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Nods, Waves, Smiles, & Real-Life Cowboys by Dr. John F. Miller DDS
Edit note: Please enjoy this entertaining column from a few years ago from Dr Miller. He is opening up a second location at 115 Commons Way in Kalispell in March so things have been busy in preparation.
I currently have the active role of Father to four children. Which is another way of saying that I’m being taken to school on a daily basis. It has been, and will continue to be, an education. One might suggest that we are raising each other. I’m going for my PhD in…rearing (I have got to be the only person to say that…like ever). My wife asked if I was going to have “the procedure” done. I told her, “Welp, I have a soft tissue laser, the internet, a foggy grasp of reproductive anatomy, and the farmer’s daughter for a wife…so we can probably do it at home.” The negotiations continue. One of my favorite things about parenting is watching kids learn the rules of society; Social Norms, if you will. I tell my friends who do not have children of their own (on some days I refer to these friends as geniuses) to imagine going out in public with four mouths that you are responsible for, all attached to different brains with varying filter levels. If one or more of those mouths goes rogue, the judgment is on you, not the innocent kid.
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Society has, as it seems, placed a lot of value on a nice smile. Famed social scientist and one of my favorites authors, Malcolm Gladwell, has concluded that our smiles have a definite influence on our social mobility. He explains that bad teeth and obesity are part of “the next wave” of physical discrimination in society. In a nutshell, your smile will greatly influence your personal and professional relationships.
oman.com
An important component of any relationship, perhaps the most important, is the very first meeting. Also, known as The First Impression! I conducted my own little experiment for this article and Googled “great first impressions.” In 0.34 seconds 46.6 million options were at my fingertips. But, as any Googler knows, you’re only interested in the first page of organic search results. This first page had 10 results from respected sources such as Forbes, Psychology Today, etc. and all were focused on First Impression instruction. Here is the data from reading all 10 sources: 7 reference having a pleasant smile directly, 2 reference physical appearance without a direct reference to smiling, and one was focused on first impressions over the phone so smiling was not applicable.
It is not lost on me that I’m a dentist and that I have a vested interest in your smiles, but this is one of those “don’t hate the messenger” scenarios. My research also taught me that it takes mere seconds for the first impression to be made, and that the first impression is formed entirely off what are labeled Non-Verbal Cues. Remaining in the context of first impressions, important non-verbal cues include posture, eye contact, dress and grooming, your smile, etc. All of these cues have the good and the not-so-good.