*FREE 0NLINE MAG * EDITION 36 JULY 2017
ed’s letter Hello Positive Parents
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Welcome to being slap-bang in the middle of winter, cuddling up and reading stories to the kids and loads of hot chocolate. We have a few tips on how to save energy whilst still keeping warm, and more tips on ‘how not to catch your child’s cold this winter’. For many people Winter is a difficult time of the year, not wanting to get out of bed, getting the kids ready for school and heading out into the cold mornings – and the traffic. Now here’s an idea to keep you calm during traffic jams, tune into Mix Fm 93.8 to keep yourself laughing and enjoying their splendid line-up of music everyone will relate to. We look at various emotions from Taming the Angry Heart, to Depression and also an alternative to punishing the kids when they get out of hand. On the Educational side, we have two awesome projects for you – 0ne of Raising Kids Positively, and the Magic Mat which can be played by the whole family. Remember to consider those who are less fortunate than us, people who don’t have warm comfy beds to snuggle into at night, and share what you can with others.
Till the next edition, enjoy the school holidays and be well. Always. Xxx
contents BABIES & BEYOND Set your child up for peaceful sleep Are you preventing your child from focusing? PEACEFUL PARENTING Radical Parenting: Sex, Drugs & Teens Genetic testing which could help treatment for ADHD Instead of Punishment! For to tame your heart wen you are angry Tips on how not to catch your child’s cold this Winter EDUCTIONAL TOYS AND LEANING EQUIPMENT Raising kids positively The Magic Mat: Developing healthy loving children GREN LIVING Saving energy whilst still keeping warm YUMMY TUMMY Lisa Raleigh – top tips for weight-loss Cooking with Kids ANIMAL WORLD We love animals – NATURALLY The gentle therapy of Horse Riding REACH OUT OUT & ABOUT
Sleep seems to be one of those things you don't think about until it's not working. And then it's ALL you think about. Parents tell me of all the tricks, complicated routines, and methods they are going through just to get their children to sleep each night. It sounds exhausting just listening to them. And, I've been there too. I wrote about my experience with a 9 month old who "needed" to be held upright, rocked, and remain in contact with a person to stay asleep, and how his parents and I made a new plan for restful sleep based on the Compassionate Sleep Solution from Eileen Henry. Check it out! And be sure to pick up a copy of her book if you have a similar sleep story.
Don't Cry it Out. Set up Sleep for Success. Here's what I did with a family, and how you can reclaim restful sleep yourself. Three things to check out: •
If you are using a floor bed for your infant or toddler, check out this article from Pilar at The Full Montessori for her real-life experiences.
I certainly kept myself up at night thinking about monsters in my closet. Here's 5 steps for easing bedtime fears from Janet Lansbury.
Watch this TED talk from Jeff Iliff about how our brains use sleep to clean themselves and what sleep is really about.
The brain uses a quarter of the body's entire energy supply, yet only accounts for about two percent of the body's mass. So how does this unique organ receive and, perhaps more importantly, rid itself of vital nutrients? New research suggests it has to do with sleep.
By Leanne Gray
How many times are you interrupted during the day?
The phone dings, you notice the dust on the floor over there and start cleaning, your coworker stops by to share their lunch plans... the list goes on and on. Maybe you don't even register these as distractions anymore, it happens so often.
Interrupting Parent. ...wait what? Interrupting.. Oh wow! What are you painting there? Let me help you with that. This is the color green, can you say green?â€?
How do you feel when you try to return to what you were doing? Can you return to what you were doing?
There's a finite amount of mental bandwidth we have at any given moment, and as we split and fracture this attention from this to this to this, the bandwidth reserves dwindles. We are less able to remain focused and keep our concentration on anything, AND the more times we do this, the weaker our ability to concentration and focus becomes. The notion that our collective attention has dropped to 8 seconds seems to be related to the sheer number of distractions readily available today. Now perhaps more than ever, It is our job to watch for concentration and protect this important state of learning for our children. Here's 5 ways to preserve attention reserves, maximize states of flow, and support concentration.
...Wait for it. Spend some time watching your child, and you'll begin to notice when she is focusing on something. Babies will look at objects for a very long time (as they process MUCH slower than our adult brains do). I've watched three year olds focus on a well-matched activity for 20 minutes! Just when you think you need to repeat a direction, solve a problem, or move on to the next step, wait, and then wait some more.
Stop interrupting. We interrupt by asking questions, commenting, offering praise or encouragement, even smiling! If you notice that your baby is intently looking at something, DON'T DO ANYTHING! If your toddler is diligently opening and closing a box, wait to congratulate her later when she's done. If your 5 year old is tying his shoe and making mistakes, stand nearby, but don't jump in and fix it! It's very easy to interrupt a child, and you may find it takes some practice to do nothing instead.
Remove Unnecessary Distractions When you need to get work done, where do you go? For me, it's the library. I can't distract myself with snacks, housework, or snuggling the dog. All these distractions are unavailable, making it much easier for me to keep focus on my task. You can design such a space for your child in your home. How many toys are available? Is the TV or radio on? Is the tone of the room peaceful, familiar, and inviting? Avoid toys and media that fracture attention/ take advantage of children's developing minds Screens and electronics are particularly damaging for attention (even those “educational learning” apps), as there is a LOT of new information to process at a fast pace. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends zero screen time for children under age 2, and no more than an hour of quality, parent-chaperoned use until age 5. But it's not just TV or smartphones. Children's toys are now presenting the same fast-paced, attention robbing qualities and require the same scrutiny as modern media. The trance-like state that occurs in children transfixed by media or active “learning” toys may look like concentration, but no real learning is happening. Young children need concrete objects, real experiences, and social interaction to grow and learn. As Magda Gerber said: “The best toys for babies don't do anything”.
Offer help only when needed I've said this before and I'll say it again. Good parenting is not about keeping your child happy or solving all the problems. Your child NEEDS to practice on her own, make mistakes, and go through difficulty. Knowing when and how to offer help is a subtle art, you can read more about how to do that for 0-3 years, 3-6 years, 6-9 years.
The Radical Parents Guide to Raising Teens – Sex, Drugs and Teens:
Why Just Saying “No” Doesn’t Work!
By Nanice Ellis
Regardless of city, state or country, virtually all teens face the temptation of drugs, sex, and rock n roll. You might not be too concerned about the rock and roll, but, if you’re like most parents, the idea of drugs and sex are probably disconcerting. Mainstream propaganda teaches parents to handle these sensitive issues with a superficial “just say no” approach, but if this black and white strategy worked, wouldn’t there be fewer kids doing drugs, drinking and having sex? Since statistics don’t lie, it’s plain to see that teens participate in mature behaviors whether parents like it or not. As a New York crisis counselor, I worked with adolescents between the ages of twelve and nineteen. Over the course of seven years, hundreds of teens told me things they were too afraid to tell their parents, and, as a result, I learned about adolescence in ways that traditional education could never provide. I later used this knowledge to successfully raise three sons, and now I’m about to share what I learned (and practiced) with you!
The Age of Exploration: Although most of the world treats adolescence like a disease needing to be cured, adolescence is meant to be a bridge between childhood and adulthood where teens learn how to make age-appropriate choices, navigate responsibilities, and develop independence. Ideally, with this in mind, adolescence should provide the space for selfexploration and self-discovery. Unfortunately, the traditional “just say no” approach to parenting often sabotages these important aspects of adolescence, and, instead of encouraging self-empowerment and independence, many well-meaning parents attempt to restrain teen expression by tracking and controlling behavior. In most cases, this parenting strategy backfires – trying to squash independence often encourages deceitful behavior where teens lie and sneak around, and when parents forbid mature behaviors and leverage punishment as a means of control, most teens rebel. Although rebellious behavior is sometimes blatant, oftentimes, covert behavior allows clever teens to bypass parental radar, and many teens learn how to manipulate rules with misdirection, while parents are never the wiser. Even when parents diligently monitor phone calls, texts, and emails, and enforce early curfews, teens still find ways to do the things they want to do.
Don’t Say “No” to Communication: Worst of all, when parents deal with sensitive or mature issues with the “just say no” approach, they often cut off any chance of meaningful communication, and, consequently, they miss pivotal opportunities to provide guidance when kids need it most. It’s pretty clear that teens don’t talk to parents about sensitive subjects when they fear judgment, punishment, or other repercussions and, unfortunately, without proper guidance and advice, teens often make important (and sometimes life changing) choices based on peer pressure, curiosity or hormones. Many well-intentioned parents don’t realize that the “just say no” approach to parenting can be just as detrimental as ignoring important issues and hoping for the best. In fact, teens raised by strict or closed-minded parents are more likely to make poor choices and participate in dangerous activities. And, because these teens are afraid to confide in their parents when they experience negative consequences, they are more susceptible to depression and suicidal ideation.
Space for Questioning: Most parents naturally want their children to follow family traditions, cultural beliefs and specific values that include good morals and a clear sense of right and wrong. However, once kids reach adolescence, healthy natural development motivates teens to challenge ideals and question everything.
Growing up requires trials and tribulations where teens test morals, ethics and beliefs, and, therefore, they need space to find their own truth. Like it or not, this translates into personal experiences where they can explore life and discover who they really are, and this could mean rejecting parental beliefs and making choices that go against everything they’ve been taught. Surely, it can be difficult to watch our children question, or even reject, all we hold dear, but not allowing them to find their own answers is a recipe for parent-teen alienation.
The Amish Way: Although the Amish are one of the strictest cultures in the world (even electricity is taboo), some Amish communities support a rather radical rites of passage known as “Rumspringa” (meaning running around). During “Rumspringa,” teens as young as fourteen years old have the opportunity to explore modern life outside the Amish community; often living independently in the city and experimenting with alcohol, drugs and sexual behavior. Surprisingly, after this period of adolescent exploration, almost 90% of Amish teens rejoin the Amish church, and because they make this choice consciously, they are fully committed for life. Clearly, the point is that, when given a choice, most teens eventually return to their roots. Whether parents approve or disapprove, virtually all teens experiment with mature matters. As a parent, you can either help your kids make conscious and responsible choices or, by default, they will make their most important choices without you – and without the benefit of your wisdom and guidance. The answer to this dilemma is a Radical Parenting Approach where you think outside the box and aren’t afraid to toss antiquated parenting strategies to the curb!
The Radical Parents Guide to Raising Teens Although teens are faced with adult choices on a regular basis, there’s no reason to allow peer pressure, hormones or fear to be deciding factors, nor is there any reason to miss pivotal parenting opportunities. As Radical Parents, we have the ability to raise teens who are confidently selfsufficient and emotionally well-adjusted. Knowing when (and how much) to let go, Radical Parents encourage age-appropriate independence while allowing teens to grow into their own space at their own pace. Ultimately, becoming self-empowered adults who own their worth and have mastered authentic self-expression. In the following guide, the 3 Steps of Radical Parenting will show you how to build and sustain effective strategies for raising conscious and empowered teens. Step 1 – Radical Communication The #1 tool for a Radical Parent is communication, and, in fact, without good, open communication, there’s no way to parent effectively. It’s fair to say that the ability to guide and influence adolescents is relative to the level of communication, and as communication improves, parental influence improves accordingly. In comparison to traditional parenting that depends on rule setting, discipline, and consequence-based parenting strategies, conscious communication creates a whole new paradigm for parenting. When it comes to parent-teen communication, here are the most pivotal concepts:
Refrain from Judgment: Believe it or not, most teens really want to speak openly with their parents, but, in many cases, well-intentioned parents inadvertently block communication by being judgmental. Although most parents don’t mean to judge their kids, when a parent focuses on misbehavior, faults or inadequacies, children of all ages experience judgment. Because parental judgment makes kids feel unworthy of parental love, it causes insecurity and makes them shut down (most teens only open up when they feel safe and loved). Even an isolated judgmental comment can cause teens to shut down and shut parents out. If this isn’t a good reason to avoid criticism and judgment, also consider that parental judgment can damage a teen’s self-worth and become a source of disempowerment. It can also create the kind of guilt and shame that inhibits growth and development (impeding the type of learning that comes from mistakes). Of course, when teens make mistakes, refraining from judgment can be difficult, but this is exactly what a Radical Parent must do! Here’s good news; if you don’t judge, get defensive or launch into lectures or explanations, teens often share the details of their lives and even ask advice. Hence, if you play your cards right, the best parenting opportunities lie ahead.
Avoid Power Games: Not only do teens need to feel unconditionally safe and loved, they also need to feel like they have some degree of power. When it comes to communication, there’s no way teens will talk to critical or condescending parents who make them feel powerless. So, when parents say things like, “I’m the parent and you have to do what I say” or “This is my house and as long as you live here, you’ll obey my rules,” there is no chance teens will open up and listen to parental advice. In fact, when parents play these power games, teens often try to diminish parental power by demonstrating their own. For example, when teens feel powerless, they might intentionally break the rules, talk back, or rebel in some other manner, and if they feel powerless over an extended period of time, they might even run away or threaten self-harm (regardless of precipitating factors, all threats should be taken seriously). No one ever wins a power game because every move has a counter-move, and the more controlling you are as a parent, the more rebellious your teen will be. Even if you somehow win, if you alienate your teen and block communication, you’ll both lose!
Keeping in mind that rules and consequences established without teen participation encourage power struggles, a key element to Radical Parenting is negotiation. By discussing and negotiating rules and consequences and formulating agreements with your kids, they’ll feel like they have a say in their own lives, and, when it comes to communication, this can make all the difference in the world.
Don’t Make Teens Lie: Parents hate it when kids lie, but they lie for the same reason adults lie; to avoid negative consequences, and this means that parental judgment or punishment can set the stage for lying and deception. In other words, if your child honestly tells you the truth about his thoughts, actions or behavior, and you respond with judgment or punishment, you’re teaching him to lie. Rather than risk parental wrath, most teens will choose to conceal the truth. So, if you want honesty, don’t punish your teen when you get it!
Beware the Test: Before communicating about more difficult subjects, teens sometimes test their parent’s reaction by introducing the subject matter as a third party story (maybe about a friend or something they heard on TV) and, if they sense any degree of parental judgment or closed-mindedness, they’ll drop the topic and never mention it again. This means that you’ll miss an opportunity to discuss a meaningful matter that affects your child.
Don’t Underestimate: Parents often avoid difficult discussions when they believe a teen is too young for mature subject matters. However, even if teens are immature for their age, or you think they are too young to make certain choices, if their friends or peers are engaging in mature behavior, it’s inevitable that they will be faced with the same opportunities. Do you want peer pressure to guide your teen’s choices or might you be a wiser guide? Here’s more good news; with open communication parental influence well-outweighs peer pressure.
Be Available, Pay Attention and Listen: As Radical Parents, we must learn to be excellent listeners! Although you may find your teen’s interests boring to discuss, there are three good reasons to attentively listen when kids share the everyday, ordinary stuff.
Oftentimes, before teens bring up the real subject they want to discuss, they test parental interest by talking about something nonsensical and depending on a parent’s level of attention, they decide whether or not to engage communication. So, if you’re annoyed at the interruption, distracted or more interested in something else, the conversation is done before it begins. Before approaching adult-like conversations, many teens attempt to connect with their parents by talking about meaningless stuff. In fact, this is a common way for teens to gauge their parent’s current mood and predict reactions, and if kids anticipate judgment, punishment or condemnation, they’ll silently choose to conceal the real reason for discussion. If you don’t listen when your children speak about ordinary things, they’ll think you won’t listen when they have something serious to say.
You just never know when your teen has something important to share, so it’s best not to risk missing potential parenting opportunities. Although most teens don’t outwardly initiate a conversation with their parents, whenever teens try to get a parent’s attention, it usually indicates they want to talk. Other indicators include dropping subtle hints or silently following a parent around without any noticeable intention. Therefore, if there is any sign your teen wants to talk, drop everything and pay attention; turn off your phone, computer, and TV. However, don’t expect your teen to do the same. Eventually, you can make this an agreed rule, but first, you must set and establish a precedent where you give your full undivided attention.
How to Communicate with Teens Timing is Everything: When it comes to parent-teen communication, timing is everything. If you try to push, manipulate or pressure teens into meaningful conversations before they’re open, it’s probably not going to fly. When my boys were adolescents, I learned to patiently wait for opportunities when they would be receptive to guidance. Sometimes, this meant waiting many months, but, hands down, it was always worth the wait! So, be chill and keep the door open; just let your teen know you are available to listen whenever he or she wants to talk. But, also, stay conscious, so when opportunity knocks, you’re ready to offer guidance and support.
Opportunity Knocks: The opportunity for communication often knocks when adolescents are faced with difficult issues or experiencing the natural consequences of poor decisions (this is when they are most receptive to support and guidance). However, although times of confusion or crisis offer priceless opportunities to connect and mentor, there’s a delicate balance; if you intervene too much, become controlling, or invasive, your teen might close down, and, consequently, your ability to mentor and guide will be equally diminished. By avoiding judgment, lectures, and control tactics, and showing unconditional love and support, Radical Parents hold the space for communication and exploration.
Allow Silence and Awkwardness: Since teens are just learning how to put words to their thoughts and feelings, it’s important to allow time and space for silence and awkwardness. In fact, it’s common for teens to speak slowly with a lot of space between thoughts. So, if you jump in with solutions or interrupt their process of communication for any reason, they may close down and stop talking altogether, and you’ll never know what’s really going on (or how to help). If you dominate the conversation, you will likely miss what they really want to say, so, as a good rule, allow your teen to talk (at least) twice as much as you.
Talk Feelings: You may want to protect your teen from emotional pain, but it’s just not possible, and even if you could, you might actually cause more harm than good. Yes, challenging situations sometimes result in painful emotions, but these experiences are precious opportunities for growth and learning. So, instead of suppressing or avoiding uncomfortable feelings, Radical Parents teach their teens how to feel and process emotions. Remember, if you want kids to share their feelings, you must create a safe (judgment-free) space for expression.
Be a Source of Empowerment: In addition to actively listening without judgment or commentary, a Radical Parent is a source of empowerment and upliftment. Instead of focusing on negativity and mistakes, show your sons and daughters what they do “right,” and teach them how to learn from their mistakes without self-judgment (because it damages self-worth and causes disempowerment). By the end of a meaningful conversation (even if the problem is not yet resolved), your teen should feel more capable and confident in his/her actions. As an added benefit, when children feel supported by their parents, they are more inclined to share challenging subject matters.
Confidentiality is Crucial: If you desire open communication, you must respect your teen’s confidentiality. So, whatever your teen confides in you stays with you (unless it involves a potentially harmful situation like suicidal ideation, for example). Or, if you believe the other parent needs to be informed, don’t go behind your teen’s back. Instead, ask your teen to communicate directly, or let him or her know you plan to communicate and explain why.
Improve Communication Skills: If you’re uncertain about healthy and empowering communication, don’t allow lack of knowledge or experience to get in the way. Instead, do whatever it takes to improve your communication skills; take classes, read books or hire a coach.
Step 2 – Teach by Example Children of all ages learn by example and naturally copy their parents, so, by the time they reach adolescence, most are hyper-sensitive to parental indiscretions, and this makes them notice any discrepancies between the rules and expectations set for them and the ones their parents follow. Since you can’t expect a teen to do what you say, if you’re not doing it yourself, make sure to clean up “sloppy behavior.” Oftentimes, this includes negative self-talk, disempowering language, unhealthy habits, and unconscious reactions, and, needless to say, make it a point to model desirable behaviors and do what you want your kids to do. Furthermore, if your teen “calls you out” on your behavior, don’t defend yourself, make excuses, or belittle your teen by acting superior (above the rules because you’re the parent). Instead, make it an opportunity for meaningful communication. Even if your son or daughter is trying to use your behavior against you in order to manipulate the rules on their behalf, don’t react or take offense. Rather, listen carefully and have the courage to recognize the wisdom in their words, and without burdening your kids with adult issues or excuses, be open and honest while engaging a real discussion about the subject. And, if appropriate, course correct your behavior accordingly, so that you can be the person you want your son or daughter to be!
Parent, Heal Thyself: Few can argue that adolescent self-discovery can be weird and messy (green hair, odd piercings, unusual friends, etc…), plus, driven by hormones and curiosity, this period of exploration can push a parent’s comfort zone. Sooner or later, most teens unknowingly trigger their parent’s emotional wounds, and, consequently, a parent’s unhealed issues can negatively impact parenting, and may even be passed down from parent to child. No doubt, we cannot raise confident and emotionally healthy children unless we are confident and emotionally healthy parents, and, therefore, we must courageously do the inner and outer work to become the people we want our children to be. In helping our kids build self-worth and become empowered adults, we must break free of our own limitations and disempowering beliefs, and this requires healing unresolved issues and emotional wounds. In other words, Parent Heal Thyself!
Mutual Respect: As a Radical Parent, mutual respect is key; no teen will respect a parent more than they feel respected by the parent. Therefore, it’s vital to treat your teen with the high level of respect in which you want to be treated; for instance, if you want your teens to call when they’re late, you must also do the same. Most of all, never speak to your kids in a way you wouldn’t want them to speak to you, and this means no yelling, blaming, or disrespectful communication of any nature. If you want respect, you must first give it, so, if you don’t want your teen to judge or curse, you better refrain. However, if you slip, either in words or affectation, take responsibility and apologize without excuses or justification. Also, although you should never accept disrespectful behavior, do not take it personally.
Honor Privacy: Unless there’s a reason to believe your teen’s life is in danger, it’s best to respect privacy and not invade private space. “Parental invasion” motivates teens to protect their privacy, and, therefore, eavesdropping and snooping leads to secretive behavior. Moreover, not only won’t your kids trust you, you’ll also make them feel untrustworthy, and, as a result, they’ll act accordingly. What about friends who are bad influences? Well, if you’re judgmental of your teen’s friends or forbid certain friendships, there’s a good chance your teen will rebel by holding onto these relationships. Where parental judgment and ultimatums don’t work, time and space often do the trick, and given the opportunity to choose, most teens decide to ditch unhealthy relationships on their own.
Step 3 – Guide Empowered Choices Consider, if you are not consciously encouraging independence and empowerment, there’s a good chance you are unconsciously encouraging dependency and powerlessness. Here’s what you need to know in order to empower teens and help them make empowered choices in all areas of life:
The Foundation is Self-Worth! When teens believe they must meet certain conditions in order to be worthy, their ability to make good choices is diminished accordingly. Choices that are based on proving or improving worth are almost always disempowering in one sense or another; especially when those choices require the suppression of authentic expression in order to be liked or accepted. Teens who know their unconditional worth make better choices because they are not afraid to say no or set boundaries that could result in judgment or rejection, and they don’t compromise self-respect or self-expression in exchange for approval or acceptance – nor to fit in or be popular. Therefore, it’s not an understatement to say that the primary job of a Radical Parent is teaching self-worth. So, how do you do it? Firstly, take a stand for your teen’s self-worth — let them know that their worth is not dependent on anything or anyone, and this means that Radical Parents don’t judge their kids for less than perfect grades, nor do they focus on failure or inadequacy.
Whether verbal or non-verbal, every time you express judgment, disappointment or criticism, your teen gets the message that worth depends on demonstration and meeting conditions. Rather than motivating kids to do better, this debilitating message causes disempowerment, and, all too often, results in the kind of self-doubt and insecurity that can last a lifetime. Since Radical Parents must practice what they preach, don’t forget to embrace your own unconditional worth! So, if you don’t yet have it, do whatever you need to do, to get it!
Boundaries Set the Stage: To make good, healthy choices, teens must identify their personal boundaries and have enough confidence to enforce those boundaries, even if it results in peer judgment or rejection. Teach your teens that they always have the power to choose (even when it appears otherwise), and they can say ‘no” when everyone else is saying yes. Teach them to stay empowered through clear communication, and encourage them to leave situations where boundaries might be crossed or compromised. Also, teach your kids to recognize and avoid emotional manipulation; let them know that they are not responsible for another person’s behavior or emotional reaction, and they should never compromise themselves to protect someone’s feelings. You might say something like, “You are responsible for you, and your job is to take care of yourself because no one else can do it for you.”
Own Responsibility: Since empowered choices require a high level of self-responsibility, teach your teens to take responsibility for their choices and consequences, and not give their power away by shifting responsibility or blaming someone else. As a Radical Parent, you must demonstrate self-responsibility by being responsible for all your choices and consequences, including actions, reactions, language, and moods. Therefore, you must forego excuses, such as rationalizing negative behavior or using an end-result to justify the means.
Don’t Project: Don’t project your experiences or beliefs on your teen; what was/is right for you is not necessarily right for your growing child. Instead, support each child to become his or her best self.
Encourage Self-Trust: If we want our children to think for themselves and make good ageappropriate choices, they must believe in themselves, and this requires self-trust. However, to help teens develop self-trust, you must trust them, because if you don’t, they won’t know how to trust themselves. “Parental invasion,” such as spying and eavesdropping, not only teaches teens to be defensive, paranoid and sneaky, it also demonstrates your lack of trust. Moreover, if you use your teen’s mistakes to justify distrust, it will make him feel untrustworthy, and that’s what he’ll tend to be. Conversely, the more you trust your kids, the more trustworthy they will become, and the more they will know how to trust themselves.
Follow Inner Guidance: Even more than knowledge and logical thinking, learning to listen to inner guidance is the key to making good choices. Since emotions can be powerful, intuitive guides, teach your kids to listen to their feelings, and when making choices, ask them to imagine each potential outcome and notice how it feels. Most of all, help teens identify their true voice and follow inner guidance.
Ask Empowering Questions: When parental advice is heard as lecturing or an attempt to control, teens tend to shut down and block communication. Even if you know what’s best, spewing advice often alienates teens from the get-go. Therefore, instead of lecturing about consequences, why not use thought provoking questions to explore options; for example, “What do you think might happen if …..?” Good open-ended questions invite teens to discover answers for themselves, and not only does this demonstrate your trust, it also teaches them to trust themselves; thereby building a bridge of confidence that can take them anywhere in life!
One of the greatest gifts you can give is a “question” that elicits greater awareness and inspires new ways of thinking, or enlightens potential consequences. Empowering questions open the space for increased consciousness by inviting the mind to imagine possibilities without constraints or limitations. Questions that begin with, “What if…?” are usually gems in disguise. For example, “What if you could express yourself, without fear of judgment, what would you say or do?” Although our teens might come to the same conclusion (as we would advise) when they think for themselves, answers are more meaningful, and, in the process, they develop significant life skills, such as discernment, inner guidance, and self-trust.
Adult Education: When it comes to adult subject matters, to help your teen make good choices, it’s important to get educated and open the space for conscious discussion. For instance, if your son or daughter is curious about any mature behavior, instead of just regurgitating propaganda meant to control the masses, educate yourself and encourage him or her to get educated. Then, together, discuss the benefits, dangers, effects and what to expect. Remember to explore the difference between conscious exploration and recreational thrills, and make sure to discuss the importance of a safe environment. Also, let your kids know that they can call you any time to pick them up anywhere – no questions asked!
The Contract: Although it’s not always possible, do your best to create a verbal contract, so that your teen agrees to speak to you before engaging in drugs, sex or other adult behaviors. Ideally, the contract should include a post-experience discussion as well. The post-discussion is of utmost importance because teens sometimes have new experiences that leave them feeling confused, alone or afraid. During the post-discussion, allow teens to express their thoughts and feelings without giving them a lecture or sharing your personal commentary. Once they are done sharing, your job is to help them make sense of their experiences so that they can learn about themselves, and use this knowledge for future choices. Remember, no matter the experience or outcome, avoid judgment. Even if they express regret, don’t say, “I told you so” or any version of it, because it will only make them shut-down and not trust you again. Since contracts can only be made voluntarily, don’t force your kids to agree; even if you get them to commit, forced agreements have a tendency to backfire.
Say “No” to Best Buddies: Although you may be your teen’s support system, guide, and confidant, don’t try to be a best buddy and don’t expect them to be yours. Therefore, don’t burden teens with adult concerns, don’t share personal issues, and don’t depend on them for emotional support. In fact, do your best not to behave in any way that could make your kids feel responsible for you or any adult stresses. It’s not their job to be your caregiver. Furthermore, if your teen perceives you weak or needy, you’ll lose trust, and if they feel they have to take care of you, they won’t ask for guidance. Therefore, resolve any emotional issues and other problems with an adult friend, coach or therapist.
Radical Results! As guides who support the journey from birth to adulthood, immense power has been invested in every parent, and, therefore, this power must be consciously used to raise children who become independent and empowered adults. As such, we must remember that we don’t own our children, but, rather, those entrusted to our care are simply wise beings in new bodies, and it’s our job to help them remember who they really are.
Indeed, it’s not always easy to parent an empowered teen, but it might help to remember that the behaviors commonly discouraged in adolescence often become desired attributes in adulthood, such as questioning the rules, thinking for oneself and standing for truth. Therefore, keep in mind that positive adult behaviors are best learned and cultivated during adolescence, and with the help of a Radical Parent, many empowering attributes become the foundational building blocks for life. Finally, although we may point the way and encourage authentic self-expression, we must ultimately allow our grown children to find their own path and walk their own talk. Therefore, without projecting prejudice, we must also encourage the exploration of new ideas and unique ways of living so that one day our children can fulfill their greatest dreams, and, consequently, pass on the gifts we have graciously bestowed. Even if you forget everything else, just remember one thing; be the person you want your child to be…
In love, grace & gratitude, Nanice Nanice Ellis has been a professional Life Coach for 20 years, successfully coaching women and men from all over the world. She is also an author, Theta Healer and Master Neuro Linguistic Practitioner. Helping people to make quantum jumps in their lives, Nanice’s very unique coaching style is often referred to as the “Nanice Effect”. By using powerful and proven manifestation techniques, Nanice coaches people to tap into the power of the Universe and live their dreams, bridging the gap from the imagination to the realization of that dream. She works with leaders, coaches, healers and anyone who wants to live life to the fullest. You can learn more about the coaching programs offered at: Coaching Programs with Nanice. Nanice is the author of several books, including the inspirational “The Infinite Power of You!” and “Even Gandhi Got Hungry and Buddha Got Mad!”, and her latest book, “Is There a White Elephant in Your Way? The Guidebook for Awakening and Self Empowerment” She is also the host of radio show Chai with Nanice. Her books are available at Nanice.com/6/Books and on Amazon. To connect with Nanice, visit www.Nanice.com
of Article Courtesy of DNAlysis
now understood individuals don’t ‘grow out’ of ADHD. It persists through adolescence and into adulthood – making correct treatment of the condition crucial. A breakthrough genetic test, now available in South Africa, empowers medical professionals to better prescribe ADHD medications based on patients’ DNA – for more accurate treatment and fewer side effects. Dealing with Psychotropics Psychotropic medications alter mood and behaviour by creating changes in the brain. Included in the class of psychotropic drugs are those used to treat ADHD. While prescription of ADHD medication – and other psychotropic drugs – has, until now, largely followed a ‘trial and error’ approach, genetic tests might be the solution for treating neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD. And understanding how ADHD medications are processed in the body.
Critical conditions Psychiatrist Dr Sarvani Pather recognises the need for more personalised prescription of psychotropic medications. She explains the necessity for deeper insights and enhanced treatment.
Conscious Life Magazine
“Prescribing psychotropic drugs can be difficult because of possible side effects, tolerability and because they can take time to work. This is a challenge when treating severe disorders, because patients desperately need the benefits of the medication to function in their daily lives.”
Why ADHD treatments matter An example of this, cites Pather, is the use of medications such as methylphenidate, atomoxetine, amphetamine or clonidine (amongst others), used to treat ADHD. Untreated ADHD can result in anxiety, mood and substance disorders, overall poorer quality of life – and children and adults not fulfilling their potential, explains Pather.
“Adults with untreated ADHD often have relationship difficulties, struggle to hold down
jobs and are at increased risk of car accidents,” says Pather. “Children and teenagers might suffer from low self-esteem, and ADHD can have a severe impact on their normal development. The sooner the condition is treated, the better.” Children, adults and teens depend on ADHD medication to bring normality and focus into their lives, by targeting the core symptoms of the condition – impulsivity, hyperactivity and inattention. There can be an enormous ripple effect from individuals taking the incorrect medication, or the correct medication at the incorrect dosage. And as medical professionals attempt to right the wrongs of ‘one size fits all’ prescription by changing drugs and dosages for the patient, the side effects and symptoms can intensify in the process.
The case for personalised and specific treatment of ADHD requires minimal justification. mygeneRx, a genetic test done via a simple cheek swab in the comfort of the
Conscious Life Magazine
patient’s home, tests for genetic markers that affect the metabolism of a range of ADHD medications. A deeper understanding of the patient’s DNA and how this effects the metabolism of ADHD medications in the body, gives medical professionals the ability to avoid a ‘trial and error’ approach and prescribe the right medication, at the right dose, for the right patient. “Genetic tests like mygeneRx allow for better pharmacotherapy. If we know which drugs work for an individual, the exact dose needed and likelihood of side effects before initiating treatment, we can minimise the ‘trial’ necessary before seeing a response, remission, or resolution of symptoms. This means fewer negative side effects for the individual with ADHD and – most importantly – preventing the disorder from having a negative and fundamental impact on their lives.” For more information on mygeneRx or to order a home test kit, visit www.mygeneRx.co.za.
In the last decade, advances in science have made it possible to diagnose and treat illness with greater precision than ever before. Simple, accessible genetic testing, like mygeneRx, has given healthcare practitioners the power to maximise effectiveness and minimise side effects of medicine. This is changing the world of healthcare – but not everyone knows how. Here’s what you need to know about genetics and personalised medicine:
What Does It Mean for You & Me? By Dr Daniel Meyersfeld
What is Pharmacogenomics? For a long time, medicine revolved around the best way to treat the masses – doctors prescribe the same medication to treat people with a similar condition. Pharmacogenomics promotes a more personalised approach. Pharmacogenomics harnesses genetics to predict an individual’s response to medication, leading to more effective treatment. Although there’s a long way to go in relying entirely on DNA to make medical decisions, this is a rapidly evolving field that already can provide a wealth of useful information. It’s a more effective way to practice medicine than a ‘one size fits all’ approach.
Why are genes important in treatment? Small variations in our DNA make us unique. These variations determine how proteins and enzymes are made, which in turn lead to specific enzymes working faster or slower. This impacts how medication is metabolised in the body. In certain patients, a higher or lower dosage of medication is needed, or alternative medication is better suited. Statins, for example, which are commonly prescribed to help lower cholesterol, vary in effectiveness depending on DNA.
Conscious Life Magazine
For some, they don’t work at all and instead yield negative side effects. If a doctor understands a patient’s DNA, they can avoid prescribing a drug that won’t contribute to a quick recovery.
What medications can I test for? The responsiveness of more than 150 medications across cardiovascular, pain, gastrointestinal and psychiatric medications can be made more accurate through genetic tests.
What are the benefits of genetic testing? Pioneering genetic tests like mygeneRx yield a more precise understanding of why two people might respond differently to the same medication. It’s a quantum leap towards prescribing exactly the right treatment, to the right patient, the first time. For more information about mygeneRx, visit www.mygenerx.co.za.
How advanced are genetic tests? Genetic testing and personalised medicine have an exciting impact on both clinical research and patient care. Not only will it improve health but also save time and money by avoiding a trial and error approach. These tests are applicable to children, adults and the elderly, as your DNA never changes.
Is all genetic testing invasive? The perception that genetic testing is an invasive and complicated process is misinformed. Advanced home test kits consist of a simple cheek swab that can be delivered to and collected from wherever you are. There’s nothing invasive about it.
How long will it take to get results? Because DNA samples are analysed in a lab, most people believe it’ll take months to get results. This isn’t necessarily the case. Genetic test results can be received 10 to 14 days after DNA samples reach the lab.
Can I trust genetic testers with my data? Many people fear their genetic information landing up in the wrong hands and being used by insurance companies for risk analysis or research. If you take a test through a reliable and trustworthy laboratory, information should be kept confidential and stored in a secure database only available to the patient and healthcare practitioner.
DNAlysis DNAlysis, a leader in the field of biotechnology, provides insights that enable healthcare practitioners to adopt a tailored approach to personalised patient care. The portfolio of DNAlysis genetic tests give information to improve and maintain health, for more informed, effective and safe treatment. DNAlysis products and services are distributed worldwide.
mygeneRx mygeneRx analyses genetic variants that affect the metabolism of cardiovascular, psychiatry and pain medications. The tests are able to give accurate recommendations for 150 different prescription drugs. This benefits patients starting new medication, experiencing side-effects or not responding to specific medication, to ensure the safety and efficacy of their treatment.
Dr Daniel Meyersfeld Dr Daniel Meyersfeld, founder of DNAlysis, holds a PhD in molecular biology from the University of the Witwatersrand. During his studies, he saw an opportunity to use advances in the field of human genetics to improve health and wellness. This inspired him to establish DNAlysis Biotechnology in 2007, to introduce the benefits of genetic testing to South Africa.
Conscious Life Magazine
Instead of Punishment by Donna Bryant Goertz
They came in from the playground knotted together by tight feelings for their injured friend. “He’s hurt. He fell off the slide. Ned pushed him.” Ned was supporting Bart, who was hopping along, his face squeezing out tears and his jaw clenching in sobs. Breathing heavily, pushing and stumbling, with heads bobbing and backs bent as they jockeyed for close, clear gapes at the bloody knee, Ned and Bart’s buddies accompanied them to gain the safety and reassurance that presenting the disaster to me always bestows. “Looks as if it hurts. It’s bleeding.” I put one arm around Bart’s shoulder and a hand behind his calf. “Let’s clean it up.” I think fondly of Ned and how far he has come to be helping in from the playground the child he has injured rather than fleeing to the farthest reaches after attacking out of perverse curiosity. I look at nine-year-old Ned’s face which now glows with compassionate and tender empathy. He murmurs inquiries and proffers consolation, his own face bloody-knee level and his eyes softly fixed on Bart’s face. “Bad accident?” I ask Ned. “Not exactly,” he answers. “Didn’t mean to push that hard?” I pursue. “Mmmm, can’t say that,” Ned says. “Didn’t think it would do this much harm?” I continued. “That’s not it. Just feel bad now. I don’t do these things much anymore. Just sorry.” This description of an ordinary incident in the daily lives of our children demonstrates the healing effect of our faith in the innate goodness of a child, our trust in his impulse to overcome negative behavior and to heal from within through the benefits of an environment which meets his needs. This quality of recovery and healing cannot be brought about through punishment, especially not through physical punishment, which engenders deeply buried anger at best and carefully disguised revenge at worst. The superficially improved behavior achieved through punishment only masks the child’s real feelings and makes them unavailable for remediation.
Cooperative problem solving between adult and child engages the child’s innate energies and vital instincts of self-preservation and forms a powerful partnership in benefit of the child. Punishment sets up an adversarial relationship between adult and child within which the child’s urgent and relentless drives of self-interest are placed in conflict with the adult’s legitimate and essential guidance of the child. In the case of Ned, described above, we see the results of a three year process of working through the violence of a child driven by an unbridled perverse curiosity and an absence of impulse control. Ned was hooked on the self-indulgence of hurting others for the mere experience of hurting others. He enjoyed the strange mix of feelings evoked by his urge to hurt someone, his pity for the person, his temptation to indulge, his resistance of the temptation, his eventual yielding, the pleasure of inflicting pain, the guilt, the overall pleasure in the sequence and mixture of the whole affair. It appealed to his lively intelligence, his perverse curiosity and his intense sensitivity. It also masked the relentlessness of his pain. To break this cycle, Ned’s full partnership and participation were required. Punishment would have pitted Ned and me against one another. We would have wasted valuable time and energy matching wits and competing, countering and reacting, and generally trying to outmaneuver each other. He would have developed layers of disguises with his sophisticated and wily intelligence. We would have gradually but certainly diverged in our goals until Ned either became “incorrigible” or until he was “reformed.” We know what incorrigible means. What does reformed mean when it is a result of punishment? It means “I surrender.” It means “you win.” But the child never really surrenders. He just goes underground. He presents himself as compliant and socially adjusted. But when he is very, very tired or under intense pressure, or any time he calculates that he will not get caught, the buried emotion rises and the repressed behavior re-emerges. Ned’s potency would have been dangerous in disguise or underground but in partnership with me it was a creative force for healthy growth. My task was to enter into Ned’s reality, decipher his code, scan for his guiding star and follow it with him. Then I could see what path he had chosen and how he might be strengthened to find a better path without forsaking his star. For Ned, the star was his exceptional intelligence wedded to a throbbing sensitivity. The mean path he had chosen, which easily could have turned cruel, was one he stumbled upon to deaden the pain of a tortured family life and an intelligence blocked from its legitimate expression through academic pursuits. Focusing the loose cannon of his randomly aimed and rapidly firing attention and breaking the code of written language were the challenges Ned faced in removing the roadblocks from his true path. While assisting Ned to spare his classmates and supporting his classmates to remain open to Ned, I began a high intensity partnership with him to seek out and proclaim his every second of increase in focused attention, his every cramped and twisted pencil stroke, each sight-read or sounded-out syllable and each and every incident of kindness on his part. Slowly the group of children began to coalesce and disperse in changing ebbs and flows of support and friendship for Ned. It asked a lot of them. The children were tested and found wanting at times. But many other times they came shining through. When one child would grow tired of sitting beside Ned, we would ask, “Who will trade places with Nora? She needs a rest from sitting next to Ned.” “I really like Ned, she would avow, and I want to sit next to him again someday, but it is hard work and right now I need a break.”
How To Keep Your Heart Open When You’re Angry By Lissa Rankin MD
It’s easy to talk about opening your heart when everyone is getting along. When you’re with your best friend, who has just built a cocoon around you because you just got your heart broken, and your bestie then climbs into the cocoon to hold you in her arms like a mother, your heart is likely to feel so open that honey just pours right out of it all over the floor. It’s easy to keep your heart open when you’re with your child, who just told you the story about how she used to be a fairy who sat on your shoulder while you meditated until she became sad that you couldn’t hear her say “I love you”•in real life. When she tells you how one day she decided to fly into your vagina, deposit her fairy wings in your heart so you’d always have fairy magic, and then hobble over to your uterus so she could grow into a baby who would be able to grow up and say, “I love you,”•your heart melts like chocolate chips in a hot stove. When the object of your undying affection, down on one knee and holding a bouquet of roses, confesses that he’s been madly in love with you for years and just can’t hold it in anymore, you’re unlikely to amour up your heart.
Check in with your heart right now. How does it feel?
When The Heart Gets Challenged It’s easy to keep your heart open when it feels safe and nurtured. But what about the other times? How good are you at keeping your heart open with your fellow human beings when planes crash into your country’s beloved landmarks and kill thousands of innocent beings? Can you keep your heart open when your abusive mother abandons you? Can you keep giving those you love permission to break your heart when your heart keeps aching from loss, longing, abandonment, and betrayal?
Can you keep giving those you love permission to break your heart when your heart keeps aching from loss, longing, abandonment, and betrayal? Can you keep your heart open when your beloved pets keep dying? What about when you’re trying to keep your heart open with those you work with in your professional life, but the knuckleheads in charge of the purse strings keep insisting that you sell out your integrity, seemingly with no concern for the well-being of those you’re trying to serve? Can you keep your heart open when politicians threaten to withhold resources from inner-city children in public schools, women who are victims of domestic violence, the mentally ill homeless population, women who are sold into sex trafficking, or uninsured children who need medical care?
How does your heart feel now?
The True Test Of The Open Heart If you’re like most people, you most likely find that it’s easy to open your heart with those who leave your heart feeling safe, respected, appreciated, and honored. But the real test comes when you learn to keep your heart open even when your heart feels threatened. Consider the knucklehead that wants to thwart the doctor’s ability to open his heart with his patients. Should he get pissy at the mucky mucks that are getting in the way of him doing the right thing with his patients? Or should he find a place within his own heart to have compassion for the closed part of the mucky muck’s heart that is thwarting him? Should the woman whose mother abandoned her in childhood accept her mother into her heart and her life when that mother shows up at her wedding and asks to be forgiven? When you find yourself feeling righteous, angry, entitled, or victimized by the actions of another, can you find within you any seed of softness? Some place deep within that recognizes how much pain that person must be in, how burdened their soul must be, how deeply armored they must be in their heart in order to behave in a way that is surely out of alignment with their own integrity? Can you begin to touch the suffering of your fellow human beings and meet them at the place of their suffering, rather than judging them, criticizing them, dismissing them, or making them wrong? Can you find within your soft, human heart the ability to open when you feel inclined to close? Can you forgive? Can you approach those people as a healer, knowing that in order to behave in the abominable ways they have, they must be hurting? Can you greet them in the hurting, knowing that we all have our wounds, we are all flawed, and we’re all doing the best we can?
Do another heart check. What’s your status?
It’s Not About Condoning The Behavior Keeping your heart open when the knuckleheads are being knuckleheady or the sociopaths need jail time, doesn’t mean you’re giving anyone your stamp of approval. But it does mean that keeping an open heart requires radical acts of compassion in order to keep you out of the ego trap of righteousness, anger and revenge. It doesn’t mean you can’t set boundaries that protect you from dangerous or even just plain mean people. But it does mean that if you wind up responding in ways that are just as unkind as those you’re judging, you’re missing the opportunity to live from the heart in a way that brings more peace and joy into your life and heals the world while you’re at it (no biggie). I know it’s a lot to ask. It’s so much easier to fall into righteous anger when you don’t get your way or when people are thwarting you in your commitment to opening your heart to those who need your love. But if we open our hearts only when it’s easy, aren’t we failing to model what a true open heart looks and feels like for those who hurt us?
Are You Willing To Go All The Way With Your Open Heart? Will you practice radical acts of heart-opening? Next time you get your feathers in a bunch, might you try to find your compassion for the suffering in another? Next time you get on your high horse, might you get off and sit crosslegged on the ground and ask the person you’re upset with to meet you there? I know it’s scary. But I dare you…
Inviting you to explore an even more expansive heart,
Lissa Rankin MD is a mind-body medicine physician, founder of the Whole Health Medicine Institute training program for physicians and healthcare providers, and the New York Times bestselling author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself. She is on a grass roots mission to heal healthcare, while empowering you to heal yourself. Lissa blogs at www.LissaRankin.com and also created two online communities – HealHealthCareNow.com and OwningPink.com. She is also the author of two other books, a speaker, a professional artist, an amateur ski bum, and an avid hiker. She lives in the San Francisco Bay area with her husband and daughter.
One of the few times you don’t want your child to share, is when they have a cold. The cold is the most common infectious disease in people; there are hundreds of viruses that cause them and we cannot hope to build up immunity to them all. When someone in your household goes down with a cold, the only thing you can do is minimise your chances of catching it too. Keep your hands clean It’s important to keep your hands as clean as possible; not only yours, but your child’s too. Encourage your child to practice proper hand hygiene by making it fun – hand-washing games with fun-shaped soaps, or the use of reward charts, can help you achieve this.
Use tissues The most hygienic way to contain germs when we cough and sneeze is to use tissues, and they should be thrown away immediately after use. If there are no tissues available, then the crook of your elbow is the next best option. Don’t use your hands, otherwise they will be covered with germs and you may not be able to wash them straight away.
Don’t share food Don’t be tempted to share food, drink of eating utensils with your child – the virus that causes colds can be transferred by saliva.
Eat chicken soup Chicken soup is not only good for the soul, it’s good for combating the effects of colds too. Its warm liquid can help soothe sore throats and unblock stuffy noses – make sure you have some tissues handy! Chicken soup containing vegetables is packed with vitamins and antioxidants which can help charge up the immune system and help fight infection.
Drink lots of fluids Drinking lots of fluids will help keep you hydrated – it won’t flush the cold and flu germs out of your system, but will help you to feel better. Warm drinks such as herbal tea, clear broth, and hot water with honey and lemon are all soothing and will help ease congestion. Avoid coffee and alcohol though, as these drinks will dehydrate you. If you really can’t persuade your child to drink herbal teas etc, then warm juice makes a good alternative.
Eat nutrient-rich foods If your child has a cold or you feel like you might be coming down with one, tweak your diet. You should be eating mostly nutrition-rich foods, especially fruits and veggies, which are packed with vitamins to keep your immune system functioning at its best. Juices can be nourishing, too – just lay off concentrated and sugary varieties.
Keep your distance If you can, try to ensure that your child stays in their room as much as possible to keep the germs contained within a small area. If this isn’t possible, make sure everyone keeps their distance instead and difficult as it may be, NO hugs or goodnight kisses until they’re better.
Get enough good sleep Studies have shown that lack of sleep has a big impact on our immune system – an average of less than seven hours sleep a night will triple your chances of catching a cold. Equally, it’s been proven that good quality, deep sleep has restorative benefits.
Raising Kids Positively Raising Kids Positively is all about improving your relationship with your children, growing their emotional intelligence, and a balance of kind and firm discipline. Psychologist Carol Surya makes this easy with her new website www.raisingkidspositively.com and three easy-to-use routes: a childrenâ€™s self-esteem game, a conscious parenting book and workshops. InnerMagic Perfect for todayâ€™s busy families, is a game to consciously spend more quality time together, without devices or distractions. Expertly designed for selfreflection, self-expression and empowerment, InnerMagic benefits include teaching emotional intelligence while also strengthening all areas of development as you play! Everyone loves it because it gets all players moving, thinking and speaking. Magically encouraging children to talk more easily, develop critical thinking and practice making healthy choices. Ideal for parents, grandparents and educators to play with 5 to 13 year olds.
Order yours today and be reminded of your inner potential. All information available on
www.raisingkidspositively.com Email : email@example.com Phone: (044) 533-5655 Mobile:: 071 671 6337
The Magic of Mindfulness Author Carmen Clews has found a magical way to bring mindfulness into your home and school! “The Magic Mat and its little secret…” is a delightful children’s book (with free DVD animation) offering fun, physical stretching and calming techniques to develop happy, relaxed, loving and healthy children. Used as a story at bedtime, or done actively with the DVD at home or as a group activity in the classroom - with regular use the benefits are magical. Children relax more, improving in balance and co-ordination, as well as memory, focus, patience and selfcontrol. Readers (age 5 to 12) hop on board their very own Magic Mat, transforming them into animals with various beautiful qualities. Finally, they relax, discovering their own higher selves, learning to feel love, compassion and gratitude. Read what buyers say about this magical tool kit, visit the Facebook page, watch the video clip – or simply order yours today.
The Planting Seeds for Life Education Series, also by Carmen Clews, teaches mindfulness and positive values to children aged 10 to 14 years. Enchanting African stories guide the reader through group discussions, visualizations, songs and other learning activities all aimed at improving well-being. The book’s 25 “seeds”, each written as a lesson plan, include the essential life skills of making wise choices; improving communication; managing emotions; problem solving; forgiveness; positive thinking; self-reliance and environmental conservation. If only we’d all learned these skills at school.
Contact details : Website : www.magicmatsecret.com Email : firstname.lastname@example.org Video : http://vimeo.com/100388148 Magic Mat Seeds for Life
10 Winter Tips To Save Energy While Keeping Warm By Cj Matticks
Winter time is normally the time of year that our electricity bills soar. Last year was a particularly bad one for us. I used the oven a lot for meals and then would leave it running for about 30 mins more after cooking to keep the open plan section downstairs warm - bad idea no 1. Bad idea no 2 was using the oil heater at night while we slept so that we didn’t freeze. Well I certainly learnt my lesson with the extra grand that it cost me per month!! This year, we have been a lot wiser and I am certain that it is paying off.
Tip Number 1 – Close Up at Night
Tip Number 4 – Layer Up
Instead of turning up the heat in your home at night time, simply close all windows and curtains. If you have pets, lock them in at night. It’s safer for them and it will keep them nice and warm too. If you have dogs, its actually better for them to be inside in terms of keeping you safe and alerting you of possible intruders. Just let them out about 30mins before bed time to do their business. If you , like me, have cats, simply get them a cat sand tray or two.
There is no point in wearing light clothing and then running a heater and electric blanket all night to stay warm. We have found that the old adage of layering your clothes, helps us a lot, greatly reducing the amount of time that heaters need to be on, if at all. We in fact use the panel heater in our room only once a week, if that. The only other room with a heater now, is the spare room (my mom stays over at us quite often).
Tip Number 5 – Duvet Heaven Tip Number 2 – Close Inside Doors Close the doors of rooms that are not being used. We close the door of our spare room and the adjacent bathroom at night. We also close our en-suite bathroom when it gets really cold.
Tip Number 3 – Open Up in the Day Depending on how much sun your home gets in the day, many of our houses are north facing, I find that opening the windows in the in the day. really helps to bring the warmer air in from outside. Remember to close them just before dusk if you can. This tip may not help you if you get home after dark. Conscious Life Magazine July 2017
We have found that for two of us in the bed at night, a summer thickness microfibre duvet underneath a summer comforter, are perfect for warmth. If you are single, you may need to add a warm fluffy blanket under the duvets. Sleeping like this is way better for you and your circulation, than using an electric blanket. If you love your electric blanket though, only use it to warm your bed up before you get in.
Tip Number 6 – Geyser Timer & Blanket We had the team from Saving Energy install our geyser timer and blanket about a month ago and we are loving it!! There is so much
benefit in having a geyser timer, as discussed in last month’s Green Living Section. The installation process was quick and easy and the team were in and out in less than 30mins.
Tip Number 8 - Blankets love Movies
Our geyser is now set to go on at 6am and off at 8am (I work from home mostly and get up around 7am – giving the geyser enough time to heat up if I choose to shower in the morning.) Typically speaking, we generally shower at night, so there is not too much need to have the geyser on in the morning. Also, the geyser blanket keeps it nice and hot throughout the night anyway.
Extra thick socks work wonders too.
At night we have the geyser set to switch on at 5pm and then off again at 8pm. The geyser is now only on for a total of 5 hours a day vs 24 hours a day. Another perk is that we have become even more careful with our water usage.
Tip Number 7 – Steam It Up When showering, or bathing (the latter is infrequent for us), we close the door to the bathroom allowing it to steam up a little. Our en-suite has an extractor fan connected to the light switch, so I find that a candle light shower is best – really relaxing too. Dry and dress in the bathroom if it’s particularly cold. Once you open the door, the steam is able to escape into the rest of the house which is great if you are in the dry Highveld. Otherwise you can always open the bathroom window to let it escape quickly. We also try to use a bucket in the shower (the type used to hold drinks at a party). You simply stand in the bucket while showering., turning off the water while lathering. The water is then thrown into the garden, reducing the need to water. We find that showering at night just before bed time is best in winter as you get into bed nice and warm.
Instead of turning on a heater to watch TV, a Movie or reading a book, grab a blanket and wrap up for a nice cuddly experience.
Tip Number 9 – Hot Hydration Winter is the perfect time to enjoy hot drinks. Some of my fave’s are, My T Chai’s Dairy Free Instant Chai Tea Mix, a nice cuppa hot tea, and yummy hot cocoa. I have found that buying a tub of cocoa and simply adding hot water, a little sugar and milk/almond milk works beautifully and cuts out all those additives.
Tip Number 10 – Cuddle Up Winter gives us the perfect excuse to get cuddly with our loved ones. I am not only talking about couples, if you are a parent cuddle with your kids , if you are a fur-baby mommy or daddy – cuddle with your four legged children! We barely have space to move in the bed at night sometimes as the cats pin us down on all sides. My one baby, Max, particularly loves to cuddle under the blankets. And if you are alone at home, no worries, get a nice hot water bottle or two, just watch that you don’t fill it all the way up and that you close it properly.
Your 15 Mins of Fame: Take the Challenge – try out these tips this month, tell us how the experience was for you. Email us your letter/mini journal and any tips you may have, by the 20th of July as to and we may even publish it! Email me: email@example.com Subject line: My Winter Energy Saving Challenge Until next month – Adios and keep warm
Conscious Life Magazine
Enter to WIN A Year’s Supply* of Almond Breeze Almond Milk!
Looking for a low-kilojoule alternative to milk? Almond Breeze Almond Milk is a must-have if you’re looking to incorporate a healthier dairy alternative into your lifestyle. With great health benefits, Almond Breeze is a lactose-free alternative to dairy and can be used in cereals, smoothies, coffee, in cooking and baking or simply enjoy a delicious glass on its own. Almond Breeze will provide one lucky winner a chance to win a year’s worth of Almond Breeze Almond Milk. To Enter: 1. Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org Subject: Almond Breeze 2. Answer this Question: According to Dr Kahn’s Article in this issue, on Switching to Almond Milk: What vitamins and minerals are found in Almond Milk? 3. Elect 3 friends to receive Conscious Life Magazine for free by including their email addresses. Terms & Conditions: *(Based on an average consumption of 1L a week). Cases to be delivered to the winner’s physical address during office hours. The winner can select which variant they prefer, either Almond Breeze Unsweetened or Original. The Competition Ends on the 31st of July 2017 at 12pm. The judge’s decision is final. The competition is not open to directors, agents, employees or consultants of Blue Diamond Growers or Conscious Life Magazine. The competition is not open to readers who reside outside of South Africa or those who have won a prize with us in the last 6 months.
Conscious Life Magazine MAY-JUNE 2017
Weight-loss is often right up there on the list of the average individual’s concerns, and certainly what I get asked about the most. The tricky thing with individual weight-loss is just that: we are all individuals. Reasons for weight-gain differ vastly across people, based on their habits, eating patterns, stress and activity levels, and there is certainly no one-size-fits-all plan for tackling them. That said, here are my four general weightloss tips that everyone stands to benefit from.
1. Variety: Our bodies adapt quickly. It’s essential to keep yours guessing by varying your workouts and eating as much as possible. This breaks through fitness and weight-loss plateaus – and keeps you interested and motivated as well. Opt for a balanced diet of a variety of foods, aiming for as many colours as possible on the plate.
2. Intensity: HIIT (high intensity interval training) is the most efficient way to blast fat and tone up. This means shorter workouts of challenging, explosive sets of resistance or cardiovascular training back-to-back, with short – sometimes active – rests.
3. Add veggies: If this is the one change you make to your diet, it may be the only one you need. Our veggie quota of roughly 4-5 helpings is almost
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never met. Focusing less on what to take out your diet, and more on reaching this quota is one of the most successful strategies for weight-loss. You’ll be surprised how little space is left in your stomach after you’ve worked to include all the veggies we need in a day! This is a healthy approach that focuses on increasing nutritional quality in your diet, rather than deprivation.
4. Smart carbs: Refined carbs and added sugar sneak their way into so many of our daily meals. A conscious effort to limit these and rather take in a healthy balance of complex, low GI whole carbs – think starchy vegetables, brown rice and oats – will remove a lot of the dead weight in your diet that typically ends up being stored as fat.
5. Identifying excess: Identifying the biggest contributors to your weight-gain is a must, and they are usually the
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things we do repeatedly or in excess. Do you have multiple cups of tea a day with a few sugars each time? Are you getting dramatically less than the weekly recommended minutes of exercise? Does every weekend include a big night out with handfuls of drinks? Are you prone to something sweet after dinner every evening? These habits are going to differ sizeably amongst individuals, but it is these personal habits that have the most impact on results. Spend some time identifying the few routine things you believe have the most impact on your weight and moderate them accordingly. 6. Consistency: Forget the all-or-nothing approach! Generally sticking to a sensible training and eating schedule will serve you far better than going flat out for a few weeks then throwing in the towel for long stretches in between. Slow and steady fat-loss is also the key to keeping it off long-term – deprivation is always short-lived.
Potato Pancakes Potato Pancakes Baking potatoes, often called russet or Idaho potatoes, make the best potato pancakes. Potato pancakes are a perfect example of how a few simple ingredients can make a satisfying breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Serves 4 - 6.
Ingredients • • • • • • • • •
3 baking potatoes Peeled (about 4½ cups grated potatoes) 1 green onion thinly sliced 2 eggs beaten ¾tsp salt ¾cup whole wheat flour ¼tsp freshly ground black pepper 1tbsp vegetable oil Additional vegetable oil for cooking 1cup sour cream (optional)
Instructions Grate peeled potatoes directly into a bowl of water. Transfer the grated potatoes into a colander and press them to squeeze out as much liquid as possible. In a bowl, mix together the eggs, salt, pepper, and vegetable oil. Add the flour, whisking to combine. Add the potatoes and sliced green onion and mix well. Heat a skillet over high heat. Spread a small amount of oil evenly over the surface. Spoon about 2 tablespoons of the potato mixture to form each potato pancake. Flatten the pancakes with a spatula and cook until dark golden brown on both sides and cooked through. Serve immediately topped with applesauce and sour cream, if using.
Injera Injera Traditional Ethiopian food is famous for hot spicy food served on top of a soft pancake-like bread called injera. True injera is made from a very nutritious grain called teff, but whole wheat and white flours work too. The soft warm bread is delicious with Ethiopian Lentils, couscous, and cool creamy cucumbers! Makes 14 5-inch injera.
• • • • • • • • •
In a bowl, combine the water and yeast. Let sit for 2 minutes, until the yeast has dissolved. Stir in the honey. Gradually add the teff or millet flour, white flour, whole wheat flour, salt, and baking soda, whisking to form a smooth batter. Stir in the oil and let the batter sit for 15 minutes. Heat a griddle to medium high. Ladle ¼ cup of the batter onto the griddle, spreading the batter to form a thin pancake-like bread. Cook until bubbles form and the bread is slightly dry. Turn and lightly brown the second side. Remove to a plate, cover, and serve warm.
1¾cups warm water ½tsp baking yeast 1tsp honey ¼cup teff flour or millet flour ½cup unbleached white flour ½cup whole wheat flour ¼tsp salt ¼tsp baking soda ½tsp vegetable oil
Conscious Life Magazine
STIFF JOINTS? ARTHRITIS? LAME OR IN PAIN? If your pet is suffering with problems of movement, associated with damage to the musculo-skeletal system? YOU can help him! We have developed a range of medicines aimed at the control of joint disease and lameness in general. ECO-JOINT exerts an effect on tendons and ligaments in, or close to all joints, including sacro-iliacs. Reduces swelling and inflammation and joint stiffness. ECO-ARTH has been formulated to heal and restore function quickly, and encourages cartilage regeneration. Indicated for carpal and hock chips and spurs. ECO-BONE for â€˜kissing spinesâ€™ & spondylitis. Should be used as a preventative medicine in rapid growing animals. ECO-LAME for back problems where pain is related to nerve irritations. ECO-HEAL for pain, recovery & emergencies, and ECO-GERIAT to assist older animals to loosen-up. Please visit our website to see our full range, varying from skin conditioners to heart medication. Email us and we can assist you with choosing the right medicine for his condition. www.ecovet.co.za 0860 326 838 email@example.com
By Claudia Graunke
There’s something about horses that you either get or don’t. I had no fear of horses as a young child – they intrigued me. There was nothing my teacher asked me to do, that I was not ready to try. Having my first experience at the age of 3 now 18 years later, I run my own riding yard and I have 13 horses of my own. I know that every one of my students would agree – there is truly something special about our equine friends. It’s not just because of the therapeutic benefits or physical benefits. There isn’t one horse, who has not left his/her mark on my life – who has not taught me something about myself and made me a better communicator with them. For me, horsemanship starts not in the jumping arena – it starts the moment that child’s feet hit the ground when they arrive at a yard.
It then develops as they learn to respect each horse for the individual that they are and respecting everyone that cares for the horses.
There are a few disciplines that I believe come with the package of riding. It’s been proven that horse riding helps children improve memory, and develop problem solving skills. Riding in a saddle and staying on, means that your child has had to develop strong physical and cognitive abilities.
Because it’s a live sentient being you are dealing with, even just tacking up, means that you need to focus on what you are doing. Whatever problem the child had in his or her day, riding will soon get them to forget it and be fully present in the NOW.
It’s also about teaching students to work with their horse in such a way that it becomes a relationship of cooperation and trust. You are trusting your life with an animal that can weigh over 600kg. As you learn to know horses, you appreciate that he/she trusts you enough to let you climb onto his/her back. Seeing a horse bring out the best in a child that used to be listless and bored with life – children with truly no sense of purpose – is an amazingly rewarding privilege. And that’s why I do what I do. I know that horses have much much more to teach us, than we can ever imagine.
We lead increasingly busy lives. juggling work, family, personal issues and day-to-day general â€˜stuffâ€™. Our energy can feel unbalanced at any time even on the best of days and sometimes stressful situations can totally throw us out of sync. Holistic healing is a wonderful way of balancing your body mind and spirit. Everything is made up of energy. When we are stressed or unbalanced, our entire environment is affected, including our family, pets and our living or working environment. Our animal companions are highly sensitive beings. Their energy centres are easily thrown out of balance by negative energy in the home, i.e. noise, arguments, work stress, loss of a family member and even moving house, which can be extremely stressful for everyone involved. Reiki helps to balance our animal friends and give them a sense of calm and balance, helping them to stay healthy and relaxed, even in the most stressful of situations..
Our homes can also be affected by negativity, creating stagnant energies in our own living space. Space clearing, a specialised area of Feng Shui, can help to restore positive energy and movement into these stagnant areas, creating peace and calm â€“ restoring the natural balance within your home, your sanctuary. A three-part healing experience for you and your animal companions, cleansing all the negative energies within your home environment. Ann-Marie Kelly Mobile: 082 579 9478 firstname.lastname@example.org
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EVERY HOME NEEDS A LOVING PET! THERE ARE SO MANY BEAUTIFUL ANIMALS WAITING TO BE ADOPTED â€“ PLEASE REACH OUT! WE ALSO ENCOCURAGE YOU TO REACH INTO YOUR HEARTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE AND REALLY NEED OUR HELP.
Fundraising evening in Aid of Logan Muller Public Âˇ Hosted by Micro Miracle Foundation
Details 4 July at 19:00â€“22:00
Parkers comedy & jive Montecasino, Montecasino Blvd, 2196 Johannesburg, Gauteng R160.00 per person and it includes: LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE!! Come and enjoy the night with the best comedians. Free glass of champagne! Awesome gifts to win with the raffle tickets. Auctions. SMOKING LOUNGE INSIDE! Tequila sold at the bar for only R15.00! Menu is available. Email me and I'll forward it to you. All profits will go to our beneficiary Logan Muller with Microcephaly.
PAWS R US (SA) is looking for INVESTORS – help us BUILD THE DREAM of our “HAPPY PLACE”! After 6 years in animal welfare/rescue, PAWS R US (SA) has moved into the LINBER KENNELS facility out in the Tarlton area, JHB. It is time to spread our wings, create a permanent home, and contribute more effectively to both the cause and effects linked to animal welfare/rescue in SA. Our dream is to build the LINBER KENNELS facility into a top-notch rescue, rehabilitation and rehoming haven for rescue dogs. We also want to establish a home-base for our EDUCATION campaigns, so that we can work with the youth in returning to the core value of COMPASSION and RESPECT for Self and All Life. To make this dream a reality, we need to BUY the LINBER KENNELS site. And to get that done, we need to find INVESTORS and PARTNERS who want to contribute to something greater than themselves, and help make a real, immediate and practical difference in a world that has lost its way. The PAWS R US (SA) TRUST has been created as a legal entity – and we now look to spread the net open wide and “go on the hunt” for kindred spirits who want to help build something GOOD. We need INVESTORS of the HEART and MIND – those who want to protect the vulnerable, educate the youth of tomorrow, and know that their investment has directly uplifted lives and communities. CONTACT: For all enquiries and details related to this search for INVESTORS, and the implications for each INVESTOR within the Trust, please email us on email@example.com
The Wonderful World of Disney on Ice Disney On Ice will return to South Africa in 2017 for the sixth time with The Wonderful World of Disney On Ice!. With tickets now available, families will be able to celebrate magic, spirit, and fun as an extraordinary lineup of Disney stories come to life in Johannesburg, Cape Town and, for the very first time, Durban! Ticketpro Dome, Johannesburg . 30 June – 9 July Durban’s ICC Arena . 13 July – 16 July GrandWest, Cape Town . 19 July – 23 July
Presented by Feld Entertainment Inc and leading local promoter, Showtime Management The Wonderful World of Disney On Ice! opens on Friday, 30 June 2017 at the Ticketpro Dome, Johannesburg and runs until Sunday, 09 July 2017. The production then moves to Durban’s ICC Arena from Thursday, 13 July to Sunday, 16 July and then to GrandWest, Cape Town from Wednesday, 19 July to Sunday, 23 July 2017. Tickets are on sale at Computicket.
Join Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Goofy as they walk down memory lane and reawaken Disney moments that span generations. Dive deep into the East Australian Current with your favorite school of fish from Disney Pixar's Finding Dory when Dory, Nemo and Marlin set off on an adventure to discover the true meaning of family. Travel to the wintry world of Arendelle with Anna and Elsa and the hilarious snowman Olaf from Disney’s Frozen as they learn how powerful a love between sisters can be. Reach for your dreams with Rapunzel, as her determination illuminates her inner strength. Experience the beauty of Walt Disney’s first animated feature film, as Snow White creates her own happily ever after with the help of seven, new friends. Buzz and Woody will have you jumping out of your seat in a foot-stomping hoedown; Simba, Timon and Pumbaa prowl the Pride Lands of Africa; Jasmine, Aladdin and Genie show how friendship is fearless; and your favorite Disney Princesses take to the ice to showcase the courage and determination that led them to achieve their dreams. For the past six years South African audiences have been thrilled by the excitement of the various Disney On Ice shows. “Each year, the show is a completely different production and, based on the audience appreciation, we believe Disney On Ice is fast becoming a regular annual event on the South African winter events calendar,” says Tony Feldman from Showtime Management. “We are pleased to extend the 2017 Disney On Ice SA tour to share the magic of Disney On Ice in Durban for the first time.” The production concludes with a captivating parade of classic and modern Disney characters, bringing the production to a final culmination of excitement and adventure. With an extraordinary lineup of hit songs, memorable scenes and timeless characters, The Wonderful World of Disney On Ice has a story for every generation.
The Wonderful World of Disney On Ice is a not-to-be-missed family winter school holiday outing. Book now at Computicket by calling 0861 915 8000, visit www.computicket.com or your nearest Computicket service centre. Patrons are asked to please note that owing to safety regulations each person, irrespective of age (including babes in arms and children under two years) must have a purchased ticket. To discover more about Disney On Ice, log on to www.disneyonice.co.za or visit us on Facebook and YouTube.
Blue Sky News is a kids friendly newsletter (A3 folded to A4 full colour) distributing (personally by each franchisee) on a monthly basis to over 300 schools into school bags, in the Gauteng area. We currently have franchises covering Midrand/Centurion/Fourways/Houghton/Sandton 40000 copies collectively. If you interested in becoming part of our team OR if parents/kids/families are your target market & you would be interested in advertising with us OR would like to distribute or subscribe to our newsletters then check out our website www.blueskynews.co.za and/or Facebook page Contact firstname.lastname@example.org for more info, we would love to hear from you!
with much appreciation to our advertisers, contributors, endorsers and our readers namaste
Positive Parenting June/July edition filled with articles to make life easier for parents. Read the awesome eye-opening article on Radical P...
Published on Jun 28, 2017
Positive Parenting June/July edition filled with articles to make life easier for parents. Read the awesome eye-opening article on Radical P...