Distract divert disassociate

DISTRACT DIVERT DISASSOCIATE

THE EASIEST PATH IS THE RIGHT ONE: MALADAPTIVE COPING MECHANISMS

Written by Natalie Comfort

Do you struggle with questioning what your life means? Whether what you are currently doing makes you happy? What do you really want in your future? If your problems require you to move to a new country and start a new life or if you should just spend more time outside? Now, conventional wisdom might tell you to do some self-exploration. But I disagree, I believe in quick surface-level solutions that require minimal effort. Really, I understand the put a band-aid over a bullet hole phrase was meant to make fun of this, but have you ever filled a dent in your apartment wall with a thin coat of paint and gotten your security deposit back. What I’m trying to say is I think sometimes the easiest path is the right one. If you do too, keep reading.

Think about your current morning routine. Does it include any moment of silence, time to ponder unnecessary obscure details of your life? If so, you’ve pinpointed the first aspect of this problem. Think about all the time you are giving thoughts to enter your mind, frolic, disturb your mental state and break your plan for the day. Put plainly, your carelessness is causing your own pain. Prevention is better than a cure.

Now you might complain that distracting yourself isn’t solving your problems. But the issue with your problems isn’t the problem itself but the emotional distress that it causes you. Most of the time, persistent problems in your life are complicated, based on circumstances out of your control, or require excessive amounts of time to fix. If you can’t fix the problem itself, you can at least stop yourself from perceiving the emotional effects of your problem.

I would go so far as to say distraction is an act of self-compassion. What happens is out of your control, whether you choose to give it headspace is in your control. Remember, how when little kids get upset you just wave something shiny or noisy in front of them or give them food? Sometimes, the simple method works and there is nothing wrong with that. Now I am not saying that your emotional coping skills should stay the same as a toddler, but I am saying if something is not broken, no need to fix it, right? I mean it will be super beneficial to your mental health to allow your problems to pile up until they reach an unmanageable level.

The best part of this approach is that it is a blanket solution for most problems because it isn’t really a solution at all. But what you can’t fix, you can always hide. Not all obstacles can be moved, but they can mostly be avoided, and if not, there is no shame in turning around and going back the way you came. You don’t know if what is ahead of you is worth all that effort, so I wouldn’t recommend overexerting yourself. After all, the journey is more important than the destination or insert some other bullshit inspirational phrase.

On a personal note, do you have conflicts in your relationships? Do you have issues with the way your friends or family act? I have a suggestion that has always resolved the problem flawlessly. Instead of telling people what upsets you, just silently keep a tally of their wrongs without telling them. Eventually, you will become so resentful with those you love, that you will be able to cut them off completely with little emotional attachment. Never mind that if you had just been honest and shared how they acted made you feel, they might have corrected their own behavior. They also might have continued, in which case your suspicions that they don’t care about your well-being would have been confirmed. Rather than going out on an emotionally risky limb, cut the entire branch off.

Or are you unsure of what you want in the future? Do you feel like your current path might not be the right one for you? Well, the bad news is that finding a path for yourself will require trial and error, self-reflection and then going back to the first step and starting again. There are tons of paths that might make you happy in different ways and such limited time in your life, that it is highly likely even step one will elicit a fuck ton of difficult questions. And even if by some stroke of miraculous luck, you settle upon a path to follow, with all the unpredictability of life, your chances of making it down that path is low.

But hey, I have a simpler solution that requires a lot less effort. Instead of weighing the options available to you, pick up more and more obligations that until exhaust yourself. Rather than enduring that emotional suffering that is self-reflection, just continue to pile on more tasks. Eventually you will have so much work to do you won’t have the luxury to consider how much you like each of your activities, or the alternative paths for career that you could be going on.

I mean, let’s be honest, who wants to put in effort to solve their problems anyways?