TABLE OF CONTENTS
Initialwriter’sReflection-Page3
BioPoemDrafts-Page4
BioPoemreflection-Page6
WhereI’mFromPoemDrafts-Page7
WhereI’mFromPoemReflection-Page11
WhereI’mFromPoemIllustration-Page13
RhetoricalLetterstoSelf-Page14
RhetoricalAnalysis#1-Page15
RhetoricalAnalysis#2-Page18
RhetoricalAnalysis#3-Page20
FinalRevisedRhetoricalAnalysis-Page22
RhetoricalPrecisFarenheit451-Page25
ResponsetoTextFahrenheit451-Page26
TechnologyOveruseOpinionPiece-Page28
ReflectiononmyTechnologyOveruseOpinionPiece-Page37
NarrativePieceonHowtoGetReadyforSchool-Page39
ReflectionformyNarrativePieceonHowtoGetReadyforSchool-Page42
SemesterOneWriterśReflection-44
INITIAL WRITER’S REFLECTION:
1.Ibelievethequalitiesofagoodwritercanvaryinmanydifferentsituations.Itdependswhat workthatwriterisdeveloping,orwhattonetheyaretryingtoemanatefromthattypeoftext.It takesskillforwriterstocommunicateexactlywhattheywanttoforthataudienceorreader.They alsoneedtobeabletomakecorrectwordchoices,andbereadytomakequickornecessary changestotheirwork.
2.Whenwritingtextthatposesdifficulty,Isometimesfeelstressedandbegintogetfrustrated. ThisisbecauseIknowtheassignmentthatIshouldbedoing,butwhatIamtryingto communicatesometimesgetslostintranslation.Forthesereasons,whenI'mwritingIfeelthatI needveryspecificinstructionssoIknowexactlywhatisexpectedofme.
3.IfIamwritingandhavetroublewithsomething,Iusuallytrytositbackandtakeadeep breathandassessmyproblem;andwhatIcandotoresolveit.SometimesIcandoverywelland getonarollandwriteexactlywhatIwant,butothertimesIgetasortofwriter'sblockandget stuck.Itusuallydoesn'tgettoobadthatIhavetoswitchwhatIamdoing,becauseifIamdoing anassignmentforacertainclass,Iliketogetitdonebeforeswitchingwork.
4.Indifficulty,IwouldsuggestotherstotakeastepbackandtakeadeepbreathlikeImentioned Idoaswell.Inmomentswhereweareconfusedorexperiencingdifficulty,itishardtoget anythingdownonthepaperatall;muchratherthanvaluableinformation.Aftertakingthisstep back,youcantryandresetyourmindandcompletethatcurrentthought.
5.AsawriterIfeellikeImaymakeassignmentsharderformyselfthanIneedto.ForexampleI wanttogetagoodgrade,butIstressoutoverlittlethingsthatshouldbecompletedeasieror quickerthanhowIcompletethemmyself.Onthepositivesidethough,IfeelthatIusethebest wordchoiceandproducethebestfinaldraftIcan.
BIO POEM DRAFTS:
FirstDraft
Clare
Open-minded,determined,inclusive,supportive
DaughterofPatriciaandTimothyHeinze
Wholovedsports,friends,andspendingtimewithherlovedones
Whohatedrudeness,enjoyedrelaxing,andlikedthewayothershelpedeachother
Whofearedthatunsatisfactorytimeswouldcontinue,fearedthatlifewouldnotfeelnormalagain, andfearedthatshewouldnotbegoodenough
Whochangedherteamwhileshehelpedthemwiththeirskills,andmadeabetterteamasawhole
Whowantedtoseeherselfbehappy,andcreateagoodplaceforeveryonetolivein
LivinginGranbyConnecticut
Heinze
SecondDraft
Clare
Open-minded,determined,inclusive,supportive
DaughterofPatriciaandTimothyHeinze
Wholovedsports,friends,andspendingtimewithherlovedones
Whodislikesrudeness,enjoyedrelaxing,andlikedthewayothershelpedeachother
Whofearsthatunsatisfactorytimeswouldbetheretostay,fearedthatlifewouldnotfeelnormal again,andfearedthatshewouldnotliveuptoherpotential
Whobenefitedherteamasshegavegreatadviceontheirskills,andcreatesawell-gelledgroup
altogether
Whohopedtoseeherselfbehappy,andleaveapositiveinfluenceontheworldwhilecreatinga comfortableplaceforeveryone
LivinginGranbyConnecticut
Heinze
FinalDraft
Clare
DaughterofPatriciaandTimothyHeinze
Wholovessports,friends,andspendingtimewithherlovedones
Whodislikesrudeness,enjoys relaxing,andfindshappinessinthewayothershelpedeachother
Whofearsthatunsatisfactorytimeswouldbetheretostay,fearsthatlifewouldnotfeel normal again,andthatshewouldnotliveuptoher“potential”
Whobenefitsherteamasshegaveadviceontheirskills,andwishestocreateawell-gelledgroup
altogether
Whohopedtoseeherselffeelhappy,andleaveapositiveinfluenceontheworldwhilecreatinga comfortableenvironmentforeveryone
BorninConnecticutandresidinginGranbyConnecticut
Heinze
BIO POEM REFLECTION:
1. Whatweresomedecisions&revisionsyoumade?Why?
SomedecisionsandrevisionsImadeinbetweendraftsincludedoneslikemakingmore meticulouswordchoicesthatwouldcreateabetterunderstandingofmyselffortheaudiencesof mypoem.Ialsochangedthefonts/italicsofwordsormadesomeboldandchangedthecolorsof certainones.Thereasonforthisistoaddmoredepthtomypoem,andifanindividualisreading it,theycanseetheimageryforthemselves.Orifit’sbeingreadaloud,thereadercanshowthe toneforthemselves.
2. Nameatleast2specificchoices/decisionsandchangesyoumadeasawriter. Why?Whatdidthesechangesdoforyourpiece?
Asawriter,onespecificchangeImadetomypoemwastochangethetenseofmypoem. Forexampleinmyroughandseconddraft,manywordswereinpasttense;asIwasusingthe exampleforaguidetowritemyownpoem.TheexamplepoemwasaboutRosaParks,and unfortunatelyshehaspassed.SeeingasIamstillalive,Idecidedtochangethetenseofmypoem topresenttensesoitwouldbeamorecurrentdescriptionofmystaterightnow Anotherdecision Imadewastotakethespecificword“great”outoftheeighthlineofmypoem.ThisisbecauseI thoughtitwastoomuchofadrasticwordtouseinthatsituation,inlightofthefactthatIamnot thecoachofourteam,andIwouldnotwanttotakethatcredit.IwantedtoshowhowIcanhelp myteaminthebackgroundratherthanbeingveryupfrontaboutit.
3. Whatcanyoutellaboutyourselfasawriter&yourrevisionpracticesfromthis assignment?
Asawriter,IrealizethatImayneedtocreatemorevarieddrafts,andtrytodiversify themmorefromeachother.Ialsoneedtotryandbringinsomemoreliterarydeviceslike assimilation,alliteration,similes,oranalogies.Onahighnotethough,IbelieveIdoagreatjob withimagery,andshowingdetailsratherthangoingstraightoutandsayingthem.
4. Whatisoneobservationyouhadafterreadingsomeofyourpeers’work?
Afterreadingsomeofmypeer’swork,Ihaveobservedthatothersliketoadddifferent typesofformattotheirwork;maybeaformthatIwouldn’thavethoughttouse.Another observationwasseeinghowmypeersusedbetterwordchoicesandsynonymsforwordsthat couldhavebeenmorebasic.
WHERE I’M FROM POEM DRAFTS: 1stdraft
Iamfromthewarmthundermyblankets (specificordinaryitem), fromcottonthreads(productname)and cozywear.(anotherproductname)
Iamfromthesanctuaryattheendoftheroad(homedescription...adjective,adjective, sensorydetail).
Iamfromthehydrangeabushes(plant,flower,naturalitem), Thethelustfreshair(plant,flower,naturaldetail)
Iamfromchristmasstoryreadings(familytradition) andandhard-workers(familytrait), fromTimothy(nameoffamilymember) andTricia(anotherfamilyname)and theHeinze’s(familyname).
Iamfromthelatenightsportsgames(descriptionoffamilytendency) andjamsessions(anotherone).
From“ifyoudon’thavesomethingnicetosay,don’tsayanythingatall”(somethingyou weretoldasachild) and“ifyouworkhardyoucanachieveanything”(another).
Iamfrom quietsundaymornings(representationofreligion,orlackofit).
I'mfromthelandofNewEngland(placeofbirthandfamily ancestry),andcurriesandsalmon(twofooditemsrepresentingyourfamily).
FromthepieceoffingermydadalmostlosttoAnnie (specificfamilystoryaboutaspecificpersonanddetail), the“perfectdog”(anotherdetail), andthe“isthisstovehot?”(anotherdetail aboutanotherfamilymember).
Iamfromthepilesintheattic (locationoffamilypictures,mementos,archives)and Icouldn’taskforanythingmore. (anotherlineindicatingtheirworth).
2ndDraft
Iamfromthewarmthundermyblankets fromcottonthreadsandcozywear.
Iamfromthesanctuaryattheendoftheroad
Iamfromthehydrangeabushes;thelustfreshair
Iamfromchristmasstoryreadings andhard-workers fromTimothyandTricia andtheHeinze’s
Iamfromthelatenightsportsgames andjamsessions
From“ifyoudon’thavesomethingnicetosay,don’tsayanythingatall” and“ifyouworkhardyoucanachieveanything”
Iamfromquietsundaymornings
I'mfromthelandofNewEngland, andcurries,andsalmon
FromthepieceoffingermydadalmostlosttoAnnie the“perfectdog” andthe“isthisstovehot?”
IamfromthepilesintheatticandIcouldn’taskforanythingmore.
3rdDraft -Workedwithalliteration,emotionandrhythmrepetition,repetitionof similarsounds,imagery,sounds,similes
Irisefromthewarmthundermyblankets; fromcottonthreadsandcozywear.
Iamfromthesanctuaryattheendofthecul-de-sac, fromthehydrangeabushesandthelustfreshair.
Icanbeacharacterin christmasstoryreadings; orbeconsideredoneofthe hard-workers. ThankstoTimothyandTricia andthelovethatflourished
Idominatedatthelatenightsportsgames anddancedthroughthenever-endingjamsessions
Ilearnedthat“ifyoudon’thavesomethingnicetosay,don’tsayanythingatall” and“ifyouworkhardyoucanachieveanything”
Irelaxedonthebackporchonquietsundaymornings InmylandofNewEngland, Fromwarmfamilydinners,toon-the-gosnacks
FromthepieceoffingermydadalmostlosttoAnnie the“perfectdog” andtheultimatequestion;“isthisstovehot?”
IlieinthepilesoftheatticandIcouldn’taskforanythingmore.
FinalDraft
Irisefromthewarmthundermyblankets; fromcottonthreadsandcozywear. Iamfromthesanctuaryattheendofthecul-de-sac, fromthehydrangeabushesandthelustfreshair.
Icanbeacharacterinchristmasstoryreadings; orbeconsideredoneofthehard-workersthankstoTimothyandTricia
andthelovethattheyblossomed.
Idominatedatthelatenightsportsgames, anddancedthroughthenever-endingjamsessions. Ilearnedthat“ifyoudon’thavesomethingnicetosay,don’tsayanythingatall” and“ifyouworkhardyoucanachieveanything.”
Irelaxedonthebackporchonquietsundaymornings InmylandofNewEngland, Fromwarmfamilydinners,toon-the-gosnacks.
FromthepieceoffingermydadalmostlosttoAnnie the“perfectdog” totheultimatequestion;“isthisstovehot?” IlieinthepilesoftheatticandIcouldn’taskforanythingmore.
WHERE I’M FROM POEM REFLECTION:
1. Whenbeginningtoformmypoem,itwasdifficulttofindspecificpoeticdevicesto include,howeverafterworkingwithitforawhile,Iwasabletoincorporatedifferent typesofdevicesthroughoutmypoem.Forexample,inthebeginningIutilized alliterationintheline“fromcottonthreadsandcozywear”(2).AnotherplacewhereI attemptedtoincludeadeviceislinethree:“attheendofthecul-de-sac.”HereItriedto applyasenseofrhythmbetweenthewords.Finally,Iappliedanexampleofrepetitionin therepeateduseofthe“I’mfrom”phrase;suchasinlinesthree,four,fifteen,and sixteen.
2. Whenrevisingmypoem,Itriedtofocusonsettingmypoemapartfromthetemplatewe usedtobegincraftingone.Forexample,Itookalargeamountofthe“I’mfrom”phrases outandreplacedthemwithotherwordsorphrasesIbelievedworkedbetterinthat specificline.Oneoftheserevisionswasinmyfirstdraft,wherelineonereads“Iam fromthewarmthundermyblankets”;althoughinlineoneofmyfinaldraft,Iediteditto “Irisefromthewarmthundermyblankets”.Thischangegivesthepoemanodeto myself,whilealsoprovidingasenseofanintroductioninitwiththeapplicationofthe word“rise.”Anotherillustrationofrevisionbetweenmydraftsisfromlinesixtoseven. Inmyearlierdrafts,theywent“Iamfromchristmasstoryreadings/andhard-workers”, butinmyfinaldraftIwrote;“Icanbeacharacterinchristmasstoryreadings;/orbe consideredoneofthehard-workers.”Thischangebroughtalliterationtomypoemwith theuseofwordslike:“(can,character,christmas,considered)”,anditalsogiveslightto thevastopportunitiesIreceivedasachild.AfinalsmallbutnoteworthychangeImade tomypoemwasattheveryend,forinstance;“Iamfromthepilesintheattic-/andI couldn’taskforanythingmore”changedto“Ilieinthepilesintheattic-/andIcouldn’t askforanythingmore”(19-20).Ichosetomakethislittlechangebecauseitaddsapoetic devicelikeassonance,whilealsodemonstratingasenseofrestingpointtothefinallines ofthepoem.
3. Whileengaginginthispieceofwriting,Ienjoyedgoingbackintimeandreminiscing aboutsomeofmyfamily'soldtraditionsandthejoythattheycreated.Itwasfunto connectmylifetonotonlyphysicalobjects,buteventsandtraditionsaswell.Whilethis waspleasing,Ifounditchallengingtogetthoseideasdownintoapoem.Beginningthe processofwritingwasdifficult,butonceIhadmyfirstdraftdone,itbecameeasierto builduponandmakerevisionslikeaddingspecificdevices.
4. Throughthecreationofthispoem,IhavelearnedthatIneedameasurableamountof timetocraftawell-writtenpoem.Forinstance,Ishouldcreateanotespage,(or somethingalongthelinesofthat)togetmyideasdown.Thenwhileusingthetemplate,I wasabletobeginthebaseofmypoem.Ifoundthetemplatetobeveryusefulwhenfirst craftingmypoem;andthroughmultiplerevisions,Iwasabletodifferentiateitfromthe templatetomakeitmorepersonalized.Finally,asawriter,IrealizedthatIshouldtake
breaksinbetweencraftingmydraftsmoreofteninordertorefreshmymindandcreatea newperspectiveformyself.
WHERE I’M FROM POEM ILLUSTRATION:
RHETORICAL LETTERS TO SELF:
Period8
10-18-22
APECE11
ClareHeinze
SelfAssessof1stdraftRA
Lettertomyself:
DearClare,
WhenwritingyournextRAdraft,pleasemakesuretomanageyourtimewisely.You tookwaytoolongonyourlastRA,andthiscausedyoutobecomestressedout,andultimately hurttheoverallproductofyourdraft.Youneedtomakesureyoustaycalm,andplanoutthe stepsyouneedtotakeinordertowriteyourdraft.Forexample,startbyannotatingspecifically forP.O.D.,anddonottakealotoftimewhendoingso.Lookforthedevicesusedandbeginto findevidencetosupportyourreasoning.
Paragraph2:
YourbiggestprobleminthelastRAwastomanageyourtime.Youneedtomakesure youdon’tstressyourselfout,andinsteadcalmdownandbegintoreadthetext.Assoonas possible,begintoidentifydevicesandbegintoorganizeyourthoughts.Makeaquickroughdraft forwhatyouthinkyouwanttowrite,anddon’toverwriteinareaswherethepointisalready clear.Starttomakeanoutlineforyouressay,anddonotwastetimeoncertainsections.
Sincerely,
Aworried,buthopefulClare.
Selfassesswithscoringrubric
Thesis:1point-IbelieveIrespondedtothepromptthatproperlyanalyzesthewriter’srhetorical choices,andclearlytookaposition.
EvidenceandCommentary:3points-Iprovidedspecificevidenceandalsoexplainedmylineof reasoningforherrhetoricalchoices.
Sophistication:0.5points-Icould’vedemonstratedamorecomplex(in-depth)understandingof therhetoricalsituation.
Total:4.5/6points
Mygoals:
- Ineedtomanagemytimemuchmoreefficiently
- AnnotatespecificallyforP.O.D.,andnotrandomgeneralinformation
- Lookmostcloselyfordevicesinordertoidentifyandbegintoplanoutessay
- HAVEASPECIFICPLAN
FIRST RHETORICALANALYSIS:
Period 8
10-12-22
AP ECE 11
Clare Heinze
1st Rhetorical Analysis Essay
On April 9, 1964, the first anniversary luncheon of the Eleanor Roosevelt Memorial Foundation was held. This foundation is a nonprofit division of the Franklin D. Roosevelt Presidential Library dedicated to the works of former First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt. Claudia
“Lady Bird '' Johnson; the First Lady of the United States at the time, was called for the anniversary occasion to deliver her speech in dedication of Eleanor Roosevelt to the foundation. Claudia Johnson was able to pay tribute to Eleanor Roosevelt by applying repetition of Roosevelt’s natural ability to involve herself in beneficial situations for others, incorporating specific historic imagery to highlight her great qualities, and embracing a laudatory and uplifting tone to inspire the members of the foundation.
Johnson begins her tribute to Roosevelt by introducing her through memories she has of Roosevelt; specifically as an individual who does not require praise for her great qualities and achievements. She was one who sought to do good for others without a moment of hesitation. Johnson incorporates repetition in the stories she tells regarding Roosevelt’s natural ability to find advantageous results for others; demonstrating “the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt.” Johnson is able to do so by repeatedly using the saying “and so” in the descriptions that she provides of Roosevelt giving aid to others. This is because Roosevelt
“thought of the suffering individual;” for example, “she saw an unemployed father and so she helped him.” She “saw dictators hurling the world into war, and so she worked
unflinchingly for peace.” Or she “saw a neglected Negro child, and so she educated him.”
This phrase of “and so” provides a repetition factor and emphasizes how Roosevelt would see a problem, and go and solve it.
Building off of Roosevelt’s efforts to better those around her, Johnson moves to a more connotational outlook of Roosevelt. She does so by including examples of historic imagery and using them to highlight her great qualities. Johnson pulls in a quote from President Wilson who stated that “...some people in Washington grow in office, while others merely swell.” The inclusion of this quote in her speech provides the audience with an illustration of what can happen to those who gain power in Washington. Johnson demonstrates how Mrs. Roosevelt did not give in too any temptations of faculty; how she “steadily grew under the compulsions and inspirations of her great office.” Johnson also pays most tribute to the fact that Roosevelt was still reaching for greatness after her great personal loss, and how she “went bravely forward in a new career as a spokesman for America and a servant of world peace.” By inserting a particular example of imagery, those listening can create a picture for themselves of how just and exceptional Eleanor Roosevelt truly was.
To close the speech, Johnson lays a final outline of Roosevelt’s contributions to their foundation and ties her ideas together with a call to action. Behind this call to action is a very laudatory and uplifting tone applied to motivate all of the foundation’s members. Johnson purposely begins the summary of her speech by directly calling individuals out She wants Roosevelt’s accomplishments and achievements to not only be recognized, but to be repeated in the following years to come. Johnson restates how Roosevelt has “already made her own splendid and incomparable contribution to that foundation.” She then pulls audience members in by addressing them personally, “Let us go and do likewise, within the
measure of our faith and the limits of our ability.” Johnson hopes that this tone combined with Roosevelt’s values will encourage members to “...pluck out prejudice from our lives, to remove fear and hate from where it exists, and to create a world unafraid to work out its destiny in peace.”
Claudia “Lady Bird'' Johnson successfully celebrated Eleanor Roosevelt in her speech given at the first anniversary luncheon of the Eleanor Roosevelt Memorial Foundation through her application of repetition concerning Roosevelt’s instinctiveness to help others, the inclusion of historic imagery to shine light on Roosevelt’s best attributes, and her enthusiastic and laudatory tone to inspire the members of the foundation. Her overarching message is to communicate how the people of our world should be more like Eleanor Roosevelt herself. Johnson’s hope is that those who got the opportunity to listen can take examples from Roosevelt’s principles and actions, and use them to better themselves, and more importantly, those around them.
SECOND RHETORICALANALYSIS:
Period8
APECE
10-20-22
ClareHeinze
RA#2
Inthisdayandage,decisionsmaderevolvingaroundpoliticsandgovernmentalaffairs areveryseriousandimportantmatters.Therewasnodifferenceintimesthatwereprecedentto this.OnJanuary12th,1780,AbigailAdamswritesalettertohersonJohnQuincyAdamswho madetheprincipaldecisiontopartakeinasecondvoyagetoFrancewithhisfatherJohnAdams, aUnitedStatesdiplomatandlaterthecountry’ssecondpresident.AbigailAdams presentshow shecancompelhersontoidentifyanyandalloftheadvantagesheacquiredbyvirtueof completingthisjourney,andemphasizestheapplicationofthesemeritsinhislife/their familieslineofworkthroughthecontextualizationofmetaphoricalsituationandher repetitioninpronounusethroughoutthetext.
AbigailAdamsbeginsherlettertoJohnQuincyAdamsbyelucidatinghowshenever intendedtopushhimtocompletesuchavoyageifhehadneverwantedtobeincludedinthefirst place.Although,sheexhibitshercontentinthethatfactthathesubmittedtoheradvice,by stating,“Yourknowledgeofthelanguagemustgiveyougreateradvantagesnowthanyoucould possiblyhavereapedwhilstignorantofit;andasyouincreaseinyears,youwillfindyour understandingopeninganddailyimproving.”AbigailAdmasthenincorporatesametaphorinto herlineofthoughttoprovideavisualrepresentationforthislesson;andfurtherexplainthis messagetoherson.“Someauthor,thatIhavemetwith,comparesajudicioustravelertoariver, thatincreasesit'sstreamthefurtheritflowsfromitssource;ortocertainsprings,whichrunning throughrichveinsofminerals,improvetheirqualitiesastheypassalong.”Thismetaphor
outlinesthespecificthemesthatAbigailhopedhersonwouldencounterandbegintoputtouse throughhisjourney’swithhisfather.
Forthewholedurationofthisletter,AbigailAdamsemploysrepetitioninpronounuse.
Reflectionwith2ndRA
Igavemyselfa3onmyRA,becauseIbelieveIdidgreatworkontheactualwritingIgot down,butIdidnotfinishmywholeessayoverall.Ineedtomanagemytimebetter.When relatingspecificallytothecontext,thesis,andevidence/commentarysections,Iwasefficientin analyzingtherhetoricalsituation.
2-3goalsandrevisionsfornexttime
- Getafasterstart
- Skipsectionsthatmaybeholdingyouback;ortrytofindaquicksolution
- Writeandthinkasfastaspossible
- Havestrongevidenceandcommentarywhenidentifyingrhetoricaldevices
- Donotincludeunnecessaryinformationinyouressay…thiswillalsowasteryourtime
THIRD RHETORICALANALYSIS:
Period8
APECE 10-26-22
ClareHeinze RA#3
OnFebruary27,2013,whileinoffice,formerpresidentBarackObamadeliveredan addresstotheattendeesofthededicationoftheRosaParksStatueintheNationalStatuaryHall oftheUnitedStatesCapitolbuilding.RosaParkswasanAfricanAmericancivilrightsactivist whowasarrestedin1955forrefusingtogiveupherseatonasegregatedbusinMontgomery Alabama.BarackObamashedslightonRosaParkscountlessactsofcourageandhighlightshow wecanexpandourconceptionofwhatispossiblethroughtheinclusionofcounterclaims, repetitivedepictionofmetaphors,andestablishingcauseandeffectconstantlyforthedurationof hisspeech.
BarackObamabeginshisaddressbyintegratinghowRosaParks’life“usedtobe,” illuminatingthehardtruthshefaceddaily.WhilebeingawareofthetypeofpersonRosaParks was,Obamaemploysacounterclaimtoprovidearebuttalforanyinoppositionofthisdedication toParks:“RosaParksheldnoelectedoffice.Sheprocessednofortune;livedherlifefarfromthe formalseatsofpower.Andyettoday,shetakesherrightfulplaceamongthosewho’veshaped thisnation’scourse.”(1)BytouchingonthefactthatParkscamefromvirtuallynothing,andstill hadsuchalargeimpactonourworldtoday,Obamawasabletoestablishasenseofcredibility forhimself.ThiscounterclaimissuccessfulindepictingtohisaudiencethehardshipsthatParks hadtoface,andjusthowhardshehadtoworktoovercomethem.Byengaginghisaudiencewith
acounterclaimrightofthebat,andemphasizinghowfarParkshadtocome,Obamarefutesany withanopposingideatohisown.
Theformerpresidentdoesnotonlyestablishhischaracterthroughouthisspeech,butalso usesmetaphorstoexemplifyourideaofwhatispossibletoexhibitthetruebasisofthe dedicationoftheRosaParksstatue.
FINAL RHETORICALANALYSIS:
Period8
APECE11
10-30-22
ClareHeinze
RAFinalDraft
OnFebruary27,2013,whileinoffice,formerpresidentBarackObamadeliveredan addresstotheattendeesofthededicationoftheRosaParksStatueintheNationalStatuaryHall oftheUnitedStatesCapitolbuilding.RosaParkswasanAfricanAmericancivilrightsactivist whowasarrestedin1955forrefusingtogiveupherseatonasegregatedbusinMontgomery Alabama.BarackObamashedslightonRosaParkscountlessactsofcourageandhighlightshow wecanexpandourconceptionofwhatispossiblethroughtheinclusionofcounterclaims, repetitivedepictionofmetaphors,andestablishingcauseandeffectconstantlyforthedurationof hisspeech.
BarackObamabeginshisaddressbyintegratinghowRosaParks’life“usedtobe,” illuminatingthehardtruthshefaceddaily.WhilebeingawareofthetypeofpersonRosaParks was,Obamaemploysacounterclaimtoprovidearebuttalforanyinoppositionofthisdedication toParks:“RosaParksheldnoelectedoffice.Sheprocessednofortune;livedherlifefarfromthe formalseatsofpower Andyettoday,shetakesherrightfulplaceamongthosewho’veshaped thisnation’scourse”(1).BytouchingonthefactthatParkscamefromvirtuallynothing,andstill hadsuchalargeimpactonourworldtoday,Obamawasabletoestablishasenseofcredibility forhimself.ThiscounterclaimissuccessfulindepictingtohisaudiencethehardshipsthatParks hadtoface,andjusthowhardshehadtoworktoovercomethem.Byengaginghisaudiencewith acounterclaimrightofthebat,andemphasizinghowfarParkshadtocome,Obamarefutesany withanopposingideatohisown.
Theformerpresidentdoesnotonlyestablishhischaracterthroughrefusionthroughout hisspeech,butalsointroducestheuseofsimiletoexemplifythereadersideaofwhatis achievabletoexhibitthetruebasisofthededicationoftheRosaParksstatue.Todoso,Obama beginstolistoutdepictionsoftimeswhereonemayrecognizeanissueorproblemintheworld aroundthem,butfailtofindaresolutionduetotheirexcuseforinaction.Hecommunicatesthis bystating,“...wesooftenspendourlivesasifinafog,acceptinginjustice,rationalizing inequality,toleratingtheintolerable”(7).Throughthissimile,heelucidateshowoursociety spendstheirlivesignoringthegrievancesandwrongsoftheworld;andhowParkswasan exceptionalindividualforbreakingthispattern.Onaccountofthisincorporation,attendeesof thededicationareabletoappealtothisimagery,andcreateanegativeconnotationtothe“actof inaction”,andapositiveoneforParksandherabilityanddrivetocreatechangesanywhereshe seesfit.ThisprovidesanexampleofhowObamaoutlinestheimportanceofParks’svirtues,and howhewisheshisaudiencecancontinuetopursueactionsthatalinewithhers.Heleaveshis audiencewithaspecificillustrationofherintegrityinhopesthattheycaninturndoso themselves.
Inclosinghisspeech,Obamaleavestheattendeesofthededicationwiththefinalpurpose ofpromotingParks’scountlessventuresandachievementsbywayofenvisioningan establishmentofcauseandeffect.Obamademonstratesthiscauseandeffectrelationshipinorder toexemplifyandvalidatethededicationoftheRosaParksstatue.Takeforexamplehow claimed,“RosaParks’ssingularactofdisobediencelaunchedamovement”(10).This far-reachingimplicationprovidestheaudiencewithalastingperceptionofParks’sactsof courageandleadership,andallofthegreatoutcomesthataroseduetoherefforts.Thesedistinct outcomesarejusttheonesthatappealtohisaudience’ssenseofreason,andholdanimpacton
thefeelingsofthoselistening.Hecontinuestoexemplifythisrelationshipthroughboldlystating, “ItisbecauseofthesemenandwomenthatIstandheretoday”(11).Throughtheilluminationof thesetwocauseandeffectrelationships,Obamadirectlycallsattentiontotheactsofjusticethat Parkshascreated,andprovidestherationalebehindtheplacementofherstatueintheNational statuaryHall.
ThroughouthisaddressgivenonFebruary27,2013atthededicationoftheplacementof RosaParks’statuetotheNationalStatuaryHalloftheUnitedStatesCapitolbuilding,Barack ObamapresentsRosaParks’countlessactsofcourageandhighlightshowwecanconstantly expandourconceptionofwhatispossible.Hisoverarchingmessageistonotonlycommunicate tothoselisteningtheimportanceofthisstatue,butthelessonsthatarebroughtalongwithit.His finaldesireistohonorhermemory,andcarryforwardtherighteousnessandintegrityParks’ ventureswereabletohaveonourworld.
RHETORICAL PRECIS ON FAHRENHEIT 451:
Period8
12-22-22
APECE11
ClareHeinze Fahrenheit451Precis
RayBradbury,oneofthemostcelebrated20th-centuryAmericanwriters,inhisnovel, “Fahrenheit451”(1853),addressestheover-developmentandoveruseoftechnologyinhis society,andbeseechesthatthe“words”ofbooksandliteraturearefarmoreimportantthanthe wordsofthe“walls”,“TV’s”,or“seashells.”Bradburysupportsthisimplicationthroughhis repetitiveapplicationofallusions,incorporationsofmetaphors/similes,andfinallythe developmentofforeshadowinginhisnovel.Bradbury’spurposein“Fahrenheit451”istoshinea lightontheimportancethatwordsderivingfromliteratureobtain,andhowadvantageousthey canbeforeachindividualinnotonlyhischaracter:Montag’ssociety,butintherealworldas well.Hedoessoinordertoprovokehisreaderstorecognizetheirownoveruseoftechnology, andsavethemfromturninginto“...grayanimalspeeringfromelectriccaves,faceswithgray colorlesseyes,graytongues,andgraythoughtslookingoutthroughthenumbfleshoftheface”
(Bradbury132).Hewantstoinspireasenseofurgencyinhisaudiencethatcanfinallybring backtheircreativeandoriginalsidethatourworldsodesperatelyneeds.Bradburyadoptsa sorrowful,yetmotivatingtoneforhisaudience,thereadersof“Fahrenheit451”,orthegeneral worldinthiscase;ashewishestogetothersinterestedinchangingthe“unnatural”waysof society.
RESPONSE TO TEXT FARENHEIT 451:
Period8
12-22-22
APECE11
ClareHeinze ResponsetoFahrenheit451
Afterreadingthenovel“Fahrenheit451”byRayBradbury,myeyeshavebeenopened abouttheuseoftechnologyinourworldtodayonawholenewlevel.Itiscrazytomethat Bradburywasableto“predict”thefuture.Forinstance,whenwritingthisdystopiannovel, Bradburyhighlightshowtheimportanceofbooksduringthetimeofthecreationof“Fahrenheit 451”haddeclinedrapidly.Hedevelopsasocietyinhisnovelthathascompletelyignoredthe wordsinbooks,andonlygiveattentionto“words”thatcome“easily.”Bradburyexemplifiesthis multipletimesinhisnovel,butspecificallythroughthecharacterMildred;whooveruses technologydaily“‘I’mtiredoflisteningtothisjunk,’saidMildred,turningfromhimtothe announceragain”(Bradbury62).MildredconstantlytriestoignoreMontag’scontroversialand problematicthought/ideas,andturnsherattentiontotheTVthatcaneasilysupplyherwithany ideasshemight“need”tohave.TheTVisabletogeneratealltheopinionsshewilleveracquire.
Shedoesthisbecausethewordsthatareinthesebookscancauseproblems,orcreateconflicts betweenpeopleintheirsociety.Soinsteadshefindscomfortinthecomfortablyaccessible“words” oftheTV Toresolvetheproblemsofthecreativewordsfoundinbooks,thesocietyin“Fahrenheit 451”burnsthem.ThisisspecificallybroughtupinaconversationbetweenMontagandBeatty whereBeattysays,“Let'snotquibbleoverindividualswithmemoriams.Forgetthem.Burnall. Burneverything.FireisbrightandFireisclean”(Bradbury57).Theydon'twanttodealwiththe dissensionthatcanarisefrombooks;orreadingingeneral.Thisfactisshowninevengreaterdepth
whenagain,Beattystates,“Aproblemgetstooburdensome,thenintothefurnacewithit.Now, Montagyou’reaburden.Andfirewilllifeyouoffmyshoulders,clean,quick,sure;nothingtorot later”(Bradbury109).Ilearnedthatthepeoplein“Fahrenheit451”aresodisconnectedfrom natureandoriginalthinkingthattheycannotproduceanyoftheirownideasanymore.Bradbury’s mainmessagewastoindicatethatthisishowourworldwillbegintolookifwedonotmakea changeinourways.Icanseethisclearlynow.Itisimportanttotaketimeawayfromourpersonal devices,andspendtimeinnature,orwithourfamilies;orevenalonewithourthoughts.Youdo not,andshouldnotneedtohavethesameideasaseveryoneelse;infact,itisveryimportantto developyourown.ThisisdefinitelysomethingIwillbetryingtodointhefuture.Ineedtoget comfortablewiththeideaofbeing“bored”or“different.”
Overall,Iwasfondofthebook“Fahrenheit451.”Ilikedthenovel,butIwasdisappointed withtheending.IwasveryinterestedinMontag’sfeelingsandintentions,butBradburyleftthe readerwithaverylargeunknown.Whatwillhappennext?WillMontagsavehisworld?Asforour classassignments,Iwishedwediscussedmoreasagroup.IthinkIwouldhaveunderstoodthe bookasawholeeasierifIwasabletotalkthroughmyideas,andhearmypeers’aswell.
TECHNOLOGY OVERUSE OPINION PIECE:
Period8
APECE
2-9-23
ClareHeinze Argumentpiece
PlanningandSpacingout
Youcontextualizetheissueathandandtellwhyyourtopicisanimportant one:
Technology.Millionsoftypes.Millionsinourworld.Haveyouevertakenasecondto lookaroundandrecognizejusthowmuchthereis?Howdoesitmakeyoufeeltoseeallthis machineryaroundyou?Personally,itmakesmesad.Technologyisreplacingeverything. Typewriters,books,hand-writtenmessages…people;turnedtocomputers,phones,emails,A.I. It'simpossibletotakeonestepinoursocietywithoutseeingsomeaspectoftechnology.Doyou everthinkaboutwhatyourlifewouldbelikewithouttechnology?Dark,bleak,nothingness?
Technologyisreplacingtherealandtrueaspectsofourworld,andthisresultsinastrong dependenceonit,andherdthinking.
Reviseddraftfromabove:Takeasecondtolookaroundyou.Whereveryouare, whateversituationyou’rein,whatisoneobjectthatyoufeelyoualwayshave?Ifyouhaven't alreadygeneratedanidea,letmespellitoutforyou. It’syourphone. Itisalmostimpossiblefor anyonetogoanywherewithoutit.Thisisamajorproblemintoday’ssociety,andasimple iphonedoesn'tevenbegintoscratchthesurfaceofthetechnologythatourworldhascreated. Canyourememberthelasttimeyouspentadaywithoutaccessingorusingsometypeof technology?Itisreplacingeverythingtriedandtrueinthisworld.
Backgroundinformationonyourtopic. Briefly,yousketchwhatpeople generallytalkaboutwhenyourtopiccomesup.
Whenyouhearthewordtechnology,manydifferentdevicescometomind:theycanvary fromphones,computers,T.V.’s,ortabletstoanimatedhomepods,electriccars,andevenA.I; thelistcouldgoonforever.Theonethingallofthese poisonshaveincommonisthatthey providetheiruserwithamoresimplifiedandfasterwaytodothings. Everyonelovesthis. Theylovethewayitcanmakelifesomucheasier.Peoplearealwayswaitingforthenext newtypetoevolve.Ialwaysseemtohear“Didyouseethenewphonethatdropped?”or
“Wereyouabletosnatchoneofthenewgenerationairpods?”Itisunhealthyhowthe tiniesttangibleitemscancreatesuchadrumofexcitement.
Divideintosmallerchunks,committodevelopingoneofthem your thesis mappingoutforyourreaderhowyouintendtodoso.
Weseemtobesocaughtupintheworldoftechnologythat oursocietyhasbegunto revolvearoundit.Wehaveanissuewiththeoveruse ofitinourworld,andwehavedeveloped tobetoodependentonit.Theworldneedstostart attemptingtostrayawayfromouroveruseof technologyandreturntoamore“natural”wayoflife.
Generatepointstosupportyourthesis,andyouexplainbyproviding reasons,details,examples,illustrations.
- Herdthinkinghasresulted,andthere’stoostrongofadependenceontechnology
- Peoplefeeluncomfortablewithoutit(asinleavingitsomewhere,orneedingitin “awkward”situations)
- Neversatisfiedwithanything
Icanconfidentlyarguethatoneofthemostpopularandfrequentlyboughtproductsare thoseoftechnology.Thisisthemainproblem. Themoretechnologybought,themorewillbe created.Itwillneverbeenough.Thereisalways anewtypeorgenerationreleasedthathas somecrazyadditionthatpersuadesonetobuyit.Ourworldneedstosearchforawaythatwe canlivewithouttheconstantuseoftechnology Thisisveryimportant,astheoveruseof technologyhascreatedadangerouswayofprocessingandapproachingsituations.Itcreatesa worldwhereeveryonebeginstohavethesameideas;producinganunhealthyherd-like mentality.Originalwaysofthinkingarestompedout,andonesingularideabecomesthenew “normal”,andpropositionsaresimplyhandedtoyou.Thiscanevenbereferencedinothertexts’, asinRayBradbury’s“Fahrenheit451”,whereeffortlessactionswerecompletedbymachines: “Theconverterattachment,whichhadcostthemonehundreddollars,automaticallysuppliedher namewhenevertheannounceraddressedhisanonymousaudience,leavingablankwherethe propersyllablescouldbefilledin.”
Anotherwaythatmanyindividualshavebecometooobsessedwithtechnologyisthe problemthatanumerousnumberofpeopledescribethemselvesas“uncomfortable”or“weird” withouthavingtheirphonewiththematalltimes.Whenhearingpeoplesaythingslike“Ifeelso offwithoutmyphone”and“Ican’tbelieveIdidn’tbringmyphone!”,onebeginstocontemplate theactualuseofthatphone.Whatelseisnecessarybesidescallingforhelpincaseof emergency?Manyteensalsoreverttousingtheirdevicesinsituationsthattheymayfeel awkwardorsociallyunabletopartakein.Thisrelianceisdestructivetoyoungadultsasitforces themtodependontechnologytobailthemoutoftimeswherewithouttheirdevices,theywould otherwisebeobligatedtoactuallycommunicatewithothers.Communicationisalifelongskill thatisneededbyanyonewhowantstosucceedinlivingaprolificandenjoyablelife,andthis
skillisbeinglostthankstotheoveruseoftechnology.
Finally,Ifeelasifthepublicisneversatisfiedwithanythinganymore. Everything aroundmeseemstomoveatamillionmilesperhour Everyonetriestogeteverythingdoneina splitsecondjustsotheycanmoveontothenexttask.Nooneappearstofindjoyinthemoment anymore.It'sjust“HowfastcanIcompletethissoIcanmoveon?”,and Ievenfallvictimto thisproblem.Weneedtorememberthatnot everythingisabletobeconcludedwithinthatone moment,andnoteverythingneedstobefixed.Somethingsareleftperfectthewaytheyare. Anyonewhobuysanytypeofnewtechdeviceisalwayssearchingforthenewsupplementsthey contain,andhowtheirlifecanbe“drasticallyimproved”bythem.Thiscausestechnology userstohaveaveryunsatisfiedoutlookonlife.Oursocietyneedstochangeourwayofthinking from“WhatisthenewestandbestpieceofmachinerythatIcangetmyhandson?”to“Howelse canIbenefitmyselftodaybynotrelyingonthetechnologythatsooftenlysurroundsus?”
Counterclaim;addressthem,againwithreasons,details,examples,and illustrations.
- Whilesomemaysaythat…
- Don’tgetmewrong,sometypesoftechnologycanbeveryuseful.Aniphoneinan emergencysituationcansavelives.Thisiswhytheywerecreatedoriginally;asasimple waytocommunicatewithothersonthego.Thissimpledeviceoftechnologythen developedintosomethingmuchworse.Somethingthatpeoplebecameaddictedto.Many arenotabletogoanywherewithouttheirphone,andagain,itseemsasiftheyarebeing tiedtoit.Phonesarejustthebeginning.Technologyisallaroundus,anditisbeginning totakeoverourworld.Wewillsoonbeincapableofthemostsimpletasksbecausewe’ll getsousedtonothavingtocompleteanyofthemthatjusttheideaofthembecomes foreign.Itisobviousthattechnologyisbeingabused,andit’simpossibleforonetosay thatit'snot;justbysimplytakingalookaround.Anywhereyoustepthere'sanewtype. It’snecessarythatwefindawaytostopthebleedingandholdontoourabilitytolive withoutdependingsoheavilyontechnology.
Concludebydoingtwothings: (a)byaddressingthe“sowhat”question, howarethereadersbetteroffforhavingreadyouressay? (b)by sounding likea conclusion byhavingtherhythmofyourconclusionsoundliketheendofa symphonyperformance
Allinall,Ihopeyouhavereflecteduponyourselfandyouruseoftechnology.Haveyou alsorecognizedthatthereisanoveruseofitinoursocietytoday?Itcreatessomanyundetected issuesinourworld.Aplethoraofpeopleuseitasabasisofclicheideas,oratacticwhentrying toavoiduncomfortablesituations.Itcreatesanunsatisfactorysensebyissuingafeelingofneed thatisneverfulfilled.Ihopeyouusethisasalessonanddistanceyourselffromtechnology.It doesnothavetobeawholelot,anditdoesnothavetobeasifyou’reflippingaswitch.Next timeyougotowatchashow,thinkabouttakingawalkoutside.Nexttimeyoustartscrollingon
tiktok,wonderifyoucanbetteryourselfthatdaybydoinganythingelseproductive.Thereare somanywaysonecandoso,ifyoumerelytakethetimetolook.
SecondDraft
Takeasecondtolookaroundyou.Whereveryouare,whateversituationyou’rein,what isoneobjectthatyoufeelyoualwayshave?Ifyouhaven'talreadygeneratedanidea,letmespell itoutforyou.It’syourphone. Itisalmostimpossibleforanyonetogoanywherewithoutit. Thisisamajorproblemintoday’ssociety,andasimpleiphonedoesn'tevenbegintoscratchthe surfaceofthetechnologythatourworldhascreated.Canyourememberthelasttimeyouspent adaywithoutaccessingorusingsometypeoftechnology?Itisreplacingeverything triedand trueinthisworld.Whenyouhearthewordtechnology,manydifferentdevicescometomind: theycanvaryfromphones,computers,T.V.’s,ortabletstoanimatedhomepods,electriccars, andevenA.I;thelistcouldgoonforever.Theonethingallofthese poisonshaveincommonis thattheyprovidetheiruserwithamoresimplifiedandfasterwaytodothings. Everyoneloves this.Theylovethewayitcanmakelifesomucheasier.Peoplearealwayswaitingforthenext newtypetoevolve.Ialwaysseemtohear“Didyouseethenewphonethatdropped?”or“Were youabletosnatchoneofthenewgenerationairpods?”Itisunhealthyhowthetiniesttangible itemscancreatesuchadrumofexcitement.Weseemtobesocaughtupintheworldof technologythatoursocietyhasbeguntorevolvearound it.Wehaveanissuewiththeoveruse ofitinourworld,andwehavedevelopedtobetoodependentonit.Theworldneedstostart attemptingtostrayawayfromouroveruseoftechnologyandreturntoamore“natural”wayof life.Icanconfidentlyarguethatoneofthemostpopularandfrequentlyboughtproductsare thoseoftechnology Thisisthemainproblem. Themoretechnologybought,themorewillbe created.Itwillneverbeenough.Thereisalways anewtypeorgenerationreleasedthathas somecrazyadditionthatpersuadesonetobuyit.Ourworldneedstosearchforawaythatwe canlivewithouttheconstantuseoftechnology Thisisveryimportant,astheoveruseof technologyhascreatedadangerouswayofprocessingandapproachingsituations.Itcreatesa worldwhereeveryonebeginstohavethesameideas;producinganunhealthyherd-like mentality.Originalwaysofthinkingarestompedout,andonesingularideabecomesthenew “normal”,andpropositionsaresimplyhandedtoyou.Thiscanevenbereferencedinothertexts’, asinRayBradbury’s“Fahrenheit451”,whereeffortlessactionswerecompletedbymachines: “Theconverterattachment,whichhadcostthemonehundreddollars,automaticallysuppliedher namewhenevertheannounceraddressedhisanonymousaudience,leavingablankwherethe propersyllablescouldbefilledin.”Anotherwaythatmanyindividualshavebecometoo obsessedwithtechnologyistheproblemthatanumerousnumberofpeopledescribethemselves as“uncomfortable”or“weird”withouthavingtheirphonewiththematalltimes.Whenhearing peoplesaythingslike“Ifeelsooffwithoutmyphone”and“Ican’tbelieveIdidn’tbringmy phone!”,onebeginstocontemplatetheactualuseofthatphone.Whatelseisitnecessaryfor besidescallingforhelpincaseofemergency?Manyteensalsoreverttousingtheirdevicesin
situationsthattheymayfeelawkwardorsociallyunabletopartakein.Thisrelianceis destructivetoyoungadultsasitforcesthemtodependontechnologyto bailthemoutoftimes wherewithouttheirdevices,theywouldotherwisebeobligatedtoactuallycommunicatewith others.Communicationisalifelongskillthatisneededbyanyonewhowantstosucceedin livingaprolificandenjoyablelife,andthisskillisbeinglostthankstotheoveruseof technology.Finally,Ifeelasifthepublicisneversatisfiedwithanythinganymore.Everything aroundmeseemstomoveatamillionmilesperhour.Everyonetriestogeteverythingdoneina splitsecondjustsotheycanmoveontothenexttask.Nooneappearstofindjoyinthemoment anymore.It'sjust“HowfastcanIcompletethissoIcanmoveon?”,and Ievenfallvictimto thisproblem.Weneedtorememberthatnot everythingisabletobeconcludedwithinthatone moment,andnoteverythingneedstobefixed.Somethingsareleftperfectthewaytheyare. Anyonewhobuysanytypeofnewtechdeviceisalwayssearchingforthenewsupplementsthey contain,andhowtheirlifecanbe“drasticallyimproved”bythem.Thiscausestechnology userstohaveaveryunsatisfiedoutlookonlife.Oursocietyneedstochangeourwayofthinking from“WhatisthenewestandbestpieceofmachinerythatIcangetmyhandson?”to“Howelse canIbenefitmyselftodaybynotrelyingonthetechnologythatsooftenlysurroundsus?” Don’t getmewrong,sometypesoftechnologycanbeveryuseful.Aniphoneinanemergency situationcansavelives.Thisiswhytheywerecreatedoriginally;asasimplewayto communicatewithothersonthego.Thissimpledeviceoftechnologythendevelopedinto somethingmuchworse.Somethingthatpeoplebecameaddictedto.Manyarenotabletogo anywherewithouttheirphone,andagain,itseemsasiftheyarebeingtiedtoit.Phonesarejust thebeginning.Technologyisallaroundus,anditisbeginningtotakeoverourworld.Wewill soonbeincapableofthemostsimpletasksbecausewe’llgetsousedtonothavingtocomplete anyofthemthatjusttheideaofthembecomesforeign.Itisobviousthattechnologyisbeing abused,andit’simpossibleforonetosaythatit'snot;justbysimplytakingalookaround. Anywhereyoustepthere'sanewtype.It’snecessarythatwefindawaytostopthebleedingand holdontoourabilitytolivewithoutdependingsoheavilyontechnology.Allinall,Ihopeyou havereflecteduponyourselfandyouruseoftechnology.Haveyoualsorecognizedthatthereis anoveruseofitinoursocietytoday?Itcreatessomanyundetectedissuesinourworld.A plethoraofpeopleuseitasabasisofclicheideas,oratacticwhentryingtoavoiduncomfortable situations.Itcreatesanunsatisfactorysensebyissuingafeelingofneedthatisneverfulfilled. I hopeyouusethisasalessonanddistanceyourselffromtechnology.Itdoesnothavetobea wholelot,anditdoesnothavetobeasifyou’reflippingaswitch.Nexttimeyougotowatcha show,thinkabouttakingawalkoutside.Nexttimeyoustartscrollingontiktok,wonderifyou canbetteryourselfthatdaybydoinganythingelseproductive.Therearesomanywaysonecan doso,ifyoumerelytakethetimetolook.
Takeasecondtolookaroundyou.Whereveryouare,whateversituationyou’rein,what isoneobjectthatyoufeelyoualwayshave?Ifyouhaven'talreadygeneratedanidea,letmespell itoutforyou.It’syourphone.Itisalmostimpossibleforanyonetogoanywherewithoutit.This isamajorproblemintoday’ssociety,andasimpleiphonedoesn'tevenbegintoscratchthe surfaceofthetechnologythatourworldhasdeveloped.Canyourememberthelasttimeyou spentadaywithoutaccessingorusingsometypeoftechnology?It’sstartingtoreplace everythingtriedandtrueinthisworld.Whenyouhearthewordtechnology,manydifferent devicescometomind:theycanvaryfromphones,computers,T.V.’s,ortabletstoanimated homepods,electriccars,andevenA.I;thelistcouldgoonforever.Theonethingallofthese addictionshaveincommonisthattheyprovidetheiruserwithamoresimplifiedandfasterway todothings.Everyonelovesthis.Theylovethewayitcanmakelifesomucheasier.Peopleare alwayswaitingforthenextnewtypetoevolve.Ialwaysseemtohear“Didyouseethenew phonethatdropped?”or“Wereyouabletosnatchoneofthenewgenerationairpods?”Itis unhealthyhowthetiniesttangibleitemscancreatesuchadrumofexcitement. Weseemtobeso caughtupintheworldoftechnologythatoursocietyhasbeguntorevolvearoundit.Wehavean issuewiththeoveruseofitinourworld,andwehavedevelopedtobetoodependentonit.The worldneedstostartattemptingtostrayawayfromouroveruseoftechnologyandreturntoa more“natural”wayoflife.
Icanconfidentlyarguethatoneofthemostpopularandfrequentlyboughtproductsare thoseoftechnology.Thisisthemainproblem.Themoretechnologybought,themorewillbe created.Itwillneverbeenough.Thereisalwaysanewtypeorgenerationreleasedthathassome crazyadditionpersuadingonetobuyit.Ourworldneedstosearchforawaythatwecanlive
FinalDraft
withouttheconstantuseoftechnology.Thisisveryimportant,astheoveruseoftechnologyhas createdadangerousrelianceonit.Itcreatesaworldwhereeveryonebeginstohavethesame ideas;producinganunhealthyherd-likementality.Originalwaysofthinkingarestompedout; onesingularideabecomesthenew“normal”,andpropositionsaresimplyhandedtoyou.This canevenbereferencedinothertexts’,asinRayBradbury’s“Fahrenheit451”,whereeffortless actionswerecompletedbymachines:“Theconverterattachment,whichhadcostthemone hundreddollars,automaticallysuppliedhernamewhenevertheannounceraddressedhis anonymousaudience,leavingablankwherethepropersyllablescouldbefilledin.”Anotherway thatmanyindividualshavebecometooobsessedwithtechnologyistheproblemthatanumerous numberofpeopledescribethemselvesas“uncomfortable”or“weird”withouthavingtheirphone attachedtothematalltimes.Whenhearingpeoplesaythingslike“Ifeelsooffwithoutmy phone”and“Ican’tbelieveIdidn’tbringmyphone!”,onebeginstocontemplatetheactual servicethatphonedelivers.Whatelseisittrulyneededforbesidescallingforhelpincaseof emergency?Manyteensalsoreverttousingtheirdevicesinsituationsthattheymayfeel awkwardorsociallyunabletopartakein.Thisrelianceisdestructivetoyoungadultsasitforces themtodependontechnologytobailthemoutoftimeswherewithouttheirdevices,theywould otherwisebeobligatedtoactuallycommunicatewithothers.Communicationisalifelongskill thatisneededbyanyonewhowantstosucceedinlivingaprolificandenjoyablelife,anditis somethingthatisbeinglostduetotheoveruseoftechnology.Finally,Ifeelasifmachinery makesthepublicneedy,andneverfullysatisfied.Everythingaroundmeseemstomoveata millionmilesperhour.Everyonetriestogeteverythingdoneinasplitsecondjustsotheycan moveontothenexttask.Nooneappearstofindjoyinthemomentanymore.It’salways“How fastcanIcompletethissoIcanmoveon?”:andevenIfallvictimtothisproblem.Weneedto
rememberthatwecannotconcludeallourtaskswithinthatonemoment,andnoteverything needstobechanged“forthebetter”.Somethingsareleftperfectthewaytheyare.Anyonewho buysanytypeofnewtechdeviceisalwayssearchingforthenewsupplementstheycontain,and howtheirlifecanbe“drasticallyimproved”bythem.Thiscausestechnologyuserstohavea veryunsatisfiedoutlookonlife.Oursocietyneedstochangeourwayofthinkingfrom“Whatis thenewestpieceofmachinerythatIcangetmyhandson?”to“HowelsecanIbenefitmyself todaybybeginningtodistancemyselffromthetechnologythatsooftenlysurroundsus?”
Don’tgetmewrong,sometypesoftechnologycanbeveryuseful.Aniphoneinan emergencysituationcansavelives.Thisiswhytheywerecreatedoriginally:asaneasywayto communicatewithothersonthego.Thissimpledeviceoftechnologythendevelopedinto somethingmuchworse.Somethingthatpeoplebecameaddictedto.Manyarenotabletogo anywherewithouttheirdevices,andagain,itseemsasiftheyarebeingphysicallytiedtothem.
Handhelddevicesarejustthebeginning.Technologyisallaroundus,anditisonthepathto takeoverourworld.Wewillsoonbeincapableofthemostsimpletasksbecausewe’llgetso usedtonothavingtocompleteanyofthemthatjusttheideaofthembecomesforeign.Itis obviousthattechnologyisbeingabused,andit’simpossibleforonetosaythatit'snot;justby simplytakingalookaround.Anywhereyoustepthere'sanewtype.It’snecessarythatwefinda waytostopthebleedingandholdontoourabilitytolivewithoutdependingsoheavilyonit.
Allinall,Iwantyoutoreflectuponyourselfandyouruseoftechnology.Haveyou finallyrecognizedthatthereisanoveruseofitinoursociety?Itcreatessomanyundetected issuesinourworld.Manyuseitasabasisofclicheideas,oratacticwhentryingtoavoid uncomfortablesituations.Itcreatesanunsatisfactorysensebyissuingafeelingofneedthatis neverfulfilled.Ihopeyouusethisasalessonanddistanceyourselffromtechnology.Itdoesnot
havetobealtogether,orasifyou’reflippingaswitch.Nexttimeyougotowatchashow,think abouttakingawalkoutside.Nexttimeyoustartscrollingontiktok,wonderifyoucanbedoing anythingelseproductive.Therearesomanywaysonecandoso,ifyoumerelytakethetimeto look.
OPINION PIECE REFLECTION:
Whilecraftingmyargumentativepiece,Icreatedmanydifferentdraftsandexperimented withmanydivergentdevicestoapplycredibilitytomyargument.Iusedthesix-partorationthat westudiedinclassasabasisformypiece,sothisisoriginallyhowIbegantowriteit.Ithen triedtofinalizeeachpartbyincorporatingmanydevicesandappealstopolishthemup.
Forexample,inthebeginningofmypiece,Idirectlycalledontheaudiencetodrawtheir attentionandimmediatelysparktheirinterest.Ialsoquicklyaskedaquestionafter:andindoing so,provokedthereadertoreflectuponthemselves.Thisautomaticallytiesthemtomyargument, forcingthemtosidewithme.Ialsoexperimentedwithmetaphorusebywriting“letmespellit outforyou”toprovidethereaderwithimageryinordertomakemyargumentasclear, straightforward,andagreeableaspossible.ThroughoutmytextIactively workedwithsentence structuretochangeupthelyricalaspectofmywork.Thisallowedmetochangetherhythmof mypieceandkeepthereader’sattentioninsteadofboringthemwithlongwordysentences.In myopinion,themoreshortandcornicetheargumentis,themoreeffectiveitcanbe.
Multipletimeswhenwritingthroughoutsemesterone,Ihadtroublewithutilizing alliterationproperly.ThisiswhyItriedtoincludeitwiththewords dependentanddeveloped.I usedtwowordsthatbeginwiththesamelettertoconnectthetwoideas,andcreateasoundof rhythminmypiece.Whenwritingabouttechnology,manydifferentperspectivescanbebrought up,soitisimportanttogiveastrongtonewhenarguing.Forthisreason,Iincludedtheword confidently.Thetonethatcomeswiththewordconfidentlyisaveryboldone:asitconnotes withtheword.By"confidently"statingmyargument,readershaveahigherinclinetoagreewith me.
Whenwritingourrhetoricalanalysis,andreading“Fahrenheit451”,allusion’swerevery important.Theyprovidetheaudiencewithcredibilityandlogicwheresomestatisticsandfacts maybelost.Iusedanallusionfrom“Fahrenheit451”tobestowcredibilityinmyargument.I wantedtointegrateanallusionintomyworktogiveitcredibility.Inthispiece,Ionlyusedmy generalknowledgeratherthanresearchingfactsandstatistics,soIcouldprepareformyAPtest. EventhoughIdidnothavephysicalevidencetosupportmyclaim,Iwasstillabletocompelmy audiencetobelieveinitwithapowerfulallusiontoaverywell-knownandprestigiousbook. Anothersimplewaytoinspiremyaudiencetosidewithmeiswiththeusefuldeviceof repetition.Ididsowiththewords“everything”and“everyone”.Byoverusingthesetwowords,I wasabletocallouteachandeveryreaderofmywork.Wealldoit,andit'sobviousbecauseof howdependentweareonit.
AlthoughIhavealreadymentionedtone,Iwantedtovaryitthroughout.Forinstance,I heldanurgentandpressingappealthroughoutthebody,butIconcludedwithalightheartedtone attheendofmypiece.Indoingso,Iwasabletogivemyaudienceasenseofhope,andneedfor change.Iwantedthemtousemyargumentasalessonintheirlife,toweanofftheuseof technology
Finally,Iincludedasimileintheendofmyargumenttogivemyreaderanexamplethat theirdistancingfromtechnologydoesnothavetobeallofasudden.Thesimile“asifyou're flippingaswitch”offersimageryformyaudience,andexplainshowtheydonothavetostop theiruseofmachinerylikethesnapofafinger.Itisdifficulttostopusingsomethingasaddicting astechnologythatfast.Thisgivesthemaspirationthattheytoocanreconnectwiththeirnatural side.
NARRATIVE PIECE: MY RECIPE ON GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL:
FirstDraft
Ingredients:
● 1chargedphone
● Analarmsetonyourphone(makesureit'sfortherightday)
● Thisalarmneedstobeattherighttime(changesdailyduetoschedule)
● Thewilltogetoutofyourwarmbed
● 1dogtosaygoodmorningto
● Atoiletsoyoucanuseitbeforeschool
● YourO.O.T.D.
● Abrush,deodorant,perfume,andhighlighter/mascaratocompletetheoutfit
● Breakfast!
● FilledwaterbottlewithH20andHImix
Instructions:
● Getoutofbedwhenyouhearyouralarm!1sttime…
● Gotoyourdogandsaygoodmorning!
● Gotothebathroom
● Brushyourteeth
● Gobacktoyourroomandpickyourfit
● Brushyourhair
● Puthighlighterinthecornerofyoureye
● Pickupbagandrundownstairs
● Fillupwaterbottle,andaddHImix
● Eatbreakfast
● Leaveforschool
SecondDraft
Ingredients:
● One*charged*phone
● Analarmsetonyourphone(AM)
● Thecorrectalarmforeachday(changesfromtimetotime)
● Thewilltogetoutofyourbed
● 1Auggietosayhelloto
● Atoiletsoyoucanusethebathroom
● Toothpasteandatoothbrush
● YourO.O.T.D:outfitoftheday
● Onebrush
● Onebarofdeodorant
● Oneperfumebottle
● Highlighter,bronzer,andmascaratoavoidlookinglikeaghost
● Breakfast!!!
● OnefilledwaterbottlewithH20andH.I.mix
Instructions:
● Getoutofbedwhenyouralarmgoesoffforthefirsttime!DON’TWAIT
● GotoAuggie’sbedandsaygoodmorning
● Gotothebathroom
● Brushyourteethanddrinkyourmorningwater
● Gobacktoyourroomandpickthelazydayfit
● Brushyourhair
● Puthighlighterinthecornerofyoureyeandonthebridgeofyournose
● Unplugyourchromebookandputitinyourbackpack
● Pickupyourbagandrundownstairs
● FillupyourwaterbottlewiththeH.I.mixtureandwater
● Eatyourbreakfast;VERYimportant
● Getinthecaranddoyourmascara;DON’Tmessupandgetiteverywhere!
FinalDraft
Ingredients:
1*charged*phone
Analarmsetonyourphone(AMandnotPM!)
Thecorrectalarmforeachday(changesfromdaytoday)
The will togetoutofyourcozywarmbed
1Auggie babytosaygoodmorningto
Atoiletsoyoucanusethe bathroombeforeschool!
Toothpasteandatoothbrushtocure morning breath
YourO.O.T.D---->OutfitoftheDay(probablygoingtobeahoodieandsweatsagain…)
1brush
1barofdeodorant(OldSpicemen’spreferably)and1perfumebottle(AribyAriana Grandeofcourse!)
Highlighter,bronzer,and mascar toavoidlookinglikeaghost;andtocompletethe outfit!
Breakfast!!!
1filledwaterbottlewithice,H20andH.I.mixture
Instructions:
Getoutofbedwhenyouralarmgoesoffforthefirsttime!DON’TWAIT
GotoAuggie’sbedandsaygoodmorning
Usethebathroom
Brushyourteethanddrinkyourmorningwater
Gobacktoyourroomand carefully selectthelazydayfit
Brushthat rat’s nest ofaheadofhair
Puthighlighterinthecornerofyoureyeandonthebridgeofyournose(blend itout!)
Unplugyourchromebookandputitinyourbackpack(akeyingredienttosucceedin school)
Pickupyourbagand run downstairs
FillupyourwaterbottlewiththeH.I.mixtureand water
Eatyourbreakfast;VERYimportant
Getinthecaranddoyour mascara;DON’Tmessupandgetiteverywhere!
Onceyouarriveto school, stepoutofthecarandATTEMPTtomakeitthroughtheday
NARRATIVE PIECE REFLECTION:
Ifirstconstructedthisrecipeforanassignmentthatwecompletedinclass.Weweretold toexperimentwithdifferentgenresofwritinglike“howto’s”andrecipes.Thiswasdivertingto measitwassomethingnewIhadneverdonebeforethatIcouldtryout.Iuserecipesallthetime whencookingorbaking,althoughIhadneverthoughtaboutcreatingarecipeforsomething otherthanfood.
Webeganwithresearchingrecipesandnotingalloftheingredientsandinstructionsthey gave.Eachonerecitedingredientsandtheiramountneededinabulletedlist.Underthat,they includedtheinstructionsandwhatwasneededtodowitheachingredient.AfterIhadlookedat multipledifferenttypesofrecipes,Iwantedtodraftmyown.ItriedtothinkofsomethingthatI doeveryday,aroundthesametime,inthemostsimilarway.Theninstantly,Ithoughtofit. School.Gettingreadyforit.Idoiteverydayexcludingtheweekends,andIhavethesame routineeachmorning.So,Ibegantowritemyrecipeonhowtogetreadyforschool.Iusedthe onesIhadresearchedonlineasanexampletocreatemyown.Ibeganbylistingalltheobjects thatIusetogetreadyforschool,likedeodorant,clothes,perfume,etc;orthingsIneededto bringlikeawaterbottleandmybackpack.Ithenstartedanewlinewiththeinstructions.I explainedhowtoutilizetheseingredientsandproperlygetreadyfortheday.Afterfinishingmy firstdraft,Itriedtomakemysecondsoundasprofessionalasanormalrecipewould.Indoing so,Irealizedthatthiswouldn’tconnecttomepersonally,soIcreatedonemoredraft.Sincethis wasarecipeforhowIgetreadyforschool,itmadesensetometoincludelittletidbitsof informationorreminderstomyselfoftasksthatIshoulddo.
Inaddition,whentransitioningfrommysecondtofinaldraft,Iexperimentedwithmany ofthetoolsthatgoogledocssuppliesitsusers.Throughoutmytext,Iusedthehighlighttool, changedthefontandcolorofmytextup,bolded/underlinedwords,oritalicizedotherones.For example,Iboldedandaddedasterisk’stoeachsideoftheword“charged”whenreferencingmy phone.Thealarmisthemostimportantingredientwhengettingready,soitissovitalthatthe phoneIneeditforischarged.Ialsoplayedaroundwithdictioninmyrecipe,specificallywith thetwowords“cozy”and“warm”.Indoingso,Ihighlightedhowharditistogetoutofbedin themorning;somethingwecanallappealto.Thismayalsoprovokemyreadertousemyrecipe whentheyneedtogetreadyforschoolaswell.Whenlistingmyingredients,Ifirstspelledout theword“one”becausethatishowIhavealwaysdoneitinthepast.Wheneverwritinganytype oftext,itisexpectedthatnumbersfromonetotenarespelledout,sothat’swhatIdid.When lookingbackatmyotherdrafts,Irealizedthatitwouldmakemoresensetowritethenumber oneinitsnumberform,becausethat’showalloftherecipesdoso.Ifeelasifthisreally completedmyrecipe,andestablisheditscredibility.
OneofthefinaldevicesIusedwasatoneofurgencyandimportancethroughoutmy tone.AdistincttimewhereIintertwinedthistoneinmypiecewaswhenIinstructedthereader toeatbreakfast.ThiswassomethingIreallystruggledwithafewmonthsago,andIhave realizedit’saveryimportantmealthatshouldnotbeskipped.It’sunhealthytogotoschool
withouthavingthemostimportantmealoftheday.Myfinalinstructioninmyrecipewasto “attempt”tomakeitthroughtheschoolday.Manyofmypeersfeelthesameasme;thatit’s difficulttogetthroughthedaywithapositiveattitude.Inthelastlineofmypiece,Ibolded, underlinedandspelledout“attempt”inallcapitalizedletterstohighlighttheimportanceof makinganeffortthroughoutyourschoolday.Althoughmanyholdanegativeconnotationwith school,givinganattempttodoone’sutmostisasignificantinstructioninmyrecipetosucceed duringtheschoolday.
SEMESTER ONE WRITER’S REFLECTION:
AsItakealookbackthroughallofmyphysicalworkofsemesterone,alotofemotion arisesinme.Readingthrougheachofmytextsmakesthestrenuouslaborthatwasneededto createthemsomuchmoreworthit.It'shumoroushowonedoesnotrealizehowwelltheycan writeiftheysimplytakethetimetodoso.
ThisiswhyIampleasedwithmanyofmywritingpiecesthroughoutsemesterone.These textsgavemeanewoutlookonwritingasawhole.Forinstance,inthepast,Iwouldalways connotatewritingwithhugeessayassignments.Itissomuchmorethanthat.Writingcanappear insomanydifferentways:frompoems,tosongs,tospeeches,toletters;thelistcouldcontinue onforever. Ihaveenjoyedexperimentingwithdifferenttypesofwritinginthiscourse.Itwas excitingtowriteinothermediumsthanjustthesimpleparagraphstyle:likewhenwritingrecipes or“howto’s”.Whileasmallamountofthisworkwasexperimentalandfun,asignificantamount oftheworkIhavedoneinAPLanghasbeenveryarduous.Itischallengingtowriteinfields likerhetoricorcreatingworkslike'precis’thatyouhavehadnopastexperiencewith.Atthe sametime,thisiswhereIwasabletothriveandlearnsomuchmoreaboutthecraftofwriting.I wasabletowriteinwaysthatIneverexpectedofmyself;onecouldgoasfarastosaylikea professor!
WhenclaimingthatIcouldevensoundlikeaprofessor,Imaybealittleaheadofmyself, butIhavesharpenedsomanyofmywritingskillsinthisclassthatIcanbegintosoundlikea morematureandcrediblesource.Forinstance,Ihaveworkedveryhardwhenchoosingdiction inmytexts,asIalwaystrytochooseamoreprestigioussynonymforanoverusedsimpleword. Thiscanbedifficultattimes,becauseitisnotaseasyaslookingupasynonymforacertain word.Youcouldfindawordyoulike,andthinkthatitbelongsinthatspot,butwhenaneducator comesalongtoreadit,theystatethatitdoesn’tmakesense.AnotherareaIpushedmyselfinwas tocreatesentenceswithmoredepththatstillobtain“correctstructure.”Thiscouldrangefrom turningwhatpreviouslywouldhavebeenrun-onsentencesintobeautifullycraftedandlogical ones;ordraftingpowerfulonetotwowordsentencesthatstickwiththereader. However,therewereafewtimeswhenIhadtroublewithdoingso.Whenattemptingto developorganizationforthesesentencestotiethemalltogether,Ihaddifficultywithtime management.Forexample,manytimeswhenwritinglongerpiecesoftext,itwouldfeellikeI wastakingforevertogetthesmallestamountofwritingonthepage.Whenthishappened,I wouldgetverydownonmyselfandstarttostressoutaboutthesmallestdetail.Ineededto realizethatinthemomentIshouldforgetaboutthatonewordorlineIwassearchingfor,and continueontothebulkofmypiece.ThetimemanagementskillsIearnedfromthatonelesson havebeenveryusefultomethroughoutthiscourse.
Itriedtousemanyoftheseabilitieswhenwritinginsemesterone,andthewayIutilized themallowedmetotakeprideinmywork.Tobemorespecific,Iammostpleasedwithmythird rhetoricalanalysis,my“Fahrenheit451”precis,andmy“WhereI’mFromPoem.”Whenfirst beingintroducedtorhetoricalanalysis’Iwasveryconcerned.Ithoughtitwasthishuge
assignmentthatIwouldneverbeabletocompletewithin40minutes.Although,afterpracticing annotatingtextsandidentifyingdevices,theydidn’tseemallthatbad.Fromdrafttodraft,Iwas abletousemytimemorewiselyandgetmoreideasonthepaper.Mythirdrhetoricalanalysis wasbyfarmybest,becauseIwasabletogobackandfinalizeit;asIuseditwhenwehadto selectandeditourbestrhetoricalanalysistoturnin.ItwasherethatIreallyworkedonmy credibilityandmaturenessinwritingwithmyadvanceddiction,useofsimilesandmetaphors, andvaryingsentencestructure.
Inmy“Farenheit451”precis,Ireallyworkedonkeepingmywritingconciseandtothe point.ThiswassomethingthatIstruggledwithalotinsemesterone.Aprecisisatypeof writingwhereoneissortofforcedtocontaintheirideasinamannerthatisstraighttothepoint, whichIstrugglewithconstantly.Iamveryproudofthispiece,becauseittookmealengthy amountoftimetocraftandchoosetheperfectwaytoorganizemyideasandthoughts.
My“WhereI’mFromPoem”isaperfectexampleofatypeofwritinginwhichIwas abletocreateanoriginalpiecethatwaslikenoother.Itwasn’tatypicalessayorlongresearch projectwhereIwasn’tallowedtoincludeanyofmyinternalopinionsorideas.Icreatedmyown “WhereI’mFromPoem”,andIconnectedwithsomanyoldmemoriesthatIthoughtIhadlost. Itwasamazingtomejusthowmuchemotioncouldbecreatedbywritingsomethingassimpleas apoem.
IfIhavelearnedanythingfromsemesterone,itwouldbethatlearninghowtowritewith moredepthandmeaningisoneofthemostimportanttoolsIwillneedthroughoutmyeducation, andintoadulthoodaswell.Havingtheabilitytocommunicateideasthroughamorematureand reputablevoicewillbeoneofthemostusefulskillstomeinmylifetime.
