3rd Act Magazine – Fall 2016

FALL 2016

Tita Begashaw coaches the Tee Hee Hee Laughter Group at Harborview Medical Center.

RETIREMENT COMMUNITY

MAMMA’S MANNA

CULTURAL CONVERGENCE

OCEANS AND HUMANS

Old World love

The changing face of caregiving

The legacy of John Delaney

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EQUAL HOUSING

Acting Like Grown-Ups When asked about 3rd Act Magazine, David often says, “We’re a magazine for grown-ups.” But just because we’re grown-ups doesn’t mean that we don’t know how to play. I caught the tail end of an NPR interview with Gloria Steinem recently. Talking about later life and the loosening of expectations, she said, “I found by 60, you’re free again…you’re the same person you were at 9 or 10. Only now you have your own apartment.” Asked how she feels to be in her 80s, she said, “Shock—total shock.” And she laughed.

Free again. Freedom and confidence to be who we are and to laugh at ourselves. Laugh out of joy, laugh out of gratitude, laugh at the relentless comic changes we endure. If you find you haven’t been laughing enough lately, Tita Begashaw will remind you just how easy it is. Her magic is instant and infectious.

In Laugh Your Way to Better Health, we point you to her class and others.

When you laugh, your brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that produces feelings of happiness. But when you have Parkinson’s disease, the part of the brain that produces dopamine breaks down. Seattle author Nan Little shares an inspiring story of how she rekindled delight after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s in The Pursuit of Joy Juice.

Deep happiness is also connected with purpose and meaning. And as we age, acting like grown-ups means we start thinking more about what we’re going to leave behind—our legacy. We now have more time and more experience than when we were younger, and perhaps more treasure, too. How are we going to use it? In this issue, several contributors explore this question and offer more than a few ideas: from saving our oceans and ourselves to the simple gift of baking bread. We all have a legacy within us and the capacity to contribute something memorable and valuable.

This issue is full of insight, inspiration, and celebration. In its pages, you’ll see reflections of us all—people who’ve accumulated a few miles. We are full of chapters and stories to be shared; we embody the richness of long lives; and we are building our legacies—playfully. Enjoy the ride!

OU R VI SI ON 3rd Act Magazine endeavors to inform, inspire, and entertain older adults. Our stories and articles challenge worn-out perceptions of aging and offer a dynamic new vision: Aging is good, let’s celebrate and embrace this stage of life, and let’s age together with confidence.

PU B LI SH E RS Victoria Starr Marshall David Marshall EDITOR Victoria Starr Marshall COPY EDITOR Julie Fanselow ART DIRECTOR Mara Doane WEBSITE Philip Krayna, Gayle Fox ADVERTISING Victoria Starr Marshall DISTRIBUTION & CIRCULATION David Marshall CONTRI BUTI N G WRITE RS Allan Ament, Ashley T. Benem, Misha Berson, Kyle Ciminski, Rebecca Crichton, Julie Fanselow, Sally Fox, Hollis Giammatteo, Dori Gillam, Ann Hedreen, Jennifer James, Gretchen M. Krampf, Nancy Linde, Nan Little, Lynnaea Lumbard, Kellie Moeller, Stephanie Prima, Teri Thomson Randall, Joyce Shaffer, Rick Steves, Lisa Stuebing, Liz Taylor COVE R PH OTOG R APHY Teri Thomson Randall WRITE TO US 3rd Act Magazine wants to hear from you!

Email your comments, ideas, and questions to info@3rdActMag.com or mail to 81 Canal Lane, Brinnon, WA 98320.

3rd Act Magazine is published quarterly by Oshi Publishing, LLC. The opinions, advice or statements expressed by contributing writers do not reflect those of the editors, the publishers, or of 3rd Act Magazine.

No part of this magazine may be reproduced without prior consent of the publisher.

It is your responsibility to evaluate the accuracy, completeness or usefulness of any information, opinion, advice, or other content contained herein. Oshi Publishing, LLC makes no representation and, to the fullest extent allowed by law, disclaims all warranties, expressed or implied. The content published herein may include inaccuracies or typographical errors.

Copyright 2016 Oshi Publishing, LLC. All rights reserved.

Oshi Publishing, LLC 81 Canal Lane Brinnon, WA 98320 360-796-4837 Email: info@3rdActMag.com

3rd Act Magazine publishers Victoria and David Marshall let loose a hearty guffaw with laughter coach Tita Begashaw during the cover shoot at Harborview Medical Center.

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

For subscriptions and additional information, see us online at www.3rdActMag.com.

www.3rdActMag.com

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Dine at one of our delicious restaurants, explore the city’s countless attractions, or take part in Mirabella’s lively social and recreational calendar. No matter what you choose, you’ll experience stylish, worry-free urban living at its finest.

Call today to find out how you can retire in the middle of it all, with a full continuum of care at your fingertips.

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contents FEATURES 12 JOHN DELANEY

An oceanographer's lifelong quest gains urgency.

TERI THOMSON RANDALL

18 TIME, TALENT, TREASURE We can be a silver tsunami of beneficence.

LYNNAEA LUMBARD

26 MAMMA'S MANNA

44

Leaving a legacy of sustenance for body and soul.

STEPHANIE PRIMA

44 THE CHANGING FACE OF

CAREGIVING Most of us will need some care as we grow old. Meet who's taking care of us.

ANN HEDREEN

26

ARTFUL AGING 10 AGING DELIBERATELY

When we stop being ashamed, we start being strong.

LIZ TAYLOR

16 GIVING VOICE TO VALUES

How to save your life for posterity.

REBECCA CRICHTON

36

49 50

20 HONOR YOUR LIFE

Jennifer explores how we gather.

JENNIFER JAMES

42 TACKLING TECHNOLOGY

AFTER 60 Embrace the internet with confidence.

SALLY FOX

49 LIVING INTO DYING

Tools for acknowledging grief during the holidays.

ASHLEY BENEM

LIFESTYLE 22 HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Where isn’t as important as how…and with whom.

TERI THOMSON RANDALL

36 MY 3RD ACT

Cyclist and hiker rewrites Parkinson’s “script.”

NAN LITTLE

Aging with Confidence

fall 2016

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18 LIFESTYLE (cont.)

47 WHO ARE YOU CALLING

'ALERT'? When it comes to aging, words matter.

DORI GILLAM

50 CHRISTMAS IN EUROPE It’s not a day, but a season.

RICK STEVES

WELLNESS 24 CIRCLING IN CARE

How to create deep community and support.

ALLAN AMENT

32 LAUGH YOUR WAY TO BETTER HEALTH

It may still be the best medicine.

JULIE FANSELOW

34 TRAINING FOR YOUR FUTURE

Master your balance to stay on your feet.

KYLE CIMINSKI

38 IT'S YOUR TURN TO PLAY

Don’t let your grandkids have all the fun.

LISA STUEBING

40 GRATITUDE FOR BRAIN

HEALTH Gratitude is good for the giver, the receiver, and for your brain.

JOYCE SHAFFER

IN EVERY ISSUE 8

TIME TO TALK Help with pressing questions on aging and transitions.

KELLIE MOELLER

52 ON THE TOWN

An insider’s hot tips on Seattle area arts events.

MISHA BERSON

54 BOOK REVIEWS

Inspiration for the Journey I LOVE 3rd Act. My dear 91-year-old friend gave me a copy when we had lunch last weekend. She is well aware of my interest in teaching people to easily talk about death and dying to inspire our living—and to elicit the stories of our amazing wisdom keepers. I’m delighted she passed 3rd Act my way. Outstanding resource.

I will be connecting with you as I continue with my vision for my 3rd Act. Thank you. Thank you.

— Sue Dyer Bainbridge Island

Discovering the Northwest (and 3rd Act Magazine) I picked up your magazine at Thrive Gym in Anacortes. I was excited to get it home and read it. I just finished reading the Publisher’s Message and can’t wait to get through the rest of it.

I moved to Washington from the East Coast in February. I am doing a year of service in Mount Vernon as an AmeriCorps VISTA (Volunteer In Service To America) at a community action organization. I am sucking the life out of life and enjoying every last bit of it. I’m a 55-year-old city girl (born and raised in NYC) who has found the beauty of the Pacific Northwest in my 3rd Act and am seriously considering not moving back to the East. I believe considering a year of service is a wonderful thing for my peers. I would suggest you consider writing about this option for women our age.

Thank you for your inspiration and positive words about aging

confidently, vibrantly, and with gusto.

I can’t wait to read every article in your magazine!

Be inspired.

— Hilda Maria Anacortes

Just Keep Rowing A friend brought your magazine to my attention and I was interested in the article about the Green Lake female rowers. I too am a master’s rower and rowed at Green Lake for about 16 years. Anne Martin is a friend with whom I rowed on many occasions.

Because of vision problems I had to stop driving and had to quit my Saturday morning trips from Tacoma to Green Lake.

But I have not stopped rowing. In 2015 I was the oldest of 3,500 rowers from around the world at the races in Hazewinkel, Belgium. At age 91 I am still rowing on American Lake in Lakewood but my racing days may be over. Age is just a number.

— Burk Ketcham Tacoma

55 COMING ATTRACTIONS

Don't miss these fall shows and events.

56 BRAIN GAMES Challenge yourself with these word puzzles.

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

www.3rdActMag.com

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Inside Nor thgate Mall

206.362.6227

We buy, trade and sell

Come in for a free assessment of your jewelry

time to talk

BY KELLIE MOELLER

H

olidays are special family time and can often be a challenge as we bring together several generations of people to celebrate. Let’s explore some of the more common questions that can come up during this season.

At a recent family gathering, my father confessed to the family that he is no longer driving at night and he recently got lost on his way to a familiar destination. I am troubled, because I have also noticed that he is not keeping his house or himself up like he did before my mother passed away. Should I be worried?

The joy of the holidays is sometimes accompanied by an uncomfortable reality check. Our once vibrant and independent parents may show signs of aging that can make us uncomfortable or even call us to become family advocates.

15 Silent Calls For Help

1 The house and yard need maintenance.

2 Clothing, hair, or makeup are disheveled.

3 Home appliances are broken.

4 Housekeeping is deteriorating.

They are at home a large percentage of time 5 and not getting out.

6 Old and spoiled food is in the refrigerator.

7 Kellie Moeller has worked in the senior housing industry in the Northwest for more than a decade.

With an insider’s view and a passion for serving seniors, she gives a fresh perspective on aging.

Email your questions to TimetoTalk@3rdAct Magazine.com or mail your questions to Time to Talk, 3rd Act Magazine, 81 Canal Lane, Brinnon,WA 98320.

Bathing is infrequent or personal hygiene is compromised.

8 There are signs of depression.

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There is mobility difficulty with stairs, chairs, and balance.

10

There is a growing history of falls, or hospital visits.

11 There is confusion or repeating conversations.

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They are no longer making meals—or they’re losing weight.

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There is loss of interest in hobbies and social activities.

14 Medication errors happen.

15 They avoid family activities.

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

If you notice any of these signs, it is time to have an open dialogue with your parents. Having a plan in place for future health care decisions is an important part of retirement. Starting the conversation may be difficult, but talking now will help prepare the way for the challenges of aging. For a comprehensive list of questions that can help you start the conversation with your parents, read the article 35 Questions to Ask Your Aging Parents at joanlunden.com.

My mother is 85 and we want to make her feel special for the holidays. For years we have celebrated at our parents’ home, but our family is growing and we are creating our own family traditions with our own children. We want mom to feel honored and important while celebrating with us at our house. Are there special considerations we can implement to make this a special time for all?

Honoring our parents is a great place to begin at any festive occasion. Holidays can give them the opportunity to make a special impact even when the celebrations are no longer taking place in their own home. First, make sure that your home is safe and accessible. Provide easy-to-navigate stairs, comfortable seating and a place they can go to rest.

Invite mom to contribute a special family recipe for the menu. Invite her to share a special project, photo, or story with the family, and make this a time where everyone gathers to listen.

Be sure to take current photos or videos, creating a visual legacy that can be shared with family via social media or a digital photo book.

Grandparents are special influencers and love our children like nobody else. Giving them ample time to have face-to-face interaction with each of the children can make holiday celebrations extra special. Lastly, if your mother has physical limitations, make sure that she can “exit graciously” as needed by having a family member ready to accompany her home. www.3rdActMag.com

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Aging with Confidence

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine

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AGING DELIBERATELY

SOURCE: FLICKR IMAGE BY PEDRO RIBEIRO SIMÕES

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A FRIEND TOLD ME RECENTLY that her granddaughter’s fifth-grade class had a whole section devoted to puberty last year, learning about the changes they could expect as they become teenagers, only a few years away.

Liz Taylor, an eldercare specialist for 40 years, lives in the San Juan Islands, where she is semi-retired. She wrote a popular column on aging for The Seattle Times for 14 years, and has consulted with thousands of older adults and their families. Liz can be reached at lizt@ agingdeliberately.com.

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We looked at each other and exclaimed, “I wish someone had taught us about aging!”

Living to 100 is no easy feat today, but almost.

People over 85 are the fastest-growing population segment in America, and many of us are living well into our 90s and, yes, 100s. You might die young, but the chances of dying old, even very old, are much greater. And aging is highly complex—more complex than even puberty.

Yet almost to a person, no one prepares for their old age. No one thinks about preparing. Aging is a mystery and a curse and a bore. And so we deny it.

For the last 70 years, our nation has been obsessed by its young, especially the 75 million baby boomers who were the largest generation in U.S. history until

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

millennials took that role this year. Nobody was ever going to get old.

Until today.

As the first of the boomers speed into their 70s like millions of runaway Mack trucks, we’re still stuck in a youth rut. Never mind that nobody teaches us about aging. The reality is worse: As a nation, we don’t respect or honor aging, despite the lip service we pay. We all want to live a long time—but no one wants to grow old. Old is not cute or powerful. Old is not svelte and zesty. Instead we see it—in ads, movies, TV—as pathetic, doddering, and confused. Needy. Or the exact opposite—and this stereotype didn’t even exist 15 years ago— smiley-faced, wrinkle free, and ecstatic.

Little wonder we hate going there…

So what would it take to change this paradigm? The anti-aging forces are bent on wiping out our wrinkles, so we have to create our own paths.

The first step is the hardest: facing our aging.

Stop being embarrassed about your age or covering up how old you are. Being open about your age is the first clue you’re not ashamed.

When we stop being ashamed, we start being strong.

Pay attention to the labels people call you.

“Senior” and “senior citizen” are pseudohonorific names that marketers invented decades ago to attract older buyers without calling them “old.” Does anyone call young people “juniors”?

“Senior” is patronizing and insulting, a cover-up for our discomfort that people age. Stop using euphemisms. We’re not getting “seniored,” we’re getting older!

The downside of aging, admittedly, is disability, losing our independence, needing care. So, explore the care resources you may need someday—what they are, their quality and cost, and who pays for them. Taking responsibility for doing this now can be a huge relief—and spares your family the agony of doing it for you in a crisis.

If we’re going to live to a ripe old age, let’s put our aging into perspective. Let’s be proud to grow old. Let’s be strong, smart, and interesting—and take care of ourselves. I call this “aging deliberately.”

We can turn the stereotype of aging on its head, even if no one offers a class on how to do it. www.3rdActMag.com

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Over two decades of proud affiliation with

John Delaney He’s wired the oceans.

But can he get us to listen?

WRITTEN AND PHOTOGRAPHED

BY TERI THOMSON RANDALL

J Teri Thomson Randall is a journalist, photographer, and filmmaker residing in Seattle. Her writing experience spans the arts and sciences, including staff writing positions at the Journal of the American Medical Association and Pasatiempo, the weekly arts magazine of the Santa Fe New Mexican.

She holds graduate degrees in microbiology, science communication, and film production.

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ohn Delaney has studied oceans for a long time, and by any measure, has had a deeply rewarding career. He has lived on the Galapagos Islands and has visited the sea floor many times. He has peered inside underwater volcanoes and probed hydrothermal vents on the edges of our earth’s tectonic plates—molten crucibles that may have given birth to the first life on earth.

If images of Jacques Cousteau spring to mind, hit the fast-forward button. Over the last decade, under the leadership of Delaney and other visionaries, oceanic studies have been transformed from the ships, satellites, and moorings of yesteryear to state-of-the-art observatories on the sea floor that transmit images and data in real time over fiber optic cables to the Internet, accessible and free for everyone, everywhere.

This isn’t the germ of some science fiction writer’s imagination. After many years of planning, and massive international financial investment,

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

these underwater observatories are operating off the coasts of central Oregon and Vancouver Island, and four other sites around the globe. Delaney’s long-held dream is now a reality: A scientist in Africa can conduct experiments on the ocean floor halfway around the world, and a student in Tibet can observe a hydrothermal vent on her cellphone in real time. Soon, another series of cables along the Pacific Northwest coastline will provide early detection of earthquakes.

In light of these accomplishments, one wonders what this University of Washington professor will do next. Quite simply, he wants to change the world. “I’d like to reach the world regarding the importance of our oceans, using art and culture as integral elements of the message,” he says.

At age 75, Delaney is on fire with purpose.

He seeks nothing less than to revolutionize our perceptions, to change the awareness of all humanity regarding what he calls “this incredible planetary legacy we have inherited.” www.3rdActMag.com

“People think of the ocean as a place to surf, watch the waves, dig in the sand, fish, and as something we must fly over on our way to Hawaii,” he says. “In fact, the oceans are stunningly complicated, 4-billion-year-old ecosystems that make most of the planet habitable. As a society we are as dependent on this oceanic life support system as the lunar astronauts were on their backpacks, when they were hitting golf balls into outer space.”

The global ocean is not only complex, it is changing in unpredictable ways, Delaney says, and it is urgent that we understand entire oceanic ecosystems better. Oceans maintain the atmosphere, and control or significantly influence the climate in every part of the globe.

They modulate storms and absorb and release vast amounts of carbon dioxide, oxygen, and heat. Human activities are rapidly altering the earth’s system, increasing the ocean’s vulnerability to stresses and perturbations. Yet the money Aging with Confidence

we invest to explore and understand this “inner space” is a fraction of what we spend on exploring outer space. “The irony is that on a day-to-day basis all humans are much more dependent on the myriad processes operating in our planetary oceans than we are on much of what happens in outer space,” he says.

In his 2010 TED talk, Delaney noted that nearly one billion people on this planet were undernourished or starving. And in another 40 years, the world’s population may have increased by another 2.5 billion people, creating a delicate balance among the many bearing capacities of the planet and the lifestyles of its inhabitants.

“We can’t solve all the problems just by looking at the oceans,” he says. “But if we don’t understand the fundamental life support system of this planet much more thoroughly than we do now, we’ll have real problems coping with the runaway stresses that will ultimately arise. We need to be able to anticipate serious tipping points in the behavior of the oceans because major changes could have dramatic consequences for life on the continents.”

Delaney knows that to reach the world, he’ll need a lot more than textbooks and scientific papers. His lectures explore man’s relationship with the oceans for as long as we’ve been going to sea, in almost every possible context: warfare and defense, trade and commerce, religion and philosophy, science and education, arts and entertainment, stewardship and ethics. Exotic sea creatures? Check. Life on other planets?

Check.

A few years ago, in a large lecture hall at the University of Washington, Delaney stepped up to the podium to begin the first in a series of public lectures called Global Ocean/Human Culture. The lights dimmed, the crowd hushed. Delaney began, not with facts and data, but with a humble disclaimer.

“I’m stepping out of my comfort zone,” he said, as if to give his audience fair warning of the eclectic content to come. “My professional specialty is underwater volcanoes and I’m going in many directions that have nothing to do with volcanoes.

But it’s important that we start thinking about the ocean in fundamentally different ways than we normally do.”

From there, Delaney took his audience on a journey back 50,000 years to the beginning of human boat making. Over the course of the hour, he spoke of oceans in the context of mythology, art, poetry, and music. He told stories of Homer, Polynesians, Vikings, and an Irish monk named Brendan. He quoted Basho, Neruda, Blake, and Whitman, and played music

by Debussy and Ralph Vaughan Williams. Who could resist?

The room was captivated.

“I’m growing beyond where I have been,” Delaney says today, and that’s clear in the focus of the work he continues to carry out from his office in the UW’s Ocean Teaching Building and beyond. In essence, Delaney’s relationship to fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 13

ay, August 18, 16

OCEAN NETWORKS CANADA

Seattle GigaPop UW OMC

AXIAL

PN3B

Juan de Fuca Plate

SEAMOUNT

Mid-Plate

PN3A

Pacific City

Cabled Array

Cabled Array Primary Nodes

PN1D

Ocean Networks Canada Cabled Array Shore Station Cabled Array Moorings OOI Uncabled Coastal Moorings OOI Potential Expansion Nodes Cascadia Subduction Zone

SLOPE BASE Fra Blanc o ctu re Z one

SHR

Portland GigaPop

View John Delaney’s lecture series “The Global Ocean & Human Culture: Past, Present & Future,” at http:// uwtv.org/series/the-global-oceanhuman-culture-past-present-future.

NEWPORT

PN1A PN1B PN1C

PACIFIC PLATE

The Ocean Observatories Initiative Cabled Array: The most advanced underwater volcanic observatory in the world sits atop Axial Seamount, the most active volcano on the Juan de Fuca Ridge (having erupted in 1998, 2011, and again in 2015). Cables span more than 300 miles to provide power and bandwidth to a diverse array of sensors, an HD camera and digital still camera, and enable real time, two-way communication with a shore station in Pacific City, Oregon.

the oceans has evolved through the years from explorer to emissary and advocate. He speaks for the oceans, and urges us, as its stewards, to more fully

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Watch a live streaming video transmission of a hydrothermal vent a mile below the ocean's surface. Visit: novae.ocean.washington.edu/story/ Ashes_CAMHD_Live.

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

Watch Delaney’s TED talk here: https://www.ted.com/speakers/ john_delaney.

understand—and take responsibility for—this marvelous, planetary-scale “backpack” that sustains all life on Earth.

www.3rdActMag.com

GIVING VOICE TO VALUES

came to America on a ship full of returning soldiers.

“She described watching them disembark, with many getting down on their knees and kissing the ground.

She wept as she told the story,” Kraus says. “Now her family not only has the history, but they understand what it meant to her as they listen to the emotion in her voice.”

WE KNOW THAT LEGACY isn’t just about real estate, family heirlooms—or Barbie doll collections. Legacy is also about the intangibles: our values and stories, knowledge and memories, hopes and dreams. But how do we pass these on?

Write an ethical will The practice of creating an ethical will, with roots in Judaism, is gaining universal popularity.

Sometimes called a legacy letter, an ethical will is not a legal document that distributes material wealth, but a heartfelt expression of what truly matters most. It can be written at any time and shared while the writer is still alive.

Rebecca Crichton is executive director of Northwest Center for Creative Aging and presents programs on that topic in the Seattle area. She worked at Boeing for 21 years as a writer, curriculum designer, and leadership development coach. She has master’s degrees in child development and organizational development, and she is a certified coach.

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Record your story Another legacy practice captures our stories in our own voices. Linda Kraus of Time Binding Stories in Shoreline works with people to record their stories and create CDs for them to share.

“As a personal historian, I am more interested in someone’s personality, values, feelings, and experiences than their dates and genealogy,” she says. “‘Time Binding’ refers to the distinctive human ability to pass information and knowledge between generations. The same story—told at 40, 60, and 80—will be somewhat different. Experiencing life influences our recollections of the past and gives us continual insights into what we remember.”

Kraus believes that telling our stories has health benefits, including lower blood pressure and decreased heart rate, greater feelings of self-esteem, and satisfaction with life. Moods improve as well as cognitive functioning. Some think personal storysharing could strengthen the immune system.

One of Kraus’ first clients was in her 80s, lived in Paris during the city’s liberation in 1944, and

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

Archive your history Beyond personal memories, many people have material posessions that may actually be of interest to historians. Nicolette Bromberg is the curator of visual materials for the archives at the University of Washington Special Collections. “People throw things out because they can’t deal with them, but you never know what will be useful to researchers,” she says, noting how filmmaker Ken Burns used some footage by a man who’d been to Alaska and filmed people drinking.

Among Bromberg’s recent finds is a photograph of three soldiers wearing masks with the caption “Flu Dodgers,” a rare piece of documentation from the flu pandemic of 1918. Another search revealed pictures

of a Sikh worker and inventor in the logging industry.

“We knew there were Sikhs here from those early years, but didn’t have much documentation to show it.”

So if you are ready to let go of some of your old photo albums, home movies, and other personal memorabilia, you can ask the archivists at UW to come and assess the material. Says Bromberg, “I save lives. I save them for history, for our region.”

For more information: Timebindingstories.com and lib.washington.edu/specialcollections. www.3rdActMag.com

PHOTO FROM UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON LIBRARIES, SPECIAL COLLECTIONS

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WE’RE COMING UPON o ur annual time of giving—giving thanks for the harvest, giving gifts to our loved ones, and end-of-year giving to people and groups we care about.

Before any of that, we’ll give our vote to have our small voice in our country’s future.

Lynnaea Lumbard is copresident of NewStories, a Washington-based nonprofit dedicated to illuminating and nurturing pathways toward a life-affirming future.

A transformational psychologist, interfaith minister, community weaver, and social change philanthropist, she lives on Whidbey and Cortes islands with her husband, Rick Paine.

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But beyond what we have received in the past, beyond our circle of family and friends, beyond our country, beyond the next four years, what of our time, talent, and treasure are we giving to the future?

I’ve asked this question for years, ever since I began to be aware of the overwhelming issues that we need to face to create a future we want to live in. How do we, or I, or any individual deal with the tidal wave of hatred, violence, and destruction that seems to be upon us?

What can I do? What makes a difference?

Where to start?

I have found that the place to start is where, as theologian Frederick Buechner suggests, your greatest joy and passion meet the world’s greatest need.

Some of us find our place through giving to our children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. A ballet camp here, a scholarship there, a ticket to a Shakespeare play, or travel to another country—all are ways we give to the future through our descendants.

Others of us are called to expand beyond our personal circles to address the larger issues of our time. My greatest passion has been to change our collective stories of fear, greed, and destruction into something creative, beautiful, and life-affirming. It’s only a short time ago that we became consumers rather than

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

citizens, shareholders rather than multiple stakeholders.

We can change our story of how we live together. Life is not so much furthered by the survival of the fittest but by the adaptability of humanity collaborating together.

Life thrives on diversity, not on monoculture.

So my time, treasure, and talent have been poured into this passion. I volunteer my time to run a non-profit called NewStories, which calls upon all of my accumulated talent and experience as a depth psychologist, entrepreneur, group facilitator, and host for conversations that matter. I love convening and catalyzing, making things happen by bringing my resources to people and programs that serve change.

Having inherited some money when my mother died 25 years ago, I have learned over time how to put my treasure toward what I really care about. I believe that the stories we tell ourselves matter and that changing the story changes the future. I celebrate people making a difference. I love nurturing what is already working in thriving communities. I find great joy in offering young people the kinds of experiences that have most healed and awakened me.

My talent doesn’t extend to putting my time into all of these things, but I can put my treasure into the hands of people and groups who are much more articulate, skilled, and energetic than I am. Everything I fund has to do with creating a new story of humanity in right relationship with each other and Earth. Sometimes it’s institutions like Hollyhock and the Whidbey Institute that gather and train tomorrow’s leaders. Sometimes it’s people who are on the forefront of articulating a new story, like Bob Stilger or Duane Elgin. Sometimes www.3rdActMag.com

Aging with Confidence

LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS MAKING A DIFFERENCE NewStories is a collaboratory of people and a constellation of projects dedicated to gathering, co-evolving, and disseminating new narratives and practices that inspire, encourage, and guide creative responses to the unprecedented cultural transformation of our times. newstories.org Young Women Empowered (Y-WE) helps young women ages 13-18 from diverse backgrounds step up as leaders in their schools, communities, and the world through inter-generational mentorship, intercultural collaboration, and creative programs. youngwomenempowered.org Partnerships for Youth Empowerment unleashes the power, purpose, and potential of young people worldwide by empowering teachers, youth workers, and other leaders to build supportive Creative Communities that change lives. pyeglobal.org Whidbey Island Nourishes (W.I.N.) is a volunteer-powered organization dedicated to preparing and delivering meals for those in need on South Whidbey, focusing on nutrition and education for our young people. whidbeyislandnourishes.org Hearts and Hammers brings together hundreds of volunteers to help repair and rehabilitate dozens of homes in an annual one-day event. heartsandhammers.com

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 19

Y-WE PHOTOS BY MICHAEL B. MAINE

it’s supporting and empowering the next generation of trailblazers through scholarships to youth programs like Young Women Empowered (Y-WE) in Seattle or Partnerships for Youth Empowerment (PYE Global), an international organization based in Langley, Washington.

These are some of my choices. What are yours? What is your passion?

Your joy? What value, what skill, what beauty do you want to see thrive into the future? Where do you see the world’s greatest need? Is it for love, for vision, for inspiration, for skillful means? And what gifts of your time, talent, and treasure could manifest your vision?

Giving doesn’t have to be about money. Three women in my community saw that too many children were not getting enough food and started making sandwiches for school lunches. Now a successful organization, Whidbey Island Nourishes makes 2000 meals a month with fully engaged community support. Another saw that some elders need help with repairing or rehabilitating their homes. The result, Washington State Senator, Pramila Jayapal, inspires started on a shoestring: young women with what’s possible for them at the 2016 Hearts and Hammers, an Career Day at Y-WE. annual event that serves 30 to 40 homes in a one-day work party of several hundred volunteers.

There are so many options. But first, find your passion­—then start giving your time, talent and treasure to it. Perhaps you’ll finally commit the time, and perhaps treasure, to learn how to paint, sculpt, garden, or play a musical instrument as your contribution to beauty in the world. Maybe you’ll find a need in your community and gather people to address it. It can be as simple as hosting a block party for your neighbors.

This season of giving, try something out of the box. Your box. When you put your time, talent, and treasure to manifest what you truly care about, you create the legacy of your heart.

How We Gather

BY JENNIFER JAMES

Jennifer James has a doctorate in cultural anthropology and a master’s in history and psychology. She was a professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Washington Medical School. Jennifer is the founding mother of the Committee for Children, an international organization devoted to the prevention of child abuse worldwide.

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A FEW DECADES AGO, after another disappointing holiday, I decided my beliefs about celebrations might be the problem. As I studied holiday gatherings, I discovered that everyone, with or without a functional family, gets a blah holiday a third of the time, a miserable holiday another third of the time, and a happy holiday a third of the time.

My worst holiday was the one after my husband died on Dec. 21, 2001. On Christmas Day I was alone without plans. I eventually wandered next door to my neighbors. Bruce was in bed recovering from a hip replacement and Sue had crashed her car Christmas Eve, immobilizing her shoulder. We were all on pain meds. I went home.

The next Christmas was one of my best. I wanted to avoid the memories of 2001, so I went to London to be with my beloved paternal cousins. They live in a country cottage outside of London. We had a wonderful family-and-friends gathering with all the festive charm and grace that can be a Welsh/English Christmas. I felt welcomed and loved.

I remember my 30th birthday turned out well.

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

I flew to San Francisco, had an espresso in North Beach, and walked the streets. Everything seemed possible that day. I was exhilarated at being alone, independent, free. I bought a secondhand patchwork velvet skirt because it was soft and vibrant.

Then there was the Thanksgiving in my 40s when my sister-in-law decided, at the last minute, that she preferred to invite her friends to celebrate and not our family. Until then we had always celebrated that holiday together. Her new tradition was okay with us, we respected her right to other holiday options, but we were left with no plans.

The next year, after the friends divorced, we were invited again. Letting hurt feelings pass is both hard and at the heart of most holiday gatherings.

It took a long time, but these ideas helped me improve my holiday average: • Let go of the media versions of holidays. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and think about what pleasures you the most: music, special decorations, scents, pie, a furry animal, a hand to hold. It is good to share all of this, but not essential.

• Each one of us deserves the good sounds, sights, www.3rdActMag.com

INFORM INSPIRE ENGAGE Our presentations, events and conversations explore and enrich the aging process.

Expert teachers and facilitators bring their depth of knowledge and experience to our programs at retirement communities, senior centers and other venues. smells, and tastes we can create, purchase, or imagine. We do not need a witness to our lives. If you want company, ask yourself who do you like to be with? Who is available?

How can you avoid cold relationships, snipers, and grumps?

• You can go for a walk, volunteer to help others, or sit at your neighborhood bar. One holiday I was walking along Lake Washington when a tour bus approached. I had been a bit blue but I waved at the tourists. They became animated, excited, and waved back. It felt so good I went home happy.

• If you have a functional family, one that can gather sober, you get the traditional gold ring. If the next generation is putting on the dinner, let go of control. You have been retired.

Soak up the pleasures instead of managing. Play, talk, listen, watch, and eat everything. If there are some tricky parts, put on your flak jacket, tip toe around any eggshells, and respond to every word with genuine kindness.

• If you don’t have a viable family, put together your own group, however temporary. It is easier than you may think. Just look around. Keep it small Aging with Confidence

so you can talk, and make it a potluck so your guests can contribute. Put a vase on the table for everyone to bring a flower to represent who is away or gone.

One year we ended up with a beautiful bouquet and two dog biscuits.

• Save a seat for the stranger, and tell the story of “The Other Wise Man.” The seat may remain empty; the spirits will be full. While you eat, share stories of your best and worst holidays.

Biologists report that telling personal stories makes our neurons fire rapidly and release oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. The mind lights up with fireworks when we tell our stories.

• My last option is the “blob” celebration.

If you are consumed by fatigue or pain, or you are alone, start with a bowl of buttered popcorn or ice cream, (make your own substitutions here), get in bed, use a towel as a napkin, and watch upbeat movies until you fall asleep. The holiday will be over.

With every year my ratio of good over bad holidays has improved. The next ones will be my best unless I lose, again, someone I love. But I now know I will be OK. I’ve shared some of my stories. Now it’s your turn.

ALL AGES STAGES ARE

WELCOME

Northwest Center for

Creative Aging www.nwcreativeaging.org 206-930-0809

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 21

Reimagining Home for the Holidays

BY TERI THOMSON RANDALL

THIS IS A STORY a bout holiday traditions, specifically the one about being “home,” which is not as simple as it sounds. As long as we draw breath, and grow, and allow ourselves to be touched by others, our experience of “home” will change. Guaranteed.

J

ust 21 days after childhood sweethearts Bob and Shirley King married, Bob left for a twoyear tour on Okinawa, Japan, with the U.S. Air Force. It might as well have been the moon.

Coming home for Christmas was impossible, and telephone calls from the island to the U.S. were too expensive.

“It was not an auspicious way to start a marriage,” King says today. “But I made a choice, and my wife agreed, that I would make my life in the service and we would accept the circumstances.” For the next 25 years, the couple were apart during the holidays more often than not. In the Bing Crosby hit I’ll Be Home for Christmas, a homesick soldier says he’ll be there “if only in my dreams.” The Kings could relate to that.

By 1956, King was serving as a navigator bombardier on the Boeing B-47s. Trans-Atlantic training flights were almost 12 hours long, and it wasn’t unusual to fly on holidays. The crew would bring along their holiday meals prepared on the base, with each dish wrapped individually in aluminum foil. King recalls stashing the hot dishes inside the boxes holding the plane’s electronic equipment. That way, the food would stay warm until he finally had a moment to eat in flight.

When King retired, he and Shirley took to the road in an RV for 16 years. Their holiday meals consisted of potluck dinners with fellow RV travelers, which King describes as “the most

Early in their marriage, Bob and Shirley King spent many holidays apart while he was in the armed services. Later, as they travelled in their RV, they shared potluck Christmas dinners with whomever they might be camping next to.

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friendly, congenial group of people you could ever hope to meet,” and home was wherever they’d feast together.

For the past eight years, the couple has lived at Garden Court, a retirement community in Everett. They enjoy being close to their children and grandchildren, and Bob is working on his memoirs, which he hopes to publish. The family rotates holiday celebrations between the homes of Bob and Shirley’s two daughters, who live close by, and Garden Court, where they eat and exchange gifts in either a private dining room or in the community dining room.

For the King family, “home” is an experience, not a place. “The important thing is just being together,” Bob King says.

For many of us, the “home” Crosby sings about is really just one ideal, and one that’s sometimes impossible to experience in real life. What if we reinterpret the last line, if only in my dreams, as simply an acknowledgement of that ideal, rather than as a sad and lonely ending? After all, as the Kings have demonstrated, home can change as we move through life, and holiday traditions evolve with time. Ultimately, it is the home within us that brings about the most joy and meaning.

When she was a young mother, Toni Davis of Ashland, Oregon, worked to the point of exhaustion to create the picture-perfect Christmas. Looking back, she realizes she was so busy preparing that she missed some precious moments: simply sitting to look at the lights on the tree, or reading a Christmas story to her children.

Now that her children are grown and taking responsibility for the celebration, she says, “The focus of the holiday has changed.

There is a deeper appreciation for the moments we have together,

Many retirement communities provide intimate, elegant settings for family holiday celebrations in their private dining rooms. Above, a family gathers for Christmas at Garden Court.

Aging with Confidence

without the frills and distractions. I appreciate the simplicity now. I wouldn’t go back to the hustle and bustle.”

Char Horning of Mariposa, California, describes her younger self as “caught up in the external culture.” It wasn’t until her 50s that she became more aware of her inner, spiritual life. Now, before family gatherings, she spends time in quiet meditation, reflecting upon the needs of each person, including herself, and considering what she wants to communicate.

At the table, before the traditional grace is Char Horning spends a quiet moment before a family gathering, silently recited, she asks for a appreciating each guest and thinking few minutes of silence about how each of them can best be to allow each person to served by their time together. “open up to the divine presence” in their own way. She is mindful that she is her grandchildren’s only living grandparent, and she wants to model, but not dictate, a spiritual practice.

Over the years, Horning’s family has purposefully scaled back on gift giving, mostly out of environmental concerns. Last year, she decided not to buy any gifts at all.

“At 84, I’m thinking about giving things away,” she says.

“I looked around in my collection of things—books, art, poetry, dishes from my grandparents—and I gave an item to every person at our Christmas dinner and explained why I chose it for them.”

For Horning, the winter holidays are a time of transition and new beginnings. The snow, the quiet, the long nights, and the sunrises all create a context for contemplation, she says. It’s a time to consider, “What am I being asked to do next year?” and “What new adventure is in store?”

“The answers are there,” Horning adds, “but we must be quiet to hear them.”

As King, Davis, and Horning attest, we are never truly “home” until we experience peace within ourselves, and authentic connections with others. Over the holidays, most of us try harder—and hopefully edge a little closer— to this ideal. Older people are better at this, it seems. But then again, we’ve had more years to practice. fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 23

n

CAREGIVER’S CORNER

Circling in Care

BY ALLAN AMENT

A CANDLE IS LIT. A chime sounds. conversations cease as we sit in silence for a few minutes. The Circle of Caring has begun.

Allan Ament is the author of Learning to Float: Memoir of a Caregiver-Husband, as well as other articles published in literary and academic journals and trade magazines. He is vice chair of the South Whidbey at Home board of directors and the past CEO and board chair of the Northwest Institute of Literary Arts. Allan lives on Whidbey Island with his wife, who is an awardwinning writer, and their semi-neurotic cat.

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For the past 15 years, a group on South Whidbey Island has gathered in homes twice a month. Over cups of tea and snacks, we explore how we can support each other as we age.

We are all separated from family; some of us are married, others live alone. The group’s makeup has changed over the years as members have moved away, become involved in other endeavors, or died. New people have been invited into the Circle. Our commitment to each other remains the same: to better understand the process of aging and dying, and to care for each other—in whatever way we are comfortable doing—as we journey through that process.

The guidelines for our practice, based on the principles offered in The Circle Way for Proactive Aging: A Harvest of Years by Cynthia Trenshaw, are simple. We listen with respect and for understanding; crosstalk and interrupting the speaker are discouraged; confidentiality governs; leadership is shared; and we begin and end with ritual to mark this as a special space and time, separate from our daily routines.

The first Monday of the month is a time for members to check in, to share whatever what is happening in their outer and inner lives. We listen to understand; we don’t problem-solve, unless that’s the speaker’s desire. The third Monday of the month is devoted to exploration of a topic. These have included: • How shall we live well, so we can support each other and ourselves as we get older?

• Writing our obituaries, values statements, and final wishes letters.

• What does caregiving mean? What do we

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

have to offer someone in need of care?

• What makes us happy?

• What is grace? When do we feel it?

• For what do we feel gratitude?

Since the beginning of the Circle, we have had ample opportunity to practice these lessons. Members have suffered broken bones, stroke, cancer, Parkinson’s, congestive heart failure, and other ailments. We have held in love—and learned from—our members who have died, each in control of their final days.

Through our sharing of our lives, laughter, song, learning, and food, we bonded into a strong supportive community. We know we can turn to each other when we need help. And we have given each other permission to say “no, I can’t do that now.”

At the end of each gathering, we stand in an actual circle, hold hands, and remember those members not physically present. We have become like family for each other whose real families are geographically distant or otherwise non-existent. Perhaps even more important, we have become friends who, male or female, are willing to share our most intimate selves with each other.

Our practice is simple. It is powerful. And with intention, attention, and commitment, any group can become its own circle of caring. For resources to get started, see PeerSpirit.com.

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| 3rd Act magazine 25

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

MANY TRADITIONAL CULTURES celebrate holidays with daylong feasts of lovingly prepared foods, and my Italian family is no exception.

Through it all, from antipasti through the main courses (plus sinful slices of alluring desserts), the conversation is loud and lively, the food is fabulous, and the wine flows freely.

Of course, these mouth-watering banquets didn’t just happen. Mamma would start preparations days ahead on her brawny 1954 O’Keefe & Merritt Country Estate range. At 6 feet wide and weighing over 800 pounds, its six burners, two ovens, warming oven, broiler, and “grillevator” held prominent sway in her kitchen, keeping things toasty-warm in winter and sweaty-hot in summer. All shiny white enamel and gleaming polished chrome, the range was like a showroom Cadillac beckoning you to take a drive.

In fact, it was the vehicle for Mamma’s expression of love and nourishment with the simple daily meals she prepared for her family as well as the big holiday banquets.

Most mornings she made fugassa, a rectangular shaped, honey-golden flatbread glistening with fragrant olive oil and salt. Different from the common “focaccia,” I’m told in true Genovese dialect it’s pronounced Fûgazza.

Though the word got Americanized in my family, the preparation did not. Once you picked up a piece of fugassa, felt the oil slither on your fingers, breathed in its heady aroma … once your teeth crackled through the crusty bottom into the dense interior, once your tongue soaked up the full-bodied flavor, there was no turning back. You were hooked—never again to settle for focaccia!

This is the bread of my heritage, passed down through Aging with Confidence

fall 2016

Stephanie Prima teaches people ways to enjoy a healthy, happy lifestyle, and is the owner of Move Into Mindfulness in Friday Harbor. Contact her at 360-317-1448 or Stephanie@ MoveIntoMindfulness.com.

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matrilineal generations from the tiny village of Carsassina in the hills above Genoa. As if through instinct, Mamma would mix the few humble ingredients together, drape the bowl with a flour-sack towel, and allow the dough to come to life in the warming oven.

The pillowy white dough would expand, pushing at the towel as if reaching for light. When it became level with the top of the bowl, she would scoop out the dough and punch it down, then stretch it to fit her well-seasoned sheet pan. Under towel again, the irrepressible dough

Note: Stephanie is happy to share her Mamma’s special fugassa with 3rd Act readers. You’ll find the recipe on our blog at 3rdActMagazine.com.

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would inflate a second time, sending aromatic, yeasty spores into the atmosphere.

Before baking the fugassa, Mamma’s knuckle came in handy to poke dimples into the dough. Then she liberally splashed greenishcolored olive oil from the big tin she kept near the range, the oil pooling in the fresh dimples. A generous sprinkling of salt was the final dressing before the O’Keefe & Merritt delivered its crowning glory of deep, rich color. This time-honored process of mixing, rising, and baking brought us kids heavenly aromas that set our taste buds salivating. We would hang around the range, waiting for Mamma to give the go-ahead to tear into the warm fugassa, eager to nab a crunchy corner piece.

Mamma taught anyone who was interested to make fugassa.

From my own lesson many decades ago I can still hear her crackly voice instructing me to “knead it until it’s sticky but not sticky”—a lesson that can only be garnered through experience, and one you’ll never see in a modern recipe. She even shared her tips in a video that one of my nephews recorded and played at a recent family holiday banquet. There she was, “in living color.” Seeing her in the video, hearing her voice again, brought tears to my eyes and made me realize how much I miss her. Though the venerable O’Keefe & Merritt now occupies a place of honor in my kitchen, I miss being able to ask Mamma questions and hear her stories.

Thus this simple bread preparation became Mamma’s enduring legacy. Her grandchildren have now become masters at fugassamaking and teach others, too. Each time any of us makes a batch of fugassa, we think of Mamma with gratitude, and treasure her gift.

We know without doubt that her love and spirit are still with us.

Stories, teaching, sharing our passions and our pleasures—the simple, human side of “who we are” is the most touching gift we can give. Think about your own “immortality” being passed down for generations to come.

How would you like your descendants to remember you? What nourishing wisdom can you leave for those who may never have the chance to know you?

From your decades of experience, what knowledge can you give that will enrich their lives? What would you like to fully express? I hope Mamma’s simple story inspires you to create an enduring legacy Stephanie's Mamma baking fugassa on the stove that is now the showpiece of Stephanie's kitchen. that is uniquely you. www.3rdActMag.com

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Our view of independence

W

EVOLVES

hen we learn life lessons, it is a typical desire to pass that valuable knowledge on to future generations. And when that knowledge helps improve the quality of life for other people, sharing that information with others becomes of even greater importance.

Naomi joined CHOICE Advisory as a full-time employee in 2009. Over the past seven years she has developed her skills of listening to the needs of people and helping them find the resources they need in the community. She is a Certified Senior Advisor working in CHOICE’s Portland, Oregon office.

In 1993 Les Ostermeier and Clint Slater started a senior housing & care referral agency called CHOICE Advisory. The business helps older adults and their families know what options exist for retirement and assisted living as well as memory care and in-home care services. When raising their two children, they included them in conversations around the household about what it is like to grow older and the challenges that elders face with health issues, family dynamics, finances and emotions.

Here is a sampling of what Naomi has learned from her parents and from working with hundreds of older adults and their families:

In her teenage years, their daughter Naomi volunteered to assist the activity director of an Alzheimer’s & Dementia care community in Lynnwood, Washington. “My dads instilled in me the importance of bringing joy to others, so it was a deeply felt pleasure for me to help brighten the days of people living with memory loss.”

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We procrastinate, sometimes to our own detriment and sometimes to the detriment of others.

We are blessed here in the Northwest to have thousands of senior housing and care providers to support people, especially those who wait until they are forced to move. There is an entire portion of senior living that is frequently overlooked by active older adults. For some reason, people believe they have to wait until they are infirm before they think to make a move to a senior living community. The best time to make a move to a community is when you are in excellent shape and you are able to make all

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the necessary decisions on your own about downsizing and the decisions about how you wish to grow older. We should take responsibility and take action to make our own decisions much earlier in our adult lives rather than waiting for a crisis to arise. If older adults don’t take action, they can lose complete control and family members or healthcare professionals have to make decisions on their behalf.

A basic human need is to have human interaction Americans pride themselves on living alone in their own, private home. This works great as long as we’re able to get out to run errands and as long as we have the energy to maintain a home, yard and take care of the general upkeep of a home. If a person becomes less mobile, or if driving becomes dangerous, then isolation can occur. Even people who aren’t wired to be social and outgoing benefit from seeing other people and being acknowledged with a friendly “Hello!” Our society incorrectly equates living alone as being “independent,” when in fact, it is more correct to state that living alone is living a life of “selective isolation.”

Making a move to senior living is maintaining independence, not giving it up.

We commonly hear people say that they don’t want to move to senior living because they feel they will be giving up their independence. This belief stems from a fear of growing older, and from an unwillingness to admit that we are all frail beings who have lives that will come to an end.

Making a move to senior living is a means of creating safety nets and built-in support systems for our futures. After people make a move to senior living, invariably they come to the realization that they have not given up independence, but rather they have reached a new level in their lives where they have positioned themselves to be in control and to have a plan in place should they need support or help.

In our work, we see people become so attached to physical possessions that it can cause a person to be more focused on their “stuff” than on their own need for having a purpose in life.

People derive joy and satisfaction from being of support to other people. Material items do hold or bring back memories, but interactions with other people is what creates new memories and gives purpose and value to our lives.

CHOICE Advisory is a FREE service and provides guidance on senior housing and care options in: Whatcom, Island, Skagit Counties King & Snohomish Counties Pierce, Thurston, Mason & Kitsap Counties Spokane, WA and Coeur d’Alene, ID Clark County (Vancouver, WA) Greater Portland Metro, tri-county area.

Stuff is stuff.

If we get attached to material things, it is difficult for us to age with grace. If we no longer have the energy to entertain, do we really need a large dining room table?

If we rarely have house guests, isn’t it just as effective to arrange for friends or family to stay overnight in a nearby hotel or bed and breakfast?

Aging with Confidence

Call us for free assistance and support

800-361-0138 Available 7 days a week, 8:30am-8:30pm

choiceadvisory.com fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 31

PHOTO BY TERI THOMSON RANDALL

Julie Fanselow is the author of many travel guidebooks and hundreds of magazine articles, and she served as her father’s primary care advocate during his final years of life. She lives in Seattle and is writing a book on the arts and memory loss.

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WANT AN EXERCISE ROUTINE you’ll stick with? Try laughing for a change. We’re serious: You can actually giggle, chortle, and guffaw your way through a fun, free, low-impact aerobic workout that boosts energy, lowers stress, relieves pain, promotes good sleep, increases oxygen to the brain, and much more.

A guided laughter session usually lasts 20 to 45 minutes, with exercises that combine natural laughter and breathing.

(There’s no joke-telling.) Some people call the activity “laughter yoga”—especially since the laughing-for-health movement began in India—but it’s less about complicated poses and more about pure, simple play. And while it may seem a bit absurd to schedule time to do something we’ve done since babyhood, well, when’s the last time you really laughed out loud when you weren’t watching a funny movie, TV show, or cat video?

For my first official organized laughter experience, I took a workshop with my friend Caroline Haessly, a certified

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

laughter leader from Issaquah. Caroline guided us through the clam-shell laugh, the lost-in-a-strange-airport laugh, the starting-a-lawnmower laugh, and the laugh you do when you gleefully tear off those annoying mattress and pillow labels that say “DO NOT REMOVE THIS LABEL.” In between, we clapped and shouted choruses of “ho-ho-haha-ha, ho-ho-ha-ha-ha” and took big stretches and deep, cleansing breaths.

Next, I caught up with the Tee Hee Hee Laughter Group at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle. On the Friday I stopped by, the group included a mix of Harborview employees, patients, and folks like me who just dropped in for a play break. After about a half-hour of www.3rdActMag.com

gleeful romping, everyone was ready for whatever else the rest of the day held in store.

One of the Harborview coaches, Tita Begashaw, recently auditioned for America’s Got Talent in a bid to bring the power of full-body laughing to prime time. While the audience loved her, grumpy host Simon Cowell didn’t get the joke. But that didn’t bother Begashaw, who works as a receptionist at Harborview and who also has led laughter groups everywhere from low-income housing communities to high-flying corporations including Boeing.

In fact, not much bothers Begashaw—ever. She has personally seen the power of laughter overcome depression after a family tragedy, and she uses laughter to promote joy among everyone she meets, from her fellow employees to a 90-year-old aunt in Ethiopia. “Joy is our nature,” she says. “My own practice is to have joy, moment by moment.” Laughter is our universal language, she adds, with no special skills required and no age limit. After all, if children can laugh and smile hundreds of times every day, so can adults.

Teresa Verde has offered laughter workshops at Pacific Northwest retirement communities since 2001. “Laughter

instantly connects you to whomever it is you’re laughing with,” she says, so it’s a great activity to beat feelings of isolation.

Another benefit: “Laughter helps you get along with others, because you don't ‘sweat the small stuff,’” she notes. When you can literally “laugh off” petty things, you can deal with big issues much better, too.

Everyone is welcome at Harborview’s Tee Hee Hee Laughter Group, which meets each Friday at noon in Room 1-MB-118 of the Norm Maleng Building at 410 Ninth Ave. in Seattle (or outdoors in View Park just west of the Harborview campus, if it is sunny). Other laughter clubs meet regularly at Green Lake in Seattle, as well as in Bellevue, Kirkland, Olympia, and Redmond. Find them by searching for “laughter yoga” at meetup.com.

It’s more fun to laugh with other people, in person. But you can get the benefits on your own at home via Skype, with sessions scheduled several times a day. See skype.laughteryoga. org for more information. Or search for laughter yoga videos on You Tube. The ones posted by Dr. Madan Kataria, founder of Laughter Yoga University, are a good place to start. Have fun and remember: Laughter is contagious!

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FITNESS

BALANCE IS AN OFTEN OVERLOOKED aspect of health—and as we age, it’s an especially important one. Maintaining good balance can become more difficult if our day-to-day activities become more limited.

Many people notice a loss of balance after they develop the habit of looking down while they walk.

In taking care to not trip, they lose the natural ability to traverse uneven ground. It may sound strange, but by being overprotective of your walking, you may hurt your balance for the long term. These simple exercises can help you regain balance and confidence.

Kyle Ciminski is a personal trainer at the Fidalgo Pool & Fitness Center in Anacortes. He holds over 30 professional certifications, and you can reach him at kyleciminskitraining@ gmail.com or at 360-969-1386. Learn more at trainwithkyle.com.

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Posture check This exercise will force your body to stand erect, especially if you have fallen into the habit of watching the ground as you walk. To perform a posture check, find a flat wall. Face away from the wall with the back of your head, shoulders, and heels touching the wall. Take a moment to position yourself in an upright and comfortable position. Take a step out from the wall maintaining that posture. Walk around the room while keeping the form. Perform this exercise several times a day to help develop healthy habits.

Walking the line This exercise, a good follow-up to the posture check, will focus on your balance as you walk while developing proper posture. There are several variations of this exercise that make it easy to perform just about anywhere. You need a straight line to walk along. If you’re inside, you can lay down painter’s tape or string. Outside, feel free

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

to use painted lines, sidewalk cracks, or chalk.

(Having a visual line is important to track your progress.) Stand at the end of your line, keeping your head tall with your shoulders rolled back.

Imagine balancing a book on your head or walking on a train track without looking down. Raise your arms out to help balance yourself, and begin walking by placing your heel to your toe, continuing this movement down the line.

Resetting otoconia crystals The final exercise I recommend performing is to help align the crystals in your inner ear called “otoconia.” These crystals are responsible for your general sense of balance and can be displaced by head injury or even minor jarring when you walk with your head facing down, such as when you watch the ground. The crystals can settle forward in the inner ear offsetting your balance. To reset their position, lay down on your bed, on your back with your head slightly over the edge. From this position, slowly turn the head left to right then nod your head up and down.

Repeat this exercise several times. I recommend performing the exercise first thing after waking up to enjoy the benefits of realigned crystals for the rest of the day.

These exercises will gradually develop proper balance over time. They are not instantaneous— remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day—but with regular and consistent practice, your health and balance will improve. www.3rdActMag.com

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MY THIRD ACT

I RETIRED AT THE END OF 2003, eager to enter Act III…except for the annoying, painfully persistent tremor in my right arm. When a movement disorder specialist diagnosed Parkinson’s disease (PD) in 2008, my life changed and my health took center stage. My new neurodegenerative disease script did not include the words “cure” or “happy ending.”

Although most people associate Parkinson’s with physical tremors and jerky movements, it has many nonmotor symptoms that affect cognition and emotion as well. By the time movement symptoms show up, 50 to 80 percent of the substantia nigra (the part of the brain that produces dopamine) is dead. The disease affects other parts of the brain and the body, causing unpredictable emotions and scrambling executive functions. In some cases, dementia will surface. Day by day, hour by hour, we truly don’t know what will happen next. Linda Ronstadt, who was diagnosed in 2012, aptly referred to each day as “Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride.”

Nan Little is a cyclist, author, speaker, mountain climber, anthropologist, teacher, volunteer, flyfisherwoman, wife, mom, grandma, and friend.

Since being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in 2008 at age 62, Nan has cycled across Iowa six times, climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro, trekked to Annapurna Base Camp, and hiked the Inca Trail in Peru.

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Enter Hope Serendipitously, I learned that fast-paced cycling could possibly slow PD’s progression. In 2009, my husband and I were invited by neuroscientist Dr. Jay Alberts from the Cleveland Clinic to join the Pedaling For Parkinson’s team in the Des Moines Register’s Annual Great Bike Ride Across Iowa (RAGBRAI). Without thinking, I lept at the opportunity. I could turn my neck no more than 90 degrees.

My right arm hung stiffly at my side. My hand clenched.

I shuffled, hunched over, staring expressionlessly at the sidewalk. How could I ever ride 450 miles across Iowa?

But Dr. Alberts’ research showed that if people with Parkinson’s rode three hours each week at 80 to 90 revolutions per minute, keeping their heart rate at 60 to 85 percent of their maximum, their symptoms improved an average of 35 percent over just eight weeks. Worried about failing in Iowa, I committed to fast-paced cycling several hours nearly every day, far beyond what Alberts prescribed. Exactly a month later, while walking my

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

dogs, I noticed both arms swinging freely.

I extended both hands with no cramps; I turned my head more than 180 degrees with no pain. I walked gracefully, heel to toe. I smiled and cried. The dogs wagged their tails. That July, I crossed all of Iowa on my bike. I did it again the next year.

Not only did my physical symptoms improve dramatically, cognition and emotions improved as well. I felt in charge of myself.

Action Beats Apathy One of the most difficult barriers to overcome with Parkinson’s is apathy. With

Nan dips her rear wheel in the Missouri before cycling 450 miles (including many hills) to dip her front wheel in the Mississippi seven days later.

www.3rdActMag.com

Top left: Exploring ancient Burgess Shale fossils in Yoho National Park, British Columbia.

Bottom left: Cycling nearly every day matters.

Cycling while spotting rising trout can’t be beat, even if you’re not actually going anywhere.

Right: Nan created this banner as a tribute to those challenged with Parkinson's. The banner traveled with her to Annapurna Base Camp in the Himalaya in Nepal before she donated it to a Parkinson’s auction.

diagnosis we are given a script and are told we have no ability to change our lines. So why try? Pedaling For Parkinson’s, a program based in YMCAs and athletic facilities, provides an editing pen. By joining people who face similar challenges, we become part of a community based on actions that have proven results. Through sharing stories and strategies, we recognize that our symptoms are not unique and there are ways to cope. Contributions to the class and to each other are appreciated and celebrated. Each time a person reaches out and gives to another, their body responds by increasing production of dopamine, that joy juice of our brains.

No one ever looked at me and said “athlete,” and I had never climbed a mountain. But when I was asked if I would try to climb 19,340-foot Mt.

Kilimanjaro with people who have multiple sclerosis or Parkinson’s disease, I quickly agreed—even though I was 65 and the only woman in the group with PD. On July 18, 2011, standing on the roof of Africa, cold and weary beyond belief, I cried again. It was more than a walk in a park at high elevation—physically, emotionally and intellectually—but since then I have climbed to Annapurna Base Camp in Nepal, and I’ve ascended the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.

I still cycle most days, too. Cycling feels like plugging my brain into a wall socket. Can fast-paced cycling cure Parkinson’s disease? No. Will it help you like it helped me? Very likely. But because ours is a designer disease, every person’s version is different. Living with PD involves much more than mind over

Aging with Confidence

matter, and self-awareness. Self-efficacy means everything to people who have been sentenced to this slow, painful neurologic disintegration. Despite wishful thinking and serious intent, we must recognize our limitations and define our own mountains, even if our challenge is walking around the block.

However, consider if 10 percent of the estimated 1.5 million people with PD in the U.S. benefitted from the cycling regimen. (Another 50,000 to 60,000 people are diagnosed annually as the population ages.) The changes in lives and health care costs would be huge.

In July 2016, five years after Kilimanjaro, I rode my sixth RAGBRAI at age 70. Although I may not be aging with the confidence I had anticipated years ago, I am writing a positive script that is based on reality.

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HAVE YOU EVER STOOD on a sideline loving the way your granddaughter hustles, pivots, and bicycle-kicks a soccer ball? Do you also feel a little touch of envy? After all, just a few decades ago, women had little opportunity to play hard together.

Lisa Stuebing is a recognized leader in older adult fitness. As a medical exercise specialist, her emphasis is in brain health, chronic pain management, and movement disorders.

In addition to seeing private clients in their homes, she teaches for the Brain Injury Alliance of Washington and gives talks on behalf of both the Arthritis Foundation and the American Heart Association | American Stroke Association.

Contact her at CoachLisa@ MudPuddleFitness.com.

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That all changed with Title IX, which made sports more available to women and girls. Women are discovering skills they never knew they had while boosting their brain power, strengthening their hearts, and hardening their bones.

Although Title IX is most often associated with women’s athletics, the 1972 legislation didn’t mention sports. The legislation simply states that if your federal tax dollars are paying for something, the money must be spent on both boys and on girls. Despite the specific omission, the immediate and visible impact on sports participation has been tremendous. In 1972, there were only 700 high school girls playing soccer. By the 1975-76 school year, the number of girls playing soccer leapt to 11,534. Forty years later 371,532 high school girls were playing soccer. And that’s just soccer. Add in everything else, and well over 3 million girls will turn out for a team this school year.

If you’re a fan of women’s soccer, you may have found it easy to daydream about your granddaughter becoming the next Mia Hamm

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

or Abby Wambach, Hope Solo or Carli Lloyd.

But what you really want for your granddaughter is good health—and letting girls play sports nets lifelong improvements in brain, bone, and heart health.

Take a quick glance back through the family photos. Do you see your daughter in impossibly tall tube socks and skimpy running shorts?

Perhaps there is an embarrassing photo of her (or you!) in a Jane Fonda-esque aerobics outfit. While girls have been signing up for team sports, their mothers have been making their way to Zumba, Crossfit, hot yoga, and boot camps in evergrowing numbers.

Keeping a trim figure with cottage cheese and pineapple has been replaced with spin class and barre. It is not just the muscle that tones. An athletic lifestyle sets women up to significantly reduce the chance of dementia, skirt the devastation of osteoporosis, and skip the heart attack.

www.3rdActMag.com

Some Facts • Researchers say people who are fit at age 50 are 36 percent less likely to be diagnosed with dementia in their 70s and 80s. The benefits continue as the decades pass: Being fit at 70 reduces your risk of developing dementia by 32 percent.

• Weakened bones cause 2 million fractures every year. When we exercise, we not only improve our muscle tone, but put a demand on our bones that may even cause them to become stronger.

• Regular exercise will strengthen your heart and help you sleep better.

It is never too late to reap the benefits of exercise. Title IX has indirectly led to a seismic increase in the number of fitness programs available for older

GET YOUR GAME ON! adults. Of course, for women who grew up in the pre-Title IX era this might take a little planning. Chronic pain, arthritis, joint replacements, diabetes, or even blood pressure concerns may make heading straight out to the gym unfathomable.

Fortunately, a few personal trainers specialize in older adult fitness and some hold advanced certifications in medical exercise. Talk to your primary care provider about enlisting an expert to help you prioritize and navigate a fitness plan. Then check out what the local parks department or senior center has to offer.

Whatever you do, don’t let your granddaughter have all the fun. It’s your turn to keep your body healthy and protect your mind.

Title IX never mentions sports. The legislation was meant to ensure that both girls and boys had access to programs paid for by federal funds.

What the signers did not know at the time is that they had signed legislation that could prevent some forms of cancer, reverse a diagnosis of Type II pre-diabetes, and reduce falls in older adults.

The National Diabetes Prevention Program has demonstrated that you can turn-around a diagnosis of pre-diabetes (Type II). People 65 and over, who took up exercise and lost a little weight, have a greater than 70 percent chance of never developing diabetes.

Two million fractures every year occur due to weakened bones. Regular exercise improves your sense of balance, increases muscle strength so that you can stay on your feet and may improve bone density.

COME PLAY WITH US! LIFELONG RECREATION PROGRAMS FOR 50+

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cheryl.brown@seattle.gov Aging with Confidence

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| 3rd Act magazine 39

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BRAIN HEALTH

THE HOLIDAY SEASON signals giving and gratitude.

Since President Abraham Lincoln proclaimed the first Thanksgiving holiday in 1863, we’ve gathered ‘round a feast of plenty celebrating bountiful harvests and living in America. Today, science has added delicious dressing to the meat of history by fleshing out what we know about the power of thankfulness.

Dr. Joyce Shaffer is founder and managing partner in Ideal Aging and a clinical associate professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at the University of Washington. As a psychologist and nurse, she has served as an expert for court systems since 1982, and she is the author of several books on her passion for enhancing brain power. Nothing in her column is intended as health care advice.

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We’ve learned that expressing gratitude can be good for your mental, physical, social, and economic health. When gratitude is put into words, it can be good for the giver, the receiver, and for your brain! Expressing gratitude makes people feel valued; it helps us form and maintain relationships; and it builds strong communities.

Since thankfulness boosts positive emotions, it improves healthy brain chemistry. Grateful people take better care of themselves, too. Focusing on gratitude leads to more happiness, better sleep, less stress and depression, improved self-esteem, increased generosity, and more loving feelings between people. Grateful people are even more likely to reach their goals. So to help keep your brain healthy, express gratitude!

My decades of devouring evolving neuroscience convince me that we have more reasons for optimism than ever before. Some of these new research findings are exhilarating! For example, Richard Davidson, founder of the Center for Healthy Minds at University of WisconsinMadison, found that meditation is associated with increased thickness in the left prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain associated with happy emotions. In his book Authentic Happiness, psychologist Martin Seligman describes the positive effects of a gratitude exercise carried out

by Steve Toepfer, associate professor in Human

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

Development and Family Studies at Kent State University. Toepfer found that large increases in happiness endured as long as a month for people who made a “gratitude visit” that included writing, delivering, and reading a personal letter of thanks.

That research moved me because a gift from my brother decades earlier changed my entire life.

Visiting home from the Navy, my brother Charles asked about my school applications. When I told him I hadn’t applied because I had no money, he said, “Tell me how much it will cost for the three years of training and I will send the money.” His generosity paved a path that helped me earn several degrees, circle the globe, and pursue my mission to empower the gifted who have a track record of service above self. Many years later, reading the laminated copy of my gratitude letter to him still brings tears of thankfulness.

Expressing gratitude might be the best gift you give yourself and others. Make regular gratitude visits, and you could create an endless cycle of happiness for brain health.

GRATITUDE VISIT

1 2 3 4 5 6

List individuals that you want to thank for what they’ve done.

Write a letter to one of them about their helpfulness. Invoke all your emotions.

Without telling them why, ask the person out for coffee or tea.

Then read your letter to them with full expression of all your feelings.

Accept all their emotions in response.

Leave your Gratitude Letter with them. www.3rdActMag.com

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Aging with Confidence

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ENCORE!

Sally Fox is a coach, consultant, speaker, and podcaster who’s helping individuals and organizations to bring their best stories forward.

She lives on Vashon Island with her horse, husband, and the inimitable Barrythe-cat. Read about her work and find her blog at engagingpresence.com.

You can also listen to her podcasts at 3rdActMagazine.com.

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YOU CAN REINVENT YOUR WORK or career at any age. I know this because I relaunched my consulting practice at 60.

Career books tell you that to reinvent yourself, you’ll need a clear sense of purpose and passion for what you’re doing. Check that! You’ll also need more time than you expect, and, if you’re lucky, a teenager at home or a millennial you can tap for technical support.

My purpose came to me quickly—after a mere four years of soul searching. I knew that my working days were numbered, so I gave myself three months to succeed with my new focus. My coaching friend Jeff counseled me that five years was probably more realistic. Dang him for being right!

My big challenges began with the technical aspects of marketing my refocused practice. I was a modern Rip Van Winkle waking up to the Internet age, with its requirements for websites, blogging, social media, and more. During my 30 years of consulting, I’d never needed a website.

Those days were over.

Some months and thousands of dollars later, I had a beautiful website, a regular blog, and a “presence” on social media like Facebook and Twitter. Then, a friend who remains nameless— thanks again, Jeff—suggested I try podcasting, a way to record interviews with fascinating guests from around the world, while sipping green tea in my Vashon Island office. Podcasting would help me build more online presence by allowing anyone on the planet to find my show on iTunes (along with, it seems, a billion other shows). He tempted me by saying that I had a good voice and inquiring mind (possibly true), and that recording technology was easy to master.

It probably would be easy, if you’re a 16-yearold. I’m not, but I launched the Vital Presence podcast anyway.

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

I soon discovered three key lessons about recording: • Cats intuitively know to meow when you’re recording.

• It’s risky to record a guest in Florida during hurricane season.

• Pushing the record button does not guarantee that you’re recording.

My early recording bloopers forced me to learn audio editing. Soon, I could recognize waveforms and edit out “um’s.” I felt proud, until my editing software crashed. Clearly, I needed technical www.3rdActMag.com

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support, someone who could help me troubleshoot and understand audio lingo, like equalizing and compression.

A friend referred me to a local tech expert, whom I immediately hired. His conversational skills seemed a bit shaky.

When he declined to drive to my place I discovered the truth: He was 13! I decided to upgrade to a millennial.

Age may bring wisdom, but my reinvention process has taught me humility. Colleagues in my podcasting support groups are half my age and know twice as much as I. I credit podcasting with keeping me young. (Forget “Brain Gym.” Try audio production.)

I wanted to become a great interviewer overnight and assiduously studied NPR stars like Krista Tippett and her relaxed, conversational interviews. Then I heard her admit that it took her five years to Aging with Confidence

master sounding “natural” on air.

Another learning curve!

I’m now 65 and the time it’s taken to build my new practice has grown from months into years. I love my new work, treasure every client, and have learned that a passion for work is the secret fuel that reinvention requires.

I even get a thrill each time I upload an interview or post a new blog and get a “high five” from the online monkeys at MailChimp, my blog distribution service.

To reinvent yourself, you need purpose, passion, and—to keep you going—a good story about what you’re doing. Mine is that it’s possible to start again at 60, master technology, have fun, and discover the pleasure of working at my creative peak.

And, even if I don’t have a teenager at home to offer technical support, I now know where to hire one!

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

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PHOTOS BY TERI THOMSON RANDALL

IF YOU’RE LUCKY ENOUGH to live a long life, you will likely meet people from countries you have never visited. They may be your caregivers, and they will come from all over the world, bringing with them a level of dedication that you might well find startling.

At the Hearthstone at Green Lake, employees come from at least 27 countries.

This fact led Leading Age Washington to give the Hearthstone an award of excellence for its longtime commitment to cultural diversity and inclusion, and the employees speak warmly of their passion for the work.

“I know this is my calling,” says nursing assistant Meredith Malabuen, who comes from the Philippines and has been at the Hearthstone for 17 years.

“Helping others is my forté,” explains human resources coordinator Mulu Habtyimer, who hails from Ethiopia. “I love it: that wonderful, warm feeling.”

Maza Gebregenet, a nurse’s aide from Eritrea, jokes that she’s known as the “hug aide,” because she loves to hug everyone, especially the residents with dementia. It makes them feel safer, Gebregenet says. Every day she asks herself, “How can I make them happy?”

When Hearthstone Director of Nursing Services Hamadi Sisawo came to the United States on a student visa, his goal was to become a computer engineer. But he found that what he really loved was the night job he took to finance his studies: working as a certified nursing assistant at the Hearthstone. Sisawo, who grew Aging with Confidence

up on a peanut farm in rural Gambia, switched course and eventually became a registered nurse.

Several promotions later, he now leads a staff that has maintained a zero-mistake, five-star rating for two straight years. The nurses and aides Sisawo supervises come from all over the world, but for Sisawo, crosscultural communication is not the biggest challenge. “Being a male RN in a female world” is more daunting, he insists.

Arlene Calague, Hearthstone’s Minimum Data Sets Coordinator, works closely with Sisawo. Calague, who came here from the Philippines 17 years ago, is also an RN. A big part of her job is to help colleagues for whom English is a second language master the details of health care documentation. “I always talk one-onone,” she says, with a goal to “explain and educate.”

Arlene, Hamadi, Maza, Meredith, and Mulu—the Hearthstone is really a first-name kind of place—are just a few of the employees I talked to when I visited.

I also met Pema Dorjee from Tibet, Poonam Kumari and Farzana Bi, both from Fiji, and Glenda VicunaSearles, from Peru. All of them love learning about each others’ countries and sharing their customs and foods with residents on monthly Culture Days. They

Top row: Left: Maza Gebregenet (Eritrea). Center: Lamin Samateh (Gambia). Right: Meredith Malabuen (Philippines).

Group from top left to right: Glenda Vicuna-Searles (Peru), Amy Johnson (USA), Arlene Calague (Philippines), Donabel Uy (Philippines), Senait Gebremichael (Eritrea), Rachel Pandiangan (Indonesia), Amaresh Tekle (Eritrea), Hamadi Sisawo (Gambia).

fall 2016

Ann Hedreen is a writer, filmmaker, and the author of Her Beautiful Brain, winner of a 2016 Next Generation Indie book award. Together, Ann and her husband Rustin Thompson own White Noise Productions and have made more than 150 short films and five feature documentaries, including Quick Brown Fox: an Alzheimer's Story. Their newest film, set in Peru and inspired by Ann’s great-uncle, is Zona Intangible.

| 3rd Act magazine 45

call it continuing education: the best kind, the kind that happens when you’re enjoying yourself.

Education is a popular word here among staff. It’s also a favorite among residents, many of whom are former University of Washington professors or schoolteachers like Lynn Burnett, who has lived at the Hearthstone since 1997.

Burnett is a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution and can trace her ancestors back to the Mayflower, yet she’s globally minded. She and many other Hearthstone residents are well-traveled and take great pleasure in learning about employees’ cultures and languages. “It sounds trite, but we’re like family,” she adds.

For several years, Burnett and another resident led a group of volunteer tutors to work with Hearthstone employees who willingly gave up break time or stayed late to learn the English words they needed to do their job. Burnett has also helped many employees study for their American citizenship exams. She’s been to many

of their naturalization ceremonies and weddings. She even has an Eritrean granddaughter: “adopted” as a baby, the orphaned niece of an employee, her grandchild Ruth is now 14 and visits Burnett regularly.

Hearthstone employees also talk a lot about how the residents are like family members. (Vicuna-Searles calls them “our grandparents.”) Nearly all of them explain that they come from countries where there is no such thing as long-term care. Caring for elders happens at home.

It’s a skill they witnessed, and learned, when they were very young. But they live here now, and understand firsthand the time and money pressures facing adult children in the United States.

“All of my children were born here,” Calague points out. “When I grow old, I’ll cross that same bridge!”

The Hearthstone employees are used to crossing bridges: they do it every day on the job. “You see people working in harmony,” says Habtyimer. “Ethiopians and Eritreans, for example. It gives you hope. It’s a beautiful thing to see.”

The notion of diversity as an opportunity to live a richer life, rather than a daunting challenge, is an attitude shift that could have a profound impact both inside and outside the world of senior living. When adult children and grandchildren visit their elders’ retirement homes, they too get to meet caregivers who come from faraway places. My mother, who died at 74 of Alzheimer’s disease, was cared for in her final years by loving aides from several countries. When a doctor or nurse visited her at her adult family home, it was Landing Faburay, from Gambia, who kept her calm during the exam. Witnessing his compassion was, for me, a profound lesson in empathy and attentiveness.

As was my visit to the Hearthstone.

None of us wants to believe we’ll ever need hands-on caregiving. But the chances are good that we will. It’s reassuring to know that it’s likely we’ll be in good, kind, loving hands that bring with them traditions of compassionate care from around the world.

BY THE NUMBERS The United States Census Bureau predicts that minority groups will become a majority of the U.S. population by 2044.

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By 2029, one in five Americans will be 65 or older (up from one in seven in 2014).

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The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that nine million Americans receive longterm care annually.

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The Paraprofessional Health Care Institute estimates that in the U.S. nearly one in four direct care/ home care workers are foreign born (47 percent are white, 30 percent African-American, 16 percent Latino, and 7 percent other).

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The Hearthstone’s staff is exceptionally diverse with 33 percent white, 19 percent Asian, 41 percent African-American, and 7 percent Hispanic.

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Group from top left to right: Mohammed Kombo (Lamu, Kenya), Amine Elbouchti (Morocco), Joanne Card (USA), Mahari Bahta (Eritrea), Jaswant Singh (Fiji), Adera Fikremichael (Ethiopia), Heena Dawda (India), Senait Gebremichael (Eritrea), Aynalem Demisse (Ethiopia), Alice Ray (USA), Sashil Pillay (Fiji), Azeb Mekete (Ethiopia).

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

www.3rdActMag.com

WHAT’S IN A NAME? These days, the media and society in general are twisting themselves into pretzels trying to figure out what to call older adults.

The word “senior” historically elevated one’s status, showing respect compared to the rookie-sounding “junior.” Yet many boomers patently reject the label and even people over 70 will often deny they are seniors unless they are accepting the discounts that go by that name. So, why can’t we agree on a positive name for our trailblazing troop? Perhaps it’s because putting a 50-year-old in the same group as a 75-year-old and a 95-year-old is like saying cats, ferrets, and pot-bellied pigs are the same because they are all pets.

Ashton Applewhite, author of This Chair Rocks, suggests “olders,” as in youngers and olders. We have also heard “encore adults” and “older adult,” the latter used nationally by AARP and locally by Sound Generations. “Mature” is an alternative, but maturity can be boring. And by dictionary definition, a “crone” is either an old woman considered to be an ugly hag or a woman who is venerated for experience, judgment, and wisdom. So which is it? The title of this magazine describes a stage of our life, but “3rd Actors” doesn’t quite sing as a group moniker.

Television’s Top Chef Carla Hall calls us “seasoned citizens,” a priceless word choice for a chef.

Researchers use focus groups, interviews, and surveys to learn our preferences. My statistically insignificant sample of eight elicited mixed results.

One friend and my brother both get their kicks talking about being geezers, claiming they’ve earned the right to call themselves whatever they want. But I bet they would balk if others referred to them by that label. My cousin loves saying he’s “an old coot and Aging with Confidence

proud of it.” I looked up coot and it fits him: “a strange and usually old man; a harmless, simple person.”

The women in my survey preferred “older adult.” They like the sage-y-ness ascribed to “elder,” but “elderly” brings visions of doddering down the street. They dislike “little old lady” and “young lady.” Overall, the group label seemed less important to them than the adjectives society uses to describe our traits— for example, referring to older people as alert, spry, and stubborn instead of focused, fit, and decisive.

I can wait forever to be called “alert” for the first time. Someone’s goin’ down if they call me that. I bristle at the use of “stubborn,” too.

When adult children call a parent stubborn, it usually means the parents won’t do what the kids want them to do. “Dad is so stubborn—he wants to stay in his own home.” As if he were a tantrum-throwing toddler.

I like the term “older adults.” It separates us from a newly minted 21-year-old adult.

“Older” isn’t pejorative—it’s factual and without qualifier. Simple.

What is your favorite term for people over 50? Tell us at 3rdactmag.com. fall 2016

Dori Gillam speaks on aging well, aging in community, and planning for a good death. A Seattle native, she has a bachelor’s degree in educational psychology and has worked for Sound Generations, AARP, and the Bayview Retirement Community. She is a hospice volunteer and board president for the Northwest Center for Creative Aging.

| 3rd Act magazine 47

www.3rdActMag.com

WordParts

OCEANS AND HUMANS The legacy of John Delaney the Tita Begashaw coaches Group Tee Hee Hee Laughter at Harborview Medical Center.

6 Cotton 7 Person 8 Random 9 Profit

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016 NCE CULTURAL CONVERGE caregiving The changing face of

1 Confront 2 Office 3 Donkey 4 Palace 5 Tango

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MAMMA’S MANNA Old World love RETIREMENT COMMUNITY

Home for the

gine ReimaHoliday s Time, Talent, and Treasure

Give

Better Health

Your Way

Laugh to

FALL 2016

Eponyms 1 Braille (Louis Braille) 2 Scrooge (Ebenezer Scrooge) 3 Caesar salad (Cesare Cardini) 4 Doily (Robert d’Oilly) 5 Guppy (Robert John Lechmere Guppy) 6 Leotard (Jules Léotard) (Léotard was also the inspiration for the 1867 song “The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze”)

FREE!

7 Nicotine (Jean Nicot)

Return the subscription card in this magazine or subscribe online at 3rdActMag.com.

4 issues Call 360-796-4837 or email ads@3rdActMagazine.com.

8 Ferris Wheel (George Washington Gale Ferris Jr.)

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9 Pasteurization (Louis Pasteur) 10 Murphy bed (William Lawrence Murphy)

Three-Letter Anatomy 1 Arm 6 Jaw 2 Ear 7 Leg 3 Eye 8 Lip 4 Gum 9 Rib 5 Hip 10 Toe

(Puzzles on page 56)

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Coming January 2017—3rd Act Magazine's

LIVING INTO DYING

AS WE TRANSITION INTO FALL and move our sights toward winter, we can see we are about to dive into a season steeped in traditions, culture, family, and community gatherings. Most of these are focused on joy, love, light, and the simple pleasure of gathering with family and friends.

Now more than ever, we feel the missing presence of a newly deceased relative or friend. Their place at the table remains painfully empty and the void is often deafening. In response, we are often told to focus on the positive, the joy, and not to dwell on the past or the pain.

Well, my friends…forcing “happy” often makes us sadder. Avoiding or ignoring the pain generally just makes more pain. Ignoring grief is actually giving it a VIP Gold Member invitation.

Before we can go forward, we need to go back.

Historically, many of our ancestors returned home from distant fields to hunker down for the hard winter months to come.

The return to hearth and home, to family and close-knit community life, is embedded in our bones. We take a break from “ploughing” through our daily grind to have time with family.

Borrowing a grief-soothing tool from our past or from our cultural neighbors can help. There are many ways to handle the “Season of Joy” Aging with Confidence

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while working with your grief.

Remember that the love we feel is in direct relationship to the gratitude we feel for their presence in our lives. The heartache we feel from the loss of a beloved can be soothed with the salve of gratitude for what they brought to our lives.

GRIEF-SOOTHING TOOLS • In Latin America, Dia de los Muertos—The Day of the Dead—is a huge celebration completely devoted to remembering and honoring our beloved dead in a beautiful example of acknowledging our love and loss.

• In late October, take an afternoon to spruce up and decorate the graves of your relatives. Gold and orange marigolds are the traditional flowers for this.

• In the Celtic and British traditions, set a place at the table with a picture or name card for a recently dead relative. Giving permission to acknowledge their presence in everyone’s mind offers powerful healing.

• Start the meal by offering toasts to family members, pets, and close friends who have died since the last family gathering as a way to welcome the love you shared with them to the table.

• Stories are a highlight of fireside chats. Share the stories of your beloved dead with laughter and tears. This is how they live on forever in our hearts.

• Invite those coming to dinner to bring a pebble or flower for each person they have lost in the last year. In turn, people can place these in a vase on the table and offer a story about their loved ones.

Ashley T Benem is the founder of the non-profit A Sacred Passing: Death Midwifery Service and the creator of The Art of Death Conference.

She is an advocate for palliative and end-of-life care issues, empowering and supporting families to reclaim their right to die in congruence with their lives. Contact Ashley at asacredpassing@gmail. com.

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 49

PHOTO BY RICK STEVES

Norwegian girls celebrate the feast of Santa Lucia on December 13 with a candlelight procession.

IN EUROPE, “CHRISTMAS” LASTS much longer than a day. The season stretches well over a month—not to extend the shopping season, but to fit in the many holy days and festivities.

First comes Advent, beginning four Sundays before Christmas Eve. Next up is the Feast of St. Nicholas, celebrated mostly in Catholic countries on December 6.

For many Europeans, the season’s main event is Christmas Eve, celebrated with Midnight Mass and a grand meal. Others focus more on Christmas Day and gift-giving. The “Twelve Days of Christmas” stretch from December 25 until January 6, which is Epiphany, the day the Three Kings delivered their gifts. Then the season goes into hibernation until next year.

While there are many great European Christmas traditions, here are a few of my favorites from three countries—Norway, France, and England.

Rick Steves (www.ricksteves.com) writes European travel guidebooks and hosts travel shows on public television and public radio. Email him at rick@ ricksteves.com and follow his blog on Facebook.

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Norway Christmas in Norway, especially since the advent of electricity, is a festival of light—a promise of longer days and the return of the sun. Norwegians need a boost during those weeks when high noon feels like twilight and it’s dark by 4 p.m.

A high-“light” of the season is December 13, the feast day of Santa Lucia, the “Queen of Lights”—a tradition which started in Sweden. Lucia was a fourth-century Sicilian saint who (legend says) helped persecuted Christians hiding in tunnels.

To guide them, she wore a wreath with candles on her head. In the Scandinavian version, a young woman born of rich and noble parents went from

3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

one farm to the next, dressed in a white gown with a red sash. To light her way, she wore a crown of lingonberry twigs with blazing candles and carried a torch, as she brought baked goods to each house.

Today Santa Lucia Day is celebrated in Norway and Sweden in family gatherings, churches, schools, day-care centers, nursing homes, and hospitals. It starts with a procession of girls led by one dressed as the “Lussibrud,” wearing a white robe and a crown of lights. The girls carry baskets of saffron buns, called Lussekattor, to hand out.

France Food is at the center of life in France, even in the dead of winter. The most anticipated culinary event of the year is Le Reveillon de Noël, the Christmas Eve feast. Reveillon literally means an “awakening.”

In a symbolic sense, the Reveillon is a kind of spiritual and edible wake-up call.

Like most French dinners, it’s a multi-course affair lasting hours. Each region of France proudly serves its own special dishes for the Reveillon,

A Parisian Christmas Eve feast often begins with a plate of raw oysters.

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reflecting local ingredients and cuisine.

In Paris, the meal kicks off with raw oysters. Another popular appetizer throughout France—and a specialty of Alsace—is foie gras. In Brittany, locals enjoy buckwheat cakes and sour cream.

In Provence, people share a special Christmas bread; after giving half of it to a poor person, they eat the rest.

The Reveillon builds to the dessert, a cake called Bûche de Noël (Yule Log).

This rolled sponge cake is covered with bark (chocolate butter-cream frosting), mushrooms (cocoa-dusted meringue), and holly leaves (almond paste), all sprinkled with powdered-sugar snow.

and Victorians. Children remain the focal point. They help choose and decorate the tree (often with ornaments they’ve made themselves), sing heartily at church concerts, and act like “perfect angels” in Nativity plays. Some send letters to Father Christmas (or Santa), telling him what they want for Christmas. Some messages may go via email, but the traditional way is to throw real letters into the back of the fireplace. The draft carries them up the chimney to Father Christmas.

On Christmas Day, kids love Christmas crackers—but they’re not something to eat. In 1846, a clever English shop-owner took a strip of paper

impregnated with chemicals which, when rubbed, created enough friction to produce a pop. He tucked it inside a colored paper wrapper and stuffed the wrapper with candy, tiny toys, and love notes. His “Christmas cracker” became a sensation. Today, just as in Victorian times, kids break open these wrapped paper tubes, and crack! Toys, candy, and surprises spill out.

Europe is my favorite place to travel, and Christmas is my favorite holiday. Try borrowing from the vivid traditions of Europe. Your own holiday season may have a little more meaning, a little more diversity, and maybe a little more pop.

England Despite the onslaught of Americanstyle commercialism, the English today celebrate Christmas with many of the same traditions enjoyed by the Elizabethans Aging with Confidence

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 51

ON THE TOWN

AUTUMN BRINGS A NEW HARVEST of arts and entertainment offerings in the Seattle area—things to discover or re-discover, and to savor with family and friends. Here are some of the enticing events on the horizon.

Return to Narnia The Seattle Children’s Theatre is a local treasure for dramalovers of all ages. From Oct. 13 through Dec. 11, the company brings back its magical adaptation of a beloved fantasy tale, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Based on the first volume of the C.S. Lewis series, The Narnia Chronicles, this play with music follows four English youths, consigned to the countryside during World War II, who find an enchanted land behind an old wardrobe. In the beautiful but oppressed Narnia, they help a talking lion defy a wicked white witch who has kept the country in a perpetual state of winter—with no Christmas allowed.

Misha Berson writes about the arts for The Seattle Times and many other publications, and is the author of four books, including Something’s Coming, Something Good: West Side Story and the American Imagination (Applause/ Hal Leonard).

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, 2003 production; Emily Cedergreen (Lucy).

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

This may be the perfect chance to also share the Lewis book, an international best-seller that’s been translated into more than 40 languages, with young people who haven’t read it yet. Or you can extend the pleasure of the play yourself by diving into the The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe again, or for the first time.

For tickets and more information, contact Seattle Children’s Theatre at 206-441-3322 or see sct.org.

Book-It’s Treasure Island Another classic hitting the boards could also lead you and young ones on an epic journey. Book-It Repertory Theatre, which has adapted scores of literary works for live audiences, is unveiling its new dramatization of the ripping pirate yarn, Treasure Island.

Penned by Robert Louis Stevenson in the 1880s as a magazine serial, this coming-of-age classic follows young Jim Hawkins, an innkeeper’s son, on a ship voyage with a dissolute band of treasureseekers that includes the infamous Long John Silver, he of the peg leg, eye patch, and pet parrot on his shoulder.

One thrilling escapade follows hard on the heels of another in Stevenson’s colorful fable. And while many previous adaptations of Treasure Island have swashbuckled their way across stage and screen, Book-It has a unique style of translating from page to stage. For one thing, the company will use as much of Stevenson’s original prose as possible in its version.

The show runs Nov. 23 through Dec. 24. For details and tickets, call 206-216-0833 or visit book-it.org.

A Duke Ellington Christmas The December arts calendar is heavy on holiday events, including such perennial favorites as the Pacific Northwest Ballet’s Nutcracker Suite, Seattle Symphony’s Messiah, and ACT Theatre’s A Christmas www.3rdActMag.com

NARNIA PHOTO BY CHRIS BENNION

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Carol. But if you are in the mood for something different, in a jazzy key, the annual Sacred Music of Duke Ellington concert performed by the Seattle Jazz Repertory Orchestra and other local artists should be on your list.

Composer, pianist, and bandleader Duke Ellington was an innovator steeped in jazz, but he had far-ranging musical interests. “Every man prays in his own language,” he once said. And his concerts of original sacred music, originally performed in 1965, 1968, and 1973, were inspirational events with soaring spirituals, swinging band compositions, and tap dance hymns.

The music endures, and the Dec. 17 concert at Seattle’s Town Hall will be the 28th annual, soul-stirring concert of these Ellington selections presented by the city’s Earshot Jazz organization.

It will feature the excellent Seattle Jazz Repertory Orchestra, noted vocalists, a

gospel choir, and tap dancers. It’s best to reserve tickets early, since these concerts often sell out. To find out more, go to earshotjazz.org or call the Town Hall box office at 206-652-4255.

National Theatre Live London is indisputably one of the world’s theater capitals. But if a trip to England isn’t on your agenda this fall, you can still enjoy some of that historic city’s finest stage performances in a cinema near you, and for a modest price.

The film series NT Live captures live, acclaimed productions by the National Theatre, London’s leading drama center.

This fall, Puget Sound cinemas will screen several highly praised NT Live shows, including two stunning works featuring one of the most popular and skilled British actors of our day, Benedict Cumberbatch.

When he isn’t portraying a

cyber-age Sherlock Holmes on the telly or appearing in sequels to The Hobbit films, this classically trained thespian is flexing his theater muscles.

This autumn, NT Live reprises Cumberbatch’s stellar performances in Frankenstein (he and Jonny Lee Miller take turns playing the monster and his maker), and as the tragic Dane in a splendid rendering of Shakespeare’s Hamlet, which I caught last year and highly recommend.

The local NT Live screenings occur on various dates in many venues, including cinemas in Seattle, Bellevue, and Lynnwood. For a local schedule and ticket information go to ntlive.nationaltheatre.org.uk.

Visit the 14th Century for An Unforgettable Destination Dinner

Bors Hede Restaurant features sumptuous platters of fresh food prepared from authentic 14th century recipes. Enjoy fine wine, mead, and ale. Open year-round, Wednesday to Sunday, 5 to 8 pm.

10320 Kelly Road NE; Carnation, WA Aging with Confidence

•

camlann.org

•

Reservations: 425-788-8624

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 53

I WAS ALWAYS DELIGHTED whenever I came across an essay

by Oliver Sacks. His writing was enlightening and entertaining, whatever the subject. He died just over a year ago, but a few more essays have been collected in his final book, Gratitude. Its four short essays, all written after Sacks learned of his impending death, glow with the delight he found in the world around him and his thanks for having been blessed with a life of curiosity and meaning and love.

Like many of us, Sacks bounced around in his early life— but when he settled in to his life’s work, the results were extraordinary. Always exploring the edges of neuroscience, he used the stories of people afflicted with odd neuro-maladies to shine a light on the workings of the normal brain. Along the way, he highlighted the brain’s extraordinary ability to adapt to the most challenging circumstances.

Sacks’ first book was Awakenings, and Robin Williams portrayed him in the movie made from it. From the start, he communicated an empathy and sense of wonder to his readers and broadened the understanding of neuroscience. He wrote

in a literary, not technical, style that made science accessible to the layperson.

The New York Times once called Sacks “the poet laureate of contemporary medicine.” In this last book, he becomes a poet laureate of aging and dying as well, reminding us of the gifts that age can bestow, including the perspective that you can only get by getting old.

“I do not think of old age as an ever grimmer time,” he writes, “but as a time of leisure and freedom, freed from the factitious urgencies of earlier days, free to explore whatever I wish, and to bind the thoughts and feelings of a lifetime together.”

THE BABY BOOMER GENERATION is gray, and it is in decline. It is a generation characterized, among other things, by sheer numbers—about 75 million people.

And boomers face the myriad perils of longevity. In this short work of 160 pages, Old Age: A Beginner’s Guide, Michael Kinsley addresses his generation with a mix of impatience and concern. Diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease in his early 40s—he’s now 65—his long tenure in the land of the ill awakened him to the truth that death is our future.

Expect to be informed and entertained. Kinsley has had a long career as a prominent political commentator: co-host of CNN’s Crossfire (1989-1995), a founder of the Seattle-based Slate (for which the Columbia Journalism Review named him its Editor of the Year in 1999), and contributor to Vanity Fair, The New Yorker, The Washington Post, and many more.

Every generation is assigned its own qualities, and Kinsley is ambivalent about ours. “The indictment against the baby

boomer generation is familiar, way oversimplified, and only partly fair,” he writes. We have been accused of greed, rapacity, self indulgence, cynicism. In different contexts, though, such negatives can be revised, and we’ve also become known for our social and environmental activism, war resistance, and for speaking truth to power.

What should boomers want, as we age? Longevity? Fame?

Stuff? What is our legacy? Kinsley notes with rue that our generation is known to have turned everything into a competition—even death. Painless and quick gets the prize.

What, he asks, are our pursuits worth in the face of mortality?

Like most mortality memoirs, Old Age: A Beginner’s Guide laments that to live with a diagnosis is to be expelled from the club of the living. Many “lasts” loom, as in the last skiing vacation, the last puppy, the last new car. And so all choices take on a poignant significance. How much more might we value our lives if aging were regarded as a diagnosis?

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— DAVID MARSHALL

— HOLLIS GIAMMATTEO www.3rdActMag.com

PHOTO OF OLIVER SACKS BY BILLY HAYES

BOOKS

COMING AT TRACTIONS Fall brings the return of shorter days, longer nights—and plenty of exhibits, performing arts events, festivals, and holiday celebrations to get us out and about. Here are some of our favorites.

How to Have a Good Day

OCT 21

Whether we have a good day or not often seems to depend on things we can’t control. Caroline Webb outlines simple, action-oriented steps to tweak our daily routines and transform our experience of what happens around us, putting many more good days within reach.

TEDx Ideas Conference

NOV 19

Feel the excitement in person and expand your horizons with these engaging talks about technology, entertainment, and design followed by an evening reception at McCaw Hall.

TEDxSeattle.org

888.377.4510 townhallseattle.org

OCTOBER

National Geographic Live at Benaroya Hall OCT 23–25

Earshot Jazz Festival

OCT 7–NOV 11

More than 50 concerts by local and worldwide jazz greats and award-winning student ensembles in multiple venues around Seattle.

206.547.6763 earshot.org Man of La Mancha

Go on assignment to the world's most dangerous conflict zones with Pulitzer Prize-winning photojournalist Lynsey Addario as she shares her stories and images, live onstage in “A Photographer’s Life of Love and War.” 206.215.4747 seattlesymphony.org

OCT 7–30

An epic and enduring musical, Man of La Mancha is a glorious affirmation of the unyielding resilience of the human spirit.

206.625.1900 5thavenue.org

888.342.2383 stepout.diabetes.org

Yves Saint Laurent: The Perfection of Style OCT 11–JAN 8

French designer Yves Saint Laurent revolutionized fashion over the course of his 44-year career. See the finished garments as well as the sketches, fabrics, and processes that led to these works of wearable art at the Seattle Art Museum.

206.654.3210 seattleartmuseum.org Perlman Conducts Mozart’s Requiem OCT 16

Legendary violinist Itzhak Perlman graces a concerto by Bach — and then trades his bow for a baton to lead Mozart’s swan song, the Requiem. The Seattle Symphony Chorale breathes new life into this haunting masterpiece at Benaroya Hall.

206.215.4747 seattlesymphony.org

Seattle Step Out & Wellness Expo NOV 19

Make a positive impact in the lives of people affected by diabetes and improve your own health. Enjoy the walk, then attend an American Diabetes Association Wellness EXPO with over 50 health and wellness vendors at Magnuson Park.

DECEMBER Gingerbread Art

NOVEMBER Dining Out in Style

NOV 6–23

Dozens of local restaurants offer special deals on three-course meals Sundays through Thursdays through November in locations all over the area.

NOV 22-JAN 1

Extraordinary displays created by chefs, architects, and builders at the 24th annual Gingerbread Village in the lobby of the Sheraton Seattle Hotel. Benefits the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

206.838.5153 gingerbreadvillage.org

206.629.2346 dinearoundseattle.org Free National Parks

NOV 11

The national parks are 100 years old this year. Enjoy these remarkable treasures for free on Veterans Day, November 11. nationalparkservice.org Festival of Trees

NOV 19–30

Admire (or buy!) beautifully decorated Christmas trees, each with its own unique theme and style. In the lobby of the Fairmont Olympic Hotel. Benefits Seattle Children’s Hospital.

206.236.6167 seattlefestivaloftrees.org Aging with Confidence

Caroling Extravaganza

DEC 2

Hear 40 caroling teams at one of Seattle’s most magical and festive nights of the year, from 6 to 8:30 p.m. at Westlake Center.

206.728.2773 pikemarketseniorcenter.org/ figgy-pudding

fall 2016

| 3rd Act magazine 55

Exercise your brain and have some fun with these puzzles designed to stimulate different cognitive functions.

WordParts (easy) The word menace is defined as “a threat.” In this game, however, we don’t supply the definition of a word, but of its parts. For example, given the clue “male adults,” plus the second clue “the highest card in the deck,” the answer is menace (men + ace).

Three-Letter Anatomy (hardest)

We found ten parts of the body with names that are only three letters long.

How many can you name in one minute?

1

The opposite of pro + the opposite of back

2

The opposite of on + frozen water

3

Mr. Rickles + locking device

4

Chum + highest/lowest card

5

A summer complexion color + a corner Monopoly space

6

A narrow canvas bed + two thousand pounds

7

For each + a male descendant

8

Sprinted + Mr. DeLuise

9

In favor of + in shape

Eponyms (harder) An eponym is a noun that is associated with a person’s name. For example, calling someone a “Benedict Arnold” means that he’s a traitor. It’s also common for a disease, such as Alzheimer’s, to take the name of the researcher who first identified it.

How many of these eponyms do you know?

1

A reading and writing system for the blind, named after its French inventor

2

An epithet that means miserly or cheap, derived from a character in a Charles Dickens story

3

A salad with Romaine lettuce, croutons, Parmesan cheese, anchovies, and a raw egg, named after the Italian-American restaurateur who created it

4

An ornamental mat often placed on side tables or under lamps, named after a 17th-century drape maker

5

A common small aquarium fish, named after the 19th-century British naturalist who discovered it near Trinidad

6

A one-piece, tight-fitting garment worn by gymnasts and dancers, named after a 19th-century French acrobat

7

An addictive substance, named after the 16th-century French diplomat who introduced tobacco to France

8

Usually the tallest ride at a fair or amusement park, named after the American engineer who invented it for the 1893 Chicago World’s Columbian Exposition

9

The process of sterilizing milk and other dairy products, named after the pioneering French chemist and microbiologist who invented it

10

A hideaway bed named after its American inventor who was granted a patent in 1916

Answers on page 48 Reprinted with permission from Nancy Linde, author of the best selling book 399 Puzzles, Games, and Trivia Challenges Specially Designed to Keep Your Brain Young, and creator of the website Never2Old4Games.com used by many senior-serving communities and organizations. Nancy’s new book, 417 More Games, Puzzles, and Trivia Challenges Specially Designed to Keep Your Brain Young, will be available in October, 2016.

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3rd Act magazine | fall 2016

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fall 2016

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