STUDENT LIFE
BY JUDE SAMPSON
R E F A OD T HE
F
O
OF
In the early stages of my life
ballgame. Healthcare providers are notorious
I found only solace in food. I did not denote any foods as good or bad. Food meant that I was in the presence of my rather large family who instilled the idea of tradition in its younger generation through old recipes and time spent cooking and eating together. I yearn to be young again, a time in my life where I enjoyed food so unapologetically and so earnestly. Outside of my family gatherings, the kisses on the cheek after a meal were replaced with a chorus of laughter from my peers. I was proud of how much I could eat. I was proud of the diverse palette I had compared to other kids my age. However, this pride turned to shame as I got older and kids became meaner. Sure, my parents got mad when I stopped eating my lunches but at least the kids at school had one less reason to torment me. It was as my body began to change with puberty and the looming threat of depression that I realized I had to force myself to be afraid of food, I thought. In my head, eating food meant gaining weight. Gaining weight meant “looking fat.” “Looking fat” in middle school meant having a target on my back. I equated not eating with surviving socially and quickly turned my enthusiasm for food into an enthusiasm for thinness. Alas, thinness never came for me. During these years of restrictive and harmful eating I quickly learned that discrimination toward plus-size people seeped its way into every corner of our lives. I not only had to endure this treatment at school, but at a place everyone should feel comfortable, accommodated, and listened to: the doctor’s office. An entirely different article could be written about the general fear people have of going to the doctor, but for plus-size folks, it’s a whole new
for not only stigmatizing overweight patients but refusing certain tests and treatments under the guise that their suggestion to “lose more weight” is all the treatment that patients need. An editorial in The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) from February 2019 showed that in a survey of primary care doctors, 50% of them “viewed obese patients as awkward, unattractive, ugly, and noncompliant.” My first run-in with a doctor like this was when I was 13. A pretty formative age, right? They did not seem to care. I went in for a routine physical, and I left being told that I needed to lose 70 pounds. She gave me no resources. No pamphlets. Nothing. She said “See you back in three months. Hope you’ll make some progress,” then slammed the door in my face. What did she think the outcome of her words would be? That I would come back in three months 70 pounds lighter, ready to be the poster kid for beating childhood obesity? Her words have stuck with me for the rest of my life, regardless of how much I have grown as a person. Hearing such daunting, fear-mongering language from healthcare professionals makes plus-size people scared to ask questions, which can prolong what underlying condition remains undiagnosed at the hands of biased doctors. “Noncompliant” is the word from that survey that stings particularly bad. I hate to make such a simple statement, but fat people have lives too. Fat people work long hours and have bills to pay, homes to take care of, and in some cases, kids too! Fat people, just like a majority of society, are under the strain of tumultuous, busy lives that don’t facilitate the most time for thinking about yourself and your own health. It’s such a sad truth to write, but it’s my own as well. I’m a full-time student who commutes. I work
part-time. I’m internship hunting. At the end of the day, the only thing on my mind is making up for the day’s lack of food in any way, shape, or form and getting into bed. I am constantly beating myself up for not having a “rise and grind” mentality. Why shouldn’t I get up at 5 a.m. to go on a run? Other people do it! Why can’t I meal prep for the week and calorie count as I cook? Other people do it! This is where the fear begins to dissipate. I am not “other people.” “Other people” are not me. No one has the same body as another person. We are all unique in our body composition, our metabolism, and our cravings. No one else has the same 24 hours, either. Of course, people who have ample time and money find it easy to work out and meal prep and find “healthy food” with ease. Folks who, in comparison, have little time and money use whatever leftovers they have of each to find some semblance of peace in their lives. The “calories in, calories out” agenda that gets pushed on us by influencers and fitness gurus is proof that people who have a more flexible 24 hours find that burning off all of the food you ate that day is feasible. It is in fact not feasible. For so many people. We cannot continue to assume that all people are affronted the same resources, just as we are all not given the same time in the day.
“I QUICKLY LEARNED THAT DISCRIMINATION TOWARD PLUS-SIZE PEOPLE SEEPED ITS WAY INTO EVERY CORNER OF OUR LIVES.”
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