Seven Days, December 20, 1995

MANN COPS OUT IN HEAT • HOLIDAY HOROSCOPES: SACRED AND PROFANE

BUILDING A BETTER MUSIC BOX • BLACK MAGIC: SOJO STIRS IT UP

ODD, STRANGE, CURIOUS AND WEIRD BUT TRUE NEWS ITEMS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE GLOBE Stupid Dees

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cotirt and dunk the ball, rewardfemales who rejected their ' .. ing them with ;i a scrap of food advances. Snyder said the findScientists have figured oat " each time they scored. ings don't necessarily prove that how to grow human like ears on violent criminal behavior is due mice. Linda Griffith-Gma, an lift " V\" ir^lP; ' . to abnormalities in nitric oxide, ; assistant professor of chemical Progress, Schmogre&s though he engineering at Massachusetts Several uitra-Oftfiodox rabbis Institute of Technology, created in Israel banned the use of a an ear-shaped scaffolding of "purity computer" to deterporous, biodegradable fabric. mine when people may Next, she and University have sex. The hand-held of Massachusetts anesdevice helps couples comthesiologist Dr. Charles ply with Jewish law, which Vacanti distributed x forbids sex from 12 hours jPjPlft human cartilage cells cjjjy' before menstruation starts to throughout the form, seven days after it ends. Instead then implanted the prototype of turning to rabbis for help ear on the back of a hairless with the calculation, the woman is impressed how often "mouse mouse, which nourished the ear need only enter information behavior can predict human until the cartilage cells grew to about her menstrual cycle to behavior." replace the fiber. As soon as the learn when sex is permissible. technology is perfected, ears can Rabbi YosefHalevi Eliashiv, an Net €ncu$h Rat be transplanted from mice to authority on Jewish law, warned Raced? humans who've lost theirs in accithat the 'purity computer" Food and Drug Administradents, the scientists said, noting it tion researchers complained in ht just be the start of techshould also work for noses. ogy s taking over rabbis' tradiArkansas, California-and tional authority.

Pennsylvania that lab rats have become too fat to be useful.

Mice or Men? Rats arriving at labs » Bali Hi Researchers at Baltimore's twice what they did 25 years Tonga's King Taufa'ahau Johns Hopkins University ago Topou IV saw his South Pacific announced they have succeeded kingdom expand by nearly 17 in turning docile mice into sexNext Up: The Rat NBA acres in June when a volcanic ually aggressive killers. Dr. Finnish researchers island erupted from the Metis Solomon Snyder reported that announced they have succeeded Shoal near the Vava'u Group of when he and his colleagues bred in teaching rats to play basketislands. The volcano rose to 165 mice that lacked a gene which ball. Psychologist Sini Paananen, feet high and covers some causes the production of a brain who developed the ball-playing 723,000 square feet. The king chemical called nitric oxide, rat project to help people under- visited the last island to emerge male mice turned into monsters stand the learning process, in Metis Shoal in 1979, but it that fought until they killed trained two of die rats to snatch disappeared rwo years after he their prey. They just as relentthe nut-filled ball from each planted the Tongan flag there. lessly forced themselves on other, scamper to the end of a

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Erwin Davis appealed his child-support order to the Arkansas Supreme Court, claiming his DNA matched the child's only because the mother broke into his home, stole a used condom from him and inseminated herself. Unimpressed, the court upheld the order.

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After boxer Oliver McCall lost his heavyweight title in September, he was robbed of his $1.4-million paycheck in St. Louis. The robbers were captured when they spotted McCall and, not recognizing him as their victim, ran up to him demanding to know why there were so many zeroes on the check.

• Authorities investigating the deaths of Marlin Ray Baker, 25, and his girlfriend Carolyn Boyd, 31, speculated that Baker had seen a certain phone number repeatedly on Boyd's Caller ID and assumed that a lover had called, so he beat her to death.

He subsequently killed himself after discovering that it was just a repeated wrong number.

• David Keeton died near Tustin, California, after his car plunged down an embankment.

Witnesses said Keeton had been swerving all over the road to keep the car behind him from passing.

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HANDLED W I T H CARE For the sake of accuracy, I

• unstable and therefore unfit to hold public office — assuming, of course, that the public

wanted to pass along a correc-

office actually requires mental fitness in the first

tion to your informative article

place. Lest we forget, however, Althea's a Side

on Jager DiPaola Kemp {Seven

Judge. W h a t the hell difference does it make

Days, November 29). T h e

whether she's crazy as a loon?

Magic Hat tap handles are not

The fact of the matter is that, right now, she's

designed and fabricated by

only costing the taxpayers about $25,000 a year

JDK, but by a very talented

in salary. Impeach her and she'll probably go on

designer-craftsman named

some sort of disability or, worse yet, be institu-

M i k e Ginsburg. M i k e has a

tionalized at twice the cost to the taxpayers.

business, Ginsburg Design, that

In fact, this state could save a fortune by

FROM BASRA TO BETHLEHEM A short story for the season By

Tom

P a i ne

page

S0J0 RISING Joey Sommerville label

and David Da Vinchi uncap a new black

is part of an independent asso-

taking all of those people being cared for at

ciation of designers called

state expense who are deemed disabled by virtue

Powerhouse 5. M i k e works

of mental defect or emotional instability, and

directly with Magic Hat to

swearing them in as Side Judges. T h e expense

come up with innovative and

per patient would probably be cut in half. And

BOXING BRAHMS

cost-effective ideas to help

it's not as if we were asking them to actually do

The Porter Music Company in Randolph revives an old —

Magic Hat promote their

any work.

and pricey — art form

products. Congratulations to

— Donald McNowski >

Jager DiPaola Kemp on their

7

By

By

Pamela

Amy

Polston

page

Rubin

11

.page

17

Burlington

fine work and well-deserved reputation.

— Bryan Bourgeois Burlington

Letters Policy: SEVEN DAYS want? your rants

departments

and raves, in 250 words or less.

news

Include your full name and a daytime

SIDE SWIPE

quirks

weekly

mail

phone number and send to:

exposure

and the rest of the "good government" crowd

SEVEN DAYS,

straight

have once again ignored the bottom line: the

P.O. Box I I 6 4 , Burlington, VT 05402-1164.

In crucifying Althea Kroger, Peter Freyne

cost to us taxpayers.

Obviously Althea Kroger is emotionally

inside

page

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s t a f f CO PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Paula Routly, Pamela Polston ART DIRECTOR Lars-Erik Fisk PRODUCTION MANAGER Kathy Erickson PRODUCTION ASSISTANT Samantha Hunt CIRCULATION MANAGER/CIASSIFEDS/PERSONAIS Maggie Starvish ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Clove Tsindle, Rick Woods, Barbara-Peabody CALENDAR WRITER Clove Tsindle

CONTRIBUTING

WRITERS Peter Freyne, Kevin Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Mark Madigan, P Finn McManamy, Ed Neuert, Amber Older, Jules Older, Ron Powers, Robert Resnik, Amy Rubin, Barry Snyder, Pascal Spengemann, Clove Tsindle CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Leslie Dowe, Sandy Milens, Andrew Musty, Laury Shea, Natalie Stultz, Matthew Thorsen, AJex Williams ILLUSTRATOR Sarah Ryan

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How on Earth can the Chinese and Japanese use computers, given that their writing uses thousands of different characters? The keyboard must look like something off a Wurlitzer pipe organ.

- Nora Krashoc, Knoxvilfe, Tennessee

Play It Again Sam Going

on

now..

Guitar

Nah, it looks pretty much like any keyboard, and using it is a piece of cake. All you have to do is follow these easy steps: 1. Figure out which of the 50,000-plus Chinese characters you want to use. It should not be necessary to point out that each character stands for a word or concept (usually) rather than a sound, as in English. However, I did have one guy recently who thought Chinese had 50,000 different sounds and wondered why we English speakers felt we had to scrape by with a few dozen. Also, lest 50,000 characters seem a little extreme, I should point out that you can get by with about 3000-4000.

2. Try to remember how to pronounce said character. This is fairly simple. Each Chinese character has one syllable, and in pinyin, the official pronunciation system used in mainland China, there are 403 possible spoken syllables.

Syllables can be pronounced with one of four tones (level, rising, falling and falling-and-rising), each tone giving the syllable a different meaning. The tones account for what many Westerners regard as the sing song quality of East Asian speech.

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3. Enter the syllable into the computer phonetically using roman letters ( O U R ) .

This takes up to six keystrokes plus, in some programs, one more keystroke for the tone. Typically this pops up a menu of possible characters, six characters or so at a time.

4. Page through the characters looking for the one you want. With 50,000 possible written syllables but only a few hundred possible spoken ones, each spoken syllable can have as many as 131 different meanings (average: 17), each with its own character. You could be paging quite a while, and you still might not find the character you want - no program includes all 50,000. Answer to obvious question: In speech you figure out the meaning from the context.

Never let your at tention wander during a Chinese conversation.

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5. Hope like hell you speak Mandarin, the most important of the seven or eight major Chinese dialects. Although written Chinese is pretty much the same throughout China, spoken Chinese can vary dramatically, and some dialects are mutually unintelligible. The pinyin pronunciation system and pinyin-based word processors are geared toward Mandarin. If ail you speak is Cantonese, you'll have to use an alternative input method, which can involve stroke analysis, numerical codes or other matters, about which polite people would just as soon not speak.

6. Having found the character you want, tap one more key to enter it into your document. Net result of steps 1 through 6: one syllable. That's all you need for some simple words, but many modern terms are multisyllabic compounds. For example, one Chinese news service renders "World Wide Web" as "TenThousand-Di mensional Web in Heaven and Net on Earth." Mercifully, this condenses a bit in Chinese. Nonetheless, if I were typing a letter to mom in Beijing, I think I'd allow most of the day. Some programs do let you use abbreviations and other short-cuts to speed up the process.

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This is just Chinese we're talking about. Japanese, now. Jhey say Japanese 3d to say, we do not have space to discuss it here. Just .

iWidcllebury

or slop

So, if you're Chinese, do you bate, computers? On the contrary, you think they're great, because the alternative is to write out your damn language longhand. This is even more of a pain, since one Chinese character can have as many as 36 strokes, (Max per English character: 4.) You could try a Chinese typewriter, but they're clunky and expensive. A computer with decent Chinese word-processing software, by contrast, lets you achieve a reasonable approxi-

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page 4

SEVEN DAYS

december

2 0,1995

17, Colchester

Cop Case

Contrary to last week's Free Press report, •the proposal to establish a police commission in Colchester ain't dead yet. T h e selectmen will hold a public hearing on the plan in January, but the author of the commission proposal, Selectman Brian McNeil, tells Inside Track he may still get the matter before voters in March by petition.

It's clear the law enforcement c o m m u n i t y doesn't dig the idea of having a new layer of civilian, oversight. Chief Douglas Kirker tells Inside Track the study group that drafted the proposal (of which he was a member), never answered the basic question: does Colchester need it? Kirker says that, according to crime statistics and per capita cost, "Basically we're doing a pretty good job."

But McNeil says Kirker told the study group B&Es were up considerably this year.

Plus, he says, establishing a police commission was a key part of his platform, and he got an earful about it as he campaigned door to door.

"He keeps saying that," says Kirker, "but he can't produce anybody that's backing him up."

Indeed, the turnout at two key public meetings was heavily laced with police officers from Colchester and surrounding communities.

Burlington Sergeant M i k e Rogers, a Colchester resident, says McNeil told him people were "afraid" to come to the meetings because of the police presence. "That's absurd," says Rogers.

yours truly can recall seeing Mr. Victory at establishment but once in this lifetime.)

McNeil's barb comes on the heels of several references to Mr. Victory made to yours truly by Mr. Clavelle. Seems the powers-thatbe want to shut the guy up. But the fact is, he's not a novice at this property tax stuff. Ray knows of which he speaks - he was the city's deputy assessor for six years under Mayors Bernie Sanders and Clavelle.

McNeil was reached in the Big Apple Monday, where he was working on a refinancing deal for the Burlington Electric Department.

"The background is this," said Big Joe. "We had had the meeting. Ray was upset with the meeting. He did not feel his message was being heard." Afterwards Joe got into a conversation with Ray and the two other members of the Board of Assessors. "The conversation got a little heated," said McNeil. Then, he says, "Victory said something like, 'I'm wasting my time,' and I said something like 'What's a bigger waste of time — talking about this at Esox or at the committee?' The fact is, I regret having the conversation in that tone.

Unfortunately, I personalized it a bit. In any event, it does none of us any good."

John Patch, who also serves on the Board of Assssors, says the Victory version of events is right-on. "I was dumbfounded Joe would come out with something like this," says Patch. "It was upsetting to me. W h e n they both calm down, one of them should be apologizing to the other."

T h e bottom line is, there's McNeil says a police a lot more to Clavelle's procomission is the way • H posed charter change than Colchester should move I I ^^ I most people realize. because there's a lack of • • • Lingerie Takes Off — After visibility of the 23-person I I M I 25 years at its present Church police force in the neighI J ^ B Street location, the Everyday borhoods, a lack of women Bookshop, which is open and minorities on the force every day just like the name and a lack of civilian oversays, will be closing its doors seers. "I think there's a on Boxing Day (December large silent majority out 26). The good news is that there that will vote for this Elizabeth Orr's gem of a shop will be reopenthing," says McNeil. Since it'll only take 112 ing February 1 just around the corner on signatures to get the matter before voters in College Street — in the space occupied for March, we may see soon just how much of a the past 13 years by Sidney's Fine Lingerie. silent majority there is in Colchester.

Sidney, in turn, will be moving the frillies Censored? — Some Burlington city officials (and the swimwear, jeans, casual wear and are getting a little testy over the proposed charter change that would neuter the Board of bras), into the Everyday Bookshop space on the Marketplace — with bigger picture winAssessors and leave it up to the city assessor dows and all. In the interim, Mrs. Orr will alone to set the grand list and totally control continue to operate for the newsstand trade the first level of property-tax appeals. T h e from the front of Heritage Copy Center problem is, the city assessor is appointed by across from the Freeps. See you there. the mayor and serves at the mayor's pleasure.

Pet Peeve — It's Monday, December 18. In If you were city assessor and the mayor told the mail comes the monthly bill from you to remove a parcel of the grand list and Adelphia Cable, the local monopoly. " O U R you said, "Sorry, boss, I won't do it," just how R E C O R D S S H O W T H A T W E HAVE N O T long do you think you'd have a job?

RECEIVED PAYMENT F O R LAST Some people, including members of the M O N T H ' S CABLE SERVICE ("PREVIOUS current Board of Assessors, have the colossal BALANCE"). PLEASE MAIL Y O U R PAYgall to see the manuver for what it is — a M E N T TODAY T O AVOID A LATE power play by the mayor. After all, the charter CHARGE." change was introduced after the Board of T h e problem is that the "last month's serAssessors refused to play ball with Mr. vice" Adelphia Cable refers to is from Clavelle and remove five acres of Fletcher Allen parking lot from the tax rolls. According November 20 to December 19. Last month's service isn't over until tomorrow, and to Board of Assessors member R a y Victory, as Adelphia is telling me I'm late paying for it. last week's charter-change committee was H u m b u g . T h e electric company, the gas combreaking up, C i t y Attorney For Life Joseph pany and the phone company all bill for serMcNeil made the crack, "You better watch vice that the customer has received. Only what you say when you're kibbitzing with Adelphia demands the bread up front.

Freyne down at Esox." (Esox being a local watering hole frequented by citizens from all And a Merry Christmas to you, too, Mr. walks of life and political affiliations, though Scrooge. •

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says Vermont clothing designer G a y Ellis, w h o spent last month working as an international craft consultant along the old silk route in Central Asia. Here in Vermont Ellis sews those brightly colored Lapp-inspired wool jackets, hats and belted pullovers that glow in a blizzard. In Uzbekistan, she was training artisans whose products date back to camel caravan days in capitalist concepts of marketing, product and export development. "They had a hard time understanding y o u could make w h a t y o u wanted and then find the customer," she says. T h e idea of organizing a guild, however, went over better than expected in a former Soviet republic that boasts age-old techniques in alabaster and wood carving, coral, silver and turquoise jewelry, tiles, calligraphy and ceramics. "Already some of the finer art museums in the country are sending very expensive tours there," Ellis says.

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thieves apparently don't. Some kleptoconnoisseur made off unnoticed with two paintings at a studio sale hosted last month

by Janet Fredericks and Georgia M y e r s —- both belonged to Myers. T h e following week Fredericks lost one from the lobby of Merrill Lynch — a small painting of a boat in a gold-leaf frame that was insured for $ 6 0 0 . "It was probably somebody who liked the piece and thought they could have it without paying for it," Fredericks says. Fine line between robbery and investment. . . Speaking of stealing from the poor, what kind of low-life grinch would rip off the Peace and Justice Store? O n e that made off with $ 5 0 0 before manager Kathy Bouton realized three of the five deposits in her backpack were missing. "I would have j u m p e d off a bridge if they had gotten all five," Bouton says, noting the store is taking up a collection to replace the Christmas cash. Call 8 6 3 - 8 3 2 6 to improve your karma.

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SEVEN

DAYS

the one Laura Cole is leaving. In three weeks, Cole is giving up steady employment as development director of Burlington C i t y Arts for a seasonal job marketing the Discover Jazz Festival. "It gives me a chance to get back into the part of arts adminstration that I love —- events management and administration," she says.

"And i t s one project, not a gijillion." Good timing, too.

Burlington City Arts could lose as much as $ 6 0 , 0 0 0 from the National Endowment next year . . . Good Citizen has lost its "brainy" half. After a year chasing down stories, ads and photographs for the quarterly music magazine, Patricia Braine has left Vermont for Florida. A n d r e w S m i t h is in the process of dissolving his former partnership and incorporating a whole new business with Nicole H e g e m a n and former Envy bass player M e l a n i e Nunnick. As usual, his future plans are big: national distribution, band management and "Good Citizen monorails all over Burlington," he says.

I N B R I E F : T h e Vermont Council on the Arts got an earful from artists in Burlington two weeks ago. Director Nicolette Clarke will report on similar meetings from all over the state Wednesday night — January 2 0 — on the call-in show "Switchboard" on Vermont Public Radio. Gingrich bashers telephone toll-free . . . P a t Leahy was well prepped for his Lane Series reading of "A Child's Christmas in Wales." Question is, how will H o w a r d D e a n handle " T h e Steve Goldberg Night Before Christmas?" "I thought about asking him to read a W i l l i a m Burroughs short story or something," says "Talk of Vermont" host Jeff Kaufman.

"Another show, I guess." Tune in Friday at 11 a.m. on W F A D . . . Steve Goldberg learned a lot about theater this fall producing his own play i n New York. "I was just throwing a line into the sea," he says of the experience. "You can only d o so m u c h here."

So m u c h indeed. T h e prolific playwright has another one, complete with hallucinogenic tide. Curb Divers of Redemption opens in J a n u a r y with a star-studded cast: Paul Schnabel, Tracey Girdich, J o r d a n Gullikson and our favorite on-air actor, W K D R deejay Louis M a n n o . Describing his new play as "dangerous," Goldberg predicts, "I think I a m about to make some pretty big breakthroughs." • »

december

2 0,1995

t was up there on the Kuwaiti-Saudi border back on Christmas eve, 1990. Right on the goddamn border. Saudis had a big sand berm 20 feet high that ran the whole border, and every thousand feet or so in the sand berm was a big concrete fortress we called the Alamo. Saudi border guards were in the Alamo in normal times to keep out the infidels. No sign of those Saudis fuckers now. Just a dozen Third Force reconnaissance marines, spitting chew on the sand rats' oriental rugs in the downstairs tea room of the Alamo, maybe thinking about you all back home holding hands around the Christmas tree singing hallelujah. _ I was a clean-cut B u t h e t"OXXlBO. Burlington boy who joined the Marines to get money for college. I

I

no one understood making a switch like that before a big action like Desert Storm.

B u l l will never forget that Cheshire cat smile that Captain Tolby laid on Sergeant Packer all through his angelic singing of "Silent Night" in the tea room of the Alamo on Christmas Eve 1990. I wish 1 could hear his voice now in this shit-ass North End apartment, but I can't. Just the sound of the jerk downstairs banging his kid's head against the wall. I've got a tape of Bing Crosby doing Christmas songs, but nothing can beat the voice of Sergeant Packer, sounds I can't hear anymore but remember as beyond beautiful. I understand now. I met the man.

You might be wondering if Sergeant Packer said anything to me as we sat there eating his candy bar on the Kuwaiti-Saudi border.

He didn't say much, but I remember he got all philosophical when

to me with a

mouth f u l l of chocolate

a f t e r singing "Silent Night"

could run faster with a pack on my back than anyone else at boot camp that month, so they sent me off for recon training to be the best of the best and all I could be as the son of a tax-killed dairy farmer, whose land is now suburban homes you could park a B-52 in, and for which he got shit. Recon is an elite group of soldiers. We are the guys who get sent behind enemy lines to take a look-see around before the real action starts up. We have a 90 percent casualty rate during wartime, of which we are supposed to be proud.

My platoon was up there at the Kuwaiti-Saudi border on Christmas Eve, 1990. We called it being at the head of the spear, as there was nothing between us and the baddies. This was just before Desert Storm, the 100-hour war, during what was called Desert Shield.

Most people have forgotten the difference, just like they forget the details of the 1990 Super Bowl. We got better ratings, but still, nobody gives a shit, except it was a good show. Not like that Nam thing. Bad show.

Bad feelings there. We were going to redeem ourselves on this one. Feel good again. Expose our superpower dick to the world.

and said,

is i t s t i l l a war

if nobody dies on one side?"

and the Captain had stopped staring at him and smiling that I know what you're up to smile. Sergeant Packer was an ugly guy, nose all pocked and square like the handle of a .45. He was so ugly, when he first showed up in our recon platoon, which is a story in itself, we started calling something ugly packer. Yeah, he was that ugly. But he turned to me with a mouth full of chocolate after singing

"Silent Night" and said, "Is it still a war if nobody dies

on one side?"

I said, "What?" or "Huh?" I don't remember which, although I wish I remembered exactly, so I could get it

So that was where it started. Sergeant Packer, he didn t shut up. He just sang on and on and Captain Tolby, he watched him with the RPV monitor on his lap, and I thought he was going to stand up and ask him one more time, but instead he just smiled like a cat playing with a mouse. He laid this smile on Sergeant Packer, and you might have thought he had a change of heart, being that it was Christmas Eve, but

the smile was more like yea, asshole, you sing now, sing now while you can still sing.

You say Captain Tolby couldn't know what was coming down, but I guess it depends what you believe is possible, what the whole thing was really about.

Captain Tolby, no one knew much about him. He had just been assigned to us a day before Saddam went into Kuwait, and there was no explanation from Marine Expeditionary Force Headquarters why they replaced Captain Ord with him. Not like it was their place to explain shit to us, but Captain Ord was like family, and 20 , 1 995

here's more you need to know about Sergeant Packer. The man wasn't one of us. This is some weird shit. We jumped on the C-131 in San Francisco to come to the Saudi, and there was this one sergeant in face paint. Everyone assumed someone else knew why he was jumping a ride to the Saudi with us, and Captain Tolby, he was looking at weapon manuals the whole way and laughing. No one noticed when he answered to the name of Sergeant Packer, but the thing

T

is, he wasn't our Sergeant Packer. We figured it out in mid-flight, and he told Captain Tolby he was in fact Sergeant Packer, and then showed this stamped official T.A.D. order. That's temporary additional duty order. So there was some kind of computer screw-up, and we got this old Sergeant Packer, and our Sergeant Packer was who the hell knows where. You would think Captain Tolby would set it right when we landed, but when he found out he looked confused for only a moment, and then he had this look like he understood everything, like had been waiting for this Sergeant Packer all his life, and he started laughing like a crazy fuck. He never reported the Sergeant Packer-Sergeant Packer screw-up.

We kept the guy, even though he was from transportation — a rear job filled with dumbshits driving buses, so he wasn't exactly prepared for our sort of work.

So this brings us to the rest of the story. After Captain Tolby finished scaring the shit out of the Iraqis on the ground a couple of klicks north of us with his mechanical bird, he stood up and said, "Let's fucking celebrate Christmas." We all followed him up on the roof of the Alamo. It was pretty dark by then. We had a bunch of super-snooper night-vision scopes up there all in a row, and could look right over and see Iraqis beyond the mines and concertina wire of the barrier plain. W h e n you looked through the scopes and looked at the minefield, the first thing you noticed were all the camel parts strewn all over. The Bedouins left them and the mines blew them up. So we were up on the roof, and Captain Tolby went chuckling over to the fun little Christmas toy known as the MULE. It stands for Multi-Utility-Laser-Engager. It's a plastic box with a laser beam inside.

One other thing I didn't tell you is that during the same day a team of four, including Sergeant Packer, had returned from an infiltration of Kuwait. They snuck across the mined barrier plain at night, and spent 48 hours a couple of miles in the Saddam-occupied badlands scoping things out. They came back with the coordinates for a lot of Iraqi installations and bunkers. I never thought we'd use the coordinates on Christmas Eve, but Captain Tolby had Corporal Fitch get on the communicator and order up an A-10 jet.

Captain Tolby read in the coordinates of the Iraqi bunker for the pilot, and pointed the M U L E laser beam from the top of our Alamo, got it all set to go, and then turned to Sergeant Packer.

Sergeant John Packer is one who doesn't remember what I remember — and what I don't want to remember as I sit here trying to hold a pen in my hand. He's more than dead, he's ashes and scorched bits of bone.

Boom. Overkill for one single guy, but I guess they wanted to make sure. Merry Christmas, Sergeant Packer. Sorry about it, pal. Sergeant Packer got kaboomed by friendly fire from a Cobra helicopter.

Whoops. Friendly fire. Sorry.

We were sitting around the old Saudi tea room that night, Christmas Eve, and most of the guys were cleaning their M-I6s. Sergeant Packer was sitting next to me in one of the windows of the Alamo, the windows all blown out and stuffed with sandbags. He turned to me and gave me a bite of a chocolate bar. Somebody told me, I think it was Corporal Harvey, he didn't have any family. Packer hadn't ever talked to me, but he shared that candy bar, and then he started to sing "Silent Night." Every soldier looked up at him in that tea room. He had a beautiful voice. His regular voice was like he got a tonsillectomy with a buzz saw, but when he sang, it was this almost female thing, all high and sweet. Our captain, Captain Tolby, he looked up from where he was watching the RPV monitor, and said-, "Shut the fuck up, Packer."

decembe r

He was done singing

down right. He asked the same question again, not getting pissed at all, and I expect I shook my head, as in those days thinking about things made me feel like a faggot.

Packer said, "I mean if thousands die on one side, and nobody at all dies on the other, is that still a war?"

Maybe we should have a new word {ox it? " He was ugly, so I shook my head and ignored him.

Remember, this is before Desert Storm, and we still thought maybe tens of thousands of us were going to die. I think he kept looking at me, so I said like I was pissed, "Nobody is fucking dead yet."

Sergeant Packer smiled, and he said almost in a whisper, "The dead are as good as dead." And then he flicked his chin at Captain Tolby as Tolby stared at the RPV. The RPV is this Remotely Piloted Vehicle — a mechanical bird with a camera in its guts. Captain Tolby was looking through the bird's eye at the Iraqi positions just over the line in Kuwait, behind the mined barrier plain. As I looked at the monitor I saw the mechanical bird was flying low over an Iraqi digging frantically into a sand dune, his tail up in the air.

Captain Tolby mimed the Iraqi's frantic burrowing, laughed and laughed. Tolby was always laughing, always chilled out like he owned the world.

The A-10 jet with its missiles was inbound toward the target, but somebody had to push the little red button, turn on the laser. The laser beam would guide the

Continued

SEVEN

DAYS

on page

10 p-a-ge

KALIN'S ITALIAN GARDENS ^

WEDNESDAY

HOLIDAY PARTY, Club Metronome, 8 p.m., $5. DYSFUNKSHUN, SOUP SANDWICH, MACHINERY HALL (funk, alt rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $3/5. HEARTATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $3 under 21. WHAT IT IS (rock), Nectars, 9 p.m. No cover. THE ADAMS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE ACOUSTIC JAM, Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. BLUE FOX (blues), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. No cover. TODD FITCH (acoustic), Thrush Tavern, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover. LOST POSSE (bluegrass), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m., $2.

O

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is now smoke free.

Live music T h u r s d a y s .

BEST BURGERS IN TOWN 107 Stale Street. Montpelier 223-2030

THURSDAY

DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Halvorson's, 9 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE, Cactus Cafe, 8 p.m. No cover. OUTER MONGOLIA (avant acoustic), Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover. STRUNG OUT, CURRENTLY NAMELESS (groove rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m., $3. BARBACOA, GOLDFISH, STUPID CLUB (surf, alt rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $3/5. HELL TOUPEE (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m. No cover. THE ADAMS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. RAY LEWIS (blues), Vermont Pub & Brewery, 9:30 p.m. No cover. TABLE WINE, KATHERINE QUINN (alt-folk), Last Elm, 7 p.m.

Donations. JAMES HARVEY TRIO (jazz), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2.

SOLSTICE SHOW WITH MATT WITTEN & LINDA GIONTI (acoustic), Local Legends Coffeehouse, Daily Bread, Richmond, 7:30 p.m., $3.50. RUSS

(bluegrass), Mad Mountain

ON DASHER!

Former homeboys now from Brooklyn, The Cuts return to make spirits bright. At Metronome this Friday

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CLYDE STATS TRIO (jazz), Windjammer, 4 p.m. No cover. THE CUTS (rock), Club Metronome, 9 p.m., $3. POCO LOCO FRITO (Latin), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $3/5. DESIRED EFFECT (jazz), Samsara, 9 p.m. No cover. ANNI (tonal landscapes/instrumental wordplay), Java Love, 9 p.m. No cover.THE MIX (rock), Nectar's, 9:30 p.m. No cover. CRAIG MITCHELL (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $3/$5 under 21. HEXDUMP (Solstice sound installation), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations. THE ADAMS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. TRIAL BY FIRE (rockfunk), Wolf's Lair, Colchester, 9 p.m., $2. PETRIFIED BLUES BAND (blues), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover. STRUNG OUT (groove rock), Mad Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m., $3.

SATURDAY LIVE IRISH MUSIC, Speeder & Earl's (Pine St.), 2 p.m. No cover. '80S DANCE PARTY WITH DJ CRAIG MITCHELL, Club Metronome, 9 p.m., $3. CRANIAL PERCH, STEVE, KARMA KINGS (alt-rock), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $3/5- DOUGLAS BISHOP (pan flutist), Last Elm Cafe, 9 p.m. Donations.

THE MIX (rock), Nectars, 9:30 p.m. No cover. DAN SHAW (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $3/$5 under 21. NERBAK BROS, (blues), Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. No cover. THE ADAMS (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. TRIAL BY FIRE (funk-rock), Wolf's Lair, Colchester, 9 p.m., $2. BL00Z0T0MY (blues), Charlie-o's, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover.

MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), M a d Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m., $3.

©

SUNDAY

PATTI CASEY, BOB GAGNON & MATT MCGIBNEY (acoustic), Burlington Coffeehouse, C i t y Market, 11 a.m. No cover. RUSS & CO. (jazz), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover.

®

MONDAY

OPEN MIKE (acoustic), Java Blues, 7 p.m. Donations. MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m.

No cover.

© ^

TUESDAY

OPEN POETRY READING (acoustic), Last Elm Cafe, 8 p.m. Donations. BRISSON & ABAIR (acoustic rock), Alley Cats, 9 p.m. No cover. FLASHBACK: HITS OF THE '80S (DJ), Club Toast, 9 p.m. No cover/$3 under 21. GROOVE LINE (live acid jazz), Club Metronome, 9 p.m.

No cover. MARTIN GUIGUI (rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. PARIMA J A Z Z BAND, P a r i m a T h a i Restaurant, 8 p.m. No cover. BLUE FOX, ROCKIN'DADDIES (blues, rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover.

^

FACTORY STORE

WEDNESDAY

MICRO WAVE RAVE (DJ), Club Toast, 9:30 p.m., $10. COMEDY NIGHT, C l u b Metronome, 8 p.m. No cover.

STRUNG OUT (groove rock), Nectar's, 9 p.m. No cover. HEARTATTACK WITH ROBERTO RENNA (DJ), 135 Pearl, 9 p.m., $ 3 under 21. CHIN HO!, MADELINES, THE FAGS, THE DIAPERS (alt-rock, punk), 2 4 2 Main, 7 p.m., $4. OPEN MIKE, Burlington Coffeehouse, City Market, 8 p.m. No cover. OPEN MIKE ACOUSTIC JAM, Java Love, 8 p.m. No cover. JOHN LACKARD BLUES BAND, Alley Cats, 9:30 p.m. No cover. WHISKERS & LACE (rock), Patches, Holiday Inn, 9 p.m. No cover. WILD BRANCH (bluegrass), Sneakers, Winooski, 9 p.m. $2. TIM CAIRA (acoustic), Thrush Tavern, Montpelier, 9 p.m. No cover. WHAT IT IS (r&b with Christine Adler), M a d Mountain Tavern, Waitsfield, 9:30 p.m., $3.

All clubs

8 0 Industrial Parkway, Burlington V T Call 6 6 0 - 3 2 0 0 for info

in Burlington

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otherwise

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O p e n B-B E v e r y O a y ( e v e n S u n d a y s )

SEVEN DAYS

december

2 0 , 1 99 5

,By:

Pamela

Pol&ton

V c r r n o o + s O i u n Candle Cc><y\ pcx>n vy !

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STARLIGHT CONSPIRACY, STARLIGHT CONSPIRACY (Club Fub, cassette) — It sounds like Mercury in retrograde. Or Saturn in a big snit. Or some Milky Way espionage Star Trek adventure kinda thing. But no, it's just this eponymous EP from a new band in Burlington's expanding musical universe. And a supergroup of sorts it is: Brad Searles, drummer of a thousand (well, several) previous units; dynamo guitarist Denny Donovan late of Slush, 12 X Over et al.; vocalist Jan Tofferi from hover; and bassman/vocalist Shawn Flanigan from Sleepcrash (the unfortunate result of sleepwalking?). In other words, it's a power trio plus one, and the only bummer about Starlight Conspiracy the recording is that this trio overpowers Tofferi's angel-girl singing. Except in "Anchored," in which her vocals serve as effective counterpoint — a la Veruca Salt, for instance — to an indie-noiserock barrage. SC the band has mega-horsepower, thanks to Donovan's hardcore credentials. A big fat drum sound — achieved by producer Joe Egan at Eclipse — doesn't hurt, either. But theirs is a male conspiracy; Starlight would do well to let the woman shine, too. Check 'em out live at Toast December 30.

SOUP SANDWICH, SOUP

SANDWICH

(FOE Records, 7-inch single) — And speaking of testosterone: Is soup sandwich a sexual reference I'm too genteel/unhip to know about?

This five-song slab of vinyl makes me suspicious. The intro, a mid-tempo retrorocker called "Dear Sally" is a malefantasy ditty about a horny voyeur that shows some things never change. "Living Like a Rabbit" has the speed and feel of an early Ramones song, but is all tude and no irony — a middle-class-whiteguy-snot-nose anti-authoritarian rant. This trio — John Ravell on guitar, Stefan Sanchez on bass and Drew Rubenstein on drums — owes big-time to Vibrators-era punk and '80s garage-band re-makes. Energetic, unpretentious, sloppy and full of what my grandmother would call piss and vinegar. At Toast this Wednesday.

Want t o g e t r e v i e w e d i n SEVEN i n f o and photo t o Sound A d v i c e ,

%o

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Productions

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DAYS1 Send y o u r CD or tape (no demos, p l e a s e ) , SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, B u r l i n g t o n , VT 05402.

Make music a part of your holidays with Jcssica Harper's Not A Traditional Christmas, a collection of holiday songs set and sung in a decidedly non- traditional fashion.

Jessica's silky, assured voice combined with reggae, jazz, pop, and world beat arrangements give new spark to old favorites, like: Children Go Where I Send Thee, The Little Drummer Boy, Go Tell It On the Mountain and eleven more!

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FROM BASRA

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SEVEN DAYS

from

page

7

bombs from the jet to the target. Captain Tolby turned to Sergeant Packer, laughing, and asked him to do the honors.

Told him it was like a video game. Sergeant Packer refused a direct order once, and refused again the next time the A-10 came around. Captain Tolby laughed like he expected this the whole time. He kept laughing and laughing. I can still hear him laughing.

It was then Corporal Branch saw the woman out there in the barrier plain through one of the night-vision scopes. We all went to a scope to look. She was coming through the fucking mine field. There had been a lot of Iraqi soldiers coming over to surrender before this, so it wasn't a big surprise in general, but this was a female. She was picking her way through the mine field step by step. Captain Tolby just grinned at her, like she was part of the great sweep of events. I turned around and Sergeant Packer was gone from the roof of the Alamo, and then we saw him making his way toward the woman through the minefield. And then the bad shit happened.

A Cobra helicopter came whacking in from the Persian Gulf, and Captain Tolby pointed to it and nodded like now watch this shit. The thing about the Cobra helicopter, it reads human heat on its thermal sights and destroys. The only way to avoid it is to lie down on the ground

A note she carried said we killed thousands of her people with our bombing, our softening the bastards up for Desert Storm.

We couldn't get the remains of her baby out of her arms that Christmas Eve, couldn't get a transport, so she stayed with us in the tea room all night jabbering and crying at us.

Captain Tolby never reported Sergeant Packer's getting greased. Said it never happened.

Maybe this never happened either: Our third night in-country after the mobilization in the States but before we went up to the border, we were at Khafji, the first town just south of the Kuwaiti border in Saudi Arabia.

There was a biological warning while we were eating chow We pulled on our gas masks, and some of us, including myself, freaked and plunged the amalchloride antidote syringe into our thighs, thinking this was the end. It was then that Corporal Branch, in his gas mask, beckoned us outside.

Coming down the street was this soldier on a camel like a fucking Bedouin. This soldier without a gas mask on a camel walked right past us and out into the desert. We all looked at each other, and one by one we

There had been a lot of Iraqi soldiers coming over to surrender before this, so i t wasn't a big surprise in general, but this was a female. She was picking her way through the mine field step by step. Captain Tolby just grinned at her, like she was part of the great sweep of events.

and pretzel into a non-human shape, so maybe you get read on the thermal scope as a plant or something non-human. So through the scopes we saw Sergeant Packer yelling to the woman and waving his arms like he was telling her to lie down, but of course she was freaked and just stood there.

So Packer started waving his arms at the incoming helo, which is sniffing towards the woman. Sergeant Packer takes out his .45 and starts waving that at the helo, then he starts firing, and the big whacking insect forgot the woman, who started running across the barrier plain. The helo greased Sergeant Packer with a T O W missile. Which as I said earlier was overkill. The woman came to the gate of the Alamo, and then we saw she's got her arms around this baby in a little blanket. She's jabbering in Arabic. It isn't a dead baby, but just the head and shoulders of her dead baby. She walked from Basra in Iraq to show it to us.

took off our masks as the siren wailed on.

That soldier was Sergeant Packer, and now he's fucking gone. He came and now he's gone, and he couldn't do shit for nobody.

I got home and watched all the ticker-tape parades and instant replays of the great victory on the tube. My hands curl up with arthritis and they tell me it's my imagination. I had a kid with this great woman, and the kid was born with veins on the outside of his face, and they say it's unrelated to Desert Storm.

The man came and now he's gone. Merry Christmas to all. •

Tom Paine is a Charlotte-based freelance writer whose works have appeared in The New Yorker, S t o r y and

T h e Boston Review.

He recently won an O. Henry Award for short fiction and a grant from the Mellon Foundation.

december

2 0,1995

SOJO RISING Joey Sommerville

UNIQUE HOLIDAY GIFTS

By Pamela

Our shop is

Polston

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and David DaVinchi uncap a new black label

J

playing, producing and simultaoey Sommerville calls it neously juggling six acts — progressive music from an DaVinchi, Belizbeha, T h e Gurban perspective. Adds Spot Society, X Factor, Uroba David DaVinchi, progressive and Montreal bassist Rhonda black music. Hip-hop, acid jazz, Smith. And there's a mysterious black pop, r&b, soul. By whatseventh on the way; DaVinchi ever name, it's soon to be a will only describe him as a hot Vermont product. Sojo Music young saxophonist from New has arrived.

From Detroit and New York York. Each of the acts will get heavy Sojo treatment.

City respectively, Sommerville The goal, explains and DaVinchi have teamed up Sommerville, is "to take stuff to to create Vermont's first "boua high enough level to attract tique label directed at a black labels to release in the mainaudience," as they call it — stream." He and DaVinchi though the music they're prohelp develop the sound ducing has a strong cross-over of their artists — some appeal. Just witness the wall-toare "live" bands; some wall, mostly white dancers rely more on studio when its "flagship" acid jazz band, Belizbeha, plays anywhere technology. They'll work with As One Management, nearby. The difference between which has one foot in New Sojo and any other local labels York and one in Burlington, to is that Sommerville and DaVinchi play the role of musi- do the rest. From their own careers, both Sommerville and cians, producers, marketers and DaVinchi claim extensive convirtual agents. Says. Belizbeha tacts in the music industry. And keyboardist Jeremy Skaller, "Sojo is creating its own kind of the name Sojo? It doesn't mean anything in particular, thing, a label and a production Sommerville concedes, "I just house. There's a strong level of creativity — two high-level pro- like the sound of it. Like, so, ducers, creating something...

J» They're not just putting togethoe... er a compilation." , f Sommerville came to Working at jazz guitarist Joe Vermont 12 years ago and has Capps' Poker Hill Studio in earned a reputation as one of Underhill, Sommerville and the finest jazz musicians in the DaVinchi are putting in 60 to area. Those introduced to jazz 70 hours a week these days, via the hip-hop variety know him as the brass end of

Belizbeha. Sommerville's primary instrument is the trumpet, but he's not too shabby on keyboards, either. And he also knows his way around a soundboard — he produced his own urban-cool C D , Shine, last year in Los Angeles, and Belizbeha's

first, Charlie's Dream. He and DaVinchi are now working on that band's as-yet-unnamed second recording, scheduled for a March release.

DaVinchi is a much more recent transplant, arriving in Burlington just two summers ago to chill out from a high-profile, self-abusive stint as a major-label producer in Manhattan — and to recover from the deaths of both his parents last year. His studio wizardry — he's had three top-40 black-pop hits in the '90s — and allimportant contacts in the music biz suggest that his phone calls will be returned. "Because of my previous experience," he says confidently, "I feel like we're set up for success."

DaVinchi also contributes considerable talent as a lyricist with a political conscience, in the vein of Gil Scott-Heron and the Last Poets. Unlike the laidback Sommerville, DaVinchi simmers with concern and outrage about the plight of his fellow black men in America. His song, "Young Brother" addresses urban crime, drugs and violence — "the cultural psychosis that affects black youth," he says. "This record is about healing the breakdown of the black community."

DaVinchi's eponymous band has already become a staple of the Burlington scene — an environment from which both he and Sommerville believe they can launch a blackoriented musical enterprise.

"Vermont enables us to work with progressive, popular artists," says Sommerville. "The acts we're dealing with are emerging, new artists. We're putting them in a position to be money-makers. In a more urban environment we wouldn't be able to do this."

Sommerville is candid about Sojo's most pressing need: financial backing. "We feel like we have the business down," he continues, "and we're getting help from some very big [advisors]." But, like any business, he says, "You have to harness support in your home town."

Burlington* Vermont, that's you. •

"Mt/ heart grew two sizes larger ^^ when I saw the treasures at Conant Custom Brass!"

-The Grincli

1

l i i i ® ® .

jj§l§

266-270 PINE STREET B U R L I N G T O N , V T

•

658-4482

lilfSlC

SOUL PROPRIETORS David Da Vinchi and Joey Sommerville

decernber

20,1995

on board SEVEN

DAYS

SECONDS, IRREGULARS, & OVERSTOCK

T-SHIRTS 5 FOR $ 2 0

• Music • E A R T H Sale Dates Dec 12-27 Mon-Fri 9:00-5:00

FINE A R T • HUMOR

Only Once Graphics

• 266 Pine Street • Burlington

ART

863-2302

wise en place Serious cookware - Frivolous gifts

9 6 State Street - Suite 2 Montpelier — 2 2 3 - 1 4 8 0

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11

alendar

sponsored

© Wednesday m u s i c

JULIO: A local hombre with Spanish roots performs Spanish and Latin American folksongs and poetry. Cafe NoNo, Burlington, 8 p.m. Donations.

Info, 865-5066.

d a n c e

by

w

c r d s

POETRY READING: Peter Goreau reads his winter solstice poems at Cover-To-Cover Bookstore, Randolph, 7 p.m. Free, Info, 728-4206.

k i d s

STORY TIME: Listeners of all ages hear stories at Kids Town, S. Burlington, 10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 862-2807.

e t c

CONTACT IMPROV: Gravity plays a crucial role in a kinetic free-for-all. Memorial Auditorium Loft, Burlington, 7:15 p.m. $1. Info, 860-3674.

CONSULTANTS NETWORK MEETING: Michael Harding takes you on a trip to Planet "Success." Inn at Essex, 5:30 p.m. Free. Register, 3510285.

OUTRIGHT MEN'S GROUP: Gay and bisexual men under 23 talk about their issues. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free.

Info, 865-9677.

CANCER SUPPORT GROUP: People dealing with cancer get support based on the work of the National Wellness Communities. Cancer Wellness Center, Chace Mill, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Register, 865-3434.

k i d s

PRESCHOOL NATURE PROGRAM: Kids feed the birds when they seedily decorate an outdoor tree. Green Mountain Nature Center, Huntington, 1 p.m. $2.

Info, 434-3068.

e t c

HOLIDAY SUPPORT GROUP: People who have lost a loved one to cancer commune for comfort.

Cancer Wellness Center, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Register, 865-3434.

TRANSPORTATION MEETING: The Metropolitan Planning * Organization welcomes input on its continuing comprehensive transportation planning process for Chittenden County. Regional Planning Office, Essex Junction, 3 p.m. Free. Info, 658-3004.

©fhursday m u s i c

ZELEN BULGARIAN SINGERS & DANCERS: The all-female chorus warms up for First Night. Cafe NoNo, Burlington, 7 p.m. Free.

Info, 865-5066.

a

r t

DRAWING SESSION: Artists get inspiration from a live model. Artspace, Burlington, 6:30-9:30 p.m. $5. Info, 862-2898.

Jlllliilk

$m I f a H F 3

STORIES: Kids aged two-and-a-half to three-and-a-half hear tales at the Fletcher Library, Burlington, 11-11:30 a.m.

Three-and-a-half to six year olds listen 10-10:30 a.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

PARENTS ANONYMOUS: Terrible twos or teens? Get support for parenting while your kids play next door.

Burlington, 6-8 p.m. Free. Info, 800-639-4014.

®

friday WINTER

SOLSTICS

moonlight nature walk follows. Vermont Institute of Natural Science, Woodstock, 7 p.m. $7. Register, 457-2779.

OUTRIGHT SUPPORT GROUP: Gay, lesbian, bisexual and "questioning" youth are invited to an ongoing support group meeting. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free.

Info, 865-9677.

SENIOR SWIM: Folks over 50 exercise in an 86-degree pool. YMCA, Burlington, noon - 2 p.m. Free. Info, 862-9622.

©

Free. Info, 863-1648.

VEGETARIAN MEAL: Food Not Bombs dishes out a free meal. Come at 9:30 a.m. to help cook or 12:30 p.m. to eat. Last Elm Cafe, Burlington. Free.

Info, 865-0622.

©

Sunday LAST

DAJ/

OF

HANNAKAH

Saturday

m u s i c

ONION RIVER CHORUS: See December 22, Barre Universalist Church.

'MESSIAH' OPEN READING: Sing, play or just listen to Handel. Bring a score if you have one. Middlebury Congregational Church, 2 p.m. Free. Info, 388-7634.

d a n c e

^

CONTRA DANCE: Pete Sutherland calls for David Carpenter, Tom MacKenzie and Tom Hodgson.

Edmunds School Cafeteria, Burlington.

Lesson, 7:30 p.m.

Dance, 8 p.m. $5.

Info, 865-9363.

a

r t

ARTIST SESSION: Artists and photographers get a new angle on their art with a live model. 150 Elm St., Montpelier, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 229-5253.

e t c

CARRIAGE RIDES: Catch a horse-drawn carriage ride on Church Street, Burlington, noon - 4 p.m.

m u s i c

MARCHING TO PRAETORIUS: The Onion River Chorus sings Christmas music by Michael Praetorius Friday at the Bethany Church in Montpelier and Saturday at the Barre Universalist Church.

PRESCHOOL PROGRAM: Make your own reindeer and wrapping paper at the Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 9:30 & 10:45 a.m. $4.50. Register, 878-8687.

I Reefing

HOLIDAY CONCERT: Elizabeth von Trapp and friends perform at the Congregational Church, Jericho Center, 7 p.m. $7. Info, 899-3324.

ONION RIVER CHORUS: This "surround sound" concert of music for Christmas Day features the works of Michael Praetorius. Bethany Church, Montpelier, 8 p.m. $8. Info, 229-2931.

k i d s

MOVIE NIGHT: Prancer— the reindeer between Dancer and Vixen — gets his due in this family film. Kids Town, S. Burlington, 7 p.m. Free. Info, 862-2807.

e t c

'TALES & TRAILS IN THE DARKNESS': Joan Wilson shares Russian folktales fit for the shortest day of the year. A

O P E N SESAME: Bert and Ernie act as career counselors in the occupational comedy, When I Grow Up. Kids choose from three shows Tuesday and Wednesday at Memorial Auditoium.

<0

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$Z00 OFF

log th« connection P.O. Box 2192, So. Burlington, VT 05407

New Year

December 31,1995 * 2 pm'til Midnight * Downtown Burlington

"A Celebration You'll Remember!"

Program Guides and Buttons Available at All Key Bank of Vermont Branches • All Regional Grand Union Stores • All Martin's Shop 'n Save Stores All Regional Price Chopper Stores • All Merchants Bank Branches * All Regional Howard Bank Branches Anchorage Inn * Apple Mountain • Ashley's Cards & Gifts The Outlet Center • Bathtique University Mall Bear Pond Books Stowe * Bennington Potters North + The Blue Toad Waitsfield The Book Rack Champlain Mill * Booksmith Essex • Burlington Square Mall Customer Service Center Champlain Centers North Mall P i t t s b u r g h , N Y * Chapters Bookstore & Cafe Shelburne Chassman & Bern Booksellers * Everyday Book Shop + Fletcher Free Library Flynn Theatre Regional Box Office • Leddy Park Arena • Main Street News Montpelier + Simply Better Shelburne Supermarket • Timeless Toys Essex Junction

Buy Buttons Now and Save up to 40%!

Through December 24: Individuals $7 each * Family Plan-5 for $30 + December 25-31: All Buttons $10

Mail and Credit Card Orders First Night • 191 College Street, Burlington, V e r m o n t 05401 * 863-6005 Toll Free 8 0 0 - 6 3 9 - 9 2 5 2 (Courtesy of Frontier Communications)

Join the comedy juggling team of Waldo & Woodhead as they make their way through the Vermont countryside. Will they make it to the "Big Show" at the Flynn on time?

"It's my favorite

— Aiden, age 3

video"

TO ORDER

The Show Must Go On CALLI-8OO-FOOLERY

page

12

SEVEN

DAYS

december

2 0,1995

©

monday CHRISTMAS

®

Calendar is written by Clove Tsindle.

Submissions for calendar/dubs and art listings are due in writing on the Thursday

DA J/

betore publication. SEVEN DAYS edits for

tuesday

space and style. Send to: SEVEN D A Y S , P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402-1164.

iv c rd&

WRITERS WORKSHOP: Wordsmiths meet at Cafe NoNo, Burlington, 7:30 p.m. Donations. Info, 865-5066.

OPEN POETRY READING: Local poets exchange their verse at the Last Elm Cafe, Burlington, 8 p.m. Free. Info, 865-0622.

kids

Or fax 802-865-1015. sevenday@together.net $8.25. Info, 863-5966.

STORY TIME: Listen to stories at the Children's Pages, Winooski, 10 a.m. Free.

Info, 655-1537.

STORY HOUR: Kids between three and five engage in artful educational activities. Milton Public Library, 10:30 a.m. & 1 p.m. Free. Info, 893-4644.

©

Wednesday dance

CONTACT IMPROV: See December 20.

kids SESAME STREET LIVE: See December 26, 4 & 7 p.m.

PUPPET SHOW: The Red Wing Puppet Theatre offers music, juggling and puppetry. Fletcher Library, Burlington, 3-4 p.m. Free. Info, 865-7216.

'THE SALMON STORY': Learn about the life cycle of Atlantic salmon from fish and wildlife biologist Laura Eaton. Lake Champlain Basin Science Center, Burlington Waterfront, 2 p.m. $2. Info, 864-1848.

KWANZAA GAME DAY: Learn and play mancala, a game of strategy from Africa.

Kids Town, S. Burlington, 11 a.m. 3 p.m. Free. Info, 865-6870.

'PUZZLE-FUN': Students seven to 12 make jigsaw puzzles with paste, pictures and cardboard. S. Burlington Library, 1011:30 a.m.

Free. Register, 658-9010.

PLANETARIUM SHOW: How does Santa navigate at night? What causes northern lights? Find out at the Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 1 p.m. $4.50. Register, 878-8687.

SPACE CRAFT PROGRAM: Design your own flying saucer, satellite or space shuttle. Discovery Museum, Essex Junction, 11 a.m. noon or 2-4 p.m. $1. Register, 878-8687.

classes dance

C o m p l e t e beginners, noon

AFRO-CARIBBEAN:

- 1 p . m . or 6 - 7 : 1 0 p . m .

Fridays, 5 : 3 0 - 7 : 3 0 p . m . a n d

Advanced beginners, 7:20-

Saturdays, 10 a.m. - n o o n ,

8:30 p.m. Escuela Latina,

Tai C h i Studio, C h a c e Mill,

Burlington. $ 2 2 5 . Register,

Burlington. $ 1 0 . Info,

865-3047. Learn conversational Spanish from a native instructor in a class of six or less.

CONVERSATIONAL SPANISH: A d v a n c e d , s e v e n

985-8371. Recently transplanted from New York City, Richard Gonzales starts ongoing classes.

yoga

M o n d a y s starting January 15, 6 : 1 0 - 8 : 3 0 p . m . inter-

KRIPALU YOGA: Eight

mediate, seven M o n d a y s &

Thursdays starting January

Wednesdays, 8-9 a.m.

11, 6 : 4 5 - 8 a . m . or 8 : 3 0 -

Escuela Latina, Burlington.

9:45 a.m. College Street

$ 2 2 5 . Register, 8 6 5 - 3 0 4 7 .

Congregational Church, Burlington. $ 7 4 . Register,

860-2814. Martha Whitney leads all levels in meditative yoga to increase strength, flexibility and compassionate selfawareness.

6 5 8 - 6 7 9 5 • Non

BEGINNING SPANISH:

FRIDAY 12/22 $3 21 + $518-20

POCO LOCO FRT IO I I

December 20-23

ROCKETSLED 1ESUS NUT JKS

FRIDAY HUFFY 12/29 VELVET OVUM $ 3 2 1 + ETHAN AZARIAN $ 5 1 8 - 2 0 STARLIGHT CONSPIRACY SATURDAY 12/30 TUGBOAT ANNIE $ 3 21 + $5 18-20 GUPPY BOY

Happy Hour Entertainment S t a r t s @ 6pm Wed-friday

rBill

FREE H O T

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decernber

1668 Willistan Read

THURSDAY 12/28 $321 + $5 ALL AGES

NEW YEARS EVE! 2) W W 863-6363

CHIN HO! THE PANTS WIDE WAIL $5 21 + / $ 1 0 18-20

20,1995

SEVEN

DAYS

-sectarian

and Tibetan Buddhist practices are taught.

Seven Tuesdays & Thursdays, starting J a n u a r y 16.

JOUR

Follow the format, 15 word descriptive

First &

third Sundays, 10 a.m. -

CLASS: including

sentence.

a five to Mail or walk

it in, with $5 for one week or $15 tor a month, by the Thursday before

publication.

Free classes are listed without

r~ T

charge.

.

I

WEDNESDAY 12/20 $3 21 + $5 ALL AGES

BARBAC0A THURSDAY GOLDFISH $132 2/ 211+ STUPID CLUB $ 5 1 8 - 2 0 Wednesday through Saturday

MEDITATION:

Center. Free. Info,

E X S E P d DYSFUNKSHUN SOUP SANDWICH MACHINERY HALL

spirit noon. Burlington Shambala

language

LIST

Learn from a native instructor in a class of six or less.

G O O D MUSIC • GOOD

FOOD

Wednesday, Dec.120 l o s t Posse "

- -_

Thursday, Dec. 2 1 J a m e s Harvey Trio

Pdod crO 0 DoaDttcDDa^

OKDMESff JKEXUSLE ccDqoQD

Wednesdays: Roberto Recna/Heartattack

I

•

Tuesdays: Sneakers J a z z Band I 36 Main Street . W i n o o s k i I

j ; - 655-9081

J

FRI. 1 2 / 2 2 - THURS. 1/4 6:30 & 8:40 C o s e d Sun. tve. 12/24 Gill for holiday matinees

deejay cRAIG mITCHELL 21+/NO C O V E R deejay cRAIG mITCHELL

saturclays DAN SHAW 1 3 5 P e a r l burlington, vt 8 0 2 - 8 6 3 - 2 3 4 3

THE S A V O Y THEATER 26 Main S t Montpelier 2 2 9 - 0 5 0 9

page

13

4x6 PRINTS F O R 3x5 PRICES

SECOND SET OF

Peace & Justice Store

ON ONE ROLL OF COLOR FILM WITH THIS COUPON

WITH ONE ROLL OF COLOR PRINT FILM SIZES 35MM, 110, 126

Celebrate the Holidays!

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Must be presented at time of purchase.

One coupon per customer

Must be presented at time of purchase.

One coupon per customer

PhotoGamn ONE HOUR PROCESSING _ |

• CAMERA

Chanukah Solstice Christmas Kwanzaa

We Use

We Use

Photomm ONE HOUR PROCESSING

STORE

Downtown Buriington 206 CoUege Street

Williston Taft Corners

863-1256

878-0417

• CAMERA

_ Downtown Burlington | | 206 CoUege Street |

863-1256

£

I§

STORE

Williston Taft Corners

878-0417

Multicultural ChUdren's Books Alpaca Sweaters from Peru Beautiful Silver Jewelry Irresistible Pottery Holiday Cards & more!

21 Church St Burlmflon, Vt 802-&3-&326

Open Daily Holiday Hours B

teaseC A?oxncTco[offi

soaps and candles

yVustrafta. &reen[eaf

from

fresh scents.

Qhenitte ro&es and pajamas.

Catafog orders

rubber stamps & accessories •tots of hoCidau merchandise ^andmuch, muchmore...

accepted

ttours: Mon - Sat 10 - 8 Sunday Christmas "Eve 10-6 Other hours by appointment 46 Main Streetj

MiddkBury,

VT.05753

More than just a Card Shop » sterile, private and professional studio personally designed artwork of any style

800-300-12041

extensive portfolio

artist

appointment onjy Phone: 802-862-5397

tflllt

Odofidau tfours: j Monday A friday unttfBpm, Saturday unfiC 7pm, \ H Sunday Untif6pm ^/^y Corner of Co[(ege. and Church Street 116 Ghfirch Street

Great Gifts f o r Less than $20!

Choose from Our Favorites: Eco-Fleece Hats and Mittens. Remarkably soft and warm. Made from recycled soda bottles. Choose from blue, green, grey. Hats $1650 Mittens $15.

Recycled Glass Tumblers. Attractive and pleas ingly solid. Perfect juice glasses. Handblown from recycled soda bottles. Dishwasher safe. 16 oz. Four for $15.80.

Suet Feeders.

Fill our feeders with your favorite suet and attract hungry birds year-round. Weather and squirrel-resistant. Easy to fill. Prom $830.

ijimv

Papermaking Kits. Make recycling simple and fun.

Turn old paper into attractive, textured sheets. A perfect activity for parents and kids. From $11.

GreenCotton Nightgown. A beautifully styled, full-length nightgown. Free from bleaches and dyes for pure comfort during long winter nights. S.M.L Only $19.

S i m p l y ^ y Better 66 Church Street Burlington

^

7 J O M 9M0- W page

14

2 Main Street q Montpelier ^

gU/T

fa 802-658-7770 * 800-820-7770 90 Church Street, Burlington. Holiday Hours Mon. - Sat. 10-9, Sun. ll-6.

W p SEVEN DAYS

decembe r

2 0 , 1 99 5

4

'

%

M

j:

A

5

S

A

Purchase Date Christmas hnP Expiration Date• June Certificate No. 2002

%

U n i q u e Stocking Stuffers ^ T e a 6c Accessories ^ Nightshirts & Tees ^ Natural Cosmetics & Body C a r e Products H a n d m a d e L a m p s & Paper JJJ H e r b a l Oils & V i n e g a r s frj Gift Baskets Fun & Classic Teapots Exotic P e r f u m e Bottles Candles & Holders B o o k s &c C a l e n d a r s Over 3 0 0 Medicinal & Culinary Herbs 100 Main Street, Burlington, VT

ft . a MasS<38 e ovessF

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Newt

A h R e l i e f . . . T h i s Gift Certificate for

p r o v i d e s 1 h o u r of r e l a x a t i o n a n d g o o d health.

Make

your

appointment

with

R e n a i s s a n c e B o d y n o w a n d Feel G o o d S o o n .

To Y o u r H e a l t h !

Sincerely,

Hillary Cynthia Foss •

802-865-5274 Registered Massage Therapist

The

'G BOUTIQUE

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' l i f t

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Purchase gift certificates at either location and pass the choice of

of good

good taste on to your friends.

D D L E B U R Y

WAYBURY INN 4

w

riODVCI, DUl. IAU1Y AND THl T*IU3f»IW) CAH

Since

1810

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Cheese Outlet/Fresh M a r k e t 400 Pine Street, Burlington 802-863-3968 Hours: Monday-Saturday 8am-7pm; New Sunday Hours 10-5 Delivery Available. We ship nationwide.

H O L I D A Y PARTY PLATTERS

y InnerwearforWift

Giving

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R O M A N HOLIDAY Italian Style meats and cheese for your jolly old friends. Mortadella, Sopressata, Roasted Proscuitto, Aged Provolone, Parmigiano Reggiano, Hot Tunisian Olives and Crostini Flatbread Chips. Serves 10-15.

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GIFT A N D FRUIT BASKETS Unique selection of the finest in Specialty Vermont and Imported Foods.

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VT CHEDDAR MEDLEY This sumptuous sampler contains four premium cheeses from Vermont, accompanied by an array of perennial favorites. An excellent gift, the set includes Shelburne Farms Sharp Cheddar Cheese (1/2 lb.), Cabot Private Stock Cheddar (1/2 lb.), Grafton Village Dill and Smoked Cheddar Cheeses (1/4 lb. each), pure Grade A Vermont Maple Syrup (8.5 fl. oz.), Roland and Sons Summer Sausage (7 oz.), and a jar of Vermont Epicurean Mustard (2.5 oz.).

(Xommo

$29 FRESH B A K E R Y Hand Crafted Cookies, Gingerbread People, Angel Kisses, Chocolate Walnut and Mocha Pecan Pies

decernb e r

20,1995

Comfort Clothing

SEVEN

DAYS

page

15

The Map Center

BOOKSTORE drums, crystals, gifts, astrology charts & music

brCcC/

22 Church Street, Suite 6 Burlington, VT 05401-4456 802-660-8060 • Fax: 802-660-8088

Atlases* Globes* Relief Maps* Antique Maps • Great Gift Ideas 802-860-2886 Mon-Fri 8:30 - 6:00 Sat 10:00 - 3:00

4050 Wiiliston Rd. S. Burlington. VT 05403

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SEVEN DAYS

P

at McBean is nervous.

She's keeping an eye on the burly guy across the room while she gives a tour of the Porter Music Box Company and Museum in Randolph. The guy — a barrel-chested local cabinet maker — can't take his eyes off the intricately inlaid and carved wooden music boxes here. He's leaning closer to some of the priceless antiques and Porter's own high-ticket creations on display in this sedate sitting room.

McBean is about to demonstrate Porter's priciest product — the $20,000 model — but something distracts her.

It's the carpenter, reaching across the red velvet ropes to open the finely-polished lid of an irreplaceable, one-of-akind item.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you not to touch that," says McBean.

"Oh, you bet." He steps back carefully, still admiring it all. "I had no idea these were so big.'

He's not alone. While Porter music boxes are internationally known as the world's only large disc-style models, most of us right here in Vermont are stunned at first sight of them.

Lose the dresser-top jewelry-box image. These babies are huge.

Some are coffee-table-sized, others take up as much space as a jukebox. And if the size isn't enough to surprise you, the

sound is. The music coming from these boxes is so resonant and pure, it can give you religion. A tour group last summer "jumped three feet back," McBean says, when she started up a Hungarian rhapsody on a display model.

"When people come in, they're just amazed," says founder Dwight Porter, 46.

"They hear it for the first time,

BOXING BRAHMS

began at age eight, when he was fascinated by an antique music box at the Shelburne Museum.

The memory never left him.

By 1973, with a South Royalton High School diploma and stints in clock and jewelry repair to his credit, he convinced Thetford music box restorer Lloyd Kelley to take him on as an apprentice. Within two years, he presented his first pro-

*

By

Amy

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Rubin

and they go, 'oh, my God, I thought it was going to be a little ballerina twirling around on top."

Perched on 10 picturesque acres overlooking Randolph, the company is a bastion of precise artistry in a rough-hewn patch of Vermont countryside. Begun in 1974 on $35 savings, the business is the brainchild of Porter, a native Vermonter. His love of the 19th-century craft

try-music star Tom T. Hall, schmaltz king Wayne Newton, and Myron Floren of "Lawrence Welk" fame. While sales are steady in the U.S. and Japan, the company's bread and butter comes from cassettes and CDs that capture the sound from the Porter pride and joy: a unique twin-disc model.

These days, Porter leaves hands-on work to his 13 employees. But as an adminis~TD IE trator and developer, his original O —I fascination still drives him to o build a better box. And because, > cr as he explains, "there's no gear •x>book that tells you what design i oo to use," nearly all internal workzz m ings are made on-site. The comJ» pany creates everything, from the hand crank that starts the ^ / ;J music to the clockwork spring mechanism that keeps it going 5 for 20 minutes to "the heart of the music box," a metal comb that plucks punched-out projections on rotating steel song discs. Porter's crew makes the discs too, which sell at $60 a pop and range in taste from Sousa to Sondheim. three buildings and runs a The effort is both a delight museum of rare and antique and necessity for Porter, who music boxes. takes pride in overcoming the difNo question, Porter boxes ficulties of building a specialized make beautiful music. But with — if not obscure — business. prices starting at $6000, who "If there's a problem, you buys them? Downplaying the don't pick up the phone and inaccessibility of his line, Porter find out how to fix it," he says. claims his customers come from "There's no one to call. You "every walk of life." But he's have to design the process yourproud to list his more promiself. So many trade secrets have nent buyers, including CBS been lost. We have basically reporter Charles Osgood, counrevived a lost art." •

•

. rc\

,

The Porter Music Box Company in Randolph revives an old — and pricey — art form

be competition. It was an exciting challenge for Porter, who claims he "always liked to do something no one else is capable of." By 1978, the company boasted national distribution, and was commissioning the custom Italian cabinets it still imports. Today, the business manufactures three models on computer-run systems, sells 120 boxes annually, operates out of

totype at a trade convention.

The model — put together with his wife, Mary, on their kitchen table — attracted just three sales, but that was encouragement enough. Porter plunged in.

He borrowed $25,000 and started tooling parts on machines he designed. He had to; his original parts suppliers, Swiss music-box makers, now considered the Yankee upstart to

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BEAN I E BOXES , papier mdcht tableaux of mythical dogs life

by David Klein. About Thyme Cafe, Montpelier, 223-0427.

Through January 3.

WORKS OF 20 YEARS, by P.R. Smith. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through December.

NEW PAINTINGS. by Karen Dawson. Cafe No No, Burlington, 865-5066. Through January IE A YOUNG G I R L AT GHETTO T E R E Z I N . 1941-44, draw-

ings by Helga Weissova Hoskova. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 863-3403. Through January 14.

NAKED PAVEMENT > photographs by Spencer Tunick.

Exquisite Corpse Artsite, Jager DiPaola Kemp Design, Burlington, 864-5884. Through January 20.

PAINTINGS I N PROGRESS, holiday sale items by Karen Dawson. Lakeside Gallery and Art Studio, Burlington, 8651208. Through February 15. Call for appointment.

NORTHERN R E N A I S S A N C E ARTWORK, by A n o n y m o u s .

135 Pearl, Burlington, 863-2343. Through February 15.

IN THE STREETS , photographs from the People's Conference for Economic Democracy and The Pride of the Old North End Parade by Jen Mathews. Metropolitan Gallery, City Hall, Burlington, 863-6248.

Through December.

HANDWORKS/HAND WORKS , mixed media works by Elsa Waller. McAuley Arts Center, Trinity College, Burlington, 658-0337. Through February 29.

NEW PAI.NTINGS, by Laura Emerson, INK DRAWINGS, by Gregg Blaisdel, and DECORATIVE FRAMES with antique jewelry and buttons, by Elaine Ducharme. Daily Planet, Burlington, 862-9647. Through December.

SPICE OF L I F E , group exhibition of nine Vermont artists. Firehouse Gallery, Burlington, 860-1792.

Through January 13.

A COLLECTION OF ALUMNI ART WORKS of eight graduates. Burlington College, Burlington, 862-9616.

Through January 15.

FIVE ARTISTS FROM GRACE, featuring Gayleen Aiken, Merrill Densmore, Larry Bissonette, Dot Kibbee and Phyllis Putvain. Artspace, Burlington, 862-2898. Through January 10.

SEASON ' S FLEETINGS . hand-pulled relief prints and monoprints showing seasonal changes in Vermont,

by Roy Newton. Red Onion, Burlington, 865-2563. Through December.

BEGINNING AGAIN, monotypes byTerry Racich. Unitarian Universalist Church, Burlington, 658-3564.

Through December.

THE STORY OF A RELATIONSHIP,narrative paintings by Dug Nap, Studio, Burlington, 658-5123. Call for appointment.

NEW PAINTINGS , by Janet Fredericks. Merrill Lynch, Courthouse Plaza, Burlington, 660-1000. Through December.

RELIEF WORKS . wood blocks and prints by Bonnie Baxter. McAuley Fine Arts Center, Trinity College, Burlington, 658-0337. Through January 5.

GILA MONSTER ART COLLECTIVE, oil paintings and photographs by six local artists. Java Love, Burlington, 864-3414. Through January 1.

HOLDING THE CIRCLE, mandala drawings by Alison Granucci. Muddy Waters, Burlington, 862-5630.

Through December.

ANNUAL HOLIDAY SHOW, with 11 regional artists. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 985-3848.

Through January 18.

PAINTINGS & SCULPTURE, group show with local artists. Wing Building, Burlington, 864-7480. Through January 31.

VERMONT FOLK CRAFTS , holiday showcase and sale. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 388-4964.

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HOLIDAY EGG-CELLENCE Furchgott Sourdiffe ushers out the old year with a substantial 11-person exhibit, and there's no tinsel in sight. The work is diverse — abstract, realist and inbetween — and leaves no doubt that Vermont art can stand up with the best. Jake Geer uses oils to sumptuous effect in glistening Vermont- landscapes, while Marilyn Ruseckas goes one step further in pastels — setting sensual, curvy fields ablaze with stunning, unnatural colors. Lois Foley's remarkable abstractions — intelligent studies of the relationship between geometry and color — and Rebecca Merrilees' gouache still-lifes bookend this show with excellence. Merrilees is apparently in an egg period; her contributions here each feature the iconic oval in paintings as delicate and cool as porcelain.

-Pamela Polston

SEVEN DAYS

1985-

1995 , Old Master and 19th-century European prints, contemporary prints and EARLY MODERN ART from the permanent collection. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 603646-2426. Through April 7.

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BY ROB BREZSNY

ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): I want to express my admiration for the adventures you've risked in 1995. You've had a sixth sense about when its best to ignore all the "No Trespassing" signs. And yet you've also had a seventh sense about how to avoid nasty surprises inside the off-limits areas. Your assignment for 1996, should you choose to accept it: Stop exploring all those once-forbidden zones and start settling down in the one you enjoy most. Move in your belongings, throw a house-warming party and get to work building your future power spot.

TA URUS (Apr. 20-May 20): Nineteen-ninety-six will be a year for capitalizing on the success of people youve supported, encouraged or helped. I'm reminded of a passage in Ann Lamott s book on creative writing, Bird by Bird, in which she metaphorically describes the process by which she mines her best work: "I'm the person whose job it is to hold the lantern while the kid does the digging.. .The holder of the lantern doesn't even know what the kid is digging for half the time — but she knows gold when she sees it" GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Nineteen-ninety-six will bring some clamorous clashes — and ultimately some manic mergers — of the sacred and profane. It'll have certain resemblances to that CD of cats meowing Handel's Messiah. It'll be like that scatological comic book based on William Blake's visionary poetry. It'll be like the Walmart that's scheduled to be built on Native American holy land. Think you can handle that much juxtaposition and paradox? I do. I predict that your already-brilliant talent for going both ways at the same time will reach new heights, especially when it comes to finding divine revelations in funky settings.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): As a holiday gift, 1 have embedded millions of subliminal affirmations in your horoscope. By the time you've finish reading this sentence, you Will have already unconsciously absorbed so many signals convincing you that you're smart and beautiful that you will actually be 10 percent smarter and more beautiful. And if you dare to keep reading to the end of this sentence, you will, within 72 hours, hatch a brainstorm that'll transform your romantic relationships in 1996. Bonus guarantee: The more often you pore over this message, the more breakthroughs your love life will enjoy.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Ready for some fresh, hot metaphors for the new year? I predict that your life in 1996 will be like learning to play the cello while giving your first concert; like felling back in love with a fantasy you'd fallen out of love with; like living out an epic movie version of the self-help book What You Can Change and What You Can't. But the best metaphor of all for your year ahead is this: being discovered by a big talent scout while you're cleaning out the lion cages.

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VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I wish you the sweetest revenge in 1996.. .the only revenge that matters.. .the revenge that comes from pulling off a smashing victory in a game everyone predicted you would lose. My thoughts turn to the life of one of my favorite authors, Clarissa Pinkola Estes. In 1970, she was a dirt-poor, single, welfare mother, the favorite scapegoat of all rich, privileged greedbuckets. Today she's an award-winning Jungian therapist whose book, Women Who Run ivith the Wolves, lit up the New York Times best-seller list for almost two years. A vindication like the one Estes achieved is the gift I'd most like to promise you this winter solstice.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): As 1 peer into my designer crystal ball in search of your future, I see heavy rains, rising waters and maybe even a flood. Knowing how my visions usually work, I should urge you not to take this one literally. Most likely it means you'll be swept up in events that'll make you feel more feelings than you have in a long time. Not necessarily bad feelings; just deep feelings, and a lot of them. To prepare, I suggest you build the metaphorical equivalent of an ark. It should be neither an inviolable fortress nor a refuge conceived in fear, but an adaptable sanctuary where you can retreat to find the objectivity you'll need in the wake of tidal waves of passion.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Nineteen-ninety-six will be a now-you-see-it-now-you-don't kind of year for you, Scorpio; a don't-blink-or-you-might-miss-something-important kind of year. Your clues about what to do will be ephemeral, but they will come in abundance. If you refuse to let the mystery drive you crazy, it will massage your psychic G-spot like a sexually adept guardian angel. I guess I should add that 1996 will be a take-nothing-forgranted, dont-go-to-sleep-on-the-job, keep-a-close-tat>-on-your-supposedly-sure-things-at-all-rimes kind of year.

You should extend yourself far more than its cool to do. Err always on the side of doing way too much rather than too litde.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Did you hear about the mother in Northern California who set a series of conflagrations in order to stimulate her sons firefighting career? It's important to keep her in mind in 1996, because she is a perfect role model for the behavior you must religiously avoid. It would be a bad idea for you to keep whipping up a certain kind of trouble simply because its trouble you're good at solving. So then whats the alternative? Ignite lots of fires, yes, but do it under your own butt or under the butts of allies who can help you boost your net worth.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Metaphorically speaking, your year ahead should have certain rqemblances to the way a starfish regenerates a lost limb, or to the rejuvenation of a river once filled with dead fish and oil drums.

It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to compare your next 12 months to a long-time sufferer of multiple sclerosis whose legs are miraculously healed when she's hit by lightning. On a lighter yet heavier note, I should mention that 1996 will probably also have something in common with the movie Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein: kinda scary but ultimately kinda funny.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In some respects, 1996 will be like the ultimate free lunch for you. In other regards, it'll be like standing near a high-voltage electrical line downed after a storm — which you sure as hell better not touch. In other words, this could be just about the most unpredictable year ever. By that I don't mean bad unpredictable; simply irreverent towards your plans. Under the circumstances, the best way to prepare for the next 12 months might be to imagine what it would be like keeping your balance while hula-dancing on the hood of a moving car.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): I don't know how or why you've managed to get all the way through 1995 without showing up for a final showdown with the dragon in the cave. I realize you've been pretty busy babysitting the dwarves and humoring the harpies. I know that even the unicorns have been bitching, and that one of those Tinkerbell wannabes actually threatened to sue. Certainly your fairy godmother could have been more forthcoming with her aid and comfort. All those damn good excuses aside, however, I must still remind you: Your feelings of powerlessness are concealing from you how powerful you actually are. You simply must take on the dragon once and for all before March 1996. • .. <g> copyright 1995

SEVEN D A Y S WILL N O T P U B L I S H THE WEEK OF J A N U A R Y 3, BUT WILL RETURN O N J A N U A R Y tO, 1996 W I T H A SPECIAL

BODY/MIND ISSUE page

20

SEVEN DAYS

« december

2

0,1995

^bfr

*

%

THE HOYTS CINEMAS

FILM QUIZ • 1995 Rick Kisonak

MEET THEIR MAKERS

You know t h e m , y o u love t h e m , but do y o u recognize them? A b o v e are photos of four of the country's most successful m o v i e directors. Your job, once more, is to match the f i l m m a k e r ' s n a m e to his picture.

Don't

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The Good.

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LAST WEEK'S WINNERS Jim Hulfish Ben Taylor Lise Bornstein Lee Margolin Mark Jalbert Mark Wise Roseanne Depot Danny Gofi Rita Flynn Kim Cushing

Review HEAT

***

What's the difference between "Miami Vice" and The Last of The Mohicans} One's the brainchild of director Michael Mann, the other of James Fenimore Cooper. Mann's a stylish guy who almost single-handedly transformed the look and sound of American television in the '80s, but a great writer he's not.

This is the chief reason his previous films were highly watchable while his latest is highly improbable.

Mann's proven he can make a S H O O T I N G B L A N K S The latest from Al Pacino misfires. great cop film. Manhunter, based on the Thomas Harris novel Red Dragon, was a textbook suspense fest. He's yet to prove that he can write one, however. W i t h a running time of nearly three hours, Heat is Mann's failed attempt to make a macho epic about an elite team of thieves and the cops who are on to them. In one of the two parallel storylines, Al Pacino presides as a detective who — you guessed it —'is having trouble at home. In the other, Robert De Niro heads a crack unit of professional bandits. Halfway through the story the police are tipped off to the bad guys' plans and put them under surveillance. The thing is, De Niro and Co. know they're being watched but decide to pull the lucrative heist they 5 have planned, anyway. The big question the script sets up is: Will Pacino wind up killing De Niro, or vice versa? . „ Three hours is an unbelievably long time to wait for the answer to that question, especially when so much of the movie is equally unbelievable. A few examples: • De Niro and Co. know they're being watched, but pull the heist they have planned, anyway. (I know I already mentioned that, but come on — this is the basis for an entire movie?)

• All the film's marketing to the contrary, Pacino and De Niro have only two scenes together in the whole movie. In the first, Pacino pulls De Niro over and invites him for a cup of coffee.

• De Niro accepts.

• Virtually every problem encountered by De Niro's crew stems from the fact that, early in the film, he hired a total stranger to help out with a heist. A guy this s a w y would never have made that mistake.

• In one scene De Niro and crew dine out with wives and girlfriends, openly brandishing expensive gifts and spending money like they were printing it themselves. What, these guys never saw Goodfellasi A guy tliis sawy would never have made that mistake.

• Twentysomething Amy Brenneman (one of the first to break the naked butt barrier on "NYPD Blue") picks up De Niro (who's going on 60) in a coffee shop and falls madly in love with him.

• De Niro has second thoughts about getting involved. (What, this guy never saw "NYPD Blue?")

Yes, the picture has a nice look. The cast, which also includes Val Kilmer, Tom Sizemore and Jon Voight, is capable. Occasionally, a sentence or two of dialogue sounds like it wasn't lifted verbatim from The Crime Writer s Handbook. But the list of things Mann has done right is short. Next time he would be wise to let someone else do the writing. In the meantime, despite the weather. Heat is something you should probably turn down.

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ISABEL'S0N THE T lmROm

NIXON Oliver Stone's three-hour take on what made Tricky Dick tick. Anthony Hopkins stars.

WAITING TO EXH A L E Forest Whitaker directs this story of four women looking for, thinking and endlessly chatting about love in Phoenix. With Whitney Houston and Angela Bassett.

GRUMPIER OLD MEN Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon reprise their surprise '93 hit. Sophia Loren joins them.

TOM AND HUCK Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Brad Renfro team up for Disney's latest retelling of the Mark Twain classic DRACULA: DEAD AND LOVING IT Mel Brooks directs this companion piece to 1974's Young Frankenstein. Leslie Nielsen plays die guy for whom any bloods the perfect type.

SUDDEN DEATH In the mood for something truly moronic and already saw Nick of Time and Money Train?

You re in luclc Jean-Claude Van Damme's back with a boneheaded tale of terrorists who threaten the Vice President by taking over a hockey rink. Featuring that barometer of cinematic bogusness, Powers Boothe.

P ERSUAS ION This widely-praised adaptation of Jane Austen's posthumous novel stars Amanda Root as a young 19th-century woman trapped in one of those maddening star-crossed love deals. Ciaran Hinds plays the guy who's always just out of reach.

CUTTHROAT ISLAND The husband-and-wife team of director Rennv Harlin and actress Geena Davis have bet $70 million that what you're in the mood for right now is a story about a female pirate who sails in search of buried treasure with Matthew Modine. My bet for the winter s Watenoorld.

BALT0 The animated adventures of an outcast sled dog. Sounds mushy. Get it?

SHORTS

JUMAN J I * * Effects-heavy fantasy about a kid who gets trapped in a magical jungle board game and then spat back out 26 years later as an adult. Well, as Robin Williams, anyway. The real surprise here isn't that the writings dull as algebra class or that parts are far too intense for young children. The shock is how shlocky a number of the special effects actually are.

FATHER OF THE BRIDE I I * * Desperately in need of a hit, Steve Martin goes home again for the holidays. To the Banks home, that is. This time around, both daughter and wife (Diane Keaton) are expecting — and Dads having a mid-life crisis. Desperately in need of a hit, Martin Short reprises his role as the accentchallenged decorator, Franck. Intermittently mildly amusing. What more would one expect from a remake of a sequel?

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NOW ON SALE Isabel s Own V.I.P. Frequent Diner Card only $19.99 A Great Holiday

Gift!

C o m e Try O u t O u r N e w W i n t e r D i n n e r M e n u Wednesday-Sunday 5 : 3 0 p m - 9 : 0 0 p m

1 1 2 Lake Street • Burlington • 8 6 5 - 2 5 2 2 decernber

20,1995

ETHAN A L L E N C I N E M A S 4 North Avenue, Burlington, 863-6040.

Dracula: Dead and Loving It* 12:30, 2:30, 4:40, 7, 9:40. Sudden Death* 12:20, 2:40, 5, 7:30, 10. Tom and Huck* 12, 2:20, 4:30, 6:50, 9:20. Balto* 12:15, 2:10, 4:10, 6. Casino 8:15.

CINEMA NINE Shelburne Road, S. Burlington, 864-5610.

Grumpier Old Men* 10:10, 12:15, 2:35, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30. Sudden Death* 10:05, 12:20, 2:25, 4:35, 7, 10:05. Cutthroat Island* 9:50, 12:45, 3:35, 6:45, 9:30. Jumanji 9:45, 12, 2:15, 4:40, 7:10, 9:45. Father of the Bride II 9:55, 12:10, 2:30, 4:40, 7:10, 9. Sabrina 10, 12:45, 3:45, 6:45, 9:35. Toy Story 9:55, 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30, 8:30, 10:15. Goldencye 9:50, 12:30, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40. American President 10, 12:25, 4, 6:50, 9:50. No morning shows Monday or Friday.

SEVEN DAYS

SHOWCASE C I N E M A S 5 Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494.

Tom and Huck* 12:10, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:25.

Grumpier Old Men* 12:20, 3, 5, 7:20, 9:35.

Jumanji 12, 2:15, 4:50, 7:10, 9:45. Father of the Bride II 12:40, 2:40, 4:40, 7:15, 9:40. Toy Story 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:30, 8:30, 10.

N I C K E L O D E O N C I N E M A S College Street, Burlington, 863-9515.

Nixon* 12:30, 4:15, 8. Waiting To Exhale* 1, 4, 7:10, 9:45. Balto* 11:50, 1:30, 3:10, 5, 6:40.

Heat 12, 3:20, 6:50, 8:30, 10:10. Sabrina 12:45, 3:40, 6:30, 9:30. American President 1:20,4:30, 7:30, 10.

T H E SAVOY Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509.

Persuasion* 6:30, 8:40. Please call for holiday matinees. * STARTS FRIDAY. Times subject to change.

Please call theaters to confirm.

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21

Classifieds

m

legals NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are herby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1993-94 and 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Paul Koenig, Michael Casarico. Property Address: 197 North Willard Street. Tax account number: 117867 Map Lot number: 000451072000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 409 pg. 717, 12/20/89 From: William and Cecilia Shafer. Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the Ciry of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995 Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, V T NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the Ciry of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are hereby notified s that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1992-93, 199394 and 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of

Burlington, to wit: Owner of record: Steven Bennett, Patricia Coghlan. Property Address: 80 Northview Drive. Tax account number: 022385 Map Lot number: 00-0233168000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 426 pg.

453, 1/15/91 FromWinegar and Coghlan. Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11 th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are hereby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1992-93, 199394, 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Bilmar Team, Cleaners, Margaret Murrray and William Blood. Property address: 150 Shelburne Street.

Tax account number: 023560.

Map Lor number: 000542028000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 340 pg. 480, 8/18/86 From Theodore R. Irish.

Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands

will be sold at public auction at â&#x20AC;˘the office of the City Constable on the 11th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are herby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Scott Mansfield.

Property Address: 693 Riverside Ave. Tax account number: 132884 Map Lot number: 000394224000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 450 pg. 712, 3/31/92 From Merchants Bank.

Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont.

NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are hereby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Scott Mansfield, Property Address; 690 Riverside Ave. Tax account number; 132855 Map Lot number: 000394265000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 437 pg. 338, 9/21/91 From Mary Brown. Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are hereby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premisesin the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Scott Mansfield, Property Address: 105 Brook Drive. Tax account number:

132860 Map Lot number: 000293025000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 458 pg. 667, 7/24/92 From Denise Whittier.

Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are herby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Scott Mansfield.

Property Address: 617 Riverside Avenue. Tax account number: 132865 Map Lot number: 000402079001 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 486 pg. 429, 7/12/93 From: Judith and Larry Zaetz.

Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together

with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont

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NOTICE OF TAX SALE The resident and nonresident owners, lienholders and mortgagees of Lands in the City of Burlington, in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont, are hereby notified that the real estate taxes assessed for fiscal year(s) 1989-90, 199091, 1991-92, 1992-93, 199394, 1994-95 remain, either in whole or in part, unpaid on the following lands and premises in the City of Burlington, to wit: Owner of Record: Vernon McGuire, Land Management.

Property Address: 90 Rose Street. Tax account number: 121865 Map Lot number: 000392062000 R. Deed recorded at: vol. 328 page 384, From Shuler. Reference may be had to said deed for a more particular description of said lands and premises, as the same appears in the Land records of the City of Burlington.

And so much of the lands will be sold at public auction at the office of the City Constable on the 11 th day of January, 1996 at 1:00 o'clock in the forenoon, as shall be requisite to discharge said taxes together with costs and other fees allowed by law, unless the same be previously paid or otherwise resolved.

Dated at the City of Burlington in the County of Chittenden and State of Vermont this 8th Day of December, 1995.

Jessica Oski City Constable Burlington, Vermont

P e r s o n < t o > Pe r $on women seeking men WORLDLY, DARK-HAIRED SWF, 40s, with a brain, heart & spirit. Eclectic interests. You: 45-55; likewise N/S, curious, creative, educated, playful, sensitive, emotionally secure.

Open to sharing. Box P-2.

YABBA DABBA DOO: Dinosaur seeks same. Days of fins, flash, chrome, barn dances, drive-ins. Share new memories.

Dina: 48, blonde/blue, armful.

Dino: 40-55, fun, nice, interesting. Box P-4.

NORTH C O U N T R Y LIVING, like it just fine; seeking fella who'd like to be mine. Long brown hair, plussized, fun. You: 40-50, rail outgoing, affectionate, smoker.

Box P-7.

PASSIONATE W O M A N : 40s, non-smoker, progressive, healthy, honest, secure, cultured, smart and interesting.

Loves music, dance, books and nature. Looking for a vibrant, loving, sensitive man. (40s-50s) for deep friendship, romance.

page

22

Box P-10.

24. Box P-22.

SWF, mid-20s, college grad, earthy, high-maintenance, Irish and outgoing, seeks honest, educated and open-minded male in mid to late 20s. Must enjoy good sense of humor, spontaneity and the great outdoors. If this sounds like you, contact Box P-9.

STRIKING, TALL, 37, capable, active, interested in details and big picture Ready for deep-thinking, light-hearted, loving partner to help expand my horizons. Ctl. VT. Box P-28.

SILVER FOX: Lonely the problem? Solution at hand, pretty classy lady, good dance band. Dinner, movie, options galore, he a non-smoker to continue the score (58-65).

Box P-8.

W I N T E R FUN PLAYMATE WANTED: Tall, 47-59, nonsmoker. Let's explore snow, slopes, skiing & snowshoeing, followed by hot drinks &c a warm, toasty fireplace.

Downhill/cross-country, your choice! Box P-15.

LONG BLONDE HAIR, green-eyed college student, looking for educated M who is outgoing, emotionally secure and a non-womanizer. Ages 18-

OYEZ, OYEZ. I like olives, opera, Oprah, omphalus, ovulation, osculation, Orioles and ouija. Looking for an oasis among oafs. You are obliging, observant, and you like oatmeal.

Ornery, odd and orts, o.k. Leave obscurity and obsequence at the office. Write and draw c/o Box P-29.

men seeking women EDUCATED MAN D W M 35, very attractive, educated, professional, published writer, poet, linguist. Humorous, sincere, sensitive, athletic, good conversationalist, romantic. ISO pretty, intelligent woman for LTR. Box P-1.

SINCERE, SPIRITED NSND/NA 30YO/SWM;

homeowner, advocate, writer, photographer, w/no kids (yet), and no STD's. Seeks passionate, caring woman for friendship, companionship, and possibly an LTR. Box P-3.

HI, I AM DENNIS, THE LONELY MAN who needs a lonely woman (30s) for Christmas who likes to have fun. If you're a good woman who needs a good man, please respond. Box P-5 ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, DWM. I'm 44, 5'8", 145 lbs., open-minded, attractive. Fond of music, walking, talking, hiking, movies, sports, sunsets and possibly you. Box P-13.

T R U S T FUND HOMESTEADER, 40, heroic hipster/ dufus, lover of books, bad weather, adventure, romance...ha-cha-cha-cha!

Box P-16.

ARE YOU: Attractive, slender, healthy and fit? Do you run, bike, hike and love winter? Me, too. 30s to 40s female. Please write and I'll call. Box P-18.

SEVEN DAYS

FREE-FALLING T H R O U G H TIME: Tall, built renegade seeks rrim, foxy lady 40+ to fire retro-rockets with, smell the roses and capture our wildest dreams together. R.S.V.P. Box P-23.

LONELY 2ND SHIFT WORKER: S W M , 56, 5'11", 178 lbs. seeking LTR with S/D WF 40 to 55, full -figured 5'2" to 5'8," smoker and kids okay. I will pay your rent in Burlington area. Waiting for a letter. I like TV, country music, walks, holding hands and more.

Box P-24.

S W M , 52, seeks 25 YO SWF for companionship, money, car for socialization, dining, dancing, &C long walks.

Box P-26.

SUGAR GUY DWPM 40 NS romantic, educator, vegetarian seeks country woman 35 - 45 who wants horses, loves nature & is looking for a soulmate.

Box P-2 5.

D W M , 41: professional; new in town; romantic, fun, creative.

Seeking SF 25-40 (kids okay) for friendship and possible relationship; should be intelligent, reasonably attractive, and classy but down to earth.

Write me. Box P-27.

men seeking men FRIEND IN DEED! Handsome, spirited, spiritual GM (37) seeks a comrade for intimacy. Also an "angel" who can assist me to access alternative medicines for living with HIV. Box P-12.

ispy I SPY W I T H MY LITTLE EYE a M who's sexy, sweet, caring, hairless, a mofning person, huggable, has a fetish for cows and is keepable.

Box P-14.

I PITY DA FOOL...who doesn't give the higher Ps big smooshy holiday kisses for being superb editors and splendiferous women. We love, lov^, love you...Renegades, unite! XXX times infinity, us.

december

2 0,1995

room for rent

Piano included. Smoker or 2ndhand smoker welcome. Call John, 658-5792.

BURLINGTON, COLCHESTER AVE. Looking for a 5th roommate for a big, spacious bedroom. Plenty of parking, walking distance to UVM and downtown; $250+ util. 433-6263.

W O M A N & CHILD & 2 SILLY DOGS are looking for a vegetarian woman to share our country home. 25 min. to Burl.

Acres, garden, greenhouse & pond. $362+1/2,434-5283.

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sublet SUBLET APARTMENT with 2 large bedrooms, hardwood floors, parking. South Union Street. $710+ dep. includes heat/ hot water. 863-0277. Available Jan. 1.

housemates BURLINGTON: Roomy house on river in New North End. W/D, large yard. Pets okay.

On bike path. $400 + 1/2 util.

Larry, 860-6898.

C O M E JOIN US! Another woman wanted to join one man, one woman in cooperative household. Beautiful, sunny, cozy 3-bedroom apartment with garden space, parking and W/D. N/S, drug-free. Vegetarian preferred. $225+, 862-6727.

BURLINGTON N/S, M/F professional to share modern 3bdrm. house off North Ave. Near busline &c beaches. Gas heat &C laundry. $295+. Call Stephen @ 864-6885, after-

BURLJNGTON New North End. $300 includes all. W/D,

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T R I M YOURSELF WHILE YOU T R I M YOUR TREE. Fast, safe, natural weight loss.

Money back guarantee. 802583-1521 or 1-800-311-5984..

stuff to buy BREW YOUR OWN BEER! Homemade wine and soft drinks, too. With equipment, recipes, and friendly advice from Vermont Homebrew Supply. Now at our new location next to the Beverage Warehouse, E. Allen Street, Winooski. 655-2070.

W O M E N ' S TELEMARK/ BACKCOUNTRY SKI BOOTS: Merrill Ultras. Size 7.

All-leather, Vibram soles, great condition. $100. Call 4345546.

GIBSON ES-135: Just starting to break in. Asking $800. Call 863-0247.

GOOD CITIZEN 1996 CALENDARS are available at: TONES, ADVANCE MUSIC, PURE POP, PHOENIX HERBAL, BURLINGTON COLLEGE, PEACE &: JUSTICE CENTER,

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SILVERMINE, EARTH PRIME, CHASSMAN & BEM, PHOTOGARDEN, VIBES or by mailing $8 to PO BOX 5373, BURLINGTON, VERMONT 05402.

BALL PYTHON: 2 1/2 yrs old.

30-gallon tank w/lights and ALL accessories. W/10-gallon Rattank. Everything included. $300 OBO. (802) 660-2780.

RAPID FIRE MAGAZINE #13 interviews: New Bomb Turks, Showcase Showdown! Audio Reviews, Monster Rat's Motorcycles,. Band Pictures: Jello, FUGAZI, SNFU, Beastie's, OFFSPRING! $3 cash: RFM, RD#1, Box 3370, Starksboro, VT 05487-9701.

SKIS AND BINDINGS: Never mounted Salomon 9 Equipe 2S PW7 (200 C M ) $650 new, $350.

In the box Driver 977 Equipe,. $300 new, $175. 660-4876.

FOR SALE: PLANE TICKET Burlington to San Francisco, January 10. One-way male. $ 125. Call Alex or Alison, 8654921.

real estate COHOUSING IS SHARING RESOURCES AND CREATING COMMUNITY. It is happening in the Burlington area. Interested? Call Barbara or Don, 862-1289 days; 658-4857

DELI FOR SALE Busy location, steady clientele, cheap rent. Call Elizabeth @ 660-8509 or 877-6978.

T R a G - i c o M i O

audio/video AUDIO: KEYBOARD-EPS 16+ turbo,"sampling sequencer w/ 2meg RAM/SCSI interface, 1000's of sounds, $1000. Roland SBX80 SMPTE/MIDI synch box, $375. Shure M 6 7 - M I C mixer 4X mono, $150. Phantom Power supply 48 volt, 4 channel, $75. Will consider trade for desktop stuff. Bill Kinzie, 6581531.

AUDIO: MIXER: 18x8x2 Seek, many feaures, flight case. 3g new, $1500 -\b.o. EV 18: subs, front loaded, like new, $800/b.o./pair, Wicked! Call 456-1203, leave message.

VIDEO: PANASONIC W J M X 12 video/audio mixer, mint, $1,000. Sony V09800-3/4 SP, excellent condition, $3750. TBCIDEN-ITV 7, mint, $850.

Tamron Fotovix-film to video transfer unit, $350. Bill Kinzie, 658-1531.

massage UNDER STRESS? For ultimate relief, hot-tub, shower, massage or a gift for that special someone. For healing/energy.

Regular session, $45; extended session, $60. Tranquil Connection, 878-9708.

martial arts MARTIAL ARTS FOR W O M E N : Self defense and fitness training for women only.

Group and private lessons.

879-2554.

help wanted NEW HOLISTIC MAGAZINE SEEKING INVESTOR or partner. $ is important, so is magazine knowledge. Both

together is a definite +, 865-9263 or 865-5185.

C H R I S T M A S CASH! Need extra cash for the holiday.and beyond? International marketing firm seeks motivated individuals with leadership qualities to help us grow. 862-6656.

DEVELOPMENT DIRECTOR BURLINGTON CITY ARTS This position manages and coordinates all fund-raising activities

by Burlington City Arts. Extensive knowledge of fund-raising and grantwriting practices and procedures, knowledge of federal, state and private funding sources and grant administration, thorough knowledge of budgetary procedures and fiscal management. Additional responsibilities include program coordination and development. Bachelor's degree in related field preferred; equivalent work experience also considered.

Four years experience in arts programming and administration, with at least two years in grants and budget administration.

Proficient typing and computer skills, knowledge of database management, spreadsheets, Aldus PageMaker and Wordperfect are essential. Submit City of Burlingron application to: Laurie D. Lemieux, HR Dept., City Hall, Burlington, V T 05401.

Women, minorities and persons with disabilities are highly encouraged to apply. EOE.

music REHEARSAL SPACE coming soon. Burlington/S. Burlington location, living-room-like atmosphere. Rent by hour/ week/month. For more info., call Lee at 860-8440. Leave message.

"MILD T O WILD" DJ SERVICE! 500 CDs — ALL STYLES T O ADD PIZZAZZ TO YOUR HOLIDAY PARTY! 2 HRS./$150, 3 HRS/$200, 4 HRS/$225. W O W ! 660-1982.

by

T H E GREEN ST. M U S I C S C H O O L for lessons in guitar, bass, drum kit, snare rudiments, African percussion, banjo and voice. Many different styles and levels taught. 865-2528.

BASS LESSONS: Berklee grad accepting students. All abilities, acoustic or electric. John Lilja (Science Fixion, Jenni Johnson, etc.) 655-3259.

KEYBOARD LESSONS: R&B - funk. Studio musician/ seasoned pro. Brian Bull (Tough Judges) Affordable. Call 6581531 or 865-3930.

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Swedish, Gsalen, and Shiatsu J2aura

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Cjifl Certificates SAvailable 75 <-Minute Ontroductorij Session for $JO 865-1233.

hillaru

660-8255 Member Vermont Massage Guild

C y n t h i a Foss • 802-865-5274 Registered Massage Therapist

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GIFT CERTIFICATES

OSAANYIN

Stephanie Buck, M.A., L.C.M.H.C.

Cooperatively- Owned

O Over 400 bulk organic & wildcrafted botanicals from all over the world @ A complete line of fine essential oils, extracts, supplements, incense & books. © Mail order catalogue available

Psychotherapy MM*

Montpelier, V T

Organic Juice Bar

802-223-7173

112 Main St. © Montpelier, V T 05602 O 223-0888

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j t Evergreen Educational Programs, Consultations, and Mediation Also Parenting Skills And The Full 862-6674 Range Of Life Skills. M-F 9am-9pm.

South Burlington

Gift Certificates

Theresa Luca Gilbert

Jane Linsley

Certified Drug & Alcohol Counselor 862-6498

658-1842 Burlington

Massage Therapist

intention and goal there is often a loss Hypnosis. Between of momentum. Hypnosis be the voice of A Support can encouragement for: smoking cessation for Change. •• weight gain/loss • sleep disturbances • stress reduction Individual sessions in a safe, professional setting.

Available

LINDA S C O T T LICENSED PSYCHOLOGIST

Offering professional services to adults ot adolescents choosing to recover from anxiety, depression, substance abuse, sexual abuse, low self-esteem.

Insurance & Medicaid accepted.

337 College Street Burlington, V T 05401

(802) 864-1877

L i f e is a cycle.

A r e y o u riding y o u r s , o r is it riding you?

W i t h 2 0 years' experience, J o h n offers help w i t h y o u r cycles.

Astrology Chart / Written Report Relationship Charts / Report lYr.l 6 Mo Astrology Forecast

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Jan. 12, 19, 2 6 at 6:30 p.m.

Monlpelicr 2 2 3 - 1 8 7 0 ext. 3 Call for a brochure.

Dr. Darrick K. Jagbandhansingh Chiropractic Physician focusing on soft tissue work • neuromuscular massage

Cjuided Toga Yoga Therapy • Kripalu Yoga Classes with Martha Whitney Next class series begins January 8 • Classes for all levels of experience • Yoga for Pregnant W o m e n • Yoga for W o m e n over 4 0 New students welcome!

For Registration & information: 8 6 0 - 2 8 1 4 Guided Yoga • 41 M a i n St., Burlington, V T

Get your w e e k l y f i x on Vermont arts, e n t e r t a i n m e n t , news and v i e w s with a subscription to SEVEN D A Y S .

Call 8 0 2 . 8 6 4 . 5 6 8 4 .

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