Seven Days, July 26, 2000 by Seven Days

: the weekly read on Vermont news, views and culture ;

CO-PUBLISHERS/EDITORS Pamela Polston, Paiila Routly CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Peter Freyne ART DIRECTION Donald Eggert/ Tara Vaughan-Hughes J PRODUCTION M A N A G E R Lucy Howe CIRCULATION/CLASSIFIEDS/ P E R S O N A L S Hope Corbin SALES M A N A G E R David Booth ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES Michelle Brown, Kristi Delaplain, Eve Jarosinski, Colby Roberts, Diane Sullivan ASSOCIATE EDITOR/CALENDAR WRITER Gwenn Garland > CONTRIBUTING WRITERS | Marc Awodey, Nancy Stearns Bercaw, Flip Brown, Marialisa Calta, Colin Clary, John Dillon, Erik Esckilsen, Peter Freyne, Jeff Fuccillo, Anne Galloway, Paul Gibson, Ruth Horowitz, Helen Husher, Jeanne Keller, Kevin J. Kelley, Rick Kisonak, Peter Kurth, Lola, Lynda Majarian, : Richard Mayer, Melanie Menagh, Andrew Nemethy, Jernigan Pontiac, Robert Resnik, Molly Stevens, Shay Totten, Pip Vaughan-Hughes, David Weinstock PHOTOGRAPHER Matthew Thorsen ILLUSTRATORS Paul Antonson, : Harry Bliss, Gary Causer, Paula Myrick, Tim Newcomb, Sarah Ryan, ; Steve Verriest WEB M A S T E R Donald Eggert DIRECTOR, S E V E N DAYS DESIGN | Tara Vaughan-Hughes

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Spin City Burlington steps up its efforts to encourage cycling citizens By Jeanne Baron

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Four-Wheel Fashion The motor "mode" urges truck-driving trendsetters to accessorize By Flip Brown

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I HOME SWEET HOMOPHOBIA I strongly agree with Mr. Kurth on many of his points, but I disagree on the "fear" of feminization that he ascribes to [Crank Call, June 14]. I would like to cut the average "Joe" a break, but as a gay white male I can't. I have studied other cultures, particularly in the realm of verbal and non-verbal expressions of homosexuals, and the United States is not alone in its derision of homosexuality. What is most fascinating is that, for those cultures with derogatory non-verbal gestures deriding homosexuals, the gestures are those viewed as "femi- i nine," i.e., limp wrists, fluttering eyelashes, etc.

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I would suggest to Mr. Kurth that it is the view that women are inferior — cross-culturally — that brings out male homophobia. The logic goes like this: Women are inferior, men who are gay are "womanly," therefore gay men are inferior and deserving of derision. The Bible (the blueprint for hatred and war that it is), the Laws of Nature and plain old American ignorance are blamed for homophobia, but that would not explain homophobia within the gay community. As strange as it may seem to the heterosexual population, there is much selfhatred among gay men. I personally attribute this to growing up in a society that is not only anti-gay, (say what you will, folks, but we still do not have federal protection

I think everyone should have a loud muffler, as an ADWS — Advanced Deer Warning System. — Zed Fatka Owner, Better Bus & Bug Burlington A device that zaps drivers who talk on cell phones, forget their turn signals and don't watch the road. — Rolf Humburg Mechanic, Ralph's Foreign Auto Burlington

A reverse-choke or anti-throttle to strangle gas flow, thereby guaranteeing reduced gas consumption and emissions. — Melissa ChesnutTangerman Co-organizer, Solarfest Middletown Springs A very high-powered dog-hair remover. — Lisa Hughes Accountant, Grippin, Donlan & Roche South Burlington

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'CUEBALL' TURNED DOWN? I was depressed beyond words by Lynda Majarian's column on the dating scene for women in Burlington [Crank Call, July 19]. I had hoped that I might have a chance of finding a partner in mid-life despite being bald, but realize now the sight of me will merely inspire the thought, "Is this the only sort of man I can expect to attract?" And so when "Cueball" (that's me) suggests a second outing, he'll get turned down, despite "being a pleasant and interesting conversationalist," and even picking up the tab. Other aspects of my character, of course, are not worth looking into. And they say men are superficial! — Michael Henson Middlebury

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To relay a little "inside" information, my associate, Mark A. Baker of Tennessee, the Primitive Editor of Muzzleloader magazine (Texarkana, Texas), was hired as one of the two flintlock rifle and musket trainers for Gibson, Heath Ledger and Jason Isaacs. Isaacs plays the loathsome "Tavington," patterned after "Bloody Ban" (Banastre) Tarleton. Baker had Gibson fire live rounds at targets to improve his handling of the flint-

lock firearms, including practice in moving about rapidly while re-loading and firing. For full details on this aspect of the film, see Baker's article, "Aim Small, Miss Small," a concept and phrase that Baker introduced to Gibson, and which became one of Gibson's lines in the movie... — George Larrabee Woodbury

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AMENDING PA 1 RIOTREVIEW Not that I am trying to preempt Rick Kisonaks niche as the film critic for Seven Days, but as a writer myself who is familiar with Revolutionary War history, I would like to note that, regarding The Patriot... Mel Gibson was off the mark in observing that his character, the reluctant revolutionary "Benjamin Martin," was wrongly structured in scripting him as a white Southern planter who preferred to hire free labor (the African-American workers on his farm aren't slaves)... noting, as quoted in the current George magazine, that a typical Carolina planter would have been a slave owner.

Moreover, Martin is obviously based on the real (and never reluctant) patriot Francis Marion — the "Swamp Fox" — who indeed was not a typical Southern planter, and, to his eternal credit, refused to enslave human beings as laborers... Gibson's Martin was closely based on the career of Marion. Also, the producers, telescoping history as Hollywood often does, also credited to "The Ghost" (Martin) Redcoat-fighting ideas that are known to have originated with Gen. Dan Morgan of Virginia. These were implemented by Morgan to defeat the hated "No Quarter" Tarleton in the Battle of Cowpens, as well as by Gen. Nathaniel Greene, from Rhode Island, to nearly defeat Cornwallis in the Battle of Guilford Courthouse. The film also represented the battle of Guilford Courthouse as a clear-cut U.S. victory, which it wasn't, though it did initiate Cornwallis' devolution to surrender at Yorktown.

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— only state) but also sexist in nature. I just turned 40, and have seen many changes in our society, but those who espouse that "we've come a long way, baby," are spectators. It is easy for Mr. American Heterosexual to say that Queers have it a lot better than ever before — but let him walk a mile in our pumps. The reason that women are less averse to homosexuality is that they too are a minority; they understand how difficult it is to be "on the fringe." Homophobia will not decrease until sexism is no longer a part of the fabric of the American way of life. — Keven-Charles Pearce Burlington

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head! Wish we'd had our tape recorder with us. But in all seriousness, riddle me this: If Vermont's landIf you've been following the political trail in the mark, benchmark civil-rights law is going to spell pages of the local daily lately, this is the picture you political doom for all the politicians who supported get: Veteran Statehouse Democrats are dropping out it, explain what's going on in Hinesburg? of the legislature like mosquitoes caught in a cloud For the last six years, the Chittenden-6 district of civil-unions bug spray. Rather than face the has been represented in Montpelier by Rep. Bill ignominy of defeat in November, 19 Democrats are Lippert, a Democrat. A liberal-progressive chickening out. Four in the state senate and 15 in Democrat. the House. And more than that, Billy the Lip had quite the The Republican Party, as the story goes, is saliWinter of Civil Unions. It was a winter he'll never vating at the prospects of reclaiming the mountain forget. It was Mr. Lippert's moment in the spotlight. top. GOP state chairman Patrick Garahan is biting As the only "openly gay" lawmaker out of 180, (a his lip to stifle the smile that's erupting across his title used to distinguished Lippert from the noncleanly shaven, pro-heterosexual, openly gay lawmakers, the Republican face. The Democrats openly non-gay lawmakers, the got into bed with the homosexual not openly non-gay lawmakers, community and made the nationthe completely unopenable lawal gay agenda their battle cry. In makers and the hovering press), November, the story goes, they . Billy the Lip was quoted globalwill pay the piper for this abomly from Paris, France, to Perth, inable tune, and they will pay Australia. In his dramatic floor mightily! Happy days are here speech, Billy the Lip thanked again for the Vermont Republican his colleagues on the Judiciary Party! Committee —Republican, At least that's the scenario Democrat and Progressive — being scripted in the pages of for doing the right thing. For Vermont's largest daily. The hamsending a message "that it is mers going to fall, so all you time to take another piece of the Democrat mice better run for hatred and the discrimination your lives! Judgment Day is and the prejudice and remove approaching! Just read the fullit... to embrace our neighbors, page ads from the lunatic fringe if to affirm committed, loving you don't believe me. relationships and to affirm our And it's not just The common humanity." Burlington Free Press. The elecPretty radical stuff, eh? If tronic press appears to develop an anyone would be on the righterection every time there's a hint wing, party of God, Take Back of the new civil-unions legislation Vermont hit-list, you'd think it'd E I E R FREYN having a negative impact on life as be Rep. William Lippert. we know it. But guess what? Not one, repeat, not one antiWhat's next? "Concorde Crashes in Paris — civil unions zealot has stepped forward to challenge Vermont Civil Unions the Likely Culprit?" Or Billy the Lip. Not one member of the Patrick "Popular Burlington Beach Closed by Fecal Garahan Party of God has followed through on all Coliform — Civil Unions to Blame?" Or how about the angry threats of retribution we've been hearing "Heavy Snow in the Forecast — God's Revenge for for months. Not one. Lippert is running unopCivil Unions?" posed. .).- Yes, we exaggerate, but only to make the point. And in Burlington, Ch. 3 reported Monday If there's an earthquake in Vermont tomorrow, civil night a Blue Dog Democrat, Rep. Jim McNamara, .unions will be blamed by some. After all, since the has a primary opponent who's motivated by country was founded, superstition has been a cherMcNamara's vote on civil unions. McNamara voted ished constitutional right. against the legislation. For readers who are just passing through our Challenger Mark Larson told Andy Potter, "My beautiful patch on holiday, you may be wondering if perspective is that gay and lesbian couples are a all this is about the Civil War. It isn't. strong part of our community, and they are families "Civil Union" is the new law in Vermont that within our community. And I don't believe in govliterally legalizes love for all citizens, be they straight ernment that excludes people." or be they gay. The democratically elected governPretty radical stuff, eh? ment of the Green Mountains has, by majority vote And in Chittenden 5-1, which covers parts of of both houses of its bicameral legislature, leveled Shelburne and Williston, Republican Rep. George the playing field for all two-legged animals. They Schiavone has a Progressive challenger who didn't did it in a civil manner after hearing from thousands like his no vote on civil unions, either. and thousands of constituents in Vermont and interOf course, Garahan's Party of God will point to ested axe-grinding citizens from out-of-state. In the the challenger taking on Republican Rep. Tom Little end, the sanctity of marriage was extended to sancti- of Shelburne, one of 15 House Republicans who fy the love and commitment of any two unrelated stood up to the fear mongers. Big Mr. Little, chairadults who wish to pledge their troth for richer or man of the Judiciary Committee, is widely acknowlpoorer, in sickness and in health, until death do edged as one of the genuine class acts under the them part — or divorce court, whichever comes golden dome. He said it was a good thing to be first. challenged because "the public gets a better idea of Hey, let's hear it for love, which is already on the who you are and what you stand for.'L --endangered species list as it is. Little's big challenge comes from a gentleman by Needless to say, the new law does not enjoy the name of Rod Fisher. Mr. Fisher told Ch.3 the unanimous support. No law ever does. A number of civil-unions law prompted him to run. But here's people, who are masters at rowing a boat with just the funny part. Mr. Fisher declined to be interone oar in the water, have jumped on the public viewed on camera. What kind of political candidate stage to expose their genius. They claim to represent turns down free air time? God. But we talked to God the other day down on Experience tells us, the kind with less than two the Burlington bike path, and She said She had not oars in the water do. The kind that are afraid to authorized anyone to speak for Her, so go figure. have their face attached to bigotry and intolerance. In fact, God, who's been around a long time — The kind that may have flunked Dr. Spock's potty even before the Abenakis — told us She's observed a course back in diaper days. Candidate Fisher appardirect correlation between the chafing yuckiness of ently prefers to remain anonymous. Cool. the strident, self-righteous opponents of legalized New Talker Hits the Airwaves — Yes, that was love and poor potty-training when they were todJames Dwinell behind the microphone Monday dlers. No kidding. and Tuesday for the vacationing Mark Johnson on God said, in an exclusive Seven Days interview, the stations of Radio Vermont. "It's more than coincidence that folks like Nancy Which reminds me. Some of you probably are Sheltra and Brian Pearl blurt out such gross and not aware yours truly also freelances news reports on disgusting things because, when they were little the same airwaves. Everything from Howard Dean babies, they never properly learned the fine art of on lingerie to the latest jury verdict. Now you know. holding it, if you know what I mean. Thus," said (WIZN-FM on Wednesday mornings, during The God, "as adults they swim in it." Once again, God hit the old nail right on the continued on page 4 8

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Mistaken Identity When Thai police arrested Tim Nakponkham, 40, for drug possession, they learned she was already serving time in jail for a similar offense in 1998. Officers investigated and found that her 28-year-old daughter Vasana was there instead, having substituted herself for the four-year sentence "to show her gratitude" to her adoptive mother, according to the Bangkok Post newspaper. Authorities said the mother must serve the original sentence, plus another three years for avoiding imprisonment, while the daughter faces a five-year jail term. • Joseph Pileggi, 69, of Akron, Ohio, thought he was marrying 83-year-old Ducile Palermo three years ago, but he recently came across the marriage license showing he actually married her 61year-old daughter, Carli Buchanan. What's more, the daughter claims Pileggi knew he was marrying her and that they consummated the wedding the same day. "He truly is in a state of disbelief," said Pileggi s attorney, Russell Pry, explaining that much of the confusion can be traced to Palermo's tendency to use her daughter's name. "I'm not

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$ 100, Choi said he activated a silent alarm and told theman, "I no understand what you want." When the robber repeated his demand, Choi said he answered, "What you want $100 for? I have no thing that cost $100." The robber, who insisted he had a gun in his coat, was still trying to make himself understood when police officers arrived and arrested him. • A man wearing a black ski mask walked into a gas station convenience store in Davenport, Iowa, pulled a handgun from his coat pocket and demanded money. According to police Lt. Rick Chase, when the clerk responded, "Don't even," the gunman said, "OK," put the gun back in his pocket and left. • Denise Six said that when her son, Nathaniel Reid Six, 20, told her drug dealers were after him for $10,000, she gave him the money. A few days later, she received a ransom note demanding more money and called police. When officers arrived at the arranged drop spot in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, they found Nathaniel Six in a rented limousine with his friends and an empty bottle of champagne. "It appears other parties in the vehicle had no idea they were supposed to be kidnappers," Lt. Paul Kroutter said after Six was arrested.®

organ for which no substitute has ning Oregon lottery numbers — teen -created. mistakenly picked up that day's winning numbers from Virginia. The next day, when the paper Odd Endings BY ROLAND SWEET appeared, those same winning Instead of talking on his cell numbers were drawn in Oregon. * phone while driving, a 32-yearsure what names were used in the Oregon Lottery spokesperson old Irvine, California, man wedding ceremony. I'm not even David Hooper put the odds of stopped at the top of a freeway sure Joe knows." the coincidence at "a gazillion to ramp. He stepped out of the car, one." made the call and fell to his Hard Sell death. "He was on the phone The Guatemalan army has talking to somebody while leanHelp Me! hired Vice-Versa, a small ad ing on a 3-foot-high concrete railAfter several leading Brazilian agency in Guatemala City, to ing," California Highway Patrol politicians were hit with eggs by conduct an extensive campaign to demonstrators protesting governOfficer Mark Reeves said. help it regain the confidence of "Apparently he just fell over it. ment austerity measures, security the people after committing We don't know why. He fell 87 forces responsible for guarding numerous atrocities during three feet into a concrete culvert." President Fernando Henrique decades of civil war that ended in Cardoso spent weeks studying 1996. "We were very surprised how far away from an egg-throw Fur Fights Back and drawn by the challenge," er Cardoso would have to stand An Australian police officer admitted Rodrigo Mendoza, to be safe. They concluded the who confiscated an unlicensed Vice-Versa's creative director.^ distance was 150 to 180 feet, ferret from a man at a Brisbane "Thirty-six years of civil war! eft from which, the Folha de Sao shopping mall was driving the the army with an image prob- ~ Paulo newspaper said, the presianimal to a wildlife refuge when lem." The once all-po\^i|bb risr^ dent's head would appear as large it gnawed its way out of its box army's in-house propaganda preas a fly 12 feet away. and bit the officer on his penis. viously projected macho images While wrestling with the ferret, of tanks and marching soldiers. the officer grabbed the parking Coming Up Short New newspaper and television brake, sending the car into a F.M. Esfandiary, a leading ads superimpose peace slogans near-fatal spin. He finally manfuturist who legally changed his over images of doves bearing olive name to FM2030 because he was aged to subdue the ferret with his branches perched on camouflagebaton. certain that he would live to be painted combat helmets. 100, died at age 69. The selfstyled chronic optimist insisted Curses, Foiled Again Lucky Clue that immortality could be Meng Choi, the Korean When the computer system achieved because people might owner of a convenience store in crashed at The Columbian newshave worn-out body parts Lexington, Kentucky, thwarted a paper in Vancouver, Washington, replaced throughout their lives by robbery attempt by pretending he a copy editor — scrambling to synthetic substitutes. He died of did not understand English. recreate a lost page with the wincancer of the pancreas — one When the suspect demanded

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Get new job skills for the millennium without taking a millennium to get them. FLYNNSIDE SCOOP: Every year the Flynn Theatre invites members of the media to a "sneak preview" of its new season — an illustrated sales pitch, with free food, designed to generate interest in upcoming arts events. The Seven Days invitation always arrives attached to some sort o attention-getting prop. One year it was a work boot announcing Tap Dogs. Another year it was a metal garbage-can lid, promoting the return of Stomp. Last week the invitation came with a bowling pin — a possible nod to the Flying Karamazov Brothers, but more likely an archaeological reference to the spectacle that has been unfolding beneath, behind and alongside the scenes. You won't find it on the "Mainstage" series, but the hottest ticket in Burlington this fall promises to be the opening of the new, flexible FlynnSpace. Once occupied by a bowling alley, then the notorious Last Chance Saloon, it is the funky black-box theater that Burlington audiences — and performers — have long been begging for. Arts empire-building may be overstating it slightly, but on a summer day in July the level of industry on Main Street is, well, Romanesque. Workers are all over the newly configured cultural complex — a warren of offices, education labs, dance studio, catering kitchens and gallery space that now occupies three buildings adjacent to the main theater building. For the first time since the scaffolding went up, you can see the plan beyond the particleboard. When they blow through the wall, the main lobby will curve around where the old concession stand used to be — soon to be replaced by a cherry and "verde marble" job. From there, a corridor leads directly to the gallery, formerly the old Chicago Bike space. Along with local art, it will host pre-performance discussions and post-performance parties. Next door is the education building, with a dance studio on the ground floor and a "studio lab" on the third. Together, they are headquarters for a wildly expanded curriculum of classes for children and adults in dance, voice, storytelling, poetry, theater and circus arts in what can only be described as a multi-generational Church Street Center — for the arts. You can realize your vocal potential with Jody Albright, or spend a weekend writing plays with Dana Yeaton, while your kid learns the "Elements of Jazz," "West African Drumming" or "Designing for the Theater." Instead of roaming the streets, high school kids can spend Wednesday nights for 12 consecutive weeks making "original collaborative performance" under the direction of Champlain Valley Union High School drama teacher Robin Fawcett. For once, they'll have a place to show their stuff, too. One of the functions of the FlynnSpace is to have an in-house spot "where creativity can be nurtured," says Flynn Artistic Director Amie Malina. For all its glory, the main hall has always been on the large side — too large for intimate and adventurous acts. The Flynn attempted to accommodate those by creating the "On-Stage Series," wherein both audience and performers were placed on the proscenium, with the curtain closed. But technical challenges made the individual shows expensive to produce, and it was tricky fitting them in between larger full-theater acts. "We want to try those things down here," Malina says of the new "modular" space, which can be arranged in any one of a number of ways, from cabaret-style to in-the-round. A full-service bar will add to the club-like atmosphere. "This will be a home, you know, to experiment," he adds. On behalf of-Jthe Flynn, Malina promises "at least eight jazz events," including a confirmed gig with jazz vocalist Patricia Barber, and fall appearances by Lincoln actor Deborah Lubar and performance artist Paul ZalOOm. A number of outside artists, including Vermont Stage, has also booked the space. Rental, complete with tech support, will run between $100 and $225 a day. "We're deliberately taking it very slowly," Malina says of programming the new space. But construction-wise, the project is right on schedule — it may even come in under budget, which would free up money for other improvements in the main hall. Look for four new toilets in the ladies' room, freshly painted walls and new carpeting in the aisles, for starters. Preservationists also want to restore a pattern of fiddlehead ferns that runs the length of the aisles above the wooden wainscoting on both sides of the big theater. Back down in the new space, the acoustic tiles are in and the chairs are being selected, but workers have yet to put in the floors, install the bar and attach the lighting grid to a low-slung ceiling. You can still see the outline of the old stairs that led down to the yeasty bowels of the Last Chance, but soon all the walls will be painted dark gray. A number of weight-bearing supports threatens to compromise at least a few sight lines, but Malina jokes, "They're essential for good art. All the best spaces in New York City — they all have poles." ® •

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Trade's

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The track-side take on a woman behind the wheel

B Y LYNDA MAJARIAN

Burlington College offers an educational philosophy that values what you bring to the classroom, and subject matter ranging from filmmaking to transpersonal psychology. To learn more, call, write, or e-mail us for your free Fall Course Bulletin. The list below is just a sample of what's coming this fall. • Film Production I, II, III • Cel Animation • Digital Audio Production • Irish Film & Irish Filmmakers • Motion Picture Scores • 3-D Computer Graphic Animation • Advanced Lighting • Films of Buster Keaton • Ceramics • Creative Nonfiction • Creative Writing • The Holocaust: Light and Shadow • Philosophy of Spirituality • Printmaking • Topics in Art History • Ways of Seeing: Art, Literature and Film Criticism • Poetry with Dana Levin (800) or (802)

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make my virgin trip to Thunder Road, the famous Barre short track, feeling woefully inadequate to interview Tracie Bellerose — the first woman to win a feature race at Thunder Road and on the American-Canadian Tour. How can I write about a racecar driver when I don't know torque from toothpaste? Is Bellerose as tough as people say she is, and will she take one look at me and know I'm one of those women who cant change a tire or drive a standard shift? That I respond to troubling engine noises by turning up the radio? Ken Squier, co-owner of Thunder Road, meets me at the back gate and drives me to the pits, the off-limits area where mechanics buzz around a long row of brightly painted racecars. "Trades legit, and she's proven it," he says. "She's got a fair sense of geometry, and she knows how to get through the traffic out there." Squier points to the steeply banked quarter-mile track, where cars are zipping around faster than my eyes can follow. Two hours before "post time," on a perfect July Thursday, the stands are already sprinkled with spectators. Squier leads me into the pits and introduces me to Bellerose, whose 17 feature wins in the past two years are rumored to have some male drivers hot under the hood. She is blonde and more petite than I'd imagined, wearing what looks to be a size 4 jumpsuit that exactly matches her blue-and-yellow 1999 Chevrolet Monte Carlo. Her handshake is surprisingly delicate, more of a finger clasp, and her voice carries a strong New Hampshire twang. Bellerose has to run practice laps before we talk, so I stand on the ramp of her trailer — which is crammed with tools, tires and a cooler of Gatorade — and squint into the sun as she straps on her helmet and speeds away. Five minutes later she returns, remaining in the car while her

crew runs back and forth with clipboards and various tools. No matter where I stand, I am awkwardly in the way or tripping over a hose, but everyone politely steps around me. Eventually Bellerose strides into the trailer, unfolds a chair for me and pulls up a tire for herself. Her replies to my initial questions are friendly but brief. She's been racing cars professionally for 12 years, I find out, and works as a sales representative for a beer distributor in Gorham, New Hampshire, when she's not behind the wheel. "I'm a very competitive person," she says, explaining racing's appeal. "And everybody likes to drive fast. But not everyone can do it legally." Including, as it turns out, Bellerose herself, according to a crew member who tells me later that Bellerose has collected plenty of tickets, and talked her way out of more. Things begin to get interesting when I ask Bellerose her age. "Thirty," she admits with a roll of her blue eyes. This is not comfortable territory. Does she get nervous before a race? "Not really," she says. "Not once I get in the car. But on race days, I won't eat anything all day." Then, as I busily scribble on my pad, she offers this: "You get nervous. Know how I can tell?" I shake my head. Is she psychic, or are my neuroses getting out of hand? "Your thumbs," she says, holding out her own. This is the moment when Bellerose and I bond — over our shared, disgusting habit of peeling the tender flesh around our thumbnails until they look like piranha bait. I begin to relax. We're both women, after all. We're both thumb mutilators. This paves the way to what I really want to know — how hard is it for a woman to compete in this traditionally testosteronedominated field? "I haven't had too many problems with jealousy," Bellerose says, looking uncomfortable again. "But then, I have

never done as well as I am this year." She already has two wins on this season's Tour — one of them at Thunder Road, where she's been reigning point leader for several weeks. "I've noticed a couple of teams reacting differently to me lately," she admits, "and I've heard some things said that I don't like." Take the race earlier this month, for instance, when another car exploded, coating the track with oil, and causing Bellerose and two other drivers to spin out of control. "For some reason, one driver blamed the spill on me," she recalls, "and he yelled a few words women don't like to hear." How does she react to such remarks? "You can't," she says with stoic New England reserve, and fires up a Marlboro Light. Bellerose goes out for another practice run, and someone tells me that the older woman on the crew is her mother. Once I corner Sally Bellerose, I know I've hit pay dirt. "I've seen male drivers intentionally take her out," she says angrily. "Other drivers notice it, too. The ones who do it get yelled at in drivers' meetings, but nothing else is ever done." Bellerose is a target not only because she's the sole female driver in the late-model sportsman division, her mother claims, but because she's so good. "It really wears on the guys when their friends tell them, 'I can't believe you let a woman beat you.'" Her daughter decided to race cars when she was three, says Sally, and at first her family tried to dissuade her. In high school, assigned to write the inevitable essay, "What I Want to be When I Grow Up," Bellerose says her teacher gave her a failing grade for writing about her racing plans. But she ignored all objections and hit the racing circuit after graduation. Without a financial sponsor for the first eight years, Bellerose had to foot the bills herself — about $37,000 a year — to keep a car on the road. "I don't have a great track record for keeping them in one piece," she admits when we sit down to talk again. Although she's been through four cars, she's never suffered more than "a few

'Everybody likes to drive fast. But not everyone can do it legally.^

— racer Tracie Belleros •.OT.PAY5 ,,juiy-26„2poo

REVVER WITH A CAUSE Racer Tracie Bellerose gets ready to roll bumps and bruises," she says, knocking on the trailers wood floor. Four years ago, Berlin City Motors signed on as her major sponsor, and Fashion Bug also kicks in some cash. "Its taken all the pressure off," she offers. Well, maybe not all the pressure. Until this year, when Berlin City started paying for a mechanic to service her rig, Bellerose and her father worked on it about 20 hours a week, as well as at the track. "I grew up in a family with three girls," she explains. "I was the one who went out to the garage and worked with Dad." Now that Jeff Laquerre, a third-generation former racer from East Montpelier, keeps the engine humming and the gears greased, Bellerose has time to play golf and relax. "Jeff's got Trade's car so it will work, and that's the whole trick," Squier says. But Laquerre has a slightly different take. "Just a couple pounds of air pressure can make a big difference," he remarks, "but Tracie's feedback controls 99 percent of what I do to the car." I'm beginning to understand that the driver-car relationship is interdependent, like the synergy of jockey and horse. When I ask Bellerose how she feels about tonight's race, her response is succinct: "The car's running good."

y own chance to try life in the fast lane pulls up in a pace car. Squier has

enlisted Randy Gonyau to take me out for a few laps around the track. Bellerose offers an alternative — strapping me into her car's back seat. I tell her my screaming might-distract her,

an admiring glance at Bellerose, kibitzing with a few drivers in the adjoining bay. "Tracie gets hit on all the time," confirms Kelly Paye, a longtime friend who has worked

lthough Bellerose looks relaxed, I figure its best to leave her alone when the pressure is on. By now the crew and I are pretty comfortable with each other, especially since it comprises three women — that's three more than any other crew at Thunder Road. Wearing a loaned, oversized jacket with a CBS Sports insignia, I feel like one of them, although I lose points for not recognizing NASCAR Winston Cup driver Jeff Burton as he struts the pits with an adoring entourage. Squier suggests I watch the feature from the "VIP Tower," which turns out to be a few rows of bleacher seats with a great view of the track. I don't see any just a few th multiple piercings women devourof fried dough, begins. After two laps there's a multi-car spin, and another in lap five. Bellerose veers into the infield to avoid the spinning car in her path. Unintelligible words bleat over the loudspeakers, and Bellerose re-enters the race in last place. Mirac ilously, she manages to overtake one car after another, dipping into impossibly narrow openings, gaining ground and speed. She's half-way through the pack, then only 10 cars from the front runner, and finishes in seventh place. Forty laps have passed in a heartbeat. Back in the pit, Belleroses crew is up in arms because she wasn't allowed to resume her position after the spinout. When I find Bellerose, she seems confused as well. "I'm waiting for someone to explain that," she

"I've seen male drivers intentionally take Sally Belleros which gets a big laugh. Once in Gonyau's cherry-red Camaro, I opt for safety and buckle my seatbelt, which he informs me is optional. As we careen around the track, my body slams into the passenger door — which may or may not be locked — so I grab the seat with both hands. It's hard to believe we're going only 60 miles per hour, and that the real drivers can crank it up to a suicidal 90 mph on this tiny track, but I take Gonyau's word for it. When I dizzily exit the car in my Jennifer Lopez-wannabe ruffled pants, I fantasize that some of the roughly 5000 spectators might think I am a celebrity. It's difficult for a woman not to feel good about herself at Thunder Road. In an hour of wandering the pits, I've been checked out by at least a dozen mechanics, crew members and drivers, and can only imagine how many hormones Bellerose stirs up in these guys. "She's living every guy's dream," one 9f the young male crew members tells me, casting

on Bellerose's crew for six years, and wears the headset to communicate with her in the car during races. "She'll shake hands, and she might tell a guy to call her, but around the track she's all business. It's not a social club." Bellerose would rather spend time with her growing ranks of fans, who travel from as far as northern New Hampshire to cheer her on, and have claimed the left rear corner of the grandstand as their turf. "We're usually the last team to leave," Pace confides. "If some little kid comes up to Tracie after a race, she'll stay and talk as long as it takes, even though we all have to be at work in the morn»

ing. Tonight, Bellerose fails to qualify in the first round of heats. Pace explains that this means she'll compete in a second qualifying round, and will start near the back of the pack in the feature race. "She'll probably just come up the outside track," Pace shrugs. "Most drivers don't like the outside, but she loves it."

says calmly. Disappointment clouds her face. "Tracie's not one of those cranky little drivers who get out of the car and start yelling," Pace tells me. "She keeps her cool." To myself I'm thinking there's not enough Valium in the world to get me through a day in Bellerose's jumpsuit. I exit Thunder Road wondering if something suspicious is going on. The next day's BarreMontpelier Times Argus, which reports Thunder Road results religiously, notes nothing illegitimate. I call Squier, who tells me, "Whoever they throw the yellow flag for goes to the rear, and they threw the flag for Tracie." I call Bellerose and repeat what Squier said. "That's what they said last night," she says, adding an expletive. "But I'm not the one who spun out first. I didn't say anything, though." Her voice reveals a tired familiarity with such troubles. But she won't waste any energy playing politics. Bellerose will just beat them on the track. (7) july 2 6 , 2 0 0 0

SEVEN DAYS

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_Bygone

Bikes

Recycling takes on new meaning at Burlington's Old Spokes Home BY BLAKE

MAHER

hen Glenn Eames talks about bikes, something strange happens: You feel calmer, sounds seem more distinct, colors appear softer, as if faded by time. T h e clock seems to turn back. It's easy to imagine Eames seated atop a turn-of-thecentury high-wheeler — bowler perched on his head, timepiece elegantly tucked in his vest pocket — as he slowly makes his way down a dusty road. For this longtime fixture in the Burlingtoh biking community, and proprietor of one of the city's newest bike shops, the image isn't much

WHEEL LIFE Glenn Eames believes good things come in 'cycles.

of a stretch. W i t h his beard, longish hair and steady gaze, he may look like an average Vermonter, but beneath that trademark red Cinelli jumpsuit beats the heart of a true bike aficionado. Eames has an encyclopedic knowledge of and ardent appreciation for the bikes of yesteryear. O n e glance into his aptly named Old Spokes H o m e on North Winooski Avenue reveals this is no ordinary bike shop. Restored and refurbished 'cycles from the 1940s and '50s, along with models from the more recent past, hang from the walls. Bikes with streamers, odd-look-

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ing horns, banana seats and flashy mirrors angle jauntily from the floor, supported by kickstands. Stacked and scattered about the shop are snazzy bike accessories — baskets, bells, fenders, lights -— which you won't find on today's high-tech mountain or road bikes. "People have responded really favorably to the feel of the shop," says Eames, who opened his doors on the first of March. "It isn't an intimidating atmosphere." On the contrary, visitors to the shop look delighted, like they've just returned to childhood, as they squeeze old horns and try bikes on for size. Here, biking is clearly not an "extreme" activity. And along with bikes for both adults and children, Old Spokes offers prices that are a lot easier on the pocketbook. "A good number of people don't want a fancy Italian road bike or a mountain bike that's going to be the target of thieves," says the proprietor. What they're looking for, he explains, is an inexpensive way of getting from here to there. Eames has a philosophical and practical commitment to making bicycles — or, more specifically, the concept of biking — available to everyone. He wants to help people discover biking as another mode of transportation, a viable alternative to automobile travel and the brief, disjointed views it provides of the world rushing by. The Old

Spokes Home even features a couple of work stations at which Customers can, for a modest $7 per hour, use the s h o p s ^ o o k t o fix a flat xirei do bike tune-ups or make other repairs. When time permits, Eames hands out free advice to the do-it-your-selfers. Eames, who worked for 10 years as service man1 ager at Burlington's ' Ski Rack, likes to think of himself as a "bike archaeologist." Nothing fascinates him more than the evolution of these wheels. He owns more than 70 antique bikes built between 1860 and 1910. With little prodding he'll share a wealth of biking lore, say, about the first crude, wooden-wheeled bikes, the introduction of the high-wheeler and the pneumatic tire, the spectacular popularity of bike racing in the 1880s. He throws in sociological commentary, too, such as: The bicycle was one of the first means by which women were able to explore, in a socially acceptable manner, the world beyond the restrictive boundaries of their houses — and their husbands.

automobiles and buses, do not like to share the road with them. "A lot of people don't think of the road as a public space," he says, shaking his head in disap-

moting the use of bikes in the community. For several years he ran a shop in conjunction with the Ski Rack called Planetary Cycles, which sold second-hand bikes. Although that venture eventually closed, it didn't deter Eames in his quest to make bikes accessible. . For a time he was the major force behind a program that provided refurbished bicycles at Burlington City Hall — unlocked — for use by the public. Unfortunately, the program lasted only one sea. son, primarily because the bikes fell into disrepair and I® were not enough ources to keep them Projects of this s o ^ B ^ n e s says, require funding commitments that are hard to come by. Now he's involved in a new program called Joint Urban Ministries Project that acquires bikes for people facing financial difficulties who need cheap transportation to work and other appointments. The project is still in its infancy, but Eames is optimistic it will help satisfy an important need in the local spectrum of social services. This fall, Eames will begin classes at the Old Spokes Home — a two-session tune-up class for

Eames likes to think of himself as a

rchaeoloeist." Nothing fascinates him more than the evolution Ml wheels.

Eames notes that bikers today face the same problem they always have: that other vehicles, whether carriages and carts or

p r i

proval. "They just don't look at it that way." This biker has a different view of the road. Having spent two years pedaling around the world — Europe, northern Africa and Asia — and another year working as a bike messenger in San Francisco, Eames, now a youthful 48, is committed to making the roads of Burlington more bike-friendly. Over the years he's been involved in a number of projects aimed at pro-

Cycles

$50 and a four-session overhaul class for $100. The prices, he says, are comparable to the cost of having the same services done by a mechanic at a shop. The difference, of course, is that when someone else does the work, you don't go home knowing how to take care of your bike the next time it needs fixing. One of the most satisfying aspects of his business, Eames says, is watching the way customers respond to discovering — or rediscovering -— the world around them. That experience hasn't changed since biking first made its way into the United States 150 years ago. And about 80 percent of his customers want to do it on an "old" bike, he adds. "I think everybody's looking for a way to slow time down, because it is going so damn fast now," Eames says. "People's lives are passing before their eyes in fast-forward, they're in their cars, they're scrambling around, trying to cram as much as they can into a day, checking their e-mail, trying to pay their bills. So to get on a bike that has upright bars, a little bit of comfort, and to kind of take it slow, I think it's a good feeling." © The Old Spokes Home is at 324 North Winooski Avenue in Burlington. For more information about upcoming classes, call 863-4475.

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last three election years for the maximum spending for State Senate campaigns/Three candidates spent more than $20,000 in 1998, with the maximum being $34,000. Excessive spending is often defended as "free speech." The problem is, votes are influenced by spending in ways that have little or nothing to do with the qualifications of the candidates to serve in office. It is even true in many respects that the qualifications for raising lots of campaign money and the qualifications for being a good legislator are mutually exclusive. One possible solution to this problem is for good candidates to decide not to spend excessively. Does this increase the risk of losing the election? Certainly it does. But a good legislator will aspire to do the right thing even though there may be negative political consequences. The same principle should apply to the campaigns. I will spend less than $500 on my campaign for State Senator for Chittenden County this year and I will neither solicit nor accept contributions. My primary expense is a Web site, vtsenate.com, where I provide information about my qualifications and positions relative to being a good senator. — Bruce D. Cunningham Burlington Cunningham is an independent candidate for the State Senate in Chittenden County. PROG LEADERSHIP CORRODING It should surprise no thoughtful Burlington activist that Peter Clavelle can give lip service to progressive politics in the safe environs of a party caucus, while publicly dirty dancing with Democrats to an oh-so-centrist tune. [Inside Track, July 19]. One has only to look at his record of dismantling the hard-won radical policies that were instituted in the early days of Progressive Burlington government to find proof of his faltering leadership down the path to liberalism. Those of us who care will not forget his betrayal of the activist women who tried to wrest the Women's Council from the unhappy tenure of an inept and unstable director, nor can we ignore his alliance with the Ward 5 Democratic duo of Keogh and Backus to kill affirmative action in this city. And of course there is his symbiotic attachment to Filene's, with its profit from the child and forced-labor garment industry. No, the entropy of the radical political movement in Burlington is no surprise, I guess, but who woulda thought it would corrode under the leadership of that brilliant Winooski River rat. — Virginia W i n n

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MISSING BIBLICAL POINT I was away f r o m V e r m o n t until mid-April. C o n s e q u e n t l y , I missed t h e pre-Statute i m b r o g l i o concerning t h e civil-union bill. However,

even now, it appears to be a highly visceral event. Let me add my nickel by wondering why the various Chittenden County pundits and journalists have missed a critical element of the debate. As is commonly known, many biblical admonitions are illegal, such as burning witches and epileptics. In addition, many biblical admonitions can be totally ignored and their disobedience is legally protected. Take, for example, the Ten Commandments. Our Bill of Rights, in defiance of the first commandment, establishes the right of a person to be an atheist, a pantheist or anything he chooses to be. The second, third and fourth commandments can be ignored, even flagrantly violated, with the full protection of the law. The fifth commandment is ignored by the child-abuse laws, which give the benefit of the doubt to the child. The sixth, eighth and ninth commandments (murder, theft and perjury) are paralleled to a large extent by existing criminal law. However, the seventh commandment is totally ignored. Those states which once criminalized adultery have had those laws abrogated, or they no longer enforce them. The tenth commandment is completely without merit and has no legal standing whatsoever. In fact, it is of more than passing interest as to why envy is prohibited and greed is not. Envy does not involve overt behavior, nor is it an act of volition. How can a hungry man not be envious of a man with a full plate? Does the hungry man deliberately decide to be envious? Is envy an act of free will? Now to my point. Why are the true believers so upset by the statute granting the civil union and yet so indifferent to all the statutes that protect an individual's right to totally disobey seven of the 10 commandments? Why are they so upset about same-sex "marriages" whilst indifferent to present law, which virtually condones adultery, which the Bible explicitly forbids? Is there more here than meets the eye? Is there a double standard at work? Was Freud right? — Raymond E. Leary Shelburne

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rian Lloyd was going 80 mph on a highway when his car stopped dead. Christine Chioffi dropped her car's gas tank going over a frost heave on a bitter winter day. Two police cruisers and a towtruck died heading up the mountain on their way to help her. But Lloyd and Chioffi still love their cars. They own Peugeots. Owners of other kinds of cars may boast about great gas mileage or powerful engines, but Peugeot drivers tend to brag about their worst breakdown experiences. Their tales are a lot like comedian Billy Crystal's schtick about his Jewish relatives competing for the worst health: "So. I've had the 24-hour virus going on three years," the first one says.

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"Humph. I was hospitalized with pneumonia eight times last winter," a second groans. And the third: "You think you have problems. I've been dead for two months." When it comes to loyalty, Peugeot owners are like the lion in the cars logo: mighty fierce. They continue to drive Peugeots despite the obstacles â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and perhaps because the car seems to be an endangered species. Peugeots haven't been imported to the U.S. since 1991, when the government banned them for failing to meet modern emissions standards. Hence, those still on the road tend to have odometers in the six figures. So what, then, is the car's appeal? The ride and handling, certainly. Tim Haley, dubbed "Mr. Peugeot" in his hometown of Tinmouth, declares, "When you get in, they feel right. It's like you're sitting in your living room." "There's not another car as capable and comfortable, including a Mercedes Wagon," weighs in David Miner, co-owner of the Village Pump House in Shelburne. "That's what hooks you. Drivers also like Peugeots stability. Haley's neighbors in Tunbridge generally drive Subarus and four-wheel-drive pickups. But, he notes proudly, he's the one who always gets through the tough roads there. Chioffi drives a lot for her job as a mechanical engineer and for ski patrol, she says, when other people aren't on the road. But when there's trouble, most regional owners of the persnickety French auto turn to Arlo

Cota, Jhead of Imposed Car Center in Williston. Peugeot owners speak with near reverence about the man who makes their rides smoother. "You can't go anywhere with a Peugeot unless you take Arlo with you," Miner says. Lloyd, who's been talking cars with Cota for years, says the mechanic "has all the makings of a great engineer, a great scientist and a great teacher" â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and his lessons are often communicated from great distances. Like Tom and Ray on National Public Radio's "Car Talk," Cota helps solves car problems by phone. He assures Peugeot owners that they can phone in from anywhere. "I get calls all the time from all parts of the country, and Mexico too," he says matter-offactly. Like an air traffic controller in made-for-TV movies who talks the non-pilot hero through landing a 757, Cota once assisted his uncle in Nevada, when the gentleman's '86 Peugeot diesel stopped in the middle of the desert. Listening to Cota talk about Peugeot history is like taking a senior seminar from everyone's favorite prof. The Cliff Notes version: Peugeot is the second-oldest car manufacturer in the world, after Mercedes-Benz. Sold worldwide in its prime, the car has great suspension, which makes it ideal for adverse driving conditions. French colonization made Peugeot the number-one car in Africa. The cars were a little too unique for most American consumers, however, as well as for many mechanics. For example, the ignition, window turners and gearshift are aligned "backwards."

When it comes to loyalty, Peugeot owners are like the lion in the car's logo: mighty fierce While a few dealers were importing French cars in the 1950s to sell domestically, most didn't carry parts. The cars came with Michelin tires and wheels lacking a hole in the center. If a Peugeot got a flat tire, its owner was flat out of luck. By the mid-1970s, Peugeot made changes that brought the car more into sync with American tastes. Interest in the car blossomed, peaking in 1984 with 24,000 cars sold in the U.S. It was during this period that Cota became a Peugeot dealer in Vermont, and his business blossomed, too. By 1989, with 400 sales a year, he was the secondlargest dealer in the country. Filling that niche was a result of equal parts passion, research and default. After leaving the service in 1969, Cota had taken a job as a mechanic for British-made cars at Almartin Volvo in Shelburne. Since most owners put their M G s and Austin Healeys away after the summer, Almartin kept him busy repairing the Renaults and Peugeots they sold. T h e more Cota worked on them, the more he found the Peugeot to be a "mechanical treat." In 1986, seven years after he opened his own shop, Cota took his love of the auto a step further and began to race it successfully. As followers of the sport learned about him across the country, Cota was inspired to launch a national wholesale business in Peugeot parts. "Notoriety and $12 a month for an ad in Hemming's Motor News," he says, "buys me a lot of business." Cota still raves about Peugeots supple suspension, the well-built engines, the incredible comfort, the seats that were ahead of their time and the car's amazing performance. H e admires just as much the people who drive them. "They have character," he observes, "the same way their cars do." Indeed, Peugeot owners seem a breed apart. "Peugeots appeal to people who love cars," posits Haley, "and those who don't step to the leader of the band." W h e n Lloyd got his Peugeot diesel wagon in 1988, it seemed to fulfill some personal myth. "It was an elegant car," he recalls. "I imagined that I could wax it and go to the White House in it, like a visiting dignitary." Owners often attribute human traits to their Peugeots. "The cars have personalities," insists Haley. His own relatively problem-free experiences with a succession of seven Peugeots is a

result of being "kind" to them, he claims. He describes his 1989 505 with a V6 as "a sweet one." O n the other hand, Chioffi, who has spent a lot of time at the dealership this month, calls her car "an alpha bitch." Anthropomorphizing their cars is not the only sign of affection from Peugeot owners, though. Lloyd compares the vehicle to "a good glass of red Zinfandel." Stories about getting or driving their first Peugeots often sound like the recollection of one's initial sexual encounter. Lloyd's "first time" was in 1964, when his father said he would buy him a car as a college graduation gift. Acknowledging that Dad had already shouldered the school bills, Lloyd searched local used-car lots for the least expensive model he could find. He discovered a Peugeot 403 in the back of a lot, partially hidden by leaves. Its selling price: $400. T h e car seemed to say to him, "Take me off the lot." Haley's '85 Peugeot wagon called out to him too, sitting with a "For Sale" sign in a Macy's parking lot in Albany, New York. T h e young owner explained that it wasn't cool for a college kid to be seen in a station wagon. Haley bought the wagon for $2700, invested $1500 in repairs and still drives it today. T h e odometer boasts 230,000 miles. In the cult of Peugeot fanatics, a family's size is often measured by the number of Peugeots it owns, with the cars being viewed as offspring. O r pets — Haley named his 505 "Matilda," after his family's beloved English bulldog. Facing an impending move, Stewart Lacasse of Huntington sold his 405S to a "Peugeot-loving family" in Shelburne, with the kind of concern one might reserve for a beloved, but not particularly adaptable, cat. But what about those infamous breakdowns? Cota believes the majority of Peugeots work well, saying some problems are to be expected with older cars. After all, the average Peugeot he services has logged at least 150,000 miles. As the cars age and die out — and with no new imports arriving — Peugeots will probably disappear from the U.S. market eventually. T h a t will make for a lot of mourning among Burlington-area owners. " W h e n the day comes that I have to switch from a Peugeot to some other car," vows*Haley, "I'll need to see a therapist." ®

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lmost every study of suburban sprawl leads to discussion of auto "alternatives" — light rail, buses, streetcars and bikes are all thought to be effective alleviators of traffic congestion. But not too many cities are willing to put their money where their motors are. Enter Burlington — on two wheels. Officials in the car capital of Vermont are hoping a newly created job at the Department of Public Works will mark the beginning of the end of our fossil-fueled frustrations. Progressive City Councilor Chapin Spencer says he'd like to see the number of bicycle trips taken in Burlington between April and November doubled over the next five years. "We need to get people used to the idea that it's safe to ride on the street," he says. "We must show the romance of cycling," he adds. "It's practical, it's fun, it's whimsical." T h e effectiveness of the city's bicycle initiative may rely on the drive and ingenuity of Hugh Brady, the city's new bicyclepedestrian coordinator. Before his move to Vermont, the quicktongued Texan with an affable style and grassroots sensibilities spent four years working for a Democratic state legislator. There he was responsible for making transportation policy consistent with smart urban growth — including securing funding for bike paths and first-time sidewalks in Austin. Brady is now the point person to help transform Burlington from car-centric to people-powered — the man both city engineers and citizens can go to with

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questions about how to accommodate the bicycle. Among his goals will be to make it safe and easy for residents to choose a bike, or any alternative, over a car. Brady believes the Queen City is a good place to challenge auto-addiction. "This is a vibrant cycling c o m m u n i t y . . . people are dedicated to the bicycle as a form of transportation," he says. "What they need is someone to listen to them and say, 'I will show you how to navigate the bureaucratic maze of getting something accomplished.' That's the value of this position, to empower bicyclists." Brady's appointment indicates a significant new emphasis in city transportation policy. Bicycle routes and walkways were once incidental to the design of roads; now they will be a requirement, except when narrow roads or safety issues make it impossible. T h e Department of Public Works never has had any written policy regarding bikes, according to Brady. In the past, when roads were designed, it was assumed bicycles would share the road with cars, trucks and buses.

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Y O U N G ARTISTS C O N C E R T : See July 31, Rams Head Lodge, Killington, 7:30 p.m. VILLAGE HARMONY: See August 1, Church on the Common, Craftsbury, 7:30 p.m. V E R M O N T M O Z A R T FESTIVAL: Tenor Robert White gives voice to song cycles by Poulenc and Beethoven. Grand Isle Lake House, 7:30 p.m. $20. Info. 800-639-9097. J O H N T H A D E : The popular tenor sings hits from "Broadways golden age" to benefit the restoration of the Vergennes Opera House, 7:30 p.m. $10. Info, 877-6737 ' S U M M E R M U S I C AT GRACE': The Matthews Duo plays flute and guitar works by Bach and Piazzolla. Grace Church, Sheldon, $4-6. Info, 933-4083.

art • Also, see exhibit openings in the art listings. FIGURE DRAWING: See July 26.

words 'PERFORMANCES IN T H E PARK': See July 26. In the Fall author Jeffrey Lent reads after a country concert by Sherri s Jubilee. POETRY READING: Read, relax and respond at this open reading. Rhombus Gallery, 186 College St., Burlington, .8 p.m. $3-6. Info, 865-0569. V E R M O N T WRITERS B O O K G R O U P : Readers examine Dorothy Canfield Fisher's portrayal of the state in The Home-Maker. North Hero Public Library, 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 372-5458. V E R M O N T WRITERS SERIES: Author and adventurer Marty Basch reads from Against the Wind, a chronicle of his 3000-mile bike trip to the Arctic Circle. Basin Harbor Club, Vergennes, 8:30 p.m. Free. Info, 475-2311.

drama 'IT'S A G R A N D N I G H T FOR S I N G I N G ' : See July 26. 'FIDDLER O N T H E R O O F : See July 26. ' T H E T H R E E P E N N Y OPERA': See July 26, 3 & 8 p.m. ' M U R D E R O N T H E NILE': See July 27. ' S O M E T H I N G IN T H E AIR': See July 27.

educated about financial aid, transferring credits and on-line courses. Miller Information Commons, Champlain College, Burlington, 4-7 p.m. Info, 860-2777. REIKI CLINIC: Practitioners of all levels learn about the hands-on healing method. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 7-9 p.m. Free. Info, 864-9988. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT I N T R O SESSION: Mediators-in-the making get a feel for classes at Woodbury College, Montpelier, 9 a.m. - noon. Free. Register, 800-639-6039. ESSEX HISTORY TALK: Two local historians revive the past of the lakeside village across from Charlotte. BeldonNoble Library, Essex, N.Y., 7:30 p.m. Free. Info, 963-7226. D O G T R A I N I N G SEMINAR: Learn about methods of positive reinforcement for training pooches at the Upper Valley Humane Society, Enfield, N.H., 7:30-8:30 p.m. Free. Register, 603-443-5594.

Calendar is written by C H I L D R E N ' S C O N C E R T : See July 26.

are compiled by Lucy

STORYTIME: See July 26. V E R M O N T EXPOS STORYTIME: The home team cheers on literacy efforts while players read aloud. S. Burlington Community Library, 1111:30 a.m. Free. Info, 652-7080.

'MIFUNE': Look for handheld cameras and natural light in this Dogma 95 movie about a Danish businessman who returns home to care for his mentally disabled brother. Spaulding Auditorium, Hopkins Center, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6:45 tk 9:30 p.m. $6. Info, 603-646-2422.

Gwenn Garland. Classes

sport

Howe. All submissions are due in writing on the Thursday before publication. SEVEN DAYS edits for space and style. Send to:

V E R M O N T EXPOS: See July 26. The New Jersey Cardinals are up tonight.

SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1 1 6 4 , Burlington, VT

etc HEALTH LECTURE: See July 26. C O N T I N U I N G EDUCATION O P E N HOUSE: Adult learners get

0 5 4 0 2 - 1 1 6 4 . Or fax 8 0 2 8 6 5 - 1 0 1 5 . Email: calendar@sevendaysvt.com

U N I V E R S I T Y

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BI3CK £ HORSE supply Holbein Paint Sales - 50% Off! Special Good Through August 2th, 2000. Black Horse Will Be Closed August 3,4 & 5 to Help Run the North American Art Event Store at the Hampton Inn in Colchester, VT. Call John or Come By For Details and Your Free Art Event Brochure. The Art Event Includes Many Three Hour Workshops & Demonstrations Taught By Some of the Very Best Teachers in North America Today.

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SECONDS SALE, a sale of handcrafted works by Vermont artists to benefit the gallery. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Middlebury, 388-4074. July 28 & 29, 9:30 a.m. - 5 p.m. KAREN KARNES & FRIENDS, a pottery show and sale by 23 contemporary clay artists. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 244-1126. Reception/preview July 28, 5-9 p.m. Sale July 29, 10 a.m. - 6 p.m. and July 30, noon 5 p.m. PALETTEERS' 43RD ANNUAL ART SHOW, paintings by local artists. Barre Opera House, 485-7414. July 27, 10 a.m. 6 p.m. July 28, 9 a.m. - 8 p.m. July 29, 9 a.m. - 5:30 p.m. FIGURES, works in photography, sculpture and painting by Kevin Bubriski, Suzanne Kissell, Steve Soper, Carole Murphy and Patricia Vincent. Chaffee Center for the Visual Arts, Rutland, 775-0356. Reception July 28, 5-8 p.m.

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LAND AND LIGHT, landscape paintings by New England artists. Mary Bryan Memoria* Gallery, Jeffersonville, 6445100. Reception honoring founder . Alden Bryan July 30, 4-6 p.m. MOON ON THE LAKE, watercolors and acrylics by Chris Newhart. Pickering Room, Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 865-7211. Reception August 2, 4-7 p.m.

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VIA BURLINGTON, BRAZIL & THE BRONX, painting and sculpture by Latino artists Hector Anchundia, Amaru Chiza, Mauricio Muniz, Edinelson Ramirez and Alejandro Torrens. FlynnDog, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 2 2 2 7 . Through August. FORESTS AND WATERFALLS, paintings by Nicole G. D'Agata. Burlington College Art Gallery, 635-1775. Through August 25. TESTAS, works in mixed media by Juan Perdiguero. Doll-Anstadt Gallery, Burlington, 864-3661. August 1-31. LIVING WITH THE TRICKSTER, paintings by Sophie Quest. Metropolitan Gallery, Burlington City Hall, 865-7166. Through July 28. NEW WORKS FROM HOWARD COMMUNITY SERVICES, drawings, paintings and sculpture/constructions by artists in GRACE workshops. Union Station, Burlington, 4 7 2 - 6 8 5 7 . Through August 9. NORTHEAST COLLAGE & ASSEMBLAGE SHOW, works by area artists. Rose Street Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 2 - 3 6 5 4 . Through August 5. MATTHEW THORSEN, new color photographs. Rhombus Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 3 1 4 4 . Through July. H. KEITH WAGNER, two- and threedimensional assemblages. Grannis Gallery, Burlington, 864-0010. Through July. ETHEREAL RENDERINGS, compositions of the female nude by Dana Carlson. ArtSpace 150 at the Men's Room, Burlington, 8 6 4 - 2 0 8 8 . Through July. A BIRD'S EYE VIEW, wood carvings by Gary Starr. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Burlington, 863-6458. Through July 30. CHERYL BETZ, new oil paintings. DollAnstadt Gallery, Burlington, 8643661. Through July.

JULIE RAE CARRIGAN, a show of photography and silent poetry, entitled "Love and Sexual Nature on a Hallucinatory Nexus of Terror." Muddy Waters, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 0 4 8 7 . Through July. SEPARATE/TOGETHER, paintings, drawings and prints by Wolf Kahn and Emily Mason. Fleming Museum, Burlington, 6 5 6 - 0 7 5 0 . Through September 10. MULTIPLE EXPOSURES, photography by Linda Bryan, Jean Carlson Masseau, Jeff Clarke, Sally McCay, Nina Parris, P. R.-Smith, Fred Stetson and Matthew Thorsen. FlynnDog Gallery, Burlington, 652-9985. Through July 29. ARTHUR HYNES, portrait photos, and PETER HARRIS, an installation piece in progress. Firehouse Center for the Visual Arts, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 7 1 6 6 . Through July. MYLARIUM, an installation by Henry Huston. One-Wall Gallery, Seven Days, Burlington, 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 . Through August. SUNDOGS/MOONSHADOWS, a group show of works in mixed media. Furchgott Sourdiffe Gallery, Shelburne, 9 8 5 - 3 8 4 8 . Through August 1. MARGARET CHRISTENSEN, paintings and journals by the "outsider" artist. Fleming Museum, UVM, Burlington, 6 5 6 - 0 7 5 0 . Through September 17. MELISSA CONNOR and MR. MASTERPIECE, paintings, and MICHAEL SIPE, photography. Through July. HEATHER WARD and MATTHEW THORSEN, photography, and LARISSA PARSLEY, comic art. August 1-31. Daily Planet, Burlington, 8 6 2 - 3 7 7 9 . CHINESE CHILDREN'S ART, scrolls, watercolors and mixed-media works by Chinese schoolchildren. Pickering Room. WOMEN SPIRIT, pastels by Sue

Bahr, Fletcher Room. Fletcher Free Library, Burlington, 8 6 5 - 7 2 1 1 . Through July 30. THE SATURDAY EVENING POST AND AMERICA'S GREAT ILLUSTRATORS, cover illustrations by Norman Rockwell and others. Through December 3. GATHER •ROUND: TALES OF NEW ENGLAND'S WORK-A-DAY WORLD, oral histories and visual tableaux. Through October 15. Also, THE FABULOUS '50S: WELCOME HOME TO POST-WAR VERMONT, the museum's newest historic house, depicting a Vermont family in 1950; SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW: Continuity and Change in American Furniture and Decorative Arts, 17001820; FROM GEORGE WASHINGTON TO P.T. BARNUM, prints; and LANDSCAPE & LIGHT, paintings by Martin Johnson Heade. Shelburne Museum, 9 8 5 3 3 4 8 . Ongoing. RICK SUTTA, oil paintings "with impact." Rick Sutta Gallery, Burlington, 8 6 0 - 7 5 0 6 . Ongoing.

SEAN CALLAHAN, watercolors, and HENRIETTE LERNER, oil wax pastels and watercolor collages. Ferrisburgh Artisans Guild, 8 7 7 - 9 9 4 2 . Through August 23. TIME HONORED, an exhibit of works by Vermont artist couples. Frog Hollow Vermont State Craft Center, Middlebury, 3 8 8 - 3 1 7 7 . Through July. NINE VERMONT ALUMNI ARTISTS, prints and paintings by Middlebury College graduates. Sheldon Museum, Middlebury, 3 8 8 - 2 1 1 7 . Through July 29. 13 ALUMNI ARTISTS, a juried exhibition of sculpture, painting, photography and installation art by prominentcollege alumni. Johnson Memorial Gallery, Middlebury College Museum of Art, 4 4 3 - 5 0 0 7 . Through December 10. 32ND ANNUAL SENIOR STUDIO ART MAJORS SHOW, work in all mediums by graduating students. Middlebury College Museum of Art, Upper Gallery, 4 4 3 - 5 0 0 7 . Through August 13. SIGNALS AND MESSAGES: CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF GRACE, featuring the works of nine artists in the Grass Roots Art and Community Effort program. Vermont Folklife Center, Middlebury, 3 8 8 - 4 9 6 4 . Through August 12.

JO STEINHURST, Oriental brush paintings. Burlington Bagel Bakery, Montpelier, 2 2 3 - 5 7 0 8 . August 1 - 3 1 . MARTHA DAGHLIAN, figurative drawings in pastels. Vermont Arts Council, Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 5 0 5 9 . Through August. KINDRED SPIRITS, sculptures by Fred Brownstein and paintings by Stella Ehrich. Carving Studio & Sculpture Center Gallery, W. Rutland, 4 3 8 2 0 9 7 . Through August 13. LINDA HOGAN, pastels, and AMY HUNTINGTON, watercolors. Mist Grill Gallery, Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 2 2 3 3 . Through August 28. WALDORF STUDENT ART, watercolors and drawings by kids in kindergarten through eighth grade. Bristol Bakery, 9 8 5 - 2 8 2 7 . Through July. A ROMAN GARDEN/AMERICAN LANDSCAPES, oil paintings by Lucy Clink. Chandler Gallery, Randolph, 7289 8 7 8 . Through August 6. ART IN THE SUPREME COURT, paintings by Adelaide Murphy Tyrol and photos by Richard Murphy. Vermont Supreme Court, Montpelier, 8 2 8 3 2 7 8 . Through July 22. H20: WATER AS A THEME IN ART, installations, paintings, sculpture and photography with the theme of water, Main Gallery. Also, THE VERMONT WATERCOLOR SOCIETY, an exhibit of watercolor paintings, South Gallery. T.W. Wood Art Gallery, Vermont College, Montpelier, 8 2 8 - 8 7 4 3 . Through July. I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM, handmade ice cream dishes. August 2-31. Also, FORMING WITH FLOW AND FANTASY, functional and sculptural pottery by Ken Pick. Vermont Clay Studio, Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 1 1 2 6 . Through July 27. 19TH-CENTURY PRINTS FROM THE PERMANENT COLLECTION, featuring etchings and engravings by Thomas Waterman Wood. T.W. Wood Gallery,

Montpelier, 8 2 8 - 8 7 4 3 . Through July 30. VERMONT HAND CRAFTERS: Work by local artisans. Vermont By Design Gal lory, Waterbury, 2 4 4 - 7 5 6 6 . Ongoing. SCRAP-BASED ARTS & CRAFTS, featuring re-constructed objects of all kinds by area artists. The Restore, Montpelier, 2 2 9 - 1 9 3 0 . Ongoing. ALICE ECKLES, paintings and mixed media. Old School House, Marshfield, 4 5 6 - 8 9 9 3 . Ongoing.

ALTOON SULTAN, landscapes in oil and egg tempera. Clarke Galleries, Stowe, 2 5 3 - 7 1 1 6 . Through August 2. EXPOSED, an exhibit of outdoor sculptures by contemporary artists. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 2 5 3 - 8 3 5 8 . Through October 15. BALLET COSTUME DESIGNS by Angela Whitehall in photographs, watercolor and gouache. Julian Scott Memorial Gallery, Johnson State College, 6351386. Through August 6. JACOB WALKER ART GALLERY, a co-op featuring the works of the Northern Vermont Artists Association. Morristown Corners, Rt. 100. No phone. Through October 15. WETLANDS/MAPLES, acrylics by Lorraine C. Manley. Sugar Mill Art Gallery, St. Albans, 5 2 7 - 0 0 4 2 . Through August. 19TH AND 20TH CENTURY AMERICAN ARTISTS, including landscape paintings by Vermont artists Kathleen Kolb, Thomas Curtin, Cynthia Price and more. Ongoing. LIQUID FIRE: THE ART OF GLASS, handblown glass by 18 "hot glass" regional artists, and FROM THE CREATIVE COMMUNITY, artworks by the staff of the Vermont Studio Center. Helen Day Art Center, Stowe, 2 5 3 - 8 3 5 8 . Through August 27. SACRED BUFFALO, a buffalo skeleton carved with scenes from Lakota Sioux traditions. Fairbanks Museum, St. Johnsbury, 7 4 8 - 2 3 7 2 . Through August. SMALL PICTURES EXHIBITION, works by member artists. Through August 20. Mary Bryan Memorial Gallery, Jeffersonville, 6 4 4 - 5 1 0 0 . FOUR AWARD-WINNING ARTISTS, Livy Hitchcock, Julie Y. Baker Albright, Carolyn Walton and Mark Tougias. Vermont Fine Art Gallery, Stowe, 2 5 3 - 9 6 5 3 . Through July.

MARITIME MISCELLANY, featuring cartoon drawings by Sid Couchey and photos by Jill Schoenfeld. Cupola House Gallery, Essex, N.Y., 5 1 8 - 9 6 3 7 4 9 4 . Through August 14. PIPILOTTI RIST, video installations. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Benaiah Gibb Pavilion, 5 1 4 - 2 8 5 1600. Through August 6. THE ART OF CRAFT, Expressive Works by New Hampshire and Vermont Artists. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6 0 3 - 6 4 6 - 2 8 0 8 . Through September 17. FROM RENOIR TO PICASSO, masterpieces from the Musee de I'Orangerie. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 5 1 4 - 2 8 5 - 1 6 0 0 . Through October 15. FROM BOUCHER TO VUILLARD: French Master Drawings from the Mrs. Marjorie Bronfman Collection, including works from the 16th century to the 1930s. Montreal Museum of Fine Arts, Jean-Noel Desmarais Pavilion, 5 1 4 - 2 8 5 - 1 6 0 0 . Through September 3. COMPLETING THE PICTURE: HATS, FASHION AND FINE ART, paintings, photographs and mannequins featuring millinery fashions from 18201930. Hood Museum of Art, Dartmouth College, Hanover, N.H., 6 0 3 - 6 4 6 - 2 8 0 8 . Through September 24. PLEASE NOTE: Seven Days is unable to accommodate all of the displays in our readership area, thus these listings must be restricted to exhibits in truly public viewing places. Art in business offices, lobbies and private residences or studios, with occasional exceptions, will not be accepted. Send, your listings to galleries@sevendaysvt.com.

Piece BY MARC AWODEY

urlington artist Art Blue began making collage art with scissors at the age of seven, so it's fair to say that the artist, now 39, has had a lifelong interest in the medium. When invited to become northeastern coordinator lor the National Collage & Assemblage Society, Blue went one step further and founded a new chapter of the organization. Sensibly designated the Northeast Collage & Assemblage Society, its first annual juried exhibit is now on display at Burlington's Rose Street Gallery. While collage and its three-dimensional cousin, assemblage, are among the most dynamic media in contemporary art', two small-scale works demonstrating fairly traditional approaches garnered first prize and Best m'Show in this exhibit. Top honors went to Eric Kidhardt, a University of Vermont grad now entering his second year at the School of Visual Arts in New York City. His "Medium Grit" focuses on a beach scene using a 1940s mass-media image of a couple strolling near a shore. Kidhardt added elements reminiscent of the Dadaist roots of collage, including a large men's shoe creeping into the image from the lower left corner. Best in Show was awarded to Riva Leviten of Providence, Rhode Island. Her "Twist of Fate" is a black-and-white Xeroxed collage dominated by images of gears and other mechanical elements. These are combined into an angled composition with empty, dark borders that contrast the complex inner workings of the collage. A show of this scope inevitably presents many approaches to the medium. Chicago artist Kim Rae Taylor submitted a heavily lacquered piece, "Media I," on a 14-inch section of plank. Her image is wholly abstract, including painted areas and strips of film. "Mystery Code," by Rick Hayes of South Burlington, also combines paint and collaged images — in this case themes associated with horse racing. After some deciphering of these interlocking red, yellow and purple hues, it becomes clear that the title of Hayes' "piece is also the name of a race horse. Thus both

"Dig," by Sharon Webster referential paintings. It is a somber abstraction dominated by fields of thick black acrylic. Negative spaces between the canvasses, and interior stain-painted areas of cerulean blue and raw umber, seem to accentuate rather than relieve the looming darkness of the image. Among the most successful assemblage works in the show are "Dig," by Sharon Webster of Burlington, and "Woman with Hat," by Gary Hamel of Orange, New Hampshire. Webster's work is a yellow rubber glove stuffed with cotton and suspended in a wooden box. Galvanized nails are driven through the sides of the box, and soil is pressed beneath a sheet of Plexiglas, which makes up its back wall. The contrasting textures and unmodified colors are original by virtue of their simplicity.

With the advent

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color Xeroxing, collage has

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horse and artwork were entered into a competition. Two larger-scaled works combine collage and assemblage in intriguing triptychs. "Voyeur," by Denver, Colorado, artist Michael Dahl, consists of a precisely sliced black-and-white image of open windows and a skyline adhered to a set of three Venetian blinds. In each window is a figure, most of them early 20th-century images of partially nude women — such as those from the notorious French postcards of that era. Completely closing the blinds would paradoxically allow each window to be seen more clearly.

Hamel's "Woman with Hat" is a free-standing collection of delicate tin objects and the Daguerreotype of a 19th-century woman nailed to a short, weathered square post. Both Webster and Hamel have avoided the usual Joseph Cornellinspired doll heads, shards of glass and other cliches that often haunt assemblage artists.

a golden age.

Tinka Martell of Fairfax, Vermont, presents a singular "Untitled" work from three shaped canvasses that include collage scraps of other nofS-

With the advent of computers, scanners and color Xeroxing, collage has surely entered a golden age. This show attracted more than 80 entries from as far afield as New Zealand. Plans for the second annual juried exhibit are already underway. W i t h the <fy namism of its media, and its international scope, the Northeast Collage & Assemblage Society Show may well become one of Vermont's most important annual art events in the new millennium. ® , . .

1st Annual Northeast Collage & Assemblage Society Show. Rose Street Gallery, Burlington. Through August 5. ,

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BENEATH THEM Pfeiffer, Ford and their audience deserve better than derivative grab-bag of joybuzzer jolts and haunted house cliches.

WHAT LIES BENEATH**

Thumbs Up!" - R o g e r Ebert & The Movies

O u r visitors from Hollywood must have been distracted by the beauty of the Vermont countryside last summer because, let's face it, neither the Farrelly brothers nor Robert Zemeckis did anything approaching their best work within our borders. Me, Myself & Irene was uneven and has performed well below expectations at the box office. To put things in appropriate perspective, though: Next to the new film from Zemeckis, the latest from the Farrellys looks like Citizen Kane. M e m o to Zemeckis (and Brian De Palma, Gus Van Sant, et al.): Spare us the self-conscious, labored Hitchcock imitating. T h e thing about masters is, their vision, talent and individual style can't be Xeroxed, and all your overwrought attempts to fill the fat man's shoes only serve to underscore his superiority as a cinematic artist.

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O f course, in What Lies Beneath, Zemeckis isn't content to parrot just Hitchcock. The movie's early scenes suggest the story's going to pivot on Vermont housewife Michelle Pfeiffer's suspicions with regard to the odd behavior of her nextdoor neighbor and the sudden disappearance of his wife. Husband Harrison Ford plays the Grace Kelly role in the Rear Window reference, reacting with disapproval and skepticism to his wife's judgmental peeping. This is a Hitchcock reference-withina-reference because, in truth, the story is about to veer off in a completely different direction, just as it did in Psycho, which started off as a deceptively straightforward heist saga. That's as clever as things get, I'm afraid. T h e rest is a stunningly banal grab-bag of cliches and * joy-buzzer devices borrowed

from far less significant works, such as Friday the 13th, Halloween, Fatal Attraction and a forgettable (at least Zemeckis hopes you've forgotten it) 1981 tale of revenge from beyond the grave called Ghost Story. T h e idea is, the two have just shipped their daughter off to college and at long last have their fabulous lakeside house all to themselves. O r do they? Pfeiffer

Beneath. T h e only jolts come in the form of cheap, B-movie stunts — someone turns around and — y i k e s l — a person is standing there. But it's O K , he's a friend. O r — yikes! — a door just opened and someone's coming in! But never mind, it's just the family dog. And so on. The end of" the picture is, in fact, its most shamelessly derivative and tired, trick-packed stretch. I won't tell you who, but Person A is chasing Person B around the place and this trying to kill him/her. W h e n Person A is apparently killed and, a few seconds later, Person B looks down to the spot where his/her body should be, it has of course vanished. W h e n apparently dead Person A is lying motionless on the floor moments later and Person B tip-toes by, the camera zooms in on Person As eyes as, naturally, they pop open. After Person A has lost even more blood much later, he/she is still pursuing Person B miles

Memo to Zemeckis (and Bri De Palma, Gus Van Sant, et aL are us the self-conscious,

begins having the kind of eerie experiences spooky movie heroines have had for decades — pictures fall from shelves repeatedly, doors open and shut mysteriously, radios turn on and off by themselves, a dead woman appears in a bathroom mirror, etc. And, like decades of heroines before her, Pfeiffer reacts by a) not mentioning most of these things to anyone; b) not moving away at once; and c) actually spending more time home alone. T h e trailer and T V ads make clear that Ford's character had a brief affair with the deceased, and that the dead babe at some point returns from the great beyond to take possession of Pfeiffer's body, so the only surprise awaiting audiences really consists of the ghost's purpose in paying her visit. Now, let's see. W h a t are our options here? H m m m , it can't be that obvious, can it? O h , but it can. Especially if you've seen Ghost Story. T h e principle gimmick is lifted pretty much verbatim. I think most of the audience is going to be surprised by very little in What Lies

away with undiminished — possibly even heightened — physical stamina and dexterity, though Person B got in a vehicle and drove miles away from Person A at top speed. If you didn't know better, you'd be likely to guess the identity of our mystery guest as that of Halloween's Michael Myers, or the indestructible hockey-head from all those Friday the 13th films. But no. He/she's just borrowing from their moldy bag of tricks. I try to imagine what someone as accomplished as Robert Zemeckis might have been thinking as he lashed together this haphazard, lurching, logic-free patchwork of silliness and, as I do, I hear the voice of the best-known character in the director's best-known work suggesting that life is like a box of chocolates and that, when you reach in, you just never know what you're going to get. W h a t we get from Zemeckis this time is nutty, lacking in distinctive flavor and, despite all its packaging, far — very, very far — from fresh. ®

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Directed by Mary (Pet Sematary) Lambert. (PG-13) THOMAS AND THE MAGIC RAILROAD Alec LOSER*** No one knows youth culture Baldwin stars in this big-screen verand young love like Amy (Fast Times at sion of the popular childrens' show Ridgemont High, Clueless) Heckerling. about a loveable tank engine. Britt Her latest concerns a Midwestern nerd Allcroft directs. Peter Fonda costars. who moves to New York to attend col(G) lege and promptly falls head over THE NUTTY PROFESSOR 2: THE KLUMPS heels for a classmate. The problem is Has anyone outside the porn industry she's head over heels in love with their spent more t i m e in rubber than Eddie professor. Jason Biggs, Mena Suvari Murphy? The comedian slops the stuff and Greg Kinnear star. (PG-13) on again for this sequel, in which the POKEMON THE MOVIE 2 0 0 0 * * " 2 The good doctor attempts to rid himself of Japanimation juggernaut thunders on, his alter-ego by altering his own DNA. this t i m e introducing six new products Mostly though, it's all just an excuse — I mean Pokemon characters — and for Murphy to pile on layer after layer pitting Ash and Pikachu against a of latex and play m u l t i p l e oversized, force that seeks their destruction. overbearing members of the family Parents everywhere perhaps? (G) Klump. Peter (Tommy Boy) Segal DISNEY'S THE KID** Remember the directs. (PG-13) cool moment toward the end of 12 SUNSHINE Ralph Fiennes plays three Monkeys when Bruce Willis encounters — count 'em, three — different roles a much younger version of himself? in Istvan (Mephisto) Szabo's threeWell, executives at Disney evidently hour look at five generations in the decided it was so cool the premise history of one Hungarian family. (R) merited an entire movie — and a comedy at that. Willis plays a 40-year-old jerk who learns to lighten up with a little help from his inner eight -year-old, * = REFUND, PLEASE who somehow manages to get out. ** = COULD'VE BEEN WORSE, BUT NOT A LOT Spencer Breslin costars. Jon *** = HAS ITS MOMENTS; SO-SO **** = SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR (Phenomenon) Turteltaub directs. X-MEN***" 2 Patrick Stewart stars in ***** = AS GOOD AS IT GETS this $ 7 5 million big-screen version of the blockbuster Marvel comic-book EAST IS EAST***" 2 Om (My Son the series about a professor and his band Fanatic) Puri plays a Pakistani father of merry, evil-fighting mutants. With struggling to raise his seven kids right, Ian McKellen and Rebecca Romijnin this widely praised production set in Stamos. (PG-13) the 7 0 s . (R) THE PERFECT STORM***" 2 Mark SCARY MOVIE***" 2 Director Keenen Wahlberg and George Clooney reteam Ivory Wayans attempts to break the for Wolfgang Petersen's deep-sea satire barrier with this parody of teen adaptation of the Sebastian Junger horror f i l m s like Scream. Which, of best-seller about a boatload of fishercourse, was itself a parody in the first men who run head on into a Force 12 place. Marlon Wayans and Shawn gale off the coast of Newfoundland. Wayans costar. (PG-13) THE IN CROWD**" 2 Lori Heuring stars

shirts

in this umpteenth tale of an unsuspecting twentysomething who gains entry into a circle of friends who are priviledged and good-looking only to discover they're also pure evil.

ME, MYSELF & IRENE*** Jim Carrey plays good cop-bad cop without any help from anyone, as a split personality in the latest laugher from the Farrelly brothers. Renee Zellweger costars as

KW the woman he finds arresting. (R) THE PATRIOT***"2 From the guys who gave us Independence Day comes this Revolutionary War-era saga about a retired war hero who dusts off the ol' musket when his son is captured by Redcoats. Mel Gibson and Heath Ledger star. (R) CHICKEN RUN** The vocal stylings of Mel Gibson and Miranda Richardson are featured in this clay-animated adventure about a barnyard revolution from the Oscar-winning creators of "Wallace and Gromit." Peter Lord and Nick Park direct. (G) U - 5 7 1 * * * " 2 Directed and cowritten by Jonathan (Breakdown) Mostow, this effects-stuffed WWII adventure concerns the plight of nine American soldiers who board a German sub to steal a spy device and then find themselves trapped on it, with a U-boat on its way to rescue them. With Matthew McConaughey, Harvey Keitel, Jon Bon Jovi and Bill Paxton. (PG-13) KEEPING THE FAITH***" 2 Ed Norton makes his directorial debut with, and costars in, this comedy about two men of the cloth who worship the ground Jenna Elfman walks on. Ben Stiller costars. (PG-13) THE ADVENTURES OF ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE**" 2 Everybody's favorite moose and squirrel make the leap to the big screen in this animation-live action combo that features Jason Alexander, Rene Russo and Robert De Niro as well as the vocal stylings of June Foray, who provided the voice of Rocky in the original '60s series. (PG) ANTZ (NR) In the first of the year's two — count 'em: two — animated bug sagas, Woody Allen provides the voice of a drone who longs for both a more independent life and a female ant played by Sharon Stone. With additional vocal stylings courtesy of Sylvester Stallone, Jane Curtain and Christopher Walken. (PG) ROAD TRIP***" 2 Tom Green and Breckin Meyer play college roommates on a mission from God when one of

them accidentally mails his long-distance girlfriend a video of him having sex with someone else, the two embark on a cross-country race to intercept the package, and Green, for some reason, eats a live mouse. Andy Dick costars. (R)

DROWNING MONA**" 2 Bette Midler, Danny DeVito, Neve Campbell and Jamie Lee Curtis join forces for a farce about a woman so obnoxious a whole town comes under suspicion when she turns up dead. Nick Gomez directs. (PG-13)

new on video

THE BEACH*** The Blue Lagoon meets Lord of the Flies in the latest from Trainspotting director Danny Boyle, the story of an American drifter who travels to a tropical island in search of paradise, but finds a world of trouble instead. Leonardo DiCaprio and Virginie Ledoyen star. (R)

MAGNOLIA***"2 Paul Thomas Anderson's follow-up to Boogie Nights is a multiple-story, Altmanesque study of a San Fernando Valley family and the several levels on which it is falling apart. William H. Macy, Julianne Moore, Tom Cruise and Jason Robards star. (R)

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film features

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College Street, Burlington, 8 6 3 - 9 5 1 5 .

Williston Road, S. Burlington, 863-4494.

Wednesday

26 — thursday

X-Men 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. Scary Movie 12:45, 2:45, 5, 7:30, 10. The Perfect Storm 12:25, 3:20, 6:30, 9:40. Chicken Run 12:10, 2, 4:20, 6:30, 8:45. Me, Myself and Irene 1, 3 : 4 0 , 7:15, 9:40. The Patriot 3, 6:20, 9:30.

friday 28 — tuesday

26 — thursday

friday 28 — tuesday

Sunshine* 4:30, 8:10. In Crowd 12, 2:15. What Lies Beneath 12:55, 3:40, 6:45, 9:50. X-Men 12:10, 2:25, 4:40, 7.10, 9:20. Scary Movie 12:35, 2:45, 5, 7:30, 10. The Perfect Storm 12:25, 3:20, 6:30, 9:40. The Patriot 2, 6:20, 9:30.

CINEMA NINE

Shaft 12:10, 2:30, 4:40, 6:50, 9:45. Disney's The Kid 12, 2:15, 4:35, 7, 9:35. Gone in 6 0 Seconds 6:40, 9:20. Rocky & Bullwinkle 12:05, 2:20, 4:30. The Perfect Storm 12:20, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30. Gladiator 12:30, 3:40, 8.

Nutty Professor 2 * 11:50. 2:15, 4:40, 7:05, 9:40. Thomas and the Magic Railroad* 2:20, 6:50. Pokemon 2 0 0 0 12, 4:20, 8:50. Chicken Run 12:10, 2:10, 4:10. Loser 12, 2:30, 4:50, 7:15, 9:30. Disney's The Kid 12:20, 3:20, 6:40, 9:10. The Perfect Storm 6:30, 9:20.

The Perfect Storm 12:50, 3:20, 6:40, 9:05. The Patriot 12:15, 3:25, 7:10. Chicken Run 12, 3:15, 6:30, 9:45. Matinees Sat-Sun only.

friday 28 — tuesday Nutty 6:40, 2:30, 3:30, 4:40,

Professor 2* 12:15, 2:25, 4:25, 8:55. Pokemon 2 0 0 0 12:30, 4:30. What Lies Beneath 12:50, 6:30, 9. X-Men 12:40, 2:40, 7, 8:50. Scary Movie 6:50, 9:05.

26 — thursday

X-Men 11:45, 2:20, 4:40, 7:10, 9:45. Disney's The Kid 11:50, 2:30, 4:55, 7:15, 9:30. Scary Movie 12:20, 2:45, 4:30, 5, 6:45, 7:25, 9:35, 10:05. The Patriot 12:15, 4, 8. The Perfect Storm 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:50. Rocky & Bullwinkle 12, 2:10. Me, Myself & Irene 12:30, 3:30, 7:20, 10. Chicken Run 12:40, 2:50, 5, 7, 9. Mission Impossible 2 12:45, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40.

Main Street, Montpelier, 229-0509.

Wednesday

26 — thursday

friday 28 — tuesday

Nutty Professor 2 * 11:50, 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10. Pokemon 2 0 0 0 12:05, 2:35, 5:10, 7:20. What Lies Beneath 12:45, 3:40, 6:40, 9:40. X-Men 11:45, 2:20, 4:40, 7:10, 9:45. Disney's The Kid 12:10, 2:30, 4:55, 7:15, 9:30. Scary Movie 12:20, 2:45, 5, 7:25, 10:05. The Patriot 12:15, 4, 8. The Perfect Storm 12:50, 3:50, 6:50, 9:50. Me, Myself & Irene 9:55. Chicken Run 12:40, 2:50, 5, 7, 9.

Wednesday

26 — thursday

Paulie 12:30. Love and Basketball 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Final Destination 5:30, 10. Keeping the Faith 1, 4, 6:45, 9:15. 2 8 Days 1:15, 3:15, 7:45. Rules of Engagement 2:15, 4:40, 7, 9:30.

friday 28 — tuesday

East is East 6:30, 8:30.

*Schedules for the following theaters are not available at press time. CAPITOL THEATRE 93 State Street, Montpelier, 229-0343. MAD RIVER FLICK Route 100, Waitsfield, 496-4200. MARQUIS THEATER Main Street, Middlebury, 388-4841.

friday 28 — tuesday 1 Keeping the Faith 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:15. U - 5 7 1 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:45. Antz 12:30. Rocky and Bulwinkle 2:15, 4:15, 7:15, 9:30. Road Trip 1, 2:45, 4:30, 7, 9. Film times will be different on 8/1. Call for info.

PARAMOUNT THEATRE 2 4 1 North Main Street, Barre, 479-9621. SUNSET DRIVE-IN Colchester, 862-1800.

WELDEN THEATER 104 No. Main St., St. Albans, 527-7888.

Rt. 100, Morrisville, 8 8 8 - 3 2 9 3 .

Wednesday

26 — thursday

X-Men 12:30, 2:30, 4:30, 6:50, 9:15. Scary Movie 1:40, 4:50, 8:10, 9:45.

For more f i l m f u n don't forget to watch "Art Patrol" every Thursday, Friday and Sunday on News Channel 5 !

LAST WEEK'S WINNERS LAST WEEK'S ANSWERS: HEATHER KILLINGBECK TOM TURNER GAIL PATRY S0NDRA LONG NORA LAVERDIERE PATTY EVANS MERLE GR0VER JIM BEDARD GEORGE CLAYTON MARY BLAKE

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SEVEN DAYS

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•men

The

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B Y CHRIS

Cml ways to syrt!¥e summer in Montreal

BARRY

ith the summer we've been having, I know it seems almost impossible, but take comfort in knowing that any day now the obligatory mid-season heat wave will surely be upon us. Some of you will bitch about it, but I intend to welcome it with open arms. Enough of this permanent September the gods have cursed us with this year — bring me the dog days of July, dammit! Bring me the barely clad babes of StLaurent; let me rejoice in the sensuous pleasures of doing can-

schmucks who have to ride the trains day in and day out just to get to work from the 'burbs. Try to find a young couple just getting to know each other, stand right next to them, discreetly pass wind and watch how uncomfortable they get, both trying to ignore the stench but secretly wondering if their new squeeze is capable of producing such unpleasantness. This is a fun

who gets an instant migraine whenever the thermometer climbs above 85. Some people are just better than others at handling the gigantic sauna — complete with sticky, sweaty bodies — that this city can become in summer. But just because it's 100 degrees outside doesn't mean you have to curl up in a dark corner and wait out the summer. No siree! I'm going to show you how to have a cool indoor time in Montreal despite the heat — when it comes.

nonballs off the high board at the children's pool on lie Ste-Helene; allow me to get drunk and obnoxious on a sweltering hot afternoon on the terrace of le StSulpice on St-Denis, peeing wherever I feel like it and suffering dry heaves by dinnertime. Give me my summer! Now, I realize that not everyone appreciates heat waves as much as I do. A lot of you dread humidity nearly as much as I despair at the depressing, omnipresent gray of midFebruary. I respect this. After all, I know what it is to live without air-conditioning. Not to mention that I share a roof with someone

Some people are i ust better than

T h e first thing some of you might want to consider is an altered state of consciousness. I find that I'm generally more at one with the weather when I'm under the influence. Besides, most touristy-type things — OK, almost all things — are more interesting when you've got a decent buzz going.

all the way to the Planetarium at 1000 St-Jacques, on the corner of Peel. T h e Planetarium is always freezing, at any time of year. I don'* know why; maybe it has something to do with making all the planets feel 'at home. Montreal boasts a pretty good Planetarium at the best of times, but it's goddamned incredible when your senses are on edge. This summer they're presenting a show called "The Wrath of the Sun," which is something all you heatsensitive types will be able to appreciate. It's a pretty great "spectacle" and, for $6, is a bona fide bargain. At night there's a presentation called " T h e Realm of the Galaxies," which I've heard is accompanied by the sounds of Pink Floyd. Next you might want to head up the street to the Montreal Museum of Fine Arts and check out the exhibit, "From Renoir to Picasso: Masterpieces from the Musee de l'Orangerie." Unfortunately, the Picasso pieces in the collection are not from his Cubist period, so they aren't as challenging. I did, however, recently spend about an hour gazing at the enormous reproduction of one of the paintings from his "Nude Bather" series — and that's hanging outside the

others at handling

the gigantic sauna — complete with sticky, sweaty

Being from Vermont and way too smart to bring any consciousness-altering substances across the border, you will want to first locate the best place to score. Word on the street is that Berri Metro station is the place to go

bodies — that this city can become ihniiiHiHja

— but you didn't hear this from me. And if this is not your thing, of course, Montreal offers hundreds of opportunities to stop in for a legal biere.

game to play at nightclubs, too, by the way. T h e trendier the club, the better. Just don't start giggling, or everyone will know it's you. Once you get to the Bonaventure Metro station you can walk through the air-conditioned "underground city'' almost

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ARTFUL DODGING Picasso offers one way to beat the heat.

gallery advertising the exhibit. I would have continued my cultural appreciation longer had a couple of tight-ass passersby not started to bum my flow with their "What the hell is that weirdo doing with that sick smile on his face...?" Anyway, the Picasso exhibit runs through

October 1 5, and it's $15 to actually go inside. If you've got a yearning for some real art, then head over to one of the city's Imax theaters — the closest one being just around the corner inside the Paramount theater complex at Ste-Catherine and Metcalfe. Ain't nothing bet-

ter than watching plotless Hollywood crap in 70mm, I say. This month they're showing an Imax classic called Into the Deep, and, no kidding, it's surprisingly effective. This deep-sea thriller is the first Imax movie I've seen that didn't insult my extremely sophisticated taste in cinema. It

was like actually being under the ocean for 63 minutes, and it was awesome. Once I remembered to exhale it was even better. After this, you can get back on the Metro, stop at Berri and take the short walk over to the cinema of the National Film Board of Canada at 1564 St-

Denis. We Canadians have grown up associating the work of the NFB with depressing shorts about skinning whales in Nunavut and non-critical profiles of boring national "heroes" like Norman Bethune. But that's because we are, for the most part, a stupid people — unlike our American neighbors. Over the years, though, the NFB has been responsible for an incredible body of spectacular filmmaking — films that could only be made through the socialist miracle of 100 percent public financing. Check out the CineRobotheque, with its robot-created images, if you really want to freak out. It's a nifty technology in itself and, more importantly, allows you access to more than six decades of NFB films for next to nothing. Bonus: It's air-conditioned. ®

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So, which is it, scattering or interference?

Straight

Rick makes a good case for the latter, but I'll let the boys fight it out. In the meantime, just remember that whatever virtues blue jays may have, they're not true-blue.

Dope

Dear Cecil, In your book The Straight Dope, you said the copyright on "Happy Birthday" was due to expire in 1996. Does this mean I can now sing this song at my kid's B-day without fear of being visited by the copyright cops?

Dear Cecil,

— Ed Banigan,

Many years ago during an otherwise forgettable science class the teacher told us that "blue jays aren't really blue. "Supposedly their blue color is not a result of pigment but rather an optical illusion produced by diffraction through the feathers or something. I spot blue jays from time to time and stare at them, hoping to see them as they really are, after the manner of Kipling's eponymous hero Kim, intraining for the Great Game. However, it's not working. Tell me, Cecil, are blue jays not really blue? — Ray Fanchamps,

Pleasant Prairie,

Oak Park, Illinois

Sure. Just don't pass the hat afterward. T h e copyright laws having been revised, the copyright on " H a p p y Birthday" now won't expire until 2011 — or at least so says Warner/Chappell Music G r o u p , current owner of the song. But the restriction applies only to commercial performances.

Wisconsin

You can sing it for free to your heart's content.

T h i s is o n e of those what-is-reality-type questions best debated

To recap for those whose m e m o r y has

over a six-pack, b u t in the interest of keeping things linear, let's

trast of blue against a dark background makes the color especially

trim it d o w n to size: Is blue-jay blue produced by a surface opti-

vivid.

cal effect rather than pigment? Answer: yes. In fact, blue and

faded since our original column on this subject in 1977(1), the music for the song was written in the 1890s by Mildred Hill,

In parrots you've got the same basic structure, except that the

with the original lyric " G o o d M o r n i n g to You" by her sister Patty.

green pigments are virtually u n k n o w n in birds, having been

blue-producing layer is overlain by a transparent yellow layer.

f o u n d only in an African species k n o w n as the turaco. In other

Blue masked by yellow produces green. W h i t e feathers are also

many years later their song was stolen by a Tin Pan Alley shark,

birds, including your jays, bluebirds, etc., the blue is merely a

schemochromic. T h e y look that way because they reflect all col-

w h o published it with the lyric " H a p p y Birthday to You." T h e

trick of the light, producing what ornithologists call a structural

ors, but they contain no pigment and under certain conditions

Hills prevailed in court and were granted a copyright in 1935.

color or schemochrome. G r i n d u p a blue feather — no blue. For

can be shown to be transparent.

that matter, hold a blue feather u p to t h e light, so that you're see-

According to A S C A P (the American Society of Composers,

Fine, you say. But is all of this really caused by scattering?

ing it by transmitted rather than reflected light, and you'll find

Maybe not. Writing in the November 5, 1998, issue of

the blue disappears.

Rick Prum, an ornithologist at the University of Kansas, argues

For m a n y years the standard explanation for blue-jay blue was

As near as 1 can tell, the sisters didn't file for a copyright and

Nature,

Authors and Publishers), which acts as a clearinghouse for music royalties, " H a p p y Birthday" was by far the most widely performed musical work of the 2 0 t h century (or perhaps more accurately,

that blue feathers don't look blue for the same reason the sky

the most widely performed work still under copyright protection,

that it was produced by scattering, the same process that makes

does; they look blue for the same reason oil slicks do. T h e phe-

and thus within ASCAP's purview). W e asked Warner/Chappell what kind of royalties the song was bringing in — they said

the sky blue. Blue jay feathers contain particles so small that they

n o m e n o n here is called inrerference, or coherent scattering.

cause selective scattering (reflection in all directions) of the short-

Basically, as light bounces off the regularly spaced microscopic

they'd get back to us. Personally I wish I could have written "Blue

er wavelengths of light, which collectively appear blue. In the jay,

structure of the feather, it splits and then recombines. W h e n it

Suede Shoes," but I'd settle for Warner/Chappell's check.

the cells containing these microscopic particles are underlain by

does so, all the wavelengths cancel out except blue, which intensi-

another cell layer containing the dark pigment melanin. T h e con-

fies.

— CECIL ADAMS

Is there something you need to get straight? Cecil Adams can deliver the Straight Dope on any topic. Write Cecil Adams at the Chicago Reader, 11 E. Illinois, Chicago, IL 60611, or e-mail him at cecil@chireader.com.

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Inside Track continued from page 5

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Howard Stern Show, is a whole other ball game.) There. This is what's known as "full disclosure." And regular readers know our association has never stopped us from voicing criticism of Radio Vermont programming when appropriate. Hey, it's still a free country, thank God! Jimmy the Joker's latest role on the Vermont stage was as executive director of the Vermont Republican Party. Before that, two /ears ago, King James gave Ed Flanagan a few headaches when he challenged him for state auditor. Mr. Dwinell, raised in the pre-Interstate Vermont, has, shall we say, the gift of gab. And, like many of that ilk, it's ended up working to his disadvantage at times. Chairman Garahan was nothing short of positively delighted when Dwinell departed. Can anyone name Dwinell's replacement? Didn't think so. Dwinell is a natural troublemaker. The "GOP Update" column he authored while on the party payroll is sorely missed by political junkies across the spectrum. Maybe talk radio is his next calling? Anyway, there he was Tuesday morning interviewing Republican rising star Skip Vallee, of gasoline fame. Mr. Vallee's running for state senate. There was so much butt-kissing going on we had to call in to point out that, had not Vermont's sodomy laws been repealed in the 1970s, Gasoline Vallee and Jimmy the Joker would be at risk of arrest. But the real reason for our call was simple curiosity. It's received remarkably little attention, but some may recall the case of Dan Hillard. Mr. Hillard was Mr.

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Garahan's predecessor as chairman of the Vermont Republican Party. Very charming gentleman. Personable and well-groomed. An insurance salesman by trade. An unfortunate thing happened to Mr. Hillard a couple years ago — he got indicted for fraud and embezzlement. Last summer Dan Hillard pleaded guilty in federal court to embezzlement. Now you remember? The sleazebag who got caught stealing from a little old lady in Bethel, Vermont. Tsk, tsk, tsk. We asked the Republican talkshow buddies Tuesday morning if they knew whatever became of Chairman Hillard, and guess what? Neither one had a clue. Hey, everybody can't know everything, otherwise there'd be too many smart people all at once and it'd be a huge traffic jam on the information highway. So we called U.S. District Court. Mr. Hillard's sentencing was originally to have occurred last November, but it was postponed. Mr. GOP is now expected to appear before U.S. District Judge Garvan Murtha in Brattleboro on August 23 at 10 a.m. Do you think Mr. Garahan, Mr. Vallee or Mr. Dwinell will be anywhere near Brattleboro that day? Media Notes — Gone like the wind? That would be Brooke Murphy, the weekend weather girl

a t M c A f e W w h l f r j l i

theTbox a couple Weeks back. _ > Bummer. She sure wasn'r here very long, but L'il Brooke was fun to watch. Word from WCAX is, she just didn't fancy Vermont and headed back west. • Okay, Jim, you can take down the ugly sign now! "Jim" would be the publisher/boss of The Burlington Free Press, Jim Carey. And the sign is the tacky banner tied to the front of 191 College Street between the second and third floors. The sign announces the paper is finally, at long last, posting news content on their Web site. Wow! Lately, if it wasn't for the wire stories out of Rhode Island, Connecticut, Maine and Massachusetts, the Freeps would have had an empty "local news" section. We checked with the city — the banner's legal for 30 days. No permit necessary. The ordinance was written to facilitate "goingout-of-business" sales. Yeah, I know, don't you just wish? However, the real shockeroo is the fact that Molly Walsh, the distinguished editorial writer who's been waging a courageous one-woman war on unsightly graffiti, hasn't told Mr. Carey to clean up his act. Don't give up, Molly. Cleanliness is next to godliness. • The biggest news in Vermont media circles is the departure of political writer Diane Derby from the Fourth Estate. Diane has taken a flak position with the state Department of Education. Over the years "Derbs" made the rounds from the Freeps to Vermont Times to the Rutland Herald/Times Argus. And she's been a popular regular on "Vermont this Week" on Vermont Public Television. Ms. Derby did not go quietly. In her final column, she tore into Ed Flanagan for his recent press conference announcing "Prominent Women Endorse Ed Flanagan." Diane really gagged on that one. Please, let's talk credentials, not chromosomes. We are not victims simply because we were born with two X's... Blame it on my upbringing if you will. I grew up the youngest of four girls, with a mother andfather who never taught us to expect that gender would be a barrier to our lives. As women, we can and should continue to challenge the stereotypes that pigeonhole our talents and our expectations. But women and men do a great disservice to both genders when they single out a "women's agenda. " If women are to be equal, people must stop viewing them — and women must stop viewing themselves — as a special interest group. So as the candidates gear up for another campaign season, I issue this appeal: Please don't pander to me based on my gender. Appeal, if you will, to my intellect. And a tip to Ed Flanagan (or any other candidate, for that matter): Next time you are inclined to use gender in your campaign, reverse the sex and see if it works. I am betting there won't be a news release promoting a "men's agenda, " or shouting, "Prominent Vermont Men Endorse Ed Flanagan." Well said. We'll miss her. ® i

Email Peter at Inside Track VT@aol. com

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"I have confidence in Ed because I have watched him for the past eight years, day in and day out. I'm inspired by the hope he has that serving in Washington can make a difference." — PETER WELCH, former President of the Vermont Senate

"Ed has spoken out the most clearly of any candidate in the race against tax reduction for the wealthy, for the livable wage, for We need your help! health care as a right and not a privilege to volunteer or contribute to Ed's campaign contact us at: based on your income. Ed is the strongest P.O. Box 2 0 9 » Burlington, VT 05402-0209 progressive voice in the race." iS-V®

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classifieds • EMPLOYMENT & BUSINESS OPP. LINE ADS: 500 a word. • LEGALS: 300 a word. • ALL OTHER LINE ADS: 25 words for $7. Over 25: 300 a word. Discounts are available for long running ads and for national ads.

MENTAL HEALTH WORKER Full time. Available in an innovative residential treatment program for adults and young adults. Supportive and pleasant work environment. The position includes varied tasks and responsibilities and some evening and weekend hours. Qualified applicants must have a great deal of flexibility, initiative and a positive attitude. Must work well as part of a team. Degree and experience working with persons with psychiatric challenges required. We are also looking for substitute staff for all shifts. For program information go to www.s-m-i.com Send resume and cover letter to Ed Levin, Spruce Mountain Inn, PO Box 153, Plainfield, VT 05667

• DISPLAY ADS: $14/col. inch. • ADULT ADS: $20/col. inch. Group buys for display ads are available in other regional papers in Vermont. Call for more details. All ads must be prepaid. We take VISA, MASTERCARD and cash, of course.

AMERICORPS*VISTA Programs of the Vermont Network Against Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault in Montpelier, Middlebury, Morrisville, Randolph, St. Johnsbury and Lebanon, NH are seeking A*VISTA members to begin service in early August. Gain skills and experience working in local non-profits doing important community work. Monthly stipend of approximately $700 per month and a $4,725 year of service.

Community Outreach Coordinator AmeriCorps National Service Position One year, full-time national service position based in Burlington. Benefits include $10,000 stipend, $4,725 educational award, and health insurance. The position will focus on increasing the visibility of our conserved public access lands, on increasing community dialogue, and reaching out to the community through all media from television to the internet.

information or application.

Required: Great writing, communicating, and computer skills. W e seek a vibrant, optimistic, well-spoken individual dedicated to land conservation.

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With increasing costs attributed to high turnover rates within organizations, businesses have found temp-

ing to be a positive step in the hiring process. If you're looking for employment, don't close this door. Temping affords you, the job seeker, the opportunity to checkout a company to determine if it is where you would like to work. At the same time, a solid performance can lead tot he company offering you a full-time position.

Resume by August 11 to: Peter Espenshade, Executive Director, Lake Champlain Land Trust, 1 Main Street. Burlington, V T 05401. No phone calls. EOE

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These permanent part-time positions include telephone and in person window ticket sales. Strong interpersonal skills required as well as accuracy and speed in data entiy. Daytime, evening and weekend hours. To apply, mail a letter and resume, or complete an application in the administrative offices of the Flynn Theatre, 153 Main Street, Burlington, VT 05401. No phone calls please. EOE.

7D classifieds [Where fhe Goo SEVEN DAYS

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your community? The Vermont Center for Independent Living's Home Access Program is seeking contractors to build ramps and modify bathrooms.

STATEWIDE PROJECT TRAINING IS PROVIDED COMPETITIVE RATES PAID

Outlet Store Sales Assistant Gardener's Supply Company's Outlet store at Taft Comers in Williston is a new shopping destination where you can find a wide selection of our innovative products for the garden, yard and home at bargain prices. Come join us -- we have an opening for a full-time Sales Associate. Primarily you will help customers make informed purchases of our products, assemble products and refurbish returned merchandise. Our ideal candidate is a great salesperson with retail and product assembly/refurbishment experience who is enthusiastic, organized, dependable and knowledgeable about our products and gardening. Daytime shifts; one weekend day required. We are a growing company with a fun, team-oriented environment, strong cultural values, competitive salaries and excellent benefits. Interested? Please send or email your resume and cover letter, or come in and fill out an application at:

fiARDENERS V » 1 P P 1 I C O M P A N Y

128 Intervale Rd., Burlington, VT 05401 Attn: Randee randeeg@gardeners.com

PRINT PRODUCTION C u s t o m e r Service |box o m c E | R e p r e S e n t a t i v e s :

Make a difference for people with disabilities in

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Want to be doing work that is really worthwhile? Work with a great team of people?

Contractors must provide proof of liability insurance, references and criminal background check.

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Employment Tip of the Week

ATTENTION CONTRACTORS

We're looking for someone to help us produce a wide variety of literature at our in-house mail order marketing agency. We work on MACS, would like someone proficient in Xpress and PhotoShop, and experienced in electronic pre-press. Most of all, we need a meticulous individual — someone who enjoys creating, honing, completing their work without missing deadlines and who can juggle projects without missing a beat. The right person will thrive on a fast pace, love having plenty to do, and appreciate being a part of a great group to work with! This seasonal position is expected to last through the end of the year, however is subject to business necessity. Conveniently located off Route 7 in Charlotte, VT. Please apply in person at our main office on Meigs Rd. in Vergennes or send a resume and letter of interest to:

Shelburne Museum

SEASONAL CUSTODIAN Shelburne Museum requests applications for Seasonal Custodian. This is a full-time, May through the end of October position withour benefits. Applicants must be 16 years or older, be able to lift and carry 30 lbs. and be able to do rigorous labor for extended periods. A valid Vermont drivers license is desirable. Duties include the vacuuming of public areas, cleaning and stocking restrooms, collecting trash, and washing windows. Weekend work is required.

COUNTRY HOME PRODUCTS®, INC.

PO Box 240, HR Dept., SD72 Vergennes, VT 05491

rowER equipment Makers of the original Trimmer/Mower. Country Home Products is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

A job description and application are available from Shelburne Museum, PO Box 10, 5555 Shelburne Road, Shelburne, VT 05482 or 802-985-3348 ext. 3562

COME WORK WITH US!!

P a r t - t i m e child c a r e r p r o v i d e r n e e d e d f o r t w o babies ages 6 and 10 m o n t h s starting S e p t e m b e r 13. W e d n e s d a y s and T h u r s d a y s 8:30-4:30 in Burlington h o m e . Child developm e n t / h u m a n r e s o u r c e s d e g r e e p r e f e r r e d . E x p e r i e n c e with infants and m i n i m u m o n e year c o m m i t m e n t essential. Looking f o r m a t u r e , w a r m , relaxed and fun p e r s o n w h o is a n o n s m o k e r with a driver's license. Unable t o a c c o m m o d a t e o t h e r children. $ 1 0 / h o u r with 2 w e e k s paid vacation. Please call Liz and Brian at 8 6 4 - 5 0 6 7 .

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HUBER'SUHNER, Inc. HUBER+SUHNER, Inc. is a rapidly growing organization engaged in the manufacture of high quality RF connectors, high performance cable assemblies, lightning protectors, antennas, passive components and telecommunications systems. We currently have the following positions, available: MASTER SCHEDULER Responsible for product process flow from design to shipment, and resale. Will analyze current processes, identify areas for improvement, and recommend new processes. Must have five to eight years MRP planning experience in a manufacturing environment. Problem analysis skills and excellent interpersonal and communication skills are a must. Solid PC skills required, experience in BaaN a plus.

BUSINESS ANALYST Responsible for the design, set up, and maintenance of the cost accounting system used to analyze business unit/product line profitability and manufacturing unit productivity. BS in Accounting or related field and 7+ years business experience. Cost accounting system design and maintenance required, as well as supervisory experience.

RF T E C H N I C I A N To develop, maintain, and implement qualified test procedures for the RF Cable department. Will collect and perform statistical review of product performance. ASEE required, or equivalent experience with emphasis on electrical and math skills. Must have experience with Windows-based programming, Access, Excel, ad paper-based pre-control charts and histograms. Must be able to teach others.

FIBER OPTICS MANUFACT U R I N G ENGINEER To provide process and manufacturing engineering support through process development and improvement to existing and future product lines. Will design tooling and specify equipment to meet production capacity requirements, and improve work flow and quality. This position requires a BSME with two to six years fiber optic manufacturing experience. Excellent problem solving and communication skills are a necessity. Must be proficient with MS Office, and familiar with CAD. Experience working within an MRP environment preferred. Experience with experiment design, and 6Sigma, SPC or other quality-based systems are required.

INSIDE SALES REPRESENTATIVE To act as a primary interface between HUBER+SUHNER, Inc., our customers, representatives, and distributors. Responsible for technical and commercial support in securing orders and servicing accounts. Candidates must be proficient in MS Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. BA or Associate's Degree in Business or related field and/or three to five years experience in a customer service environment. Must have excellent communication skills, both written and verbal, and the ability to prioritize in a fast paced environment. Some travel may be required.

PLATING TECHNICIAN To operate the plating line in a safe and productive manner. Will monitor plating parameters as to ensure continuous equipment performance and product quality. Requirements include a two-year degree in related field or sufficient work experience to demonstrate strong understanding of technical aspects of the position. Must be able to work safely among hazardous materials.

We are seeking full time STORE ASSISTANTS to join our Produce, Grocery & Bulk Teams. You must be able to lift 50lbs. repeatedly, Produce also has a part time opening. Our Front-End staff is seeking both full and part time candidates for CASHIERS and FLOOR MANAGER. The Merchandising Department is interviewing for a full time SIGN MAKER to create beautiful signs throughout our store and a wonderful cook with personality to fill our DEMO COORDINATOR position. i aisD

The Onion River Co-op offers competitive wages, paid time off, medical and dental insurance, and store discounts for both full and part ^ time employees. SencLyour resume* with cover Utter or stop by Mi^fiUoutaJiyapplicatiofvat: 274 N. Winooski Avenue,, Burtinatotv Equal Opportunity Employer

05401

Vermont Housing Finance Agency, a statewide agency that provides affordable financing for homeownership and rental housing, has immediate openings for two positions in our Public Affairs e[ Planning Department.

WEB & GRAPHIC DESIGNER VHFA is looking for aw'energetic professional with o u t s t a n d i n g web and graphic design skills for 2 0 hours a week. May also be combined with administrative position (listed below) to be a full-time position. Primary responsibilities for this position include designing and updating VHFA's web pages, as well as designing and producing print publications. Must work effectively with production and technical staff to e n s u r e web page is updated and enhanced as required. Candidate m u s t have Associates degree with c o m p u t e r science a n d / o r graphic design concentration. Two years experience with html coding and other web-development software, one year experience with graphic design software, and o n e year experience with Adobe products. Advanced knowledge of Microsoft Office products required, particularly Word and Excel.

MATERIALS PROCESSOR To support numerous internal and external customers by promptly moving appropriate inventory to its designated location. Will understand and ensure compliance to IS09001 standards as they pertain to inventory. This position requires experience in either shipping/receiving, kitting, or bar coding. Must have experience with Microsoft Office Suite and math skills must be at high school level or higher.

HUBER+SUHNER, Inc. offers a competitive salary and benefit program and the opportunity to join a well established company.

If you believe you

have the necessary qualifications and would like to join our team, please forward your resume with salary history to:

HUBER+SUHNER, Inc. Attn: Human Resources Dept. 19 Thompson Drive Essex let., VT 05452 or Fax to: 802-878-7843 or i-mail: resumes@hubefsuhnerinc.com HUBER+SUHNER is an equal opportunity employer.

Must have excellent written and verbal c o m m u n i c a t i o n s skills and d e m o n s t r a t e ability to resolve problems in a systematic yet efficient way. Have ability to work effectively with end users and vendors and to work both independently and as a t e a m player.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT VHFA is looking for an energetic t e a m player with o u t s t a n d i n g telephone and skills. This position may be part-time or full-time. Primary responsibilities for tion include serving as t h e principal receptionist for t h e agency and providing m e n t administrative support. This position also assists with special projects, m a n a g e m e n t , and other tasks.

people this posidepartdata b a s e

Candidate m u s t be proficient in word processing, spreadsheet, and data b a s e software (Microsoft Office 97 preferred). Must have at least two years' c u s t o m e r service experience. Must be highly organized and able to handle multiple tasks. ~ Competitive salary and excellent benefits packages. T h o s e interested in being considered for either position should submit a letter of interest and a resume, including whether you are applying for part-time or full time positions, by Friday, August 4th, to Kari Caragher:

vbfa

Vermont H o u s i n g Finance Agency

Vermont Housing Finance Agency P.O. Box 408 Burlington, VT 05402-0408

Drivers & Pizza M a k e r s FT & PT d r i v e r s e a r n $ 12/hr + tips. M u s t Counseling S e r v i c e of Addison C o u n t y , Inc.

Help Wanted

have reliable vehicle and g o o d driver's r e c o r d . Pizza m a k e r s s t a r t at $ 7 . 5 0 / h r n o

Corporate Cafeteria in Colchester

Switchboard Operator

Early AM a must. No nights. No weekends. Will train. Fun atmosphere. Phone calls only. 654-8196

Junior Web Programmer

e x p e r i e n c e necessary. A p p l y at DOMINO'S PIZZA 485 Colchester Ave.

Part time position in a fast-moving digital agency,

health agency. Will be part of interactive

managing our servers, assisting backend website

administrative support team. C o m p l e t e

development, database creation, etc. Should know PERL, DHTML, JAVASCRIPT, UNIX and more.

Burlington

4 0 hours per week position for busy mental

o r call Jeff a f t e r 5:00 at 6 5 8 - 3 3 3 3 .

benefits including health and dental.

Send Reumes to: 2 0 9 B a t t e r y $ t r e e t B u r l i n g t o n , VT

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member. As SPECIAL PROJECTS including environmental education, natural resource projects, natural area's protection projects and more. Benefits for members include a $10,000 stipend and $4,725 educational award at completion, childcare if state eligible, and health insurance for full-time year long commitment. Interviewing now, position starts in September. Contact the Winooski Valley Park District, 863-5744. EOE.

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Trust (BCLT) has an Americorps position available

COORDINATOR, you will work on projects

as a Homeowner Services Representative. This 11-month position requires BA or related work experience, proficient computer and writing skills, clean driving record and access to a vehicle, basic math skills and a strong interest in providing service to the community. Experience in housing, real estate, or banking a plus. Benefits include $ 10,000 stipend, $4,725 educational award, health insurance and child care if state eligible. Apply immediately. Call BCLT at 864-6244 for an application packet. Vermont Housing & Conservation Board

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assessment in the district. Responsible for analyzing test training for instructional personnel. Competitive salary

Interested in an exciting service opportunity? The Burlington Community Land

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responsibility for the development and coordination of

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Compr«h*riiv« Wo»l* Monsgtminl

Need someone to assume

2000-2001 school year.

attn. Mary Metcalf

The Chittenden Solid Waste District is seeking motivated individuals for skilled techncal and manual work, maintenance and repair of equipment. CDL license required. $1l93/hr. Great benefits. Available immediately. Call Lee at 872-8100 ext. 212.

CSWP

DIRECTOR OF CIRRICULUM & ASSESSMENT - Begin in

Middelbury, V T 0 5 7 5 3

Maintenance Operator

CHOTINDTN SOLID W A S T I DISTINCT

WASHINGTON WEST SUPERVISORY UNION WAITSFIELD, VT 05673

Resume and cover letter to:

05401

SMOKERS NEEDED Healthy Men & Women age 18-45 for Cigarette smoking study at UVM

Master's degree in education

required; administrative certificate preferred. DIRECTOR OF SPECIAL EDUCATION, .5 FTE - Must be certified as a Coordinator of Special Education. Must send

Compensation up to $240 If you are available on 3 days for 1 hour, and 1 week M-F, in the morning, afternoon

copy of license. If interested in either position, please send letter of interest, resume, and 3 letters of reference to: ., William Riegel^Superintendent

, ,

PO Box 1450 Waitsfield, VT 05673 Positions open until filled

Please Call 656-9619

EOE

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CELLULARONE® WE ARE GROWING AND WE WANT YOU!

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Join CellularOne! We have the following outstanding opportu-

862-0401.

n i t i e s a v a i l a b l e in o u r C o l c h e s t e r , V T l o c a t i o n : ASSISTANT P R O G R A M DIRECTOR

arts of Vermont

PD, VSAVT 192 College Street — 2nd Floor Burlington, V T 05401

Responsible for supervising VSA Arts Programs in Chittenden Co., volunteer coordination, managing our inventory of art supplies, and producing program art shows and performances. Candidates must have BA, excellent organization and people skills, and reliable transportation. Salary $17,000 with benefits. (802) 658-6612. Resume and Letters of Reference due by 7/31/00.

www.vsavt.org

FULL TIME & PART TIME SALES HELP WANTED Evening and weekend hours. Good pay and bonus program. Fun place to work. Generous merchandise discount. Please apply at:

We need specialized team members to further our growth. Audio Video Authority is seven years old and well established as the premier electronic entertainment purveyor in Vermont. As specialists in Home Theatre and Car Audio we offer a diverse & challenging work day, every day. We are looking for a Custom Installation Specialist that has an aptitude for electronics and/or residential construction, but above all a willingness (and the ability to learn. We also need a part time bookkeeper. Someone with an accounting background that can hit the ground running. We expect hard working career orientated professionals and offer a compensation commensurate with ability. We offer a health and dental program, employee discounts, paid vacation time, and a 401 (k) program with employer contributions. Please forward your resume by mail or: e-mail rscott@avauthority.com

a u t h o i _ i t_j

Shoes, Clothing & Accessories Champlain Mill Winooski, VT 0 5 4 0 4

:vrtiiiot%r :.v-tltA:ny.tnt

• C u s t o m e r Service Representatives (Full and Part Time) • Inside Sales Representatives • Account Executive (Outside Sales) For more information, c h e c k o u t o u r w e b s i t e at w w w . r u r a l c e l l u l a r . c o m . Please mail, f a x or email r e s u m e s with c o v e r letter and salary requirements/history to: H u m a n Resources 302 Mountain View Drive Colchester, V T 05446 Fax (802) 654-5148 Sarahmn@rccw.com Equal Opportunity

Employer

1519 Shelburne Rd. s.Burlington 05403 Fax 660-4321

RURAL CELLULAR CORPORATION

7D classifieds page 52

SEVEN DAYS

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Available for 5-10 minutes three times a day (M-F) for three weeks

Guest Service Representative: This position will expose you to all aspects of the front desk including: customer service, reservations, accounting, yield management and sales.

Willing to discontinue smoking for monetary compensation Earn up to $500 in 15 days

US Airways is really going places, and we invite you to come along with us! As we expand, we have exciting PART-TIME career opportunities available at the urlington Municipal Airport.

ing Pay $8.78/hour! V

Please send resume or apply in person at: Comfort Inn 1285 Williston Road S. Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 3 (802) 865-3400

Are you eager to enjoy these great rewards that are available to both full & part time employees? • Unique travel privileges for you and your immediate family • 401(k) • 10 paid days off/year • Medical/Dental Benefits for Full & Part Time Employees • Much more

To prepare your career for takeoff, send your resume to:

US Airways Recruiting Services Burlington Municipal Airport 1200 Airport Drive Burlington, VT 05403 Fax: (802) 660-2945 EOE. M/F/D/V. www.usairways.com

Job Hotline: 1-877-US-JOB-4-U

New England Performance Art Center is expanding our registry of actors and models. No matter what your age, size, type, background, shape, or experience—we would like to meet you and help you get started. Models and actors are needed for a wide variety of local, professional assignments.

Cook — for local UVM sorority house in Burlington. 20-25 people. Position entails ordering and maintaining inventory, menu planning and lunch/ dinner preparation. Also assist in food prep for occassional house functions. 35-38 hrs./wk. Sept-May.

Do you meet these qualifications? • At least 18 yeah of age • High School diploma or 6ED • Valid state driver's license • Ability to work shifts, weekends and holidays

MODELS & PRINT ACTORS WANTED! All Types!

CALL NEPAC AT 872-9521

Fleet Service Agents (Baggage Handlers)

WBBTSffff^TBffl Starting Pay $9.35/hour!

658-3877

These positions require friendly, detail oriented people. If you enjoy meeting new people, sharing your knowledge of Vermont, working in a pleasant work environment and being part of an award winning team, we would like to talk with you. We offer competitive wages, medical benefits, 401k plan, paid holidays and vacations.

We Can Take You Places!

Call today for an appointment

Morning Breakfast Hostess: Friendly morning person to greet our guests and maintain continental breakfast, light cleaning and ordering.

Please Call 656-9627

Temporary Services

• Seminar • Data Entry • Secretary • Clerical • Receptionist • Accounting • Administrative • Pick Pack Laborers

fill the following positions:

For UVM Study, 18-65 years old

COOK LUNCH/DINNER ROTATION Creative, high energy individual. References required. Please apply at:

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Salary based upon experience, references required. Please respond to AXO, PO Box 5332, Burlington, VT 05401-5332

PRODUCE PERSON Vermont's Premier Specialty Food Store

Part-Time

needs a passionate person to care of our produce department. Full Time or Part Time.

Dental

Benefits, flexible sched-

Call 6 S S - 0 3 4 3

uling. Stop by the!

Needed.

1-2 d a y s / w e e k . E x p e r i e n c e p r e f e r r e d , b u t will t r a i n . S e n d r e s u m e to: All S e a s o n s D e n t a l C a r e 165 D o r s e t S t r e e t South Burlington, V T 05403

Experience necessary.

46 Highpoint Center x-16 off I-89 Colchester

Add Lit ant

Fresh Market on 400 Pine Street, Burlington.

Construction Teacher

Combine your construction skills and experience with your desire to teach. Enthusiastic team player to supervise, teach and provide supportive guidance to youth (16-24) as they build affordable housing and develop their leadership skills. Minimum of 5 years carpentry/ construction/ youth development experience required.

Ask tor Simon.

863-3968 Counseling Service of A d d i s o n County, Inc.

Send resume to: YouthBuild c/o Jim Tiffany 14. S. Williams St., Burlington, VT 05401. EOE

Community Associates A Division of t h e Counseling Service of Addison ounty, Inc.

is presently seeking candidates f o r the following positions: Full Time Residential Support Staff 4 0 hours/week. Work as part of a team contributing t o t h e care and quality of life f o r men and women with developmental disabilities living in residential settings. The ideal candidate will possess creativity, compassion and p r o f e s sionalism. Extensive and ongoing training provided. Personal care, medicine administration, ability t o lift up t o 8 0 lbs. and overnights required. In Middlebury. High school or equivalent diploma. 2+ years of relevant experience working with people with DD or a combination of education and experience. Flexibility and strong communication skills. Valid driver's license and adequate insurance. $18,741. Full b e n e f i t package including medical.

Substitute S e t your own schedule. Work in a variety of s e t t i n g s in Middlebury, Vergennes and Bristol. Ideal f o r summer work. Extensive and ongoing training provided. Creativity and flexibiity a must! Ability t o l i f t up t o 5 0 lbs. in some settings. Work is "at will." High school or equivalent diploma. Good communcation skills and willingness t o work with o t h e r s as part of a team. Valid driver's license and appropriate insurance. $ 7 . 5 0 awake time, $ 5 . 7 5 sleep.

Applications available at Community Associates, 61 Court S t . , Middlebury, VT 05753 or send resume and letter of intent to S. Smithson at the above aaddress.

B A R T E N D I N G SCHOOL

Drivers Wanted

• Hands-on Training m National Certification m Immediate Job Openings

Awesome earning potential

$10-$14/hr.

1-888-854-4448

Relaxed working conditions. Part time

www.bartendingschool.com

and full time drivers needed for day or night shifts. Must have valid

The

UNIVERSITY VERMONT

Drivers License, Insurance, & Reliable Vehicle.

BEER DRINKERS WHO SMOKE

Healthy Men and W o m e n 2 1 - 5 0 needed for " cigarette smoking study at U V M

Call for details or apply in person:

Compensation up to $1500 or more

Four Star Delivery

203 No. Winooski Ave. Burlington

865-3663

Must be available for 5 hours 3 days per week 5 v for about 6 weeks -

Please Coll 656-961 7D classifieds [Where the Good Jobs Are] july 2 6 , 2 0 0 0

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C O L L E G E / o r the Performing Arts, Ltd.

Fabulous Temporary Jobs: from August 7 - September 8. Fun, fast-paced environment, weekday hours. Apply at

Computer

Champlain College Bookstore, 371 Maple St., Burlington

Restaurant Supervisor Sales Associates & Servers Dishwashers Some experience needed, will trainGood pay, great atmosphere. Chef's Corner Williston

Learning

Centers

In the IT field- There's no better way of looking out for your career than to look to the industry leader!

TECHNICIANS Burlington,VT

As the nation's #1 computer training company with over 18 years of incredible growth in a multi-billion dollar field and with over 240 locations world wide, Hew Horizons gives you the opportunity to start your career off by getting paid to learn and to teach what you know.

A p p l i e d M a t e r i a l s is seeking talented p r o f e s sionals to provide e q u i p m e n t support to our c u s t o m e r engineers.You will also clean and maintain a variety o f e q u i p m e n t and process chamber types, as well as exhaust and water cooling systems. Requires flexible individuals with an H S diploma or equivalent. Ideal candidates will have mechanical and customer service experience.

That's right! You can't grow rapidly with our family of excellence and dedication while you learn to teach Windows and Macintosh based classes as well as our Graphics application. You can have a huge impact on the computer industry by sharing your abilities with our clients on a daily basis.

APPLIED MATERIALS4 T h e information age starts here.

878-5524

On Tuesday, August 1 at 5PM, we will be conducting a Hiring Seminar immediately followed by personal interviews. Take an hour or so of your time to learn what New Horizons has to offer for your career. Business attire required. RSVP (802)862-3374 ext. 37 1191 S. Brownell Rd. Williston, VT

i ® 3 EXCELLENT BENEFITS pkg. available for full-time, YR employees. All employees get free shift meals, skiing, use of fitness center, discounts. Apply to: Drapp Family Lodge, Human Resources, PO Box 1428, Stowe, VT 05672 Ph: 802.253.5713 fax: 802.253.5757 EOE

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1st & 2nd shifts available at Champion Jogbra 1st shift - $7.50/hr. 2nd shift - $8.20/hr Call t o d a y for an a p p o i n t m e n t

658-3877

Join a rapidly growing Database Publishing/Internet company in the health care field. We are seeking a professional with publishing experience for our quarterly publications. Responsibilities include developing content, managing our databases and data collection effort, as well as coordination with clinical editors, advertising sales department, data entry staff, graphic designers, pre-press and printers Must be highly organized and able to meet deadlines. Send a cover letter and resume to: Green Mountain Wellness Publishers, Inc., Attn: Publishers, P.O. Box 554, Hinesburg, VT 05461. Or email to; jcunninghama>gmwp.com fio(phone calls, please, . E O E

Healthy Smokers age 18-50 needed for UVM study. $15 per hour compensation , , upon completion of up to five 1-4 hour sessions. Total compensation may be up to $300. Please leave a message at 656-9620.

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NFI, an expanding stateiuide mental health treatment system for children, adolescents and families, is seeking to fill the folloiving positions:

Awake Overnight Counselors NFI is seeking benefited Awake Overnight Counselors for its Hospital Diversion Program for youth. Experience working with children and adolescents desired. Full time, benefited, competitive salary.

Residential Counselors Seeking Residential Counselors to work at our group Home and Hospital Diversion programs. Work with a talented team in a fast-paced environment. Experience working with children with emotional and behavioral challenges desired. Full-time, benefited, competitive salary.

Respite Counselors NFI also needs Respite Counselors to work closely with the staff and directly with clients on an "as needed basis" (often up to 35 hours a week are available). They will be taught exceptional skills in working with teenagers. Come join the creative, dynamic team at NFI. Call Dave Melnick today at 658-2441.

Success is sweet, Get your portion. GENERAL & A S S I S T A N T MANAGEMENT If you have restaurant/retail management experience, you could be enjoying: • Salaries that exceed industry average • World-class training • Outstanding advancement opportunities • Exceptional benefits, including Company-matched investment program (for General Managers) Send resume and cover letter to: Friendly's Restaurant 3 lO Williston Road Williston, VT 05495 An equal opportunity employer, committed to diversity.

7D classifieds [Where the Good Jo& SEVEN DAYS

Temporary Services

NORTHEASTERN FAMILY INSTITUTE

www.trappfamily.com

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*Irapp7mmhj i i d s j e Year Round: •LINECOOKS-FT, PT, Seasonal - very flexible •FRONT DESK/RESERVATION - FT or PT, days, eves and weekends • MAINTENANCEFT, weekends req. general "handyman" position, incl. snow and trash removal and light repairs •CONDO CLEANERSSATURDAYS ONLY • WAITSTAFF - FT, incl. weekends, breakfast & dinner shifts

Personable, highly organized, detail-oriented person sought to provide administrative support for the marketing and programming activities of northern New England's premier performing arts center. BA in marketing, arts management, or related field preferred. Strong computer skills including Microsoft Office essential. Familiarity with Quark Express, html coding, and Web site management a plus. Candidate must own a car, have valid driver's license, and be able to maintain a flexible schedule, including some nights and weekends. Arts lovers encouraged to apply. Send cover letter and resume by Aug. 12 to Marketing/Programming Assistant, Marketing D e p a r t m e n t , Flynn Theatre, 1 5 3 Main Street, Burlington, VT 0 5 4 0 1 . No phone calls, please.

Candidates interested in entry level positions must possess excellent presentations skills; the ability to communicate, an eagerness for learning, and willingness to work and have fun at the same time.

Interested candidates should send their resume, referencing Job Code:TECH0727SD,to: E - m a i l : crowley_julia@ amat.com, amat@ r p c . w e b h i r e . cornFax: (802) 862-1707. To learn m o r e a b o u t A p p l i e d M a t e r i a l s , visit o u r w e b s i t e at: w w w . appliedmaterials.com/ careers • '<41

Marketing/Programming Assistant

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Champlain College bookstore seeking temporary positions

july 26, 2000

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M A H O N E Y FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC Advanced

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Care for all

Ages.

Front Desk Chiropractic Assistant Vibrant, energetic, organized person needed tor busy Chiropractic office. 22-24 hours/week. Send resume/cover letter to: 19 Roosevelt Hwy, Suite 100, Colchester, V T 05446

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Shelburne Museum requests applications for Buildings &C Grounds Utility Driver-Groundskeeper. This is a full-time, year-round position with benefits. Applicants should have a high school diploma and Vermont drivers license. Duties include the pick up and delivery of mail, packages and supplies on the Museum grounds and throughout the Burlington area; coordinating all Museum recycling as well as perform groundskeeper duties including program support, snow removal, road and lawn care. A job description and application are available from Shelburne Museum, PO Box 10, 5555 Shelburne Road, Shelburne, VT 05482 or 802-985-3348 ext. 3562

A m e r i c a ' s M e d i u m For The M i l l e n n i u m

Do j'ou write and produce effective broadcast commercials? Join Vermont's most successful broadcast group and share _your talent and passion for creating advertising that works for our clients. Qualified candidates for this position will have a minimum of 2 ^ears experience in the ad world writing and producing commercials. Local knowledge and digital production experience are an advantage. You must thrive on deadlines. A M / F M Inc. is an eoual opportunity employer, offering a dynamic workplace &nd full benefits package. Apply today! Send cover letter, resume and sample script to: Karen Marshall, AMFM, P.O. Box 1093, Burlington, VT 05402-1093 or email kmarshall@amfm.com

(^discoverburlington.com S e e k s Professional Salespeople To Sell I N T E R N E T T E C H N O L O G Y . Start Earning $ 5 0 - 1 0 0 K Per Year. Call Alex at Burlington Internet Co. 865-2244

AMERICORPS Shelburne Museum

PAINTER Shelburne Museum requests applications for Buildings &C Grounds Painter. This is a full-time, year-round position with benefits. Applicants should have one year effective painting experience. Basic functions for this job are to apply paint, varnish, stains, and other surface finishes to decorate and protect interior and exterior surfaces, trim, and fixtures of buildings and other structures. A job description and application are available from Shelburne Museum, PO Box 10, 5555 Shelburne Road, Shelburne, VT 05482 or 802-985-3348 ext. 3562

Twenty-eight full-time service positions available with non-profit affordable housing and conservation organizations throughout Vermont including Rutland, Barre/ Montpelier, Burlington, and Morrisville. Commitment from 9/11/00 to 8/14/01. Interested in making a difference in your community? $10,000 stipend, $4,725 educational award, and basic health benefits. For information or an application call 828-3253. EOE. Vermont Housing and Conservation Board 149 State Street Montpelier, VT 05602

To apply, call immediately at 865-7170 or 865-7169

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FARM

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We strive to be the premier healthcare provider by offering a collaborative multidisciplinary team approach to care. We have the following openings for individuals that want to be part of a team that provides quality care.

LNA • D i r e c t C a r e Staff • Opportunities to become preceptors & L N A II

LPN/RN • Treatment Nurse • Medication Nurse • G P N or G N • P e r D i e m Staff

Flexible Hours!! W e will work around your schedule. W e offer a Sign-On Bonus from $1,000 to $1,500 depending on shift, competitive benefit package, 401k, and a great work environment. For more information contact: Starr Farm Nursing Center Barbara Cox, A D N S 98 Starr Farm Road Burlington, V T 05401 802-658-6717

Now Hiring For All Positions Come and join our fun and friendly team!

Host/Hostess • Cooks • Servers Fountain Workers • Dishwashers We offer: F l e x i b l e S c h e d u l i n g , P T / F T B e n e f i t s Including Insurance and Paid V a c a t i o n s Training P r o v i d e d • A b o v e A v e r a g e W a g e s All A g e s Welcome P l e a s e a p p l y in person at a n y of the f o l l o w i n g locations:

Dorset Street, S o u t h Burlington, Exit f l 4 S h e l b u r n e Road, S o u t h Burlington, Exit 13 Taft Corners, Williston, Exit 12 Mountain V i e w Drive, Colchester, Exit 16 S o u t h Main Street, Rutland Barre-Montpelier Road, Berlin Route 3, Plattsburgh EOE

7D classifieds july 2 6 , 2 0 0 0

SEVEN DAYS '-

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UTILITY DRIVER/ GROUNDSKEEPER

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Be Part of Positive Change In Your Community! Gain professional experience working with youth, economic/community dev., literacy, program management, and volunteer coordination. Serve one year with AmeriCorps*VISTA at: • Fletcher Free Library • Barnes Elementary • Johnson State College • Barre City Elementary • Community Health Center • Champlain Initiative at United Way • CEDO - Refugee Resource Project • Retired and Senior Volunteer Programs

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Shelburne Museum

CUSTODIAN Shelburne Museum requests applications for Buildings &C Grounds Custodian. This is a full-time, year-round position with benefits. Applicants should have two years high school education, 2 years of janitorial experience preferred, be 16 years or older, be able to lift and carry 30 lbs. and be able to do rigorous labor for extended periods. A valid Vermont drivers license is desirable. Duties include vacuuming, cleaning and stocking restrooms, collecting trash, washing windows. - Weekend work is required from May to October. A job description and application are available from Shelburne Museum, PO Box 10, 5555 Shelburne Road, Shelburne, VT 05482 or 802-985-3348 ext. 3562

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• employment $ 5 0 0 BONUS! Dancers/Models wanted. Earn up to $ 6 0 0 nightly. Will train. 8 7 7 - 7 0 8 - 6 4 3 3 . ARTISANAL FARMHOUSE Cheesemaker for organization w/ environmental mission. Willing to teach. Send resume to: Ross Gagnon, Shelburne Farms, Shelburne, VT, 0 5 4 8 2 . Call 9858 6 8 6 , ext. 46. EOE, even for the lactose intolerant. ASST. MANAGER Buyer/Decorator/Retail Sales. Are you bright? Accurate? Love to help people? Good with color & design? We'll train you in our supportive, small team setting. Tempo Home Furnishings, 985-8776.

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BARTENDER(S) WANTED for night club in Waitsfield. 496-3835. BREAD DELIVERY positions avail, at Red Hen Baking Co. Travel Vermont while delivering good, organic food! Call Randy or Liza at 2 4 4 - 0 9 6 6 .

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DO YOU LIKE SPORTS? ' Hockey/Snowboarding. Work in warehouse for one of your favorite sports manufacturing companies. Forklift exp. preferred. M-F, 8-5, $8-$9. Great job! Call today for an interview. Spherion, 864-5900. FURNITURE DELIVERY. Are you a safe driver, well-organized, friendly, handy with tools, able to do heavy moving? Call Tempo Furniture, 9 8 5 - 8 7 7 6 . HAIR WRAPPERS WANTED. Experience necessary. Call 6572 7 7 5 for details. Calls taken 7/28 & 7/29 only. INTERESTED in a political career? Apply for the 2 0 0 0 Democratic Campaign Mgmt. Program. Housing/living stipend. Learn the nuts and bolts of campaigning from top political consultants while electing progressive Democrats to Congress. Qualified graduates placed in full-time, salaried positions around the country. Call (773) 5 3 9 - 3 2 2 2 . (AAN CAN)

LEONARDO'S PIZZA hiring Drivers & Pizza Makers. See Dave at 1160 Williston Rd. ; S. Burl, or Shannon at 8 3 Pearl St., Burl. LIFEGUARD, BARTENDER positions. Quarry Hill Club, 862-5200. MOBILIZE DEMOCRATS for Victory in 2 0 0 0 ! Work key Congressional races and the Presidential swing districts nationwide, including California and the NYC Metropolitan Area. Political training from top professionals. Housing/Living Stipend. Job placement upon completion of program. Call 773-539-3222. (AAN CAN) NATIONAL HIGHWAY safety group seeks field organizers. DC based, involves travel. Political field experience required. Competitive salary; generous benefits. Fax resume to LeighAnne: 703-535-3322. PAINTERS & HELPERS. Top dollar, benefits. Experience, tools, license, car required. John, 865-0966. PERMANENT full-time counter position needed. Apply in person at Mirabelles, 198 Main St., Burlington. POLITICAL ORGANIZERS—Help mobilize the African- American vote to take back the House in 2 0 0 0 ! Receive political training from top professionals. Minorities and women encouraged to apply. Call 773-539-3222. (AAN CAN) PROGRAM COORDINATOR: Statewide organization, dedicated to the civic purposes of higher education, seeks program coordinator. Manage & develop service learning programs, provide outreach & support to colleges, facilitate collaboration. Competitive salary & benefits. Letter, resume, references & statement of service learning philosophy by 8/4 to Amy McGlasban, Vermont Campus Compact, 152 Maple St., Suite G-01, Middlebury, VT 0 5 7 5 3 . 443-2510. RECORDING ENGINEER, Film & Television, Radio Announcer. No experience required. On-the-job training. Recording studios, film companies, radio stations. Parttime, Nights, Weekends. Free video 1-800-295-4433. CareerConnection2000.com (AAN CAN)

Government Relations Specialist The Lake Champlain Regional Chamber of Commerce is seeking an energetic individual to work with our Government Relations Director on our year-round government affairs program. Responsibilities will include lobbying during the legislative session, providing staff support for Chamber committees and functions, research on legislative and regulatory issues and collecting and compiling survey data. Excellent written and oral communication skills, strong research abilities, knowledge of state and local issues and computer skills required. Bachelor's degree and relevant experience preferred. Send resume, cover letter and list of references by July 31st to: S.Laren, L C R R C , 60 Main Street, Suite 100, Burlington, V T 05401. EOE. No phone calls please. COMMERCE

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• business opps $15-45/HR. POTENTIAL. Country's most established medical/dental billing software company trains people to process claims from home. Must own computer. 1-800-223-1149 ext. 419. (AAN CAN) BARTENDERS: Make $100$ 2 5 0 per night. No experience necessary. Call 1-800-981-8168 ext. 5000. (AAN CAN) CANDLE LOVERS WANTED: Need extra cash? ($20/hr. and up!) Like to set your own schedule? (No problem, you're the boss!) Become a consultant for our party plan today to receive your FREE starter kit. Call 8645628. EARN $ 1 2 0 0 - $ 1 5 0 0 monthly PT or $ 4 0 0 0 + monthly FT. Will Train. Dealerships Available. 2 4 hr. recorded Info. 8 8 8 - 5 3 3 - 0 2 2 8 ONLINE VT MUSIC SHOP. Largest selection of Vermont music available is at www.bigheavyworld.com! VT bands with CDs to consign call, 800-303-1590. PERFECT PART-TIME home business. 2 hrs./day earns you unlimited income. 1-800521-9487.

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THE CITY OF BURLINGTON, Vermont is seeking a highly motivated activist: Economic Development Specialist administers business loan fund and provides technical assistance to small businesses. $600/week & comprehensive benefits. For job description: (802) 8 6 5 - 7 1 4 5 . EOE. (AAN CAN) VTS FINEST PRIVATE Entertainment service seeking attractive, educated, articulate individuals for part-time evening employment. Call Tracy 863-9510, 7-10 p.m. WRITERS WANTED Themestream seeks writers of all kinds and experience levels to publish their writing on the Web, reach thousands of interested readers, and get paid in cash for their work. Visit: http://www.themestream.com or email: employment® themestream.com to become a Themestream author. (AAN CAN)

Circulation Driver Needed Distribute SEVEN DAYS NEWSPAPER to stores from South Burlington to Richmond. Must be available Wednesday mornings and afternoons and have a van or a large station wagon. Good pay based on mileage and number of dropsites. Potential to earn more. Start ASAP. Call Hope @ 864-5684.

7D classifieds page 5 6

• 864.5684

SEVEN DAYS

•

-july 2 6 , 2 0 0 0

classified@sevendaysvt.com

WINDOW TREATMENTS. Own your own business! Our custom work includes a full line of draperies & decorating accessories. Established 18 years in the greater Burl. area. Can be home-based. Will train. 3725372.

• announcements DEMOCRATIC CAMPAIGN 2 0 0 0 . Political activists needed to take back the House in 2 0 0 0 ! While working on a top-targeted Congressional race, our training program covers every aspect of modern political campaigning. Housing/living stipend. Job placement upon completion of program. Minorities & women encouraged to apply. Call 773539-3222. (AAN CAN) YOUR CLASSIFIED AD printed in more than 100 alternative papers like this one for just $ 9 5 0 . 0 0 ! To run your ad in papers with a total circulation exceeding 6.5 million copies per week, call Hope at Seven Days, 8 6 4 - 5 6 8 4 . No adult ads. (AAN CAN)

• automotive 1989 MAZDA 3 2 3 hatchback. 120K mi., great body, new tires plus four snows. Well-maintained. One owner. $ 1 5 0 0 . Call 951-1733.

• real estate 2 0 ACRES of beautiful Texas land. 2 5 miles east of booming El Paso. Roads, surveyed, references. $ 8 9 9 5 , 0 Down, $89/month. Money-back guarantee. No Qualifying. 1-800-8437 5 3 7 . www.sunsetranches.com (AAN CAN)

• housingforrent BURLINGTON: 2-bdrm., hdwd. firs., W/D, gas heat, parking. $750/mo. + utils. Avail. 8/1. 434-5101.

SHE WAS THE F l R S T T o T K Y IT, A N P I T W o R K E P W o N P E f Z S .

BURLINGTON: Charming 3 bdrm. house at end of quiet culde-sac. Woodstove. Jacuzzi tub. Basement. Garage. Beautiful Perennial gardens. Near Ethan Allen Park. No smokers. Prof./grad. students only. 9/1. $1500/mo. 8 6 4 - 7 3 7 3 . BURLINGTON: Very nice house near downtown. Parking, W/D, yard. No pets or smokers. $1300/mo. + utils. Avail. 9/1. 8 6 2 - 6 7 8 2 . eve. WINOOSKI: 2-bdrm. hdwd. firs., quiet neighborhood, off-street parking, no pets/smoking. Owneroccupied duplex. $1000/mo. incl. heat. 6 5 4 - 8 5 6 7 . WINOOSKI: 3-bdrm., enclosed porch, eat-in kitchen. No pets/smoking. Avail. 9/1. $850/mo. 6 5 4 - 8 5 6 7 .

• housemates BURLINGTON: Avail. 8/1. Roommate (NS preferred) wanted to share downtown 2-bdrm. apt., off-street parking, laundry. No pets. $ 3 0 0 +1/2 +dep. Call 864-7426. BURLINGTON: 2 prof, fun, active 2 5 + women looking for responsible male to share 3bdrm large downtown apt. w/d parking incl. $383/mo. Call 652-0783. BURLINGTON: M/F roommate desired for spacious 1-bdrm. in a 2-bdrm. apt. on Clark St. Short walk to UVM, hospital, etc. Avail. 8/1. $310/mo. + 1/2 utils. No pets/smoking. Call Meghan, 863-4856. BURLINGTON: Prof./grad. F to share 2-floor, 2-bdrm. apt. on Church St. Non-smoker, no pets. W/D, brick walls, high ceiling, air. $450/mo.+utils. 8 6 0 - 4 9 5 7 . BURLINGTON: Walking distance to UVM, Champlain, downtown. 1-bdrm. avail, in large house, Jan-June '01. $330/mo. +utils. (413) 6 8 4 - 3 2 6 6 . ~ , ESSEX JCT.: Looking for prof, or grad. student, gay-friendly, 2 adjoining rooms, 10 min. from UVM, phone, line cable, W/D, $400/mo.+ 1/4 utils., dep., refs., lease. Avail. 8/1. 8 7 9 - 5 7 2 3 .

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• housing • stuff • music • housemates MORETOWN: Compatible roommate for sunny, country home. Like critters, trails nearby, garden space? $285/mo. covers utils., cable TV, W/D for smaller bedroom. 802-496-2369. WILLISTON: Dog-loving Prof, wanted to share ranch house. Non-smoker, no additional pets. $375/mo. + 1/2 utils. Jean, 879-0201 (h) or 658-8426, ext. 227 (w).

WILLISTON: Great place in the country for a good-humored, neat & responsible F. Gay-friendly household in a private setting w/easy access to hiking, biking & ski trails. No pets please. $450/mo. + shared utils. Call Dee at 878-0573 (H) or 8651373 (W). WINOOSKI: F, non-smoker to share 3-bdrm. townhouse. Must like cats $225/mo. + 1/3 + deposit. Call Laurie 655-7555.

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• buy this stuff

• music

COMPATIBLES: Singles meet by being in the same place as other singles. We've made this the best time to connect you. Details, 863-4308. www.compatibles.com.

$500 UNTIL PAYDAY! Bad Credit? No credit? No problem! Call today, cash tomorrow. Fast phone approval! 1-877-4-PAYDAY. (AAN CAN) CREDIT REPAIR! As seen on TV. Erase bad credit legally. Results guaranteed. Free 8 mins. of recorded info. (Toll free) 877779-7377. (AAN CAN) $$$ OVERDUE BILLS? Consolidate Debts! Same day approval. Cut payments to 50%!! Bad credit OK. No application fees. 800-863-9006 Ext. 838 www.help-pay-bills.com (AAN CAN)

2 CONCERT TICKETS for Santana at Montreal Molson Center, 8/8. Sold-out show. Call Brenda, 862-5940. BEDROOM SET. Queen/King cherry wood. All dovetailed & metal glide drawers. Woman's dresser, tri-mirror, chest, night stand. Never opened, still in boxes. Cost $4995, sell all $2250. 658-4955. CHICKENS. Certified organic. Pasture-raised. USDA-inspected. Frozen. $2.50/lb. Still Pond Farm. 948-2555. FOR SALE: Set of 4 dressers + matching mirror. Great condition. Used 6 months. $350, neg. 658-6008.

AD ASTRA RECORDING. Got music? Relax. Record. Get the tracks. 20+ yrs. Exp. from stage to studio. Tenure Skyline Studios, NYC. 24-track automated mixdown. lst-rate gear. Wide array of keyboards, drums, more. Ad Astra, building a reputation of sonic integrity. 872-8583. ANALOG 2-track reel-to-reel machine. MCI w/power conditioner and adjustable mic preamps. Includes 7 reels of unused tapes & more. $800. 425-5759. ANALOG/DIGITAL RECORDING STUDIO. Dogs, Cats & Clocks Productions. Warm, friendly, prof, environment. Services for: singer/songwriters, jingles, bands. New digital mastering/recording. Call Robin, 658-1042. BASS GUITAR. BLVD. Fine used bass equipment. Warwick Fortress 1, 4-string, mint condition, $925. Gibson USA Lef Paul bass, 4-string, good condition, $550. GNL L-1500, 4-string, mint condition, $700. Dan Electro Longhorn w/tweed case, 4-string, mint condition, $200. Ken Smith, custom burner, 4string, mint condition, $1100. Ken Smith BSRJ-G, 5-string, mint condition, $1720. Electra Harmonex Bass Balls effect unit, $75. Buying quality basses and amplification. New units in weekly. Gall Jay in Townhill Rd., Wolcott, 888-7458. CALLIOPE MUSIC— Full repair service & restoration of all string instruments. Authorized warranty service: Fender, Guild, Martin, Taylor, Takamine. 20 yrs. exper. 202 Main St., Burl. 863-4613. DRUMMER WANTED for original Fun/World/Rock by Montpelier group, Ekis. Gigs & rehearsals regularly. Call Jay, 229-9942. IMAGINATIVE GUITARIST needed for versatile project. Live performance experience preferred. Great opportunity for dedicated player. Must have lots of good ju ju. 864-4580.

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By LLOYD DANG,LE THE REPUBLICANS WILL W God/ PROP 2 9 0 , 0 0 0 WALLOONS WHY O / o y o u EVEN AT THIS CONVENTION, 'went/ON WHICH IS 5% MORE NAPEP, THAN THE DEMOCRATS AND 100% MOFIB THAN. ELAINE?/*

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• misc. services

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ESCORT COOL ON HIGHWAY, HOT IN TRAFFIC Dear Tom and Ray: I have a 1993 Escort LX hatchback that runs hot when sitting in slow traffic or at an extended stoplight. It has never overheated', but merely moves into the high range. As soon as I return to highway driving, it drops back down below the halfway point. It usually heats up when I have to creep along on the highway or on an o f f ramp. I live in the Deep South, and I'm worried about it overheating in the noonday sun. Is my thermostat shot? My water pump? Is this normal? I'm an historian with a history of automotive cluelessness. Help! — Dan T O M : You m a y not k n o w this, D a n , b u t m y brother is an historian, too. In fact, his college thesis was "Unexplained C h e a p Car Temperature Variations in Late 20th C e n t u r y America: A Social, Historical, and Metaphysical Analysis." RAY: From a historical perspective, I'd be inclined to look at the fan, D a n . T h e

problem seems to happen w h e n you slow d o w n after highway driving. A n d that's w h e n you've built u p the greatest a m o u n t of heat in the engine, b u t have no natural breeze blowing through the radiator. T O M : W h e n you're driving at highway speed, you're creating a "natural" fan, and the engine runs at its normal temperature.

HAIR STYLIST: The one and only Tim Melow. "This cat is tuned into hair like I am tuned into housecleaning," says Diane H., housekpr. to the stars. Schedule with Tim at Haircrafters, 8634871. HOUSE CLEANING. Experienced, reliable. Reasonable rates. Free estimates. Call Karen, 893-7105. PSYCHICS HOLD THE KEY to your future! Call today! 1-900267-9999, ext. 8113 $3.99/min. Must be 18 yrs. USERV. (619) 645-8434 SOCIAL SECURITY Attorney, Lamb & Assoc. In consultation w/Richard Renaud, former social security Dist. Mgr., 30+ experience. Free Consultation. No fees unless you receive benefits. 800760-9934 or 865-6065. TEACH ENGLISH ABROAD. 4 week TEFL training course in Barcelona or Prague for $1500. Guaranteed job/lifetime assistance. Graduated over 1000 Teachers. Contact ITC 1-800915-5540. www.itc-training.com info@itc-training.com (AAN CAN) WANT A CIVIL UNION performed? But who to ask? Justice of the peace willing and ready to perform your civil union. Call Maggie 685-3058.

FOUR BARREL microbrewery for sale. Kettle, conditioning tank, wort chiller, kegs. $15,000. 496-3835. MATTRESS and 2 boxes. King size. Double-sided orthopedic pillow top. Brand new, in plastic. Cost $1295, asking $465. Can deliver. Call 802-658-5031.

WOLFF TANNING BEDS TAN AT HOME BUY DIRECT & SAVE! COMMERCIAL/HOME UNITS FROM $199 LOW MONTHLY PAYMENTS FREE COLOR CATALOG CALL TODAY 1-800-711-0158

• art ATTN! VISUAL ARTISTS get your work published in free publication. Call Broke magazine at 864-2393 or email: brokemag@hotmail.com. Serious inquiries only. FEMALE ARTIST MODEL needed for Monday mornings, 9-12. Starting 8/14, in Essex town. Payment is $12/hr. for classical nude poses. Call Julie, 878-0644.

TEAC A-2340 SX 4-channel, reel to reel recorder. Good condition. $100. Call David, 434-4113.

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Foote-Pedal, in 1995. A man was having a similar overheating problem, and his mechanic finally discovered that his fan m o t o r was dying and the fan was turning too slowly. T h i s would create a similar situation, where you'd be fine at highway speed when the fan was unnecessary, but you'd run hot when you need the full force of the fan to cool the engine. T O M : That's more rare, D a n , but if a new coolant temperature sensor doesn't fix it, at least ask your mechanic to check the fan speed. And if he doesn't believe your story, tell h i m to write to us and we'll send him the complete bibliography.

RAY: So checking the archives, I c o m e across two similar situations. O n e took place up N o r t h , on June 4, 1996. It was d o c u m e n t e d by historian Doris Kearns G o o d w r e n c h in her n o w f a m o u s book, Ford Escorts: What Crap. T h i s particular overheating problem is k n o w n as the "1996 shortcycling incident." T O M : W h e n a fan is short cycling, it's not staying on long enough to properly cool the engine. T h e cause tends to be a bad coolant temperature sensor, which is what signals the fan to c o m e on and off. So you might have your mechanic try replacing the C T S . It's cheap.

Dear Tom and Ray: I have a '96 Cadillac Seville SLS. The problem is smoke coming out of the steering column. I've had the car back to the dealer about three times for this, and the mechanics still can't fix it. Smoke comes out around the steering wheel, and the column gets hot near the hazard-light switch. The dealer said there was too much grease on the turn-signal switch, causing the smoke. Does that sound plausible to you? I worry about the car catching fire.

RAY: T h e other f a m o u s case was d o c u m e n t e d by a famous Southern historian, Shelby

— Clete RAY: I'd worry, too, Clete. Smoke from the steering col-

u m n is not a problem you'd expect to have on a $ 4 5 , 0 0 0 car. I mean, if m y brother's '52 M G smoked f r o m the steering wheel, I wouldn't be too concerned. T O M : Concerned? Hardly! I'd have heat! RAY: Unfortunately, the "too m u c h grease" story smells of bull feathers. O f all the customers' cars I've set fire to over the years, n o n e of t h e m went up in smoke because I used too m u c h grease. Grease can't cause a fire ... it has to be ignited by something else. T O M : A n d m y guess, in your case, is that it's the directional switch. W e had a customer with a similar vintage Chevy Ltimina, and his directional switch had to be replaced three times (for free) by the dealer because it was causing the same problem. Now, it's certainly possible that the heat from the directional switch is heating up some grease on the contacts and causing the smoke, b u t the switch shouldn't be getting that hot in the first place. RAY: Take it back to your dealer — or another dealer — and ask him to try a new directional switch. Tell h i m there A R E things you enjoy smoked ... like salmon ... b u t your steering column is not one of them.

Carpool Connection Call 8 6 4 - C C T A to respond to a listing or to be listed. COLC. to CAMP JOHNSON: I am hoping that someone can help me out on my short commute. My hours are very varied— either I work 4 pm-12 am or 12am-8am. I work M-F & sometimes on the wknds. as well. (3299) EDEN to IBM: I am lookin for a ride to IBM. I work the N-l shift (7pm-7am). (3298) BOLTON/RICHMOND P&R to WINOOSKI: I am looking for a ride to work and would be happy to share in cost of gas. My hours are 7-5:30, M-TH. (3295) BURL, to IBM: I need a ride to work! I work the D1 shift — same as the D7 which is 7am to 7pm. (3296) UNDEHILL to BURL.: I would be able to drive someone to Burl, or back to Underhill, if your hours fit into my schedule somehow. I work 7:30-9:00 am & 5:30-7:30pm. (3287)

CHARLOTTE/HINESBURG to MILTON: I am looking for a ride to work in Milton — even if you can only take me one way, I would appreciate it! I can be at work anytime between 6-7:30 am and work until 5:00 pm. M-F. (3288) S. BURL to IBM: I am looking for a ride to work. I work th N8 shift, which is 7 pm-7 am varying days. (3286) CHARLOTTE/N. FERRISBG to BURL.: I am looking to share driving to work. My hrs.: 9-5:30, M-F. (3273) MILTON to BURL.: I am looking for a ride to work to my new job. My hours are 7:454:00 pm, M-F. (3274) RICHMOND P&R to ST. MIKE'S: I am hoping to share driving w/someon to work. I can meet at the P&R between 7-7:30 and can depart work anytime between 4:30515. M-Th. (3271)

V s n w i U P n l

JERICHO to ESSEX: I work at IBM and need a ride home from work. I get off work at 3:30pm. M-F and live on Lee River Rd. (3264) SO. BURL to SO. BURL.: I am looking for a ride to work on Community Drive. My hours are 8:30am5:00pm. M-F with some flexibility. (3266) ESSEX JCT. to ESSEX JCT.: I am looking for a ride on my short, 4 mile commute to work. I work 7am-3:30pm. M-F. (3263) HINESBURG to ESSEX: I work the D1 shift at IBM and . would like to share driving w/someone. (3260) JERICHO to COLCH.: I would like to share driving w/someone on my daily commute. I need to be at work b/w 8-9am and I work until 5pm. M-F. (1189)

A i d e AsKDTtflC h a r•>eQCTA Route from: Burlington & Richmond Commuter Lot Monthly Fare: $85 Work Hours: 7:30 to 4 25 p m. Contact: Carl Bohlen Phone: 828-5215

7D classifieds • 864.5684 •

IlitlRf

ciassified@sevendaysvt.com

;iuly % 2 0 0 0

% SEVEN J1AYS

m ?

leeals Sec. 9-7. Removal of rubbish. Gordonoro or othoro employed by lot ownoro to plont floworo or ohrubo. All persons shall remove all trash and rubbish to such places of deposit as are provided for that purpose and carry on their work as provided for that purpose under the direction of the superintendent. Sec. 9-8. Workers subject to superintendent's direction. All workers employed in any capacity in the cemeteries shall be subject to the direction and control of the superintendent and any worker who does not regard the regulations or the proprieties of the comoterios cemetery shall not be permitted to enter, or remain in the cemetery. Sec. 9 - 1 3 Firearms prohibited. Firearms shall not be permitted within the cemetery grounds, except for full military burial or any honored burial. Re: Police, Fire and EMT. Sec. 9 - 1 4 Dogs prohibited. No dogs shall be permitted within the cemetery grounds, except as required bv law. Sec. 9 - 1 8 Soliciting business prohibited.

• music instmcL BANJO: Learn old-time style pickin' and strummin'. Emphasis on rhythm, technique, musicality. $20/hr. Call Mara, 8 6 2 - 3 5 8 1 . GUITAR: All styles/levels. Emphasis on developing strong technique, thorough musicianship, personal style. Paul Asbell (Unknown Blues Band, Kilimanjaro, Sklar/Grippo, etc.), 862-7696.

• legals In the Year Two Thousand An Ordinance in Relation to Cemeteries It is hereby Ordained by the City Council of the City of Burlington, as follows: That Chapter 9, Cemeteries, of the Code of Ordinances of the City of Burlington be and hereby is amended by amending Sections 9-1, 9-5, 9-7, 9-8, 9 - 1 3 , 9-14, 9 - 1 8 , 9-20, and 9 - 2 1 thereof to j e a d as follows: *Sec. 9-1. Hours open. Lakeview Cemetery shall be open from 7am until dusk one-half hour after sunset throughout the year. Greenmount and Elmwood Cemeteries shall be open from 7.-30 om until 3 : 3 0 pm 7 am until pne-hglf hour after sunset during the summer season only except during the winter seasonwhen such cemeteries shall be closed. All persons shall leave the grounds at closing times, and Shall npt be on grounds, except with permission of the Superintendent or Commission. Sec. 9-5. Removal of offensive objects authorized. Only those objects which are approved bv the Cemetery Department may be placed on cemetery grounds. If anything shall be placed on any lot in violation of this chapter, the superintendent shall have the right [, and it ohall bo hio duty,] to remove any such object.

tion. a person who violates this chapter shall be removed from the cemetery. Any police officer may issue a municipal complaint ticket for violation of these ordinances. * Materials stricken out deleted. Materials underlined added. Ib/EMB/c: Ordinances 2000/Cemeteries Chapter 9 3/2 l / 0 0 ; 7 / l 1/00 State of Vermont Chittenden County, SS. Denyse Hansburg, Plaintiff vs. Molly McDonald Defendant Civil Action Docket No. 2 2 9 - 0 0 CnC Summons & Order for Publication To the above named defendant: You are hereby summoned and required to serve upon Todd D. Schlossberg, Esq., plaintiff's attorney, whose address is 7 4 Main Street, PO. Box 984, Burlington, Vermont 0 5 4 0 2 , an Answer to plaintiff's Complaint in

No person shall canvaos for orders or diotributo solicit for business eafds within the grounds of the cemetery. Sec. 9 - 2 0 Entry of florists on Sunday restricted. Florists or their employees are prohibited from entering the cemetery grounds on Sunday for business purposes, except to place floworo permitted items on lots.

the above entitled action within forty-one (41) days of the first publication of this Summons, which is August 22, 2000. If you fail to do so, judgment by default will be taken against you for the relief demanded in the Complaint. Your Answer must also be filed with the Court. Unless otherwise provided in Rule 13(a), your Answer must state as a Counterclaim any related claim which you may have against the plaintiff, or you will thereafter by barred from making such claim in any other action. YOUR ANSWER MUST STATE SUCH A COUNTERCLAIM WHETHER OR NOT THE RELIEF DEMANDED IN THE COMPLAINT IS FOR DAMAGE COVERED BY A LIABILITY INSURANCE POLICY UNDER WHICH THE INSURER HAS THE RIGHT OR OBLIGATION TO CONDUCT THE DEFENSE. Plaintiff's action is to recover damages for personal injuries suffered in a February 23, 1999

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Sec. 9 - 2 1 Penalty for violations. Unless a specific penalty has otherwise been provided, any violation of this provision of this chapter shall be deemed a civil offense punishable as provided in City Code Section 1-9. In addi

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LEGALS

It's just that when I wake up to a hissing goat skull on my nightstand, and it hops off and runs across the floor on spider legs, I sleep a lot better knowing where it ran off to.

kids • not for the kids • not for the kids • not for the kids • not 1 8 + ONLY, P L E A S E

incident at Killington Ski Area, Killington, Vermont. A copy of the Complaint is on file and may be obtained at the office of the Clerk of the Superior Court for the County of Chittenden, State of Vermont. If appearing from Verified Motion duly filed in the above entitled action that service cannot be made with due diligence by any of the methods prescribed in V.R.C.P. 4(d) through (f) inclusive, it is hereby ORDERED that service of the above process shall be made upon Defendant, Molly McDonald, by publication pursuant to V.R.C.P. 4(g). This order shall be published once a week for two consecutive weeks on Wednesday July 12, 2 0 0 0 , and Wednesday July 26, 2 0 0 0 in Seven Days. A copy of this Order shall also be mailed to Defendant last known addresses: PO Box 4 Killington, Vermont, and 4 8 3 Erskine Road, Stamford, Connecticut. Dated at Burlington, Vermont this 3 0 day of June 2000. Hon. Matthew I. Katz

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7D classifieds • 864.5884 • SEVEN DAYS

classified@sevendaysvt.com

july26, 2 0 0 0 '

7D classifieds •

864.5684

wellness

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TRANQUIL CONNECTION MASSAGE THERAPY: Swedish massage, peaceful get-a-way, take time for quiet time to connect to your inner wisdom. Calming. Nerves unravel. Stress gone. Private setting. Makes unique gift. Opt. spa for pre-session relax. 1.5 hrs.—$75. 2 hrs.— $95. $ 3 0 special every Mon. Cert, therapist. 10 am-8 pm, MF. Sat. flex. 2 8 8 - 1 0 9 3 . TREAT YOURSELF TO 7 5 mins. of relaxation. Deep therapeutic massage. $50/sess. Gift certificates. Located in downtown Burl. Flex, schedule. Aviva Silberman, 872-7069.

• herbs

pibessiings

PURPLE SHUTTER HERBS: Burlington's only full-service herb shop. We carry only the finest herbal products; many of them grown/produced in VT. Featuring over 4 0 0 bulk dried herbs/tinctures. 100 Main St., Burl. 8 6 5 HERB. Hours: Mon.-Sat., 10-6.

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• massage BILL COIL, 6 5 8 - 2 3 9 0 ext. 2. See display ad. LAURA LUCHINI, 8 6 5 - 1 2 3 3 . See display ad. THERAPEUTIC MASSAGE. Invigorating and relaxing for body & mind, at the Massage Studio, on Church St. Receive $ 1 0 off your first session! Gift certificates avail. Call Bonnie Anderson, 660-7029.

• men's health PENIS ENLARGEMENT.NET FDA approved vacuum pumps or surgical. Gain 1 - 3 " . Permanent, safe. Resolve impotence. Free brochures. Call Dr. Joel Kaplan, 3 1 2 - 4 0 9 - 9 9 9 5 . Latest enlargement info, 1-900-976-PUMP ($2.95/min.).

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ROLFING ASSOC., 8 6 5 - 4 7 7 0 . See display ad.

La Stone Therapy

WELLNESS GUIDES, 8 7 9 3 4 2 3 . See display ad. WIZZRD OF AHS. Excellent massage. $50. Dave Riddle, massage therapist. S. Burlington, VT. 8 6 2 2669.

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july 2 6 , M O O , , »*

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ARIES (Mar. 21-Apr. 19): Plato believed that besides eating, sleeping, breathing and mating, every creature has an instinctual need to periodically leap u p into t h e air for n o other reason than because it feels so good. Please indulge frequently in this pleasure in the c o m i n g days, Aries. If I had m y way, you wouldn't stop there. You'd also give yourself generously to the joys of hopping, skipping, playing tag, staging three-legged races, mixing soup and Pepsi and beer and milk in a

the five-minute epic conversation. You cannot possibly p l u m b the inexhaustibly rich depths of casual, frivo-

source of your tribulations is n o w

b u t try anyway.

CANCER (June 21-July 22):

you thoroughly extract what's truly useful from every experience you take

cry. " M a n y adults have to relearn h o w to be playful," says Suzy May, a fitness instructor w h o helps teach a class

Perhaps you could achieve the same effect by using a felt-tip marker to draw symbolic pictures on your belly

called "Recess" at a health resort in the Berkshires. It's high time for you

of nuclear war breaking out or an asteroid striking the Earth or a loved

to take a crash course.

one misunderstanding you. T h e point, m y dear Cancerian, is to make f u n of your fears with such relentlessly

is currently obsessed with. D o you realize what this means, Taurus? You must n o t get caught up in the fantasy that there is only one correct answer! By understanding and accepting the profusion of truths, you will be able to access that state of m i n d k n o w n as "fuzzy genius" — and will already be halfway towards clarifying what's out of focus.

self-mocking h u m o r that you scare t h e m completely out of your system.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Have you been m a d e to feel guilty for your love of channel-surfing? Are you tired of slowpokes asking you not to talk, move and m u t a t e so fast? D o you wish people were m o r e willing to accompany you on your sudden, darting leaps of logic? If so, Gemini, this could be a t r i u m p h a n t week. T h e quick-change approach to life will be rewarded as never before. You will reap surprising help whenever you reveal the spiritual power of acting unpredictable. M i n o r miracles will unfold as you demonstrate the art of

in? D o you have a passion for understanding the difference between what will nourish you and what should be flushed away? Are you committed to the work of keeping your intestines healthy, knowing this is crucial to maintaining your mental hygiene? D u r i n g the next few weeks, these questions will lead you to sparkling meditations.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For some people, luxury may indeed consist, <\s Jack Smith suggests in the June

the history books of the future will

2 0 0 0 Robb Report, of wearing a cust o m - m a d e silk and cashmere shirt while sipping a bottle of Chateau

give contradictory accounts of your

Petrus Pomerol and lounging in teak

recent exploits. Some will maintain

garden furniture on a hand-knotted Doris Leslie Blau rug aboard a 145foot Christensen yacht. For you,

L E O

(July 23-Aug. 22): I believe

that you were in exile in hell. Others will say you were on a heavenly vacation. My own personal view is that you managed to visit heaven and hell simultaneously. All the grief and joy were crushed together; all the splendor and rot. In fact, because of your

* *

g y

could write reams on this subject, but here's a start: Digestion is a central metaphor in every Virgo's life. H o w can

lous, lightweight diversions this week,

h o m e video of yourself being chased by a giant, fire-breathing sock puppet.

are at least 3 5 5 0 different solutions to

i u

o r \ i

brate? This is a perfect m o m e n t to h o n e in on it, seeing as h o w the

blender and daring each other to

the dilemma which your higher m i n d

waste." So said m y best teacher, Paul Foster Case, in his book The Tarot. I

drink it, and making love with such rowdy f u n that you laugh until you

By m y astrological calculation, there

| !

This would be a perfect astrological m o m e n t for you to create a two-hour

TAURUS (Apr. 2 0 - M a y 20):

though, Libra, I would guess that the deluxe splendor you harvest this week will involve subtler, less garish glories — like for instance receiving a gush of appreciation for your long, hard work.

than ever that heaven and hell are

O r winning friends and influencing people you've been courting for many

actually located in the same place, or

moons.

wonderful ordeal, I now believe more

at least that there's a huge zone where they overlap. Given h o w strong this

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21):

experience has m a d e you, it shouldn't

If you've ever watched " T h e Simp-

take you more than a few days to

sons" T V show, you've probably heard

recuperate. T h e n it'll be time to take

H o m e r Simpson's favorite toast. "To

inventory of h o w completely you've

alcohol," he proclaims. " T h e cause of

changed.

and solution to all of life's problems." My own ultimate salute is a little dif-

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):

ferent. "To the Divine Trickster," I

"Virgo rules the intestines, where

cry, "also known as God: the cause of

digestion is completed, and where the

and solution to all of life's problems."

final selection is m a d e between assimi-

W h a t about you, Scorpio? W h a t con-

lable material and what is rejected as

f o u n d i n g beauty are you ready to cele-

ready to provide you with the cure for its maddening dilemmas.

resembled k.d. lang's. " O h yes,"

I replied. "I've been teaching the doctrine of lustful compassion everywhere I go." Just then I noticed that another prodigy had materialized in the pool. An eight-armed god with a huge orange afro was floating in the Jello on the back of another lion. "Tell Aquarians to be like me," the goddess squealed ecstatically, whereupon she dove into

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22- the pool and embraced the god. Dec. 21): I have no objection to you pushing to become biggerbraverfaster, Sagittarius. It makes perfect sense, given the fiercely expansive astrological m o o d you're now enjoying. N o r do I see anything inherently insane about seeking adventures that will push you fartherstrongerwilder or higherdeeperlonger. All I ask is that you tone and balance your brash extremism with the quest for wiserquietermoister insights. OK? Be lyrically outrageous.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22Jan. 19): O n c e a year, Vancouver, B.C., hosts the International ThreeDay Novel-Writing Contest.

"Watch closely," she purred. By the time I awoke, the two deities had reenacted the whole of The Kama Sutra.

PISCES (Feb. 19-Mar. 20): A Florida man, Peter Cordani, believes he can defuse hurricanes using a simple gardener's p r o d u c t called Soil Moist. D r o p tons of the stuff f r o m airplanes into a hurricane's eye, he says, and it'll absorb 2 5 0 times its weight, changing the storm's moisture into a gel that falls harmlessly into the sea. A p r o m i n e n t meteorologist thinks the plan has merit. In a related story, engineers frustrated in their attempts to clean up a nuclear waste site in N e w York have decided to try

Participants are allowed to have a rough outline for their book, but may

zeolite, a substance that soaks up odors and wetness — and that hap-

not begin composing it until the bell rings. For the next 72 hours anything goes — coffee megadoses, crying jags

pens to be the main ingredient in kitty litter. W h a t does this have to do with you? I believe you have access to

unleashed by quarrying painful m e m ories, hallucinatory creativity fueled

a metaphorical equivalent of Soil

by sleeplessness — as the crazed writers churn out finished works of long fiction. Sometime this week, Capricorn, I suggest you apply this droolingly kamikaze approach to a worthy project of your own choice.

Moist and zeolite. Use it to shrink and neutralize the toxic blizzard that threatens you. (Z)

You can call Rob day or night for

expanded

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In my lucid dream last night, I consulted the eight-armed, purplemaned goddess as she hovered astride

weekly

horoscope -900-903-2500

the flying lion over a swimming pool filled with green Jello. "Please give m e

$1.99

an oracle for m y Aquarian readers," I called up to her in a reverent shout.

C/S

"Have you been a good boy?" she singsonged brightly in a voice that

Brezsny, your

per

minute.

and

over.

Touchtone And

don't Rob's

phone. G12/373-9785

forget

to check

Web site

ufMfMHf.freewillastrology.com Updated

Tuesday

smmmmmm

last week's answers ftp P a g e ^ ^

ACROSS 1 Sagan or Sandburg 5 Swarm sound 9 Montana city 14 Monterrey Mrs. 17 '58 Pulitzer winner 18 Piece of fencing? 19 He was T h e Thing" 21 Pipe part 22 WREN 25 Brobdingnagian 26 For — (cheaply) 27 Comic _ Costello 28 — N a Na 29 Mascagni \ opera 30 Poet Wilcox 33 Lohengrin's bird ~ 37 African antelopes 39 LARK 44 "The Optimist's Daughter" author 45 Bonanza material 46 Coveleski or Musial 47 Vichyssoise veggie 49 Tip one's 1 IsU -.- > , topper . ^ ^

51 Long-tailed parrot 54 Sanford of The Jeffersons" 56 Scandinavian city 59 Griffon greeting 61 Fool 63 Missouri airport abbr. 64 Valuable instrument 66 Stowe sight 67 Screenwriter Nora 70 Elf 72 Dash 73 Sarah — Jewett 74 Inland sea 75 QUAIL 78 Depravity 79 Easy stride 80 Bit of gossip 81 Parenthesis shape 82 Physicist Fermi 84 Corset part 85 Alfredo ingredient 87 British big shot 89 Monsarrat's T h e Cruel 90 Tulsa commodity 91 Cheat at hide-andseek —

92 Preposterous 95 Sweetheart 99 Turn over 101 Darjeeling dress 103 Invasion 105 Frankfurter's field 106 Rent 109 CRANE 113 Church official 114 Oriental staple 115 Big rig 116 Channel 117 Actress Hagen 119 Plutarch character 122Tole material 126 Be important 127 PARTRIDGE 133 Actor Novello 134 Kindle 135 Heart burn? 136 Time for a sandwich 137 According ttf 138 German port 139 Racing

3"— Man" ('84 film) 4 Not as fatty 5 Neighbor of Ger. 6 Prosperous times 7 Non-nonchalance? 8 Nil 9 Crank's comment 10 Swiss canton 11 Explosive initials 12 Golfer's gadgets 13 Avoid 14 DUCK 15Toomey or Philbin 16 Iowa city 20 Musty 21 Japanese religion 23 Hard on the eyes 24 Astrology term 31 Brown or Baxter 32 Vino center 34 Corduroy ridge 35 Writer Rogers St. Johns 140 Guy Fri. 36 Formerly known as DOWN 38 Moro of Italy 1 — Grande, . AZ 39 One who no's best? 2 FBI workers

m&% mm,

40 Distinctive period 41 — room 42 Singer Elliot 43 Bete noire 48 Adorable Australian 50 Tenor Corelli 52 One of the Judds 53 Tolstoy title start 55 Coalition 57 Play ground? 58 Bedding 60 At large 62 Word with dog or state 65 "Never on Sunday" star 66 Goodhumored 67 Amatory 68 CARDINAL 69 — Dame 71 Anaconda, for one 74 As well 76 Pursues 77 Coffee pots 83 Ring counter 86 Andretti or Cuomo 88 Fiber source 91 Swamp stuff 93 "Death of a Salesman" . son

94 Pad 96 Ryan's "Love Story" co-star 97 Bud 98 Fluffy female 100 Crime writer Colin 102 PC key 104 SHAEF commander 107 T h e March King" 108 Whole 110 Stamping ground 111 TV award 112 Strauss city 113 Debonair 116 —coffee 118 Energy source 120 One of a pair 121 South Seas novel 123 New Mexico resort 124 John of "Roots" 125 Expected back 128 Bossy's chew 129 Sugary suffix 130 Guys 131 College ^growth 132 Empower

116 126 133 137

•

out

at night.

p s M a n

respond

to a

personal ad

call

I-900-370-712

it? • IP we're open

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guidelines: Anyone

seeking a healthy, non-abusive relationship may advertise in PERSON TO PERSON. Ad suggestions: age range, interests, lifestyle, self-description. Abbreviations may b e u s e d to indicate gender, race, religion and sexual preference. SEVEN DAYS reserves the ; right to edit or reject any ao ads may b e submitted for publication only by, and seeking, persons over 18 years of age.

Call ^

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WILD SNOWBOARDING BABE. SF, 25, 5*10", P ISO tall SM 2 5 - 4 0 , Me and you: attractive, athletic, adventure-seeking, funny, easygoing, spontaneous and honest. Friendship first. Let's hit the slopes together! 3 2 9 8

DWPF, 43, ATTRACTIVE BL HAIR, BL EYES W/ sense o f humor. ISO attractive PM, 4 5 - 5 5 . I enjoy dining out, theater, home renovations, antiquing, travel. ISO someone w h o enjoys the same. 3713

APPLICATIONS TAKEN: APPLY HERE FOR THE position o f friend. Qualifications: S/D, 47+, friendly, positive, active, outdoorsy, intelligent, capable of laughter & exploration. Auditions available. Limitless potential for advancement! 3152

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Dear

Lcla,

Aty sister married years,

SWM, 35. GENTLE, FIT, MATURE. ENJOYS THE outdoors, gardening, cooking, reading. ISO happy, outgoing, environmentally aware SF w h o enjoys life, nature, romantic, garlic dinners & quiet times together. Letters encouraged. 3 9 6 5

HIRSUTE ADMIRER, SWM, ATTRACTIVE, FIT, personable, ISO hirsute F also fit & personable for companionship. Age/race unimportant. 3 9 5 7 SWPM, 29, ATTRACTIVE, ATHLETIC, VERY honest & respectful. I enjoy: hiking, paddling, snowboarding, snuggling & frequent trips to the Flynn. ISO honest, fit, & emotionally mature woman. 3 9 5 5 ARTIST, NEW TO VERMONT (WAITSFIELD) looks forward to hiking, skiing, climbing & indoor stuff. Fit, 52, 5*6". ISO "partner-incrime." 3 9 5 4

has

been

and tor at

least

the last ic, she and have

gotten

seriously

into

dressing

alike. They must dczens

have

cf matching

fjits: white pclc

shirts

light blue sweats,

match-

ing Mickey Mouse Tshirts,

duplicate

fisher-

man sweaters, Hawaiian identical

even

shins linen

jackets.

twin

and evening

As someone

has yet to find heart's

who

her

true love, I feel

that this emphasis

sartorial on their

is a thoughtless

bond

and

cruel reminder

of my

GOT NO CURE FOR THE SUMMERTIME blues? Stop! Look around! Here I come! SWM, 4oish, with lots of ideas, willing t o share w/tall women. Just want to make new friends & share summertime events. 3 7 2 1

with those satisfied

of house, be completely devoted t o you,

cut-

Bermudas,

single status.

DEVOTED TO YOU: SM, 30S, BROWN HAIR,

her

husband

ATTRACTIVE, OUTGOING. FIT 37 DWPM ISO same to share similar likes. Camping, snowboarding, scuba, biking & everything else. Spiritual, artistic, romantic & secure. Free spirits' apply. 3 6 3 4

baby-blue eyes. I will cook, clean, take care

tor nearly

and green

3967

I AM A 20 YO W M ISO SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP w/ older F. If this is you, get back t o me. 3 9 6 3

"S TANNED r ATTRACTIVE, PETITE, 5'4", 105 lbs., long brn/brn. High energy for life & loving. ISO S tanned M, muscular, attractive, w/passion for life. Construction workers, where are you? 4 1 5 9 I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAVENT MET YET! ME: 46, beautiful, comic, caring, sensual. You: ageless, timeless, handsome, strong, spiritual, sensitive, intelligent, open & curious. Let's ta[k. 4158

womon

3632

FIT, FUN, 50ISH F. NOT BITCHY, DONT GET headaches! Loves laughter, cuddling, conversation, closeness. Part devil, part angel. Nature lover. Swing, ballroom dance. ISO clean, happy, fit, fun, intelligent, NS M.

EASYISO S or possible nature,

Aookwq

$1.99 a minute, must be 18+.

SWPM, 50ISH, 6', 225 LBS., HONEST & funny, serious & childlike. ISO attractive, interesting F for friendship & fun in VT (Lake Champlain) in FL (Gulf Coast). 4 1 7 4

DWJF, 49, TALL, ATTRACTIVE, FULL-FIGURED, very feminine, elegant, intelligent. Spiritually oriented, outgoing. Love art, culture and family life. You: 45+, kind, intelligent, worldly, P, stable and good-looking. 3319

HELP! I'M TAKING THE SUMMER OFF & ALL my friends are working. ISO intellectually stimulating, funny, offbeat sidekick, over 4 0 , for local activities and adventures. No "desperadoes" or married M. 3 8 8 9

a day!

HIKE, BIKE, PADDLE, EXPLORE, RELAX: music, films, conversation, nature, nurturing. Vibrant, earthy, passionate SPF seeks joyful, exuberant, fit, slim/athletic NS SPM with integrity, intelligence, curiosity, humor, 3 5 - 5 2 . SAVVY TWENTYSOMETHING SEEKS OUTGOING, vivacious guy for all Vermont's summer indoor/outdoor fun. I need a real teddy bear. Tiny guys, in any way, need not apply! 3 6 3 1

1 - 8 0 0 - 7 1 0 - 8 7 2 7

hours

€ach

time

they show up in

another

set of his 'n' hers smirks

outfits, little

on their faces,

like a dagger through

it's

right

my heart.

I have

tried explaining

point of view to

them,

while you pursue career. ISO F, 20-30S. 3 8 8 8 SEEKING AN ANGEL. TWENTY WORDS CAN not describe how wonderful a SWF is. Give this above-average romantic SWM your consideration. 3 8 9 0 DOT COM, ARTISAN, 37, NS, NA, QUIET, meditative, travel, bike, ski, climb, books, movies. ISO quirky, independent, creative, active, eclectic, crunchy babe-next-door for summer crime wave. Letters welcome. 3 8 8 7 ATTRACTIVE, HONEST, FUN, FIT SWM, 31, 5'5", 140 lbs. ISO SWBiF, 2 4 - 3 5 , 110-140 lbs., attractive, open-minded, outgoing, active, long hair, sexy but discreet dresser to share wonderful, wild nights, dinners, dancing, drive-ins. (I love romance). 3 8 8 0 DPWM. RATIONAL, AFFECTIONATE, OPTIMIST. This good-natured, fit, sociable, mature M ISO independent, self-reliant, fun F, 4 8 - 6 0 , w h o enjoys communicating, shopping, browsing, movies, travel, dining, laughing, & more. 3 8 7 4 SPM, 35, 5'8", FIT/ATHLETIC ISO A ROSE among the thorns. I enjoy it all, indoors & outdoors. If you like kids & a guy w h o works hard & plays hard... you know where to find me. 3 8 6 9

but they say the

problem

is all in my own

mind.

Cven my own

mother

backs them up. Is it too much to ask that

they

show a tittle more tivity

in the way

dress around

sensithey

me?

Alone in Dear

Addison

Alone,

yes. Love,*)

o L O X C t

Or respond t h e old-fashioned w a y : CALL THE 9 0 0 NUMBER.

Call 1-900-370-7127 $1.99/min. m u s t

18+

july 2 6 , 2 0 0 0 *

SEVERN DAYS

page 6 1

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: : * *

SWM, BURL, LATE 50'S. INTERESTED IN meeting other Ms for personal encounters. Age & race unimportant. Cleanliness & discretion is. You won't be disappointed. 4156

ATTRACTIVE, WITTY, NATURIST W LAD, 40S, * ISO smart, hip, exhibitionist lass to photo- * graph at au naturel play. Let's have fun! J

MAWM, 36, 5'9", BROWN HAIR & EYES. ISO BiMs for afternoon adult fun at your house. Must be near Burlington. ISO D/F, med. build, 8"s or better. Short hair, 18-40. 4154

3718

;

SENSITIVE, NURTURING, INTROVERTED SIM, 37. ISO wise, sane (most of the time!) & happy women. I love the outdoors, cafes & classical music. My routine - work, cafe, hiking, sleep - is missing something... or is it my one-and-only? 3717

J * « » • J

WHERE DO TRUE COMPANIONS MEET? ISO my complement. 34, tall, attractive, unconventional, high intelligence, genuine, openhearted, creative, P. You: 25-33, also a human in the wilderness? We, soulmates? Eureka! 3716

J « I » t *

SM, 36, HAS EXTRA TICKET TO BOLTON THip show. ISO cinnamon girl to accompany me to show & other summer activities like hiking, mtn. biking, swimming holes. 3710

* * * *

SWM, 37, 5'9", 175 LBS., ISO SOMEONE younger or older. I hope the person is outgoing and cares about their personal appearance. Can you be the woman of my dreams? 3702

J J » J

ISO YOUNGER F EXPERIENCE. ATTRACTIVE I WM, 42, well-built w/sense of humor. ISO I someone, 18-25, for no-strings summer fun. I Let's both try something different. 3699 * STILL NEED A TOOTHBRUSH. GOOD-LOOK• ING, young 50s. Not an AARP member, 170 I lbs., 5' 10", sense of humor, clean cut, excel-* lent shape. Dancing, VSO, Borders, outdoor J stuff. ISO lady who is not an AARP member. * 3662 I

ion A&dwq

CONVINCE ME I DONT HAVE TO MOVE TO J Northampton to find a girlfriend. Sexy, pro- I gressive femme w/brains, brawn & boyish ; charm seeks clever counterpart, 30+. Passion, for VT a plus. 4173 * GWF, 28, SMOKER, ISO GOOD FRIEND & j lover. Loves to dance and party. Sick of » game playing. Let's get to know each other. »

WPCF, LATE 30S ISO F TO GET TOGETHER t occasionally to fulfill sexual fantasies, must * be discreet, D/D-free. Serious inquiries only. *

4165

BIWF, 22, s'9". ISO Bi or GWF, 18-29, TO : share long walks & sunsets with. Cat lovers J a +, but will tolerate dog lovers. Physical I size unimportant. Movie lovers encouraged J to apply. 3543 » G FOR SUMMER PLAYMATES. Adventuresome, fit L, early 30s, ISO new friends for hiking, Rollerblading, biking, etc. And who knows what else? 3325

* * * j

SEEKING FRIENDSHIP THAT HOPEFULLY leads to romance w/ another SF, 35-50. Prefer positive, kind, gentle and somewhat butch counterpart. Smokers okay. 3306

J * »

BL, 40, SMOKER, GODDESS-ORIENTED. ISO ! depth & deepness. Friends, maybe more. * Likes: Bingo, dog walks, cooking, football, I meaningful conversations, hanging out, etc. «

3138

that obscure object of desire

TIRED OF STEREOTYPES?! GWM, 35, 6', 180 lbs. Handsome, straight-acting, work-out nut, off-beat sense of humor, wide range of interests ISO like-minded adventurers, 25-40, for possiblities? 2925 DELIVERY DRIVERS WANTED! PSM, 43, ISO delivery drivers, 28-40, for some personal package delivery fun! Something about a man in a uniform! Marital status unimportant. NS/ND. 2948

BICURIOUS WM, 29, 6', 180 LBS. Attractive. ISO Bicurious M, under 35, who are looking for the same. Just exploring, no strings. Discretion a must. No letters please. 3971 BEGGING TO PLEASE. SUBMISSIVE M ISO training by dirty, nasty, ripe, raunchy, kinky, stinky dominating M. The dirtier the better!

3969 WIWM, 48, SMOKER. ENJOYS COOKING, NASCAR, canoeing ISO someone to take me from this shell. Would you try? 45+. Will answer all. I work nights. 3885

PCU ISO ATTRACTIVE CU FOR INTIMATE encounters. Discretion a must! 4172

DAY OR NIGHT MEETINGS AT MY PLACE, attractive SWM in Burlington ISO Ma/S masculine M for discreet encounters. Be healthy, clean & muscled. Call or write for details. 3883

FEEL THE NEED FOR SPEED? SWPM SEEKS brother to practice fresh walk-ups and to "sarge" and succeed with the HBs of Burlington. Anyone out there? 4149 SEXY CU, 39 & 50, ISO M, F OR CU FOR intimate play. 4146

GWM, 35, THESPIAN, LOVES BREAKFAST IN bed with the Sunday crossword, Antiques Road Show, reading, pizza on fine china, candlelight dinner on paper plates, also skiing, camping, traveling. 3712

I NEED A DOMINATE TOP, WHO WANTS TO give needed training to a submissive bottom, 48 & above need to reply. 4141 ISO F OR MAF FOR DISCREET, ADULT FUN. Must be height/weight proportional & erotic. I am a M, 6', 175 lbs., athletic build. 3974

ISO MR. RIGHT. I'M 30, P, 6', 170 LBS., handsome, NS Virgo from Burlington that likes to work hard & play hard. ISO likeminded GM, 25-35, for fun & possibilities.

MABICU LOOKING FOR SAME WITH VARIED interests such as literature (Burroughs, Baldwin), music (from punk to funk), and relaxed atmospheres- looking for sex, coffee & conversation; NS/ND preferred. 3959

3707 SM, 6'o", 165 LBS. NEW TO BURLINGTON. Loves sports, movies & the outdoors, ISO adventurous hardy male, 18-35, for serious fun, friendship & more. 3706

LONELY MAPWM, 30. HANDSOME & IN GOOD shape. Sexually unsatisfied, still in love. Would like to dip toes in new water. ISO MaF who feels same. Very discreet. Call or letter. 3892

PERPETUAL TEENAGER REFUSES TO GROW up, 48, 6 ' i " , 175 lbs., athletic, bikes, swims, : hikes, kind, compassionate ISO same. Totally : free, beholden to none. Easy, relaxed times ! await. Love beer. NS. ND. 3692 1 WOOF WOOF! 21, GWMASC s'li" 165 LBS., goatee. Cent. VT. ISO of top, hairy-chested daddy type, 35+, for discreet yet passionate encounters/LTR. Sensitivity & respect a must! 3541

SWM, 40 ISO F, 30-55 TO SENSUALLY arouse and satisfy. Discretion assured. Let's explore the possibilities. Letters OK. 3968 FULL-FIGURED F SOUGHT BY WM FOR discreet encounters. Prefer long hair. Daytime or evenings. I am a giver, definitely love pleasing a woman. 3886

1 M, 29 & F, 30 ISO ATTRACTIVE FS, 18-40, to provide amateur or professional exotic dances. Must be discreet. Will be very appreciative & will respond to all. 3693 ATTRACTIVE COUPLE, HERE FOR SUMMER, 39 & 43, very fit, fun, imaginative, high quality. Enjoy all kinds of summer sports. Want to meet others for quality time. 3297 SUGAR DADDY, WPM ISO SOMEONE SPECIAL to spoil! Have large boat, like to travel and lots of time to play. Open to all comers. Let's get together. 3660

fjhiswdA

MWF ISO FRIEND (ONLY) TO GO TO MOVIES with, the theatre, dancing. Open to gender, sexual preference, appearance. ISO someone who needs a friend. 3142

WIDOWED M, SOMEWHAT BI SENIOR ISO singles, couples, groups to whom age is no barrier to mutual fun & games. Located in Chittenden County but can travel. 3872

LAURIE, I THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME, you're in my heart & on my mind. Give me a chance and you will see how good things can be, with me. 4170

GWM, 52, CENTRAL VT, 250 LBS. ISO BEAR * or cub in area. Love movies, good food, » music, sunsets, walk in the woods, quiet I times, history, ND, NS, LTR, friends? 3527 \

ATTRACTIVE CU ISO THIRD TO SATISFY OUR curiosity. My boyfriend is willing to be involved as much or as little as needed. Discretion is required & promised in return. 3870

MUY RICO MECHANICO IN WILLISTON AREA. I break my car just to see you & you stare at my butt. Want to grab it? Anita. 4167

« * « «

MaWM, 39, SECURE, EDUCATED, MUSICIAN, ISO Ma or SF, for discreet adult fun. Age, race unimportant. Coffee & conversation first. Not a mid-life crisis. 3714

GWM, s'9", 43.160 lbs., P, INDEPENDENTI educator, interested in music, movies, travel- * ling, the outdoors and someone to share life I with. ISO like-minded M, 25-45. LTR/Summer * romance, anyone? 3132 «

CUS & SFS WANTED FOR SWINGERS PARTIES in Buriington. Must be clean, discreet & ND. Gatherings are being planned for the summer. Leave phone number or email for reply. 3711

GWM, 32, ISO GUYS MY AGE OR YOUNGER J who are willing to show me or help explore I the clubs of Boston or Montreal & beyond! 1 3130

HELP MaCU. BOTH IN OUR EARLY 20S. ISO BiF, 21-35, for a fun fantasy. Come take my wife into your arms while I watch. Race not important. 3704

J#Alis«iBecJidel

J&f? J&l!!

Dog Team Rd., Middlebury 388-7651

4167

SM IN BURLINGTON. LOVES THE OUTDOORS, J nature and hot Sundays. ISO friend to share ' the rivers, lakes, nature. Sunbather, skinny- < dipper preferred. 3529 J

INEXPERIENCED GWM, 20, 6', 165 LBS., blonde/blue ISO masculine GWM, 18-30+ who enjoys movies, music, lots of fun and animals. LTR preferred. Excited first-timer ISO friends and a lot more. 3316

and a $25 gift certificate t o jri^jifr

CRAZY CANADIAN ISO EQUALLY ADVENTUROUS person for unabashedly serendipitous deeds. Must be wholesome, hardy & financially independent. 18-35 preferred. 3877

SPM, EARLY 40S, FIT, EDUCATED, RESPONSIVE, not unattractive. ISO petite, thrillseeking MaF who is interested in pursuing some discrete, extracurricular romance this summer. 3715

used • closeout • new 191 Bank St., Burlington 860-0190

THE DOG TEAM TAVERN

I'M A 36 YO, GWM, BLUE/BROWN, 5*10", 175 ; lbs., med. build, looking for discreet encoun-; ters with one or more M between 18-40, ; smooth skin a plus. Will please all. 3540 ;

| I : * *

• The Outdoor Gear CxcKarge •

I BREAK MY CAR JUST TO SEE YOU JUST TO SEE YOU & YOU STARE AT MY BUTT. WANT TO GRAB IT? ANITA.

SUMMER FUN. ATTRACTIVE, 20SOMETHING SBF ISO friendship (only) for movies, 'blading, dancing, & downtown. 3878

SUCH A CATCH! INTELLECTUAL, SPIRITUAL, warm, cultured, athletic, outgoing GJM, 38. 5'8", 180 lbs., NS. ISO GM counterpart for friendship and more whose house/apt. is filled w/books. 3320

Personal of the Week receives a gift certificate for a FREE Day Hiker's Guide to VT from

MUY RICO MECHANICO IN WILLISTON AREA.

; ; ; ; ;

D y k e s ToWatch Out for @ A w - . A PERFECT •SATURDAY S U M E R y avdrn. How ees-r -fc> wkwuceqf m AMBR05/AL- PRDMI5E?

BICURIOUS SWM, 35, ATTRACTIVE, IN shape, ISO 1st time encounter w/ effeminate boy who is pretty, cute and patient, 20s. who can have his way w/me. Discretion assured. 3062

GWM, 43, ST. ALBANS AREA, QUIET, HOME type w/varied interests ISO sincere, levelheaded SM for LTR. Comfortable with who you are? Let's communicate. 3695

wamszn

4171

SUBMISSIVE M W/ A FEW KINKS ISO Dominant M for fantasy fulfillment. I enjoy dirty talk, watersports & eating out. 3129

: ; ; }

I SPY 3 SWEDISH BLONDES IN A HOT TUB on 7/16. No Geo-Thermal-Mapping in the hot tub, ladies! Next time, I promise to be home. 4147

;

TERRYBLACK74, I'VE TRIED TO E-MAIL YOU for a response, please get a hold of me, I

; want to meet you. shyman7969. 4142 BEAUTIFUL SHAVED BLOND LANDSCAPER. I : see you every Tuesday afternoon but I am : too shy to say more than "weed wack '"behind the greenhouse." Single? May I buy ; you dinner? 3966 : ; I ; :

7/6 WINOOSKI BARBERSHOP. YOU: CUTE, tan Nike hat, green eyes. Me: Dark hair, glasses, goatee. In chair first, you next. A lot of eye contact. My imagination? I'm interested. Are you? Please contact. 3964 JEFF WE TALKED AT 135 PEARL ON 7/8/00. You were wiping Samuel Adams off your Miami T-shirt. Would like to get together for another conversation. Any time any place. HI TO THE SWEDISH BLONDES. I AM A Swedish M & is looking forward to some discreet fun. I am happy to please the ladies. Can't wait !! 3961

I FELL INTO A TURBULENT TWIST OF ecstasy when I met you and countless bowls of horsechow later, I'm still twisting... you are entrancingly beautiful, incredible, now & forever more. 4160 SUNSET TOM LEAVING ME AN "I SPY." Perhaps, you did not get my message? I have more to say, please call the box number listed. 4153 7/14. EXPOS. SITTING BY YOU. YOU: BLONDE in pink w/your girls. Me: Green hat w/my boy. You & I. Arrow through my heart. Catch a star. Call me? 4152

I: RED ONION WOMAN, ALWAYS MISS LOVE at the door. Want monkey wrench, splash. Saved by the Bell and Hot Pockets. I may be only 4 days old, but you like porn. Happy Birthday, Brown-eyed girl! 4151

BREWSTER FALLS, SAT. 7/8 AT 2 PM. YOU: Handsome guy from Johnson. We spoke briefly- you left too soon! Up for exercise & a great massage? 3960 JULY 11. SPRUCE AND ST. PAUL; 8:30 AM. You: tall, attractive, brunette, in black. Would you like a ride in my little silver car or is my Harley more your speed. Your call.

2258 LOCAL SAMBA TROUPE MEMBER. YOU: lovely dark hair, dark-eyed female. Noticed you at Recycle North twice since spring. Have admired you for years, is it too late to meet? 3952 SUNDAY STOWE SHOW, WE SPOKE OF expensive rocks, conscientious shopping. As you were leaving we flashed simultaneous smiles, yours brilliant. Would like to meet again, if only, for another smile. 3951

JJgr'Sj?y „

p Q f i A Q n

is0

to respond to a personal a d call 1 - 9 0 0 - 3 7 0 - 7 1 2 7 we're o p e n 2 4 hours a d a y !

$i.99/ininute. must be 18+.

is your love life all eta sea? Then hoQ on board for bhe

Annual singleo cruise! PRESENTED

BY SEVEN

DRYS

AND LOT

Friday, September lsb e-npm Music by Bloozobomy FREE nons d'oeuvres • Prizes • Games! • loos e lotss OF siosies! SEE PAGE 44 FOR DETAILS!

To respond to Letters Only ads: Seal your response in an envelope, write box # on the outside and place in another envelope with $5 for each response. Address to: PERSON TO PERSON c/o SEVEN DAYS, P.O. Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402

woman ABSLkinq mm WiWF, LATE 50S, 5*2", ATTRACTIVE, ISO pleasant WM, 58-65 for possible LTR. Country/Western music, good dancer, long walks, movies, romantic. Please respond. Very lonely. We can get together over coffee. Box 781 WOODSMOKE, BACKROADS, SIMPLICITY, sim plicity. Autochthonic, enthusiastic SF, 50+K employed, enjoys gardening, music, puns, peaceful times. ISO like-minded M, central VT area. Humor essential, Friendship ist. Box 7 8 4 SWF, 5'u", 46, DYNAMIC J, LOVES FASHION and the finer things. Interested in SWM, 3555, for companionship & possibly more. Box 7 8 5 ATTN: MENSCHES & GENTLEMEN! SWF. 37, auburn/blue, nice build, good looks. Smart, funny, playful, loves animals, music, outdoors. ISO same in clean-cut SWPM, 30-42 for LTR. Box 7 8 6 PF. FREE SPIRIT. ATTRACTIVE, INTELLIGENT, intellectually engaging ISO active M in his 60s w/affinity for outdoors, books, performing arts, progressive politics, good conversation, laughter. Come as you are. Box 780 BLONDE, SWDF, FULL-FIGURE, 40S, GREAT sense of humor, loves camping, nature, animals, art & walks on the beach. ISO M, 40s, Who likes to have a good time. Box 778

LIKE TO SKI? I'M 51, BUT YOUNG AT HEART, bartend nights, Scorpio, tike to travel, be wined & dined, dance. Are you athletic, adventurous, ISO a soul mate? LTR. Box 772 DWF, 53, ISO enjoys candle conversation. earth woman.

HONEST GENTLEMAN WHO light dinners, good wine and Long walks with a down-toBox 755

DWF, 43, SMALL, FEMININE, LONG AUBURN hair, hazel eyes. Are you looking for me? You'll find me...exploring the NE Kingdom, dancing barefoot at the barbeque, laughing w/friends and family, hiking, camping, reading, listening...looking for you. Box 754 NO MORE BAD BOYS - WISER WOMAN ISO grown-up M, 55+, w/sense of humor, joie de vivre & slightly warped outlook on life's travails, What d& you want? Box 752

mm HOURS OF LOVE-MAKING EVERY DAY starts with friendship that doesn't sway, holding hands, sharing & caring, leads to passion ever daring. SWM, 36, NA, NS, ND ISO F, 2QS-40S. B o x 7 8 7

ON THE 7TH DAY, MY EYES WERE ALL A glaze. I've been 10 thousand miles, in 15 states. Steven still ISO girl, 40-48, no hair below the belly please. Box 782 SKINNY, SKINNY-DIPPER WANTED. FREE TO travel ISO warm waters, the world around & within. Vegetarian, environmentalist into gardening, homesteading, LTR. Egalitarian SWM, 6 ' i " , 175 lbs., ND, NS, NA, no kids & FS. Box 7 5 7

TAKE MY HEART. DWM, 38, DECENT LOOKS, good build ISO petite F, 28-42, who is outgoing, fun to be with. Are you looking for friendship, trust, love, passion & maybe LTR? Write. Box 777 SINCERE, HANDSOME, ADVENTUROUS gentleman, 47, 5'9", ISO special lady for fun, friendship, passion & LTR. Enjoy sailing, hiking, sunsets & good conversation. Box 773 THUG ISO GANGSTA B*!?H TO CONVERSE W/. Me: 22. You: 18-27. Currently imprisoned, release date Aug. 2000. Let's get to know each other, then maybe kick it! Box 770 ATTRACTIVE, HONEST, FIT SWM, 30S, ISO SF, 20-40, who is fun-loving, stable & likes to enjoy life & all it has to offer. Must enjoy outdoors, cuddling & going out. Box 767 DWM, 41, TALL, ATTRACTIVE. INTELLIGENT, and sensitive. Enjoys many things: beachwalker, sunsets, conversation as well as your interests. ISO a nice, attractive WF for friendship, fun, possible LTR. Box 766 SWM, 25, PHISHERMAN, JAZZ, BOOKS, FILM, art, quiet life ISO F, 21^26, w/similar interests, or not. Brains and kindness a must. Are you lonely, too? Box 764 SWM, SLIGHTLY CRAZED J PUERTO RICAN artist, 5' 10", 160 lbs., 40. Intense, bright, funny, creative, workaholic, w/ bachelor-itis, ISO warm, attractive sweetheart for dancing, travel, possible long-term, mutual unfolding of destiny. Photo please. Box 756 SWM, 33, 6'3", 210 LBS. ISO EQUAL partnership with a woman of reasonably shaped mind and body — race & age unimportant. Box 7 5 8

SPANISH PM, NEW IN RUTLAND. ISO PETITE soulmate. Best if brunette w/sense of humor to become amigos y mucho mas. Send photo w/ letter. No seas timida. Box 760 NEW TO AREA. FIT, SWM, 33, BLONDE, blue, pleasant demeanor, strong sense of justice and humor ISO SF, age/race unimportant. Must be fun, not moody or possessive. Box 799

womm I AM A SGF ISO WONDERFUL LADIES TO become great friends & maybe even more! I am easygoing, kind, friendly, honest, loyal & more of a person. I like dining out. Please write me. Box 763

mm Assjdnq mm MONTPELIER, GWM, 20, s'n", 155 LBS., ISO fun, romance, 18-40, enjoy good food, outdoors, -movies, music. Interested? Write me. Box 783 GCM 43, ST. ALBANS AREA, QUIET HOMEtype w/ varied interests ISO sincere, levelheaded SM for LTR comfortable w/who you are? Let's communicate. Box 776 VERY MASCULINE, ATTRACTIVE, MUSCULAR, SBiWM, 34, 6', 165 lbs., trimmed beard. Clean, sane. Can be dominant or submissive. ISO masculine BiW or BiM, 20S-30S. Very discreet. Only real men need reply. Box 747 LOOKING FOR A DATE? WILL YOU DATE ME? I have brown eyes and hair, 200 lbs. I would like to have a relationship in or out or around North East Kingdom. P. S. I won't mind dating a black man. Box 741

^ '

' • M H M f t l *

ODE TO S A L - SOMEDAY, MY PRINCE WILL come, with my luck, he'll be a bum. Lady ). Box 771 SLAVEMASTER WANTED: BiM, s'S", 140 LBS. ISO master for B&D sessions and more. Explore the limits. I'm very submissive. Will answer all. Willing to please you. Send photo. Box 768 I WANT TO BE YOUR BOY TOY. IF YOU ARE F, fit, attractive, clean, discreet, secretive, 35 50, your pleasure comes first. Box 765

HELP STUDENTS LEARN TO PLAY SWING jazz, music. Where the South Burlington mall buildings are blue, I wilt meet you. Think music. M, 60, ISO SF, NS, helpmate/friend. Box 7 5 0 EASYGOING PLATTSBURGH M, 36, ISO F ISO a friend to hike, paddle, explore. Fit, fun, free-spirited. Kids/dogs welcome too. Take a chance! Trade letters, photos, ideas? All answered. Box 779

BEAUTIFUL BRAD W/BRACES: I SAW YOU ON the cruise and stole a kiss outside the tent. You stole my heart! And now you've disappeared for another year? David. Box 769

4 digit box numbers can be contacted either through voice mail or by letter. 3 digit box numbers can only be contacted by letter. Send letter along w/ $5 to PO Box 1164, Burlington, VT 05402. LOVE IN CYBERSPACE. P O I N T YOUR W E B BROWSER TO H T T P : / / W W W . S E V E N D A Y S V T . C O M

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GRADUATE PROGRAMS TEACHING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE (MATESL) (R)GSL 604 Second Language Acquisition (3cr.)

NEW OGED 502 Integrating Media Literacy Education: TV, Technology & Children (3cr.)

Wednesday, 5:30-8:00pm

Wednesday, 5:00-8:00pm

(E)GSL 611 Sociopragmatics (3cr.)

GED 509 Integrative Curriculum (3cr.)

Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

(E)GSL 655 Language Learning and Assessment for Children (3cr.)

GED 516 Teacher as a Decision Maker (3cr.)

Tuesday & Thursday, 3:45-5:00pm

Monday, 5:00-8:00pm (Please note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

Master of Arts in TESL • Advanced Certificate in TESL Course Key: (R)=Required

(E)=Elective

(R)GSL 500 Introduction to Language and Linguistics (3cr.) Monday & Wednesday, 4:00-5:15pm (Please Note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

(R)GSL 502 English Grammar (4cr.)* Monday & Wednesday, 5:30-7:10pm (Please Note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

(R)GSL 506 Communication Skills (3cr.) Tuesday & Thursday, 2:00-3:15pm

(E) GSL 520 Computer-Assisted Language Learning (CALL) ONLINE (3 cr.) Time: No regularly scheduled meeting times but students need to "check in" with the instructor 3-4 times per week via e-mail.

(R)GSL 542 Theory and Method in Second Language Teaching (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:30-8:00pm

(R)GSL 543 Teaching Oral Skills in ESL/EFL and English Phonology (4cr.)* Tuesday & Thursday, 5:15-6:55pm

(R)GSL 544 Teaching Reading and Writing in ESL/EFL (4cr.)* Tuesday & Thursday, 5:15-6:55pm

(E)GSL 601 Studies in American Culture (3cr.)

(R)GSL 685 Practicum I: Seminar/ Observation (3cr.) Friday, 5:00-7:30pm

Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm GED 529 Meeting Vermont's

To be arranged with instructor

Through Student Directed Learning (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

To be arranged with the instructor

GED 530 Reading, Writing and Literacy in the Content Area (3cr.)

(E)GSL 691 Thesis (3cr.)

Wednesday, 5:00-8:00pm

To be arranged with instructor

Registration Deadline • July 10th for continuing students. Registration for classes after that date cannot be guaranteed. * Students who were admitted to the program prior to the fall of 1998 can take these courses for 3 credit hours.

Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

(Q) GSA 494 Accounting for Managers (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm

(Q) GSA 496 Business Quantitative Tools and Statistics (3cr.) Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

GED 553 Reading, Spelling and Phonology (3cr.) Saturday, 9:00am-3:30pm (Sept. 9,16, 23, 30; Oct. 7,14,21; Nov. 18)

GED 558 introduction to Educational Research (3cr.)

(E) GSA 546 Comparative Management and International Business (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

(E) GSA 552 Labor Management Relations (3cr.)

Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm (Aug. 29; Sept. 5,12,19, 26; Oct. 3,17 24; Nov. 7,14)

(E) GSA 525 The Future of Management (3cr.) Tuesday, 6:00-8:30pm

(E) GSA 536 Investment Analysis and Portfolio Management (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

(E) GSA 538 Systems Thinking: A Management Perspective (3cr.) Saturday, 8:30am-12:30pm (Sept. 9,16,23, 30; Oct. 14,21,28; Nov. 4,11,18)

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Please note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

GED 640 Language and Learning (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 641B Instruction of Students with Learning Problems: Middle and Secondary Level (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 649 Arts: The Creative Process (3 cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-8:00pm Flynn Theatre, Burlington

GED 653 Adult Development and Learning (3cr.) Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 661 A&B Designing Programs for Children with Learning Disabilities/Problems (3cr.) Saturday, 8:30am-12:30pm (Sept. 16, Oct. 14, Nov. 11 and Dec. 9)

GED 671 Bookmaking for Educators (1cr.) Thursday, 6:00-9:00pm (Oct. 5, Nov. 16) No class Oct. 19 Union Memorial School, Colchester

NEW OGED 673A Special Topics: Music and Movement; You Can Do It! (2cr.)

GED 562 Educational Research: Thesis Seminar (3cr.)

Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm (Sept. 5-Nov. 14) Champlain Elementary School, Burlington

GED 572 Leadership & Supervision in School Administration (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-8:00pm

GED 579 Information Literacy: Researching Electronically (3cr.)

GED 673B Special Topics: Art, Math, and Bookmaking; Making Connections (1cr.) Saturday, 8:30-5:00pm (Sept. 23 and Oct. 7)

GED 677 Social Foundations of Education (3cr.)

Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Please note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

GED 589 Information Technology: Influences on Learning (3cr.)

GED 686 Independent Study (1-6cr.) and GED 687 Directed Readings (1-6cr.)

Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 688 Practicum (3-6cr.)

Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 597 Integrating Technology into the Curriculum (3cr.)

(E) GSA 554 Professional Effectiveness (3cr.)

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Please note: Class begins on Labor Day, Sept. 4)

Thursday, 3:30-5:30pm

GED 616 New Directions in Assessment of Student Learning (3cr.)

GED 697 Managing Information Systems (3cr.)

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

(E) GSA 572 Health Administration (3cr.)

Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 634 Consultation and Collaboration in the Schools (3cr.)

Wednesday, 5:00-7:30pm

By Arrangement

ADMINISTRATION AND MANAGEMENT

(Q) GSA 491 Applying the Behavioral Sciences to Management (3cr.)

Standards

(E)GSL 690 Thesis Research Seminar (3cr.)

Master of Science in Administration • Certificate of Advanced Management Study Nonprofit Management Series (C)=Core

GED 522 Literacy in Elementary Schools (3cr.)

(R)GSL 688 Practicum II: Classroom Teaching (3cr.)

Monday, 5:30-8:00pm (Please note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

Course Key: (Q)=Qualifying (E)=E|ective

EDUCATION / SPECIAL EDUCATION Master in Education • Certificate of Advanced Graduate Study • Professional Advancement

(E) GSA 591 Special Topics: Information Literacy-Researching Electronically (3 cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm

(C/E) GSA 597 Organizational Policy (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:30pm

GED 623 The Magic of Clay: Throwing on the Wheel (3cr.) Tuesday, 5:00-8:00pm Shelburne Craft School

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (First class meets on campus Labor Day, Sept. 4) (Please note: Web based. Course doesn't meet on a weekly basis.)

Tuesday, 5:00-7:30pm

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Please note: Class begins on Labor Day, September 4)

CLINICAL PSYCHOLOGY

Monday, 7:30-10:00pm (Class begins on September 11)

Sunday, 9:00am-5:00pm (Nov. 5,19)

GED 689 Student Teaching Seminar (3cr.)

GED 699 Capstone Seminar in Graduate Education (3cr.)

GED 632 Diagnosis of Learning Problems (3cr.)

(C/E) GSA 598 Thesis Seminar (3cr.)

(E) GSA 626 Marketing for Nonprofit Organizations (1cr.)

By Arrangement

Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology GPS 505 Physiological Basis of Behavior (3cr.)

GPS 608 First Year Practicum I (3cr.) Thursday, 5:00-7:25pm

(E) GSA 541 Managing Information Systems (3cr.)

(E) GSA 628 Strategic Planning for Nonprofits (1cr.)

Wednesday, 5:00-7:25pm

GPS 507 Psychological Assessment I (4cr.)

GPS 610 Internship Ethics and Professional Affairs Seminar I (3 or 6 cr.)

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (First class meets on campus, Labor Day, September 4) (Please note: Web based. Course doesn't meet on a weekly basis.)

Saturday, 9:00am-5:00pm (Oct. 14, 28)

(E) GSA 681 Resource Planning and Grant Writing (1cr.)

Thursday, 7:30-9:55pm - Lab Monday, 8:009:30pm

Thursday, 5:00-8:40pm Lab A - Thursday, 6:15-7:25pm;

GPS 510 Research Methods I (3cr.)

Lab B - Thursday, 7:30-8:40pm

Monday, 5:00-7:25pm (Please note: This class will begin on Labor Day, September 4)

GPS 686 Independent Study (3cr.)

GPS 515 Advanced Abnormal Psychology (3cr.)

GPS 687 Directed Readings (3cr.) GPS 689 Research Seminar (3cr.)

Friday, 1:00-7:00pm, Sept. 22 Saturday, 8:30am-2:30pm, Oct. 21

THEOLOGY AND PASTORAL MINISTRY Master of Arts in Theology • Advanced Graduate Certificate • Auditing and Enrichment GTH 724 Contemporary Issues in Health Care Ethics (3cr.)

GTH 527 The Theology and Practice of Eucharist (3cr.)

Friday, 6:00-9:00pm, (Sept. 15, 29; Oct. 20; Nov. 10) Saturday, 9:00am-4:00pm, (Sept. 16, 30; Oct. 21; Nov. 11)

Monday, 6:00-8:30pm

SAINT MICHAEL'S COLLEGE One Winooski Park, Colchester, VT 05439

Tuesday, 7:30-9:55pm

Monday, 5:00-7:30pm (Meets bi-monthly beginning on Labor Day, September 4)

GPS 525 Introduction to Clinical Intervention (4cr.)

GPS 690 Thesis (3cr.)

Tuesday, 5:00-7:25pm - Lab Wednesday, 7:309:00pm

GPS 691 Case Study (3cr.)

GPS 601 Group Psychotherapy (3) Tuesday, 5:00-7:25pm

summer@smcvt.edu www.smcvt.edu/summer

802-654-2100 Toll-Free in VT 1-800-981-4383