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Conscious Life Magazine


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ABOUT US www.childoftheuniverse.co.za

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DISTRIBUTION & RESEARCH Lee Coulter WRITER Dani Jardim dani@childoftheuniverse.co.za PHOTOGRAPHER Edward Jardim CONTACT NUMBERS TEL: (011) 462-2900 0110 262 643 0110 468 737

DISCLAIMER The views expressed in this publication are those of the authors and not necessarily those of the editor, advertisers or endorsers. While every effort has been made to ensure that the contents of this publication are both accurate and truthful, the publisher and editor accept no responsibility for inaccurate or misleading information that may be contained herein.

Much Love

Linda


contents BABIES & BEYOND 8 Lessons learned in the Mirror 11 Consciousness of Pre-Natal & New-Born Babies

STORY & PLAY TIME 16 19 24 26

Host a stuffed animal sleepover Finding the balance between school work and sports activities Raising Kids Positively The Magic Mat

EDUCATION & STUDY TIME 30 36 37 40

Beat Exam Stress When Education Isn’t Enough Kinesthetic Learning Activities Growth Mindset for Students – video

PEACEFUL PARENTING 42 46 48 50

Raising Socially Responsible Girls Discipline without Punishment The reasons why Children Fidget Why is my Child so Angry?

YUMMY TUMMY 54 Cooking with Kids 56 Yummy recipes for the whole family

ANIMAL-LOVE 61 Herb Nutrition for your Pets 63 The Therapeutic Benefits of Horse Riding


Lessons learned in the Mirror Dahlia Elizabeth admiring her reflection

by Lindsay Curtis

Ever notice how babies (and toddlers…and some adults) just love looking at their reflection in the mirror? Aside from it being super cute to watch as babies coo at themselves, looking into the mirror helps with their development and eventually they discover that the reflection they’ve been looking at & kissing all of this time is themselves. In adulthood, relationships act as the mirror as we learn about ourselves. It’s pretty well accepted that our most important lessons come through our relationships with others. In the article Relationships as Spiritual Mirrors, I wrote: every person you meet, every situation you encounter – offers you a mirror to see your own reflection on a soul level. This particularly applies to romantic and familial relationships, but coworkers, clients and friends mirror us and teach us lessons as well. Sometimes when we’re in the thick of the pain or having a rough time in a relationship, it’s hard to remember that we have something important to learn in the experience. It’s only later, upon reflecting on the situation, that we realize it was something we needed to learn. Bonus points if we have learned our lesson and don’t have to repeat it.

We may be either on the giving or receiving end of these experiences, and there will be a lesson offered both ways. We haven’t fully learned our lesson until we can see how we helped to arrange matters. In other words, what did we do to set it up? This isn’t a matter of blame. Really, it’s not! But think about it next time: what part of your soul is being reflected back to you in this scenario?


I’ve come to realize that in relationships, we are so accustomed to a sort of cause and effect conditioning, like “You yelled at me first!”, that the concept of us giving the other person involved the proverbial bat and pointing to our own head is a difficult pill to swallow. But, when you know that most everything that happens to you is drawn through the power of your own thought (whether it’s conscious or subconscious), then there’s no turning back, and there’s no more playing the role of the “poor me” victim. Well, you certainly can continue that, but it’ll feel less authentic. We don’t have to hold onto the pain we’ve lived through to prove that it existed. We don’t need to keep coming up with evidence of the “wrongness” of the other person involved. We can – and should – take responsibility for our part of the lesson and move on. This is part of what makes us human. If you go through some relationship bumps in the road, think of it as an opportunity to learn some karmic relationship lessons and to help you grow on a soul level. It won’t take away the pain, but it can help shed some light into the why.

Do you believe people are a reflection of who we are? Do you think we manifest the relationships and situations that come into our lives?

My name's Lindsay. I'm a spiritual intuitive, empath and Reiki practitioner. Armed with intuition and a desire to help others grow, I write the articles on The Daily Awe to do just that.


Consciousness of Pre-Natal and New-Born Babies

By Linda Clarke

Most of us, at the moment of conception, come into being with the potential for relaxed joyfulness and aliveness. We come with certain genetic predispositions towards developing in certain ways, given activation of those predispositions from outside. If the pregnancy was smooth, we are born with that wholeness still relatively intact. For many of us, however, that potential has already been considerably diminished before we are even born. This is due to parents and caregivers not acknowledging the consciousness of pre-natal and newborn babies. Until just a few decades ago doctors and psychologists did not understand the prenatal or the new-born and their focus was only on physical survival which created a society of people who do not trust, are scared and violent with increasing suicide rates and addictions in children and young people.

The things that the mother is doing, feeling, thinking Yoga is part of the baby's environment. Technology can show us that a baby will move after the Mother has laughed. We can ask ourselves then what affect it has on the baby when the parents are fighting, when there is grief, separation, fear or death. Babies are in tune with their environment. Joseph Chilton-Pearce, Author, says that the Mother's emotions determine the shape, nature and character of the brain structure of the infant. All mammals follow the same pattern. If the Mother experiences continued high stress the infant has a different brain structure - the reptilian brain is larger whilst the intellectual creative logical brain is much reduced. Nature is saying 'can we go for more intelligence or do we have to defend ourselves'? Our experiences in the womb and birth can affect relationships in adult life. Unconsciously we remember our birth and time in the womb. If there was an emergency which separates baby and mother the baby will act out that fear of death and disconnection into adulthood.


The medical world does not always validate the spiritual and emotional life of Mother and child and until quite recently focused only on the physical and they ignored the emotional and spiritual. It starts with what is happening in the womb and how we are birthing our children. We need to pay attention to pregnancy, birth and the first 7 years of a child's life. The more women are supported and given unconditional love by a society the more her infant can be born fully human. The baby, both before and after birth is far more sophisticated than we gave it credit for before. We didn't think it could have an experience or think it could sense anything. We didn't think it had a brain to sense what it is feeling. What scientists now know is that babies have a working mind which is part of their human consciousness. It is not something that develops in stages like the brain develops in stages, the mind is a part of who they are; this is a whole new idea. What the pre-natal and new-born needs in order to develop is love, acceptance, respect and acknowledgement as a human being right from the start. In some cultures such as Tibetan there are rituals and traditions to prepare a woman for conceiving to sort out their own mess so that it isn't transferred onto the baby. A West African lady called Sobonfu Some (meaning Keeper of the Rituals) left West Africa two decades ago to teach parents how to embrace and support the new life coming. These babies 'know' that they are coming to an ok place. The baby feels safe knowing that there are arms waiting to hold them when they come into the world.

Studies have shown that we recall what happened pre-natally and what is recalled goes way beyond what the brain supports us to remember. Experiments have shown that babies can interact and have consciousness before birth. New advances in neuro-psychology have shown that imprints of our first experiences set up our belief systems and behaviour patterns into our adult life. We track our experiences right from conception. We remember not with our mind such as I remember when but rather the memory is felt in the body young children are observed demonstrating movement patterns reminiscent of the imprinting that occurred at birth we remember with our body. When we understand that the baby is conscious then every way we are with our baby changes both pre-natally and in the first weeks and months after birth. The time in the womb is a time to bond with the baby, it gives the couple time to evolve as a family and for the physical, emotional development of the baby.


Birth is an intense experience not only for the Mother but also for the baby. The womb is dimly lit, the sounds are muffled therefore when the baby emerges into the world the transition needs to be as gentle as possible. Immediately after birth and for the first few weeks of life the baby is hyper-sensitive and needs time to adjust to the outside world. The baby can be helped to adjust and to feel safe if parents and caregivers are mindful of this. Newborns have a much slower rate of integrating what is happening to them than adults do; It takes them about 6 times longer. There are some cultures that have a tradition of staying around the house in dim light for 30 days bringing the child slowly and willingly into the outside world. This gives them a sense of safety and security. It is imperative that couples educate themselves by reading books such as The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer, and HypnoBirthing by Marie Mongan or attending classes to learn hypnosis techniques to ensure that they are doing everything they can to create a safe environment for their child before, during and after birth. Please click on this link to my website for further information about hypnosis for pregnancy and birth. http://www.lindaclarke.co.za/naturallyborn-natural-childbirth-preparation-classes/

Linda Clarke Master Hypnotist, Life Coach and NLP Practitioner. Linda has been practicing for many years and is committed to helping people overcome their challenges with a wide variety of tools at her disposal. Her case studies and testimonials illustrate how successful she has been in helping her clients.


How to Host a Stuffed Animal Sleepover Stuffed animal sleepovers are one of the latest trends taking place in bookstores and libraries to encourage young children to read. The events combine creative play, story telling, and a love of books into a magical experience! Hosting a stuffed animal sleepover is simple and inexpensive to do. The best part is that a recent study led by researcher Yoshihiro Okazaki suggests that stuffed animal sleepover events may increase reader interest. These events, which are often filled with magic and wonder, may help encourage kids to pick up a book and read on their own! Here are a few helpful tips on how to host a stuffed animal sleepover:

How it Works: Parents and their kids visit the bookstore for a quick craft activity and a special story time with one of their favorite stuffed animal friends. Once the story time is finished, the kids leave their stuffed animals behind at the bookstore to enjoy a fun sleepover! The stuffed animals are then photographed having all sorts of fun while on their overnight adventure, and the photos are uploaded to the bookstore’s Instagram account or Facebook page. The next morning, when the kids arrive to pick up their stuffed animals, they can view all the magical photos of their friends at the bookstore! The stuffed animals may be photographed doing lots of fun activities like making crafts!

Perhaps, they will make new friends? They may also decide to play some games!


5 Useful Tips On How To Help Your Kids Balance School and Sports

Everyone agrees that having a healthy and well-rounded life is necessary for our children. This means making time for school, social activities, and sports. Each of these areas is important to nurture your child. But, how can you find the time for all of these things? Looking for leaks There are a lot of things in your life and the lives of your children that drain our precious time. As the parent, you have to take a hard look into the future.

Start with looking into the month ahead: • What is planned? • What activity is taking away time and giving little in return? For example, maybe you have unintentionally made it a habit to stop for ice cream every Friday on your way home. It may be fun, but is it useful? Maybe stopping for ice cream only takes 45 minutes. But, if you skipped that little event, your child would have 45 minutes every Friday night to get their weekend homework done and get ready for their week. Use this opportunity to introduce them to some retro candy. That will still make the Friday night a treat!


Look for other activities that drain on your child’s time with no real reward and see if you can put that time to better use.

Prioritize It is very important that you teach your child to prioritize. This is a life skill that we all must master. When your child is facing football or softball practice, they have a test to study for, and their friend wants to come for a visit; which should he do? All of these things are important. By looking at the day, you can determine what time they should study and what time they will be at practice. If they can manage those two things, you can work with the guest.

Work With His Teacher This is a very important way to help your child. Have a meeting with his teacher. Explain that he has practice on certain evenings. Ask them if he could be given his assignments the day before practice or if he can do them the day after. Work together and create a method that works. Teachers are people too. They have probably raised kids and faced the same issues that you are facing. Work with them, and they may even have some tips to help you.


Organize How much time is spent in your home looking for school clothes, shoes, pencils, and homework? (How much time is spent looking for car keys, cell phones, and laptops?) This is all wasted energy. Make it a rule that everyone in the house keeps their things organized and ready for the next day. School clothes, shoes, and supplies should be gathered before bed each night. The time management monster can be tamed and trained.

Be Flexible and Recognize No matter what your child is doing, he needs to know that you are with him. Show interest in his school work and progress in his sport of choice. Make sure they can confide in you. This is especially important if any injuries occur. You do not want your kid hiding those from you, as they need to be treated as soon as your kid starts experiencing pain. If they share a pain in the foot (common for little soccer lovers), make sure to book an appointment with a respectable podiatrist. You can do so quickly with www.zocdoc.com

Takeaways Remember, your child is just a kid. It may try a dozen activities until it finds the right one for him. What you are doing is training your child to take control and take care of business. You are showing him that he can do anything he wants to, if he applies himself to it and works it into his schedule.

You are giving him permission to be the person he wants to be, and that is a wonderful thing.


Raising Kids Positively Raising Kids Positively is all about improving your relationship with your children, growing their emotional intelligence, and a balance of kind and firm discipline. Psychologist Carol Surya makes this easy with her new website www.raisingkidspositively.com and three easy-to-use routes: a children’s self-esteem game, a conscious parenting book and workshops. InnerMagic Perfect for today’s busy families, is a game to consciously spend more quality time together, without devices or distractions. Expertly designed for selfreflection, self-expression and empowerment, InnerMagic benefits include teaching emotional intelligence while also strengthening all areas of development as you play! Everyone loves it because it gets all players moving, thinking and speaking. Magically encouraging children to talk more easily, develop critical thinking and practice making healthy choices. Ideal for parents, grandparents and educators to play with 5 to 13 year olds.

Order yours today and be reminded of your inner potential. All information available on

www.raisingkidspositively.com Email : info@raisingkidspositively.com Phone: (044) 533-5655 Mobile:: 071 671 6337


The Magic of Mindfulness Author Carmen Clews has found a magical way to bring mindfulness into your home and school! “The Magic Mat and its little secret…” is a delightful children’s book (with free DVD animation) offering fun, physical stretching and calming techniques to develop happy, relaxed, loving and healthy children. Used as a story at bedtime, or done actively with the DVD at home or as a group activity in the classroom - with regular use the benefits are magical. Children relax more, improving in balance and co-ordination, as well as memory, focus, patience and selfcontrol. Readers (age 5 to 12) hop on board their very own Magic Mat, transforming them into animals with various beautiful qualities. Finally, they relax, discovering their own higher selves, learning to feel love, compassion and gratitude. Read what buyers say about this magical tool kit, visit the Facebook page, watch the video clip – or simply order yours today.

The Planting Seeds for Life Education Series, also by Carmen Clews, teaches mindfulness and positive values to children aged 10 to 14 years. Enchanting African stories guide the reader through group discussions, visualizations, songs and other learning activities all aimed at improving well-being. The book’s 25 “seeds”, each written as a lesson plan, include the essential life skills of making wise choices; improving communication; managing emotions; problem solving; forgiveness; positive thinking; self-reliance and environmental conservation. If only we’d all learned these skills at school.

Contact details : Website : www.magicmatsecret.com Email : carmen@magicmatsecret.com Video : http://vimeo.com/100388148 Magic Mat Seeds for Life


How students and teachers can beat exam stress Expert stress management tips and techniques to help you cope before, during and after the intense examination period. With exam season just around the corner, some students and teachers will feel the pressure more than others. But those enduring anxiety and stress needn't face it alone. Even when sitting her SATs in year six at school, Rebekah Dussek would become physically ill through the stress of these early tests. By the time she reached her GCSEs, Dussek was struggling with panic attacks. It was during her AS levels that she began to selfharm for the first time, having also developed an eating disorder. "While I have struggled with anxiety and stress from a young age, exams have always been the biggest trigger," she explains.

"I also have a tendency to be very hard on myself, and if an exam hasn't gone the way I wanted it to I will sometimes take it out on myself through self-harm or restricting my eating. During my AS levels in 2015 was the first time I started to self-harm." Now 20, Dussek, originally from Nottingham, is studying French and History in her first year at the University of Southampton. It has been a tough personal journey to the south coast - including a gap year "to give myself time to try to recover before university" - but she has picked up coping mechanisms along the way to help deal with her upcoming exams. "One thing that’s helpful for me is that I try not to be alone after an exam, so I don't engage in self-destructive behaviours," she says. "I've also registered with the enabling services at university, which means that I can sit my exams in a small room, and have rest breaks to calm down if I am feeling panicked.“


Exam stress on the rise

All work and no play ...

Dussek is not alone in her experiences. According to the NSPCC, more than 3,000 young people turned to the charity's Childline counselling service for exam stress in 2016/17 - a rise of 11% over the past two years.

Such is the crucible of the exam period, students often won't allow themselves to take breaks from their studies, opting for all work and no play instead. To do so can be of peril to their mental health. Instead, Dussek advocates a "quality over quantity approach".

Over a fifth of these counselling sessions took place in May, in the run-up to the exam period. While 12- to 15-year-olds formed the largest demographic, there was a 21% yearon-year rise in the 16-18 age group using the service, telling counsellors of struggles with depression, anxiety, panic attacks and even suicidal thoughts due to upcoming exams. "We know from Childline that many teenagers struggle with exam stress, which can affect their ability to sleep and eat properly, and can trigger panic attacks, depression and low self-esteem," says an NSPCC spokesperson. "Parents and schools can help by trying not to place unnecessary pressure on children to gain certain grades, and if they are disappointed with their performance let them know you are there to support them. "Whatever results they get they will have a lot to think about and it's important to remind young people not to panic and that there are always options available.“

"My advice would be to still make time for other relaxing activities outside of revision," she says. "Your brain can't work at its best every minute of the day. I found things like going for a dog walk or run, or going out for a coffee or lunch with friends or family were good, as they don't take up loads of time, but get you out of the house for a break and change of scenery." "It's really important to take care of your well-being during exam season," agrees Emma Saddleton, helpline manager at YoungMinds.

"Schedule

your time so that you have regular breaks and make sure you can go outside and get some fresh air, as well as scheduling for relaxation time at the end of the day. It's also a good idea to organise something for when exams end, to take your mind off them and as a reward for getting through them." For first-year university students in particular, living away from home for the first time - as well as the pressure to make new friends and handle finances - can often exacerbate things, says Nicky Lidbetter, chief executive of Anxiety UK. "Students now living away from home may also feel the urge to self-medicate with alcohol or cigarettes," she says.


"It’s important that you get enough sleep. Revising until 3 am might feel like you're going the extra mile, but it will leave you exhausted and less likely to absorb the information. Exercise, healthy eating and hydration are quick wins to ensure you're nurturing your body as well as your mind.“

"De-stress" events Recent times have also seen the advent of "de-stress" events held by student unions. Back in 2016, the University of Westminster made the Evening Standard when it was reported its student union had brought puppies and bunnies on to the campus to help students take their minds off exam pressures. Slots to pet the animals sold out within minutes. The University of Leicester Students' Union has also incorporated a “puppy room” during the exam period, as well as providing free fruit, yoga classes and board games to students. "We know how important it is for students to have opportunities to relax, de-stress and treat themselves during this time," said Harriet Smailes, well-being officer at Leicester Students' Union.

"Although a certain level of pressure will help drive motivation, there's no doubt that too much stress will be detrimental to performance, so the more we as a union can do to help students achieve what they need, the better!"

Not just students Perhaps not so widely reported is the stress teachers can also undergo during the exam period. According to Joe Glamp, who teaches at a comprehensive school in North London, teachers fear poor results reflect negatively on their pedagogic abilities, leading to self-doubt and stress. "We recently had our second round of mock exams and the results in my class were really quite poor for a lot of students," he explains. "Realising this took a toll on me, as I felt disheartened and attached my success as a teacher to their success in these exams. "I would say that most of the pressure on me is self-inflicted. We are expected, however, to put a little more effort in with our year 11s since they are coming close to their exams, but I personally feel happy to put this effort in, as it's the most rewarding part of my job." But for other teachers at schools with behaviour problems and low student engagement, exam stress can be just the tip of the iceberg, says Glamp. "That's the biggest stress for me," he says. "Lessons are very difficult to teach, with student engagement being so low that it is a challenge to talk for more than 30 seconds without having to deal with disruption in the class. It's a huge drain on morale.“

Time to talk Ultimately, the best thing students can do whether they are sitting their SATs or their finals - is to open up and talk about their troubles rather than go into self-isolation mode.


"The chances are that many of your classmates will feel the same way and are too nervous themselves to talk about it," says Lidbetter. "Reach out to your friends, discuss your apprehensions rather than struggling in silence." "If you're struggling with your mental health, you're not alone," adds Saddleton. "Speak to a parent, teacher, or a helpline and explain how you're feeling." Elliot Bush, a 20-year-old linguistics student at the University of Kent, who suffers from anxiety, and started hearing voices at 15, suggests making use of university drop-in counselling services, available to all students. "Talking is the best coping mechanism," he says. "My university has an excellent drop-in counselling service on weekdays for when I am feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes, though, I simply need to talk to a good friend, even if it's just going for a walk or talking about the weather. "I have also created an 'Elliot's well-being box', which I made on World Mental Health Day. In it, I have items which comfort or ground me, from photos of my dog to nutmeg, which I take a sniff of when I'm feeling stressed - I find the strong scent very grounding.“ Talking. Yoga. Meditation apps. Petting dogs. Nutmeg. All remedies are valid - but what works for one student may well not work for others. "It's important not to compare yourself, as everyone has different needs," says Dussek. What is an indisputable truth, however, is that studying for exams should never come at the expense of one's mental health.


By Gemma Bailey

Parents & Professionals: When Education isn't Enough Is it too much when we pressurize children to learn more and become greater academics - and just as importantly, does it really help? Are there just as important - if not more important - considerations to have in their development as humans? Let’s imagine you’re old and tired. You’re tucked up in your nursing home. Would you rather have a compassionate carer or an intelligent one….?


You may have heard that multisensory instruction involves three types of activities: • Visual • Auditory • Kinesthetic By Marie Rippel

Visual obviously refers to sight, and auditory refers to hearing. But what does kinesthetic mean? The term kinesthetic refers to touching, doing, experiencing, or being physically active, and it’s one of the three main pathways to the brain.

Kinesthetic Activities Are Important for All Learners You may already know that when children are taught using all three pathways to the brain, they learn even more than when they are taught only through their strongest pathway (Farkus, 2003)1. The more senses we involve, the more learning occurs. So even if your child is an auditory or visual learner, it is still important to teach through kinesthetic activities as well. By doing so, not only will you be sure to teach to your child’s strongest pathway, but you will also maximize long-term retention of the information. Kinesthetic activities help ingrain learning into long-term memory by turning a lesson into a physical experience. When a child is engaged in a kinesthetic activity, he is moving and touching and interacting with his lessons. And a great side benefit is that kinesthetic learning activities are usually lots of fun.


10 Free Kinesthetic Activities to Try with Your Kids Visit these blog posts to get free kinesthetic activities to try with your children.

9 More Activities for Kinesthetic Learning Most hands-on activities can be completed with minimal materials and with no advanced preparation. An effective spelling activity can be as simple as writing letters in the air or tapping out syllables on a kitchen counter—no materials required!


Print our Kinesthetic Activities Poster to hang on your refrigerator! Kinesthetic Learning Is Fun—and the Possibilities Are Endless!

1Farkus, R.D. (2003). Effects of traditional versus learning-styles instructional methods on middle school students. The Journal of Educational Research, 97(1), 42-51.


Inspirational video to share with your kids :

"Growth Mindset for Students" Mojo loved school, especially math. But when the lessons started to get more difficult, Mojo gave up on himself – believing that he was no longer smart enough for math, or for school. But with the help of his friend, Mojo learned that anyone could be smart – including him. With a “growth mindset” he could help his brain get stronger and smarter!

Watch this video with your kids and introduce them to this powerful concept of having a growth mindset in life!


By Katie Hurley Guest writer for Positive Parenting Solutions A thirteen-year-old girl comes to me week after week with a litany of complaints about social media. She doesn’t like the way her friends act on Instagram. She doesn’t like it when people unfollow her because they’re mad about something, only to follow her again a few hours later. She’s hurt when she isn’t called out as part of the group, and she hates it when she sees the group photos from weekend plans she wasn’t invited to. Mean comments maker her uncomfortable. The truth is, she doesn’t like who she is or how she acts on social media. She wishes it didn’t exist.

“How can you be a change maker?” It’s a simple question, and yet she’s silent. She hasn’t thought about possible solutions to the problem because the problem is so overwhelming. “You have two choices: You can be a quiet observer or you can be a change agent. Make your choice.” What follows is a lengthy discussion on what she can do to improve the way she, and perhaps some of her friends, use and interact with one another on social media. She starts a “sprinkle kindness” campaign with a few close friends. They agree to leave at least five comments per day, especially on posts where they see unkind comments. .


Kids are often conditioned to believe that they need adult help with complicated social issues, but it’s essential to empower our girls to act as change agents. Does sprinkling kindness in one small school community solve the larger issues of cyberbullying and relational aggression? No. But it’s a start. And kindness has a way of spreading. It’s up to us to empower our girls to act as change makers. When we ask them how to solve a problem instead of telling them what to do, they internalize the message that they have the power to make positive changes

Create a social media checklist. Even if your daughter doesn’t use social media yet, it’s a good idea to talk about it. The fact is that many young girls are faced with all kinds of social dilemmas through social media, and it’s difficult to know what to do. We don’t have to fear social media use among girls. If we talk to them about responsible social media use, they learn to use social media for good. •

Here are a few ideas to get you started:

Ask before you post. It’s always a good idea to check with your friend before you post a picture.

Let them choose projects.

Never use photos, captions, or comments to embarrass or hurt others. If you notice other girls doing this, speak up, ask for help, and leave kind comments for girls who might be hurting. Think about how others might feel or react before you post (I teach girls to use the 3-minute rule: Craft the post, wait three minutes, then do a gut check before hitting post.) Use social media to promote positivity and kindness.

Girls often tell me that when they do volunteer for something, it’s planned by their parents. When I asked one group of girls where they would donate the money from a lemonade stand, twenty girls gave me twenty different answers. To raise socially conscious girls who not only think about others but who also answer the call to help others, it’s important to ask them about the causes they want to support. When we listen more than we talk, we inspire our girls to take the lead.

Many girls struggle to talk about complicated topics, like social media negativity, with their parents. Make sure to factor in plenty of 1:1 time when you and your daughter have uninterrupted time to connect.


Empower socially responsible thinking. Girls encounter any number of moral dilemmas and complicated issues at school, in the community, and online. While encouraging community service helps broaden their worldview and increases empathy and compassion, it’s also important to talk to girls about socially responsible thinking on a micro level. Use role plays at home to practice standing up to relational aggression, asking for help when something is too overwhelming, figuring out what to do when other kids make unethical decisions, and assertiveness skills. As a parent of a young girl, I know the pull to want to protect her from the hard stuff, but I also know that when I empower her and guide her to work through these difficult situations, she gains confidence and learns that she can make a difference.

Good Parent Sportsmanship The line between being a supportive, engaged, sports-loving parent and applying too much pressure on kids is easily crossed. To avoid embarrassing your child and making him/her feel more pressure than he/she already feels about playing the game – we recommend these strategies:

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Katie Hurley, LCSW is the author of The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World (Tarcher/Penguin) and the highly anticipated No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls (Penguin Random House, January 2018). Hurley is a child and adolescent psychotherapist, writer and speaker in Los Angeles, CA. Katie earned her BA in psychology and women’s studies from Boston College and her MSW from the University of Pennsylvania. She has extensive experience treating children and adolescents with learning differences, anxiety and low self-esteem. She is also trained in Play Therapy. Katie’s work can be found in several online publications, including The Washington Post, PBS Parents, US News and World Report, and The Huffington Post. Katie is the author of “ The Happy Kid Handbook


By Amy McCready

We want our children to learn from their mistakes and not repeat them. So the natural thought is to send them to the “time out” corner or up to their room to “think about what they’ve done.” Except they don’t. And they’re likely to keep up the same behaviors despite the punishment. So, how do you know how to discipline your child?

Often, we equate the term “discipline” with punishment. But the word “discipline” comes from the Latin word “discipline,” which means “teaching, learning.” That’s the key to correcting our kids’ behaviors – giving them the tools they need to learn a better behavior. When we discipline in a way meant only to punish and have the child “pay” for their mistake, it doesn’t help our child learn how to make the right choice next time. When it comes to knowing how to discipline your child, we can focus on three key areas:


1.

Fill the Attention Basket

Kids need attention, plain and simple. If we don’t keep that “attention basket” full with positive attention, kids will seek out any attention they can get – even negative attention. They’ll push our buttons with negative behaviors because to a kid, even negative attention is better that no attention at all. This doesn’t mean you have to be at your child’s side 24-7 – just taking a few minutes a day to spend one-on-one with your child, distraction-free and doing something they want to do, will reap immense rewards in their behavior. Take 10 minutes once or twice a day with each child playing a game they’ve picked or reading their favorite book. Let the phone ring. Stick the cell phone in the closet. When you fill your children’s attention baskets positively and proactively, your kids will become more cooperative and less likely to seek out attention in negative ways. Life is busy for everyone, and finding extra time in the day may be daunting at first, but think of this as an investment in your relationship with your children and in improving their behavior. When it comes to knowing how to discipline your child, giving them what they need to avoid poor behaviors in the first place can have a great impact. 2. Take Time for Training As you think about how to discipline your child, it’s important to remember that the word discipline is rooted in meanings of learning and teaching. The best way to discipline your child is to help her make better choices. You can role play the behaviors, using a calm voice. “I’d really like to play with that tractor when you’re done.”

“I’d like a snack, please.” Switch roles and pretend you’re the child, and let your little one direct you through making better choices. Be encouraging when they do make the right choices. “I see you worked hard to clean up the playroom all on your own! That’s such a big help. I really appreciate it.” “Thank you for sharing the book with your brother. How kind!”

3. Set Limits and Stick to Them Kids thrive when they have structure and know their boundaries. Don’t go overboard with hundreds of rules, but focus on what’s most important for your family. Be clear about the ground rules and what happens when someone breaks the rules – make sure that everyone understands the consequences ahead of time and that the discipline is related to the misbehavior. If they forget to put away their dishes after dinner, they have to load and unload the dishwasher. Cleaning their room because they didn’t do their homework isn’t related. Most importantly, be consistent. Follow through every time with the agreed-upon consequence when kids push the rules. Overall, remember that knowing how to discipline your child is rooted in helping them learn how to make the right choice, not punishment. Be firm and give them the attention, rules and boundaries they need.


Conscious Life Magazine


Salsa Fresca

Ingredients • • • • • • • •

5 medium tomatoes cut into ½-inch pieces 1-2 jalapenos seeded and minced 2 garlic cloves minced ¼ medium red onion chopped 3tbsp fresh lime juice ½tsp salt ⅛tsp black pepper 1tbsp cilantro chopped

Instructions

In a bowl, gently stir together all the ingredients.

Berbere Spice Mix Berbere Spice Mix Berbere is a blend of spices used in Ethiopian cooking. If you don’t have whole spices, you can use ground ones. Ingredients

Instructions

• • • • • • •

Remove the seeds from the cardamom pod. Toast the cardamom, clove, allspice and fenugreek seeds in a dry skillet over medium-high heat, stirring until the spices become fragrant. Remove from the heat, let cool and grind in a mortar and pestle until fine. Stir in the ginger, nutmeg, and turmeric.

1whole cardamom pod 1whole clove 2whole allspice ⅛tsp whole fenugreek seeds ⅛tsp ground ginger ⅛tsp ground nutmeg ⅛tsp ground turmeric


Stovetop Pizza Stovetop Pizza These days, pizza is the favorite food of many children. Making your own pizza is a satisfying accomplishment. This delicious version uses fresh tomatoes and less cheese than most. You can bake these pizzas on cookie sheets in preheated 425 degree oven instead of cooking them on the stovetop. Makes 3 10-inch pizzas.

Ingredients Pizza Dough • 1cup warm water • ½tsp baking yeast • 1tsp honey • ¾cup whole wheat flour • 1¾cups unbleached white flour • ½tsp baking powder • ½tsp salt Pizza Toppings • ¼cup shredded Parmesan cheese • ½cup grated mozzarella cheese • 5 Roma tomatoes, diced • ½ red bell pepper diced • 2tbsp chopped fresh basil leaves • ¼tsp salt • ⅛tsp freshly ground black pepper • 2tsp olive oil

Instructions Make the pizza dough In a medium bowl, combine the warm water and yeast. Let sit 2 to 3 minutes, until the yeast is dissolved. Stir in the honey and whole wheat flour. In a separate bowl, stir together the white flour, baking powder, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the whole wheat mixture, stirring to form a rough dough. On a clean, lightly floured work surface, knead the dough for 1 to 2 minutes, until smooth. Cover the dough and let it rise while you prepare the pizza toppings. Prepare the pizza toppings In a small bowl, combine the cheeses. In another bowl, combine the tomatoes, bell peppers, basil, salt, pepper, and olive oil.

Make the pizzas Divide the dough to make 3 equal balls. On a clean, lightly floured work surface, roll each ball into a circle that is 10 inches in diameter. Heat a 12-inch skillet or griddle over medium high heat until it is hot. Transfer the rolled pizza crust to the skillet or griddle and cook for 3 to 5 minutes. Turn the dough. Spread one third of the tomato mixture on top of the cooked side of the dough to make an even layer. Top with ¼ cup of the cheese mixture. Cover the pan and continue to cook the pizza until the toppings are hot and the bottom of the crust is golden brown, about 5 to 8 minutes. Remove the pizza to a cutting board and cut into wedges to serve. Repeat this process to make 2 more pizzas.


Green Mondays: Suriyaki

Recipe Credit: Amy Hopkins Photo Credit: Micky Hoyle

Ingredients: • 1 cup mirin • 1 cup sake • 1/4 cup coconut sugar • 1 cup tamari or wheat-free soy sauce • 3 spring onions, sliced • 1 tbsp coconut oil • 2 handfuls shimeji mushrooms (not all separated) • 2 handfuls pak choi, rinsed • 2 handfuls sliced Napa or Chinese cabbage • 1/2 packet Vermicelli noodles • Fresh coriander • 1 lime

• Combine the mirin, sake, soy and sugar in a bowl and set aside. • Place spring onions and coconut oil in the pan. Sauté for a minute, then add one cup of the sake mixture. • Add the mushrooms, pak choi and cabbage to the pan. In the meantime, soak the vermicelli noodles in water for 5 minutes. Then add to the pan with the vegetables. • Add the rest of the sake mixture and cook for a further five minutes. • Serve noodle mix with fresh coriander and a squeeze of lime juice.

Directions: • Heat one large deep pan or wok over medium-high heat.

Conscious Life Magazine


Green Mondays: Carrot Cake Recipe credit: Laura, Beauty Without Cruelty Photo credit: My Darling Vegan

Ingredients: • 3 tsp Orgran No Egg mixed with 6 tbsp water until frothy • 3/4 cup oil • 3/4 cup soy milk • 1/2 cup xylitol • 2 cups flour • 2 tsp ground cinnamon • 2 tsp baking powder • 1/2 tsp salt • 1 can crushed pineapple in syrup, undrained • 2 cups grated carrot • 1 cup sultanas • 1 cup chopped pecan nuts

Directions:

• Combine flour, cinnamon, baking powder and salt. • Gradually beat dry ingredients into wet mixture. • Add pineapple, sultanas, nuts, and carrot and mix well. • Pour into a large greased baking tin. • Bake at 180 degrees in a preheated oven for 60 minutes. • Test with a toothpick in the center - if it doesn't come out clean, bake for a while longer (make sure you didn't just poke a sultana) • Optional: Ice with white icing sugar or coconut whipped cream once cool and top with extra chopped pecans.

• Beat no-egg, sugar, soya milk and oil together until well mixed.

Conscious Life Magazine


Herbs in your pet’s nutrition – your very own medicinal garden Most people have fresh herbs at home or can easily acquire some. The medicinal and mineral wealth in herbs is well documented and is essential to the health of all animals. In the wild, dogs and cats would graze a variety of mineral enriched grass, flowers and herbs, instinctively identifying the healing and cleansing agents that they contain. It is not uncommon for even our domesticated pets to consume grass and roots. In our own brand of natural food we include a variety of over 20 freshly pick herbs. As a result we have had amazing success in treating skin allergies and eczema, bad breath, bladder disorders, obesity, eye ailments, diabetes, cancer and nervousness. Described below are some common conditions that we struggle with and how the appropriate herb can be effective in treating it.

So often we struggle with poor animal behavior and it seems that our companions are out of control. The herbs that would supplement this diet are the cooling and calming herbs: PROPERTY: Calming, Relaxing, Soothing MINERAL: Magnesium HERBS: Assortment of Mints, Sages, Lemon Verbena, Lemon Balm, Borage, Yarrow A very common ailment with our companion animals are digestive issues. This could be a loose stool, flatulence, smelly skin and breath or diarrhea. This problem may be chronic and regular or it may be as result of a viral or bacterial infection. The herbs that I would recommend for such a condition are listed below: PROPERTY: Digestive Alkaliser, prevent mucus formation, prevent toxic build up and removal of toxins MINERAL: Sodium & Sulpher HERBS: Mints, Garlic, Fennel, Comfrey We all know that calcium is fantastic for bone, teeth and cartilage. So often we turn to synthetic pharmaceutical mineral supplementation. The most effective minerals and vitamins are derived from wholesome enzymatic active ingredients that you find in veggies and herbs:


PROPERTY: Build Strong Teeth, Bones, Cartilage, Hooves & Nails MINERAL: Calcium HERBS: Carrots, Sorrel Skin allergies and skin irritation are the most common ailments we find nowadays. Herbs like mint, sages, lemon verbena and lemon balm (enriched with magnesium) would be very beneficial in the treatment thereof. However, as general maintenance and promoting healthy coats and bright eyes, the mineral chlorine is preferred: PROPERTY: Promoting Glossy Coats, Shinny Eyes by Removing Toxic Build Up and Over Formation of Fatty Tissue. MINERAL: Chlorine HERBS: Rosemary, Basil, Comfrey

About Paul Jacobson Paul Jacobson is a Pet Food Nutritionist and qualified chef and owner of Vondis Holistic Pet Nutrition. Vondis has been producing natural pet food for 20 years and is a registered nutritional pet food. Paul is actively involved in educating the public on the benefits of natural diets for pets and a holistic approach when treating them. The product is promoted and stocked by a wide spectrum of vets, homeopaths, health stores and pet shops.


Hippotherapy and Therapeutic Riding At The Yard on Third

Hippotherapy involves the use of a horse’s movement in therapy. It is a therapy technique that can be used by trained Physiotherapists, Occupational Therapists and Speech Therapists. How does it work? The child is mounted on a specially trained therapy horse or pony. As the horse/pony walks, its movement is translated into the patient. Through clinical reasoning and evidence based practice, the horse’s movement: Can be guided and changed depending on the client’s needs Is used to get an active response from the client Facilitates functional and more efficient movements in the client’s body The horse or pony used is specifically selected for each client, to make sure it is the right size, gives the desired movement to the client and has the right temperament.

Who can benefit from Hippotherapy? Hippotherapy is specifically for clients who have moderate to severe motor and/or sensory disorders. When a child is referred for Hippotherapy, he/she will be assessed by our Physiotherapist. The assessment will: Determine if Hippotherapy will be beneficial and safe for the child Identify any contra-indications to Hippotherapy Aid in developing individualized therapy goals for the child Aid in selecting the right horse for that child The therapist will then work one-on-one with the child towards achieving their therapy goals.

Why does it work? Hippotherapy is so effective because it influences, enhances and integrates function in multiple systems, including the Sensory systems Neuro-motor system (muscles) The cognitive system.

Hippotherapy is not intended to be done as a treatment program on its own, but as one part of the client’s plan of care.


SAFETY PRECAUTIONS The most important thing to consider when doing Hippotherapy is safety. Horses are wonderful and gentle animals, but they are still a live animal and can frighten easily. Hippotherapy will never be conducted if it is considered unsafe for the client, or for the horse. The horse will always be led by a trained horse expert, who can recognize signs of discomfort or stress in the horse. The therapist will walk alongside the horse and the client on one side, and there will always be another person, walking alongside the other side of the horse. This can be a family member or a volunteer.

Therapeutic riding: Therapeutic riding is a horse-riding program that enhances and strengthens movement the child already has through exercise and activity on horseback. • Therapeutic riding • Is appropriate for children who have minimal to moderate motor and/or sensory disorders. • Can be a progression of Hippotherapy once the child reaches their Hippotherapy goals • Has the same therapeutic benefits of Hippotherapy • Is usually run in small groups by a professional horse riding instructor. Our therapeutic riding program at The Yard on Third has been developed in conjunction with our Physiotherapist, who is trained in Hippotherapy. Contact details: Physiotherapist at the Yard on Third: Angela Kruse 076 347 7177 angkruse16@gmail.com


Benefits of Hippotherapy and Therapeutic Riding: Hippotherapy and Therapeutic Riding can result in improvements in the following areas: • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Arousal and attention Balance strategies Bi-lateral integration Body awareness Circulation Dynamic postural stability Endurance Midline orientation Mobility of the pelvis, spine and hip joints Muscle tone Muscle strength Musculoskeletal alignment Neuro-motor dysfunction Posture Problem-solving movement strategies Respiratory function Self confidence Sensorimotor integration Symmetry and alignment Timing and co-ordination


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Positive Parenting Magazine - COTU Free Online - June 2018 Ed 44  

This Month: Discipline Without Punishment; Beating Exam Stress; Raising Socially Responsible Girls; My Angry Child; Balancing School & Sport...

Positive Parenting Magazine - COTU Free Online - June 2018 Ed 44  

This Month: Discipline Without Punishment; Beating Exam Stress; Raising Socially Responsible Girls; My Angry Child; Balancing School & Sport...

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