22 West Magazine - 2022 May Issue

Issue 88.03 · May 02, 2022 · 22westmedia.com

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LETTER FROM AN EDITOR

MAGAZINE STAFF Andres Leon, Editor-in-Chief editorinchief@22westmedia.com Jensen Puckett, Managing Editor managingeditor@22westmedia.com Avery Keller, Lead Copy Editor copyeditor@22westmedia.com Lianna Schieber, Distribution Manager distributionmanager@22westmedia.com

This one is all about fear, baby.

As we inch closer to our own graduation, the real world becomes ever more apparent with all its ugly, its bad and its uncertainity. It seems like all we can really do is try to make sense of what we already know to better ourselves for what’s to come. Boldly seeking out our fears, drop kicking them and more importantly learning from them. But man does it come in many forms. From post grad, to clowns, to long words, to even therapy, there’s lots to be said and lots of fighting to do. I believe reading through what we have presented here

Jake Winkle, Art Director artdirector@22westmedia.com Arielle Zepeda, Graphic Design Intern

COVER DESIGN

will give you some tips and tricks and maybe even a couple cheat codes to fight

Jake Winkle, Designer

your own fears. But don’t take my word for it, I’m literally just the person who

@jaekwinkle · jakewinkle.com

makes this whole thing look pretty.

And yet nothing about this issue is at all pretty. My goal as the Art Director for this issue was to have things be visually off. Stretched headlines, jumbled headlines, headlines that look like dirt, headlines that look hairy, headlines that look... you get the point. Of course, the idea of “fear” isn’t really a visual thing or at least something easy to reference from. In the beginning, I genuinely thought it was some controlled formula like, “red and black combo always mean fear everyone knows that, duh.” I immediately realized that wasn’t at all the case, and that this theme of fear was more about disbelief, confusion and ideas so big that it’s impossible to wrap our heads around.

That’s why to me fear is really just something we don’t understand and to make sense of that we block it out thereby giving it power over us. However, once we accept a fear in all its weirdness, confusion and scale is it really ever that scary? At a first glance of course, but I think if we just know a little bit more about what it is that acutally scares us, conquering it isn’t such an unattainable feat. Hopefully through one of these articles we got here, you reach that realization with one of your own fears. But I guess you gotta read this to find out.

JAKE WINKLE, ART DIRECTOR

VOLUNTEER MEETINGS No Meetings Over Summer Break Contact @Editorinchief@22westmedia.com or DM @22westlb on Instagram

CONTACT US Email: info@22westmedia.com Mail: 1212 Bellflower Blvd, Suite 108 Long Beach, CA 90815 Disclaimer and Publication Information: 22 West Magazine is published using ad money and partial funding provided by the Associated Students, Inc. All Editorials are the opinions of their individual authors, not the magazine, ASI nor LBSU. All students are welcome and encouraged to be a part of the staff. All letters to the editor will be considered for publication. However, LBSUstudents will have precedence. Please include name and major for all submissions.

They are subject to editing and will not be returned. Letters may or may not be edited for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and length. 22 West Magazine will publish anonymous letters, articles, editorials, and illustrations, but must have your name and information attached for our records. Letters to the editor should be no longer than 500 words. 22 West Magazine assumes no responsibility, nor is it liable, for claims of its advertisers. Grievance procedures are available in the Associated Students business office.

Photo by Fabian Rubio

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OPINION

BY CAROLINE SMITH

The World is B OR HOW I STOPPED WORRYING AND LEARNED TO LOVE THE EARTH

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ou can read all the data sets and statistics you want. Whether it’s depleting carbon emissions in half by 2050 or the last sea turtles on earth, each day is a race to mass extinction. And as much as you want to stop climate change in its tracks, no amount of metal straws or carpools will stop the rate we hurtle towards heatwaves in December and the Port of Long Beach sinking into the Pacific Ocean.

This is the existential pain of caring about the climate. As much as you want to change the world, your tiny individual actions seem to change nothing.

Climate anxiety and ecological PTSD are very real phenomena that are becoming more prominent. I used to be the same way, having sudden bursts of climate anxiety, wanting to never use a plastic thing again and trying to be environmentally pure.

That was until this semester when I enrolled in environmental literature with Professor George Hart here at Long Beach State University. I thought the class would be pretty basic, looking at nature in romantic poetry, the sublime and all that, but it turned out it focused on ecological theory and how to implement it, as well as a service learning element. Restoring a marsh at the Los Cerritos wetlands is a unique kind of homework assignment.

I asked Professor Hart what he thinks is special about his class: “The service learning component makes it unique for me. I don’t teach any other class like this, and so connecting what we’re reading in a literature class with actual community work that needs to be done and makes a difference, is really special. It shows students how to take ideas from literature that you don’t think could really apply to anything and find their relevance.”

This class ended up completely shifting how I think about the environment and where I learned that I was fine, actually. I needed to relax and chill out, long enough to realize that I was already being ecological.

It’s completely understandable to be stressed out by data dumps. Hearing how the sea levels are rising 0.14 inches a year leaves you with no action to take. You hear that number and are immediately discouraged by the fact that there is nothing you could do to change that. So as much as we want to think that a data set and some graphs can shock the world into changing, there is no clear action to take.

A quote from Octavia Butler’s “The Parable of the Sower” explains this better than I could, “It’s better to teach people than to scare them.” People will stay motivated with the climate cause if they are taught the path. What is important is the personal experience. This doesn’t mean a personal experience with a climate disaster, we shouldn’t have to wait for everyone in the world to be caught in a hurricane to believe in climate change, but also interaction with the environment. You should care about the environment for environment’s sake.

Because you grew up near a park with a creek that had frogs singing or you went to the beach where sea lions played in the surf. You should be connected to the environment.

To see ourselves as a part of the environment instead of the ruler of it, we need to dismantle our anthropocentric view of the world. Anthropocentric means centered around humans, and this current era of Earth’s life is called the anthropocene because of the profound effect we’ve had on Earth’s history. For the most part, the human instinct is to believe we’re at the center of the universe and through innovation and self-realization, we have triumphed over nature. However, if we always have the idea that we are superior to all other parts of the world, we are going to have a lot of trouble finding the motivation to change. You’re not special. Or at least just as special as everything else.

“YOU’RE NOT SPECIAL. OR AT LEAST JUST AS SPECIAL AS EVERYTHING ELSE.”

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ILLUSTRATION BY MADISON HOIBY

s Burning

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We’re All

Gonna Die

The way to get over our anthropocentrism is to realize that we are a part of this world, and are connected to all other living and nonliving things.

This is what philosopher Timothy Morton calls “the Mesh,” a sort of explosion of contextualization. If we think about all things in the universe existing in an infinite, connecting fabric, the idea that our actions have an effect seems more plausible. By rejecting your anthropocentric notions and placing yourself on an equal plane to a squirrel, a tree, and the ocean, you find the inherent worth in these things and yourself.

Many ideas in ecological philosophy are influenced by Traditional Ecological Knowledge. Hart describes its importance as this: “It is respecting and understanding the wisdom and the experience of the indigenous peoples that had lived in the places for millennia and generations. They have adapted their human communities and culture to the place in very specific ways. They understand what the plants do, what the animals do. They actively maintained and altered the environments but for the good of humans and the other species.

That’s the kind of knowledge that we can look to as the caretakers of the land here before us.”

Another element of ecological talk is centered around trying to go back to the past or trying to preserve our present. Often, when we imagine our future, it looks pretty similar to our present, just with the potential problems erased away.

It’s tempting to think that we can keep living the way we do with only a few small changes, but that kind of thinking will perpetuate the problem. We

“WE HAVE TO CHANGE HERE AND NOW SO WE CAN CREATE A BETTER FUTURE.” cannot demand to keep using the same amount of energy and increasing efficiency when the solution requires so much more change than that. We cannot expect to stay the same in the present and our future to change. We have to change here and now so we can create a better future.

So what are these serious changes then?

How do we “be ecological?” By reading this you are already on the right track. You are taking time to examine your view of the environment. While the whole course has been about finding the answer, I asked Hart to simplify it. “I think the idea of coexistence, that’s one of Timothy Morton’s big ideas, and to be ecological is recognizing that we exist with other species, and they’ve got an equal claim to the world and their place on the planet. Again, in Morton’s book we read in class, ‘Being Ecological,’ he says, you’re already being ecological and you may not even know it. So his goal is to say, ‘yeah, look for the things where you’re being ecological in your day-to-day life and that will help you. Instead of becoming a monk or going to live out in the desert in a cave, you can continue to do what you do. He says, “to coexist nonviolently with others, that is the goal.’”

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STUDENT LIFE

BY JUDE SAMPSON

R E F A OD T HE

F

O

OF

In the early stages of my life

I found only solace in food. I did not denote any foods as good or bad. Food meant that I was in the presence of my rather large family who instilled the idea of tradition in its younger generation through old recipes and time spent cooking and eating together. I yearn to be young again, a time in my life where I enjoyed food so unapologetically and so earnestly.

Outside of my family gatherings, the kisses on the cheek after a meal were replaced with a chorus of laughter from my peers. I was proud of how much I could eat. I was proud of the diverse palette I had compared to other kids my age. However, this pride turned to shame as I got older and kids became meaner. Sure, my parents got mad when I stopped eating my lunches but at least the kids at school had one less reason to torment me.

It was as my body began to change with puberty and the looming threat of depression that I realized I had to force myself to be afraid of food, I thought.

In my head, eating food meant gaining weight.

Gaining weight meant “looking fat.” “Looking fat” in middle school meant having a target on my back. I equated not eating with surviving socially and quickly turned my enthusiasm for food into an enthusiasm for thinness.

Alas, thinness never came for me. During these years of restrictive and harmful eating I quickly learned that discrimination toward plus-size people seeped its way into every corner of our lives.

I not only had to endure this treatment at school, but at a place everyone should feel comfortable, accommodated, and listened to: the doctor’s office.

An entirely different article could be written about the general fear people have of going to the doctor, but for plus-size folks, it’s a whole new

ballgame. Healthcare providers are notorious for not only stigmatizing overweight patients but refusing certain tests and treatments under the guise that their suggestion to “lose more weight” is all the treatment that patients need. An editorial in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) from February 2019 showed that in a survey of primary care doctors, 50% of them “viewed obese patients as awkward, unattractive, ugly, and noncompliant.”

My first run-in with a doctor like this was when I was 13. A pretty formative age, right? They did not seem to care. I went in for a routine physical, and I left being told that I needed to lose 70 pounds. She gave me no resources. No pamphlets. Nothing. She said “See you back in three months. Hope you’ll make some progress,” then slammed the door in my face. What did she think the outcome of her words would be? That I would come back in three months 70 pounds lighter, ready to be the poster kid for beating childhood obesity? Her words have stuck with me for the rest of my life, regardless of how much I have grown as a person. Hearing such daunting, fear-mongering language from healthcare professionals makes plus-size people scared to ask questions, which can prolong what underlying condition remains undiagnosed at the hands of biased doctors.

“Noncompliant” is the word from that survey that stings particularly bad. I hate to make such a simple statement, but fat people have lives too. Fat people work long hours and have bills to pay, homes to take care of, and in some cases, kids too! Fat people, just like a majority of society, are under the strain of tumultuous, busy lives that don’t facilitate the most time for thinking about yourself and your own health. It’s such a sad truth to write, but it’s my own as well.

I’m a full-time student who commutes. I work

part-time. I’m internship hunting. At the end of the day, the only thing on my mind is making up for the

day’s lack of food in any way, shape, or form and getting into bed. I am constantly beating myself up for not having a “rise and grind” mentality. Why shouldn’t I get up at 5 a.m. to go on a run? Other people do it! Why can’t I meal prep for the week and calorie count as I cook? Other people do it! This is where the fear begins to dissipate. I am not “other people.” “Other people” are not me.

No one has the same body as another person.

We are all unique in our body composition, our metabolism, and our cravings. No one else has the same 24 hours, either. Of course, people who have ample time and money find it easy to work out and meal prep and find “healthy food” with ease. Folks who, in comparison, have little time and money use whatever leftovers they have of each to find some semblance of peace in their lives. The “calories in, calories out” agenda that gets pushed on us by influencers and fitness gurus is proof that people who have a more flexible 24 hours find that burning off all of the food you ate that day is feasible. It is in fact not feasible. For so many people. We cannot continue to assume that all people are affronted the same resources, just as we are all not given the same time in the day.

“I QUICKLY LEARNED THAT DISCRIMINATION TOWARD PLUS-SIZE PEOPLE SEEPED ITS WAY INTO EVERY CORNER OF OUR LIVES.”

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ILLUSTRATION BY PATRICK DAUGHERTY

With these realizations, I gave new life to my body. I reveled in every stretch mark, every freckle, and every part of me that caved in with the push of a finger. It felt like my own for the first time in a long time. How could I do this same thing with food?

How could I prevent myself from almost cowering in fear to something that is an absolute life force for all creatures on this planet?

I began to associate food with new memories.

Memories that live inside of this newfound body.

Now, food is the Taiwanese restaurant in Highland Park that me and my sister visit so often the workers become sick of us. Food is the car

packed with friends I took through the Taco Bell drive through in the dead of night because one person said “potato taco” and everyone nodded in agreement. Food is the bagels me and my friends got before saying goodbye to our friend one last time before she went away to school. Food is sending a mandatory picture to that same group chat of friends everytime one of us gets a bagel.

Food is looking around at my friend’s everytime we see each other, and remembering when I was too scared to eat around them, instead being happy as we stand in one of our kitchens, cooking pasta and playing music and laughing amongst food we have made to enjoy.

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For anyone reading this and struggling with eating and/or body image issues, please understand what I am about to say. No two people have the same way of making it over this hurdle.

I almost forced myself to find peace. You may not be capable of that, and it’s okay. Be patient with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Find solace in the people in your life that affirm and understand your struggles. While these support systems are important, seek to find comfort in yourself.

Comfort in your own body. Comfort in the food that fuels that body.

Trading fear for comfort is what saved my life.

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FEATURE

BY KADIE GURLEY

ILLUSTRATION BY ARIELLE ZEPEDA

HOW OUR OWN ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE IN ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES

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ecycling bins, hydration stations, sustainable straws, and transportation are some resources that LBSU has incorporated on campus. As a matter of fact, there is a program on campus to integrate sustainability. The environment is something that is affecting not only staff or faculty, but students too. According to a Students Organizing For Sustainability International survey amongst 7,000 students in higher education, 92% agree that sustainable development is something which all universities and colleges should actively incorporate and promote. The world is at a place

“WITH ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES COMING TO LIGHT, THERE IS A NEED FOR MORE PEOPLE TO TAKE ACTION.” where the younger generation is becoming “woke” about current climate and environmental issues.

The students in the Environmental Science and Policy club are making a difference on and off campus.

“Essentially, we meet once a week for 30 to 45 minutes and like to discuss an environmental topic that the club votes on,” said Naya Shah, environmental science and policy major. “You can come in and learn something new about an interesting topic or a way to help out, just kind of share ideas.”

The club wanted to make sure this message was clear. “Environmental science is something that gets a lot of different majors involved because environmental issues are so prevalent and everyone seems to care a lot,” said Alex Lynch, environmental science and policy major.

Shah and Lynch, both environmental science and policy majors, mentioned how you do not necessarily need to be that major to participate in the club or any of their events. “Our club is always open to any major and we get plenty of people from other majors to come and talk about the big topic of the day which is the climate issue,” said Lynch.

“They just want to know more about what is going on.”

With environmental issues coming to light, there is a need for more people to take action. The ES&P club is striving to help more students apply for scholarships. Also, they want to help students get internships and potentially a career to help tackle the climate. On April 12, ES&P hosted a career panel for students interested in working in environmental science. “The career panel is essentially a little job fair for environmental science,” said Shah. “It is a way for people who are looking for internships to get started, people who are listening to seek work to get started, and just general knowledge.”

As mentioned before, they host on campus events and meetings, but the club partakes in off-campus activities such as hiking and their event on April 22. ES&P marched to Target in protest of the corporation partaking in several emissions at the port.

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“We are co-hosting a march protest to Target and co-hosting it with a group that is called Pacific Environment,” said Lynch. “We are basically trying to bring awareness to the fact that Target is participating in a lot of emissions at the port, which causes a lot of damage to people’s lives. We are walking from the Pyramid to the Target south of campus.

We are just trying to bring it up so that maybe they will have to deal and kind of reckon with and make some changes to reduce their emissions at the port and otherwise.”

When asked if the campus is doing a decent job in adapting to needed sustainability changes, this is what the club had to say. “We have a sustainability department, which is good, a good step because they push, meet with, and work with all other departments to try to improve their sustainability the best they can,” said Lynch. “At the end of the day, it takes pressure from all sides. Adding more solar panels and native gardening is a big thing that we could do a lot better on, but there is no pressure to do it.”

These students look forward to influencing others to make a difference and using their voices to make a change in our environment one day at a time. If you want to learn more about getting involved in the ES&P club or attend club meetings, visit their Instagram @csulbesp or the ASI website.

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STUDENT LIFE

BY JUDE DE LUNA

HAVE YOU EVER LIVED IF YOU CAN’T RECOLLECT YOUR FINEST MOMENTS?

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t took me a really long time to write this article, and I didn’t know why, but as soon as I finished, I realized that this is one of the only times I’ve confronted how scary it is having such large gaps in my memory.

I never thought of it seriously, mainly because I have avoided addressing the topic directly for a long time. I joked a lot about how having a bad memory can be a kind of superpower. I can consume my favorite pieces of media time and time again and it feels new every time. I get spoilers and I can just distract myself enough to forget it. Some embarrassing moments are immediately blocked out. No randomly remembering some awkward moment from the fourth grade for me!

All of those obviously outstanding positives on one side, the negatives of this so-called power

surely cannot stand a chance, right? It’s more like a curse that I never learned how to face. I cannot reconcile with the fact that I can’t even remember things like the conversations I have with my friends and family. People tell me details about themselves in passing, like their favorite color, their allergies, and even their birthday and I can hardly recall. The conversation becomes a block of TV static in my mind, and it’s not like I wasn’t interested. It just couldn’t stick! I even had a somewhat completed draft written out for this article all in my head, but – surprise, surprise – I forgot most of what I wanted to say. You would think that I would know myself well enough by now, but I always overestimate the capacity of my negligible memory.

One thing that really gets me is how I cannot remember most of my younger years. If I were to

estimate how much I really recall, I would say that I know 5% of my elementary and middle school days, and about 20% of high school. Of course there’s no random awkward fourth grade memory to torture me, because there’s nothing at all stored in my miniscule memory storage unit. My friends and family bring up how I used to act when I was younger, and I can’t ever believe what they say.

They tell stories, and then it’s me interrupting saying, “I did that?” or “Wait, what happened?” It is frustrating, and if I were to let this continue, who would I become? How will I grow if I cannot remind myself of who I used to be? The possibility of me regressing into an old me grows when I cannot remember my history, no matter how cringey it may be.

Even some of my so-called “best days of my life” are part of memories that escape me. There are so many things that I can recall doing, like traveling with my family around the Philippines, going to see my favorite artists in concerts, and even my graduation, but the specifics of these pivotal moments seemingly evade my every try to remember. I know that it happened, but the fact that I will never be able to truly look back on all the little particulars fondly is disheartening, and frightening.

Years ago, I realized that journaling was something that could help with this little problem. I filled up a journal every year. When my friends asked me why I liked to journal, I always said that I liked to reflect on my feelings every night, making myself sound so emotionally aware. Sure, that was definitely an added bonus to it, but it’s not like it was the truth. I toiled away in those little notebooks for the sole reason of documenting every single thing that happened every day. I brought my journal around and wrote in it all of the things that I liked or disliked. I noted down all the jokes that made me laugh, the things that annoyed me, and the overall people watching I had done. This went for most of high school until my first year of college. Meanwhile, a new predicament arose in the years. As I reminisce, the only thing I see is my journaling. I was too worried, and I even remember thinking “I’m going to journal this, I need to remember this” but I never retained the actual memory. Reading the journals was a poor substitute for the real thing, but I had grown too dependent at that point. My hand was weary from all the writing, but if it weren’t for me writing everything down, what would become of me?

Well, one day in the summer before my sophomore year in college, I found that my mother threw

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ILLUSTRATION BY STACEY CHEN

away all of my journals. She said it was just collecting dust, serving no real purpose. Those entries were the only thing I had to cling onto in my teenage years, and they were instantly gone. I obviously don’t remember October 5, 2017, but my journal did. Nevertheless, it was forcibly erased. After that, I didn’t have the energy to continue. I let myself, and my mind, waste away. Then, the pandemic started and my motivation to remember things diminished even more. I can’t think of anything from 2020, but at least in this case, I am sure I am not alone in that.

As the world goes on, with things gradually getting better, I have grown to regret that period of time that I let myself go, but I have also realized that it wasn’t good to obsess over journaling so much. It has taken a long time for me to reconcile with the fact that I can’t remember everything in my life. The fear is there, but it is not too strong anymore. As I go forward, I will enjoy the moment instead of scribbling it all down. I definitely don’t remember how I got here exactly, but it must’ve been good since I know I want to keep going. I’ll

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“ONE THING THAT REALLY GETS ME IS HOW I CANNOT REMEMBER MOST OF MY YOUNGER YEARS.” have my friends and family with me to remind me of the good times, and to create new ones that I can cherish, no matter how short-term it may be.

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OPINION

BY LAUREN GALVAN

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THE DARK FUTURE ILLUSTRATION BY PATRICK DAUGHERTY

WHY WORRY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAPPEN WHEN YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT THE NOW

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t finally happened. My mother and I were talking in her room like we always do, just enjoying each other’s company, when she popped the anxiety-inducing question, “what are you going to do after you graduate?”

With graduation right around the corner, I find myself growing more and more worried every day.

When my mother asked that question, I panicked and asked her if she was going to kick me out. I knew she wasn’t but I wanted to dodge the hard question as quickly as possible.

A few days later, she brought it up again, genuinely curious about what I have planned for my future.

Since then, I have been in a continuous spiral thinking about finally leaving the safety net that college provided me.

I have been a student for 18 years, five of which were dedicated to being a college student. Being in school has provided me with a safe space that I knew I could always fall back on. It has given me a community of friends and professors who I knew would always be there. There has always been a certain feeling of comfort that came with being a full-time student. Who am I without that safety net? What will become of me when I finally leave this chapter of my life?

There has always been something to advance to after a level of education. When you leave sixth grade, you go to middle school, and after that, you go to high school. You can even decide to carry on with college, and the options are endless when it comes to choosing the college and major you want

to pursue. There is a lot to look forward to and a sea of things to explore. Even then, it comes with the familiarity of something we have been doing since we were children.

As far back as I can remember, I know I have always loved writing. When I chose to become a journalism student, I decided that that was what I wanted to dedicate my higher education to.

I know that I love the field I have chosen, so why do I find myself freaking out every time my future becomes the topic of conversation? It could have to do with my commitment issues, but that is for my therapist’s ears only.

When I think about my future, my mind draws a blank, and I feel like I need to bury myself in my school work to help distract myself. Then, I find myself thinking about how I will no longer have school work to fall back on, and thus, the vicious cycle starts all over again.

There are only a couple of weeks left until I finally get a handshake and my bachelor’s degree handed to me. Not only that, I have finals and projects that need to get done before I can even think about enjoying my graduation. And now, my mother has decided to plague my mind with the question I fear the most.

For some reason, after all I have done to build up a decent resume, I feel like it isn’t enough and that my portfolio, which is filled with five years’ worth of articles, won’t help me get a job. Journalism is one of those fields where you always get asked, “what are you going to do with a degree like that?” or, my

FEAR ISSUE 88.03

personal favorite, “is that even a real major?” Even though I will defend my choice until I am blue in the face, those questions eat away at me and haunt my mind. What am I going to do with my degree?

The answer: I have no idea, but I know that I have people who will support me and my decisions no matter what. It is strange, knowing that I can apply to any job and look qualified on paper but feel like I have no business being in the field yet.

I have to remind myself that, even though I don’t have a job lined up for after I graduate, that doesn’t mean that I won’t find one, and it doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough to find a place that will hire me.

Self-worth is not based on who makes the most money or who gets the nicest job straight out of college, but it is about the quality and the passion you put into your work.

Even though I am absolutely terrified of what the future holds for me, I think I am going to be just fine…as long as no one else asks me what I am going to do after I graduate. Life is hard enough right now, and I want the vicious cycle of worrying to end for the time being. Let me finish finals in peace, and then maybe we can talk about the dark mass of nothing that is my future.

“SELF-WORTH IS NOT BASED ON WHO MAKES THE MOST MONEY OR WHO GETS THE NICEST JOB STRAIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE.” 13

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OPINION

BY LAUREN GALVAN

Losing Reproductive Rights THE FIGHT FOR REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS IS NEVER ENDING

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he war on reproductive rights has been an ongoing debate for decades now. However, the time has finally come when we must face the reality of it possibly getting overturned.

Roe v. Wade, a landmark decision from 1973 that helps protect a women’s right to an abortion and privacy, is currently under fire with serious talks of it being overturned sometime between May and July of 2022. But, what does this mean for the future of reproductive rights in the U.S.?

“It’s a very scary thing,” Juana Garcia, a political science major and women’s gender and sexuality studies minor, said. “If it were to get overturned, it would be up to each state to choose if abortion would be legal or not because it is a federal law.”

States would have the option to make it a crime to get an abortion, or even assist someone with getting an abortion, according to Garcia. Of course, states could also decide to uphold this decision

and continue to allow this reproductive right.

Garcia is not only involved in politics on the Long Beach State University campus, but she is also an activist for reproductive justice and social justice.

In fact, she has fought for the right of women to have access to the abortion pill on CSU and UC campuses. According to Garcia, we won’t see much of a change in California, however, we might see an influx of people moving to the state and to other states that choose to uphold abortion rights.

Although California will stay the same, a handful of states have already begun banning abortion and

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ILLUSTRATION BY NINA WALKER

were dying during these procedures because they didn’t have the proper equipment and care.”

But, the question is, why now? Why, after all these years, is Roe v. Wade getting overturned in 2022? According to Garcia, she believes it is because of who the supermajority of our judges is. There is a higher number of conservatives, and they are finally in a place where they can win this battle.

“The people in office are impacting women, but those making these laws are men,” Garcia said. “So, how can a man in office make a law that they don’t understand because it isn’t about their bodies? I just don’t understand.”

Over the years, women have been fighting tooth and nail to keep their reproductive rights alive, whether it be through sharing their personal stories or just marching the streets shouting for everyone to hear their pleas and demands. What can the people do to help? How can women and allies get their point across? According to Diana Fix-Mercy,

criminalizing those who get one. In Texas, a woman was recently arrested for having a “self-induced” abortion, however, it does look like the prosecutor is going to drop the case. Not only that, but Oklahoma has just passed a law that is described as a “near-total ban” on abortion. This means that those who get or try to have an abortion could face up to 10 years in prison for their actions or be punished with a $100,000 fine.

“Prior to having Roe v. Wade, abortion had been illegal throughout the U.S. It was criminalized, and there was a huge increase of back alley self-induced abortions,” Garcia said. “A lot of women

“WHY, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, IS ROE V. WADE GETTING OVERTURNED IN 2022?”

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“THERE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE PEOPLE OUT THERE FIGHTING FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS.” there are always going to be people out there fighting for women’s rights. Of course, the fear is hard to overcome, but at least we know who is on the front lines of this war.

“It should be up to every person to decide,” Garcia said. “Even if you personally choose to not do it, that doesn’t mean that you should be against people having a choice. You can be against it, but you don’t need to take away a person’s right to choose.”

a senior at LBSU majoring in women’s gender and sexuality studies, getting gruesome might be what we have to resort to.

“I think it is a double-edged sword. Many times, you can kind of appeal to people’s sensibilities and emotions,” Fix-Mercy said. “We live in a society where you hear horrible things like that on the news every time you turn on the TV. So, a lot of people have become desensitized to those stories. So, we either need to become even more gruesome and even more shocking, or we need to try a different tactic.”

Even though Fix-Mercy believes that using these stories gets sympathy and has helped appeal to the pathos of people, Garcia doesn’t feel the same way.

Garcia believes that we shouldn’t have to resort to sharing personal stories in order to decide what women want to do with their bodies.

“I feel like it shouldn’t have to come down to people showing vulnerability,” Garcia said. “I feel like it should just be up to people to have a choice. No woman is pro-abortion. No woman wants to go out and be like, ‘let’s murder a bunch of babies.’

Nobody wants that.”

With the decision right around the corner, and with more and more states deciding to place strict bans on abortion, it makes sense that women are scared for the future of reproductive rights in the U.S. However, a good amount of states are also making abortion even easier to access, by making it cheaper and allowing abortion pills to be obtainable. Although the future isn’t looking too bright,

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OPINION

BY NATALIE COMFORT

LIFE IS A ROLL OF THE DICE, WHY FRET OVER EACH PROBABILITY?

E

veryday, from the moment I wake up to when I fall asleep, I am bombarded with hundreds of decisions to make. Some trivial, some important. And with those decisions come a nearly infinite amount of options. In the morning, I wonder if I should park in the lot closest to my first class or to my last class. Do I want to take the 15 minute walk now or later? Or should I just be happy to get any spot at all after I leave late and spend an hour in traffic?

Don’t even get me started on menus. Makes my head spin. If there are more than six different options, forget it. How am I supposed to know which two-seasoning combo I’d prefer with my chicken? I’ll take whatever the person next to me is getting. But these are minor choices. So I reassure myself that they don’t matter much. After all, it won’t affect my entire life, right?

Honestly, I’d always thought the larger choices in life would be more difficult, but at least there are a lot more obviously wrong choices in those departments. If I can’t decide what to do, I will at least have a general idea of what I most definitely shouldn’t do. It’s a bit like if you can’t be first, you

ILLUSTRATION BY MADISON HOIBY

can at least make sure you’re not last. If I can’t make the best choice, I can make sure I’m not driving myself towards catastrophe at every turn. The problem with small choices is you have no idea of knowing whether a small choice might be important until it’s much too late to go back and revise it.

Also, unlike little choices, people have opinions on your life-altering choices, so at least there’s some guidance there. It may not be the highest quality guidance, but something is better than nothing.

Your high school counselor thinks you should be an engineer because you didn’t totally fail your stats class. Your coworker is thoroughly convinced you should be an entertainer of some kind, since you made a joke that made her laugh once. The mother of the child you’ve watched at daycare thinks you would make a great teacher. Nobody cares whether I order the chicken or shrimp scampi at Olive Garden. I mean, I hardly even care.

Even the bad advice can be helpful in some way, at least you have a direction to go in and then you can redirect later. And the consequences of larger decisions are easier to understand. They are logical in some way so if you want to work in a bank you would take an internship… in a bank. If you want to save a thousand dollars over the next three months, well, you just do the math. Small choices are a roll of a bagful of dice. You never know what you might end up with.

I can’t help but think about how some little

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choices have effects that can multiply into massive effects over time. I can’t keep track of all the times an adult over the age of 40 has told me how some happenstance occurrence introduced them to their lifelong partner or the career of their dreams.

It’s lovely to hear, almost inspiring, until you think about what would have happened if they weren’t reading their girlfriend’s favorite author in the metro.

If that feels overwhelming already, we’ve forgotten to consider how those decisions will then open up another branch of decisions, and so on into infinity. Years from now, I could be sitting in a park somewhere, thinking that if I hadn’t missed my exit on the 405 that one fateful day in April 2022, I could be in a completely different place right now. I don’t want that type of responsibility on my shoulders.

So maybe I’ll just flip a coin, or spin a wheel, or go to psychic. It probably won’t matter much in the long run anyway, not that there would be any way of knowing if it did.

“SMALL CHOICES ARE A ROLL OF A BAGFUL OF DICE. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU MIGHT END UP WITH.” 17

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STUDENT LIFE

BY JOEY MARTINEZ

A TRIP TO THE DESERT AND THE FEAR OF DREAMS AND WHAT’S LOST

H

eading north in Los Angeles, taking Route 14, shooting through Palmdale, through Lancaster, and finally through Rosamond, you’ll find yourself in the Mojave desert and its handful of unique cities.

I woke up at 5:30 in the morning and made the trip at 6:00, planning on making my first stop in California City. I found out about it a few months ago and after some research became very interested in visiting. The city was planned out by real estate developer Nat Mendelsohn in the 1960’s and was supposed to be a city large enough to rival LA. That never really came to be though. California City is still the third largest city in California, but if you go there you will see that only a small portion is developed with buildings. The rest of it is a large grid of winding suburban dirt roads, ones that you could drive through like a normal suburb.

I went to a diner there to get breakfast first and I’m not usually so hungry in the morning but I found myself ordering a pretty big meal. As I sat at my table I noticed glances from people around me.

Not any harsh ones. They were to my big curly hair and flowery Hawaiian shirt. The population of California City is around 20,000 and this particular area was a bit detached from the rest, so it’s easy to determine they just knew I wasn’t from around there. The waitress confirmed it as she asked if I was new here, and also recommended that I visit a big cat sanctuary a little ways off. I found out it was closed though.

After that, it was off to the empty lots. There is a fine line that separates the paved town and the dirt suburbia that stretches as far on the ground as you can see. It was hard to distinguish what was more surreal though, driving through streets of nothing or the walk I took right in the middle of them.

Throughout the trip I’d been listening to music constantly. Walking out though, I was immediately hit by the strangest silence I’d experienced.

There was quite a bit of wind but that was it. The ambience was low and deep, leaving me with the thoughts of what it would be like to just live out here with nothing but roads surrounding you. I walked up in elevation enough to get a larger view of the roads surrounding me. Some say Mendehlson didn’t fail when planning and implementing California City because he made a lot of money from the buyers that purely put money in as an investment. There’s a story about him though. It says that while he lived in the area he would sometimes go up to the top of Galileo Hill, a park in California City, and envision the sprawling city he dreamed of. You can go up to that hill yourself now. Maybe you could see the same thing he did. I didn’t get the chance though.

Just my luck that the entrance was gated off for the day.

I was very tired and I couldn’t even tell you now how much time I spent going through the streets, rummaging through broken dreams. So I decided

to rest and read into an empty culdesac as my little farewell to the town.

It was during my time here that I tried figuring out my next stop and decided that it would be Boron, the smallest town I’d ever visited. Arriving to it from the west, I drove through a hill where I could make out the town in the distance. For some reason it gave me a sinking feeling. There was nothing around it and I found out it was only 14 square miles with around 2000 people.

There was one big grocery store, two gas stations, and just a handful of small restaurants.

Everywhere I went in, I got that same look from back in the diner. If it was noticeable in California City that I wasn’t from here, I was a big, dumb alien in Boron. There was a moment in the grocery store when a group of men seemingly on break or getting off of work stopped to look at me as I went through the aisles. Again, like the diner, its just a look of seeing something not from around here.

Surreal stuff to me, but I get it.

After Boron I drove around for a while, collecting thoughts, figuring what I should do next. Then, I decided to head to Red Rock. I’ve heard about it a few times and I found a dirt road leading to campsites to drive through. Joshua trees and rocks colored red to yellow were hugging the sides and the sky had gotten rid of the few small clouds. I was too caught up in it to notice that the road narrowed and the dirt became more akin to gravel and sand.

“I WAS VERY TIRED AND I COULDN’T EVEN TELL YOU NOW HOW MUCH TIME I SPENT GOING THROUGH THE STREETS, RUMMAGING THROUGH BROKEN DREAMS.”

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ILLUSTRATION BY DAVID DARDIS Several dips and small rocks made it impossible to drive my low Malibu faster than five miles per hour without running the risk of scraping my bumper. My phone was dying as well so I had to give up the aux for my charger. There also wasn’t a single comprehensible radio wave. So I rolled down my window and decided that it would be time to get comfy again with my good friend silence, prompting me to gather my thoughts on the trip so far.

Why am I here? The question had been stirring in my mind yet suppressing itself equally. California City was exciting for me but made me think about how tragic it is for such a successful man to have not been successful enough for the sake of his dream. He wanted a legacy, something the world could hold onto that was his when he was gone.

Before this I hadn’t even thought of the idea that I could have a successful career yet never do what it is I truly wanted. I began to think of Boron too and how it adds to the idea. I saw a good number of people there that seemed so content working off of each other as a community. Am I doing something wrong by trying to make it in the city? How far should I take this writing stuff before I realize that I should just go somewhere smaller and live contently like that?

However, aside from the interesting prospect of being amongst a field of one man’s dead dream

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“NO, THESE WERE LOOKS THAT I’VE GOTTEN QUITE OFTEN FROM PEOPLE OF HIGHER PRIVILEGE THAN I.” in California City or going to the smallest town I’ve ever been to, Boron, I have a special spot in my heart for the desert. It stems from a trip I took once with my dad when I was about six or seven. I don’t remember where we were going or why. I only remember the trip. Back then I was a much quieter kid. Quiet enough that I could go on a whole car ride without saying much. A lot of my family really got on me for being quiet, but not my dad. We mostly talked only to point out things we saw to each other.

In between those moments, 70’s to 90’s rock played on the radio, getting me into my favorite genre of music, and inspiring my soundtrack for this ride. He isn’t around anymore, so maybe that’s what I’m afraid of. Losing the memory I mean. I think it’s time to go back.

Deciding I’d make my way back down from the desert a different way, I made it down to Santa Clarita, back in the city, immediately hating it.

We all know parts of Cali where the existence of you seems to matter a whole lot to strangers who won’t ever have to even talk to you. I’ve never been particularly discriminated against, at least I don’t think so, but every so often I get a look that was abundant in Santa Clarita. They aren’t looks of acknowledgement like back in the desert. No, these were looks that I’ve gotten quite often from people of higher privilege than I. They try to figure me out, my race, and whether or not they should be concerned about the guy who just got in line for chicken. Most people catch on in some way that I’m Mexican but it is the ones that spend a concerning amount of time amongst people just like themselves that get iffy about a guy like me. You could say they’re actually looking at something else, my shoes, my hair, maybe there’s a hole in my shirt, but I know when someone is looking at my face.

And with the gentle reminder of the city, I can’t tell whether I came back the same or worse. Definitely not better. As I talked with my friends about the trip I was making, they’d mention “finding enlightenment.” Even partly joking about it when I came back, asking me if I had. It was never about that though. It was originally California City and wanting to see a large concept dream fail in physical form. That’s what intrigued me. But that, combined with Boron, the drive, the silence, has only filled me with fear.

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STUDENT LIFE

BY LEAH OLDS

I HAVE BEEN HURT, AND I FEAR I WILL GET HURT AGAIN. SO WHY HAVEN’T I FOUND HELP? THIS IS A STORY ABOUT THERAPY, AND WHY I HAVEN’T GOTTEN ANY YET

F

rom the first day I started living independently, I’ve been telling myself to get a first aid kit. The little red helpers can be taken anywhere, they’re not very costly, and the utility of their contents pretty much goes without saying. After all, a person can only ignore razor nicks and torn cuticles for so long before a more serious injury is sustained, and it will probably require a better remedy than a Band-Aid. I will have wished I was more prepared for that pain.

I know I started to dip my toes into the proverbial deep-end in that last paragraph, but I wasn’t being entirely too figurative about the first aid kit. I’m still getting by with the multi-colored Band-Aids sitting on the top of the fridge, to the right of the box crammed with last month’s mail advertisements, and just behind the basket of herbal teas.

But this piece isn’t really about cuts and scrapes, or gauze and antibiotics, or any other household medical supply. It’s about therapy and why I haven’t gotten any yet.

Nowadays, it is easy to identify the precedent that has been set for the issue of mental health.

Media platforms, health organizations and every-

day folks actively engage in discourse regarding mental illnesses, addiction, anxiety and trauma, and help dismantle what was once a major taboo.

This de-stigmatization process has been ongoing since my junior high school days. During seventh grade lunch hours, some of my peers openly discussed their susceptibility to panic attacks and self-harm ideation. Four years later, my mother and eldest brothers experienced severe depression for over six months. Now, as a 22-year-old, I plainly acknowledge my dealings with those same struggles, which have only been inflamed by a very personal loss just last year.

So I say that I value my own mental health, and point to the evidence of my chronic oversharing, or my keen listening skills when family members need to vent their frustrations for a night. But when people ask if I have considered finding legitimate counsel, my walls go up. I proceed to lay out a catalog of deflections, from, “Well, I don’t want to seem whiny” to “Therapy’s too expensive!”, to the always timeless classic, “What if it doesn’t really go anywhere?”

The funny thing about my excuses is that they

are insanely shallow, and arriving at their solutions requires little brain power. It’s like my conscience snaps a non-corporeal finger at me and says, “Seriously? You don’t want to seem whiny? The person you will speak with is a licensed psychologist who gets paid to listen to your problems, so don’t worry so much about how they come across. You worry that you can’t afford therapy, but your university offers psychological services at no charge to students. Try making a phone call that isn’t to your girlfriend or your buddy, just this once. And dude, the last excuse is by far the silliest. Believing that therapy won’t ‘go anywhere’ but making no effort to try it is like worrying your car cannot get you to a destination when you haven’t even filled the tank!”

Every one of these allowances can be whittled down to the very human fear of unforeseen change.

I am afraid of something that has to happen, an inevitable devastation that will take away the clarity and confidence I might have gained in therapy.

Much like those who feel reluctant to take medication, I worry that leaning on therapy as a sort of crutch will only lead to regret once the peace in my

“I’VE LEARNED THAT FEAR IS THE ONLY THING I HAVE BECOME DEPENDENT ON.”

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ILLUSTRATION BY ARIELLE ZEPEDA

life is disturbed; or worse, if I don’t notice immediate changes in my emotional health. Recovery has always been regarded as a personal oasis, but for so long the concept has seemed more like a mirage to me. I’d like to challenge that skepticism.

But can I allow myself to embrace an environment that promotes positive, healthy changes despite knowing that my life is not impervious to arguments, accidents, pain and loss? Well, I’d like to think that by publicizing my considerations here, I can solidify my willingness to not just accept help, but choose action. I may not be naïve enough to believe that life will only ever be smooth sailing, but that doesn’t mean I should let myself get hit by

incoming tidal waves without first signaling for a rescue.

I’ve learned that fear is the only thing I have become dependent on. It damages my self-respect and renders me passive toward my own mental health. I want a relationship with therapy that will no longer be about digging for thin excuses, or applying those temporary Band-Aids that smother my oozing inner turmoil. I want to let myself heal without getting in my own way, out of sheer anxiety.

And above all, I want access to a first aid kit whose tools can better my mental health, affirming the love I have for myself and others around me.

It is not going to be entirely too easy, figuring

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out how to seek out the healing agent who can guide me through painful life encounters. But at least I know not to look on top of the refrigerator anymore.

“I WORRY THAT LEANING ON THERAPY AS A SORT OF CRUTCH WILL ONLY LEAD TO REGRET ONCE THE PEACE IN MY LIFE IS DISTURBED.” 21

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ART

BY AVERY KELLER

ILLUSTRATION BY JOEY QUIAN

A conceptualization of incomprehensibility With endless postulations of consternation Do these words grant any invincibility Or fall short with the sense of floccinaucinihilipilification Like the repetitive learning in the 6th grade on Mesopotamia How long can we go before the effects of trichotillomania Set in All of the thoughts cloud in motion contemporaneous Constantly camouflaged in the crimes of academia Is it enough to be honorificabilitudinitatibus Never ending that feeling of claustrophobia We can only turn our heads in these straightjackets Should we throw it all out and move to Massachusetts For what Is it any different or all just interchangeable Breathe in breathe out let it go to nothingness As we keep going and going does it become unintelligible When will we begin the brennschluss The wheels stop turning the plane plummeting Will someone catch it or are they too headstrong Do they even know Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Antidisestablishmentarianism Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Xenotransplantation Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism Newtown­mount­kennedy Is it all too much

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ART

BY MILA LE

There’s a clown in my closet And I won’t set him free Perhaps it’s the fear of him Hurting someone like how he hurt me At the circus we laugh During moments of our life Where we wish for an escape Of all things rife But when the show comes to an end And we are left without light

ILLUSTRATION BY ARIELLE ZEPEDA

The circus becomes silent And the clown creeps into the night Lured me in with his warm smile And his sleeves, full of color But only some know Of the dark secrets hidden in his big, red honker To put on a show was his only purpose So he used me for laughter Made a clown out of me So he could be the ringmaster

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I balanced on trapezes for him Without a safety net Every day I risked my sanity Just to be full of regret The clown used to make me feel A little less ugly, a little less lonely A little less of a phony But now the clown makes me feel Like I never needed an escape from reality

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ART

BY NATALIE COMFORT

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JAKE WINKLE

Anniversary Dinner two candlesticks, languishing yellow, sit, Proud, Rigid, held in small dark jars gripping their bases. thin wax flakes gather around the upper rim, a couple falling further, past engraved spiraling intertwined with thin straight cracks of the brittle wood. a teardrop of wax slides, meeting the tablecloth, inner liquid wax rippling and wrinkling, pressing against the walls of its congealed surface. the man slouches forward, forearms crossed, hands hanging off the edge of the table, the woman leans to one side, then another, eyes fixating on a painting, indistinct brushstrokes of gold and blue. and the flame flickers, casting shadows, one moment tall and thin, another moment short and wide, leaning to one side and then another, responding to unfelt drafts.

-Natalie Comfort

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ART

BY ARIEL SMITH

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY JAKE WINKLE

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Love’s Unblinding I don’t often ask for help but I also never learned how to solve my own Problems. I stick my head in the Sand at the sight of trouble; Let the rocks and shell fragments Coat my brain so I don’t have to think.

But you’ve started pulling My head out, dusting me off.

You make me think.

Ask for help or help yourself, You say.

Now I’m aware.

I’ve been scared ever since.

There’s nowhere to hide when You’re being watched.

No playing dumb when You’re smart.

Nothing’s left to coat my brain with.

Nothing’s left to hide behind.

Nothing’s left to be said.

Face your problems, you tell me.

You can’t see the face when you’re Covered by the sand, so you Pull my head out and tell me again

-Ariel Smith

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CULTURE

BY LEAH OLDS

ILLUSTRATION BY CAROLINE BAE

SOMETIMES IT’S A BACKWARDS-AGING BABY MAN… All you scary cinephiles and freaky film fans think you know horror? Prepare to be humbled and beware the spoilers that follow!

1. Sorry to Bother You (2018, Boots Riley) Boots Riley’s directorial debut is conscious on many levels, surreal to the max and is one of the most memorable dark comedies of the last decade.

Here’s the basic premise: A poor Oakland man named Cassius Green begins working as a caller for a soul-sucking telemarketing business. He learns from his fellow Black employees that he must imitate a white man’s voice during calls in order to boost sales and move up the company ladder.

Cassius does so and starts making gobs of money, much to the chagrin of former co-workers who are unionizing and protesting the company. In the end, he must decide whether he will stand with the exploited workers or keep crossing their picket line.

And that is pretty much all you can expect to see in this flick!

Well… except for the little thing at the end where evil CEOs are turning their loyal employees, including our protagonist, into literal workhorses who get pissed and thereafter stage an “Equisapien” revolution. So if you were wondering where the spooky element can be found, just watch the last ten minutes for some human-horse body horror. It will make you think you fell asleep at some point in your viewing but rest assured, you did not.

than watch a bunch of white dudes in business suits discuss subprime mortgages and synthetic collateralized debt obligations. But the people who paid $12.50 to see this are not like most people.

They likely enjoy other sadist entertainment, like the “Saw” franchise. Only instead of being obsessed with guts and gore, fans of this Oscar-nominated terror take pleasure in exposition, watching Margot Robbie and Selena Gomez give funny little PSAs explaining economic jargon while a bunch of greedy Wall Street guys take advantage of the incoming Great Recession of the late 2000s. Truly chilling.

“AN OLD MAN. A BABY. AN OLD MAN WHO IS ALSO A BABY.” 3. A Bug‘s Life (1998, John Lasseter)

2. The Big Short (2015, Adam McKay)

Pixar’s junior release hit the scene back when the studio made family flicks about existentialism and exploitation. Wait… don’t they still do that?

These bugs may seem all colorful and anthropomorphic-like, but make no mistake, they are as shifty and resilient as their real life counterparts. Hopper’s capitalist monologue will trigger the fight-or-flight response of underpaid workers all over America, and of course, his death scene is absolutely terrifying – enough to raise the eyelids of any desensitized five-year-old who found a bootleg of the film on Putlocker.

Most people would sooner volunteer themselves for a helicopter bungee dive into a manmade lake – filled with horse manure, à la “Fear Factor” –

4. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008, David Fincher) An old man. A baby. An old man who is also a baby.

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A baby who begins his life as an old man and then becomes a young man who somehow becomes a baby again. And the whole time, the baby who is also an old man who is actually a young man is…

Brad Pitt. Curious, indeed.

No one could ever think up a nightmare this insidious, and no amount of wishful thinking or responsible drinking will ever get the images out of your head. This material is for singular viewings only. Then, after you rock yourself back and forth a few times in the corner, you might be able to go about your day again.

5. Small Soldiers (1998, Joe Dante) Here is a title that was either a staple in your household’s VHS collection when you were small, or you have absolutely no idea what the hell this movie is but it sounds… familiar.

Why? Probably because it’s basically the evil clone of Toy Story (1995), but instead of cowboys and spacemen, there are alien tribesmen called “Gorgonites” (good guys) and trigger-happy “Commando Elites” (bad guys, obviously), which are action figures brought to life by military computer chips.

The creepiest scene is undoubtedly the one which finds the Commandos turning the Mattel-inspired “Gwendy” dolls into scantily clad killers who want to decapitate Kirsten Dunst’s girl-next-door character, Christy Fimple. One of the Gwendies – voiced by Sarah Michelle Gellar, no less – threatens Christy with the catchphrase, “If you can’t pulverize, accessorize!” Which is just… camp. Then the dolls jump across the darkened room with piercing giggles and stick-like body movement, before getting mutilated by their human hostage.

If you have a thing for corrupted innocence and outright campiness, this is the one to know.

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OPINION

BY KAMRYN BOUYETT

HOW TO CONQUER YOUR FEARS IN THE MOST LOGICAL WAY POSSIBLE WITHOUT THE HASSLE OF A THOUSAND DOLLAR REGISTRATION FEE

B

efore I start, trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I know what you’re going through when you question whether or not you can do it. You can. Trust me, but before you do…this thing that you fear to do, let me give you some pointers.

Your teachers, mentors, advisors will tell you to strive for a goal. Writing down these short term or long term goals will help you focus on what you want in the end. Has this ever helped though? Don’t do that, don’t have a goal at all. Think about the thing that you want to do, whether it’s academically, physically or mentally and think about what would happen if you don’t do it. If you don’t study for that test, get up early for practice, or attend your weekly therapy sessions. You feel that overwhelming sensation of failure? Yes, that is what you need to conquer your fears. Use that sensation to focus. To ease your anxiety.

Let me use an example for the ones that still don’t understand. You’re afraid of heights. That feeling when you’re in an airplane is very unsettling and causes issues with your desire to travel.

It started when you were young when you fell off of the top of the swing set trying to impress everyone with your climbing skills. Alright, take that fail-

ure of not being able to climb the swing set. Think about what your mom said when you came home with a bruised knee and the disappointment in your mom’s tone. Take that and apply it to your fear of traveling in an airplane. If I can’t anxiously ride this airplane what will my mom think? If I don’t ride this airplane what is the worst thing that can happen? Yes, it could crash but really think…is that the worst?

A slight variation of this tactic would be having confidence. I can go on about how to have confidence but in this situation let’s pretend that you have it already. Use this confidence and tell yourself that you can’t fail because you’re you. You’re the baddest female dog ever, you’re the hottest tamale and you can conquer that fear. I do this everyday, so I can continue to walk the Earth with no fear. I look in the mirror and tell myself I am the best, hottest, good looking-est woman that has ever walked the Earth before I set foot in anyone’s presence. What do you say in the mirror? Have you conquered your fears yet? Let’s continue to the people in your life.

This is one of the most important aspects in conquering your fears in the long run. You need people around you who are the same as you. You need to remember you are the best, no one else

can top you, but with the best comes the worst.

If you have people who go against your morals, or judgment, or who don’t even know you they will not help you. Instead these people will make you even more afraid of the things you want to achieve.

They will compete with you on your successes, take your lingo, they can even exhaust your time, and your mental health with their negativity ultimately limiting your power to conquer your fears.

Sadly I’ll have to bring an ex-partner into this. His presence was charismatic (that’s how they get you), loving and kind but underneath it all he was the most controlling person ever. It was tough trying to conquer my fear of writing. Of course he didn’t do this intentionally, he just slowly convinced me that my desire to conquer this fear was unattainable (which is always untrue). Find your best people, avoid the “worst” and stick with them as you conquer your fears…trust me you will conquer them.

Let’s talk about a special case of fear. Money.

I know a lot of individuals have this overwhelm-

“YOU’RE THE BADDEST FEMALE DOG EVER, YOU’RE THE HOTTEST TAMALE AND YOU CAN CONQUER THAT FEAR.”

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ILLUSTRATION BY E. DELGADO TOLEDO

ing urge to either hoard or overspend their money causing them to feel fearful in losing it or using it.

Money does not matter. Say that 10 times fast. In history class we were learning about how tombs would hold special items of the dead so they could have them in their after life (I think). These Egyptians had gold, jewelry, their favorite items of clothing, etc… but they’re dead (rip). What I’m trying to say is there is no point in being fearful of money. It holds absolutely no value when you’re gone (lol maybe a little). I know you’re smart enough to know how to use money, I’m not talking about not being responsible. I’m only talking about the thought of money and its possibilities. You will have some, you won’t have some, period.

You must have a life motto. This motto will allow you to not only conquer your fears but it will push you to conquer many other fears you may have.

Yolo is mine. Yolo stands for “You only live once”.

When I go about my daily life, I sometimes come across decisions that I need to make immediately.

Social anxiety is a big fear of mine. When people ask me out to eat, to come to a party or a social event my life motto comes into play- Yolo. I go just because I may not be able to see these people ever again. I also go back to my first tip. Thinking about what’s the worst that could happen?

Overall, overcoming your fears is all up to you.

Each decision you make in regard to your fears will either hinder you or uplift you in the future. Yes, I will admit there will be days where you just want to cry, curl up in a ball and wonder why things never

FEAR ISSUE 88.03

“MONEY DOES NOT MATTER. SAY THAT 10 TIMES FAST.” change but if you cower from anything that makes you uncomfortable you will never get to where you want to be. I ran away from my first grade crush and now I can’t even talk to someone I like without wanting to jump out of my skin. We need to put an end to childish behavior that is holding us back from achieving the impossible.

Society will tell you to not take my advice.

To continue to pass down the sad advice of entrepreneurs that make you pay to hear them speak. Trust me, my advice is free. Take my tips to heart for a week let me know if you don’t conquer your fears.

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ART

BY ANDRES LEON

DESIGN BY JAKE WINKLE

FEAR ISSUE 88.03

BEHIND THE COVER ART WITH JAKE WINKLE TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WENT BEHIND THIS MONTH’S COVER ART

J

ake Winkle is a senior at Long Beach State University who is enrolled in the Graphic Design BFA. He’s served as 22 West Media’s art director for the magazine since the spring semester of 2021. He loves to indulge in literally all forms of media whether that be books, films, and music. In this piece, you’ll see the thought process that went into designing the cover for this issue. In all it’s green and horror.

Q: What was the process behind creating this piece?

As with all work I do it’s usually never how it’s planned, as horrible as that is. From the get-go, I tried my best to sort of build a reference library of all things about fear whether that be images, movie references, or even just design techniques.

That’s why the result has this overarching branding of “fear” stretched and blurred out; showing itself, but not enough to fully make sense of it. I guess that’s more of my fear of not being able to see.

Nothing is more fun than waking up and not being able to see a literal foot away. Anyways, I think it’s always important to know what exactly you’re selling. From references we can build off them and find the color palette, the theme, the right amount of dynamism, and more importantly what needs to be said in-between the layers.

Q: What were your inspirations behind the piece?

Where do I start? I think it was solid to work off things that weren’t horror films. Not that it was a bad reference, but it’s kind of hard to quantify things like “Possession” (1981), “Under the Skin” (2013), and “Climax” (2018). I more so looked at tarot cards, horror manga, and book covers. Leading me to my main inspiration point of the tarot tower card as it is sort of the quintessential representation of fear in the deck. From there I looked towards Junji Ito’s “Uzumaki”, it’s a whole horror manga series about some of the most gruesome things I’ve ever seen. Out of that book, there was one story that always stuck with me and that’s the

“Lighthouse” short story. Sadly not on brand for the tower inspiration, but somewhat of a tower I guess. Essentially the story is about a lighthouse that straight up melts people and that’s what you’re seeing here on the cover. It’s one of the slides from when two kids tried to get out but ended up being burned to a crisp. I felt that image alone was polarizing enough to get my point across. As for the color, I know it may seem pretty odd at a glance. But It’s a reference to Jeff Vandermeer’s book “Annihilation” which was also a movie with Natalie Portman, pretty good would recommend it. Anyways, that book specifically details this idea of fear in nature.

In all its color and greenery it still did its job of being this immensely scary force. The book honestly felt like the fear of the great ocean but with plants. As much as I adore the story, the covers from that trilogy are some beautifully designed ones, that I still gush about to this day. That was sort of the main inspiration, behind the color scheme you see here.

Which I ended up keeping cause I really enjoyed seeing fear as unexpected and present no matter the time of day rather than “oh, dark and spooky.”

what to do and that’s when the gears started to move again. I had this very philosophical conversation about fear with a friend detailing that real fear isn’t all goblins and ghouls, but that it’s more so disguised in our everyday life. That’s where the whole distorted type came into play as fear isn’t ever front and center, but rather it’s in the in-between lingering, always hard to make out. Our conversation also talked a lot about film and the genre of horror that has given fear its many faces.

I think everyone who was anyone knew that when they saw Ari Aster’s 2019 film Midsommar, fear could be so much. It’s not just at night, it’s there in the sun with the flowers and all. Not even in the day time are we free from it .

Q: Was there a main message that you wanted to get across?

That fear is not some spooky in-the-night type of thing it’s a force of nature, figuratively and literally, that is present in our everyday lives. We can’t help but try to acknowledge it to conquer it. It is an everyday battle, but it doesn’t have to be a forever one. I’m sure you could see that from reading all these articles we whipped up for you. At the end of the day, fear is only so scary until we see it for what it is; some accumulation of the past that we’re trying our best to make sense of.

Q: How did you first approach it versus how it turned out?

Q: Where can people find more of your art?

Honestly, I genuinely tried to make some 1979 H.R. Giger for “Alien” type beat. But I remember the day I showed my team, I’ve never gotten such a stale reaction towards a rough draft. I was all excited wtih my Hieronymus Bosch art reference and everyone was just like “gee Jake this looks ugh... great.” So I sort of got the hint that it’s back to the drawing board. I reached out to a few people about

I don’t post much to be completely real. Not that I’m trying to be all drip and drown, but my work still feels very novice, at least to me. You can reach out to me on Instagram @jaekwinkle or even my site at jakewinkle.com. I’ll try to post more in the summer. Thanks for reading all this jazz and thanks for actually picking up this issue, means a lot to me.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did making it.

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Contributors Caroline Bae, Artist Stacey Chen, Artist David Dardis, Artist Patrick Daugherty, Artist Madison Hoiby, Artist Joey Quian, Artist Elizabeth Delgado Toledo, Artist Nina Walker, Artist Arielle Zepeda, Artist Fabian Rubio, Photographer Kamryn Bouyett, Writer Natalie Comfort, Writer Lauren Galvan, Writer Kadie Gurley, Writer Jude De Luna, Writer Mila Le, Writer Joey Martinez, Writer Leah Olds, Writer Jude Sampson, Writer Ariel Smith, Writer Caroline Smith, Writer VOLUNTEER MEETINGS No meetings over summer break Contact @Editorinchief@22westmedia.com to get involved Or DM @22westlb on Instagram

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