As a sport-minded twelve-year-old girl, I watched that year’s Olympic Games in Barcelona from a beach hut on the shores of the Mediterranean Sea. On the screen I saw athletes achieve the most remarkable performances. Their experiences, their emotions and the emotions they aroused in spectators worldwide touched me deeply and made a huge impression.
In other words, I remember exactly where my dream first took shape. It was there, in Corsica, that I decided that I would one day take part in the Olympic Games myself.
At first, I believed that I would do this as an elite athlete, but after a few years I realised that I did not have enough ‘talent’ to make that possible. But I didn’t let this setback discourage me. ‘My dream is still my dream,’ I told myself.
So I decided to find a different way to get to the Olympics. I tried to find out all I could about who, in addition to the athletes, is necessary to make this gigantic sporting event happen. Coaches, physiotherapists, doctors? The answer to this question came to me when I watched a documentary about a sport psychologist in Australia. That was it! Supporting people to achieve their dream while at the same time realising my own. It sounded like the best job in the world. And that is what it turned out to be.
Following my graduation, as an occupational and organisational psychologist, I attempted to convince several sport federations of the potential value of sport psychology, but this was far from simple – or successful. As a result, I started work a few months later as an HR specialist in recruitment, before later moving on to a more general role as an HR manager. It soon became clear to me that I had a real talent for coaching people in the workplace and this role as ‘coach’ was also a good fit for both my identity and my dream.
This encouraged me to have a second try at breaking into the sporting world. I believed that my ten years of experience in the commercial world could be a major added value. Fortunately, Koen Umans, the current general manager of our women’s national basketball team, the Belgian Cats, believed it as well. Just as importantly, he believed in me. It was Koen who gave me the chance to take my first step as a sport psychologist. But it was by no means the last. I went on to practice as a sport psychologist in a number of different sports and I have had the pleasure of coaching many athletes. And this is how, in 2021 in Tokyo, I realised my dream to take part at the Olympics Games, helping Team Belgium to perform.
In this way, my talent was confirmed – a talent that has formed the basis for my entire career: the guidance and support of the personal development of individuals and teams, irrespective of whether they wish to evolve in the sporting world or the business world. I eventually combined my experience in both these worlds in my own company: Smart Mind.
It was during a Smart Mind training trajectory that I first got to know Tara Kuklis, the co-author of this book. Her openness, her coachability and the speed with which she mastered the Smart Mind coaching method immediately made a powerful positive impression on me. Her desire to learn and her ambition meant that our paths were destined to cross again before she graduated as an occupational and organisational psychologist. Following her completion of a successful internship at Smart Mind, we embarked together on a new adventure: the writing of this book, The Ultimate Victory.
‘Every time I do something, I want to win, to exceed my own expectations, to perform at the very highest level, and to bring home medals and cups. That feeling is fantastic.’
— Vincent Vanasch, hockey player
Top performers are prepared to make difficult choices
SUCCESS IS LIKE AN ICEBERG
Conscious decisions
It is sometimes difficult to achieve your goal without making tough choices. Will you be willing to do it? That is a question that colours the daily reality of every top performer, although it often escapes the public’s notice. Their whole life is geared to the delivery of top performances but this frequently implies the need to confront difficult decisions from an early age. There is an old adage which says that ‘to choose is to lose’ – and in some ways that is true. You don’t believe me? Just ask any top performer…
Ex-tennis player Justine Henin decided to break all ties with her father when she was still very young: ‘When you decide as a young and talented player to aim for a professional career, this does not mean that you are going to be happy every day. I have had difficult moments in my life, moments when I needed to make hard choices. I decided to leave home, because I had serious relational problems with my father. We were not in agreement about what I should do and this put me under a lot of pressure. I felt that he was holding me back. When I now look back on that decision, I have no regrets. But I wouldn’t recommend everyone to take such a step. Not everyone has the desire, the courage or the possibility to do something like that. Of course, it would have been great if my mother had lived for longer and if I had had a better relationship with my father. But that’s not what happened. That’s life, and you have to accept it and move on.’
Dedication
Elite athletes opt to follow their dream from an early age, but they often combine this with a course of studies. In this way, they prepare themselves for life after their sporting career. Making the right choices at the right moment can be a difficult balancing act.
Kristel Taelman gives guidance to elite athletes who want to combine their sporting activities with a course in further education: ‘The ones who are smart are those who dare to make a long-term plan that takes account of the different phases of their life. They try to achieve balance between sport, family, school and their own needs. They can see the big picture that is made up by those different phases and plan a long way ahead. This is hugely important. If you don’t have a long term plan, how can you know where you are going, even today?’
Opting to follow your dream can also often mean moving to a new place associated with that dream. This has major consequences for the social and family life of top performers, necessitating the surrender of a large part of their quality time with family and friends, or even the postponement of starting a family. These difficult but necessary choices and their ‘double life’ as both elite athlete and student can help to make young top performers in particular more mature than their age contemporaries. They need to make decisions that will only confront their peers much later in life. Some athletes will never have the opportunity to experience life in the same way as these peers, but on the reverse side of the coin the peers will never enjoy or understand the experiences of the athletes. In other words, top performers lose part of ‘ordinary’ life, so that they can lead an extraordinary life. Normal experiences like your first party, a holiday with friends or your own family are exchanged for the achievement of excellence and the winning of glittering prizes. This is a price that top performers are willing to pay.
Show jumper Grégory Wathelet also made this kind of choice: ‘At the moment, I don’t have any children, but that is something I want later on in my life. For now, I don’t have a problem making these choices, because they help me to achieve my sporting goals. I am fortunate to have a partner who understands what I do and where I want to go, and she helps me to get there. Whatever you do in life, you always have to make choices, and choosing is losing. It is not easy, but that is how things are in professional sport.’
Top performers know why
At some point in their career, almost all top athletes ask themselves whether it is really worth all the effort to carry on. This question can arise when they reach a particular sporting milestone, but it can also happen at moments when things are not going well. The secret is not to let yourself be dragged down into a dark hole, but to take your time to reflect and set new goals. Getting the proper mental guidance can help elite athletes and top performers in the business world to find a new direction, which can give a boost to or even extend their career.
‘My leadership competencies have evolved over the years. It requires self-leadership during your years of puberty to be convinced of what you are doing, to follow your passion with 100 percent commitment and to block out all distractions. In time, this self-leadership develops into the sharing of experiences with others around you, with the aim of making them better. In the national team, I work closely with the other keepers, because healthy competition is a driver that will allow me to develop and become an even better player. If my competitors get stronger, I know that I will need to push my boundaries further, if I want to retain my position as first keeper. It is a question of mindset.’
— Aisling D’Hooghe, hockey player
TWO MINDSETS
Fixed mindset
Intelligence cannot be learned
Leads to: a desire to appear smart, resulting in…
Challenge
Challenges are avoided
Obstacles
Give up in the face of failure
Effort
Regard effort as pointless
Criticism
Ignore criticism
Others’ success
Feel threatened by it
Consequence
Avoidance of all challenges and stagnating performance
Growth mindset
Intelligence can be developed
Leads to: a desire to learn, resulting in…
Challenge
Challenges are embraced
Obstacles
Try again in the face of failure
Effort
Regard effort as necessary
Criticism
Are open for criticism
Others’ success
Feel inspired and learn from it
Consequence
Make use of their potential and improve performance
Adapted from Two Mindsets (Dweek & Holmes, 2007)
Coach yourself!
Describe your next ultimate victory!
STEP 1
Give yourself a score for the following aspects of this attitude.
• I am convinced that there are no limits to my development potential.
• I am capable of self-criticism and can identify my own strengths and points for further development.
• I search in a proactive manner for feedback and feedforward.
• I can accept the leadership of others but decide for myself whether to follow them or not.
• I am fully aware of my learning process and know why I develop certain aspects and not others.
• I am mentally flexible and can adapt easily to new people and new situations.
STEP 2
Indicate how important it is for you to further develop this attitude as a means to achieving your goal.
STEP 3 0 10
Identify your challenges and your levers. (See part 2.)
My challenges: My levers:
STEP 4
Identify your mental skills that will help you to deal positively with challenges. (See part 3.)
How will these mental skills help you?
STEP 5
Name the concrete actions you will take on the road towards your ultimate victory.
&CELEBRATE
ATTITUDE 7 ENJOY
AND CELEBRATE
Word of thanks
‘If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together.’
This wonderful book has been written together with (and thanks to the help and support of) the following top performers:
Lars — Robbe — Gunter — Linda — Jens — Anouk — Julie — Louise — Jaouad — Cynthia — Jill — Kevin — Kimberly — Victor — Hanne — Bruno — Aisling — Steve — Stef — Jules — Margo — Antonia — Laurens — Frauke — Joachim — Sofie — Justine — Heleen — Pascal — Vincent — Camille — Fanny — Emma — Philip — Dominique — Toma — Elodie — Thomas — Heidi — Jean-Michel — Seppe — Emmanuel — Hendrik — Steven — Jorre — Grégory — Daniel — Olaf — Jef —
Jean — Kristel — Peter — Olivier — Kristien — Sylvie — Jean-François — Ruben — Ambre — Britt — Thibaut — Jeremy — Noor — Fernando — the Belgian Cats — the Belgian Cheetahs
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