Mid-Valley MOM | Aug / Sept 2023

ANNA MARIE GOSSER

BACK-TO-SCHOOL JITTERS ...OR IS IT ANXIETY?

TOO MANY TOMATOES IS A GOOD PROBLEM

Support Your Child’s Health this School Year

School is just around the corner! Getting back to school can mean changes, particularly for your child’s health and happiness. But there are things you can do as a parent to support a healthy lifestyle year-round.

To help keep your child healthy and happy this coming school year, we recommend:

1. Keeping them up to date on vaccines: This includes an annual flu vaccine and available COVID-19 series and boosters. This fall, schedule flu shots for the whole family using our self-scheduler!

2. Knowing when to keep them home: If your child is symptomatic, it’s a good idea to see your pediatrician and follow their recommendations. Keep an eye out for highly contagious illnesses like COVID-19, the flu, lice, pink eye, and strep throat, in particular.

3. Teaching them to wash their hands properly.

4. Training them to cough into their sleeves to avoid spreading germs.

5. Encouraging proper nutrition, hydration, and sleep.

6. Letting them play outside! Even an hour of moderate to vigorous activity a day can strengthen a child’s immune system and boost their overall sense of well-being.

Need a pediatrician you can trust? Our pediatricians are board-certified and practice alongside our many specialists. Together, they provide pediatric care that’s comprehensive, coordinated, and convenient.

Photos by Christy Campbell Creative

page 21

Pets

Pets are Family with Dr. Josiah Moses, page 26

Publisher

Matthew Nelson, Active Media, Inc

PO Box 672, Aurora OR 97002-0672 info@activemediausa.com

503-825-2100

Editor-in-Chief

Managing Director

Audrey Meier DeKam audrey@mommag.com

Salem Advertising

Representative

Kim Leighty kim.leighty@mommag.com

503-510-9036

Mid-Valley & Lane County Business Development Manager

Linda Blair linda@mommag.com

541-231-7250

Designer

Sean Carver sean@activemediausa.com

Because I said so!

No need for an invisibility cloak

I’m already a middle-aged mom

I used to think Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak would be a wondrous thing to have. Imagine sneaking around unnoticed wherever you go. Then I turned 40 and realized I didn’t need one because I was suddenly invisible to society.

At first I greeted this new knowledge with sadness, but now at age 50 I realize what power it contains. Because middle-aged women can move through almost all levels of society without being noticed, we make for terrific spies. No one remembers us in the periphery, making snacks or shopping for shin guards.

The government should hire us as confidential informants. We move among the people, like whispers. We are providers of food and logistics, we are liaisons to schools and health care, yet we work in the shadows. Basically, we are the Men Women in Black.

There is a kryptonite you should be aware of, though: home and garden shows. On a recent visit to one, it seemed like every exhibitor jumped out from their booths with enthusiasm to see me. Hi, how are you today! Are you in the market for a new roof/landscaping/house painting?! I had to look behind me on both sides. Wait, they can see me? My position had been compromised. My middle-aged invisibility cloak had disintegrated! Hot take: if you’d like to

feel wanted, go to a home show. (And yes, I actually was in the market for a new roof.) Other benefits: no more cat-calls or street harassment. Fashionable footwear has been traded for sensible shoes, which are so much better for your feet. It can be lonely work, this middle-age mom business, but the saving grace is one another. If you’re lucky to have a strong friend group of women your same age, they become your sanctum. When you feel depleted from efforts going unseen — it is tiring — your peers know exactly what to do. A weekend away with them refills your life force and allows you to keep going.

Others won’t see you picking out plants at the farmers market, but I do. In the linen aisle of the home store, I see you. Get yourself the high thread count cotton ones — they’re better for hot flashes. Now back to our formidable, invisible, important work.

Audrey Meier DeKam Editor-in-Chief

QA

Have a question you forgot to discuss at the doctor’s office or are too embarrassed to ask? The experts at Samaritan Health Services are here to help.

Q: I’m a busy mom and wondering what my options are for getting my family’s prescriptions filled?

A: Samaritan’s retail pharmacies are ready to fulfill all your prescription needs as well as some of the most common over-the-counter products. Our pharmacy teams are well staffed and passionate about patient care. They love taking time to answer your questions and helping you navigate through the medication fulfillment process.

We have many options available for getting your prescriptions. You can have non-refrigerated medications mailed to you free of charge, using the U.S. Postal Service. There is curbside service at one of the Corvallis locations and drive-up windows at the Lebanon and Albany location on Elm Street for those days you are

Q. I’m pregnant for the first time and have heard about group prenatal visits that Samaritan offers. Is this something I should consider for myself?

A. CenteringPregnancy group prenatal visits are quite popular, and your midwife or OB/ GYN can help you decide if this is a good fit. These visits bring together a small group of about eight pregnant patients who are all due around the same time.

Each prenatal care visit is two hours long, giving you 10 times as much time with your care team. You’ll meet at the same time and see the same providers at each session.

At the beginning of each visit, you’ll have an individual assessment with your provider in a private area. Then you’ll explore the topics

running errands and don’t want to unload the kids one more time. A new Sweet Home location opening in the fall will also feature a drive-up window. And for immediate prescription needs, like when the whole house comes down with an illness, a free local courier service can bring medications to your home.

With the integration of Samaritan’s retail pharmacies into the Samaritan Health Services system, our pharmacists are able to contact your Samaritan providers quickly, which means you get answers and your prescriptions in a timely fashion.

Visit samhealth.org/Pharmacy to find a Samaritan pharmacy close to you.

— Megan Jones, Director of Samaritan Outpatient Pharmacies

that matter most in a way that is fun and engaging with the group. Everyone benefits from real discussions and they learn together as questions are answered. We know that your privacy is important, so each person signs a confidentiality agreement, and no one ever is pressured to disclose personal concerns.

CenteringPregnancy is a great way to meet others and have fun learning and talking about all the things that come up during pregnancy! For more information, visit samhealth.org/OBGYNCorvallis.

— Emily Zeno Yeast, Certified Nurse Midwife, Samaritan Obstetrics & Gynecology

- Corvallis

Supporting your child through anxiety

As a school administrator, I often meet with parents who are worried about their child who struggles to get out of bed, disconnects from peers, avoids tasks, suffers from headaches and more. Many wonder if their child is suffering from anxiety, and I always guide families to check in with their child’s pediatrician first. If their child is diagnosed with anxiety, there is much we do to support them.

For starters, assure them they are not alone and you are there for them. Acknowledge that anxiety is like an alarm system going off in their child’s body. Their brain is detecting some form of danger and triggering the body to feel restless, struggle to breath, create looping thoughts, racing hearts, or that terrible warm feeling in the pit of their tummies. Be present with your child and help them recognize how their body is responding to an alarm, even when that alarm isn’t life-threatening. Reassure them it does not mean they are broken. Listen to what your child is saying: what are their thoughts, what is troubling them. Writing them down can help you see trends in what they are telling themselves. Are they criticizing themselves, putting down others and focusing on failures? Are the thoughts real and valid, or are they not telling themselves the truth?

Support kids in healthy ways of breathing, eating, exercising and sleeping, as these are all incredibly important to their wellbeing. Short mindfulness exercises can be useful, in combination with your health care provider’s plan. I also encourage families to find a trusted person or group their child can be open and vulnerable with. Counselors, mentors and youth leaders can be wonderful supporters.

Brought to you by:

AnnaMarie Gosser Santiam Christian Elementary Principal

STUDY SPACES

As summer draws to a close, parents and children prepare for the back-to-school season. Beyond shopping for new clothes and school supplies, creating an inviting and functional study space at home can greatly enhance a child’s learning experience.

Whether you have a dedicated room or a simple corner, a touch of interior design goes a long way in transforming a space into an inspiring study area for your young scholar.

FINDING THE PERFECT SPOT

When selecting an area for the study space, consider a location with minimal distractions. An unused corner of the living room, a quiet nook in the child’s bedroom or even an opened, converted closet can serve as the ideal spot. Natural light is great, but a desk lamp will be key as the days grow shorter.

COLOR PSYCHOLOGY

Opt for a color scheme that promotes focus and concentration. Calming shades of blue and green can stimulate creativity, while yellow and orange hues are known to enhance energy and enthusiasm.

ERGONOMIC FURNITURE

Investing in ergonomic furniture is crucial for maintaining good posture and preventing discomfort during long study sessions. Consider an adjustable desk and chair that can accommodate your child’s growing needs. The desk should provide enough surface area for books, notebooks and a computer.

ORGANIZATIONAL SOLUTIONS

Effective storage solutions are essential for keeping the study space clutterfree and organized. Install wall-mounted shelves or floating bookcases to maximize vertical space. Use labeled bins, boxes or cubbies to sort and store school supplies, textbooks, and other learning materials. A whiteboard or bulletin board can serve as a visual aid for important reminders and schedules.

PERSONALIZATION AND INSPIRATION

Make the study space feel personal and inspiring by incorporating elements that reflect your child’s interests. Hang artwork, motivational posters or a corkboard for displaying achievements. Add a comfortable rug or cushions for cozy reading corners. Involve your child in the design process to give them a sense of ownership of their study area.

TECHNOLOGY INTEGRATION

Ensure there are easily accessible power outlets and cable management solutions to keep cords organized. Consider installing a white noise machine or using noise-canceling headphones to minimize distractions. If space allows, a separate area for a computer or laptop can help create a designated digital workstation.

Creating a well-designed study space is a thoughtful way to support your child’s educational journey. A harmonious study space encourages focus, creativity and productivity, setting the stage for academic success and a love for learning that will last a lifetime.

Rylee Henderer | DESIGNER

Rylee Henderer grew up around construction job sites, sweeping up endless sawdust in the shop. She formally joined her family’s business in 2017 and learned everything from demolition and framing, to tile and cabinetry installation. From there, Rylee grew into client management, and along the way found a love for design. She is now a full-time designer, creating beautiful, innovative spaces for Henderer Design + Build + Remodel.

Back to school with braces

If your child is heading back to school with braces, be prepared with these tips:

• Stay on track with orthodontic appointments to ensure brackets are secure and wires are trimmed and in place. Stock up on orthodontic wax to send to school with your child, just in case something starts to rub.

• Review what foods are ideal with braces. Packed lunches are a great way to make sure your child is eating braces-safe foods.

• Get a travel toothbrush for your student to keep in a backpack or locker. Brushing at lunch will help keep their teeth clean and healthy.

• Send a mirror for your child’s locker so they can check for embarrassing food debris that might get trapped in braces.

• If back-to-school means back-to-sports, invest in an orthodontic mouthguard to protect your child’s braces and mouth.

When schools provide academic calendars, schedule your child's orthodontic appointments. Many parents like having appointments on in-service days or late start/early release days, so get your appointments on the books for a smooth school year.

When wildfire smoke gets in your eyes

Wildfire smoke can cause several eye problems, including inflammation, irritation, allergic reactions and dry eyes. This happens because the smoke particles are miniscule foreign bodies in your eyes. They dissolve into your tears and coat the surface of your eye, causing burning, stinging, teary and red eyes.

To protect your eyes from wildfire smoke:

• Limit time outdoors and keep windows and doors closed while you’re inside.

• Use an air purifier and your home’s air filtration can help too. Make sure your filters have been changed recently — and note they may need changing again after a wildfire smoke event.

• Set your car and home air conditioners to recirculate so that smoky outside air isn’t drawn inward. Again, check those filters to maintain air quality.

• If you already have dry eyes, wildfire smoke will make it worse. Use lubricating drops as directed.

For contact lens wearers, those tiny particles can get lodged beneath contact lenses and cause inflammation and pain. Wearing eyeglasses is a better option. If you must wear your contact lenses in a smoky outdoor environment, practice good hygiene and consider wearing sunglasses or safety goggles.

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Activities for family bonding

As moms, we can get so caught up in the must-dos for our kids, we sometimes need a reminder to play together. Doing so allows you to appreciate each other in new and delightful ways. Consider these ways to bond as family:

Outdoor games and sports: Get out there and move! You could play catch, tag or even start a friendly family soccer or basketball game. Playing games or sports outside is a great way to exercise and have a blast together.

Board games and puzzles: Who doesn’t love a good board game or puzzle? They’re more than just fun: they get your brains working. You could play Scrabble, chess or a cooperative game like Forbidden Island. Or, you could work on a jigsaw puzzle or Sudoku together. It’s all about having a good time and engaging with each other.

Creative activities: Get your creative juices flowing! Crafts, baking or music making are enjoyable ways to express yourselves.

Many moms say they just don’t have the energy to organize family gaming, which is where we come in. At Conundrum House we provide the space in unique surroundings with all the materials you need for tabletop gaming, puzzles, Live-Action Role-Playing, mysteries, manipulative puzzles, and so much more. You don’t have to worry about set-up or finding missing pieces. Everything you need is provided for you, so the entire family gets to enjoy the fun.

Brought to you by:

Adrienne Fritze Founder & owner

Anna Marie Gosser

PROFESSION: Elementary school principal

COMMUNITY: Philomath

HUSBAND: Seth Sanders, forest engineer

CHILDREN: Colton, age 15, and Carson, age 11

PHOTOS BY: CHRISTY CAMPBELL CREATIVE

Family comes first.

All families are unique. Tell us about yours. Seth and I connected at the Philomath Frolic & Rodeo. We went to the event with a group of college friends, and when we both realized we weren’t on the dance floor, we joked we should take dance lessons. That fall we enrolled in dance class, and you can say we’re still dancing in harmony or stepping on each other’s toes. We were married on a Frolic weekend 22 years ago.

We became parents through adoption after being married for seven years, and we prioritized time with our kids right from the start. We moved back to Philomath 12 years ago to raise our kids close to their grandparents. We eat meals together with my parents every week and hang out a lot. We also wanted our kids to grow up connected to the land: we have an orchard, berry patch, huge garden and chickens. They work

with us on the property splitting wood, mowing, tending chickens and playing with our black lab Koby.

We actually spend a lot of time creating homemade food from our garden. We dry apples and pears, make homemade applesauce and cider, create delicious soups, chili and spaghetti sauces all from what we grow. When we’re not at home we find ourselves involved in church and with youth groups events. We’re also in the season of life where we’re immersed with sports, as both Colton and Carson love playing team sports.

Colton learned to play guitar during the pandemic and keeps us entertained with his music. He takes school seriously and invests lots of time into homework. Carson keeps us laughing with his silly voices, reenactments and funny jokes. He plays sports here in Philomath with PYAC and we love cheering him on.

THIS HOMETOWN MOM OF TWO CONTINUES IMPROVING HERSELF, EVEN IN A BUSY SEASON OF LIFE.

MOMs Love Local

We love locally owned businesses, restaurants, places and organizations. Share your favorite…

…coffee spot: Timber Towne Coffee in Philomath

…spot to get a good workout: I love to walk through OSU…so many great plants and interesting buildings, plus tons of people watching.

…restaurant to take the kids: Tacovore, Cascade BBQ

…take-out, food truck or quick bite: Yogurt Extreme

…place where the kids can let off steam: Any OSU sporting event and in the summer, a Knight’s baseball game

…event in your community: Philomath Frolic & Rodeo

…any other local places you love: Gathering Together Farms

As a family we enjoy playing games, watching movies and supporting the Beavers. The boys love houseboating, water skiing and snowboarding and the occasional camping trip. Every family has its own traditions, rituals or inside jokes. What are some of yours? One of our favorite traditions when the kids were a bit younger was wrapping up a book for each day of the countdown to Christmas. We would put up our tree right after Thanksgiving and place 25 books under the tree. Each night the kids would choose a book to unwrap and we would read it together by tree light. Those moments will live in my heart as a mom forever.

Has the pandemic changed the way you parent, beyond just the practical and logistical parts? If so, how? It makes me think about what things we commit to on our schedules. The blessing of the pandemic was time with my kids in our yard, on walks, cooking and being connected to their learning styles related to school. I don’t want us to be so busy that we don’t have the margin in our

lives for a walk, game, movie or bike ride as a family.

We’re all moms so we know that no one is perfect all of the time, or even some of the time. Tell us about your most recent “Mother of the Year” moment. You know, like forgetting to pick the kids up from school. Not my most recent, but one that will totally live in my mind forever. With multiple boys playing sports you’re always trying to keep sports equipment and uniforms washed and ready to go. One game I assured my youngest that he was supposed to wear a specific shirt with his baseball pants. He kept saying I don’t think this is right mom, but I was 99% sure I had it right…until we got to the field and realized it was last year’s top. Then I had to try my best to pep talk to assure him no one would notice and it wouldn’t impact the game as he just looked at me and said, “Mom, you were wrong!”

What is something you swore you would never do before kids that you now do? (skip showers, go to a drive through coffee in your pjs, etc.)? I love a clean house and I used to worry about spots on mirrors and fingerprints on windows. Sadly there was a time I gave myself “mom points” for how clean the car was or how the house was in order. After some work I came to realize that those things don’t define me or who I am as a mom. So now I play the game or try to connect with my kids instead of worrying about the perfect house.

You know you’re a mom when you hear yourself say, “______________.”

I’m going to count to 3!

No one works harder than mom.

What have you learned professionally that has helped you as a mom? Learning to control the controllables and give kids autonomy and choice in owning their decisions. Seeing as an educator how much productive struggle helps kids build resilience and grit has been huge in my parenting. I don’t swoop in to solve every relational issue or challenge for my kids. I want them to build skills in communicating and understanding that they get to choose their attitude and can do hard things.

Tell us about a recent achievement you’re proud of, or a personal passion or talent. Continuing my education after having kids

is an accomplishment of which I am proud. When my oldest was two I started my administration degree, and then this past year completed my continuing administrative license which took a lot of time management and sacrifice to finish. I would tell any mom to keep dreaming when it comes to improving herself and work hard. You can do it, even with kids!

Tell us about your upbringing. How did it shape the mother you are today? I was incredibly blessed growing up in Philomath. I had a whole community of people that knew me and cheered me on in so many adventures. My dad taught, and my mom gave my sister and I the gift of herself by investing in us daily as a homemaker. We didn’t have multiple cars, recreational vehicles or fancy vacations. However, I had my mom and dad at everything I ever did supporting and loving me. They gave us the gift of family dinners, road trips and chores. I learned to value people and not stuff. My core values of caring for other people, loving God and investing in relationships came from my parents.

What is special about where you grew up?

I admit I was that kid who said, “I will never move back to my hometown.” Yet here I am, and I love that you see people you know and can tell your kids fun stories about your own life as you visit different locations around town. I love that generations of family are present at events.

What is something you will NEVER do again? Take out a loan.

What’s your superpower? I’m really calm in hairy, scary, stressful situations.

It’s Saturday afternoon and you suddenly find yourself at home alone for a few hours (we know, it never happens). What do you do? Read a mystery, eat a double chocolate Häagen-Dazs ice cream bar and wear my hair in a ponytail.

What keeps you sane? Talking to my mom is my favorite thing. She is a great mirror and helps me process my life. She truly is my best friend.

What is your greatest extravagance?

Plants…I love to buy new beautiful, quirky, amazing plants.

They say that everyone has a book in them. What’s the title of your book? Every Kid Can Learn…Even if They’re Hanging Upside Down Off a Chair

Listen to mom.

What’s the best advice you’ve received from another mom? To put my family over my career. I love working, and I’m passionate about what I do professionally. However, I have stepped off the career hamster wheel multiple times in order to be present for my kids, whether it was working part time, not working, changing jobs or changing organizations.

What message would you like to share with other moms? Remember to tell it like it is. Being a mom in this digital age is really challenging. I think you have to be more focused than ever in creating relational opportunities with your children. Be intentional in talking to your children and

listening to them. Find other moms who are in the same stage of life that your kids are in so that you can honestly talk about the hard stuff. You need a support network so you don’t feel so crazy, whatever the age of your kids.

Is motherhood what you expected? What surprised you the most? Being a mom takes more sacrifice and courage than I could ever imagine. So many times you have to be introspective and look at why you are engaging with your kids in a certain way, or putting value on specific things. Helping your kids discover their gifts and talents is a really fun part of being a mom. Working through your kid’s fears, disappointments and challenges is a hard part of being a mom. Realizing how much purpose, meaning and spice my kids add to my life is the best surprise of parenting.

If mom’s not happy, nobody’s happy.

TOO MANY TOMATOES

If you’re lucky enough to have a bumper crop, it may feel like you have 10,000 of them in your backyard. But it’s a good problem to have, as tomatoes are delicious fresh, or easy to freeze for later.

LINDA’S FRESH SALSA

6 – 8 cups diced fresh cherry tomatoes

1 sweet onion, diced

1 jalapeño, de-seeded and destemmed, chopped finely

1 bunch fresh cilantro, depending on the bundle size use ½ or all

½ of a fresh squeezed lime

¼ cup apple cider vinegar

Pinch of kosher salt and fresh ground pepper to taste

Mix all ingredients in a large bowl and enjoy fresh. If desired, blend about 3 cups in a food processor, then recombine with the chopped portion.

GAIL’S ROASTED TOMATO PASTA SAUCE

2 pounds of fresh tomatoes, any kind

8 diced garlic cloves

4 – 6 fresh chopped basil leaves

½ Tablespoon of sugar

1 Tablespoon of Italian seasoning

½ Tablespoon pepper

¼ cup olive oil

Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

In a small bowl, mix together the garlic, basil, sugar, Italian seasoning and pepper. Set aside. Coat a large cookie sheet with the olive oil, then sprinkle half the seasoning mix over top. Cut tomatoes in half and place cut side down on cookie sheet until cookie sheet is full. Sprinkle the remaining half of the seasoning on top of the tomatoes.

Cook for 30 minutes at 400 degrees. Scrape everything into the blender to mix until it is saucy.

Use fresh and freeze leftovers. Enjoy with a variety of dishes such as pasta, pizza, spaghetti squash, meatball sub sandwiches and others.

IS A GOOD PROBLEM TO HAVE

School Anxiety

It’s a tale as old as time: a child who doesn’t want to go to school feigns a stomach ache to stay home. But when this happens often, or there is a significant amount of distress, there might be more to the story. We talked with local experts for insights: Dr. Pilar Bradshaw, a pediatrician with Eugene Pediatric Associates, and Abby Demchak, a social worker with Samaritan Health Services.

Everyone gets nervous now and then. How can I tell if my child has typical first day jitters, or if there’s a bigger concern?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: Most children are nervous occasionally, but sometimes back-to-school jitters are actually the tip of the iceberg of a larger problem with anxiety. Most minor adjustments to back-to-school are short-lived, consolable episodes of fear or crying that

resolve quickly upon returning home. Falling asleep may be harder for a short time. But overall, your child is the same happy kid you’ve always known.

Symptoms of a deeper problem may include intense emotional swings, difficult to console fears, lasting changes in appetite or sleep patterns, inability to calm down at school even with help from a teacher or friends, and an overall shift of your child’s mood to one that is much more anxious, angry, fearful or negative than you’ve seen. Children who experience these issues may benefit from meeting with their school counselor and pediatrician.

How does anxiety appear in a little kid versus an older child? Any tips for helping them through each stage?

Abby Demchak: While there is no straightforward rule to how anxiety presents in different ages, there are some behaviors that can be more common in little versus older kids. For example, kids in elementary school, when anxious about school, may cry, throw tantrums, cling to parents, not want to get ready for school, and tell teachers they aren’t feeling well. While older kids may have some similar behaviors, it is common for older kids to also refuse to get out of bed, stress about tests and grades, isolate from peers and ask to stay home from school.

Should I just let my anxious child stay home? They’re so distressed!

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: Letting anxious children stay home often backfires because it reinforces that giving in to a child’s anxiety is the answer. Untreated anxiety is like a box that grows smaller and smaller over time, keeping a child from ever more normal life activities. A better approach is to talk with your child about their fears and find meaningful solutions. If a parent doesn’t feel equipped, reach out to your child’s doctor, teacher or counselor for professional tips or direct support.

How do I best talk to my child about their feelings? What should I say not say?

Abby Demchak: One of the best things you can do to support kids’ anxiety (and every other emotion) is to listen and be supportive. Saying things like “Just get over it,” or “It’s no big deal,” can be dismissive and add shame to their already strong emotions. Instead, you want to open a line of communication that prompts open discussion. Saying things like, “I see you are really nervous about school. Can you tell me what is making you feel so nervous?” can be a great way to help them learn to talk about difficult things, as well as get a glimpse into their mind.

It can also be helpful to normalize discussions about mental health. No one should feel alone in their mental health journey and reminding your kids that they are not alone can be even more reassuring. If you feel comfortable, maybe you can even tell them something that makes you feel anxious and what helps you to feel better. Should I say something to my child’s school and teachers? If so, what?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: If your young child is afraid, it’s helpful for their teacher to know so they can be ready to help. Share any specific worries your child has (for example, “Maggie is afraid nobody will play with them at recess,”) so the teacher

can know what to watch for that day. The older tween or teen who is struggling may also benefit from a parent giving that information to the school counselor. If anxiety is impeding older kids at school, a formal plan may be necessary to address their mental health needs.

Abby Demchak: It is always a good idea to advocate for your child, especially if you see them struggling. Schools often have resources that can help them, but teachers and other school staff may not even know your child is anxious unless you open up that conversation. My pre-teen will literally not get out of the car at drop-off. What should I do?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: If a tween or teen refuses to get out of the car at school drop-off, I recommend against making a scene — this usually intensifies the child’s discomfort at school. Instead, try to remain calm as a parent, drive away from the door, and have a discussion with your child. School is their job and they need to attend. If you cannot convince them to get out of the car, notify the school of their absence and make an appointment to see their pediatrician. Truancy from school indicates that your child’s anxiety is significant enough to require professional support.

What if my child is neurodivergent?

Dr. Pilar Bradshaw: Neurodivergent children often struggle with anxiety, so school may be an extra source of worry for these kids. Enlist your child’s medical and mental health specialists, as well as their teacher, school counselor or principal to help develop an individualized approach for children with developmental or behavioral issues. But always remind your neurodivergent child that their talents and sparkle are an important part of their school community, and help them find their “super powers” that they can use to help make their education fun and rewarding.

Abby Demchak: First, let’s talk about what neurodivergent means! Being neurodivergent means that your brain works a little differently than the mass population. Autism and ADHD are the most common examples of neurodivergence, but anything that is a learning or developmental disability also falls under the neurodiversity umbrella. In fact, the neurodiversity umbrella is quite large. It’s fairly common for neurodivergent kids to feel anxious about school, whether it be stress of trying to fit in, pressure to get good grades or anything of the sort. There are a lot of ways that neurodivergent children can receive support in a school

“Saying things like ‘I see you are really nervous about school. Can you tell me what is making you feel so nervous?’ can be a great way to help them learn to talk about difficult things...”

setting, such as individual education plans (IEPs) and 504 plans, both of which are designed for kids with identified disabilities (yes, ADHD is a covered disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act).

What resources are available for my child?

Abby Demchak: Whether it is school counselors, advisors, teachers or therapists in the community, there are people there to help support your children. Your pediatrician’s office will have mental and behavioral health resources or can help you find someone to support your child. Individual counties have great mental health programs that offer individual and family counseling, and there are many private practices that offer the same in the community. A quick search on the internet will help to start finding resources. If you are having trouble with that, schools and doctors’ offices can help find and navigate local resources.

Pilar Bradshaw, MD, FAAP

Dr. Bradshaw practices the full spectrum of pediatric medicine, seeing patients from birth to young adulthood. Her special interests include the treatment of asthma, medically fragile children and adolescent eating disorders. She sees patients at Eugene Pediatric Associates, an independent pediatric practice in Eugene.

Abby Demchak, LCSW

Abby Demchak primarily sees children and adolescents and specializes in treating anxiety disorders and attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder, with clinical interests in anxiety and LGBTQ health. She practices at Samaritan Lebanon Health Center.

Calming the anxious child

It can make you feel powerless to see your child struggling, but there are immediate, practical ways you can help. We asked Jenifer Trivelli of the Salem-based WiseMind Educational Services, for tips.

As the saying goes, you put your oxygen mask on first. Our nervous systems send cues of either safety or alert to our children. These get communicated nonverbally, through facial cues, posture, tone and rate of speech, breathing patterns, and other signals we parents may not be aware of. Grounding yourself first is key.

A parent’s first reaction is often to try and fix whatever the child identifies as the cause of their overwhelming emotion. After grounding yourself, consider making your focus to help your child return to emotional balance first, so their brain works better. You might try telling them to look at your eyes and see that you’re not worried or scared. You can also try directing them to look around and name things as they

see them. This is not distraction; when we turn our head and move our eyes, we send soothing signals to our “on alert” brain by helping it recognize that the environment is safe.

Break down overwhelming situations into achievable small steps. This allows your child to begin making forward movement toward the larger goal. Find out exactly where your child gets stuck and work backwards from there. A manageable amount of anxiety can be useful fuel for growth and learning new skills.

Create rituals and use transition objects. Rituals create a sense of safety through familiarity in situations that may be unfamiliar. A transition object can be anything your child can access a sense of safety or comfort through. Some ideas include a piece of jewelry, a special stone, a photo of a pet or happy memory, or clothing that is comforting. It’s likely they know what could work if you prompt them with the question.

Jenifer Trivelli is an author, speaker and founder of WiseMind Educational Services based in Salem. She combines neuroscience and mindbody education for children, teens and the adults who care for them in her books and in partnership with local schools.

SAVE MONEY WHERE YOU CAN

STOP OVERCONSUMPTION

IS IT A WANT OR A NEED?

CLOTHING

• Have a clothing & home goods swap with your friends. Make a fun night of it!

• Learn to sew. Replacing a button or patching up a rip will save you from having to replace clothing.

• Kids are hard on clothes — and they outgrow them at lightning speed. Shop gently used clothing for great deals.

• Return unworn items with tags. If it’s too late to do so, take them to a local reseller for cash.

• Before washing, turn shirts with delicate printing or adornments inside-out to make them last longer.

• Keep your wardrobe — and your laundry pile — small by going through it once a quarter. If you haven’t worn it in a year, donate it. This allows you to truly see what you have and avoid buying duplicates.

FOOD

• Nab those printed and digital coupons! If you forget to bring or use your printed ones, take them to customer service the next time you’re in the store along with your receipt. Some retailers will honor them retroactively.

• Use your reward card to benefit from perks and savings.

• Use free grocery pickup orders to prevent impulse purchases.

• Make your own coffee at home. And if you have leftovers, pour it into a lidded jar and store it in the fridge for iced coffee.

• Pick your own berries or fruit. Make a day of it with the kids at a local farm — they’ll love it. You’ll also probably get better-tasting

fruit that’s less expensive.

• Freeze everything: beyond just meat, there are loads of foods you can freeze, such as that unused tomato paste when a recipe only called for half a can, bread on sale, leftover cake, pesto, fresh ginger and so much more.

• Broccoli stems: chop and eat them yourself, or give them to your dog as a healthy treat.

HOME & LIFE

• Save on internet cost: you could save up to $30 a month on your internet bill with the Affordable Internet Connectivity Program. visit getinternet.gov to see if you qualify.

• Find a childcare share: this is when a few moms share childcare duties with one another, allowing them to each have a much-needed break.

• Check your city’s event webpages for a plethora of free or low-cost events. Local libraries and parks & recreation have loads of free or low-cost activities for kids and families.

• Fix your stuff rather than replace it. Local repair fairs are excellent places to take that broken bike/fan/sewing machine. You can learn valuable skills, save money and help the environment. Watch for these:

In Eugene, Fix-it Fairs are regularly hosted by fixitlanecounty.com or eugene-or.gov.

In Corvallis/Albany, OSU Campus Recycling hosts Repair Fairs.

In Salem, follow facebook.com/ RepairFairSalem/ for events throughout the area.

That adorable purse is calling your name, and technically it’s a need…you do require some place to put your money and sunglasses while you’re out and about. But unless you’re starting with zero purses, a new one is not a need. Don’t let temptation convince you otherwise.

DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?

Instead of making an impulse purchase, take a picture and wait a day or more. Those cute throw pillows you saw at a store? Chances are high that the sense of urgency you had to buy them has decreased over time. If you’re still thinking they’re perfect for you, consider asking for them as a gift for an upcoming birthday. Practice delayed gratification to save yourself thousands.

SHOP USED

Need a new serving platter?

Want a holiday wreath for your front door? How about a stack of kids’ books? Online marketplaces and local second hand stores are terrific sources. Bonus: there are new items almost daily.

MAKE DO

This old-timey saying is a classic for a reason. If you can get by just fine without something, your bank account will thank you.

The cost of seemingly everything has gotten more expensive. Time to get savvy about where your money goes.

Dental trauma: what to do if...

A baby tooth is knocked out

Contact your pediatric dentist as soon as possible. Have your child rinse their mouth with water, and apply a cold compress to reduce swelling. Baby teeth should not be replanted as they could damage the developing permanent teeth.

A permanent tooth is knocked out

Find the tooth and rinse it gently with milk. Do not use soap and water. Put the tooth in the socket and hold it there gently with clean gauze or a washcloth. If you cannot put the tooth back in, place it in a clean container, preferably with cold milk. If milk is not available, use the child’s own saliva. Take your child to your pediatric dentist immediately.

A tooth is chipped or broken

Contact your pediatric dentist immediately. Fast action can save the tooth, prevent infection and reduce the need for extensive future dental treatment. Have the child rinse their mouth with water, and apply a cold compress to reduce swelling. Bring the fragment to the dentist if you can find it.

Even if the tooth is lightly chipped, still call your dentist immediately. We’ll ask a series of questions that will help determine what to do. Even chips on permanent teeth need professional attention to make sure there’s no underlying damage. We can Brought to you by:

Your rights and IEPs

When you have a child with specialized education needs, you’ve likely encountered an Individualized Education Program (IEP). At its core, an IEP is a legally binding document that provides accommodations for students with disabilities.

Knowing your rights as a parent is crucial in the creation and execution of your child’s IEP. There are six rights you should learn and advocate for:

1. Right to Information: You have the right to be informed about the special education process, including eligibility, evaluation procedures and IEP development. Schools must provide written notice before any changes occur.

2. Right to Participation: You can actively participate in meetings and decision-making related to your child’s education. This includes attending IEP meetings, contributing to goal setting and collaborating with school personnel.

3. Right to Consent: Schools require written parental consent for evaluations or changes in services. You can review evaluation reports, receive copies of the IEP and provide input on services and supports.

4. Right to Independent Evaluation: If parents disagree with the school’s evaluation or services, they can request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at public expense. The IEE results must be considered.

5. Right to Review and Revise the IEP: You can review the IEP annually and request changes as needed. You can also request additional meetings to address concerns, propose modifications or discuss progress.

6. Right to Dispute Resolution: If disagreements arise, you have the right to pursue dispute resolution options such as mediation, due process hearings or filing complaints.

While creating and implementing an IEP may have its challenges, you’re never alone in the journey. FACT Oregon, a nonprofit, is a go-to for providing families exceptional guidance. With a little know-how, navigating the IEP process is less intimidating and more empowering for parents in supporting their child’s education experience.

Audrey Benson

Behavior

Supervisor 922 NW Circle Blvd, Ste 160-112 Corvallis, OR 97330

kidsnw.org | 1.888.360.0360

Brought to you by:

KIDS NW connects families with compassionate caregivers, specially trained in serving individuals with disabilities.

pets are family

The darker side of cute

Everybody loves seeing an animal do something cute or even a little strange. A dog sliding down the stairs on his belly or one that one walks on two legs make for funny videos to share with friends. But sometimes these behaviors come from very real physical problems for the pet.

Despite a few outliers, pets are generally not thespians displaying their dramatic flare for artistic enrichment. Unless trained with treats, pets will sometimes stop or start a behavior because of pain. You may think Fluffy has gotten lazy because he doesn’t use his cat tree anymore, instead preferring to lounge in the sunbeams on the floor. Perhaps Fluffy does prefer the sunbeams, but maybe he’s grown arthritic and it’s painful to get into the cat tree now. Dogs who seem to prefer walking on their hind legs might have luxating patellas: when their knee caps pop out of socket, it might be less painful to walk upright.

Brought to you by:

Josiah Moses, DVM Eastgate Veterinary Clinic

In partnership with Willamette Veterinary Hospital & Ark Animal Hospital

As a general rule, if your pet suddenly exhibits a strange or kooky behavior, it’s worth checking in with your veterinarian. After a clean bill of health, you can go back to making and sharing the silly videos.

Karen

Director

Raising a child with ADHD/ADD

Children with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder have a brain difference that results in specific and unique behaviors, and many can be strengths. For example, they tend to be creative and athletic, and they can learn quickly due to a special ability to hyperfocus on topics that interest them.

However, as a parent, you may not be feeling like the behaviors your child exhibits are positive. Indeed, the authors of ADHD: What Everyone Needs to Know remark, “It takes a heroic amount of effort to raise a child with ADHD.”

So what should you do? First, if you haven’t yet gotten an official diagnosis, make an appointment with your child’s pediatrician for advice and referrals to local mental health professionals who diagnose and treat ADHD specifically.

It may take a while to get an appointment, so while you’re waiting, learn as much as you can about ADHD. There is a lot to know about, and you won’t learn it all in one online article. Many well-researched books are available, some free at your public library, as well as podcasts.

If you’re feeling upset about the idea of your child having a “disorder,” know that what you think you know about ADHD probably isn’t entirely correct. There is a gross misunderstanding about this brain difference, and more importantly, there are safe and effective ways to treat it. By seeing the right mental health provider, your child’s behavior and performance in school — and your relationship with them — can significantly improve.

Swanger

of OSU Kidspirit

Brought to you by: OSU KidSpirit, OSU Extension & Outreach kidspirit.oregonstate.edu

Ways to save at the Co-op

Everyone can save while shopping at the Co-op. Easy ways to start:

Look for the purple tags: Co-op Basics are products available at such low prices every day, you’d swear they were on sale. Look for the purple Basics tags on dozens of items as you shop, and find the latest sales at firstalt.coop/sales.

Shop the sales: Our Weekly Sales offer deals on fresh, seasonal produce along with local foods and products. The twice-monthly Co-op Deals flyers feature discounts on beloved organic and natural brands from around the world.

Get only what you need in Bulk: The Co-op’s Bulk department lets you get exactly as much — or little — of what you need, saving you from overpaying and keeping things fresh. For example, our wide selection of bulk spices means you can buy just a few bay leaves, which is a smart alternative to pricey packages. Or you can buy just a little of something you’re curious about, without worrying about wasting money.

Anyone can shop at First Alternative Co-op, with two locations open daily in Corvallis.From kombucha, coffee and condiments to cleaning products, supplements and body care, we’ve got just about any ingredient you can imagine.

Jasmin Woodside of First Alternative Co-op and her

You asked and we listened.

Recognizing the needs of the community, Samaritan Pharmacy is expanding. A second Corvallis location is now open and a new Sweet Home location will open in fall 2023.

• Quick service with short lines.

• Free mail delivery.

• Drug take-back bins.

• Sharps disposals.

• Medication therapy management.

• Pharmacist-prescribed medications including birth control, emergency insulin refills and more.

• Translation services for prescription labels.

• Medication guides and medication counseling.

• Drive-up windows and curbside pickup are offered at select locations.

For a list of locations in Albany, Corvallis and Lebanon, visit samhealth.org/Pharmacy.