ESCAPE FROM LA (sample)
Written by Ryan Ostrovsky
PART ONE
INT. PLANE - DAY
The year is 20XX. WORLD (a young professional with an air of seriousness) is sitting on a flight to LA, first class. The STEWARDESS passes with a tray of drinks and snacks.
STEWARDESS
More coffee, sir?
WORLD
No, thanks. Another cup and I’ll brown my pants.
The stewardess uncomfortably continues on. An OLDER MAN (mustache, very formal) is sitting next to him.
OLDER MAN
You’re just like me.
World ignores him.
OLDER MAN
Let me guess, you’re going to LA to chase your dreams of fame and fortune?
WORLD
Close. I’m on a business trip.
OLDER MAN
And what business is that?
WORLD
None of yours.
The older man shrugs it off and returns to his tea. World decides to get some shuteye…
He wakes abruptly to flashing red lights and the whole airplane in a panic. The old man next to him is praying. World struggles with his seatbelt and gets up. He grabs a stewardess who is running across the aisle.
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WORLD
What’s happening?
STEWARDESS
Everything’s shut down! The pilot’s won’t open the cockpit! The red lights are in effect!
World releases her as she runs off. Spiraling into a panic himself, someone hits him on the head with their luggage and he is out cold.
TITLE CARD - ESCAPE FROM LA
EXT. WRECKAGE - DAY
World comes to in the wreckage of the plane crash. He climbs out to find that not only is he in the middle of the city, but there are hordes of zombies wandering the streets. He grabs his newspaper (which is somehow perfectly intact) which reads: “NEW REVOLUTIONARY SCIENCE BRINGS BACK THE DEAD!” With a picture of a scientist, Brian Zambinowitz.
WORLD
Ah, I should’ve known that was too good to be true.
A nearby zombie hears him. It stops in its tracks, and slowly cranes its head to lock on to World’s position.
WORLD
Oh.
The zombie breaks out into a death sprint and World runs, dropping the newspaper. Up ahead, he spots a partially-open manhole. He makes for the manhole, narrowly escaping the zombie, and closes the lid behind him.
INT. SEWER
On the paved area next to the actual sewer, there is a thriving Kibbutz. World begins descending. There are multiple tents set up, a spitfire roast going, and several Hassidics
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with Yarmulke and long beards. Two men, MORDECAI and YAKOV, are sitting by the spitfire.
MORDECAI
Oy vey, who left the manhole open?
YAKOV
You were the last one out. I kept telling you remember to close the manhole so the Goyem can’t get in.
MORDECAI
It’s true. But I say let the Goyem come. Why do they deserve to be eaten by zombies any more than we do?
YAKOV
They don’t keep kosher. They don’t observe the Sabbath. There are manholes all over the city for those who live against the word of God.
WORLD
I’m sorry, but what’s going on here?
The Hassidics look on in surprise.
MORDECAI
The Goyem speaks!
YAKOV
I’m sorry but you’ve been living under a rock maybe?
WORLD
I just flew in when, I assume, this all started.
MORDECAI
Oy gevalt! Three days without noshing? You must be starving. Here take a seat.
WORLD No kidding. Page of 4 23
Mordecai scoots over and makes a plate of the spitfire roast for World, who digs in to it. There is a man selling Tallit for pieces of flint.
WORLD
How much food do we have down here?
MORDECAI
Just the rabbit I caught earlier.
YAKOV
It’s a kosher rabbit, mind you.
MORDECAI
There’s a supermarket 5 blocks away. A good one? I’m not so sure.
WORLD
We’re going to have to make a supply run.
YAKOV (yelling)
Yeshua! We’re making a supply run!
YESHUA
Oy vey. You’re telling me we have to go out there again?
YAKOV
I don’t know what’s worse, the zombies or the Goyem.
EXT. STREET - DAY
World opens the manhole cover and looks around. The coast is clear. He carefully climbs out, and four Hasidic Jews (armed with machine guns) follow him. They get to an intersection. Hugging the building, World looks past both ways. He gives them a go ahead signal and they all run across. One of them accidentally steps on a radio, which starts playing classical music very loudly. He tries to turn it off, but the button is jammed. Zombies within a mile hear the music, seem confused, but follow the source anyway. The group sees zombies begin to approach from around the corners, and they break out in a run for the supermarket. The Hassidics mow down zombies, but they attract many more. They finally make it to the supermarket, the automatic doors open for them.
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INT. SUPERMARKET
The automatic doors close but the zombies are quickly approaching. The automatic door (with the bell) opens for the hordes of zombies. World shoots the motion sensor with a pistol and the doors slam back shut.
WORLD
Grab as much as you can. Non-perishables are gold. Canned goods, stuff like that.
They split up. World finds the aisle where they keep canned beans, and see the glorious canned beans on the shelf. Just then, a woman JASPER (rough, hard glare) approaches from the other side of the aisle.
WORLD
Oh, hello.
World takes the can of beans. JASPER approaches with her cart filled with cans, bags, and boxes.
JASPER
Sorry, but that’s mine.
World is in astonishment.
WORLD
The beans?
JASPER Yes.
WORLD
They were on the shelf.
JASPER
That’s right, because I had put them there because I had to get something else. I was coming right back for them.
WORLD
Sorry, but if it’s on the shelf, it’s not yours.
They stare each other down. Jasper pulls out her pistol.
WORLD
Ah ah ah.
World is pointing his pistol at the man on the can of beans.
WORLD
Drop the pistol or Chef Luigi gets it.
WORLD (doing a voice) Please, a do what he say.
JASPER
This isn’t a time for joking.
WORLD
I’m sorry.
World hands over the beans. BORK (very big, fighting guy) appears at the end of the aisle.
BORK
Jasper, we need to go.
JASPER
Calm down Bork I’m just getting beans.
Bork eyes World.
BORK
Hey bud, thanks for bringing all these zombies here.
WORLD
Sorry, I’m new in town.
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Jasper and Bork kinda look at each other.
WORLD
I didn’t know it was zombie season, though.
BORK
You think this is funny? We’re probably about to die right now.
JASPER
That’s what I’m saying.
WORLD
Just trying to lighten the mood.
BORK
Jasper, come on. Let’s go.
They go. World trails them.
WORLD Wait.
They reach the back entrance of the supermarket where LANTHER (skinny, technician) and E (tall, silent figure) are waiting for them. Lanther is fidgeting with a GPS device.
LANTHER
I predict a 33.3, repeating of course, percent chance of survival.
Everyone looks at him.
WORLD
Who let Doctor Nerd Alert in?
JASPER
You’re still here?
WORLD Page of 8 23
Look, I’m a medical doctor. I could be of use.
The gang looks at each other.
BORK
Sorry, but the van’s full.
JASPER
We have children and sick and wounded, Bork. We could use a doctor.
BORK
This guy’s a clown.
LANTHER
No, Bork. The real clowns are back at the base. This is a doctor and we can use him.
E slowly nods.
JASPER E?
BORK
Alright, kid. Welcome to the team.
World runs back to the Hasidics.
WORLD Wait.
WORLD
This is where we part ways.
MORDECAI
And leave us for dead in a supermarket? Talk about a Mitzvah.
WORLD
You can come with us. Page of 9 23
YAKOV
No, you have your fun. We’ll just stay here. No need to worry about us. We’ll just live the rest of our days in the supermarket.
MORDECAI
He’s gone you can stop.
INT. VAN
World, Jasper, Bork, Lanther, and E are sitting in the van. World is sandwiched between Bork and Lanther in the back.
LANTHER
Status update. This is not looking good.
JASPER What is it?
LANTHER
My battery just died.
There is some silence.
JASPER
Bork, stop here. Let’s check out this drug store really quick.
BORK
Why? With this one back here I’m sure he’ll find a way to screw this up.
WORLD
The supermarket wasn’t even my fault. I actually stopped the zombies from coming in—
BORK
Okay. Save it for the memoir.
INT. DRUG STORE
The group goes in. There is a zombie clerk. Jasper grabs a knife and slashes its throat. Page of 10 23
WORLD Woah!
BORK
Heh heh. First knife death?
JASPER
I just need to grab some hydrogen peroxide. I’ll be back.
LANTHER
Ooh, I need cotton balls.
BORK
Yeah. I’m gonna see if the pharmacy hasn’t been raided.
World stares at E, who stares back at him in silence.
WORLD
Umm..I also need cotton balls.
World joins Lanther in the gauze-pads section.
LANTHER
Well I see gauze pads, which should work fine…
WORLD
Hey, what’s the deal with that guy E?
LANTHER
Oh him? I’m not sure. He just kinda showed up. Now that I think of it, I don’t know how he came to join us.
There is a bang. The two turn their heads, but it’s just Bork digging through the supply.
JASPER
Okay. Good to go. Where’s Bork?
BORK
You guys! Extra strength Adderall! Jackpot!
EXT. MCDONALD’S - EVENING
The van pulls up to a corner McDonald’s. There’s a lot of space, a play area, and the windows are boarded up.
BORK
Here we are. HQ.
INT. VAN
WORLD
Your headquarters is a McDonald’s?
JASPER
There was already a base set up here, we all joined separately.
WORLD
How many people are there?
JASPER People?
WORLD …yes?
JASPER
I don’t know.
BORK
The leader is a little nutty.
WORLD
What do you mean?
BORK
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You’ll see.
INT. MCDONALD’S - NIGHT
The dining area has been transformed into a base of sorts. There are sleeping bags lining the floor, some occupied by wounded and sick people. Some children are playing and wearing clown makeup.
WORLD
Okay, so far this seems like a normal McDonald’s.
The leader, RONALD (full clown makeup), appears from behind the kitchen.
RONALD
Hello, sunshine!
WORLD
Um, hi. I’m a doctor. I can help with your sick and wounded.
RONALD
Great! We’ve got lost of those.
Ronald starts walking, in a daydream.
RONALD
Gray skies are gonna clear up! Put on a happy face!
Ronald approaches one of the sick.
RONALD (with anger) Put. On. A. Happy. Face.
WORLD
Is this guy for real?
LANTHER
Oh yeah.
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RONALD
Alright everyone, we’re gonna turn this place into a fortress. Come with me! NOW!
Some reluctant, some excited, follow RM outside. World takes his supplies and starts attending to a wounded person.
WORLD
Let’s see here. Ooh. That is nasty.
WOUNDED PERSON
Gee, thanks doc. Where’d you get your degree, University of Obvious Statements? With a major in—
WORLD
You know, I could just not help you.
WOUNDED PERSON
No please I’m in a lot of pain.
Jasper approaches Ronald.
JASPER
Here’s the food. We got what we could, but there was some zombie pressure.
Ronald glares at her.
RONALD
Don’t use that word!!!
JASPER
Oh, I’m sorry.
Ronald snatches the food from her and disappears into the back, holding eye contact all the way.
// The gang sits down for lunch, McDonald’s again. When Lanther is caught using the zword, one of the kids with machine guns escorts him to the back. He meets with Ronald,
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who makes him “disappear.” They soon find Lanther being stored to be loaded into the meat grinder. (They had just run out of beef). They leave in Bork’s van, but they are chased down by RM, who has some of the kids in clown makeup.
One of the kids, REMY, sounds a loud gong.
REMY Lunchtime.
The residents stand single-file, in line for lunch. Happy Meals are being doled out to each person.
WORLD
So you guys only eat McDonald’s then?
BORK
It’s all they let us eat.
WORLD
But what about the food we just got?
JASPER
It’s being rationed, supposedly.
World gets his food and sits down at the table.
WORLD
Someone should do something about this guy.
BORK
What can we do? Those little twerps have machine guns and we don’t.
LANTHER
It’s an issue. Not to mention all those zombies.
Remy approaches the table, armed with a machine gun.
REMY
Lanther, Ronald would like to have a word with you.
INT. BACK ROOM
The room is dark. Ronald at the end of the room with his back to the door. Lanther approaches cautiously.
LANTHER
You wanted to see me?
Ronald turns around, and gets up.
RONALD
Lanther, you enjoy being here, don’t you?
LANTHER I guess.
RONALD
It’s nice. A place to call home, family, people who love you. And of course, the best food in the world.
Lanther says nothing. Ronald shoots him a deadly glance.
LANTHER
Um, yeah. Whatever you say.
Ronald laughs and lights a cigarette.
RONALD
So I want to know. Why do you hate me, Lanther?
LANTHER
I’m sorry?
RONALD
Well you must hate me. Since you are so bent on breaking my rules. The only rules I have. What are they again?
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REMY
Number one: smiles all the whiles.
RONALD
That’s right. Number two?
TIM
Eat plenty of Big Macs!
RONALD
And number three?
REMY
Don’t use the ‘Z-word’.
Ronald slowly approaches Lanther. The two kids have their machine guns aimed at him. Ronald slowly puts his cigarette out on Lanther’s face. Lanther screams in pain.
INT. MAIN ROOM
World, Jasper, and Bork all notice the muffled screams from the other room.
WORLD
Jeez, what do you think’s happening in there?
BORK
Get used to it, newbie.
The office doors burst open as Remy and Tim exit, followed by Ronald.
RONALD
Alright everybody! Back to work!
World gets up from the table.
WORLD
Where’s Lanther?
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Ronald turns around slowly.
RONALD
Lanther Panther sat on a wall. Lanther Panther had a bad fall.
Ronald exits into the office, slams the door.
INT. MCDONALD’S - NIGHT
World, Bork, and Jasper are in sleeping cots on the floor. E is up against the wall.
WORLD
That clown guy shook me to my core.
JASPER
You get used to it.
WORLD
No, I don’t think I will.
World looks over at the door. Remy is sleeping by the door, machine gun still in hand.
WORLD
It’s past these kids bedtimes.
World sits up.
World slowly gets up.
WORLD
What do you think they did with Lanther?
BORK
Don’t know. Don’t care.
JASPER
What are you doing?
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WORLD
I’m going to find him.
JASPER
You’ll get us all killed!
BORK
Let him go. I told you he’d be trouble.
World tiptoes past the sleeping Remy.
INT. OFFICE - NIGHT
World quietly enters the office. Ronald is sleeping on a cot. World tiptoes by him. Ronald snores, freezing World in his tracks, but it subsides, and World continues. He looks around, not seeing anything, and is about to head back, when he notices a freezer door. He goes to the freezer door and opens it.
INT. FREEZER - NIGHT
World enters the freezer. Lanther is tied up and gagged there. World runs over and removes the gag.
LANTHER
Thank God. They were gonna put me in the meat grinder.
INT. MCDONALD’S - NIGHT
World and Lanther reappear.
JASPER
Oh my God you found him.
WORLD
He was about to be tomorrow’s Big Mac.
JASPER Page of 19 23
You’re kidding.
WORLD
We’re leaving. You coming?
JASPER
Bork. Let’s get out of here, quick.
BORK
I’m not going anywhere.
JASPER
Bork come on. Please.
BORK
Fine. We’ll take my van.
WORLD
What about E?
LANTHER
That guy creeps me out let’s just go.
EXT. MCDONALD’S PARKING LOT - NIGHT
The four of them run out to the van and get in.
INT. VAN - NIGHT
Bork tries to start the van, but it’s sputtering.
BORK
Come on, baby…
LANTHER
Let’s go already! Page of 20 23
BORK
I’m sorry, how about we all climb on you and you can get us out of here?
JASPER
Bork, the man was about to be patties.
WORLD
Yeah, we’re all a little on edge.
BORK No shit.
Bork finally gets the van to start and they peel out. They are riding on the road. There is a beat of silence before a collective sigh.
JASPER
LANTHER
Um…guys?
The gang looks back to see they are being trailed by Ronald, Remy, and Tim in a clown car. (Maybe Jack Stauber’s “Fighter” is playing)
JASPER
You gotta be kidding me.
Remy loads the McCannon with pink goo.
REMY
No one leaves the McFortress!
They escape the city, and go out towards the mountains. The McVehicle skids to a stop.
REMY
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You’re not gonna follow them?
RONALD
That’s not our jurisdiction. Let ‘em go. We’ve got smiles to put on faces.
They drive back.
EXT. WOODS - NIGHT
The gang is sitting around a campfire.
There is quiet.
LANTHER
Where are you guys gonna go?
BORK
I have family in Nantucket. I wanna seem them again, hopefully.
WORLD
This is my first time in LA. It’s less crazy than I expected.
JASPER
I’m not from here either. I’m from Massachusetts. I told myself I’d only come back dead or an actress. Looks like it’s gonna be the former after all.
There is a rustling in the trees. The four immediately prepare for a fight. Jasper takes out a knife. Bork raises and cocks a shotgun. BILLY (suave, hunter guy) walks out.
BILLY
Woah, woah. I come in peace.
// Billy finds out about the zombie apocalypse
BILLY
That explains my Airbnb host. I thought she was using a forward flirtation method.
JASPER
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Wait, so that means there’s no patient zero. It couldn’t have spread that fast.
WORLD
So, it just affects certain people? What’s the criteria?
LANTHER
Well, what do we all have in common?
There is silence for some moments.
JASPER
None of us are from LA.
END OF PART ONE Page of 23 23