divorced families
Take time to unplug and get out By Trip Woodard
WNC Parent columnist
Unplugged. That is what one of my therapist friends, Sophia Brooks, calls it when kids are off their electronics and engaged in more real activities like engaging people, nature or animals. I admire the concept. Truly. But, let’s face it, at best it can be a lopsided battle for a lot of children. Even on a beautiful, blue sky day, some would much prefer to play video games or text. If this does not apply to you, consider yourself lucky. It is an unfortunate reality in today’s world that electronic socialization is encouraged by peers, media and even school. Let’s look at two approaches that solidly don’t work: » Rant and rave against it. That re-
minds me of when the Dutch threw their wooden shoes into windmills to stop their progress. It didn’t work for them, and I doubt it will work for you. The best outcome you can expect from this strategy is for your kids to write you off as old fashioned or to use it as a platform for a power struggle that you will ultimately lose. » Ignore it and maybe it will go away. This strategy might work if you move to a desert island. And should you meet Mary Ann on that island, let me know. I had a childhood crush on her. So, you may ask, what should I do? I don’t know. I was still thinking about Mary Ann on that island. (Just kidding.) First, don’t fight it — compete with it. Make an outdoor outing an event including your child’s friends. Make it a cookout and take some Frisbees. Most important, pick an area with little or no cell coverage (yes, a few still exist) like Mount Mitchell or Mount Pisgah. Do a water activity. Go swimming at
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Lake James or visit Sliding Rock. Surprisingly, electronics don’t like water. I’ve found this out the hard way. Try to pick activities with a lot of stimulation like rock climbing, kayaking or mountain biking. It is hard to bike and text at the same time. Again, with a little research, you should be able to find groups that can hook you up. Finally, lead by example. I have more and more children complaining they can’t get their parents’ attention because their parents are texting. Seriously, I have to coach some parents to put away their laptops or cellphones to be available to their children. Try these ideas, but don’t forget me if you do the island thing. Just in case Mary Ann is available. Trip Woodard is a licensed family and marriage therapist and a clinical member of the N.C. Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Contact him at 606-8607.
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