Fall 2023 Issue 4 by Xpress Magazine

FALL 2023 ISSUE NO.4

Exams finishing and Holidays beginning Hard in the Paint Down the Drain

Belonging Within

ON THE FRONT COVER

Spotify Playlist

A cozy playlist to settle down for the holidays with

CONTENTS

Ethan Okamoto, a JapaneseAmerican cinematographer studying at SFSU, shows off his Haori, which is a traditional Japanese jacket typically worn over a Kimono, in the backyard of hischildhood home in Pasadena, Ca., on November 20, 2023.

PHOTO BY TAM VU

ON THE BACK COVER

Exams Finishing and Holidays Beginning

PHOTO BY TAM VU

Festive activities in the Bay

Hard in the Paint

Graffiti Art in San Francisco

Finding Belonging Within A Look into Racial Imposter Syndrome

Not-for-profit Music

Records, Tapes, CDs and so much more

Why people still seek the physical

A Public Health Service FALL 2023

PLAYLIST PHOTO

A cozy fireplace near the slopes at The Village at Palisades Tahoe Lodging on Thursday, Dec. 14, 2023.

PHOTO BY ALICIA MONTOYA

Physical Music in a Digital World

Down the Drain

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Victoria Aloe shows old photos of her grandmother, in San Francisco, Ca., on December 7,2023.

Broken TV with HydeFM painted over on the screen at the HydeFM radio office on the corner of 16th and Mission Street in San Francisco, California.

PHOTO BY RYO KOJIMA

EDITOR’S NOTE

STAFF

Welcome to the Fourth and f inal issue of Xpress Magazine this semester! Your ongoing support and enthusiasm for the stories we share each semester are truly appreciated. Your engagement fuels our passion for storytelling, motivating us to delve into diverse narratives that hold signif icance. In this edition, we’re excited to highlight the talent and innovation thriving in the Bay Area and on campus. “Nonprof it Music” explores a record shop that has united the music community for over a decade. Take a deep dive into the graff iti culture in SF with “Hard in the Paint.” Additionally, we explore the thought-provoking narrative of “Belonging Within,” examining what Racial Imposter Syndrome means for those who experience it. Thank you for joining us on this journey through diverse stories, perspectives, and talents. Your continued support is the lifeblood of our publication, and we eagerly anticipate bringing you more compelling content in the issues to come.

Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Diversity Editor Engagement Editor Copy Editor Photo Editor Multimedia Editor Co-Art Director Co-Art Director

Zackery Stehr Andrea Sto. Domingo Nadia Castro Daniela Perez David Ye Leilani Xicotencatl Tam Vu Alicia Montoya Ella Lerissa

Staff Writers

Amy Burke Bessette Andrea Jiménez David Chin Div Lukic Enrique García Faya Beeldstroo Giovanna Montoya Isabella Minnis Lydia Perez Sarah Louie Sydney Williams Andrew Fogel Colin Flynn Feven Mamo Neal Wong Ryosuke Kojima

Photographers

– Zackery Stehr

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How to scan code: 1. Open Spotify 4. Scan code 3

2. Tap search bar 5. Listen

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3. Tap camera 6. Enjoy!

Exams Finishing and Holidays Beginning Festive activities SF State students can do this season. Story and photography by Lydia Perez Design by Alicia Montoya

isitors are scattered around Union Square, one of many places in the Bay Area decorated during the holidays. Visitors are also seen taking photos in front of a greenery backdrop that says “Winter Wonderland In Union Square San Francisco.” As final exams are wrapping up, the semester is coming to an end. Students begin to go home for winter break, leaving the campus empty. Whether students have time to spare before going home, are staying in SF for the holidays or live in the Bay Area, there are plenty of festivities throughout December. From San Francisco to across the Bay Bridge, annual fairs, decorated homes and parks invite people to be festive during the holiday season. Some locations require a fee to enter depending on activity or location while others don’t require a fee.

Martin said lights at Christmas Tree Lane will be on from around 5 p.m. to 10 p.m.

San Francisco’s Union Square The Safeway Holiday Ice Rink in Union Square is brought out annually by Kaiser Permanente for people to come out and skate from Nov. 1, 2023 to Jan. 15, 2024. Alongside the ice rink is a tall and bright Christmas tree for people to see while skating across the ice. For $20, a general admission ticket includes a skate rental and 60 minutes to skate around. Attendees can buy tickets online as well as purchase a locker rental to store their belongings for an additional $5. “I also love the atmosphere of the city during the holiday season,” said Drew Parker, a second-year SF State student. “It’s been great people-watching. It’s a great time to walk around the city, whether it’s foresty areas, even more of the local areas like local parks, things like that — just seeing the winter aspect, the holiday season and the different areas of the city is something that I personally really enjoy.” Marcio Ramirez Lopez, a Big Bus Tours salesman, works during the weekends at Union Square. Even though he works weekends, Ramirez Lopez said Union Square has been lively during the peak hours. He said San Francisco is one of the biggest spots to do shopping as well as get their “holiday fix” with the Christmas tree. “It’s always nice just to come somewhere where you know there’s going to be people, especially where it’s a high-tourist area. So being a local, you’re going to come down here and talk to someone and kind of get that homey vibe fix that you might need,” said Ramirez Lopez. Parker said he and his friends will probably go ice skating at Union Square. Even though he won’t be around his family and friends from back home for the holidays, he still enjoys going out and exploring the city to bring him joy during the holiday season. Festive things Parker does includes watching cheesy holiday movies, listening to Christmas music and building gingerbread houses. “For anyone, but I think especially for college students, it’s their first time not being home for FALL 2023

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the holidays. I know I kind of said it already — just going out, even into the city, and just looking at the tree they put up in Union Square — little things like that you know you do back home somewhere helps overcome certain things,” said Parker. Mia Hill, a second-year psychology major at SF State, stayed on campus for Thanksgiving break. Hill will be going home a few days before Christmas to be with her family. Hill seemed surprised when she found out ice skating was available in San Francisco. “Is there ice skating? Where? [...] I’ve never been ice skating so maybe as a goodbye to all my friends because I think they’re staying [for the holidays] and I’m not, because I’m out of state,” said Hill.

Ghirardelli Square In SF, Ghirardelli Square’s Winter Wonderland provides activities for people to come out for festivities. From movies to photos with Santa Claus, Ghirardelli Square will be hosting events from Dec. 12 to 23. Movies to be played at Ghirardelli Square are “The Grinch” on Dec. 12, “The Nightmare Before Christmas” on Dec. 17 and “Elf” on Dec. 19. Santa Claus will be making appearances for photos on Dec. 13, 17, 21 and 23. Hands-on activities are ornament making on Dec. 13, card decorating on Dec. 14 and mistletoe making on Dec. 15. On Dec. 18, the Jewish Community Center of San Francisco will host the Glowing Hanukkah event where there will be a live glowing piano performance, candle lighting, crafts and a singalong. Ghirardelli Square will have live music by Dakil on Dec. 16, SF German Band on Dec. 17, MeloDious Christmas concert on Dec. 22 and the Homestead High School Choir on Dec. 23.

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Alameda’s Christmas Tree Lane Mike Martin, a resident of Christmas Tree Lane, said people who don’t get to go home for the holidays or locals returning home for the holidays visit to see the festive block. Christmas Tree Lane is a block on Thompson Avenue in Alameda, CA, which celebrates the holidays with homes draped in cheerful decorations — even the trees along the traffic island are hung with lights. The block has an array of different motifs, ranging from traditional themes like Santa Claus and Hanukkah to new-age decor like “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and “The Grinch.” Alameda’s Tap Dancing Christmas Trees will be performing at Christmas Tree Lane on Friday, Dec. 15 at 6 p.m. Christmas Tree Lane also has a mailbox for kids to drop off letters to Santa. Senders will sometimes receive a letter back, which was Martin’s kids’ favorite part of the season. Before moving to Alameda, Martin lived in Oakland and took his kids to Christmas Tree Lane during the holidays to see the decorated homes. This holiday season will be Martin’s 18th Christmas living on Thompson Avenue. Martin said his theme is the North Pole toy factory that has a conveyor belt, which he built with his kids about 10 years ago. “We knew very much what we were getting into and we found it exciting to share with everybody and just try to come up with some way to keep the lights not exactly the same in my house,” said Martin. He said there is no formal requirement to be a part of Christmas Tree Lane. “When you buy a house on this street, one of the disclosures is that it is Christmas Tree Lane for

the month of December,” said Martin. “I would say most people that buy a house on this street, love it or are very interested in doing that.” Martin said that Christmas Tree Lane was officially given the name of Thompson Avenue in 1938 after little pine trees which looked like Christmas trees were planted on the island. Martin recommends those who come out to Christmas Tree Lane to park a block or two away to enjoy the lights and avoid the traffic. “Having it as a tradition that [people] can do with friends, often we’ll see people who bring their own hot chocolate, maybe carol a little as they go along the street,” Martin said. “It’s a nice way to enjoy the fun of the holiday and be with some friends and family and hopefully enjoy the nice lights.”

Berkeley’s 40th Annual Telegraph Avenue Holiday Street Fair On Telegraph Avenue, between Dwight Street and Bancroft Way, is where the 40th Annual Telegraph Avenue Holiday Street Fair will take place throughout three weekends. On Dec. 9-10, 16-17 and 23-24 from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., there will be music, food and vendors. Grace Teasdale, a vendor who is taking charge of the street fair, said everything sold by vendors is handmade. Some local storefronts on Telegraph Avenue will also join the street fair but don’t offer 100% handmade items. “It’s for everybody — it’s very family-friendly and it’s just nice to be able to see what people have been creating all year and their heart is on their table and you get to take a little bit of them home and just getting that experience is beautiful,” said Teasdale. As far as handmade crafts that are sold, they range from a wide set of things such as clothing, body care products, jewelry and holiday apparel. “Everything is handmade which is locally sourced, so you’re keeping our money local, which is good for our community. And that is the purpose of the event — to boost our community,” said Teasdale. Visitors can expect a dance floor with live entertainment, activities for kids and a free gift-wrapping booth. The fair also offers different types of food such as Filipino food, baked goods and Mexican food. She said since food vendors don’t participate all six days of the fair, it’s okay to come on different days to see all the vendors. “It allows people to buy gifts that are unique and not just giving money to Amazon and it’s giving money back to local artists and giving the person buying it something unique that they can’t find somewhere else that’s very well-made,” said Teasdale. “It’s just a nice thing to continue in a world where everything can just be spit out of a machine.” For transportation, visitors can take BART to Downtown Berkeley and there will be a three- to

four-block walk to Telegraph Avenue. For visitors who are driving, all parking is free on Sundays. Besides street parking, the Telegraph-Channing Parking Garage is free for the first hour and only $1 per hour after that.

Tilden Parks Winter Wonderland Tilden Park’s Merry-Go-Round in Berkeley seems secluded, being surrounded by trees, and the only things heard are the music coming from the carousel and people talking. The area is decorated with traditional wood cutouts on the grass. The Tilden Park Merry-Go-Round is having its Winter Wonderland for people to stop by until Jan. 7. Beginning Dec. 18, the hours will be extended from Monday to Friday 4 to 8 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. It will be closed on Christmas Eve and Day but from Dec. 26 to Jan. 7, it will be open from 11am to 5pm One single-ride ticket for the carousel is $4 and is available to be purchased online at tildenmerrygoround.com. Olaf the Snowman from “Frozen” and Santa Claus will make appearances in the park based on a meet-and-greet schedule. There will also be Breakfast with Santa events

on specific dates throughout December from 8:30 to 10:30 a.m. There are also unlimited carousel rides during the event, and characters come in for photos and seasonal movies on select days. Reservations can be made on the website as well. Diana Kwasnicki, project manager and event coordinator of the Tilden Park Merry-Go-Round, said what makes the Merry-Go-Round and Winter Wonderland unique is that it’s in the middle of nowhere and there are lights everywhere The carousel is operated as one was in the 50s; instead of a button being pushed, or an audio recording being played, the operator of the carousel yells for everyone to wait for the bell. “The music, the lighting, the riding — it’s a 113-year-old carousel so everyone is treasuring those times,” said Kwasnicki. Christmas trees are placed along one side of the carousel decorated with ornaments available for purchase. “We have people come in every year just to buy the ornaments here,” said Kwasnicki. Kwasnicki said it’s good to come in the afternoon to avoid the rush. At night when Santa comes, Kwasnicki said it’ll be busier. “The carousel is actually a piece of moving art that you are able to ride,” Kwasnicki said. “You can’t do that with a canvas or anything like that. This is hand-carved, hand-painted. We don’t have a lot of antique carousels, especially in this side of the country. I think that’s a treasure, for sure.”

All four stars surround and are connected to Union Square’s Christmas tree by rope. OPPOSITE PAGE

Kwasnicki said the custom made and ornaments are quality over quantity at Tilden Park.

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Hard In The Paint Local artists detail the intricacies and misconceptions around the world of graffiti. Story by Giovanna Montoya Photography Andrew Fogel Design by Alicia Montoya

hroughout the streets of San Francisco, a myriad of vibrant artworks wind down alleyways and decorate the sides of buildings. A colorful tapestry of graffiti and murals blanket the mundane, industrial landscape. With each piece, the cityscape transforms into an exhibit of self-expression that emphasizes the culture of San Francisco. To distinguish between the different types of artists as well as the do’s and don’ts within the community, there is a plethora of street art terminology and rules to be educated on. When doing a large-scale commissioned piece, an artist would be referred to as a muralist; when doing graffiti art, an artist would be referred to as a writer. To combat incrimination, writers never use their legal government names. Instead, they sign their pieces with an alias known as a tag. Contemporary graffiti is delineated by a plethora of controversial aspects and subcategories. The sociocultural system embodies different styles and aesthetics, as well as morals and debates of vandalism. The removal of artworks, as well as efforts to limit the public act of graffiti writing, has become problematic for both artists and authorities alike. While certain individuals, authorities and many criminologists discern the art form as a sort of visual pollutiong, raffiti writing has a complex, multifaceted spectrum that extends beyond its negative reputation. Although vilified and criminalized, graffiti is a harmless form of rebellion with diverse cultural narratives, and provides a platform for underrepresented voices. “[In] Bolivia, where I’m from, women started the graffiti movement [...] to promote respecting women,” said Pablo “Raiz” Arroyo, a writer and muralist in San Francisco’s Mission district. “Then you go to Colombia and it was more of a revolution of people that studied typography and signwriters. Then you come to the States and you have it wrapped up in the hip-hop movement.” Arroyo emphasized that the influence of social media has somewhat devolved contemporary graffiti culture. “Everyone [is] trying to make a name for themselves, so you’ll have people that just do a two second hand style all over the city and just see their name all over the place,” [8] said Arroyo. “They don’t really give a shit about the quality of their style or anything like that. It’s just like ‘Oh, but look where I did it, isn’t that crazy?’” In the mid to late 90s, graffiti magazines or ‘Zines’, started being issued. Places like Tower Records would distribute publications that would provide their audience with a platform to see and read about a variety of different people’s artwork. There is a general hierarchy within graffiti culture. Many writers have made a respected name for themselves and are more recognized within the community than others. It is emphatically frowned upon to paint over a more experienced writer’s work, as well as tributes to dead writers. There is also a hierarchy within the differing artistic styles and aesthetics. The more dedicated, intricate works that utilize more color and style are called “pieces,” while the less detailed bubble-letter style is referred to as

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“throw-up.” At the bottom of the food chain sits the style most commonly seen around town on public transportation or in bathroom stalls, and is interchangeably known as “hand style” or “bus flow.” A 21-year-old graphic design major at San Francisco’s California College of the Arts explained the etiquette for painting over another writer’s work. For legal reasons, they will be referred to as their tag “SYCR.” “[Bus flow] can only be covered by a throw-up or it’s considered disrespectful, throw-up can only be covered by a piece [or] it’s considered disrespectful,” said SYCR. “People will start beef like that just because they think the other person is wack or whatnot.” SYCR has been graffiti writing for a little over seven years now and credits the older men in their life for their artistic path. Their natural sense of creativity and love for art also helped combat some boredom intolerance they would experience when they were younger. “It definitely [started as] an unmedicated ADHD-kid type of thing where I accidentally wrote on a few bus stops when I was bored,” said SYCR. “[It] ended up with me filling up notebooks and trying to figure out what I wanted to put up on walls and whatnot.” Another Bay Area graffiti artist and muralist also started their artistic journey around the age of 14 and connects it to some tendencies of their OCD.

TOP TO BOTTOM

Sycr holds a can of spray paint while a spider crawls on his fingers in Daly City on Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2023.

Sycr holds a can of spray paint up to a wall in Daly City on Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2023. Since he does most of his work in the middle of the night, he keeps a flashlight in his mouth to see where he’s painting. OPPOSITE PAGE

Sycr’s finished piece is pictured in Daly City on Wednesday, Nov. 29, 2023.

Due to legalities and for anonymity, they will be referred to by their tag, “Satyr.” Satyr has been writing for about 33 years and was introduced to the culture through skateboarding. They started observing and experimenting with graffiti tagging in the early 90s when they were in high school. During that time, another more experienced painter recognized Satyr’s potential and decided to take them under his wing for mentoring. “He basically asked me to send some of my best sketches to him, just to show him what I can do, and he sent it back corrected in red pen like a teacher,” said Satyr. “I got a full-blown college education through graffiti with this guy.” Throughout the history of the graffiti movement, mentorship has held significant importance to writing and the culture. Knowledge and wisdom transcend generations, strengthening the culture and ever-evolving artwork. “Graffiti culture is complicated; you have all these factions of what graffiti culture is,” said Arroyo. “You got old heads that really know the history of graffiti and what it really means to different communities.” Navigating the ropes of graffiti writing is vital to the community and reputation. The line between art and crime gets crossed when writing is done recklessly or selfishly without any genuine intent. “There [are] rules, but people perceive them differently,” said Ryan Cooper, a third-year studio art major at SF State.“There’s respect to it, there’s levels to it, but at the same time, some people take a criminal approach to it and don’t give a fuck. You can make the most beautiful piece and best letterings ever, and someone that has a really shitty tag that just wants to go over you—they could technically still do that.” A couple of months ago, Cooper went out to Ocean Beach to write on a wall that had been completely engulfed by graffiti for at least 10 years. At first glance, it’s easy to discern that San Francisco’s Ocean Beach is a renowned location for graffiti. Graffiti and murals span the entirety of the seawall at the western edge of the city. During any spray application, the paint and other chemicals create a noticeable and lingering

scent. Overspray disseminates throughout the air and travels away from the site. Once airborne, the fumes can carry for yards or even miles, depending on the location. Smelling the aerosol, a nearby beach patrol officer decided to investigate the scene. Working on his piece, Cooper noticed the officer heading toward him. He knew the smartest decision wasn’t to run in an attempt to evade authority but rather to stay still and cooperate. “I’m an artist, not a criminal,” said Cooper. Contradictory to the situation at hand, the officer expressed support for Cooper’s art. Despite this, he wasn’t willing to show leniency. While escorting Cooper off the beach and sitting him in the back of the squad car, the officer spoke to Cooper about the structure and style of his artwork. He even went as far as admiring the colors he had been using, stating that he was impressed that it matched the beach and setting that it was in. “Why are you arresting me and giving me props at the same time?” said Cooper. “It’s kind of a shame because you think that you’re doing a piece of art, while someone sees you as a criminal.” One of the controversial aspects of graffiti is the divide between whether it is applied legally or illegally. Most artists are rather selective with where they choose to write and will find locations that are more secluded and established such as the Ocean Beach seawall. “On the flipside of that, your art lasts longer because there’s not as many little kids [in secluded areas] or people who see your shit, and as a result, it’s less likely to get painted over,” said SYCR. The early 1900s was an influential time in art history. French artist Marcel Duchamp introduced what is known today as the Readymade Art Period. This era played a pivotal role in the development of conceptual art that revolutionarily influenced contemporary works and practices. The term “ready-made” describes everyday, mass-produced objects that have been isolated from their conventional use and promoted as works of art. “[Duchamp] put a toilet in a museum and said it’s art,” said Satyr. “It raises the question ‘What

is art?’ and the answer is anything you want it to be.” In their works, Satyr tends to lead toward the theme of nature. He takes a microscopic lens to smaller things found in nature and expands it on a macroscopic scale. Some of his paintings include giant crystals, mushrooms, Venus flytraps and other carnivorous plants and animals. “I want to make people feel uncomfortable sometimes,” said Satyr. “I want them to be like ‘Damn, that thing can eat me, man.’” Both Satyr and SYCR emphasize how the art form, as well as the adrenaline that accompanies it, often makes them feel one with nature. The hypervigilance of their surroundings causes the mind to wander. There’s a sort of loudness within the silence of the environment. Wind whistles in the trees, a deer breaks a branch in the distance or an owl ominously hoots as it flies overhead. Even the subtlest of sounds echo off of each and every surrounding surface, raising tensions. “Your mind wanders and you think ‘That could be a wolf, that could be a cop, it could be somebody coming to get you,’” said Satyr. ”You’re on high alert when you’re in those circumstances.” Graffiti takes plain, boring and neglected spaces and turns them into opportune canvases for vibrant works of art. The movement can be seen throughout history, not only as self-expression and artistic creativity but also as a form of rebellion, protest and advocacy. During the Cold War, one side of the Berlin Wall was covered in beautiful graffiti pieces and paintings. People would take to art as a form of rebellion against repression and to express their contempt for the divide it brought on. “I just don’t see [graffiti] not being a valid art form, or anyone having a valid argument against it being a valid art form,” said Satyr. The San Francisco Department of Public Works has established an ordinance that requires private property owners to remove graffiti from their buildings within 30 days. Even if they decide they like the piece and want to keep it, the owners will be charged a recurring fine. “It’s kind of like a gray area,” said Arroyo.

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Kiarra Enberg (L) and her mother, Laura Drake (R), pose for a portrait in their apartment building where they have lived in for about 20 years in San Francisco, Ca., on December 3, 2023.

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Finding Belonging Within. A Look into Racial Imposter Syndrome and what it can mean. Story by Faya Beeldstroo Photography by Tam Vu Design by Alicia Montoya

n recent years, San Francisco has established itself as a racially diverse city. Though, for some mixed-race folks, it can still be hard to see themselves reflected in those who are in the education field, the workplace and media — the result being that some mixed-race people find it hard to recognize themselves in the “race role models” that are shown in daily life and media. But what does this do for someone’s mental health? And for someone’s identity? This is the situation for Kiarra Enberg, a biology student at SF State who is Japanese, White and possibly Mexican. She grew up in what she considers a “generic” White American family, and the most Japanese culture she experienced was by visiting her family in Hawaii. She tried to join a Japanese culture club in middle school but got called out on the way she looked, which was “too White.” She recalls someone within this group telling her light-heartedly that she tried too hard to be Asian. “A lot of the people thought I was a White person who was really obsessed with Japanese culture,” Enberg said. Cambridge Dictionary defines being bicultural as coming from two or more cultural backgrounds. Bicultural is most known to people as the term “being mixed.” “I felt kind of hurt; one of them was one of my teachers who said that,” Enberg said. “So every time that I mentioned I was mixed-race, I felt guilty because I look very White and I do not look mixed at all. But I still feel different, and I know that I am different. I do find it interesting, but I also kind of feel like I am more of an outsider, and I worry about that.” For Enberg, those feelings were adding up to low self-esteem and self-worth issues, and she is still dealing with it to this day. Her mom, who is half Japanese and half White, always told her to be proud of who she is. Over the years even though she is still dealing with all the feelings, she is starting to get a little bit better. “I joined the SF State Mixed Club a month or two ago,” Enberg said. “It did kind of help me because I got to know there is so many more mixed people, since I don’t really get to meet them.” What also helped her get through her feelings of being an imposter is talking about it with her boyfriend, who is fully Asian, [8] as well as educating herself on her culture and learning Japanese. Ethan Okamoto, an SF State student majoring in cinema who is mixed Japanese and White, these feelings and experiences with his heritage are quite different. When he lived in Los Angeles, Okamoto spent most of his time in Little Tokyo, a district in Los Angeles where a lot of Japanese Americans live. “A lot of my friends, family and community are like community activists and social community members of Little Tokyo and places like Tuesday Night Cafe,” Okamoto said Tuesday Night Cafe is an Asian American public arts and performance venue based in LA. In 2017 he visited Japan with his family and felt really welcome over there. “One of the cool things about going to Japan was it felt like people who I thought were the minority were the majority for the first time in my life,” Okamoto said. Although Okamoto is half White, he did have a talk with his dad, who is of Japanese descent, about not being perceived as White or not being treated the same way as other White people because of what he looks like. “I immediately kind of ruled out being fully White as an option. It is kind of ridiculous, I feel like that inherently erases the other side of me, because White is more like a club than a race,” Okamoto said. “White American culture is very puritan. Even though I am half-White, I am still not White, because I have that one drop of Japanese in me, which negates everything else. [...] White people are not going to see you as White — that was one that stuck with me, FALL 2023

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that mentality or sentimentality, because it was immediately true as soon as I started hanging out with other kids.” The concept of racial imposter syndrome is still unknown even in existing literature — it is mostly about imposter feelings itself, said Shuyi Liu, an assistant professor at the department of psychology at SF State. She is currently researching imposter syndrome and focusing on racial minority groups in her research. “I absolutely think that it will be very beneficial if it is more of a known concept for everyone,” Liu said. “Because a lot of the time, those individuals feel like their experiences are not being validated because people are trying to put you in one box. We have a very binary view of individuals.” She said that when you are not being perceived as a whole person, it affects not only how you feel, how you speak, how you behave yourself and how you present yourself in different situations. That is not going to be healthy for them overall. “And so long-term, this will also show physically too, because there is a connection between psychological well-being and overall well-being,” Liu said. There are several factors that cause racial imposter syndrome, Liu said. One example is the language barrier between immigrant parents and their children who have become acclimated to American life and culture. Liu says that overall, it is mostly an internal battle. “For individuals who are more concerned about their identities, it is not just about the internal kind of anxiety they are having,” Liu said. “It is also about the messages they receive from other people: from their peers, from authority members, from even their families [...]They are treating them differently or asking questions in a way that just shows their lack of knowledge in this area.”

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Not knowing your heritage is something that Victoria Aloe Bell, a communications major and race and resistance minor at SF State, can relate to. She is half White and half Black, and both of her parents are also mixed. She said even though the community she was raised in was diverse, it was still very “whitewashed” to her. “I have felt racial imposter syndrome many times in my life, especially in college,” Bell said. “I have had it thrown into my face.” Once Bell got to college, that was where the identity crisis really started to settle. She became the president of Black Student Union at SF State. However, there were some issues regarding the board’s demographic, as certain people at BSU felt like the majority was light-skinned. They had an open forum that ended in an open forum which resulted in them telling Bell specifically that she was “not Black enough” and “didn’t represent the morals or the mission” of the BSU.

“They made a lot of

assumptions about me based on [my skin tone]”

“They made a lot of assumptions about me based on [my skin tone],” Bell said. “I think they felt like maybe I was a little more privileged or that I must have come from wealth or high social status, which is very far from the truth.” When she was looking for resources in high school,Bell found that there was a therapy fund that could help her: Black Girls Smile, an organization “with the mission to empower the mental health and well-being of young Black women and

girls through culturally and gender-responsive educational programming, support initiatives, and resource connections.”. This fund connected her with a therapist curated to her needs — specifically someone who is mixed themself. “I am proud to say since then I have done what I needed to do to heal from it, to really move forward, to not allow it to dictate how I view myself,” Bell said. “With a lack of the Black Student Union, I do not have Black culture in my life automatically. I have to look outwards for it and that is just an emotional labor in itself.” “All these things are things that aren’t talked about enough, but they all coexist within mixed women, whatever the mixture is, because women have that already oppressive state of being a woman, and then you feel all of the extra ways that trickles into your life based on your race, ethnicity, class — all these things,” Bell said. Bell said for those trying to get over racial imposter syndrome, her first tip is to never stop yourself from doing something just because somebody else said it might not work. “My second tip is join your cultural social group,” Bell said. “Even if you are an introvert, if you hate going outside, you do not want any friends or you are afraid: just go and do it,” Bell said. The best decision I ever made was going to my first BSU meeting in middle school, and though it took me a long time to really get myself grounded in the community. It changed my life for the better, and having peers who look like you is more important than most people probably realize.” Bell also said to go to therapy, to talk about it, to make sure you understand your feelings, because racial imposter syndrome is a very deep topic and it can have very adverse effects on your mental health.

“I immediately

kind of ruled out being fully White as an option. It is kind of ridiculous, I feel like that inherently erases the other side of me...”

“So as long as you’re giving yourself that open space to communicate about it and learn from others, then you’ll have the knowledge you need to equip yourself to move within the world,” Bell said. Liu says that racial imposter syndrome might be a phenomenon that is most prominent in the United States. The word “mixed” leads people to think about a biracial individual who has one parent who is Black and one parent who is White. She said that speaks to how narrowly people think about race and ethnicity in general, and even culture. It is not just about the skin color or even the culture itself. “I do think that there is a big component with racial imposter syndrome coming from the external world,” Liu added. “A lot of the time, it is because of the lack of knowledge other people have [...] There’s so much effort other people can do to make those individuals have a better experience.”

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Victoria Aloe shows an old photo of her grandmother, in San Francisco, Ca., on December 7, 2023.

Victoria Aloe’s grandmother’s yellow binder full of tarot reading information, and photos of her back in the day lay on a desk under Victoria’s current tarot deck and book in her bedroom in San Francisco, Ca., on December 7, 2023.

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Ethan Okamoto, a Japanese-American cinematographer studying at SFSU, poses for a portrait in the backyard of his childhood home in Pasadena, Ca., on November 20, 2023. Ethan Okamoto’s family Butsudan, a Buddhist altar which contains offerings and photos of relatives to honor ancestors, rests in his childhood home in Pasadena, Ca., on November 20,2023.

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Story by: Zackery Stehr Photography by: Tam Vu Designed by: Ella Lerissa Stickers, posters, and flyers, which echo the political and personal values of the store and of those who frequent the space, decorate the walls and doors of Thrillhouse Records on December 2, 2023 in San Francisco, Ca. (Tam Vu / Xpress Magazine)

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n the corner of Mission and 30th streets, sits a record shop — the door and outside window filled with collages of stickers and posters. Inside, the space is filled with even more stickers, posters and other graffiti on the walls and ceilings. The store is stocked with vinyl records of various genres, along with CDs, VHS tapes and DVDs. On weekdays, music is played for customers, but on weekends the music stops as just below the shop local bands begin to tune up and perform. Thrillhouse Records is a nonprofit record shop that has become a mecca for the San Francisco and greater Bay Area DIY music scene for over a decade. The shop is run on a volunteer basis, with all proceeds from sales in-store and online going back into paying bills and keeping the shop open. The basement has been converted into a small venue that hosts shows open to all ages every weekend with a relatively low cover fee — no more than $15. To the left of the record shop is a door that opens to a long and narrow walkway that takes you to the “backyard” of the venue. Once there, attendees walk down some steps into the basement where all the shows are held. Upon entering, on the left is a screen printing press with a table in front, usually set up with some merch from the bands playing that night. The stage itself is about 13 feet wide with string lights and a white backdrop that is lit with different images by a projector during performances. Those over six feet should be mindful of the low ceiling once inside. While not very big, the space could hold about 30 people. The venue has gained recognition within the local DIY music and the punk scene by being relatively accessible to bands. This was just what cofounder and SF State alum Fred Schrunk envisioned for the space when he and a few friends opened it back in 2007. Schrunk said what prompted him and some friends to start Thrillhouse was a reaction to the closing of Mission Records, a volunteer-run record store that held shows in its backyard, much like Thrillhouse. “It was both a terrible record store and a really magical place to be at the same time,” Schrunk said. “I really loved it.” Schrunk said that when Mission Records closed in 2004, it not only created a void in his own life but also the SF music scene. He and his friends eventually stopped waiting around for something to take its place and decided to create something of their own. “We were like, ‘Let’s just do it ourselves, how hard can it be?’” Schrunk said. “And then we did and realized it is really hard.”

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Initially, Schrunk and his friends’ goal was to have Thrillhouse open for about the same duration as Mission Records, which was about five years according to Schrunk. As the years went on, so did Thrillhouse. But the other seven founders left to follow other careers and passions — leaving Schrunk as the last of the original team. While Thrillhouse is a music shop and concert venue with a focus on the punk scene at its core, the team has incorporated other community events such as craft meetups, potlucks and movie nights. “Really, all we are is a collection of the interests of all the people that are in this space,” Schrunk said. Volunteer shifts for the day are divided into two categories: an opening shift from noon to 4 p.m. and a closing shift from 4 to 8 p.m. Most volunteers work about one day a week consistently, but some have more specialized tasks they maintain throughout the week. Eric Yee is one such volunteer. Yee has been volunteering at Thillhouse for over a decade, claiming the title of longest-staffed of the current cohort. Yee helps catalog and run the online shop where customers can purchase merchandise and shop digitally. He also creates all the current branding for Thrillhouse, from pins, posters and t-shirt designs down to the tags on the merchandise. Yee said that there isn’t anything else like Thrillhouse in SF, and what keeps the shop alive is the community that continues to come back. “The young people that come in here that want to volunteer — that’s basically it: the new energy keeping it going,” said Yee. Another volunteer is Ryan Cabaaero, who customers can frequently see on Saturdays. He’s not new to the DIY scene and even booked his first show at Thrillhouse on Nov. 25 with his band “Windsor Terrace” along with three other bands. He said that getting a booking at the space is relatively easy, but it helps to be a volunteer and involved with the Thrillhouse community. To arrange a show at Thrillhouse, the booker must not only coordinate a date with the Thrillhouse team but also organize the lineup and promote the event — typically using a flyer shared on social media. Additionally, they are responsible for setting up the stage, determining the door operation and cover, overseeing its execution and, most crucially: managing the cleanup afterward. On the night, Cabaaero booked his show. It was an optional $5 donation to enter, whereas on other nights, the entrance fee can range from $3 to $15, but if showgoers are lucky sometimes, no cost at all.

The X-Tra band performs their set for a show at Thrillhouse Records on December 2, 2023 in San Francisco, Ca. (Tam Vu / Xpress Magazine)

“Because its community ran the scene inside of the DIY community in San Francisco knows about it, they come to Thrillhouse,” Cabaaero said. One of the bands that played that night was “Treasure Island,” whose members live in Oakland, not on Treasure Island, and attend the charter school Oakland School for the Arts. For Asher Lockwood, the lead singer, he discovered Thrillhouse in 2021. “I started going to shows and doing online school,” Lockwood said. “And all that was happening [that year].” This is the band’s second time playing at the venue; the band keeps coming back for the chill and supportive environment that Thrillhouse and its community offers. “It’s a beautiful space that seems to not be as concerned with money and attracting a crowd as many other venues,” said Lockwood. Denisse Escovar and Khalil Greene came out to Thrillhouse to celebrate their friend Brenda’s birthday and enjoy the show at “Brenda’s Birthday Bash,” which was held on Dec. 2. Escovar and Greene both found out about Thrillhouse from living in the area while seeking out records. “My first time wasn’t for an event though — I came in and looked at the records, but I came a lot more often once I found out that there were events here,” Greene said. “I was like ‘Oh, that’s cool, it’s a nice little space [that’s] accessible to artists.’” Greene, who’s part of the band “Fundemento,” said that Thrillhouse is a great place for bands to not only promote themselves but also connect with other like-minded musicians in the community. Both Escovar and Greene said what makes this place unique is the small and homey atmosphere and that the space is here for everyone, being an allages venue. “It’s a little more dirty, but I mean for punk shows — that’s perfect,” said Greene. The drummer of the X-Tra band shouts into the microphone as she drums at Thrillhouse Records on December 2, 2023 in San Francisco, Ca. (Tam Vu / Xpress Magazine)

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Physical music in a digital world Physical music resurgence makes generations nostalgic Story by: Sydney Williams Photography by: Feven Mamo Design by: Ella Lerissa

Tunnel Records offers a diverse collection of genres thoughtfully organized for easy exploration. (Feven Mamo/Xpress Magazine)

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power switch is flipped on, revealing the low hum of a turntable, ready to play a carefully picked-out record. Once the record is placed on the platter of the turntable and the top of the turntable is closed, the tonearm clicks as it lifts and lowers onto the record. The record player’s stylus needle precisely lands at the start of the record, settling into the grooves with a loud thud. As the stylus needle spins around the record, cracking and popping from the dust and minor imperfections on the record echo from the speakers. Anticipation builds in the brief moment of silence before the stylus needle reaches the start of the first track. A warm hum comes from the speakers before the music starts and gets louder and louder. The turntable sits on the counter, spinning a record. The room is filled with the sound of smooth jazz making heads turn as they pass by the tucked-away record store. Records new and old are hung on the walls, are in carefully placed stacks and fill bookshelves around the small store. People stop by, recognize the nostalgia of the old records and reminisce on their favorite albums and artists while they flip through the many wooden crates of records. In an era dominated by technology and the convenience that digital music apps such as Spotify give us, where music is easily streamed at our fingertips, one might expect the charm of physical music such as records, CDs and even cassettes to fade away. However, hidden among music enthusiasts and audiophiles, there is a resurgence of interest in physical music in younger generations. Record stores have continued to provide services and experiences that music streaming apps are unable to give their consumers — the comfort and nostalgia that only a vinyl record, CD or cassette tape can evoke. The Recording Industry Association of America created a graph that shows the economic history of physical media. The graph shows that vinyl sales have been on the rise since 2006 and have increased again in 2018. In 2021, the total annual income revenue between vinyl, extended-play records and single-play records was more than $1 billion and is still going up today. Ben Wintroud grew up around jazz with influences from his uncle and jazz producer Orrin Keepnews and decided to open Tunnel Records in 2017. Now with two locations — one on Taraval Street and another inside the historic 4 Star Theater on Clement Street — Tunnel Records is open to serve vinyl enthusiasts new and experienced seven days a week, intending to be the go-to music store. Music is always changing but there has always been a need for record stores, even with the increase in the use of digital music. With years of knowledge about physical media and music in general, Wintroud can offer his consumers professional music recommendations and answer any questions someone might have about physical media. “We [record stores] will always be kind of gatekeepers of information,” said Wintroud. “We will know what’s new and

as we get to know our customers, we will have suggestions for them, and I think that will always be valid — kind of like going into a bookstore. If you tell the clerk at a bookstore your favorite author, they might be able to recommend something to you, and we can provide that service too.” When a customer walks into a record store, they are greeted by the music that has been carefully selected by the employee working behind the counter. The atmosphere invites consumers to browse through the many stacks and crates of records. The customer can touch the music and find a deeper connection to the media they are surrounded by, which is something that digital music is unable to give a person. “Listening to music digitally is really passive and I don’t think that people ever really get engrossed in what they are hearing, but when you actually have to start and stop something physically, I think it brings you closer to the actual media in itself,” said Wintroud. Record stores bring a person in older generations back to when they were younger. Older generations started buying and sustaining record-buying habits, and they are the reason why there is still a desire among younger generations to consume records. When a college or high school student walks into a record store, they see the now-vintage records displayed on the walls that a family member could have had when they were younger. They can now experience what it was like shopping for physical media, just like their family members did when they were their age. “There has a lot to do with the tangibility of holding something like a record that has an actual weight to it,” said Chris Veltri, the owner of Groove Merchant Records on Haight Street. “You can feel the age on a record, the patina from all the people that have owned it before you. There is something about it that until you really get into collecting them you might take for granted and not actually realize.” Shelby Ash has owned The Music Store in West Portal for 25 years. Ash opened his store from scratch, starting with just one rack of records and one rack of CDs. He has continued to share his love of music with San Francisco because he believes that San Francisco is a music town that enjoys having physical products. Records store pure analog sound whereas digital music files are typically recorded, shrunken-down and digitally translated versions of analog sound. Some audiophiles argue that the sound being produced through digital platforms sounds different than the music being produced by records. “When you shrink music down, like when you listen to a record and you shrink it down to a CD, you lose a little information,” Ash said. “But when you take the CD and you shrink it down to just streaming, you lose a lot of information, so songs don’t sound the same when you are listening online versus listening to it on a record — you lose a lot of sounds.’’ A lot of people won’t recognize the slight differences in sound, but to audiophiles, the pure sound that a record produces is very important. Limited edition and rare types of vinyl can be added to a collector’s collection. With fun colored pressings and limited quantities, collectors are more driven to add different editions to their collections. Collectors can say that they have an edition that most other people don’t have. “You can’t download a record,’’ Ash said. “You can download the music from a CD, but for record collectors, they want to have the actual record, the album cover, the artwork — they want the fact that they have to get up and flip the record. Ash has noticed the recent increase in demand for CDs and vinyls from college and high school students who come into his store. This generation of college and high school students grew up being surrounded by digital media so having something physical was something they weren’t

Ben Wintroub, the owner of Tunnel Records, has preserved a collection of photographs from his late father, a jazz player. These nostalgic images can be discovered within the store, on Dec. 5, 2023 (Feven Mamo/Xpress magazine)

familiar with. “My observation is that they [college and high school students] did not grow up with anything and their parents didn’t show them a CD,” Ash said. “They only had music online so they don’t have anything to identify with, and they are just getting into CDs and records because they didn’t have it as kids, and you have to have something.” SF State students can take a quick trip on the M-line Muni to The Music Shop in West Portal and browse the CDs and records that Ash has to offer. They are transported back in time, allowing them to experience the classic record store ambiance and explore many different genres of music. Alina Eckstein, a fourth-year music student at SF State, grew up around her parents’ large collection of physical media such as CDs and vinyl records. A CD of Kelly Clarkson’s “All I Ever Wanted,” which was gifted to her for her sixth Christmas, sparked her interest in collecting physical media. Since then, Eckstein has collected over 100 CDs and displays them on a CD rack in her dorm at SF State. Even with a large collection of CDs and vinyl, Eckstein enjoys how easily accessible and portable digital music streaming apps are, listening to about 70% digital music and 30% physical media, but she continues to collect physical media. “When I listen to digital music I usually don’t just play an album. I know a lot of people do but I’m more into shuffling an array of music,” Eckstein said. “When I listen to physical media, I’m listening to the CD or vinyl in its entirety, and you can see the effort that somebody put into the order of songs, and also, you can just say that you own it. That’s your CD, but when you download it on Spotify or Apple Music, everyone has access to it.” Collecting physical media can become expensive, which is one of the only things Eckstein doesn’t like about collecting physical media. Depending on the rarity of a new vinyl, the price point can range from $10 to $500. Physical media collectors can hunt for their favorite albums at thrift stores to try and save some money. Used vinyl at Community Thrift, located in San Francisco’s Mission District ranges between $1 to $3, and the only risk is the condition of the record. Eckstein plans to buy a new CD tower to continue to grow her collection, as she tends to buy a new CD or two every time she goes somewhere that sells physical media. She also hopes that she can pass down her love of collecting to the future generations that she interacts with. “Records [...] were great technology when they were made, and they still are,’’ said Wintroud. ‘’There will always be a subsection of people who desire that. I think that we will grow to a certain point but I don’t think that we will ever be as big as digital media, but I don’t think that [physical media] is going away.’’ FALL 2023

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SUPER project lead Ben Minoga prepares aliquot tubes in the Anand Lab in Hensill Hall. The tubes are used to house wastewater extracted from tampons which are pulled from various manholes on campus. (Andrea Jiménez/ Xpress Magazine)

ince the COVID-19 pandemic, people have become much more wary of illnesses — especially during the winter. Hospitals saw the most weekly admissions for COVID-19 cases in January of 2022, with January of 2021 being the second-most, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Three years later, experts continue to warn of winter COVID surges, the Biden administration continues to offer free at-home test kits, and some people continue to wear masks in crowded places. But at SF State, there is a unique method of disease detection and prevention. The SF State University Project on Environmental Pathogen Surveillance Research, or SUPER, was started by Archana Anand, an assistant professor in SF State’s biology department, and her students to track various diseases in the campus’s wastewater. SUPER is a collaborative effort between the Anand lab and Health Promotion & Wellness, the health education unit of the university’s Student Affairs & Enrollment Management office. “This stemmed because I did this for SARS-CoV-2, which is the virus that causes COVID-19, in wastewater before I moved to SF State,” Anand said. The experiment started in July 2023 with the replacement of four campus manhole covers. Each new cover has a hole that is about two inches in diameter in the center, through which a tampon is tied to a string and lowered into the sewer. The tampons absorb wastewater from the campus’s various buildings and residence halls. Students from the Anand lab replace the tampons every Tuesday and Thursday. “Tampons work just as effectively as this autosampler [the device typically used for wastewater studies] because they absorb the water and would give you an estimate of what is likely to be the case between eight and 12 hours,” Anand said. “That works really well in a campus because we think if we do this twice a week, it would work just as well as a 24-hour sample.” Once the wastewater is extracted from the tampons, it goes through a nanotrap. The water gets poured into an aliquot tube. Nanotrap particles are then added to the tube to capture and concentrate microbes. Magnets at the top and bottom of custom tube racks separate the microbes from any uninteresting substances such as human waste and food particles, soaps and detergents.

SF State students and faculty work to clarify public health. Story by: David Ye Photography by: Andrea Jiménez Design by: Ella Lerissa

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All photos: SUPER project lead Ben Mingoa prepares a new tampon for deployment to the manhole outside the Cesar Chavez Student Center. The tampon absorbs wastewater, which is used by the Anand lab for microbial research. (Andrea Jiménez/ Xpress Magazine)

“This method is a very recent development,” Anand said. “It fully came out a couple of months ago. Wastewater scientists are trying to use this to process wastewater because it gives you a faster turnaround of about six to eight hours to process a sample. Before, we would take about one to two days.” Although the wastewater used in the experiment comes strictly from the campus, the results can be applied to the rest of the Bay Area. “With wastewater treatment plants, you can get the whole area of maybe San Francisco,” said Gabriela Franco, a fourth-year microbiology student and one of the Anand lab’s technicians. “But this is just a smaller scale of just the campus, and that can be a model for the larger scale of the Bay Area or even California.” In the winter of 2022, the University of California, Berkeley and Stanford collaborated with the San Francisco Public Utilities Commission on a similar project, which monitored the spread of COVID-19 in a nursing home in San Francisco. There is hope that the Anand lab’s project can be equally effective in aiding public health both on and off campus. “During COVID, [wastewater research] was a powerful tool in helping hospitals and the community prepare for surges in cases before they happened,” said Karen Boyce, the director of Health Promotion & Wellness, in an email.

“Dr. Anand’s research project would allow SF State to do the same. At Health Promotion & Wellness, we use multiple data sources to plan what kinds of prevention programs and resources we offer students, such as flu shots, COVID tests and Narcan,” Boyce continued. “Having wastewater data paired with survey and trend data will increase how effective we can be. Even more exciting is that the research is being done by our own students, making it truly a student-driven response and highlights what SF State is all about.” Edgar De Anda, a resident assistant at Village in Centennial Square, thinks SUPER can also help on-campus housing communities protect themselves from various illnesses. “You can’t really solve a disease, but you can fix symptoms of it,” De Anda said. “That’s gonna be really helpful toward students living on campus and RAs because there’s less chance of getting a disease if you already know what the disease is, and the steps to take care of it.” In addition to continuing SUPER into next semester, Anand hopes to eventually include more illnesses, such as sexually transmitted diseases, in the experiment’s scope, and launch a community dashboard for real-time pathogen detection. “It’s a great tool to get a really good picture because not everyone will probably get tested on other things, but everyone uses the restroom,” Anand said. “So we’d all like to know what’s going on.”

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