m. Sept. 5: Story time: At the Fair. Hear stories about the fair, plus ge ta game card with sights to find at the Mountain State Fair. Winner gets a signed copy of “Fabulous Fair Alphabet” by Debra Frasier. Ages 4-8. Free. ◆ Tuesdays, 10:30 a.m. (ages 3-5) and 3:30 p.m. (ages 5-7).

area story times Etowah, 891-6577 Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Tuesdays Preschool story time: 11 a.m. Tuesdays Fletcher, 687-1218 Bouncing Babies: 11:15 a.m. Wednesdays Toddler Time: 10 a.m. Wednesdays Preschool story time: 10:30 a.m. Wednesdays Green River, 697-4969 Family story time: 10 a.m. Thursdays Mills River, 890-1850 Family story time: 11 a.m. Tuesdays and Thursdays

Asheville Mall, 296-7335 11 a.m. Mondays (toddlers) and 2 p.m. Saturdays (young readers). Biltmore Park, 687-0681 11 a.m. Wednesdays (toddlers) and 2 p.m. Sundays.

Spellbound Children’s Bookshop

19 Wall St., Asheville, 232-2228, spellboundchildrensbookshop.com

Blue Ridge Books

152 S. Main St., Waynesville, 456-6000 10 a.m. Tuesdays (ages 3 and younger)

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divorced families

Pregnancy, newborns and divorce By Trip Woodard WNC Parent columnist

As a “modern type guy,” I wanted to do everything I could to support my son’s mother in the birth of our child, so we attended Lamaze classes together. I’ll never forget when our trainer showed our class two videos of what can happen in childbirth. In the first video, the mother appeared to blink and the child was born. The second film looked like something out of the “Exorcist,” with the mother doing a lot of screaming. This was good because it encouraged the father to stay way out of grab-and-choke range. Our instructor said the odds were that our experience was going to be somewhere in the middle. I didn’t take any chances, however, and remembered to stand out of the grab-and-choke range during the birth of our son, just in case. Pregnancy and childbirth can pose even more challenges for those going through the separation/divorce process. Here are some of the more common problems along with possible solutions. ◆ Grief. Not having that “ideal experience” of a responsible partner to be involved in the joy of childbirth can hit some people with feelings of anger, hurt and depression. The idea of anyone choosing to initiate a separation/divorce during pregnancy may come as a shock in itself. Unfortunately, people can do this if they feel the pregnancy was not a mutual decision and that they are consequently “trapped.” This is particularly more likely to happen in situations where someone believes that pregnancy is a sure thing to save an already troubled marriage. In these cases, the best you may be able to do is ask friends or relatives to be your “support person” during childbirth. At my Lamaze class, I met several people who had friends attending who

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took the class for that purpose. (They, as a bonus, did not even seem to be remotely concerned about standing out of the grab-and-choke range.) Let your friends (who may be relatives) be your friends during this important time in your life. If your depression, however, is causing problems to the point that you are not paying attention to necessary selfcare during the pregnancy, then consider seeking professional help and support. This applies to both mothers and fathers. ◆ Worry about legal parental child care. OK, here is Custody 101. In North Carolina, there is sole and joint custody. Sole custody means the court has determined that one parent has primary decision-making ability concerning the newborn. Joint custody means both parents share in decision-making concerning the child’s future, such as education, recreation and religious involvement. The regional and national trend is to try to make joint custody work, if at all possible. Within the custody arrangement, the child’s physical residence with each parent can be determined. Contrary to what some believe, there is not necessarily a bias in the courts that a mother is better equipped to take adequate care of an infant over a father. In this arena, you must carefully look at all the options via consultation from your attorney, the Internet and the experiences of others who have been through the same process. As a general rule, custody arrangements may become more detailed depending on the amount of conflict between parents. This can include decisions such as where and when the child is exchanged between households, how holidays are managed, and more specific child support arrangements like preparation for college funding. Children do benefit from having both parents in their lives, but this is sometimes not realistic because of such things like substance abuse issues or a history of domestic violence. Get specific legal

consultation about this. ◆ General guilt and fear about the future. Some parents fall into comparing the projected life of their child with their own upbringing, media images or the family lifestyles of their friends. This is not fair to you or your child. There are many wonderful people in this world who are the product of single parents, foster care and adoptions. I often reassure children that I see in my practice that family will always consist of people who love you. And this can be a substantial group of people. Now about the question you are really curious about. No, I did not get grabbed or choked. Painkillers can be wonderful things. Trip Woodard is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a clinical member of the N.C. Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Contact him at 6068607.

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parenting in a nutshell

Birth order can impact temperament

By Doreen Nagle Gannett

Behavioral scientists and researchers at the Child Development Institute say there are enough similarities in oldest, youngest and middle children that indicate birth order can play a role in behavior. Do the following traits ring true in your family?

Firstborn New parents generally worry more than experienced parents. First-time parents are unsure about what to expect (even with the advice and warnings of experienced parents as well as experts) and treat each new phase of their child’s development as a miracle. This adds to firstborn children’s tendency to be very critical of themselves, sometimes bordering on perfectionism. These children may also believe that their way is the only way, causing them to have difficult relation-

ships with peers. By the time a second child arrives, the firstborn is used to being the leader and in charge. A firstborn child can take criticism very hard. One solution: Admitting your own mistakes will help this child relax. (Note: Only children are likely to have some of the same characteristics.)

cation because middle children may not be as likely to talk about their feelings as their siblings. Also, make time alone for you and your middle child.

Youngest child

If there is only one other older sibling, the youngest child may develop some of the characteristics of a middle child. The Middle children youngest child may be more outgoing Much is talked about the middle child. because he has to learn to get along with peers more readily. Parents may shape By the time a middle child comes along the youngest child’s personality because (this can include not only the second child, but the third, fourth, etc.), another they don’t want their youngest child to grow up — they don’t want to let go of child has already established herself as having a “baby” in the house. They may the leader. Middle children may have a difficult time getting a parent’s undivided cater too much to this child or be too attention; they must negotiate a place for permissive. Thus, this child may expect everyone else to serve his needs. themselves. In order to stand out, the Characteristics of the youngest child middle child may develop a different may also apply to an only child. temperament or personality than other E-mail Doreen Nagle at siblings. This may make him more of a discipline problem. Encourage communi- doreennagle@yahoo.com.

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home-school happenings

The economics of home-schooling By Nicole McKeon WNC Parent columnist So… is everyone feeling the pinch? Yup. It seems like the economic “downturn,” as all the talking heads on television like to call it, has caught up with peoples’ pocketbooks. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe we all need to cut back and learn to be happy with less. I asked some of my home-schooling friends what they do to save money and make their dollars stretch, and I would like to share some of their very excellent ideas. The first thing most home-schooling families do is budget. Yes, that ugly word that makes most of us shudder. They actually sit down around the table and come up with a plan based on how much they realistically can afford. Which means that sometimes, they can’t always do or get everything they would like to. Sometimes they tell their kids “no.” Most of the home-schooling moms and dads I know really know how to shop. They hit the sales, with a list in hand, and purchase only what they need. Coupons are a home-schooler’s best friend. Some of the ones we use at our house frequently are the 50 percent off deals you can get at A.C. Moore (join their e-mail list at acmoore.com), and the educators discount deals at BooksA-Million and Barnes and Noble. To save money on shopping for food, many families shop at more than one store. Armed with the meal plan for that week, many of us shop Aldi, Amazing Savings, Grocery Outlet and Dickies. Yes, sometimes you have to go into the

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less fancy places to get what you need at an affordable price. If someone sees a sale, it is often posted on one of the web groups. Also, many families purchase previously used curriculum. We have recently decided as a family to help facilitate this process by opening a used curriculum store. As many of you have told me, and as I have admitted here, sometimes you buy something that just doesn’t work. It looks beautiful, sounds great, but doesn’t work for your child. That beautiful curriculum then takes up residence on the shelf, forgotten except for when you look at it and cringe, thinking about the money you wasted. It’s really great when you can sell it. It helps you to earn back some of what you spent, and it helps another community member by providing the curriculum at a lower price. We’ve also been blessed by friends who have traded or loaned books to us for a period of time. For example, this semester my daughter needed a copy of “The Unabridged Works of William Shakespeare.” Friends are lending us a copy until we figure out if we need to actually purchase this book. Always ask around before you buy. With school supplies on sale, you can get scissors for 20 cents a pair, crayons for 20 cents a box, etc. But shop with a list so you purchase only what you need. I clean out the storage room before we start shopping and inventory what we own. You can’t believe how much shopping I do in my own house! Once I take an inventory, I make a list and try to stick to it. It’s a tough time for everyone, but I

am glad I live in a community of homeschoolers where helping each other is standard operating procedure. If you’ve got something to lend, or need something and can’t afford it, I suggest you put out a message about your need. You might not get the exact thing you’re looking for, but you might just get the perfect substitute. I would also recommend taking a look at “The Story of Stuff.” Google it. While this brief film stirred up a storm of controversy in some communities, it is worth watching. And, maybe sit down and watch “Wall-E” as a family and have a discussion about “stuff.” We’ve found it helps to really talk to our children about how we feel about the commercial nature of our society, and to give them tools to deal with the constant barrage of selling. It is a gross testament to our times that most of the selling is directed at the 12 and under crowd. So, it’s important to talk about it and prepare them to defend themselves. The beautiful thing about budgeting and saving and not wasting is that it makes you want to save and not waste more. It’s a great feeling to not be a part of the problem. Nicole McKeon is a home-schooling mom in Asheville. E-mail her at nmckeon@msn.com.

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recall roundup The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission has issued recalls for the following products. For details, visit cpsc.gov.

Little People Play ’n Go Campsite Fisher-Price has recalled 96,000 Little People Play ’n Go Campsite sets because the plastic Sonya Lee figure in the set can break at the waist, exposing small parts that pose a choking hazard to young children. Product number R6935 is printed on the toy’s packaging. The name Sonya Lee is printed on the underside of the figure. Only Sonya Lee figures that bend at the waist, have a green sweater and purple camera around the neck are included in this recall. No other Sonya Lee figure is affected. The remaining pieces of the Little People Play ’n Go Campsite are not affected. The set was sold at major retailers including mass merchandisers, discount stores, department stores and toy stores nationwide and in Puerto Rico, and by online retailers from October 2009-August 2010 for about $15. Contact Fisher-Price at 800-432-5437 or service.mattel.com.

Williams-Sonoma baby bottle warmers

About 11,000 Beaba Express Steam Bottle Warmers have been recalled by Williams-Sonoma because they can overheat liquids and baby food, posing a burn hazard to adults and babies. The bottle warmer is green with an orange temperature dial. “Beaba” is printed on the base and model number 9602 is printed on the underside of the warmer. They were sold at Williams-Sonoma stores nationwide, at williams-sonoma.com and through Williams-Sonoma catalogs this June and July for about $65. Call 877-548-0850 for instructions on how to return the product for a full refund. Compiled by Katie Wadington

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Bake spuds, add toppings,

call it dinner GANNETT

By microwaving your potatoes before baking them, the dense flesh of the potato gets plenty hot and starts cooking sooner.

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Gannett A baked potato is known best as a side dish. But this beloved starch becomes a self-contained meal when topped with ingredients from around the globe. Splitting a potato in half and dressing it with eggplant, smoked salmon or chili transforms a spud into a mini casserole. “From ethnic toppings to simple ham and cheese, there’s not much that doesn’t go well on top of a baked potato. I think of it as a neutral palette that you can add anything to for a quick dinner,” said Idaho Potato Commission vice president Don Odiorne. Potatoes are cheap nutrition — about 25 cents each — and using small amounts of meats, cheeses and leftovers offers infinite possibilities for a meal for one or a meal for many. Heat up leftovers like chicken fajitas or beef Stroganoff, turkey and gravy, or even stir-fried vegetables. Top a baked potato and

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HOW TO BUY AND BAKE POTATOES ◆ Select potatoes with even brown skin tone and no greenish cast. Also, look for potatoes without bruises, discolored spots or sprouts. When baking many potatoes at once, choose those with uniform shapes and sizes so they are done at the same time. ◆ Rinse and scrub each potato under cold running water. Dry each potato thoroughly. ◆ Pierce each deeply with a fork or sharp knife to allow steam to escape during cooking. ◆ Adjust oven rack to the middle

dinner’s ready. Topped potatoes also work for a casual party. Serve hot potatoes, and let guests top their own from a range of ingredients. Any potato can be baked, but Russets are the best option, being light and flaky.

position and preheat oven. Potatoes cook in about 45 minutes at 400 degrees, 60 minutes at 350 degrees and 90 minutes at 325 degrees. ◆ Bake on oven racks, turning the potatoes over halfway through the baking time. ◆ Potatoes are done if tender when pierced with a fork. ◆ Remove and slit across the top with a sharp knife. Gently push in each end toward the middle. The potato will pop open and loosen the fluffy interior.

If you are short on time, potatoes can be cooked in the microwave. A second option is to cook them halfway in the microwave and finish off in the oven. Baking allows the skin to crisp and moisture to evaporate.

Mexican baked potatoes

4 medium baking potatoes 1 pound ground beef 1 packet prepared taco seasoning 3/4 cup water 4 tablespoons sour cream 1 1/2 cups sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded 1/4 cup sliced green onions Salsa Wash, dry and pierce potatoes in several places. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Place potatoes in oven and cook about 40 minutes. Meanwhile, cook beef in a non-stick skillet. When done, drain any grease. Add taco seasoning and 3/4 cup water. Cook on medium high for about 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Slice open warm potatoes and gently break apart white flesh. Add 1/2 tablespoon sour cream to each potato half. Top each potato with 1/4 of the taco beef, 1/4 of the Cheddar cheese and 1/4 of the green onions. Serve with salsa. Makes 4 servings. Source: The Arizona Republic

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Baked spuds Continued from Page 63

BAKED-POTATO TOPPING IDEAS ◆ Warm diced ham, bell peppers and melted Cheddar cheese. ◆ Sour cream, smoked salmon and diced scallions. ◆ Black beans, diced chiles, shredded cheese and salsa. ◆ Ricotta cheese, sliced pepperoni and fresh chopped basil. ◆ Canned chili, diced onions and shredded cheese. ◆ Crumbled bacon, tomatoes and cream cheese or sour cream. ◆ Steak, freshly grilled or leftover and sliced, grilled onions and roasted redpepper strips.

Microwave broccoli- and shrimp-topped potatoes

2 Russet potatoes 1 cup fresh broccoli florets 1 green onion, thinly sliced 3/4 cup chicken broth 2 teaspoons low-sodium soy sauce 1 teaspoon rice-wine vinegar 2 teaspoons cornstarch 1/3 cup fresh or frozen cooked shrimp, or 1 (6-ounce) can shrimp, drained 2 teaspoons diced pimiento (optional)

Scrub potatoes; pierce several times with a fork. Wrap each potato in a microwave-safe paper towel; arrange potatoes 1 inch apart. Microwave on high 6-8 minutes, turning and rearranging once; let stand 2 minutes. With a fork, pierce the skin in the form of a cross. Press the ends of the potato toward the center, lifting and fluffing the flesh. Combine broccoli and onion in a 9-inch microwave-safe pie plate; cover with microwaveable plastic wrap and microwave on high 3-4 minutes, or until tender. Drain. Combine chicken broth, soy sauce, vinegar and cornstarch in a 4-cup glass measuring cup, microwave, uncovered, on high 2-3 minutes, or until slightly thickened. Pour sauce over broccoli; stir in cooked shrimp and pimiento. Spoon mixture over potatoes. Makes 2 servings. Source: Idaho Potato Commission

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Kids page

Word search – Pokemon

Dot-to-dot

Ash Ketchum Charizard Gary Oak Geodude James Jesse

Coloring

Kingler Meowth Misty Muk Pallet Town Pidgeotto

Pikachu Squirtle Team Rocket Togepi Touros Tracey

Zubat

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puzzles for parents Across

1. A speech defect, pl. 6. “I Thee ___” 9. Run away 13. Mussolini’s motherland 14. Little Miss Muffet, “eating ___ curds” 15. Part of USDA pyramid 16. Started or commenced 17. Time period 18. Planet path 19. Child born on this day is fair of face 21. Where little piggy shops 23. Set, as in supplies needed to build something 24. Where the black sheep lived? 25. India’s smallest state by area 28. Arrive 30. Beef or mutton fat, e.g. 35. Hops-drying kiln 37. If it’s not dark, this bird will be the clerk 39. Used as

Down

washing sponge 40. Footballer ____ Graham 41. Short, songlike poem 43. Move through a sieve 44. Nostradamus and the like 46. First-rate 47. Rock-a-bye,

baby; In the ____ top” 48. Famous tenor Caruso 50. Like Hans Christian Andersen’s duckling 52. “To ___ is human” 53. Likeliness, as in a bet

55. “Back To The Future” actress 57. Black sheep’s wool recipient 60. This doctor went to Gloucester 63. One born to Japanese immigrants 64. Mine deposit 66. Type of eel

68. NBA venue 69. One who plays for the University of Tennessee 70. Orphan of musical fame 71. Ball on a string 72. Unagi 73. Necessities

1. Ad ___ 2. Individual unit 3. Asian food thickener 4. Bane of a pirate’s life 5. Business broker 6. Muffet’s cheese-making byproduct 7. Poetic “ever” 8. _____ queen 9. The baker’s man used it to prick the cake? 10. It’s either attached or detached on people 11. Revise for publication 12. Boston time 15. Prom, e.g. 20. Circular island of coral 22. Salvador

Dali’s product, e.g. 24. Containing iron 25. Old Father Gander’s ride 26. Related to oats 27. Daisy-like flower 29. American Indian of Yucatan 31. Little kittens did this to their mittens 32. French river 33. It’s made on a house for sale 34. What Jack and Jill went to get 36. Aaron Spelling’s daughter 38. This Cole was a merry old soul

See answers on Page 79. 66

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42. Yo-Yo Ma’s instrument 45. Nova ______ 49. “___ to Joy” 51. One who always agrees 54. Motored 56. Do penitence 57. Bog down 58. On a cruise, e.g. 59. Transmit, as in email 60. HumptyDumpty did it 61. Whitetailed sea eagle 62. Search without warning 63. Pick up, as in suspect 65. Caviar 67. ”___ sir, three bags full”


Meal starter

Precooked chicken is a time-saver on busy nights

By Carol Motsinger WNC Parent writer Don’t worry. It’s not cheating. Buying a cooked chicken from the grocery store can be the starting point for a creative and complete meal. With school and soccer practice written in pen on the family’s calendar, a rotisserie chicken is a great way to save time and energy for weekday suppers. And with a little inspiration, you can still consider a meal based on a store-bought cooked chicken a homemade delight. Chris Aquilino, a local chef, said that in a conventional oven, it would take about 1 1/2 hours to produce a rotisserie chicken. When it comes to recipes based on this time-saver, “the sky is limit,” he said.

“Whatever you can dream up or think of,” he said, will work. Aquilino recommends cutting the bird in half, quartering it and throwing it on the grill for 2 1/2 minutes on each

side. It’s a simple way to bring out the flavors, he said. If you don’t want to venture outside Continues on Page 68

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Precooked chicken THINGS TO KNOW Tips for using and storing a store-bought rotisserie chicken: ◆ If you don’t use all of the chicken for a meal, chop it up and put in the freezer. If you wrap it up well, you can keep the bird for up to four months. ◆ Don’t let the chicken sit out for more than two hours. Either use it that night or store it for later. You can keep it safely for four days in the refrigerator. ◆ Make sure your rotisserie chicken is hot. ◆ Reheat to 165 degrees in the microwave. The way to do that is with 70 percent power for 1 1/2 to 3 minutes or in an oven at 350 degrees for about 5 minutes. Source: Leah McGrath, dietitian for Ingles Markets

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to the grill, consider using the chicken to make quesadillas or a salad, he said. Leah McGrath, dietitian with Ingles Markets, said the rotisserie chicken is one of the most popular items sold at the store. “It just makes sense for a lot of families on the go,” she said.

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Chicken quesadilla 3/4 cup of rotisserie chicken, pulled and mostly breast meat 1/4 cup of cheddar cheese 1/2 of a green pepper 1/2 of a red pepper 1/2 of a yellow pepper 1/2-1/4 red onion, depending on your taste Salt and pepper to taste Tortillas Put a sauté pan on medium heat. Spray lightly with cooking spray and build the tortilla with the chicken, peppers, onions and half of the cheese in the pan. Add

another layer of cheese then add another tortilla and then flip. Cook each side for 2 to 3 minutes on either side until golden brown. Source: Chris Aquilino, of Asheville

Fettuccine chicken salad Vinaigrette dressing (recipe follows) 6 ounces fettuccine noodles, cooked and drained 2 1/2 cups cooked and cubed chicken 2 cups chopped broccoli 1 cup sliced carrot 1/2 medium red onion, sliced 1/8 -inch 1 cup halved cherry tomatoes 1/2 cup halved seedless grapes, optional 1/2 cup sliced almonds, optional

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For the vinaigrette dressing: Vegetable or olive oil, white wine, vinegar, basil, oregano, minced garlic, salt and freshly ground pepper, mixed to taste. Combine the other ingredients with dressing; toss, cover and chill. Serve with a crusty bread. Makes 6 servings. Source: Judy Fastenau, Weaverville


Store-bought chicken paella

1 rotisserie chicken 2 cups of rice, long grain or whole 2 1/2 cups of tomato juice or water 3 peppers (red and yellow peppers) 8-10 ounces of chorizo Add all the ingredients to an oven-safe sauté pan or something deeper. Cover with aluminum foil and cook for 45 minutes to an hour at 350 degrees in a conventional oven. Source: Chris Aquilino

Chicken noodle soup

Reserved bones and legs, wings or cubed meat 1 cup chopped onion 1/2 cup chopped celery 1/4 cup chopped green pepper 1 cup diced carrot 1 cup frozen peas Salt, pepper, rosemary and parsley, to taste Boil reserved bones and legs, wings or cubed meat in 2 quarts water. Remove bones. Add onion, celery, pepper, carrot, peas, salt, pepper, rosemary and parsley to taste. Heat until carrots are tender. Add any hearty noodle for the base. Heat, stirring occasionally, until noodles are tender. Optional: Garnish with shredded Swiss or Gruyere, crumbled crisp bacon and a sprig of parsley or rosemary. Good with cheese biscuits and a salad. Makes 4 servings. Source: Judy Fastenau, Weaverville.

Other ideas: ◆ Chicken salad with mayonnaise, grapes, pecans or walnuts and celery. ◆ Chicken wrap with spinach, goat cheese, chopped tomatoes and low-fat ranch or other dressing. ◆ Chicken with couscous and steamed vegetables. ◆ Chicken with brown rice and stirfried vegetables. ◆ Chicken with alfredo or red sauce on pasta.

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Cook out

for Labor Day

By Jolene Ketzenberger Gannett

It may feel like summer, but Labor Day still marks the unofficial end of the summertime season. It also presents the perfect opportunity to head to the shore for a last-blast-of-summer cookout. For Rick Fuson, chief operating officer for Pacers Sports & Entertainment, his cabin tucked back in the Indiana woods on a small lake provides the perfect setting for a holiday weekend

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get-together. Fuson, who handles the cooking himself, says he relies on simple favorites such as smoked turkey, barbecued ribs, grilled vegetables, corn on the cob and a make-ahead salad. “The menu’s easy,” says Fuson, revealing that his secret ingredients are simply garlic salt and seasoned salt. “It’s pretty much the same every time.” Fuson makes ribs and turkey breast in a smoker. Choose your favorite meat and try one of these side dishes.

GW’S sweet corn on the grill 1/2 cup salt 1 dozen ears corn in husks Fill a 5-gallon bucket or other large container with water; add salt, stirring to dissolve. Place corn in water; use a lid or sturdy platter placed over corn and weighted down to keep them in the brine. Soak about 8 hours or overnight. Preheat the grill to approximately 300 degrees. Using tongs, place corn on grill and cook for about 30 minutes, turning and rotating the ears so that husks do not get too scorched. Carefully remove corn from grill. Wearing gloves, remove husks. Serve with butter and salt if desired. Serves 12.

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Michelle’s steamed vegetables on the grill 2 green bell peppers 2 red bell peppers 2 orange bell peppers 2 yellow bell peppers 1 large sweet onion 5 mini cucumbers 8-ounce package sliced mushrooms Olive oil Seasoned salt Garlic salt Preheat grill. Cut peppers and onions into wide strips. Slice cucumbers into thick slices; add mushrooms. Layer three large pieces of heavyduty aluminum foil (large enough to hold vegetables). Place vegetables in center of foil. Drizzle liberally with olive oil, and sprinkle with seasoned salt and garlic salt. Wrap with foil, and seal edges. Place on heated grill, and cook over medium heat for about 40 minutes. Serves 8.

Peach blackberry cobbler 2 3/4 pounds peaches, halved lengthwise, pitted and cut into 3/4-inch-thick wedges (8 cups) 1 cup blackberries 2/3 cup granulated sugar 3 tablespoons cornstarch 2 tablespoons packed light-brown sugar 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed lemon juice 1 teaspoon peeled, finely grated fresh ginger 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon Salt 2 cups all-purpose flour 2 teaspoon baking powder 1/2 cup cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces 1 vanilla bean, halved lengthwise 1 cup plus 2 tablespoons heavy cream, plus more for brushing Sanding sugar, for sprinkling Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Stir together peaches, berries, one-third cup granulated sugar, cornstarch, brown sugar, lemon juice, ginger, cinnamon and a pinch of salt in a large bowl. Transfer to a 2-quart baking dish; set aside. Whisk flour, baking powder, butter, one-half

teaspoon salt and remaining one-third cup granulated sugar in a food processor. Pulse until butter is the size of small peas. Scrape vanilla bean seeds into the cream in a medium bowl; stir with a fork to combine. Discard pod. Add dry ingredients from processor to cream mixture, and stir until a soft sticky dough forms. Divide dough into 10 equal pieces; arrange over filling. Brush dough with cream, and sprinkle with sanding sugar. Bake cobbler until topping is golden brown and juices are bubbling, 55 to 70 minutes. If topping is browning too quickly, cover loosely with foil. Let cool on a wire rack 1 hour before serving. Serves 8 to 10. Note: You can substitute blueberries or raspberries for the blackberries -- or even a combination of all three. Also, if you don’t have a vanilla bean on hand, substitute one-half teaspoon vanilla. Sanding sugar is a decorating sugar with larger crystals that add sparkle to baked goods.

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calendar of events

Things to do

Church, 1417 Riverside Drive, Asheville. Free and open to public. Call 254-0040, ext. 208, for information. Visit kentfamilymagiccircus.com. Swannanoa Library Knitters Group for all skill levels meets 5-7 p.m. at Swannanoa Library, 101 W. Charleston St. Call 2506486.

Registration starts Sept. 2

Items for the October issue’s calendar are due Sept. 10.

Starts Aug. 30

YMCA swim lessons Lessons at downtown Asheville Y for all skill levels. Monday/Wednesday evening sessions run Aug. 30-Sept. 22. Tuesday/Thursday sessions run Aug. 31-Sept. 23, with morning and afternoon classes. Saturday sessions run Sept. 4-Oct. 23. Contact Kaela Magee at Kmagee@ymcawnc.org. YWCA swim lessons YWCA of Asheville offers swim lessons for all ages and levels. Session starts Aug. 30. Call 2547206, ext. 110, to register. At 185 S. French Broad Ave. Visit ywcaofasheville.org.

Sept. 1

Kent Family Magic Circus Share an evening of family fun with Kent Family Magic Circus at 6:30 p.m. at New Life Community

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Play & Learn Parents/caregivers and children ages 3-5 in Buncombe County who are not in regulated child care can attend a series of eight free Play & Learn group sessions. Four groups will be offered: 1010:45 a.m. and 11-11:45 a.m. Tuesdays, Sept. 21-Nov. 9, and 10-10:45 a.m. and 11-11:45 a.m. Wednesdays, Sept. 22-Nov. 10. All meet at Asheville City Schools Preschool on Haywood Road in West Asheville. Each 45-minute session focuses on pre-literacy skills for children and educational information for parents. With songs, puppets, dance, games, crafts and hands-on activities. Children new to the program receive a book each week. Registration required. New participants may register by e-mail (marna.holland@asheville.k12.nc.us) or phone (350-2904) on Sept. 2. If slots are still available, returning participants may register Sept. 9. Children must be at least 3 years old on or before Sept. 22 to participate. Younger siblings may attend with their families, but materials are not provided for them. For information, call Marna Holland at 350-2904.

Sept. 2 and 9

Childbirth class A two-session class for expectant parents covering the labor and delivery process, relaxation, breathing patterns, birth options, positioning and comfort measures. Also includes tour of the Pardee Women and Children’s Center. 6:30-9 p.m. Sept. 2 and 9. Free. Registration required. At Pardee Hospital Orientation Classroom, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Call 866-790-WELL.

Sept. 2-4

SheTrade Women’s boutique consignment sale with clothing, shoes, handbags, jewelry and more. Public sale is 9 a.m.-8 p.m. Sept. 2-3 and 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Sept. 4 (most items half price). At Asheville Renaissance Hotel, 31 Woodfin St. Visit shetradewnc.com or e-mail shetradewnc@gmail.com.

Sept. 3

Music and Movement Hands On! A Child’s Gallery offers singing, dancing and more at 10:30 a.m. Free with admission. At 318 N. Main St., Hendersonville. Visit handsonwnc.org. Swannanoa Shindig Mountain music, dancing, bingo, farmers market, food, games and more. Bring a chair but leave pets at home. At 6 p.m. Take Interstate 40 to Exit 59. Turn right onto U.S. 70 East. Take right onto Whitson

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Weaverville Library Used Book Sale Find book bargains, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at Weaverville Library, 41 N. Main St. Call 250-6482. YMCA parents’ night out The YMCA in downtown Asheville offers a parents night out for children ages 2-12. Activities include swimming, arts and crafts, inflatable obstacle course, snacks and a movie. Register online or in person (at least 24 hours before scheduled program). Offered 6-10 p.m. the first Saturday and 6:30-9:30 p.m. the third Friday of each month. Cost is $12 for members ($24 nonmembers); Saturday cost is $15 for members ($30 for nonmembers), with $2 sibling discounts for everyone. Call 210-5622 or visit ymcawnc.org.

Starts Sept. 4 SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

The N.C. Apple Festival runs Sept. 3-6 in Hendersonville.

Avenue and follow the signs. Call 337-4718 or visit SwannanoaShindig.com.

Sept. 3-6

N.C. Apple Festival Street fair with arts and crafts, food, entertainment, apple growers and their apples, children’s activities and more on Main Street in downtown Hendersonville. Family Fun Zone in Wachovia Bank parking lot on Main Street. Tickets are $1-$3 per activity. King Apple Parade is 2:30 p.m. Sept. 6. Visit ncapplefestival.org for schedule of events.

Sept. 4

Craft fair Hendersonville Fine Arts Academy hosts a craft fair, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. at 610 Spartanburg Highway, Hendersonville. Clothing and accessories for all ages, jewelry, paper goods, toys, preserves, art, baby items and more. Call 674-9390. Shindig on the Green Celebrate the music and dance of WNC at 7 p.m. at Pack Square Park. Visit folkheritage.org/ shindigonthegreen.htm.

YMCA swim lessons Visit ymcawnc.org for more information. ◆ At downtown Asheville Y for all skill levels. Saturday sessions run Sept. 4-Oct. 23. Contact Kaela Magee at Kmagee@ymcawnc.org. ◆ At Reuter Family Y for all skill levels. Session runs Sept. 4-25. Call 651-9622. ◆ At Corpening Memorial Y in Marion. Session runs Sept. 4-25. Call 659-9622.

Sept. 5

Lexington Avenue Arts and Fun Festival Art, food, performers and more on Lexington Avenue in downtown Asheville. Visit arts2people.org/laaff.

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calendar of events Continued from Page 73 Mile High Kite Festival Beech Mountain hosts its eighth-annual Mile High Kite Festival, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Free admission; free kites to first 200 children under 12. Kites for sale. Fly kites a mile above sea level. Other weekend events include kite maker’s competition 2-4 p.m. and street dance 7-9 p.m. Sept. 4. Visit beechmtn.com or call 800-468-5506.

Sept. 6 Labor Day

Sept. 7

ABYSA registration deadline Registration deadline for U5, U6 and high school leagues. Visit abysa.org for details. Skyland Library Knitting Group Casual knitting group for all levels, 6-8 p.m. At 260 Overlook Road. Call 250-6488. Special Olympics cheerleading, soccer Athletes must have current physical and release forms. For more information on these sports, contact Grace Young at 250-4260 or grace.young@ buncombecounty.org. ◆ Buncombe County Special Olympics cheerleaders, coaches and parents/guardians will have their first meeting and practice at 6 p.m. at Zeugner Center in Arden. Cheerleaders compete on local and state levels. ◆ Buncombe County Special Olympics soccer players, coaches and parents/guardians will have their first meeting and practice at 6 p.m. at JB Lewis soccer field 1A on Azalea Road, Asheville. Practices will be held 6-7:30 p.m. Tuesdays until Nov. 16.

Sept. 8

Black Mountain Library Knitters Knitting group for all levels, 6:30 p.m. at Black Mountain Yarn Shop, 203 W. State St. Holistic Parenting Forum The Holistic Parenting Forum is a free group that meets monthly to provide support, education and resources for a diverse community of parents committed to natural living. All meetings take place on the second Wednesday of every month at Earth Fare in West Asheville from 6-8 p.m. Children are welcome. For more information, call 230-4850 or e-mail shantisunshine@gmail.com Home-school Day Chimney Rock Park offers a program for homeschoolers, 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m. $12 per student; $11.50 for parents (Annual Passholders: $7 per student, free for parents). Visit chimneyrockpark.com for detailed program descriptions. Rosh Hashanah The Jewish new year holiday begins at sundown. Science Wonders on Wednesday The Health Adventure’s educators present highlights from favorite programs such as “Forces and Motion,” “Sound Science” and “Yes, No, Maybe.” For families, home-school students and visitors of all ages. Space is limited so guests will be admitted on a first comefirst served basis. Visit thehealthadventure.org or call 254-6373. At 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville.

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Sept. 9

Origami Folding Frenzy Learn new folds, share favorites and meet fellow origami enthusiasts. All levels welcome. Paper is available at the museum store or bring your own. Cost is museum admission. From 4-5 p.m. the second Thursday of the month at The Health Adventure, 2 S. Pack Place. Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org.

Sept. 10

Celebrate Pregnancy Park Ridge Hospital hosts class for expectant mothers. Covers labor techniques and support. $99, includes massage voucher and pregnancy art cast. At Hands On! A Child’s Gallery, 318 N. Main St. Call 697-8333 to reserve a spot. Visit handsonwnc.org. Eid ul-Fitr Muslim holiday marking the end of Ramadan. Parents’ Night Out Fired Up! Creative Lounge offers a program for kids, 6-9 p.m. at 26 Wall St., downtown Asheville. Drop off the kids for pizza, drinks and bisque items for the kids to paint. $25 per child. Call 253-8181 for reservations.

Sept. 10-12, 18-19 and 25

Henderson County Library Book Sale Friends of the Henderson County Library host annual book sale with 100,000 books, CDs, DVDs and more. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, 1-5 p.m. Sundays. At 1940 Spartanburg Highway. Call 697-4725.

Sept. 10-19

N.C. Mountain State Fair Family oriented agricultural fair with competitions, displays, midway games, good and more and WNC Ag Center in Fletcher. Visit mountainfair.org.

Sept. 11

End of Summer Blues Festival 11 a.m.-10 p.m. at Camp Green Cove to benefit St. Gerard House Autism Center. $10. Kidfest at Grandfather Mountain Guided hikes, games, storytellers, music and more. Starts at 9 a.m. Visit grandfather.com. Movie night Henderson County Parks and Rec hosts “Fury Vengeance” on Field 9 at Jackson Park on the big screen. Starts at dark. Bring blanket or camping chair. Free. Paper Doll Party Smith-McDowell House Museum hosts a Paper Doll Party for girls ages 7 and older. Learn about the history of paper dolls and make one. Girls are encouraged to bring their favorite doll. At 11 a.m. Party includes program, luncheon and craft. $15 per person. All children must be accompanied by an adult. Make reservation by Sept. 4. Call 253-9231 or e-mail education@wnchistory.org. Punt, Pass and Kick Competition open to boys and girls ages 8-15 (as of Dec. 31; bring birth certificate to verify age). Scores in punting, passing and kicking based on distance and accuracy. Top finishers advance to sectionals. 10:30 a.m.-noon at Enka Middle School. Free. Contact Jay Nelson at 250-4260 or jay.nelson@ buncombecounty.org.

SPECIAL TO WNC PARENT

Eliada’s Fields of Fun corn maze opens on the organization’s West Asheville campus on Sept. 17.

CORN MAZES ◆ Blue Ridge Corn Maze, 1605 Everett Road, Pisgah Forest. Offers a six-acre maze. By appointment Monday-Friday; 2-8 p.m. Saturday and Sunday. blueridgecornmaze.com. ◆ Eliada “Fields of Fun” Maze, 2 Compton Drive, Asheville. Opens Sept. 17. Five miles from downtown. Try the “cow train” for younger children, the haybale maze and play in the corn box. $9 for adults, $7 for children ages 5-12 and free for children younger than 5. Group

rates. Visit fieldsoffun.org. ◆ Hickory Nut Gap Farm, 57 Sugar Hollow Road, Fairview. Farm offers a corn maze, pumpkin patch, face painting, pony rides, apples and more, starting Sept. 1. Enjoy fresh-pressed cider and visit with the farm’s animals. Admission is $5 for adults (17 and older), $3 for children ages 5-16 and free for children 4 and younger. Group rates. Call 628-1027 or visit hickorynutgapfarm.com. ◆ Cold Mountain Corn Maize, 4168 Pisgah Drive, along N.C. 110, south of Canton.

The Magic of Art Workshop for adults to raise money for Arts for Life, a program that helps young patients. From 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at Cathedral of All Souls Parish Hall. Call 2549702 to register. Led by Margaret Harvey and Mimi Shackelford. $50 plus $10 for supplies

adults reading young adult fiction will discuss “Catching Fire,” the second book in the Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins. For ages 18 and older. Free. At 19 Wall St., Asheville. Call 232-2228.

Sept. 11-12

Hendersonville Children’s Choir registration Hendersonville Children’s Choir is registering singers at 4:15 p.m., with rehearsal from 4:30-5:30 p.m., at Covenant Presbyterian Church, 2101 Kanuga Road. Semester runs Sept. 13-Dec. 6, with holiday concert on Dec. 10. No auditions. $40 per semester, $80 family cap. Discount for registration before Sept. 10. To register or for information, visit hendersonvillechildrenschoir.org. Roald Dahl Day Malaprop’s Bookstore/Café, 55 Haywood St., Asheville, celebrates author Roald Dahl with a read-athon. For details, visit malaprops.com.

‘Microcosmos’ screening Asheville Art Museum screens “Microcosmos,” a documentary film that records the lives of insects through the use of microscopic cameras and microphones. Track the flight of a bee and see what life is like on the inside of an anthill. At 2 p.m. Sept. 11 and 12. Free with admission or membership. At 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville. Visit ashevilleart.org.

Sept. 12

ROYAL book club Spellbound Children’s Bookshop’s book club for

Sept. 13

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calendar of events Continued from Page 75

Sept. 15

Junior Appalachian Musicians The Junior Appalachian Musicians is a program that teaches Appalachian strings music on banjo, guitar and fiddle to students in fourth to eighth grades. Students learn to play traditional tunes by ear and to perform together in small groups. JAM for Buncombe County will be at the Black Mountain Center for the Arts, 225 W. State St., 3:30-5 p.m., for a meeting with students, parents and teachers. Tuition is $75 for the first 10 weeks, with instrument rental available. Students must be willing to commit to attending class and practicing at home. Call 669-0930 or visit blackmountainarts.org. Swannanoa Library Knitters Group for all skill levels meets 5-7 p.m. at Swannanoa Library, 101 W. Charleston St. Call 2506486.

Sept. 16

Pardee parenting classes Both classes are 6:30-8 p.m. at Pardee Hospital, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Free. Registration required. Call 866-790-WELL to register. ◆ Breast-feeding class: Learn the art of breastfeeding. ◆ Daddy Duty class: Learn helpful ideas and tips for dads during the labor and birth process. In Video Conference Room.

Sept. 17

Teen Awesome Group at Weaverville Library Join the September Pizza Plan and decide what the group will do this year. Bring ideas and friends. 4-5:30 p.m. Meets the third Friday of the month. Call 250-6482 or e-mail Weaverville.library@ buncombecounty.org. YMCA parents’ night out The YMCA in downtown Asheville offers a parents night out for children ages 2-12. Activities include swimming, arts and crafts, inflatable obstacle course, snacks and a movie. Register online or in person (at least 24 hours before scheduled program). Offered 6-10 p.m. the first Saturday and 6:30-9:30 p.m. the third Friday of each month. Cost is $12 for members ($24 nonmembers); Saturday cost is $15 for members ($30 for nonmembers), with $2 sibling discounts for everyone. For information or to register, call 210-5622 or visit ymcawnc.org. Yom Kippur The Jewish Day of Atonement begins at sundown.

Starts Sept. 17

Parent-child classes Azalea Mountain Waldorf Initiative offers an eightweek parent-child group, from 9-11:30 a.m. Program offers a supportive environment for parents to explore the joys and challenges of raising young children, to learn simple crafts, stories and songs, and to engage children ages birth to 4 in movement, play and social interaction. Visit azaleamountain.org or call 505-1350.

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Have fun running in The Asheville Citizen-Times Half Marathon and 5K Sept. 18.

Sept. 18

Asheville Citizen-Times Half Marathon and 5K For information and to register, visit CITIZENTIMES.com/race. Fall into the Farm with Sandburg and Lincoln A free family festival at Carl Sandburg Home National Historic Site in Flat Rock. Programs include square dancing, dairy goat demonstrations, bird walks, nature tours and more. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Visit nps.gov/carl. Family Fun Event Anointed Word Church hosts a Family Fun Event at Kate’s Park in Fletcher, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Free, for all ages. Crafts, face painting, games, prizes, puppet show, Bible message. Free hot dog lunch from noon-12:45. Call 242-8781 for information. No pets. All children must be accompanied by adult. Girl Scout Day at Grandfather Mountain Grandfather Mountain hosts its 40th Annual Girl Scout Day. Scouts and troop leaders are admitted free with proof of membership. Special nature programs. Visit grandfather.com. Mountain Life Festival Great Smoky Mountains National Park hosts demonstrations in soap making, hearth cooking, cane mill, apple butter and cider making, and more. At Oconaluftee Visitors Center in Cherokee. Visit nps.gov/grsm.

Sept. 18-19

Heritage Weekend Folk Art Center, at Milepost 382 on the Blue Ridge Parkway, hosts the 30th Annual Heritage Weekend, a celebration of traditional crafts, music and storytelling. Visit southernhighlandguild.org.

Starts Sept. 19

Parenting class Anointed Word Church, 170 Bradley Branch Road, Unit #3, Arden, is offering a four-week parenting class using the Growing Kids God’s Way curriculum. Class is 9-10 a.m. Sunday Mini Fun Camp for children begins and 9 a.m. and ends when the 10:30 a.m. church service ends. To register, call Pastor Terry at 2800777, or call Rebecca at 242-8781.

Sept. 20

Joyful Noise Open House Joyful Noise Community Music and Arts Center hosts an open house 6-8 p.m. at First Presbyterian Church, 30 Alabama Ave., Weaverville. Observe private lessons and group classes in chamber music, Appalachian band, visual arts and drama from 6-7 p.m. Afterward, meet the teachers. Visit joyfulnoisecenter.org SAT preparation course UNC Asheville offers an SAT test preparation course, Mondays and Wednesdays, Sept. 20-Oct. 6. $295. Call 250-2353, e-mail nwilliams@unca.org or visit www2.unca.edu/distedu/ce/.

Sept. 21

Leicester Library knitting group Casual group for all skill levels of knitting and crochet. 6:30-8 p.m. at 1561 Alexander Road. Call 250-6480. Scrapbooking on a Budget Historic Johnson Farm offers a workshop in Scrapbooking Family Photos on a Budget. Bring about eight to 10 family photos. Leave with at least two 12x12 scrapbook pages designed on site to begin or add to your own scrapbook album. $10, includes two blank scrapbooking pages, some inexpensive embellishment items and adhesive supplies. Reservations required. Call 891-6585.

Sept. 22

Black Mountain Library Knitters Knitting group for all levels, 6:30 p.m. at Black Mountain Yarn Shop, 203 W. State St. Fall starts The autumnal equinox is at 11:09 p.m.

Sept. 23

Infant care class Pardee Hospital offers a course on infant care from A to Z. From 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Pardee, education classrooms, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. Free. Registration required. Call 866-790-WELL.

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Sept. 24-26

Greek Festival Annual event at Martin Luther King Jr. Park.

Sept. 25

Garden Science Investigation Botanical Gardens at Asheville offers a series designed to engage kids in observation and investigation of living and nonliving things using their senses and simple tools. This month, participants will dye fabric with plants. For Ages 5-11. $7/per child. Registration required. From 9:3011:30 a.m. at 151 W.T. Weaver Blvd. (adjacent to UNCA). Call 252-5190 or visit ashevillebotanicalgardens.org. Kids’ Fishing Tournament Lake Julian Park hosts the semi-annual kids’ fishing tournament, open to all kids ages 15 and younger. Register in advance or starting at 8 a.m. the day of. Tournament is 8:30-11:30 a.m. $5 per child. Prizes in each of five age categories. Event is catch and release. Join in casting competition, with casting poles and targets provided. Call David Blynt at 684-0376 or e-mail david.blynt@buncombecounty.org. Mill Around the Village Bluegrass Festival Festival celebrating heritage of bluegrass music and other Appalachian specialties. Includes children’s activities. At Beacon Mill Village, Swannanoa. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Visit millaroundthevillage.com. Old Timey Day Henderson County Curb Market Old Timey Day,

with sausage and ham biscuits cooked on a wood stove, music, antique display, demonstrations and more. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. in Hendersonville. Call 6928012. ‘Ravenna’ book release party “Ravenna,” a children’s book about a boy and the talking bear he loves, will debut at 3 p.m. at Malaprop’s, 55 Haywood St., Asheville. Writer Stacey Curnow and illustrator Daniel Nevins will speak about the book, and the party will feature drama/improv by Chris Martin’s Curtain Call Collective, temporary tattoos, arts and crafts and “bear claw” cupcakes. Teen Leatherworking Workshop East Asheville Library offers kids ages 11-18 the chance to try leatherworking. Make bracelets, bookmarks, wallets and more. Free. Call 250-4738 or e-mail eastasheville.library@buncombecounty.org.

Sept. 25-26

Children’s Clothing Exchange Find gently used clothing (newborn through juniors), shoes, books, toys, games and baby equipment. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Sept. 25 and 12:30-3 p.m. Sept. 26 (40 percent off day) at National Guard Armory in Richmond Hill. Visit thechildrensclothingexchange.com. Contact Kristie for more information at thechildrensclothingexchange@gmail.com or 667-0703. A portion of proceeds and all donations benefit ABCCM. Flock to the Rock Chimney Rock Park offers programs about birds including guided walks, opportunities to get up close

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MOMS GROUPS

Continued from Page 77 to nonreleasable birds of prey, workshops and more. Free with park admission. Visit chimneyrockpark.com.

Sept. 26

Waldorf Handwork Group Meets monthly for knitting, felting and other hand crafts and toy making. Children welcome. Call 505-1566 or visit azaleamountain.org.

Sept. 29

Black Mountain Youth Chorale The first rehearsal for the Black Mountain Youth Chorale, a singing group for fourth-eighth graders, will be 3:30 p.m. Sept. 29 in the Science Building at The Learning Community at Camp Rockmont on Lake Eden Road. No choral experience is necessary, but singers must be able to match pitch. Registration will follow immediately at 4:30 p.m. with a required meeting for singers and at least one parent. Sponsored by the Black Mountain Center for the Arts, the group is under the direction of Aline Carillon. Chorale learns two- and three-part harmony in a wide variety of genres of music. Concert at the end of each semester. Tuition is $75 for 15 weeks. Call 669-0930 or visit blackmountainarts.org, or reach Carillon at 450-9414. Fruits and veggies class Hendersonville Co-op offers a class for kids about fruits and vegetables at 10:30 a.m. at Hands On! A Child’s Gallery, 318 N. Main St. Free with admission. Visit handsonwnc.org.

Sept. 30

Fantastic Fable Puppet Show Kids of all ages welcome at the free Fantastic Fables puppet show, 11 a.m. at East Asheville Library, 902 Tunnel Road. Call 250-4738 or e-mail eastasheville.library@buncombecounty.org. Infant CPR and Choking class Pardee Hospital offers a course on infant CPR and choking. From 6:30-8:30 p.m. at Pardee, education classrooms, 800 N. Justice St., Hendersonville. $10. Registration required. Call 866-790-WELL. Labor and birth forums Peaceful Beginning Labor and Birth Forums, 7-8:15 p.m. the last Thursday of the month, are based on the Six Lamaze Healthy Birth Practices and represent “evidence-based care” for a normal and healthy birth. Free. Forum’s focus on wellness practices and proven information for a healthy pregnancy, easier labor and birth and a peaceful postpartum. Discussion include effective affirmations, good communication. Comfort measures for late pregnancy, breast-feeding tips and more. On the Mission Campus at the Wellness Resource Center, 50 Doctor’s Drive. Visit peacefulbeginning.org or call 258-3327. YWCA Black & White Gala The sixth-annual gala with music, food and silent auction to benefit the YWCA starts at 7 p.m. at Crowne Plaza Expo Center. Tickets are $50 per person. YWCA members get 20 percent off. For tickets and information, visit ywcaofasheville.org.

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A sampling of support groups for moms in 808-1490, or MC 693-9899. WNC. Mom2mom: Christian moms group meets Arden Moms Meetup Group: A group for at St. Paul’s Church, 32 Rosscraggon Road, stay-at-home moms of preschoolers or Rosscraggon Business Park Building B, babies in the Arden/South Asheville/Fletch- Asheville. Moms with any age children are er area. Visit meetup.com/arden-moms or welcome. Call 388-3598. contact Susan Toole at ArdenMommy and Me: Park Ridge Hospital offers Moms@gmail.com. a support group for moms at 10 a.m. the AshevilleMommies.com: Meet and greets fourth Monday of the month. Contact Amy for moms while kids play. Two sessions, 11 Mast at 216-7244. The hospital offers a a.m.-noon and 3-4 p.m. Wednesdays at The luncheon for moms and babies, noon-1 Hop Ice Cream and Coffee Shop, 640 Merri- p.m. the third Monday of the month, at the mon Ave. hospital’s private dining room. Call 681Asheville Moms with Multiples: Group for 2229. moms with multiples meets 7 p.m. the first MOMS Club of Hendersonville: A support Thursday of each month at the Women’s group open to mothers of all ages in the Resource Center on Doctors Drive, behind Henderson County area, including mothers Mission Hospital. Meetings are an opportu- who have home-based businesses and nity to share experiences and offer support those who work part-time but are home in a social setting. Call 444-AMOM or visit with their children during the day. The group !ashevillemom.com. meets for speeches and topics for disBiltmore Baptist MOPS: Group for all cussion, park days, playgroups, nights out, mothers of children from infancy through holiday activities and service projects benekindergarten. Morning group meets 9:30fiting needy children in the community. 11:30 and evening group meets 6:15-7:45 Meets 9:30 a.m. the first Thursday of the on the first and third Wednesday of each month at Hendersonville Church of Christ, month at Biltmore Baptist Church, 35 Clay- 1975 Haywood Road, Hendersonville. Chilton Road, Arden. Call 687-1111, e-mail dren welcome. Call Kerry at 692-7724 or mopsofbbc@yahoo.com or visit mopsofbbc- visit hendersonvillemomsclub.wordpress.com .com. Montreat/Black Mountain MOPS: Join La Leche League of Asheville mornings: other moms for fun, laughter and friendship. Pregnant moms, babies and toddlers welGroup Meets 9-11 a.m. the second Tuesday come at all meetings. Meets at 10 a.m. the of each month at Black Mountain United second Monday of the month at First ConMethodist Church, 101 Church St. Free child gregational Church on Oak Street. Contact a care available. Call Michelle at 669-8012, leader: Susan, 628-4438; Jessica, 242ext. 4001, to reserve a spot. 6531; or Falan, 683-1999. MOPS at Mud Creek: Mothers of PreschoolLa Leche League of Asheville evenings: ers (infancy through kindergarten) provides Pregnant moms, babies and toddlers welan open, faith-based atmosphere. Meets come at all meetings. Meets at 7 p.m. the second and fourth Wednesdays, 9:15-11:15 third Monday of the month at Awakening a.m., September-May, at Mud Creek Baptist Heart on Merrimon Avenue. Contact a lead- Church, 403 Rutledge Drive, Hendersonville. er: Yvette, 254-5591; or Molly, 713-7089. E-mail MOPS.MudCreek@gmail.com or visit La Leche League of Hendersonville: Offers http://mopsatmudcreek.webs.com/ information and support for pregnant or links.htm. breastfeeding women. Meets at 10 a.m. the North Asheville MOPS: Meets 9:30-11:30 second Wednesday of the month at Unia.m. the first Monday of each month at tarian Universalist Fellowship of Henderson- Maranatha Baptist Church, 1040 Lower Flat ville, 2021 Kanuga Road. Babies and todCreek Road, Weaverville. Contact Jennifer dlers are welcome. For more information, Warner at 423-6180 or Liban Morris at Contact a leader: Andrea 676-6047, Katie lmorris_cid@hotmail.com.

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Oct. 1

Swannanoa Shindig Mountain music, dancing, bingo, farmers market, food, games and more. Bring a chair but leave pets at home. At 6 p.m. Take Interstate 40 to Exit 59. Turn right onto U.S. 70 East. Take right onto Whitson Avenue and follow the signs. Call 3374718 or visit SwannanoaShindig.com.

Oct. 2

Scarecrow Festival Create a scarecrow for the contest, get your face painted, browse crafts and more at the Scarecrow Festival at Lake Julian Park, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Scarecrow contest is in two divisions, individuals and groups. Cash prizes for winners. Register by 9 a.m. Oct. 2. Free. Call Grace Young at 250-4265 or e-mail grace.young@buncombecounty.org for more information. Veritas Christian Academy Flea Market Shop for clothing, electronics, furniture, athletic equipment, toys, linens, books and more. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. in Veritas Christian Academy’s gym, at corner of Hendersonville and Cane Creek roads, behind Fletcher First Baptist Church.

Oct. 5-9

Cherokee Indian Fair The 98th annual event celebrating the heritage of the Cherokee Indians. Entertainment, games, rides, exhibits, more. At Cherokee Indian Fair Grounds in Cherokee. cherokee-nc.com.

Opens Oct. 8

‘Blue Man Group: Making Waves’ The Health Adventure’s new traveling exhibit lets kids experience the world through the eyes of Blue Man Group. At 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville. Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org.

Ongoing

Zeugner Center family swim Buncombe County’s Zeugner Center indoor pool is now open 1:30-5 p.m. Sundays for family swim time. $3 per person. Passes available, $20 for 10 visits and $40 for 25 visits. The Zeugner Center at 90 Springside Drive, Arden, behind Roberson High School. For more information, contact Teri Gentile at 684-5072 or teri.gentile@buncombecounty.org. Cooking classes Parents, do you eat your veggies? Been thinking you’d like to be a better example for your kids? Help your family feel energetic and clear up health issues. Kat Parker will teach a class in your nonsmoking home where you and your kid(s) can learn how to prepare healthful, delicious raw fruit and veggie recipes together, like raw pizza with “cheezy” cashew sauce. Call 577-6810 or e-mail katalyst.for.change@gmail.com. Asheville Area Music Together Music Together is an internationally recognized early childhood music program for children age birth to 5 and the adults who love them. Each class is a rich, playful, family experience full of new and traditional songs and chants. Registration closes Sept. 15. Fall session begins in

September in Asheville, Black Mountain and Weaverville. Visit AshevilleAreaMT.com or musictogether.com. Contact Kari Richmond at karirichmond@charter.net or 545-0990. Joyful Noise classes Joyful Noise Community Music and Arts Center offers classes for children and adults with beginning guitar, beginning songwriting, percussion, Appalachian jamming, Kindermusik, visual arts, drama, and chamber music. Private lessons available on violin, viola, cello, fiddle, piano, guitar, dobro, pedal steel, percussion, and voice. Joyful Noise is based at the First Presbyterian Church in Weaverville with satellite locations in Marshall and South Asheville. For information and a full schedule, visit joyfulnoisecenter.org or call 649-2828. Kindermusik Kindermusik is enrolling for fall semester. Four unique curricula promote creativity, listening skills, self-esteem, problem solving, vision and focus, language and literacy, hand-eye coordination, emotional and social skills, balance and coordination. Classes for newborns through 7-year-olds. Call: Lora Scott, 649-2320, allsoulscathedral.org/musicchoirs/kindermusik (Biltmore Village); Beth Magill, 298-9350, magills.net (downtown Asheville); Yvette Odell 253-4000, ashevilleartscenter.com (North and South Asheville); Debra Huff, 206-3145 or 6891128, dhuff@mhc.edu (Madison County); Maria Wood, 669-0930, maria@davidgrover.com (Black Mountain). Parents morning out program St. Eugene Catholic Church is enrolling for its parents morning out program. Two teachers for each 10 children. For ages 6 months to 4 years. Program is 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Monday-Friday. Church is at 72 Culvern St., Asheville. Call Cynthia Francis at 254-5193, ext. 25, or e-mail mamabear123123@yahoo.com Paint-your-own Ladies Night Pottery A Go-Go hosts Ladies Night with discounts on painting fees and bisque prices, 7-10 p.m. Fridays. Cocktails and snacks welcome. At 1 Woodfin Ave., Asheville. Call 545-5473. Health Adventure exhibits and programs Call 254-6373 or visit thehealthadventure.org. At 2 S. Pack Square, Asheville. ◆ “Eyes on Earth”: Interactive exhibit that examines

satellites and space technology. Closes Sept. 19. ◆ “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz”: Follow the yellow brick road on a storybook adventure. Closes Sept. 14. and “Eyes on Earth” closes Sept. 19. ◆ Preschool Play Date: interactive fun just for preschoolers at 10:30 a.m. Thursdays. ◆ Super Science Saturdays: Experiment with science with hands-on activities. Noon-2 p.m. each Saturday. Dance lessons Asheville Clogging Company offers ongoing classes for preschool to adults in clogging, Irish step dancing, hip-hop, jazz, ballet, lyrical and tap. Visit ashevillecloggingcompany.com, call 329-3856 or e-mail ashley@ashevillecloggingcompany.com. Tennis lessons Asheville Racquet Club offers tennis lessons this fall in two locations, ARC South on Hendersonville Road and ARC Downtown, at 1 Resort Drive, Asheville. Classes starting at age 4-14, as well as a tournament program for ages 9-18. For ARC South, contact Mindy Sheppard at 274-3361, ext. 310, or arcmindy@ yahoo.com. For ARC Downtown, contact Bo Webb at 545-4939 or bothepro5@yahoo.com. Mom’s meet-up Join other moms at The Hop, 640 Merrimon Ave., at 11 a.m. the first Wednesday of each month, and then every Tuesday the rest of the month at 11 a.m. There is a carpeted children’s area with toys, and moms enjoy half-priced coffees and teas. Moms with kids of all ages welcome. The Hop Ice Cream Shop is at 640 Merrimon Ave. Call 252-8362. T-Bone’s Radio Active Kids Kid-friendly radio, hosted by Asheville-area kids from 8-10 a.m. Saturdays on ashevillefm.org. ‘My Mom Is Having a Baby’ A free program to help children ages 3-8 understand, accept and anticipate the changes that will happen as the family prepares for the birth of the new baby. Each child will see and hold life-like models that show how a baby grows and develops, make a kite mobile for the new baby’s room, receive an activity/ coloring book and tour the Mother/Baby Unit at Mission Hospital to see where mom and baby will stay. Program runs 4-5 p.m. the second and fourth Mondays at Mission Hospital. To register, call 2546373. For more information, visit thehealthadventure.org and click on the “Programs” tab.

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WNCParent September 2010  

The September Edition of the WNC Parent

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