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the sioux falls roller dollz vol. 2 no. 5


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contents may 2010 reviews & recommendations 06

May contributors


Creative Writing


Beyond Borders


CD Review: Avian Sunrise


May event calendar


Get(ting) Involved: Music & Mission


A Taste of Sarcasm: Woody’s


Profiles in Sound

Haiti with Scarlet Letter





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contents may 2010 life, love & laughter 22

Cover: The Sioux Falls Roller Dollz


He Said, She Said


Why Don’t Ya Do Somethin’?: Get Your Gardening On



Ask the Johns


The Scoop: Simpsonology


Quiz: Are You a Bad Guest?


The Real Deal: Emily Miller

fashion & beauty 42

From Day to Night


What’s Boss/Get Lost

fitness & health 46

Finding Your Joy: The Butterfly Rainbow Center

Grilling out. 24%

poll What makes you most excited about the warm weather? Check for next month’s poll and be part of the next issue!

4 | May 2010

Actually going outside and being active. 51% Camping and/or bonfires. 8 %

Busting out my bike, motorcycle or scooter! 14%

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contributors may 2010 Danielle Jaeger - Writer Danielle is 21 years old and grew up in Sioux Falls, SD. She is currently in her third year at MSU in Mankato, MN, pursuing a major in journalism with a minor in creative writing. Danielle hopes to one day work as a columnist at a prestigious magazine or newspaper, write her own novel and travel as much as possible. Danielle has a deep love and respect for cheerleading, dance, music and art, as well as an unhealthy obsession with candy and gas station slushies.

Royce Larson - Writer Royce is 26 years old and was born and raised in Sioux Falls. He is currently on break from furthering his education, but would like to be a psychologist someday when he grows up. When he is not reporting, he is the volunteer coordinator at the Centers for Equality where he keeps the “queer eye on Sioux Falls� by furthering the community in gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender issues.

Denise DePaolo - Writer Denise lives in Sioux Falls with her husband, Tony. She will graduate from USD with a degree in English and history in December 2010. Her hobbies include food, wine, watching live music, reading, and traveling. She hopes to someday make a living as a writer while still residing in Sioux Falls.

Dan Thorson - Photographer Dan is 25 years old, born and raised in Sioux Falls. He enjoys photography and is always thinking of ways to approach a subject.

6 | May 2010

Joanna Halverson - Writer A 20-year-old journalism major at Augustana College, Joanna grew up in Sioux Falls. She is passionate about bike riding, apples and poetry. When not bikeriding or managing the office at her church, Joanna is writing or spending an embarrassing amount of money on magazines. After finishing a journalism degree at Augustana College, Joanna would like to be the queen of a small country or a music journalist for a magazine. Probably the latter.

Brittney Hansen - Writer Brittney recently received her BA in Mass Communications with an emphasis in journalism from Minnesota State University, Mankato. In January 2009 she received a Minnesota Newspaper Association Award for Arts and Entertainment Reporting. She is currently freelancing for a variety of publications and trying to find a “real” job.

Molly Keen - Writer Molly was born and raised in Sioux Falls and is currently a junior attending the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. She is an advertising major with an art minor, but is still undecided as to what she wants to do when she “grows up.” In her spare time Molly likes to listen to and make music, hang out in coffee shops, travel as much as her budget will allow, read, and... well, write. | 7

605 PUBLISHER The Mighty Bowtones, LLC EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Alana Bowden DIRECTOR OF SALES AND MARKETING John Snyder ART DIRECTOR Cassie Medema, Funky Fresh CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR Ryan Allen COVER PHOTO Studio Blu Photography PHOTOGRAPHY Candace Ann Photography, Studio Blu Photography CORRESPONDENCE 300 N. Cherapa Pl., Suite 504 Sioux Falls, SD 57103 ADVERTISING INQUIRIES John Snyder (605) 274-1999 ex. 2 CHECK US OUT or 605 Magazine is printed monthly by The Mighty Bowtones, LLC in Sioux Falls and is distributed free all over the city. Š2010 605 Magazine. All rights reserved. Content in this magazine may not be copied in any way without written permission from the publisher. 605 Magazine assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts or photographs. Materials will be returned only if accompanied by a stamped, self-addressed envelope. Content in articles, editorial material and advertisements are not necessarily endorsed by 605 Magazine. The Mighty Bowtones, LLC does not endorse or condone consuming alcohol under the age of 21.

605 Magazine is printed using acid and chlorine free vegetable ink. Our paper is FSC certified and is made of no less than 10% post consumer waste recycled paper. We print in Sioux Falls, to reduce shipping pollution and to keep jobs local.

beyond BORDERS

with Mark Lloyd

Mark Lloyd gets all the book perks working at Borders. Our perk? We get the skinny about upcoming books ahead of everyone else. Next by James Hynes

sassy when Kevin tries to talk to her. But he can’t help it. He needs to talk to her. Like, he’s pretty sure that she’ll be the thing that reinvents him. But she gets away from him in the airport before he can even drop one bad pick up line on the girl. And thus starts a mad chase through the city of Austin. Thus begins a bizarre trip of Kevin losing and finding this mysterious airplane girl. He’ll relive past rejections and current problems. He’ll relive his happiest moments and be forced to confront his darkest fears. But along the way, maybe Kevin will wake up. Maybe Kevin will finally get it. Maybe Kevin will live in the now and stop trying to figure out what’s next.

Kevin is that guy who is never happy. He’s that guy who is never satisfied. Kevin is that guy who is constantly trying to reinvent himself. And he’s landing on a plane in Austin, TX. He’s got a job interview for a job he doesn’t even really want. He should probably just hop on a flight and go right back home to Ann Arbor, MI, where he has a steady job and a younger girlfriend. But of course, he doesn’t really like that job and that younger girlfriend is starting to wear on him. She wants kids and has strange scars on her wrists. So Kevin is landing on a plane in Austin, TX, and he notices how attractive the girl sitting next to him on the plane is. She’s half his age and she’s a little bit


Tell-All by Chuck Palahniuk The personal assistant for an aging movie star wants to write a tell-all memoir. Then some other guy wants to do the same and there is apparently some killing. I don’t know. It’s Palahniuk, so just read it.

My Empire of Dirt: How One Man Turned his Big-City Backyard into a Farm by Manny Howard So this Manny Howard guy turned his Brooklyn backyard into a farm with the goal of being able to completely sustain himself for a month. That sounds like just enough crazy to get yourself a book deal.

want to see your work published in 605 magazine? apply to be a contributor @ | 8

events may 2010 DOWNTOWN May 1 Cinco De Mayo Fiesta Falls Park. 12 p.m. This fun-filled family event features a delicious array of ethnic food, beverages and lively Latin music. Check out games for the kids and browse merchandise vendors in the scenic setting of Falls Park. Artists and locations listed at

Big Dance Band and “Last Call,” the newly formed rock band. Popcorn and BBQ will be for sale as well as the traditional full bar that is available at the Shrine. Tickets are $10 and may be purchased in advance (or on the day of the event) at the El Riad Temple ticket office.

Running of the Dollz Downtown. 7:20 p.m. Spain has the Running of the Bulls, and Sioux Falls has the Running of the Dollz! The Sioux Falls Roller Dollz close their fourth season on May 8th. To celebrate, they invite you to join them in the ‘RUNNING OF THE DOLLZ.’ This event features the Dollz in full protective gear as they skate through downtown chasing runners. The runners are made up of family, friends and fans of the Roller Dollz. Come watch this fun exhibition and learn more about the team! For more info, visit

May 15 Downtown Loft Tour

May 1 | 8 | 15 | 22 | 29 Sioux Empire Farmers Market 8th & Railroad Parking Lot. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. The Sioux Empire Farmers Market offers a unique shopping experience with offerings by local artisans, artisanal breads and other baked goods, spring and fall plants and flowers, farm fresh eggs, beef, poultry, a large variety of vegetables including ethnic vegetables, fruits, herbs, honey and honey products. All locally produced. For more info, contact siouxempiremarket@yahoo. com.

May 7 Downtown First Fridays Downtown. 5 p.m. Enjoy exceptional shopping, original art, entertainment, dining and much, much more. Visit and click on the First Friday button to view the exciting things taking place. For more info, call (605) 338-4009 or visit www.

El Riad Big Band Parade of Music El Riad Shrine Temple. 6 p.m. 33rd annual Parade of Music. This year marks the 100th year of the Big Band’s existence within El Riad. Music will be performed by the Dixieland Combo, The Concert Band, The Wally Jerome Orchestra, the 17-piece

10 | May 2010

Downtown. 10 a.m. Check out the excitement happening downtown when the 4th annual Downtown Loft Tour takes place. During this self-guided tour individuals will have the opportunity to see what downtown living is really like. View both occupied and vacant lofts. The cost for the tour is $5 per person. You will need to register and pay the day of the tour at the Downtown Sioux Falls office located at 230 S Phillips Avenue, Suite 102. For more info, visit

Wine Passport Downtown. Explore a world of wines without ever leaving downtown. Travel to each destination, and with your purchase, receive a corresponding “passport” stamp for that location. Once you have obtained at least 12 stamps, you may turn in your passport for a chance to win fabulous prizes on Sept. 15th. For locations, visit

New Installation of the Downtown SculptureWalk Downtown. Installation of the new sculptures for SculptureWalk. SculptureWalk is an exciting exhibit of sculptures displayed all year long throughout downtown Sioux Falls. Artists from all over the world contribute to this fun and eclectic collection of 50 new sculptures showcased each year.

May 21 Bike to Work Day Museum of Visual Materials. Celebrate National Bike to Work Day by riding your bicycle to the Museum of Visual Materials, then onto your workplace for the day. Also enjoy a free breakfast!

ENTERTAINMENT May 5 | 12 | 19 | 26 College Night Club David. 9 p.m. Live DJ dance party. $2 Bombs and “Study Shots.” $10 Beer Bust 9 p.m.-1 a.m. For more info and a list of all events, visit 21+

May 6 | 20 Battle For the Arts Club David. 9 p.m. Artists are set up in bracketed tournament to go head to head the first and third Thursday every month. Each night of the tournament, two artists create large scale drawings armed only with a marker. The crowd watches and cheers them on, ultimately determining the victor. That artist continues to move up the ranks until there is an ultimate showdown between the two favorites. For more info, visit www.

MAY 14 | 15 Skyline Patio Grand opening Club David. 4:30 p.m. Complimentary happy hour appetizers and cool drink specials at the 34’ ice patio bar. Join our “5:01 Skyline Club.” We’ll take you to new heights! Your after work HIGH! For details and a list of all events, visit

May 15 Dress to Impress Prom Club David. 9 p.m. Live DJ dance party. Resurrect your prom attire and walk the red carpet! Complimentary wrist corsage for the first 25 ladies in the door. For more info and a list of all events, visit

Club David. Come dressed up as your favorite circus character. Free shot for the first 25 in the door and Britney drink specials all night. Prizes for Best Circus Costume and Best Dancer. For more info and a list of all events, visit

GOOD CAUSE May 8 Avera Race Against Breast Cancer Avera McKennan Fitness Center. 8 a.m. . The 22nd Annual Avera Race Against Breast Cancer will include a 10K run, 5K run, 3 mile walk, and 1.5 mile family fun walk. The Avera Race is a one day community event that raises funds to benefit the patients and families served by the Avera Cancer Institute. For more info, visit

May 29 Humane Society Poker Run J&L Harley-Davidson. 11 a.m. Fundraiser for the Humane Society. Registration is at J&L Harley-Davidson from 11 a.m.-1 p.m. For more info, visit

SPORTS May 1 | 15 | 29 Sioux Falls Storm Sioux Falls Arena. 7:05 p.m. For more info, visit

May 8 Sioux Falls Roller Dollz Sioux Falls Arena. 7 p.m. Don’t miss the season closer at their new location vs. the No Coast Roller Girls! Admission $12.50. For more info, visit

May 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 25 | 27 Sioux Falls Fighting Pheasants Sioux Falls Stadium. 7:05 p.m. For more info, visit

May 28 Nights of Fame Party II Britney Spears Circus Party | 11

events may 2010 MUSIC Due to space, here are only some of the biggest shows of the month. For more show listings, visit www.the, www.pepperentertainment. com,,, or

May 1 Everyday Jones | The Terrible Thrills Club David. 8 p.m. Admission $6. 21+

May 5 The Audition | The Bigger Lights | In Search of Atlantis | Aaron W Nutty’s North. 6 p.m. Admission $8/$10. All ages. More info on page 16.

May 9 Dakota Wind Ensemble 5th Season Spring Concert Meredith Auditorium, Jeschke Fine Arts Center, USF. 7 p.m. Mr. James McKinney with the Dakota Wind Ensemble and Mr. Gary Peterson with the Sioux Empire Brass Society will perform a joint wind band concert entitled Fiesta! featuring La Fiesta Mexicana by H. Owen Reed in honor of the 60th anniversary of the composition and 100th anniversary of the composer. The DWE will also perform Wedding Dance by Jacques Press, and As the Scent of Spring Rain by Jonathan Newman as well as works for a combination of both ensembles. Admission for adults is $6 and for students or seniors is $3 at the door. For more information contact

May 14 KROOFEST 2010 Husets Speedway/Brandon, SD. 3 p.m. Admission $41.50 in advance and $52 day of show. All ages.

Casper & The Cookies (members of Montreal) | Aquaserge (members of Stereolab) Club David. 8 p.m. Admission $6. 21+

May 7 Mic Check Contest to Open for Lil’ Flip Club David. 9 p.m. Admission $5. 21+

May 8 Midwest Blessed | The Gateway Drug | Phantom Balance Nutty’s North. 9 p.m. Admission $6. 18+

12 | May 2010

Slow Motion Collapse | Dustlot | Fly by Fire Club David. 8 p.m. Admission $6. 21+

AdApt CD Release | Grayline | DJ Foolproof Nutty’s North. 9 p.m. Admission $6. 21+

May 15 Useful Jenkins | The Rubber Gloves | 10 Foot Jumper Nutty’s North. 9 p.m. Admission $7. 18+

May 16 Tech N9ne’s Strange Days Tour | Trey Lane Ramkota Exhibit Hall. 7 p.m. All ages. More info on page 17.

An Evening with Henry Rollins Brandon Performing Arts Center/Brandon, SD. 7 p.m. Admission $25 in advance. All ages.

Flame On Entertainment Afterparty.

May 28 Twisted Metal with Nightshield Entertainment | Fluxx Nutty’s North. 9 p.m. Admission $8. 18+

May 31 Strike Anywhere | Lowtalker | Damn Your Eyes | Goshen Nutty’s North. 6 p.m. Admission $10/$12. All ages.

Nutty’s North. 11 p.m. Admission $5. 21+

May 21 Pasque (members of Quaker City Night Hawks/Burlap WolfKing) | A Ghostwood Calm

Check out our complete calendar at and e-mail events to

Nutty’s North. 9 p.m. Admission $6. 18+

May 22 Mac Lethal | We All Have Hooks for Hands Nutty’s North. 9 p.m. Admission $8/$10. 18+

May 26 Puddle of Mudd | Sevendust | Adelita’s Way Ramkota Exhibit Hall. 7 p.m. All ages. More info on page 18. | 13

a taste of SARCASM

with Dan Doyle

Woody’s “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey When you are looking for a bar in town, what are the key things you are looking for and in what order do you rank them? For me,1 the order goes as follows: (1) atmosphere2 ; (2) location [geographically and in relation to other bars]; (3) price; and (4) food. For that reason, this article is going to have a tendency to move away from food and more into the realm of petty, overly-judgmental, unimpeded observations from a guy that has absolutely no credentials whatsoever. I will start of by saying this; I had an opinion about Woody’s Pub & Grille before I even walked into the door. That’s right. I am man enough to admit that I am prone to making totally uninformed profiling characterizations of places prior to experiencing them. For this, I will give a

half-hearted apology.3 Months ago, I was informed that the same guys that owned the Lie-brary 4 also owned Woody’s. In addition, I was told that Woody’s was basically just Liebrary northwest. Bam! Opinion formed. Thankfully, I did not find this to be completely true. From the exterior, Woody’s is yet again another giant tan-colored cement box within the Sioux Falls bar scene.5 Frankly, the place looks huge from the parking lot and, in reality, it is. However, when you step inside, it doesn’t actu-

14 | May 2010

ally come off as big, bland and empty.6 The building is actually partitioned off into two separate spaces. The south side is a video lottery casino7 and the north side is the Pub & Grille. This review will center on the Pub & Grille – obviously, if people cared about which place housed the machines that they dumped their paychecks into, streets like 10th, 41st, Minnesota and Cliff would be considerably more pleasing, esthetically speaking. Immediately upon entering Woody’s, I was pleasantly surprised. “Pleasant” is probably the wrong word to use – this isn’t a bright and colorful atmosphere, but it doesn’t promise to be either. This is a true old-school bar design: Dark lighting, dark woods, pool tables, high-top seating and a haze of smoke8 are what greet patrons inside Woody’s. For me, this is what a “hole-in-the-wall” bar should be. It doesn’t mean the place is dirty or falling apart – far from it. It just isn’t a place that you take grandma to when she comes to town. The physical bar structure is one of my favorite designs. A large horseshoe shape with a wide counter separating patrons and bartenders makes for a perfect mix of comfort for those sitting at the bar, yet also leaves plenty of room for those that simply want to walk over from the pool table to grab a fresh brew. As noted above, the bar is constructed with dark woods and the soffit above the bar, which functions as a storage area for bottles and glasses, and serves as the perfect method for identifying where the bar ends and the common area begins. It gives that “intimate” sort of feel to the bar. Notwithstanding this dark feel, if you want to take in some rays from the sun and enjoy the nice weather, Woody’s features a very well designed and constructed patio area. Unfortunately the view leaves something to be desired – that is, unless you like looking at an old Morton building with empty rotting pallets resting neatly next to a filthy gravel driveway… The prices on the drinks are reasonable at Woody’s. This isn’t a place that tries to fool you into coming in for martini specials and wine tastings. This is a beer and whiskey bar. Nothing more and nothing less. This is the place you come to after work to escape from the real world and have a conversations with friends named Bud, Jack, Jim and that

swarthy guy nicknamed the Captain. The food? Well, it is bar food. To quote Cookie from the timeless Billy Crystal classic City Slickers, “You ain’t gonna get any nouveau, amandine, thin crust, bottled water, sauteed city food. Food’s brown, hot, and plenty of it.” But it ain’t that bad. There are classic bar favorites like gizzards, fried cheese, several flavors of chicken wings and onion rings. Also, there are “new classics” like fried pickle spears and bottle caps.9 Main courses include items like various burgers, a great Philly cheese steak, and other sandwiches. This stuff won’t blow you away, but it serves its purpose.10 Woody’s is what it is. If you read this article and were able to get the gist of my blabbering, you already know if you will like it or not. If you still aren’t sure, check it out.

FINAL GRADE FOOD 3/5 Fried, brown and hot. SERVICE 4/5 They fill your beer and take your order. What else do you need here? ATMOSPHERE 3/5 It depends what you like. For drinking and sh** talking, this is the place.

1) Because my opinion is the only one that matters. 2) For guys this means either, “where can we go to drink, tell jokes and watch the game (any game)?” OR “where can we find morally casual women with low standards?” For women this is, “where can I go to dance?” OR “where can I play Sex & the City: Sioux Falls Edition?” 3) Do you really care? 4) I refuse to take the time to add in all of those stupid symbols and punctuation marks. Frankly, in the case of the Lie-brary, such accents are incredibly counterintuitive. I mean, why does a place that may be the most non-descript, plain-Jane looking bar in town (inside and outside) spend the time to try and make the name sound like it has any sort of significance? Let’s face it; the Lie-brary is a cement box with beer taps. The fact that it draws a crowd is further proof that the only thing driving Sioux Falls’ bars is said bars’ proximity to their patron’s houses. Thanks for not having a real bar district Sioux Falls! God forbid we fill in the empty stores downtown with places that draw crowds and stay open past 5:30 p.m. Nooooo, instead we will have some bored housewife open up a scrapbooking store or maybe a store that makes WWJD bracelets. Yeah, that will be successful… Longest footnote in months. Yahtzee! 5) Hooray for creativity and originality! 6) Like the Lie-brary. OK, I guess I am basically reviewing two places this month. 7) Gotta keep this state afloat somehow… 8) For the next few months, until the smoking ban kicks in. 9) The perfect recipe for an unpleasant morning after visit to the bathroom. 10) To give you a base layer to make it through an all night train down the tequila highway. Yee haw! | 15

profiles IN SOUND May 5 | The Audition with The Bigger Lights, In Search of Atlantis and Aaron W at Nutty’s North - all ages With the aspiration to have each record be the catalyst of their time, The Audition push forward, but have sowed their roots in hopes to sprout inspiration for their latest Victory Records release, Great Danger. “We wanted a combination of all three albums,” noted singer Danny Stevens. “We wanted to give something to the fans, but didn’t want to stray too far, of course, from our previous albums. Something that we knew people would enjoy and something that would compliment the rest of our catalog.” Fashioned in 2003, Windy City quartet The Audition went through a myriad of hurdles before its current lineup was

complete. Drummer, Ryan O’Connor and bassist, Joe Lussa recruited guitarist, Seth Johnson to polish their origi-

16 | May 2010

nal lineup. Local shows with bands like Fall Out Boy, June, Spitalfield, and The Academy Is… propelled the band to minor fame, and soon Victory Records took notice of the hometown favorites. Within weeks of the band’s showcase in O’Connor’s parent’s basement, The Audition was signed. However, only a mere month had passed before the band decided to part ways with their lead singer. Local scene and Motor City native, Danny Stevens stepped up to fill a permanent position that he and The Audition had been looking for. After the recording was complete, the band added guitarist, Tim Klepek to bring the intricate guitar parts to life during their live performances. The Audition enjoyed a wave of success with Controversy Loves Company, which has reached over 57,000 copies sold and is still climbing parallel to the band’s relentless touring schedule. Following the release of their sophomore album, Champion, The Audition hit the road with the likes of Jack’s Mannequin, Cobra Starship, Boys Like Girls, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and 30 Seconds to Mars. In the midst of recording Self-Titled Album in 2008, The Audition’s original bassist, Joe Lussa left the band. Although they had

Self-Titled out for the world to hear, the change of Lussa to Klepek on bass sparked a flame that would not burn out. The now current line up inspired the four-some to write an album that would excite fans and one that was reminiscent of Controversy. “We just felt like we did everything we could with Self-Titled Album. We had new songs and we were ready to record,” said Johnson. Hoping to create a sound that reflected a band reemerging, Great Danger was born. In this installment, The Audition pride themselves on their effort to self-produce Great Danger. “With this album, all of the music except for ‘Runaway’ [written soley by Stevens] was done by Seth and Ryan,” said Stevens. “They would put together the skeleton and I would brainstorm lyrics. It’s a very collaborative effort. There’s no one songwriter in this band – it’s all of us.” Unlike their previous albums, The Audition takes a much more relaxed approach to recording. “It was really nice to be able to write at home and not have to work in a studio or at someone’s house,” added Stevens. Although The Audition grew up amongst the brat pack of Midwestern “scene” bands from the last decade, they have surpassed their contemporaries in songwriting, story-telling and mesmerizing through live shows. With three critically-acclaimed and addictive power-pop records in their arsenal, they continue to build their reputation as a powerhouse of talent with Great Danger, in stores now. Tickets are $8 in advance at Ernie November’s or They are $10 at the door. For more information, visit www.

May 16 | Tech N9ne at the Ramkota Events Hall Aaron Dontez Yates (born November 8, 1971 in Kansas City, Miss.), better known by his stage name Tech N9ne, is an American rapper. His musical career has spanned 20 years, during which he has performed sold out shows from Los Angeles to New York City. He is also the best selling MC out of his hometown of Kansas City. Tech N9ne’s relative success is most notable for being derived from a strong fan base, regular live performances and an encouragement of online song sharing rather than media attention, radio play or extensive music video play. Tech N9ne is known for his wide range of collaborations with other well-known artists, including 2Pac, Brotha Lynch Hung, E-40, C-Bo, D12, Kottonmouth Kings, Insane Clown Posse, Twiztid, Yukmouth, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony, Hed PE, Ju-

rassic 5, Roger Troutman, and various others. In 1999, Tech N9ne was included on the track (and accompanying video) “The Anthem” from Sway & King Tech, two radio personalities based in California. The track and video featured Eminem, RZA, KRS-One, Chino XL, Pharoahe Monch, Xzibit, Kool G Rap, and Jayo Felony. Tech N9ne started his rap career because of a dare from one of his friends in high school. Early in his career, he was a member of a group called NNUTT HOWZE, which he pays tribute to in many of his lyrics by saying “Six, six, triple eight, forty six, ninety nine,

three” (6688846993), which spells out NNUTT HOWZE on the touch pad numbers of a telephone. However, the group disbanded when they were dropped from their label, Perspective Records. Additionally, he saw glimpses of success as a member of the 57th Street Rogue Dog Villians - also a Kansas City-based group - with their single “Let’s Get F***ed Up.” Tech N9ne is a member of The Regime, a large collective of MCs including Yukmouth, Dru Down, Gonzoe, Tha Realest and Messy Marv among various others. Fellow Kansas City rappers, BG Bulletwound and Grant Rice, are also included in the collective roster. Tech N9ne is one of the original members of The Regime, as he has been with the group since its creation by Yukmouth in 1997. The stage name Tech N9ne derives from the word technique and the number 9, 9 being the number of completion; meaning he is a “complete emcee.” Tech N9ne brings his “Strange Days Tour” to the Ramkota Exhibit Hall on Sunday, May 16th. Also appearing will be local rapper Trey Lane with DJ Adapt, and a wide range of touring support acts, including Brotha Lynch Hung, Krizz Kaliko and many more. Tickets are available at Last Stop CD Shops, and | 17

profiles IN SOUND May 26 | Puddle of Mudd at the Ramkota Events Hall “It’s about passion and writing music that connects with other people and somehow heals them. I really want to try to crawl under peoples’ skin and at the same time make some kick-ass rock ‘n roll music,” said Puddle Of Mudd frontman Wesley Scantlin about his band’s imminent third album, Living On Borrowed Time. After their 2001 debut Come Clean sold over 5 million copies and spawned no less than four radio hits (including “Blurry,” the most played song of 2002); and their gold-certified follow-up Life On Display, Puddle Of Mudd was able to step back a little to create Living On Borrowed Time (scheduled for a July release). “We had a lot of time to write and then make the record, as opposed to our second record where we were writing while we were recording,” explained bassist Douglas Ardito. “This time we had time to live life and have experiences to talk about.” After demoing songs “in some crazy little apartment with an isolation booth in the middle of Hollywood,” Living On Borrowed Time was recorded in Los Angeles and Colorado with former Black Flag drummer Bill Stevenson (Rise Against, MXPX etc.) producing. For all their platinum albums, awards and sold-out shows, Puddle Of Mudd has retained their organic approach to songwriting, usually starting with Wesley at home with an acoustic guitar. “If it sounds good and it makes your skin goose bump up then you’re probably onto something,” he mulled. “Have you ever heard those lyrics by Nine Inch Nails: ‘I just made you up to hurt myself?’” he continued, laughing.

18 | May 2010

“That’s kinda how it is for songwriters I think: you almost create drama in your life just to get some good inspiration. Anything that irks you a little bit, for some weird and unknown reason, is good for really passionate songs. I write

was kind of a freaky coincidence.” Living On Borrowed Time once again displays Puddle Of Mudd’s sixth sense for creating anthemic songs that are at once optimistic and uneasy, uplifting yet contemplative, dramatic but never

a lot of the stuff, but it’s like a team – everybody’s got their inspiration that they put into it.” And Puddle Of Mudd now has fresh inspiration from new members Christian Stone (ex-Campfire Girls) and Ryan Yerdon. It was a collaboration between Wesley and Christian that, in bizarre fashion, produced the album’s title, “Living On Borrowed Time” - the name of a song they’d written together. “Christian went home to Massachusetts to visit his family for Christmas and someone showed him a picture of his [soldier] brother in Iraq with this tattoo. He had got ‘Living On Borrowed Time’ tattooed on him,” Douglas explained. “So, unbeknownst to either brother, one had written a song with Wes called ‘Living On Borrowed Time’ and then the other had tattooed ‘Living On Borrowed Time’ on his chest. So it

without humor. Wesley’s voice retains its serrated charm but is more versatile than ever, able to shift a song’s mood with sometimes unexpected inflections. As ever, Puddle Of Mudd is singleminded in focusing on unpretentious song craft and accessible lyrical authenticity over fashion’s fickle demands or artsy affectations. “We’re not using DJ turntables and synths and all that stuff,” Douglas confirmed. “We’re just trying to pull out the honesty and make another batch of great songs for people to listen to.” Puddle of Mudd will play the Ramkota Exhibit Hall on Wednesday, May 26th with Sevendust & Adelita’s Way. Tickets are available at both Last Stop CD Shops, &

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creative WRITING

edited by Ryan Allen

Jose Otero was born and raised in western Pennsylvania, but recently relocated to Salt Lake City, Utah. Despite the move, his poetry still reflects his experiences there and the stories told in his family. looking for gumballs

the woman who brought us the news

José Otero

José Otero

my grandfather died of a heart attack at the age of thirty-six he was an alcoholic who once held up the local bar took the money and all the gumballs from the machine

she sat on a wooden chair next to the television, holding an unraveled wire hanger in the air so her husband and children could watch the news and saturday night tv without the interruption of white static

my mother still dreams of gumballs pouring from the cupboards he quit drinking but a few years later his kids found him lying on the kitchen floor with the cupboard door wide open they thought he was looking for baking soda because they believed it could cure heart burn maybe or maybe he was looking for gumballs

20 | May 2010

I sat on the couch with the rest of the kids, but didn’t watch the show I just stared at the blank face trying to hold the wire perfectly still, and when it dropped, her husband’s eyes would roll and flash like the screen as she apologized and steadied her ever-shaking hand I watched her all evening, sitting on that hard chair as I quietly waited for the show to end, so I could go home and forget about the white static and the woman who brought us the news

music REVIEWS Avian Sunrise – A Noisy World by Roman Black For the boys of Avian Sunrise, noise is ambient, and creativity is sprouted from that noise. Drawing influence from such acts as Kings of Leon, Death Cab for Cutie and Thrice, their message brings positive energy that makes one’s heart feel stronger. To me, their subtle vibe reminds me of the uplifting emotional power of Jars of Clay. Avian Sunrise was formed in late 2008 when frontman Bryan Wehrkamp presented a song to a group of friends. Wehrkamp had been writing about his sister who had been battling depression. Hailing from Vermillion, SD, their muse is an inspiring one. Wehrkamp (lead vocalist and pianist) told me: “Since the conception of our band, we have set out to move and/or help peo-

ple with our music. We are hoping that the listener can use the music on this album as an escape or a breath of fresh air from the noisy world we live in. Each song on this album is an accumulation of the emotions poured into them over the past 7-8 months, and as a result, the degree of honesty within each track is something I hope people will be able to identify with on many levels.” So they present to you: “A Noisy World.” Upon the opening fade in, I found myself sniffing the air as if I needed to taste something more. Then I got it, as

its fullness engulfed every little sound around me. Track 2 entitled “Fear No More” left me contemplating my place in this world but it also made me realize I do have a voice. “What You Deserve” gently grabbed me with its line “it takes only seconds to get lost, but how much will it cost?” Whenever lyrics pose a question to its listeners its appeal becomes broader, especially when it’s left to be answered by whomever. The feeling of desperation is poured all over you by track 5, “The Loved.” The forceful final cut “Brightest Day” is a relieving message that simply reminds us that everything is okay. “A Noisy World” is available on iTunes or online at www.aviansunrise.

Rating: | 21

22 | May 2010


by Denise DePaolo | 23

The Sioux Falls Roller Dollz have a big move ahead of them. After four seasons of skating at the Fairgrounds, this local team of tough-as-nails girls next door will be moving to the Sioux Falls Arena for their May 8th bout. If their previous attendance is any indicator (around 1,500 people attended their last bout), the Dollz will flourish at the new facility. So, one might ask, what is roller derby? Basically, in the most simple, borderline unfair nutshell: at any given time, there are a group of skaters at the front called the pack. The pack is comprised of each teams’ blockers and jammers that skate behind. Jammers are the most important people on the track, and their helmet is indicated with a large star. As a jammer makes it through the pack two times, points are scored. Each 30-minute bout is broken into point-scoring shifts called jams. When most people think of roller derby, they imagine an excessively violent sport with a distinctly 1970’s backdrop where women whiz by each other, displaying open aggression in anything-goes grudge matches. According to Sioux Falls Roller Dollz co-founder Elizabeth Nelson, that is so not the case. The roller derby of yore fell by the wayside long ago, and a new incarnation has taken hold in cities throughout the world. She concedes it is a rough contact sport, likening it to hockey (since there is checking), but it is also heavily refereed with penalties placed on skaters who purposely trip, throw elbows or fight. “The hits are big, but we try really hard not to hurt each other or the other team. In my whole time in roller derby, I have never seen anybody who’s just a big bruiser and wants to walk into a bar and punch somebody,” Elizabeth said. To Elizabeth and her teammates, roller derby is not about rage. It is about commitment and camaraderie-- with the added bonus of a great workout. The Roller Dollz began in 2007

when Elizabeth (a.k.a. Queen Elizabitch) met Jayme Nelson (whose on-track moniker is Pain Maker). Each woman had become fascinated with roller derby after seeing shows like A&E’s “Rollergirls,” which chronicled the lives and times of an Austin, TX syndicate. After weeks of tireless promotion, the Dollz held their first informational meeting, attended by 50 enthusiastic women. Over time that number has dwindled and they have gained some new teammates, with their membership hovering steadily around 20 strong, solid members at any given time. Current members range in age from their early twenties into their forties, and their day jobs are just as diverse. To get started, the Dollz had to reach out to other teams for guidance. Luckily, Elizabeth had friends in Phoenix participating in the sport who, along with teams from Minneapolis and Denver, showed the Dollz the ropes. “That’s the cool thing about roller derby – the community is very close and willing to help you out and give you anything you need. Everyone was super willing to help us get started,” said Elizabeth. The Dollz also found local business support with relative ease. Although the women involved pay dues and provide their own skates and equipment, it takes much more to keep the organization running smoothly. Sponsorship dollars go to help offset the cost of participation, uniforms and their practice space. Amongst others, Dakota Beverage has been with the Dollz for each of their four seasons. Elizabeth says, “They have been super-amazing from day one, because Pabst Blue Ribbon has been a sponsor for a bunch of different leagues around the country throughout this whole roller derby revival.” Despite its new image, roller derby remains a turbulent sport by any standard. The Dollz wear helmets and pads galore, but as in any athletic activity, injuries are par for the course. Skaters experience bumps and bruises and the odd concussion, but the most common injuries are to the knees. During their first season, the Dollz lost a substantial number of players to knee-related damage. The women struck it lucky, however, when they were approached by Dr. Judith Peterson, who acts as a volunteer team doctor. She has instituted a 15-minute sequence of knee-strengthening exercises that the Dollz run through each time they put on their

skates, which has made a world of difference. Elizabeth said, “She is from Philly and was a principle physician for the Philadelphia Ballet. She was really interested in women’s sports and contacted me during our first season. She’s written articles on roller derby injuries. Without her, all of us would be broke- in a lot of ways.” The team likes to make an impact off the track, too. Volunteerism is a big part of the Roller Dollz. Aside from it helping to keep them visible in the community, it is their way of giving back to the city that has supported them for four seasons. So far, the team has given almost $30,000 to local charities like The Banquet and Second Chance Rescue Center. “We want to be positive role models and show that we can wail on each other on the track, but still get up at five on a Friday to serve breakfast at The Banquet,” Elizabeth said. For each bout, the team chooses a local charity to whom the proceeds will be donated. The Dollz next bout on May 8th will benefit Camp Bring It On, a summer camp for children with cancer. In addition to donating money, the team will spend an evening at the camp engaging in activities with the children. In addition to their move to the arena, the Dollz will also be recruiting during the month of May, marking the end of their October to May season. The team holds a rookie boot camp during the summer, then each skater takes a written and physical skills test in August. Those who pass both will be placed on a team. For those who do not pass initially, there are opportunities to retest until they make it. Throughout the summer, the Dollz will be having a series of fundraisers to help the new members ease into the cost of membership more comfortably. To those who are still skeptical about roller derby, Elizabeth wants them to get informed, “First, I would challenge them to put on a pair of skates… but really I would challenge them to have a conversation about it with any of the girls. This is about being gracious, having a good time and having a great attitude.” Tickets for the May bout can be found at all Ticketmaster outlets. For more information about the Sioux Falls Roller Dollz, check out or follow them on Twitter @SiouxFallsDollz. Also, keep an eye out for them at future 605 events. | 25

' / , 8 % ]SYV [EVHVSFIJSV


he said SHE SAID

Image by Candace Ann Photography

It’s all about the he said, she said bull… you get it. Lady Tove and Sir Mammenga are here to cut the middle man and give straight-up answers for relationships from a male and female perspective. 1.) I have been with my boyfriend for a few months and am really happy with him, but he is so mushy. I should be thrilled, but I hate being called “baby” and him texting me he misses me and loves me every couple of hours. Can I tell him to pump the breaks? -Becca, 27

T: Becca, absolutely. If you are uncomfortable with the pet names he’s given

that sounds like this: “You annoy me when you…” Instead, offer a solution and make it about you, not him. Like this: “I love that you call me pet names, but I’m not so crazy about ‘baby.’ Can you maybe call me ‘snuggle face’ instead?” 2) Be sure to tell him what you want out of the relationship. If you really can’t take the names and the texts and you want to break it off, tell him. Don’t string him along. If you do want

conversations can result in a happy relationship for both of those involved. M: Well, the answer is yes, you can tell him to pump the breaks. In fact, if this is something that is really bothering you, you should tell him to pump those brakes sooner than later. In a healthy relationship it is important to talk about these things. If you let it go, it is eventually going to turn into something that you absolutely loathe, in which case a gigantic fight will ensue once you finally do bring it up. You said you were happy with this gentleman, so you should do yourself a favor and bring up that this “mush” bothers you right now. I’m going to tell you though, once you put a kibosh on this, it will stop. It is important for you to explain to him how you feel, but, I want you to brace yourself for displays of affection to then be limited. Now, that might be fine for you, I just want to you to be ready for it. You can’t tell him to stop and then six months down the road be up in arms because he doesn’t show his affection enough. That would be hypocritical to no end. Not to mention annoying.

you and the amount of communication, it is definitely OK to pump the breaks. It’s odd: most of the time it’s guys telling girls to back off, but that isn’t always the case, for men can be just as clingy as the next gal. My suggestions for when you confront him about these grievances are as follows: 1) Don’t make it a conversation

28 | May 2010

to hold on to the relationship, tell him what bothers you and how the two of you can work together to make both people comfortable. Clingers are inevitable in the dating world, but they aren’t unmanageable. Just be sure not to hang on just for the sake of avoiding an awkward conversation, and be sure not to break it off for the same reason. Sometimes awkward

What it really comes down to is a conversation on how much “mush” is too much. This guy is clearly over the line on the “mush” spectrum, but, it is important to outline that it is okay for him to tell you that he loves you…just not every half hour. I feel like he might be overcompensating for insecurity, perhaps. He is probably pushing the “mush” factor to make sure you know he loves you. Talk to him and put his

mind at ease. Tell him you love him too, and that you know he loves you. You both need to be secure in the relationship, and this conversation will help you get there.

Before you start on your quest, though, do talk to him to make sure he’s worth pursuing. If he’s not ready to really date anyone, it may not be in your interest to waste time and effort on a lost cause.

2.) There is a guy I met who I am interested in, and after hanging out I found out he recently went through a huge breakup. Is it worth it to still pursue him or is it a lost cause at this point in time? -Lost

There is this nasty assumption that people only want rebounds after a breakup, but that isn’t always the case.

T: Of course it’s worth it to pursue him! There is this nasty assumption that people only want rebounds after a breakup, but that isn’t always the case. In fact, one of my good friends was in a long-term relationship, broke up with her boyfriend, less than a week later started dating a new guy and they are now married and have a kiddo. How’s that for a rebound? Don’t cancel someone out just because of an event in their past, for then everyone wouldn’t have a chance with anyone. Do, however, be cautious as to how you approach this romantic interest. He will probably want to take things slow at first considering his recent split, but don’t take that as a red flag. It’s just the opposite, really. If you and he move too quickly, you may end up as just another rebound story, so slow it down and enjoy getting to know him.

+ Lady Tove

M: I believe this situational aspect of relationships was taught on the second or third day of Relationships 101. Sounds like you must have been hung over that day and didn’t make it to class, so I’ll elaborate on what is known as the Rebound Period. This guy is coming out of serious relationship, so I doubt he is seriously looking to jump right into another one. So, the accepted practice is to find a “rebound girl or girls.” The idea behind this practice is to try to forget about the past relationship,

like Peter Bretter in the beginning of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. A lot of guys will try to “get” with as many women as possible, in hopes of erasing the loss of the last relationship. This means that most guys are going to try to hook up with as many ladies as possible. Now, since you said you were “interested” in this guy, you may have to alter your strategy a bit. You do not want to be a random rebound hookup, so I would not recommend jumping in physically with this guy right away. The Rebound Period lasts for a different amount of time depending on the guy. This usually has a direct correlation to maturity. The best advice I can offer you is to be a friend to this guy first. Feel the Rebound Period out. He needs to be over the last relationship before he can ever start one with you. It’s actually a good situation for you. The best relationships come from getting to know someone first and being friends. You have lucked out with a built in period to allow for a friendship to build. Just remember, do not allow yourself be a “rebound girl.”

Have a question for Tove and Mammenga? E-mail

How do you feel about being a mushy couple?

“Mushy is absolutely necessary. Pet names are for your couch. PDA is essential at engagement and wedding parties, amusement parks and Paul Rudd movies.” - Danielle Rangel

“I don’t care if the world knows it or not and I don’t care if the world sees it or not.” - Nate Petersen, showing PDA.

“PDA has such a negative stigma attached to it, but I think as long as appropriateness (key word here) is considered, innocent onlookers won’t have to silently throw up in their mouths.” - Kari Holland.

Become a fan of 605 Magazine on Facebook and join the poll for next month. | 29

why don’t ya DO SOMETHIN’? Get Your Gardening On

by Joanna Halverson Photos Courtesy of Ted Heeren

Ten years ago, Ted Heeren was approached with the infamous “what’re your plans after graduation?” question in college. “I said I wanted my own rock and roll garden radio show,” Heeren said, grinning. “Back then, it was a joke.” Although they laughed ten years ago, today Heeren hosts the Rock Garden Tour, a now statewide, rock and roll garden radio show. The Rock Garden Tour sports rock music, witty banter and produce puns to encourage young people to get involved in gardening. “People think gardening is ‘for old people’ or ‘just a hobby,’” Heeren said on gardening misconceptions. “The irony is the younger you are the better, because of the demand of physical strength. And it’s not just a hobby – it’s more of a lifestyle. I call it avant-gardening,” he said, grinning. Heeren used the word “lifestyle,” meaning the ability to be independent and self-sufficient. “The sustainability is what attracts most young adults,” Heeren said. There is symbolism in the concept of young adults growing their own food. Eighteen to 25-year-olds are becoming increasingly more separated from their parents and more independent financially and psychologically. “You begin to cultivate a relationship with the land,” Heeren said. “It changes the way you think of the earth. You realize everything you do to the earth has an indirect effect

30 | May 2010

on your garden.” The Rock Garden Tour has a “budding” community of gardeners. “I wouldn’t call them ‘young’ gardeners,” Heeren said on the listeners of his show. “‘Young’ kind of sounds

‘ignorant’ or ‘foolish.’ I would call them more ‘progressive’ or ‘independent thinkers.’” Inexperienced gardeners may worry where to start. “You can really start with whatever you want,” Heeren said. “But if you’re looking for the easiest produce, tomatoes are more basic. Carrots and radishes are good, too. “They are the least maintenance.” Heeren said that commitment is key and talking to an experienced gardener will help you in the long run. “The best advice I received once is ‘all a young gardener needs is an old gardener’ – meaning the best you can do is ask advice from someone who has made the mistakes already,” he said. Limited space can intimidate young adults to shy away from gardening. Generally, young adults do not own their own homes. They live in apartments or have roommates. “Space isn’t an issue. You can work around space,” Heeren said. There are several strategies anyone can buy from a local store to garden in a limited space environment. An “earth box” is basically a mini mobile garden-made-easy that you fill with soil and water accordingly. (Visit for more info.)

According to Heeren, the local band The Ditty Bops recently toured with an earth box in their van, growing vegetables and eating their produce “just to prove they could do it. Just to prove space shouldn’t prevent anyone from gardening.” An “elevated garden” (or a raised garden bed) is an aboveground garden; basically a wooden box. (You can buy them in various sizes, or you can build one yourself to save money. Visit Whether you’re looking for a way to save money on food, a cheap recreational activity, or that pleasant “Look what I did!” feeling, consider gardening. “Again, it’s the sustainability,” Heeren said. “It’s a good feeling to be independent and have your own produce to enjoy.” Or another way to look at it: the fruits of your labor. The Rock Garden Tour airs Thursday nights from 8-10 p.m., on 94.5 KCFS (USF’s radio station), and Sunday nights from 1011 p.m., on SDPB Radio. Or visit | 31

get(ting) involved MUSIC & MISSION HAITI with Scarlett Letter by Danielle Jaeger

Photos courtesy of Mike Liedtke

A local band is binding together to make a difference, and they’re doing it in a big way. Scarlet Letter is an up and coming Christian pop/rock band from the Sioux Falls area that has a passion for not only music, but mission work as well. The band’s members Aubrey Bohl (lead vocalist), Art Diaz (lead guitarist), Tyler Klusmann (drummer), and Ty Ford (bassist) have been playing together at local venues for five months now. “Our normal venues are churches, schools and local acoustic venues such as Latitude 44, Grille 26 and Firehouse Underground, and will include festivals this summer,” said Bohl. The members of Scarlet Letter be-

lieve in making a difference locally and around the world. Earlier this year, Scarlet Letter scheduled a trip to Haiti, hoping to bring music and compassion to the broken country. However, after the devastation caused by the recent earthquake, their trip was pushed back to a later date.

32 | May 2010

“ O u r trip was originally supposed to take place January 14th, but was deterred when the earthquake str uck ,” said Bohl. “We were even more determined to get there after hearing the news, but were not able to book a flight until March 31st.” Hoping to channel their efforts through mission work, they teamed up with Mission Haiti, a non-profit organization based out of Sioux Falls. The band members stayed at an orphanage founded by the organization and

experienced the repercussions of the earthquake on an already impoverished country firsthand. “We showered with five gallon buckets of water pumped out of a well, washed our hands in buckets of water with a bar of soap, and ate meat killed just hours before it was cooked,” said Bohl. “Even though this all sounds rough, it was amazing.” During their week long trip to Haiti, the members of Scarlet Letter gained new insight and experienced the heartbreaking reality of people in need. They volunteered their time and energy leading worship, delivering supplies and helping out at the orphanages and schools in the mountains. “The entire country of Haiti is in shambles. Most people don’t have shoes or proper clothing, and the roads are so awful that it’s nearly impossible to get anywhere,” said Bohl. “At one school in the mountains, I picked up a little girl and she fell asleep in my

arms. A lady came over and told me that her parents had been killed in the earthquake. There are thousands of stories like that.” Traveling through Port-au-Prince, the city largely affected by the earthquake, gave the members of Scarlet Letter the chance to experience the devastation reported on the news with all five senses. “As we were passing the collapsed palace, a Haitian man with us made the comment that he knew at least five people still trapped in the building. Just as he said that, the smell hit us,” said Bohl. “Thousands of bodies still lay under the rubble. People cannot forget about Haiti. It is going to take years to rebuild. It’s so important to still raise awareness and support for the country and its people.” Looking past the rubble and the pain may have been difficult, but the

members of Scarlet Letter were there to offer positivity to a country heavily burdened by the negative. Through music and a little hard work, Scarlet Letter brought happiness to the people of Haiti, giving them a chance to get lost in music built on a strong foundation of faith. “We got to play an acoustic rock show the last night we were there, which was awesome. The kids were dancing and jumping around, even though they had no idea what we were saying,” said Bohl. As soon as they arrived back in the states, Scarlet Letter began laying the preliminary groundwork for future trips to Haiti and other destinations, as well as local benefits. “We can’t wait to make another trip to Haiti and to hopefully become a familiar face to the kids there,” said Bohl.

“We will help wherever we feel called and needed.” Haiti is still in need of the love and support of individuals able to lend a helping hand. The worst thing the world can do is forget about those less fortunate affected by poverty and/ or disaster or shut out the stories of the suffering simply because it hurts to hear. “There are still thousands of residents wounded, homeless, sick, and starving. It will take billions of dollars and years of help to rebuild what was already a country in devastation,” said Bohl. “We think the most important thing the youth of Sioux Falls can do is to continue to raise awareness and support in schools, churches and at youth events. The need in Haiti is endless and every little bit helps.” Now that they have returned home, Scarlett Letter hopes to share their experiences of their travels to Haiti with their fans, inspiring them to spread the word and continue to raise awareness. In addition, a portion of the profits made from the sale of band t-shirts goes directly to help Mission Haiti and their cause. If you are interested in attending a Scarlet Letter show visit www.MySpace. com/ScarletLetterBand or check out www. to see how you can help. | 33


Image by Candace Ann Photography

Yes, all three of these guys are named John. Yes it was a popular name in the ’80s (I’m sure you feel their pain all you Katies, Michaels and Jessicas). But these three gentlemen, when not slaving away at Worlds of Warcraft, are here to answer every question you throw at them. They’re suave, sort of hip and are here for you. The identity of these three amigos have been altered to protect the innocent. 1.) My friend keeps venting to me about her rude boyfriend and tells us stories that literally make our mouths drop. Then the next day she tells us they are back together and are fine. Can I put my foot down? -Annoyed

with someone else, she must first believe that she is a worthwhile person.

JP: I think you are entitled to say whatever you want since your friend tells you everything he/she wants.

JP: It’s due to a chemical imbalance in the cerebral cortex that causes the neurotransmitters to send incorrect impulses across a synapse. I’m pretty sure that made no sense. Sorry, Josh.

JW: This is better than going to the movies! Why would you want to stop a one man show that comes to you!? JT: No, because she will never see it as a problem until she realizes it is a problem. She has grown numb to his abusive behavior and now she has become content with it. In order for her to take control of this situation she has to first recognize it on her own. Once she sees it as a problem, it is then up to her to decide whether or not to change it (not you). Instead of saying something about her relationship, just continue to be her friend and go above and beyond to constantly remind her of the fact that she is a great friend and person. She needs to know what it feels like to have someone tell her that she is special, even if it comes from you. If she wants to have a worthwhile re l a t i o n s h i p 34 | May 2010

2.) I caught my girlfriend going through my Facebook account. Why are girls crazy? -Josh, 22

JW: Because girls are girls and if they weren’t crazy they wouldn’t be girls. On a side note, get one of those fingerprint scan password computers. Or just don’t ‘poke’ girls on Facebook. JT: You need to figure out why she is so interested in going through your account without you knowing. Does she not trust you? Does she have a reason for not trusting you? Or is she just crazy? You need to sit down with her and ask her. And if you see this relationship going anywhere, then you both should be able to trust one another enough to

let the other go through your accounts. As they say, if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to worry about. 3.) I was so excited for a trip with my girlfriends when I heard our dramatic friend is going as well. She always ruins everything with drama. Is there anything I can do to help prevent it, or is my trip screwed? -Help JP: I don’t think you should let a dramatic friend ruin a whole trip, otherwise you might be the dramatic one. JW: Ugh. Take a vote, majority rules. If it were me that friend would be left at home. JT: I think there is only one way to prevent drama; avoid the people that cause it. If she creates this much drama, you need to ask yourself why you are friends with her in the first place? Nevertheless, she is already going on this trip so you will have to deal with her one last time (hopefully). But if she starts stirring up drama on the trip, simply ignore her and walk away. If you stay and try to reason with her, you are only adding fuel to the fire.

Have a question for the Johns? Shoot an e-mail their way at

Disclaimer: Ask the Johns is a sarcastic piece. Their advice is not meant to be taken literally… except maybe John T’s.

Go to to become a trash talker this summer!

the scoop: SIMPSONOLOGY by Brittney Hansen

SIMPSONOLOGY [simp-suhn-ol-uh-jee] -noun, plural -gies

Photos by Denise Du Vernay

1. The science that deals with the study of the American animated sitcom, The Simpsons. 2. The study of this science. 3. The features and processes in the science occurring in any given environment: the Simpsonology of Chris Turner’s Planet Simpson; the Simpsonology in the classrooms at UC Berkeley. Origin: 1989-2006 Simpson- + -logy Related term: Simpsonologist [simp-suhn-ol-uh-jist]-noun, plural -gists, a person who specializes in Simpsons research and study Denise Du Vernay considers herself an educator, pop culture freak, voter, rhubarb enthusiast, writer, nervous fidgeter, driver, wine drinker, girlfriend, friend, daughter, aunt and sister – but most importantly, a Simpsonologist. She recently co-authored a textbook called “The Simpsons in the Classroom: Embiggening the Learning Experience with the Wisdom of Springfield.” Du Vernay is also a bi-weekly columnist for, along with coauthor Karma Waltonen. In an article for the Web site called “Confessions of a Simpsons Geek,” Du Vernay wrote, “My love of ‘The Simpsons’ began not unlike anyone else’s, I guess. I remember seeing the shorts on ‘The Tracey Ullman Show.’ I didn’t think it would be fantastic, but I was intrigued by the concept, and watched that first season. The Simpsons and I were pals – not super tight – until I was 21 and got my heart broken. I began spending time with my friend Patrick, who was also a sad mess. I would record the episodes on my parents’ VCR and bring them to his place. Patrick and I watched all of the episodes from that winter and spring, but especially ‘The Otto Show’ and ‘Lisa on Ice’ repeatedly.” Originally from St. Michael, Minn., Du Vernay, 36, received her Bachelor of Arts in English and Earth Science from the University of South Dakota in 1998. Du Vernay fled the Midwest after having her heart broken, and with the help of “The Simpsons,” she moved to Florida to pursue a Master of Arts in Literature. “I didn’t need the awesome companionship of the Simpson family anymore, but I didn’t desert them, not after they’d been there for me,” she wrote on Matchflick.

36 | May 2010

Then one day she met Karma Waltonen. Waltonen was a guest speaker in Du Vernay’s pedagogy class at Florida State University, and a magical union was formed. “We met one day and became instant best friends and discovered that we both loved Weird Al and ‘The Simpsons’ and you couldn’t tear us apart after that,” said Du Vernay. “Once you have a Weird Al connection…” Du Vernay and Waltonen both taught classes on writing about “The Simpsons” at FSU; Du Vernay’s was called “The Simpsons: Satire, Theory and Pop Culture.”

Du Vernay and Waltonen each presented papers the North Eastern Modern Language Association (NEMLA) Conference in Toronto on alternative ways to use humor in the classroom. Du Vernay focused on using “The Simpsons” in the classroom to help teach composition and Waltonen did hers on using stand-up comedy, specifically Eddie Izzard. A woman from a publishing company approached the two and asked them if they had thought about writing a book together about their teaching methods. Du Vernay said that no, they had considered it. Some time passed and they received an e-mail from someone else in the company at McFarland Publishing that was at the conference. “They actually pursued us and when we came up a proposal, we were interested in talking about using comedy in general to help teach different things in the English classroom, but they wanted just to focus on ‘The Simpsons,’” said Du Vernay. “Which we were totally fine with because the Simpsons is an awesome way to enrich every topic you could possibly want to teach.” Du Vernay said they were lucky in that they never had to shop a proposal around to different publishers. “We never even considered going to someone else.” Du Vernay said the writing and editing process was interesting because Waltonen lives in California and teaches at the University of California – Davis and Du Vernay likes in Milwaukee, Wisc. and teaches at the Milwaukee School of Engineering. They would each write a chapter of the textbook, exchange the chapters via e-mail and edit them that way. “I don’t know how people wrote books before computers as we know it, let alone co-write a book with someone from a different state,” said Du Vernay. Du Vernay said she consulted with several of her former professors while working on the book, including Susan Wolfe, the Department Chair of Languages, Linguistics and Philosophy. “Karma and I drew upon previous professors, our teaching experience and our experience as students,” said Du Vernay. “So this book really is full of collaboration and it’s not just for ‘The Simpsons’ fan, I think that it would help anyone that wants to use pop culture or who wants to use something a little bit different or a little bit unique to make their courses fresh.” Waltonen teaches composition, rhetoric and literature at UC - Davis, as well as special seminars in British humor and American satire. Du Vernay teaches classes that are mandatory for many freshmen, and she said many them do not think they need to take composition, or speech, or that they need to learn about art or literature since they are going to a school specifically for engineering. She said the biggest challenge is to get them engaged, because some of them feel that humanities and liberal arts are a waste of their time since they may not always appear directly relevant to their field.

“What do they need to know who Georgia O’Keefe is?” she said. “I kind of trick them into learning.” There is an episode of “The Simpsons” called “Mom & Pop Art” that Du Vernay uses in her humanities class to connect her students to modern art. In the episode, Homer accidentally becomes a pop artist sensation over night, and Marge takes him to visit a modern art museum. “I show that one because there’s an actual lesson where she takes Homer to the modern art museum of Springfield that just happens to have a bunch of the pieces that we talk about in my humanities class at MSOE,” said Du Vernay. “So I show them that episode and tell them to keep an eye out and make them learn from Marge’s lecture along with my own lectures and their textbooks.” There are specific chapters in the textbook that deal with teaching specific courses, but there is also a chapter on post modernism is that Du Vernay said any student of theory, English major or philosophy who wants to understand the basics of postmodernism or post structuralism could greatly benefit from. There is also a chapter that dissects “The Simpsons” and its effects on culture and the way that culture is affected by the show. “So it’s also really good for people who are interested in pop culture or media studies,” she said. Du Vernay said her favorite “Simpsons” character is Lisa, but it changes frequently. “Sometimes I just really love Bart!” She said she likes Lisa because she is often the voice of reason, but the writers also let her be an 8-year-old girl sometimes. “She is complicated, she is not just the voice of reason 100 percent of the time, she also gets to be a little kid, too.” Du Vernay said she often uses Lisa as an example when talking about argument and rhetoric in her composition classes. She said her favorite episode is “Lisa’s Substitute” from season two where Dustin Hoffman is the guest voice of the substitute teacher. Hoffman’s character uses a variety of untraditional methods to reach the students, such as bringing in a guitar, and he has a profound effect on many of the students, especially Lisa. “It’s so funny, but it still has a lot of heart,” she said. Du Vernay and Waltonen draw upon many of these principals in their own classrooms to engage students. The textbook shares exercises, prompts and even syllabi that have proven victorious in their own courses. Pre-orders of the textbook are available through, Barnes and Noble and McFarland Publishing, and are currently shipping. The official book launch is set for July 2010. Du Vernay is also working on her first novel and contributing a chapter on feminism to a book on Spongebob and philosophy. To see random facts about “The Simpsons,” check out | 37

quiz: ARE YOU A BAD GUEST? 4 When you get to a party, you: a) Find the host(s) and thank them for inviting you. b) Find a beverage of choice. c) Aren’t even sure whose house you’re at.

5 A party you are at is nearing its end. You: a) Leave and see what’s next. b) Offer to help clean up. If they say no you call the next morning to see if there is a mess and if they need help. c) Thank the host(s) for a great evening.

1 You come to a dinner party. You: a) Take advantage of the free wine and snarf the great food. b) Offer to help them cook or set up the table and make sure to have good manners. c) Bring some friends who also love pasta. The more the merrier!

You and Steve-O Would Have a Grand Time 7-10 points Being aware of other people and having common courtesy will help

2 When it’s an event like a BBQ, you:

you out in the long run and help

a) Make sure to bring something like a side or

you keep/make friends. Trust us.

beverages to share.

People Will Still Invite You Over 3-6 points

b) Show up. c) Bring whatever you need cooked.

3 When you stay at a friend’s house for a

You aren’t over-the-top polite, but

weekend, you:

make sure not to overstay your

a) Let them know when you’re coming, but if you have

welcome. Also try to think of nice

nothing to do, or if it’s, fun you stay a couple extra days.

things to do for people who invite

b) Let them know when you are arriving and leaving.

you over. They will return the

c) Leave the schedule open. When you show up, you


show up, and when you feel like leaving, you’ll leave.

Polite Police 0-2 points You know the protocol and are probably a host’s dream guest. Party on.

ANSWERS 1.) a. 2 b. 0 c. 1, 2.) a. 0 b. 2 c. 1, 3.) a. 1 b. 0 c. 2, 4.) a. 0 b. 1 c. 1, 5.) a. 2 b. 0 c. 1

38 | May 2010

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the real deal EMILY MILLER Hometown: Irene, SD | Age: 22 | Specialty: Dance

I have wanted to be in pageants since I was in 2nd Grade. I happen to be dyslexic and I was once told that with better grades I could do anything I wanted, and I wanted to be in pageants. + Emily Miller

40 | May 2010

On May 16, the citizens of Sioux Falls and South Dakota as a whole should tune in to NBC at 7 p.m. and glue themselves to the Miss USA Pageant. The contestant we are rooting for is Emily Anne Miller, a 22-yearold Irene, SD native who hopes to knock the socks off the judges and even Donald Trump, the mogul behind this pageant. “I have had the title of Miss South Dakota since October 18 and I am ready for the competition this year,” said Miller. This year marks the 59th edition of the Miss USA pageant. It will be taking place at The Theater for Performing Arts at the Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. The ladies representing all 50 states and British Columbia will be competing amongst elegance and style. “I’ve met half of the other girls at the Miss USA Retreat and will meet the other half on May 3. I am a little nervous, but I have a great support system,” said Miller. Miller has been participating in pageants since she was 12 years old, including The Dreamgirls Pageant, National Teenager South Dakota and Miss South Dakota America. “I have wanted to be in pageants since I was in 2nd Grade. I happen to be dyslexic and I was once told that with better grades I could do anything I wanted, and I wanted to be in pageants,” said Miller.

by Royce Larson Photos Courtesy of Future Productions

Miller is a student at the University of Nevada Las Vegas. She has taken on three different majors, one being her pride and joy: dance performance. Her minor degrees are in entertainment management and accounting. “I figure that dancing is a profession that helps if you are young, but if I end up opening my own dance studio someday that Management and Accounting will help. I hope to be a professional dancer, and when I graduate I would love to move to New York City and become a Rockette,” said Miller. When it comes to being a representative for South Dakota in a major pageant like Miss USA, there is a little pressure involved. It has been 37 years since a contestant from South Dakota has placed within the top 15. In no way does this say anything about the beauty or talent that these ladies have had, but simply the way the judges tallied their scores. The Miss USA Pageant bases their scores on 3 different divisions: interview, evening gown and swimsuit. One of Miller’s biggest causes she fights for is disabilities. “If you have a disability it may be hindering, but I say… just do it. Be who you want to be. Overcome all your boundaries,” said Miller. Tune in to see if this is the year South Dakota gets the crown on May 16 at 7 p.m. on NBC. Find more out about Miller at or about the Miss USA pageant at


CONGRATULATIONS TO JOSH MERCHANT, WINNER OF 605’S FIRST ANNUAL GREAT MIDWEST BRACKETOLOGY. Josh won a personalized trophy from Ad-Star, a $50 bar tab at Club David and a Flame On Entertainment music package. Like us on Facebook and you could be next year’s winner! Thank you to Ad-Star, who help companies and organizations of all types to attact, retain and reward prospects, clients and employees with the use of unique promotional products and apparel. They have been in business for 25+ years, guarantee your satisfaction and have the region’s largest showroom. Thank you to Club David, the only night club and skyline patio in town and thank you to Flame On Entertainment for products from Trey Lane, V the Noble One and Adapt.



days | 41

fashion may 2010


day to

night Not sure how to transform your day outfit into night? Simply changing up accessories and shoes can totally change your look, and 605 will show you how.

photos by Candace Ann Photography model Leonia Tran 42 | May 2010

Kelly green burnout t-shirt, $29. 1921 80’s boyfriend jeans, $179. Neon checkered scarf, $23. BC Footwear gold leather sandals, $30. Available at AMaVo Boutique.

Mac & Jac ruffle top, $59. Alternative vintage soft leggings, $29. Green scarf, $23. BC Footwear black leather flats, $59. Available at AMaVo Boutique.

Lovely People multi red heels, $98. Headband, $39. Purple suede belt, $107. Available at AMaVo Boutique.

White cargo jacket, $73. Rose statement ring, $49. Seychelles Orange leather heels, $55. Available at AMaVo Boutique. | 43

213 by Michelle Kim dress, $139. Flower stone bracelet, $39. Seychelles gold suede sandals, $45. Available at AMaVo Boutique.

Flying Tomato faux leather jacket, $93. Filligree dangle earrings, $16. Seychelles black suede gypsy heels, $109. Available at AMaVo Boutique.

44 | May 2010

Alternative black wrap, $39. Wish Collection Lounge cami, $23. 213 by Michelle Kim floral skirt, $109. BC Footwear gold leather sandals, $30. Available at AMaVo Boutique. Necklace, $39. Feather and floral clip, $53. Seychelles black suede gypsy heels, $109. Available at AMaVo Boutique.

Want to model for 605? E-mail a headshot and full-body shot to Do you shop at local boutiques or shops? Tell them you read 605 and you want to see them in the next issue! | 45

health FINDING YOUR JOY The Butterfly Rainbow Center by Molly Keen

Photos by Dan Thorson

Stressed, overworked, tense, chaotic, unbalanced, unsatisfied. Do some of these words sound a bit too familiar? It seems impossible to escape the cycle of the daily grind to find just one moment of relaxation and restoration. Enter: The Butterfly Rainbow Center. To understand the Butterfly Rainbow Center, you must first understand founders Randy Smith and Rita Taylor. After realizing physics and electrical engineering just weren’t quite right, Randy packed his bags and toured the United States before discovering his passion for Asian medicine. Rita, an unfulfilled pharmacist, was led to practice Reiki and Thai massage and was ready to make Thailand her permanent home. And then Randy and Rita met. “When we met there was an explosion of the ideas and dreams that we each had individually,” Randy explained. “It just kind of blossomed.” The Butterfly Rainbow Center has done nothing but blossom since. A healing center for discovering balance on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels, the Butterfly Rainbow Center on 23rd and Minnesota houses a clinic, retail store and workshop space. Among the ever-growing list of therapeutic services, classes and retail items offered are acupuncture, Thai massage, yoga, belly dancing, Reiki classes, healing crystals from around the world and Rita’s hand-crafted jewelry. There really is no end to the collection of tools provided for healing. “Healing takes place in layers,” Rita described. “People are drawn to whatever they need to help them with that first layer and then we can move on from there.” New methods of healing are constantly being explored. For example, on May 8th Rita and yoga instructor Mary DeJong will lead a session with crystal singing bowls and restorative yoga to awaken and clear the chakras. “In Restorative yoga props are used to support yourself so you can breathe into poses for a longer time,” Rita explained. “As I play the bowls their soothing tones will compliment this effect to deepen your release.” The Butterfly Rainbow Center is the only place in the area that has crystal singing bowls. Coming from personal experience, they are not something to be missed. But crystal singing bowls are better experienced than described, much like the Butterfly Rainbow Center itself. Randy and Rita encourage everyone to come in and see firsthand what the Butterfly Rainbow Center is all about. Retail hours are Tuesday and Thursday from 11 a.m. -6 p.m. and Saturday from 12-5 p.m. Go in, relax

46 | May 2010

on the comfy cushions, browse the shop, or pick up some information about the Inner Circle Membership Program and become a member of the Butterfly Rainbow Center community. “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts,” Randy described. “That’s the way we view the whole idea of balance and health and the underlying concept of putting all this together.” “Right,” Rita agreed. “It’s all about finding your joy.”

Visit for a full list of services and classes. E-mail Rita at or call (605) 940-0700 for more information and to register for classes. | 47

Nautical Stripes… now where’s the yacht? Sunscreen. You don’t want to look like George Hamilton.

Vertical stripes. Scary. Baby oil.


Jean leggings.

Jean leggings. Do you really need to know why?


what’s boss GET LOST





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May 2010  

605 Magazine May 2010 Edition