Are You Always Angry

and this is my little dog, Flea !

Hi, my name’s Tim

Hi! Hi!

it h I lo v e p la y in g w up h im : d r e s s in g a s a d in o s a u r ,

Hop!

c o lo r i n g w i th our feet, and b u i ld i n g a fort under the bed to g a t h e r a ll o ur toys.

If I had my way, I’d never ever stop playing with him!

That’s why I hate it and find it really unfair when Dad comes in and says, “ Time for bed!”

weeee

!

throwing the ball to him,

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 1

30/03/20 12:26

and this is my little dog, Flea !

Hi, my name’s Tim

Hi! Hi!

it h I lo v e p la y in g w up h im : d r e s s in g a s a d in o s a u r ,

Hop!

c o lo r i n g w i th our feet, and b u i ld i n g a fort under the bed to g a t h e r a ll o ur toys.

If I had my way, I’d never ever stop playing with him!

That’s why I hate it and find it really unfair when Dad comes in and says, “ Time for bed!”

weeee

!

throwing the ball to him,

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 1

30/03/20 12:26

Everything started one fall evening. Without warning, Dad came up to my playmat (there was a battle going on between dragons, ogres, and dinosaurs). He yawned and said, “Tim, put away your toys. It’s time to go to bed.”

What??? Just when I was really enjoying myself?

A little flame began to burn inside my tummy, and it rose little by little to my hands, my arms, my face, and my mouth.

I shouted, “ I don’t want to go!”

But Dad was unshakable and repeated “ Time for bed.”

Grunt!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 2

30/03/20 12:26

Everything started one fall evening. Without warning, Dad came up to my playmat (there was a battle going on between dragons, ogres, and dinosaurs). He yawned and said, “Tim, put away your toys. It’s time to go to bed.”

What??? Just when I was really enjoying myself?

A little flame began to burn inside my tummy, and it rose little by little to my hands, my arms, my face, and my mouth.

I shouted, “ I don’t want to go!”

But Dad was unshakable and repeated “ Time for bed.”

Grunt!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 2

30/03/20 12:26

y mat, m o t n o yself e air. h t I threw m o t n i my toys l l a g n i l r hu

om! o o o o o B

I beat m y hands and fee on the f t loor and c ried a flood of tear s.

“ It’s really not fair,” I thought.

AAAA

HH!

I was really angry!

The vol can o exp lod ed; I did n’t hav e tim e to thi nk abo ut it.

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 3

30/03/20 12:26

y mat, m o t n o yself e air. h t I threw m o t n i my toys l l a g n i l r hu

om! o o o o o B

I beat m y hands and fee on the f t loor and c ried a flood of tear s.

“ It’s really not fair,” I thought.

AAAA

HH!

I was really angry!

The vol can o exp lod ed; I did n’t hav e tim e to thi nk abo ut it.

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 3

30/03/20 12:26

After that, it was the same story every night! I had to find a solution.

H!!!

G AAAAR

I tried changing into one of my dragons, breathing out all my anger and flying away, so I wouldn’t have to go to bed.

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30/03/20 12:27

After that, it was the same story every night! I had to find a solution.

H!!!

G AAAAR

I tried changing into one of my dragons, breathing out all my anger and flying away, so I wouldn’t have to go to bed.

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 4

30/03/20 12:27

I tried crying so much with anger that my tears would flood the whole house and wash away my bed so I wouldn’t have to go to sleep.

Sob .

Sob .

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 5

..

..

Splas

h!

30/03/20 12:27

I tried crying so much with anger that my tears would flood the whole house and wash away my bed so I wouldn’t have to go to sleep.

Sob .

Sob .

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 5

..

..

Splas

h!

30/03/20 12:27

I tried hiding inside a closet so that I could go on playing inside.

I wrote a very clear note and put it on the outside. It said: “ I’m having fun,

don’t disturb me!”

Hi!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 6

Hi!

30/03/20 12:27

I tried hiding inside a closet so that I could go on playing inside.

I wrote a very clear note and put it on the outside. It said: “ I’m having fun,

don’t disturb me!”

Hi!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 6

Hi!

30/03/20 12:27

I tried making an hourglass with Mom so that Dad can tell me a little before it’s time to stop playing and let me get used to the idea.

yeeeee!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 7

30/03/20 12:28

I tried making an hourglass with Mom so that Dad can tell me a little before it’s time to stop playing and let me get used to the idea.

yeeeee!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 7

30/03/20 12:28

come to my d a D d n a m o M g that I t r ie d s u g g e s t in ory a b o u t t s e it r o v a f e my ch that b e d a n d tell m u m o s e im t y r o y , I lo v e s t d r a g o n s . A c t u a ll my toys y a w a t u p o t it I c a n ’t w a gether! so we can be to

Dragons Hi! Hi!

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30/03/20 12:28

come to my d a D d n a m o M g that I t r ie d s u g g e s t in ory a b o u t t s e it r o v a f e my ch that b e d a n d tell m u m o s e im t y r o y , I lo v e s t d r a g o n s . A c t u a ll my toys y a w a t u p o t it I c a n ’t w a gether! so we can be to

Dragons Hi! Hi!

SOS anger-rabbia_ITA-ING-64961.indd 8

30/03/20 12:28

hidin g insid e a clos et.

I’ll admit that I still feel a little angry in my tummy when I have to stop playing, but I don’t shout like a gorilla anymore. Mom and Dad have realized how much I like playing, and I know they’ll stay with me for a little while after I put my toys away. Now going to bed is my favorite time!

Do you sometimes become an angry gorilla?

Check out my ideas and you’ll make difficult situations fun.

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ng into changi agon. a dr

ing flood use. the ho

I tried . . .

making an hourglass.

listenin f a v o r i t eg t o m y story.

30/03/20 12:28

S.O.S. Parents ADVICE FROM THE THERAPIST Anger is an important emotion in reaction to a desire or wish that is not fulfilled.

It is a protest against another person’s action that we don’t agree with. It is a defensive reaction and hides children’s need for help: They do not know how to make others understand or listen to them. Thus, it is functional for development: Children that become angry are expressing themselves and their identity as a person. But how can we legitimize this self-expression without it being transformed into destructive behaviors?

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ACCEPT: Bear in mind that children that cease to get angry have given up listening to what they feel and desire. They could become adults with little initiative. Therefore, however frustrating and exhausting it may be, accept anger as an important expression of self— something to modulate and not eliminate. While your child is stomping their feet, think to yourself, “They’re trying to tell me ‘I’m here too!’” And they have every right to do so.

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REMAIN: Stay with your child while they express their anger; respect it and let them kick and scream. Your child is releasing the physical energy of their anger.

Then, contain it physically with an embrace as soon as possible. Do not give up; the security of your presence will gradually calm them down.

RECOGNIZE: Children do not always seek a solution. Recognizing the desire underlying the angry protest is helpful in itself. Put yourself in your child’s shoes: What do they want? Bend down so that you can look them in the eyes and put their needs into words.

Talk about it. Explain why you’re refusing. You must understand that it is difficult to give up on something you desire very much.

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REGULATE: Finally, shift their attention to one or more ways to satisfy their need. “I’m afraid the swing is taken at the moment.

What about going down the slide backwards? I know you love that.”

CONTROL YOURSELF: The most difficult step is to control your own frustration, anger, or shame and the sense of inadequacy that your child’s displays of rage may produce in you, especially if they are in public. Think about what provokes such anger, recognize it, and breathe deeply before you act. If you react angrily in turn and try to avoid frustration by imposing your authority, you will trigger a dangerous test of strength.

30/03/20 12:29