11.01.2017

November 01, 2017 34st.com

Cutest Couple

Most Likely to Quit Their Office Job and Become a Farmer

Best House

2017

senior superlatives Best Dressed Best Exes

Most Likely to Order Wine at Smokes

Cutest Couple That Never Was

Most likely to EGOT

Most Likely to Shatter the Glass Ceiling

Best Tastefully Titillating Instagrammer

Most Likely to Write an Inflammatory Facebook Post

Sexiest Campus Sweetheart Mofo

Most Likely to be a Penn Professor

Closest Freshman Hall Most Likely to Wear Greek Letters After Graduation

Best Humblebragger

Most Likely to be in MoMA

Most Likely to be on Forbes’ 30 Under 30

Most Changed Since Freshman Year

Most Likely to be on the Cover of Sports Illustrated

november 01

LETTERFROMTHEEDITOR

2017

LOL

3 HIGHBROW

overheards, my stranger penn adiction: vice

4 WORD ON THE STREET death on campus

5 MUSIC

rise of concept album, Chronixxx

8 EGO eotw

LOL

10 FEATURE

senior superlatives

Guess what guys? I can now do push ups. Seriously. Me and my weird, creepily–long arms can now do push ups.

I never liked working out. In high school my friends banned me from running because my form was so bad. It was an admittedly spectacular combination of splayed out ankles and angled feet. They all played soccer or ran track, and I sat quietly. I can honestly say I didn't do any physical activity for around five years, from ages 12 to 17. After a long stint doing yoga, I decided over this summer that I wanted to get strong. Disgustingly strong.

Like, almost too strong.

13 VICE & VIRTUE

LOL

14 FILM & TV

big mouth, why we deserved sex and the city 3

WILLIAM STREET COMMON

16 ARTS

finding comfort in art, sleep a thriller

18 LOWBROW LOL

18 TO ENTER, 21 TO DRANK. GET YO JAM ON.

penn fall calendar, freshman brave enough to be alone

Orly Greenberg, Editor–in–Chief Dani Blum, Managing Editor Chloe Shakin, Audience Engagement Director Teagan Aguirre, Design Director Carissa Zou, Design Director Corey Fader, Photo Director

Nick Castoria, Highrow Beat Paul Litwin, Music Beat Amy Marcus, Music Beat Aliya Chaudhry, Music Beat Noah Kest, Music Beat Michelle Pereira, Music Beat Jess Sandoval, Music Beat Shoshana Sternstein, Lowbrow Beat Dano Major, Lowbrow Beat Lily Zirlin, Lowbrow Beat Cami Potter, Lowbrow Beat Noa Baker, Vice & Virtue Beat Lily Snider, Vice & Virtue Beat Morgan Potts, Vice & Virtue Beat Julia Messick, Vice & Virtue Beat Jillian Karande, Vice & Virtue Beat Molly Hessel, Vice & Virtue Beat Gina Alm, Arts Beat Sherry Tseng, Arts Beat Linda Lin, Arts Beat Michaela Tinkey, Arts Beat

Nick Joyner, Features Editor Julia Bell, Features Editor Angela Huang, Word on the Street Editor Dalton DeStefano, Film & TV Editor Annabelle Williams, Highbrow Editor Haley Weiss, Ego Editor Andreas Pavlou, Vice & Virtue Editor Talia Sterman, Music Editor Colin Lodewick, Arts Editor Claire Schmidt, Lowbrow Editor Catalina Dragoi, Film & TV Beat Michaela Reitano, Film & TV Beat Sabrina Qiao, Ego Beat Maria Riillo, Ego Beat Natalia Sanchez-Nigolian, Ego Beat Lucia Kim, Highbrow Beat Daniel Bulpitt, Highbrow Beat Angela Lin, Highrow Beat 2

It's an hour when I can just focus on myself—not my school work, not my friends, not even Street (I know).

It's not so much the physical act of working out as it is the mental cleanse. And if I can now do some push ups? Even better.

TRADE YOUR WORK OUT FOR A ~WERK~ OUT. COME TO STREET'S BATTLE OF THE BANDS: THURS, NOVEMBER 9, 8:30–10:30 PM

how not to get cuffed

LOL

So I started going to the gym. I started taking classes at Pottruck, small group training that lets me hang out with buddies while exercising.

There's something so, so rewarding about seeing tangible differences in your body and in your mindset. I love that I can walk into the gym, week by week, and count the number of sit ups I can now do, or measure exactly how many more pounds I can pick up (and then immediately drop, I'm still not that strong). It doesn't matter what I look like. It matters that I can carve out time in my day to do something that's just good for me.

Staff Writers: EIsabelle Fertel, Caroline Curran, Kiana Cruz, Clare Kearns, McKay Norton, Chen Chen Zhang, Brookie McIlvaine, Steph Barron, Lauren

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

Donato, Frankie Reitmeyer, Jamie Gobreski, Brittany Levy, Jessica Li, Maria Formoso Zack Greenstein, Design Editor Christina Piasecki, Design Editor Katherine Waltman, Design Editor Gloria Yuen, Illustrator Anne Marie Grudem, Illustrator Avalon Morell, Photo Editor Autumn Powell, Photo Editor Megan Kyne, Photo Editor Christina Piasecki, Photo Editor Emily Hason, Video Director Daniel Rubin, Video Editor Megan Kyne, Video Editor Lea Eisenstein, Copy Director Sophia Griffith-Gorgati, Copy Editor Nancy Liu, Copy Editor Kimberly Batista, Copy Editor Colleen Campbell, Copy Editor Kolade Lawal, Copy Editor Cole Bauer, Social Media Editor Paige Fishman, Social Media Editor

Hanniel Dizon, Social Media Editor Carly Shoulberg, Social Media Editor Julia Klayman, Social Media Editor Merry Gu, Social Media Editor Chae Hahn, Social Media Editor Sarah Poss, Social Media Editor Lily Haber, Social Media Editor Unless otherwise noted, all photos are by Corey Fader, Autumn Powell, Megan Kyne, Christina Piasecki, and Brinda Ramesh.

Contacting 34th Street Magazine: If you have questions, comments, complaints or letters to the editor, email Orly Greenberg, Editor–in–Chief, at greenberg@dailypennsylvanian.com. You can also call us at (215) 422-4640. www.34st.com "I just researched it, and it can't be a brothel." ©2017 34th Street Magazine, The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc. No part may be reproduced in whole or in part without the express, written consent of the editors (but I bet we will give you the a-okay.) All rights reserved. 34th Street Magazine is published by The Daily Pennsylvanian, Inc., 4015 Walnut St., Philadelphia, Pa., 19104, every Wednesday.

HIGH BROW

over heard PENN at

Photo by Corey Fader

MY STRANGE PENN ADDICTION:

VICE EDITION

1 2 3 4

We know you just can’t quit it.

JUULING ANYWHERE BUT THE OUTDOORS. Hitting your Juul inside of Penn facilities is just that much more fun. It’s our badass way of saying “fuck you” to the establishment, amirite kids? We can definitely wait until we step outside to get our mango–nicotine fix for the hour, but doing it inside just feels so right. Whether we’re in lecture, in the Frontera line, or grinding in a QSR, hit that juul boi.

SMOKES’ PIZZA. When your friend group is debating whether to go get salad or Chinese for the fifth night in a row and someone suggests popping into Smokes’ for pizza, Highbrow knows you aren’t saying no. We’re bona–fide addicted to that yummy goodness too. It’s okay if you want order the fries, too— we won’t judge.

FROYO. After a long day of studying, you just want some froyo and we don’t blame you. “Can we just have like a light froyo?” your friend asks as you leave VP to walk back home. How can we decline such a proposition? Froyo is kind of healthy, right? There’s fruit and lowfat yogurt options. TBH, Highbrow's not getting those. We'll be having regular fat yogurt with cookie dough and we are going to love it. You’re either with us or you’re against us.

HEAD. If a fellow Quaker is down to go down on you, say yes to the dress. We prefer to think of this strange addiction as more of a normal virtue, quite frankly. But remember, as Ben Franklin said, you gotta get to give. We’re down if you’re down.

Realist: “It’s sad because nobody is gonna tell him his beats suck just 'cause he’s in Theos.”

Academically inclined voyeur: “Dude, look at this photo of my professor at a strip club!”

Guy who probably ships Cersei and Jamie: “I know my dad hooked up with your aunt, but I think we could continue the familial relationship.”

Creative writing prof: “If you ever have a choice between a boyfriend and a cheese sandwich, stick with the cheese.”

That kid who showed up to every Halloween party: "If you don't make out with your best friends like are you even best friends?"

Adamant frat brother: "I swear I’m gonna be a father by the end of the month.”

NICK CASTORIA

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

3

WORD ON THE STREET

word on the STREET

LIFE AFTER A DEATH ON CAMPUS

The day before my first classes at Penn, I attended two ceremonies: Convocation and an impromptu memorial service. A close friend from high school, John, had died in a plane crash the previous night. A boy on my hall held my hand as I cried during Disney Acapella’s rendition of “I Will Find My Way” from Hercules. We didn’t really know each other, but we didn’t really know anyone. I had arrived on campus four days earlier, ready to spend the next few weeks making the lifelong friends Amy Gutmann promised in her opening speech. Instead, I’d spend them coping with the loss of one. Afterwards, the Class of 2018 jammed the gates of the Quad, laughing, chatting, shaking hands. I swiped in with the rest and retreated to the unpacked boxes of my room.

Gradually, in the weeks following the funeral, the waves of tears became more predictable, less powerful, and less frequent until they broke only on nights when I lay awake and alone in my twin XL. Like everyone else, I learned to drink too much in a safety net of friends and peers who were also drinking too much, confident we’d stumble home together. I learned to get up, sit through a class session and churn out essays in preparation for graduation, for the days when there would be no exams to dread or Locust Walk to avoid. I learned to cry about internship rejections and boys who disappeared on purpose. By second semester, the closest I came to contemplating my own mortality on a regular basis was fretting about graduation—my imminent descent into adulthood.

Until, along with every other Penn student, I’d receive an email from the Penn administration informing us of a death on campus—a reminder of the impermanence of not only col4

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

STEPH BARRON

lege, but of us and the things we planned on taking with us when we leave.

Because, even when the name in the email is unfamiliar for more than just the uncharacteristic somber tone or the formal inclusion of a middle initial, the news of the death of a fellow student can be poignant. If you don’t share a string of texts documenting the past few years, you might share a group photo that now feels

We learn about losses through email.

school graduation a few months earlier, we’d been close for three years, through the endings of various friendships, relationships, and application processes. Then I’d spent the summer at home in London, he as a counselor at a summer camp in the U.S., I was headed to Penn, he to Case Western. Like many high school friendships, ours, while retaining its significance, lost its urgency. But once I knew he was gone forever, I started seeing him under the hoods of Penn sweatshirts on Locust, behind Solo cups in dark houses with sticky floors, amidst the faces of ranging familiarity assembled above McClelland for the Econ Scream.

Of course, I never found him. But as my life continued, I found new people to hold on to through the various losses—personal and communal—of the past few years. With a semester and a half left to go, the Class of 2018 has learned of those losses through emails, two from our own class in the past three months. As more of us turn twenty–two, acIllustration by Anne Marie Grudem cept job offers, pack up our rooms and fade from each other’s consciousness, eerie. If you don’t have memories of watching that list can only get longer. And there’s somenights become days on some porch, a chance thing about that knowledge that makes us see encounter might retroactively gain significance the circles of people we’ve formed around us, and wedge itself in your mind. At Penn, so that makes us pull them in closer as our last many of our relationships are undefined, and few months together slip away. so few degrees of separation fit between even On my bus ride from New York the Monday the least acquainted people that it’s almost im- after Fall Break—the day of the last email—I possible not to feel an abrupt absence. Wheth- made phone calls to friends directly affected er the news tears your world apart or just casts and mental notes of comfort food I could dea shadow over your week before you and every- liver and advice I could give, all of which I thing around you jolts back to normal, there’s knew would fix nothing. And yet, as useless as a moment of dark shock we all share.

I felt, I was overwhelmed by a sense of belongJohn’s death, to me, was apocalyptic. But ing. My little world at Penn had never been what I hate to admit is, I hadn’t kept him in more damaged, but returning to it had never my life the way I’d thought I would. When felt more like coming home. we shared a tearful goodbye at our boarding

S E N I O R S U P E R L AT I V E S

CLASS OF 2017 SENIOR SUPERLATIVES MOST LIKELY TO BE ON THE COVER OF SPORTS ILLUSTRATED: MICHELLE NWOKEDI

MOST LIKELY TO SHATTER THE GLASS CEILING: MAKAYLA REYNOLDS

Michelle never played any sport other than basketball: she started in sixth grade and clearly had a knack for it, as she’s currently one of the standout players on Penn’s Women’s Basketball team. As the 2017 Ivy League Player of the Year, she divides her time between practice, studying Communications, and volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters at Penn. If you haven’t seen her scoring on the court, maybe you’ve seen her walking around campus (at 6’3” she’s easy to spot). When she’s not flying around the world competing in tournaments, she’s busy responding to instagram DMs from Shaq (actually). Michelle is currently deciding between playing basketball professionally overseas or pursuing a career in ad sales within the sports industry. She wants to use basketball as a way for her to travel the world, so Sports Illustrated better hit her up now before she moves on to even bigger and better things.

SEXIEST MOFO: LOLO LOMAX

In just four years, Lolo's managed to involve herself in every single corner of campus and still have the time to snatch the Sexiest Mofo crown.

And this Health and Societies major has already sub–matriculated into the Master of Public Health program at Penn, so she'll be around campus to watch the throne for a few more years. LoLo is involved with almost every group listed in the SAC activities directory: she dances with Strictly Funk, is involved with MedLife and the Minority of Association of Pre– Health Students, volunteers with Big Brothers Big Sisters, and is an accomplished flutist. Whew. And as far as her crowning sexiest attribute, she'd tell you it's her smile and ability to make you laugh.

Few people on this campus are as active as Makayla. She’s been class president since the end of her sophomore year, and has worked with Class Board to promote mental health initiatives on campus. As a member of Big Brothers Big Sisters and Community School Student Sponsorships, Makayla mentors and tutors younger students in West Philadelphia. She’s also a kickass public speaker, and wants to spend a year doing service after graduation THEN study law and work in public policy. We can already see the cracks forming in the ceiling.

Sitar India

Open 6 Days a Week (CLOSED TUESDAYS) • FREE Delivery • Lunch and Dinner Buffet

Present your Student ID for

10% OFF!

(215) 662-0818 | 60 South 38th Street N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

5

S E N I O R S U P E R L AT I V E S

CUTEST COUPLE: ALLIE RUBIN & JAKE FISCHER

Where do Allie Rubin and Jake Fischer stack up on the list of chillest Penn couples?

These two lovebirds would like to think they’re right at the top. “We’re the best couple to third wheel,” said Jake. “People hang out with us and they feel like they’re hanging out with their friends, rather than like third-wheeling a couple.”

With awkward third-wheeling out the window (phew), the only trouble is actually tracking down this crazy busy couple for some quality time. Allie is the current Chair of the NEC, a Chi Omega member, Friars member, and saxophonist for the Bloomers band. Jake is a member of Sammy, co-hosts a WQHS radio show (Fridays at 1:00pm!), is on the ICA Student Board, and is in Bell Senior society. Also, he DJs. Luckily, they’ve been balancing all of this since January of freshman year, when they officially started dating. After a fateful first semester hangout in the Morris Bodine Lounge in the Quad and a trip to the Mask and Wig Charity Ball together, the groundwork for a budding spring semester relationship was firmly in place. “Within a week of being back from break we just were like, oh, I guess we’re dating now,” said Allie.

It’s been smooth sailing for them ever since, aided by the fact that they seem to have a shared talent for out-of-the-box gift giving. The list of items they’ve given each other over the past three years includes custom matching socks, a puzzle of their faces, cufflinks featuring the GPS coordinates of where they first met, wrapping paper made of their Snapchats, and a star. Yes, an actual star.

Graduation will take these future consultants to different cities—her to D.C., him to New York—but they’re not too worried about it. And frankly, after this interview, neither is Street.

Located on the corner of Spruce & 23rd for 22 years

A Great Place to Watch the Game!

Philadelphia’s first authentic allwood-fired brick oven pizza

Hand-made daily with the freshest ingredients Gluten-free and soy cheese pizza available!

215-735-7357 Tues - Thurs 4 - 10pm 6

2229 Spruce St.

Fri - Sat 4 - 11pm

Sun 4 - 10pm

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

1511 Locust Street, Phila., PA 19102 1801 JFK Blvd. Phila., PA 19103 www.misconducttavern.com

S E N I O R S U P E R L AT I V E S

SEXIEST MOFO: MICHAEL PEARSON

Hailing from London, Michael Pearson, better known as “Beautiful Man,” has the oh–so desired trifecta: engineering degree, green eyes, and a British accent. This mechanical engineer can be found anywhere but Smokes’ on a Thursday night—he’s probably at Copa for the margaritas. In order to maintain his beauty, the Sexiest Mofo keeps his skin perfect by hiding in engineering buildings and maintains his six–pack bod through a nutritional diet of cereal and Eggo waffles. When he’s not MEAMing, you can find him binge–watching Netflix and not playing rugby anymore because his face is too beautiful to mess up.

MOST LIKELY TO QUIET THEIR OFFICE JOB AND BECOME A FARMER: GENEVA GONDAK

A lifelong lover of all things outdoors, this Environmental Studies major and National Park Service intern certainly wouldn’t last long in a cubicle. Although her family grows tomatoes, blackberries, and raspberries at their sunny Bay Area home, Geneva’s farming dream would be to grow lots of squashes and gourds. She’s a PennQuest leader, Penn Outdoor Adventure employee, and former Outdoors Club treasurer, so suffice it to say that Geneva has the ideal skill set for an outdoor lifestyle. As for the passion? For Halloween sophomore year, she dressed up as a sustainable farm.

We think it was foreshadowing.

CAMPUS SWEETHEART: SAMMY KROUSE

Sammy Krouse’s grandma initially thought that he’d won the Sexiest Mofo superlative, but she's proud of him anyway. This Boca Raton English major brings a hit of bright Florida sunshine to every interaction – a pretty impressive feat, considering how many friends and acquaintances he stops to say hello to on a standard stroll down Locust. As a child, Sammy was so friendly that he’d often annoy strangers by trying too hard to engage them in conversation. Now, the rock climbing Sammy brother (known to some only as “Sammy in Sammy”) can always be counted on for a great conversation and an even better cup of coffee. Our only warning: if you’re hanging out with this easy-going gent, you’d better be prepared for a serious dose of dad jokes.

MOST LIKELY TO BE ON FORBES’ 30 UNDER 30: TIFFANY KIM

If Tiffany Kim ever makes it onto the 30 Under 30 list, we’re honestly not sure if it’ll be for building a crazy successful company, or abandoning it to become a pro surfer on her native LA beaches. Though she's always pining after the West Coast sun of her childhood (seriously, she never stops talking about about California) or running off into the woods as Wharton Leadership Ventures' president, Tiffany has become a Wharton superstar during her time at Penn. In the summer of 2015, Tiffany helped an LA entrepreneur start a customer service assistance company after the pair secured a half–million–dollar investment. When sophomore year rolled around, they'd raised $3 million, but Tiffany eventually left the company to focus on school.

She's been working her way up in the venture capital world ever since, most recently with a summer job at Pillar, a firm in Boston. Her lips are still sealed about next year's plans, but we're willing to bet that this goofy surfer chica will be ruling the West Coast before long. Rumor has it that Goldman calls her "the one that got away"— not that she'd ever be caught dead in finance.

BEST HOUSE: TREEHOUSE

The seven inhabitants of 4033 Walnut Street have been hard at work this semester rallying their supporters to win this superlative, beginning with a kickoff party back in August. Thankfully, the campaign trail is nothing new to Treehouse — the former president of Penn Dems lives here, and the majority of the house has at least canvassed for a liberal candidate before. The Treehouse group came together in November of freshman year, when three PennQuest buddies gathered four other mutual friends for a lease. Since then, Treehouse has been notoriously difficult to move into (just ask the quarter of the senior class they’ve turned away over the years), but you can almost always find a few of their friends milling around in the second–floor living room. If you wanna hang with the six seniors and one second-year masters’ student living there now (Hi, Evan!) at one of their many tree-themed parties, there’s only one thing you need to know: it’s not Alex Kaplan’s birthday.

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

7

S E N I O R S U P E R L AT I V E S

BEST EXES: CHICKEN OVER RICE AND $5

MOST LIKELY TO READ STREET: ALL OF YOU GUYS. YOU PLAYED YOURSELVES. CONGRATZ CLASS OF 2018.

Photo by Jason Lam // CC 2.0

Beyoncé & Jay-Z. Biden & Obama. Chicken over rice & $5.

There are some couples that are just meant to last forever. The sudden conscious uncoupling of chicken over rice & $5 shook the Penn community and the remnants of our belief in love.

While the student body was unable to hide their distress, chicken over rice & $5 handled the break up with grace. Tasteful, unadorned signs silently announced the split, uniform across food carts. Their joint statement offered an unthinkable explanation for their split: finances. Once seemingly untouched by materialistic Penn culture, chicken over rice fell victim to the ways of Joseph Wharton. We expect the econ majors to sellout. We just weren't prepared for this from you, chicken over rice. At least Lyn's is still here for us. Please Lyn, never change. Our hearts and wallets can't handle another price hike.

MOST LIKELY TO MATCH YOU ON THREE DIFFERENT DATING APPS: CAMERON DENNIS

Cam Dennis goes by many names: Joseph (his real first name, don’t let his LinkedIn stump ya), That Guy Who Always Loses His Phone, frat bro, chemical engineer, soccer fan, Twitter obsessive, one–time blonde.

He might be the owner of the cutest dog at Penn (be sure to seek out Duke, the adorably smushable black lab who scurries around the Fiji houses). It’s not surprising that he’s one of the most well–known figures on campus; walk with him down Locust, and he’ll say hi (and/or the word “swag”) to a solid third of the senior class. But he’s also got game. Just message him on Tinder.

CLOSEST FRESHMAN HALL: MONO HALL (4TH FLOOR EF SMITH)

Most veterans of freshman housing will tell you that “hallcest”—the act of hooking up with other members of your hall— is a sin, but this close group of friends says to go for it. Their RA, Jillian, brought them together by encouraging all kinds of hall activities, sometimes going so far as to deliver condoms to their rooms. When one of them succumbed to mononucleosis (but, unfortunately, not monogamy), the “love disease” spread through the hall. Then, a visiting friend contracted it and made out with multiple people at a party, which enabled a few members of the hall to draw a Mono Map. But hey, chicken over rice and $5 never (to our knowledge) made anyone sick.

8

3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

S E N I O R S U P E R L AT I V E S

MOST LIKELY TO ORDER WINE AT SMOKES: OLIVIA FITZPATRICK

This Catholic sweetheart confesses that, while she’s no stranger to the blood of Christ, she’s really more of an IPA girl. However, when asked which wine is her favorite, she said “Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio,” rather than just “white,” which suggests she’s actually classy as hell and probably spends more than $7.99 a bottle. Find Olivia at Smokes’ sporting her signature look of a turtleneck and glasses and dancing to Kweder’s Bob Dylan covers.

MOST LIKELY TO EGOT: MEREDITH BRANDT

Meredith isn’t sure if she’ll pursue a career in performing arts post-grad, but she’s already got “professional actor” on her resume. If you pry (Meredith’s pretty humble), you’ll find out that she’s been on billboards, starred in doughnut commercials, and in middle school she commuted from South Jersey to Manhattan every day to act in a show. She was the director of Bloomers this fall (that’s a sixteen hour weekly commitment, everybody), is involved with the Theater Arts Council, and a member of Chi Omega, Friars Senior Society, Kinoki Senior Society, and Osiris Senior Society. In the most recent Bloomers show, Meredith played Amy G. in a “semi-roast” of our president (who sat in the audience and thought it was hilarious, by the way). Oh, and if you’re wondering how to balance work and passion? Last summer Meredith auditioned for a musical about Cher on her lunch break from working at a tech startup. Remember us when you’re famous, Meredith.

B.Y.O.B. NN CCCC FFFF! 1009 AAAA SSSSSS, 19107 215-592-8288 MOST LIKELY TO WRITE AN INFLAMMATORY FACEBOOK POST: AMANDA SILBERLING

Sure, anyone can post an angry Facebook rant, but Amanda Silberling’s turned it into an art form. When’s the last time your righteous anger got you on TV, or led to reporters knocking knocking at a frat door? Amanda’s the force behind We Are Watching, the feminist art collective that papered flyers across campus with Oz’s misogynistic email and created shirts that say “The Pussy Grabs Back.” But she also expresses herself in other forms: this summer, she made a documentary for VICE about women in punk. She’s a published poet, a music journalist, an avid Pokemon player — but maybe the real work of art is her contributions to your Facebook feed.

bananaleafphilly.com

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E

9

S E N I O R S U P E R A LT I V E S

S E N I O R S U P E R A LT I V E S

MOST LIKELY TO BE IN MOMA: AMANDA PRAGER

MOST LIKELY EGOT (MALE): KAYVON ASEMANI

BEST TASTEFULLY TITILLATING INSTAGRAMMER: HELEN NIE (@HELENQINIE)

Amanda’s interest in the film industry began when her New Jersey hometown held a film festival when she was 15. She said to herself, “I’m gonna win it.”

And she did. Since then, she’s gone on to found Opia (Penn’s filmmaking club); work in all facets of the entertainment industry, from writing to editing to production; and almost prom–pose to Michelle Obama (until she was thwarted by security). And right now, two of her films are in production in LA. They’ll be released early next year. Keep an eye out for them and the many more works sure to come out of this already–adorned filmmaker.

It’s a no–brainer that Penn’s most famous rapper is bound for bigger and better things in his musical career. Kayvon Asemani, known by his stage name, Kayvon, is just getting started as a rapper. From frat gigs freshman year to opening for Waka Flocka at Coda this fall, Kayvon’s success has skyrocketed in the past few years. It’s also a plus that Kayvon is awesome live: his energy is infectious, and he knows how to show a crowd a good time. Plus, who could say no to that killer smile?

If you take one piece of advice from Helen Nie, let it be her Instagram bio: “Well don’t just stand there, do something.” She does things—a lot of things—and she does them well. Instagramming is one of them. Her carefully "curated collection of her experiences” takes the form of 570+ vibrant square photos capturing people and places and inspiration. This Communications major and Graphic Design minor has an eye for the magic touch of photo editing in the native app. Let her ‘grams take you places and open your eyes to the wonderful world around you. Check Helen casually chilling atop a boulder in Norway or chilling on a Croatian beach.

There’s even a photo of her trotting down Locust Walk like the rest of us plebeians.

MOST CHANGED SINCE FRESHMAN YEAR: OLIVIA TAN Olivia may have come to Penn as a quiet neuroscience major who won “Most Likely to Succeed” at her high school, but as a senior, the now–Whartonite’s new superlative should probably be “Most likely to be seen at Smokes.” Freshman Olivia, who stayed in on weekends to study for midterms two weeks in advance, would be shocked to know that senior year Olivia can now be found out just about every day of the week, killing it at Quizzo (her team name is ‘Quiz on Your Face’) on Tuesdays and sipping margs at Distrito every Wednesday before Sink or Swim. This SDT senior still stays true to that neuroscience work ethic she brought with her to Penn.

When she’s not being social, Olivia can be found working in Huntsman 380 while sipping on a mini bottle of Pinot. We like to think her 18–year–old self would be both proud and awed.

You’ve definitely heard of Vadim Ordovsky– Tanaevsky, and no, not just because of his “long and weird and Russian” name. You’ve probably seen the work of his production agency, Nexo Productions. Maybe you’ve been to the Magic Gardens party? That’s the brainchild of this Castle senior. What you might not know about Vadim is that he grew up training as an actor, to which he attributes his penchant for the stage.

These days, he does more work behind the camera: he’s got plenty of film credits under his belt, including producing a short film in Cuba. In any case, while this Philosophy and Mechanical Engineering dual major is proud of all the cool shit he’s accomplished, he still makes sure to sit down, be humble.

1 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

You’d think that Justin has been preparing for this since freshman year, but the Castle senior shrugs and says he has no idea why he was even nominated. But his friends who nominated him clearly know that you can’t always get what you want, but sometimes you might get what you need. They gave him the superlative he didn’t know he needed. Street hopes he makes the most of it.

MOST LIKELY TO BE A PENN PROFESSOR: GABE SOLOMON

Over drinks, Gabe would confess to you that he has an “interesting academic background.” As a Mathematics major and Psychology minor, Gabe has flexed both his quantitative and qualitative muscles during his time at Penn. “I enjoy learning for the sake of learning,” Gabe announces. He demonstrates his mathematical prowess when he attributes his win to “random chance,” citing that “the laws of probability dictated that someone had to win.” All in all, Gabe welcomes this superlative victory, even though he’s undecided if it’s cool or “kind of dweeby.”

Like most good professors, it’s probably a bit of both.

BEST HUMBLEBRAGGER: VADIM ORDOVSKY-TANAEVSKY

MOST LIKELY TO WANT A SUPERLATIVE: JUSTIN HOPKINS

BEST DRESSED: KARIS STEPHEN

MOST LIKELY TO WEAR GREEK LETTERS AFTER GRADUATION: CAROLINE OHLSON

Caroline Ohlson may literally embody “Chi-O till I die-o” because this Chi Omega sister and Panhellenic President won’t retire her Greek letters anytime soon. Caroline estimates she’s already passed down 50 or 60 pieces of sorority gear down to her lineage, but a few select favorites will travel with her to Los Angeles after graduation. Unlike most people involved in Greek life at Penn, Caroline has not one, but three Greek outlets to nab merch from. If she isn’t wearing the classic maroon Chi O crewneck, you can expect to see her sporting her black Order of Omega sweatshirt, or maybe the green Panhellenic exec hoodie. In addition to being an active member of Chi Omega, Caroline is also the President of Panhellenic Council and serves on Order of Omega, the Greek leadership society. With so many organizations to choose from, Caroline is a walking Greek alphabet soup of affiliation. Expect to see her wearing a vintage Chi O hat and joggers combo—her favorite pieces of sorority regalia—at the reunion.

Despite her double–major in English and Cinema Studies, this Texas native has time to plan outfits. And it’s downright astonishing that she juggles looking fabulous with sitting on Panhel exec, being in Friars and Osiris, and singing in Counterparts. Oh, and did we mention she’s also in a band? She and her boyfriend Blue Brookhard (C ’17) sing together in a project called “Eleven.” Karis’ go–to outfit consists of “something high–waisted”—lately she’s been experimenting with culottes. She’s often spotted in a bomber jacket, likely patterned. This fashionista doesn’t dress in the Penn uniform of all–black. You won’t catch Karis strutting down Locust in heels. She’s more of a sneakers girl. Plus, sneakers give her a vehicle for her signature article of clothing, patterned socks: the weirder the better. Her favorite pair is blue with hedgehogs and strawberries. Her fashion icon? Rihanna, of course. “She does no wrong.”

CUTEST COUPLE THAT NEVER WAS: ANYA NEUHAUS AND JUSTIN HABER

These would–be lovebirds met freshman year during NSO, where Justin taught Anya how to play beer pong.

Since then, she’s surpassed his pong skills (he disagrees), and they’ve extended their friendship outside of a sweaty frat basement. Justin describes their friendship as “almost entirely based on beer pong, Disney movies, and tagging each other in multiple dog videos a day on Instagram.”

Anya’s favorite thing about Justin is his wide variety of snacks—”half the time it’s his mom’s Jewish cooking, which is nice. The brisket? Excellent.” Haber, however, is more inclined to favor Anya’s wardrobe—but that might just be because it’s mostly made up of his clothing. And, of course, they enjoy a good meal together. “We eat a ton of Jimmy John’s,” says Justin, “naturally.”

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 1

VICE & VIRTUE

EGOOF THE WEEK: CHRIS LUCIANO

HALEY WEISS

The track captain talks last–minute minors, the one time he went hiking, and why running is for crazy people.

Chris Luciano: It’s definitely tough. In high school you can kind of get away with doing tons of sports and school, just because it’s easier. But when you get to college, a lot of it become a function of time. If you have more time to study for something or more time to do something, it’s probably going to be correlated with how well you’re going to do, and that natural intelligence you could use to get by in high school isn’t there anymore. So I think in that aspect it can be a little rough for people.

Street: Has being a college athThere’s obviously just a lot lete been what you expected? of talk about mental health.

Sometimes there are just these HOMETOWN: Mountain Lakes, New Jersey pressures that are put on peoMAJOR: Econ, minors in Consumer Psychology and History ple to always be the best and CLUBS: Track & Cross Country Captain, Student Athlete compete, and it’s very simiAdvisory Council (SAAC) lar in athletics. When you FRESHMAN DORM ROOM: Second Floor, Butcher Colhave people expecting you to lege House compete in the classroom and The Men’s Cross Country team took a hit last week at Ivy League Championships, but they’re gearing up to go again soon at NCAA’s. At the front of the pack is captain Chris Luciano, an energetic Econ major with a heart of gold and a passion for chocolate milk.

Despite being a relative latecomer to the sport, Chris took off in high school as a natural distance runner. Four years later, he’s here to tell Street about his time as a student athlete at Penn.

Authentic and Classic Italian foods served with only top-shelf ingredients

Sun - Thurs Special: 2 Course Meal for $23.95* Party of 12 and up Cash Only

do your best and compete in athletics and do your best, it can be very overwhelming.

But it’s been super rewarding.

I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I wasn’t an athlete, if I now had all this time on my hands. I guess I’d probably put some more time into studying, but I think I’d find myself getting bored. I feel like I always need to be doing something.

people who really always needs something to work towards, and I don’t have any major classes left—all I have to do is one of the college requirements. So I was like, “God, what am I going to take next semester?” I’d feel bad taking random classes that I’m just not interested in. So it’s going to be four history classes, with one of them counting for the last sector I need. It’s doable, it’s just going to be a very difStreet: Well, it works! You ferent type of semester. guys won the Ivy League Championships last year.

Street: What’s your running CL: Yeah! First time in 43 life going to look like after you years. graduate?

CL: I’m probably going to Street: And yet you some- take some time off, then run a how found the time to add an- half–marathon, you know, just other minor this week. to make it more fun. And then CL: Yeah! I just added a His- next thing you know you’re a tory minor. I took the Third full-blow addict again.

Reich with Tom Childers sophomore year, and then I took this other history class Street: What’s something I that counted for something forgot to ask you? but ended up being really inCL: My number. teresting. I’m one of those

LIGHTNING ROUND THE LAST TAB I CLOSED ON MY COMPUTER WAS... "Youtube. I was probably watching car videos."

THE COOLEST CLASS I’VE TAKEN AT PENN WAS... "Third Reich, it’s basically the rise and fall of Nazi Germany. Thomas Childers just objectively the best and most versed WWII and Nazi Germany professor."

BYOB friendly! lafontanadellacita.com | 1701 Spruce Street | 215-875-9990

MY FAVORITE POST-WORKOUT SNACK IS...

"Chocolate milk. But the key is that you can’t just have one glass of chocolate milk, you have to drink enough of it until you feel sick."

CROSS-COUNTRY OR TRACK? "Cross Country."

THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE AT PENN... "People who drink black coffee, and people who like coffee–flavored things."

* not including tax and tip 1 2 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

VICE & VIRTUE

HOW TO NOT GET CUFFED: A GUIDE As the great poet Fabolous once said, “Been naughty all year trying to end it nicely / Summer [girls] turning into winter wifeys." ISABELLA FERTEL

And so it goes: as the days grow colder and joggers go from hangover–chic to wardrobe staple, people who are usually content—nay, fulfilled—with single life suddenly feel the unmistakable and somewhat inexplicable urge to be in a relationship.

So, if more–than–casual hookups are your thing, great. You finally have an excuse to triple text that babe you hooked up with all Halloweekend. After all, they’ve probably been thinking of you all this time too. They just didn’t want to look clingy.

But for the rest of us who still reel at the mere thought of going to a non–boozy brunch on Sunday morning (because why else would you ever turn two meals into one), cuffing season can feel like a four–month–long Thanksgiving dinner of elderly relatives bombarding you with the dreaded, “So, are you seeing anyone yet?” and even worse, “Well, why not?”

As someone who is something of an expert on not being cuffed (i.e. hasn’t had a significant other since my boyfriend in ninth grade called me emotionally unavailable for forgetting our two–month anniversary) here are some tips to keep you on the market.

vagabondboutique.com 37vagabondboutique.com N. 3rd St. Philadelpha, PA 37 N. 3rd St.

1. Remind all hookups that you have a really important meeting/ interview/work in the morning: But no, really, I really need to be up early in the morning so we can’t talk about how awesome your cat is or how profoundly your life has been changed by the latest New Yorker article you read on Facebook. Otherwise I’d definitely be interested.

Philadelphia, PA

2. Become an Event Observer: $35 an hour, a snappy vest to protect you from rowdy freshman/the possibility of looking remotely attractive, and set plans every Thursday through Saturday night? Count me in.

3. Abstain from wearing any club apparel: Locust stop–and–chats are a surefire way to not only be charming but actually leave an impression on everyone you talked to for all of 30 seconds. Leave no trace behind. Do you even go to Penn? Where will they find you on campus?

4. Respect the art of the booty call: In the words of the legen—wait for it—dary Barney Stinson, the same rules apply to booty calls as they do to gremlins. Do not feed them after midnight and keep them away from sunlight (see rule #1) or you’ll be stuck with them all of cuffing season.

T

20 SOUTH 36TH ST. PHILADELPHIA, PA 19104 ONLINE ORDERING AVAILABLE!

H RY NIG E V E , T H ATE NIG L N E P O RY DELIVE R O F L CAL -2199 2 8 3 5 21 M ZZA.CO AXISPI

5. Ghost everything: Why stop at hookups, booty calls, and whoever you shouldn't have given your number to at 3 a.m.? Block anyone who even remotely looks like they would want to "get coffee sometime." Repeat after me: ghosts are your friends.

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 3

FILM & TV

Photo: Netflix

BIG MOUTH:

REVISITING OUR SCARRING MIDDLE SCHOOL YEARS

Puberty is hard, man.

Middle school is awkward. No matter how much distance we get from those three long years, your mind can always resurface memories that involuntarily make you cringe on your own behalf.

Big Mouth, now streaming on Netflix, offers a 22–minute portal back into that embarrassing,

embarrassing world; except this time, all your friends are voiced by famous comedians. Creator Nick Kroll brings along his cabal of hilarious friends (Jenny Slate, Fred Armisen, Kristen Wiig, Jordan Peele—the list keeps going) to voice the bizarre characters that inhabit the Westchester suburb

where our protagonists face the trials and tribulations of junior high.

Big Mouth does a remarkable job of mentally transporting you back to that time when eighth graders were a gangly, intimidating, alien species and finding a date for homecoming was an

Day of the Dead Specials

Wednesday, November 1st

Patron Cocktails $15 Mexican City Wide $5 Exotico Margaritas $10 Patron XO Shot Special $8 Crystal Head Vodka Shots $10 in keepsake skull shot glasses

And a professional face painter!

4000 Spruce Street (215) 382-1330 • copabanana.com 1 4 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

apocalyptic task. The show hones in on four kids: Andrew, Nick, Jessi, and Jay as they navigate the complex world of hormones unfolding before them. It’s refreshing to see an adult cartoon with a narrative, and characters that are fleshed out beyond one–dimensional tropes. The four main characters, though embarrassing themselves at every turn, are taken seriously, and their struggles form legitimate dramatic story arcs. While it’s funny to watch these kids panic about their first kiss when we have the hindsight to know just how much they’re overreacting, the show treats their anxieties as genuine issues.

The real pops of trademark Kroll humor come through side characters like the flamboyant, khaki–sporting Matthew (Andrew Rannells), the nerdy daughter of two professors, Missy (Jenny Slate), and the most popular girl in school’s manically devoted sidekick, Lola (voiced by Nick Kroll, in a voice nearly identical to another one of his characters, Liz, from his oh–so–iconic set of "PubLIZity" skits). Big Mouth shines in moments with these bit parts that cut through the broad subject matter and deliver some of the sharpest humor on TV right now.

This series does occasionally fall into the classic animated adult

series trap of excessive vulgarity and anatomical humor. This is a series about puberty, after all, and with animation you can get away with showing a lot more than you could in live action. These gross–out moments pepper each episode and can feel discordant with the wittier, nuanced humor that serves as the series' backbone.

Luckily, the crass moments that steered me away were greatly outnumbered by the clever moments that kept me hooked.

Maybe your first date wasn’t disastrous. Maybe you didn’t get your first period while wearing white shorts and walking up the steps of the Statue of Liberty.

Maybe you didn’t have an anthropomorphic "hormone monster" voiced by Nick Kroll or Maya Rudolph following you around.

But absolutely everyone can latch on to some facet of this show that speaks to their adolescent experience. Furthermore, this show can serve as a legitimate teaching tool for this generation’s budding tweens. Puberty leaves no person unscathed. And while you might never quite get over that awkward first dance with parent chaperones watching you intently, Big Mouth offers a forum for us to collectively exhale and laugh about it all.

DALTON DESTEFANO

FILM & TV

WHY WE DESERVED Photo: Pixabay Those of you who loved the show or movie(s) Sex and the City probably found your newsfeed spammed over the past few weeks with the drama surrounding the potential of a third Sex and the City movie. From the possibility of replacing Kim Cattrall as Samantha to the unearthed drama between the four actresses, these articles were disappointing. The most heartbreaking report of all, however, was the conclusion that there will not be a third Sex and the City movie.

The TV show premiered in 1998 and lasted until 2004, spanning a total of 94 episodes.

The show was followed by two films in 2008 and 2010, and then a prequel series by The CW, The Carrie Diaries. For those who have not seen the show, it’s set and filmed in New York City and follows the lives of four women: Carrie, the protagonist and a columnist, Samantha, the head of a successful public relations agency, Miranda, a partner at a law firm, and Charlotte, the manager of an art gallery. Carrie’s column, “Sex and the City," encapsulates the questions and challenges she and her friends experience as women at the turn of the century.

The show Sex and the City succeeded in many different capacities: it won seven of its 54 Emmy Award nominations, eight of its 24 Golden Globe Award nominations, and three of its 11 Screen Actors Guild Award nominations. It was placed #5 on Entertainment Weekly’s “New TV Classics” list, and one of Time magazine’s 100 Best TV Shows of All–TIME. More importantly,

however, the show’s exploration and confrontation of stigmatized and repressed topics like the female orgasm, gender career inequity, and societal pressures regarding marriage, to name a few, revolutionized women’s place in film and TV, in addition to sparking conversations between women in real life.

Sex and the City confronts issues that were, and unfortunately still are, not discussed. The season pilot follows the women as they decide to “have sex like men." The episode “The Baby Shower” highlights the pressure the women feel to follow a conventional path of marriage and children, and each woman's reaction represents how different women feel this pressure differently. “The Drought” deals with how women feel like they have to be perfect, both in bed and outside of it. In “They Shoot Single People, Don’t They?” Carrie questions how much women fake interest, orgasms, and more to remain in a relationship with a man. “Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda” confronts the controversy over getting an abortion.

Sex and the City is the first platform in which many of these questions and issues were discussed; it was revolutionary for the late 20th and early 21st century. The show has provided women—although a limited population of women—a language with which to talk about their own experiences. It's a damn shame we didn't get that third film.

SEX AND THE CITY 3 A (Mr.) Big Loss

Palmer Properties www.PalmerProperties.net

41st & Pine 42nd & Spruce

Available for June Lease 8-9 Bedroom Houses From $790/person + utilities

Now Leasing!

• Large living rooms • Modern kitchens & bath

Flexible Leasing • Single and Double Rooms • • Private Backyard • Lots of Storage Individual Leases • All Amenities and Utilities Included • Washer & Dryer • 3+ bathrooms Contact us today to get on the house waiting list

Call

215.662.0802 Email 610-941-7013 | JP@PalmerProperties.net AxisLeasing@AltmanCo.com

Stop in

NOW LEASING

20 South 36th Street

Now Leasing!

ThetoAxis on 36th Street Today learn how to make The AxisUniversity your home away City Call from home!

Furnished Rooms • Flexible Leases 215.662.0802 Email• Utilities and Great Amenities AxisLeasing@AltmanCo.com Housekeeping included

Flexible Leasing • Single and Double Rooms • Individual Leases • All Amenities and Utilities Included

Stop in

South 36th (9am Street – 5pm) Monday20 – Saturday 215.662.0802 Today to learn how to make www.universitycityaxis.com The Axis your home away 20 S. 36th Street Philadelphia PA 19104 from home!

DALTON DESTEFANO

BROOKIE MCILVAINE N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 5

FINDING COMFORT IN ART ARTS

Art Therapy offers solace to those suffering from stress and mental illness.

Photo: Public Domain // CC.0

As young children, many of us calmed ourselves by drawing in coloring books or finger painting. The familiar process of working with one's hands to create something

beautiful has therapeutic potential for both children and adults. Enter the world of art therapy: the use of drawing, sculpting, or painting to address trauma, reconcile emo-

tional conflicts, reduce anxiety, and build self esteem.

Art therapy can take place in a one–on–one or group setting, and it's often included in the treatment plans of

serving

Philadelphia

for over

25

years 4004 Chestnut Street • (215) 386-1941 • NewDelhiWeb.com

All You Can Eat Buffet Welcome all day - Every Day!

Student Discounts CLASS OFAvailable with Valid I.D. Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp.

Welcome 2016

For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 Closed Mondays Order online for Pick-up or delivery

CLASS OF

Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp. 1 6 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

Buffet • Drinks SPECIALS • TAKE-OUT

Exp.2/23/12 4/11/12 Exp.

For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941 For Fast Delivery Call 215-386-1941

hospitals, wellness centers, nursing homes, and schools.

This kind of therapy works best for individuals who have suffered trauma, have a health disability, or suffer from mental illness. Certified art therapy practitioners must have a master's degree in cognitive therapy and be members of the American Art Therapy Association (AATA).

While this type of therapy is practiced all over the world, there are a few practices right on Penn’s campus.

The Abramson Cancer Center incorporates a form of art therapy into its post–chemo therapeutical practices.

As part of a larger program of wellness education, the therapy helps patients and caregivers manage cancer–related pain and anxiety. This kind of therapy is also included in the Perelman Center’s wider cognitive therapy practice for treating chronic mood disorders.

In addition to serving Penn medical patients, art therapy has a high rate of use among Penn undergrads as well. On November 17, from 6–8 p.m., CAPS and Alpha Delta Phi, a service fraternity, will be hosting an art therapy and stress management event for freshmen, held at CAPS. Perhaps the most interesting application of art therapy is through CAPS's Eating Concerns Art Therapy Program. This group therapy program is aimed at students suffering from bulimia, anorexia, or Binge Eating Disorder and in active recovery.

Creative therapies are useful for this subset of disorders as they aid in the recovery of self esteem and promote self care. Furthermore, they stress finding meaning in the creative process instead of striving for perfection.

MICHAELA TINKEY

ARTS

ANNENBERG PRESENTS "SLEEP," A MURAKAMI– INSPIRED PLAY What 17 days without sleep can do to you

“At night, while everyone else is sleeping, I’m awake.”

This is the tale of the performance, Sleep. On October 27, the Annenberg Center presented the world premiere of Sleep. Inspired by best–selling writer Haruki Murakami’s short story of the same title, it is the story of an unlikely heroine, one who has not slept for 17 days.

The show starts on the 17th day. Center stage, the woman paces around her room, walled in by pitch black curtains.

Trembling, she walks forward, turns the corner, collapses on the chair, and gets back up. Then she walks forward, turns the corner, collapses on the chair, and gets back up.

Again and again and again.

All the while, she repeats, “I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep.”

The woman then catapults the audience to the night this all started. She had a dream, a terrifying dream. In this dream, a shadow looms above and pours water over her. This simple act leads to one conclusion: a part of her has died.

So she continues each day, awake but never really awake.

Each morning, her husband wakes up, eats the breakfast

she has prepared, and drives their son to school. As for her, she drives to the market, goes grocery shopping, makes lunch, does the laundry, makes dinner, and then goes to bed.

It’s the same routine each day, a routine separated only by sleep.

To the woman, life is consists two rules: “You push this button and pull that lever.” Before long, it is clear that sleep is only a reminder that there is no difference between today and tomorrow.

But perhaps without sleep, that cycle will break. And so it does. Her patterns of behavior begin to change. She drinks brandy, something which she has long stopped since becoming a housewife and mother.

She eats chocolate, something her dentist husband absolutely detests. She goes swimming, each time trying to cleanse herself out this existence.

She reads Anna Karenina, a story she once loved but has since never felt as if she had the time to read. The story mirrors her own life, or at least her ideal life: Anna is married and has a son, whom she stays with. But once she meets another man, she finds the courage to break free of the oppressive force of social norm.

Photo: Wikimedia Commons// CC 3.0

Though the ending of Sleep is left open–ended, at least the woman has found what had died that fateful night: her own oppression.

Sleep is a beautifully performed commentary on the banality of life and its eternal

repetition. In each scene, performers stand behind, in front of, and across from the main heroine, mirroring her psychological state. As her inner conflict comes into full view, her mirror–self thrashes on the floor. As she realizes the cause

of the death inside her, her mirror–self flails and reaches for something that is never quite reachable. Once again, the entire show is a reflection of the genius of Murakami’s surrealism and magical realism.

SHERRY TSENG

Architecture Landscape Architecture City and Regional Planning Historic Preservation Urban Spatial Analytics Fine Arts

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING Fall Open House for Graduate Programs Monday, November 13 www.design.upenn.edu/oh2

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 17

LOWBROW

PENN FALL CALENDAR JUST PRETTY PICTURES OF PEOPLE AVOIDING EYE CONTACT ON LOCUST Leaves! Trees! Looking down at your phone!

CAMI POTTER

In an email late last week, the Office of University Communications announced the release of their latest University Photo Calendar. The calendar, to be distributed for free to all undergraduate students, will feature 12 stunning photos of different angles of Locust Walk, largely dominated by pictures of students who are uninterestedly looking at their phones as they walk by.

At first, calendar photographer Jane Morris (C ’20) tried to capture students in conversation, but quickly realized that 99.9% of her photos were of students staring blankly at phones trying to avoid eye contact.

“Honestly, it was kind of stunning. I took

18,000 photos over a five month period, and somehow, in literally every single photo, every person in the frame is clearly looking down at their phone to avoid speaking to someone,” she added.

The calendar ranges from January, featuring the freshman boy pretending to text his mom in order to avoid taking a flyer from an a cappella group, to June, showing a senior girl appearing to text her best friend to avoid making eye contact with her sophomore year DFMO. The calendar concludes with December, featuring a couple holding hands while pretending to text each other so as to not have to buy something at a bake sale.

“We are tremendously excited about this latest project, and know it will brighten up the office nooks and message boards of departments across campus,” said Communications Director Tom Sanchez.

When asked about the prevalence of uninterested, phone–obsessed college students across all images of the calendar, Sanchez commented, “I literally don’t know what to do about that. It is physically impossible to capture an image on Locust Walk where this is not occurring. Please leave me alone. Also, check out the Penn Instagram!”

$9.99 FAJITAS - THURSDAYS 5PM - 10PM 10 PM to 1 AM

40th & Spruce St., University city • 215-382-1330 • copauc.com 1 8 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017

Photo: Julia Sosa

LOWBROW

FRESHMAN BRAVE ENOUGH TO BE ALONE AT ANY POINT IN TIME

Where's her medal of honor?

CLAIRE SCHMIDT

In an unprecedented move, this past Monday, Sydney Wilkins (W ‘21) spent an entire hour–long period by herself. Unaccompanied by any other freshmen for a full 60 minutes, Wilkins managed to make it through the entire period without crying, being embarrassed, or spontaneously combusting.

Eyewitness accounts reported that Wilkins entered Hill College House by herself and swiped into the dining hall, not even using headphones to make it seem like she was listening to a podcast.

“I saw her go get food all by herself. She wasn’t listening to music or pretending to text anyone. She was just...standing there, waiting for her grilled chicken with veggies,” said a College freshman who asked to remain anonymous. “I...truly couldn’t believe it. I asked her if she was okay, and she just sort of nodded. I mean, who does that?” he added.

Security camera footage tracked Wilkins throughout the remainder of the hour as she ate her dinner in peaceful silence, packed up her bag, and left for a club meeting.

Security guards recounted the harrowing experience of watching her eat unattended.

“I mean, I’m an adult, so I eat alone all the time, but Lord, I was terrified for this girl. A freshman? Having the confidence to be alone? What if she saw her hall there? Or a bunch of scary athletes? Or that mean girl Anna? I just wanted to put some strangers on either side of her to give her a buffer. So scary,” said security guard Jason Stanley.

Street has reached out to Wilkins for further comment.

ramen bar ラーメン ラ メン

バ バー

PENN 4040 Locust Street | 215-243-9999 DREXEL 3438-48 Lancaster Ave | 215-921-5804 ramenbarphilly.com

LUNCH Mon – Fri: 11:30am – 3:00pm Sat – Sun: 12:00pm – 3:00pm BAR

11:30am – 10:00pm

DINNER Mon – Sat: 4:30pm – 10:00pm Sun: 4:30pm – 9:00pm

HAPPY HOUR Mon – Fri: 4:30pm – 6:30pm Sat – Sun: 9:00pm – 11:00pm (drink specials only) $4 Appetizers (excluding certain dishes) $4 Drafts & Well Drinks $5 Wines & Sake Bombs $6 Specialty Cocktails $1 off all other alcoholic drinks

LOWBROW IS FAKER THAN YOUR SVEDKA-SLURRED "OH MY GOD, HIIIIIIIII" TO ALL THE ALUMNI YOU'LL QUITE LITERALLY BUMP INTO THIS WEEKEND. BRACE YOURSELVES #HOMECUMMIN'

Mon- Fri: 10:30 - 9 PM Sat: 10:30 - 8 PM Sun: 12 - 5 PM

2037 Walnut St Philadelphia, PA 19103 (215) 561-1071 wonderlandphilly.com

N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E 1 9

university square

celebrate homecoming JUST STEPS AWAY IN UNIVERSITY SQUARE! ADOLF BIECKER STUDIO • ANN TAYLOR LOFT • AT&T • BLUEMERCURY • BEIJING RESTAURANT • BEN AND JERRY’S • bernie’s • BLARNEY STONE • BONDED CLEANERS • BRYSI • CAMPUS HAIR, SKIN & NAIL SALON • CAVANAUGH’S TAVERN • CINEMARK THEATER • CITIZENS BANK • COMPUTER CONNECTION • COSI • CVS • DUNKIN DONUTS • EYEGLASS ENCOUNTERS • FEDERAL DONUTS • GREEK LADY • HELLO WORLD • HIP CITY VEG • HONEYGROW • HOUSE OF OUR OWN • INN AT PENN • JOSEPH ANTHONY HAIR SALON • KITCHEN GIA • KIWI YOGURT • LAST WORD BOOKSTORE • MODERN EYE • METROPOLITAN BAKERY • NATURAL SHOE • NEW DECK TAVERN • O’CHATTO • PENN BOOK CENTER • PENN BOOKSTORE • PHILADELPHIA RUNNER • PHILLY PRETZEL FACTORY /PHILLY IS NUTS! • PIPER BOUTIQUE • POD RESTAURANT • QDOBA • SAXBY’S COFFEE • SMOKEY JOE’S • TD BANK • UNITED BY BLUE • URBAN OUTFITTERS • U.S. POST OFFICE • UPS STORE • VERIZON • WAWA

shopping

dining

services

FOR A COMPLETE LIST OF RETAILERS, VISIT bit.ly/upennretail 2 0 3 4 T H S T R E E T M A G A Z I N E N O V E M B E R 1 , 2 017