Retire & Thrive

Retire & Thrive Retirement Information Fair magazine from AAWE

Google Home, Smartwatch Devices to stay safe – and snazzy!

Moving

On which side of the pond will you retire?

Downsizing

Your French antiques

Tips to My Younger Self

What I wish I'd known earlier

www.aaweparis.org 1

Your Bicultural Home

STRONGER, LEANER, FITTER. Personal Training / Nutrition Coaching / Low Back Pain Rehab

www.360pt.fr

Been meaning to explore your spiritual life?

We are a diverse faith community committed to compassion, social justice and freedom to think and learn.

Join us as we come together to support each other's personal search for meaning, drawing on many religious traditions and secular wisdom.

Monthly Sunday services at 10:30am in Paris 18. www.uuparis.org

AAWE: Association of American Women in Europe 34 avenue de New York 75116 Paris 01 40 70 11 80 aawe@orange.fr www.aaweparis.org President Clara Siverson Editor Jane Mobille Production & Photo Editor Josh O’Donovan Research Beatrice Desper

Dear friends, Entering retirement is a moment that we look towards with a mixture of titillating anticipation and fearful worry. For over 50 years, AAWE has provided a harbor for American people looking towards and sailing through retirement in France. We have shared personal experiences with each other and organized informative events for members reaching retirement age. This year, for the first time, we welcome the anglophone population in France to share in our wealth of knowledge.

Contributors Beth Austin, Denis Chauveau, Kristina Didouan, Lise Ducrey, Berna Huebner, Hilary Kaiser, Andy Marlow, Jane Mobille, Josh O'Donovan, Brian Woolf.

Bienvenue au salon Retire & Thrive! The partners who have answered the call to participate in our Fair are key institutions, associations, and firms which can make your transition to retired life in France go smoothly. On behalf of AAWE, I thank them all for their continued support of American citizens in France.

Photos Cover photo by Ania Audi / Page 5 by Ania Audi / Pages 8, 9, 10 by Denis Chauveau / Page 12 courtesy of Andy Marlow / Pages 14, 15 courtesy of Sunnybank Association / Page 20 courtesy of Jane Mobille / Pages 22, 24 by Kristina Didouan.

And to you, dear reader, if you do not yet know the Association of American Women in Europe, please note that our arms are wide open to welcome you at a future event: woman, man, American, or any anglo­phone in Paris, you can discover our organization online at www. aaweparis.org.

From Unsplash.com: p.4 Etretat beach

by Aurélien, Wild Spot; p.4 Feast by Jasmine Bartel; p.8 Lago di Braies, Prags, South Tyrol, Italy by Paul Gilmore; p.11

by NASA; p.12 by Marta Filipczyk; p.16 Coffee by Allison Christine, Montmartre

by John Towner; p.18 by Allie Smith; p.22 by Nicolas Gras; p.25 by Louis Hansel. facebook.com/AAWEFrance twitter.com/aaweparis1

Sincerely yours, Clara Siverson AAWE President

Retire & Thrive magazine is published in conjunction with Retire & Thrive, AAWE's Retirement Fair for Anglophones in France.

Tuesday October 15, 2019, at 65 quai d'Orsay, 75007 Paris. www.aaweparis.org/retire

instagram.com/aawe_paris/ Association régie par la loi du 1er juillet 1901 AAWE is a member of FAWCO, an NGO in Special Consultative Status with the UN Economic and Social Council.

“Retire & Thrive!”

AAWE’s Retirement Fair for Anglophones in France Tues Oct 15, 2019: 3:30-7pm

65 quai d’Orsay, 75007

© AAWE October 2019

www.aaweparis.org 1

AAWE’s Winter Festival & Holiday Sale!

Saturday, December 7th, 10am – 6pm

The American Church in Paris 65, quai d’Orsay, 75007 Paris Metro/RER Pont de l'Alma, Invalides, Alma Marceau. Bus 63 in front of church Entrance 2€. Under-12s free Association of American Women in Europe www.aaweparis.org

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

.

• Women's Vintage and Fashion Brands • Handicrafts and Holiday Gifts • Books, Games & Toys • Snacktime and Photos with Santa • Homemade Baked Cakes • Delicious Chili Buffet #winterfestival #circulareconomy

Need Help With Your Paperwork ???

Robynne Pendariès, AAWE member and Professional Organizer, can help you get a handle on your “admin”.

Call today for a free consultation at

06.09.84.43.58 and visit Robynne's website

www.professionalorganizers. homestead.com.

Cost: €200 per 5-hour organizing session

2 Retire & Thrive

Sometimes, we can feel over-taken by turns in our life, by our feelings.

Sometimes, we can feel over-taken by turns in our life, by our feelings.

I offer a secure, understanding and confidential environment to accompany individuals as we explore I offer a secure, understanding and connidential environment to accompany individuals as we explore and be complex complexfeelings feelingsduring duringtimes timesofoftransition. transition. andmanoeuver manoeuverthrough throughwhat what can can sometimes sometimes be

As a bilingual, bicultural therapist, our discussions can take place in English or in French.

As a bilingual, bicultural therapist, our discussions can take place in English or in French.

Because I understand that choosing a therapist is an important and personal decision, Because I understand that choosing a therapist is an important and personal decision, our our firstirst meeting is isdedicated know each other meeting dedicated to to getting getting totoknow each other and and is is free of of charge. free charge.

Jill Jacquot JillBates Bates Jacquot Person CenteredCounselor, Counselor, Paris Paris --Fontainebleau - on-line Person Centered Fontainebleau - on-line 06.48.15.67.88 jilljacquot@gmail.com 06.48.15.67.88 jilljacquot@gmail.com

Contents 4 — Participants Participants at Retire & Thrive Fair

18 — Moving to Retire

On which side of the pond will you retire?

Hilary Kaiser

8 — Preparing to Retire

One Franco-American couple's story Beth Austin & Denis Chauveau

20 — Coaching & Transition The coaching relationship during retirement Jane Mobille

11 — Staying Snazzy Gadgets for staying safe Josh O'Donovan

12 — Beating Back Pain Keeping a healthy spine Andy Marlow

14 — Sunnybank Association Supporting English-speaking seniors since 1892

22 — Downsizing your French Antiques

Getting value for your valuables Kristina Didouan

25 — Tips to my Younger Self AAWE women tell us what they wish they'd known earlier Lise Ducrey

Brian Woolf

16 — I Remember Better When I Paint

Alzheimer's and the creative arts Berna Huebner

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E V I R H T & E R I S T T E N R A P I C I T R PA AAWE

Helping American women Connect, Engage, and Thrive since 1961 Association of American Women in Europe 34 avenue de New York, 75116 Paris 01 40 70 11 80 www.aaweparis.org aawe@orange.fr

AD Seniors Aide à Domicile - 70 agences en France 12 Villa Cœur de Vey, 75014 Paris 01 42 18 51 40 08 05 69 20 40 www.adseniors.com sb@adseniors.com

ASSERAP AARO Americans Helping Americans Abroad since 1973 Association of Americans Resident Overseas 4 rue de Chevreuse 75006 Paris, France 01 47 20 24 15 www.aaro.org contact@aaro.org

4 Retire & Thrive

Maison des Associations, 4 rue Amélie, 75007 Paris 06 95 43 68 49 (Mon-Fri 9h-12h) www.asserap.fr contact@asserap.fr

Les Babadines Habitat partagé 2 rue de l’Ile Bouchard, 92140 Clamart 01 75 49 91 00 www.les-babadines.com sb@adseniors.com

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Bluelinea Ikram El Mousaoui Téléassistance, Bracelet d’autonomie Alzheimer, Coaching jeunes retraités 6 rue Blaise Pascal, 78510 Elancourt 01 85 76 74 40 – 0800 94 11 10 www.bluelinea.com ikram.elmousaoui@bluelinea.com

Cancer Support France Free confidential support for English-speaking people touched by cancer 0800 240 200 (helpline answerphone) www.cancersupportfrance.org paris-idf-president@cancersupportfrance.org

Diana Lynn Art Tours

FamilyZen

English Language Tours in Paris & in Rouen - Custom Tours also Available 06 52 18 81 92 www.dianalynnarttours.com Diana6648@mac.com

Personal admin help in English and French 24 rue Jean-Pierre Timbaud, 75011 Paris 01 79 73 66 76 www.facebook.com/FamilyZen/ www.familyzen.fr contact@familyzen.fr

EOR Consultants

Francis Melemedjian

Expertise Optimisation Retraites 36 rue Laborde, 75008 Paris 01 45 22 22 00 www.eor.fr contact@eor.fr

Technology: Computer, phone, cybersecurity, tech help 06 62 87 38 01 http://mytechguru.is-great.net contact.mytechguruisgreat@gmail.com

Jane Allan Pilates 06 12 47 71 11 allanjane7@gmail.com

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Jane Mobille, PCC

Mary Ellen Wessinger

Life & Executive Coach Coaching to approach life changes and ambitions 06 89 28 49 14 jam.atlantic@gmail.com www.linkedin.com/in/jane-mobille-pcc-895aa93

Pilates Instructor, in Versailles and neighboring communities. Equipment and mat classes available.

06 50 04 18 11 www.pilatesequilibreversailles.com/mary-ellenprofesseur-de-pilates/ mewfrance@yahoo.com

Jean Taquet

Papyhappy

A Cultural Bridge A Survival Kit for Paris SARL 61 rue de Montreuil, 75011 Paris 06 16 81 48 07 www.jeantaquet.com jean@jeantaquet.com

Advice and support to find a senior home Joachim Tavares, avenue de Sully Prolongée, 89300 Joigny 03 72 60 57 00 www.papyhappy.fr/ contact@papyhappy.com

Korian

Le Pari Solidaire

EPHAD Retirement homes www.korian.fr christelle.faytre@korian.fr

Connecting young people who need housing with seniors seeking company or additional income 6 rue Duchefdelaville, 75013 Paris 01 42 27 06 20 www.leparisolidaire.fr contact@leparisolidaire.fr

EHPAD Korian Monceau 26 rue Médéric, 75017 Paris 01 42 12 95 95 Daddyer Dupont Korian Champ-de-Mars 64 rue de la Fédération, 75015 Paris 01 56 58 33 33 Jonathan Szyzmanski jonathan.szymanski@korian.fr

Chris Boicos: Art Studies and lectures 14 bd St Martin, 75010 Paris 06 86 58 98 09 www.parisartstudies.com parisartstudies@gmail.com

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6 Retire & Thrive

Association of American Women in Europe

Connect Engage Thrive Join us at www.aaweparis.org

Pierre-Alain Conil

Université Inter-Âges Sorbonne

Notaire 15 rue des Saints Pères, 75006 Paris 01 42 60 34 60 www.moreldarleuxnotaires.fr/fr/international pac.ma@paris.notaires.fr

Cycles de conférences Université Inter-Âges, Sorbonne Université, Faculté des Lettres, 1 rue Victor Cousin, 75230 Paris cedex 05 01 40 46 26 19 www.lettres.sorbonne-universite.fr/se-cultiver-atout-age lettres-interages-secretariat@sorbonne-universite.fr

Reseau-CoSI Cohabitation et habitat intergénérationnels solidaires 10 quai de la Loire, 75019 Paris 09 72 63 88 46 reseau-cosi.org direction@reseau-cosi.org

Standard Athletic Club British sports and social club offering tennis, squash, gym, swimming pool, cricket and football, with a comfortable club house: full bar & restaurant facilities Route Forestière du Pavé de Meudon, 92360 Meudon-la-Forêt 01 46 26 16 09 www.saclub.org contact@saclub.org

US Embassy Consul General 2, avenue Gabriel, 75382 Paris Cedex 08 01 43 12 22 40 fr.usembassy.gov CitizenInfo@state.gov Robert Hannan

WICE Where Internationals Connect in English: Courses, Outings, Language Exchange 10 rue Tiphaine, 75015 Paris 01 45 66 75 50 www.wice-paris.org wice@wice-paris.org

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G N I R A P E R P E R I T E R O T When my husband saw retirement approaching twelve months out, as an engineer, he was particularly worried that he would learn nothing new once he retired, and that he wouldn’t have any interesting problems to solve anymore. He had seen other retirees from his company, especially early-leavers, lose interest in doing anything and enter into a “spirale negative”.

He didn’t want that for sure, and actually gave some thought to becoming a paid contractor or taking on some volunteer jobs in his field. An opportunity did present itself, but he finally decided that he would rather say a thorough goodbye to his job and career and move on to “free time”. He decided that earning money or influencing decisions would be replaced by pursuing his hobbies or new passions. So in those last months as he travelled for his job, a few minutes here or there in an airport or train, he drew up an Excel file.

The horizontal axis was social groups and the vertical axis was activities which he already enjoyed or new ones which he wanted to explore.

By Myself Empty mountains — the prerogative of retirees who can travel outside of school vacation

Facing page: New hobbies in retirement: Denis' photography led him to take up Urbex, or urban exploration — the exploration of manmade structures, usually abandoned ruins or hidden sites

With a friend

With social group or club

With ex co-workers

With family

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Reading

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Walking

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Cooking

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Music

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Travel Photography

x x x

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Retirement Newsletter

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Architecture/Archaeology

x x

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Having done this analysis well ahead of time, his retirement quickly filled up with activities of all sorts and with lots of human contact without ever looking at the spreadsheet again. He became involved with the retirees’ association of his former company. That evolved into a board position and being in charge of the newsletter layout. He even writes the occasional article for them. He joined the local Photo Club and became secretary. Little by little, other older interests within photography resurfaced, and he started doing training sessions on specific techniques and doing Urbex (taking pictures of abandoned buildings and sites). He goes mountain-biking and walking in the Forêt de Montmorency. He goes out to lunch with friends or co-workers twice a month and keeps up with

R

all the news. He is so busy now with activities and old friends that he has to keep his planner on his tablet.

After a few years of retirement, he has a few observations: Some people take the decision to move to the countryside or to another part of France or another country. Obviously, this makes the transition to a “successful” retirement more complicated. Also, no longer

Urbex photography by Denis Chauveau

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journées internationales d'information retraite franco-américaines organisées à Paris du mardi 25 juin au jeudi 27 juin 2019.

“An agreement effective July 1, 1988 between the United States and France improves social security protection for people who work or have worked in both countries. It helps many people who, without the agreement, would not be eligible for monthly retirement, disability or survivors benefits under the social security system of one or both countries.”

having responsibilities and the social stature that goes with that requires accepting this new situation and including some other way of being useful to society without necessarily getting something back. This may be the reason why retirees take on such a big share of volunteer opportunities, work in local associations, as well as become a big part of a family support system.

I walked in to the meeting with a document from the US Social Security administration which says I will never be able to claim any benefits from the US based on the few years I worked there before moving to France. I walked out with the fact that I will get a small payment every month from the US, and my husband will also. Quite simply, the US Social Security Claims Representative from the Embassy with whom I spoke applied the treaty and included my French quarters in the US S.S. database (the French will do the same when the time comes). Miraculous!

Beth Austin & Denis Chauveau

As to the administrative side of retiring, six months ahead of time, he wrote to the CNAV (the French Caisse Nationale d’Assurance Vieillesse) to check on his points and quarters. It is important to make sure any period that should have been accounted for has indeed been taken into account, or if not, then corrected by giving the appropriate paperwork. That includes military service and paid internships. Once all that is settled, the future retiree needs to contact any obligatory pension plans such as AGIRC and ARRCO and any other private pension plans he/she might have. Do not throw out any pay slips until you have completely finalized your various pension payments.

My turn is coming up within the next year. I will take advantage of all my partner’s tricks and tips to get the paperwork done efficiently. One new tip I have already followed is to get an appointment with the CNAV. It takes a few months, but is extremely useful, and allows you to get information on how/when/how much you will receive regarding the first tier, but also second tier, French pension plans.

Another extremely useful tip was one I discovered by accident from a Facebook posting in April 2019: Les

10 Retire & Thrive

Urbex photography by Denis Chauveau

Urbex photography by Denis Chauveau

I registered for an appointment and it turned out to be extremely useful. The US Social Security Administration, the CNAV and the AGIRC/ARCO were all present with computer links to their own data bases.

My points/quarters from all three parties were already prepared in a file. I was able to meet with the three groups, and confirm what I had already learned from my CNAV appointment last year. But the cherry on the cake is the Agreement :

STAY ING S NAZZ … AN Y D SAFE … AN D LO VED Ar scáth a chéile a mhairimid.

We live sheltered by one another (Irish proverb) As our lives move along and we leave familiar places to settle in new areas, or our friends and family take off for their own travels and adventures, our fluid, modern idea of community can be challenging.

Technology can be a barrier to making neighborly connections, or it can enhance the life of our community.

It’s great to have a warm network of neighbors and family – and better to know you could reach them in an emergency. After her mother's injury, Barbara’s daughter worried about leaving her in France and heading home to California. Barbara recognizes that living alone means her family worries about her, but she wasn’t keen on getting a "panic button": “Those things are for old ladies!” Figuring that any device she’s not committed to using consistently is a waste, she began to research the latest solutions, and zeroed in on the smartwatch.

Apple watch turned out to be ideal for her, since Barbara already uses an iPhone. It links easily to an iPhone, responds to voice instructions, and if you press the button on the side for 5 seconds or longer

it will call the emergency services for the country you are in. You can also designate an emergency contact person, who will be notified if you call the emergency services. This smartwatch can be worn in the shower and during the night, when a fall is more likely to take place. It charges pretty quickly during the daytime, and usually lasts for around 36 hours between charging. Aside from emergencies, it’s pretty handy for making calls and sending text messages, checking the weather – and it even tells time like a regular watch! To get around the fiddly side of things, it responds to voice instructions (“Hey Siri, call Catherine!”). Used along with the Health app on an iPhone, it records information about your medical identity and general health. Many accidents happen when people use the shower, or get up in the night, so being able to wear the smartwatch at all times means it’s likely to be right there should you need it. Many other brands of smartwatch offer similar features. Your tech advisor or salesperson should recommend a model which works with your phone and for your needs.

Voice-activated assistants such as Google Home can be useful, especially to make hands-free calls.

Google Home can call any phone

number, but cannot yet call the emergency services – “OK Google, call Fred”. It’s handy as a speaker phone for staying in touch, or to call a friend or family for help in an emergency. These devices also allow you to search the internet without fiddling with a screen or app, and you can set alarms to remind you about regular medications, for example. It can also create a digital photo frame, showing your pictures or those sent by your family via Google Photo.

New French company, Sunday Love, creates devices specifically for staying in touch, such as the Sunday Love box which allows families on the move to share photos and videos directly to the TV set of a grandparent. The creators quote Victor Hugo: "L'amour d'une famille, le centre autour duquel tout gravite et tout brille." A wonderful example of technology nurturing connections between loved ones.

The secret to living well is said to be: “Eat half – Walk double – Laugh triple – And love without measure.” Used well, technology can help us stay in touch with our network of friends, family and neighbors. Just don’t use it to replace them!

Josh O’Donovan

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T A E B O T N W I O A P H K C A B R U O Y Identifying the cause of your pain

There are many causes of lower back pain which is why generic treatments rarely provide anything other than short term relief. If you’re still suffering after having been given a vague diagnosis such as ‘nonspecific back pain’ and some pills to numb you down, then the good news is that you still have other, more effective options to explore.

A good place to start is by making a list of all the activities that increase your back pain throughout the day.

Then make a second list of all the activities that do not increase your pain and those that you can perform pain-free. Compare the lists and look for common movements, postures and loads that aggravate your pain.

To treat back pain successfully you have to identify and eliminate the cause of the pain instead of just treating the symptoms. While it’s sensible to start by seeing a physician to rule out any red flags such as a tumor, it’s far more likely that there is a mechanical or neurological cause of your pain. There may also be psychological factors that modulate your pain, but these are less likely to be the root cause.

For example, if you find that sitting for more than 15 minutes, tying your shoelaces, and driving a car all increase your pain, then your pain mechanism is posture, specifically a flexed spine posture. In this case, to eradicate your pain, you’ll have to become more conscious not to flex your spine while going about your day. Continuing to provoke your pain through flawed movement patterns will further sensitize the affected tissues, making further triggering of pain more likely.

Is surgery necessary?

Some people avoid seeking professional help because they’re scared that surgery is the only option for them.

Fortunately, this is rarely the case. Dr. Stuart McGill (author of Low Back Disorders and The Back Mechanic), widely regarded as the world’s leading expert on low back pathologies, sees only the absolute worst cases of low back pain. He attests that 95% of these challenging patients do not need surgery despite having been told it was the only cure available to them. McGill emphasizes that if you have good and bad days in terms of pain, you are not a candidate for surgery.

Instead, you need to identify the cause of the changing pain.

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Age-dependent nature of back pain Another factor to be taken into account when trying to identify the precise cause of your pain is the age of your spine. Generally, people in their thirties, forties and fifties are more vulnerable to discogenic pain originating from a damaged intervertebral disc. But, once you get beyond the age of 55, this type of debilitating pain becomes less common as the spine stiffens and becomes less mobile.

"If you’ve left the doctor’s office with only pain pills and no plan for active treatment, you did not see a back expert.”

–Stuart McGill, PhD

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Senior citizens who experience low back pain are more likely to be dealing with spine arthritis and stenosis (a narrowing of the spinal canal that pinches nerves).

Particularly those who have lived lives characterized by lots of spine motion, for example, plumbers, dan­ cers, or recreational squash players. As a result, they are more likely to have developed arthritic changes in their vertebra. This additional bone growth narrows the canals through which the spinal cord and nerve roots travel, making them more susceptible to becoming irritated.

Evaluating your pain triggers and learning how to avoid them Regardless of your age or the source of your pain, the path to a pain-free back begins with successfully identifying and eliminating your specific pain triggers. The lists you made previously will have given you an idea of what these are.

The next step is to perform a series of tests designed to deliberately provoke your pain. These will help you hone in on your specific pain triggers and know which strategies to use to avoid them. You can either follow the steps outlined in McGill’s book, Back Mechanic, or get a competent movement professional to assist you.

Once your pain triggers have been identified, you’ll need to find pain-free postures while sitting, standing, and lying down. Then, you'll need to learn some basic movement tools so that you’re able to move in the most spine-conserving way possible. This will involve bracing the abdominal muscles at an appropriate intensity for the task at hand in order to stabilize the spine, whilst moving through the hips and shoulders (instead of the spine).

a fundamental part of your recovery and get you ready for the next stage.

Building a resilient back Once the goal of becoming pain-free is achieved, the next stage is expanding your pain-free capabilities and developing a resilient back for life. This involves increasing the endurance of all the muscles of the torso to make them more effective at stabilizing the spine and minimizing micro-movements that irritate nerves.

McGill identifies the exercises most effective at developing muscular endurance whilst simultaneously sparing the spine as: the modified curl-up, the side bridge and the birddog, collectively known as 'The Big 3’. Developing muscular endurance is more important than developing strength at this stage.

The other essential component of any back pain elimination program is simply walking. It’s important to maintain an upright posture and walk briskly in order to allow the back muscles to relax. For older individuals whose pain increases with walking, the program should be performed in shorter intervals to gradually build up capacity.

Andy Marlow Andy Marlow is Founder and Head Trainer at 360 Personal Training and is currently the only McGill Method certified personal trainer in France. He would be happy to answer any questions about back pain. http://360pt.fr; email: andy@360pt.fr

McGill Method Certified Practitioners: www.backfitpro.com/backpain/mcgill-methodcertification-practitioners/ Back Mechanic: www.backfitpro.com/eu/shop.html or www.amazon. com/Back-Mechanic-Stuart-McGill-2015-09-30/dp/ B01FKSGJYC

These new movement patterns must be applied to all of your daily activities for your pain to wind down successfully. This practice is known as spine hygiene.

Remembering to move correctly when sitting down, standing up, cleaning your teeth, opening doors, using the vacuum cleaner, picking something up, etc. will be

www.aaweparis.org 13

Lunch

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SUNN Y ASSO BANK CIATI ON

Interview with Brian Woolf of Sunnybank Association

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The Grange, Sunnybank's home since 2010

for lack of money; patients paid simply according to their means. The hospital's longest serving doctor, Dr Ginner, never charged any fees. Over the years, many wealthy patrons financed the hospital, including Sir Sydney Waterlow, Col Eric Dunstan, and Nulbar Gulbenkian. Sadly, however, the hospital was forced to close in 1997 because it could no longer remain solvent and conform to modern health standards. The buildings were demolished and the land sold.

Please tell us about Sunnybank's history.

The original Sunny Bank was founded in 1892 by a group of British residents in and around Cannes and financed by personal donations. In 1897 they built a permanent cottage hospital which continued to operate for one hundred years. During the First World War it remained open, and in 1918 shared its facilities with the American Red Cross. Following the war, the hospital services were available from January to May each year, however during the 1930s it opened from September to May in keeping with the 'season'.

When Cannes was occupied by the Germans in 1942, the hospital again remained open and continued to nurse its patients. Nurse Elsie Gladman recalled in her book Uncertain Tomorrows how they lived "through endless days and nights with the continual threat of being evacuated from the hospital to a concentration camp".

A perpetual problem was that of raising enough funds to keep the hospital running. No one was turned away

14  Retire & Thrive

Sunnybank took its new guise in 2010 with its base at The Grange and its partnership with Emera, a leading provider of nursing homes and apartments for seniors.

On site we have Victoria Retirement Home and Albert Residence for Seniors, so Sunnybank continues to serve the community in time-honoured tradition.

In particular, we offer English language services: those whose mother tongue is English tend to lose their non -maternal languages first as they age and/or become memory impaired. Today, we serve several hundred seniors per year.

Volunteers at Christmas, bringing holiday cheer

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What are the main services you provide for seniors?

The Grange is a social centre as well as being Sunnybank's fund-raising base. It offers seniors the opportunity to spend time with their friends and younger compatriots in convivial surroundings. It is an important part of the lives of many who look forward to our open days where they may enjoy a light lunch, often outside on the beautiful terrace. These companionable moments help stave off isolation and loneliness. Other associations are offered use free gratis at the Grange.

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Which programs make you feel most proud?

We are proud that we have a daily Visitors programme to residents of Victoria Retirement Home. Also, we are proud of the Grange with its social setting and an offer of use free gratis to other Associations. Finally, we are delighted to offer English language teaching to key members of staff at Victoria.

Tell us a bit about your volunteers?

The volunteers are a great team coming from a wide range of backgrounds. Good friendships are made and they take pleasure in the service provided. Their work is hard, sorting enormous numbers of donated bags of clothing, boxes of books and bric-a-brac, but rewarded by the financial donations received. The visitor (to Victoria Retirement Home) volunteers provide key support to the residents...the oldest of whom is 101 and has had three letters from the Queen (60 then 70 years of marriage and her 100th birthday)!

A well-stocked library

Anything else that you would like to share with us?

Sunnybank's mission is to support seniors in retirement homes in the Alpes Maritimes and the Var. This support is both practical and moral, and in some cases includes providing limited financial support. We also work with our sister association, Riviera Lifeline, which helps seniors to remain independent in their own homes. See their website at rivieralifeline.org. They need support too, to help the seniors on the CĂ´te. Please! We are always looking for new volunteers, for anything from preparing lunches to serving on the Committee which runs the Association.

Sunnybank Association 815 Chemin des Gourettes, 06370 Mouans Sartoux 04 93 47 94 20 info@sunny-bank.org www.sunny-bank.org

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R E T T E B R E B M E T M N I A P I RE I N E H W It is an honor to share the words of my mother, an artist who had Alzheimer’s.

Her words, “I Remember Better When I Paint”, are now the title of a film, book, and play.

When I was trying to connect with my mother, an artist struggling with memory loss and who had stopped painting, I asked, “Mother, do you want to paint?” And to my amazement, she responded: “Yes, I REMEMBER better when I paint.” In fact, neurologists say that with memory-impaired people, parts of the brain are spared, and therefore they can benefit from the creative arts. The film I Remember Better When I Paint shows how my mother who had not been talking – or painting – came alive and started to paint. Yasmin Aga Khan also talks about her mother, Rita Hayworth, her Alzheimer’s, and how she painted.

It was my mother who guided me with her words of wisdom. In fact, it is through my own odyssey with my mother’s experience with Alzheimer’s that I was able to see how creativity changed her life and indeed might change the lives of others. And it also changes the way we look at Alzheimer’s.

The film is narrated by Olivia de Havilland—the great film star of “Gone with the Wind” and winner of two Academy Awards for best actress in the 1940s. She had moved to Paris in the 1950s and has been a wellknown member of the American community there ever since. She told us, "I would like to narrate that film!” and explained that she had many friends who had been affected by this disease and would like to do whatever she could to help address the problem. She also contributed her ideas for the film. We are so appreciative.

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I Remember Better When I Paint was the first international documentary about the positive impact of art and other creative therapies on people with memory impairment. Filming was done in many parts of North America and Europe and shows Alzheimer’s patients focusing and reconnecting as they paint at their homes and care facilities. Our camera also filmed in front of master paintings at the Louvre, Seurat’s Grande Jatte at the Art Institute of Chicago, and Renoir’s Boating Party at the Phillips Collection, as well as at the Big Apple Circus.

A number of renowned neurologists explain how creative activities engage areas of the brain that are not damaged or less damaged by the disease – and thus help reawaken a sense of personality, identity, and dignity.

I want to share a few things we are doing now to get the word out to show that the creative arts can change the quality of life of people with Alzheimer’s.

We founded the Alz Chat, a weekly twitter-driven chat on Mondays at 3 pm EST/ 9 pm CET, where Alz caregivers and experts share a new dementia caregiving topic each week (twitter.com/@alzchat). We have over 7,500 followers. Yet perhaps the widest exposure has come about through public television. The PBS stations in Washington, Chicago, and New York began to broadcast the film. And then the Chicago station WTTW agreed to sponsor and distribute it throughout the PBS network! The film has been broadcast OVER 4000 SEPARATE SHOWINGS in the US. A third dimension of our ongoing efforts concerns our inter-generational projects. Through the Hilgos Foundation (my mother painted under the name “Hilgos”), we established the Hilgos Award in 1999. This scholarship provides funding at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, where she graduated. It supports artistic creation for people with memory impairment. We encourage students to do just what the first group of students did when they started painting with my mother.

Today many students have received the Hilgos Award and continue this truly life-giving work. To help spread the word to younger students, we have also created a short play based on the concept that children will respond to a story if they participate in telling it. Children read from a script and tell the story of Hilgos and the students who painted with her. And we hope we can spread this same program to many schools.

One of the nurses who we met in the film is Dorothy Seman – and she also reappears in our book. She writes about how to help people with Alzheimer’s, as she did every day at the VA hospital in Chicago. Seman adds an important thought to the story when she writes: “I think our health education does not begin to teach the potential for the sacred/spiritual relationship that can and should exist. Much of the real comfort and healing that needs to be done is in the context of listening ‘with the ears of our heart’.”

Listening with the ears of the heart sums up beautifully the entire project.

In retrospect, that’s what I was doing—listening with the ears of my heart—when I asked my mother if she wanted to start painting again, and she gave the answer that caught my attention, inspired my action, and then later became the title of the film, book and play I Remember Better When I Paint.

Berna Huebner

I Remember Better When I Paint, by Eric Ellena and Berna Huebner, presented by French Connection Films and the Hilgos Foundation •

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54AtoQVGfwU

•

Film Blog: http://irememberbetterwhenipaint. com

•

Twitter: @IRememberBetter

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ON W HICH OF TH SIDE E PON D?

Prologue: Retiring to a US University Town

When I retired from teaching for the French Education Nationale ten years ago, I was determined to have an active retirement. My sons were grown and married but had no children yet. So I decided I’d go around the world for six months. Thanks to my special Air France plane ticket, I traveled to Asia, Central America, and South America. Following my trip, I contacted AGIR, a French NGO that sends retired professional people abroad as volunteers on short-term missions. Paying for my transportation and my living expenses, they sent me to China, where I replaced an English teacher at the French Lycée of Shanghai for six months.

© Hilary Kaiser. See: hilarykaiser.wordpress.com

On my way back to Paris from China, I visited friends in San Francisco, which I still consider my “home town,” even though I no longer have any family there.

After all my traveling, it felt good to reconnect with my American roots and mother tongue. In fact, it felt so good I decided to stay for several months and to see what it was like living in the US again after some 40+ years in France. These several months turned into seven years of spending part of the year in Paris and part of the year in my home state. Because I couldn’t find affordable short-term rentals in San Francisco itself, a friend suggested I look for a place in Berkeley. So Berkeley was where I ended up, and, as it turned out, it was the perfect solution for me since it’s a university town with a lot going on.

Never one to sit at home twiddling my thumbs for very long, the first organization I joined was OLLI Berkeley, which is one of 119 Osher Lifelong Learning Institutes supported by the Bernard Osher Foundation. The way it describes itself appealed to me: an ongoing learning community of peers; an interdisciplinary forum for Berkeley faculty; and an intellectual and cultural connection to the university and the city of Berkeley. By way of example, my first half-year in Berkeley, I took a course on Russian literature, attended a story-telling workshop, sang my heart out in The Joy of Singing, joined a book club, and audited a class on American literature at the University. During those first few months, I also took intermediate

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tennis classes through the City of Berkeley’s Parks and Recreation Department and met several women of my age. To this day, I still play with them on public courts whenever I’m in Berkeley on a Friday.

Being a frustrated journalist at heart, I discovered that the Berkeley Graduate School of Journalism on campus hosts bi-monthly talks by journalists – many of them graduates of the University – that are open to the public. I enjoyed hearing representatives of the media speak, and every time I hear Tamara Keith report from the White House on NPR, I think to myself: “I heard her speak at Berkeley soon after she graduated.”

Another organization I joined is Stagebridge, the nation’s oldest senior performing arts company. I first took courses in storytelling and was lucky to later participate in storytelling events on stage and in senior centers around the Bay Area. After that, I started taking courses in playwriting, acting, and directing. Over the past seven years, I have written many 10-minute plays, as well as four full-length ones. Scenes from several of my plays were performed in California, and I have also had readings of my plays in Paris. As for acting, I have taken classes in basic acting and the Uta Hagan method. One of the highlights of my acting experience at Stagebridge was when I played the role of Mrs. Roby in a performance of “Xingu”, a short story by Edith Wharton adapted to the stage by the San Francisco troupe Word for Word.

I could go on and on about all the activities available in Berkeley—Sierra Club hikes, New Yorker discussion dinners, Les Amis de la Culture Française, old movies at the Pacific Film Archives, and volunteering for English literacy programs in local schools. Suffice it to say that retiring to a university town in the US, even if it is only for part of the year, has been, insofar as I am concerned, a real source of personal épanouissement.

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Epilogue: Return to Paris I’m now back permanently in Paris, although I expect I’ll return to Berkeley from time to time during the summers. Even though I felt very comfortable living in California, there was something missing, something that drew me back to my adopted country, France.

What was it? It certainly wasn’t the grey and dismal skies of Paris winters. And, it wasn’t the cultural life of the French capital and the possibility of traveling easily throughout Europe, although I greatly enjoy these opportunities and take advantage of them whenever I can. Nor was it the various clubs and associations I belong to in Paris or the group of old and new friends I have made here over several decades. No, it was something else, something I never really understood until I experienced it personally. I have come back because I very much missed my four grandchildren, aged 1½ to 7. Friends understand if you travel far and wide or live in another country. Grandchildren don’t always.

I decided that now was the time to see my two granddaughters and two grandsons on a weekly basis: to play and bond with them as often as possible and to help care for them when my sons and daughters-in-law need me. When I was in California, I, of course, spoke on the phone and Skyped with my grandchildren, but nothing really replaces proximity and physical contact. Besides, and other grandparents have confirmed this, I reasoned that when they are older, their main centers of interest will be their friends, their sports and activities, their play stations. Now is the time to be with them. So, even though I haven’t baked in years, I’m now making brownies and cornbread; I’m playing dominoes and “teacher”; I’m taking them to the park and reading them bedtime stories. Not having had a role model for this – my mother’s mother, my only grandparent, was never present for my brother

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and me – I’m learning as I go. It’s sometimes hard, but fun, and I’m very much enjoying it.

Although they all prefer to speak French with me, I’ve started giving English lessons to my eldest granddaughter and a little friend of hers, and I hope to pursue this with the other grandchildren in the near future.

I also try to share with them aspects of my American culture and my love of travel. People have asked me why I don't speak English all the time to my grandchildren. Believe me, I tried in the beginning, but in our case – and every case is different – it just didn't work.

It became a bit of a punishment ("GrandeMa's coming. Now you can speak English."), and they rejected that (and me). Nevertheless, I'm sure their English will come with time. They ask me questions about America and hope to go there on holiday when they're older; they know that they, too, have American citizenship in addition to French, and they are proud of this.

As a mother of three sons, caring for my two little grandsons brings back memories of how my sons were at their ages. Dealing with my two granddaughters, however, is a completely new experience. Their French mothers are bright and independent young women and are bringing up their daughters to be so, too. I’m realizing more and more how much these little girls will have the world in the palms of their hands as they grow into mature human beings. I never thought I’d want to be called Grandma. To my mind, it’s an oldfashioned and “unsophisticated” name. But I love the way my grandchildren call me “GrandeMa” with their French accents, someone whom I’m very proud to be.

Hilary Kaiser

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& G N I H C A N CO O I T I S N A R T We coaches believe that nobody “needs” coaching.

Rather, we recognize that engaging in a coaching relationship can be valuable and particularly beneficial at certain times in an individual’s life. Might retirement be one of those times?

First, what is coaching?

Coaching is a confidential relationship between a coach and an individual who wishes to learn more about themselves and their "wants" in order to move forward from where they are now. Simply put, a coach accompanies an individual who wishes to move from point “A” to point “B”.

The transition to a fulfilling retirement

Photo courtesy of Jane Mobille

Movement occurs throughout our lives, yet, at times of transition, movement takes on added importance.

If point “A” is life with a particular job, point “B” is – for somebody about to retire – life without that particular job. Point “A” is known and familiar, while point “B” is unknown and untested. With the right perspective, point “B” represents that (even more) fulfilling life that you may imagine. Just as easily, however, point “B” can represent a black hole of worries and fears. In both cases, uncertainty is a reality.

Retirement impacts life in various ways. A newly-retired individual’s daily routine may be completely different. Physical and mental activity have likely changed. Identity and purpose may be in flux and in need of being redefined. Both spousal and social interaction patterns may need to be modified. Finances may be looked at in a new context. A geographical

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move may be on the horizon. And the list goes on.

I think that we can agree that the transition to a fulfilling retirement implies movement. And movement implies new goals. Some retirees have trouble defining goals. Not only must they ask the right questions, but they also must articulate honest answers. Furthermore, successfully reaching goals may require developing new skills, behaviors, and actions. It is quite easy to see how a newly-retired individual could feel overwhelmed by the transition. This is why working with a professional coach – to be accompanied while moving from point “A” to point “B” – can be valuable.

What is a coach?

A professional coach is trained to help individuals discover and own their truths, articulate what they want, increase their awareness of the impacts of their behaviors and actions, and make intentional choices which move them toward their goals. A coach accompanies individuals as they experiment and move forward. A coach is not a consultant and does not give advice; rather, they are trained to use the tools of coaching, like perspective, powerful questions, and global listening.

How does coaching happen?

Coaching sessions can be one-off, but typically occur on a regular basis over a finite period of time. Sessions take place over the telephone, on a video call, or in person. Requests for reflection and action keep the coaching in the individual’s life between sessions.

Coaching may begin with a questionnaire and “discovery” session. The length and periodicity of the ensuing sessions are designed to meet the individual’s specific needs.

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inform the nature of their coaching. Coaching can roughly be divided into life and executive – many coaches offer both. Other coaches may work in specific coaching areas such as career development, wellness, leadership, team, senior, performance, and endof-life, to name a few. Prices for coaching vary widely, from pro bono up to 400 euro an hour and higher.

The main organization certifying coaches worldwide is the International Coaching Federation (ICF). It offers three coaching credentials: ACC – Associate Certified Coach; PCC – Professional Certified Coach; and MCC – Master Certified Coach. ICF provides a free searchable directory of credentialed coaches at https://coachfederation.org/credentialed-coach-finder.

Why not now?

It is never too late to engage in a coaching relationship! Retirement is filled with opportunities for wonder and growth, just like any earlier stage of life. In fact, coaching can be particularly valuable for retirees because their skill mastery, wisdom, and maturity are at their peak. It may be the last period of life where individuals can try to reach their dreams, dedicate their time and energy to wellness, right past wrongs, or obtain closure.

Jane Mobille Jane Mobille is a life and executive coach who has been active in the Paris area for over ten years.

She completed her training at The Coaches Training Institute and Le Playground. Jane currently holds the PCC credential.

Choosing a coach Most coaches offer free “chemistry” or “sample” sessions. Professional coaches are trained to do all kinds of coaching, yet their previous experience will often

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R U O Y G N I Z I S S E N U Q W I T N DO A H C N FRE “For thirty years, I have lived in an inherited house replete with generations of family antique furniture and collectibles. I would like to downsize to an apartment in Paris, but what do I do with all this ‘stuff’? My children don’t want it.”

Signed “Drowning in the 19th century” in Rueil-Malmaison

The most efficient, and probably lucrative, way to downsize those French antiques is through auction.

There are, however, certain steps and factors to keep in mind.

Home Evaluation You need to do an honest (on your part) evaluation of just what you have in relation to the current market.

This can be a real shock to those counting on the resale value of antique pieces. For years, your motherin-law might have told you that Tante Odile’s 19th c. travailleuse (sewing table) must definitely be worth a fortune; alas, it is time to face reality. Even with the table’s age and beautiful inlaid ivory marquetry, the auction market for so called “brown furniture” has plummeted to its lowest point since the early part of the last century. The influence of Scandinavian flat pack furniture has imposed an aesthetic for white in all its variations, coupled with a throw-away “when it falls apart, put it on the curb” attitude. But don’t despair.

Think of this sewing table as a potential sculpture, not a piece of antique furniture.

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Separate your furniture and objects according to those of a “period”, and later copies of a “style”. Does the object have the uneven traces of antique hand tools or more regular machine-made incisions? Don’t dismiss an object, however, because of lack of age.

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Everyone has been talking about the flurry of Chinese buyer activity at French auctions. Not only are they interested in anything Chinese (a return of their culture), quality copies of iconic French furniture in good condition are much sought after by a new generation of Shanghai decorators.

French publications (both online and paper versions) like La Gazette de Drouot or Antiquités Brocante can be useful guides to realistic pricing. They are listing sale value determined by professionals; this is not the case with prices you find on eBay posted by wishful thinking owners.

Signatures At auction one sees a lot of antique dilapidated chairs with the underside stuffing detached. I used to think this was the work of rats or a corpulent owner, but it was probably the auctioneer himself who took his cardboard cutter to the inner workings… in search of a signature stamp. A manufacturer’s mark (whether antique such as “Jacob Frères” or more contemporary like “Roche-Bobois”), will enhance the value of quality furniture, by anywhere from 40% to 60%, depending on rarity and historical importance. Even in today’s dismal auction market for “brown furniture”, signed pieces from the famous (and even the not so famous) furniture makers still do well at auction, and if a piece is signed, it is probably worth the considerable investment in restauration. The same holds true for jewelry (and especially costume jewelry from the 50s and 60s) with a designer’s mark.

Provenance Does your object tell a story or have familial or historical consequence? If you have furniture or collectibles with an interesting past (even if the tale is dubious), take the time to write it down (and preferably attach it to the piece). Your heirs will thank you.

I saw a desk lamp allegedly used by Coco Chanel in

her room at the Ritz Hotel fetch a much higher price than the exact same specimen without a story. The auctioneer couldn’t swear by the facts, but just the allusion to the famous designer helped the sale price.

Estimation If you think you do have several pieces of value, contact an established auction house with photos. If your objects spark interest, they will send someone to do a household estimation. Otherwise, the Hôtel Drouot (the mega auction house in Paris) has an offshoot Drouot Estimations. You can cart your object there for an on-site evaluation, which is not valid for insurance purposes, but they will advise you on your best venue for a sale. If you only have several objects, and they are interested, they might offer to put your items in one of their group sales. Many other auction houses have similar evaluation days during the year. While the auction houses at Drouot mostly handle high-end successions or important collections, smaller auction houses like Chatou, Versailles, or Beauvais cater to mid-range objects. If you have several objects of real value, an auction house might agree to take on the entire “not so valuable” contents of your house. In this case, objects like kitchen utensils, photo albums, knick-knacks, etc. are crated together in lots. Sales of this type enable you to have a global return you can then split up amongst your heirs or use as lump sum for your own purposes. The auction house does take a percentage of your sale; the amount varies, but hovers around the 20% mark.

Go to an auction (real or online) to get a feel for current prices and market preferences. You might be surprised to see objects you would have ordinarily overlooked fetch decent prices (i.e. anything formica or bakelite in good condition; the 50s style might be boring old hat to you who lived with it, but it is a look much sought after by the millennials.)

Do not try to clean your objects. While the Englishspeaking antiques milieu likes to spiff up items for sale, the French market seems to cherish the dust.

Besides, you can do real damage if you polish, paint or sand without professional knowledge.

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Reconsider Your children might want to select a few family heirlooms after all; you might want to keep a few objects yourself. Aesthetic taste is cyclical. The current disposition towards science in lieu of history might change, and the ecological sense of recycled furniture, as well as a respect for the handmade, might come back into fashion. The market can only go up. Your 18th c. commode might be “brown”, but that stain shows the burls, crotches, and age of the mighty tree.

It might be worth it to do a bit of reflection or arm bending with your heirs before auctioning or ordering the dumpster. Besides, with white paint and elbow grease, you can make a 19th century cabinet look like it came from Ikea.

If you have antique oriental rugs, definitely do think twice. Second-hand Persian, Chinese, and Oriental rugs normally only bring 10% of their original value at auction. They tend to upgrade even an Ikea room without overpowering it. They were made for a lifetime and there is no comparison with contemporary versions.

Some international auction houses have started mixed auctions, pairing the antique with the contemporary to show prospective buyers how antiques can be part of a minimalist décor. Who knows? You might want to relook Tante Odile’s sewing table.

Position it on a podium against a white wall, add a spotlight focused on that marquetry and voilà… you have an interesting sculpture with family history.

Kristina Didouan Kristina Didouan is a consulting expert with AntiqueQuery on the French antiques, decorative arts and collectibles market. You can read her blog at www. antiquequery.com.

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Search for that signature on your antique chairs, but perhaps not with this much enthusiasm.

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What two or three things would you have liked to have learned earlier, rather than later, about financial/estate planning, insur-

I wish I had sung more, exercised more, and spent more time with people I loved.

Veronica

ance, self-care, medical issues, housing situations, or you name it, during this transition-to-retirement time? What tips or advice would you give to your younger self? Is retirement a good time to "rewire" and take a total change of direction?

What do I wish I'd known earlier?

I wish I'd known the pitfalls of American taxation of citizens who do not live in the US. I would have avoided some complicated savings decisions. I certainly wish that I'd known it would become even more complicated as years went by. In the '80s and '90s, assurance-vie was the ideal savings for retirement. Who would have thought it was toxic as far as US taxes were concerned? I wish I'd realized that my parents would get old and not be able to visit as they did until their mid-70s.

Having them need me, and my family, here, need me at the same time, was difficult. No regrets, though. I adapted well to living here. I'm glad I have no inclination to compare life here and life there.

Ellen

In my case, retirement has been a great time to continue doing what I have been doing all along throughout my not quite 70 years in France, and that is fighting for causes that concern me closely. Of course, prior to retirement, my time was tighter as I balanced this with my roles as a wife, mother, and translator. Today I continue doing volunteer work supporting: •

Equal rights for women (I am the Président d’Honneur of CLEF, Coordination Française pour le Lobby Européen des Femmes), • Justice for children who are victims of incest, • The right of Jews to return to their original country, and • France’s laïcité.

So when I retired, nothing changed, and I continue to know some fantastic women and even some grand men in the course of these combats.

Bernice

Looking back, which is in fact easy as I approach 50 years of living in France, I would have informed myself about inheritance laws in France.

They are so different from the States (I grew up in San Francisco), where you can leave everything to your dog if it pleases you.

I was shocked to learn that I’d be trapped into choosing between staying in my apartment, renting it out, or selling it (but this last choice ONLY with the consent of each and every child). So I would advise the Donation Universelle — I inherit from my husband and he inherits from me (simple if there are no step-children) or, at best, a donation au dernier vivant. As a precaution, in this case: be sure you are in an apartment or house you want to live in for the rest of your life, if your husband dies first.

Each case is different. But if you have step-children, you have to be extra careful in your estate planning. And if your marriage is firm, do the best you can with your notaire to have each spouse protected financially for his or her future. But of course, who thinks about these things when you are in your 20s and madly in love?

Nancy

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