Epictetus Ideas on Love, Happiness and Ambition

1 Epictetus Ideas On; Love Epictetus, a stoic philosopher, teaches us that everything we love or are attached to is not permanent and will soon pass away. He points out that the people we love are mortal, just like us and that just like for everything, there is also an allotted time for love (Fisher, 2015). Thus, one should only focus on what is under his or her control, even in love. It is important for us to accept the human condition as well as the bounds that have been established for us by nature. We have to acknowledge that we cannot possess what we love. The ones we love are on loan; hence we should always rejoice in them while they are still present amongst us. Epictetus reminds us that we should not allow sorrow or distress to fill us once they are gone.

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In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius points out that life is all about appreciating what you have presently. Doing so is the most important thing in life. Your life will be considered a waste if you make yourself miserable by desiring things that you cannot have. The fact that the stoics are opposed to being stirred by tender feelings of love and compassion for someone may make them appear anti-romantic to some people. However, this is not true as they were taken by life's beauty and held that people should love what is around them with all their power. I always remember Marcus Aurelius’ words whenever I come across something tempting me to love something I cannot have. This significantly applies in our present world that is characterized by widespread social media and internet usage. It has become easy to meet with individuals and lives totally different from ours – lives that can leave us filled with envy. Thus, the need to constantly remind myself that the greatest kind of love is loving what I have.

Tempering my passions with stoic philosophy will enable me to take a higher road towards living a life of love. The stoic philosophers, Epictetus and Aurelius, remind us that love and relationships are not eternal but temporary fleeting things. Developing a stoic mindset can help us lead a life of loving what is around us in addition to enabling us not to lose ourselves in fantasy or desire for things that are beyond our reach hence, making our lives be more balanced and beautiful as we get to learn of loving and living in new ways.

Happiness Epictetus believed that true happiness is derived from establishing your purpose in life, accepting your fate, as well as behaving morally regardless of the involved personal cost that may be realized (Fisher, 2015). Individuals who follow this philosophy perceive happiness as

3 something achieved through a great deal of sacrifice. Such people are hard workers, in general, living for the future and are ready to incur significant personal costs to satisfy their purpose in life without complaining much. The key to happiness for individuals practising this philosophy is working through pain and fear instead of avoiding them.

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius suggests that life’s happiness is dependent on the quality of thoughts one has. At the centre of Aurelius’ philosophy is the idea that while people have no control over what happens to them, they can actually control their reactions to the events in their lives, something that grants them great strength and freedom. While this may seem very difficult to believe, a look into the philosopher's own life offers positive proof of the maxim. Aurelius went through some great struggles all through his life. His rule was also characterized by diseases and near-constant warfare. Apart from his brother’s death, he also lost his parents when very young. Throughout these life experiences, he mastered how to live within his soul – a place of peace and equanimity. He believed that living from this space, inner citadel, accorded him the freedom to shape his own life by being able to control his thoughts adequately. Once you have clearly understood that some things are within your control and others are not, then you will begin to experience true happiness and freedom. Inner tranquillity and outer effectiveness become possibilities only after one has faced this understanding and learned to differentiate between what you can and cannot control.

Ambition Regarding this subject, Epictetus holds the idea that if you want some good, you should get it from yourself. So many times, we sit around waiting, hoping, begging, wishing, and craving for change to happen or luck to strike. We want to accomplish certain goals that we have

4 set, but we hold ourselves back from trying. Epictetus points out that the key is self-reliance.

Everyone has to take responsibility for him/herself, not leaving it to the whims of fortune or to the gods to establish whether we obtain what we want. According to Epictetus, we need to be the change we want to happen, the luck we want to strike, as well as the gift we would like to have (Fisher, 2015).

According to Aurelius, principles and action should be the source of our desire or ambition and must be limited to only what is in our control. He points out that nature of any kind does well on forward progress, and for a rational mind, progress implies seeking things it has control over, making unselfish actions its only aim, and not accepting falsehood. Thus, what we require to be successful in our forward progress or ambitions is deliberate action but not hope for any uncertainty. Achieving your ambition will require your consideration and deliberation.

Deliberate, purposeful individuals work on a different level. It is better to be humbled by the magnitude of what lies ahead and be determined to see it through irrespective of what comes by.

Instead of making it about what you wish to be or what you hope might happen, make it about what you feel you must do and say. Prepare and act instead of hoping and waiting. It is great that you want to achieve something. But, how do you get there? Is there anything that you are doing to achieve it? If you have clear answers to these questions to facilitate deliberate action, the stoics believe that you have a goal to see to but not a desire to pray on. It is foolishness to try and avoid something you clearly understand that you have no control, but it is considered wise to make changes to your mental faculties, aversions, desires, impulses, and judgements to minimize unnecessary suffering.

5 Reference Fisher, J. (2015). Epictetus on the Epistemology of the Art of Living. Apeiron, 48(1), 20-44.